Al abroad march 2015

FR

ad.e44s allaberonum www.201 ber 5 issu

EE

March

DARTS - Gran Alacant Lions The BRITISH market Plus!

The Homes, Gardens & Lifestyle Show Also in this issue: Diary Medaesthetics and...Mandy’s Ally’s fashion page Your pets The Vestry: er

Malcolm Pawlm ords...

Tasty stuff!

More wise (ish)

fiscal advice, features, quizzes, puzzles, crosswords,

On yer bike!

With Cyclogical

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OFFICE: C/San Luis 2, 03187 Los Montesinos Alicante Tel. 966 720 959 Visit our website: www.easypost.es Email: alicantesouth@easypost.es

Cover: Sierra de Gran Alacant

for the locals...by the locals..!

Now Open

Come and enjoy warm hospitality and great food.

Relax in our comfortable, smart surroundings

Serving our guests the best freshly prepared dishes and offering an inspired, vibrant and regularly changing menu.

Join us for Mother’s Day Sunday 15th March and for Easter Sunday, 5th April.

Enjoy our delicious traditional Sunday Lunch or choose from some of Laurel & Hardy’s other favourites.

Table Reservations

965 077 444

info@laurelandhardys.com

Opening Hours Mon-Sat: from 6pm Sunday: 1pm-9pm

Calle Los Arcos, 21, Ciudad Quesada w: laurelandhardys.com f: Laurel & Hardy’s, Quesada 2

it!

ALL ABROAD

www.allabroad.es

Following on from last month’s article about learning (specifically languages but it could have applied to many things) which provoked a response I must say…I’ve dis-

Take a break! with

covered something more about learning this month and that is that we don’t need to learn anything anymore. Never again. Ever. You just have to Google it.

The answers are always there whether it is via YouTube, EBay or if you were wondering how to achieve position 47 in the Kama Sutra, the answers to the world’s questions are just a few clicks away.

MONDAY/MONTAG/LUNES

Stuck trying to help the kids with their homework? Google it. Want to get the car serviced but can’t afford the cost of the local dealer. Google has the answer. Perhaps you want to bake a cake but can’t find the recipe or DIY brain surgery has appealed to you, trust me on this there will be instructions and probably a helpful video to go

1.Benidorm - 10€ 2. Algar/Guadalest - 13€ TUESDAY/DIENSTAG/MARTES

1.Villajoiosa / ALICANTE - 12€ MARKET, CHOCOLATE FACTORY, CASTLE

with it. Even hypochondriacs are now discovering new things to suffer from by look-

2. Altea / Jalon Valley - 22€

ing up what it is they are currently showing ‘symptoms’ of on Google.

3.Alicante - 7€

ALTEA MARKET

WEDNESDAY/MITTWOCH/MIERCOLES

Even my radio programme is affected s we can’t possibly run a quiz on who sang a certain song or when because Eric from Ipswich will Google it in the space of a nanosecond and be back online demanding his free t-shirt before I’ve finished the question!

Parents these days no longer need to subscribe to a 150 volumes of the Encyclopaedia Britannica or ask Uncle Trevor (who knows these things) to answer the sometimes awkward inquisitiveness of their offspring, all they need to do is type in the words and Hey Presto! up pops the answer and often, as I said before, with an instructional video…explaining the birds and the bees was never like this when I as younger…

Its good and bad of course as sometimes the answer may be a mile away from the context in which you personally was thinking and typing ‘good suction’ when you are actually looking for a decent vacuum cleaner may well take you to somewhere that may well offer just what you asked for but probably hasn’t got a Dyson label on…nor much else, so be careful out there!

1. Benidorm - 10€ (Market Day) 2. Alicante - 7€ THURSDAY/DONNERSTAG/JUEVES

1. Cartagena - 10€ *Boat trip -17€ inc boat *Mar Menor Train inc train 13€ Boat trip + Train - 20€ inc both tickets Licor 43 Experience 18€ inc drink Licor 43 Experience + Train 21€ inc Drink FRIDAY/FREITAG/VIERNES

1. SHOPPING Condominia/Ikea/Thader - 10€ 2. Murcia - - 10€ 3. TERRA NATURA

25€ Adult

23€ Child/Senior

4. BENIDORM PALACE COACH + MEAL + SHOW = 51€ COACH + SHOW = 35€

My girlfriend, who is Spanish, has, at times, whispered sweet nothings in my ear and later, with the aid of Google Translate I’ve discovered just what on earth it was she was saying. However, my system I far from perfect and last week when she said a few quiet words in my ear I understood (thanks to the Translator App on my phone) that she had a problem with damp in the oven. Apparently she meant something a lot more personal and therefore my reply of ‘I’ll send someone around tomorrow to have a good look at it’ did not go down well…

5. Benidorm Night Out - 11€ 6. Alicante Night Out 9€ 7. Novelda + Sanctuary + Bodega 17€ SATURDAY/SAMSTAG/SABADO

1.Valencia - 16€ 2. Union (Mine Park) + Mazarron - 17€ SUNDAY/SONNTAG/DOMINGO

1. Benidorm - 10€

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3

Whats happening.... on the Costa Blanca GONE TO THE DOGS...

the audience how service dogs can help

Owners Association of Santa Pola and

Alzheimer's. Kali removed her trainer’s

To view more animals for adoption go to

jacket, shoes and socks. She fetched slip-

www.petsinspain.com

pers, keys and remote. Kali even closed

To advertise an animal for adoption

their families.

cupboard doors.

email: info@petsinspain.info

The main attraction was a free group dog

Finally there was a demo by Strong, a

On Sunday, February 22, 2015, the Pet Gran Alacant (ASPETGA) hosted an event attended by more than 100 dogs and

training session by Tierras del Segura.

Dogs and their owners were taught how

469 253

people suffering from limited mobility or

drug sniffing dog with the local police K-9 unit.

New British Saturday Market - In true British spirit 28 Market Traders braved

to cope with nervous dogs, how to safely introduce strange dogs and more.

the wind and rain at The Marjal Costa

This training session was followed by a

on the AP7,at the end of January. Despite

Blanca Campsite at Catral junction 730 the inclement weather and winds of 50k

demo from by the fantastic Kali of Cora-

an hour it was a huge success and we

zones de Oro (Hearts of Gold) service

would like to say "Well Done" to all of

dogs group. Kali was amazing and with

those involved. On Saturday March 14th

the help of a few volunteers showed

11.00a.m. - 4.00p.m. there will be a repeat performance and this time we have ordered better weather! We will have over 40 market stands - the emphasis is BRITISH with a capital B and there will be Pies and Cakes and Cheddar Cheese, BritSince the Gran Alacant dog park is

ish Foods, Clothes, Shoes, Gifts, Art and

currently under construction, this year’s

Crafts, Info on Places to Go and much

event was held at the park on Avenida

much more!!

Noruega. The park kiosk opened for this special event providing refreshments for

This "Campsite" is luxury all the way!

attendees. The local shelter, APDA, also

It is one of the most modern camping

was present with an information booth.

sites in the whole of Europe with more

All attendees received free treats from

than 1,400 Pitches, Park Homes, Lodges,

Luposan.

there is a Fitness Gym, Spa and Fabulous Swimming Pool and the campsite

ASPETGA also raised 72.50 euros for their

hosts over 2000 guest at this time of

food bank and collected over 10 kilos of

year! Contact for more information rog-

pet food

erstone4@hotmail.co.uk

Pets In Spain Benji is a Chihuahua cross and was found

VISITORS TAKE FLIGHT

Gran Alacant Darts League hosted a team

limping on the

from Liverpool for a long weekend to play

streets; possi-

in a tournament against the Gran Alacant

bly he had been

Lions, an all-star team of the best players

hit by a car. An

from our little community.

x-ray has shown he has a slight

The first round of play was at Bar Sioux

fracture but

and Chasers. The result was 6-5 and

no need for an

6-5 with the home team, led by some of

operation. He is

our best women players! winning. Play

3 years old and

resumed at Bar 1 and Barloko. The big

good with other

night was Saturday.

dogs. Call: 645

4

even invite other teams.

If you are looking for a great day out or to enhance your home, garden and life-

ing demonstrations and celeb chat, whilst Mark will be valuing antiques and also lenge! Mark’s Marvellous Antique Quiz This two day Show extravaganza has the

ally with a glass of cava.......just answer the following question. What popular UK

Health Travel Public Liabiity -

TV program did Antony Worrall Thompson appear on regularly? Email gina@gmpromotions.es and put the answer in the subject line. Good Luck and we look forward to seeing you all at the next exciting

-

with products and services to see, taste, try and buy, we have folded even more ingredients into the Show mix for 2015

NOW! It’s easy...

Tel.

966 731 691

Quesada Office Calle Los Arcos (Ciudad Quesada) (Next to Yorkshire Linen) La Zenia Office CC os Dolces, La Zenia (Next to Mercadona & Lidl

Email: Spanish-insurance@hotmail.com Accident

- Funeral

5

Health

gardens, lifestyle and leisure, packed

Home

Homes Gardens & Lifestyle Show.

Contact us to get covered

-

A B C through to Z of everything homes,

Show and meet Antony and Mark person-

Travel

with an opportunity to win an Antique!

To win complimentary VIP tickets to the

-

staging the Golden Leaves Expat Chal-

-

case kitchens, with mouth-watering cook-

person.

Business

it up in the The Costa’s Cook Off! Show-

am – 5.00 pm. Show entry just 2.50 per

Public Liabiity

pert Mark Stacey. Antony will be cooking

Show dates are 10th & 11th April 10.00

www.spanish-insurance.net Cutting Prices Providing Great Service

-

Worrall Thompson and our antiques ex-

gmpromotions.es or call 695 399 841.

-

Show the charismatic celeb chef Antony

exhibition on the Costas email gina@

Motor

formed and meet our UK TV Stars of the

your stand to part of the most successful

-

Get ready to be entertained, inspired, in-

tion see www.gmpromotions.es, to book

Business

near Javea in the north Costa Blanca.

and chat with YOU! For more informa-

-

the Denia Marriott Hotel, Jesus Pobre

speakers and experts all on hand to meet

Life

11th April from 10.00 am to 5.00 pm at

meet our celebs and all of our exhibitors,

Motor

and springing into action on the 10th &

the dates in your diary to come along and

today!

-

style Show which is fast approaching

break at the Denia Marriott Hotel.......Put

Life

visit the next Homes Gardens & Life-

be won.... including a luxury weekend spa

-

For more than just an exhibition why not

all the giveaways, goodies, and prizes to

s

Call in and see u

Home

FANCY A FABULOUS DAY OUT?

this is the Show for you! Not to mention

Funeral Insurance you will be amazed at how little it costs to save the stress and expense for your loved ones.

-

style here under the Spanish Sun, then

Business

this Spring.

from 60€ per year!

-

Antony Worrell Thompson to win the title

and we hope to repeat next year. Perhaps

Motor

Cambridge 800 and being compared by

UK. So far so good, everyone is happy

-

Off! cooking competition sponsored by

And to promote Gran Alacant back in the

Life

ing up players from across the league.

-

your votes in our exclusive Costa’s Cook

Home

local talented chefs battle it out to win

town spirit here in Gran Alacant by team-

-

Also we want to generate some home-

Health

tic prizes! Plus watch and learn as our

-

the Selection Box! To win some fantas-

time when the place is usually deserted.

Travel

see two bars in Gran Alacant hoppin’ at a

insurance

Health

cash! and don’t forget to participate in

-

the dull winter months. It was great to

Life

Travel

number of the Safe to win 500.00 euro

-

Have a go at cracking the combination

create a little excitement and fun during

Public Liabiity

Wealth Management and Grant a Wish.

The idea behind this tournament was to

-

The Bake Away! sponsored by Continental

-

novelty cake in the new concept that is

Public Liabiity

leaves.com...... Vote for your favourite

Business

to enter email simon.nathanial@golden-

IT OUT!

-

on display sponsored by Golden Leaves,

Motor

Our Art Competition and Gallery will be

-

to legal, fiscal and financial seminars.

SHOUT

Life

with health, holistic and beauty seminars,

We CAN & WILL better any home and motor renewal on the Costa Blanca

-

Enjoying the Expat LIFE..!

- Funeral

Home

Local news news

Accident

HOME IMPROVEMENT AND HANDYMAN SERVICES IN GRAN ALACANT AND SURROUNDING AREAS NO JOB TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL ALL WORK GUARANTEED CALL US TODAY FOR A FREE QUOTE

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6

MALCOLM PALMER

SARAH'Sgets ‘it’ off his chest...

TEXTILES

In my humble opinion....

are made for you!

MY IMMIGRATION

– and hurt like....well, you know.

I had been on the waiting list about six months when I got a letter inviting me to People ask me how come I decided to move take up the option of going private, to one to Spain, and thinking back those twenty two of the several private hospitals in Alicante. years brings a smile to my face.

I immediately turned it down. (I had been I had bought a tiny holiday home in Santa treated exceptionally well at the General HosFollowing on from very year Sarah’s' Curtain Bedding Pola some five years before, whena all wassuccessful pital when I had eye surgery, and & anyway, well with my marriage, and I was gainfully private medicine is anathema to my socialist Store in CC Los Dolses continues to grow.... not in floor space but in employed. All that changed, when two redunleanings) the excellent of my products available.

With new stock arriving dancies came hurtling down variety on me, and Almost straight away, I was summoned to see then wife and I could no longer live together. the anaesthetist at Alicante General, signed every week you simply cannot beat this friendly and unique family I packed all my worldly goods into an ancient papers, and was sent for a blood test and shop forspecifically choice. for Sarah picks all of the textiles which are on Volvo estaterun I had bought the hand a radiography.

Then came a rather anxious trip, and sallied on a freezing January and wait, lest for I should catch a cold or whatever, sale,forth ensuring best quality value money. morning, with a cheque for seven thousand just as the moment came. quid (all I possessed in the world, apart from But no – all was well, and in I went, on a nipTheinrecent addition of old an bus, extensive range of fabrics means you now my little house Santa Pola and the py Sunday afternoon, to be prepared forhave my a having flogged everything to buy my ex out) op. the next morning.choice of either quality in my pocket.

Big surprise! I had been expecting a generreadymade or bespoke I scrounged a night’s B&B with friends in al anaesthetic, and was more worried about to measure Northern France, and several nights with an how I’d get over thatmade than anything.

But texno, tiles. Anything can be old mate down in the Camargue, then set out what I got was an epidural, then mercifully to voyage into the unknown. screened off so that made, I couldn’t watch,covers, and a cushion I spoke, at that point, very little Spanish, and bit doped up from whatever they’d given me, curtains, bedspreads, had absolutely no idea what I was going to I was fully awake, and listened to the whole loose covers tobanging name do. I was completely lost when I arrived at damned thing. Sawing, hammering, my little house, and even more so next mornand all sorts of fiddling about took place in but a few! Even sheets ing, after an exhausted night’s sleep, realismy sleeping lower half. Then I was wheeled to fit those awkward ing that I had to go out and spend a good out into the ‘reanimation’ room to be, well, sized beds! The team at proportion of my seven grand on making my reanimated.

Sarah’s' also place habitable and WARM - because it was Before long I was back in my shop room,can shared COLD, cold like you could never imagine. So with a guy waiting refurbish for a minor job on his your outdoor off I went and spent money, but then went wrist, and attended by my wife, who slept the seating, swing chairs and and looked up Mark, one of the very few night - or as much of it as she could – on the pergolas can people I knew. And it was no small thanks bedside couch. All dignity is offand when youreplace go due to my friends Mark and Lez that I made into hospital, and thirty years ago, I’d never or repair toldos/awnings some sort of a start, painting balconies and have believed that three pretty nurses could at unbeatable prices so forth, but I also used whatever skills I poswash my willy and........nothing! using the best quality sess as an ornithologist, writing the first of They made me sleep with my legs apart, foam. my four bird books, as well as a column in the and laughed when I fabrics referredand to that as the Costa Blanca News. I started taking groups ‘whore position.’ But they were, all of them, out on birding trips, and earning a pittance absolutely tremendous! To a man, they moan that way too. about the cuts made by Rajoy and his miserThere is currently a fantastic of crowd, and I don’t blame them.

But my great priority was to learn Spanish, endable and learn itseason quickly!sale Untilon, I was Even the food wasn’t half as bad as I had exwithreasonably duvet sets 50% fluent, I knew that job avenues were closed pected, with plenty of variety, and too much off as well as lots of other amazing to me. of it. My only complaint was the length of the bargains!!! Look out for new ranges By the greatest of good fortune I was to meet bed. The nurses told me I was too big! At just coming soon.... bedding, curtains andsix feet (1.86 metres)! What are they my good wife, Juanita, which accelerated my over learning process - her Englishwarmers is pretty well going plenty of winter for when the to do if Marc Gasol goes in? (he measnil - and I then managed to find work in ures 2.16 metres) weather cools down! the insurance business, tiding me over until a And when they sent me home in an ambudecent retirement age. lance, further evidence of the cuts – just one But when I think back again to twenty two poor guy to get me in and out on the stretchyears ago, ISarah’s' realise I must have&been quite Store er, and up the steps into my apartment.

Curtain Bedding mad.

All in all, though, I have to say, if this was a can be found conveniently located sample of the Social Security Health Service, within CC Los Dolses, Urb VillaLET’S HEAR IT FOR it needs all the support you can give it.

THE SOCIALfacing SECURITY! martin, the road next to the

card shop near the canal.

My old hip was steadily getting worse. Every time I tried to move my right leg a few millimetres out of line, it sounded like castanets

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T: 966 848 980

www.sarahstextil.es 7

“Get on yer bike!”

by Gary Routledge www.cyclogicalcostablanca.com

Ride Forever.

What would you rather be doing in your older year’s , riding your Bike or pushing a Zimmer frame?

Cycling on a regular basis keeps you physically and mentally strong. More men and women in their 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond are still participating in races, sportif’s and tours than in any previous era.

Competitive cycling can unlock the door to health and longevity. In 2013 a Danish Scientist came up with a compelling study

8

into the lives of 786 French competitors in

fast cyclists who do up to 60 minutes a

the Tour De France from 1947-2012. He

day.

showed that the cyclists lived, on average , six years longer compared with the gen-

Long rides give strength to your immune

eral male population of the same age and

system, the body becomes more efficient

that for mere mortals to reap similar re-

at defending itself and regenerating new

wards, we have to look to elite level train-

cells. People who do at least 230 minutes of

ing to extend the life of our body cells. We

cycling per week or the exercise equivalent

need to start encouraging people to par-

are 9 years biologically younger than those

ticipate in sports at an even higher level

who don’t. A study of 3,500 people over 8

he said. The 20 year study also found that

years found that those who took up sport

fast cyclists lived up to 5 years longer than

in their 30’s and later still had significantly

those who ride at a regular pace. Speedy

healthier statistics compared to those who

riders were 82% less likely to die from a

hadn’t been near a bike since their school

heart attack, while the risk of premature

paper round. It’s not solely the cardiovas-

death from any cause was 50% lower for

cular boost that you get from hours in the

CYCLING tips

Calle Los Arcos, 7 QUESADA

Mountain Bikes City Bikes Child Seats Tag-a-longs Hybrid Bikes Road Bikes

advice routes

Ladies Bikes Kids Bikes Tandems Kids Trailers BMX Bikes Electric Bikes

Sales, Repairs, Hires, Accessories & Clothing Open Mon-Fri 09.30-17.30 Sat: 10.00-14.00

Call Gary or Lynn: 637 487 377 www.cyclogicalcostablanca.com

years of age and lives in Quesada is still cycling 30-40km per week, he has difficulty getting on and off his cycle due to his age, however he has designed, commissioned and had his own racing bike made with a step through Reynolds 631 aluminium frame.

The bike was built by Kevin

Winter of county Durham and Don has fitted all the parts from his original road bike onto his new trusty steed, it is equipped with a 10 speed Shimano 105 groupset and weighs in at 10kgs.

Don pictured here

with his bike is delighted and is looking forward to riding forever . He is an inspiration

hills that keeps you ticking over for longer.

The development of lean muscle

through endurance cycling also adds to the bodies count of telomeres (an enzyme that forms part of our DNA and slows down the degradation of cells) squeezing the brakes on the ageing process.

t

o

recover from sufficiently to be able to build strength and not wear yourself out. After a long strenuous ride cyclists recover quicker if they emerge their legs in cold water for up to 60 seconds.

You are never too old to start cycling and never too old to stop cycling. One of our

To fuel for a ride you should eat less pro-

to the rest of us fellow cyclists. Well done Don.

Anyone wishing for more informa-

tion on the bicycle please let me know.

Gary and Lynn are available at Cyclogical, in Quesada Monday to Friday from 9.30am – 5.30pm and from 10am -2pm on Saturdays to assist and advise you on all your cycling requirements.

regular customers Don Robinson who is 88

cessed stuff and more fruit and veg, 7 or more servings of fruit and veg per day can cut your chances of premature death from any cause by 42%.

People who eat 3-5

servings of fruit and veg per day reduced early mortality risk by 29% and that each additional

servings

of

vegetables

was

linked to a 16% reduction in premature mortaility.

Learn how to identify what your body is telling you, ignore your body’s needs at your peril.

If you find that you are lacking mo-

tivation, you don’t fancy training or don’t face a ride then you are too tired and need more rest. Do as many miles as you are able

9

Abrimos todos los dias a partir de 18.ooh & los Sabados y Domingos tambien a medio dia We are open every day from 6.00pm and from 12.00pm at weekends

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Eating well.... with

Winners

2012

Best Newcomer

Cooking with Gordon

Restaurants

2013

My recipe today is a tasty

Food is our passion, service is our pleasure.

Two Different Styles, Same Great Quality & Service In our restaurants we are seeing an increasing number of people with allergies and special eating requirements especially diabetes. Eating for long term health is an important part of daily life for all of us, especially for people with diabetes.

There is a lot of confusing information on sugar intake and blood glucose control, but whether you have diabetes or not it is a good idea to limit your intake. It is not essential to exclude sugar altogether but it should be limited to about 25g per day and this should be part of your food and not sprinkled on top.

If sugar is included as part of a balanced diet glucose levels can be controlled quite easily.

The recommended balance is approx. 45 to 60 percent starchy carbohydrates, at least 5 portions of vegetables and fruit, 10 percent protein, and less than 35 percent of fat of which a high proportion of monounsaturated is best..

It is also best to limit the intake of salt to less than 6g.

Fibre is essential and helpful for controlling glucose levels. In fact soluble fibre such as in oats helps to lower blood cholesterol and slows down the digestion of food.

We should also not forget that exercise is also very beneficial.

The balance we are aiming for is that food in equals the energy that we use. If food in is greater we put weight on.

Whilst trying to achieve this balance we do not have to eat boring food it can still be interesting but can take a little thought.

13

Filo Fish Pies

Best Fine Dining

&

No.

change and simple to make.

You will need: 400g trimmed spinach 1 Egg lightly beaten 2 crushed garlic cloves 450g white fish fillet Juice of 1 lemon Olive oil 8 to 12 sheets of filo pastry cut into quarters 200ml low fat crème fraiche Fresh dill 1 tbsp of chopped fresh chives Salt and pepper

fridge until needed Coat the ribs liberally with the BBQ sauce and put in a 180 deg oven until the sauce is bubbling and starting to thicken.

Ribs go with almost everything , a mixed salad, chips ,spicy wedges, rice ,cous cous.

Preheat oven to 190deg wash the spinach and cook in a lidded pan with just the water that is clinging to the leaves. When wilted drain and squeeze as much of the water out as possible and chop.

Put the spinach in a bowl add the egg and garlic, season with salt and pepper. Cut the fish into small pieces and put into a bowl stir in the lemon juice and toss lightly Brush the inside of 6 tartlet tins or muffin pans with a little olive oil. Fit a piece of filo into the tin so that it hangs over the sides.

Brush with a little olive oil then add another sheet of filo at right angles to the other.

Repeat this 4 or 5 times each time putting the sheet at a different angle.

Spread the spinach evenly over the pastry, add the fish. Stir the chives into the crème fraiche and spread over the fish and sprinkle the dill over.

Draw the overhanging pieces of the pastry together and scrunch lightly to form a lid brush lightly with oil and bake for about 15 to 20 minutes until golden brown.

Energy 233 kcal. Protein 18.4g.carbohydrate 0.1g of which sugars 2.2g. Fat 14g.of which saturates 8.2g, Cholesterol 84mg.Calcium

info@vestryrestaurant.com www.vestryrestaurant.com

179mg.Fibre 1.7g. Sodium 213mg

11

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MANDY’S

Spanish Diary

by Mandy Tams

POORLY BAD. Oh woe were we on our last visit to GA. We managed to contract some plague from the plane full of sick people, but this did raise the question: What do we do if we need a doctor…?

Now every sensible person reading this (is that an oxymoron) will shout insurance. Ring them, that’s what you pay them for.

It’s amazing though how many people holidaying have not taken out insurance, not thinking about it because they are not with a holiday company.

We have received many a frantic phone call asking us what to do and how to get home to handle an emergency or sudden illness. I know these things, having reached the age where most conversations tend to dwell on the joys of getting old and the complications life throws at us like coconuts flung at the shy.

I did holiday further a field once and needed medical attention. We were young, inexperienced and not sure what to do. We asked at reception to no avail; having broken a French nail her concentration focused solely on her emergency. Our fortune changed with the arrival of a doctor booking in. She organised a hospital to await our arrival and I spent the next few days worrying about the illness and the costs involved not realising our first port of call should have been the insurance company. Our fears proved unfounded that time, the bill arrived at a massive £14 lol (for those over 50 it means Laugh Out Loud and NOT Lots of Love) Listing everything for my care including the food, daily tested by birds flying and hopping over the meals lined up each morning, an experience in itself, never mind the curtains. You remember those mobile ones on wheels! For some reason unbeknownst to us, sweaty porters pushed open great glass doors at precisely the same time as the nurses wheeled the curtains round the beds for privacy. As the doors swung back, the wind caught them, skudding them wind surfing fashion down the ward only to crash into the wall leaving patients displayed in various states of undress or worse.

In Europe we have the EHIC card, a wonderful piece of plastic. It not only opens the door when we manage to lock ourselves out, but contrary to reports on TV saying how it is not accepted in some Spanish hospitals we found this is untrue in GA. Not only have the clinic proved exceptional when I flash my little card, but the hospital also. I only had one scary moment and that was when the doctor would not allow me to fly home without injections at the airport. Now, I am brave and quite used to many of these little pricks, and others that can be described as such, but I am not yet brave enough to inject myself. I had choices of: Husband; a man who may change his mind half way through and possibly faint, eldest son at 6’ 2”, who will faint looking at the box, or my 6’ foot 4” baby son, the boy who emptied the freezer after “friends” switched it off for two weeks. The contents of which then

mutated into alien life forms with a smell that kept my home town windows locked for weeks.

He stepped in then burying it all in the garden and once again he stepped up volunteering, ‘I’ll do it mum.’

All was going to plan; we arrived at the airport with our syringes and instructions from my nurse at home on the mobile.

The gate is called, we know this gate can change a few times before finally settling on a number, but this time it meant it’s time for the jabs, and this is where the act could look controversial. Where were we going to do it? Not the waiting lounge; it’s a trouser down jab. Not in the ladies or gents and there isn’t a family one. The obvious choice is the disabled toilet.

My son and I set off trying to look inconspicuous. The door is locked; the toilet in use, we wait innocently. The door opens and out steps an able-bodied man still stubbing out his cigarette; he gives us a strange look as we slip into the loo together.

Job done injections given, we ponder on leaving separately or together, not sure how people will react. The choice is taken from us as the door begins to rattle violently, muttering voices reach us; someone needs the facility.

Feeling brave; we are after all above suspicion. I open the door to find the first queue I have ever seen outside a disabled toilet. Two wheelchairs, a woman itching to light a cigarette, a man looking suspiciously like the one who hogged the cubicle before, and now looking somehow hopeful, a woman with a screaming child and a security guard. Was he waiting for us or did he want a fag? His eyes swept over me and then my son, a look of; was it admiration for my son or pity? I couldn’t work it out.

I whispered, ‘head up and look normal.’ We manoeuvre our way out feeling like Moses at the parting of the Red Sea as they fan away from us. We ignore the odd looks, the odd muttered Spanish phrase, and then the comforting English one; ‘Bloody hell poor lad, can’t he do better than that?’

All was well, the flight called and we make a red-faced escape.

This does not mean one should not get insured because repatriation is very important with high costs for the unfortunate.

A bit of Yorkshire Humour for you adapted by my friend Harry.

A Pastor restoring a picture frame needed to replace some gold leaf, upon asking the girl at the Hardware shop.

“Do you have any gilt?”

She replied “Sometimes it’s overpowering” © Harry J Horsman

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16

In my humble opinion....

RECOVERY? YEAH, RIGHT!

MALCOLM PALMER

gets ‘it’ off his chest...

your purchases) The birthrate is dropping

are crossed.

as young families can’t make ends meet, so the population gets older and older.

Juani had bad luck when a gas bottle fell

Look, this isn’t really meant to be politi-

Where do all those pensions come from?

and fractured a toe – question of patience,

cal – it goes deeper than that. I’ll put my

OK, I reckon I have the answer. Put my

they say!

cards on the table, though – my beliefs,

head in the oven. Oh s*&t, it’s electric!

The, just before Christmas, I got the call

such as they are, tend to the left. Having

to have my hip replaced. Now officially ‘bi-

got that out of the way, let’s have a look

onic’ I am hobbling around on crutches.

at where Spain is headed – and this may

On the sporting front, Real Madrid has af-

well apply to a few other countries in the

OUR YEAR 2014

world too.

to do so – I only wish Donny Rovers could

Our beloved President (and can you trust someone whose beard is white, and his

forded me much pleasure, and continue have just a smidgin of their talent! But

It’s been the first year in ages I haven’t

‘barnet’ jet black?) delights in telling an-

travelled abroad, as my wrecked hip re-

yone who hasn’t switched over to the

stricted mobility more and more. Juani’s

Simpsons that the nation is well on the

health has also been a bit ‘up and down’

road to healthy recovery.

with continuing problems resulting from

you can’t have everything.

AHE DUCHESS OF ALBA

taking Sintrom (Warfarin in English, I Well, Sr. Rajoy, let me tell you, I went to

think)

school, albeit a long time ago, and 25%

The recent and much-mourned death of

unemployment might be better than 26%,

But we did manage a three night trip to

the Duchess of Alba, at the age of 88, may

but it’s a long way from the 4 point some-

Andújar (the Lynx was obviously una-

have left some of our readers a little puz-

thing that Frau Merkel’s lot are enjoying.

ware!)

zled as to her actual identity, as her name

Our leader also tells us that the contracts

Then I had a lovely visit from an all-too-

sounds British, to at least some extent,

being signed by the newly employed are

small group of our English/German ex-

Cayetana

good ones. Er...no, they are certainly not.

change group staying in Santa Pola – a

would, indeed, have had a realistic claim

A survey reveals that 92% of them are

relaxed time to eat and drink and even do

to the throne had Scotland voted for in-

temporary jobs. I did one of those in my

a few visits!

dependence.

college holidays, delivering mail!

In September I took a group to the Ebro

So what does the left have to offer? A

Delta, where the birds were great, but the

I am no royalist, but had a great respect

lot of bickering, for a start, and so many

kilometres many! We actually managed

for the Bohemian Duchess, who would be

odds and ends of parties that the ruling PP

to find 2 White-rumped Sandpipers – a

seen wearing a bikini well into her eight-

mob, beset by corruption, can hang on to

species for which I made the first Spanish

ies, always supported by her third hus-

power despite having about a quarter of

sighting ever, in 1975, with John Walms-

band, Alfonso Diez, 27 years her junior.

the voters behind them.

ley, and hadn’t seen since. The Costa

In terms of noble protocol, she outranked

Blanca Bird Club, wth gentle president

the Queen of England, having some 47

The new lot, ‘Podemos’ (‘We can’) prob-

Barry Chambers and hard-working Fran,

titles, and incalculable riches, including

ably can’t at all. Their boss, Pablo Igle-

Pete and Stephan (amongst others) gives

9 castles, palaces all over Spain, works

sias, is a scrawny looking university type

me much pleasure.

of art by Rembrandt, Goya, Picasso and

you could hardly see running a kids’ play-

Fitz-James-Stuart.

And

she

Titian, original manuscripts by Columbus,

ground. The best liked politician, accord-

The girls have been a worry much of the

you name it. But her lifestyle was hectic.

ing to surveys, is Rosa Diez, of the UpyD

year, with Johanna unable to find steady

A lover of football, bullfighting, skiing, fla-

– she really doesn’t have a party. The only

employment, despite her qualifications,

menco, she gave huge amounts of cash to

credible opposition is the PSOE, or social-

but in one of temporary jobs, she signed

charity, and was particularly loved by the

ist party, trying hard, under the quite im-

us up for ‘Medicinas Sin Fronteras’ of

gypsy community of Sevilla. She spoke

pressive Pedro Sanchez, to recover from a

which I greatly approve. She seems to

five languages, called the Queen of Eng-

few years of weak non-leadership.

have at least settled a bit with Dave – for

land ‘Lizzy’ and was one of the most popu-

So what of the future? Doesn’t look too

now, anyway! Laly’s business is at rock

lar figures in Spain, always dressing in the

bright, frankly. Rajoy (again) says that

bottom, and she is about to get yet an-

brightest colours, and holidaying in the

construction is back on the move. Why,

other bank loan to move to a salon in San

most far-off places. She leaves six grown-

when there are so many unoccupied

Vicente – which holds out a bit of hope. A

up children, all by her first marriage. The

apartments? The rest of industry has a

long way away, Vicky too has had employ-

eldest now becomes the Duke of Alba.

hard time competing with cheap products

ment troubles, but seems to have settled

from the far east. (Check the labels on

down as a College Librarian – my fingers

17

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Finally I do hope people are not put off by your article because

FEELING TENSE....

during my time here I have had to spend time in hospital where

Reader Bob is not happy about an article in last month’s issue concerning grammar - so here he gets his turn to sort our editor out!

no one spoke English and was grateful for what little Spanish I had but my proudest moment was my last time in hospital when the doctors and nurses were introduced to me they said "Esto es Roberto, habla español"

Hi Dave, now I couldn´t give a toss about your uncle Jack (pun intended), but you are doing a disservice and maybe persuading people that classes are not worthwhile. Well this may be ok if you just like your 2 year old and only ask for a caña, but like your 5 year old you have to go to classes if you want to progress. Like English - I went, am going, will go. would go, would have gone- you cannot learn these from the street especially in Gran Alacant as well there are people like me who go to have conversations in Spanish with Russian, Polish, Dutch, Norwegian, Swiss, Belgians (this is the actual make up of my present class) and can tell you things about themselves and their own countries because you all speak Spanish.

As for the subjunctive tense well this is just the same as English. When your uncle Jack says "If I were you.........I would go" he is using the subjunctive " If I were you (subjunctive)........I would go (conditional)" even if he was Scottish and said "If I wis you hen ....I wid go".

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Avda. Escandinavia 2

GRAN ALACANT - Tel. 966 695 139 Or 627 899 586

Open: Tuesday to Sunday 4pm-12am & Thursday 1.30pm-4pm MENU DEL DIA - 12.50â‚Ź

Inc. Salad Buffet, Starter, Main, Dessert & Coffee

Menu Especial de Primavera Lomo de bacaloa cn bacon, verduras en julianas, salsa de mariscos y eneldo.

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