GARBOLOGY DUNDEE - An Illustrated Guide by Area

CONTENT Introduction ……………………………………. 1 Riverside Walk …………………………………. 4 University of Dundee Campus ………………… 8 City Centre .…………………………………… 12

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INTRODUCTION

GARBOLOGY DUNDEE — AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE BY AREA

INTRODUCTION What is this Guide about and what will it be used for? — Garbology, next to its more well known cousin biology, is a widely unexplored subject. The kingdom of Quisquiliae, or garbage in the common mouth, is a kingdom unrelated to the plant or animal kingdom, to which we Homo Sapiens sapiens count ourselves, but this does not make it less fascinating to study, if not even more intriguing, since the exploring and uncovering of facts is yet to be done. While biology, in simple terms, studies living organisms and their interactions with one another and the environment, garbology takes a look at the discarded, the unwanted, the things that are no longer worthy of interaction and have no place in the ideal human environment.

That is why this first edition of GARBOLOGY DUNDEE — AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE BY AREA is going to be observing, analysing and hypothesising about garbage. This will be done in the city of Dundee, Scotland and approached by area, in order to study the clustering of different species of garbage in relation to nesting areas, human influence and any other affecting variables.

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GARBOLOGY DUNDEE — AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE BY AREA

How can Garbage be classified? — The classification of garbage is no different to the classification of animals. Following is a guide to this classification system, based on the example of a Quisquiliae Auferat Potus Poculum Capulus costa, more well known by its common name Costa Coffee Cup. Taxonomic group Kingdom

Scientific Term Quisquiliae

Translation Garbage

Class

Auferat

Take-Away

Order

Potus

Family

Poculum

Cup

Genus

Capulus

Coffee

Species

costa

Costa

Drink

Which Areas of Dundee will be studied in this Guide? — Areas of Dundee can clearly be differentiated by the garbage that tends to gather there. This guide will be closely observing three of those areas; the RIVERSIDE WALK (A), the UNIVERSITY OF DUNDEE CAMPUS (B) and the CITY CENTRE (C).

A. Riverside Walk - The paved walk along the RIVER TAY is a popular place for humans to go for a walk or walk their dogs. But Homo Sapiens sapiens and Canis Lupus familiaris aren’t the only species to take advantage of the location. The stretch is also very popular among Quisquiliae species and several nesting points make it a hotspot especially for species of the class Auferat (Take-Away).

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INTRODUCTION

(C)

(B)

(A)

B. University of Dundee Campus - The campus of the University of Dundee creates an interesting phenomena when it comes to garbage. On first glance it appears as if there is no garbage there, due to humankinds attempts to exterminate it. However, some species have found a way to persist, finding places to prevail in hiding.

A kind of garbage especially attracted to this environment is the suborder Potus Vocatus, or Alcoholic Drinks, which seem to seek the proximity of numerous adolescent Homo Sapiens sapiens.

C. City Centre - The commercial centre of Dundee shows a clear pattern of the main pedestrian areas being inhabited by smaller species of garbage, while the backstreets are areas in which big species are left to roam freely and unsupervised.

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GARBOLOGY DUNDEE — AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE BY AREA

(C)

RIVERSIDE WALK (B)

(A)

HOTSPOTS A. Bridgeview Station - A popular nesting point for a multitude of species of Quisquiliae kingdom, especially of the Auferat class B. Costa - Nesting Point of the Quisquiliae Auferat Potus Capulus Poculum costa (5) C. Heather Street Food - Nesting Point of the Quisquiliae Auferat Potus Capulus Poculum heather and Quisquiliae Auferat Cibus Patella heather Due to the frequency of nesting points of garbage, mostly of the Auferat order, the RIVERSIDE WALK has proven to be an extraordinary location for litter enthusiasts and watchers. The Auferat tend to appear most frequently around their separate nesting areas, however can frequently be observed along the entire stretch of the RIVERSIDE WALK, and even seem to be unbothered by the proximity of the dwellings of opposing species.

The neighbouring RIVERSIDE PITCHES are home to a variety of species that frequently happen to find their way to the RIVERSIDE WALK. Many species of Ampulla Plastica, the plastic bottle (1) and Pera Plastica, the plastic bag (2) are examples of this.

The proximity to the RIVER TAY has lead to some individual Quisquiliae of the RIVERSIDE WALK to take to living in the water.

This occurrence is infrequent but not uncommon. The garbage is able to adjust to the change in habitat easily, regardless of order, family, or species.

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RIVERSIDE WALK

(1)

(2)

(3)

(4)

(5)

(7) (6)

PLATE I - RIVERSIDE WALK (1) Ampulla Plastica — Plastic Bottle (2) Pera Plastica — Plastic Bag (3) Larva — Mask (4) Auferat Cibus Patella — Take-away Plate (5) Auferat Potus Capulus Costa — Costa Cup (6) Paleas — Straw (7) Auferat Cibus Arca — Take-away Box

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GARBOLOGY DUNDEE — AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE BY AREA

THE CLASS AUFERAT - TAKE-AWAY Auferat is a class of Quisquiliae which is found all around the world. Specimen of this class are well known to have distinct nesting areas in which they grow up, but as soon as they leave it, never return to.

Oftentimes they find a home in the immediate surrounding area of their home habitat, but they are also well known to make their way to places very far away from it. The environment which they choose to dwell in can range widely, from humanmade houses, the side of the road, the ground of automatic vehicles, bushes, alleyways and even bodies of water.

IMAGE II An undefined species of Quisquiliae Auferat Cibus Patella Acetaria

IMAGE I A n u n d e fi n e d s p e c i e s o f Quisquiliae Auferat Cibus Arca Seres

THE ORDERS CIBUS AND POTUS - FOOD AND DRINK The class Auferat is divided into two orders, Cibus and Potus, Food and Drink. Cibus tend to be of a larger size and wider in capacity, while Potus are usually taller and of a lesser perimeter. While families and species of the order Cibus can look quite similar, they still occur in a variety of different shapes, colours and sizes. Potus

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RIVERSIDE WALK

IMAGE III Examples of multiple species of Quisquiliae Auferat Potus Poculum Capulus

however are largely of the same appearance, only slightly differing in height and width. This is due to convergent evolution, since the specimen had to evolve to serve a similar function. Different species can be recognised by the unique patterns on their body.

Lid — The top most organ of the average Quisquiliae Auferat Potus Poculum Capulus is called the LID and is necessary to keep the insides in the main body.

Body — The main body is of a cylindric shape. Its skin conserves the heat of the inside.

Sleeve — Some specimen of Potus Capulus will develop a sort of second skin. This serves no obvious benefit to the specimen, so experts assume that its purpose is to protect others rather than itself.

Insides — The inside fluid of a Potus Capulus is what determines its life span. Its proximity to death can be established by the amount and lack of heat.

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GARBOLOGY DUNDEE — AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE BY AREA

UNIVERSITY OF DUNDEE CAMPUS

(B2) (A)

(B1)

HOTSPOTS A. Belmont Flats - Many Species of Quisquiliae like to gather around the habitat of adolescent Homo Sapiens sapiens B. Green-spaces - The short cut grass and active human hunting of garbage makes it hard for species to survive in this habitat, yet some smaller species persevere and even larger ones prevail at the edges and in the shadow of bushes.

Though survival in Homo Sapiens dominated areas like this is a struggle, many species still manage to find a way. The reason for the risk is that majority of these species strive off of humans and are ultimately bad for them. This includes species of the class Auferat which we have looked at before, but mainly species of the suborder Potus Vocatus — Alcoholic Drinks.

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UNIVERSITY OF DUNDEE CAMPUS

(9)

(8)

(10)

(11)

(12)

(13)

(14) (15)

PLATE II - UNIVERSITY OF DUNDEE CAMPUS (8) Poculum Plastica — Plastic Cup (9) Pera Papyrus — Paper Bag (10) Cervesiam corona — Corona Bottle (11) Arca Fumus — Cigarette Box (12) Hirnea Cervisiam tennents — Tennents Can (13) Ampulla Plastica Mundus — Hand Sanitiser (14) Lid of Ampulla Speculo Vinum — Wine Bottle (15) Pera Plastica Parvus — Small Bag

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GARBOLOGY DUNDEE — AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE BY AREA

THE SUBORDER POTUS VOCATUS - ALCOHOLIC DRINKS Specimen of the suborder Potus Vocatus come in a variety of different forms, but the most common one is the bottle (Ampulla), examples of which are depicted to the right.

Nesting — Bottles, specifically those of the genus Ampulla Cervisiam (Beer Bottles) stem from nests of even numbers; four, six, ten, twelve, and even sometimes 18 or 20.

The reasoning for the numbers having to be even

IMAGE IV A nest of twelve Quisquiliae Potus Vocatus Ampulla Speculo Cervisiam sanmiguel IMAGE V A nest of six Quisquiliae Potus Vocatus Ampulla Speculo Cervisiam heineken

speculated to be balance, for these specimen are very fragile and any fall could be fatal for the entire nest.

Aside from the genus Ampulla Cervisiam, most bottles don’t stem from nests such as these, however many cans (Potus Vocatus Hirnea Cervisiam) do as well.

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RIVERSIDE WALK

IMAGE VI A specimen of Quisquiliae Potus Vocatus Ampulla Speculo Cervisiam Carlsberg and detail of lid A specimen of Quisquiliae Potus Vocatus Hirnea Suci Koppaberg and detail of lid A specimen of Quisquiliae Potus Vocatus Ampulla Speculo vinum and detail of cork A specimen of Quisquiliae Potus Vocatus Ampulla Speculo Vodka Smirnoff A specimen of Quisquiliae Potus Vocatus Ampulla Speculo Tequila Sierra

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GARBOLOGY DUNDEE — AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE BY AREA

CITY CENTRE (C)

(B)

(A)

HOTSPOTS A. Lidl - Nesting places like these are the source of many Acceptums (Receipts) (25), though there are smaller nests throughout the entire commercial area B. Highstreet, Muraysgate (Pedestrian Zone) - In this area many social Quisquiliae find a home, such as Cupholders (22) or Paper Bags (23) C. Backstreets - The streets behind the commercial area make a home for bigger, more obvious species of Quisquiliae, due to the absence of the everyday shopper. They especially gather around backdoors of restaurants and shops and the owners tend to tolerate them as long as they stay on the backside.

The lack of interest in the backstreets also amounts to carcasses of Quisquiliae accumulating and remaining untended for long periods of time, such as (19), (16) and (21).

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CITY CENTRE

(17)

(16) (18) (19)

(21) (20)

(22)

(23)

(24)

(25)

PLATE III - CITY CENTRE (16) Supellectilem Mensa — Outdoor Table (17) Arca Papyrus — Box (18) Palette — Palette (19) Carcass of Conus — Cone (20) Pera Plastica — Bin Bag (21) Carcass of Habebat Vehentem — Bicycle (22) Auferat Poculum Possessor — Cup Holder (23) Pera Papyrus greggs — Greggs Bag (24) Lid of Poculum Capulus — Coffee Cup (35) Acceptum — Receipt