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“Is it really possible to spend all your life without forming a truly genuine connection with another person? The kind of connection when you know instantly what that other person is thinking at any given moment where that horrible, serious golf between you is permanently bridged. The desolution of the subject, object connection. Tao Lin (Taipei, 2013)
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The Art of Human Connection Ivan Cash TEDxCulverCity 2018
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Learnings:
What is a connection? How are people relating, what are they talking about? What is this pop culture?
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People are capable of so much more than “share”, “like” and “tweet” they just need to be empowered.
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We as humans yearn to be seen, heard, felt, and connected with which motivates all our actions.
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A “stranger” is really just someone we haven’t connected with yet.
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Connection is not even a choice, it’s all we have left to find the unity and that could be as simple as a smile to someone or eye contact, it could be a random compliment.
Interactive artist Ivan Cash’s collaborative projects bring strangers together in unexpected ways. From transforming 30,000 emails into handwritten letters (Snail Mail My Email) to inspiring strangers around the world to reveal candid moments from their phone (Last Photo Project), Ivan’s work reminds us it’s more important than ever to cultivate simple, yet profound moments of connection which are always available to us, and invites us to explore connection in a more tangible and meaningful way. Ivan Cash is an award-winning interactive artist and film director who believes in the power of human connection. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIC1jqlXIbg
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SnailMail Snail Mail My Email is a community art project where volunteers transform strangers’ emails into handwritten letters, free of charge. 2,000 volunteers have artistically interpreted and collectively sent 29,249 letters to 80 countries since the project began in 2011. http://www.ivan.cash/snail-mail-my-email
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These simple and profound moments of connection are actually always available to us.
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Everything’s a medium for human connection and any attempt for a connection inherently involves risk. The Passenger Project
http://www.ivan.cash/the-passenger-project
The Passenger Project is a social experiment designed to bring more curiosity and connected-ness to the flying experience. (Each page is created by passengers aboard the same flight.)
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The Last Photo Project The ‘Last Photo’ Project is a video series where artist / filmmaker Ivan Cash asks strangers across a given city to share the last photo on their phone and the backstory. The project has become a viral sensation, received international recognition, two Vimeo Staff Picks, over 1M collective views, and inspired offshoots across the world. http://www.ivan.cash/last-photo-project
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The ordinary is truly extraordinary.
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Selfless Portraits Selfless Portraits is a collaborative art project where strangers across the world draw each other’s Facebook profile pics.
In our increasingly divided and digital world, human connection is more important than ever. http://www.ivan.cash/selfless-portraits
Over 50,000 drawings were submitted from 153 countries during the project’s 3-year span.
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The Benefits of Reading Jakub Ferencik 2018
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2. The Conversations You Have Become Better & More Interesting People that read are respected, because of their speech.
“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” — Dr. Seuss Personal reasons:
1. It Lets You Read Other People’s Thoughts One of the greatest joys of reading is that we can literally become another person whom we have never met, possibly admire, for an extended amount of time.
When we read, we are reading the thoughts of other people. I find that to be one of the true wonders of reading.
They are intriguing, educated, skeptical, and focused. When they talk, people quiet down, because they know that someone who has taken the time to practice the skill of knowledge, will be better at expressing the truth.
3. The Only Goal of An Education is to be Well-Read
You need to read in order to be challenged. Educate yourself so that you can challenge preconceived notions. One of the best ways to do that is to read the most you can and to be sincerely interested.
The benefits to reading:
1. Reading Prevents Memory Loss A study which included almost 300 participants who died at an average age of 89 discovered that those that were engaging in mental activities such as reading experienced slower memory decline than those patients that did not read.
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The rate of decline with those that did not train their minds was 48% faster than those who did. (http://www.neurology.org/content/81/4/314)
2. Reading Prevents Depression Another study from the PLOS journal showed that self-help books can help prevent depression. Since depression causes hopelessness people stop believing in the capability of change, self-help books boost the parts of the brain that are associated with happiness, rather focusing on that which is ahead and your ambitions. (http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/ journal.pone.0052735)
3. Reading Relaxes You At the University of Sussex a study reported that reading can relax you more than listening to your favorite tunes, going for a walk, or even enjoying a cup of coffee/tea. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/ news/5070874/Reading-can-help-reduce-stress.html)
4. Reading Builds a Critical Mind The more you read the more information you add into your brain. This information proves helpful in dire circumstances when you need to make last minute decisions, or decide between the lesser of two evils for president.
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5. Reading is a Literal Workout For the Brain Unlike watching TV or listening to the radio, reading stimulates your brain to be able to focus on tasks better. That is what you are training your mind to do the more you read, because the mind is forced to focus again & again from page to page on new information.
Reading spurs your brain to think and concentrate. https://writingcooperative.com/the-benefits-ofreading-everyday-why-im-reading-100-books-this-yearf9c292350222
The Human Connection Movement Igor Kreyman 2016
The Human Connection Movement is an innovative social enterprise that is bridging new ways to transform society through facilitating transformational experiences that connect humanity.
loneliness which contain a range of poor mental, physical and socioeconomic outcomes, including low self-esteem, suicide, depression, heart disease and poor physical health.
It’s been holding eye-gazing events globally with the purpose of removing barriers between people and raising the awareness of the benefits of faceto-face communication during an era of rapid technological advancement.
The movement has organized and facilitated over 150 events globally over the last 2 years, with tens of thousands of participant’s in attendance, creating experiences with a team of 60 other volunteers to create safe containers for people to experience meaningful quality connection, belonging, community and the chance to be fully seen heard and valued.
Removing barriers between people and raising the awareness of the benefits of faceto-face communication.
https://www.thehumanconnectionmovement.org.au
Whilst we are living in the most digitally connected time in our history, we are more socially disconnected then ever and he is steering the movement to tackle the variables associated with
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The Reading Bridge Chryston High School Lee-Anne Connor 2017
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This project is most definitely raising the pupil’s attainment as it is giving them the opportunity to further develop the literacy skills that they will need to succeed in high school and beyond.
The Reading Bridge is a project which works with primary 7 pupils who have been identified by their schools as either having a below average reading age or a lower level of comprehension. This project is encouraging reading for pleasure and using it as a way of raising pupil’s attainment in relation to literacy across the curriculum. The aim is to have the pupil’s start first year as confident young people who enjoy reading and have the literacy skills necessary to access all subjects across the curriculum.
This project is encouraging reading for pleasure.
An opportunity to further develop their literacy skills . By encouraging the pupils to read for pleasure this project is helping; build their confidence, develop their vocabulary, widen their horizons, promote discussion and communication through talking about what is happening in the books they are reading, this in turn is helping the pupils to empathise and start to understand more about relationships and the world we live in. https://www.cilips.org.uk/advocacy-campaigns/ campaigns/libraries-matter/case-studies/case-studyreading-bridge-chryston-high-school/
Parents are also involved to help them support and encourage their child to read at home. They are also being invited up to the high school to take part in some practical lessons alongside their child. This will help parents to understand the different literacy expectation in different subjects and enable them to discuss their child’s learning at home with them.
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The Intimacy Project: Where has the human connection gone? Michele Chu TEDxSOAS 2016
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“What is and isn’t intimacy?” “What blocks intimacy?” “What brings people together?”
Social experiments 1. Eye contact
‘’Human connection is what we live on; it’s the core of our existence. Many of today’s problems, whether they are political, social or cultural, all stem from a lack of connection.’’ This project was a series of interventions making people connect to each other or the designer herself. It did receive negative responses such as people ignoring her, but mostly her interventions were positively received and appreciated. She created connections with strangers and made them smile with simple things. Every day we pass by countless strangers whether it’s a barista handing you coffee in the morning or the woman behind the till at a supermarket. When do we pause and think about their stories behind their appearance or behind their job title? When do we stop and make a connection?
Studies show that 4 minutes of eye contact can bring people together. She sat down on a yoga mat in a middle of a public square and invited strangers to share 1 minute of eye contact with her. At first it was awkward and uncomfortable but as it went on she noticed that their body languages mirrored each other, their breathings were in sync and any assumptions or stereotypes about people were forgotten seeing each other’s truly self as human beings.
Eye contact can transcend boundaries; it can transcend labels that society slaps on us. What if we put two people of polar opposites in the same room together? What would happen?
2. Mistletoe experiment she went up to different people; couples, mother and child or just friends to see if they would kiss or not. Some people ignored me but for those who kissed, it was a magical moment
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because this mistletoe gave them a permission to share this intimate moment of connection together and really forced them to be in the present moment.
3. Cue Card experiment She started with putting interactive action cue cards onto strangers’ backs to see if the people around them would react but it didn’t really work because people were not taking it seriously. This evolved into her going up to different cafes with glass windows and holding the action cue cards against them to see if people inside the cafe would react to her. This turned into success but the crucial factor was the glass in between which was like a barrier to uncomfortable social distance. One crucial finding to the equation to intimacy is vulnerability.
When we put ourselves out there in our most uncomfortable and raw state and when people reciprocate our vulnerability, that’s when the magic happens. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf7oxiroxps
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A Greater You: Living a Connected Life Trinda Latherow 2016
A Greater You: Living a Connected Life is a collection of stories and inspirational writings recognizing our vital connections to self, others, and a greater power and presence.
Discover a greater you by living a more mindful or connected life, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Come into a deeper sense of personal peace by first recognizing the true nature of your being, connection to everyone and everything, and greater power and presence within. A greater you is indeed possible, if you but first connect to all that assures you of your true self, the real heart and soul of others, and your divine ancestry. Simply make those all-important connections that lead to living your best life yet! https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24432725-agreater-you?ac=1&from_search=true
Nurture and maintain the body sacred. Develop a divine mind. Listen from the heart. Meet your higher self or spirit within. Make a connection with others like never before. Form a real and practical relationship with your spiritual support system or divine connections.
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How to Have a Good Conversation Celeste Headlee TEDxCreativeCoast 2015
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Here are her 10 rules to having a better conversation. 1. Listen For starters, stop talking. Conversing, networking and building rapport is at the core of both business and life success: being able to converse freely, confidently and, in most cases, briefly, signals to those around you that you’re clever, in control and selfassured. And, most importantly, that you care about other people.
We’re losing our ability to converse face-to-face and that opens a whole other can of worms for modern conversation. Writer and radio host Celeste Headlee argues that due to the increasing use of ‘within reach’ technology, we’re losing our ability to converse face-toface and that opens a whole other can of worms for modern conversation. We often use conversation as a platform for our own thoughts and feelings, rather than a place of discussion and understanding.
The most fundamental concept of all good conversations (and life in general) is the ability to listen. It’s the hardest thing to do but it’s the most important. “When I’m talking, I’m in control. I don’t have to hear anything I’m not interested in. I’m the centre of attention. I can bolster my own identity,” Celeste says of our obsession with talking instead of listening. “Buddha said, and I’m paraphrasing, ‘If your mouth is open, you’re not learning.’” You are listening to understand, not just reply, and it’s something that’s often, but should never be forgotten.
2. Don’t multitask We all know that doing something else, anything else, while someone is trying to have a conversation with us can be infuriating: think of how you feel when someone is scrolling mindlessly while you try and tell them about your day. But Celeste says it’s more than just giving them your attention. “Be present. Be in that moment,” Celeste explains. “Don’t think about your argument you had with your boss. Don’t think about what you’re going
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to have for dinner. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation but don’t be half in it and half out of it.”
3. Don’t pontificate A classic mistake that anyone on the receiving end despises. Does anyone want to be preached to without the possibility of coming to a healthy midpoint of ideas?
You’re not having a conversation if you’re just talking at someone. “If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog,” Celeste agrees. “You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn… sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion.”
4. Use open-ended questions “If you put in a complicated question, you’re going to get a simple answer out,” Celeste explains. “Let them describe it. They’re the ones that know. Try asking them things like, ‘What was that like?’ ‘How did that feel?’ Because then they might have to stop for a moment and think about it, and you’re going to get a much more interesting response.”
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5. Go with the flow Almost everyone is guilty of this speaking sin: someone will be talking, you’ll come up with a great idea or story and interject or, in some cases, wait impatiently until the person finishes the sentence and jump in. “We’re sitting there having a conversation with someone, and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop. And we stop listening,” she says. “Thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind.” Interjection is fine – if it helps reinforce a point for the person talking, if it’s short and it doesn’t derail the thought process of the speaker but don’t forget to give someone else the space to tell a story. That’s called listening.
6. If you don’t know, say you don’t know There’s nothing worse than being caught out in a lie and admitting that you don’t know something doesn’t make you look dumb – it makes you look honest. As the old adage goes, honesty is always the best policy
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8. “Try not to repeat yourself” Put simply: it’s boring. And it makes your listener feels as though you’re self-centred enough to forget that you’ve told them before. Many times.
and it should always be that way for conversations. “Err on the side of caution,” says Celeste. “Talk should not be cheap.”
7. Don’t equate your experience with theirs
We may have gone through similar things to our colleagues or friends but as different as we are as people, that’s how different things can affect us. “If they’re talking about the trouble they’re having at work, don’t tell them about how much you hate your job,” Celeste says. “It’s not the same. It is never the same. All experiences are individual. And more importantly, it is not about you. Conversations are not a promotional opportunity.”
“Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids, we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over,” Celeste points out.
9. Stay out of the weeds “Frankly, people don’t care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you’re struggling to come up with in your mind,” Celeste says. “They don’t care. What they care about is you.” Peppering your conversation with details is fine but only if it benefits your listener, not your own peace of mind.
10. Be brief This one speaks for itself. No one likes people who tie others up in conversational knots for hours. We don’t like being talked at, or made to feel as though we could be anyone, just being a silent ear. Celeste quotes her sister on the subject: ‘A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.’ https://www.ted.com/talks/celeste_headlee_10_ways_to_ have_a_better_conversation?language=en
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Being Present: A Book of Daily Reflections by David J. Kundtz 2015
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In Being Present, Kundtz guides us through the seasons of a year— and the seasons of a life—drawing inspiration from poets and scientists, spiritual teachers and children, butterflies and big cities. Each day is a surprise that helps readers to find their own moments in surprising ways. This is a simple book, meant to make your life more peaceful, more rewarding, and more awakened. It has one purpose: to give readers an opportunity to be in the moment once a day, every day.
It has one purpose: to give readers an opportunity to be in the moment once a day, every day. Longtime therapist and meditator David Kundtz gives you permission not to fret about whether you’re getting your meditation practice right or not. It’s right. The whole purpose of your meditation is to show up as awake and aware as possible to your everyday life. He reminds us that the reason to meditate is not simply to experience the peaceful moments of the meditation time, but also to maintain the focus, awareness, and equanimity that you need for getting through stressful situations. You become a more mindful person.
Being Present is: • • • • • •
Paying full attention to what is going on right now Staying in the moment Observing what is, without criticism or judgment Balanced concern for things exactly as they are Accepting whatever experience we are having Having an awake participation in ongoing life
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26039257being-present?ac=1&from_search=true#
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Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect by Matthew D. Lieberman 2013
In Social, renowned psychologist Matthew Lieberman explores groundbreaking research in social neuroscience revealing that our need to connect with other people is even more fundamental, more basic, than our need for food or shelter. Because of this, our brain uses its spare time to learn about the social world – other people and our relation to them. It is believed that we must commit 10,000 hours to master a skill. According to Lieberman, each of us has spent 10,000 hours learning to make sense of people and groups by the time we are ten.
It is believed that we must commit 10,000 hours to master a skill. Social argues that our need to reach out to and connect with others is a primary driver behind our behavior. We believe that pain and pleasure alone guide our actions. Yet, new research using fMRI – including a great deal of original research conducted by Lieberman and his UCLA lab -- shows
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that our brains react to social pain and pleasure in much the same way as they do to physical pain and pleasure. Fortunately, the brain has evolved sophisticated mechanisms for securing our place in the social world.
Our need to reach out to and connect with others is a primary driver behind our behavior. We have a unique ability to read other people’s minds, to figure out their hopes, fears, and motivations, allowing us to effectively coordinate our lives with one another. And our most private sense of who we are is intimately linked to the important people and groups in our lives.
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engagement and learning, and literally shuts down the social brain, leaving powerful neuro-cognitive resources untapped.
This wiring often leads us to restrain our selfish impulses for the greater good. These mechanisms lead to behavior that might seem irrational, but is really just the result of our deep social wiring and necessary for our success as a species.
The insights revealed in this pioneering book suggest ways to improve learning in schools, make the workplace more productive, and improve our overall well-being. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17237217social#
The brain has evolved sophisticated mechanisms for securing our place in the social world. Based on the latest cutting edge research, the findings in Social have important real-world implications. Our schools and businesses, for example, attempt to minimalize social distractions. But this is exactly the wrong thing to do to encourage
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“With books there is no forced sociability. If we pass the evening with those friends—books—it’s because we really want to. When we leave them, we do so with regret and, when we have left them, there are none of those thoughts that spoil friendship: ‘What did they think of us?’—‘Did we make a mistake and say something tactless?’—‘Did they like us?’—nor is there the anxiety of being forgotten because of displacement by someone else.” Marcel Proust (On Reading, 1905)
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