May 2023 Issue of DarienMagazineCT.com

The Good Dirt

The Darien Community Association Greenhouse and its Greenhouse Group members

Dear Readers and Residents of Darien,

Is there anything as uplifting as spring? Well, many things probably but certainly the color and life of this great season rank high. What’s interesting is that it all starts stripped, unfolding, progressing until it bursts with such beauty and possibility. Community is like that—one becomes two, then three then the glue that holds all sorts of things together.

As this issue developed, the resounding theme echoing through each article was community and the many positives we can create when we have it. From the incredible bonds the Women of the Darien Community Association Greenhouse have built through the affinity they share, as described in this month’s cover story, to the power of opening up to those around you when it comes to finding mental strength playing (and coaching!) high profile sports, as shared by Darien High School Girls Lacrosse Coach Lisa Lindley in our Q&A with her in this month’s Mind Set column, it’s a mighty thing we have at our fingertips – the community we find.

Long time Darien resident Carole Claps would most heartily agree. (Find out why in her Art Show column this month.) …As would the seniors in Darien served by At Home in Darien, and the people helping provide those services (as you’ll see in this month’s Giving Back column.)

It’s moving, inspiring and a fitting thing to celebrate in this month of moms, so often the architects of the community in our lives. So as we welcome spring and give thanks for the moms among us, let us be grateful too for all that brings us together, and the people who make it so.

There’s all this and more in the pages ahead, a magazine for Darien, by Darien, and we thank the advertisers who make it possible for us to produce it for you. ...And props to the Women of the DCA Greenhouse for their annual plant sale earlier this month!

Please, share your thoughts with us at pam@ darienmagazinect.com or carl@darienmagazinect.com And be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @darienmagazinect.

PAMELA DEY VOSSLER CARL TRAUTMANN Editor-in-Chief Founder & Publisher

Cherry tree on Sylvan Road

COVE R STORY

COVER PHOTO BY BAMBI RIEGEL | RIEGELPICTUREWORKS.COM

pictured on cover ( l to r ): DCA Greenhouse members: Back row: Liza Smith, Flora Smeaton, Alice Watson, Susan Wilson, Sue Hayes, Mary Bloomer, Laura Mosher, Donna Gunya, Robin Ackerman, Front row: Nancy Goell, Ginger Morgan, Sheila Sherwood, Caroline Burke, Eve Mauger, Kristy Barclay, Madeleine Treesh, Patty von Jena, Carolyn Eddie

missing from photo : Jodie Bishop, Juliet Cain, Allie Callan, Sutzie Canzonetti, Denise Cara, Ali Curtis, Liane Hamilton, Anna Resnansky, Joanne Thomas, Rosie Trompeter

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Darien MagazineCT.com inspires, educates and expands minds through stories about Darien residents, influencers, organizations, business owners, charities and more. We uncover the gems in our midst and look at the familiar in new ways, to take you deep into the community we call home.

Darien’s prosperity is intertwined with our amazing local businesses. Did you know that:

• 70% of local dollars spent, stay local (Amex)

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• “Near Me” (within 5 miles) is a top business search category. (Google Small Business)

Thank you for supporting our local business community.

MAY CONTRIBUTORS

Special shout out to our local contributors this month: Linda Stephens • Darien High School Girls Lacrosse Coach Lisa Lindley • Carole

Caps • Sue Okie (Board Member, At Home in Darien) and At Home in Darien • Carolyn Eddie

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LLC is an independent, wholly owned multimedia platform and business including this publication published ten times a year, social media, and a soon to launch website.

Director of Photography BAMBI RIEGEL

Art Director KIRSTEN NAVIN

Spring at Weed Beach

Co-Founder IRENE M. TRAUTMANN

In Memoriam

Why Strength Training is Not Optional

With all the things we have to do on a daily basis, life can be hectic. Trying to cram in one more thing can feel almost impossible. But, what if your long term-health depended on it? You’d probably find time for it. Now, even though many of you reading this article know that you should be exercising for said long-term health, how many of you are really making the time to do it? This isn’t meant to throw shade but rather have you take a look at your lifestyle, to inspire you to figure out how you can squeeze a little more juice out of that orange called your daily grind.

If you can realistically identify three, maybe four, times a week for exercise, how do you then know what type of exercise to choose for the greatest return? Cardiovascular, weight training, yoga, something else? I’ve listed my top three reasons below why strength training must be done a minimum of three times a week. While I do believe that other forms of exercise are just as important for wellness, strength training is key for retaining and building muscle mass. Muscle is more metabolically active even when you’re resting, meaning that you’re burning calories even when you sit on the sofa or get a good night’s sleep. Plus, a strong physique will keep you upright and mobile well into your golden years.

LINDA’S TOP 3 REASONS WHY YOU MUST STRENGTH TRAIN 1 • Increases Muscle Mass

As we age, we lose muscle mass which can be problematic if we want to continue to move with ease. Resistance training not only can slow down but also reverse the aging process at the genetic level.

2 • Increases Bone Density

When we perform weight bearing movements, our muscles and tendons put tension on our bones. This stimulates the bone to lay down more tissue to become stronger to bear the load. Stronger bones reduce the risk of fractures as we age along with reducing the risk of osteopenia/osteoporosis (brittle bones). This is of utmost importance to women, given the drop in estrogen levels during menopause which help keep bones strong when women are younger.

3

• Builds Joint Integrity and Mobility

Strength training keeps our joints moveable, increases blood flow to our tissues and helps reduce the risk of injuries. If we don’t move our body and then expect it to perform for us at random times, we may put our joints under tension they aren’t conditioned for. Then a knee, hip or shoulder joint becomes painful or worse.

All types of movement are important to keep the body well-lubricated and ready to move at a moment’s notice. Imagine not being able to run away from a threat or defend

yourself from harm. If you’re having a hard time getting exercise into your schedule, identify the times in your weekly schedule when you can do 45 minutes of exercise. Once you’ve identified those times, put it on your calendar, like any other appointment. Mark it to repeat every week and never miss that appointment. Schedule other things around your exercise time. Being proactive is always better than reactive when it comes to your health.

Please contact me if you need help getting started with your strength training or want more information about a specific routine to follow.

In good health, Linda

LINDA STEPHENS, M.S. Nutritionist, Darien Resident and Owner, Linda Stephens Fitness, LLC. My virtual door is always open if you want to discuss your health concerns and goals. You can schedule a complimentary call with me through my website at www.lindamstephens.com. Follow me at: IG: @lindatephensfit, YouTube: Linda Stephens

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Linda Stephens Fitness offers comprehensive nutritional planning to help you achieve your personal wellness goals. We work with individuals, athletes and families. We believe in being proactive about your health because your health is your responsibility.

Better Together Mental Health—On and Off

Coach Lindley with DHS Morgan’s Message Ambassadors. From left: Sadie Stafford, Anna Von Kennel, Hope Schoudel and Kat Reynolds

Q&A with Darien High School Girls Lacrosse Coach LISA LINDLEY

photo by: BAMBI RIEGEL | riegelpictureworks.com

Together: the Field

How do you keep your head when you play for a top girls lacrosse team like Coach Lisa Lindley’s Darien High School squad—a perennial powerhouse (at press time, they were ranked #1 in the nation), and the spotlight’s always on, thanks to social media that’s never off? Or when a team you should be beating inches ahead, you have a bad game, you’re on the team but don’t play much or, heaven forbid, you lose …at a time when adolescent anxiety is already through the roof? It helps if your coach cares about your mental health as much as she cares about your skills and fitness—as Coach Lindley does. In this Q&A, she told us why, what she does about it and how we, as parents and fans, can best support these elite athletes. (Note: Lisa, a National Lacrosse Hall of Fame coach, is also mom to two sons who played lacrosse at the highest levels.) – Editor

Q: Do you see a lot of anxiety amongst your players.

Lisa: Yes.

Q: How do you help them deal with that?

Lisa: Well, the events that happened last spring really affected our team. So I really wanted to find something that would help them and to set a culture where they can talk about mental health. That’s when I found Morgan’s Message. It’s student-driven so we have four ambassadors. The ambassadors lead (mental health)discussions for the team.

Q: You began coaching at DHS in 1994. Has the mental health aspect of the game changed?

Lisa: Yes. I would say within the last 10 years, it has become more prominent than ever.

Q: What do you attribute it to?

Lisa: I think one of the main reasons is social media …looking and seeing what other kids are doing and then having the whole FOMO thing. But then it goes a step further when you’re dealing with social media in sports. Certain players get written up and I think for some, it becomes, ‘Why aren’t I written up?’ There’s a lot of emphasis on that and we’re guilty of it too because we promote it on our Twitter page and our Instagram page, but I don’t like it. I wish it was more like when I started when there was no social media.

Q: So what you’re saying is that in spotlighting the high achievers, the others feel like they become invisible even though the high achievers can’t do what they’re doing without their teammates?

Lisa: Correct.

Q: What do you do to counter the negative effects of social media?

Lisa: One thing I try to stress every year is ‘Hey, listen, at the end of the day, we’re a team and we compete as a team, not as individuals.’

Q: Anything else?

Lisa: The coaches and I instituted a new rule this year and I like what it’s done so far. (The players) are not allowed to have their cell phones on the field and they’re not allowed to have their cell phones out on the bus. So it encourages players to interact with each other. →

Mind Set

Q: How else do you and your coaching staff address that every player is important?

Lisa: That was our first lesson from our Mor gan’s Message ambassadors. It’s very import ant to me because I’m always conscious of the player who maybe doesn’t play that much. I want to make sure they know that they are important and they contribute to our team. Accomplishing things as a team is much greater than anything you can accomplish as an individual.

Q: You’re coaching the number one team in the country. How do you get your players to be in the moment, to normalize the stakes, so that they can play their best?

Lisa: My emphasis to the players is when they come to practice, I really need them to concentrate and give me their all for two hours. I really try to focus on knowing what to do, having the right attitude and giving effort. Those are three things that you can control. The other stuff, you can’t really control. So if they follow those three things, for the most part, they tend to be successful but we also do talk about how you can’t put so much pressure on yourself that you’re hand locked. Like anything in life, if you put that much pressure on yourself, you’re not going to be successful. And we talk about having fun, enjoying the game.

Q: Do the players who don’t enjoy the game have more anxiety?

Lisa: Yes. I see it. I have players that really do not enjoy the game. They’re playing lacrosse for reasons that are not their own. Kids need to enjoy what they’re doing. I don’t care if they’re in theater, in band, if they play softball, soccer, field hockey, whatever it is. They have to be passionate about it.

Q: Do you feel added pressure because the culture in Darien can be so performance-based?

Lisa: Yes.

Q: Does that impact how you coach your players?

Lisa: Yes. So listen, for me personally, I’ve tried to be more self-reflective. But to be honest, I would lie if I told you that I don’t get carried away in the moment. I do. I’m intense. I’m passionate. I am in there. However, I also feel, and I asked the girls, ‘Do you want me to not talk?’ And they’re like, ‘No! we want you to.’ But I think there’s a happy medium knowing when to be hard on them and when to pull back and I’m still learning. I’m going into my 30th year at Darien and I’m still learning.

Q: How do you help your players stay mentally tough?

Lisa: It’s repetition in practice, simulating game situations and getting them ready for what they’re going to see in the game so that when they face it in the game, they’re not going to freak out. We’re successful because we can prepare them for what they’re going to see. I think that gives players confidence and with that, it makes them mentally tough.

Q: How do you help your players deal with a loss?

Lisa: My biggest message when we lose is, hey, it’s a learning opportunity. We learn from our mistakes and work toward doing better the next time. That’s all I can ask. Look, no one likes to lose, but I don’t stress to the girls, ‘Hey, we can’t lose the game.’ There’s learning that happens when you lose and there’s an opportunity for growth and if we grow from the loss as individuals, and as a team, that’s all that matters because we’re going to be that much better when we face that opponent again.

Q: What do you do when a player is really stressed — either their performance goes down or you can tell they’re anxious?

Lisa: I talk to them. I ask them what’s going on. You have to get to what’s upsetting them and then help them with perspective. That’s always helpful because when they’re in high school, that is their whole world and they lose perspective. If it becomes very worrisome for me, I will contact the parent, and say, hey, listen, I don’t want to go against your daughter’s confidence, but this is a concern for me.

Q: What do you hope your players get out of the game?

Lisa: Lacrosse aside, because I know they’re going to have a good foundation and be well-prepared—for those that want to go to the next level. That’s a given. But what I hope they learn from this is how to work with one another, how to communicate, how to enjoy being part of something bigger than themselves, and sacrificing for a common goal, the importance of putting in hard work, the importance of being a role player, the importance of just working together and forming friendships.

“Kids need to enjoy what they’re doing. I don’t care if they’re in theater, in band, if they play softball, soccer, field hockey, whatever it is. They have to be passionate about it.”

Q: Why is that?

Lisa: Because it’s your community. It’s your high school friends. You come back to reunions and you remember those things.

Q: With the best of intentions, we parents sometimes make mistakes with our kids. We misread things and wind up inadvertently causing our kids stress. Are there things we can do to avoid that?

Lisa: As parents, we can block out what other parents are saying, and not set our kids up for comparisons, that may or may not be real. There was a situation where a bunch of parents were talking about how good their children were and what schools they were going to attend for lacrosse. The truth is, these players were average, and only in the 9th grade! It caused a player and a mom who overheard them so much stress. So you really need to dance to your own beat and be realistic about your child, and listen to what they want. Most kids would be far better off in a D3 school, for example, but we push them to go D1. Also, we forget. Just because they play lacrosse doesn’t mean they’re going to get recruited.

About Morgan’s Message

Through volunteer student-athletes who apply to become Ambassadors at their school, Morgan’s Message strives to eliminate the stigma surrounding mental health within the student-athlete community and equalize the treatment of physical and mental health in athletics. It aims to expand the dialogue on mental health by normalizing conversations, empowering those who suffer in silence, and supporting those who feel alone. There are currently 2,751 Ambassadors on 1,044 high school and college campuses nationwide.

Q: What do you as a coach think we, as a community, can do to support players’ mental health?

Lisa: Just always be open and honest, whether it’s your child, whether it’s your player …opening the lines of communication, making sure that what they choose with the sport, it’s their decision and that we will be supportive of them no matter what they do. The other thing is making players comfortable with asking for help. We need to have outlets where we can help them, where they don’t feel ashamed or ridiculed. I think we’re on the way to doing that.

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The Good

THE WOMEN OF THE DCA GREENHOUSE Dirt

It’s earthy, pungent. You know that smell. It’s the rich, all-is-right-withthe-world scent that comes from dirt, good dirt. The sort used for potting. It’s the smell of a greenhouse filled with plants grown with the kind of care and got-your-back bonhomie that could erase all discord if we could figure a way to package and distribute it. There’s a dampness behind it, a hospitable humidity that encircles you with a sense of peace and possibility.

Such is the greenhouse of the Darien Community Association (DCA) and the group that operates it: the Greenhouse Girls, as they call themselves.

“The DCA strives to offer something for everyone in the community, and one of the ways we do this is through groups that are organized around a particular common interest or passion,” said DCA Executive Director Amy Bell. “The Greenhouse Group, established 35 years ago, not only provides a vehicle for members to share a love of gardening, it is a wonderful example of camaraderie, new friendships and community connection which is an important part of our DCA mission,” she continued.

Reliable and reassuring, the DCA Greenhouse is a place of plants cultivated organically in community—with much talk, a lot of laughs, and learning, by a group as solid and inspiring as the space they steward—through their shared love of growing things and the energy, good cheer and generosity of spirit that come with it.

And no wonder.

When your game is growing things—hope and optimism are the lines on the field, faith and patience the rules of engagement. Vision too. With

BY PAMELA DEY VOSSLER

PHOTOS BY BAMBI RIEGEL | RIEGELPICTUREWORKS.COM

all that, of course your cup is half full—nurturing life from a seed, keeping out the bad, locking in the good through water, warmth, properly timed re-potting, some good organic fertilizing and steady de-bugging, all aimed solely at making the world more beautiful.

“The thing with gardening, what you do now, doesn’t bear fruit until six months later,” said Greenhouse member (and our own Darien Cooks contributor!) Carolyn Eddie. “That’s why I think of it as hope and optimism,” she said.

“It’s like you’re giving a gift to yourself for the future,” said current Greenhouse President and 18-year Darien resident Sue Hayes of gardening, particularly perennials which comprise the majority of the plants the group cultivates.

They are an eclectic mix of 27 women. Their ages span up to 30 years from youngest to oldest. Some are retired— from banks, law firms, schools, fashion houses …the RAF even. Others are not. Some are still raising children; others have grandchildren. There are master gardeners, beginning gardeners; people who’ve dabbled with plants but want to know more and people who design gardens for a living.

Without the Greenhouse, most would never meet. With the Greenhouse, they are rooted in each other’s lives like the oldest growth forests.

“We are a group of women in different stages of life

who share our love of gardening and learn so much from each other,” said Sheila Sherwood, a 15-year member of the Greenhouse and longtime resident of Darien. “Some came to the Greenhouse, as I did, a novice. Others are master gardeners. We share a joy in seeing the Greenhouse filled with our plants each year. It is interesting to me, what varied backgrounds we have,” she added.

“Despite the quite vast difference in ages, we all get along so well, support each other in times of tragedy or illness, and share a common love of plants and gardening,” said Eve Mauger, a landscape designer and the longest standing member of the Greenhouse. She joined 25 years ago, shortly after her arrival in town from Seattle.

“I was deeply touched by the kindness of my Greenhouse friends 11 years ago when my husband passed away,” said Sheila. “Many worked with me in my garden and brought meals for my family,” she continued.

The social aspect, too, is a big part of being a member, according to Eve. “We have a Christmas party every year as well as an end-of-year lunch at someone’s home. We try

Greenhouse members nurture plants on benches along the outside of the Greenhouse; plants in the middle are for the plant sale

and visit at least one public garden a year and also have ‘cocktails in the garden’ at our own homes during the summer, to show off our gardens and discuss our favorite topic—plants!” she added.

“(The group) is generated from affinity but then it becomes friendship through affinity,” said Sue.

…and hard work.

This group knows good things take time, and commitment.

“You get out what you put in,” said Sue, who grew up in northern England, the daughter of passionate gardeners

who continue to tend a plot, though in their late eighties.

New members join the propagation (prop) team. Led by experienced members, they raise plants from seeds, plugs or cuttings, giving hours each week to planting, watering, learning which plants need to be under lights, how often they need water and when to divide and transfer them to progressively bigger pots.

“Plants are like cats,” explained Sue. “They like to be cozy and contained, so plants need to be re-potted as they grow.” Thus the shelf in the Greenhouse piled high with stacks of 3-inch, 4-inch and quart-sized pots.

While each member has their own or a half share of a bench, space in the Greenhouse on which up to 80 or so plants that have graduated from propagation reside, all take turns with the various leadership roles needed to run the place—president, treasurer, secretary, membership chair, prop team leader, plant sale leader, bug captain, supplies chief and more. No ego. Just a willingness to get the job done and not overburden any one member. Regardless of whether or not a plant belongs to them or a fellow member,

above : Sheila Sherwood ( left ) and Alice Watson “potting up” in the DCA Greenhouse, left : Bug teams work in groups of four to identify plants for dipping in an organic wash to rid them of the pests

all trade off with daily watering, the fertilizing, the looking for bugs, the ridding of bugs through organic washes, the potting up of those cat-like plants at intentional ‘potting parties’ and on ad hoc afternoons, the checking to make sure the Greenhouse heater kicks on as it should during the cold months, that no panes break in storms and the warmth and extra light stays on the propagating seeds that need it, the pinching out and the hardening off as spring arrives.

Through it all, there is chatter, that easy conversation that flows when tasks are easy, manual and repetitive—releasing the mind to wander as it will.

“Going there for a quick check-up (on my plants) usually turns into a much longer event if there are other members coming and going,” said Eve. “We always have much to talk about!” she added.

“The ladies are fun, interesting, worldly and passionate about gardening! I really enjoy our chats as we pot and plant,” said first-year member Liane Hamilton who moved to Darien in 2020.

And no topic is off the table. “What’s said in the Greenhouse stays in the Greenhouse,” said Sue, laughing.

Starting in September and culminating with an annual plant sale in May to benefit the DCA mission (including college scholarships for Darien High School graduates), the Greenhouse Group operates out of the historic Lord and Burnham Greenhouse behind the Meadowlands, the main structure of the DCA. Original to the 100-year-old estate, the Greenhouse was built to service the formal gardens designed by Ellen Biddle Shipman, one of the first female landscape

opposite : Newer member Liza Smith at work in the Greenhouse with Eve Mauger, the longest standing member of the group, left : Members of the Greenhouse Group rally each fall and spring to help Carolyn Eddie ( far left ) with the elaborate teas she leads for the DCA

“

What’s said in the Greenhouse stays in the Greenhouse,” said Sue, laughing.

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY : CAROLYN EDDIE

architects. A marvel of early 20th-century mechanics that has stood the test of time, it features automatic openings linked to a thermostat to regulate the temperature inside.

From their shared affinity and work together, the concern the Women of the DCA Greenhouse have for one another grows tallest. Like the bugs, the water, the temperature of the Greenhouse—what affects one, affects all. While some know each other better than others, with friendships that extend beyond the dirt, they are committed equally to one another in an all-for-one approach of care and respect.

“I’ve made some very close friends with some of the women. Some of them I see outside of the Greenhouse.

Some of the women I really only see at the Greenhouse or at Greenhouse functions, but that doesn’t make us any less caring or respectful of each other,” said Robin Ackerman, a retired men’s fashion executive who joined the Greenhouse in 2009, shortly after she moved to Darien from New York City to join her new husband.

There’s such a generosity of spirit among these women. And trust. They show up for each other. And they don’t keep score. Not just in the Greenhouse where members seam-

Plants hardening off outside the Greenhouse earlier this spring

lessly cover for members who may be traveling or otherwise unable to tend their plants or take their turn with an assigned task, but in all else as well.

“It’s a given that we’re there for each other,” said Carolyn.

They attend all DCA events in support of members who also hold board positions within the larger organization …and those wildly popular DCA high teas led by Carolyn Eddie each fall and spring? Nearly every one of her helpers is a member of Greenhouse.

Fundamental to the growing is giving, certainly—and that includes the plants themselves. Members give them to their friends, to the plant sale and to each other, creating a history of the DCA Greenhouse in gardens throughout town, each plant representing its grower.

“I have a whole section of monkshood in my garden that came from Eve’s garden,” said Susan Wilson who joined the Greenhouse seven years ago, after years of donating plants from her own garden in Darien to the plant sale.

“When other Greenhouse people come to my garden and walk around, they know all the plants so they feel at home in my garden. Because we’ve all grown it,” said Sue.

The plant sale, run and supplied entirely by the Greenhouse Group—from what they grow throughout the winter in the Greenhouse, from what they harvest from their own

gardens, and from what they source from other gardens, generates up to $10k a year for the DCA.

“It really is a sharing community,” said Carolyn.

Perhaps most of all, the Greenhouse is a refuge.

“When there’s a blizzard, there’s no better place to be than in there,” said Susan. “It’s just full of life. It smells great. If there’s snow accumulating on the glass, it creates shadows that bounce off the plants. There’s just something about it. It just feels good. You’re all alone. It’s quiet. It’s peaceful.”

“People view it more as a sanctuary. Somewhere to decompress,” said Carolyn.

“You breathe out,” agreed Sue.

“But it’s also where you can hang out and put your hands in the dirt and …it’s other worldly to be honest,” said Carolyn.

“The plants don’t give you trouble. They just grow. And they just do what they’re supposed to do and they’re grateful. They’re always so grateful—plants, aren’t they?” added Sue.

When the biggest controversies center on how often to water, and how to manage the beautiful but buggy plectranthus (to banish or not to banish it from the Greenhouse!) is about as sinister as it gets, the women of the DCA Greenhouse, and the world they inhabit, are hope and optimism for us all—the best dirt for any kind of growth.

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Following Your Art

Scratch the surface of most anything—a wall, a canvas …a person—and you’re bound to find layers of what you might least expect—surprising, delightful, sometimes shocking …but nearly always interesting.

Scratch the surface of longtime Darien resident Carole Claps, a talented actress, dancer, singer and prolific past volunteer for more than 20 years at the Darien Arts Center (DAC) and you’ll discover an incredible story of shared beginnings, forever friends and the many types of success they found on stage—and off. It centers on Stage Door for Youth (SDY), a local theatre group started by two 16-year-olds in 1963. Carole

joined in 1965. It was just a bunch of local kids doing what they loved years before the world knew them …locals like award-winning actor Treat Williams, Tony Award-winning director & playwright James Lapine, multi-talented Broadway choreographer Wayne Cilento, and the first male supermodel Carmine “Tony” Spinelli, among others.

Such a collection of talent. All locally born and raised. You never can tell where young passions may lead, and the impact the connections made while pursuing them can have on a life. As the former members of SDY gather for a reunion on Saturday, May 13th in Stamford, here’s Carole’s story.

The year was 1963 and the event that changed the lives of so many young people in Fairfield County, including me, was the formation of Stage Door for Youth (SDY). Founded by 16-year-old visionaries Tana Sibilio and Charlie Clute, it became an oasis for everyone who signed up to “put on a show.” For me, SDY meant summers of fun and dedication that sealed my love for the performing arts.

Thousands of stage struck youngsters between the ages of 14 and 21 would spend their entire summers on stage and backstage during the 12 years SDY existed—learning what it meant to be part of a dedicated theater company, whether

acting, singing, dancing, playing in the pit or designing and building sets, hanging lights or discovering the importance that sound plays in a musical.

Our director, the late Joe Catalinotto, was tough. He yelled. He was demanding. He gave us discipline. We gave him shows the newspapers said were worthy of Broadway. We loved him. What we learned from him on the stage during those magical summer nights could never be taught in a classroom.

Most of my closest friendships date back to that time at SDY, including Toni DeCarlo who, at age 15, already was choreographing. DeCarlo was a preliminary judge for Darien’s Got Talent; she choreographed musical productions for the DAC; and was production manager for Darien’s Bicentennial.

Tony Spinelli went from playing Bernardo in SDY’s 1968 production of West Side Story to becoming one of the most successful male models of all time.

Treat Williams, who got his start at SDY, and Wayne

left : SDY alum James Lapine (center) in SDY’s The Music Man. He would go on to become a Theatre Hall of Fame director, playwright, screenwriter and librettist, frequently collaborating with Stephen Sondheim, above : Carole as Dolly Levi in the 2010 Curtain Call Kweskin Theatre production of Hello, Dolly!

Art Show

Cilento were also part of the West Side Story cast and, along with Spinelli, have remained close friends.

Cilento became one of Broadway’s most creative choreographers and was in the original cast of A Chorus Line. He is currently directing Bob Fosse’s Dancin’ on Broadway.

SDY Co-Founder Clute, who also designed the sets, won Daytime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Achievement in Costume Design for the soap opera All My Children

Not everyone from SDY made careers in the arts. Many others became doctors, lawyers, business people and more. I moved on to a career in public relations but my love affair with theatre, especially musical theater, remains ever-present in my life.

But it goes even deeper than that for me.

The only Broadway-type show my Dad ever saw me in was the 1965 SDY production of Guys and Dolls. I was part of the dancing and singing chorus. He died the next year at the age of 42, just before I graduated from high school. I remember feeling really guilty about auditioning for that summer’s SDY show, The Music Man. I felt I hadn’t given myself time to really grieve his death. But my Mom told me I needed to audition and to live the life he would have wanted for me, to be with my friends who were there to support me and my family during this very challenging time. I had gained a little weight from stress eating and I didn’t want to try out for the dancing chorus. Joe Catalinotto said, “Go downstairs and audition for one of the pick-a-little-ladies.” I didn’t know who they were, but I went and was cast as Ethel Toffelmier, one of the semi-leads, who not only had very funny comic moments, but led off the dancing chorus in one of the most exciting musical numbers in the show, “Shipoopi.”

The director knew what he was doing and why he was doing it. That summer saved my life. Stage Door for Youth saved my life. My dad would have been proud. The next year I was back to my dancing weight and was, once again, part of the dancing and singing chorus in Showboat.

Many years later, I was honored to direct many DAC musicals during my years volunteering there. I’m especially proud of the work I did

above : Treat Williams as Danny Suko in Grease on Broadway, right : The early days. (from left) Treat Williams who said, “Some of my closest friends are from SDY,” with Tony Spinelli and Wayne Cilento

PHOTOS COURTESY OF TREAT WILLIAMS AND TONY SPINELLI

as director of Darien’s Got Talent, a major DAC fundraiser. Working with some of the most hard-working Darien volunteers was a major highlight for me. Directing Darien’s Bicentennial in 2021 was another.

All of this takes a lot of work and an enormous number of hours and people always ask me, “What do you get out of all of it?” Besides feeding my creative soul, I’ve gotten to know so many wonderful people. They are my forever friendships, my soulmates, my thespian angels.

…the mark of true success on any stage.

For more information about the Stage Door for Youth reunion, email: stagedoorforyouth60@gmail.com

CAROLE CLAPS is a long time Darien resident and former Darien Arts Center (DAC) board member where she served as volunteer VP/Arts and directed many DAC musicals including, notably, The Most Happy Fella and Man of La Mancha. A public relations consultant, she continues to act, sing and direct as time permits.

SDY alum Tony Spinelli, the first male super model, with actress/model Rene Russo

PHOTO COURTESY OF TONY SPINELLI/ICONIC FOCUS

Senior-ity

The Joy of Putting Darien’s Older Residents First

Are you or do you know a senior citizen in Darien who could use some help—regularly or just occasionally—getting to a doctor, seeing friends or with shopping, yardwork or rides to town events and activities? How about checking on someone isolated, giving them the chance to say, “I’m fine, thanks!” …a simple act to show you care?

Well, Darien has an organization for that!

The nonprofit At Home in Darien (AHID) is dedicated to helping seniors in town live independently, comfortably and with dignity in their own homes, while connecting them to the community. That’s because AHID knows: Enabling our elderly to remain in their homes as long as they can creates a multi-generational community that strengthens the fabric of Darien for all residents.

AHID is a lifeline to seniors, especially the homebound, providing services— all free of charge thanks to our generous donors, local foundations and State grants—that include:

Transportation by two professional drivers via sedan or accessible minivans Monday through Thursday (9am to 4pm) and Friday (9am to 1pm) to doctors’ appointments, physical therapy, social get-togethers, bridge games or lunch dates at the Senior Center

AHID Board Members & Friends at the Memorial Day Parade

AHID Co-Presidents Peter Sosnow ( left ) and William Carney with past President Susan Bhirud

Supplemental rides from volunteers after hours or when the professional drivers are occupied

Discounted taxi vouchers for other after-hours requests

Names and numbers of vetted service providers for home glitches—when a light won’t work, a stove burner won’t function, etc.

Grocery shopping, errands, home visits, leaf raking and snow shoveling

Friendly calls and visits just to see how somebody is doing

Home safety evaluations

Membership cards with special discounts to 29 local businesses for all adults in Darien over 60

Monthly blog posts

A monthly calendar sent to more than 1,000 seniors in Darien, alerting them to programs at the Senior Center and the Library, High School plays and other events around town

A newsletter—Out and About, mailed three times a year to all Darien households

And there’s nothing like the feeling you get when you help make all this happen.

Overseen by a volunteer Board, AHID employs an executive director, two part time associates and a bookkeeper, in addition to its professional drivers. But it is the volunteers that form the backbone of AHID, with all ages in on the good works. More than 100 volunteers, ages 10 to over 70 years old, gave approximately 1,600 hours and 3,000 one-way rides in 2022 through AHID. It all comes from Darien residents who offer an hour or two a week in exchange for the smiles, warmth and gratitude they get from the 300+ seniors who receive services from AHID. In an especially gratifying turn for AHID, youth groups from Saint Thomas More, the Church of Latter Day Saints, the Community Fund’s Thriving Youth Task Force, Middlesex Middle School Gives Back, Girl Scout Troop 219 and students from the Harvey School assisted in fall cleanups.

The seeds of At Home in Darien were planted in 2006 when the Community Fund of Darien and members of

the First Congregational Church and Saint Luke’s Episcopal Church searched for ways to better serve Darien seniors. They created Aging in Place with later merged with Gallivant, a longtime transportation service for seniors, to become At Home in Darien.

There was no immediate model for what developed. Neighboring towns offer similar services through various organizations, but they are fee-based. AHID committed to providing support free of charge, funded by local citizens helping neighbors.

Anyone who has ever had an ailing or frail parent, loved an elderly relative or friend or known any senior who lived in their own home and cherished their independence understands just how fortunate we are to have At Home in Darien in our town.

Like all nonprofits, AHID relies on the generosity of individual donors and local philanthropic organizations, such as the Darien Foundation, who funded a new, state-of-the-art accessible van in 2021 for AHID.

To learn more about At Home in Darien and ways you can support this incredibly rewarding work, call AHID Executive Director Chris Jones at 203-655-2227 or visit athomeindarien.org.

left : Volunteers the Ventker and Vicente families with students from the Harvey School, below : The state-of-the-art accessible van donated by the Darien Foundation in 2021,

AHID Board Member Barbara Scanlon Jessup and senior Barbara Thorne at the Fall DCA Luncheon

If you know nothing else about Joe Rivieccio, owner and head chef of Papa Joe’s Ristorante Italiano at 1973 Post Road in Darien, know this: He’s Italian—and it shapes everything he does at his popular gem of a spot. Born in Anzio, 45 minutes outside of Rome, as was his mother, her nine siblings and generations before her, Joe channels the Roman influences of this area in combination with the Neapolitan flavors of Ponza, an island off of western Italy in the Tyrrhenian Sea where his dad grew up—into food that has been filling his restaurant with loyal customers for 50 years.

Because Joe knows, in a time of nouvelle cuisine, artistic efforts yielding small portions of highly specialized food and fussy variations on ethnic cooking that can strip it of its origins—delicious as all of it might be, “Sometimes the soul needs a good meal,” as he says.

His customers, hundreds of them regulars, including families who came here as kids and now bring their children in—couldn’t agree more.

The rollatini, the lasagna, the chicken parmigiana and

Food for the Soul

pappardelle, the linguine with clams, the gnocchi Bolognese, the fettucine, the red sauce, a nice, crusty bread, and more—so much more …in a town filled with people who travel the world, Papa Joe’s is always packed.

“I’m a simple Italian food guy. There’s a lot of restaurants out there that complicate food right now but everything Joe does is just off the charts fabulous,” said Darien resident Jamie Tropsa, head coach of the Darien High School girls hockey team and a Papa Joe’s regular nearly since it opened. He’s there for dinner with his wife Danielle several times a month, though he would go there every night if he could.

That’s not to say Joe doesn’t evolve and try new things, learning from his biannual trips back to Italy. He does, but always within the context of his roots.

“He’s not trying to be what he’s not,” said Darien resident

Owner, Head Chef Joe Rivieccio in the Papa Joe’s dining room, with the homemade pasta generations of customers can’t get enough of

Kathy Finnegan, another Papa Joe’s regular who has been going to the restaurant since the mid 1990s, before he added the bar and a takeout space to his restaurant. “There are two things that draw me there. One is the food, it’s delicious,” she continued. “There are those comfort foods, they’re always on the menu and they don’t change. But then, for specials he’s always trying different things.”

The other draw for Kathy is the community, the familiarity she finds at Papa Joe’s.

That’s because Joe’s roots and, therefore, the roots of Papa Joe’s, trace back to the quintessential Italian flair for bringing together a robust complement of generations over a good plate of food—an echo of midday Sunday meals on countryside terraces overhung with vines, tables heaped high with pasta, scallopine, melanzana and more—the conversation lively, the warmth undeniable, the community irresistible.

Many, like Kathy, go to Papa Joe’s as much for the camaraderie as for the food.

Go there any night. Sit at the bar, order a meal. You’ll see for yourself. Chances are, you’ll find someone you know. And if you don’t, you’ll soon feel the welcome that pulls so many back.

“There’s a feeling when you walk in that you already know somebody. You’re not a stranger,” said Kathy who finds it especially warming as an empty nester.

“It’s very common for (people at different) tables to know each other,” said Joe.

“The atmosphere is fantastic,” agreed Jamie who attri-

butes it to the food. “I keep going back to the food: it creates the atmosphere,” he added.

What’s remarkable is the timeless appeal of Papa Joe’s— proof of the primacy of human contact and the appeal of a good meal shared.

“When you see a restaurant like that with so many regulars, it tells you something about the place,” said Jamie. “It tells you about the food. It tells you about the help. It tells you about Joe. It sets a standard for everything else,” he continued.

After emigrating from Italy to the U.S. in 1966 and arriving in Connecticut by way of the Bronx with Joe and his family, Joe’s mom and older brother took over Papa Joe’s in 1975, just five months after its original owners opened it as a pizza joint. They built it into the restaurant Joe, who began working at Papa Joe’s when he was just 15 years old, took over in 1995.

He learned to cook from his mom, who grew up cooking for her large family. He honed his skills developing his own recipes in a never-ending quest for better that continues today. It has yielded a sharp consistency to every dish. He works 14-hours most days to keep it that way. His ingredients are fresh, organic, Italian. His methods, authentic. He makes his own pasta, his own bread, everything.

“The consistency and the value that you get are just tremendous. You don’t get that at too many restaurants nowadays,” said Jamie.

…and you don’t get too many restaurants like Papa Joe’s.

“The reality is people like me are not here anymore. Italian cooks are becoming very scarce,” said Joe.

In an age when so much is gone or replaced, how nice to have a guy so capable of keeping the timeless current. Because, after all, sometimes the soul really does just need a good meal, and some good people to share it with.

clockwise from upper left : Joe’s caprese salad, Joe’s spaghetti alla chitarra, Joe’s house made linguine with clams

Crudité Platter with Green Goddess Dip

Can I be totally honest with you? I am not a big fan of crudité platters. All those crunchy, raw vegetables. I much prefer mine cooked, preferably roasted, lots of olive oil, salt and pepper!

However, I would like to introduce you to my latest obsession: Green Goddess Dip and super color-coordinated, artfully displayed and beautifully sliced vegetables—purple and green cauliflower, watermelon radishes, sugar snaps, cut to display the peas hidden inside (could that be the true meaning of inner peas?) …and small seasonal flowers.

The Green Goddess Dip lifts the crudité platter to a whole new level and, even if you still don’t really like raw vegetables, you have to admire the rather gorgeous aesthetic. (I also add a hummus dip which is great for non-dairy guests.)

The recipe is adapted from simplyrecipes.com and the idea for the platter came from Gourmet Sweet Botanicals who got it from …and so it goes. (No such thing as an original idea and many hours lost down the rabbit hole that is Instagram to find this one. You are welcome!)

CAROLYN EDDIE is a Darien Resident & Owner, Carolyn’s Absolutely Fabulous Events. For more of her recipes, check out carolynsabsolutelyfabulousevents.com and please remember to tag her on Instagram @carolynsfabfoods.

INGREDIENTS

For the Green Goddess Dip

2 teaspoons anchovy paste or 2 to 4 canned anchovies

³⁄₄ cup mayonnaise

³⁄₄ cup sour cream

¹⁄₂ cup chopped parsley

¹⁄₄ cup chopped tarragon

3 Tablespoons chopped chives

2 Tablespoons lemon juice

Salt and black pepper to taste

Small ripe avocado

For the Crudité

Celery, preferably with some leaves still attached

Multi-colored carrots (I use the yellow and purple ones)

Watermelon radishe

Regular radishes

Sugar snaps

Purple and green cauliflower florets Pansies or chamomile flowers)

INSTRUCTIONS

For the Green Goddess Dip

Throw all ingredients in a blender and blitz. Keeps in the fridge for four/five days. Note: The dip can also be thinned down with buttermilk to make a fabulous dressing for a spring salad.

For the Crudité

1. Wash the carrots and celery and cut into thin slices, roughly the same length. Take care to keep the celery leaves for decoration.

2. Slice the radishes to reveal the gorgeous colors inside.

3. Trim the cauliflower.

4. For the sugar snaps, choose fat ones and carefully slice down the rib. Hopefully, you will end up with one half revealing the small peas inside. These are for final decoration only, so you won’t need many.

5. To assemble, place pretty bowls with the green Goddess dip and hummus (if adding it) drizzled with extra virgin olive oil and lemon juice and topped with a sprig of parsley on a large platter.

7. Fan out the sliced celery and carrots around the dips.

8. Add the cauliflower and watermelon radishes.

9. Finish with the celery leaves, sugar snaps and your flower of choice.

10. Pour a glass of chilled rosé and declare the warm season officially open!

PHOTO COURTESY : CAROLYN EDDIE