Cool. Calm. Collected. The C-Factor Guide to Mastering the Media

Cool. Calm. Collected: The C-Factor Guide to Mastering the Media is published under Erudition, a sectionalized division under Di Angelo Publications, Inc.

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Cool. Calm. Collected: The C-Factor Guide to Mastering the Media. Paperback ISBN: Words: Hollie S. McKay Cover Design: Savina Deianova Interior Design: Kimberly James Editors:

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1. Social Science --- Media Studies

2. Language Arts & Disciplines --- Public Speaking & Speech Writing

United States of America with int. distribution.

INTRODUCTION

When I first began my foray into journalism for Fox News Digital, the world’s biggest cable news network, I was barely twenty-one years old. New York leadership was endeavoring to build up their digital presence—think the stone age of 2007—and I was the young, energetic, thickly Aussie-accented woman they sent off into the Hollywood lair.

And although my career later morphed into investigative journalism and frontline war reportage, it was those formative years that first opened my eyes to who, how, and what makes a strong story. I was also struck by the idea of the “it factor.” What made some stars more memorable than others? What was it about select ones that captivated your attention? How did they deliver some sort of message that remained forever imprinted on your psyche every time their face resurfaced on the silver screen or a social media feed?

There are a few individuals that spring to mind.

Angelina Jolie isn’t your run-of-the-mill A-lister for no good reason. She has a thing. Something different. An innate sensuality and effortless sex appeal, contrasted with a down-to earth humility. I would observe Angelina at various red carpets. I would notice how she would move down a gushing red carpet glutted with glitz and glamor, lights and actions, and crowds screaming her name and photographers clamoring for the perfect shot. But unlike many celebrities who will only do brief interviews with select “big” entertainment or news outlets, Angelina seemed to always respect the little guy just as much, appreciating the many hours they had waited out in the elements for her arrival.

Angelina would look intently at the person asking the question and act as if whatever they had inquired was indelibly interesting, even if she had answered the same banal question countless times

before. She never came across as condescending, and even when questions teetered into her controversial personal life—of course, everyone wanted the scoop on the then-Brangelina brooding family brand—she never lost her cool or issued the sacrificial “no comment.” Angelina always answered the question with a genuine authenticity that left the reporter smiling and satisfied. She radiated a raw, humble sensibility that made everyone want more. Moreover, they do not call Oprah Winfrey “all media” for no good reason. Not only is she stellar at conducting an interview, but she is also—with a much softer approach—just as extraordinary at being the interview subject. The first time I sat down to converse with her, young and green, she took my hand and looked directly into my eyes. It is those seemingly small gestures—nuances of the game Oprah knows all too well—that leave a lasting impression.

On that note, I first encountered Taylor Swift as a poodle-haired, unseasoned teen with a guitar. She sent us time-generous journalists handwritten thank you notes when we would watch her play guitar. Taylor maintained that same sense of graciousness and charm as she climbed quickly up the rungs of fame. Even when she hit superstar status, she remembered you—sometimes waving across a crowded room even as photographers and fans competed for her attention.

It is the small things, just as much as it is the big things, that combine to become the “it factor.” You might already possess it. You might be on the path to obtaining it. But we all have the potential to develop “it.”

You want to be remembered in the media—and for the right reasons. To be the best version of yourself; your true, honest self. I hope this workbook will set you on the trajectory to reach that illustrious destination. To get there, we will dig even deeper into what constitutes “it.”

As my later years in journalism sent me to the edges of the earth, I encountered both the best and worst kinds of individuals this planet has to offer. The spectrum ranged from aid workers saving lives by running into a hail of bullets to terrorists that had shamelessly killed dozens of innocents. I was always entranced by who instinctively knew how to deliver their message effectively and who did not.

Some individuals, whether they be enemy combatants or U.S.aligned soldiers, changed their story throughout the course of even a short interview. This immediately rendered them, from my

journalistic purview, uncredible. Others had distinctive personalities that enticed you to hang tight. While a profusely polarizing figure shadowed by a legacy of corruption, Afghanistan’s first post-U.S. invasion President Hamid Karzai comes to mind as carrying that charismatic “it” component.

I first met him in the early spring of 2017, after hurrying into his sprawling palace in Kabul’s nucleus just minutes after a suicide bomb erupted on the dusty street outside. I immediately understood how his wit had won over the suited U.S. brigade years earlier. Karzai was calm, controlled, and sharply dressed. He carefully presented each argument and every sentence in a soft, articulate, and intellectual manner that flouted any stereotypes of a mountain militiaman.

As much as I took note of those who appeared to have their key messaging and overall output down to an art, I also made studious notes of those who were, in my experiences, nothing short of unlikeable and untrustworthy.

I observed stars who repeated the same rehearsed lines down a red carpet regardless of the question—an obvious no-no—and all too many that disrespected the reporter for reasons that, to me, were not apparent. Others were perfectly likable and funny. Only when they dropped a curse every other word on-camera—ahem, Mike Tyson—it was probably going to be of zero use for family-friendly, primetime TV.

Then there were leaders in the throes of Syrian war zones who expected their voices to be broadcast to mass audiences, yet spent the whole interview talking at you—not to you. Perhaps they did not know they were doing it—surrounded by “yes” people. Or maybe they did, and that was merely their way. Regardless, that wasn’t going to fly.

But in today’s ever media-saturated globule of noise and conflict, crafting a simple message that succinctly delivers what you have to say is vital for business and personal branding. Strip the excess and get it out there.

And don’t be afraid to engage with the media—it need not be a boogeyman. Think of it as an essential tactical tool in your arsenal of success. Calm. Composed. Charismatic. Clear. Collected. Comfort. C words are your friend—and the most crucial of them is Confidence.

With the exercises in this book, I hope to bolster your confidence in handling media of all types and stripes. I will also prepare you for your

wildest nightmares coming to life—and how to navigate the murky terrain of crisis communications should a wince-worthy scenario unfurl. Hint: it will pass if you handle yourself well and with integrity.

But most of all, understand that this mysterious media universe is not rocket science. However, it does require some practice and planning, and with that, your confidence will propel you and what you are telling and selling to unimaginable heights.

I want you to be the trusted “go-to.” I want you to exude that stuff of magic that makes us see, hear, and believe all you say and do in your field of expertise. You have your story to tell, and there are more avenues now than there have ever been in history.

On that note, much of this guidebook pivots around the tenants of drawing out your “unique offering”—as I often characterize it in this book—to the world. We all have something to give, something of value that makes life a little more worth living.

There is a good chance you are already living in your purpose, but perhaps you aren’t quite passionately aware of it yet. It is not merely enough for you to make or do something—you need to offer it. And to aptly offer it, you have to give it greater meaning and a life of its own. You must tell the story, and in such a way that vast audiences are convinced they need you and your offerings.

This is where the media can be your illumination—an opportunity not for self-glory or adulation, but a tool to share. This is about you,the authentic you, but it is also about something more complex than just who you are or what you do. No one else is you, and that is where your influence lies.

Each exercise is in this book for a reason. It is purposefully there to bring out more of the brilliance that bubbles inside of you. Don’t skip and don’t skim. If you cheat, you are only cheating yourself.

So together let’s get some consistency, clarity, coolness—a la confidence—and go forth to champion. Get your pen and paper, a camera phone, and a mirror.

There is more to this than just tending to the “it” ingredient. This is the all-encompassing C-Factor.

You’ve got this.

CHAPTER ONE: CRAFT

Get clear on who you are and what you are offering and selling. Know your story. Develop a firm grasp on what you can do, and what others can do.

The most important thing you must do before stepping into the harsh glare of the media lens is to know exactly who you are, where you come from, where you are going, what you are offering, and why that offering makes a dent in a society wracked with ups and downs.

As cliché as the word may be, we are all selling something—otherwise, why are we going in front of the media to begin with? Maybe you are selling yourself as a subject matter expert, or perhaps you’re selling your business or your beliefs.

On a daily basis, we are bombarded by a multitude of messages, and you have to make yours stand out and shimmer above the rest. It needs to be simple enough to slice through the noise and resonate in the heads of the weary and the time-stretched, but developed and compelling enough to be more than just a one-dimensional marketing memo.

In this section, I want you to scratch a little more below the surface and become transparent with yourself about your offerings to the world. At the end of the day, whether your reasons for seeking media training are personal or professional, the end objective remains the same: what you are offering has to contribute, however large or small, to improving our society.

You can’t project your best self or exude the next-level “it factor”— the more comprehensive and nuanced “C-Factor”—if what you are offering doesn’t solve problems, enhance minds, or enhance

communities in some aspect. What makes you of value is how you add to the bigger picture in this little thing called life.

CONQUER IT:

Let us begin at ground zero, getting to the roots of your story and how you are changing the world. The following few pages are about penning your business biography.

Sometimes, it takes brainstorming a few words that can go on to become the foundation of our most profound media talking points. I am a big proponent of stretching out the nuances: the tiny details that set us on our path and made us who we are today. Childhood is a remarkable catalyst for conversation. The events of our younger years ultimately shaped us and brought us to this place today. As the lovely Nobel laureate poet Louise Glück surmises, “We look at the world once, in childhood. The rest is memory.”

Personally, what springs to mind from my childhood is the anguish I felt as a small girl on an arid summer’s afternoon in the north Australian countryside. I had wanted a pet so badly that I captured a butterfly in a glass jar and kept this glorious being, with its hints of ebony and tangerine wings, on my parents’ porch. I was beside myself with excitement that I had a new pet—I named him “Piano” because of his harmonious quality—only nobody had warned me that butterflies do not live a long life.

Just before supper—my goodness, I can still smell the rare-cooked kidney boiling in the kitchen—I ventured back to the porch. I looked up into the faded pink sky with its early freckling of dawn stars, then looked down to discover that my beloved butterfly, my Piano, was fluttering his wings strangely slow, like the last breaths of a dying old man.

Before my eyes, the breath went out. The wings stopped. Lifeless. I envisioned the pain of dying alone, panicked.

I wept so hard for Piano I could not speak, my body trembling not only over the loss of my new pet, but that in my taking him from the sky, I was to blame for such a sudden death. My mother called me for dinner, only I did not come. Instead, I sat in the grass and sobbed

over what I had done.

It was the first time I remember feeling grief. It was the first time I can recall experiencing guilt. It was the first time I understood that I too would die, and the first time I felt every vein in my body burst with the compassion of wanting to do all I could to not walk blindly while others suffered. That was the foundation that led me into the turbulent adult terrain as a journalist and writer immersed in human rights and war zone reporting. “Death of innocence” would be a concept I would encounter again and again the deeper I walked into the storm.

And now to your defining moments.

NAME

HOW

AND

WHERE YOU

CAME INTO THIS WORLD (For those who don’t know your birth story, it is a beautiful exercise in self-reflection to try to find out. Talk to your parents if you’re lucky enough to have them still around, or piece together your early narrative from those who know you. This exercise has a surprising impact on the way you view yourself and your lens on life.):

IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A DINNER PARTY WITH STRANGERS. HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE TO THEM WHAT YOU DO?

EXPLAIN TO THE DINNER PARTY GUESTS HOW YOU STARTED IN WHAT YOU DO AND GREW YOUR BRAND/SERVICE/OFFERING; THE BACKSTORY OF YOUR BRAND:

WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE AS AN INDIVIDUAL?

WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE AS A LEADER/FRONT RUNNER IN YOUR INDUSTRY?

SOMETHING YOU KNOW NOW THAT YOU WISH YOU HAD KNOWN BACK WHEN YOU WERE STARTING OUT:

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE WORLD NEEDS MORE OF?

HOW DO YOU OR YOUR BUSINESS HELP CONTRIBUTE TO THAT?

IN ONE PHRASE, DESCRIBE HOW YOU SOLVE PROBLEMS/ CONTRIBUTE TO THE BETTERMENT OF SOCIETY IN SOME WAY (Think Uber, which proclaims, “Get there: Your day belongs to you.” Walmart: “Save Money. Live Better.” Spotify: “Music For Everyone.”):

WHAT IS THE IDEAL AUDIENCE TO HEAR THIS MESSAGE? IF YOU COULD DELIVER A SPEECH IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE OF 100, WHAT WOULD THAT AUDIENCE LOOK LIKE?

WHAT ARE THE THREE CORE VALUES THAT YOU WOULD SHARE WITH YOUR IDEAL AUDIENCE?