February / March 2020
facebook.com/Ujima Magazine
P7 Why We Love Chocolate
twitter.com/Ujima Magazine
See The Light By Damita Miller-Shanklin
Nicole Conway wears many hats. She is an author, motivational speaker, Mental Health advocate, a professional model, Image consultant, and Brand Ambassador. To balance all that, she is a loving wife, mother, and grandmother. I admire her positive attitude, her love for life and loving herself. I had the chance to chat with Nicole and I was more inspired after we hung up. She is easy to talk with and relate to during our chat.
Can you give our readers a brief background of who you are? I was born in Seattle, WA and moved to Austin, TX at the age of 10 with my mother and younger sister. We relocated so my mother could attend UT to get her Ph.D. After relocating to Austin I attended L.L. Campbell, St. Mary's & LBJ and worked for the State of Texas for over 18 years. My husband and I relocated to New York in midJuly 2019. We have 6 children between us and 3 granddaughters. Tell our readers about your book Coco's Chronicles. Did it start your journey to self-reflection? Coco's Chronicles is a compilation of my testimonies, poems, scriptures, and quotes that I
NEWS
ART
C ULT URE
have experienced/read over the years. This book was birthed from my journey while I was suffering from mental illness. I felt it was time to share it with others who may be experiencing some of the same things. It was more of a healing outlet and something that I could share. During one of my earlier interviews, the interviewer said, "it's like having your sister friend on your nightstand and you can read it whenever you need it." I felt honored that it helped her in that way...I felt that what I set out to do was accomplished. Sometimes it is hard to love ourselves. What was your journey of loving yourself and therefore being able to help others? I was very self-conscious of myself growing up thinking I was overweight, too dark, my hair was nappy and I didn't think I was pretty. Many times I was compared to my little sister growing up because she was fair skin and I was darker. I remember this lady saying (looking at my sister), "oh she's so pretty" and then looking over at me and just smiling. My mother quickly corrected
ENTERTAINMENT
her and told her that both of my girls are pretty. You don't know how words impact you as you are growing up until you have to truly face yourself. Going through three nervous breakdowns and putting in "work" I was able to find myself. The last visit to Shoal Creek I promised God that when I was released from the hospital I would dedicate myself to helping those that are stuck in the darkness to see some light. Many people are looking for love from others without doing the work on themselves first. How has knowing who you are and loving yourself benefit your marriage? Doing the "work" first is so important before going into a marriage. Being a "whole" person will allow you to attract and manifest a "whole" person. I know everyone won't agree with me, but you attract to you who you are. It's a hard pill to swallow but as I look back on past
HEALTH & WELLNESS
COVER STORY CON’T ON P2
T R AV E L
FOO D
P U BL ISHE R' S J O U RN A L Valentine's Day is February 14th. However, I think the whole month should be celebrated. The act of love and loving someone is beautiful. Gifts of Love come in many different ways. Most people think of a gift of chocolate, flowers and a tasty romantic dinner. But what about showing love differently? The ways to show love can be a hug and kiss as you both leave for work, a shared joke that makes you both laugh until your stomach hurts, a simple "I Love You" will go a very long way,
never, ever, go to bed mad and the last two ways to show love is have two TV's set up so you can be together while watching what you like and lastly, each one of you wash your clothes. Don't roll your eyes, it works :) As you celebrate the month of love remember to do some of the things that show you love the person you share life with. It lasts longer than flowers, chocolates, and a great meal. #lovemonth #feb14 #valentinesday #ujimamagazine #ujimaatx #giftsoflove
Damita Miller-Shanklin FOUNDER/PUBLISHER Damita@Ujimamagazine.com
Ujima Magazine is a free news publication. Visit online at UjimaMagazine.com. For Advertising Opportunities email us at UjimaMagazine@gmail.com COVER STORY CON’T ...
relationships and analyze it, it's true. When you do the work before entering a relationship, you don't have to rely on the other person to make you whole. Then you can go through each other's luggage and unpack as you grow together. What are three ways you suggest women, especially, to start their journey of discovery of their true selves? • Being honest and forgiving your past. But in forgiving yourself, truly leaving it there and not picking it back up. • Going to a therapist to release the past, hurts and unpacking things that we have suppressed over the years. • After releasing those things figuring out what makes you happy, what you like to do, taking time to date yourself (movies, dinner, etc). Learning to spend time with yourself is so important to "loving" yourself. What does the word "love" mean to you? Love is truly an action word. It's easy to just say you love someone or even yourself, but you have to make p2
it a "movement". Not allowing the past mistakes to throw you off track into self-discovery and becoming all of who you are destined to become. It is a commitment that you have to make to yourself FIRST. Did the book help you look further into yourself? It was extremely hard to share my story in the book. But I knew I needed to be transparent to help myself and others.
imbalance. This was a very hurtful time but as I promised God, once I left Shoal Creek the last time, I would help others out of the darkness. What's coming up for you this year? I'm currently working on connecting with NAMI New Jersey (National Alliance on Mental Illness) to become a facilitator as well as a voice to those who are "voiceless". I
Many people in our community prefer to just overlook it. But Mental Illness is a chemical imbalance. How difficult was it to let people in and share your Mental Illness? It was very hard. The black community and the church had a judgemental spirit. When my mother told the church I was dealing with mental illness, no one called or checked on me. Many people in our community prefer to just overlook it. But Mental Illness is a chemical
will also be speaking on a panel for women sharing my story. Its an eight-city tour and it begins in May. I'm also going to seek out some runway work as well as styling here in New York. If you have any advice for someone who is looking for love and not sure why they are having a hard time, what would that advice be?
The biggest advice I can give is: DO THE WORK! If you don't do the work you won't attract who your heart desires. Being selective is great but sometimes we are "too selective" and we miss the very person that we are destined to be with only by looking at the surface. We forget that we are imperfect and are still a work in progress. Be patient with yourself, open your heart and don't allow it to be hardened from what has occurred in the past. Where can our readers find your book and where can they follow you? My book can be purchased on Amazon: "Coco's Chronicles: A Daily Dose of Inspiration For The Soul". https://www.amazon.com/CocosChronicles-Daily-Dose-Inspiration/ dp/1542469228 I want to thank Nicole for this insightful and genuine interview. Now go do the work!!! #nicoleconway #cocoschronicles #mentalhealth #author #loveyourself #ujimamagazine #ujimaatx #healing #transparent
UjimaMagazine.com
What Is Your Love Language By Damita Miller-Shanklin
Have you heard people say "it's my love language?" If you have you are one up on me. Hearing about love languages made me curious. There are five love languages: 1). Words of Affirmation 2). Acts of Service, 3). Receiving Gifts, 4). Quality Time, 5.) and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its way. Learning your partner's and your primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship. (cratedwithlove.com)
Gary Chapman wrote the book The Five Love Languages. while working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years. Chapman illustrates each love language with reallife examples from his counseling practice. There is a quiz you can take to get an idea of your love language. In full disclosure, I took the quiz and according to the outcome, my love language is 10 for Quality Time, 8 for Physical Touch, 8 for Words of Affirmation, 4 for Acts of Service and 0 Receiving Gifts. Go to https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/.
QUOTES From Local Black History Icons By Damita Miller-Shanklin In September of 2009, Ujima spoke with four Austin icons. We spoke with Mr. Edward Overton Doyle, Sr. a Tuskegee Airman, Dr. Charles Akins, Educator, Judge Harriet Murphy and my aunt Erma Williams an Educator. Each person gave us a quote to remember and I wanted to re-share those with you. Mr. Edward O. Doyle, Sr. When Mr. Doyle attended the premiere of the movie, The Tuskegee Airman, he said: "it's an experience you can't recreate and then you can't forget." Doyle was proud to be a part of this American history.
UjimaMagazine.com
There is a test for couples and singles. You can use your love language to better communicate and have a better relationship. This is an interesting concept. You can read more about it in the book or online. If you take the test, let me know what your love language is and how you will use it. Good luck. #5lovelanguages #garychapman #relationships #ujimaatx #ujimamagazine #loveandrelationships
Dr. Charles Akins Mr. Akins believed in every child receiving the best education. He was the principal at the newest L. C. Anderson High School. Mr. Akins stated, "emulate the very best. Be the very best." He believed parents should be active in their child's life in and out of school. Lastly, "Education is power." Judge Harriet Murphy Judge Murphy has worked for Civil Rights and has served on many boards and build many institutions in the Austin Community. She believed that you should always "act well your part because there all the honor lies." Mrs. Erma Williams Mrs. Erma Williams, who is also my aunt, is an educator. She taught in schools that did not have the basic amenities to schools that had things all children needed for a successful education. She believed "if you get an education you can demand certain things." She did inspire my life through education. There are many Austin Icons but we wanted to revisit four who inspired us to continue our journey taking a risk, fighting for rights of children, being a part of the Civil Rights fight and demanding more due to being educated.
p3
Mary Linnen | EDITOR
HEART CONSCIOUS Heart Disease Awareness Mayo Clinic The term "heart disease" is often used interchangeably with the term "cardiovascular disease." Cardiovascular disease generally refers to conditions that involve narrowed or blocked blood vessels that can lead to a heart attack, chest pain (angina) or stroke. Symptoms can include: ● Chest pain, chest tightness, chest pressure and chest discomfort (angina) ● Shortness of breath ● Pain, numbness, weakness or coldness in your legs or arms if the blood vessels in those parts of your body are narrowed ● Pain in the neck, jaw, throat, upper abdomen or back You might not be diagnosed with cardiovascular disease until you have a heart attack, angina, stroke or heart failure. It's important to watch for cardiovascular symptoms and discuss concerns with your doctor. Cardiovascular disease can sometimes be found early with regular evaluations. One option to assist you is a stent a small mesh tube that holds open passages in the body, such as weak or narrow arteries. Stents are often used to treat narrowed coronary arteries that supply the heart with oxygen-rich blood. The stent holds open the narrowed arteries to allow adequate blood to flow to the heart. Speak to your doctor about your heart concerns and if you are diagnosed with cardiovascular disease, ask your doctor if a stent would be a good option for you.
Seniors and the Importance of Balance Balance problems are among the most common reasons that older adults seek help from a doctor. Having good balance means being able to control and maintain your body's position, whether you are moving or remaining still. If you have a balance disorder, you might experience other symptoms such as: � Dizziness or vertigo � Falling or feeling as if you are going to fall � Lightheadedness, faintness, or a floating sensation � Blurred vision Try these simple exercises to help you maintain balance Single Limb Stance Stand behind a steady, solid chair (not one with wheels), and hold on to the back of it. Lift up your right foot and balance on your left foot. Hold that position for as long as you can, then switch feet. Marching in Place Marching is a great balance exercise for seniors. If you need to hold onto something, do this exercise in front of a counter. Standing straight, lift your right knee as high as you can. Lower it, then lift the left leg. Lift and lower your legs 20 times. Consult with a physical therapist if you need a detailed program to improve your balance. Therapist Daniel Jazreel
Take care of your heart! #heartdisease #cardiovasculardisease #stent #heardiseaseawarenessmonth #ujimaatx #ujimamagazine p4
See complete story with a complete list of exercises on ujimamagazine.com
UjimaMagazine.com
WHAT IS ENDOMETRIOSIS?
E
ndometriosis (en-doeme-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue similar to the tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus. Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, fallopian tubes and the tissue lining your pelvis. Rarely, endometrial tissue may spread beyond pelvic organs. Endometriosis can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during menstrual periods. Fertility problems also may develop. Fortunately, effective treatments are available. What are the common signs and symptoms? ● Painful periods (dysmenorrhea). ● Pain with intercourse. ● Pain with bowel movements or urination. ● Excessive bleeding. ● Infertility.
The Love Language of Aromatherapy Sparkleofsunshine.com
During this month of love with the celebration of Valentine's, you may be looking for a way to entice the one you love. One of the ways to do that is through aromatherapy. You may wonder what are some good aromatherapy oils that smell good and what do each one mean. Here are a few When to see your doctor? See your doctor if you have signs and symptoms that may indicate endometriosis. Endometriosis can be a challenging condition to manage. An early diagnosis, a multidisciplinary medical team and an understanding of your diagnosis may result in better management of your symptoms. #endometriosis #healthandwellness #ujimaatx #ujimamagazine
THE LOVE FOR CRAFT BEER Craft Beer has become a thing. The most common classic ale styles that have defined modern American craft brewing over the years: • American Pale Ale • American IPA • Stouts and Porters • Brown Ale • Amber or Red Ale • American Wheat & Hefeweizen • Belgian Pale, Dubbel, Tripel, and Quadrupel. If you are a beer drinker and you want to expand your repertoire, try a Craft Beer. We would love to hear what you think.
ROSE - The rose is the most common flower associated with love. If you want romance, rose essential oil is a great place to start. It’s strong yet sweet floral scent is romantic and known to stir up feelings of desire and love. JASMINE - Jasmine essential oil has been used for years for its aphrodisiac properties. It’s floral, exotic fragrance is said to arouse feelings of passion and desire. SANDALWOOD - Sandalwood essential oil is another great oil that will inspire love on Valentine’s Day. This oil is perfect for men thanks to its woodsy exotic scent. It’s a great oil to inhale to ease the body and mind into relaxation. YLANG YLANG - This sensual oil can enhance your sexual experience while also balancing emotion and boosting mood. Combine 2 drops Ylang Ylang with 2 drops Sandalwood essential oil to create a massage oil your partner will likely never forget! SENSATION BLEND - Young Living’s Sensation Blend oil is a treat to the senses on Valentine’s Day. This blend combines essential oils specifically for the purpose of inspiring love and affection, including Ylang Ylang and Coriander. A new and fresh Sensation blend can bring something unique and memorable to your day. If you love using oils to raise the senses for a loving evening, try these suggestions and see what happens :)
#craftbeeratx #loveofbeer #ujimamagazine #ujimaatx #lovemonth
#loveoils #aromatherapyoflove #ujimamagazine #ujimaatx UjimaMagazine.com
p5
Love Should Never Hurt
F
● Your child begins to dress differently. (Loveisrespect.com)
Teen dating violence is the physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional abuse within a dating relationship among adolescents. (Wikipedia)
There are ways parents and friends can assist ● Listen and give support ● Accept what your child is telling you. ● Show concern ● Talk about the behaviors, not the person ● Avoid ultimatums ● Be prepared ● Decide on next steps together
ebruary is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. As we celebrate love, there are teens in relationships that physically and emotionally abusive.
As a parent or friend, there are warning signs your teen may be in an abusive relationship ● Your child’s partner is extremely jealous or possessive. ● You notice unexplained marks or bruises. ● Your child’s partner emails or texts excessively. ● You notice that your child is depressed or anxious. ● Your child stops participating in extracurricular activities or other interests. ● Your child stops spending time with other friends and family. ● Your child’s partner abuses other people or animals. p6
Teen Dating Violence remains a serious issue that has to be addressed. Be diligent in speaking with your teen and monitoring their behavior to ensure they are safe and being treated with respect and love. 1-866-331-9474 or Text* loveis (capitalization does not matter) to 22522. #teendatingviolence #loveshouldnothurt #noviolence #ujimaatx #ujimamagazine
UjimaMagazine.com
CHOCOLATE GOOD OR BAD medicalnewstoday.com According to a review of chocolate and its health effects published in the Netherlands Journal of Medicine, the report was not all bad news.
Romance novels have been around for many years. As with any type of book, a romance novel helps you escape to a reality where finding the perfect love and the happy ever after exist. What about the Black Romance novelist? They do exist and they are making a mark in the genre of the romance world. Here is a shortlist of Black Romance novels you want to place on your reading list for 2020.
The authors point to the discovery that cocoa, the key ingredient in chocolate, contains biologically active phenolic compounds. Research has stimulated questions into how it might impact aging, and conditions such as oxidative stress, blood pressure regulation, and atherosclerosis. The higher the cocoa content, as in dark chocolate, the more benefits there are. Dark chocolate may also contain less fat and sugar, but it is important to check the label. Eating chocolate may have the following benefits: � lowering cholesterol levels � preventing cognitive decline � reducing the risk of cardiovascular problems More research is needed to confirm that eating chocolate can really improve people's health. So if you get chocolate as a gift a snack or just a craving, enjoy guiltfree because it may not be such a bad thing!
Her Billion Dollar Man 2 by Rochelle Williams- The book revolves around a couple that seems to have the perfect relationship, but the groom is holding back from setting a wedding date. Why? Saving Grace by Shannon GardenerThis is a Christian romance. Grace has a rough past but found comfort in finding God. She meets a rich deacon but their different backgrounds and views raise many issues for them. The Billionaire's Arranged Baby by Rochelle Williams- Andrew is a rich guy that has an extravagant lifestyle. When his father passes away, he has to marry Eva and have a baby to receive his inheritance.
The Joy Of Napping By Ana Garza I know sleeping is good for you. It restores your body and mind and it helps with alertness during the day. The recommended amount is 7-9 hours a night but let’s be real…I don’t get that much-uninterrupted sleep. For some reason when night time gets here and I’m lying in bed that’s when my brain starts acting up. I think about the time in 9th grade when I should have UjimaMagazine.com
told my classmate to stop cheating off my paper. Or the lady at the grocery store last weekend who elbowed me out of the way to get in line in front of me and why I let her get away with it. For some reason napping on a weekend works for me and it makes me extremely happy. The National Sleep Foundation says 20 minutes is an ideal nap, but they’ve never met me so I’m here to tell you that amount is for Horses that nap in 15 to 20
minutes’ chunks. I love naps. Saturday, chores are done, errands have been taken care of and dinner is a few hours away. Comfy loungewear, the room is cool with the fan blowing and I shiver in anticipation. I circle my
Money Over Everything by Rochelle Williams- Can she trust a man who values money over everything? The Sound of Love by Kayla ClarkeOnce she spoke, he knew he needed her. Again, this is a shortlist of Black authors that write romance novels. Fall in love with couples that look like you and are relatable. Black love is real. Let us know if you have read any of these titles and give us your feedback. #blackromancenovelist #romancenovels #blackloveisreal #fallinlove #ujimaatx #ujimamagazine #theSister.com
bed like a cat, chenille throw in my arms and maybe a book to lull me to sleep. I climb on top of the covers (under is only at night) and snuggle in a mountain of pillows, I sigh deeply and smile. My dreams during nap time are funny, busy and usually don’t make any sense. That’s ok. Ninety minutes later I’m up and I stretch, slowly waking up my body and restoring circulation. Oh My! Do I get to do it again on Sunday? Maybe. #anagarza #napping #relaxation #ujimaatx #ujimamagazine p7
Fried Catfish By Mary Linnen
Talking to people about their favorite things almost always leads to food. The winner this time was fried catfish, one of my favorites as well. Even if you don’t fry as a rule every once in a while you deserve a treat!! Ingredients: 2lbs fresh catfish fillets 1 1/2 cups yellow cornmeal 1 tsp all-purpose flour 1 tsp onion powder 1 tsp garlic powder Canola oil can be used for frying