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Copyright © 2015 by Christie Garton
Cover and internal design © 2015 by Sourcebooks, Inc.
Cover design by Jillian Rahn/Sourcebooks, Inc.
Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. From a Declaration ofPrinciples Jointly Adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee ofPublishers andAssociations
All brand names and product names used in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names of their respective holders. Sourcebooks, Inc., is not associated with any product or vendor in this book.
Published by Sourcebooks, Inc.
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Originally published as U Chic: The College Girl’s Guide to Everything in 2009 by Sourcebooks, Inc. © 2009, 2011, 2013 by Christie Garton.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Garton, Christie.
Uchic college girls : real advice for your first year (and beyond) / Christie Garton. -- Fourth edition. pages cm Includes index.
1. College student orientation--United States. 2. Women college students--United States--Life skills guides. I. Title. LB2343.32.G39 2015 378.1′98--dc23
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 3—HEAD OF THE CLASS
TIPS AND TRICKS FOR MAKING THE PERFECT CLASS SCHEDULE
HOW TO GET TO THE TOP
WHICH MAJOR IS FOR ME?
F.I.N.A.L.S.: FUDGE, I NEVER ACTUALLY LEARNED SQUAT!
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 4—GETTING INVOLVED
DITCH THE DORM, GET A LIFE!
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
TIPS FOR THE BUSY STUDENT ATHLETE
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 5—SORORITY CHIC
LIFE AS A GREEK
GOING GREEK 101
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 6—TECH ESSENTIALS FOR AN INSTAGRAM AGE
HOW TO PROTECT YOUR DIGITAL REPUTATION
SOCIAL MEDIA’S DARK SIDE
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 7—LOVE LIFE
THE SCOOP ON THE COLLEGE DATING SCENE
DIGITAL RULES FOR DATING
LONG-DISTANCE LOVE
IS LOVE POSSIBLE IN AN AGE OF HOOKUPS?
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 8—STAYING HEALTHY AND SAFE
SEX ED 101
OVER-THE-TOP PARTY PALS AND WAYS TO DEAL
DEALING WITH A DISABILITY ON CAMPUS
STAYING FIT IN COLLEGE
STAYING SAFE ON CAMPUS
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 9—IF THE GOING GETS TOUGH
OVERCOMING MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES
DEALING WITH DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ON CAMPUS
FACING SEXUAL HARASSMENT
SPEAKING UP AND SPEAKING OUT: ENDING SEXUAL ASSAULT ON CAMPUS
WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE FAILING
HOW TO DECIDE IF TRANSFERRING IS THE RIGHT DECISION
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 10—MONEY MATTERS
THE INS AND OUTS OF FINANCIAL AID
AVOIDING THE CREDIT CARD BLACK HOLE
LIVING FABULOUSLY ON A BUDGET
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 11—THE COLLEGE PERKS
SECRETS FOR LANDING THAT TOP INTERNSHIP
USING SUMMERS WISELY
WHEN TO GO ABROAD
SPRING BREAK OR BUST!
UCHICESSENTIALS
CHAPTER 12—WHAT’S NEXT?
GRAD SCHOOL OR CAREER? HOW TO DECIDE
THE INS AND OUTS OF NETWORKING
MOVING IN WITH THE PARENTS: HOW TO MAKE IT WORK
SAY BYE-BYE TO GRADUATION ANXIETY
UCHICESSENTIALS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
CONTRIBUTORS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ABOUT UCHIC
STAYING AHEAD DOES NOT INCLUDE CHEATING
PICKING UP STORIES AND GUYS
FOR THE FUTURE MADAM PRESIDENT
ON- AND OFF-CAMPUS EXTRACURRICULARS
WHY FOLLOWING YOUR INTERESTS MATTERS
THE NEW WAY TO TRAVEL: VOLUNTOURISM
SISTERHOOD: A LIFELONG COMMITMENT
GREEK SPEAK
HOW TO LOOK YOUR BEST DURING SORORITY RECRUITMENT
PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM IDENTITY THEFT
FRIENDING AND UN-FRIENDING: THE RULES OF THE GAME
THE DOS AND DON’TS OF ONLINE DATING
TAKING A STAND ON ONE-NIGHT STANDS
WHY I CHOSE ABSTINENCE IN COLLEGE
SMARTPHONES AND SAFETY: AVOID PROVIDING TMI
PREVENTING THEFT ON CAMPUS
NOTHING SAYS CRAZY LIKE YOUR VERY OWN STALKER
DEALING WITH DEPRESSION
WHAT TO DO IF YOU OR A FRIEND IS SUICIDAL
THE DANGERS OF EATING DISORDERS
DANGEROUS DEPENDENCY: PRESCRIPTION DRUGS
DITCHING THE VICTIM LABEL
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR FRIEND HAS BEEN RAPED
HOW I MANAGED SCHOOL AND A PART-TIME JOB
INTERNSHIPS: IT’S ALL ABOUT THE SMALL STUFF
FUNDING SUMMER INTERNSHIPS
MORE WAYS TO USE YOUR SUMMER WISELY
WHY I CHOSE MY CAREER OVER GRAD SCHOOL
NETWORKING: PLAN YOUR ATTACK
FINDING INSPIRATION IN VIRTUAL MENTORS
GETTING READY FOR THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE
From the moment I got my acceptance letter to college, I couldn’t stop thinking about my new life that was about to begin. The end of high school could not come fast enough. As excited as I was, I was also a bit anxious. This would be the first time in four years that boys would be in the same classroom with me. This would be my first time ever wearing normal clothes to class. And on top of that, thinking about the new experience of living with three girls I had never met before and being away from my family made me a bundle of nerves. I did my best to hide my anxiety behind my excitement to start a new chapter in my life.
I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I cried hysterically when my mom drove away from my dorm. It was then that I realized I wouldn’t be seeing her the next day. I was being a bit dramatic, but I couldn’t repress how I felt any longer. I had this fantasy that college was going to be a perfect place, and a chance for a new beginning. I think if I had spent more time appreciating my senior year of high school, instead of building up pretend scenarios about college in my mind, I would not have freaked out as much. I learned that the most important expectation you can have about college is that you have to be flexible.
After three years at Barnard, I knew that I loved where I was, but I always wondered, “What if I had gone to Brown?” Well, I went to visit a friend of mine who attends Brown last year. The campus was as beautiful as I had remembered. Providence is a great town, and I really liked the people. But there was something missing for me this time. If I had gone to Brown, I never would have been able to take a writing class where Rachel Weiss made an appearance so we could learn the art of interviewing. I would never have been able to spend my semesters interning at the New York Times, and I would not have been able to hop on a subway and see a Tony-winning play and then come back to campus and hang out at a dorm party later in the evening. I would have missed out on so many different and wonderful opportunities.
And the funny part of this story is that my friend who goes to Brown chose it because she hadn’t gotten into Columbia University in New York City. After I had been going on and on about how much I loved going to school in the city and how much I love Barnard, she said, “If I had gone to Columbia, I would have been lost. Brown was such a better fit.”
I know it’s cheesy to remind you of the old saying that you’ll end up where you were meant to be, but it’s kind of true. Somehow, even if the school you end up going to isn’t the one you thought you wanted, it may end up being the best fit.
WHEN THINGS DON’T GO AS PLANNED
My freshman year I had a set schedule. I was a cheerleader and worked part time on top of taking a full courseload. It was perfect for my type-A personality. Even to this day, I thrive on routines. This routine turned out to be critical in helping me get used to my new life in college.
However, even with a set schedule and routine, you can’t plan for everything. Life happens and you can either go with it or fight against it. I started at Manhattan College as a business management major. I never would have expected this to happen, but the spring semester of my freshman year, I failed a math class that I needed for my major! I was devastated. I had never gotten a grade lower than a B+, let alone failed a class. I called my mom and she told me I’d have to pay my own way in order to retake the class. So I got a job on campus that summer. I worked full time and saved enough to
retake the class. But guess what happened. Even though I had enough money to retake the class, my gut was telling me not to register for it. Was I scared I would fail again? Or was there an even bigger issue? Was this major not right for me?
BEING FLEXIBLE WITH EXPECTATIONS
I spent that fall semester miserable with my classes, but comfortable with my routine. I still had that uneasy feeling in my gut that I may have picked the wrong major.
A friend told me how he was minoring in communications, and that he was loving it; I was instantly intrigued. I made an appointment with the School of Arts advisor and brought up the question of switching majors. I would still have to make up the credit, but it would be a science class. And I was more interested in science than math. Even after talking with the advisor I was hesitant to change the “plan” I had made for myself during my senior year of high school. It took some time, but I realized I was a different person than I had been two years ago. In a matter of months, I had changed. A few signatures later, I was in the School of Arts, majoring in communications with a public relations concentration.
College sticker just so she could say hello. Once she got close, filled with excitement, she jumped out of her own car to shout, “My Sister!”
BE PREPARED FOR A CHALLENGE
Students in a black college must be ready to combat the belief that our education is not as challenging as other college academic programs. It most definitely is. Our academics are equally as challenging and serve as an equivalent preparation for life.
What is different are the unique academic offerings that you’ll find at an HBCU. A black college is one of the few places where books such as Gender as Analytical Category by Beverly Guy-Sheftall or Aimé Césaire’s Discourse on Colonialism can truly educate and empower you. This knowledge is a rarity and a treasure. We are so fortunate at HBCUs for this kind of enlightenment to be our foundation. When I was a senior in high school, a recruiter from Tuskegee University shared this fact with me. At the time, I understood the message, but now, attending Spelman, I understand its truth.
There is something really unique and special about students at an HBCU that no one adjective can pinpoint. The one thing that binds us together the most is not race but our potential and vision. Some may argue that all college students are bound for something great in their future. This is probably true, but the future for students in HBCUs is more than a future. It is a destiny. Everything we do is powerful. Your time in an HBCU will be incredible! There is a persona and a mystique that will be with you forever, and it cannot be found anywhere else. So welcome. We are waiting.
my “failure” I actually see it as a success because it was through my communication courses that I found my strength as a writer. Trust me, life in college didn’t instantly become a breeze after I changed my major. There were a few more hurdles along the way, but it was worth it. Those experiences made me who I am today.
My advice is to savor every moment of the journey of college. Embrace setbacks you may face along the way. Find a support system of friends, professors, mentors and, of course, your family members to pick you back up. Be willing to do the work, but also be open to changing course when needed. Don’t worry if your plans change, because they will. After all, that is why you are in college— to figure your dreams out and then make a plan to go for them. Sometimes life isn’t what we expect it to be; sometimes it is so much more.
Insightsprovidedby Susan Fiorentino, Manhattan College
WHAT TO DO THE SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE
Preparing for college is sort of like getting ready for a big trip. There are things to pack, good-byes to say, and plans to coordinate before taking off. While most people (myself included) picture the summer before college as one big graduation party/bonfire/sleepover before parting ways, the reality is that there are several tedious preparations you need to undertake before heading to campus. Here are some tips that can help you along the way.
MEET THE FUTURE ROOMMATE
I didn’t get to meet my roommates until orientation. But thanks to technology we began chatting, brainstorming, and organizing our dorm before we met in person. (Thanks, social media!) We made a group Pinterest board with room ideas for our suite. We made a Google Doc with major dorm items that each person was bringing, and we had a group chat running to make it easier for all four of us to stay in touch. I had friends who met their new roommates for lunch or coffee one afternoon. This was doable because they both lived close to campus. This provided them with just a little more confidence heading into move-in weekend and orientation.
I had my mind set on avoiding the infamous “Freshman 15,” but I soon realized that staying healthy at school was so much more than worrying about gaining weight. I had to make sure I had all of the shots and tests required by my school, in addition to medications I needed to have with me in my dorm. I also made a little “pharmacy basket,” with Tylenol, allergy medicine, a thermometer, Tums, extra contacts, and Band-Aids to have with me, as I wouldn’t have a car on campus. It’s also a good idea to have a physical before you leave, just to make sure that you’re caught up with your doctor and health plan—surprises once getting to school are not fun!
LIFE SKILLS TO DEVELOP
Unless you like learning the hard way, you should learn how to do laundry before you go off to college. (Yes, there are a few among us that still don’t know how to do laundry.) I can be a little messy, so my mom taught me how to get tough stains out and gave me a little guide with home remedies for different spills. These tips helped. I didn’t shrink any jeans or turn white clothes pink. Thanks to tapping mom’s expertise on these matters, I was confident going into school. Also, watch for notes from housing or your RA addressing details about laundry. During the semester I had to switch from laundry pods to regular detergent because of the type of washing machine in my dorm. Those notes can make all the difference.
simple jewelry, and leather belts that will keep the same outfits looking new and fresh, even if you have to repeat them twice in one week. To save money, check out stores like T.J.Maxx, Filene’s Basement, or Saks OFF 5th, where you can always find great deals and unique pieces.
TIP 6: PLAN FOR THE SEASONS
If you’re attending a school in a climate where you’ll see all four seasons, you’ll need to plan accordingly. If possible, consider swapping out warm- and cold-weather wardrobes during trips home or by coordinating FedEx or UPS shipments with your parents.
TIP 7: GET THE GEAR
Maximizing your closet space is essential. Organizational accessories like a second rod for your closet (it hangs from the built-in rod and doubles your hanging space), a belt hanger (doubles as a purse hanger), quality plastictube hangers, and a hanging shoe rack can help you get the most out of your closet space. Space Bags (www.spacebag.com) can be a good alternative for storing bulky things like coats and sweaters until they are needed.
TIP 8: LEARN BY TRIAL AND ERROR
Many girls change their style a bit after spending a few weeks or months on campus, and some (like myself) simply realize that those cute leather flats aren’t friendly to their feet during their daily treks to class. You’ll learn what works and what doesn’t as the year goes on.
With a little planning and creativity, you’ll be able to create a college wardrobe that meets your lifestyle needs and keeps you looking stylish, even when space is limited.
Another thing that I found helpful was acquiring car knowledge before heading to college. I was riding home once with a friend who got a flat tire. Thankfully, my dad had taught me how to change a tire before I left. Just the basic oil-checking and tire-changing knowledge made a big difference when friends were in a pinch. And while it may sound strange, I was also given a toolbox before moving in, and I used it all the time. And bonus! It doubled as an icebreaker and networking opportunity when my roommates and girls down the hall needed it from time-to-time.
ADVENTURE PREP
I quickly realized that leaving for school meant taking on a whole new set of adventures. There were weekend retreats, outdoor trips, and opportunities to get involved in the local, national, and international communities. Make sure you have an up-to-date passport before leaving for school. There are so many alternative spring breaks, interim session trips, and study abroad opportunities. Don’t procrastinate. Get your passport! Not having it in time can prevent you from going on the trip of a lifetime. Plus, it’s always good to have another form of ID for future employers and internship opportunities.
IT’S JUST: “SEE YOU LATER…”
The worst part of preparing for college is saying good-bye to people who have been your lifelines, sidekicks, brunch bunch, and your biggest cheerleaders. It’s hard to imagine starting over without them by your side. A lot of my best friends from high school have been close friends since preschool—how was I supposed to say good-bye to them? My solution: “See you soon.” Maybe it’s cheesy, but it’s ohso-true. The people closest to your heart will still be there despite the miles between you. There are group messages, email chains, tweets, Snapchats, and Google+ Hangouts to keep you close.
When it comes to how to actually say good-bye, I found that dinners at home with close friends were the best way to chat and get the hugs (and tears) out of the way. I tried to squeeze too many people into my last week at home, though, and ended up feeling overwhelmed. To avoid that, plan a little gathering that feels best for you, and know that it isn’t forever.
As for saying good-bye to your parents? Know that they have prepared you for this very moment. I was so nervous when my parents dropped me off, but I realized that they are just a call or text away. They’ll always be your biggest fans and support team, no matter what. This life change is a new adventure for them too.
It’s a crazy whirlwind getting ready to go off on your own to college, but there are ways to make the process easier. Make checklists and schedule errand runs ahead of time. The last summer goes by quickly. With some time management and preparation, you’ll still find time to enjoy it!
Insightsprovidedby
SarahDougherty, University ofAlabama–Tuscaloosa
profile picture of her wearing a Science Olympiad tee), and the “Tomboy” (the tough-looking lacrosse and hockey pics said it all).
Sure, me and my friends from high school found the whole thing amusing, but imagine my shock when I met them in the flesh and all my expectations and prejudgments flew right out the window. One of my most important tips for preparing for college is not to make any judgments about anyone or anything before you get there. When it comes to roommates especially, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect your roommate to be your best friend, or you could be missing out on a potentially great relationship because you’ve already decided that your roommate is too different from you and you’re not going to get along.
To avoid falling into either of those traps, here are some tips for how to get to know your roommate before you leave for college— and how to arrive on campus with an open mind.
ICEBREAKERS THAT WON’T LEAVE YOU OUT IN THE COLD
The key to getting to know your new roommate is to be proactive. Don’t wait until a few weeks before school starts to drop her a line— do it as soon as you have her information sitting right in front of you. Introduce yourself via email/Facebook, chat up your background a bit (keep it brief), and start facilitating a conversation about the logistics of living together. Something as simple as offering to bring your DVD player can spark a dialogue about which movies you both like (just one surefire way to get a sense of who and what your new roomie is all about).
Tip 1: Break the Ice
While it’s fine to talk a bit about yourself, do make sure to ask her questions and genuinely think about the responses you get before you make any judgments. If she’s your total carbon copy, great. But if not, that doesn’t mean the two of you won’t get along. Keep in
mind, this is just as weird and awkward for her, so it might take a little while before she warms up and starts sharing more personal things.
Tip 2: Dip Your Toes in
Once you’ve established an email relationship, take the next step and suggest a weekly phoner. This is your chance to talk about more in-depth topics like class schedules, room decor options, likes, dislikes, and personal pet peeves. Be honest—not brutal. If she’s obsessed with Hello Kitty and has her heart set on an all-pink bedroom, this is the time to gently let her know that’s not your thing, but you’re open to compromise. The same thing goes for any obvious personality quirks that may derail your relationship down the road. If she’s the ultimate social butterfly and you’re a total bookworm, don’t be afraid to speak up and let her know you prefer not to have any guests over while you’re trying to study.
