Daily Vanguard October 28, 2009

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2009 • PORTLAND STATE UNIVERSITY • VOLUME 64, ISSUE 26

Event of the day “ASPS-WHO?” An event where students can meet their student government officials and get involved.

When: 10 a.m. to noon Where: SMSU, room 228

WWW.DAILYVANGUARD.COM • FREE

INSIDE NEWS Veterans may not know what they’re missing First veterans services officer on campus PAGE 2 The Daily Cut Your world in brief PAGE 3

ARTS

Philosophy as jest Cathcart and Klein’s new book makes death a laughing matter PAGE 4

House trained Tiger House plays the music without the attitude problem PAGE 5

OPINION

Sign of the times The “Made in Oregon” sign is up for grabs PAGE 6 The Rant and Rage Driving me up the wall PAGE 6

From blueprints to green buildings New lab to benefit engineering, architecture departments

The lab will include sensing and logging monitors for indoor environmental quality and tracking capabilities that determine how buildings respond to varying conditions, including how occupant beCarrie Johnston havior affects building energy use.

Vanguard staff “The lab provides opportunities across the spectrum for students, Portland State’s engineering defaculty, industry and the commupartment recently received funding nity to be involved with and benefit from the Oregon University System, from applied research into enOregon BEST and the James F. and hancing the energy and environMarion L. Miller Foundation for a mental performance of buildings,” new laboratory to research sustainsaid David Sailor, associate profesable buildings. sor of mechaniAn open house cal and materials for the lab was engineering. held Sep. 14, 2009. Key Green Building Sailor explained Housed in Research Lab equipment that the lab has the Maseeh Colseveral elements to lege of EngineerInfrared thermography its mission. Among ing building on them is to faciliSouthwest Fourth Indoor environmental quality tate research for Avenue and Colsensors the development lege Street, the Low-speed wind tunnel and testing of new new Green BuildBuilding energy simulation technologies used ing Research Lab Energy monitoring/logging in high-perforexamines the mance buildings impact of buildequipment and to apply this ings on the urban research to the inenvironment. dustry of green buildings.

The engineering building itself is As an industry resource, it serves Leadership in Energy and Environas a lending laboratory where partmental Design certified, featuring ners can borrow equipment for geothermal heating and cooling, and monitoring performance of indoor storm water collected from the roof environment and building systems. used to flush toilets.

As an educational resource, it serves According to Oikos, a green as a hands-on laboratory for use in building news Web site, the lab courses within the building sciences “positions the state to establish a focuses of Portland State’s engineerresearch center of national proming and architecture departments. inence, and offer Oregon’s green Typical projects will include evalubuilding businesses access to adations of thermal performance of vanced research tools, expertise phase-change materials for use in and better trained employees.” buildings, using infrared cameras to The aim of the new lab is to enassess thermal bridging problems in hance students’ interaction with buildings and monitoring the perthe growing green-building indusformance of super-insulated “passive try and establish Oregon as a leader house” buildings, Sailor said. in this technology.

An engineering course, ME423: Fundamentals of Building Science, will be taught in the lab during winter term 2010. It will also accommodate some advanced courses in architecture.

The Green Building Resource Lab has a few ongoing projects, including monitoring studies in a super-insulated building, green roof performance and indoor environmental quality measurements with several local schools.

The engineering department is also working with the School of Chemical, Biological and Environmental Engineering at Oregon State University to characterize radioactive properties of materials they are developing for photovoltaic energy generation.

The lab provides a research model for the state that will boost the local economy, facilitate engineering education and, ultimately, will provide jobs.

All photos by Rodrigo Melgarejo/Portland State Vanguard

Hands-on lab: The LEED-certified lab examines the impact of buildings on urban environments.

Vanguard 2 | News October 28, 2009

Sarah J. Christensen Editor-in-Chief Danielle Kulczyk News Editor Theodora Karatzas Arts & Culture Editor Richard D. Oxley Opinion Editor Robert Britt Sports Editor Shannon Vincent Production Manager Marni Cohen Photo Editor Zach Chastaine Online Editor Jennifer Wolff Chief Copy Editor Jennifer Wolff Calendar Editor Matthew Kirtley Advertising Manager Judson Randall Adviser Ann Roman Advertising Adviser Illustrator Kira Meyrick Marketing Manager Kelsey Chinen Associate News Editor Virginia Vickery Production Assistants Bryan Morgan, Charles Cooper Williams

Writers Kate Alexander, William Blackford, Bianca Blankenship, Alanna Connor, Meaghan Daniels, Erica DeCouteau, Mariah FryeKeele, Joel Gaddis, Natalia Grozina, Patrick Guild, Rosemary Hanson, Steve Haske, Ed Johnson, Carrie Johnston, Mark Johnston, Tamara K. Kennedy, Anita Kinney, Katie Kotsovos, Gogul Krishnan, J. Logue, James MacKenzie, Holly Millar, Sean Rains, Stephanie Fine Sasse, Wendy Shortman, Nilesh Tendolkar, Robin Tinker, Vinh Tran, Virginia Vickery, Allison Whited Photographers Aaron Leopold, Rodrigo Melgarejo, Liana Shewey, Adam Wickham Copy Editor Robert Seitzinger Advertising Sales Matthew Kirtley, Ana SanRoman, Jae Specht, Wesley Van Der Veen Advertising Designer Shannon Vincent Contact Editor-in-Chief 503-725-5691 editor@dailyvanguard.com Advertising Manager 503-725-5686 ads@dailyvanguard.com The Vanguard is chartered to publish four days a week as an independent student newspaper by the PSU Publications Board. Views and editorial content expressed herein are those of the staff, contributors and readers, and do not necessarily represent those of the PSU student body, faculty, staff or administration. One copy of the Vanguard is provided free of charge to all community members, additional copies or subcription issues may incur a 25 cent charge. The Vanguard is printed on 40 percent post-consumer recycled paper.

Copyright © 2009 Portland State University Vanguard 1825 SW Broadway, Smith Memorial Student Union, Rm. S-26, Portland, Ore., 97201

NEWS

Veterans may not know what they’re missing First veterans services officer on campus Tamara K. Kennedy Vanguard staff

Portland State currently houses the first permanent veterans services officer in the Oregon University System. Ron Kincaid, the new VSO, expects to spend about 75 percent of his time on campus at Portland State.

Kincaid services approximately 141,952 veterans the largest region—Region One—in Oregon, which encompasses the Portland metropolitan area, east to the Columbia Gorge and west to Astoria and Tillamook.

Although there was a pilot program one year ago at Portland State, this program is more structured and permanent, Kincaid said.

Currently a civilian, Kincaid served in the first gulf war as a Navy corpsman medic with the Marine Corps as he completed four years of active and four years of inactive duty.

Kincaid has helped veterans from World War I to the present for the last 15 years.

“I will assist with all benefits that are available to veterans, including education, compensation, in-service injuries or illness,” Kincaid said. “If a veteran comes in with a bullet wound they are having trouble with, I would assist them with their claim.”

Kincaid said if the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs denies a claim, he could assist with appeals.

Kincaid went on to explain how

veterans could be missing out on their benefits.

“A lot of veterans in Oregon do not know that they have benefits,” Kincaid said.

Sometimes benefits are available to dependents of veterans. A housing stipend can be transferable to dependents under certain conditions, Kincaid said.

VA benefits include loan guarantees, and state benefits have home loan program and education assistance, Kincaid said.

“I expect a big influx of veterans coming here because of the new Post 9/11 G.I. Bill,” Kincaid said. “It is the best G.I. bill since post World War II.” Kevin Hershey, president of the Student Veteran Association, is excited to have a VSO on campus.

“He is an immediate contact,” Hershey said. “Having a VSO really reduces the amount of stress a veteran might be experiencing. Before, if somebody came to me with an issue, I would point them toward the VA Hospital or the federal building because I am not equipped to handle specific situations.”

Now, many situations can be taken care of without the student leaving campus, Kincaid said.

Hershey said Robert Hindahl, veterans certification officer, is a big help, but he is limited to finances in the scholastic realm.

All vets and friends or family members are encouraged to stop by Kincaid’s office.

“I will not turn away a vet’s dependent or someone that is trying to assist a veteran,” Kincaid said.

Veterans services Smith Memorial Student Union, room 425 503-725-3876 veteransservices@pdx.edu

Aaron Leopold/Portland State Vanguard

Ron Kincaid: Kincaid is the first permanent veterans services officer in the Oregon University System.

CAMPUS CONNECTIONS News for students, by students

The Daily Emerald : Why mating matters A new study in worms may help explain why sexual reproduction with a partner beats going it alone, evolutionarily speaking of course.

Through a three-year experiment, university professor Patrick Phillips has answered the question of why two sexes exist and why they are so important to reproducing and adaptation.

The answer? Sexual reproduction as opposed to asexual reproduction leads to decreased susceptibility to genetic mutations.

Although the answer might seem obvious, scientists behind the study admit, Phillips believes this to be one of the biggest evolutionary studies done to date.

University student Michelle Parmenter, a lab technician in Phillips’ lab, joined graduate teaching fellow Levi Morran in answering an idea of evolution that the lab had been working on for several years.

Phillips says that questions on sexual reproduction have been around for more than 200 years, and that his work as the director of the Center for Ecology and Evolutionary Biology has focused on the features of the mating system for some time. Parmenter and Morran conducted 100 minievolution experiments involving

nematode worms and putting them through a series of mutations to determine their adaptability and survival rate in harsh environments, the study was published on a early release date in the journal Nature on Oct. 21.

The worm is the Caenorhabditis elegans—or C. elegans—a small (about 1 millimeter long) soil nematode. One benefit Phillips found to using this worm in their study is their four-day generation life, allowing Morran and Parmenter to test over 60 generations of the worm in a contained evolutionary process.

Morran separated the worms into three categories, two of which underwent mutation to prevent certain sexual reproduction processes.

The XOL is a population of hermaphrodite worms that produce both sperm and eggs and were mutated to reproduce with themselves—selfing; the Wild Type, a natural collection of the C. elegans worms that were untouched and comprised of 25 percent males; and the FOG population that was mutated to only reproduce with a partner.

Morran said that to genetically mutate the XOL population he had to expose the population to a harmful bacterial pathogen that eats the worms from the inside out, killing all male specimens, leaving the hermaphrodites alone to reproduce.

The outcrossing population,

which Parmener says is just a fancy word for sexual reproduction with a partner, resulted in both higher levels of adaptability to harmful environments and were less susceptible to accumulating harmful mutations.

“By having sex with a male partner you are able to escape the harmful effects of mutations,” Morran said.

Phillips says that previous theories have suggested that selfing populations are able to purge many of these mutations, but this study found that the ability to sufficiently purge was overwhelmed by slight increases in mutation rates.

With careful study, Phillips and his team found that selfing populations lead to fixation in adapting where any new adaptive mutations will tend to become trapped within selfing generations, and they could not respond to evolutionary mutations like those of the outcrossing populations.

“We didn’t know exactly what the outcome would be,” Phillips said.

“We expected organisms that could, to have sex alone, and thought that outcrossing worms were at a huge disadvantage in that selfing populations vastly out produced them.”

Though the results were somewhat predicted, all three did not expect the outcrossing populations to produce such drastically good results.

“On a graph it would look like a linear slope,” Parmenter said. “The selfing worms had no adaptations, the wild type had a good amount, but the outcrossing worms had a substantially better adaptation to harmful pathogens.”

To Phillips, the results verify what scientists have thought for over thirty years, and often receive a “well, duh” reaction from friends and faculty.

“When I told my mother the results she simply said, ‘Well, of course,’” Phillips said. “This answers a big question that we all have pre-conceived thoughts on.”

While the experiments have a serious scientific impact it doesn’t stop Morran and Parmenter from receiving raised eyebrows when they explain what they have been up for the past three years.

“There seems to be a general intelligence on this subject,” Morran said. “But our sexual habits have definitely have been under fire.”

“It is a funny thing to explain to people,” Parmenter said.

Morran and Parmenter are currently studying the adaptation of the outcrossing populations in the C. elegans, and trying to understand what happens in the worm’s genome that allowed them to adapt so efficiently.

—Anna Helland

The Daily Cut

Vanguard News | 3 October 28, 2009

Your world in brief

News Editor:

Nation: Boston cops: Psych patient stabs doc, is shot dead BOSTON (AP)—Police say a man stabbed a doctor while being treated at a psychiatric ward at a Boston medical building and was fatally shot by a security guard who saw the attack.

The attack took place Tuesday afternoon at a high-rise building affiliated with Massachusetts General Hospital.

The doctor, whose name was not released, was in stable condition.

Police say the suspect died of gunshot wounds.

—Bob Salsberg

Deal struck on Great Lakes ship pollution TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. (AP)— Congressional negotiators eached a deal Tuesday that would

effectively exempt 13 ships that haul iron ore, coal and other freight on the Great Lakes from a proposed federal rule meant to reduce air pollution.

The Lake Carriers’ Association, which represents the 55 U.S.flagged vessels that operate on the lakes, had asked for at least a partial exemption from rules proposed by the Environmental Protection Agency that would require large vessels operating within 200 miles of a U.S. coast to use cleaner—and costlier—fuel and improve engine technology.

Negotiators in Washington approved the exemption as part of a natural resources spending bill.

The measure could be voted on in the House as early as Wednesday.

“This compromise will allow EPA to go ahead with a new clean air rule without sinking the Great Lakes fleet — and all the jobs it creates in the region,” said Rep. David Obey, D-Wis., chairman of the House Appropriations Committee.

The rules are designed to reduce emissions of airborne contaminants blamed for smog, acid rain, respiratory ailments and possibly cancer. Large ships are leading producers of nitrogen and sulfur oxides and tiny contaminated particles that foul the air near ports and coastlines and hundreds of miles inland, the EPA says.

Frank O’Donnell, president of Clean Air Watch, a Washingtonbased advocacy group, said he was disappointed that Obey and Rep. Jim Oberstar, a Minnesota

vanguardblog-psu.blogspot.com

KATMANDU, Nepal (AP)—The world’s tiger population is declining fast despite efforts to save them, and new strategies are urgently needed to keep the species from dying out, international wildlife experts said Tuesday.

“We are assembled here to save tigers that are at the verge of extinction,” Nepal’s secretary of forest and soil conservation, Yuvaraj Bhusal, told a conference of tiger experts from 20 countries, including the 13 where wild tigers are still found.

An estimated 3,500 to 4,000 tigers now roam the world’s forests, down from the more than 100,000 estimated at the beginning of the 20th century. All the remaining tigers are in Asia.

Participants at the conference, which also includes the World Bank, the World Wildlife Fund and other groups, plan to discuss strategies for tiger conservation, as well as challenges such as poaching, the trade of tiger parts and conflicts between tigers and local populations.

In a recent case, a Sumatran tiger died after being caught in a pig snare last week in Indonesia, the country’s news agency, Antara, reported Monday. The report said the tiger died as it was being prepared for surgery Monday. Only about 250 Sumatran tigers remain in the wild.

“Despite our efforts in the last three decades, tigers still face threats of survival. The primary threat is from poaching and habitat loss,” Nepal’s Prime Minister Madhav Kumar Nepal told the conference.

He said extreme poverty has also challenged efforts.

“Global and regional solidarity and corrective measures are more necessary now than ever to face these challenges,” the prime minister said.

Bhusal, the forest secretary, said participants hope to make high-level policy makers in their countries more aware of the animal’s possible extinction.

The 13 countries where wild tigers are still found include Bangladesh, Bhutan, Cambodia, China, India, Indonesia, Laos, Myanmar, Nepal, Russia, Thailand and Vietnam.

The conference continues through Friday.

—Binaj Gurubacharya

visit our new blog at:

World: Experts: Tigers fast dying out despite campaigns

Democrat and chairman of the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee, had sided with the shippers in talks with the Obama administration.

“They deservedly have a stellar record and reputation on environmental issues, but departed in this case to work essentially behind closed doors for a special interest fix for a favored industry,” he said.

The industry group said the regulations would ground 13 aging steamships while forcing 13 others to use fuel 70 percent more expensive than the present blend. The added cost to Great Lakes shippers—about $210 million—would be passed to their customers, said Jim Weakley, president of the shipping association.

“We’re very grateful that we’ve got some breathing room,” Weakley said after the deal was announced.

“It’s a good balance between the environment and the economy.”

The original rules would damage not only shippers, but Great Lakes industries that rely on them—including steel and auto manufacturers already battered by the economic downturn and foreign competition, said Rep. Candice Miller, a Michigan Republican.

Some officials in Alaska say the rules could deter visits to their ports by cruise ships, which are important to the state economy.

As written, they would require ships by 2012 to burn fuel with sulfur content not exceeding 1 percent, or 10,000 parts per million. In 2015, the limit would drop to 1,000 parts per million.

The 13 Great Lakes steamships are powered by a type of marine fuel that carries about 30,000 parts per million of sulfur.

“It’s among the filthiest fuel known to mankind—literally the sludge at the bottom of the barrel after the refining process,” O’Donnell said.

Under the compromise, the steamships will be exempt. Most were built in the 1950s and can’t be switched to low-sulfur fuel without risking explosions, Weakley said.

Mothballing them would be selfdefeating because much of the cargo would be switched to trucks or trains, which emit more pollution than ships, said Phil Linsalata, spokesman for Warner Petroleum, a marine fuel company in Clare, Mich.

The deal also will allow the 13 ships that use a mixture of fuels to apply to the EPA for waivers. It directs the agency to evaluate the rule’s economic effect on Great Lakes shippers and report in six months.

The EPA rule would apply within 200 miles of a U.S. coast.

Weakley said that unfairly singles out Great Lakes vessels because they’re always within that zone, unlike ocean freighters.

Clean-air and health advocates urged the EPA to stand by its proposed rules, scheduled for final approval in December.

“Air pollution is not confined to state boundaries,” Arthur Marin, director of a group representing northeastern state air quality agencies, said in a letter to Congress.

“Through long-range transport in the atmosphere, pollutants emitted in domestic waters, such as the Great Lakes, affect air quality in the Northeast.”

EPA estimates the regulations would prevent up to 33,000 premature deaths over the next two decades and hundreds of billions in medical costs.

—John Flesher

Danielle Kulczyk 503-725-5690 news@dailyvanguard.com

Benefits of walking Walking is a gentle, low-impact exercise that can ease you into a higher level of fitness and health.

Walking is one of your body’s most natural forms of exercise. It’s safe, simple, doesn’t require practice and the health benefits are many.

Walking can help you: –Lower low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol (the “bad” cholesterol) –Raise high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol (the “good” cholesterol) –Lower your blood pressure –Reduce your risk of or manage Type 2 diabetes –Manage your weight –Improve your mood –Stay strong and fit Studies suggest regular walking can keep you from getting colds.

One study of 50 women divided them into a group who walked briskly for 45 minutes a day, five days a week, and a control group that did not exercise.

The walkers experienced half as many colds as the control group. The walkers also showed an increase in natural killer cells, immune system cells that attack bacteria and viruses.

—walking.about.com —www.mayoclinic.com

Vanguard 4 | Arts & Culture October 28, 2009

Arts Editor: Theodora Karatzas 503-725-5694 arts@dailyvanguard.com

Humpday: Live music to get you over the midweek slump Mumiy Troll, Chernova Like a poor man’s Gogol Bordello, Chernova are bringing gypsy punk to Portland. This ragtag group of gentleman is spunky, punky and all sorts of rowdy.

They’ve been known to play anywhere from traditional venues to taverns to street corners. Wherever they are though, their brand of brass-heavy rock will be sure to woo even the drunkest of their patrons into song—or at least rioting.

Berbati’s Pan, 9 p.m., $20 advance $25 door 21+ Joe Pug, Mbilly Joe Pug’s music is an example of everything right with countryinfluenced rock. His voice bounces between nasally growls and gentle whispers with so much longing and emotion in between, while keeping his instrumentation simple yet moving. Pug himself is a riveting guy to watch and was more than friendly to his audience this summer at Pickathon.

He stopped to talk about his first impression of Oregon and made everyone in the barn hum the Jeopardy theme song while scrambling to change a guitar string on stage. An admirer of Elliott Smith, he did a wonderful cover of “Angelas” and towards the end, handed out his CDs to anyone who came up to talk after the set.

Doug Fir, 9 p.m., $8, 21+ Labelmates: A celebration of local independent record labels wih Congratulations, Rob Walmart, Bobby Birdman, White Fang and Ghosties.

Free shows are always good. Free shows with a lineup like this are even better. White Fang and Rob Walmart are both pure chaos in their own rights, with the first repping some serious punkish attitude and the latter operating out of a truck (like a mobile party). Congratulations, however, make beautiful music with a touch more nuance to it. They were recently featured on a split 7-inch with friends LAKE and Brave Records buddies Old Believers and the Red River.

Holocene, 8 p.m., Free, 21+

ARTS & CULTURE

Philosophy as

Jest

Cathcart and Klein’s new book makes death a laughing matter Wendy Shortman Vanguard staff

There are some things we usually joke about, like politics, religion and celebrities. One thing we usually don’t laugh about is death. Besides the occasional, awkward “laughing at a funeral” joke you might hear, it’s not often that we feel comfortable laughing about a life ending. It’s even more rare that an entire book be dedicated to discussing the subject in a lighthearted manner.

Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein’s new book, Heidegger and a Hippo Walk Through Those Pearly Gates: Using Philosophy (and Jokes!) to Explore Life, Death, the Afterlife and Everything in Between, discusses the topic of the hereafter through the words of prominent philosophers.

When asked if it was an easy task to make jokes about the topic, Cathcart was surprisingly candid about the ease in creating laughter

out of such a typically dismal event.

“It turns out there are as many jokes about death as about sex,” Cathcart said. “Well, OK, almost.”

In fact, comedians and authors alike don’t always shy away from the topic, as one may assume.

“It seems people joke most about the things that make them the most nervous,” Cathcart said.

And who doesn’t get a little nervous when discussing death and the afterlife? Cathcart and Klein are the authors of the New York Times bestseller Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar, another humorous book based on the words of philosophers with a comedic twist.

The authors’ newest book dives deeper than Plato and a Platypus, which discusses philosophy in general and schools of thought, by dealing with life, death and the afterlife.

“Plato and a Platypus looks at the history of Western philosophy through jokes,” Cathcart said.

“Heidegger and and a Hippo jumps right to the fun stuff—The Big D [the authors’ term for death]. A lot of philosophers thought, and we agree, that looking death straight in the eye helps you see life more appreciatively.”

Some of the philosophers quoted in the book include Arthur Schopenhauer, Friedrich Nietzsche, Albert Camus, Jean-Paul Sartre and, of course, Martin Heidegger.

When asked about if the book somewhat “defuses anxiety” about death and dying and the fears that go along with it, Cathcart was vague.

“You mean, are we part of the death denial system? Maybe, although we’ll deny it on Judgment Day.” All in all, Cathcart and Klein’s upcoming visit to Powell’s will be a good stop this week as we prepare for Halloween spooks. And Heidegger and a Hippo ensures a laugh.

“We’ve recently reached our allotted three score and 10,” said

Cathcart. “So these questions about deadness have a certain relevance for us. We’re looking forward to talking to some younger folks. [We want people to get] a few laughs, but also, hopefully, some different ways of looking at death—and its prequel, life.”

Reading by Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein Powell’s City of Books 1005 W Burnside St. Wed, 7:30 p.m.

An existential crisis in hell Imago Theatre tries their hand at a modern French classic Anita Kinney Vanguard staff

Imago Theatre opens their 30th season by reviving their 1998 production of Jean-Paul Sartre’s existentialist masterpiece, No Exit. This particular production has toured widely and is distinguished by its tilting stage—the brainchild of director and Imago artistic co-director Jerry Mouawad.

The play is set in what looks like a hotel room with three miniature sofas. In reality, it’s a personalized suite in hell for Joseph Garcin (Tim True), Estelle Rigault (Maureen Porter), and Inès Serrano (JoAnn Johnson). The focus of the play is on the relationships between these three characters. Inès is a lesbian who fixates on Estelle, who yearns for the affection of a man. Joseph is not interested in Estelle, but exploits her interest to aggravate Inès.

No Exit is driven by the tension between Joseph, Inès and Estelle.

The relative lack of action, paired with mildly repetitive dialog, makes this play difficult to stage and explains why it is performed so infrequently. Mouawad’s stage

combats this by physically representing the interrelation and interdependency of the players.

Each individual movement tilts the stage, which sits on a central pivot.

This adds a sense of urgency to the play and heightens the minimal motions of the characters, underscoring their symbolism.

Unfortunately, the production plays the stage’s physical movement for cheap laughs. The first scene, which shows Joseph being led into the room by a sinister valet (Bryce Flint-Somerville), is unnecessarily bloated. In Sartre’s play, The Valet is a minor character. Here, he becomes a recurring form of comic relief. This is unnecessary, as Sartre’s dialog provides all the jokes one could ask for. His clownish presence is a stark contrast to the darker, more cerebral tone of No Exit’s humor, and an ineffective one. No Exit is difficult enough to sit through because of its intensity and relentless focus on a finite cycle of interactions and Imago’s production would be better served by allowing the focus to remain on its three main characters.

Aforementioned problems aside, the play is pitch perfect. True’s Joseph strikes a balance between pathetic and sympathetic, and Porter’s Estelle walks the line between ingénue and callous seductress. The scenes where Joseph and

All photos courtesy of Imago Theatre

No Exit: Hell really is other people. Just ask anyone who works at a newspaper.

Estelle watch their companions on earth are the play’s most relatable and affecting, and they add a muchneeded touch of humanity and tenderness to the play, which (aside from the appearance of The Valet) veers close to bleak monotony.

Inès’ observations of her immediate departure are nowhere near as moving, but Johnson’s virtuoso performance is the play’s driving force.

As the play’s cruelest character, and the only one with a true understanding of the power of manipulation, Inès is relentless and haunting.

Overall, Imago Theatre’s produc-

tion is faithful to Sartre’s content and tone, and is a pleasure to watch.

No Exit Imago Theatre 17 SE Eighth Ave. Thu, 7 p.m. Fri and Sat, 7:30 p.m.

Sat and Sun, 2 p.m.

Runs through Nov. 15 $25 to $39

House trained Tiger House plays the music without the attitude problem Stephanie Fine Sasse Vanguard staff

It’s common for listeners to gain a sense of an artist’s personality based simply on the music they create. If the same holds true for Portland’s increasingly popular indie pop quartet Tiger House, it would be safe to assume they are a sophisticated, ambitious group with their eyes on the prize. Of course, a quick peak at the “Bomb Iran” Beach Boys parody on their MySpace page suggests a slightly less serious approach.

“Each one of our members helps shape the personality of the band,” said vocalist Bill Scharmann.

“Everyone has a great sense of humor, which is very important when working with one another.

You can’t take yourself too seriously. You’re in a fucking band.

You’re kind of a novelty.”

Scharmann, a poet and former Portland State student, started the band after deciding it was time to give music a go last year. He recruited bassist Alex Arrowsmith, drummer Ky Fifer and guitarist/ keyboard player Carl Simpson, formerly of Mondo Hollywood. Without much experience under his belt, Scharmann devised a master plan to disguise his novice past.

“I figure surround yourself with a bunch of talented motherfuckers and no one will know,” he said.

Talented they are, without the pretentious holier-than-thou vibe strung throughout much of the Portland music scene. Scharmann’s vocals are solid, versatile and extremely easy on the ears, a characteristic that can’t be taught.

Though Tiger House may share the do-it-yourself repertoire, houseshow appeal and horn-rimmed glasses of their indie counterparts, their wit, genuine likeability and mastery of the pop-song formula sets them in a league above the masses. Admittedly, this is a hard city to maintain originality in.

“Portland is a Mecca of bands,” Scharmann said. “We all know this.

By Portland law you have to be in a band. Also you can’t admit to owning a TV. The hardest thing not to do is

do what everyone else is doing. You know peer pressure? Well, there is most definitely band pressure. The pressure to be in the scene. I am slave to bad hair cuts, man.”

After describing the ideal show as a happy-go-lucky orgy of dancing, hugging, sweating and smiling, Scharmann went on to explain why Tiger House is suited for such a gig and the release a musician gets from performing.

“I think we’re all pretty happy people,” he said. “We really want to have a good time. We like having a good time. We hug, kiss, high five and yelp onstage. It’s not an act. We do that shit when we practice, when we hang out. We’re all friends. We want the audience to feel that. Saying, ‘You know what, even though I had a shitty day, I am going to dance [the] shit out of this place.’ Let it out, man. The mood is about all of us, us and you, what we create together.”

Before you decide to check out a show based solely on the promise of inter-band affection, it’s important to note the substance here.

Tiger House consistently produces high-energy, well-balanced pieces with finger snapping doo-wops, trans-generational influences and capable, playful instrumentals.

They carry a distinct point of view across every facet of pop— from epic intros reminiscent of Europe’s “The Final Countdown,” to highly caffeinated surfer-dude indie, to rainbow-colored, headswinging tunes with catchier-thanswine-flu lyrics and a breathiness that could challenge Coldplay.

The music has a confidence generally reserved for bands with years under their belts and enough variety to keep even the most ADD listener content.

“The most satisfying thing about performing is looking cool,” Scharmann said. “No, I kid. We’re all pretty big nerds one way or another. We have Trekkies in this band. Fucking Trekkies. I really think it’s important to put on a good show. We pride ourselves on putting on a high energy shows with as little cliché as possible. I am not going to ask you if you’re ready to rock and roll. We’re going to have a party. Join in if you don’t care what your friends think. Or if you think our drummer looks like Wolverine. He totally does.”

Tiger House Dunes, 1909 NE MLK Blvd.

Thu, 9 p.m. $5, 21+

Vanguard Arts & Culture | 5 October 28, 2009

Filthy little rats with wings: Fun facts about pigeons Pigeons originated several millions of years ago in Asia and have a range throughout all of the United States and most of Canada, being found in almost all metropolitan areas.

Pigeons have long been kept and raised in captivity. Early settlers imported the common pigeon for food and to serve as message carriers. They were originally called “rock doves” and are closely related to doves.

Pigeons are gregarious and tend to be found in flocks of around 20 to 30. Seeds and grains make up the bulk of their diet, but they are willing to sample just about anything.

There are as many as 28 pigeon color types. Pigeons have colorful, iridescent neck feathers called a “hackle.” Adult males and females look alike, but a male’s hackle is more iridescent than a female’s. Pigeons that are all white are usually albinos. These white “doves” are frequently released during ceremonies to symbolize love and peace.

Adult pigeons have orange or reddishorange eyes. Juveniles that are less than 6 to 8 months old have medium-brown or grayish-brown eyes Pigeon eyesight is excellent. Like humans, pigeons can see color, but they also can see ultraviolet light—part of the light spectrum that humans can’t see.

Pigeons are sometimes used in human searchand-rescue missions because of their exceptional vision.

Pigeons can hear sounds at much lower frequencies than humans can, such as wind blowing across buildings and mountains, distant thunderstorms and even faraway volcanoes.

Sensitive hearing may explain why pigeons sometimes fly away for no apparent reason.

Pigeons have a unique drinking behavior.

Most birds take a sip of water and throw back their heads to let the water trickle down their throats. But pigeons suck up water, using their beaks like straws Pigeons can fly up to 40 or 50 miles per hour and may fly as far as 600 miles a day.

They seem to be able to detect the Earth’s magnetic fields. This magnetic sensitivity, along with the ability to tell direction by the sun, seems to help pigeons find their way home.

Tiger House: A sense of humor and a delightful stage presence keep these guys afloat.

—www.pleasebekind. com/pigeon.html

Vanguard 6 | Opinion October 28, 2009

Opinion Editor: Richard D. Oxley 503-725-5692 opinion@dailyvanguard.com

Who’s next?

The future of the “Made in Oregon” sign nestled atop the White Stag block is currently unclear. Some would prefer to see it take its place as a local landmark while others desire local businesses to remain shining from its promotional perch.

Should the sign stand as a local monument or businesses heed the call, the Vanguard has a few suggestions for the sign that just might do the trick.

Beer It’s become a bit of a personality trait of Portland, but there is a lot of brewing in our fair city. Sure, a single specific brewery could take over the sign and that would be great, but with most of our breweries being smaller in size, only a few may be able to foot the bill. But with “beer” greeting people as they cross the Burnside Bridge, we all can be reminded to support a local industry.

Mary’s Club Hey, it was Portland’s first topless bar, making it quite the innovator when you take into account Portland’s plethora of strip joints. Plus the business has over 50 years of history in the city. That flashy Mary’s Club sign could illuminate more than just west Broadway—it could light up Portland’s skyline.

Voodoo Doughnut Open 24 hours, Voodoo Doughnut offers everything from bacon maple bars to wedding ceremonies.

In a relatively short period of time, they have become a symbol of Portland pride and a place people must visit while passing through our city. In 2008, among Mayor Tom Potter’s last actions in office was to make Voodoo’s Portland Crème doughnut the official city doughnut.

We’re not Seattle!

Just as a pleasant reminder. Sure we’re both Pacific Northwest cities, but don’t think that because we both can handle a little rain that we’re Seattle’s little brother to the south. Get it straight— our mass transit is better, our liberals are less annoying, our conservatives are less uptight and our roads make sense. We’ve got our own beers, doughnuts and can urban plan like no other mofo on the West Coast. So take that Seattle! You can keep all you extra days of sun, big sports teams and…ya know…jobs.

OPINION

Sign of the times The “Made in Oregon” sign is up for grabs Patrick Guild

Kira Meyrick/Portland State Vanguard

Vanguard staff

Seattle has the Space Needle, New York City has the Empire State Building and Portland has a neon advertisement for a gift store in the mall. City officials and developers alike are hunting for control of the iconic White Stag block’s “Made in Oregon” sign.

The sign itself remains shut off, a symbol of the struggle behind the scenes between two men to decide its future. City Commissioner Randy Leonard and Darryl Paulsen of Ramsay Signs continue to debate over an issue that arose when University of Oregon, the White Stag block’s new tenants, wanted to purchase the sign and change it to read “University of Oregon.” After months of talks fell through, Paulsen, the owner of the sign, is seeking a new lessee. Leonard, the voice of the opposition, wants to buy the sign using city money and have it read, “Portland, Oregon.” He feels the sign is held in commercial interest but has come to represent Portland culture and should belong to the public.

Leonard says the sign is nationally and internationally known and brings in valuable tourist dollars.

Rant Rage The

and

By Richard D. Oxley

Driving me up the wall This year, GMAC Insurance rated Oregon at the top of their list of America’s best drivers. An auto club called AutoVantage followed suit by rating Portland drivers as the most courteous in the nation, according to their own road rage survey. Good job Oregon. And furthermore, give yourself a good old pat on the back, Portland. It turns out that over this past year, we have all been acknowledged as being pretty nifty out on the road.

I find it hard to believe that people travel from all over the world to Portland to see a neon deer. I think we have more to offer than that. But I will admit that the sign is the only interesting thing about our skyline and does inspire some warm feelings after I’ve been away for a while.

“Made in Oregon” is a slogan denoting toughness and a selfawareness the state is renowned for.

The lingering battle over who will pay for it is slowly tarnishing the image Portlanders have worked so hard to achieve.

Maintenance of the sign will cost taxpayers $1,500 a month on top of the $500,000 needed to purchase the sign. If Leonard goes through with his remodel, the costs may double. Couldn’t Portland Public Schools or our struggling economy use that money?

Leonard’s main reason for buying the sign was to protect the sign from an outsider, the Eugene-based University of Oregon. In his city blog, Leonard wrote that Portland State is offended that University of Oregon would “come into its back yard and stake claim” to the iconic sign.

Leonard lists the previous lessees of the sign that were Portland-based and “whose identities were as closely tied to Portland as their products were.” Leonard is talking about White Satin Sugar Co. and White Stag, both names that were on the sign before “Made in Oregon.”

That’s right, the sign has only read “Made in Oregon” since 1995.

The sign has gone through numerous facelifts in the past, with commercial owners of the sign always getting the final say on its design. Leonard chooses to ignore this particular tradition. In an interview with The Oregonian, Leonard expressed worry that since anyone could buy the sign (and under Oregon’s free speech laws), even a pornography business could advertise above the White Stag block for the right price. Leonard wants the city to control what the sign says. The sign has always evolved with the building it rests on and Portlanders have loved it for generations even if the words were for a business. It just so happens that the most recent tenants had a very catchy name.

I like anachronism. A part of me

wishes the “Portland” sign adorning the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall still read “Paramount” from its days as a movie house. But I also can’t stand when natural, organic progress is stifled and preserved, effectively killing what made the attraction so unique in the first place.

In this case, however, I have to agree with Leonard. Portland has been lucky in the past: Since 1940, only two companies have leased the sign. The new owners could actually use the sign for its intended purpose of advertising. The fear of drastic change to a symbol of Portland outweighs my distaste for landmarks becoming generic and “Disney-fied.”

But Leonard is stepping outside of his purview if he believes he has the right to choose the new design. He’s not spending his own money, he’s spending ours. Let Portland decide the fate of its own icon.

By giving Portlanders a say in this preservation buy, we are setting up a model for future city acquisitions of private landmarks. Whatever the city decides, we can be sure this is a sign of things to come.

Well, whoopty-friggin-do! Too bad it’s all a load of crap!

Look Oregonians, I don’t care what anybody says. You are the most inept bungling dolts on four wheels I have ever had the misfortune to witness.

And I come from Washington, just over the border. We pitifully suck at driving there, so by the law of transference, it doesn’t make you look too good. Here are a few thoughts for you all to mull over.

Over the years since I moved here, the most common complaint that us transplants seem to hear out of a long list of criticisms is merging. Get a clue, Oregon. When you are entering a freeway, you yield.

Not the other way around. I know we all have to drive along together and we should help each other out. But annoyingly slowing down on the freeway while you anticipate someone merging in, or bolting off into someone else’s lane, is not the way to do it. The cars on the freeway don’t have to let you mergers in, it’s on you to get in the lane.

I know public education suffers

here, but damn! Learn to read. Next time you’re behind a steering wheel, arch your head up a little, and you may notice a few large greenish signs informing you of future routes, exits and notable streets. Use them.

This way, you may avoid frantically switching lanes passing through the Vista Ridge Tunnel or screeching across three lanes of traffic on the Northbound Interstate 405, once your realize the correct exit to enter Interstate 5 is not on the right side of the freeway.

Slow traffic keeps right, not sporadically across all lanes. I know, the speed limits here are pathetically low. I am convinced that either the state is extorting money from the public through speeding tickets, or our governing officials figure you assholes will be lucky to figure out an automatic transmission, let alone tackle the challenge of driving over 50 mph.

And why is it that after even one mere day of sunshine, this whole city seems to forget we live in a rainforest? Everyone loses their minds

the moment a single raindrop falls once again. Slow down, use your wipers…it will all be OK. I get it. GMAC and AutoVantage probably wanted their name in the papers, to get some press, so they run these little surveys. The problem is they don’t come off as too credible when they praise a state with a habit of slowing down for any little thing off to the side of the road. Or when you call a city “courteous” after drivers stab each other over road rage or its citizens mow down a few bicyclists.

That’s right, Portland drivers hit bicycles! How stupid do you have to be not to look to your right? Most of the time, there is a whole other lane there for bikes, just like cars have.

What do you think those mirrors are for anyway?

I have always passionately supported mass transit in our area… not only for its environmental and public benefits, but mainly to get more of you incompetent drivers off the road!

etc.

ART WEDNESDAY The New York Times Syndication Sales Corporation 500 Seventh Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10018 For Information Call: 1-800-972-3550 For Release Thursday, October 22, 2009

Edited by Will Shortz

HALF-CENTURY PUZZLEMAKERSʼ WEEK

Note: All the daily crosswords this week, Monday through Saturday, are by puzzlemakers who have been contributing to The Times for more than 50 years. Arthur Schulman, a retired psychology professor at the University of Virginia, had his Sunday Times debut on September 14, 1954. The puzzle below should be easy for solvers who remember their old-fashioned crossword vocabulary.

Across 1 Finishes, with “up” 5 Like most radios 9 Jordanʼs only seaport 14 #13 in the Bronx, informally 15 Fair distance 16 Daybreak 17 Stage arches 19 Unsupported assurance 20 Masonʼs trough 21 Designer Cassini 22 Very, informally 23 Noble family name in medieval Italy shared by two popes 25 Mischief 27 Shot 30 Mountain near Pelion

ANSWER A N T I

L A W N

I D E A

T A N T E

I N T R A

T O W I T

A L E N E

I N � A

S T L O

I W I N

N O � E

A � A R

31 Considerably, in Cannes 32 U.K. neighbor 33 Stop, in Montréal 35 Theyʼre often served with caviar 36 19th of 24 37 Ais 40 Place-kickerʼs aid 41 Tulip-growing center of Holland 42 “Fish Magic” and “Viaducts Break Ranks” 43 Suffer 44 More limited 45 Man ___ 46 They hook up IVs 47 9-Across native 48 Rounded out?

51 “___ time”

52 Construction piece 54 “Uncle Tomʼs Cabin” girl 55 Westernmost of the major Hawaiian islands 58 Refractive 60 Volunteerʼs declaration 61 S.C. Johnson shaving gel 62 Future dr.ʼs exam 63 Attach, as a ribbon 64 ___-lesMoulineaux (Paris suburb) 65 “Horrors!”

Down 1 Massenet opera based on a Daudet novel 2 Slip 3 Ocas 4 1960s activist TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE org.

D E L A A � E N 5 Renatoʼs wife in Verdiʼs “Un Ballo A � O R A � E � A in Maschera” T � O N E S W I N � S 6 Tram locale U � I N T � E U S A 7 Moas N � A A R E 8 ___ culpa E D O � O N T I � E 9 Eri A R A T � O � O A 10 Landing place T � T � R E E � I D S 11 At all O A E O N E L E E 12 Clear, as tables � S R O T � � S L 13 Abbr. on a letter A O L P R O D to a soldier T R A S U N W I S E 18 Ara O R T � E S E E S A W 22 Small songbirds � E A S T E T R E 24 “Mm-hmm” � � A S � O A R 26 Take for ___

1

2

3

4

5

14

6

8

9

15

17

25

30

26

27

31

34

39

41

43

44

45

46

47

48

42

51 57

29

36

38

56

28

52

49

53

50

54

58

59

60

61

62

63

64

65

HELP WANTED Experienced Tutor needed: I am seeking a tutor for my child. Lessons will be 2 days a week, hours are flexible, and lessons should be about an Hour.

Subjects: Mathematics, Science, and English reading and writing. Interested please reply by email (andrewscastro@aol.com).

Driver/Assistant Needed Hiteax incoporation is seeking a responsible individuals for full time/part time driving/assistant positions. Must be at least 25 years old with experience and Class A CDL required. Home every night. Competitive wages and full benefit package. Interested candidates should resume to hiteaxincor@live.com

39 Slave in Buckʼs House of Hwang 45 Abbey Theater playwright 49 Perrier rival 50 Blade maker 51 Literary character who says “O, beware, my lord, of jealousy”

Today International Student Coffee Hour 3:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.

SMSU, room 228 Medieval Combat Club 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.

Peter Stott Center, room 203

Thursday Health Care Reform Discussion Panel Noon to 1:30 p.m.

SMSU, room 228

Puzzle by Arthur Schulman

27 Ers 28 Danish astronomer who followed Copernicus 29 Childrenʼs doctor?

33 Fragrance 34 River through Köln 35 ___ nova 38 Ziggurat features

CALENDAR

13

32

35

40

55

12

22

24

37

11

19

21

23

10

16

18

20

33

7

No. 0917

Vanguard Vanguard Etc. || 77 Arts OctoberDay, 28, 2009 2009 Month

53 Major leagues, slangily, with “the” 55 Modelistʼs purchase 56 World champion of 1964-67, 1974-78 and 1978-79 57 Diminutive suffix 58 J.F.K. Library architect 59 “Yo te ___”

Thomas Bender: Cities, Nations and the Cosmopolitan Experience 6 p.m.

SMSU, room 238

Friday

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information.

Online subscriptions: Todayʼs puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year).

Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay.

Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

Dr. Toshimitsu Shigemura: Japan and the Korean Peninsula Noon SMSU, room 294

Read the Vanguard

America the Beautiful: Film and Discussion 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.

5th Avenue Cinema Halloween Thriller Party 8:30 p.m. to 1 a.m.

Peter Stott Center $12 no costume, $10 costume, $5 Michael Jackson costume

To place an event: Contact vgcalendar@ gmail.com or pick up a calendar request form at the Vanguard advertising office, Smith Memorial Student Union, room 115.

KenKen® is a registered trademark of Nextoy, LLC. ©2009 KenKen Puzzle LLC. All rights reserved. Dist. by UFS, Inc. www.kenken.com

Each row and each column ● must contain the numbers 1 through 4 (easy) or 1 through 6 (challenging) without repeating.

Thenumberswithintheheavily outlined boxes, called cages, must combine using the given

●

Freebies:Fillinsingle-box cages with the number in the top-left corner.

It’s pretty

Comic artist for the Vanguard

WANTED

●

operation (in any order) to produce the target numbers in the top-left corners.

Send résumés to: arts@dailyvanguard.com

your ad goes here 503.725.5686

ART WEDNESDAY

&

dazed

20 things you might want to avoid saying to the police:

confused:

1. “I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.”

a critical look at our pop life

2. “Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.”

By Ed Johnson

Porn is just porn: HUMP! and me Ed Johnson Vanguard staff

Last weekend, the Portland Mercury hosted its first iteration of HUMP!, an amateur porn festival.

I went and I saw, and there were buttholes, penises, vaginas, yarn dolls, anal hooks and Larry King.

And more. Together.

And maybe that all just sounds so damned depraved, but I have to say, of all the times I’ve viewed porn in my life, it was by far the least sexualized. There are a lot of reasons this was the case.

The whole atmosphere of the festival was designed to make everyone, from the performers to the audience, feel as comfortable as possible. Its sex-positive mission created a fun atmosphere. “Asshole comments” were strictly prohibited— cell phones and cameras too. (“Porn stars for a weekend, not for a lifetime,” Dan Savage said.) We were packed into Cinema 21 so tightly that I would venture to guess no

one was masturbating.

My point is this: The porn in this context was not a sexual stimulant—it was entertainment.

Considering the breadth of different fluid-exchanging scenarios presented on film, this was a good circumstance. Nowhere else in my life besides HUMP! will I encounter so much gay sex in dumpsters, sadomasochist paingasms or things that aren’t penises going into bodily orifices. (Or cute lesbians riding bikes and getting into bed together.)

This is another reason why the festival doesn’t really function as porn viewing in the traditional sense: There isn’t a person in the world that could find all of its variations equally enticing. The experience isn’t so much desensitizing as much as it is overwhelming, which is sort of the same thing.

Over the 90 minutes of short films, I stopped caring about which parts were going into what other part on which gender, and I just sort of took it all in.

You know that saying about different strokes? Well, that definitely applies here. Different people

Vanguard Arts & Culture | 8 October 28, 2009

3. “Aren’t you the guy from the Village People band?”

4. “Hey, you must have been doing 125 mph to keep up with me.

Good job!”

Ed Johnson/Portland State Vanguard

get off on different things and that’s cool, but I only get off on certain things, which is also cool. HUMP! is not really about giving anybody pleasure, it’s just about showing that it’s OK to seek pleasure in whatever (consensual) form it takes.

Another defining aspect of the whole HUMP! experience was the amateur quality of most of the submissions. Turns out, people in Portland and Seattle (where the festival got its start five years ago at The Stranger newspaper) are pretty damn attractive and creative.

All of the submissions that made it had a sort of gimmick or story that went along with them, and some didn’t even have full nudity.

A lot were just funny, sex-related spoofs. Maybe this says something about the overgrown small-town nature of Portland, but I am an acquaintance to at least a few people that “starred” in the festival.

Yes, there were some big penises and big breasts, but the body types were fairly diverse, if mainly concentrated on people in their 20s.

What HUMP! really confirmed, I suppose, is that Portlanders, at least those who run in my social and political circles, are pretty OK about different expressions of sexuality. It is not immoral—as the lone protestor outside of the theater suggested—but instead a recognition of collective humanity.

We’re different, dude. Get over it.

5. “You’re not going to check the trunk are you?”

6. “Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.”

7. “I pay your salary.”

8. “Well officer, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.”

9. “Hey, is that a 9 mm? That’s nothing compared to this .44 magnum.”

10. “Hey, can you give me another one of those full-cavity searches?”

11. “No, YOU assume the position.”

Kenneth Goldsmith at PSU

12. “I’m surprised you stopped me… Dunkin’ Donuts is having a three-for-one special!”

13. “If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?”

14. “No, offi, offic, lucifer...I’m not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.”

15. “No, I don’t know how fast I was going.

The little needle stops at 110 mph.”

16. “On the way to the station, let’s get a six-pack, oh and don’t forget the cigs.”

17. “Come on, write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!”

18. “How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.”

19. “So that’s what those flashing yellow lights in the school zone mean?”

20. “What do you use those rubber gloves for anyway?”

—www.mainstreetdata.com Aaron Leopold/Portland State Vanguard

Kenneth Goldsmith spoke Monday at Portland State. Goldsmith is a poet and the author of I’ll Be Your Mirror: Selected Warhol Interviews, the founder of UbuWeb, an online archive, and a writing teacher at the University of Pennsylvania. His visit marked the fourth event in the Monday Night Lecture Series at PSU this fall. Goldsmith’s lecture primarily consisted of him discussing UbuWeb (www.ubu.com), a Web site featuring work from

thousands of artists. UbuWeb provides five to six terabytes of multimedia completely free to the viewer (I’m no computer genius, but I think that means a lot of mediated content). The archive contains rare art pieces, poetry, film, audio clips and other works such as John Lennon’s personal diary or a sound bite from William S. Burroughs.

–Wendy Shortman