Daily Titan: Wednesday, March 24, 2010

March 24, 2010

Vol. 87 Issue 26

Learn ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ with directors of the film DETOUR, Page 4

WEDNESDAY

Titan coaching pair tries to keep their sports alive SPORTS, Page 6

Multimedia

Experience Fullerton’s newest hangout spot at: www.dailytitan.com/tranquiltea

How bad does traffic in LA/OC affect CSUF students? Find out at: www.dailytitan.com/commuterschool

The Student Voice of California State University, Fullerton

Mysterious viral videos spark internet debate

Celebrating the year 1389 New Years Jubilation hosted by the Iranian Student Association in the Quad

photo courtesy youtube A scene from one of the videos posted on YouTube.

By Keyana Moayedi For the Daily Titan

detour@dailytitan.com

PHOTOS By Christa CONNELLY/Daily Titan Photo Editor ABOVE: After a duet with Divina, Pearl elegant solo dance in the shade of the quad.

By Zam Anwar

Daily Titan Staff Writer news@dailytitan.com

TOP LEFT: Iranian and American flags blow together in the breeze.

These waving flags were a background for the dance group The Jewels That Raq. TOP RIGHT: Divina dances in the middle of a circle formed primarily by members of the Iranian Student Association.

Multimedia

To experience the Iranian New Year’s celebration at: www.dailytitan.com/iranNY

The Iranian Student Association at Cal State Fullerton celebrated the Persian New Year in the quad Tuesday afternoon. The event featured live music, free food and live dancers.

NoRuz, meaning new day as Iranians call it, or New Year, is a celebration of the first day of spring

and the beginning of the year. This year began on Saturday at 10:32 am: the year 1389, according to the Iranian Calendar.

Deeply rooted in the rituals and traditions of the Zoroastrian religion, NoRuz has been celebrated for at least 3,000 years. Today, the festival is celebrated in several countries, such as Iran, Iraq, India and Afghanistan, to name a few.

Yari Moghaddam, senior business administration major and

president of the Iranian Student Association at CSUF, said that this year the association wanted to celebrate on campus so they could introduce the student body to Persian culture. “We are usually inadequately represented, and sometimes misrepresented, and I’m hoping this event will create more awareness about our culture,” Moghaddam said.

See IRANSA, Page 2

Mexico travel warning issued

By Victoria Graciano

Daily Titan Staff Writer news@dailytitan.com

As spring break approaches, more and more students head south despite all the violent crimes that are being committed by Mexico’s drug cartels, according to CBSnews.com.

Many schools received warnings from the U.S. Department of State to advise students to stay away from Mexico this year. Cal State Fullerton is no exception.

“All students are encouraged to be aware of the U.S. State Department’s Travel Warning regarding Mexico border cities. If a student does have plans to travel to Mexico during spring break, I would encourage them to take all precautions for their safety, and to follow the advice of the U.S. State Department Travel warning, which can be found at the Travel.

State.Gov website,” said Kandy Mink Salas, Dean of Students.

All students will receive a, “Have a safe photo courtesy Marcelo Gonçalves spring break” message in their portal informaThe resorts in Cancun may look enticing, but with the recent travel warning issued tion, Salas said. by the U.S. State Department, students may think twice about their spring break.

On March 14, the Department of State

issued a warning to all U.S. citizens traveling and living in Mexico, and it has authorized U.S. government personnel to pull out from Northern Mexican borders cities such as Tijuana, Nogales, Ciudad Juarez, Nuevo Laredo and Matamoros, due to the escalating violence.

According to the State Department, more than 100,000 American teenagers go to Mexico for spring break each year.

Many of them travel safely without any incidents, but many can be arrested and make mistakes that can affect them for the rest of their lives, in extreme cases they even die.

See MEXICO, page 2

You are in a forest where human limbs grow from trees. Cakes decorated with strawberries float by in amniotic fluid.

A muddy blonde woman licks sap from a tree trunk.

Yeah, the rest of us are just as confused as you are.

Since December 2009, a strange blonde woman has had the Internet on the edge of its seat with her bizarre antics – and for once, it’s not Lady Gaga.

The mystery artist, known only by the YouTube moniker “iamamiwhoami” has been releasing a string of videos in what has been speculated to be a viral marketing campaign.

The seven videos released to date have generated over 1.5 million YouTube hits and a flurry of buzz on music and gossip blogs all over the web.

“The videos are obviously made by professionals,” said Ed Fink, Radio-TV-Film department chair. “The production quality is top notch.”

The music and videos are ethereal and dreamlike, with just a touch of darkness.

If that’s not enough to pique your interest, the first six videos come with a bizarre set of tags (Foetus? Moisture? Cortex?) and are titled with a string of numbers.

The Internet has been abuzz with speculation as to who could be behind the bizarre videos. Goldfrapp, MGMT, Bjork and even Christina Aguilera have all been suspected, according to Mtv.com, but many are convinced it could be an entirely new artist.

“All blogs and music sites I read took care to explain that they and many, many others had been e-mailed about the videos,” said Tim Maloney, radio-TV-film professor. “Which suggests a decent-sized PR machine behind them.”

This development stirred up all kinds of discussion on the Web, but some followers of the campaign think it’s best not to get too wrapped up in the mystery.

Just as fans were beginning to lose interest, the seventh and (so far) final video was released.

At first, fans were thrown off by the sudden change in style, but an overzealous member of the celebrity-obsessed LiveJournal.com community “Oh No They Didn’t” pieced together pictures, videos and tweets giving strong evidence that the mystery woman could be Swedish pop artist Jonna Lee.

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March 24, 2010

IN OTHER NEWS

INTERNATIONAL

Britain expels high-ranking Israeli diplomat LONDON — Britain expelled a high-ranking Israeli diplomat Tuesday, in retaliation for alleged misuse of British passports by Israeli agents suspected in the assassination of a senior Hamas commander two months ago in Dubai.

Foreign Secretary David Miliband said the decision was made after consultations with his Israeli counterpart. The expelled official was not identified, but BBC and the Times of London reported that he was the head of the Mossad intelligence agency in the Israeli Embassy.

The expulsion follows an investigation by Britain’s Serious Organized Crime Agency, or SOCA, into the Jan. 19 slaying of Mahmoud Mabhouh at a luxury hotel. Officials in the Persian Gulf emirate have alleged that the killing was carried out by an Israeli hit squad.

NATIONAL

Proposal to protect sharks turned down WASHINGTON — An international wildlife trade group on Tuesday turned down a proposal to protect several species of sharks that are hunted for their fins for a Chinese banquet soup.

Votes to protect three species of hammerhead sharks — scalloped, great and smooth and the oceanic whitetip shark fell just several votes short of the two-thirds’ majority needed to pass at a meeting in Doha, Qatar, of the Convention on International Trade of Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora.

The convention voted in favor of protecting another shark species, the porbeagle, caught mainly for its meat, which is eaten in Europe, but it voted against trade restrictions for another shark that’s caught for its meat, the spiny dogfish.

STATE

Jackson doctor collected drug vials before the 911 call

LOS ANGELES — A security guard for Michael Jackson told Los Angeles police investigators that Dr. Conrad Murray collected vials of medicine from the singer’s bedroom before the guard called 911 the day Jackson died, a source familiar with the case said Monday.

Documents obtained by The Associated Press on Monday stated that Alberto Alvarez, Jackson’s logistics director, claimed that Murray had postponed calling 911 so he could collect the vials.

The source, however, presented a somewhat different account of Alvarez’s narrative of the minutes before paramedics were called to Jackson’s rented Los Angeles mansion last year.

The source, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak, said Murray collected the vials and an IV drip as he was performing CPR on Jackson. Alvarez told authorities that Murray put the items in a bag and asked the security guard to hold on to them. Moments later, Alvarez called 911, the source said.

For the Record It is the policy of the Daily Titan to correct any inaccurate information printed in the publication as soon as the error is discovered. Any incorrect information printed on the front page will result in a correction printed on the front page. Any incorrect information printed on any other page will be corrected on page 2. Errors on the Opinion page will be corrected on that page. Corrections also will be noted on the online version of the Daily Titan.

Please contact Executive Editor Sergio Cabaruvias at 657-278-5815 or at execeditor@dailytitan.com with issues about this policy or to report any errors.

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Copyright ©2010 Daily Titan

Services offered for night students

By Ashley Luu

Daily Titan Staff Writer news@dailytitan.com

Sponsored by the New Students Programs, the Evening Services Fair provided support and resources for evening students at the McCarthy Hall east walkway Tuesday.

Since most offices are open between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m., Annabelle Gariaga, New Student Programs coordinator, said the evening services work committee targeted the 5 p.m.

- 6 p.m. time frame so students taking evening classes could participate in after-hour programs.

Gariaga and the committee came up with the idea by asking questions.

“What do evening students need?

What can we do to help them?”

They decided to cater the fair to students taking upper division classes, including graduate students, because the majority of those classes take place in the evening.

Representatives of programs under Academic Advising, the University Learning Center, Career Center, Disabled Student Services, Chicana and Chicano Resource Center, Campus Dining and Volunteer and Service Center, were offering fliers and useful information to students passing by their booths.

Carla Rullan, academic advisor and computer science major, said there are misconceptions that services are unavailable to students because they mostly take place in the morning.

photo by ashley luu/Daily Titan Staff Writer Members of New Students Programs attempt to spread awareness of services to benefit night students at the Evening Services Fair.

Gitanjali Thiruvadi, 27, said there are beneficial factors to offering services in the evening rather than the morning. “I think (students) have a lot more time on their hands to look at the information given to them.

They at least pass by and aren’t usually running away from the booth because they are running to classes,” Thiruvadi added.

Junior psychology major Adorliz Woodhouse noticed the booths as she walked by and spoke to a representative who offered information about recreational activities.

She said that it is important for students to get involved and meet

other students on campus, rather than focusing solely on school. “You get to utilize facilities that are already included in your tuition. Take advantage,” Woodhouse said.

The event was scheduled in the beginning of the year, but was cancelled because of the rain, Gariaga said. However, the committee said it would be a good idea to host the event during midterms and finals, since students had the tendency to check the tutoring center. “(A program) has a professional advantage to it. It helps you get real world experience like working in groups and teams,” Thiruvadi said.

”When you go out to the real world, you need recommendations and that sort. You end up getting a lot more, academically and socially.”

Thiruvadi, a representative of the University Learning Center, said that it is satisfying and rewarding for her to tutor students in subjects like English, math and psychology.

“You can actually help peers and it is less intimidating because you’re not a professor. You’re a student and you can relate better to students.

It helps me build my professional qualities with working with people, dealing with students,” Thiruvadi said.

MEXICO: DANGER DETERS TRAVELERS From Page 1

“It’s unfortunate what is happening in Mexico,” said Luis Torres, a math major at CSUF. He said that his family is traveling from Michoacan, Mexico to his home in Fullerton. Torres is aware of the situation in Mexico and said he doesn’t have plans to go to Mexico any time soon.

Yet, with all the warnings, some students remain uninformed of the dangers south of the border.

“I was unaware of all that is going on in Mexico,” said Bianca Deanda, a child development major. Bianca and her two friends, Melanie Perez and Melissa Perez, all have plans to go to Las Vegas this year.

“We already had this trip planned... ” Deanda said.

“It’s all a media hype,” said Juan Martinez, a political science major.

Martinez believes that the media is

blowing the issue out of proportion, as he just returned from visiting Mexico two months ago and said he was fine.

“Go party in Mexico if you want to,” Martinez said.

The facts are that nearly 2,500 people were killed last year due to the rising gang and drug violence in Mexico. Earlier this month, a U.S. consulate employee and her husband were shot to death as they drove through Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. Cuidad Juarez is on the border of Texas and Mexico and is one of the deadliest cities in Mexico, according to the State Department.

Earlier this year, El Monte school board member Agustin Roberto Salcedo, along with five other men, were shot execution-style in NorthCentral Mexico, according to NBClosangeles.com.

The 33-year-old, who also served as an assistant principal at El Monte

High School, was vacationing in Durango, Mexico with his wife of two years. The couple was dining in a restaurant when gunmen showed up and kidnapped Salcedo along with five others, according to NBClosangeles.com.

Salecedo’s brother told the Los Angeles Times that there was no reason for his brother’s death.

Since Mexican President Felipe Calderon has taken office, there have been over 18,000 deaths related to drug violence in the border cities of Mexico, according to CBSnews. com. President Barack Obama has expressed outrage due to the killings of U.S. citizens, and Calderon has promised an investigation, according to CBS.com.

The violence increased in 2005, when Joaquin Guzman, Mexico’s most wanted trafficker, sent his men to take over Tijuana’s borders and to execute existing drug lord Arellano

Felix and his cartel, according to the State Department.

The killings of innocent people are to show intimidation and make people aware that when entering Mexico you are entering into the drug cartel’s territories, CBSnews. com reported.

Whether or not students are aware of the drug violence in Mexico, CSUF is taking precautionary measures and contacting all students through their personal portals in the next day or two, informing them of the warnings that have been issued regarding Mexico.

Multimedia

For more of what students think of the violence in Mexico visit: DailyTitan.com/ ViolenceMexico

IRANSA: PERSIAN NEW YEAR From Page 1

Several tables lined the quad; some displayed artifacts from Persian culture, a few provided information about the event and displayed t-shirts for sale.

One table was set up to create awareness about the 2010 census, especially for the Iranian community.

Members of the association milled around a specially set table that had several traditional household items on display, which are usually symbolic of a family’s beliefs and values.

Most Persian families also arrange boxed gifts around the table and exchange them with friends and loved ones.

“Think of it like a Christmas tree, with gifts around,” said Naz Shirdel, senior human communication major and member of the IranSA, as she explained the symbolism of the traditional table to curious onlookers.

One of the main attractions of the afternoon was “The Jewels That Raq;” a traditional dance troupe that was hired by the association to have two of its artists perform various dances for the audience.

Troupe members “Pearl” and “Divina” soon had the crowd clapping and cheering as they danced to several traditional and modern Persian songs.

Laura Diaz, who performed as “Pearl,” and whose fire dance had

the crowd enthralled, said that she was “thrilled” to be performing for a college crowd. Her fire dance, she said, was one of the more modern, theatrical pieces that had been choreographed by the renowned Robyn Friend.

As the celebrations drew to an end, a long line of hungry students snaked their way to a food-laden table manned by members of the association, who served portions of Persian cuisine to the crowd.

Shirdel said that a lot more people than expected had turned up at the event. It was a good thing, she said, since most people don’t know a whole lot about the Persian population on campus.

“We are here, we have a voice,” she said.

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March 24, 2010

Titan Editorial Providing insight, analysis and perspective since 1960

Breaking the News “From the front pages to the judging masses”

In-class first, on-court second Texas rewrites history, literally

by Tanya Ghahremani

Daily Titan Staff Writer opinion@dailytitan.com

Photo Courtesy of MCT Derrick Rose (center) is one of many players that could have been affected by U.S. Secretary of Education Arne suggested graduation rate change.

The California Golden Bears started their game against the Louisville Cardinals, March 19, on a 12-0 run and never looked back, defeating Louisville 77-62 and eliminating them from the NCAA Tournament.

If it was up to U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, both teams would have been eliminated before they even got a chance to lace up their Nikes.

Duncan is suggesting that teams that do not graduate at least 40 percent of their players be banned from postseason play.

This year, that would have kept 12 of the 65 teams in the tournament from participating, including one-seeded Kentucky. Maryland had the lowest rate of any tournament team, posting only an eight percent graduation rate. Baylor, Tennessee, Washington, Arkansas-Pine Bluff, Clemson, Georgia Tech, New Mexico State and Missouri also failed to graduate 40 percent of their players.

Those numbers are astonishingly low, considering that the vast majority of college basketball players will never play a game in the NBA. The NCAA uses a different formula to calculate graduation rates, excluding players who leave early to turn professional, drop out or transfer. However, using this formula produces only slightly better results.

Rather than the 43 percent average calculated using Duncan’s formula, the average graduation rate for last year’s tournament teams was 59 percent. That still leaves

two out of five players failing academically.

At Cal State Northridge, players have a better chance of making it in the NBA than graduating. According to U.S. News, CSUN had a graduation rate of zero percent, while players had a 1.2 percent chance of getting drafted by an NBA team.

Obviously, athletes could use the professional training and preparation that students get while earning a degree. Even becoming a professional player does not guarantee financial success.

NBA Players Association representatives told the Toronto Star in 2008 that 60 percent of NBA players go bankrupt within five years of retiring. It makes sense for some of the older players, but with today’s multi-million dollar salaries and potential endorsement funds, there is no excuse for losing all that money.

It seems it may be beneficial for students to actually learn something while in school, including players who are high NBA prospects.

Unfortunately, some people think Duncan is confusing college academics with college sports.

There is a growing belief that college basketball players at schools such as Kansas and Kentucky should be considered professionals.

Stripping players of their amateur status is merely a simple solution to the graduation rate problem; the players are still amateur athletes. Going to a “basketball school”, such as Duke or Uni-

versity of California Los Angeles, does not give athletes professional status.

In fact, two well-known basketball programs have been able to maintain extremely high graduation rates and a high level of performance on the court. Villanova, which made it to the Final Four last season, had a graduation rate of 92 percent, and national champion North Carolina had a graduation rate above 75 percent.

It is time to start imposing harsher penalties and encouraging education. NCAA teams that do not maintain a 40 percent graduation rate should be ineligible for postseason play. The rule is not meant to hurt the teams that narrowly miss the cut, but punish the teams that place little to no value on education.

The win-first mentality does not work. It has resulted in lower academic standards for studentathletes and on-court penalties.

Memphis had its Final Four appearance erased two years ago because it was found that Derrick Rose played despite being academically ineligible. University of Southern California forfeited victories and declared itself ineligible from postseason tournaments after it was discovered that O.J. Mayo had received improper benefits.

Despite all the signs that scholarships are being abused, studentathletes who have no interest in obtaining an education are still being rewarded with a free ride. Give that scholarship money to someone who will actually use it for what it is meant for: academics.

For the record Articles written for the Daily Titan by columnists, other Cal State Fullerton students or guests do not necessarily reflect the view of the Daily Titan or Daily Titan Editorial Board.

Only the editorials are representative of the views of the Daily Titan Editorial Board.

Letters to the Editor:

Any feedback, positive or negative, is encouraged, as we strive to keep an open dialogue with our readership. The Daily Titan reserves the right to edit letters for length, grammar and spelling. Direct all comments, questions or concerns along with your full name and major to the Daily Titan Opinion Desk at opinion@dailytitan.com.

So, apparently, Texas wants to revise history. And it could happen.

I also apparently put too much faith in the education system.

Earlier this month, members of the Texas State Board of Education voted to change its requirements for history curriculum in public schools, which means they could be teaching a revised version of American history, complete with its very own conservative twist.

What exactly does the Texas State Board of Education want to alter?

If they get their way, more attention will be paid to conservatives (conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly has been tossed around quite a bit in reference to these additions) and less attention will be paid to founding father Thomas Jefferson, due to his ideas and advocacy of the separation of church and state. Additionally, less attention would be paid to minorities in history.

Oh, and country music would be featured as a cultural movement. Really? What’s next, a mandated uniform of denim shirts and cowboy boots?

“These standards are rife with leftist political periods and events: the populists, the progressives, the New Deal, and the Great Society,” Texas State Board of Education member Don McLeroy, who is the proposal’s sponsor, elaborated in a written statement. “Including material about the conservative resurgence of the 1980s and 1990s provides some political balance to the document.”

History is always full of information about the “rebels” since conservatives seem to have been the norm

for most of the time. Of course more controversy would be surrounding those who were on the opposing side and discounting it because of that reason would be an injustice to history itself.

This whole situation sounds like enough of a mess, even without the next tidbit of information: Texas is one of the largest buyers of textbooks in the nation (California being the other), as well as a textbook “adoption” state. So, should they opt to change their curriculum, there’s a very real chance it could leak into the rest of the nation, because textbook distributors would alter the books to accommodate Texas.

California Sen. Leland Yee is taking steps to ensure recent changes to school textbooks in Texas do not affect California’s curriculum, according to a statement on his website.

“These curriculum changes are completely unacceptable,” Yee said, “Our children deserve better.”

To be quite blunt, it comes as a surprise that the prospect of rewriting history – even altering it

Photo Courtesy of Senator Leland yee Sen. Leland Yee (D-San Francisco) is one of many in opposition to the textbook change.

the slightest – without substantial evidence prompting it, is actually a topic of discussion. Texas has always been a conservative state, yes, but it’s still a state. Its interpretation of national history should be no different from the more liberal states’ national history.

We can’t have textbooks specific to certain states, there’s simply no difference in the material that should be presented to students.

The whole situation makes a mockery of the education system as a whole.

It seems like the Texas State Board of Education is just trying to find a way to brainwash students while they’re young and impressionable.

It’s hard to imagine a nine-year-old disputing something their history book tells them, no matter how biased the statement may be.

Of course, not only would this affect the students in state, but also those in the states who would receive the Texas-based textbooks.

The Texas State Board of Education has no right to make these kinds of decisions, nor the authority to do so.

To think that they gave it to themselves so easily falls in line with what they want to add to the textbook – a whitewashed tale of American superiority, jam-packed with feats only achievable by good ol’ fashioned Christian men.

Changing what is taught in the classroom to better suit some narrowminded conception of history that a bunch of people on the Texas State Board of Education seem to possess is neither fair to the students, nor is it respectful of the very history that they seem to be trying to protect.

Let us hope that their requests are not met.

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March 24, 2010

Flying high with DreamWorks

REVIEWS

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

by Melissa Maldonado

Daily Titan Staff Writer image courtesy DreamWorks Animation LLC

by Katie Rossomano

Daily Titan Staff Writer detour@dailytitan.com

Writers and directors Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois discussed their latest film How to Train Your Dragon with a handful of college journalists from around the country March 12.

Some areas of discussion included their experiences working together in the past, what made this film experience unique, the storyline, the appeal of a teen protagonist, their desire to make the film exciting for all age groups and even their thoughts on dragons. When asked what he would do with a dragon, Sanders admitted that he would use it to avoid traffic.

Burly Vikings always battled dragons in the rugged world depicted in How to Train Your Dragon, until one unique teenager, Hiccup, decided to try a different method: training.

DreamWorks Animation is making this fantastical setting real for audiences by presenting it in 3-D. Gerard Butler (300), Jay Baruschel (She’s Out of My League) and Jonah Hill (Superbad) are a few of the actors who’s voices will be familiar to many audience members.

This adventure comedy hits theaters March 26.

Daily Titan: What audience is

this film directed toward? Which age group do you think will enjoy it the most?

Chris Sanders: You know, the interesting thing about working where we do is it’s very important to not exclude an age group.

But otherwise, you are not aiming towards any particular one. Dean and I worked very hard to get the story right ... we first and foremost just try to please ourselves.

DT: What is it about the movie that you think will attract the teenagers, the non-children demographic?

CS: Two things. I think that the level of action in the film. It’s very grownup in that the film actually starts with a battle.

But the other thing is that it is a story that emotionally, I think, would speak to them. It’s about a kid who is in that exact same age range, who is struggling with his identity.

And he is struggling with the problem of, does he believe what people tell him about the world, or does he make up his own mind?

And it’s really important.

I mean it is important for people who watch this to take that away.

That one of the messages of the movie is that no matter what you have been told since you were a kid,

do your best to make up your own mind about it. And not to believe people if they tell you that you are weak or that you have shortcomings.

Because those perceived weaknesses and those perceived shortcomings are actually very possibly your great strengths.

DT: What was your initial concept for the film?

CS: The interesting thing about this film is that it’s very different for Dean and I. We came out of this film after it had already been in production in DreamWorks for several years.

And there were some problems with it. So by the time Dean and I came onto the project we had a very clear task ahead of us which was to try to not only increase the scale of the movie and just build up the whole adventure of the thing.

DT: If you had a dragon, what kind would it be and what would you do with it?

Dean DeBlois: OK. Well I am choosing from the dragons in the film, I would probably want a Night Fury myself because I like its compact size, and I like that it’s an expert flyer and that it has more of a Mammalian design than reptilian.

He looks like a big panther. Very strong and stout and kind of a Ferrari of dragons in my mind.

detour@dailytitan.com

Chelsea Hander does it again with her newest comedy-packed book Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. The best-selling

author has collected another hilarious batch of personal essays about her life, introducing new people such as her boyfriend and CEO of Comcast.

Old favorites also return, including her dad, who she tries to teach social graces by keeping him indoors.

Handler – whose previous best seller, Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, is still number six on the charts – never fails to deliver laugh-out-loud moments.

From sending mass e-mails to coworkers about gynecologists coming to the show to perform “outstanding care,” to matchmaking gone wild to adventures on shrooms, Handler’s cheeky wit entices you to read the book in just one sitting.

The comedian and host of her own TV show on E!, Chelsea Lately, has a unique sense of dry humor, and you can hear her voice coming off the pages. However, some of the stories tend to drag and lose their focus, but her insults against her family and preposterous pranks lure you to the next page.

The 256-page memoir is definitely

not for children. The raunchy first chapter about discovering masturbation at a young age could be offensive and disturbing to some, but her eclectic collection of stories and comical approach make for a racy, absorbing read.

I do question if the stories are actually true. Her tales of trying to purchase a dolphin for her 8-foot fish tank in her condo are absolutely absurd and impossible. But on the other hand, for those who regularly watch her show, can we really doubt her outlandishness? After all, it is Chelsea Handler.

Regardless of her reliability, the comedian has produced another entertaining and provocative read. From her dedication, “to my brothers and sisters … what a bunch of assholes,” to the last line of the acknowledgments, “and finally, thank you Belvedere Vodka for keeping me sane,” Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is “good, good, good, good.”

The novel makes for a great spring break read. Let the chaos ensue – Chelsea Handler style.

taking turns complaining with his friends about how life was boring. He realized that news sometimes detailed the exploits of desperate people who agreed about how mundane life could be. He accumulated examples of newspaper clippings that proved every person has a dark side, an obsession or fetish, or a “quixotically themed button just waiting to be pushed.”

As of 2006, the Web site is syndicated by the Universal Press Syndicate and is published in more than 250 newspapers in the United States and Canada. News of the Weird has run weekly in a couple hundred newspapers for 21 years.

If you want to find stories within your neck of the woods, select ‘Weird Map’ to narrow your search by click-

ing a specific state. Navigate to the news section to find the news archive or the lead story of the week. Top stories are categorized by humorous titles such as “Bright Ideas,” a BBC News article about a newly-created parking lot in Shijiazhuang, China that was designed to meet females’ “strong sense of color and different sense of distance,” according to BBC. The spaces, painted in pink and purple, are three feet wider than regular spaces.

In "Sometimes, you just have to prove theirs is bigger," a man in Washington D.C. was convicted of murder for shooting a gardener four times in the face. On the witness stand, he said, “He got grass on me. I take pride in my appearance.” (According to The Washington Post).

WeirdUniverse.net

by Ashley Luu

Daily Titan Staff Writer detour@dailytitan.com

If you’re not a fan of reading a newspaper or browsing through numerous headlines online, WeirdUniverse.net can be an alternative for strange, but factual news.

It explores stories that are “stranger than we can imagine,” according to the site, and everything comes from a professional reporter at a legitimate news organization.

Weird Universe is the product of two Internet columns: Weird News and Pro Edition that merged in July 2008. Weird Universe displays posts of current news stories that are unorthodox, video clips and unique photographs or artwork.

Weird Universe is managed by Alex Boese, curator of the Museum of Hoaxes, Paul Di Filippo, science fiction writer, and Chuck Shepard, News of the Weird creator.

Weird News is a daily Internet column, edited by Shepard. He came up with the idea in the '70s when he was

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March 24, 2010

1600 Miscellaneous

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Daily Sudoku: Wed 17-Mar-2010

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Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Keep the ball rolling.

Whatever you’ve started is important enough to merit consistent effort. Provide direction for others.

How To Play: Each row must contain the numbers 1 to 9; each column must contain the numbers 1 to 9: and each set of boxes must contain the numbers 1 to 9.

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Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Watch where you’re going.

Today you’ll be apt to rush into things. Consider the second or third step before you even start.

Daily Sudoku: Wed 17-Mar-2010 hard

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) You have your eye on the prize. Make sure that your heart agrees. Otherwise, emotions will block the path and cost you the race.

4

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Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) No one’s fooled when you cover up your feelings. You wear your heart on your sleeve. Confession is good for the soul.

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Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) More people accept an idea you’ve been hatching for some time. Talk about the nuts and bolts. What do you need to make this happen?

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Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Work could be difficult today unless you try lighting a fire under a creative co-worker and letting him or her run with the ball.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Ease into a public presentation by considering the possibilities. Try not to focus on your nervous stomach. Eyes on the prize.

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(c) Daily Sudoku Ltd 2010. All rights reserved.

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Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Two people get together to hatch a brilliant plan. The logic escapes you at first, but later you agree wholeheartedly.

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Cancer (June 22-July 22) Put yourself in the driver’s seat early. Let your partner ride shotgun. At least you control the speed, if not the destination.

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Gemini (May 21-June 21) Well, you’re halfway out of the box. Creative thinking really works. Imagination carries you past the hard work to the goal.

Sudoku brought to you by dailysudoku.com

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Taurus (April 20-May 20) Make sure everyone dances to the same drummer. Logic dictates the need for responsible effort if change is to occur.

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Aries (March 21-April 19) All intelligent activity earns praise from those in power. Throw in a little creativity and you’ll appreciate the work as well.

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Daily Sudoku: Wed 17-Mar-2010

Horoscopes

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March 24, 2010

Titan power couple fights to save their sports The Hickses are battling to save the respectable programs they built By brian whitehead

Daily Titan Staff Writer sports@dailytitan.com

Eighth-year wrestling Head Coach Dan Hicks and his wife fourth-year gymnastics Head Coach Jill Hicks are fighting an uphill battle, a battle that extends far beyond the 236-acre campus of Cal State Fullerton.

With a lack of sufficient funding threatening the futures of their respective sports at CSUF, the Hickses have had to do much more than coach this season. This year they’ve had to evolve into money-gatherers, event planners, spokespersons and entrepreneurs.

“Trying to be a head coach and raise so much money is really twoto-three full-time jobs,” Jill said. “It’s not realistic to be able do that year to year.”

Reality is, the odds that both programs will be brought back for the 2010-11 season are slim and evershrinking.

“Obviously funding is the issue,” Jill said. “I don’t mind working really hard and doing my part in whatever it takes to help the athletic department, but my hope is that the president and vice-president (of CSUF) would see that the kids are valuable, and fund our programs.”

Through luncheons, recurring events, donations, all-star meets and every other conceivable manner of raising money, the Hickses have done their best to replenish the lack of funds allotted for their programs.

Despite how much money both programs raise, how much support they garner and how successful their teams are, the Hickses know the future of their sports is still in jeopardy.

photo By nick marley/Daily Titan Photo Editor Titan wrestling Head Coach Dan Hicks grapples with one of his wrestlers during practice. Hicks, who is in his eighth season at the helm of the CSUF wrestling program, was a former two-time NCAA wrestling champion at Oregon State University.

But that won’t stop either from planning, and hoping, for the best.

“My first goal is to try to get things turned around to where we aren’t doing all the fundraising to survive,” Jill said. “It’s really tiring and hard to be entirely focused on your team when you’re trying to do both of those things.”

Through this struggle, they’ve managed to keep their programs above water while the same programs nationwide go under.

“In the state, there are only eight four-year institutions that have wrestling,” Dan said. “There used to be 36. (College wrestling) just keeps getting attacked and destroyed when, in fact, the numbers of kids are bigger than ever. ” With both programs teetering on

the edge of extinction, the Hickses have jointly designed methods in which to raise money.

“We strategize together how to go about raising money with different events and help each other figure out what we have to do because we are kind of linked,” Dan said.

Now in their fourth year working side-by-side at CSUF, Jill and Dan have learned a thing or two from each other, especially when it concerns disciplining and motivating their athletes.

“I tend to have more compassion and a nurturing side and (Dan) tends to be more aggressive and sees it black and white,” Jill said. “That’s where he’s helped me become better, and hopefully I’ve rubbed off on him.”

As for notable individual accomplishments as coaches and saviors of their sports, both look far beyond the mere outcome of a single match or meet.

“We’ve not only saved wrestling, but we’ve become respectable in the west and caught up with all the teams in the west,” Dan said. “Across the country, people respect CSUF.” As for the gymnastics program, Jill needs to look no further than the past couple months to find her biggest accomplishment during her stint at CSUF. “(January 10), we won our meet against a team that’s full-funded and it was one of the most satisfying things,” Jill said.

“We didn’t win nationals, but for them to go in all four events and

photo courtesy matt brown Fourth-year CSUF gymnastics Head Coach Jill Hicks prepares for a gymnastics meet.

be successful with all the negative things that they have to experience, it was a great feeling.

“It taught us all something. It was really powerful,” she said.

However this gymnastics/wrestling funding situation works out, the Hickses have no reservations about their time spent trying to save their programs.

“These careers that we have are

our passion in life,” Jill said. “We love working with kids, we love being part of their lives, that’s why we do it. That foundation in our life has made this job a dream come true for the both of us.

“We realize that this is a huge blessing to be here at Fullerton and both be head coaches,” she said.

“This is something we would do even if it wasn’t our job.”

Titans lose eighth straight match By camille tarazon

Daily Titan Staff Writer sports@dailytitan.com

photos By camille tarazon/Daily Titan Staff Writer Junior Karina Akhmedova successfully makes contact with the ball as she reaches out with a backhanded swing during her singles match against New Mexico State.

The Cal State Fullerton women’s tennis team was defeated by the Aggies of New Mexico State, 6-2 on Tuesday.

“We lost to them last year and they lost to Irvine yesterday, so they’re pretty good,” Titan Head Coach Bill Reynolds said.

Titan freshmen Monica Rodriguez and Tiffany Mai fought to the last serve to win their doubles match 8-6 against New Mexico’s senior Aleksa Costa and junior Isabela Kulaif.

“They were really energetic,” Mai said.

Regardless of their win, Rodriguez felt that they should have came out a lot stronger from the beginning.

“We started off slow and picked it up at the end. We want to stay consistent from beginning to end,” Rodriguez said.

In another doubles match, senior Jerusha Cruz and junior Erin Wiesener lost to Aggies’ senior Sophia Marks and sophomore Manon Sylvain 8-1.

“We can’t really prepare for them until we see them play,” Wiesener said. “They were really aggressive

and all over the net. We kept making errors, and we needed to be more consistent.”

The Titans also lost five of six singles matches. The only win was from Mai, with her opponent suffering from an injury in the third set.

Junior Karina Akhmedova fought hard in her singles match, but still lost 75-64 to New Mexico freshman Elizabeth Tapia.

“Sometimes you can play your best tennis, but you still run into better players, and Karina came real close,” Reynolds said. “I know they have a lot of South American players, so they play a lot on clay courts, which will make them better singles players.”

Reynolds felt that no particular player stood out from the team.

“They’re all fighting. If I had to give out a game ball, I would give it to the team. I think the main thing is we’re just getting better and we need to keep pressing forward,” he said.

The Titans fought until the finish without losing their focus.

“They’re getting better and improving. There’s certain things you have to take control over: your attitude and your effort, and they are taking control over that,” Reynolds said.

Senior Jerusha Cruz keeps her eye on the ball as she takes a swing in her doubles match.