Daily Deets April 2019

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Carole Montgomery’s Funny Women of a certain age

Mueller Mania

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Avenatti Arrested in NYC

Mueller

Mania

The Mueller Report is finished & now America awaits its findings. But in the meantime, President Trump is touting 4-page summary from his hand picked Attorney General, William Barr, who quoted 65 words out of the 300plus page Mueller Report in his 4-page summary.

The reality is that it almost doesn't matter what the report actually says because everyone has already made up their minds one way or the other.Â

You’ve said you don’t usually see more than one female comic on a show at the same time in the clubs. Is this something you’re hoping the Showtime special will change?

Of course. The reason why the Showtime special is groundbreaking is not only are there SIX women on the show, they're all over 50! We're making history here. Sadly though, I don't know if it will change anything. If you look at any comedy club calendar's full year, there's MAYBE 5 female headliners out of 52 weeks. And the number I'm using is probably too high. And that's a real shame. There are so many great women comics out there that should be working more.

Funny Women Of A Certain Age is phenomenal. I got to see one of the earlier shows you did at the Kraine Theater in NY and it was packed. Even then it felt like something special was happening.

Did you know it was going to turn into something this historic then?

I'm still walking around in a daze because I can't believe it really happening. I knew we had something special just because of the amount of talent I wrote down when I first came up with the idea. I had over 100 names of women of 50 who were comics. When I lowered the age to 40, I added another 100 more!

One thing I’ve noticed about the women you choose for your shows is even though their acts are real, raw, and pack a ton of truth you can’t hide the underlying joy delivered behind each joke. Where does that come from after all these years? Do you guys still have hope for the future?

For me, stand up is who I am. I've taken time off to do other things but I always come back to it. In the game of tag, you always go to home base to be safe. Stand up is my home base. You have to have hope for the future, without it why wake up? And since I see the Grim Reaper everywhere I keep going no matter what. Life's short and it's over before you know it.

What goes on behind the scenes in the green room before the show?

Any fun rituals you guys have?

For the TV special we were all just trying to keep our energy up and be supportive. Literally 5 minutes before I had to go on I decided I didn't like my hair so Vanessa and Kerri brought out brushes and hair product and went to town on my hair. For the Kraine shows we all just like to bullshit and catch up with who's doing what. I try to keep a very chill vibe backstage.

I read you started doing comedy when you were 21 & saw on Facebook a photo from when you were 9 with comedian Joe E. Ross. Was that the age when you got the comedy bug?

I got my sense of humor from both parents.

But as a young child my dad was bigger than life and funny. We would watch TV during dinner in the kitchen and it was always I Love Lucy. He introduced me to the Marx Brothers too. Summers were spent in the Catskills where my dad was a bartender. They used to have talent shows for all the kids and I did a version of Little Red Riding Hood where I played all the characters. (I had gotten the idea from Soupy Sales) So yea I think that's when it all started.

Who would you love to get for this show that you haven’t been able to yet? Who’s your dream headliner?

I'd love to get Margaret Cho on either a live show or on TV, she's an old friend of mine and so funny. My dream headliner would be Lily Tomlin, she's my hero.

The title of this column is Just Off Stage, so in the spirit of things, how do you feel about the last set you did?

I was happy with it. But I'm not someone who analyzes my act. Sometimes the crowd is ok, sometimes they're good, sometimes they suck and sometimes they're amazing. I've learned you can't please everyone. So I just go to the next show.

Avenatti Just Do It! Michael Avenatti, the attorney who represented Stormy Daniels, was arrested in NY for trying to extort $20 million from NIKE over their recruitment of college athletes.

Arrested In Los Angeles, Avenatti was charged by the State of California for increasing his net worth in order to secure bank loans & cheating clients out of their financial settlements.

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Bieber’s Time Out

Justin Bieber is acclimating to marriage with a self imposed hiatus from his career. Bieber revealed in an interview that he & Hailey sometimes argue, saying they struggle with a common problem newlyweds have, communicating with one another.

So I read a lot of messages saying you want an album ..

I’ve toured my whole teenage life, and early 20s, I realized and as you guys probably saw I was unhappy last tour and I don’t deserve that and you don’t deserve that, you pay money to come and have a lively energetic fun light concert and I was unable emotionally to give you that near the end of the tour. I have been looking, seeking, trial and error as most of us do, I am now very focused on repairing some of the deep rooted issues that I have as most of us have, so that I don’t fall apart, so that I can sustain my marriage and be the father I want to be. Music is very important to me but Nothing comes before my family and my health. I will come with a kick ass album ASAP, my swag is undeniable and my drive is indescribable his love is supernatural his grace is that reliable.... the top is where I reside period whether I make music or not the king said so. ' but I will come with a vengeance believe that.. (grammar and punctuation will be terrible pretend it’s a text where u just don’t care).


 ( New York Crime Blotter )

In Apple We Trust, Tech Behemoth Takes Charge * Apple's latest unveiling isn't for a new phone, tablet or laptop, but rather new ways to watch TV, a new way to read magazines & a new way to pay for it all. Apple Card is virtual, but users can get a flashy titanium one…Apple TV+ will stream original content to your devices & with Apple’s purchase of the popular magazine app, Texture, they will offer over 300 magazines on Apple News+.

..And the Oscar or Emmy goes to..

Apple T V

+

Apple has 700 million users worldwide & millions of them are already streaming Netflix, Hulu or Amazon content to their iPhone for a monthly fee, so Tim Cook decided it’s time to bring Hollywood’s box office to Cupertino.

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Mets & Yankees 2019 Preview

by Chris Tarantino

The Mets enter the season with a great deal of optimism as GM Brodie Van Wagenen has made some nice offseason moves to improve both offense and pitching, especially the bullpen.

The acquisition of Robinson Cano and Edwin "Sugar" Díaz from the Seattle Mariners could play a key role this season. Cano, 36, is looking to find the fountain of youth and says he feels 25 years old. He brings in a track record of staying relatively healthy each year, with the exception of last year where he missed 80 games due to a PED suspension. He looks for a fresh start in the Big Apple and maybe another championship?? At $15 million this year, the Mets hope he can perform at a high level. Most importantly he will play a key role in leadership for the younger guys particularly for Díaz.

As for Díaz, 25 at the start of the season, the Mets get a grade A closer who can throw 100+ mph with outstanding control. He put up a 1.94 ERA and 0.79 WHIP while striking out 124 in only 73 innings, and lead the league in saves with 57 saves.

Also in the bullpen, Jeurys Familia rejoins then Mets after being dealt to the Oakland Athletics in the middle of last season. He gives the Mets a solid middle to late inning reliever to setup Díaz and a bullpen that should be a menace to face.

In addition to Cano and Díaz, joining the Mets this season is catcher Wilson Ramos who was signed to a two-year, $19 million contract, with a club option for a third year. He brings in a questionable bill of health as he had two surgeries on his right knee in 2012 and 2016.

Ramos was an all-star selection last year but missed the game because he was on the DL due to a left hamstring strain. He claims to be over all of his ailments. “I’m very happy to be doing everything...Right now, I’m 100%. I can do everything I want. I’m doing a lot of things: running, agility stuff, lifting.

I couldn’t do that before because I was trying to get my knee stronger.

Right now, it’s totally different”, Ramos said. The Mets were considering J.T. Realmuto (who signed with the Phillies) as an option at catcher this season, but decided to go with the discount in Ramos. This could be a smart move by Van Wagenen. If Ramos can stay healthy this year, he could put up some numbers that could rival Realmuto’s stats.

The New York Yankees come into 2019 looking to close out a run of 10 years without a championship.

The Bombers made some nice off season moves while keeping much of their core together. They acquired LHP James Paxton from the Seattle Mariners, he’s a quality pitcher but has had health issues over the past few seasons. In addition to Paxton, last year’s mid-season trades to acquire lefty pitching, starter J.A. Happ and stud reliever Zack Britton (he switched back to his birth name, he was previously using Zach.) hope to be the arms they have been looking for. Joining them in the starting rotation are Luis Severino, Masahiro Tanaka, and C.C. Sabathia. Other notables that will be in pinstripes this season are infielders, D.J. LeMahieu and Troy Tulowitzski, and standout RHP reliever Adam Ottavino, all former Colorado Rockies. Returning to the organization, the Yankees announced Andy Pettitte will be a Special Adviser to the GM. All of these new additions will join Aaron Judge, Giancarlo Stanton, Miguel Andujar, Gleyber Torres, Aaron Hicks, Luke Voit, Gary Sanchez, and Brett Gardner to form one of the most dangerous lineups in the majors. Andujar and Torres finished 2nd and 3rd in the 2018 A.L. Rookie of the Year voting. Britton and Ottavino will be helping, Dellin Betances set up flame throwing closer Aroldis Chapman - who currently holds the record for the fastest pitch ever recorded at 105.1 mph. Chapman’s left knee is a bit of concern as he spent some time on the DL last year which caused his velocity to dip. Britton and Ottavino could also step into the closer role if Chatham should miss any time.

This season early betting lines show the Yankees are favored to win the World Series at +600 followed by the Red Sox and Houston Astros at +650, and the Los Angeles Dodgers at +750.

As for the A.L. East Division the Yanks are also the favorite to win at -120 with the Red Sox sitting at +115. Judge is hoping to win an MVP but playing in the A.L. makes it tough because the favorite will probably be Mike Trout and Mookie Betts is the reigning champ. Judge is such a elite player and if he can stay healthy, he could make this race much tighter at the end of the year.

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Las Vegas Fun Facts!

Las Vegas is the entertainment capital of the world & its bright lights, which can be seen from space, can cost a hotel up to $350k a month for electricity. 15 of the top 25 hotels in the world are in Las Vegas which in Spanish means, ‘The Meadows.’

Donny & Marie Are Leaving Las Vegas We never expected our 6-week run to turn into 11 years, but we're so glad that it did. This is a very bittersweet decision for us, and it's difficult to adequately express my gratitude for our Vegas chapter.

It's a strange feeling knowing that the end is on the horizon. Last night after the show, I couldn't help but think about all that I'm going to miss once it's over.

I'm going to miss performing on stage with my extremely talented sister every night. She's the best partner in crime a guy could ask for.

I'm going to miss seeing and interacting with our fans who have come to see our show and made this 11year run a great success. We really couldn't have done it without your support.

I'm going to miss our home away from home, @FlamingoVegas. We've had the time of our lives here.

I'm going to miss our world-class band members, crew and dancers who have devoted countless hours towards making this show an outstanding entertainment experience.

I've had to put many personal projects on hold for the past 11 years. Once our residency comes to a close, I'll be able to work on those projects again. First item on the docket will be taking some time to laser focus on my 62nd album. There are so many exciting things in the pipeline right now, and I can't wait to tell you more! @marieosmond and I have loved every minute of our time in Vegas, and we're both excited for a fresh chapter. Who knows -- maybe sometime in the future we'll get together again to sing a little bit country and a little bit rock 'n' roll. + , But for now, we've got a few months left to enjoy every performance and give Vegas everything we've got! So if you're hoping to come see our Vegas show, I've got a friendly tip for you — now is the time! -

Aerosmith begin their long awaited Las Vegas Residency in April at the Park MGM & thanks to the worldwide demand for tickets, Aerosmith added numerous dates for this fall & winter. They’ll perform in LV during the months of; April, June, July, September, October, November & December.

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Donny & Marie Are Leaving Las Vegas

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