Daily Corinthian 080413 by Daily Corinthian

Daily Corinthian • Sunday, August 4, 2013 • 9A

Grandma of eight calls halt to last-minute baby-sitting DEAR ABBY: I’m a 60-year-old grandmother of eight wonderful grandchildren, ranging in age from 2 to 24. My question is about baby-sitting. I believe my children think we owe them baby-sitting duties. I don’t mind baby-sitting once in a while, when I feel like it. But I don’t feel like it when the parents want to go out and party, or they tell me at the last minute, “little Susie needs some Grandma time,” or they want to go to the gym because they don’t want to give up the freedom they had before their children came along. What are your thoughts on boundaries for this generation of parents-who-want-it-all at the expense of my generation who, back in the day, if a neighbor kid couldn’t baby-sit, we just stayed home? I know I should have set some rules at the beginning, but I’m starting to feel resentful of their expectations. -- WANTS SOME FREEDOM, TOO, IN MINNESOTA DEAR WANTS SOME FREEDOM, TOO: There is truth to the saying that “good fences make good neighbors,” and the philosophy applies to many circumstances. Setting clear boundaries makes for healthier relationships. Keep in mind that many grandparents would love to have your “problem.” But as you stated, your problem was in not setting ground rules from the beginning. Because you feel resentful,

it’s time to have a frank talk with your children and say that as much as the grandkids may “need” Abigail G r a n d m a GrandVan Buren time, ma also needs GrandDear Abby ma time. And when you do, be firm -- because unless you stand your ground, nothing will change. DEAR ABBY: I’m 62 years old and a widower. My wife passed away in July 2011. It has taken me a while to get over losing her. I realize how much she did for me as I have been learning how to be a house husband without a wife. My wife told me this was the first house she lived in that had a dishwasher. She was so proud of it! I could never understand why she would wash the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher. Now I have to do it myself, I understand why. My question is, is there a detergent that will actually clean the dishes? Also, do you have any cute readers who would like to teach an old man how to clean house? -- FENDING FOR MYSELF DEAR FENDING: I’m sorry I can’t print your name or location because if I did, you might

be crushed in the stampede. If you and your late wife were married 20 or 30 years and the dishwasher was already installed in the house when you moved in, it is now practically an antique. Because you have tried several brands of detergent and your dishes aren’t getting clean, you probably need a new dishwasher. (And I do not mean a cute, young one.) DEAR ABBY: I am not happy. No matter what I do, I am filled with emptiness and loneliness every minute of every single day. Being near friends and family lifts my spirits, but only for a little while. Then I am reminded once more of my loneliness and emptiness. I feel like I am being consumed by misery, and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. Please tell me what to do. -- SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS DEAR SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS: The feelings you describe can be symptoms of chronic depression, which is a treatable illness. That’s why I’m urging you to discuss them with a physician. A combination of medication and talk therapy can help you feel better again, so don’t put it off. (Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.)

Horoscopes ARIES (March 21-April 19). You have an original and creative mind, as evidenced by the choices you make today. A small thing like the color you wear or your choice of words will be the cause of interest and attraction. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Social interaction is never only what it seems to be on the surface. Attuned to the undercurrents, you will learn something that will amuse you for weeks to come. There is power in this knowledge. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You have your reasons for wanting things to stay the same around the home. But you’ll also be very adaptable when things change, as they will tomorrow. Take a few pics to document this time. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You experience what it means to be a part of a collective. You’ll speak in terms of “we” and “us,” put the group mindset at the forefront of your thoughts, and

act in accordance with what the group needs. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You don’t require that everyone think like you. You respect the way people stand by their opinions and appreciate enthusiasm for things that don’t inspire the same zeal in you. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll be a bit distracted in a good way. Your high level of interest in a subject fuels productivity. When you take part in activities that feed your soul, you are less hungry for actual food. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The kindness you show and the way you interact with people will make a difference. The day will be better because of you. Later, when people want to show their gratitude, let them. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Roll with the changes and stay positive -- you have every reason to be! A minor loss will turn out to be a major gain, and you will

be free to find a better match. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’re on the right path, and the rightness of it is what gives you power. People will get out of your way. You have the strength, fire and mystical presence of a benevolent dragon. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You have a skill that you can easily apply in a different arena today, and you will be lucky when you do. You will uplift others and feel better yourself for making the effort. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Those who want to repay you for your past kindnesses may give more than they can afford. You’ll accept all gifts graciously, especially the unexpected ones. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Whether to expect things or not to expect them depends on the day really. On a day like this, it’s better not to have any expectations, opting instead to let life surprise and delight you.

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