Wisdom
5B • Daily Corinthian
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Couple hesitates to confess living arrangements DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, “Jenny,� and I are being married next year. Jenny is a devout Catholic and is having a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that we’re living together. We recently moved out of state as a result of job transfers and -- for purely economic reasons -- moved in together. Now that we’re about to be married, Jenny is beside herself with what to tell her new parish priest because she’s afraid he will refuse to marry us if she reveals that we’re living together. Abby, I love Jenny very much, and I’m concerned that this is going to cause
problems between us. She’s considering not telling the priest that Abigail we live toVan Buren gether because she Dear Abby feels he wouldn’t understand. I’m inclined to agree. Before we moved, we were living separately. Any advice would be helpful. -- LIVING IN SIN IN ST. LOUIS DEAR LIVING IN SIN: I don’t know what the policies are in St. Louis, but some dioceses will not marry couples who co-
habitate unless they first separate. You and your fiancee should go to the priest, explain the entire situation, including the economic reasons for your living together, and tell him you would like to be married. It may not be as bad as Jenny fears. The alternative, starting married life with a lie, is worse than separating temporarily. DEAR ABBY: My husband of many years has asked me to promise him that I won’t inform his family and adult children when he dies. He wants no funeral or obituary -nothing to mark his passing. I am concerned because his health isn’t good
and I must decide soon if I can make that promise. His adult children and their families rarely call, visit or write to him. They never send a greeting card for any occasion. The only time he hears from them is when they want something. He says that since they don’t care about him while he’s living, they won’t care when he dies. I feel torn about this. Only a few members of his family like me. I don’t want to cause more hard feelings. Were my husband to die next week, I would be hard-pressed to obey his final wish. I would want to notify those few family members who would be hurt if
I didn’t. Please print this. Perhaps his children will see it and change their ways. But please don’t mention my name or town. -- BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE DEAR BETWEEN: While I understand your husband’s desire that his children, who show no concern for him, not be notified in the event of his death, I do not agree that they should not be told of their father’s passing. People who feel the need to mourn should be allowed to work through their grief and achieve closure. Failure to notify them will only fuel the fire of resentment they al-
ready feel for you. In spite of their inattentiveness, the children should be notified, whether there is to be a funeral or not. If you wish to have a memorial service of some kind to enable you and those you care about to grieve, you should be entitled to have a private one. His children can hold their own service if they need the closure.
“The Sopranos,� featuring an abrupt blackout ending that left fans intrigued, puzzled — and in some cases, infuriated.
71. Actor Jurgen Prochnow is 71. Media commentator Jeff Greenfield is 69. Country singersongwriter Thom Schuyler is 60. Former Sen. John Edwards, D-N.C., is 59. Actor Andrew Stevens is 57. Singer Barrington Henderson is 56. Former New York Governor-turned-media commentator Eliot Spitzer is 53. Rock musician Kim Deal is 51. Singer Maxi Priest is 51. Actress Gina Gershon is 50. Actress Jeanne Tripplehorn is 49. Rock musician Jimmy Chamberlin is 48. Actress Kate Flannery is 48. Model-actress Elizabeth Hurley is 47. Rock musician Joey Santiago is 47. Actor Doug McKeon is 46. Rock musician Emma Anderson is 45. Country musician Brian Hofeldt (The Derailers) is 45. Rapper The D.O.C. is 44.
(Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.)
Today in history Today is Sunday, June 10, the 162nd day of 2012. There are 204 days left in the year.
Today’s Highlight in History On June 10, 1942, during World War II, German forces massacred 173 male residents of Lidice (LIH’-dyiht-zeh), Czechoslovakia, in retaliation for the killing of Nazi official Reinhard Heydrich.
On this date In 1692, the first official execution resulting from the Salem witch trials in Massachusetts took place as Bridget Bishop was hanged. In 1861, during the Civil War, Confederate troops routed Union soldiers in the Battle of Big Bethel in Virginia. In 1907, eleven men in five cars set out from
the French embassy in Beijing on a race to Paris. (Prince Scipione Borghese of Italy was the first to arrive in the French capital two months later.) In 1921, President Warren G. Harding signed into law the Budget and Accounting Act, which created the Bureau of the Budget and the General Accounting Office. In 1922, singer-actress Judy Garland was born Frances Ethel Gumm in Grand Rapids, Minn. In 1935, Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in Akron, Ohio by Dr. Robert Holbrook Smith and William Griffith Wilson. In 1940, Italy declared war on France and Britain; Canada declared war on Italy. In 1967, the Middle East War ended as Israel
and Syria agreed to observe a United Nationsmediated cease-fire. In 1971, President Richard M. Nixon lifted a two-decades-old trade embargo on China. In 1982, the play “Torch Song Trilogy,� by Harvey Fierstein, opened on Broadway. In 1985, socialite Claus von Bulow was acquitted by a jury in Providence, R.I., at his retrial on charges he’d tried to murder his heiress wife, Martha “Sunny� von Bulow. In 1991, 11-year-old Jaycee Dugard of South Lake Tahoe, Calif. was abducted by Phillip and Nancy Garrido; Jaycee was held by the couple for 18 years before she was found by authorities.
Ten years ago Organized crime figure John Gotti died at a
prison hospital in Springfield, Mo., at age 61. A partial solar eclipse cast a shadow over parts of eastern Asia, the Pacific Ocean and North America.
One year ago Five years ago President George W. Bush was enthusiastically welcomed to Albania. The crews of Atlantis and the international space station greeted each other after the space shuttle arrived at the orbiting outpost. At the French Open, Rafael Nadal defeated Roger Federer, 6-3, 4-6, 6-3, 6-4. Suzann Pettersen shot a 5-under 67 for a one-shot victory over Karrie Webb at the LPGA Championship. “Spring Awakening� was named best musical at the Tony Awards; “The Coast of Utopia,� best play. HBO aired the final episode of
In a stern rebuke, Defense Secretary Robert Gates warned in Brussels that the future of the historic NATO military alliance was at risk because of European penny pinching and a distaste for front-line combat. Tony La Russa managed his 5,000th game as his St. Louis Cardinals lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 8-0.
Today’s Birthdays Britain’s Prince Philip is 91. Columnist Nat Hentoff is 87. Attorney F. Lee Bailey is 79. Actress Alexandra Stewart is 73. Singer Shirley Alston Reeves (The Shirelles) is
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