Create the Ripple Magazine December 2020

Page 56

Too Much to Lose

Have you ever been

By Abigail Teixeira

at a place in your life where you knew you had too much to lose if things did not change immediately?

Well, my story begins when I found myself in that very same place, I just spoke about, 6 years ago. I had hit rock bottom and not the kind you picture when you think about somebody’s lowest point in their life. You see, my rock bottom was an internal one, because on the outside looking in, my life seemed great. I had a flourishing 55

To o M u c h To L o s e

career as a nurse, I was newly married to the love of my life, we had a nice home, new cars, and were traveling often to places like Europe, south America, USA, and all over Canada. On the inside I was slowly killing myself, I was in so much emotional pain and was carrying around a heavy load of deep shame, guilt and dark depression. At the time, I had not learned any healthy ways of coping with it all, so I had long turned to self medicating with substances, mainly alcohol. As a second-generation immigrant, my upbringing was turbulent, and I experienced a lot of traumatic events in my childhood. My parents were young and new to the country, their main focus was to provide food and shelter for me and my two sisters. They both carried a lot of generational trauma as


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Create the Ripple Magazine December 2020 by CreateTheRippleMagazine - Issuu