CQ#1

C Q CQ MAGAZINE #1 !

OCT – DEC 2014 !

X MARKS THE SPOT Tina Yusof and Dea Ishak on their Criss Cross filmmaking experience!

CREATIVE CORNERS Over fifteen short stories and poems for your reading pleasure!!

GET AHEAD Hints and tips for that all-important interview

HELLO WORLD!

WELCOME TO OUR FIRST EVER ISSUE!

DILEMA TEATER Ani Aziz Zakaria mengolah isu naratif dan karakter!

A ZINE THING Head to head with Xrantarox Farid, editor of Gelanggang Filem

EDITORIAL NOTE! W

hat is it about writing that we

cannot let go?

I do not know about you, but for me, there are times when I just cannot breathe unless I write. Times when I badly want the world to stop for just a few minutes because I need to sit down quietly and release these burdening words out of my chest. It is like, something that is inside of you screaming to be free. Lock it in and you shall go crazy in agony. You cannot think straight , you do not function well, unless you vomit and bleed out every bit of it.

I did not start writing out of choice. Or at least that's what I think. I began writing because when I was a little girl, I had no real friends. I observed so many things and had so many stories to tell, so much feelings and thoughts to share, yet I was scared.

I was afraid of being vocal, of being wrong. I was afraid of the words my head came up with, afraid of uttering them.

Then one day I figured out I can do so on a paper. A paper will not judge me. A paper will not ask, "Why are you fucking weak?" or "What the hell were you thinking?" or "Are you okay?"

23 years, 40 songs, 2 published books, and countless secret diaries later, my former colleague Fikri invited me in becoming the editor of this -- CQ. Where we gather various forms of creative writing from various young writers.

To be honest, they are mostly our former and current students, but

really, does it matter? When you write, you are just a human. Writing humanises you. Fikri and I are not teachers here. No way. We are... gatherers. Like that television program, The Pickers? Yes. We too intend to go around digging for good stuff from the underdogs.

Metaphorically speaking.

I believe there are many writers out there who want their voices to be heard.

I believe there are many writings that need to escape that heart, that mind, that diary, that journal, that closet, that cave, that Tumblr, that Facebook note.

Most of all, I believe in passing along chances to one and another. I will not be who I am today if it was not for the people who generously granted me the opportunities they thought I deserved.

Well, these contributors slash writers we have here in CQ? Fikri and I think they deserve it. We think their writings matter.

Remember the bedtime stories your father told you when you were a kid?

Remember how some lines from a movie made you cry? How some lyrics were like time-traveling machine, bringing you back to that very scene, that very spot in the past? How a certain verse in a poem stabbed right through you? That is why writing needs to happen. To inspire, to trigger, to reflect. Which actually reminds me of what Anais Nin said: "We write to taste life twice; in the moment and in retrospect."

To taste life twice. Seriously. Is that genius or what?

WANI ARDY EDITOR IN CHIEF

CQ Magazine is a student-powered independent e-publication published on a quarterly basis. It aims to provide a space for creative explorations, while adhering to a high standard of professional writing and journalism.

Design inspired by Swedish Film magazine.

Licensed under Creative Commons.

Editorial Board EDITORS IN CHIEF FIKRI JERMADI WANI ARDY

SUB EDITORS DEANNA ISHAK FARA AISYAH KIMI ISMAWI SITI NOORAIN

CONTRIBUTORS ABAH ASIA AFIRUL AKMAL ALEENA ISA ANI AZIZ ZAKARIA ARAF AZIZ DEANNA ISHAK EQHA ANWAR EYM RHAIM FADHLI ROZAINOOR HAZREEN SHAZA KAMALIA RAMLAN MARIA ADIBAH AZMI TINA YUSOF ZAIDAH Z ZULAIKHA SABRI

LAYOUT ADI ISKANDAR

FRONT COVER Thoughtful Pen by coolie / fanpop.com

Get in touch with us online:

@WritingFiTA #cq

writing.fita@gmail.com

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CONTENTS!

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*SAX / FLICKR!

05 CHRIS GIN / WIKIPEDIA!

28 HARTWIG HKD / FLICKR!

32

51

46 JOVAN CORMAC / WIKIPEDIA!

BLOODDRUNK DYLAN / DEVIANT ART!

3 AKU BUKAN MALAIKAT MARIA ADIBAH AZMI! 4 DILEMA TEATER: KEUTAMAAN PADA NARATIF ATAU KARAKTER ANI AZIZ ZAKARIA! 8 MAKE IT OBVIOUS EYM RHAIM! 9 KERIS TUMPUL AFIRUL AKMAL! !

10 RIDING HIGH, RIDING LOW DEA ISHAK! 15 PECAHAN DUA ZULAIKHA SABRI! 18 CUTTING TO THE CHASE TINA YUSOF! !

22 WE HAVE ALL AND NOTHING MARIA ADIBAH AZMI! 23 SAJAK AWAN-AWAN ANI AZIZ ZAKARIA! 24 STEP BY STEP FADHLI ROZAINOOR! 27 HAK DAN KEDAMAIAN ABAH ASIA! 28 MATAHARI, BULAN DAN PUNGGUK KAMALIA RAMLAN! !

30 AWEK INSOMNIA ALEENA ISA! 31 SUNYI DALAM KETENANGAN ABAH ASIA! 32 BLINK ZAIDAH Z! 34 A ZINE THING GELANGGANG FILEM! 37 NEGATIVE MUCH HAZREEN SHAZA! 39 READ WELL, LIVE WELL MARIA ADIBAH AZMI! !

40 PENGEMBARAAN KE BILIK TENGAH KEPUNYAAN MAISARAH KAMALIA RAMLAN! 44 KISAH BAWANG ARAF AZIZ! 46 MY DEAR LESLIE EYM RHAIM! 49 USAH CARI, AKU DI SINI EQHA ANWAR! !

50 BFF ALEENA ISA! 51 BREAK MY STRINGS EYM RHAIM! 54 KU INGIN BERJUANG ANI AZIZ ZAKARIA! ! !

POEM AKU BUKAN MALAIKAT

Aku bukan malaikat, sayang.

Memenuhi setiap kehendak kamu.

Yang memerlukan aku bergulir setia.

Dalam ruang masa kita seharian.

Temani kamu.

Aku bukan malaikat, sayang.

Sepanjang tidurmu aku selimutkan.

Bayu malam bertabirkan rindu.

Angin manja cuba aku hembuskan.

Ke ubunmu.

Aku bukan malaikat, sayang.

Mana bisa aku redah lautan.

Mana mungkin aku daki banjaran.

Cuma satu yang mampu aku lakukan.

Pinjamkan tanganmu untuk aku pimpinkan.

Aku bukan malaikat, sayang.

Kau teriak satu-dua-tiga aku terus datang.

Kau pandang siang-malam aku ada di depan.

Kalau esok kemarau datang, Aku tegukkan air mata berlinang.

Kalau esok salji turun, Aku peluk dan dakap perlahan.

Dan bagaimana; Kalau esok aku perlu terbang?

Aku harus pulangkan tangan kamu semula.

Aku tidak boleh selamanya di sisi kamu.

Kan aku sudah bilang;

Aku bukan malaikat, sayang.

Dan kau masih boleh ceritakan pada awanawan yang masih setia.

Shah Alam Mei 2014.

Aku Bukan Malaikat TEXT: MARIA ADIBAH AZMI IMAGE: JON SULLIVAN / PD PHOTO!

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Dilema " Teater: Keutamaan " J Pada " Naratif " atau " Karakter?

ika ditanyakan, di dalam

Ani Aziz Zakaria mengolah kembali pemikiran mengenai naratif dan karakter dalam kajian dan persembahan teater di Fakulti Filem, Teater dan Animasi (FiTA), Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM)

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sesebuah persembahan teater, manakah yang lebih utama di antara naratif atau karakter? Apakah naratif lahir dari penciptaan karakter, atau karakter diwujudkan demi memenuhi tuntutan naratif?

Bolehkah sesebuah naratif wujud tanpa karakter atau mempunyai karakter tanpa alur naratif? Kedua-dua ini adalah komponen terpenting di dalam sesebuah teater. Apa yang disebut Jerzy Grotowski, pendiri mazhab teater miskin? Set, lighting, make-up dan props baginya hanyalah sampingan yang membantu sesebuah persembahan. Itu tidak perlu dititikberatkan, apa yang paling penting dan utama adalah karakter.

Bahkan Grotowski menganggap, bahawa naskhah itu tidak penting sama sekali.

Pendapat ini juga disokong oleh Asrul Sani, penggiat teater Indonesia. Baginya, aktor adalah segala-galanya di dalam dunia teater,

IMAGE: SAYAMINDU DASGUPTA / FLICKR!

FEATURE NARATIF ATAU KARAKTER TEATER

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IMAGE: KENT G. BECKER / NOT MY DAYJOB PHOTOGRAPHY / FLICKR!

KEBANYAKKAN NASKHAH TELAH MATI SEMASA PERSEMBAHAN, DAN INI MENURUT SAYA ADALAH KERANA TAHAP LAKONAN YANG TIDAK MAMPU MENGANGKAT NASKHAH ITU PERGI LEBIH JAUH

FEATURE NARATIF ATAU KARAKTER TEATER yang membezakan dengan dunia filem.

Katanya lagi, teater yang berlaku sekarang, aktor tidak lagi berperanan kerana yang berfungsi adalah sutradara.

Pusat teater kita masih ketandusan karakter yang boleh dianggap sebagai ikon. Seingat saya, kita masih tidak mempunyai sebuah karakter yang disebut-sebut, diingati bahkan dikaji, apabila sesudah sesebuah persembahan.

Kebanyakkan naskhah telah mati semasa persembahan, dan ini menurut saya adalah kerana tahap lakonan yang tidak mampu mengangkat naskhah itu pergi lebih jauh.

Inilah perkara fundamental yang paling dirunsingkan dalam teater, tetapi kerap dilupakan oleh kebanyakkan pelajarpelajar yang terlibat dengan teater di sini, iaitu ‘watak yang tidak mempunyai perwatakan’.

Mengapakah masalah gejala asas teater kerap berlaku di sebuah fakulti teater? Sebuah pusat yang membahaskan dan mempraktikkan ilmu lakonan. Apakah rahsia-rahsia di dalam teater, yang aktor di sini masih tidak ketemui?

Jika di dalam kehidupan realiti, ‘watak yang tidak mempunyai perwatakkan’ diumpamakan manusia yang tidak berjiwa, yang kehidupannya hanya memenuhi tuntutan arus kehidupan. Apa yang difikirkan hanyalah menyelesaikan hari demi harinya, tanpa memikirkan apakah tujuan kehidupannya sendiri.

Sebuah proses pengulangan sehinggalah ia mati.

Saya tidak akan menyentuh tentang kandungan sesebuah naskhah, itu boleh dibincangkan di dalam siri artikel lain. Naratif adalah jalan sesebuah cerita, ia adalah dunia atau rumah kepada karakter.

Walau seteruk mana dunia yang didiaminya, itu terpulang kepada kewujudan naskhah itu sendiri. Dunia realiti juga kita akan mendapati, ramai yang mengalami kehidupan yang teruk, buruk, menyayatkan. Itu tiada masalah.

Tetapi karakter perlu hidup dan berkesan, bahkan saya boleh mengatakan ia wajib ‘hidup’ untuk sesebuah persembahan. Tidak akan pernah ada seorang manusia di dunia ini yang wujud tetapi tidak mempunyai identiti atau karakter mereka tersendiri. Ini saya jamin.

Kadangkala, saya keliru dan akhirnya, saya membuat keputusan bahawa keutamaan karakter yang perlu menjadi prioriti berbanding jalan cerita itu sendiri. Bukankah seseorang manusia itu dilahirkan dahulu sebagai bayi, sebelum ia

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mempunyai jalan kehidupannya (naratif) sendiri? Atas hujah inilah saya membuat keputusan bahawa, seorang pengkarya perlu melahirkan karakter terlebih dahulu berbanding susunan cerita. Oh, ini bukanlah suatu bentuk pemaksaan idea pada karyawan, ini hanyalah sebuah gagasan saya sahaja. Menerima atau menolak akhirnya berbalik pada diri anda sendiri.

METODE ‘MENGKARAKTERKAN’ KARAKTER Ini adalah kaedah saranan melalui pemerhatian saya dalam beberapa penglibatan secara kecil-kecilan di dalam dunia pementasan di sini, dan mungkin saya masih belum mempunyai pengalaman yang secukupnya di dalam bidang ini, tetapi tidak semestinya saya tidak boleh mempunyai pendapat tentangnya. Semua orang boleh berpendapat, dan semua pelajar di sini khususnya boleh memulakan menerbit idea mereka secara kritis.

Saya turunkan beberapa cadangan yang mungkin mempunyai manfaat:

• Lahirkan watak terlebih dahulu. Apaapa sekalipun watak dahulu, bukan jalan cerita atau sinopsis. Barangkali, sinopsis hanya sesuai ditulis bila naskhah itu sudah selesai, dan karakter kita sudah menyelesaikan katarsisnya sendiri. Ini yang utama. Apabila watak dan perwatakkan sudah lahir, secara automatik ia akan mempunyai jalan ceritanya.

•

•

Elakkan diri dari menjadi ‘tuhan mutlak’ kepada karakter yang diwujudkan. Bina watak tersebut tanpa mempengaruhinya dalam apa-apa keputusan yang mahu dilakukannya.

Biarkan ia bebas menentukan takdirnya. Watak di dalam naskhah juga seperti manusia di dalam dunia nyata, tidak mahu dikongkong. Cuba bayangkan segala aksi dan reaksi kita sudah diaturkan pada kita sepenuhnya oleh Tuhan, adakah kita masih layak menjadi khalifah dan menguruskan dunia (naratif) ini? Jadi persoalan ini sudah membayangkan akan ketiadaan tragedi/konflik/dilema di dalam naskhah tersebut kerana diuruskan orang-orang yang tidak berperasaan.

Tidak menambah-nambah watak semata-mata nafsu tukang cerita tersebut. Adakah kita suka apabila kita sendiri ditentukan dengan siapa kita patut berkawan, dengan siapa kita patut keluar bertemujanji di kompleks, atau kita dikhianati oleh siapa.

Barangkali itulah kehendak karakter yang dilahirkan kita, yang mahu bebas

APABILA KARAKTER SUDAH TERBANGUN, MAKA PENGKARYA SEBENARNYA SUDAHPUN BOLEH MENCUCI TANGAN MEREKA

FEATURE NARATIF ATAU KARAKTER TEATER

sahaja yang berkaitan dengannya, tanpa tujuan jelas hanya akan merosakkan mood karakter. Biarkan penonton mengalami pengalaman mereka sendiri dan menentukan, sama ada dialog-dialog yang dituturkan mempunyai maksud tersirat atau tidak.

KAITAN NARATIF DAN KARAKTER Apabila karakter sudah terbangun, sudah diberanakkan, membesar dan mempunyai keterampilannya sendiri, maka pengkarya sebenarnya sudahpun boleh mencuci tangan mereka. Apa yang mereka perlu lakukan, hanya bertindak sebagai panduan supaya sesebuah karakter itu tidak tersasar dari kehendak asal karakter tersebut. Kaedah ini sebenarnya lebih memudahkan kepada pengkarya, berbanding memilih jalan yang telah sedia ada, iaitu mewujudkan naratif dahulu.

Pengkarya tidak perlu lagi mengerahkan fikirannya untuk membuang atau menambah sifat-sifat karakter agar

bersesuaian dengan kehendak naratif.

Walau apa pun kaedah yang digunakan, sama ada memikirkan jalan cerita terlebih dahulu, atau karakter yang memilih jalan ceritanya, naskhah tetap juga selesai bila diusahakan dan dipersembahkan di khalayak. Itu tidak dinafikan. Akan tetapi, sesuatu perlu dilakukan apabila sesebuah persembahan teater tidak mencapai sasaran dan ini adalah sebuah usaha kecil saya yang cuba mengubah sudut pandang di dalam penghasilan sesebuah karya, dan cadangan-cadangan saya ini juga adalah sebuah alternatif lain kepada pengkarya untuk memantapkan lagi sesebuah naskhah.

Akhir sekali, kita harus menanyakan kembali, untuk tujuan apakah kita melahirkan naskhah, sama ada untuk kepuasan penonton atau watak-watak terbitan kita itu sendiri?

STERNBERG FAMILY COLLECTION!

dengan jalan perjuangannya sendiri.

Berikan ia nafas, pilihan fikiran, dan nafsu.

Jika tidak, anda tidak boleh sesuka hati melahirkan ia ke dalam dunia naratif anda.

Benarkan ia memilih kawannya sendiri, masyarakatnya sendiri dan hiduplah mereka bersama-sama kerana pilihannya itu, bukan kerana kehendak sutradara.

• Tidak terburu-buru untuk memasukkan metafora atau subtext di dalam dialog karakter. Kadangkala ada suatu pemikiran yang beranggapan subtext adalah sesuatu yang membuatkan karya tersebut kelihatan intelektual, dan kelihatan bergaya. Seolah-olah semakin rumit sesebuah dialog, maka semakin berkualiti naskhah tersebut. Itu silap.

Logiknya, percakapan seseorang manusia tidaklah mengandungi subtext sepanjang masa, melainkan ada situasi-situasi yang mengkehendakinya sebegitu. Jadi perbuatan dengan sengaja mengada-adakan metafora, subtlety atau mise en scene atau apa

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POEM MAKE IT OBVIOUS

I am hardly romantic; I'm never good at talking sweet; Flattering words are rather cheap, When you don't mean those on your lips.

I don't know when is the right time, To express what's in my mind; I doubt that they'll work just fine, Shallow sentences called pickup lines.

I don't really know what gift, That I can purchase and give; What you'll be happy to receive?

Does it have to be expensive?

Should I sing a serenade?

Singing words mostly left unsaid?

When playing guitar I'm not good at; Will that help me get into your head?

I guess the only thing I can do, Is make it obvious to you, That you're always on my mind, That I would like to make you mine.

I guess the one thing I can do, Is make it clear to you, That I'm happy about your presence; That I can't stand us being distanced.

Make It Obvious TEXT: EYM RHAIM IMAGE: *SAX / FLICKR!

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POEM KERIS TUMPUL

KERIS TUMPUL TEXT: AFIRUL AKMAL IMAGE: CRISCO 1492 / WIKIPEDIA!

Berdiri teguh jasad ke jasad, Membuka langkah mencari arah Jangankan bermadah berhujah nanti diludah Saat kakinya mengorak langkah Terpangkah!

Bunga diukir tiada masa berfikir.

Kekuda dikukuh tiada masa mengeluh.

Pertarungkan nyawa itu ilmu bukan harta itu masa bukan cinta itu agama bukan siapa-siapa, bukan sia-sia tapi satu rasa.

Ya, rasa yang telah lama membusuk dalam hati laksana bangkai babi berkurun lamanya Terjerat, Terikat, Tertambat, Tersumbat, dalam lubang yang kau gali.

Tertambat aku tanpa tali.

Persiapkan kerismu. Asahlah dengan ilmu dan ikhlas.

Perhaluskan gerak tari silatmu. Tarikanlah bersama melodi hormat dan berani.

Jangankan belakangmu sudah tertikam, Dalam, Keris tajam, Terbenam, Oleh si pendendam…

Barulah kau ingin meraba kerismu yang tumpul.

Saat itu, Si kucing hutan mengeong syahdu, Kelicap madu mendecip pilu.

Meratap kematian si bodoh!!!

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…Riding Low The making of Velo was the culmination of a longheld dream. Deanna Ishak recounts the journey S W EDIS H FILM • IS SUE 2 2014 10 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

19

MAGE: JAMIE WILLIAMS / FLICKR!

Riding High…

DEA ISHAK!

FEATURE CRISS CROSS FILM

I

remember coming up with the idea for

Velo - it was for one of the screenwriting classes we had back when I was doing my diploma in Creative Writing at the Faculty of Film, Theatre and Animation (FiTA), Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM).

Our screenwriting lecturer had asked us each to come up with a pitch and treatment for a short film script. I didn’t get my idea right there and then; I wasn’t that creative of a person. I was, however, the sort of person who was able to write from experiences, and that was how Velo came to be.

I grew up along the shores of the East Coast, where amongst everything else, cycling was a major sport there.

Many of Malaysia’s best cyclists were from there, like Azizulhasni Awang, Anuar Manan and Adiq Husaini Othman. My father was a cyclist as well, and so was my brother.

When I was 12 my father bought me a Cannondale, but I wouldn’t exactly qualify to call myself a cyclist.

Nevertheless, I guess it made sense that I wanted to tell a story about cyclists - I had been surrounded by them almost my whole life!

The story was a simple one, about an underprivileged boy who had a deep passion and aspiration to become a

cyclist but was ridiculed and humiliated by his school teacher for his poor achievements in academic terms. I was inspired by the young cyclists I often meet who trained alongside my father. They were always slightly naughty, as naughty as boys could be, but cheerful and well mannered enough. Most of them were underprivileged, and weren’t too bright in school, but they were very committed to cycling.

I had always admired their passion, and I guess that was what made me want to tell their stories. In this materialistic world, passion can easily be toyed around, and you would be worthless without a piece of paper to back you up and say that one day you will be somebody

Despite their contributions, I could always see these boys being scorn off by ‘authority figures’ who think they shouldn’t be doing what they do best. This wasn’t just the case with cyclists, of course. I felt like many of the likes of us would understand, we’re in the field of arts and our passions were not exactly ‘celebrated’ either.

So I wrote the script, where I initially named it The Rider and passed it on to my lecturer. I didn’t think I would come back for it until I was a famous person with tonnes of money to film it and its scenes in Australia (a girl could dream, no?). Writing was easy when you didn’t have any sort of limitations.

I never would have thought that I would bring it up again not five years from

I WAS THE SORT OF PERSON WHO WAS ABLE TO WRITE FROM EXPERIENCE. THAT WAS HOW VELO CAME TO BE

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IMAGE: AIRMAN NATHAN DOZA / US AIR FORCE!

VELO WAS FAR FROM PERFECT, BUT I HAD SET OUT WITH A STORY TO TELL AND I TOLD IT

FEATURE CRISS CROSS FILM

FACTS: VELO! Writer/Director: Deanna Ishak Producer: Abdul Muiz Mior Ahmad Producer: Natasha Najwa Starring: Ong Chin Seng, Gan Chung Ming, Nikki Lukman Running Time: 6 minutes Year: 2014!

then, and was going to film it for my Directing 1 class. It seemed rather exhilarating at the moment, deciding whether or not I should go with the script. Insecure thoughts started to cloud up my mind: how was I supposed to film a cycling tournament? Where am I going to get all these cyclists? How much was I even willing to expose a script I was passionate for to people who might not even understand it? I consulted the lecturer in charge of script consultations for the Criss Cross project and somehow I was convinced to just go ahead and pitch this story I had renamed Velo.

I suppose when you prepare a detailed prescription of your script, even as early on as in the treatment, the people reading it would have a better understanding of it. At least, that was what I tried to do.

My previous Creative Writing classes had trained me to create truth in the reality of the story, and that required as much background story as possible. This way, I managed to believe to in my story, and I’d like to think that somewhere along the line, I managed to convince the professor of it too - or at least, enough.

There were, of course, several bumps on the road in terms of the development of the script, whereby I was required to make a few adjustments here and there.

Thankfully, none of the suggested changes interfered with the whole plot and flow of my script. I managed to allocate some suggestions I deemed suitable to fit into the story, which quite frankly made it much better.

Through this process, I learnt to accept comments and criticism with a more open mind, which was crucial in the preproduction stage, for I believed that the process of developing a script is the most significant part in filmmaking.

Matters got more complicated once we had gone more visual and physical, but somehow my whole team worked it through amazingly. We managed to cast a boy from a semester below us who looked athletic enough to become a cyclist (and later on proved that he was a really good cyclist too!), asked one

retired lecturer of the faculty to play the mean old teacher, borrowed my father’s Cervelo and a bunch of cycling gear from some of the students in the Sports and Recreation faculty, gathered a bunch of students from the faculty itself to play extras in the classroom scene and asked my father to bring down his cycling team to shoot for the tournament.

If there was anything to be said, it is as that I had a really awesome team that helped me move Velo and put it into motion. The only major setback that we had all throughout the production was that we did not have enough time, especially with so much rain going on.

Nonetheless, the whole process and experience of developing the script onto the screen had been priceless - at some point, we were even terrorised by a crazy monkey during production!

Having gone through all that, witnessing your idea grow from scratch into a script and seeing it develop into a film must have been one of my greatest joys on Earth. It was like giving birth to your own child and watching it grow to become something that might just end up touching somebody else’s lives. I was proud and content.

Velo wasn’t perfect. It was far from perfection, but I had set out with a story to tell and I told it. It was never about marks or grades or pleasing anybody. It was just about a story that I was passionate about telling, because I understood how it felt to be that boy with so high of an ambition, yet was deemed so worthless by the ones who should have known better than to push him down to the ground.

My only wish was to reach out to those who have felt this torment and give a beacon of hope that we can rise back up, get back on that bicycle and keep riding into our destination, the way that boy, Azraq, did.

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SHORT STORY PECAHAN DUA

Pecahan Dua TEXT: ZULAIKHA SABRI IMAGE: THEILR / FLICKR!

Sari mengundur ke belakang sedikit tetapi masih dalam langkah berjaga-jaga bersama Hafiz di sebelahnya, mereka tidak menyangka akan datang sekumpulan orang yang tidak dikenali menghalang laluan mereka yang dalam perjalanan untuk mengekori orang yang disuruh pelanggan mereka.

"Aku rasa dia orang ni orang Mark lah.

Sedia Sari," bisik Hafiz yang berada dibelakang Sari. Sari hanya mengangguk tetapi matanya tidak lepas dari memandang sekumpulan lelaki berpakaian hitam. Tiba-tiba seorang lelaki keluar dari kumpulan lelaki berbaju hitam itu. Sari yang pada mulanya pelik terus kembali berdiri tegak dan tersenyum. Hafiz hanya memandang Sari dan memahami bahawa lelaki tersebut merupakan seseorang yang Sari kenal.

"Maaflah, kalau orang-orang aku kacau korang nak buat kerja. Tapi tak ada cara lain lagi yang aku boleh buat kalau aku nak jumpa adik kembar aku ni...” Shah memandang Sari dan senyum. Sari membalas senyuman lalu mereka berpelukan.

"Haih...Shah...kau dari dulu sampai sekarang tak berubahkan? Suka nak bergurau kasar dengan aku. Nasib baik aku dah lama tak jumpa kau, kalau tidak memang kau kena dah dengan aku." Sari mengeluh, rasa kecewanya kerana kehilangan jejaka lelaki yang sedang mereka ekori masih tidak dapat disembunyikan.

"Aku tau kau susah nak ada masa untuk berbual kosong dengan aku macam ni, sebab tu aku terpaksa buat macam ni

kembarku...sorry lah," Shah memegang bahu Sari, lalu cuba menumbuk Sari. Sari dengan pantas menepis tangan Shah dan memegang tangan Shah lalu dipusingkannya ke belakang. Hafiz terkejut lalu dengan cepat berlari ke arah Sari untuk membantu tetapi diberi isyarat oleh Sari untuk tidak masuk campur. Sari kemudiannya melepaskan tangan Shah dan berjalan ke belakang menjauhi Shah.

"Wah. Pergerakan kau makin pantas!

Patutlah kau jadi pekerja kesayangan Ray. Kalau tidak mesti kau dah kena berambus macam aku kan?" Shah berjalan perlahan untuk cuba menghampiri Sari tetapi Sari makin menjauhkan diri apabila terpandang tatu yang berada di lengan Shah.

"Kau kerja dengan Mark kan Shah?!" kata Sari dengan perasaan yang marah dan kesal. Hafiz yang hanya memerhati pasangan kembar itu terkejut dan terus menghampiri Sari. Shah tersenyum sinis.

"Aku terpaksa... Ray yang buang aku. Jadi aku kena cari sesuatu untuk meneruskan hidup. Lagipun kalau aku masih bekerja dengan Ray, sampai bila-bila pun aku tetap di bawah kau. Aku tahu pangkat aku tidak akan pernah naik disebabkan kau! Aku tak nak jadi kuli kau selama-lamanya, cukuplah papa dan mama lebih pentingkan kau daripada aku..." Shah memandang Sari dengan senyuman sinis, tiada langsung riak muka kesal di wajahnya.

"Tapi kenapa Mark? Kau tahukan apa aktiviti sebenar dia di sebalik agensi penyiasatan tu?" Shah hanya mengangkat bahu dan tersenyum tanpa membalas pertanyaan Sari. "Aku cuba nak bagi amaran pada kau atau lebih tepat lagi pada

Ray..." Shah memandang tepat pada Sari.

Sari dan Hafiz hanya diam tetapi masih dalam keadaan berjaga-jaga dan pandangan Hafiz tidak lepas dari memerhatikan setiap tingkah laku orangorang Shah. Shah kemudiannya mengeluh.

"Cakap pada dia, jangan lagi masuk campur dalam segala urusan syarikat kami kalau dia nak hidup lama lagi!" Shah mengangkat tangan memberi isyarat kepada pengikutnya untuk beredar. Sari melihat Shah beredar dengan perasaan berbelah bagi.

"Shah..." kata Hafiz sepatah seperti mengingati sesuatu.

Hafiz masuk dan ke dalam bilik Sari dengan keadaan tergesa-gesa dan masih terkejut dengan maklumat yang baru dia dapat. Sari yang sedari tadi hanya memandang ke luar tingkap, terus memandang ke arah Hafiz.

"Apa maklumat yang kau dapat?"

"Shah atau lebih dikenali sebagai Zen dah dua bulan kerja dengan Mark dan dia antara orang kanan Mark sekarang, orang kita yang menyamar dalam kumpulan Mark bagitahu aku yang dia sebenarnya dah maklumkan pada kau sebelum ni." Hafiz memandang Sari. Sari mengeluh.

SARI MELIHAT SHAH BEREDAR DENGAN PERASAAN BERBELAH BAGI

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SHORT STORY PECAHAN DUA "Memang ada, maaflah aku terlepas pandang. Aku betul-betul tak sangka, Zen yang dimaksudkan ialah Shah Zender Alam, kembar aku!" Sari menggenggam tangan, geram dengan berita yang baru didengarnya. Dia sendiri tidak pasti kenapa dia tidak perasan identiti Zen sebelum ini sedangkan Zen adalah orang yang rapat dengannya sejak dari dalam rahim lagi.

Hafiz memandang Sari, bersimpati tetapi dia sendiri tidak boleh melakukan apa-apa memandangkan Zen dan Mark adalah antara orang kuat sindiket yang sedang mereka buru.

"Habis macam mana Sari?" Hafiz memandang tepat ke arah Sari. Sari memandang ke luar tingkap.

"Teruskan sahaja penyamaran dan siasatan," balas Sari perlahan. Hafiz seperti teringat sesuatu.

"Maksudnya Shah tahulah yang kau..." kata Hafiz, takut kerana memikirkan kemungkinan penyamaran mereka diketahui oleh pihak musuh.

"Tak...kali terakhir kami berhubung, dia hanya mengetahui aku adalah pekerja Agensi penyiasatan Ray sebelum dia menghilang dan aku mengambil keputusan untuk masuk Akademi Polis.”

Sari bersiap sedia dengan memakai pakaian serba hitam dan sesuai untuk operasi gempur yang akan dijalankan bersama pihak polis hari ini kerana satu pertemuan besar antaranya dan Shah Zender Alam kembarnya akan berlangsung. Sari menarik nafas, memujuk hati bahawa dia hanya melakukannya kerana tugas dan menolak ke tepi perasan kasih terhadap kembarnya sendiri kerana baginya, yang salah tetap salah. Sari kemudian keluar dari bilik, disambut oleh Hafiz.

"Semuanya sudah bersedia, dan aktiviti mereka mengikut segala yang dirancangkan," kata Hafiz. Sari hanya mengangguk.

Sari dan Shah saling mengacukan pistol ke arah berlawanan dengan tiada langsung perasaan teragak-agak.

"Inspektor Sari Zuhayra Alam! Kenapa baru hari ini aku tahu identiti kau Sari?" Shah ketawa. Sari hanya tersenyum sinis.

"Kau menghilang selama lapan tahun Shah, kemudian kembali dengan menjadi orang kanan Zack! Bukan salah aku kalau kau tak tahu...” Sari mengangkat kening, senyumannya masih tidak lekang dari wajahnya untuk menyembunyikan rasa hati yang gusar dan sedih.

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"Aku rindu nak berlawan dengan kau Sari..." kata Shah yang kemudiannya semandang pistol yang dipegang oleh Sari.

Shah mengangkat tangan dan memandang Sari sambil mencampakkan pistol ke tepi.

Tangan Sari yang mengacukan pistol ke arah Shah masih tidak bergerak, teragakagak untuk membuat keputusan. Beberapa saat kemudian, Sari mencampakkan pistol ke tepi, Hafiz yang sedari tadi hanya memerhati terkejut lalu menjerit.

"Sari!" Sari memandang ke tepi ke arah Hafiz lalu mengangguk memberi isyarat.

Shah senyum memandang Sari yang kemudiannya bersedia untuk menyerang.

Shah kemudiannya menendang ke arah pinggang Sari tetapi dapat dielak Sari dengan pantas lalu Sari cuba menumbuk Shah tetapi dapat dielak oleh Shah. Hafiz yang bersiap sedia setelah diberi isyarat oleh Sari kemudian menekan butang merah kecil dari dalam poketnya untuk memberi isyarat kepada pasukan polis yang sudah bersedia di luar untuk memberi bantuan. Perlawanan antara Sari dan Shah masih lagi berlangsung di hadapannya, menandakan Shah masih tidak perasan akan keberadaan polis dalam perjumpaan kali ini.

"Teknik kau sudah bertambah baik Sari, tak sia-sia tali pinggang hitam yang kau dapat sebelum aku dulu," kata Shah sambil menunduk dan termengah-mengah menarik nafas akibat ditendang Sari. Sari hanya memandang Shah dan tergelak kecil.

"Kau pun apa kurangnya, kalau macam ni la kau berlawan, mungkin kita boleh samasama dapat tali pinggang hitam dulu," Sari memandang ke atas sekilas, tingkat atas gudang tempat mereka berlawan sekarang penuh dengan pihak polis yang memakai pakaian serba hitam dan kesemuanya sedang mengacukan pistol ke arah Shah.

Sari kemudian memandang Shah yang masih keletihan.

"Maafkan aku Shah, kau ditahan atas kes rompakan bersenjata, pengedaran dadah, dan pemerdagangan manusia!"

Dua orang pegawai polis datang dan menggari Shah. Shah memandang Sari tajam.

"Sampai hati kau Sari! Aku kembar kau!" jerit Shah yang masih terkejut dengan keberadaan polis. Sari hanya tersenyum sinis lalu mula beredar dari situ. Hafiz tibatiba muncul entah dari mana, memanggil Sari.

"ASP Kamil maklumkan pada aku tadi, Mark dah tak ada di markas mereka.

Tempat tu kosong..." kata Hafiz, Sari terdiam kaku ditempatnya.

Petter Lindblad has been selected by the Swedish Film Institute as Sweden’s representative in the European Film Promotion (EFP) programme Producers on the Move at this year’s Cannes festival.

S W EDIS H FILM • IS SUE 2 2014 PAGE NO | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

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FEATURE CRISS CROSS FILM

Cutting to the Chase One student recounts her experience making a Criss Cross film at the Faculty of Film, Theatre and Animation (FiTA), Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM) TEXT: TINA YUSOF IMAGE: INJEONGWON / WIKIPEDIA!

H

ow do I begin telling about my

experiences in making it through the Criss Cross projects? The semester was an absolute hell for me and I’m sure it’s the same for any Screen Arts degree students in their third semester. I can’t say much about students from other programmes, though. Anyway, think of this as a headsup for all you eager soon-to-be directors: turn back while you can!

Of course, I kid. In all seriousness, I feel that this is a great opportunity for me to share what I went through. First of all, alhamdulillah I was to be able to study in the Screen Arts programme. As you may or may not know, the Criss Cross project is a collaborative course effort by the students in the Faculty of Film, Theatre and Animation (FiTA), Universiti Teknologi MARA. Students from the faculty work together under various course requirements to produce a short film. For the course of Directing 1, I was required to pitch ideas to be produced as a short film.

I think this article would turn out more of a really long advice column rather than me just telling you what my experiences were.

I wasn’t entirely sure whether my lecturer was keen on the first round of pitches or he just wasn’t about to waste time on trying to wait out all the “really good or better” ones when he started throwing around Keep In View (KIV) notes to almost everyone, before accepting almost all the KIVs including mine. Bloody hell. It didn’t hit me yet, that I was about to write and direct a short film. However,

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when two of my closest friends in the class were also chosen as directors, that was when it hit me. This is it. My friends would be too busy with their pieces to help me with mine. This might be a glimpse of ‘the real world’.

One thing that is gravely important is that you choose your production team wisely. It really does pay to recruit the best people you can not only trust but are comfortable working with. If you know that one chick (or dude, you know) that isn’t afraid to get tough for the job you take her in. You see potential, there’s no harm in pulling them into your team regardless if you know personally them or not. I believe a good director must also be a good team leader. One does one’s best to bring the best out of his or her team, because there might be a chance that you might not get whom you really want in your team. You get these random people you aren’t sure you can work with, but that’s OK. Step up and give them a chance.

I was grouped with random people.

Most of whom I didn’t know, or met for the first time due to this project. I was afraid some of my groupmates wouldn’t do their job up to my standards or worse, I was not working to their standard. Most of us were first timers at handling a full production. It was so stressful sometimes because when I was clueless about something, so were my groupmates. Believe it or not, as much as you say you can do things on your own, that you can get absolutely everything done on your own because it’s much quicker when you choose not to deal with incompetence, you’re wrong. You could always do with some extra hands.

After the production team is formed, I got to working at my treatment and my scripts. My story Potong is personal in a sense because it was inspired and based on my experiences in high school, but it’s not a true story. I kept the scriptwork quite close to myself because I felt that if I had to show it to my groupmates they would already know what my objectives were. I mostly consulted with my friends who were also directors and my former scriptwriting lecturer. Being a creative person, it’s very important that you have a group of very honest and knowledgeable people to show your work. It’s a way to test the waters, especially when your story has comedy, horror, thrills and/or are supposed to make your audience cry. You have to allow these people to tell you if your work is no good.

Like myself, I prefer to work alone, but I often consult friends and lecturers on my work. “Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.” 10 points if you can guess where that’s from.

Working for Criss Cross, you have to understand that sometimes when you might be doing jobs that aren’t in your department. If you end up like me, a director, do not be so hopeful that you will only be catering to the creative department. It was a problem for me at first, I was constantly complaining and arguing in preproduction, “This is not my job!” I was involved in almost everything.

Since my production would also be set in a school, getting clearance to shoot at the school was a lot of hassle. All that hassle tied up with my creative work was giving me a lot of unnecessary stress.Well, that’s what you get in this field.

Being a creative person, it’s very important that you have a group of very honest and knowledgeable people to show your work #1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 19

FEATURE CRISS CROSS FILM

Shooting went on for three days. It wasn’t the best weekend I had 20 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

FEATURE CRISS CROSS FILM

I had to pujuk myself into understanding that this is a group effort; if you have to do more than one job, you do it. If some of the people in your group cannot give you what you want, you’ll have to do it yourself or sit down with your groupmates and let them know specifically what needs to be done. Sometimes all they need is a little push. Basically, if you’re planning on shooting at a school, you need at least a solid two months preparation in pre-production, I tell you. The levels upon levels of departments that you have to send letters to…I don’t think I can do it again.

Finance was also an issue. We were students with barely enough pocket money, and we couldn’t find any cash sponsors. Luckily enough, my producers and managers managed to get our catering fully sponsored. If you have trouble with the budget, the least you could get sponsored was food. It is very important that your crew and talents do not starve.

Shooting went on for three days.

It wasn’t the best weekend I had. Always be prepared for unpredictable Malaysian weather. Sunscreen, umbrellas, and a good pair of running shoes will do you a great

favour of making the day bearable. One of the biggest issues I had was shooting at the school…and the extras for the field in the first scene did not show up. None of them showed up. I panicked. Fortunately, there was a basketball team practice at the court and we got to quickly do David’s cheer scene. However, after taking some time to think while the cast and crew had their breakfast, I decided to do the first scene anyway. The extras had no real effect to the story.

And it worked. I think one of the things I was most grateful for was my cast.

I had such an amazing group of kids to work with, Ong Chin Seng, Gan Chung Ming and Nikki Lukman. It was a plus that they were already theatre students for the school’s drama team, but I honestly think

We were students with barely enough pocket money, and we couldn’t find any cash sponsors

they were absolute naturals. They were very down to earth and so easy to work with. Chin Seng, who played Kenneth, was the best. Some days he would have to shoot for very long hours and he would not complain a bit. I was always apologising to him because it was their exam week and I didn’t want him to get sick. He was very cooperative and I thank him so much for that. I also had an incredibly hardworking and creative crew throughout the shoot.

Criss Cross was a really great way to try and get familiar with how a production works. It helps you understand what the stakes are, how to please your executive producers and how to get around to try and tell a story. It sounds cliché, but always try to be positive even when things go wrong. My experience in Criss Cross showed me that I can never have exactly what I want, to work with what I’ve got and never to expect anything to be perfect because nothing ever is perfect. #

FACTS: POTONG! Writer/Director: Tina Yusof Producer: Natasha Najwa!

Starring: Ong Chin Seng, Gan Chung Ming, Nikki Lukman Running Time: 9:13 Year: 2014!

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POEM WE HAVE ALL AND NOTHING

Despite the old age of this earth, The modernity makes it young, We walked and we ran, Many things we left behind.

We let relationships remain online, Virtual communication.

We let the young minds get colonised, Full of enjoyment and westernization..

Wickedness, injustice, devastation, Everywhere.

We let in little by little All damaged.

The earth just smiled.

Finally we reached the peak;

Modernization and destruction.

Please come to your sense, we have all and nothing.

Shah Alam Jun 2014.

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WE HAVE ALL AND NOTHING TEXT: MARIA ADIBAH AZMI IMAGE: COLIN / WIKIPEDIA!

POEM SAJAK AWAN-AWAN

SAJAK " AWAN-AWAN TEXT: ANI AZIZ ZAKARIA IMAGE: WELP.SK / WIKIPEDIA!

Negara Awan Sastera Awan Agama Awan Olahraga Awan Karya Awan Juta Awan Rupa Awan Setia Awan

Hei! Awan-awan kecil ini berpadu membentuk kesatuan tunggal.

Hoi! Lekaslah semua penduduk bersila di lantai awan ini.

Hahaha…empuknya!!

Hahaha…enaknya!!

Hahaha lembutnya!!

Wahh...Manisnya!!

Kenyal...kenyal...kenyal!!

Inikah euforia? Inikah euforia?

Lalu terbang-terbanganlah ia, Terawang-awangan, Layang-melayang Dari desa ke kota, Dari hutan ke gunung, Mengitari tiang-tiang bangunan

Ruang angkasa dilampaui, Tekanan udara menghentak-hentak, Awan tak tertanggung, Awan mula lohong dan bocor, Lalu satu persatu antara kita terjelus, Separuh terhempap di atap-atap rumah, Sebilangan tercucuk pada mercu bangunan, Ada yang menggelupur lemas di dalam tasik, Malah ramai yang hilang tersesat hutan tebal.

#1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 23

FEATURE SURVIVE THE JOB INTERVIEW

Step by Step What’s the next step after graduation? Considering the following steps might just push you to the next level TEXT: FADHLI ROZAINOOR!

“S

o what kind of music do you

listen to?”

I was struck by a simple question while the Big Bosses in front of me were flipping through my resume, page by page, one by one. There were an occasion yawns, enormous sigh and multiple vicious stares. I was fidgeting, my eyes were wandering aimlessly, my palms were sweaty and what is wrong with my brain?

If I say I listen to Jazz, they would think I’ve got an old soul but that is certainly not true. What if I tell them I only listen to non-mainstream music? Of course, they don’t even know what indie is!

They wouldn’t take me seriously if I tell them I listen to corny pop songs. Why would I be listening to country songs? I’m not even a redneck. Maybe I’ll just tell them I listen to AC/DC…or Led Zeppelin…or…

“I guess that’s pretty much it,” My thought was interrupted by one of the interviewers. “It was very nice meeting you and we will keep you updated with your application status.” He then continued, “Best of luck.” I hate him.

There goes my potential job. The interview lasted for about 10 minutes.

Every single second of it was an agony. I was 20. Still in school. And I blew my first job interview as a news stringer. Good job Fadh, way to go.

It isn’t always that easy for fresh graduates to get employed, especially with

24 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

the economy’s unpredictable and tense atmosphere. Competitions and benchmark set by some companies made it even impossible for one to get a decent career.

As anyone out there in The Hunger Games of job hunting knows, that interview itself is a key to landing the job, and it is often the toughest part of the process.

For the last four years, I have been attending more than 20 job interviews, received positive feedbacks and countless job offers. All I have got to do is just to choose! And my highest qualification is only a university diploma.

How is that even possible? How do I do that? The art of the interview is simply divine in its own way. Some are born with this particular skill, but others may need to take some time to cope. Although it is impossible for one to acquire this skill overnight, with plenty of practice and effort, you may land yourself a dream job.

Here is your one way ticket to Employment Land!

• Do not be an early bird You may think by coming in thirty minutes or an hour earlier would heighten your chances to be employed, but frankly, by coming in a little too early may jeopardise your status as an applicant. Also, you’ll risk appearing desperate. It pressures the interviewer and your job interview will surely go south. Instead, go to a nearby coffee shop. Appearing 15 minutes before your job interview would be just perfect.

Do not forget to walk calmly and confidently but most importantly, do not rush.

• Be the fairest of them all

No, you do not have to be the best looking to land yourself a job. I meant in terms of hygiene and appearance. Before you are being called in, make your way to the nearest washroom and make a final check of yourself. I would normally double check my hair, apply lip balm on my lips to avoid them from getting dry and spray a decent amount of perfume that aren’t too strong or musky. It is also mandatory for you to bring along a little bottle of mouthwash to freshen your breath. These will help a lot during the job interview.

• Leave an unforgettable first impression Please do keep this in mind: being unique enables the interviewer to remember you.

Make yourself stand out from the rest.

Wear your highest heels or your sleekest corporate wear, be friendly, vibrant and always mind your behaviour. These are the criteria that most employers are looking for.

If you’d like to do it in a subtle way, using a distinctive perfume could also help. I’d suggest vanilla-scented perfume.

• Be prepared If you do not have a copy of the job description, please do ask for it when the interview is scheduled. Scrutinise it carefully. Word by word. Sentence by sentence. If there are tests, take your time to answer the whole context. Spend the night before studying about the company’s profile if you have the time. Also, there are a lot of reasons why smartphones are invented. One of them is to take a simple Google search to find out and do a final research about the company you are interviewing with while waiting. Yes, smartphones do that too.

IMAGE: ABHIJIT BHADURI / FLICKR!

THE JOB INTERVIEW IS PRETTY SIMILAR TO SPEED DATING. YOU CHARM, CONVINCE, FIND THE MUTUAL FEELING AND YOU’LL GET ON BOARD IN NO TIME!

#1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 25

INTERVIEW GOLD!

FEATURE SURVIVE THE JOB INTERVIEW

• Charm your way to the top The time has come for you to meet the Big Bosses/Interviewers. Do not fret, and be cool. Repeat these steps: Manners, Courtesy and Sincerity. The ‘Holy Trinity’ has always been my strongest backbones during all job interviews. Put on your brightest smile and give a firm handshake to every single interviewer in the room with a “Hello, how are you, my name is ….”

Only sit when they ask you to do so and distance yourself one foot from the desk/table so that they could have a good look on you. Start off with a casual and friendly conversation before getting down to the real objective. Be bright-eyed and take an interest in your interviewer. A personal approach to the interviewers would make their day, hence, your job interview can go smoothly and fun!

The job interview is pretty similar to speed dating. You charm them with your persona, convince them with what you can offer, find that mutual feeling, and…boom!

You’ll get on board in no time!

• Don’t flatter yourself, you’re not Mariah Carey Here’s another mistake that some fresh graduates would commit. Flattering does not make the interviewer like you. You might appear to them as selfish, selfabsorbed and distasteful. This is a cheap way for you to get your way through the interview. There is certainly a classier way for you to sell yourself without sounding snooty and trashy.

One of it is by providing your

26 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

portfolios and letters of recommendation. If you do not have any work experience, try to provide a ‘mock-up’ of your work. By doing this, it indicates that you are brilliant enough to come up with an initiative, thus leading them into believing that you have a full potential to become an asset to their company.

Also, impress them with how you communicate and use that body language.

Mind your vocabulary and avoid from addressing them as ‘all of you’; instead, use ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’ throughout the job interview. Strive to make yourself sound eloquent, sharp and straightforward. Avoid the awkward silence, always make eye contact, and of course, smile when you are presenting yourself.

• Liar, liar, you’re gonna get fired (eventually) If you think that by exaggerating your work experience, lying about your capability, and dropping names would help you to get the job you desire, you are dead wrong! It will instead backfire on you. Interviewers aren’t stupid, even if you do get your way throughout the job interview; when you are hired, sooner or later you’re going to get yourself in trouble.

There was this one time when an interviewer asked me whether I could drive or not and I said “Yeah, of course!” They hired me and instructed me to drive all the way to Penang, but here’s the thing: I can’t drive and I don’t have a driving license. I ended up tendering my resignation shortly.

Lying is just like stacking Jenga blocks: it is indeed exhilarating, but the higher it is

built, the harder it’ll fall. I have learnt my lesson.

• Puh-lease, you are not hired yet!

Even though the job interview goes well and the interviewer seems to like you, do not get too overconfident. There must be hundreds of applicants applying for the same job who went for the same job interview. Your chances of being hired might not be so big after all. Always be humble, and master the art of accepting rejection. If you aren’t cut for the job, there’s plenty more!

• Keep calm and you will do good You might have some unresolved issues from your previous employer, but that does not give you the permit to bad mouth him/ her to the interviewer. Never, ever, ever say anything negative about a person or a company you worked for in a past. In fact, don’t bad mouth about anyone or anything at all. It brands you a whiner and a complainer. Keep it cool!

At times, there will be hard questions and blunt comments that some interviewers would come up with. Although this may hurt your ego, remain calm, as some interviewers like to see just how professional and unflappable you can be.

Although it may take some time to absorb all of these tips and hints, eventually you’ll get better!

Here’s another secret to everyone’s success: when one door closes, two more open. Never give up and best of luck!

POEM HAK DAN KEDAMAIAN

HAK DAN KEDAMAIAN TEXT: ABAH IMAGE: JOHN NARRIN / WIKIPEDIA!

Disini…

Perjuangan mempertahankan hak dan kedamaian Menegakkan yang lurus dari yang bengkok Merindukan senyuman yang dimakan kedukaan

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Kita perlu membuka kotak yang lapang Kita perlu terima gurisan yang benar Kita perlu memimpin cara yang tulus Kita perlu berada di jasad yang tiada seksa

Kehidupan kita milik yang Dia Kebebasan…bukannya cengkaman pemilik takhta Penyatuan bukanlah paksaan

Samalah kita mencari Mencari keindahan pelangi bersama Marilah rangka anjakan yang baru Moga pencarian ini diredhai Allah Yang Maha Kuasa

#1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 27

SHORT STORY MATAHARI, BULAN DAN PUNGGOK

P

ada zaman dahulu, ketika awan

sangat rendah hingga mampu dicapai saja dengan tangan oleh anak-anak kecil, ketika bangsa bersayap berupa manusia bersuka-sukaan di atas Bumi dan di atas langit, matahari dan bulan adalah sepasang kekasih yang paling sepadan yang pernah wujud pada waktu itu.

Apabila matahari muncul, bulan pun turut sama muncul. Apabila matahari tenggelam di sebalik gunung-ganang, bulan turut sama ikut hilang dari muka langit.

Mereka, matahari dan bulan bagai pasangan yang tidak dapat dipisahkan.

Jika terpisah bermuramlah seluruh pelosok Bumi kerana tanpa cinta mereka, Bumi hilang serinya dan segalanya tampak mati.

Rasa cinta antara kedua-dua makhluk itu secara tidak sedar telah membawa pada satu malapetaka yang tidak disangka-sangka. Bagaimanakah kisah cinta yang sepatutnya dianggap suci itu akhirnya membawa pada kemusnahan seluruh alam? Tidak terfikir dek akal.

Oh...cinta tidak salah, tapi makhluk yang bercinta itulah yang selalu salah. Perasaan sayang matahari dan bulan, dan rasa kasih mendalam bulan pada matahari telah menimbulkan sesuatu yang tidak terjangka pada penduduk Bumi pada zaman itu.

Makhluk-makhluk Bumi pada zaman itu, terutama bangsa bersayap berupa manusia, mulai mengenal apa itu cinta.

Selama ini mereka hidup dalam keadaan berperasaan beku, tiada kenal erti sedih kerana cinta, gembira kerana cinta, marah kerana cinta, apatah lagi cemburu kerana cinta. Mereka hidup bagaikan patungpatung kertas yang dikawal kuasa ghaib yang memberi arahan. Segala perlakuan mereka dilakukan tanpa ada perasaan yang sebenar.

Kehidupan apakah ini? Memang satu perkara gila. Namun, sayangnya perasaan menjadi gila juga mereka tidak dapat rasakan.

Maka kehadiran pasangan matahari dan bulan ini sebenarnya dan seharusnya membawa satu pencerahan pada penduduk seantero Bumi pada zaman itu. Mereka ibarat utusan yang menyebarkan segala rasa cinta pada penduduk Bumi amnya, dan pada bangsa berupa manusia bersayap itu khasnya.

Ya, pada mulanya segala-galanya tampak sempurna dan indah. Aura cinta bulan dan

28 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

Matahari, Bulan dan Pungguk TEXT: KAMALIA RAMLAN IMAGE: HARTWIG HKD / FLICKR!

SHORT STORY MATAHARI, BULAN DAN PUNGGOK matahari secara perlahan-lahan meresap pada semua makhluk di Bumi. Nah! Pada masa itu barulah mereka tersedar seperti baru terjaga daripada lena yang sangat panjang.

Perasaan yang indah, mengujakan serta mendebarkan itu meresap dan merebak dengan berleluasa dalam kalangan makhluk Bumi. Lebih-lebih lagi bangsa berupa manusia bersayap itu.

Pada waktu itu barulah mereka mengerti makna kehidupan yang sebenar. Di mana ada cinta, di situlah ada kehidupan.

Namun segala-galanya berubah tidak lama selepas itu. Aura cinta, kasih dan sayang bulan dan matahari telah disalahgunakan oleh mereka. Rasa cinta yang lahir dan meresap ke dalam diri mereka yang dulunya indah dan mengindahkan seluruh buana, lamakelamaan menjadi rosak. Cinta yang rosak memang membahayakan.

Mereka menggunakan alasan ‘cinta’, ‘kasih’ dan ‘sayang’ untuk menghalalkan perbuatan maksiat mereka.

Berperang atas nama cinta, kononnya.

Bergaduh atas nama kasih, kononnya.

Berbunuhan atas nama sayang, kononnya.

Dan mereka berterima kasih pada pasangan bulan dan matahari atas jalan yang ditunjukkan pada mereka. Akhirnya mereka mengerti makna cinta.

Tapi, benarkah mereka benarbenar mengerti?

***

Melihatkan keadaan di Bumi yang huru-hara, bulan dan matahari menjadi teramat sedih. Kecewa mereka tidak dapat dibendung lagi. Sepanjang hari bulan menangis sedu-sedan dan sang matahari terus memujuk dalam luka.

Kesedihan mereka berlaku dalam jangka masa yang sangat lama. Rasa bersalah yang teramat menyelubungi diri mereka. Adakah mereka penyebab utama segala kemaksiatan ini berlaku?

Malah, akibat daripada perbuatan maksiat makhluk-makhluk Bumi, berlakulah sesuatu yang di luar jangkaan.

Pada suatu hari, sekalian daratan di muka Bumi bergegar. Pada mulanya hanya berlaku gegaran yang sangat kecil saja. Bahkan bagai tidak terasa gegaran itu.

Semua makhluk masih dalam lena yang

panjang apabila gegaran menjadi semakin kuat dan menakutkan.

Makhluk-makhluk Bumi yang tidur lena mula terbangun. Ada yang keliru bingung dengan apa yang sedang berlaku.

Ada juga yang menjerit bagai hilang akal.

Tidak kurang yang lari bercempera menyelamatkan diri masing-masing.

Apa yang terjadi?

Kenapa ini boleh terjadi?

Bagaimana ini boleh terjadi?

Segala persoalan hanya berlegarlegar di benak fikiran masing-masing. Tiada satu pun makhluk muka Bumi pada ketika itu yang mampu bersuara menjawab situasi yang membingungkan itu.

Kelihatan di atas langit, bulan menangis tidak henti-henti melihat keadaan yang berlaku di daratan. Matahari pula diam membatu, kaku tidak mampu berkata apa-apa hatta cuba untuk memujuk sang bulan pun matahari tidak terluah katakatanya. Mereka benar-benar terkejut dengan apa yang sedang berlaku pada makhluk Bumi pada waktu itu. Tidak terjangkau dek akal mereka.

Gunung-ganang bergegar lalu terlipat antara satu sama lain.

Tanah rata retak besar lalu terbelah.

Sungai dan lautan tiba-tiba memuntahkan airnya menyimbah daratan dengan dahsyat.

Bumi telah musnah! Bumi telah musnah!

Teriak sebahagian makhluk yang ada di Bumi. Yang lain menangis, sementara ada juga yang masih terduduk di atas tanah kebingungan sambil menampar-nampar dada.

***

Selama beberapa hari kejadian yang menggemparkan tersebut berlaku di muka Bumi. Keadaan semakin lama semakin buruk dan melelahkan. Melihatkan keadaan yang sangat menyedihkan itu, bulan dan matahari mula memikirkan sesuatu untuk menghentikan bencana dahsyat tersebut.

Akhirnya...akhirnya selepas berminggu-minggu memikirkan penyelesaian, mereka akhirnya telah membuat satu keputusan.

Mereka harus berpisah. Tidak boleh bertemu lagi. Tidak sepatutnya berjumpa lagi. Buat selama-lamanya. Barangkali #

Bumi telah musnah!

Bumi telah musnah!

sudah tertulis dalam takdir bahawa bulan dan matahari tidak seharusnya muncul bersama-sama di puncak langit. Ia membawa bencana pada penduduk Bumi.

Ini keputusan muktamad. Pertemuan mereka akan diakhiri serta-merta!

***

Maka, sejak itu hinggalah ke zaman sekarang, bulan dan matahari tidak lagi bertemu. Bumi pun kembali tenang.

Apabila matahari muncul, bulan akan menghilangkan diri. Lalu, siang pun menjelma. Para makhluk Bumi bangun dan bekerja seperti biasa. Apabila tiba suatu waktu, matahari akan perlahan-lahan menyorok di kaki langit dan kemudian hilang. Bulan akan muncul menampakkan dirinya. Itulah petanda waktu rehat dan lena sebahagian besar makhluk Bumi.

Sang bulan yang senantiasa berjiwa sendu itu sekali-sekala menangis juga mengeluarkan air mata yang berupa bintang-bintang yang bertaburan di sekitar langit. Matahari, sang kekasih yang budiman tidak pernah melupakan bulan. Ia akan memujuk sang bulan dengan memberikan cahayanya lalu dipantulkan pada bulan. Jika itu dinamakan cinta, matahari telah membuktikan kasihnya yang tidak berbelah bahagi itu. Lihatlah, cinta tidak semestinya bersatu.

Namun, pergaduhan, peperangan dan bunuh-membunuh masih lagi berlaku dalam kalangan makhluk Bumi. Ini kerana perasaan yang kononnya mereka bilang cinta itu tidak boleh dihapuskan. Ia sudah jadi semacam sumpah. Namun, perasaan itulah yang meneruskan hidup. Walau betapa buruk pun cinta itu, harus diakui tetap ada perkara-perkara yang indah yang berlaku di dalamnya. Terimalah kenyataan itu.

***

Di suatu sudut yang lain di sebuah daratan Bumi, tidak ada satu makhluk pun yang pernah mengetahui betapa satu perasaan aneh dan kurang menyenangkan hadir dalam diri seekor pungguk. Selama ini, pada saat dia memahami apa itu rasanya mempunyai perasaan, tanpa ia sedar dia memendam satu perasaan cemburu. Hal itu sekali gus menyakitkan dan juga aneh pada masa yang sama.

Betapa dia cemburu pada pasangan bulan dan matahari. Setiap waktu, si pungguk

#1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 29

SHORT STORY / POEM MATAHARI, BULAN DAN PUNGGOK / AWEK INSOMNIA akan bertenggek di dahan pokok dan merenung pasangan kekasih itu dari jauh.

Dan, apabila bulan dan matahari berpisah, si pungguk masih menunggu sang bulan. Ia akan keluar pada malam hari, merenung penuh harap ke wajah bulan yang bercahayakan pantulan cahaya sang kekasih. Dalam diam si pungguk berdoa agar sang bulan akan berpaling kasih padanya pula. Tapi hampa. Sang bulan setianya tetap pada kekasih paling

disanjung, sang matahari.

Adakah pungguk takdirnya hanya mampu merindui bulan dari jauh?

Jika begitulah pengakhiran hidupnya, si pungguk pasrah. Walau dalam kerinduan dan cintanya hanya berlaku dalam diam, itulah yang membuatnya bertahan dan terus hidup.

Ini kisah bulan, matahari dan

pungguk dan ia berlaku pada zaman dahulu, ketika awan sangat rendah hingga mampu dicapai saja dengan tangan oleh anak-anak kecil.

Awek Insomnia TEXT: ALEENA ISA IMAGE: *SAX / FLICKR!

Sedar berjaga kerana pekatnya kopi malam.

Hati terusik kerana peritnya rasa rindu.

Rasa kopi sebegini tak seperti malam sebelum ini.

Siapa pula yang diminta oleh hati kali ini? Â Andai secangkir kopi kurang manis boleh melewatkan malam Khamis.

Andai sedekat mana mata aku boleh memandang cangkir itu, dan sejauh itu juga jarak yang memisahkan kita berdua sudah pasti rindu kita takkan kenal erti dahaga.

30 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

PHOTOGRAPHY SUNYI DALAM KETENANGAN

SUNYI DALAM KETENANGAN TEXT / IMAGE: ABAH ASIA!

Taman Tasik Taiping, Perak, Februari 2013

Apa yang membuatkan saya mengambil gambar ini adalah disebabkan oleh location scouting, di mana ketika itu saya dan krew produksi sedang mencari lokasi yang sesuai untuk filem pendek "Akhirnya..." arahan Fatin Danea.

Kerusi yang kosong, ditemani dengan suasana tasik itu membolehkan saya memberikan suatu penghargaan / 'tribute' kepada Allahyarham P. Ramlee kerana shot sebegitu terdapat dalam salah satu filem beliau. Tambahan pula, ketika mula-mula saya melihat permandangan tersebut, terus terlintas di fikiran, "ya!

Ini shot yang aku nak!”

Sebab dari situ, dah dapat tunjukkan betapa sunyinya keadaan itu. Walaupun permandangannya indah, ditemani tasik, dedaun pohon yang rendang namun jauh di sudut hati saya dapat rasakan sunyi dan uniknya, keindahan digabungkan juga dalam sunyi.

#1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 31

SHORT STORY BLINK

Blink TEXT: ZAIDAH Z IMAGE: CHRIS GIN / WIKIPEDIA!

32 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

SHORT STORY BLINK

O

livia sat still in front of her laptop,

watching a video of a man, shivering and holding a flickering flashlight, walking in a dark forest. The video turned to a point of view angle of the terrified man. His voice creaked as he took a few small baby steps further.

“I can… Hear them…” he stuttered. “They’re coming… To get me…”

Olivia paused the video. It seemed like she couldn’t bear to watch the chilling video. She didn’t have the heart to watch the video of her father’s disappearance.

Olivia had spent three months searching for her father who mysteriously went missing after a trip to find the subject for his next bestseller. On her right, there was a pile of her father’s books about the supernatural, and a couple of newspaper clippings with the big headline which read: “FAMED HORROR AND MYSTERY NOVELIST WENT MISSING.” To her left were two videotapes, labelled “WEEPING ANGELS – NIGHT #1” and “WEEPING ANGELS – NIGHT #2”.

It seemed like her father was on an intense investigation. Olivia went as fast as she could to her father’s cabin in the woods after she found out about his disappearance. After months of trying to find out what happened to her father, Olivia’s undereyes appeared dark, and her eyeballs looked bloodshot due to a lack of sleep.

Olivia saw a picture of her father and her, when she was little, on the beach, building sandcastles. Memories of her childhood hit her like a gunshot to the head. How she wished she could go back in time to that exact moment.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the front door, louder than the freight of a speeding train. She slowly went towards the front door of the house and carefully opened the door, but no one was there!

Olivia looked down on the welcome mat and found a brown envelope at her feet.

She returned to her father’s desk and prepared herself for whatever that was in the envelope that appeared suddenly at the doorstep. She opened it ever so gently.

Inside it, she took out a DVD and frantically put it in her laptop to watch. Shockingly, her father appeared on screen.

“Hello, this is Thomas Sangster. I don’t know who’s watching this video right now, but I hope I’m talking to the right person. Thomas, this is you speaking from the past. Don’t be alarmed. I got sent back in time by The Weeping Angels. I went into the forest one day, trying to find them, and I didn’t know that…”

There was a pause. He looked like he’s trying to keep his composure and control himself from crying. Alas, Olivia was already crying and placing her palm on the laptop screen, missing her father terribly.

“…I didn’t know they were real! I hope this video arrived at the right time.

Please, Thomas, I beg of you. Do not go out and find The Weeping Angels! Save yourself. Forget about writing the next bestseller. Think about your family, especially our sweet little Olivia,”

While the video was still playing, Olivia searched for anything about these ‘Weeping Angels’ her father mentioned about. After a while, she found a blue handwritten diary belonged to someone with the initials ‘R.S.’. She read a few entries, while her father continued to talk in the video.

“Those angels can zap you into the past with just one touch and let you live out your life until your eventual death. When you die in the past, they’ll consume the energy of your present life. So please, if you ever encounter them, don’t blink. Blink once and you’re dead! They’re faster than you think. Don’t turn away. Don’t look away. Just… Do. Not. Blink!”

“But how do I kill them?” Olivia asked her father inside the computer, as if he can hear her.

The diary showed an illustration of those ‘Weeping Angels’, which looked innocently beautiful when your eyes fix on them, but terrifying – with sharp fangs and pointy fingers – when you close your eyes.

After thinking about what to do and how to save her father, Olivia took a functioning flashlight from the kitchen drawer and went out of the house.

She walked alone into the woods, hoping to find what she was looking for.

The moon was blaringly enormous that night. Her heart was pumping like a jackhammer, but she ignored her fears by thinking that she’d rescue her father soon enough.

Suddenly, she saw a tall grey statue in the middle of the forest. The statue was wearing a long dress, had beautiful wings, all made from stone. She was covering her face with her palm. Quickly, Olivia’s fears returned and she was having second thoughts about going against them. She slowly turned around, but without her knowing, there was another statue about six feet away to the right from where she stood.

Olivia was panting nervously. She accidentally blinked while she turned to her left. Suddenly, the first statue was even closer than before! Olivia began to panic because she was sure that the statue moved. She turned to her right and the other statue also changed position. The statues were no longer covering their faces. Their hands were stretched out.

Olivia was crying, slowly backing away, while still keeping her eyes fixed on both statues. Then, out of nowhere, she heard a sound, like stone cracks moving. She can sense another third statue approaching behind her.

Olivia immediately thought of happy memories. Thinking about how she’d do anything for her father that have sacrificed everything for her happiness, Olivia took the longest and deepest breath she’d ever taken, while still looking at the two statues in front of her. And then, she did a daring move: She turned around and blinked.

When she opened her eyes, she was standing on a familiar beach. Suddenly, she heard someone calling her name.

Olivia turned around, where her father stood in front of her, shocked to finally see his beloved daughter.

SHE CAREFULLY OPENED THE DOOR, BUT NO ONE WAS THERE #1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 33

INTERVIEW GELANGGANG FILEM

A Zine Thing Gelanggang Filem is Malaysia’s first film zine. Xrantarox Farid talks about# the local film scene, rock music and why he likes Indonesia

W

hat is a zine? Is it a plane? Is it a

bird? Is it a man flying around wearing his underwear on the outside? Or is it a mini magazine focused on a specific subject matter?

Thoughts on Films sat down with Mr Xrantarox Farid, the editor and everything guy of Gelanggang Filem, a zine focused on Malaysian films. He has produced a number of issues since the tail end of 2013, and I’m intrigued enough to find out more. We discuss the zine scene, the underground world, and the (potential) Indonesian connection.

Hi Farid! Let’s start at the beginning.

Where do you come from and what do you do?"

Hi, thanks for interviewing me! First of all, my name is Farid, but people know me as Xrantarox. At Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM), people know me as Harry. I come from Kota Bharu, Kelantan. I began my career as a freelance writer for several music magazines and zines such as Karisma. I’m currently studying at UiTM, in the Screen programme at the Faculty of Film, Theatre and Animation (FiTA).

What got you interested in the world of films?"

This question is a little bit personal, but I will try to answer it. It began in the era of video compact discs (VCD). My school friends and I were so crazy about watching movies, but we were only able to do that

34 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

on pirated VCDs. My life feels empty if I do not watch movies. My interest in films grew back in my high school days when I was involved in the underground world.

From listening to underground music such as black, hardcore, punk and grind, indirectly my heart moved into the world of underground films as well. Nowadays, though, I prefer to watch a romantic movie.

Until now, I still love this kind of movie, but I do not quite like the big budget movies from Hollywood. They’re not to my taste.

You’re the editor of a zine called Gelanggang Filem. Now, just a brief introduction before we proceed further, in case there are some who may not know: what is a zine?"

Zine or fanzine is a publication of a do-ityourself (DIY) magazine. Previously, it was usually initated by a group of music fans who were into punk, metal indie and hardcore. Now we have a lot of different zines looking at film, poetry, cuisine and much more. The main idea is to oppose the *cking publication of magazines that emphasises trends, with so many adverts.

As such, zines bring a fresh idea and rebels against the mainstream.

What is the zine culture like in Malaysia?

Is there a strong reception to the reading and publishing of zines?"

I found out about them in 2006, when I was more into metal zines and hardcore punk.

Zine culture in Malaysia has existed for a while, since the late 1980s. If I am not mistaken the first zine is Aedes and Vortex from The East. Zines began expanding in tandem with the development of the local

underground scene. The golden age of zines was around the late 1990s and early 2000s. Back then, zine editors would only use handwriting or typewriting to write a zine. Even the method of promotion is through zine flyers disseminated covertly.

Zines started diminishing in the Internet era. Many people who like Myspace and such blogs began to read and write online rather than in zines. Nowadays it is difficult to find one. Only a few people are still interested in making zines, including me.

In your own words, what is Gelanggang Filem all about?"

Gelangang Filem has more information about the latest local movies. Besides that, I also include issues related to the local film industry, as well as reviews and much more. Gelanggang Filem ialah wardah buat warga kita!

How did you get the idea of making this zine?"

I want to make a zine that is closest to my interests. Furthermore, there are not many movie zines available right now, so I better do it. Thank God, because Gelanggang Filem is now entering its fifth issue.

Were there any other publications that served as an inspiration or reference for your own publication?"

For magazines, I used references such as Total Film, Rolling Stone, Empire, Cinemags and Gorezone. There were also other publications such as Utopia, Rhythms of the Third World, Junk, Dragon, Karisma and Konsert, amongst many, many more.

INTERVIEW GELANGGANG FILEM I get some help from my friends and lecturers. Dr Norman, for example, is a lecturer here as well. They always support me, mentally if not always financially, in making more issues. I would like to take this opportunity to say thanks to all my supporters.

When you first announced that you’re making this zine, what was the reaction like from your friends and family?"

There was a variety of different reactions, but ultimately they will support what I do.

What has the reception to Gelanggang Filem been like thus far?"

So far the readers love it and have been giving me encouragement.

What kind of readers do you have?"

To be honest, there are too many readers to keep track! However, I noticed that most readers are 20 and above.

Looking further ahead, what is in store for the zine?"

For now, only Khizanat in Ipoh, Perak is selling Gelanggang Filem in store.

Personally (and professionally) I prefer to sell it myself online or whenever there is an event of some sort. Maybe in the future it will be sold in more bookstores. I’m planning to bring this zine to Indonesia.

Why Indonesia?"

Because I like Indonesia. The culture, the indie bands, the do-it-yourself community.

Over there, this community and spirit is strong.

Have you considered setting up a website or releasing this in soft copy

BURN THE ASYLUM / WIKIPEDIA!

What makes Gelanggang Filem stand out amongst the other film publications in Malaysia?"

Perhaps as the first film zine in Malaysia?

What has been the biggest challenge in publishing this zine?"

Time and money has been the biggest obstacles. I’m still studying so time is my enemy. Furthermore, I have no job, so I had to use my own spending money.

Let’s take the latest issue. What was the most difficult part about making this issue?"

Again, time! This time I was so busy in continuing my studies in UiTM for the semester. I had to push to ensure the completion of the fifth issue. The most difficult thing in this issue is to edit the layout. I am not an expert in editing the layout and cover.

Also using the same issue, can you describe for us the step-by-step publication process?"

First, I made a list of questions to several directors, producers and actors such as Cristina Suzanne, Raja Mukhriz, Razaisyam and Fendi Carburetor Dung.

After that I will make a number of articles, as well as reviews. To finish everything I just wait for the printing, the cutting and pasting.

Cutting and pasting is the important part in making a zine. I will cut a section of the print articles in Gelanggang Filem, and paste it on to blank paper, which, once completed, will be the master copy. When completed, I will make copies of the zine.

In this way, everything can be sold.

I’m wondering about the writing team of the zine. How many people are involved in the making of Gelanggang Filem?"

Only me, actually. Other writers include Hassan Abdul Muthalib, Dr Norman Yusoff, Fadli Al Akiti, Rizal Fanatik Filem and Amir Muhammad.

You’re also a student currently studying filmmaking at the Faculty of Film, Theatre and Animation, UiTM. How do you balance both publishing the zine and your studies?"

As it stands, if there is time I will edit and write articles for Gelanggang Filem. At first it is difficult to divide my time, but the best thing I aim for is to release Gelanggang Filem every month.

Given that the faculty is one that is focused on films and filmmaking, I wonder whether it is an advantage to Gelanggang Filem. What kind of support have you received in the making of this zine?"

#1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 35

INTERVIEW GELANGGANG FILEM

I HAD TO PUSH TO ENSURE THE COMPLETION OF THE FIFTH ISSUE. THE MOST DIFFICULT THING IN THIS ISSUE IS TO EDIT THE LAYOUT 36 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

instead of publishing hardcopy editions?"

I have actually created a blog for Gelanggang Filem. Having said that, I rarely update it, to be honest. As you can probably guess from the above, I prefer to read hardcopy magazines rather than spend time reading on the computer. For now, it will only be fully available in zine form.

If someone is interested in purchasing the zine, how do they do it?"

If they want to buy Gelanggang Filem, they can either message or Whatsapp me at +60145463869. Alternatively, if you have Facebook or Twitter just check us out at Gelanggang Filem.

You can also go to Khizanat for the latest issues, if you’re based in Ipoh or Perak.

Check out their Twitter account @khizanat or drop them a line at +6012-562-2353.

Finally, you have to convince us now: why should we buy your zine?"

You should buy my zine becauseGelanggang Filem is more concerned with the main issues without any censorship.Gelanggang Filem is also a platform for us to get the latest information or news about the Malaysian film industry. Anyone is eligible to write inGelanggang Filem because it is created for you.

Alright, that’s it for now. Thanks very much for your time!"

No, thank you! I apologize for being late to answer this interview, and I hope the readers get plenty of useful information from this interview. Thanks again, and Selamat Hari Raya semua!

First published on the film site thoughtsonfilms.com in August 2014.

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NEGATIVE MUCH

Kau tahu-# Hidup memang tak selalu indah.

Tak macam drama yang kau tengok di TV# atau# Yang kau baca dalam cerpen-cerpen penulis indie.

Hidup kita-# Bukan cerita yang kau tahu pengakhirannya.# Bukan plot yang boleh kau jangkakan klimaksnya.

Bukan.# Hidup memang tak semudah itu.

Tapi kadang dalam pahit kelat hidup,# Sembunyi nikmat yang terselit di balik-balik sesuatu.

TEXT: HAZREEN SHAZA IMAGE:J.M. VAN BERKEL / STUDIO ROYALE!

#1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 37

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REVIEW ROOFTOP RANT

Read Well, Live Well Maria Adibah Azmi menjelaskan kenapa karya Hlovate Rooftop Rant # bakal mengubah minda dan hidup pembaca TEXT: MARIA ADIBAH AZMI IMAGE: *SAX / FLICKR!

“L

ontarkan… kalau tidak ia

meracun. Kongsikan… walau hanya pada awan-awan.”

Rooftop Rant merupakan antara karya Hlovate yang membuka mata, hati dan minda para pembaca seiring dengan penggunaan klausa bahasanya yang ringkas dan indah, ditambah pula dengan intipati cerita yang menarik. Kandungan jalan ceritanya amat dekat dengan realiti kehidupan, semua manusia diuji dengan pelbagai dugaan dan kekurangan. Sejauh mana ketabahan hati dan kekuatan jiwa mengharungi setiap cabaran hidup dapat membawa kepada pengertian “kembali kepada luasnya kehidupan bertuhan”.

Secara ringkasnya, Rooftop Rant membawa kisah tentang seorang gadis belasan tahun bernama Trisy yang terjerut dalam kemelut pergolakan keluarga. Trisy lebih selesa menghabiskan waktu hariannya di Rooftop Wisma Topaz sehingga pada suatu hari Trisy berkenalan dengan seorang pemuda bernama Jade di situ. Segala masalah dan konflik menjadi luahan hati antara mereka. Segala anganangan dan impian mereka terlakar kemas di Rooftop Wisma Topaz sehinggalah mereka bertemu dengan kehidupan yang lebih sempurna dan bermakna.

Berdasarkan pandangan saya, Rooftop Rant bukan sekadar novel cinta remaja tetapi merupakan novel yang mempunyai pengisian yang mendalam buat para pembaca mengenal indahnya erti sebuah kehidupan. Di pertengahan

ceritanya, Trisy berjaya mencari kekuatan jiwa mengatasi masalahnya dan membentuk diri berubah ke arah muslimah sejati. Hlovate mengajar para pembacanya untuk sentiasa kuat dan tabah mengharungi cabaran hidup serta tidak sesekali berputus asa di jalanNya. Jalan cerita yang bermain dengan pelbagai persoalan hidup melatih pembaca untuk lebih matang dalam mengambil tindakan dan belajar mengenal hidup yang lebih sempurna (keindahan hidup yang berpegang kepada agama).

Kejayaan Jade menjadi seorang kartunis yang berjaya di bumi Jakarta membuktikan bahawa keyakinan yang jitu dan semangat juang yang tinggi dapat menangkis anasir dan halangan dalam mengejar cita-cita. Kepulangan Trisy dari bumi Aberdeen menjadikan pengakhiran cerita bertambah indah dan lengkap dengan peyatuan dua hati antara mereka.

Secara totalnya, Rooftop Rant membawa pengisian cerita yang menarik dan mempunyai banyak elemen-elemen berunsur positif dan sesuai untuk semua golongan pembaca.

FACTS: ROOFTOP RANT! Penulis: Hlovate Penerbit: Jemari Seni!

Muka surat: 538 Tahun: 2009 !

ROOFTOP RANT MERUPAKAN ANTARA KARYA HLOVATE YANG MEMBUKA MATA, HATI DAN MINDA PARA PEMBACA #1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 39

SHORT STORY PENGEMBARAAN KE BILIK TENGAH KEPUNYAAN MAISARAH

Pengembaraan ke Bilik Tengah Kepunyaan Maisarah TEXT: KAMALIA RAMLAN!

B

aiklah, hari ini kita mahu

bercerita tentang sebuah pengembaraan.

Kita tidak mahu pergi negara bekas pemerintahan Kemal Atatürk. Pun begitu, jauh sekali kita ingin terbang bak layanglayang merentasi ke negara yang pernah melalui zaman keemasan Andalusia. Kita mahu pergi mengembara ke tempat yang dekat-dekat sahaja. Tidak guna juga kalau pergi jauh-jauh jika hati pun tiada bersama.

Biar dekat di mata, dekat juga di hati, tak gitu?

Hari ini kita akan mengembara ke suatu tempat yang agak peribadi, berdunia kecil tetapi indah ala dunia fantasi kepunyaan seorang gadis yang sederhana cantik bak kata orang-orang sekelilingnya, iaitu Maisarah. Maisarah baik hati hari ini kerana dia telah membenarkan kita semua mengembara ke biliknya yang kecil itu.

***

Mula-mula sekali eloklah diperkenalkan dahulu serba sedikit mengenai bilik si Maisarah ini. Biliknya tidak besar sebab bilik itu terletak di dalam sebuah rumah teres kos rendah satu tingkat yang seringkali silingnya bocor apabila hujan lebat. Walau bagaimanapun, bilik ini mampu memuatkan beberapa

40 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

perkara asas seperti sebuah katil bujang, sebuah almari buku, satu meja tulis dan laci baju. Bilik Maisarah adalah bilik tengah di mana bilik utama adalah bilik ibu bapanya dan yang ketiga merupakan bekas bilik tidur tetamu yang kini menjadi bilik sah adiknya. Persengketaan tidak berkesudahan di antara Maisarah dan adiknya apabila tinggal di dalam satu bilik yang sama tidak dapat diselesaikan ibarat persengkataan antara Puteri Santubong dan Puteri Sejinjang lagaknya. Jadi, adiknya mengambil keputusan memindahkan diri, pakaian serta apa-apa yang penting ke bilik ketiga. Rundingan dipersetujui oleh kedua-dua belah pihak di antara Maisarah dan adiknya. Dua-dua gembira. Masalah selesai!

Itu serba sedikit sejarah bilik tengah yang dipunyai oleh Maisarah secara sah ketika ini. Mari kita teruskan pengembaraan ini dengan kita mulakan ia dari arah lawan jam bermula dengan pintu masuk ke bilik.

***

Pintu, warnanya kuning berkrim.

Dicat dengan tidak sempurna dan rata kerana ia dilakukan dengan tergesa-gesa.

Pintu, memang tidak menarik dari pandangan luar tetapi Maisarah memujuk kita semua agar tidak menghakimi isi bilik melalui ketidaksempurnaan cat pintunya.

Kemudian, setelah kita melangkah ke dalam biliknya, pasti kita berasa seperti selangkah ke alam fantasi kerana bau haruman lemon, mawar dan lavender terus sahaja masuk dengan penuh gaya lembut ke rongga hidung kita. Lebih asyik dihidu sambil memejam mata. Bak kata John Lennon, “living is easy with eyes closed” kerana apabila kita membuka mata, mungkin ilusi dunia fantasi itu tidak seindah realiti sebenar keadaan bilik Maisarah yang sebenarnya sedikit berselerak (bukan kotor, tetapi berselerak).

Sambung John Lennon lagi, “misunderstanding all you see.” Salah faham mungkin akan terjadi di mata kita.

Namun Maisarah menyarankan agar kita melihat dengan mata hati kerana mata kasar kadang-kadang double standard sifatnya.

MAISARAH BAIK HATI HARI INI KERANA DIA TELAH MEMBENARKAN KITA SEMUA MENGEMBARA KE BILIKNYA KECIL ITU

KARA VASQUEZ / DEVIANT ART!

SHORT STORY PENGEMBARAAN KE BILIK TENGAH KEPUNYAAN MAISARAH Di belakang pintu tergantung beberapa helai baju dengan pelbagai jenis warna. Maisarah seorang gadis yang merayakan kepelbagaian warna di muka bumi ini dengan mengumpul pelbagai jenis baju berlainan warna. Buat masa sekarang baju yang tergantung ada yang berwarna putih kosong. Berkedut di bawah tetapi sangat cantik apabila sudah digosok. Ada berwarna biru laut dengan corak bungabunga oren. Itu antara baju kegemarannya kerana Maisarah membeli baju itu di sebuah gudang pakaian yang menjual dengan harga runtuh dan pada masa itu dia baru sahaja mendapat gaji dan pada masa itu juga dia berjumpa dengan seorang lelaki berambut afro yang bekerja di situ. Apa kaitannya baju biru laut bercorak bunga-bunga oren dengan semua itu? Kalau tidak kerana baju itu, dia tidak akan membelanjakan RM10 daripada gajinya untuk baju itu dan dia tidak dapat bertemu dengan lelaki berambut afro itu.

Kini lelaki berambut afro itu telah selamat menjadi teman lelakinya.

Ayat tersebut hanya angan-angan Maisarah sahaja. Jangan dilayan sangat.

Lagi pula Maisarah sudah tidak ambil peduli pun dengan lelaki itu. Siapa dia?

Mana tempat tinggal dia? Maisarah tidak ambil tahu. Lelaki berambut afro itu ibarat tren komuter yang berhenti seminit di hati Maisarah kemudian berlalu meninggalkan persoalan-persoalan tersebut tidak berjawab.

***

Kini kita ke laci baju Maisarah pula. Maisarah tiada almari baju. Dia hanya ada laci baju sahaja. Lacinya merupakan laci plastik dan saiznya tidaklah sebesar mana. Memang tidak cukup pun untuk menampung pakaian-pakaian Maisarah dan masalah saiz laci bajunya itu menyebabkan ada sedikit kesedihan mencubit hatinya dalam diam.

Kawan-kawannya pernah berkata saiz almari baju berkadar langsung dengan pertambahan umur. Kenyataan ini tidak boleh diguna pakai oleh Maisarah kerana almari baju pun Maisarah tidak ada. Saiz laci bajunya itu pula adalah statik semenjak dia berumur sepuluh tahun lagi. Yang berubah adalah pertambahan koleksi bajubajunya sahaja dan itu antara penyumbang sebanyak 30 peratus selerak di dalam bilik Maisarah. Mujurlah Maisarah dianugerahkan dengan hati yang sederhana baik di mana ada beberapa bajunya akan disedekahkan kepada orang lain. Jikalau Maisarah tidak berniat mahu sedekah pun, dia akan menjual bajubajunya itu dengan harga yang jauh lebih

murah daripada harga asal. Malah lebih murah daripada harga baju biru laut bercorak bunga-bunga oren yang pernah dibelinya itu. Bukankah Maisarah mempunyai hati yang sederhana baik?

Walaupun begitu, Maisarah ada satu tabiat yang jarang-jarang dipunyai oleh orang lain. Dia suka menyusun bajubajunya mengikut warna yang sama. Okey, yang itu mungkin ramai juga yang suka melakukannya. Nampak macam ada unsur-unsur pelangi yang cuba dimasukkan ke dalam seni susunan baju di dalam bilik itu dan pelangi selalunya dikaitkan dengan keindahan. Begitulah andaian Maisarah. Susunan warna bajubajunya yang teratur itu sekurangkurangnya meredakan kesedihan Maisarah yang tidak mempunyai almari baju yang besar.

Putih, untuk laci pertama. Ada blaus putih yang pernah Maisarah pakai sekali sahaja kerana telah ditertawakan secara halus oleh rakan-rakan sekuliah atas sebab-sebab yang tidak dapat dipastikan.

Dengki barangkali, tetapi blaus putih itu sebenarnya tidak layak untuk menjadi penyebab berlakunya perasaan dengki di antara rakan-rakannya. Pertama, blaus itu harganya murah. Sekitar RM15 sahaja.

Kedua, blaus tersebut tidak menggunakan wang rakan-rakannya. Walau bagaimanapun, Maisarah mengambil keputusan untuk tidak memakai blaus putih itu untuk ke kuliah dan tidak juga untuk ke mana-mana acara sekalipun.

Takut-takut terserempak dengan rakanrakannya di luar waktu kuliah dan telinganya terpaksa menahan ketawaketawa halus daripada mereka lagi.

Merah jambu dan ungu untuk laci kedua. Ada baju kurung merah jambu berbunga ungu terletak di situ. Baju kurung yang siap dibeli. Maisarah jarang ada masa untuk menempah baju kurung sendiri.

Maksudnya di sini, Maisarah jarang ada masa dan wang untuk menempah baju kurung sendiri. Pernah juga Maisarah berkira-kira mahu sahaja menerima lamaran seorang Datuk-yang-tidakpopular-tetapi-dikhabarkan-banyak-dapatprojek-juta-juta supaya dapatlah dia menyarung baju kurung manik-manik silau yang ditempah khas untuknya. Namun memandangkan lamaran tersebut berupa lamaran menjadi wanita simpanan seperti anak patung Barbie yang plastik itu, hati Maisarah berbelah bahagi. Selepas ditolak, dicampur, didarab dan dibahagi elok-elok lamaran tersebut, hatinya yang sederhana baik itu menolak secara baik lamaran tersebut. Tetapi esok-esok Maisarah belum tahu lagi. Mungkin terbuka hatinya untuk menerima lamaran tersebut dan lebih

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SHORT STORY PENGEMBARAAN KE BILIK TENGAH KEPUNYAAN MAISARAH gembira saat dia berjaya mendapatkan blaus itu. Sepuluh kali ganda gembira kerana dia tidak perlu bantuan mana-mana Datuk yang-ada-projek-juta-juta-tetapitidaklah-popular-sangat. Dia bekerja separuh masa sebagai seorang pengasuh anak-anak sepupunya selama sebulan lima hari dengan penuh dedikasi dan tanggungjawab. Dia tiada pengalaman menjaga kanak-kanak tetapi jika ditanya nanti, dia sudah bersedia untuk menjadi seorang ibu yang baik. Benarlah, pengalaman memang banyak mengajar manusia.

Namun begitu, blaus ini jarang-jarang sekali dipakai oleh Maisarah. Tidak selesa katanya. Lalu Maisarah membuat satu teori bahawa barangkali dia hanya sesuai menyarung pakaian yang murah-murah sahaja. Jika tiada orang-orang sepertinya, siapa yang mahu menyarung pakaian murah? Ayat yang cuba diberitahu oleh akalnya untuk menyedapkan hatinya. Dia terima seadanya. Bukankah hatinya sederhana baik?

Jingga dan kuning untuk laci keempat.

Maaf tidak boleh cerita banyak-banyak tentang isi kandungan laci ini. Bukannya apa, dia tidak ada pengalaman menarik untuk laci ini. Lagi pula, warna kuning ini sensitif sikit bagi sesetengah orang.

Katanya menghasut. Entahlah, Maisarah pun bingung juga.

Hijau didedikasikan untuk laci akhir. Sekali lagi, tiada apa-apa yang berbahaya mengenai laci ini kerana Maisarah yakin tiada unsur-unsur mana-mana parti politik di dalam laci ini (begitu juga dengan laci ketiga yang khas untuk warna biru). Pada laci ini terlipat sehelai baju tidur hijau lembut kepunyaan Maisarah. Baju tidur ini adalah baju tidur kesayangan Maisarah kerana ia menjadi salah satu sebab Maisarah dapat tidur dengan lena. Lembut, selesa dan paling penting ia merupakan warna kegemaran Maisarah. Dibeli sekali lagi dengan harga yang murah. Murah dan selesa adalah satu kombinasi yang mengasyikkan! Lebih-lebih lagi untuk

sehelai baju tidur. Terima kasih kerana membuat malam-malam Maisarah disulami dengan tidur yang nyenyak.

***

Selepas ke laci baju, mari kita ke meja tulis Maisarah pula. Walaupun namanya adalah meja tulis tetapi ia tidaklah digunakan oleh Maisarah untuk menulis. Meja itu hanyalah berfungsi sebagai tempat persinggahan sementara untuk barang-barang peribadi Maisarah seperti alatan solek, buku-buku nota, anak patung beruang putih, dompet hitam lusuh, botol minyak wangi dan gambar Maisarah dan adiknya ketika kecil yang diambil sebelum pergi mengaji AlQuran di rumah ustazah berdekatan.

Maisarah tidak menulis di meja tulis. Dia menulis di atas katil. Bagi Maisarah, katilnya adalah segala-galanya. Dia menulis di atas katil, menaip di atas katil, membaca di atas katil, berbual di telefon bimbit sambil berbaring di atas katil, beranganangan menjadi ikon remaja dengan menyanyi di atas katil, kadang-kadang mampu makan di atas katil dan semestinya tidur di atas katil.

Katil Maisarah katil bujang. Tilamnya sudah lama iaitu sejak 14 tahun yang lalu. Yang baru hanyalah cadar-cadarnya sebagai penyeri katil. Maisarah tidak berapa kisah sangat kerana katilnya itu sangat selesa.

Walaupun tilamnya sudah lama dan buruk, dia tidak pernah terjaga tengah-tengah malam akibat sakit belakang kerana tilam lama itu. Tilam lamanya tidak pernah berbuat onar pada diri Maisarah. Tilamnya setia, jadi Maisarah juga setia dan tidak mahu curang. Budi baik dibalas baik, begitulah prinsip Maisarah. Maisarah menganggap tilamnnya walau tidak cantik di luar, tetapi mempunyai kecantikan dalaman yang hanya dia sahaja tahu.

Hanya manikam mengenal jauhari, begitulah perumpamaannya.

***

PUBLIC DOMAIN ARCHIVE / PIXABAY!

molek kalau lamaran tersebut bertukar ke lamaran menjadi isteri sah Datuk-yangtidak-popular-tetapi-dikhabarkan-banyakdapat-projek-juta-juta itu.

Disebabkan baju kurung merah jambu berbunga ungu itu hanya dibeli dengan harga yang murah iaitu kira-kira RM65 sepasang, maka Maisarah terpaksa menebalkan muka apabila ada seorang wanita yang turut menyarung baju kurung yang sama, serupa dan sebijik seperti baju kurung Maisarah semasa menghadiri majlis persandingan saudara bau-bau bacangnya.

Hanya yang berbeza barangkali saiz bajunya sahaja. Apa yang menyebalkan hati Maisarah ketika itu (tidak tahu tahap kebaikan hatinya pada masa itu sudah jatuh daripada sederhana baik ke tahap yang lebih parah atau masih kekal sederhana baik), wanita tersebut jauh lebih cantik daripadanya. Jauh bagai langit dengan bumi. Untuk mengelak dirinya daripada dibanding-bandingkan dengan wanita cantik itu (mari kita namakan wanita itu dengan nama Maria kerana nama Maria selalunya dikaitkan dengan wanita-wanita cantik), Maisarah telah buat-buat demam dan loya tekak lalu ingin ke tandas ingin muntah. Jadi berdiam dirilah Maisarah di dalam tandas selama 30 minit lamanya dan membiarkan Maria sahaja memperagakan baju kurung merah jambu berbunga ungu sendirian. Biarlah Maria sahaja menyangka hanya dia seorang sahaja ada baju kurung tersebut di dunia ini. Biarkan...biarkan.

Untuk pengetahuan kita semua, Maisarah boleh sahaja terus pulang ke rumah tetapi memandangkan dia sendiri pun menumpang kereta sepupunya, dia rela berdiam diri di dalam tandas. Tandas bukanlah pilihan yang baik tetapi dewan perkahwinan tersebut tidak mempunyai perpustakaan awam untuk dia menyembunyikan diri sambil membaca buku sebagai terapi. Sayanglah...

Biru untuk laci ketiga. Ada satu blaus biru laut yang agak mahal terlipat elok di situ.

Blaus itu dibeli di kedai yang mahal dan dengan harga yang mahal. Maisarah

42 | CQ MAGAZINE | #1

SHORT STORY PENGEMBARAAN KE BILIK TENGAH KEPUNYAAN MAISARAH Kemudian kita mengembara pula ke satu tempat yang agak fantasi di dalam bilik Maisarah. Kita kini sudah sampai ke almari buku Maisarah. Maisarah ulat buku. Dia tidak memberi gelaran itu, tetapi rakanrakannya menggelarkan dirinya begitu. Dia tidak rasa dia ulat buku. Dia cuma suka akan buku. Dia suka bau buku baharu. Dia suka dapat peluk buku yang sudah lama dalam senarai pilihannya. Dia suka dapat baca buku yang dapat membuatkan watak-watak itu menjelma dalam lewat mimpi-mimpinya lalu dia turut sama-sama terjun sebagai watak di dalam cerita itu.

Dia rasa menyukai buku adalah satu anugerah. Dia tidak benci orang yang tidak suka buku. Dia suka buku, dia okey. Orang lain tidak suka buku, itu bukan masalah dia.

Almari buku Maisarah berwarna coklat tua.

Diperbuat daripada kayu dan dibeli dengan harga potongan 20 peratus kerana dia merupakan pelanggan pertama di kedai perabot tersebut ketika itu. Rezeki orang siapa yang tahu, kan? Maisarah pernah terbaca juga bahawa rezeki selalu mencari orang yang sabar, tabah, tahan uji dan gembira. Barangkali ada benarnya kerana Maisarah adalah seorang yang sabar dan tabah kerana setelah hampir 21 tahun barulah dia berupaya memiliki almari buku sendiri setelah lantai bilik tidurnya menjadi almari utama buat buku-bukunya. Dia juga tahan diuji walaupun kadang-kadang ada di antara buku-bukunya basah terkena air hujan yang bocor melalui siling bilik tidurnya. Walaupun begitu, dia tetap gembira untuk terus memburu buku-buku yang lain.

Maisarah gemar melihat buku-bukunya tersusun di rak-rak almarinya itu. Lagaknya seperti menatap lukisan Sunflowers karya Vincent van Gogh dengan penuh emosi.

Maisarah suka melihat buku Fahaman & Ideologi Umat Islam tulisan Abdul Hadi Awang dan The God Delusion tulisan Richard Dawkins yang menganut fahaman ateis itu berdiri sebelah-menyebelah seperti jiran tetangga yang harmoni. Bak kata orang saling melengkapi antara satu sama lain. Begitu juga halnya yang berlaku di rak tengah. Novel Cekik yang diuaruarkan sebagai novel porno Melayu itu diapit kiri kanan oleh novel sastera cinta melankolik, Sangeetha karya Azizi Haji Abdullah dan novel drama sarat falsafah, Â Bila Tuhan Berbicara karya Faisal Tehrani.

Tiada sifat dengki-mendengki dengan isi novel masing-masing. Kesemuanya ada kelebihan masing-masing.

Di atas almari buku Maisarah terletak beberapa cebisan kenangan di situ. Di kiri atas almari ada sebuah pasu bunga kaca warna-warni yang mengandungi sekuntum

mawar kuning yang sudah kering. Kita semua puas mengorek isi hati Maisarah tentang pasu bunga itu dan mawar kuning kering. Maisarah cuma memberitahu ia adalah kenangan yang sudah terpahat menjadi ilusi yang tidak berkesudahan. Ya, kadangkala fikiran Maisarah sukar difahami.

***

Baiklah, almari buku merupakan destinasi terakhir kita ke pengembaraan merentasi bilik Maisarah. Sepanjang berada di dalam pengembaraan ini kita semua tentu mengalami pelbagai perasaan yang bercampur baur. Ada di antara kita semua yang merasakan telah masuk ke alam fantasi. Mungkin juga berasa berada di alam psiko thriller. Alam cinta, kebarangkaliannya juga besar. Alam seram mungkin ada beberapa orang sahaja di antara kita yang merasai pengalaman tersebut setelah mengembara ke dalam bilik Maisarah. Tidak kiralah apa pun perasaan kita semua, kita akhirnya berjaya juga menamatkan pengembaraan ke dunia peribadi Maisarah.

Sebenarnya sebelum kita semua benarbenar menamatkan pengembaraan ini, ada satu lagi tempat yang Maisarah tidak membawa kita semua melawat. Apa dia?

Ia adalah cermin besar yang terletak elok di dinding tengah bilik yang diapit oleh katil dan almari buku Maisarah. Maisarah tidak membawa kita semua melawat cermin besar itu kerana Maisarah sendiri berasa kurang senang  dan waswas dengan cermin besar itu. Dia beranggapan bahawa cermin besar itu seperti seorang kawan yang cuba untuk tikam belakang dirinya tetapi dia tidak ada bukti kukuh.

Maisarah ada alasan yang munasabah dengan perasaan itu. Setiap kali dia menatap wajahnya di cermin besar itu dia akan terlihat garis-garis halus di wajahnya.

Baik sama ada di dahi atau di sekitar matanya. Adakah garisan-garisan halus itu benar-benar wujud? Sama ada cermin itu berbohong atau dia yang membohongi cermin itu. Salah satu mesti salah. Dan sehingga ke hari ini Maisarah tiada bukti untuk menuduh cermin besar itu berbohong!

Maisarah cuma memberitahu ia adalah kenangan yang sudah terpahat menjadi ilusi yang tidak berkesudahan. Ya, kadangkala fikiran Maisarah sukar difahami

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POEM KISAH BAWANG

KISAH BAWANG TEXT: ARAF AZIZ IMAGE: DARWIN BELL / FLICKR!

Kau tak tahu kisah seulas bawang yang murah, kalau kau kupas satu-persatu, kau akan menangis.# Lepas kau menangis, kau akan gaulkan dengan asam garam gula.# Dan bawang itu tumpang berteduh di dalam perut kau.# Bawang itu tahu; lambat-laun, dia akan pergi juga, menjadi sisa-sisa yang terbuang.

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SHORT STORY MY DEAR LESLIE

My Dear Leslie I

walked alone not so deep in the forest.

I felt so frustrated with my life. I was a failure. My girlfriend cheated on me. I got fired from the job that I never liked at the first place. My ‘friends’ laughed at me. I felt completely broken that I really did not care if a fate worse than them all should happen to me right there and then.

But all those self-defeating thoughts ended when I saw something I never thought I could see in the forest. I saw a cute teenage girl. She had a short dark brown hair. She wore a Gothic Lolita outfit. Her skin was pale. She was holding a creepy doll. She did not see me since she was looking down.

I took my steps toward her. She noticed my presence and took a glance at me. I almost smiled at her before she suddenly turned around and ran away.

“Wait!” I shouted at her as I took my steps to chase after her. After running for a while, I felt somewhat tired.

“Why are you following me?” I heard a girl’s voice asking that behind my back. So, I turned around. It was her.

“No. I just...” I was still out of breath.

“If you have no business, please leave this place immediately,” she said coldly.

“I’m sorry. May I know you?” I directly asked her what was in my mind.

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“What you want to get to know me

for?” she asked emotionlessly.

“I don’t know. My life is a mess. My friends betrayed me. My girlfriend cheated on me. And then, I saw you. I don’t know. I just...”

“You are the same as me,” she said.

I was confused.

“I also have been betrayed,” she added.

After few seconds of deafening silence, I walked toward her until I stood face to face with her.

“I’m Phil. You are?” I introduced myself.

“I am Leslie,” she said.

“Do you live here?”

“Basically, yes.”

“Where’s your house?”

“You have no need to know,” she said coldly. I guessed she would not open up that easily.

Ever since that night, I kept coming back to the forest every night just to see her. Early on, she was stern and cold.

Gradually, I could see that she got used to my presence. I started thinking that I may be infatuated with this girl.

That one night, as usual, I would hang out with her. This time, I brought her flowers. We sat on the grass face to face with one another.

PUBLIC DOMAIN ARCHIVE / PIXABAY! !

TEXT: EYM RHAIM!

#1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 47

IMAGE: ABHIJIT BHADURI / FLICKR!

She fell to her knees and looked down. Now, we are face to face with one another

SHORT STORY MY DEAR LESLIE She continued to cough. Before I could do anything to help her, she coughed out blood. Then, she even vomited out blood. I really worried now.

“Leslie, are you okay?” I put my hand on her shoulder. She pushed my hand aside.

“I have to go,” she said coldly before quickly took her leave. I decided to follow her to find out what was exactly happening to her. She was not aware that I was just few meters away from her. She fell down on her knees and continued to cough. I hid behind a tree and witnessed her suffering.

She grunted and then screamed in agony. I kept watching from behind the same tree. Then, I saw it all. I saw Leslie transforming from her lovely human form into a ghostly girl. I was horrified that I screamed out loud to the point that she could hear me. She turned her gaze toward me.

“You have found me out?” she said with an echoing voice. She stood up and walked toward me.

“Then, I will have to kill you,” she continued walking toward me. I fell on my butt.

“Leslie, no!” I shook my head in fear and disbelief.

Now, she was standing in front of me, ready to kill me. She tried to use her hand that had sharp claws to attack me.

However, before her hand could reach me, it stopped.

“I could not do it. Not to you,” she said before reverting back to her human form. She fell to her knees and looked down. Now, we are face to face with one another.

“Leslie, what exactly are you?”

“Phil, do you love me?” she suddenly asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Just answer me. Do you love me?” she lifted her head up and stared at me right in the eyes.

“I think so.”

“Then, please help me. Free me from this suffering.”

“What?”

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“The truth is I am already dead.”

“No way!”

myself to hurt her. We ended each other’s sufferings and now we were the ones who comforted one another. I would kill just about anyone for my dear Leslie.

“I had an incurable disease and experienced an inevitable death. My boyfriend who could not accept my death used magic to manifest my soul as you could see right in front of you now.”

“You had a boyfriend?”

“He does not love me anymore. He has always tormented me. I wish I could just run away. But he has my dead body’s heart, so he can control me all he wants.

What happened to me just now was all his doing. He was calling me home.”

“How do I free you from this?”

“Kill him. And take my heart from him. That way, you will be the one having control over me, but I know that you would not do what he has done to me.”

“Fine. I’ll help you, Leslie. I won’t let you suffer anymore. Just show me the way to where that scum is,” I said with anger and determination. My anger was toward the one who hurt my dear Leslie. My determination was to free Leslie from the fate she did not deserve.

So, she led me to the house which turned out to be the one that she lived in: her boyfriend’s house. I was already holding some sort of sharp wood that I intended on using.

“This is the house, Phil. Be careful,” Leslie whispered to me.

I knocked the front door. After several seconds, a guy opened up the door with an angry face.

“Leslie! Where have you...” he saw me and seemed surprised.

“So, you’re the one who hurt Leslie?”

“Who are you?”

“Unforgivable!” I stabbed the guy right in the chest, witnessed by Leslie. He fell down. I walked into the house to find Leslie’s heart while Leslie waited outside.

Then, I found it. Leslie’s heart was being kept in a container on a rack. I took it and, with Leslie, left behind a dead body and Leslie’s tormenting fate.

Ever since then, I stayed in the forest with Leslie. I could never bring

She grunted and then screamed in agony. I kept watching from behind the same tree. Then, I saw it all

POEM USAH CARI, AKU DI SINI

TEXT: EQHA ANWAR IMAGE: VICKI NUNN / WIKIPEDIA!

Jika ingin terbang menjengah angkasa Siapkan sayap tebar dengan yakin Jika ingin selam menjenguk lautan Penuhkan kuasa pastikan kebal kapal selam Jika ingin petik sang bintang Sediakan galah yang panjangnya mencapai Jika ingin peluk indahnya sang bulan Eratkan rakulan genggam jangan dilepaskan Jika ingin merasa bayu berbicara Pejamkan mata bukalah hati Jika ingin mencari erti sesuatu Pacakkan minda simile yang nyata Jika ingin merasa sayangnya kasih Himpunkan hati yang bisa menahan semua Jika ingin mencari teman kawan, mencari kawan sahabat, mencari sahabat selamanya Usah cari, aku di sini.

USAH CARI, AKU DI SINI #1 | CQ MAGAZINE | 49

SHORT STORY BFF

BFF TEXT: ALEENA ISA! IMAGE: GUILLAUME PAUMIER / WIKIPEDIA!

A

minah merupakan seorang pelajar

tingkatan lima. Hari-hari, dia akan ke perpustakaan bukan untuk meminjam buku, bukan juga untuk usha awek mahupun menjadi nerd poser, tetapi untuk memerhatikan pelajar-pelajar yang lain, di sebalik rak-rak buku yang ada. Ya, agak creepy disitu. Aminah terpaksa melakukan kegiatan ini dengan kerap kerana Aminah sangat berminat dalam bidang penulisan.

Dia suka menulis cerita pendek mengenai semangat setia kawan. Walau bagaimanapun, Aminah tidak mempunyai sebarang teman akrab. Kali terakhir dia merasai nikmat mempunyai teman akrab ialah semasa dia di bangku sekolah tadika.

Pada masa lapang, Aminah akan acah-acah mencari buku tetapi dia sebenarnya sedang mendengar perbualan sekumpulan kawan baik yang dipilih secara rawak. Sisterhood, katanya. Aminah gelak seorang diri. Namun, Aminah bukanlah seorang mad freak seperti dalam mana-mana cerita psiko asrama, di mana seorang perempuan antagonis itu adalah seorang lesbian yang pernah membunuh ramai lelaki kerana merampas BFF-nya.

Aminah ada ramai kawan. Semua orang

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senang mendekatinya tetapi dia sendiri mengelak daripada mempunyai kawan rapat. Bukannya tak ada orang yang ajak dia menonton wayang atau menggedik di Forever 21 dan H&M. Aminah cuma tak selesa. Paranoid pun ada. Takut itu dan ini.

Takut pada kehilangan, seperti yang dia pernah rasa.

Suatu hari, ketika di dalam kelas matematik tambahan, Halim dimarahi oleh Cikgu Lee kerana tidak menyiapkan kerja sekolah yang diberinya kelmarin.

“Keluar dari kelas ni! Kau duduk kat luar sana! Jangan duduk dengan pelajar yang rajin!"

Tanpa melengahkan waktu dan kejanggalan, Halim keluar dari kelas dan berdiri di koridor. Jam pada waktu itu menunjukkan pukul 12 tengah hari. Ya, satu jam sahaja lagi untuk balik rumah tetapi cari gaduh juga untuk berdiri tengah panas dengan keadaan dalam kepala terbayang nasi putih dan telur goreng dekat rumah. Aminah memerhatikan Halim.

Kawan-kawannya hanya mampu gelakkan dia tanpa membuat Cikgu Lee perasan tingkah laku mereka. Halim hanya mampu mengeluarkan jari tengahnya bila Cikgu Lee sedang memeriksa buku pelajar yang lain.

Aminah terfikir sesuatu. Tidak lama kemudian, Cikgu Lee tiba di meja Aminah.

Aminah dengan yakinnya menjawab "Buku saya tertinggal, Cikgu."

Hal ini menghangatkan lagi gas radang Cikgu Lee.

"Keluar sana!" Aminah pun keluar kelas sambil Halim memerhatikan dia dengan wajah yang hairan. Dia memandang Halim sambil berkata, "Aku boring. Dah, jangan tanya."

Lalu Aminah mengeluarkan pemain MP3 dari koceknya. Sambil itu, Aminah memasang pendengar telinga belah kanan manakala pendengar telinga belah kiri dihulurkan kepada Halim. Halim tergelak kecil.

Sebenarnya buku Aminah ada di dalam begnya. Sengaja dia mengaku tak bawa. Aminah tersenyum.

“Kalaulah aku dapat buat sesuatu demi pengembaraan hari esok yang aku sendiri tak pasti.�

Dia belajar sesuatu pada hari itu.

SHORT STORY BREAK MY STRINGS

Break My Strings TEXT: EYM RHAIM IMAGE: BLOODDRUNKDYLAN / DEVIANT ART!

A

short black hair. White skin. Puffy

eyes. A skinny body. A black suit with a black shirt underneath the jacket. A red bow tie. A pair of black dress shoes. This was how I had been looking like since day one. I could not remember how long it had been since I first came into existence.

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SHORT STORY BREAK MY STRINGS I had been a marionette for as long as I could remember. I had never quite figured out when was the first time all these strings got attached to my limbs. I could hardly remember if I had ever been in control of my own self and my own life.

There had been a number of puppeteers who had pulled my strings.

They had been making me do what they wanted me to do. I was not happy at all to have my own body moving against my own will.

I continued to act according to however my puppeteer at a time chose to move his or her fingers. If he or she wanted me to walk, then I would walk. If he or she wanted me to play dead, then I would play dead. I just kept doing what I was made to do by my puppeteer.

“Is it right or okay to be controlled like this?” I kept asking myself that one question over and over again.

“Should I start trying to break free and move on my own will?” was another question that I could not quite figure out the answer for.

I saw some of my fellow marionettes finally moving on their own.

They no longer had strings attached to them. They managed to break their own strings.

“Hey Damien, I’m leaving. Hope to see you again someday,” one of them said to me.

“Damien, I’m going to pursue my dream,” another one of them told me.

“I think I want to go for an adventure. You should too, Damien.”

“Now that I’m finally free, I’m kind of excited to see what is out there for me to see.”

One by one, they all were leaving me behind, moving toward whatever awaited them ahead. I envied them.

Watching them leaving me just like that killed me. I wished I could move on my own just like them.

But sometimes, I wanted to think that my life may not be as bad as it always seemed to me. The way I saw it, as long as I just acted according to however my puppeteer wanted me to act, I would be just fine. I would not have so much to worry about, or so I would like to think.

One day, I may have experienced

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some change of pace. I saw what I never thought I would. I saw a dreamy marionette. I was so drawn to and mesmerised by her indescribable beauty, to say the least. She had a slim body, a short black hair with red highlights, and a pale skin with eye shadow around both of her eyes to complement it. She wore a short red and black kimono with matching red and black sandals. She also had strings attached to her limbs, just like me.

I really wanted to approach and get to know her. However, because of the strings attached to me, it was hard for me to even walk towards her. Every time I did so, the strings attached to my limbs would just pull me back to my puppeteer. I could only hope that the time will come where our respective puppeteers brought us close to one another.

Few days later, my wish came true.

It actually happened. Controlled by her puppeteer, the dreamy marionette walked toward me. However, I was rather nervous seeing her coming that I could not even utter a single word to her. Several seconds had passed and I still could not find my courage. While trying so hard just to find my courage to make a sound for her to hear, she slowly walked past me and then left me behind.

I felt so disappointed with myself.

After a brief moment of self-loathing, I decided that the next time she was close to me, I would surely say something to her.

I would not hesitate anymore.

A few days later, it happened again.

Once again, under the control of her puppeteer, she walked toward me. I told myself that I would approach her for sure this time. I could only wait until she was finally close enough to hear me if I said anything. Then, it happened. She finally seemed so close to me.

“Hi,” I said to her nervously. She turned her gaze toward me.

“Hi,” she said to me as a response.

I tried to figure out what to say next.

“Can we be friends?” I asked her

IT MUST BE THAT HER PUPPETEER WANTED TO GET MOVING. WHAT A NUISANCE!

straightforwardly. I was still quite nervous though.

“Sure!” she said quite cheerfully. I sensed some friendliness in the way she said it.

“Really? Great! My name’s Damien.

What’s yours?” I wasted no time asking the most basic question you would ask when you met someone new.

“My name is Alexia. Nice to meet you,” she said. What a beautiful name.

“So, do you live around here? You just moved in, right? I had never seen you before.” I proceeded with my next questions.

“To answer your two questions, yes and yes. I’m wherever my puppeteer is.”

“Same goes for me too. Poor us,” I tried to crack some joke.

“Hahaha. Yes, poor us,” she seemed amused.

In the middle of that conversation, it seemed like Alexia’s legs were moving against her own will. It must be that her puppeteer wanted to get moving. What a nuisance!

“Sorry, Damien. It seems like I’ve got to go for now,” Alexia said politely.

“It’s okay. I’ll see you later, then,” I hinted toward my wish to keep seeing her.

“Okay!” she said before she smiled at me with her eyes closed. I thought I may have blushed seeing her smiling like that.

She then walked away with her puppeteer.

That day, I was the happiest I had ever been in my entire existence. I would love to talk to Alexia again soon. I thought it was a good start of something new. I thought it was a nice change of pace.

Few days later, I saw Alexia coming to me on her own. I saw her from a distance and I noticed that she no longer had her strings attached to her. What happened? I was rather curious.

“Hi, Alexia!” I said to her the moment she arrived and stood in front of me.

“Hi, Damien,” she smiled briefly. Then, she seemed rather upset while looking down.

“What’s wrong, Alexia?” I asked her curiously. She lifted her gaze and looked

SHORT STORY BREAK MY STRINGS

into my eyes.

“I’m leaving, Damien.”

“What?” I was shocked and disappointed.

“I had broken the strings attached to me. I am finally free now. So, I want to go somewhere far.”

“Alexia...” I was almost speechless.

“You know what, Damien? I would like to go with you but it seems to me that you still have your strings attached to you.

Too bad, Damien.”

“Alexia!” I screamed out to her.

“Goodbye, Damien,” Alexia said her goodbye to me before she turned around and took her leave.

“Wait for me, Alexia!” I tried to chase after her but it was futile. Every time I did so, my strings kept pulling me back again and again.

“I’m sorry, Damien,” she turned her head toward me briefly to say that before she continued walking away.

“Alexia!” I screamed out her name while helplessly watching her slowly fading away from my sight.

“Alexia! No!” For the first time in my long, lonely existence, I cried miserably.

After that, I became depressed for days but kept doing what my puppeteer made me do. Slowly, I was coming to the realisation that I could not forever be controlled like this. If I just stayed the way I was, I would never find my bliss. That was the conclusion I came to after days of being depressed.

So, there came a day where I finally hardened my resolve. I tried to break all the strings that were attached to me. After few attempts, I finally succeeded. All the strings had been broken.

“I did it!” I said proudly.

Finally, I was able to move on my own without anything holding me back. I was finally free. I left the house that had been my place to stay and the puppeteer that had been controlling me all this time.

With this newfound freedom, I decided that I was going to search for and unite with Alexia.

“Wait for me, Alexia. I’m coming for you.” I had a brief monologue before I took my leave.

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POEM KU INGIN BERJUANG

KU" INGIN" BERJUANG TEXT: ANI AZIZ ZAKARIA IMAGE: ANTONIO LITTERIO / WIKIPEDIA!

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Berikanku pen, untuk aku tulis kata-kata yang menaikkan semangat, atau sebuah kitab, dapatlah aku surahkan padamu, antara yang patut dan tidak patut.

Kekuasaanku akan meniup tirani menjadi debu, keangkuhanku akan mengecilkan hatihati penindas, yang memeras keringat buruh-buruh.

Berikanku apa-apa saja apa-apa saja, apa-apa saja.

sebenarnya maafkan aku, yang kukatakan adalah pembohongan semata-mata.

Aku sekarang terlentang lemah di tilam, sedang membilang cicak-cicak yang telah diam.

C Q

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