Issue 8 Respect Newsletter

Your Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Network Newsletter

Issue 8 LGBT History Month Edition - 2012

The Co-operative jumps an incredible 53 places in the Stonewall Workplace Equality Index Find out more on page 2

February is LGBT History Month Find out more on page 3

What is it all about?

Padraig shares his ‘Togo’ experience Find out more on page 5

Read Anna’s ‘Coming Out’ story Find out more on page 6

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Respect spends ‘Five Minutes’ with Steps

Winner

Find out more on page 11

Inside this issue: > Victoria puts the Spotlight on same sex parents > Respect is coming to Glasgow Pride > My Scene: Mattie gives us a tour of Liverpool > Chris gets in tune with the Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus > What is going on in your local LGBT community? > Your favourite things > ‘People in Pharmacy’ award success > Stewart supports his local LGBT community > An update from Usdaw > International Women’s Day update

Plus lots, lots more!

Please email “Respect” to anyone you think would enjoy reading it!

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Welcome to the eighth issue of the Respect newsletter

A note from the Chair….

Firstly, the Stonewall Workplace Equality Index result is a brilliant way to start the year. Please read the article to the right hand side of this page for more information and a further comment from me.

I would also like to take the opportunity to personally thank the many Respect members who have contributed for their significant contribution with supporting the business make the incredible leap in the index. Many people have given a substantial amount of their own time to make our entry as robust as possible. Thank you to you all.

Secondly, it is important for me to keep you updated with regards to the Steering Group changes that we informed you about in our winter 2011 newsletter and further email in January 2012. The deadline for you voting for an appointed or elected Steering Group was 31st January 2012. The votes are in and we will provide you with a further update and details of the next steps in a separate communication at the beginning of March 2012.

Membership of the network is still growing quickly which is great. I hope you all find something of interest in this newsletter and we encourage your feedback so it can continually get better and appeal to as many members as possible.

George Meudell Respect Chair george.meudell@co-operative.coop

A note from the Editor….

A big welcome to the 30 new Respect members who have joined since the last newsletter in December.

The Stonewall Index improvement is a fantastic achievement and is a testament to the hard work of lots of people. Lots of Respect members have played a huge part in pulling together our submission, great work everyone.

In this issue we have a first, thank you to Anna Hanson for contributing her ‘Coming Out’ story. Also, thank you to Victoria Cowley for your excellent ‘Spotlight On’ contribution and other support. Mattie Stephen, Padraig McGuiness and Stewart Livingstone as well as many others have also contributed to this edition - thank you to everyone who has given their time and for sharing your personal experiences.

I hope you enjoy reading the newsletter and I welcome all feedback and contributions!

Thomas Anderson Respect Communications Co-ordinator & Respect Editor thomas.anderson@co-operative.coop

Follow me on Twitter @thomasinmanc

If you support the Respect network and would like to receive a digital copy of this newsletter and updates on the LGBT activities and social events, why not join the network. You don’t have to be LGBT! Email respectLGBT@co-operative.coop

The Co-operative leaps 53 places in the Stonewall Workplace Equality Index The Co-operative has made an incredible leap in the ranks of the Stonewall Workplace Equality Index which grades private and public sector organisations across the UK on how well they are doing in their support of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) matters.

This year The Co-operative has climbed 53 places to be ranked 11th which places us firmly in the crucial list of “Top 100” nationwide employers.

Liz Bramley, Head of Employee Engagement and Diversity commented, “Every year, competition for a place in the Stonewall Workplace Equality Index gets fiercer with the benchmark for a placing getting tougher and more and more employers vying for a place. As in previous years, we are competing not only against private businesses across the UK but public sector bodies as well such as individual police forces, universities, charities and NHS Trusts. The Cooperative remains the only retailer to feature in the Top 100 and I am delighted that our collaborative efforts and the huge level of senior sponsorship and support we receive for our work have continued to improve our placing year on year.”

George Meudell, Sexual Orientation Diversity Champion and Chair of the Respect network commented, "Our improved score in the Index is a team effort on behalf of the entire Respect Network, the Diversity team, Membership, and the businesses working together to support LGBT issues. The sad fact is that some LGBT people in the workforce, and in their private lives, remain subject to abuse and that respect for people irrespective of their sexual orientation remains a challenge. I wish there were no requirement for an LGBT diversity agenda but we do not live in that kind of world. In the meantime, I remain proud of The Co-operative’s whole-hearted support of diversity and to the inclusion of all employees and proud that the business is committed to providing a space in work for all employees to be themselves, and to perform in their jobs, to the best of their abilities.”

The Co-operative also features as a case study for ‘Employee Policy’ in the official Stonewall index report.

It doesn’t end there…

Respect has once again been recognised as a Star As part of the Workplace Performer

Equality Index assessment process Stonewall recognises 'Star Performer Network Groups' - employee network groups which make an invaluable contribution to the experience of LGB staff in their organisation and beyond…and Respect is one of them.

In 2012 49 employee networks have been recognised as Star Performers. This is a great achievement for all of us!

Visit www.stonewall.org.uk for more info

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February is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Trans History Month

There are lots of events taking place around the UK in February so why not see what is taking place in your local area?

LGBT History Month takes place every year in February.

It celebrates the lives and achievements of the LGBT community.

// Significant events in recent British LGBT history: 1967 Male homosexuality is legalised in England and Wales 1970 First Gay pride march – “Gay Day” in Hyde Park, London 1973 The American Psychiatric Association removes homosexuality from its list of

// What do the colours of the Pride flag mean?

The pride flag is an internationally recognised symbol for gay unity.

Life Healing Sun Nature Art Spirit

mental illnesses 1980 Homosexuality legalised in Scotland 1982 Homosexuality legalised in Northern Ireland 1984 HIV virus identified and Chris Smith was the first MP to come out as gay while in office 1988 Section 28 becomes law making it illegal for any council or government body to “intentionally promote homosexuality” 1989 Stonewall founded in response to Section 28 1994 Age of consent for gay men reduced to 18 1999 Sex Discrimination (Gender Reassignment) Regulations passed making it illegal for Employers to discriminate against trans people A bomb exploded in the Admiral Duncan, a London gay pub – three people died 2000 Ban on lesbians and gays’ serving in the armed forces is lifted The age of consent for gay men reduced to 16 2002 Equal rights are granted to lesbian and gay couples applying for adoption 2003 Section 28 repealed, Employment Equality (Sexual Orientation) Regulations passed making it illegal for employers to discriminate against LGB people 2005 On 5th December, The Civil Partnership Act 2004 came into effect in the UK, allowing couples of the same sex to have legal recognition of their relationship // More info can be found at www.lgbthistorymonth.org.uk

Historic LGBT Icons The loss of a genius…

Alan Turing (1912 - 1954) Alan Turing’s life is a classic example of how LGBT people have made important contributions to society, and of how society’s prejudice towards them has often robbed them of a dignified and fulfilling personal life.

Turing was a British mathematician, logician and cryptographer. He is considered by many to be the father of modern computer science. He designed and built some of the earliest electronic, programmable, digital computers.

During the Second World War, Turing headed the classified mission at Bletchley Park to crack the Nazi’s Enigma machine code (which was used to send secret military messages). Many historians believe that breaking the Enigma code was central in bringing the war in Europe to an end.

In 1952, like many other gay men at that time, he was convicted of acts of gross indecency. He was given a choice between prison or a course of hormone therapy to reduce his libido. Turing chose the therapy, which resulted in bodily changes such as the development of breasts.

Turing was found dead in 1954, apparently after having eaten an apple laced with cyanide. Although the cause of death was ruled as suicide other theories, such as assassination due to his sexuality, have also been suggested. > Alan has his own Royal Mail stamp as part of ‘The Britons of Distinction’ rd programme – available to buy from 23 February 2012.

Language is wine upon the lips…Virginia Woolf (1882 – 1941) Virginia Woolf was an accomplished 20th century English novelist and one of the founders of the modernist movement.

She published nearly 500 essays and nine novels. Woolf had a number of close relationships with women. It is believed there was only one sexual relationship, which was with Vita Sackville-West, on whom she based the protagonist of her book “Orlando.” Sackville-West’s son described the novel as “the longest and most charming love letter in literature.”

Many of her works contain strong feminist themes, such as her essay “A Room of One’s Own” where she wrote, “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.”

After weighing down her pockets with stones, she drowned herself in the River Ouse.

She was thought to have been suffering from mental illness at the time of her death.

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The Respect network is an employee network and it is for you. Here we let you know what Respect members have been up to!

Chris gets in tune with the Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus In 2009, Chris Sarson visited the Brighton & Hove Pride event in Preston Park travelling down from Leicester and came across The Co-operative Zone with a Funeralcare stall supporting the local LGBT community.

Having been a Funeral Director for 26 years he was impressed with their engagement at the Pride event and congratulated them on their efforts. He took the opportunity to talk to the Manager on site, Sharon Mercer. As a result he ended up keeping in touch with her and then finally in November, relocating and starting a new role within The Co-operative Funeralcare in Brighton as a Funeral Director.

To date, Chris had worked mainly for family firms and was delighted to join an organisation which was so involved with the local community in which it is based in!

In 2011, The South East Co-operative Membership Team contacted the Brighton Funeralcare branch in an attempt to recruit staff for the 2011 float and parade entry which for the first time was in partnership with a local LGBT group – The Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus.

Chris alongside a few other members of staff volunteered their efforts to join the 2011 parade and attended the Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus rehearsals, learning the songs which would be performed and sung on the day. The chorus even gave a choreography workshop to learn the moves to “I am what I am“ which is the chorus’ signature tune since being on The Last Choir Standing on BBC1 in 2008.

Brighton & Hove Pride 2011 was an amazing day where The Co-operative showcased their committed to diversity and were ‘Buzzing with Pride’ alongside the chorus. Following the Pride celebrations – Chris was invited to a ‘Meet and Greet’ event with the chorus and since then it has been onwards and upwards!

The Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus is a registered charity and helps raise funds for the Sussex Beacon who provide care for people affected by HIV. Chris has been hugely supported by everyone at the chorus as well as from The South East Co-operative Membership Team and his Co-operative Funeralcare colleagues.

For more info visit www.brightongmc.org

// More member stories: It was recently the PIP ‘People in Pharmacy’ awards that celebrate the success and achievements of individuals and teams within The Co-operative Pharmacy As the third largest pharmacy chain in the UK, with nearly 800 branches and over 6,000 colleagues we’ve got a lot to be proud of.

Over the next few pages we bring you a few features from Respect members who work in Co-operative Pharmacy branches across the UK. Padraig McGuiness shares his ‘Togo’ experience with us on page 4 and Anna Hanson shares her ‘Coming Out’ experience on page 6.

Read more about the PIP awards and Respect member success on the night on page 10.

Respect member and Central Database & Supply Chain Programme Manager Susan Murphy (red dot on her beard) got well and trully into the charity spirit last November.

Susan, along with lots of other colleagues from her office (and thousands of other employees, friends and family) donned their Santa suits and took part in the annual 5k Santa Dash in Manchester on 27th November.

All monies raised from the event are donated to The Co-operatives Charity of the Year Mencap and Enable Scotland.

Well done Susan!

We want more of your stories and photos! Email them to us at respectLGBT@co-operative.coop and you could feature on this page! We can help you raise more money for charity!

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From Peacehaven to Togo

By Padraig McGuiness Branch Manager, Peacehaven The Co-operative Pharmacy

Last August, Peacehaven Co-operative Pharmacy branch manager and Respect member Padraig McGuiness accompanied The Co-operative Pharmacy’s Managing Director John Nuttall and UNICEF to the West African country of Togo to see the sanitation projects The Co-operative Pharmacy has been funding. This is Padraig’s journal of the trip…

They knew it wasn’t good, it wasn’t news to them, but they needed someone to point it out and explain what to do instead. They agreed to start building their own household latrines. If the chief is on board and realises the difference it can make to the health of the village, then we’ve helped people.

The next village, Wolute, had done that mapping exercise a few months ago.

The big difference there was that the chief was totally on the ball and he had education arranged, had a water pump for the village, and he was the first to take sanitation seriously and to build a latrine for every home.

// Touching down: Before we’d even touched the ground in Africa, I realised the trip wasn’t going to be what I expected. You think of the continent as a dry, burnt desert but even from the plane it was clear that Togo was lush, green and forested. It could even be the UK except there’s no infrastructure; only one road runs through the country and by the time you’re halfway up it’s a little more than a dirt track.

We flew into Lome, the capital city, before driving north to Kara, six hours north, bouncing along rutted roads in the back of a 4x4: they call it the Toga Massage.

The atmosphere was so different to Pangoura. It was clean and tidy and smart and felt so much more positive in every way. It was also the first place I used the latrine! I’d Googled ‘latrines’ at home to see what they were like, a little bit afraid I admit, and I was expecting foul smells because it’s an organic toilet but it was clean, tidy and private.

// Making a difference: The final village we visited had begun the sanitation project a year ago, and we saw the real long-term effects. The villagers were really, really proud of their latrines and told us what a big difference they made; not only to them and their children but to their animals, their pigs, chickens and goats.

We first got to see the sanitation programme that The Co-operative is sponsoring at work in a village called Pangoura. A village built of mud bricks in the middle of nowhere, with no access to water, sanitation, electricity, healthcare or education, it’s hard to say they were doing anything more than just living.

And they were all really young, which is common somewhere that suffers a high infant death rate.

By contrast not everything was perfect for the kids in the last village but there wasn’t the feeling of a cloud hanging over them. The kids were fit and healthy and they completely thrashed me at football. They were burning off energy, running rings around me and I was exhausted.

// Saving lives: Togo has taught me that you can throw money at a problem but it’s not as successful in the long term as the sustainable approach.

Give someone a fish and they’ll eat for a day, teach them how to fish and they’ll eat forever. Show them how to build a toilet and why it’s important and how to keep it clean and they’ll keep themselves healthy.

So far our efforts have helped thousands of people in Togo, and that’s magnificent. It’s a really unsexy thing to be involved in and I’m really proud that we’re doing it as healthcare providers.

Together with UNICEF we’re doing fantastic work because we’re stopping children from getting ill.

// Mapping the toilet: We met the people of the village and the chief and did the initial community mapping exercise where they draw their village on the sand. It’s quite good fun, everyone’s getting involved and drawing their own house, and then they’re asked to draw where they go to the toilet. For all of them it was literally a few steps from the front door. And you could walk around the village to see they weren’t lying.

The kids were running around having a laugh, full of energy, which wasn’t what we’d seen in the first village. When I’d visited them on my first full day in Togo I hadn’t realised what bad health the children were really in because they were just like the stereotype of children in Africa; swollen tummies, and generally listless and ill.

Do you have an experience you would like to share?

Email us at respectLGBT@co-operative.coop

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My ‘Coming Out’ Experience

By Anna Hanson Dispensing Technician The Co-operative Pharmacy

// Coming out to my family: Even in these days of openness and to some extent acceptance, coming out is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Being raised in a Christian household and not knowing whether I would have a family at the end of it or not was a real concern.

I always knew I wasn’t bothered for any of the boys I had met but it wasn’t until I was eighteen and found myself flirting with and trying to place myself where I knew a woman, ten years my elder and a lesbian, did I begin to consider where this was going. I can tell you it took some time until I had worked out what I was feeling about her and also that this was reciprocated.

I know some people say they have known from childhood that they are gay, but it had never crossed my mind until this encounter. I just thought I wasn’t interested at all. How wrong was I? As most people are when very happy and in love, you have trouble stopping talking about them and I am sure at the time I had no idea I was doing it, but I think her name must have come up many times. We started seeing each other and I met her family, but I still hadn’t said anything to my parents. I felt really bad because I was lying about where I was and what I was doing, which I had never had to do before.

I was at university at the time and I wanted to move from the family home to live with my girlfriend. I had talked to my family about moving near to university, but I couldn’t lie any more about where I was planning to move to.

I think a lot of it was about being young. You don’t think anything might harm you at the time and I didn’t really see what your parents gave to you and how much they cared.

I eventually plucked up sufficient courage one day and asked my parents to come into the living room, much to my mother’s irritation, as she was in the middle of making a cup of tea.

I was very stressed and had taken a long time to build up to this because I really didn’t know how they would react. I never remember them ever talking about gay people when I was young but I felt it was against their religion.

However, with them both looking at me wondering what I was going to say, I just spat it out.

I told them I wanted to go and live with my girlfriend and my mum got up and said, “I thought you were never going to get round to telling us. I was just in the middle of making a pot of tea!” To which I nearly fainted with relief, all the lying and the worry was gone. She came back in and sat down with her drink and told me they had known for ages, because I kept going on about this girl all the time and it was ok. They had talked about the situation and they would help me move in with her if that is what I wanted to do. I know I was very lucky that my family were so accepting, when so many of us have a lot harder time. Let’s hope as times change more and more of us can be accepted by the people we love, as I was.

“But as each and every one of us knows, this is one of the many times we have to go through the stress and worry of coming out.”

Every time we meet new people or start a new job we go through it again.

// Coming out at work: When I first started working for The Cooperative Pharmacy I had just come out of a six year relationship with my older woman.

Starting a new job and a new single life at the same time would never be easy, but I am sure my colleagues will tell you when I started I was much quieter than I am now. The first person I told was my manager; she was great helping me with the problems I was having at home and really made me feel I was in the right place.

After that went so well I talked to the small group of colleagues I worked with and who were very easy going and happy I had told them.

That just left the rest of the staff which I was a lot more worried about as I had heard them saying things about other people’s orientation (nothing malicious), but maybe luckily, that was taken out of my hands when I was overheard talking to someone I worked with closely.

Unbeknown to me she was very excited by this new piece of gossip she had overheard and that evening she then called other members of staff to spread this information. However everyone she told either already knew or weren’t stunned by the news. They just didn’t seem to understand why she thought this was so interesting to her.

After that I was able to be open about everything and they all accepted me for who I am.

// My introduction to Respect: My manager saw on the intranet that The Co-operative was participating in the Manchester Pride parade and she knew I would want to take part. She passed on all the info and I took part - that was three years ago.

I have taken part in The Co-operative’s entry every year since. I found out about the Respect network through participating in the pride parade and also through information on the intranet.

I receive the newsletters so find out about other events that the Respect network is putting on. The one I most enjoyed was the weekend away in the peak district, meeting new friends and doing something different.

// My next challenge: Now having just transferred to a new branch in a different area, settling in and wondering how my new colleges will react. I am presently trying to remember to use gender neutral pronouns when talking about ex’s and waiting for the right time to tell them, and ever hoping that they will accept me as my family and friends have done. I will do this when the time feels right for me.

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We have lots of Respect members that live in the Liverpool area. Respect member Mattie Stephen gives us a tour of his stomping ground.

A little introduction to Liverpool…

From the home of The Beatles to the gorgeous Albert Docks. The fantastic shopping and the place where the ‘’Scouse Brow’’ was founded as seen on the recent show ‘’Desperate Scousewives’’.

Liverpool has it all and a bit more. There are many LGBT networks within Liverpool that make one large LGBT community. From university networks to company networks and even standalone social groups, there is definitely a fantastic ray of support and community everywhere in Liverpool.

Liverpool’s gay community goes back to the 1940’s when the first gay district was made in Queens Square and was seen as the original gay quarter.

As Liverpool is currently the capital of culture, the city’s council constantly looks to promote and improve its gay scene, expanding its territory and also improving and renovating the area.

As part of the first phase of redevelopment, Liverpool was the first city in the UK to install street signage bearing the rainbow colored Gay pride flag on November 11th 2011. The signage identifies the city's Gay Quarter and is located on Stanley Street, Cumberland Street, Temple Lane, Eberle Street and Temple Street. // Find out more by visiting www.visitliverpool.com

// About Mattie:

I’m 22 and I work for The Co-operative Banking Group in our Skelmersdale office and Manchester buildings. I have worked for the company for over five years taking a small career break in between to travel the seas and work as a holiday rep for two summers. I have been back for two years now where I work as a Business Analyst for Operational Agility after moving from IT operations.

// The Party: Liverpool’s gay party scene is still expanding with new clubs opening all the time. One of Liverpool’s largest known gay clubs is Garlands. This is a gay club with a mixture of all people, straight, gay, bi, transgender. You name them, they are there! The club is a super club with three different areas’ inside it to suit your music tastes. Most Friday nights Student’s can enter for £5.00, non students enter for £10.00. Maybe Join the Facebook page to see what offers are occurring. Sometimes they have themed nights which you will have to be on the guest list for but can do that by sending them a Facebook message.

Find them at www.garlandsnightclub.com or search ‘’Garlands Liverpool’’.

If a super club is not your thing then you have other bars and mini clubs available from Heaven to Pink and even the famous Masquerades Bar and plenty more.

// Pride on the streets of the city. Will more cities follow suit?

// Something to eat: Liverpool is a great place to enjoy great food. Since the completion of the new L1 city centre more and more restaurants and bistros have appeared. A fantastic place is Bar Pesto located in L1. Serving mainly Pasta dishes, they also offer a wide variety of meat dishes to. And after you have had your meal definitely try one of their fantastic cocktails… the long island ice tea is not to be missed!!

Find them: Venue: Pesto, 14 Paradise Street, Liverpool L1 8JF. Tel: 0151-708 6353.

Email: liverpool@pestorestaurants.co.uk

// More information about Liverpool Pride can be found at www.liverpoolpride.co.uk

// PROUD to have Pride: Up until 2010, Liverpool was the largest British city to not hold a Pride festival. However on August 7th 2010, the city's first "Official" Pride festival (officially sponsored by Liverpool City Council and public authorities), attracted an audience of over 21,000. The festival took place around the city's Gay Quarter with stages on Dale Street, Exchange Flags, and North John Street, and a city centre march was held during the day. Organisers hailed the festivities a massive success and now plan to hold larger events in the future. At Liverpool Pride 2011, it was announced that visitor numbers had doubled to over 40,000.

Do you want us to feature your scene on this page?

Email us at respectLGBT@co-operative.coop

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Get ready Scotland……Respect is coming to Glasgow Pride 2012 Since joining the Respect Network almost a year ago, it was clear to me, as a proud Scotsman that not a lot was happening in Scotland! This was also identified by the Respect Network and by working collaboratively it was our mission to get an entry into an elusive Scottish Pride event.

So you all want to know when it’s happening, right?

The main event and parade will take place on Saturday 14th July, yet planning of the event is still in the early stages. If you are looking to get involved then please keep an eye out for details on future newsletters, where we will give you all the details. It is very early stages but to be added to our list of volunteers for the event email us at respectLGBT@co-operative.coop.

You can check out the Glasgow Pride website at www.prideglasgow.co.uk Looking forward to seeing you all there!

Stewart Livingstone Regional Respect Champion & Food Operations Trainer

Why is it elusive you might ask?

Well, Pride events in Scotland are very few and far between. The current Pride events are Pride Scotia (currently held in Edinburgh) and Glasgow Pride. The parade and festival have become an annual event, alternating between Edinburgh and Glasgow. Therefore we only have 1 pride event per year in Scotland.

// More from Stewart below!

This year’s Pride will be held in Glasgow and I’m delighted that we are getting involved. It is a first for our Respect Network to become involved in a Scottish Pride event and hopefully we can get an entry in Pride Scotia next year! (That is if we’re still alive after the apocalypse)

Stewart supports his local LGBT community On Friday 27th January I commenced my three day residential course which was run by the Equality Network in conjunction with LGBT Youth Scotland and Terrance Higgins Trust. The course was held in the gorgeous 4 star Barceló Royal Marine Hotel on the 18th hole of the Royal Golf Course in Troon, South Ayrshire.

There were 12 delegates on the course all from across Ayrshire who wanted to become more active on LGBT issues in the local area. The course taught us how to set up an LGBT group, how to campaign against homophobia and trans phobia. We also had a session on public speaking which was nerve racking for some!

Overall the weekend was an absolute success and everyone took something away from the weekend, including new friends.

Respect members share their ‘Favourite Guilty Pleasure Song’ Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I will survive’. The ultimate guilty pleasure!

Lizzie Ayton Healthcare Category Assistant The Co-operative Pharmacy // A big congrats on your recent engagement!

It has to be Kylie’s ‘Love at first sight’. It is also my ‘coming out’ song.

Matthew Thatcher Team Manager – The Co-operative Food

For me, personally, I have left enthusiastic about setting up a new group in East Ayrshire, where I live.

I feel that these groups make life easier for those that live in the small towns and villages. Their experiences of growing up as LGBT in small towns, with that small town mentality, can differ tremendously from those that live in the city. (I’m not saying for a minute that those that live in the city haven’t experienced any of what I describe, it’s just that there is a lot more support in a city than in a small town where some people do feel like ‘Daffyd – The only gay in the village’.)

LGBT rights in Scotland: The creation of the group comes at a very fitting time in the fight for LGBT rights in Scotland. The consultation for Same Sex Marriage was completed in 2011 which saw the biggest response to any consultation and on st the 1 February (the first day of LGBT History Month) the Scottish Parliament held an Equal Marriage reception which saw almost 400 people invited – the biggest reception in the history of the Scottish Parliament. It is predicted that in Scotland we will have marriage equality by the end of 2013.

// Celebrations in Parliament

I have set up a Facebook page for East Ayrshire LGBT where in the first day we saw over 100 people join! Feel free to look for us on Facebook and join; you don’t have to be in East Ayrshire or LGBT, for that matter, to show your support for Equality.

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In this edition, Respect member Victoria Cowley shares her experience of raising a child in a same sex relationship No matter gay, straight or bi……

If you are gay and have a child from a heterosexual relationship or if you are gay and plan on artificial insemination, adoption or fostering a child, should we or do we stop to think of where the child can go to for support? After carrying out some research there seems to be a lack of support groups for the children of gay parents, but a lot of groups for parents with gay children.

Stonewall carried out some research and focus groups of children with gay parents, between October 2009 – February 2010. The children and young people were aged 4-27 and were from all parts of England, Scotland and Wales. The report entitled “Different Families” (2010) focuses on how the children feel about their family, how other people interpret the family and how this affects the child’s experience at school.

The report is a useful source and makes interesting reading. It shows primary interviews of adolescents views, feelings and experiences from the outside world and internal matters they may be dealing with. It can also help adolescents understand they are not alone and that many people have the same issues regarding dealing with the direct and indirect consequences of having gay parents. The report showed that the children identified that many schools still don’t deal with homophobia appropriately.

All children need support in relation to bullying, but children that reside with gay parents face different challenges purely due to lack of education and discrimination from people. As a result this can lead to isolation from groups at school, confusion, victimisation, possible resentment towards there parents and malicious stereotyping like “oh so your mum is gay so that makes you gay!” When a child casually mentions I am been bullied, the most common response is ‘oh they are just jealous of you’, or ‘they will get fed up’ or ‘its just kids being kids,’ Children can only take so much before the consequences become apparent, a downward spiral in school work, poor communication, or even self harm may be a result of bullying.

>

I have a step- daughter myself who is 13 and I chatted at length with her to find out what kind of things she is facing with people at school or home knowing she has two mums. It was disgusting and shocking to hear some of the things that she has gone through. As a response her biological mother felt guilt “should I try and be straight,” “should I end my civil partnership in order to make life easier for our daughter.” My own feelings were ‘I wish there was a support group she could talk to. I know she has family but sometimes it’s best to speak to somebody from the outside.’

Through the extensive research I have done, it is clear there is no UK based support group for children with LGBT parents. The only support network for her was COLAGE (people with a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer parent) who are based in America. They have a penpal scheme set up so children with the same circumstances can talk to each other for support and share experiences.

Some useful websites & links www.colage.org - Support group for children with gay parents (based in America) but has a UK contact. www.supportline.org.uk/index.php - This page has loads of contact information www.stonewall.org.uk/media/current_releases/3966.asp Different Families Report

// About Victoria I work for Co-operative Electrical as a Customer Service Advisor. I have worked for The Co-operative since January 2011 and I have been a member of Respect since I started.

This is my first ‘Spotlight On’ contribution for the newsletter. I hope you find it informative and you learn something new. I plan to cover lots more subjects in future newsletters so watch this space!

Myth vs Fact

MYTH: Children raised by LGBT parents will not have proper male and female role models.

FACT: Children find role models in every environment with which they are involved. Most LGBT parents make sure that their children have consistent, positive contact with teachers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends and neighbours.

Positive role models come in many forms.

MYTH: The children of lesbian, gay or bisexual parents are more likely to become gay themselves.

FACT: The children of lesbian, gay and bisexual people are no more likely to become gay than the children of heterosexual parents. This is a fact supported by every psychological and sociological study to have examined the issue.

MYTH: Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people do not have children FACT: There are no official figures detailing the number of LGBT parents in Scotland. However, following research conducted by Beyond Barriers in 2002, we can estimate that approximately one in five LGBT people are parents, coparents or have children. Although many of these children were born when their parents were in a heterosexual relationship, the last decade has seen a sharp rise in the numbers of LGBT people (in particular lesbian and bisexual women) planning and forming families. Some people have described this period as the “gay-by boom”.

Is there a topic you would like us to put the ‘Spotlight’ on?

Email us at:

respectLGBT@co-operative.coop

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Being out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender at The Co-operative should not be a barrier to your career progression, success and enjoyment in your role.

The achievements of Respect members on this page reinforces this statement.

If this is not your experience and you require support, please see page 14 for full details about the support available.

There is lots of support available and if in doubt, email us at respectLGBT@co-operative.coop and we will point you in the right direction.

Useful development tools at your fingertips The Co-operative Group Ashridge virtual learning centre contains everything from learning guides to book reviews, management pocket books and economic trend data.

Please visit the site as it’s a great reference point to assist your personal continuous professional development journey.

Site: www.ashridge.org.uk/ashridge/vlrc.nsf Login: cooperativegroup Password: coglogin If for what ever reason you can’t view this and you would like to, please let us know.

It was a night of glitz and glamour – this year’s PIPs – The Co-operative Pharmacy ‘People In Pharmacy’ Awards – truly was a night to remember for many of our colleagues.

Held at The Point at Lancashire County Cricket Ground on 20th January, it was a chance to celebrate the achievements of many individuals and teams throughout The Co-operative Pharmacy for successes in 2011.

Amongst the winners and those shortlisted for the eleven prestigious awards were many Respect members. On this page we bring you some photographs from the night and details of the Respect member successes on the evening.

Left: Co-operator / Fundraiser of the Year ‘Peter McCarthy’ is pictured with Jim Glover - Mencap Chairman & Dr Pixie McKenna – Mencap Ambassador & Embarrassing Bodies expert.

Peter has also been recognised as a ‘Charity Hero’. The campaign was designed to identify ten outstanding colleagues from across our family of businesses, and invite them to attend the prestigious Captain’s Table Charity Ball last December. Over 500 colleagues were put forward!

Peter is a Regional Development Manager, managing 20 branches. He raised almost £12,000 for Mencap and Enable Scotland in 2011. See the autumn 2011 edition for more info.

Respect’s Communications Co-ordinator Thomas was shortlisted too! Respect’s very own Communications Co-ordinator Thomas Anderson was shortlisted for ‘Leader of the Year’ for his day job managing the Operational Support Team at Central Support. Up against some very tough competition, he lost out to the Superintendent Janice Perkins.

Thomas commented. “It was a shock to be shortlisted. It is a proud moment in my career and it was an honour to be shortlisted. It was a night I will not forget.”

Above: Branch Manager of the Year ‘Padraig McGuiness’ is pictured with Superintendent and ‘Leader of the Year’ Janice Perkins.

Padraig is the branch manager for The Co-operative Pharmacy in Peacehaven.

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After a break of almost ten years, Respect caught up with reformed pop super group Steps Over the five years they were together, Steps achieved 14 consecutive top 5 singles, 2 number one singles, 2 number one albums and a string of hits throughout Europe. The group has sold over 15 million records and 2 million concert tickets worldwide. Now they’re back and Respect spent some time with them.

How are you feeling about the reaction to your comeback?

It is all very bizarre. It wasn’t supposed to be a comeback. It was meant to just be like a school reunion. We agreed to support the release of the Ultimate Collection and to give respect to what we had achieved. Then the reunion TV show came on board as a good way to promote the album. It just became a monster. It is incredible.

The new Ultimate Collection album is doing incredibly well; did you have any expectations for how you expected that to go?

Steps member Ian ‘H’ Watkins (middle) came out to the world as gay in 2007. Here he shares his experience with Respect You came out as gay to the world just before your stint on Celebrity Big Brother. What was the reaction?

Before Big Brother I was out of the mainstream public eye having a successful career on stage. During this time I realised I knew who I was and I was proud of whom I was. I used Big Brother as my platform for coming out and I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The reaction from fans was fantastic and the letters I received really helped me. I received some beautiful letters about my coming out helping others do the same. I have kept them. It wasn’t really a shock to too many people though.

What message would you give to someone who is currently hiding their sexuality but wants to come out?

Everyone deals with it in their own time. Don’t be pressured.

Confide in someone you trust. The most important thing is you know who you are.

Do you think there is less pressure on hiding your sexuality for people in the spotlight, then say ten years ago?

The world has changed so much. It was harder to be yourself ten years ago. People like Joe McElderry and Harry from TOWIE are very brave. If I could go back to my original time in Steps I would have come out earlier. I know how much that would have helped other people.

What are you most proud of?

Me and my partner are about to start our journey to becoming parents. We will be having a child this year with a surrogate mother from California, USA. The process can be very controversial. It is very scary but we are very excited.

// Watch out for interviews with Heather Peace and Ben Cohen in future editions!

To be honest, these are tracks we thought everyone would have already. We thought we’d be lucky to get a top 20. The new album going straight to number one is beyond our expectations. The Spice Girls didn’t get to number one with their Greatest Hits. We did with both of ours. It’s all bonkers.

What can we expect from the tour in April?

We have just had the first planning meeting so it is at the early stages.

When we toured 15 year ago we set a precedent for big pop tours with bridges and walkways. We were always the biggest and best. What can be achieved now with special effects is amazing. We are getting lots of ideas from fans as this is definitely the fans tour. Let us know what your ideas by tweeting us on Twitter.

The new greatest hits album, The Ultimate Collection reached number one in the UK in October 2011.

Are there any plans for Steps to record a new album?

We have received offers to record new music. We all had individual things planned for 2012 that we have had to cancel.

We are all going to enjoy the tour then lets see what happens after that.

What about the Eurovision 2012 rumors?

We all love Eurovision. We have been asked so many times in the past about representing the UK. All I will say is watch this space!

What does Steps founder and pop producer Pete Waterman think of your comeback?

Pete has been in touch and he has given us his full blessing.

Pete is over the moon about our comeback.

What’s your favorite Steps song?

H: Deeper Shade of Blue. I love the video and it had some great remixes.

I auctioned off the latex costume years ago for charity.

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Connecting you to what is going on in the LGBT community.

Transgender Equality Training delivered by TREC: Tuesday 21st February, 2pm

- 4pm - Derwent Room, University House, Peel Campus, University of Salford, M5 4WT

Get fit, sporty and have fun Put on your running shoes and join the Stonewall Team for the Brighton th Marathon on Sunday 15 April 2012.

Stonewall have limited places for the Brighton Marathon 2012 available.

To ensure you get a place - sign up now!

The Stonewall Brighton Marathon team will support you with your training schedule and fundraising.

TREC’s training sessions have been developed to increase awareness and understanding of the trans diversity strand. Participants are introduced to key topics pertaining to trans people and their identities, communities and lives. To book a place, please contact: Harriet Morgan-Shami - Events Officer Email: h.morgan1@salford.ac.uk Tel: 0161 2959003

Sign up now by filling in an application form available at www.stonewall.org.uk/what_you_can_do.

Once you have completed it send it back to Maria-Anna Petrou at mariaanna.petrou@stonewall.org.uk. If you have any queries please call Maria-Anna on 0207 593 2294. // Stonewall 2011 marathon volunteers who raised an impressive £7,000.

For lots more info, please visit www.lgbtadoptfosterweek.org.uk Across the UK, agencies are looking for more adopters and foster carers from the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities, and they would love to tell you more about it at an event near you. At these events you can also hear from other LGBT people in your area who have formed families through adoption and fostering. You can learn about the children who need families, the process, and how adoption and fostering has changed people’s lives.

It’s International Women’s Day on 8th March www.internationalwomensday.com Annually on 8th March, thousands of events are held throughout the world to inspire women and celebrate achievements. A global web of rich and diverse local activity connects women from all around the world ranging from political rallies, business conferences, government activities and networking events through to local women's craft markets, theatrical performances, fashion parades and more.

Some of what is going on (see website above for more events): Inspirational Women : Changing the way the world does business Date & time: 1st March 2012 - 12.00 to 14.00 About: Join Karen Birch, Managing Director of 3rdi for lunch and an inspirational talk about her journey as an entrepreneur and why she set up her online magazine as a cooperative where the readers actually own the business.

Venue: Garvock House Hotel, Saint John's Drive, Dunfermline, K12 7TU, More info: www.forwardladies.com

360 Wisdom : Empowering Women Workshop th

Date & time: 4 March 2012 - 10.00 to 16.00 About: A day for you to take time-out to have some fun, reflect and take charge of your life.

Venue: The Old Courtroom, Brighton, BN1 More info: www.clairechidley.com/360-landing

Welsh Pride Exhibition

7th – 28th March 2012 Pier Head, Cardiff Bay, Cardiff, CF99 1NA A fascinating exhibition of the history of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in Wales.

The exhibition features the first Welsh LGBT timeline, biographies of many leading people who have influenced history and an audio presentation including poems, songs and readings.

Not to be missed.

For more info contact Norena Shopland by emailing norena@ecwales.org.uk or by calling 02920451868

Tune in to our friends at Gaydio Radio at www.gaydio.co.uk

Know of a local event or charity that could do with a bit of free publicity? Get them featured here! Email the details to us at:

respectLGBT@co-operative.coop

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Usdaw : Promoting equality and tackling discrimination Usdaw is the trade union that represents around 70,000 Cooperative staff. We offer advice and support to members with problems at work and offer free legal advice and representation. But Usdaw isn’t just there for when things go wrong at work. We have a strong commitment to promoting equality and tackling discrimination and we take positive steps to ensure we reach out to and involve LGBT workers.

We organise get togethers for our LGBT members, giving them the chance to find out more about their rights at work. Recent get togethers have looked at tackling bullying and harassment at work, biphobia and rights for same sex parents. The get togethers usually involve an overnight stay, giving our LBGT members the chance to socialise and relax.

Usdaw LGBT members have supported hundreds of local and national Pride festivals. We hand out leaflets, take part in the parades, run stalls and generally show that trade unions have something to offer LGBT workers.

Every one of our regions has an equality forum with reserved seats for LBGT members so we can be sure we are listening to and acting on their voices. We have a thriving network of LGBT members who find imaginative ways to reach out to LGBT workers who might not know about their rights and what Usdaw can offer them.

Snippets Snippets Snippets Snippets

Upstairs Downstairs to return with lesbian romance BBC period drama Upstairs Downstairs will feature a lesbian plot line when it returns this spring, one of the show’s writers has revealed. Emilia Fox will play Lady Portia Alresford, a former lover of Blanche Mottershead, portrayed by Alex Kingston, best known for her role as ER’s Elizabeth Corday. > Check your TV guide for up to date schedule times.

Well done to Respect member Helen Wattie who won our main World Aids Day raffle prize - two tickets to see Darren Hayes in concert on New Years eve!

Homophobic teacher struck off

A substitute teacher who verbally and physically abused his students, including using homophobic language, has been struck off, and is banned from teaching indefinitely.

A disciplinary panel heard that, whilst teaching at East Brighton College of Media Arts in 2003, Jason Gibbs used homophobic language towards his students, which included the words “poofs” and “batty boys”.

You can find out more at www.usdaw.org.uk Sharon Ainsworth National Officer, Usdaw

More news at www.gaystarnews.com

We would your contributions for future Respect newsletters!

We would like your restaurant, movie, theatre, music and book reviews. Been to a place you would like to tell everyone about? Seen something amazing that you want to share? Anything at all will be considered! Let us all know about it!

In every issue we would like to feature a place where a Respect member lives/knows well. We were thinking of including a summary of LGBT friendly bars and clubs, great places to eat and socialise as well as details on local events and places that mean something to you. We want to know about them! See page 7.

We set the theme and you tell us what your favourite is. We will then feature a selection of the responses in future Respect newsletters. This issues question is: What is your favourite summer holiday destination?

A bit of fun Hidden in the word search are eight LGBT related words.

The words are Respect, Pride, Equality, Trans, Civil, Diversity, LGBT, Stonewall and Homo.

Yes, you may have spotted that is nine words.

Email us the correct missing word and you will be put into our prize draw at the end of the year to win something rather special.

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Email your contributions, other ideas or questions to respectLGBT@co-operative.coop

Email entries to respectLGBT@co-operative.coop by 30th April 2012 One entry per Respect member (for each quiz)

// Issue 9 will be published in April 2012

Good luck!

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The Co-operative supports its LGBT colleagues.

Do you need support or would like further information?

“The Co-operative have made a commitment to providing a LGBT-friendly working environment” If this is not your experience, there is support available to you.

Support available to you includes: The Diversity Team The Diversity Team can offer advice about specific matters relating to issues in the workplace and point you in the right direction.

The Co-operative’s Head of Engagement and Diversity is Liz Bramley. The Co-operative Banking Group (new name for CFS) Diversity and Well-Being Manager is Sarah Emery (currently on maternity leave). Until her return please contact Amanda Dillon - HR Diversity & Well-Being Adviser.

• Co-operative employees can also contact the Diversity Team on 0161 246 3285.

• Co-operative Banking Group employees can contact the Diversity and Well Being Team for advice and support at wellbeing@cfs.coop.

Sexual Orientation Champion As well as heading up the Respect network, George Meudell can provide confidential support and guidance in relation to LGBT matters. Email George via george.meudell@co-operative.coop

AXA ICAS – The Co-operative’s Employee Assistance Programme This service is available 24 hours, and is completely confidential. Nothing will be reported back to the business, and they can help on a variety of issues from problems at home, to work conflicts, to legal and money advice.

This service is completely free of charge to all Group employees and anyone who lives in their household.

Their contact number is 0800 072 7072 and the web-site address is www.icasxtra.com. The username is coopgroup and the password is EAP07.

Other places to go for support: > Help and support for the transgendered community: www.beaumontsociety.org.uk > Help and support for the bisexual community: www.biphoria.org.uk

For confidential support you can also contact Respect.

Email us at

respectLGBT@co-operative.coop Other support available: • If you are able to speak to your line manager, that would be the preferred route (unless of course your line manager is the issue). Or alternatively, you can speak to your HR manager if this would be preferable.

• There is also a whistleblowing hotline called “Speak Up” which you can call on 0800 374199.

This is a freephone number, calls are handled externally and callers can remain anonymous, and are untraceable. Any HR related issues that come through the line are passed to the Diversity Team within The Co-operative.

> Help and support for the lesbian, gay and bisexual community: www.lgf.org.uk

Other support is also available, see online!

Email respectLGBT@co-operative.coop

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