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THE PROJECT’S S

a o n Ka oyd Ll ‘I’M NOT THE SAME PERSON I USED TO BE’

STAR POW ER HOLL Y

W WOM OOD REWR EN THE S ITING CRIPT TAKE THE REST TEST

FIND YOUR PERSONAL PATH TO CALM

AL FRESCO DINING

FLAVOUR-PACKED RECIPES & PLATTER INSPIRATION

Thenew HOW TO DISCOVER IT FOR YOURSELF

TURN BACK THE CLOCK

NEXT GEN ANTI-AGEING TREATMENTS STATE OF THE NATION

Your guide to 2020




WelcoW

e all make thousands of decisions in an average day, and naturally some are harder to settle on than others. With the big calls, I’m usually okay. I mean, yes, I’ll still discuss them ad nauseam with anyone who’ll listen – but my inner compass will usually point me in one clear direction. It’s the more mundane things that I’m likely to muck around on. You’ll often find me staring into the fridge or the wardrobe deeply pondering a dilemma of no consequence at all. In those situations, any result is a good one if it means I get to move on. Regardless of whether you’re prone to snap judgements or long ruminations, this year there are some important questions we’ll all need to answer. Not only will we elect the next government, but we’ll be asked our views on the legalisation of cannabis and the End of Life Choice Bill. There’s a lot to consider, so on page 30, we round up the key facts to contemplate before we go to the polls. This month we also take a look at some of the more heartwrenching decisions that life demands of us. We talk to a woman who walked away from an emotionally abusive relationship that she’d been trapped in for too long. We meet a Facebook executive with a terminal illness who must figure out how she spends the time she has left. Then there’s the Kiwi entrepreneur who upped sticks to Italy to pursue her dream of village life with a view of the Med; three very different real-life scenarios of taking a brave stand. If the passing of another year is making you wonder ‘where to next?’, then I hope you’ll find plenty of inspiration inside. Whether it’s changing careers or choosing an outfit... we’re here to help. There’s no question too big or too small.

Shiver me timbers! It’s all hands on deck as our team of swashbucklers get serious about 2020.

‘I hope you find plenty of inspiration inside. Whether it’s changing careers or choosing an outfit... we’re here to help’ 4 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020

Kanoa Lloyd and the team enjoy the sea, sand and sun for our cover shoot.

Above: Designer Archie uses his eye for detail to style our summer bag shoot. Left: Appleby Farms stopped by Bauer Media to let us taste test some ice cream.

Editor-in-Chief’s photograph Michael James Rooke Styling Sally-Ann Mullin for The Fashion Department Hair and makeup Chay Roberts Top and trousers Kate Sylvester

FROM THE EDITOR


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ON THE COVER 14 & 126 Al fresco dining: The perfect cheese platter; and plant-based deliciousness from Matt Preston 22 Kanoa: How The Project co-host has taken back control and why the future doesn’t faze her 30 State of the nation: Your guide to 2020 34 Star power: Hollywood women rewriting the script 38 Take the rest test: Find your personal path to calm 96 Turn back the clock: The new, non-invasive face of anti-ageing

UP FRONT 4 Editor’s letter 8 Behind the scenes 10 Community 18 The Hot List 21 Snap Chat: The Hits Breakfast radio show co-host Laura McGoldrick 44 Game of love: Meet New Zealand’s first Bachelorette 48 Yours, mine or ours? The thorny question of money and relationships 52 Living with the enemy: One woman’s experience of emotional abuse 56 20 tips to make this your best work year ever 60 Returning to work with cancer: a Facebook executive’s story

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February

Contents

22

Kanoa’s new anxiety-busting approach to life.


AT A GLANCE

142 A taste of rural Italy.

126 Full of taste and texture, Matt Preston’s veg meals.

Su er livin’ made easy 86

An eco-friendly urban chalet.

101 Summer in a bottle... ‘solar’ fragrances.

80

LIVING 65 Career News 67 Career Q&A with Catherine Bell of the Garden to Table Trust 70 Work that vibe: Keeping the summer feeling alive, nine-to-five 80 Vintage florals and baby blue: Two cool trends to try 82 Hot to handle: Six stylish bags 84 Fashion News 86 An eco-friendly urban chalet 92 Get the look: A green sanctuary 94 Home News 101 The new ‘tonal’ manicure trend 103 Miranda Kerr talks organic skincare 104 Shoe designer Kathryn Wilson shares her go-to beauty products 106 Beauty News 110 The low-down on diet plans 114 The dynamic duo behind online fitness platform Real Health NZ 116 Fertile ground: The future of IVF 120 Body News 122 Dr Lucy Hone on why planning is key to getting the life you want

Join us

134 Happy ever afters: Fairytale treat t ts 138 Food News t 142 Home away from home: Esc e to the Italian countryside 148 Travel Fashion: Italian flair 150 Travel News

We’d lov e to h e a r y o ur though t s . Faceboo Find us on k Ne x t Ma at: gazine N Z

Summer trend: Baby blue.

103

Miranda Kerr on taking her skincare range global.

LAST UP 152 Previews: Books and podcasts 156 Puzzles and stockists 157 Divorce Diaries 158 Horoscopes 159 Last Laugh 160 Backchat 162 NEXT Woman: Actress Grace Palmer FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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BEHIND THE SCENES

NEXT (ISSN 1170-3121) is subject to copyright in its entirety. The contents may not be reproduced in any form, either whole or in part, without the written permission of the publisher. All rights reserved in material accepted for publication, unless initially specified otherwise. All letters and other material forwarded to the magazine will be assumed intended for publication unless clearly labelled ‘Not for publication’. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of Bauer Media Group (NZ) LP. No responsibility is accepted for unsolicited material.

Editor-in-Chief Nicky Dewe Creative Director Louise Thomson Deputy Editor Phoebe Watt Chief Sub-Editor Michelle Joe Sub-Editor/writer Cassie Birrer Writer Monique McKenzie Designers Archie Blohm, Robyn Te Whata Digital Editor Karyn Henger Digital Producer Alex Blackwood Editorial Assistant Simone Momberg Beauty compiled by beautyheaven Makeup and Fragrance Editor Megan Bedford Hair Editor Phoebe Watt; 40+ Editor Tracy Davis; Digital Editor Erin Berryman Publisher Bauer Media Group (NZ) LP. Street address: ƒ—‡” ‡†‹ƒ ”‘—’ǥ Ϳ͜ ‡ŽŽ‡•Ž‡› –”‡‡– ‡•–ǥ —…Â?ŽƒÂ?†Ǥ ‘•–ƒŽ ƒ††”‡•• ÇĄ ”‹˜ƒ–‡ ƒ‰ Ϳ͸͝͡͸ǥ ‡ŽŽ‡•Ž‡› –”‡‡–ǥ —…Â?ŽƒÂ?† ͡͡ͺ͡

Chief Executive Officer Brendon Hill Managing Director Tanya Walshe General Manager Publishing Stuart Dick Editorial Director Sarah Henry Commercial Director Kaylene Hurley Commercial Brand Manager Karen Hill Direct Account Manager Bruna Licata Advertising Coordinator Erin Craig

It was all about a bright and glowing look for our February cover star Kanoa Lloyd. Here’s how to recreate her beachy vibe... GET HER LOOK 1 Morphe Lipstick in Fling, $16. 2 RMS Beauty Pressed Blush in Lost Angel, $40. 3 Inika Organics Brow Perfector, $52. 4 MAC Fluidline in Blacktrack, $44. 5 Bobbi Brown Intensive Skin Serum Foundation SPF25, $110.

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Š‘Â?‡ Č‹͜ͿČŒ ͚͜͞ ͸ͽͽ͚ǥ ‡Â?ƒ‹Ž Â?‡š–̝ „ƒ—‡”Â?‡†‹ƒǤ…‘ǤÂ?ÂœǤ —…Â?ŽƒÂ?† •—„•…”‹„‡”• ’Š‘Â?‡ Č‹͜ͿČŒ ͚͜͞ ͸ͽ͸͡Ǥ ˆ ‘—–•‹†‡ —…Â?ŽƒÂ?†ǥ ’Ž‡ƒ•‡ …ƒŽŽ –‘ŽŽ ˆ”‡‡ ‘Â? ͜͜͜͞ Č‹͜͜͜͞ ͟͸ͺ ͽͺ͟ČŒÇĄ ‡Â?ƒ‹Ž Â?ÂƒÂ‰Â•ÂŠÂ‘Â’ĚťÂ„ÂƒÂ—Â‡Â”Â?‡†‹ƒǤ…‘ǤÂ?Âœ ‘” ˜‹•‹– ™™™ǤÂ?ƒ‰•Š‘’Ǥ…‘ǤÂ?ÂœǤ ÂƒÂ‰Â•ÂŠÂ‘Â’ÇĄ ”‡‡’‘•– ͸͟͜͝ǥ ‘š ͸͜͡͞ͺǥ ‡Â?†‡”•‘Â?ÇĄ —…Â?ŽƒÂ?† ͜͟͜͝Ǣ Â‘Â”Â’Â‘Â”ÂƒÂ–Â‡Č€Â„Â—ÂŽÂ? •—„•…”‹’–‹‘Â? ‡Â?“—‹”‹‡•ǣ Â…Â‘Â”Â’Â‘Â”ÂƒÂ–Â‡Â•ĚťÂ„ÂƒÂ—Â‡Â”Â?‡†‹ƒǤ…‘ǤÂ?ÂœǤ —…Â?ŽƒÂ?†ǣ ‹”‡…– ……‘—Â?– ƒÂ?ƒ‰‡” ”—Â?ƒ Â‹Â…ÂƒÂ–ÂƒÇĄ ’Š Č‹͜ͿČŒ ͚͟͟ ͚͝͡͡ǥ ‡Â?ƒ‹Ž Â„ÂŽÂ‹Â…ÂƒÂ–ÂƒĚťÂ„ÂƒÂ—Â‡Â”Â?‡†‹ƒǤ…‘ǤÂ?ÂœǤ †˜‡”–‹•‹Â?‰ ‘‘”†‹Â?ƒ–‘” ”‹Â? Â”ÂƒÂ‹Â‰ÇĄ ’Š Č‹͜ͿČŒ ͚͜͞ ͽͺ͚͞ǥ ‡Â?ƒ‹Ž Â‡Â…Â”ÂƒÂ‹Â‰ĚťÂ„ÂƒÂ—Â‡Â”Â?‡†‹ƒǤ…‘ǤÂ?ÂœǤ ‘Â?Â?‡”…‹ƒŽ ”ƒÂ?† ƒÂ?ƒ‰‡” ƒ”‡Â? ‹ŽŽǥ ’Š Č‹͜ͿČŒ ͚͜͜ ͺ͸͞͡Ǥ Â—Â•Â–Â”ÂƒÂŽÂ‹ÂƒÇŁ

”‘—’ ƒŽ‡• ‹”‡…–‘” ƒ…Š‡Ž Â… ‡ƒÂ?ÇĄ ‡Â?ƒ‹Ž ”Â?…Ž‡ƒÂ?ĚťÂ„ÂƒÂ—Â‡Â”Â?‡†‹ƒǤ…‘Ǥ Â?ÂœǤ Žƒ••‹ˆ‹‡† ƒŽ‡• ƒÂ?ƒ‰‡” ‹Â? Šƒ’Â?ƒÂ?ÇĄ ’Š Č‹͜ͽČŒ ͝ͽ͞ ͚͟ͺ͟ǥ ‡Â?ƒ‹Ž Â…ÂŽÂƒÂ•Â•Â‹ÂˆÂ‹Â‡Â†Â•ĚťÂšÂ–Â”ÂƒǤ…‘ǤÂ?Âœ

Contributors Benjamin Alexander, Hazel Brooke, Deborah Hill Cone, Nicola Feeney, Christin Geweke, Claudia Hammond, Susan Hassmann, Radhika Holmstrom, Lucy Hone, Maria Hoyle, Angie Humphreys, Jane Kennelly, Katrina Keppie, Marissa Mullen, Sally-Ann Mullin, Matt Preston, Sarah Quigley, Susan Riley, Chay Roberts, Michael James Rooke, Mark Roper, Lisa Scott, David Solm, Sharon Stephenson, Melissa Williams-King, Yelda Yilmaz This magazine is subject to NZ Press Council procedures. A complaint must first be directed in writing to next@bauermedia.co.nz. If you’re not satisfied with the response, the complaint may be referred to the Press Council, PO Box 10-879, The Terrace, Wellington 6143. Or use the online complaint form at www.presscouncil.org.nz. Please include copies of the article and all correspondence with the publication.

Photographs Michael James Rooke and supplied

Summer scene

Production/Advert Coordinator Raewynn Cowie Printer Webstar Distribution Ovato Retail Distribution


Now sailing from Australia and New Zealand Queen Elizabeth will return to Australia and New Zealand for an unparalleled 118 days over the 2020-21 summer, headlining Cunard’s biggest season down under.

Tasmania and Southern Australia 6 nights 25 Nov - 1 Dec 2020

Q035

New Zealand Celebration 14 nights 22 Dec 2020 - 5 Jan 2021

Q101

Australia’s Gardening Journey 7 nights 1 - 8 Mar 2021

Q108

Sydney Melbourne

Auckland Melbourne

Adelaide Kangaroo Island

Melbourne Burnie

Burnie

Wellington Fiordland National Park

Christchurch Dunedin

Hobart

Inside fares from

Inside fares from

Inside fares from

$1,789

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$2,259

per person twin share*

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To book visit cunard.com, call 0800 543 431 or contact your travel agent. *Fares are cruise only, per person, in NZD, in complete twin accommodation, based on lead interior staterooms available at time of publication, inclusive of all discounts, taxes, fees, and port expenses (which are subject to change). Supplements apply for other stateroom categories. Cunard has set aside a reasonable number of staterooms which are available at these fares. Once this allocation is exhausted, fares may revert to a higher fare, but may also be discounted. Some Oceanview and Balcony staterooms may have an obstructed view. Valid for new bookings and not combinable with any other offer. All offers are subject to availability. To be read in conjunction with the Terms and Conditions at cunardline.com.au/legal which passengers will be bound by. Whilst all information is correct at the time of publication, offers are subject to change. Travel agents may charge additional fees - check with your travel agent. Please check with Cunard at the time of booking. Carnival plc trading as Cunard ABN 23 107 998 443.


A game

CHANGER Winning letter

KEEPING IT FRESH

hank you, thank you, thank you for your article ‘Breaking the M word taboo!’ Finally someone has been brave enough to discuss this very natural transition openly and honestly. I have been perimenopausal for two-and-a-half years now and up until recently was struggling with it daily. It was a bewildering and confusing time for me as my body and wellbeing changed dramatically in a very short time. I was happy and my life was really settled and going extremely well, then boom – all the symptoms seemed to hit at once! After a few months of this rollercoaster ride, I realised what was happening to me and decided to go the natural way. It was trial and error, and it took me a long time to find what works for me. I have changed my diet, and now walk my dog and do yoga regularly. I also take slow release black cohosh and hemp seed oil daily. All of these things manage my symptoms very well. Let’s keep the conversation going when it comes to menopause to help other women get through this life-changing stage.

T

D a

WRITE IN &

I’m writing to say that as I age, NEXT is one of the only magazines that stays relevant to me with its content, and that every time I read an issue I see a new truth or hear a new voice. As a mother of four, I don’t have the money to keep spending on items S TA N D I N G U P

10 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020

S arah

I loved reading the latest issue of NEXT and found most of the articles really interesting, but it was December’s ‘Soapbox’ article that really challenged me. Since March 15, we have been talking about racism and not sweeping it under the carpet, but sometimes it’s still really hard to stand up to it among your friends and family. There have been times where I have let racist comments go because I felt uncomfortable confronting it. Your advice to take the person to one side and talk to them privately and clarify what they were saying first is really crucial, as often we mishear or make assumptions. I also appreciated the suggestion to not directly call someone racist, but rather explain how what they are saying makes you feel uncomfortable. It makes sense to not make the issue personal, and call out the comments instead of the person. Thanks for this really helpful advice. I’m going to use it next time I hear casual racism.

Win!

Next month’s favourite reader letter will win a gorgeous prize pack from Linden Leaves Natural Skincare, valued at $320. Start the day knowing you have done something good for yourself and your skin with their gentle, nourishing skincare range. These beautiful products provide the natural benefits of organic white tea and nature’s own skin foods for beautiful, healthy skin. By simply custom blending the products together, they’re designed to work in harmony for any age or skin type. Think of the range as your skin’s new best friend. Now in a beautiful new look with recyclable packaging and bigger, better value sizes. Made with love in New Zealand. www.lindenleaves.com To enter the draw to win this great prize, email next@bauermedia.co.nz with your thoughts.

for myself including, sadly, your magazine, so often when I read them, I am behind by months or years and yet I can still find joy despite it not being the current issue. Thanks NEXT for keeping it engaging, fresh and interesting.

M.M


COMMUNITY

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Get more of NEXT… Keep up with what’s hot with the NEXT online newsletter, delivered to your inbox each fortnight with fresh stories about issues that New Zealand women care about. Plus, there are chances to win special gifts and treats! NEXTMAGAZINE.CO.NZ/SIGNUP

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Your NEXT Giveaway, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley Street, Auckland 1141, or go to nowtolove.co.nz, click on the ‘win’ tab and enter your unique code NXTGIVEAWAY0220. All entries must be received by February 29, 2020.

TERMS AND CONDITIONS: Information on how to enter forms part of these terms and conditions. Entry into this competition is deemed acceptance of these terms and conditions. Entry is open only to New Zealand residents. Employees of Bauer Media Group, all prize suppliers, and their affiliates, agencies and immediate families are ineligible to enter. All entries must be received between January 13, 2020 and February 29, 2020.The prize is a La Lupa – Ella handbag and Ortensia wallet/clutch. Skinsmiths: Soothing Mask; Gel Cleanser; Cleansing Cloths; Water Cleanser; Overnight Glow; Hydration Booster, Eye Concentrate; Hydrating Moisturiser; and Daily Defence Sunscreen. No responsibility is taken for lost, misdirected or incomplete entries. One entry per person.The prize is not transferable or redeemable for cash. By accepting the prize, the winner consents to the promoter using the winner’s details and photographs for promotional purposes. The promoter is Bauer Media Group, 90 Wellesley Street West, Auckland 1010.

12 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020

Photography Angie Humphreys / Bauer Media Studios Styling Archie Blohm

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PICTURE THIS

Say cheese

A New York stylist is the big fromage on social media with her guide to creating the perfect cheese plate. We share her show-stopping platters

P

remier cheese plate influencer. Yes, people, it’s a thing. Brooklyn-based Marissa Mullen is lucky enough to hold that title thanks to That Cheese Plate, her online community for fromage fans worldwide. Her Cheese by Numbers guide on Instagram (@cheesebynumbers) is a masterclass in elevating our ‘bring a plate’ offerings

RUSTIC CHARM The ‘English Countryside Plate’ includes St Cera cheese, gruyère, cured ham, vegetable chips, rosemary and lavender.

to an art form. With more than 300,000 followers, Marissa – who has a background in TV and music – shares her step-by-step guide to creating plates with pizazz. Currently working on her debut cookbook, The Cheese Plate That Will Change Your Life, if the platters featured here are anything to go by, we don’t doubt it will.


S TA R T U R N This offering inspired by astrology is the ‘Leo’ plate, a fire sign ruled by the sun, and features gouda, camembert and prosciutto.

THE FULL MONTY ‘Pre-Meal Feast’ is a sumptuous affair with sweet and savoury notes – gouda, blue cheese, cranberry cinnamon chèvre, salami, pecans, berry jam – it’s all here.

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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E A S Y, B R I E - S Y Summertime, and the livin’ is cheesy; the gorgeous ‘Summer Brunch’ features brie, gouda, salami and edible flowers.

SPRING ZING ‘Springtime Senses’ is a gloriously citrus-centric confection of cheddar, provolone, cucumber, walnuts, rosemary, thyme and flowers that is a feast for the eyes.

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PICTURE THIS

THYME’S ARROW

Photographs Marissa Mullen

The ‘Sagittarius’ plate features the archer symbol made of prosciutto plus mozzarella, radishes, herbs and sweet cherry tomatoes baked with fragrant thyme.

LOVE FEAST ‘The Bachelor Finale’ is the ultimate TV viewing platter that includes brie, boursin and mahon, plus salami and dragonfruit.

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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THE

HOT LIST

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THE E S SENTIAL READ... Austrian scholar Julia Ebner is a senior researcher at a counter-extremism think tank, monitoring radical groups. After going undercover and infiltrating a dozen extremist groups, Julia presents her findings in Going Dark, a confrontational and terrifying read. Bloomsbury; $44.

T H E C O N V E R S AT I O N . . . Booker Prize winner Margaret Atwood returns to New Zealand shores – Wellington, Auckland and Christchurch – from February 10 to 12, to celebrate last year’s global publication of The Testaments, her highly anticipated sequel to the 1985 classic The Handmaid’s Tale. An evening not to be missed. margaretatwoodlive.co.nz

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Look no further than our edit of the top 10 things to love, objects to desire and everything in between

THE EXHIBITION... The acclaimed world-class Wildlife Photographer of the Year opens on February 21 at the Auckland Museum, on loan from the Natural History Museum in Londo on. Free to view with museum entr this co ompetition has been running ore than 50 years and attracts for mo the best photographers p and naturalists from arround the globe.

4 THE FAMILY GATHERING... There’s infinite fun to be had at Splore, a three-day music and arts dress-up party held on the shores of Tapapakanga Regional Park, 72km south-east of Auckland. The theme of this year’s festival, from February 21 to 23, is ‘Infinity’. What does that mean, you wonder? It’s open to your imagination, interpretation and ingenuity, but prepare for a carnival of fun and colour. splore.net

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IN THE KNOW

T H E F E S T I VA L . . . When it comes to the arts, Wellington will be the place to be from February 21 to March 15. This year’s guest curators are Samoan director and artist Lemi Ponifasio; multi-talented New York avant-garde artist Laurie Anderson; and Oscar-winning musician, comedian and local hero Bret McKenzie. With over 100 arts performances, including Laurie’s free screening of her cinematic essay Heart of a Dog, there will be something for everyone. festival.nz

THE GIRL POWER F I L M S . . . The latest offering in the DC Comics extended universe is Birds of Prey, in which Margot Robbie reprises her Suicide Squad Harley Quinn role to take on Gotham City crimelord Black Mask. Screens from February 6. Emma, the fifth film adaptation of Jane Austen’s 1815 classic about a misguided matchmaker stars Anya TaylorJoy in the titular role, with a screenplay adapted by Kiwi author Eleanor Catton. It will be in cinemas from February 13.

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T H E G A R D E N P A R T Y. . . The Hamilton Gardens Arts Festival from February 19 to March 1 is shaping up to be an epic event, with something to cater for all tastes – from opera and immersive theatre to K-Pop. The country’s elder statesman of acting, Michael Hurst, will perform his solo tour-de-force, An Iliad, with a live music accompaniment from Shayne P Carter; The New Zealand Dance company This Fragile Planet; and two of the p y performs p finest South Island troubadours, Nadia Reid and Delaney Davidso on, will perform. hgaf.co.nz

Words Michelle Joe Photographs Getty Images and supplied

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THE TREND... Described as The Little Mermaid meets high fashion, ex xpect to see netting details sw weeping into stores this summer. We’re not sure about the everyday W weearability of the offerings from arrchitect-turned-designer Virgil Ab bloh’s spring/summer Off-White co ollection, but can appreciate th he ventilation.

T H E C R U I S E . . . All aboard for Cunard’s inaugural i seven-night gardening voyage! The Queen Elizaabethh departs Sydney from March 1, journeying through Sou uthern Australia waters in the company of a host of renowned horticu ultural experts, such as celebrated landscape designer Jamie Durie, Graham Ross, Indira Naidoo and Angus Stewart. The green-fingerred programme ways of cooking on the sumptuous art deco vessel includes inspired w from your garden, garden craft workshops and the opportunity o to book visits to beautiful gardens in Hobart and Melbourne. Visit cunard.com or call 0800 543 431.

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THE SHADE... Looking for a way to add more calm to your life in 2020? Try colour therapy in the form of the Pantone Colour of the Year. Classic Blue, aka ‘anti-anxiety’ blue, is a restful shade, evocative of a mid-sea blue or the sky at dusk. It’s an easy way to embrace a little blue sky thinking in the new year.

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Health

Parenting

Celebrity

Lifestyle .C O . N Z

New Zealand’s largest women’s lifestyle website


SNAPCHAT

A great sport LAURA MCGOLDRICK

BROADCASTER AND RADIO HOST

The co-host of The Hits Breakfast show reveals what her week looks like, who her style icon is and her top three pieces of advice MY FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK IS…

IF I COULD LIVE OFF ONE FOOD, IT WOULD BE…

Friday, obviously.

Sushi. MY TYPICAL WEEK… I am very lucky to work on The Hits Breakfast show with my two besties, Toni Street and Sam Wallace. After an early start I find exercise is important – I love F45 and go five or six times a week. During the day, between TV work and MC gigs, I try to spend as much time as I can with my baby girl Harley, who has just turned two. She’s my other bestie! In the evening, my hubby and I love to watch Netflix and chill.

I WOULD DESCRIBE MY STYLE AS...

Ever changing!

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

MY ADVICE TO MY YOUNGER SELF IS… Don’t sweat the small stuff! THE CITY I’D LOVE TO LIVE IN IS… New York.

THE WEBSITES I CHECK EVERY DAY ARE… Daily Mail (my fave),

TOP OF MY BUCKET LIST IS… Travelling to South Africa and more of the US, like Texas and Memphis.

MY LAST SUPPER MEAL WOULD BE… Anything my mum makes.

MY #1 HEROINE IS… My mum. Selfless, beautiful, smart and brilliant. Always puts her family first.

I have my daughter to thank for this – Moana.

you imagine the stories?

Most of the songs we play on the Hits make me want to dance, but a little of Abba’s Dancing Queen always gets the party started.

NZ Herald, and maybe the odd shopping website.

THE MOVIE I’VE WATCHED THE MOST IN MY LIFE IS…

THE PERSON I’D MOST LOVE TO INTERVIEW IS… The Queen. Could

THE SONG THAT ALWAYS MAKES ME WANT TO DANCE IS…

IF I COULD RAID ONE PERSON’S WARDROBE, IT WOULD BE…

Victoria Beckham, especially now she’s doing cool sneakers and trackpants.

COCKTAIL OF CHOICE? Mojito. MY STYLE ICON IS… Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

THE TOP THREE BEST PIECES OF ADVICE I’VE EVER BEEN GIVEN ARE… Your mistakes do not define you. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Trust your gut. FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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GOING WITH

w o l f e th

The past year has thrown a few big curveballs at Kanoa Lloyd. She talks to Phoebe Watt about her new approach to handling her anxiety and taking things as they come

S

ummer looks good on Kanoa Lloyd. I mean, everything looks good on Kanoa Lloyd. But you get the sense that if she could spend the rest of her days in togs, jandals and billowy shirts, chasing her salty, sandy, boisterous dog Brown down the beach, she would. Even with no ocean views to speak of – say, at a central Auckland café a stone’s throw from the television studio where she co-hosts Three’s The Project five nights a week – she’ll find a patch of sun and be instantly in her happy place. At our interview, she shows up wearing a white dress, a huge smile, and little hint of the anxiety that has crippled her in the past. “I think it comes down to having built a solid enough foundation that I’m not rocked by the

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COVER STORY

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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COVER STORY

Below: Kanoa with The Project co-presenters Jesse Mulligan and Jeremy Corbett and, right, with regular guest host Paddy Gower.

unexpected,” says the 33-year-old, reflecting on the progress she’s made in managing her mental health. When we spoke a year ago, she was all about identifying the things that would help her get back on track after an anxious episode. “Now I’m more focused on what I need to do to be on track all the time, so that change isn’t derailing, it’s just a fork in the road and I’m in charge of deciding which way to go.” It occurs that this progress was achieved just in time. In October, Kanoa was among the 500-plus MediaWorks employees to learn – allegedly just six minutes before the general public – that the cash-strapped media company was putting its TV arm up for sale. With no interested buyers to speak of, and rumours then-circulating that the network could be closed by Christmas, joblessness was a real possibility. The old Kanoa might’ve spiralled into a panic at the prospect. “But when the news came through, I was just like, ‘Okay, I guess this is what we’re dealing with now!’”

Optimistic thinking

A

t the time of our interview, MediaWorks’s future is still up in the air, but ‘business as usual’ is Three’s party line. Naturally, there’s still a sense that for Kanoa and her colleagues, the rug could be swept out from underneath at any moment. But compared to the storms they’ve weathered together in the past, she says the current situation has been “the opposite of stressful”. “People were surprised, of course, but there’s a real feeling of optimism. You have to remember that change is intrinsic to the industry we work in. I’ve gone from children’s TV presenter, to music presenter, to weather presenter, to hosting the 7pm show, and there’s no way I could’ve predicted at any point what the next thing was going to be. I kind of just rolled with it. So I don’t want to say that I’m blasé about what happens next, but I’ve had so many new

opportunities thrust upon me throughout my career, and they’ve all turned out so amazingly that however it unfolds, the future doesn’t scare me.” As always, a key player in alleviating her fears is husband of three years, Mikee Carpinter. In the immediate aftermath of the MediaWorks announcement, Kanoa phoned him and they locked in a plan to unpack the news over dinner that evening. “He’s really sensitive to scenarios that might trigger my anxiety, and so in that instance was probably quite concerned about how I would handle it. But I wasn’t drinking at the time, and as much as I hate to admit it, that makes a huge difference,” she says. Yoga continues to be another major anxiety alleviator, and resigned, at last, to the fact that she needs to start prioritising her physical health as much as her mental health, she’s added sweating it out on the exercise bike to the mix. “In your 30s you don’t get much of that natural cardio, you’ve actually got to try!” she laughs, explaining her exercise hack of circuit training while watching TV. “So I’ll go at a steady pace while each segment is on, and cycle my ass off through the ad break.” Back to her brain for a minute, because this cardcarrying therapy convert is on her soap-box now. “I know I’m constantly harping on about it”, she says, “but if I can do anything from this privileged spot that I am in, let it be destigmatising that kind of care.” There’s no doubt it’s been a game-changer for her, helping her to establish constructive coping mechanisms, and to cut down on the negative selftalk. “Therapy has made me a lot less judgemental of myself when I’m in that anxious state,” she says. “Previously I might’ve been like, ‘Why are you worried about this? You’re worrying too much’,

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COVER STORY

and gotten even more worked up. I’ve since learned that my anxious voice isn’t something to shut down or berate, it’s more something to check in with. So instead I’m asking myself, ‘Are you all right? What can we do about this?’ It’s not that nothing fazes me, I’m not a robot. I’m definitely a lot more peaceful though, and perhaps that comes down to having much more perspective than I used to. And it’s been hard-earned, but I can use that to not panic.”

In her thoughts

I

f part of that perspective comes from on-the-job exposure to real-world tragedies, then 2019 over-delivered. The last two months of the year alone brought the Grace Millane trial, the measles outbreak in Samoa, and the Whakaari/ White Island eruption. Before all of this came the Christchurch terror attacks. “Sometimes that feels like a lifetime ago, and at other times it’s like it’s been a split second,” she says of the devastating events of March 15. Travelling down to the shell-shocked city the following day, Kanoa and a satellite crew spent the week meeting and interviewing dozens of those directly impacted, relaying their stories each night to a confused and grieving nation. No matter that she frequently has Hollywood A-listers on the other end of her microphone, ask Kanoa who tops her ‘most inspirational’ list for 2019 and there’s no contest. “The reality of what those victims and their families have had to deal with is beyond what most people can even fathom,” she says. “There’s one woman in particular who I’ve kept in touch with. She lost both

A day with Kanoa

‘THE REALITY OF WHAT THOSE VICTIMS AND THEIR FAMILIES HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH IS BEYOND WHAT MOST PEOPLE CAN EVEN FATHOM’ her husband and her son and even in just a practical sense, the fallout of that has been immense. Her household income is gone, she’s had to learn to drive… I’m actually conscious of not wanting to impose all the time and have her think she needs to give me a comment for a story or whatever. But she’s always in my thoughts.”

Moving forward

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t’s an occupational hazard, apparently, becoming somewhat emotionally invested in the people you meet on the job. “We’re not putting together a six o’clock news bulletin or a front page, so there’s space to lead with the heart and be a human first.” Understandably, this takes its toll at times. Thankfully, news environments are evolving, and steely, hard-nosed journalism is no longer an expectation. Back in the day, says Kanoa, being a ghoulish newshound might’ve earned young reporters their stripes, but now it’s perfectly acceptable to tap out of a story that pushes your buttons. “You don’t need to be tough and charge through it, you don’t even need to justify it. You can say, ‘This is a yucky one for me’, and that’s okay.

Clockwise: With co-host Jesse Mulligan at the VNZMAs; with husband Mikee Carpinter in Noosa, Australia; on the set of The Project; lunching with Josh Thomson and Dai Henwood; a beach day with Mikee and dog Brown; playing favourites with David Duchovny; photobooth snaps with Jesse Mulligan; celebrating The Project's first birthday.

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COVER STORY

Photographs Michael James Rooke Creative director Louise Thomson Stylist Sally-Ann Mullin for The Fashion Department Hair and makeup Chay Roberts Kanoa wears page 23 and 27 Shirt Rachel Mills Skirt Camilla and Marc Earrings Witchery Page 24 and 28 Dress Kate Sylvester Earrings Anoushka Van Rijn Bracelet Lovisa

‘IT’S EMBOLDENED ME TO HAVE SOME UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS AND THAT’S ONLY GOING TO MOVE THINGS FORWARD’ I have the utmost respect for journalists who do go into those hard situations, but it’s fine to come at this job with whatever tools you do have, and if your tools are that you’re actually a bit of a soppy bleeding heart, that has value as well.” Not just a catalyst for change within the media industry, events like Christchurch obviously have a deep and important impact on the national psyche – something that Kanoa has witnessed in her daily dealings with ordinary Kiwis. “I think all of us are on the lookout for opportunities to be more inclusive,” she says. “It’s not on your mind all the time, but it’s become a bigger part of the fabric of what we do.” The other side of the coin is that we’re more sensitive to exclusion. “And that’s not a pretty pair of glasses to have on,” says Kanoa. “But it’s emboldened me to have some uncomfortable conversations, and that’s only going to move things forward”. Kanoa’s referring specifically to an event she attended recently, where she noticed she was the only non-Caucasian speaker on a half-day programme. “It was a really amazing day and an honour to be there, but I remember thinking, ‘Could this look a bit different next year?’ So afterwards I emailed the event organiser and said as much, and I provided a list of names for her to think about getting in touch with next time. She was so receptive to that and really understanding. And it wouldn’t have been an email I’d have sent a year before because I don’t think I could’ve counted on getting that response.”

It’s safe to say we’re a different New Zealand than the one we were in 12 months ago. And with much on the agenda for 2020 – including the End of Life Choice Bill, the cannabis referendum, and a general election – even more change is afoot. For Kanoa and her team, it’ll make for an interesting year ahead. “Some of the discussions we’ve already started to have with academics and experts on those subjects have been really eye-opening,” she says, adding that the nice part about her role is that she doesn’t need to have formed an opinion one way or the other. “In fact, it’s better if I don’t, and I just talk to people and get a sense of what they’re feeling.” Indecisive by nature, she’s interested in all perspectives. “But obviously I take everything with a pinch of salt. I’m really aware that in our format it’s just small conversations that we’re having, so I never think I’ve learned everything that I need to know on a subject. I just have a lot of great barbecue chat for the summer!”

One wave at a time

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s for what the new year holds on a personal level? Beyond getting her full driver’s licence (“it’s embarrassing, but an adult I am not!”), she isn’t putting pressure on herself to achieve anything in particular. “I think because my work has afforded me so many fortuitous moments, I’m not an especially goal-driven person. My MO is to just show up, do my best, be nice to people and stay open for anything. Some people are adrenaline junkies and all about chasing the next high, but I’m very content to take things as they come.” She’s momentarily apologetic, realising it’s not the go-getting, ceiling-smashing, ultra-motivational quote that I was probably wanting to finish on. But true to the new and improved Kanoa, the moment passes quickly. “I was going to say it’s not very inspirational,” she begins, “but maybe there’s something to be said for not looking too far ahead. Being too focused on the next thing is a sure-fire way to be dissatisfied – and anxious. So at this time in my life, I’m really happy to just chill.”

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ISSUES

I N

2020

F O C U S

Was last year good for you? Focusing on the matters that concern New Zealanders most, Sharon Stephenson looks at what has changed and what is coming up for our country this year

ast your mind back to 2000 when we thought wireless was another word for radio and only birds tweeted. Roll the clock forward and we’re now into the third decade of the 21st century. And while many predictions of what we’d all be doing in w 2020 – teleporting and visiting Mars – haven’t come to pass, there’s no doubt the first year of the 2020s is going to be a big one. Not only globally (US election, anyone?), but also here in Aotearoa where we’re facing what some are calling Super Election w Saturday and road-bumps in our economy, education and environmental sectors. Here’s what should be on your radar in 2020.

C

General election Later this year, we’ll be heading to the polls to vote in the next government. By law, the latest date the next election can take place is November 21, 2020. In reality, experts say it’s likely to be much earlier, mainly due to the practical reason of having to form a government before the Christmas break. That means the timing will probably sit somewhere in the six-week period from mid-September to early November. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has indicated she will follow the practice restored by Sir John Key w of naming the election date early in the year, rather than keeping it a secret, as has been done in the past.

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Health One of the biggest health issues currently facing New Zealand is the measles outbreak. According to the Ministry of Health, from January 1 to September 3, 2019 there were 975 confirmed cases of measles notified across New Zealand, with 812 in the Auckland region (and more in the Pacific, believed to have been transmitted there from New Zealand). There have been calls from the medical community, including former New Zealander of the Year, Dr Lance O’Sullivan, for legislation to increase vaccination rates, as well as studies which showed legislation had worked successfully in places like California. However, the government has said it prefers educational campaigns. This year the battle against the disease, and the increasingly heated debate between those for and those against vaccinating their children, looks set to intensify.

Envirоment

With cross-political party support, the passing of the Zero Carbon Act late last year signalled that Kiwi politicians are taking climate change seriously. The Act will commit New Zealand to zero carbon by 2050 or sooner and reducing methane emissions by between 24 and 47% by 2050, targets intended to keep global warming to within 1.5C by 2050. The Act also created a new body, the Climate Change Commission, which will set emission reduction budgets for the government (although it will be up to politicians to figure out how to meet them). They’ll also need to sell those plans to the public, so expect lots of discussion and public engagement this year. And possibly even more student climate change marches.

THE ACT WILL COMMIT NEW ZEALAND TO ZERO CARBON BY 2050 OR SOONER

Ecо y

Cannabis referendum This is a non-binding referendum about whether or not New Zealand should legalise the personal use of cannabis. This follows the 2017 Confidence and Supply Agreement between the Labour and Green parties which committed the government to “a referendum on legalising the personal use of cannabis”. This will include legalising the personal use and purchase at age 20, only allowing sales at licensed premises (no online sales), only allowing consumption at licensed premises or private property,

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Buckle in, say experts, because the global economy is in for a rough ride this year. The UN has warned that weaker growth in both advanced and developing countries means the possibility of a global recession is a “clear and present danger” in 2020. That’s down to 2019’s weak economic expansion, said to be one of the worst in a decade, along with issues such as the US trade war with China, currency gyrations, uncertainty about Brexit and movements in long-term interest rates. Closer to home, the news isn’t much better. Westpac economist Dominick Stephens wrote that New Zealand was “locked in a cycle of economic growth driven by ever-lower interest rates, causing ever-higher asset prices, facilitated by ever-increasing household debt”. This cycle, he said, can’t last forever “and when it ends, things could turn ugly”.

allowing limited home growing and banning all advertising of cannabis products. Regulation of the potency of cannabis products is also proposed. Justice Minister Andrew Little has promised voters will be asked a simple ‘Yes/No’ question regarding the full regulation of recreational cannabis. Polls by those on either side of the debate show varying degrees of support: a Curia poll commissioned by Family First found just 18% of respondents supported

THIS WILL INCLUDE LEGALISING THE PERSONAL USE “lifting restrictions” on cannabis for recreational use while an earlier poll by the same company commissioned by the NZ Drug Foundation showed 65% support for legalising/decriminalising cannabis for personal use.


ISSUES

Education Got school-age kids? They – and you – could be ơ ǯ ͙͡͠͡Ǥ ǡ ǡ Ǯ ǯ ǡ Ǥ Ǯ ǯ ǡ ȋ ǯ Ƥ Ȍǡ ǡ Ǥ Ǥ

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NEW ZEALAND AND CANADA HAVE TWO OF THE MOST UNSUSTAINABLE HOUSING MARKETS IN THE WORLD

End of Life Choice Bill Ƥ ͚͚͘͘ ǡ Ǥ ǯ ͙͠ ơ ǡ Ǥ ǡ ͞͡ ͙͝ Ƥ ǡ Ƥ Ǥ ͛͡ǡ͘​͘​͘ ǡ Ǥ

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They may not be instantly recognisable yet, but these extraordinary female talents are A-listers in the making. Keep an eye out for them this awards season and beyond BY PHOEBE WATT

Ones to

WATCH


CELEB

S

ummer in the southern hemisphere might be synonymous with salt, sand and sunburn, but there’s something else that happens at the start of every year that our staffroom small talk wouldn’t be the same without, and that’s awards season. Kicking off with the Golden Globes in early January and wrapping up with the Oscars on February 9, the month in between provides a near-constant spectacle of red-carpet hits, a fair few misses, upsets, controversies, and if recent years are anything to go by, a decent amount of politicking. While all of this is going on, it’s easy to forget the reason for the awards in the first place, which is to celebrate those in the film and TV industry who have made outstanding contributions to the craft in the year just been. To say nothing of female directors like Greta Gerwig (Little Women), Lorene Scafaria (Hustlers) and Lulu Wang (The Farewell) who, despite some eyebrow raising snubs in certain awards categories, are winning over audiences for their tireless championing of women’s stories, the pool of fresh, female acting and writing talent coming through is nothing short of phenomenal. This season, the red carpets will still be replete with the regular Renée Zellwegers and your Cate Blanchetts, but keep an eye out, too, for the women we’ve tipped to make it big in 2020…

‘The female talent coming through is phenomenal’

FLORENCE PUGH Where you’ve seen her: The current buzz surrounding this 24-year-old English actress comes down to her performance in Greta Gerwig’s Little Women, for which her characterisation of Amy March was widely regarded as a standout. It capped off a meteoric year for Florence, who was similarly praised for her starring roles in wrestling biopic Fighting With My Family and the indie-horror hit Midsommar.

What she’s doing next: Having already been compared to a young Kate Winslet, few would be surprised to see Florence follow in her fellow countrywoman’s footsteps and enjoy a long and accolade-filled career. Whether or not 2020 delivers on the awards front, it certainly will film-wise. Watch out for her in Black Widow, the female-focused, female-driven Marvel spin-off, featuring Scarlett Johanssen as the titular character.

PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE

Where you’ve seen her: Lauded as one of the most irreverent voices in the entertainment industry today, this 34-year-old English writer and actress broke onto the scene in 2013 when her one-woman play Fleabag debuted at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Catching the attention of the BBC, the play was rewritten into a six-part TV series and two critically-acclaimed seasons and one hot priest later, it’s earned its writer and star three Emmys, endless more awards nominations, and secured her a three-year deal with Amazon Prime worth a reported $60 million.

What she’s doing next: While fans have been told not to hold out hope for a third season of Fleabag, there’s no question 2020 will bring more success for Phoebe, who can hopefully avoid buckling under the pressure of our now sky-high expectations. First on the agenda? Forthcoming James Bond flick No Time to Die. On-boarded to bring the franchise’s often-problematic portrayal of women into the 21st century, Phoebe – who also wrote TV adaptation Killing Eve – supposedly transformed the script with her wit and wisdom.

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THOMASIN MCKENZIE Where you’ve seen her: After

What she’s doing next: Having

cutting her teeth on Shortland Street and then making an international breakthrough in US survivalist drama Leave No Trace, the 19-year-old daughter of Gloss actress-turned-acting coach Miranda Harcourt was swiftly snapped up by New Zealand director Taika Waititi who cast her as the Anne Frank-esque Elsa in Nazi-kitsch flick, Jojo Rabbit. Given the Academy’s history of recognising young Kiwi actresses, a wildcard Oscar nomination isn’t out of reach at the time of printing. Awards glory or not, she has a bright future ahead.

secured sizable roles in Justin Kurzel’s The True History of the Kelly Gang and Edgar Wright’s Last Night in Soho, 2020 will see Thomasin’s star continue to rise. She’s also using her growing profile to speak out about social and political issues with a poignancy beyond her years. Beneath an Instagram post taken at the gates of a Czech concentration camp she visited while filming Jojo Rabbit, she drew a chilling parallel between Hitler’s labelling Jews as ‘rodents’ and Trump’s referring to illegal immigrants as ‘animals’.

‘She has a bright future ahead’ NATASHA LYONNE Where you’ve seen her: Forty-year-old Natasha is not new to the small or silver screen, having worked consistently over the past two decades playing parts in everything from Will & Grace to Weeds. A series regular role in Orange is the New Black finally earned her the esteem of the industry, but it was last year’s award-winning Netflix series Russian Doll, which she not only starred in but co-created, that finally put her front and centre and made critics and audiences take note.

What she’s doing next: With Netflix having signed on

AWKWAFINA Where you’ve seen her: Of mixed Korean and Chinese heritage, Awkwafina found fame in 2016 comedy Neighbours 2 after her YouTube channel caught the attention of Seth Rogan. She went mainstream in 2018, chalking up memorable supporting roles in Crazy Rich Asians and Ocean’s 8, and in 2019, off the back of her performance in foreign language film The Farewell, she became the sixth Asian woman in history to be nominated for a Best Comedy/Musical Actress Golden Globe.

What she’s doing next: As well as voice work for The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie and Disney’s live action remake of The Little Mermaid, the 31-year-old is currently putting together her own 10-episode TV series, Awkwafina is Nora from Queens, scheduled for release in 2020. Expect her to continue carving a path for Asian voices in Hollywood, while saying no to reductive roles. “I’m okay with having an Asian aspect [to the character] if it’s done in a genuine way… [but] I don’t ever go for auditions where I feel like I’m making a minstrel out of our people,” she says.

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for three seasons of Russian Doll – the second of which will air this year – Natasha and co-creators Amy Poehler and Leslye Headland have their work cut out for them. Other upcoming projects include directing one-off episodes of High Fidelity, OITNB, Lindy West’s Shrill, and the Awkwafina is Nora from Queens series.


CELEB

LASHANA LYNCH

Where you’ve seen her: While her resumé is fairly slim, with a smattering of film and TV appearances and a supporting role in 2019’s Captain Marvel her most significant credit to date, 32-year-old Lashana still made headlines last year when it was revealed she’d been cast as 007 in No Time to Die. At the time, fans went into a tailspin at the thought of a black, female James Bond. It’s since been clarified that Bond will in fact be played by Daniel Craig, but as for the retired agent’s number? That’s been reallocated to Lashana’s Nomi, who we can see being quite the scene-stealer.

What she’s doing next: Following the April release of No Time to Die, one can assume that the acting world will be Lashana’s oyster. Look for her first in upcoming TV series Y, a post-apocalyptic drama based on the comic book series Y: The Last Man, which sees a new world order of women come to the fore after a cataclysmic event wipes out every male bar one.

BEANIE FELDSTEIN

Where you’ve seen her: Younger sister of comedy

actor Jonah Hill, 26-year-old Beanie’s big break came in 2017 playing the protagonist’s best friend in Greta Gerwig’s Oscar-winning Lady Bird. She’s since well and truly settled into the coming-of-age niche, stealing the show as class president Molly in Olivia Wilde’s 2019 buddy-comedy Booksmart, for which she was nominated for a Golden Globe, and Johanna in the semi-autobiographical Caitlin Moran-penned, How to Build a Girl.

What she’s doing next: Breaking out of the high school bracket, Beanie is slated to appear as Monica Lewinsky in the third series of Ryan Murphy’s American Crime Story. Along with Monica herself, she’ll be receiving a co-producing credit on the project.

CONSTANCE WU

Where you’ve seen her: Named one of Time’s Most Influential People

Photographs Getty Images

in 2017 for her work championing Asian representation in Hollywood and the #Time’sUp movement, 37-year-old Constance was catapulted into the spotlight in 2018 as the female lead in Crazy Rich Asians, becoming the first Asian woman to be nominated for a Best Actress Golden Globe in 45 years. She has most recently starred opposite Jennifer Lopez in 2019’s criticallyacclaimed Hustlers, playing stripper Destiny.

What she’s doing next: Back-to-back filming of two Crazy Rich Asians sequels – China Rich Girlfriend and Rich People Problems – will be keeping Constance busy for much of 2020. She’s also set to star in the film adaptation of Rachel Khong’s award-winning novel Goodbye Vitamin, and reprise her role as ‘tiger mom’ Jessica Huang in the sixth season of ABC sitcom Fresh Off the Boat.

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INSIGHT

Learning to unwind

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icture a hammock – one of those multicoloured stripy ones. It sways back and forth gently in a light tropical breeze. The air is deliciously warm. Far below the hotel balcony, the sea glints in the sunshine. For many of us, this is the classic image of rest, where no one requires anything from us. But it’s not so easy to sustain that sense of restfulness: we all yearn for rest, but then feel anxious that we are being lazy. At the moment we are suffering from a global rest deficit. In the survey that informs the structure of my book, I worked as part of a team to hear from 18,000 people living in 135 different countries on their relationship with rest. The survey was part of a residency at Wellcome Collection where poets, geographers, musicians, historians and others spent time considering the topic of rest. Two-thirds of respondents said that they would like more rest. Women reported getting an average of 10 minutes less time to rest each day than men, and people with caring responsibilities also had less rest. Younger people, both men and women, working either shifts or traditional full-time hours, felt they rested the least. This rest deficit, both perceived and real, is damaging in many ways. Today, in the UK, more than half a million people are suffering from workrelated stress. In the US, more than a quarter of people have fallen asleep at work and 16% have fallen asleep recently while driving. When you add on caring responsibilities, housework and the general admin of modern life, it is no surprise perhaps that three-quarters of us have been so stressed at some point over the past year that we have felt overwhelmed or unable to cope. The effects of a sleep deficit are now well understood, but rest has not, so far, received the same amount of attention. Yet there is evidence that spending time relaxing helps us make better

Author and researcher Claudia Hammond has been part of a global study on the subject of rest. Here she reveals why it’s so crucial and the 10 best research-backed ways to recharge

decisions, lowers our risk of depression, boosts our memories and means we catch fewer colds. Though doctors often prescribe rest, they are vague about the type and amount. “Get some rest,” they say. But does that just mean staying in bed? Or should we do our favourite hobby or go out to see our friends, if that’s what we consider restful? The fact is we are all on our own on this one. Rest is a case of self-diagnosis and self-prescription. But that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from others. Rest is not a luxury: it’s a necessity.

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The rest test

Are you getting enough rest? If the answer to most of these questions is “Yes”, then you might well benefit from getting some more. ● Are you a carer? ● Do you often eat food on the go? ● Do you commit yourself to events way in advance thinking you’ll be

able to fit them in and then regret having said yes when the time comes? ● When people ask how you are, do you tell them you’re very busy? ● Do you do shift work? ● Would you feel guilty if you sat and did nothing for 10 minutes? ● Is it unusual for you to take your full lunch break at work? ● Are you tempted to give up the one activity that leaves you feeling refreshed because you’re too overwhelmed by all the things you need to do? ● Do you believe that if you try hard enough, one day you might have an empty to-do list?

'At the moment we are suffering from a 38 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020


global rest deficit'


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INSIGHT

The top10

MOST RESTFUL ACTIVITIES

Clear your busy mind and count your way down using these proven techniques

10

Mindfulness

It’s telling, I think, that although mindfulness is now a multimillion-dollar industry, it only came 10th in the Rest Test (4000 out of 18,000 people considered it restful). It’s clear that it’s not for everyone, and it certainly isn’t the panacea it is sometimes claimed to be. When mindfulness is at its most useful, it helps to keep us in the present. It can also teach us when we need to rest. By tuning in to your body and mind, you might be able to pick up hints; maybe you are holding your shoulders up stiffly or perhaps you’re feeling irritated with everyone around you. The sooner you notice these things, the sooner you can decide to make time to rest in some way.

9

Watching TV

More women than men put TV down as one of their top three restful activities, as did more young people than older people. Maybe for the younger and middleaged people, TV feels most restful because it comes after a busy day at work: the preceding busyness grants permission to lounge and luxuriate. But we should actively guard against feeling guilty when we reach for that remote. Whether it is current affairs, Netflix or YouTube, television provides an escape from ourselves. And from the demands of dealing with other people, even when they’re with us.

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restful, compared with those over the age of 60. Research shows a great time for a hot bath is an hour or two before you get into bed, but, impractical as it sounds, a bath in the middle of the afternoon works even better. In one experiment, students who took a 90-minute hot bath in the middle of the afternoon felt sleepier at bedtime and experienced more high-quality sleep. I doubt many bosses will agree to us slipping away from work for an hour to take a bath, but it’s worth trying at the weekend.

Daydreaming

If you are among the 37% of people who find daydreaming restful, don’t beat yourself up about it. When we are daydreaming we are not just switching off, but rather slipping into a different form of mental activity. Instead of ‘daydreaming’, scientists tend to use the term ‘mind wandering’. Off goes the mind in search of things, another thought, another idea. If you endlessly chase after it, following and trying to impose order, it will be tiring. But if you let it go – like a toddler or a puppy racing around the garden while you relax in a deckchair – you will feel less stressed, less put upon.

7

A nice hot bath

Somewhat surprisingly, our survey suggested baths are particularly popular with the young. Almost twice as many 18- to 30-year-olds listed having a bath as

6

A good walk

Of our respondents, 38% selected walking as one of their top three restful activities. Walking solves two of the biggest impediments facing us when we try to do nothing: feeling guilty and boredom. Another 16% chose exercise of some kind and 8% said that even running is restful. We found that the people who do more exercise also believe they get more rest, and they’re right: in the preceding 24 hours they reported spending a greater number of hours resting in general than people who exercised less.

5

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Doing nothing in particular

While most people in the UK and America told us they considered rest to be the opposite of work, 57% of the

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3

‘I want to be alone’

Modern communication can make us feel as if we are almost never on our own. But, according to the Office for National Statistics, we spend about 29% of our leisure time – an average of 100 minutes a day – alone. What really matters is how much control you have over the time you spend on your own. When we examined personality factors in our survey, we found that even extroverts rated time spent alone as more restful than time spent with other people (though it’s true they were less drawn to solitude than natural introverts). In the right quantities, time spent alone can allow us to retreat and to tend to our emotions, to think more deeply and to discover ourselves.

2

Spending time in nature

4 Extracted from The Art of Rest: How to Find Respite in the Modern Age by Claudia Hammond. In stores now. (Canongate/ Allen & Unwin, $45).

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Listening to music

Conscious listening – listening through choice – is what I’m assuming our respondents were referring to when they chose this as one of their top 10. Research tells us that the music that proves the most anxiety-reducing should be selected by no one but us. When we feel in need of rest, perhaps we should tune into a ‘resting playlist’ that takes us from deep relaxation to restoration, with every song one of our favourites. If your day has been stressful and you are looking to rest, then several studies suggest the best time to listen to music is in the evening.

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Reading

An impressive 58% of respondents selected reading as the activity that is more restful than any other. And these people also seem to have cracked how to live the good life, as they were especially likely to score high on a scale that measures whether a person is flourishing, a concept that combines self-esteem, purpose, meaning and optimism. We didn’t ask people what they were reading: it might have been printed or digital, fiction, nonfiction, magazines, newspapers or, who knows, annual reports. What you choose is down to personal taste, but the key is to choose something that will put you into what the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls a “state of flow”; a state so all-encompassing that you don’t even detect time passing. Read mindfully or mindlessly. It’s up to you.

'Even an hour after a micro-break, energy

Photographs Getty Images

respondents living in India had a different view. Perhaps these individuals love their jobs so much, they feel energised rather than exhausted at the end of the day. We all know that breaks at work matter, but the days when we are most likely to benefit are, of course, the days when it feels impossible to stop. But a break needn’t be lengthy to have an impact. However, a micro-break could involve simply leaning back in your chair with your eyes closed for a few seconds, or pausing with a cup of tea instead of bringing it straight back to your desk. It works, too: studies have shown that even an hour after a micro-break, energy levels are still higher than they were before.

If you ask people where they would most like to spend their time alone, the answer is out in nature, and 53% of people in the Rest Test put down spending time in nature as restful. Subjectively, we know nature feels calming. And research from Finland has confirmed the locations people rate as most restorative fall into specific categories: places associated with childhood memories, places where people used to live, places that relate to identity, or places where people feel they can contemplate the present and plan for the future. The perfect landscape for restfulness holds what psychologists call a “soft fascination”: distracting us enough from our pessimistic thoughts, yet allowing us to achieve restfulness. If we are to find nature restful, experience and meaning matter.


INSIGHT

The rest prescription ● Make sure you rest enough. The people with the highest levels

of wellbeing in our survey were resting for between five and six hours a day. This sounds like a lot, but on average women in the UK have five hours and 29 minutes to spend on leisure activities each day. Five hours doesn’t mean you need to set aside that amount of time to do nothing: for some people, cooking meals or going for a run might count as restful. ● When you feel stressed, prescribe yourself 15 minutes of your favourite restful activity. Is there an activity that instantly calms your mind? ● Put breaks in your diary as well as appointments. Decide at the start of the day when to take three or four breaks. A few minutes will do – think about what you will be doing and make sure it really qualifies as a break. ● Reframe your wasted time as rest. Instead of feeling infuriated by a 10-minute delay to a train journey, rebrand this time as an opportunity to rest for a while. ● Create a box of rest. What items best induce restfulness for you? Mine would contain a crochet hook and some wool, a book of short stories and some running socks. ● Lastly: don’t let your search for rest become unrestful!

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levels are still higher than they were before'


the dating

game

W

Lesina Nakhid-Schuster tells Monique McKenzie what it has been like swapping her job as a surgical registrar to become New Zealand’s first Bachelorette

hen it comes to navigating the modern dating landscape, our busy lives and the rise of internet dating can make it increasingly difficult to find people in real life. And if you do take the plunge and agree to meet, not only are you putting yourself out there emotionally, you also have to have your wits about you. So when Lesina Nakhid-Schuster, a 32-year-old locum surgical registrar who specialises in ENT (ear, nose and throat) surgery was ready to find love, she decided to take a unique but pragmatic approach to partnering up. That’s why for the next little while, she’s traded gruelling 15-hour days working in scrubs for full-length gowns and dates with up to 22 men as New Zealand’s very first Bachelorette. Lesina is following on from Art Green and Matilda Rice’s success story on the first season of The Bachelor New Zealand in 2015, with the show now setting the female in the driver’s seat and letting her put the suitors through their paces. Hailing from West Auckland and with Samoan, German and Lebanese heritage, Lesina says “the stars aligned” when the call-out for a single leading lady was made. “It’s cheesy, but I was trying to find someone and felt like I wasn’t meeting anyone in Auckland. I thought, ‘I really need to increase my pool size.’ I’d actually changed jobs and was working in Australia for that reason,” she laughs. Locuming in Sydney at the time, friends back home started tagging Lesina on a Bachelorette Facebook post, encouraging her to go for the gig. “Someone from production got in touch and said, ‘Would you consider applying?’ Actually, ‘Are you still single?’ was the first question, and I said ‘Yes I am, so that needs to change.’ Even before The Bachelorette, I’d get tagged in lots of single memes. I’m around the same work people all of the time, there were so many reasons why it made sense, so I said ‘Yeah, I’ll give it a go.’” She compares the approach on The Bachelorette – which sees a woman select a love match from a pool of potential admirers – to the rise of dating apps like Bumble, where if you’re interested, you swipe right.

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‘There were so many reasons why it made sense’ 44 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020


PROFILE

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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All about empowering women, Bumble’s modern approach means only female users can make the first move with matched male users. “Traditionally, how would a career woman do it? How would women who are busy with their own lives get out and meet people? You can still do all of those things, but apps like Bumble help as well – it’s just another avenue. And the fact that women choose first, it’s empowering.”

THE JOURNEY Busy with her own life is an understatement for Lesina, who is more than familiar with 7am starts and working 11 days straight. She remembers being at work when filming her audition video. “I had to go into a patient’s room. It was empty; no patient was in there,” she laughs reassuringly. Upon being informed she’d been chosen for the first season of The Bachelorette New Zealand, Lesina flew home to start filming at the luxurious Te Hihi Estate, the former home of billionaire Eric Watson. Located in Karaka, about 40 minutes from Auckland’s CBD, the mansion is set on 33 hectares, complete with a golf course, polo field, tennis court, private lake, swimming pool and helipad – an idyllic, romantic setting for Lesina’s quest for love. But although reality television has traditionally portrayed women as submissive objects of men’s desire, Lesina is quick to quell anyone branding her with a desperate-for-love-and-fame stereotype. Her authenticity is obvious, and she’s practical about taking control of her future. “If that was me as an audience member, I would like to see someone of substance, someone with a brain. I know what I want; I’ve dated and I’ve done all of that, and I’m so ready for that next life phase. Being 32 and having lived a full life, having done all of the things that I wanted and being where I’m at now, my outlook is very tailored to what I want out of it, which is something long-term. I’m totally ready for that.”

‘It’s not for everyone, but I really do want a family’ Having admittedly never watched a whole season of The Bachelor before, Lesina encountered plenty of curveballs along the way and was surprised by how the experience facilitated, as much as anything, a process of learning about herself. “It’s been an insane couple of months; the highest of highs and the lowest of lows – all of the emotions. You’re confronted with these things and I’ll think, ‘Why do I do that?’ And then someone asks, ‘Why do you do that?’ and then I have to answer it, whereas in real life you would just think, ‘Oh well, that’s what I do.’ You actually have to face it, so it’s been more of a journey of self-discovery than I thought it would be, way more difficult emotionally. With some of those discoveries I’d think, ‘Oh my gosh, this is why I’m single!’” she laughs. But because the show’s host Art Green had gone through the same experience, she had him to turn to for advice when times were tough. “He’s been awesome. I don’t even see him as a host, I just see him as a good friend now; we’ve travelled together and if I asked him how he would’ve dealt with a particular scenario, he’d give me so much advice. It was so helpful, otherwise I would’ve felt pretty lonely, so it’s been really great having him around. We’d go to the gym in the morning and just gossip like you would with a girlfriend. He’s like a girlfriend,” she laughs. Part of the series takes participants offshore,

An Instagram splash From left: The doctor is here; taking in the sights in Amsterdam; celebrating her sister’s graduation from Columbia University in NewYork City; enjoying the sand and sun in Manly.

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PROFILE

which meant a few weeks of fun and flirtation in Argentina. A keen traveller, South America happens to be at the top of Lesina’s list of must-visit destinations, with Peru her personal favourite. “I love Peru. It’s just got a good mix of everything – amazing culture and good food. Machu Picchu’s incredible, but there’s also this little surf town that I spent weeks in at the top of Máncora, which has lots of parties and is a lot of fun.”

Photographs Supplied

FINDING ‘THE ONE’ So does this mean she’d like to find a partner who also shares her love of travel? “I would love someone who is at least open to it, to share that with. I’m not quite done with travel; I still think I would love to live somewhere else for a little while. But I know not everyone’s into that and it’s nice to have someone who has different interests to you.” Although opposites attract, most people have a list in their head of prerequisites or non-negotiables when it comes to their ideal future partner. For Lesina, that means someone similar to her dad. “I talk about my dad on the show and it’s probably going to be blasted everywhere,” she laughs. “My dad’s kind and self-assured. My mum’s a bit like me; she’s a professor so she travels and does all of this stuff, but he’s very grounded and they really work. He’s been a really good male role model for me, so I want someone with those basic qualities.” And was her family supportive of her decision to find love on reality television? “They said, ‘We don’t have to be on it, do we?’ and I told them, ‘You do’,” she laughs. “But they trusted me to make the right decisions, not to hurt people and to also be mindful of my emotions.” In her five-to-10-year plan, starting a family is definitely on the cards. “It’s not for everyone, but I really do want a family. I’d be gutted if that didn’t happen and I think I’d have a serious discussion if someone didn’t want to have kids, and it was completely off the table. But I know you can’t force that kind of thing. I don’t want to put pressure on myself, and although I’m coming into this wanting a family, I don’t want that to be what this is about; trying to find a guy who wants a family. If I find the right person, I’ll hang on to that.” She’s hoping that Kiwis warm to The Bachelorette, especially now that there’s a female taking the reins. “I hope it gives people an insight into other ways of doing things, other ways of thinking and dating and handling guys. I may not do everything traditionally, and I may not be the typical Bachelorette, but I hope New Zealanders will embrace that.”

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The Bachelorette New Zealand premieres on Monday, January 27 at 7.30pm on TVNZ 2 and is available to stream at TVNZ OnDemand. FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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INSIGHT

MONEY MATTERS

Do you pool your finances or keep them separate from your significant other? Radhika Holmström (a committed splitter) takes a look at the tricky ‘yours, mine and ours’ topic

W

e’ve all seen that couple in the restaurant. The ones who have clearly been together for years, who seem quite unremarkable – until it comes to paying. At which point, rather than put it on the shared bank account, they split the bill, or discuss whose card is going to take the hit. Reader, I confess – that couple is likely to be my partner and I. I’m sorry if it irritates or bemuses you. In fact, when I explain my finances to other people, they’re frequently rather shocked, because they can look more than a little baroque to couples who ‘share everything’. Yes, there are times when one of us has to make an urgent transfer to the joint ‘bills and offspring’ account. But having separate personal ones works for us. I don’t understand why other people find it weird. So I was highly consoled (and a little smug) to see a new study which shows that men do more housework in homes where the female partners keep their own bank accounts. The researcher from Lancaster University, who looked at the data from 6070 heterosexual couples in the UK Household Longitudinal Survey, found something else that really struck me: less than 12% of women surveyed kept their own accounts. From my admittedly not very scientific survey of friends, a significant proportion of those ‘own accounts’ are shell ones, in that they don’t keep anything much in them; effectively, everything is in one.

Several couples of my acquaintance find a single joint account to be the most straightforward way to operate: everything’s out in the open, nobody’s wrangling embarrassingly about debit cards in public and, as my friend Ella puts it, “We’re in it together”. That’s the view across quite a spectrum, from households with one main earner to those made up of two freelancers. “I was insistent that we keep things separate, until we started running a business together,” says Kate. “Then it made sense to pool everything. I can’t understand how you’d have it any other way.”

MONEY BOUNDARIES Others have the excuse of being from a different generation: one friend’s mother didn’t even know what her husband earned, while another’s mum didn’t use an ATM until she was widowed at 64. That’s all very well, but there are some whose experience makes you wonder why anyone would share. Like Johanna, whose ex-husband controlled the joint account to

the point where she was made to feel guilty for spending $4 in a charity shop. “I wouldn’t have minded if he hadn’t been so useless with money,” she told me. “I used to lie awake worrying whether bills were paid, until he finally allowed me to do them on his payday, before he could fritter the money away.” On the other hand, it’s harder to keep secrets: shared finances were how Marcia discovered her now ex-husband’s affair. However, Naz believes she had a lucky escape, as she and her ex of 10 years didn’t merge anything. “He moved into my flat and paid toward bills and food, but he was useless with money, relying on payday loans and all sorts. Of course I gradually found out why: gambling. Keeping our finances separate was the right decision.” Dr Yang Hu, who carried out the Lancaster University study, agrees that

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‘WHEN I EXPLAIN MY FINANCES TO OTHER PEOPLE THEY’RE FREQUENTLY RATHER SHOCKED’ FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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INSIGHT

it’s a messy topic. “When couples share income there are a whole lot of other issues, such as who’s contributing more. It isn’t always the case that both partners genuinely have equal access and equal say in how it’s spent.”

MONEY OPTIONS So how do the non-mergers do it? Some have complex financial arrangements, an array of savings, pensions and bank accounts. Still more have the kind of set-up that prevails in my household: separate personal accounts and a joint one into which we both pay set amounts every month. To me, retaining separate finances isn’t just about keeping a bit of ‘running away’ money for yourself (‘running away’ usually equating to ‘a sudden splurge on something’, rather than anything more alarming). It’s about knowing you’ve got a bit of cash to spend/save as you see fit. Whatever the configuration, when the debit cards are down there’s almost always some wiggle room. “We have separate accounts plus a joint one, into which we pay about a third of our very disproportionate incomes. Neither of us can bear the idea of completely joint finances,” says Claudia, adding, “Big expenses get dealt with separately, usually by me because I have more left over.” That’s pretty typical. “There isn’t a one-size-fits-all rule,” says money expert Nick Hill. “You don’t have to rush into sharing, especially if the other person has a bad credit score. Start with a small joint account and ground rules.” And

F O U R

S T E P S

1. Know who’s paying for what “A spreadsheet is a good idea to keep track,” says Nick Hill.

T O

be organised. “Set up a spreadsheet – otherwise it’s very easy to lose track of why you’re paying more or less.” It turns out this is what my friend Elisabeth does in her second marriage, after a first one in which her and her ex’s shared finances careened into free-fall debt. Of course, things can still go wrong in the separate-plus-joint scenario – if one party becomes incapacitated or dies, you can’t simply access their account. Legally, the other party has no right to it, even for what are effectively joint outgoings, if they aren’t formally authorised as the power of attorney with full documentation. Or you might find that your other half has made away with what they did have access to – Vicky particularly remembers the Valentine’s dinner her ex-husband arranged... to break the news he’d maxed

A

S M O O T H E R

2. Reappraise wills every time your circumstances change “It’s not a document you do once,” says financial adviser Philippa Gee. For instance, if you remarry, you may want children from your first marriage to benefit from assets already in their name.

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out her credit card. Or a relationship can end but the joint account lingers.

MONEY CONVERSATIONS Whether you merge everything, keep it separate or have a middle ground, it can mask the biggest problem of all: not being able to talk about money. The experts agree that’s much more problematic than how you share the money itself. “Going down one route won’t necessarily save you from future problems – if someone wants to hide something, they’ll do just that,” says independent financial adviser Philippa Gee. In her view, the most important thing is to have a ‘money conversation’ when things get serious, much like a ‘children conversation’. “It’s something you rarely discuss before forming a partnership, but money is one of the reasons people separate. It’s crucial when you’re coming out of a relationship.” She adds that couples should reappraise their situation at every major juncture – from first baby to retirement – and put formal strategies in place for dealing with unforeseen events. “Approach your financial planning jointly. But equally, if you have concerns or worries about the financial strength of your partner, don’t be forced into joint enterprises at all.” For those of us who find this level of frankness daunting, Nick says there’s plenty of help and guidance available. “A lot of people stay in debt for up to a year before seeking help. Get help early and it can make a huge difference, especially if you’re going into joint debt.” Perhaps I need to be proactive, make formal arrangements and, oh dear, talk more frankly about money. But merge it all completely? For the moment, we’re keeping separate cards on the table.

M O N E Y

3. Get your own independent super plan This kind of provision is too important to leave to someone else. And yes, plenty of relationships last into the twilight years, but plenty don’t. “You need to protect yourself,” says Nick.

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M A R R I A G E

4. Draw up lasting power of attorney documents for each of you These enable a named person/ people to make/help make decisions about money and have access to the other person’s finances in the event of incapacity. They take time, admin and money, but save a lot of stress should the worst happen.

Words © Radhika Holmström / Telegraph Media Group Limited 2019 Photographs Getty Images

‘BIG EXPENSES GET DEALT WITH SEPARATE USUALLY BY ME BECAUSE I HAVE MORE LEFT OVER’


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L I V I N G W I T H T H E E N E M Y

AND HOW I BROKE FREE Isolated from her friends and family and constantly berated, one woman tells how she found freedom after her supposedly ‘loving’ husband did everything he could to emotionally break her

I

t’s a funny thing, emotional abuse. Obviously it’s not actually funny at all, but it’s different from other types of abuse in that you can’t see it. There are no bruises; the only wounds you carry are on the inside, but they can take even longer to heal, if ever. The thing about emotional abuse, is it’s not just other people who don’t realise it’s happening to you. Often you don’t even realise it yourself. You just gradually start shrinking, little by little, and over time you come to believe that you are the problem, that you are just hopelessly flawed. I was just 19 when I met the man who would become my husband. A confident young man, he told me he would treat me like a princess. A few months later, I left behind everything and everyone I knew to be with him. As we began our new life together, however, I sometimes felt I was treated more like a dog than a princess. His behaviour alternated between talking down to me and treating me as though I was stupid, to virtually patting me on the head if I was good. I didn’t like it, but this was my first real relationship and he seemed so knowledgeable and worldly wise compared to me. Two years later we were married. The first couple of years weren’t too bad. I learned quickly that I was never allowed to sit still; if I did my husband would call me lazy from his permanent spot on the couch. I felt it was unfair, but his mother was a formidable lady who never stopped for a moment and I was expected to be the same. I was terrified of her and desperate to please his family, so would run myself ragged. Once our two children came along he delighted in calling me fat and would pass judgement on every morsel I ate. It was once the kids got older, however, that the problems really started. For the first time I was making friends of my own, not just wives of my husband’s friends and colleagues. He never liked any of them and would be so unpleasant towards them that eventually he drove them all away, isolating me once again. Any hobbies I took an interest in were quickly quashed.

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‘Anything he didn’ t have complete control over, he simply couldn’ t handle’

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REAL LIFE

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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DAMAGE AND CONTROL Anything he didn’t have complete control over, he simply couldn’t handle. Such as when I finally used the talents I had to build myself a professional career. While he would join in enthusiastically when others praised me, as soon as we were alone he would go out of his way to put me down. However, this was one area where his taunts fell on deaf ears. I knew I was incredibly good at my job. So he went back to calling me fat again and would tell me on a daily basis about all the women who came on to him at work, as if he was doing me some sort of favour by still coming home to me. Eventually I got sick of the constant jibes about my weight and joined the local gym. I also began running and to my surprise and delight lost over 30kg. I now weighed less than I had as a teenager and the fat shaming finally stopped. Unfortunately, it was replaced by jealous obsession. Everywhere I went, he followed me and as soon as I was out of sight he would rummage through my bags, searching for evidence I had been up to no good. In 2010, we relocated to a new area. My career working from home was going from strength to strength and so was my husband’s, yet he never seemed to do any work. If I was lucky I would get a couple of hours to myself to work in peace before he would return home and be hovering over my shoulder, demanding my attention. He never seemed to have any work to do, despite having an extremely high paid job, so he set about making himself indispensable around the house. I was no longer allowed to hang out washing by myself and before long he had taken every single one of the household chores away from me. His reasoning was, if he left it to me, nothing would ever get done. I felt I had no role any more and was of no use to anyone. This was something he revelled in. “Everyone thinks you’re so perfect, imagine if they knew you didn’t even do any housework or cook dinner!” he mocked.

CRUEL INTENTIONS As our children entered their teens, he felt threatened even by them and was consumed with jealousy at the time they spent with me. He installed locks on the bedroom and bathroom doors, and I wasn’t allowed to have a bath alone or wash myself without him doing it for me. Every morning without fail I was brought breakfast in bed. Far from being a treat, I hated this ritual with a passion. He didn’t do it out of kindness, but so that I couldn’t

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‘Nothing about his treatment of me was okay’ get out of bed and see my children before they went to school. I wasn’t allowed out until I had eaten every bit and he would lock the door behind him and yell at our children that they were not to disturb me.

NO KIND OF LIFE Night time was no better. The children and I were forbidden from laughing or making any noise from the moment he arrived home. Most bizarre of all, he began timing how long I spent tucking them in and would fly upstairs in a rage, yelling I had been quite long enough. As for my bedtime, that was 10.30pm and not a minute later. Once I did get into bed, I was treated to the same lecture every night about what a terrible wife I was. I was sexually harrassed either via text or in person all the time and the children were becoming aware of what he was doing to me. They would hear him shouting at me at night, ranting on and on,

and there were increasingly too many weekends when they would find me crying after another long night when their father had once again forced himself upon me, calling me every name under the sun as he did so. I was so exhausted I couldn’t even drag myself out of bed most days any more. For a while I’d been working with a personal assistant, who lived in the same town. My employer had guessed long ago something was wrong and told my PA to try and get to the bottom of it. One morning I broke down, telling her everything. Her shocked response amazed me. For years I had told myself that this was married life and was something everyone just had to put up with. Now here was someone telling me that I had been right all along, that my marriage was not at all normal. We sat on the lounge floor together and she placed a piece of paper in front of me. “I want you to write a timeline,” she said. “Jot down all the


REAL LIFE

major events in your life in order of the year they happened.” This I duly did. “Now, I want you to write on that timeline the last time you remember being happy.” I didn’t hesitate, it had been when I had last visited my family in England. My colleague stared at me open-mouthed. Somehow, I had endured this living hell for 16 years. The next day I made an appointment to see a counsellor. She told me to get all the children’s paperwork and passports together as well as my own, and make an appointment with WINZ. She also gave me a copy of a book called Invisible Wounds: A Self-Help Guide for Women in Destructive Relationships by Kay Douglas. “Have a read and see if you recognise yourself in any of the chapters,” she said. As soon as I opened the pages this wave of relief, mixed with horror, washed over me. It wasn’t my fault! Nothing about his treatment of me was okay. For all our sakes, I had to end it.

ESCAPE TO FREEDOM What I was most terrified of was the very real chance he’d hurt or even kill me, so the kids and I made a plan and hid the keys to his gun safe. It took three months to pluck up the courage to leave, but one Sunday morning I could take no more. He didn’t harm me physically, but he made sure everyone for miles heard how hard done by he was and how crazy I was not to appreciate everything he did for me. He told me I’d have nothing and live in a hovel. He was wrong. I bought a lovely house for the children and I to live in. At last we were free. Now our home is filled with singing and laughter, not shouting and anger. If you feel something is not quite right in your relationship, please don’t tell yourself that it’s all in your head, or that there must be something wrong with you. If one of my friends had been receiving the same treatment, I wouldn’t have hesitated in telling her it wasn’t okay, yet I couldn’t see it in myself.

Photographs Getty Images (posed by model)

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How to get help Talk to someone

Free and confidential help is available if you or someone you know is being abused. Call the free 24-hour Women’s Refuge crisis line on 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843.

Find somewhere safe

The Women’s Refuge offers urgent safe

Psychologist Dr Ruth Jillings shares advice The tricky thing about emotional abusers is they’re often charismatic, charming, successful and well-liked. They can help in the community and generally hold it together in public. The difficulty is you may have convinced yourself that it is not possible your partner is emotionally abusive because everyone likes them and therefore it is your fault, your failings and your sub-standard behaviour that causes the abuse.This is not true! With emotional abuse there’s a constant stream of self-doubt. Is it really that bad? Have I made it up? Maybe it is my fault like he says?Your mind plays tricks on you and your sense of what’s real can shift.Your concept of what is acceptable and what you’ll tolerate is also eroded. Emotional abuse builds slowly so over time you accept lots of little things you never imagined you would. By the time you’re in a fully-fledged emotionally abusive relationship you’re desensitised to much of it and have become good at enduring and surviving. Things that once would have horrified you, happen most days without you batting an eye. This is why it is so hard to spot the signs of emotional abuse – after a while you can no longer tell what is abuse and what is “normal”.

If anything in the article has rung any bells for you, there is a high chance you are in an unhealthy relationship. Ask yourself how often you feel like your partner is trying to control or manipulate you. Consider if your autonomy is slipping. Do you have the same access to your finances, your friends, your family or your hobbies? Does your partner’s behaviour differ in public and in private? Do they always have a list of excuses and justifications for why they behave the way they do? If you are becoming isolated and if

because remember after you have been in an abusive relationship for a while, your own perception of what is acceptable isn’t usually accurate. If you don’t pick the right person to listen to you, try again until you feel heard. Once again, you will think your situation is unique and that others won’t believe you. Please reach out for help. There are so many options for help and your situation is more common than any of us would like to admit. Emotional abuse is as real and as damaging as

‘Confide in someone who cares for you’ your partner saves all their bad stuff for you and also specifically blames you for much of it, you are not in a good relationship. It will require courage, but if you have any concerns about your situation, I would suggest step one is to confide in someone who cares for you. Step two is to listen with an open mind to what they say.You will be tempted to make excuses and explain away your partner’s behaviour.Your job is to be vulnerable enough to speak up and brave enough to trust what someone else has to say about your situation

accommodation across New Zealand and can house women and children in danger. womensrefuge.org.nz

Seek permanent protection A protection order protects you against someone you have a close relationship with, such as a partner or ex. It means an

any form of abuse.You can call the police or any of the listed resources, even if the abuse isn’t physical. Financial aid is also available if you need legal assistance to put a care and protection order in place. This process can be completed within days and on a ‘without notice’ basis, which means your partner doesn’t need to be told until it is in place. Women’s Refuge has a Whānau Protect option, which can help upgrade the security of your home. There are many options for support and you deserve more than an abusive relationship.

abuser can be arrested if they hurt, threaten or even approach you. justice.govt.nz

Show your support

People who are experiencing violence or emotional abuse often feel isolated and ashamed, and your support could be vital. Let them know you are there for them.

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CAREER

202020

CAREER TIPS FOR

Job progre iо Put your hand up Good things don’t come easy. Luck will get you part of the way, but giving things a go will reap big rewards with your progression at work. Try not to be deterred by the thought of failure – because not failing may mean you’re not reaching high enough. Playing it safe at work might seem like the easy option, but if professional development is on your agenda, then staying comfortable could prevent you from accomplishing great things.

Wiggle out of your comfort zone Thought about a bridge climb? Want to bake a seven-layer cake? How about joining a meet-up where you don’t know anyone? Make 2020 your ‘stretch and grow’ year by doing something that you wouldn’t normally do. Routines are as much about comfort as they are about efficiency. Making small but meaningful shake-ups to your routine – like walking a new way to the bus stop or having lunch at a different time – will lead to meeting new people, seeing different sights and kick-starting ideas.

Keep a ‘busy jar’ on your desk Like a swear jar, this is a great way to become more aware of the language you use and how it can affect you. It’s so easy to stress ourselves by using emotionally charged phrases like “I’m busy”, “I’m stressed”. Put a ‘busy jar’ on your desk and pop a gold coin in to the jar every time you consciously tell

56 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020

Jane Kennelly from Frog Recruitment shares 20 tips to make 2020 your best work year ever. From networking to finding a healthy work-life balance, they will all help you succeed

yourself that you’re busy or stressed. The fewer times you say it, the more you’ll reduce your own stress levels. Worst-case scenario... you might be able to buy yourself something special at the end of the year.

Ask for constructive feedback Feedback, both positive and negative, is very helpful. Top performing people tend to stay at the top of their game because they consistently search for ways to be and do better. ‘Continuous improvement’ becomes less catchphrase and more a true focus. Sometimes your manager might need a nudge to get the process started. Don’t be shy of asking for feedback throughout the year.

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TRY NOT TO BE DETERRED BY THE THOUGHT OF FAILURE – BECAUSE NOT FAILING MAY MEAN YOU’RE NOT REACHING HIGH ENOUGH





Team & work relatiоships Be kind

Celebrate others’ success

There are loads of ways to develop your career, but success also comes from fine-tuning the way we interact with the world. The need for empathy in the workplace is a hot topic. Some of us are naturally tuned into this and some of us aren’t, but the good news is that building kinder workplaces is not hard.

Congratulating others when they succeed starts a positive feedback loop. There’s something powerful about being able to genuinely revel in their success. It helps you develop the same feelings you need for your own achievements, grow networks and feel happy. It also boosts your sense of well-being and let’s face it, people like people who make them feel good!

HERE ARE FOUR EASY TIPS:

● Be quiet, inside and out ● Fully watch as well as listen ● Ask yourself what you are feeling ● Test your instinct. Other ways to boost your kindness reputation: smile, give recognition, use people’s names, ask for opinions, ask questions and show patience.

Get to know your colleagues – all of them Our workplaces are agile and fast paced and often the vital activity of building strong relationships with colleagues is put to one side. Getting to know people is instrumental in helping you succeed. Being genuinely interested in your colleagues not only helps ease the stress of the day, it adds to job satisfaction, career growth and it makes you feel good! We know that people respond well when they feel respected, so why not take the time to go beyond the chit-chat; share who you are and find out about your colleagues. You just might be surprised at what you learn!

Stop being perfect at work It’s exhausting trying to be perfect, especially in a world where we are bombarded by images of perfection which create unrealistic expectations of ourselves. Many of us strive to have a strong work ethic (and working hard is a positive quality), but there’s a difference between that and being a perfectionist.

Here are some ways to navigate the perfection-zone: ● Recognise your perfectionist tendencies: being aware of these tendencies is enlightening. ● Build trust and learn to delegate. ● Affirmations: silence that critical, internal head-talk by replacing it with a positive affirmation. ● Set yourself realistic goals. ● Done is better than perfect – a great phrase to remember when you are working to make something perfect.

GETTING TO KNOW PEOPLE IS INSTRUMENTAL IN HELPING YOU SUCCEED

Time management Take a break It may sound counterintuitive, but breaks are a highly effective time management strategy. Research shows that micro-breaks are good for you. The ability to concentrate is increased and stress is reduced, so take the time to make that cup of tea.

Time to disconnect Emails, texts, phone calls and social media messages are some of the biggest distractions in the workplace – so much so,

58 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020

Tak ke a walk

M a cup of tea

studies show you could end up wasting 759 hours each year due to these interruptions. Reduce these distractions when you are working on priority tasks by putting your phone on silent mode and turning data off. You’ll save time and increase efficiency.

A good night’s sleep Binge watching a Netflix series sounds like a great idea, but having a good night’s sleep is vital to being fully alert at work. Resting your head on your pillow for six to eight

hours is a key contributor to a healthy lifestyle. Having a good night’s sleep reduces sleep-deprived symptoms like nodding off during meetings, excessive yawning, having a foggy brain or being irritable, through to even bigger risk areas like diabetes or sleep apnoea.

Eat that frog! Mark Twain said “Eat a live frog every morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day”. His point: get into the habit of tackling your major task first thing in the morning to get it out of the way. Jump in and get started.


CAREER

Mental heal & work-life balance Do something for someone else

The healthy year of three

Change the world in 2020. Helping others is key to making the world a better place. Research shows that being helpful to others has a knock-on effect, as far as how we feel about ourselves. It’s a great way to build self-esteem, with the inner enjoyment experienced in helping others enriching and expanding your life. As the Dalai Lama says, “It is not enough to be compassionate – you must act”.

Every year, we set ourselves health goals that can be impossible to achieve, so why not make 2020 ‘the year of three’?

HERE ARE SOME TO CHOOSE FROM:

● Remove one sugary food from your daily diet ● Plan for a great sleep; go to bed at the same time ● Add a daily grateful check – the gratitude attitude ● Walk for 30 minutes a day ● Learn to meditate ● Eat some super foods ● Eat mindfully. Turn off the television. Chew.

<RX FDQ QHWZRUN Many people have an aversion to networking, which is such a shame, because networking events are a terrific opportunity to meet other professionals in your industry. You get to make new connections, stay on top of what’s happening in your field and increase your personal brand so from a career perspective, they are highly valuable.

Add a meeting buffer We’ve all found ourselves rushing from one meeting to the next with the clock ticking loudly. But to be at our best selves, we need to avoid the anxiety rush caused by using the simple technique of ‘adding a buffer’. Your buffer will become your refocussing lane, allowing you to declutter your brain, recharge and reduce your anxiety.

$UH \RX RND\" Have you got that niggling feeling that a colleague or someone you know or care about isn’t behaving as they normally would? Trust your gut instinct and act. You don’t need to be an expert to reach out, just a good friend and a great listener. Starting a conversation could help them to open up.

Photographs Getty Images

'LVFRYHU \RXU ÁRZ Being in the zone, finding your groove or feeling the flow are terms we use to describe those times when we lose track of the world around us as time flies. These are times when productivity skyrockets and we experience that sense of utter fulfilment. It’s a wonderful state that only happens when we are fully present in the moment. Find your flow every day by clearing your mind of noise and distractions (meditation is an excellent way to do this, or any other activity that you enjoy doing) and avoid multi-tasking. Become immersed in one task and do work that makes you come alive inside.

THOSE WHO ATTEND OFTEN SAY THEY FIND THE NETWORKING OPPORTUNITY TO BE THE MOST VALUABLE PART I am in control It’s not how good you are – it’s how good you want to be! It might sound cliché, but you have untapped potential and full control of your career choices. It’s called having a ‘growth mindset’, which is based on the belief that you can grow as you thrive on challenges, learn new things and stretch your existing abilities. For 2020, take note of how much your actions influence your career. Take more active control by intentionally networking and attending conferences.

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FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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P U S H I N G

through

If you were told you had incurable cancer, would you go back to work? Facebook’s Nicola Mendelsohn did BY SUSAN RILEY

healthy work-life balance is the eternal quest for many of us. That usually means trying to achieve equilibrium in a hyperconnected world; not getting too frazzled; not replying to emails at 10pm; taking time to exercise; to indulge your passions; to reclaim downtime (or bath time); to read; to step away from your desk and take a breather; to be whole; to be you. But how about when the balance is less about struggling to make more time for the personal, and instead about trying not to let the personal consume you and your career? When strategy meetings, client pitches and sales targets churn on even as your life is imploding. It might be a divorce, a miscarriage, bereavement or crippling insomnia, but you still get up and show up – glueing your workplace veneer over a broken heart or a tortured mind. In this story, the implosion was an incurable illness. But the difference was, there was no veneer. She told everybody. Nicola Mendelsohn, 48, is Facebook’s

A

vice president for Europe, Middle East and Africa. Born in Manchester, North London resident, CBE, a regular on industry power lists, mother of four, and – until November 16, 2016 – totally healthy. Then the diagnosis… The bad news didn’t arrive in one go. Nicola’s first symptom was a small lump in her groin that her doctor told her to “watch for a while”. Then came a precautionary CT scan – which Nicola didn’t worry about until checking her phone hours later and seeing 25 missed calls from doctors. The scan, done on a Friday, showed she had tumours all the way up the inside of her body. On the Monday, a biopsy confirmed she had follicular lymphoma: an incurable blood cancer. “That was the worst weekend of my life,” she recalls. “Because you want facts and to be in control and you’re totally not in control… I did a lot of crying. I couldn’t eat. I lost three kilos of weight that weekend from sheer worry. All while trying to keep a semblance of normality among the family.” Faced with the same diagnosis, what would you do? Quit your job? Travel the

‘YOU WANT ALL THE FACTS AND TO BE IN COLTROL AND YOU’RE TOTALLY NOT IN CONTROL... I DID A LOT OF CRYING’ 60 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020

world? Who can say until it happens, but Nicola went back to work, opting to ‘watch and wait’, having her cancer monitored as opposed to treated. In between check-ups, it was, she says, business as usual. “For follicular lymphoma (FL), there’s no benefit in treating early as we can’t cure it. Only when my cancer started to grow near my kidneys, and they were worried it would give me kidney failure, did I start chemo.” Fourteen treatments followed over six months, and today she sits opposite me in remission. “It’s complicated to say to someone: I’ve got an incurable cancer, but I’m in remission and in time it’ll come back, but I don’t know when and I look okay. You don’t look sick so people think you’re not. “Twenty percent of people will not fare well with FL and we don’t know why; they can have the same treatments and it’ll come back. The other 80% can have a period of extended remission. Today, there is no way of telling whether I’m in the 20% or the 80% and, if I’m in the latter, whether I’m going to get two or 10 years in remission.” That is quite a thing to live with, and to work with – especially at her industry level. So while I usually balk when women are asked how they do it, this time I am genuinely – and respectfully – intrigued.

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PROFILE

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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You said you spent the weekend after the CT scan ‘grieving for the life you had before’. What did you mean? Until mortality hits you in the face, you think you’re invincible. In my head, I still feel 25, and then suddenly it’s, “Oh, I never imagined I wouldn’t be a grandmother.” You realise that things you took for granted maybe aren’t your destiny. But I’ve learnt that the more you focus on that, the more it spirals you down. The only thing you’re in control of is what’s happening right here, right now, and how you respond. I didn’t want that weekend to be my life. I remember thinking: that’s not how I deal with things, so I’m going back to thinking how I think. I’m a positive and optimistic person, that’s the only way I know how to be.

That shows great mental strength. Did you decide that as you were given the diagnosis?

Have you continued to work since your diagnosis? Yes. When I was diagnosed, work said take the time, whatever you need to do to get better. But I think that’s the worst thing so I said I’d like to carry on. Then during treatment I didn’t know how I was going to be… but I was able to work and my best working days were usually around my chemo days. Not all chemo treatments are the same. Everyone assumes you’re going to lose your hair and look really sick – some people do, but some do not. My hair thinned. It was a rough treatment, but it wasn’t as debilitating for me as it is for some.

How are you day to day? Do you take medication? Every eight weeks I have immunotherapy, which I need to have for two years. It makes me tired, so I’m a bit more tired today as I had it two days ago, but on the whole I feel the healthiest I’ve ever felt, which is ironic.

How did you deal with telling people? I’ve always been a very open person; I think if you hold things in it gives you more stress, so all my immediate colleagues and friends knew straight away. But broadcasting to the whole company took

‘WHAT I HADN’T EXPECTED WHEN I WENT PUBLIC WAS THE OVERWHELMING RESPONSE OF KINDNESS AND SUPPORT’ 62 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020

me a few months to get my head around. We still find things like incurable illnesses and cancer great taboos, so I did experience instances of people not knowing how to react – the head tilt, the “I’m so sorry”. I understand that people want to show compassion, but it actually made me feel worse. What I hadn’t expected when I went public was the overwhelming response of kindness and support. Strangers I hadn’t met and probably never will who shared their experiences.

You’ve said the best advice you’ve had is to speak up and bring your whole self to work. How do you do that when going through personal trauma? I’ve thought about this a lot – in part because it’s incredible how many people have come up to me since I shared my story and told me that they are living with X, Y

Text © Susan Riley / Stylist Magazine Photographs Getty Images

Yes. I went in on that Monday knowing it wasn’t good news. But I looked around me and thought how lucky I am. I have family, friends, a good job. Many are not in the same position. I’m lucky I had the support.


PROFILE

and Z and nobody knows. I go back to the question: what does that do to you? I have a girlfriend who’d been diagnosed with breast cancer and hadn’t told her boss and chemo was looming. I asked her: “What’s the fear here?” She’s self-employed and she said the fear is, “Maybe I won’t get the work”. But I said, “How much stress is that putting on you?” When she told her boss, they were, of course, unbelievably supportive, and that weight was lifted. And I think there have been very artificial divides about work and life, to do with the way institutions were created – it’s almost military; don’t show weakness or vulnerability. But it’s not real. Most people will have to deal with illness or grief and they’re going to need help and compassion. We need to help people live their best lives. We only get one shot at this.

Is the work-life divide an issue for everyone, or do women feel it more? It starts with everybody. There are still taboos in the workplace. Very few people talk about having an incurable illness because it could be perceived as a sign of weakness. A man in my Facebook group for FL (Nicola is currently co-admin of the Facebook group, Living with Follicular Lymphoma) is in his 30s, and the only person who knows is his wife because he fears he’ll be passed over for promotion. There’s an onus on leadership teams to normalise this stuff, and create a workplace where people feel that they can be their authentic self.

‘WE HAVE SO MANY CONVERSATIONS IN OUR HEADS ABOUT THE THINGS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAPPEN’ tougher on ourselves. We have so many conversations in our heads about the things that may or may not happen that we don’t have the actual conversation in the first place for fear of the 65 things that might happen, but probably won’t.

How have you allowed yourself to heal without losing your sense of ambition and purpose? Everyone has good days and bad days, right? For me, work has always been about learning, doing things I enjoy and playing to my strengths. If I’m doing all of that, then I feel like I’m in the right place. That’s not to say I don’t worry, of course I do. There’s this thing with cancer called scanxiety – that fear of a big appointment and discovering it has come back. But what I hear from people who are more advanced than me is that it gets more normal; that you can live with cancer and have whole days where you don’t think about it. I’m not at that stage yet – but I take inspiration from the people who tell me I can get there.

How do you cope when fear does set in? Sheryl Sandberg [Facebook’s COO] gave me great advice when I was diagnosed. She said, “Whatever you do, don’t do the secondary worrying.” Secondary worrying is basically going straight to: “Now I’m dead, and my children are without me”. A huge amount of energy goes into that and we do ourselves a lot of damage. As soon as I see that happening, I shut it down.

How has your illness changed what you want to achieve? I have never been one of those people who’s mapped out how their career is going to be. [But] I practise vision writing where I’ll sit and work out what I want to do next year against my personal life, my family, my business goals and the community. My parents brought me up with the Jewish saying “Tikkun olam”, which means: “You’ll live the life you give back to others”. So that’s always been a part of my DNA. A lot of people think about their work the most, and not about the effort they put into their relationships or the moments that matter.

What is your advice on regaining control?

How is that achieved? You have to show vulnerability. Which is changing, but it’s glacial. [To your other point], as women we are much

The Follicular Lymphoma Foundation, founded by Nicola Mendelsohn, is the first charity to focus solely on helping people with follicular lymphoma (FL) to live well and get well.You can follow the foundation on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.You can also join the conversation across all channels using the hashtag #CureFL

I do think about this a lot. I heard a great speaker talk about climbing Everest, which seems like an overwhelming, impossible task, but of course the planning takes place months before. Break down the job into small, achievable parts: read about it; get fit; buy the tickets; get to base camp, then to first camp. Every day, you make singular decisions. With cancer, it’s like: “Okay, what can I do?” I can research; I can book an appointment; I can go and see friends to calm me down. Put yourself in control of the things you can control.

Are you still an optimist? Yes. Definitely. I have always looked up every day and tried to see something different. Think how lucky we are to have the things we do and see. Whatever is going on in the world – and my goodness, there is a lot – I’m very hopeful.

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EXPERT ADVICE

Working through a life crisis

Everyone will face personal trauma at some point during their career. We ask the experts how to cope when things get tough DIVORCE OR RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN FIONA BUCKLAND, life coach “I advise five steps for dealing with divorce. First, give yourself permission to feel your feelings. Then do some emotional first aid, which can be exercise or sleep. Even if you can’t sleep, make sure you’re resting because trauma jangles the nerves. Try something called ‘constructive disclosure’, which might be talking to a counsellor or a good friend, but crucially not someone who will just say ‘Bastard!’ and top up the prosecco. Realise you’re at a crossroads – and understand it’s how you respond that matters. Finally, get in touch with your over-arching life principles. Very often we give up parts of ourselves to be in a relationship. Well, here’s the opportunity to get in alignment with what you truly want. And act on it.”

HELEN BARTIMORE, Occupational psychologist “It’s important to acknowledge that divorce is a significant life event. It’s still trauma. So much of our identity can be wrapped up in a relationship, it has all sorts of implications for our sense of self. You need to be mindful of giving yourself enough time to reflect on that change. Do things that bring you joy. This could be more time with friends and family or alone. And seek some support in a professional environment – talk about what’s happening.”

BEREAVEMENT FIONA BUCKLAND “Grief can hit at any time. But if you find yourself trapped in the same place emotionally for weeks and weeks – angry all the time, depressed all the time – then your grief might have become stuck. In that case, go and see a counsellor. At these times in your life, it’s difficult to know what you want or need. At work, it might be hard to focus and you might find yourself making mistakes. Suspend the inner critic that tells you to just get on with it. Also, consider how you can move forward in a way that’s in line with your values. For me, connection is really important. For someone else it might be creativity. Look to what you value to find what you need.”

SERIOUS ILLNESS FIONA BUCKLAND “Like many, I imagine that I’m going to continue like I was when I was 30 for the rest of my life, and then maybe die in my sleep. And that’s not the case, of course. We all encounter illness. Adjusting to your new reality, whatever that may be, is key. It’s very easy for the body to become medicalised [defined by the illness] when we become sick – yoga nidra is a good way to counter this. You literally lie down – relaxed, warm, safe – and listen to the body. Then think about where you want to put your energy moving forward. People ask me a lot about ‘time management’ and what they’re really talking about is energy management – we all have a certain amount of energy, yours might just be less now. So, where do you want to put it?”

HELEN BARTIMORE

HELEN BARTIMORE

“It’s useful to consider the KüblerRoss grief cycle. The first stage is shock; the second is denial. Then there is usually anger, followed by depression and emotional bargaining. And, finally, acceptance. We can’t say, ‘Okay, this will take 12 months and by month three you’ll be at this point.’ People fluctuate. The most important thing is to be aware of where you are at, and what’s going to nourish you during that time.”

“Illness is a loss of an aspect of your health, like a bereavement. And you’ll grieve it, too. If you’ve begun to accept that loss, then going back to work can be good because it provides some ‘holding’ through structure and support. But have you ensured that you are communicating your needs to those around you? At least one person at work needs to know the full extent of what you’re going through and what’s necessary for you. There needs to be acknowledgment that you might behave differently and that’s okay.”

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‘YOU NEED TO BE MINDFUL OF GIVING YOURSELF ENOUGH TIME TO REFLECT ON THAT CHANGE. DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY’ 64 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020


CAREER

G d brief

Car r

WHAT’S NEW BY PHOEBE WATT

1

Greet your colleagues.

A bright smile and a cheerful “hello� as you enter the workplace sets the scene for a positive day.

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

BACK TO BASICS After a blissfully ͗—Â?ƤŽ–‡”‡† •—Â?Â?‡” break, levels of ’”‘ˆ‡••‹‘Â?ƒŽ‹•Â? …ƒÂ? •Ž‹’Ǥ ”‘‰ ‡…”—‹–Â?‡Â?– †‹”‡…–‘” ƒÂ?‡ ‡Â?Â?‡ŽŽ› •Šƒ”‡• Ƥ˜‡ –‹’• –‘ Š‡Ž’ ›‘— ‰‡– „ƒ…Â? ‘Â? –”ƒ…Â?Ǥ

2

Avoid the gossip trap. Be on

guard about being dragged into conversations that are gossipy and negative. The best move in these situations is to change the subject, or ideally, don’t engage at all. This approach will win you admiration and build trust.

3

Be on time.

Everyone’s time is valuable, so making a conscious effort to be punctual to meetings helps

‘T k

iti i

If ‘pressure makes diamonds’ was the catch-cry of your last slave-driver boss this information might be a little triggering, but a recent review of 145 empirical studies has proven that without constraints on the creative process, complacency sets in. On the other hand, tight deadlines, slim budgets and challenging briefs have been found to hone the focus of teams and individuals. It also forces them to come up with more innovative solutions than if they’d had ample time, resources and absolute creative freedom.

keep your reputation strong and signals that you’re respectful of your colleagues’ time.

4

Use your inside voice.

In an open-plan work environment, this is a biggie! Simply put, remember to keep your voice at an acceptable volume. A loud voice is not only distracting for those around you, it can be tiring having to filter it out all the time.

5

Give credit where it’s due. Remember

GA D G E T

GI R L Noel Leeming’s tech expert Jackie Smith answers your questions on working smarter. Q: What are some great tips to make using my computer easier?

A: For starters, we recommend ensuring that your data is always backed up. There are a few options out there, but when you’re busy and on the go the most convenient and easy to access is a cloud backup. If you struggle to remember all your passwords, a password manager will also come in handy. Number one for smooth computer usage though, is making sure your mobile device and tablet and/ or computer talk to each other. Whether it’s a new device or your current one, if you have questions or are unsure where to begin, we can help get you up and running. noelleeming.co.nz/ computer-tablet-set-up

that time you were responsible for a particular result, and your colleague happily took all the kudos? Don’t be that person. Share the win and praise the great efforts of others.

seriously, but not personally’ – Hillary Clinton FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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NEXT + FIBRE ONE

NEW YEAR’S resolution hacks Make a sweet start to 2020 with these smart swaps

SWAP THAT GLASS OF WINE… FOR A SPRITZER Did you know that one glass of wine contains up to 300 calories? Fill half your glass with soda water and you can still have a fun night out while you’re getting fit.

SWAP HITTING THE SNOOZE ALARM… FOR GOING TO BED ON TIME We’re all for New Year’s resolutions that you can enjoy keeping. Studies show that getting an extra hour’s sleep can improve your mood and memory, and help you lose weight. What’s not to like?

S WA P T H E L I F T … F O R T H E S TA I R S Promised yourself you’ll get more exercise this year? Add a micro workout to your day by taking the stairs instead of the lift. Lacking motivation? Just imagine there’s a brownie at the top!

SWAP INSTAGRAM… FOR A BOOK Step away from the cellphone! Feed your brain something a bit more nutritious. You’re so much more than a beautiful body. You’re fudging awesome!

SWAP A CAFÉ CARAMEL SLICE… FOR A FIBRE ONETM BROWNIE SQUARE So this is the year you’re going to watch what you eat? Take a good, long look at this fudgy, cakey, chocolatey deliciousness – then devour it and savour every guilt-free minute. It’s the ultimate after-dinner indulgence. Check out the delicious flavours at fibreone.co.nz


CAREER

G R O W I N G

INSPIRATION Catherine Bell is chair of the Garden to Table Trust, helping to inspire the way young Kiwis think about food. She shares her work perks and challenges MY JOB IN ONE SENTENCE: I’m an importer of products that primarily relate to cooking or serving food, and I’m chair of the Garden to Table Trust.

WHAT I ENJOY MOST ABOUT MY WORK: I love discovering the latest things and filling gaps in the market with new and interesting stuff. I challenge myself to find contemporary, exciting and totally sustainable products.

PERK OF THE JOB: Definitely the travel, which is essential to search out new products. I import from many countries – one I love the most is Morocco.

CURRENT CAREER GOAL: To slow down a bit, I’m trying not to take on new projects, although I’m obviously not very good at it as I have recently self-published a cookbook, Bounty – Cooking with Vegetables, to raise funds for Garden to Table.

MY WORK SPACE: I have a small, not particularly flash office, which is full of cookbooks and samples of goods I have found in the past year. I am a bit messy – work in progress is a pile on my desk.

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

HOW I UNWIND: Now it’s summer I head straight out to my vegetable garden to see what I can pick for dinner. I may pull a few weeds and do some watering where needed, which I find is a great de-stresser.

MY BIGGEST CAREER CHALLENGE: Being an employer. Not so much now but over the years, especially as a retailer I found staffing to be challenging.

DEALING WITH THE ‘CULT OF BUSY’: I feel strongly that phones and the internet have a lot to answer for when it comes to lowering productivity, so I try to

limit my use of these during work hours, which I find helps a great deal. I know I spend too much time on my phone after hours, though.

INBOX MANAGEMENT: I check my inbox regularly as I often have emails that need immediate responses, so the once-a-day system does not work for me. I’m good at deleting, but not so good at filing those emails that need to be kept.

THE CHANGE I’D LIKE TO SEE IN MY INDUSTRY: I think the biggest issue is packaging and the impact it has on the environment. A lot more work needs to be done to find alternatives to plastic and polystyrene, in particular. We still receive goods with both these materials and it makes my blood boil as it is so hard for us to dispose of them effectively.

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY: Difficult – I have never been driven by money, but sadly when I have it I like to spend it, so saving has never been my priority. Luckily, I have become better at saving as I have gotten older.

WORK VS LIFE: I love what I do so work is never a chore, well, almost never. But I am good about not working on weekends. That wasn’t always possible when I was a retailer so I really love and value my weekends now.

A WOMAN I ADMIRE: I really have to attribute my mother here with instilling in me the confidence to do what I did with my career. Her love of food is what inspired me to be first a cook, and then create several careers from there. She died when I was 17 and although she was a wife and mother first, as was usual in the 60s and 70s, she was a go-getter and managed to do lots of interesting things in her life. FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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Lifestyle

Clever ways to update your look, make over your mealtimes, and give your living space a stylish refresh

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all footprint, big g personality... an eco-friendly a urban chalet.

Sunny side up... how to keep the summer vibe ǡ Ǧ ǦƤ

126 Plant-based meals from MasterChef’s Matt Preston.

106 Flattering lip shades and fresh and fruity summer favourites. FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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ADD A POP OF COLOUR The return to work needn’t spell the end of summer fun. These uplifting looks will make every hour a happy one PHOTOGRAPHY MICHAEL JAMES ROOKE STYLING BENJAMIN ALEXANDER FOR THE FASHION DEPARTMENT

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FASHION

Cool crop

Bring a touch of colour to a more muted palette with a singlet and earrings in a sunny shade. Max jacket, $140. Wixii singlet, $135. Camilla and Marc skirt, $359. Witchery earrings, $64.90, and bag, $139.90. Mi Piaci heels, $230.

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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FASHION

Bold moves

A linen trouser suit is perfect for summer in the city and in a rich red shade you’ll turn heads. Witchery jacket, $299.90, trousers, $169.90, and earrings, $79.90. Zara bag, $39.90. Noir shoes, $180, from Hannahs.

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Go graphic

Striking black and white looks smart for work, but with a floral print and some colourful heels it still says easy breezy. Kowtow dress, $289. Witchery earrings, $64.90. Mi Piaci heels, $260.


Green scene

Slip something under your strappy dress to make it more suitable for the office. Pair with bright sandals to set the summer tone. H&M Studio top, $100. Country Road dress, $199. Witchery earrings, $79.90. Zara heels, $69.90.


FASHION

Make it match

This coordinating shirt and pants set allows for a subtle splash of colour. A simple white blazer adds sophistication. H&M Studio shirt, $100, and pants, $119. Zara blazer, $159. Mi Piaci bag, $380. Noir shoes, $180, from Hannahs.

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FASHION

Back to black

Pair your black outfit with a bright tote big enough to hold togs and a towel, so you can head for the beach at 5pm. Country Road skirt, $199, and bag, $279. Zara top, $45.90. Noir shoes, $220, from Hannahs.

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Golden glow

Fitted blazers are on-trend this season and are the perfect way to smarten up a silky dress so it’s boardroom ready. Wixii dress, $475. Country Road blazer, $399. Witchery earrings, $64.90. Mi Piaci shoes, $240.


Plaid it ou

Cropped pants and a floral scarf add a whimsical touch to a corporate casual look.

Zara cardigan, $45.90, and pants, $69.90. Max shirt, $120. Walmsley & Cole neckerchief, $85. Witchery boots, $279.90.


FASHION

Simple style

Pair loose black pants with a fitted white shirt and add the season’s coolest colour – a vibrant green.

Creative director Louise Thomson Hair and makeup Chay Roberts Model Maeve @ 62

Country Road shirt, $109. Kowtow singlet, $169. Seed Heritage pants, $169.90. Witchery scarf, $54.90. Noir shoes, $220, from Hannahs.

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On trend

Fashion is singing nature’s praises right now, with dreamy florals and light-as-air blues taking centre stage

Saben bag, $179.

Isaac + Lulu top, $299.

Witchery dress, $159.90.

H&M Studio earrings, $34.99.

Tip

V I N TA G E F L O R A L H&M dress, $60.

Merchant 1948 shoes, $209.90.

Ruby dress, $299.

Zara pants, $69.90. Sills dress, $399.

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FASHION

Juliette Hogan tunic, $429.

Lovisa earings, $18.

H&M Studio top, $59.99. Zara skirt, $69.90.

B A B Y

B L U E Aje bag, $340.

Photographs Angie Humphreys / Bauer Media Studios Styling Benjamin Alexander for The Fashion Department

Witchery jeans, $109.90.

Tip

Zara sh hortss, $69.9 90.

Juliette Hogan pants, $469.

Mi Piaci heels, $260. Kowtow dress, $299.

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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FASHION

C

A

R

R

I

E

D

AWAY

Get a handle on these new season beauties; both functional and fabulous, they provide the perfect finishing touch 2

1

4

6 5

1 Witchery bag, $109.90. 2 Deadly Ponies mini bag, $499. 3 Deadly Ponies bag, $599. 4 Zara bag, $45.90. 5 Witchery box bag, $109.90. 6 Mi Piaci bag, $380.

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Compiled by Benjamin Alexander for The Fashion Department Photographs Angie Humphreys / Bauer Media Studios Styling Archie Blohm

3


YOU HAD ME AT

Aloha! SUBSCRIBERS, AN EXCLUSIVE CHANCE TO WIN A TRIP FOR 2 TO HAWAI'I including flights, 3 nights' accommodation in Waikīkī and 3 nights' accommodation in Maui

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HURRY, COMPETITION ENDS FEBRUARY 29, 2020 *Terms and conditions apply. Competition commences January 13, 2020 and closes February 29, 2020 at 11:59pm. Entry is open only to New Zealand residents aged 18 and over, who are current subscribers (own, donor or recipient) to the following magazines: The Australian Women’s Weekly, NEXT, Woman’s Day, New Zealand Woman’s Weekly, New Zealand Listener, Good Health & Wellbeing, Lucky Break, Lucky Break Bumper Monthly, Your Home and Garden, North & South, Fashion Quarterly, Simply You, NADIA, HOME, Metro, Taste and Food. Not a subscriber? Subscribe before promotion period ends to be eligible to enter. Entry takes place online only at magshop.co.nz/winhawaii. Employees of Bauer Media Group (LP) NZ or Hawaiian Airlines, Marriott International, their affiliates, agencies and immediate families are ineligible to enter. No responsibility is taken for lost, misdirected or incomplete entries. Entries are limited to one per person. By registering their details, entrants give permission for Bauer Media Group (LP) NZ to post, email and mobile text message updates. The prize consists of a trip for 2 to Hawai’i, including 2 return tickets with Hawaiian Airlines from Auckland to Honolulu, O‘ahu and onto Maui, and 6 nights’ accommodation for 2 people (3 nights at Moana Surfrider, Waikīkī and 3 nights at Sheraton Maui Resort & Spa). All prize travel and accommodation will be subject to Hawaiian Airlines' and Marriott International’s general carriage and accommodation terms and conditions. The prize package must be taken as offered and is not exchangeable, transferable or redeemable for cash. Bauer Media Group (LP) NZ reserves the right to exchange any item with another item of greater value. Anything not specified in these terms and conditions as being included in the prize package is excluded. The winner will be contacted via email or phone by 6:00pm March 9, 2020. The promoter is Bauer Media Group (LP) NZ, Shed 12, City Works Depot, 90 Wellesley Street West, Auckland. Please visit magshop.co.nz/winhawaii for full competition terms and conditions.


FASHION

T H E S E B O O T S A R E M A D E F O R WA L K I N ’

R. M. WILLIAMS HAS LAUNCHED ITS FIRST COLLABORATION WITH MARC NEWSON – THE YARD BOOT 365. THE INFLUENTIAL DESIGNER HAS APPLIED HIS SLEEK, STREAMLINED DESIGN AESTHETIC TO ELEVATE AND RE-DESIGN THE ORIGINAL R. M. WILLIAMS GARDENER BOOT FROM THE 1950S.

PREMIUM QUALITY

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WHAT’S NEW

Newly launched, The Mercer Store is set to become the new local online destination for considered designer womenswear. Derived from the Old French word mercier and meaning ‘a dealer in textiles, especially silks’, the highly anticipated e-commerce boutique includes local Kiwi brands Georgia Alice and Wynn Hamlyn, as well as Australian footwear brand Mara & Mine. ‘—Â?†‡† „› ›†‹ƒ Â‹Â†Â†Â‹ÂˆÂ‘Â”Â†ÇĄ –Š‡ …—”ƒ–‡† †‡•‹‰Â?‡” Ž‹•– ”‡ƪ‡…–• Lydia’s minimalist taste. Core to her buying ethos is the longevity of each hand-selected piece, based upon colour palettes, classic cuts, versatility and quality. themercerstore.co.nz

BY MONIQUE MCKENZIE

Following Auckland International Airport’s recent expansion, boutique accessories brand Saben has opened a bricks-and-mortar store for travellers. The move follows the company’s recent foray into designer travel bags and carry-ons, including the Tilly wallet – the perfect travel companion ideal for passports, boarding passes and to separate different currencies. The store offers an opportunity for customers to pick up Saben products less 15%, thanks to tax-free shopping.

STAY CONNECTED To enable wearers to “stay connected, not distractedâ€?, Levi’s Jacquard by Google sees the Classic Trucker and Sherpa Trucker jackets cleverly embedded with tech functionality. Pair your phone with the small ƒ…“—ƒ”† –ƒ‰ –Šƒ– •‹–• ‹Â? ›‘—” …—ƥ ƒÂ?† ›‘— …ƒÂ? …‘Â?–”‘Ž –Š‡ Â?—•‹… ’Žƒ›‹Â?‰ in your headphones or give simple commands by using a few preprogrammed hand gestures. Available at Levi’s stockists nationwide.

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Photographs Getty Images and supplied

S T Y L I S H T R AV E L L E R


READER COMPETITION

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AN AUCKLAND ARTS FESTIVAL PRIZE PACKAGE THANKS TO FOUR POINTS BY SHERATON AUCKLAND

Limbo Unhinged Photographs by David Solm

From March 11-29, Auckland comes alive with a feast of dance, theatre, music, circus-cabaret and more as part of Auckland Arts Festival 2020. High fashion meets iconic fairy tale in Ballet Preljocaj’s darkly delectable Snow White, choreographed by Angelin Preljocaj, with costumes by Jean-Paul Gaultier. Angels, acrobats and dreamlike images create magic at the outdoor event of the summer, Place Des Anges. The popular Spiegeltent, supported by new festival sponsor Four Points by Sheraton Auckland, returns to Aotea Square featuring thrill-seeking circus-cabaret Limbo Unhinged (pictured). Located on Queen Street and just a short walk from Aotea Square, Four Points by Sheraton Auckland is the ideal base from which to kick back, relax and enjoy the festival and Auckland’s arts and entertainment scene. Enjoy farm-to-table dining at Queen’s Head Bar & Eatery and after-hours cocktails at rooftop bar The Churchill. The hotel also serves up a range of local craft beers under its signature Best BrewsTM programme.

THE ULTIMATE STAY PRIZE PACKAGE: • Two tickets to Limbo Unhinged on Saturday, March 14, 2020 • A two-night stay in a one-bedroom suite at Four Points by Sheraton Auckland • Breakfast for two at Queen’s Head Bar & Eatery • A $250 credit for use at Queen’s Head Bar & Eatery • A $150 credit for use at The Churchill • Gin tasting at The Churchill, value $150 • Flights for two to Auckland • Limousine transfers to and from Auckland airport TOTAL VALUE $4146

TERMS AND CONDITIONS: Entry is open only to New Zealand residents. Employees of Bauer Media Group (LP) NZ and Auckland Arts Festival, their affiliates, agencies and immediate families are ineligible to enter. No responsibilities are taken for lost, misdirected or incomplete entries. Entries are limited to one per person and the winner must be over 18 years old. This promotion commences on January 13, 2020 and ends February 9, 2020 at midnight. The winner will be notified on February 10, 2020 via phone or email. The prize package includes an Ultimate Stay prize package for two people at the Four Points by Sheraton Auckland is as stated. The prize must be used the weekend of March 13-15, 2020, with Limbo Unhinged tickets valid for Saturday, March 14, 2020, a $250 credit for use at Queen’s Head Bar & Eatery, plus breakfast for two, a $150 credit for use at The Churchill rooftop bar, a gin tasting at The Churchill, flights for two to Auckland to a maxiumum value of $1200, and limo transfers to and from Auckland Airport. This prize package must be taken as offered and is not exchangeable, transferrable or redeemable for cash. This prize cannot be on-sold or traded for cash. Anything not specified in these terms and conditions as being included in the prize package is excluded. The promoter is Bauer Media Group (LP) NZ, Shed 12, City Works Depot, 90 Wellesley St West, Auckland. Tickets are subject to Ticketmaster terms and conditions (aaf.co.nz/tc)

How to enter

Visit nowtolove.co.nz/ NEXT-AAF and enter your name, address and contact details by February 9, 2020 to be in the draw to win!

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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U R B A N

C H A L E T


A chance to share a block with their friends gave this young family the opportunity to create their unique, eco-friendly dream home


HOME

Salvaged items like this 1970s industrial lamp were found at the tip shop to add a cost-effective focal point.

I

t was 2008, while planning their wedding, that James and Bekk Crombie fell in love with yellow. “We were looking for an interesting colour for the bridesmaids’ dresses and bonbonnière,” says Bekk. “We went for a really warm, deep yellow. It looks so rich teamed with white.” The yolky shade has followed them through the birth of their three children, Beatrice, 10, BjØrn, eight, and 20-month-old Elsie, a couple of years living in Norway and back again to the house they built themselves. Here, visitors are welcomed by it at the front door and when they ring the doorbell. It’s the colour of the family’s bikes and the ladder that leads to James and Bekk’s loft bedroom. “Friends have started calling it ‘Crombie yellow’, because it pops up in everything we do,” says James. When it comes to personal touches, that yellow is just the tip of the iceberg. Everything in this house

A custom sofa and vintage finds add character in the TV nook.

Friends started calling it ‘Crombie yellow’ because it pops up in everything we do has been adapted and customised – right down to the land it sits on, which they share with their best friends, Nathan and Helen. The plan was hatched while the Crombies were living in Norway, where Bekk’s family is from. “I suggested it half-jokingly to our friends... but within a couple of weeks all four of us were actively looking at properties and finance options,” says James. “They would renovate a house and we would build another one – and we would all live together on the same block.” It was an idea that ticked many boxes for both families. “[It] gave us a chance to live ‘small’,” James says. “For similar money we could’ve had a triple garage mansion an hour up the motorway… but instead, we have a five-minute walk to school, the train, supermarket and parks, and enough of a garden to grow veggies.” Many would baulk at living in such close proximity of their friends, but these guys were confident they could make it work. “Nathan and I have been friends since we were eight, and Nat, Bekk and I all played in a band,” says James. “We had a bit of success a few years ago, before kids. So we knew we could work together.” They started making offers and struck lucky on their fifth go: a 600m2 corner block with a small 1950s

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»


The painting above the window is a collaborative piece the Crombies made by all painting the same vase.


To one side is the open-plan living space, which has large glass doors that open onto the garden.

house, which Nathan and Helen would renovate and move into with their two kids, plus space for James and Bekk to build. That said, the block couldn’t be subdivided, so their ‘house’ would need to fit the specifications for an ancillary dwelling – aka a granny flat. Ultimately, they got approval for 78m2 and just one storey – but the couple were up for the challenge. Bekk, an architecture graduate, describes designing her own house as a dream. “We’ve always lived in a compact way.” James agrees. “At one stage in Norway we were living in a 55m2 boathouse and it really suited us,” he says. The Crombies planned the project with three key criteria in mind – build an environmentally friendly home to a tight budget that maximised

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their small space. According to Bekk, the most central concept of the home is reverse-brick veneer – a method where bricks are used for the interior as they naturally regulate temperature far better than other materials. The house is positioned to make the most of wind for ventilation and the sun for warmth, and is divided into two long halves. To one side is the open-plan living space (with TV nook, kitchen and dining area), which has extra space thanks to the high vaulted ceiling and large glass doors that open onto the garden. On the other side are two children’s rooms, bathroom, laundry and wardrobe, crowned by a mezzanine bedroom for Bekk and James, which is cleverly accessed by the yellow ladder. “In terms of materials, the brief was always,

Words and photographs Bauer Syndication

‘The home has an established feel that suits our tastes – that means it's easy-wearing’


‘This, or something similar,’ so there was room for creativity and flexibility,” says Bekk. “Luckily, James has such a keen eye.” James, a set decorator, sourced many of the elements used in the house. Clearly, repurposing old materials is a win for sustainability, and the character it adds to a new build is a huge benefit. “We didn’t want our home to look like it had just landed from outer space,” says Bekk. “It has a very established feel, and that suits our tastes.” There’s colour and texture everywhere, from the various timbers whose shades will evolve as they age, to kitchen cupboards given a lick of green chalkboard paint so the kids use less paper. “I don’t do it often enough, but when you have a moment to relax, it’s a feast for your eyes,” Bekk exclaims. A lack of time to sit still is understandable given that just after moving in, the Crombies discovered they were expecting again, with their third child Elsie arriving one and a half years ago. Would Bekk have designed something bigger had she known they would become a family of five? “No, it just works,” she says. “I’m pretty content.”

The wooden toy boat mounted on the wall in the kids’ bedroom is a sweet reminder of Norway.

*

The taps were powder coated in the same ‘Crombie yellow’ used throughout the home.

An artwork by James, who is a visual artist, is displayed in the loft master bedroom.

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HOME CittĂ cushion cover, $79.90. Green with Envy enamel pendant light, $135.

Freedom Furniture throw, $99.

Freedom Furniture cushion, $44.95.

G E T T HE L OOK

The Design Store, vintage map, $69.99.

Kmart dinner plate, $2; and side plate, $3.

Mocka rackk, $69.95.

Forma Gibson New Zealand-made sofa, $4011.

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The Warehouse artificial fiddle leaf plant, $40, and glazed pot, $10.

Photographs Supplied pplied

Freedom Furniture stool, $179.

Take a few style notes from the Crombie family’s build with these beautiful touches


Surprisingly affordable That’s freedom.

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Salamander coffee table

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HOME NEWS

‘gram we l e Christchurch’s Julia Atkinson is an interior designer and blogger with an eye for whimsical, colourfilled designs. Inspired by her surroundings, friends and family, she shares her journey throughout New Zealand and features the work of local artists. @studiohome

Fr d FINDS

Elayna Foster, Freedom’s Visual Merchandising Manager, talks about texture and explains what terrazzo can bring to a home’s interior.

WHAT’S NEW BY SIMONE MOMBERG

A LOCAL SUCCESS Hawke’s Bay brand Real World was developed by Kiwi mum of four, Nicola Mossman as she searched for gentle, natural products for parents to use every day. Finding her hands cracked and sore after the constant dishwashing and cleaning that comes with family life, she created her own range of plant-based cleaning and care products to help do the job. Made in small batches, using only the highest quality ingredients, Real World’s minimalist packaging is so stylish the range is stocked at some of the country’s top luxury lodges. realworldnz.com

C H E E R S TO T H AT While the festive season is seen as the time to bring out the good plates and all your fancy glassware, there’s no rule to say it’s now time to pack them up for another year. Keep the beautiful stemware on hand to toast those special little moments throughout the year, because the small wins deserve celebrating too. If you’re ơ ǡ these mouth-blown rippled champagne saucers from Danish design company Ferm Living will add a dynamic, edgy twist to celebrations. $89 (set of two); slowstore.co.nz

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and texture to your living spaces?

A: Texture adds visual and tactile

appeal; it’s the magic that makes a living space pop. Textures can be used to determine a specific design style and play such a big part in dictating how a room feels – influencing its warmth, tone and weight. They stop a room from falling flat and bring everything together.

Q: What does terrazzo add to surfaces and flooring?

A: Terrazzo is an artisanal decorative surface with a sophisticated finish, providing an alternative to granite and p cconcrete. Its speckled nature is visually aappealing and versatile, and it can add great g texture and interest to spaces and objects. There are so many colour and material options with terrazzo too. While it has been on the scene for a c couple of years, we can look forward to y its continued revival this year.

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

H e

Q: Why is it important to add detail



FACING FORWARD

When an impossibly youthful A-list celebrity of a certain age proclaims to have never gone under the knife, it’s easy to put it down to good acting. But as Melissa Williams-King finds, the market is flooded with less-invasive treatments that promise the results of cosmetic surgery without the pain, price tag or prohibitive recovery times. She talks to some of the country’s top skin and appearance medicine experts about the treatments gaining traction and what the future of anti-ageing holds 96 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020


BEAUTY

Dermal filler

The cartoonish pouts and pillowy faces we’re accustomed to seeing on certain reality TV shows give dermal filler a bad rap – so says Caci clinical director Brandy Wehinger, a registered nurse for more than 13 years. “The more we’ve learned about ageing and how contours change in the face, the more we have seen how dermal fillers provide a safe and effective solution to enhance facial contours, define features, smooth folds and lines as well as plump up lips and cheeks,” she says. She attributes the popularity of fillers to two key things: more knowledge about the safety profile of products (Caci use hyaluronic acid, which can easily be dissolved) and more examples of injectables giving a natural look. THE DETAILS Caci’s dermal filler has an anaesthetic to minimise discomfort. The injection process is quick and the needles are small and fine. “Most customers describe it as being a bit uncomfortable rather than painful,” says Brandy, who adds that some bruising and swelling is expected afterwards but this usually subsides in three to five days. Full results can be seen at three to four weeks, and depending on the product and your metabolism, will last from eight to 24 months.

PRP therapy

PRP (platelet-rich plasma) is becoming more and more popular, reports The Face Place’s Dr Catherine Stone, a global trainer for Botox, filler and PRP treatments with nearly 20 years of experience in her field. This injectable treatment, which harnesses the healing power of your blood by concentrating its platelets, is effective for improving scarring and delicate, crepey skin around the eyes, neck and chest. Often overlooked but a dead giveaway of a person’s age, the backs of hands are an increasingly popular target for PRP, “And I’m also using it more to reverse hair thinning,” says Dr Stone, whose clinic has popularised treatments that combine PRP with other injectables. To improve skin texture, density and glow, she recommends Cellular Matrix PRP, which blends PRP with hyaluronic acid, a naturally occurring substance in the skin that improves hydration and stimulates collagen and elastin production. This injectable combination can also be directed into specific ligaments and fat pads in the face, to give a gentle lift that improves gradually. For a triple treat, there’s Cellular Hydrate Plus, which contains the first two (PRP and hyaluronic acid) as well as microbotox. “This is administered

‘WE HAVE SEEN HOW DERMAL FILLERS PROVIDE A SAFE AND EFFECTIVE SOLUTION TO ENHANCE FACIAL CONTOURS DEFINE FEATURES SMOOTH FOLDS AND LINES’ through a special mesogun, which allows for very tiny amounts to be injected superficially in the skin.” THE DETAILS PRP at The Face Place costs $795/vial while Cellular Matrix PRP is $1045/vial. Cellular Hydrate Plus costs $1200/vial with 10 units of Botox included in the price. After PRP, you will have some skin redness. Dr Stone says this can easily be covered by mineral makeup and will not require any downtime. With microbotox, there is no recovery time. LOOKING AHEAD Botulinum (the toxin present in Botox and its equivalents) is being constantly reimagined, with products coming into market that are longer acting and that work faster. Some are said to start working within 24 hours, lasting a month. Dr Stone adds that cosmetic medicine practitioners are also playing with new ways of using Botox. In Asia, it’s injected into the shoulder and calf muscles to slim and refine the muscles. “These areas do take significant amounts of Botox,” she says.

Skin treatments

“One of the biggest trends in appearance medicine right now is combining skin treatments to create a personalised plan,” says Caci clincial director Brandy, explaining that microdermabrasion, sonophoresis, peels and facials used in combination with more advanced treatments are an effective way to target specific concerns like pigmentation and scarring. As well as improved efficacy and results, she says this approach also typically ensures faster recovery times and healthier skin overall. The clinic’s most popular skin treatments are microdermabrasion and microneedling. The former stimulates the skin and increases cell turnover, promoting smoother texture and a brighter complexion, while the latter creates controlled inflammation in the skin to trick it into creating more collagen. It’s ideal for anti-ageing, hyperpigmentation and acne scarring. THE DETAILS: ‘Skin Health’ memberships at Caci start from $25 per week for regular skin conditioning treatments, and advanced skin treatments can be added at special prices.

»

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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BEAUTY

Thread lifts

Thread lifts are a growth area in cosmetic medicine thanks to a significant improvement in technology. A qualified head and neck surgeon who also works in facial plastics reconstructive surgery, Dr Pier Marzinotto from Skin Institute started using threads 14 years ago. They were problematic at first, he says, with sutures that did not dissolve and segments that could float around the face creating long-term problems. “But today’s modern threads are absorbable, and the only threads to be used safely and effectively,” he says. As well as lifting the face, modern threads also directly stimulate regeneration of collagen and elastin and promote cell renewal. While they dissolve within eight to 10 months, their lifting effects continue thanks to the collagen boost. The latest threads, created by thermal molding to make them more robust, cause fat tissue to contract, creating a skin-tightening effect. Best to address mild-to-moderate skin sagging and loss of elasticity, rather than heavy fat pads, more pronounced sagging or extremely thin skin, Dr Marzinotto says he performs about a dozen thread lifts per week, with increased interest from the 30 to 60 age group. An ideal interim procedure for those considering a surgical facelift in the future – or for those who would not consider surgery at all – he believes that at least as far as the non-surgical facelift category is concerned, threads are superior to fillers. “The durability is similar or longer to that of fillers, with a similar price point,” he says. “There’s also the added benefit of a more effective collagen boost, an increased lifting effect and a better safety profile.”

‘THERE’S ALSO THE ADDED BENEFIT OF A MORE EFFECTIVE COLLAGEN BOOS AN INCREASED LIFTING EFFECT AND A BETTER SAFETY PROFILE’

LOOKING AHEAD “Threads are constantly being perfected with new designs coming out in 2020,” says Dr Marzinotto. “On the horizon are some configurations that more effectively cater to brow lifts and even thread nose jobs.”

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Called Kybella in the US and popularised by Khloé Kardashian, Belkyra is an injectable treatment that dissolves fat in the jawline and neck, effectively removing a double-chin. Its popularity has been steadily rising in New Zealand since becoming available here two years ago. “It’s an excellent non-surgical method of fat reduction for those who want something gradual and not obvious” says Skin Institute’s Dr Sarah Hart, explaining that the treatment uses deoxycholic acid, a synthetic version of an acid found naturally in the body, to dissolve fat. The desired result is typically achieved in two to six treatments (“although the full six is rarely required”, says Dr Hart), and there are some side effects to consider, including swelling and a “ jelly-like” neck for a week or two. For this reason, Dr Hart says a lot of patients prefer to be treated over winter, when a scarf can be used to disguise any temporary swelling. THE DETAILS Belkyra at Skin Institute costs $2700 for the first two treatments and $1500 per treatment thereafter. Typically you’ll need around 20 injections. Your neck will be swollen for up to two weeks, particularly in the first 24 hours. LOOKING AHEAD Dr Hart says some doctors are already taking Belkyra beyond the neck, using it to treat other localised areas such as bra bulge. She says this is strictly an “offlabel” use, but could become an approved practice.

*

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

THE DETAILS The procedure is virtually painless thanks to local anaesthetic, although the injection can be slightly uncomfortable. The appointment takes from 30 to 90 minutes depending on the number of threads, a baseline procedure being six to eight threads on each side of the face. You will likely require a couple of touch-up threads within the first year, and then another couple in two years. A baseline procedure costs $2000 to $3000.

Belkyra


A RESOLUTION YOU CAN KEEP Have a free consultation and try a Microdermabrasion facial for $50* (usually $100) Plus, join a membership in January and be in to WIN your first year on us - one winner per clinic!**

WE’RE FOR YOU

*Offer valid for new customers only. Offer valid until 31.01.2020. Not redeemable for cash. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer. **Join a new membership between 1 Jan-31 Jan 2020 and go in the draw to win the the first 12 months of the membership. One winner per clinic. Excludes Amerase memberships.

caci.co.nz


Beautify your

walls

Nail your favourite colours to the wall and dress up your place with the latest on-trend colours from Resene.

P E TA L P O W E R

Resene Pink Ribbon

Resene Irresistible

Resene Candy Floss

Resene Roadster

Resene Poppy

Resene Perfume

Resene Vintage

Resene Rock Spray

Resene Strikemaster

Resene Salomie

Resene Alluring

PURPLE REIGN

Resene Sassy

Resene Centre Stage

Resene Smitten

SWEET BURN

Resene Code Red

Resene Smashing

Resene Daredevil

DAISY CHAIN

Resene Bluetooth

Resene Anise

Resene Wild Thing

For ideas, inspiration and advice come in and see us today at your local Resene ColorShop! Or shop for colour online: shop.resene.co.nz


BEAUTY

P E TA L P OW E R

IT N A I L E D

Compiled by Phoebe Watt Photographs Angie Humphreys / Bauer Media Studios Styling Archie Blohm

A nod to the tonal dressing trend, this season’s manicure is about keeping it in the colour family Option fatigue is a modern plague, but arguably you don’t know the meaning of the phrase until you’ve sat at a nail salon flicking through a book of swatches, deliberating between six or seven interpretations of so-called ‘true’ red. If you can relate, then have we got a nail trend for you. Dubbed the ‘tonal manicure’, the basic idea is to select five variations of the same shade and create a gradient effect across your fingers. For advanced players, peak visual harmony can be achieved by incorporating one slightly unexpected, but still complementary colour – think muted to offset bright, or vice-versa. The ideal opportunity to put those neglected nail polishes or near-dupes to use, explore possible combinations on a piece of paper until you’ve found the perfect palette for you, then get painting!

Sally Hansen Color Therapy in Love and Adorn, $18.

Mavala Nail Color Cream in Funny Coral, $10.

Mavala Nail Color Cream in Waikiki Orange, $10.

Revlon Colorstay Gel Envy in Pocket Aces, $22.

Essie Treat Love & Colour Nail Strengthener in Daytime Dreamer, $25.

OPI Nail Lacquer in Bare My Soul, $20.

Faby Nail Lacquer in Lobster Salad, $20.

Essie Treat Love & Colour Nail Strengthener in Lite-Weight, $25.

PURPLE REIGN

CND Vinylux Weekly Polish in Crushed Rose, $21.

OPI Nail Lacquer in Arigato from Tokyo, $20.

OPI Nail Lacquer in Another Ramen-tic Evening, $20.

SWEET BURN

Mavala Nail Color Cream in French Cancan, $10.

Tip

of e d a h s e l A sing sh can take nail poleiss new tones on endlayered over a when l oat of lighter base c d darker an polishes.

Faby Nail Lacquer in I Was Born Yesterday, $20.

Mavala Nail Color Cream in Nice, $10.

OPI Nail Lacquer in Summer Lovin’, Havin a Blast!, $20.

DAISY CHAIN

CND Vinylux Long Wear Polish in Taffy, $21.

OPI Nail Lacquer in How Does Your Zen Garden Grow?, $20.

Revlon Colorstay Gel Envy in Casino Lights, $22.

CND Vinylux Long Wear Polish in Exquisite, $21.

Sally Hansen Color Therapy in Shimmering Heart, $18.

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$19.99

The Mind Full 2020 Planner is an inspirational journal to help you discover your purpose, find inspiration, set goals, manage to-do lists and embrace creativity. Divided into four seasonal sections, it will help you find your flow and set you on the path to making 2020 your best year ever.

ON SAL E NOW


BEAUTY

M I R A N D A ’ S

secret

Model-turned-entrepreneur Miranda Kerr is fast turning her skincare line Kora Organics into a global empire. She tells NEXT why she’s trying to change the way people choose products and the rather alternative approach she takes with her own...

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

NEXT: What inspired your move from modelling into the skincare industry? MK: I want to use the voice and platform I have been given through my career as a model to help educate customers and get the message out that they need to be very aware of the ingredients contained in the products they use on themselves and their families – because the industry unfortunately is unregulated around the world. People are unknowingly using products that are harmful, and that doesn’t sit right with me. I wanted to create certified organic skincare that delivered super powerful results, while also being totally healthy to use. There is a misconception that organic is not as

powerful as more conventional products, but I believe that certified organic beauty (like Kora) is so much more powerful even than clean beauty. For example, not only are the ingredient crops not sprayed with pesticides or herbicides, the soil that they are grown in has to be nutrient-dense and not depleted by continual growth and harvest. This ensures a high antioxidant content in the ingredients we are using, which logically produces more powerful results. Our products do not contain any sulfates, parabens, synthetic fragrance or any other nasty chemicals and ingredients often found in skincare. Our products are not tested on animals; they’re tested on me – cruelty-free. NEXT: You’ve talked about your interest in crystal healing, aromatherapy and af mations in the past. How has that d an impact on what you do? : I personally believe in the healing n protective powers of crystals. Rose quaartz, for instance, is a pink-coloured crysstal gemstone that is believed to carr a very gentle, soothing energy to encouraage self-love, self-esteem and forgiveness. It is also said to have vibrations that can help heal and protect the heart. During th he compounding process of our

skincare products, the entire formula is filtered through rose quartz crystals, so the vibration of self-love flows through the crystals, into the products and on to our customers. By applying positive words on the back of each of our products, our intention is that the vibrational energy of the word has a positive effect on the user and can inspire positivity and uplift their spirit. It’s also a gentle reminder to take a moment out of your busy day to be present and mindful in all that you do. These are all just little personal touches I wanted to add to spread a little love and positivity and add a bit of magic to your day. The products are powerful and efficacious on their own. NEXT: What can we expect next from Kora Organics? MK: The past 12 months have been very exciting! We have expanded into more than 25 countries (including New Zealand). We also launched several new products, including our much-loved Noni Glow Sleeping Mask, two new lip products, the Noni Lip Tint and Noni Lip Treatment, our Sun-Kissed Glow Body Oil, plus our Noni Bright Vitamin C Serum. I’m working on some new formulations now, and I hope that Kora continues to pave the way for organic beauty.

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LANCÔME F O U N DAT I O N

LANCÔME HYPNÔSE M A S CA R A

This sheer coverage foundation evens out skin tone and lasts all day without feeling heavy.

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It goes on so lightly, but this mascara makes for dramaticlooking lashes, curling, as well as lengthening.

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Footwear designer Kathryn Wilson shares the beauty products she can’t live without

1 Lancôme Hypnôse Mascara, $60. 2 Moroccanoil Dry Shampoo, $44.50. 3 Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra Wear SPF15 Foundation, $73. 4 Coola Sunless Tan Dry Oil Mist, $79. 5 Olaplex No. 6 Bond Smoother, $55. 6 Davines Authentic Replenishing Butter, $49.50. 7 Dermalogica Phyto Replenish Body Oil, $99. 8 Aesop Resurrection Aromatique Hand Balm, $40. 9 Dermalogica Sound Sleep Cocoon Transformative Night Gel-Cream, $145. 10 Lancôme La Vie Est Belle EDP, $172 (50ml). 11 Dermalogica Age Smart Skinperfect Primer SPF30, $106. 12 Davines NouNou Shampoo, $37.70. 13 Coola Classic Body Sunscreen in Tropical Coconut, $55.

90422 Resene KALEIDOSCOPE Wallpaper Collection, $179.95 per roll.

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D E R M A LO G I CA P H Y TO R E P L E N I S H B O DY O I L It smells amazing and is just what my skin needs to stay hydrated through summer.

D E R M A LO G I CA S O U N D SLEEP COCOON A night cream that’s not just hydrating and brightening, the lavender and sandalwood essential oils also encourage a deep sleep.

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BEAUTY

COOLA S U N L E S S TA N Seventy percent organic and with built-in antioxidants, this light, dry oil mist is easy to apply and suitable for yearround tanning.

D AV I N E S A U T H E N T I C REPLENISHING BUTTER A beautiful rich cream designed to be used on the face, hair and body, this is always on my Christmas and birthday wish list.

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LANCÔME LA VIE EST B E L L E E A U D E PA R F U M

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Photography Angie Humphreys / Bauer Media Studios Styling Archie Blohm

Classic, fresh and playful – my favourite summer fragrance.

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COOLA CLASSIC B O DY S U N S C R E E N A handbag essential, this SPF30 sunscreen is perfect for protecting my arms and legs in summer dresses, as well as being safe to use on babies and children.

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BLOW ME DOWN If you’ve coveted a certain $600 hair dryer since it launched in NZ last year but can’t justify the price, consider this nifty little number from professional Italian hair tool brand, Gama. Touted as the world’s lightest hair dryer at 294 grams (compared to the Dyson Supersonic’s 560 grams), the new Gama Professional iQ Perfetto hair dryer is exceptionally efficient, impossibly quiet, and a relative steal at $458 from stylehq.co.nz

Just a watermelо

Beauty

WHAT’S NEW BY PHOEBE WATT

Hydrating and vitamin rich, watermelon isn’t just a sweet fruit treat, it’s good for your skin too. No wonder so many beauty brands are taking a bite of this trend. 1 Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow Sleeping Mask, $77; 2 L’Oréal Paris Wake Up and Glow Melon Dollar Baby Blush, $30; 3 Clinique Pop Splash Lip Gloss + Hydration in Rosewater Pop, $49; 4 Le Tan Watermelon Lotion SPF50+, $14; 5 St Tropez Watermelon Infusion Bronzing Mousse, $70; 6 Murad Hydro Dynamic 4 Quenching Essence, $164.

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CARE & SHEER

SHEER LIP STAINS AND TINTS WILL REMAIN FRONT AND CENTRE IN THE BEAUTY WORLD THIS YEAR. TWO NEW OPTIONS THAT DELIVER SOFT, DIFFUSED COLOUR THAT WON’T SLIP AND SLIDE OR SETTLE IN LIP LINES ARE REVLON’S KISS CLOUD BLOTTED LIPCOLOR, $22, AND YSL’S ROUGE PUR COUTURE THE SLIM SHEER MATTE LIPSTICKS, $69.


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Sunshine in a bo e

Designed to transport the wearer to warmer climes, ‘solar’ notes are the latest thing in fragrance – think bright citrus, fresh florals, a hit of coconut, and salty, woody undertones that evoke a day at the beach. 1 ISSEY MIYAKE L’Eau d’Issey Shade of Sunrise EDT, $195 (90ml).

2 MARC JACOBS Daisy Love Sunshine EDT, $119 (50ml).

5 DOLCE & GABBANA Light Blue Sun EDT, $110 (50ml).

3 TOM FORD Eau de Soleil Blanc, $215 (50ml).

6 BYREDO Sundazed EDP, $236 (50ml).

4 LANVIN A Girl in Capri EDT, $95 (50ml).

7 CLINIQUE My Happy Lily of the Beach EDT, $48 (15ml).

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

RAISING THE BAR We’ve trusted them with our brows and Brazilians for years and now, under the guidance of its ǡ ơ & On is branching into Botox. Launched into three Auckland ǡ ơ Ƭ ǯ new Botox Bar comes to Christchurch and Wellington this February, bringing with it a less-is-more philosophy that, alongside an innovative Botox Bank payment scheme, allows clients to purchase only the units they need, and ensures they’ll always look their believable best.

Natural. Different. Effective.

RISE AND SHINE Whether your weapon of choice is cosmetics, skincare or supplements, chances are chasing an ‘inner glow’ is high on your beauty to-do list. Now, the focus has migrated to our manes – but forget oily, heavy hair serums and look instead for light mists and sprays that deliver a weightless veil of luminosity. Suitable for all hair types, the following are particularly useful for greying hair, which often lacks natural shine. Tigi Bed Head Ƥ ǡ $25; L’Oréal Professionnel Tecni.Art Ring Light Shine Spray, $35; R+Co Neon Lights Dry Oil Spray, $56.

The sun-like marigold (Calendula Officinalis) is one of the best wound-healing plants of all. Extracts of marigold have been used sucessfully for centuries for their anti-inflammatory and soothing properties and are therefore used in many Dr. Hauschka products. Our Clarifying Day Oil restores oily, blemished skin to a state of balance. 100% certified, effective natural cosmetics. Different since 1967. www.drhauschka.co.nz



Nurture beautiful. N AT U R A L S K I N C A R E Do something good for yourself every day with our new certified natural skincare range. Gentle, nourishing skincare with the natural skin benefits of organic white tea and nature’s skin foods for beautiful, healthy skin at any age. Simple and easy to use, you can custom blend to suit your skin’s changing needs. We like to think of it as your skin’s friend for life. “For me, beautiful skin is healthy skin.” – BRIGIT

BLAIR, FOUNDER

Available at lindenleaves.com


W

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THE BENEFIT

Paleo, keto, low-carb, low-fat and more… If you’re choosing a weight-loss plan, the key is to be clued-up on the highs and lows of which diet is best suited to your particular needs. We’ve done some digging for you… so you can balance the options

T

his is the time of year that many of us decide to adopt a new eating programme. Indeed, it seems as a nation, we’re especially drawn to the idea. Last August the website Chef’s Pencil revealed New Zealand to be the fourth most diet-obsessed country in the world, with its analysis ofGoogleTrends search data revealing our interest in dieting to be at a five-year high. If you are embarking on a diet of any kind, it’s important to be aware of all the facts. The sheer number of available diets and their claims can make it difficult to decipher fact from fiction, as well as assess how suitable, sustainable and effective they are for improving our overall health. Some eating plans aim to curb our appetite, while others suggest restricting our intake of calories. Some experts say it’s as simple as listening to our bodies, while others encourage consistently sticking to whole, real foods. Let us guide you through some of the most well researched options, including intermittent fasting, plant-based, low-carb, low-fat, paleo and DASH.

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HEALTH

that restricted calories. Intermittent fasting is also considered d to be difficult to stick to.

PLANT-BASED

Conventional methods: INTERMITTENT FASTING Some proponents of this diet claim it helps you sleep better, as well as reach your weight goals. The strategy involves alternating periods of eating and fasting – meaning no food at all or very low calorie consumption. There are a few approaches: The 16:8 method – Perhaps the easiest and most popular, this limits eating to eight hours per day, eg 11am to 7pm. The fasting period allows you to burn through glycogen stores, giving your body more time to burn fat, and may also get rid of any extra salt, which will lower blood pressure. Periodic fasting – This restricts calorific food and drinks for 24-hour periods. Alternate day fasting – This requires severe calorie reduction every other day The 5:2 method – Fasting is done on two non-consecutive days per week. The minimum amount of time it takes to make fasting effective hasn’t been proven, but the prevailing notion is it’s between 12 and 18 hours. A recent study in rodents showed they got the same benefits fasting

five days per week as they did fasting every day. In a review of studies, intermittent fasting appeared to result in 3-8% weight loss over three to 24 weeks – significantly greater than other weight loss methods. The same review showed it may reduce waist circumference – a marker for harmful belly fat – by 4-7%. Other studies found intermittent fasting can increase fat burning while preserving muscle mass, which can improve metabolism. Intermittent fasting has also been linked to anti-ageing effects, increased insulin sensitivity, improved brain health, lower inflammation, and a reduced amount of fat in the liver. However, studies have shown that it is no more effective than a diet restricting daily calories. A study of 150 obese adults over 50 weeks showed that fasting two days per week prompted additional weight loss or cardiovascular benefits compared to a diet

Vegetarians and vegans restrict meat and animal products for health, ethical and environmental reasons. Most types of vegetarianism involve eliminating all meat, poultry and fish. Some vegetarians may avoid eggs and dairy. The vegan diet restricts all animal-derived products such as dairy, gelatin, honey and whey. Many of the restricted food groups are high in calories, so limiting them may help lose weight. A review of 12 studies including 1151 participants found people on a plant-based diet lost an average two kilos more than those who ate animal products. Plant-based diets likely aid weight loss because they tend to be rich in fibre, helping us stay fuller for longer, and are low in high-calorie fat. They’ve also been linked to reduced risk of chronic conditions such as heart disease, certain cancers and diabetes. A big reason for going plant-based is that it’s a more environmentally sustainable way of eating than a meat-based diet. However, it’s important to ensure you’re still getting plenty of the nutrients typically found in animal products such as iron, vitamins B12 and vitamin D, calcium, zinc and omega-3 fatty acids.

LOW-CARB Low-carb diets, including Atkins, keto, and low-carb, high-fat (LCHF), are among the most popular weight loss methods. Some reduce carbs more drastically than others. Very low-carb diets, like keto, restrict this macronutrient to fewer than 10% of total calories, compared with 30% or less for other types. Low-carb diets restrict carb intake in favour of protein and fat, which encourages your body to use more fat as fuel. They’re typically higher in protein than low-fat diets, which is important, as protein can help curb appetite, raise metabolism, and conserve muscle mass. In very low-carb diets your body begins using fatty acids rather

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than carbs for energy by converting them into ketones in a process called ketosis. A review of 53 studies with 68,128 participants found low-carb diets resulted in significantly more weight loss than low-fat diets. What’s more, low-carb diets appear to be effective at burning harmful belly fat. Research suggests low-carb diets may reduce risk factors for heart disease, including high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. They may also improve blood sugar and insulin levels in people with type 2 diabetes. In some cases, however, a low-carb diet may raise LDL (bad) cholesterol levels. Very-lowcarb diets can also be hard to follow and cause digestive upset in some people. In rare cases, following a very-low-carb diet may cause ketoacidosis, a dangerous metabolic condition that can be fatal if left untreated.

THE PALEO DIET

LOW-FAT DIETS In general, a low-fat diet involves restricting fat intake to 30% of daily calories. This is because fat provides about twice the number of calories per gram, compared with the two other macro-nutrients – protein and carbs. Ultra-low-fat diets derive fewer than 10% of calories from fat, with

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Dietitian Keri Glassman predicts the some 80% of calories coming from carbs and 10% from protein. Ultra-low-fat diets tend to limit meat and animal products. As low-fat diets restrict calorie intake, they can aid weight loss. An analysis of 33 studies with over 73,500 participants found a lowfat diet led to small but relevant changes in weight and waist circumference. However, while these diets appear to be as effective as low-carb eating plans for weight loss in controlled situations, low-carb diets seem to be more effective day-to-day. Low-fat diets have been linked to a lower risk of heart disease and stroke, and may also reduce inflammation and improve markers of diabetes. However, overly restricting fat can lead to health issues in the long term, as fat plays a key role in hormone production, nutrient absorption, and cell health.

THE DASH DIET The Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH) diet is a low-salt regime designed to help treat or prevent high blood pressure. It requires eating lots of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean

meats and is low in salt, red meat, added sugars and fat. While the DASH diet isn’t a weight loss diet, many people report losing weight on it. It recommends specific servings of different food groups. The number of servings depends on your daily calorie intake. An average person on the diet would eat five servings of veg, five of fruit, seven of healthy carbs like whole grains, two of lowfat dairy products, and two or fewer servings of lean meats per day. In addition, you’re allowed to eat nuts and seeds two to three times per week. An analysis of 13 studies found people on this diet lost significantly more weight over eight to 24 weeks than people on a control diet. The diet has been shown to reduce blood pressure and several heart disease risk factors. It may also help combat recurrent depressive symptoms and lower your risk of breast and colorectal cancer. While the diet may aid weight loss, there’s mixed evidence on salt intake and blood pressure. And eating too little salt has been linked to increased insulin resistance and an increased risk of death in people with heart failure.

Words Monique McKenzie Photographs Getty Images

This approach advocates eating the same foods that our hunter-gatherer ancestors allegedly ate. It’s based on the theory that modern diseases are linked to the Western diet, with proponents believing our bodies have not evolved to process legumes, grains and dairy. Paleo involves eating whole foods, fruit, vegetables, lean meats, nuts and seeds. It restricts the intake of processed foods, sugar and dairy, though some less restrictive versions allow for some dairy. Small-scale studies suggest paleo may help weight loss. A 2014 study of 70 women with obesity found following a paleo diet helped them lose weight after six months. However, after two years there was no difference in weight loss between those following the paleo diet and those following Nordic eating recommendations (primarily whole grains, fatty fish, legumes and vegetables), reported Medical News Today. The publication concluded more, larger-scale studies are needed to confirm paleo’s weight loss benefits. Research also suggests paleo may be more filling than popular diets due to its high protein content, and that it may reduce heart disease risk factors like high blood pressure, cholesterol, and triglyceride levels. While paleo does cut out lots of processed foods, it’s also restricts several nutritious food groups.


0RUH OHIW ÀHOG GLHWV BULLETPROOF COFFEE A high-calorie drink intended as a breakfast replacement, Bulletproof coffee consists of two cups of coffee, two tablespoons of grassfed, unsalted butter, and one to two tablespoons of MCT oil mixed in a blender. Created by Dave Asprey, it’s become increasingly popular among paleo and lowcarb dieters. Among other benefits, your triglycerides and weight drop while your HDL (good) cholesterol rises. Although the coffee’s high-fat content reduces appetite and provides energy, it lacks several nutrients. Grass-fed butter contains conjugated linoleic acid, butyrate and vitamins A and K2, but medium-chain triglyceride (MCT) oil is a processed, refined fat with no essential nutrients. If you eat three meals a day, replacing breakfast with Bulletproof coffee will likely reduce your total nutrient intake by about one-third. Butter also seems to be particularly effective at raising LDL (bad) cholesterol. One study in 94 British adults showed eating 50 grams of butter daily for four weeks increased LDL more than eating an equal amount of coconut oil or olive oil.

Another eight-week study of Swedish adults found butter raised LDL by 13%, compared with whipped cream. While the health effects of saturated fats are controversial, many health professionals still believe that high intake is a major risk factor for several diseases and should be avoided.

CACAO HUSK TEA Think of this tea as a rich, dark hot chocolate with no sugar, gluten and almost no calories. It’s a flavoursome option for anyone trying to manage calorie intake, but as a way to lose weight it’s still less researched than other methods. The flavonoids in cacao can prevent fat-like substances in the blood from clotting and improve blood vessel function. Cacao husk tea is also rich in theobromine, a naturally occurring compound found in tea leaves, and has a small amount of caffeine – both of which can help burn calories. Cacao husks are the outer shell of the cacao bean previously discarded in the chocolatemaking process, but have been used in South America for centuries. Cacao husks absorb nutrients from the beans

themselves and, as a result, the tea contains vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B5, C and E plus iron, zinc and calcium. It’s rich in antioxidants which help to reduce the risk of inflammation and disease. Cacao is said to be one of the highest plant-based sources of magnesium, important for regulating muscle and nerve function, blood sugar levels, blood pressure and making protein, bone and DNA. The theobromine in the tea causes blood pressure to drop quickly due to the widening of blood vessels. It blocks phosphodiesterase enzymes and increases the activity of a messenger called cAMP. This messenger activates PKA, an enzyme which reduces inflammation and increases stimulation.

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flexitarian diet will be this year’s biggest diet trend 7KH IXWXUH RI GLHWLQJ THE FLEXITARIAN DIET ‹‡–‹–‹ƒÂ? ‡”‹ Žƒ••Â?ƒÂ? ’”‡†‹…–• –Š‡ ĆŞÂ‡ÂšÂ‹Â–ÂƒÂ”Â‹ÂƒÂ? †‹‡– ™‹ŽŽ „‡ –Š‹• Â›Â‡ÂƒÂ”ÇŻÂ• „‹‰‰‡•– †‹‡– –”‡Â?†ǥ ƒÂ?† …Žƒ‹Â?• ‹– …‘—Ž† ‡˜‡Â? ƒ†† Â?‹Â?‡ ›‡ƒ”• –‘ ›‘—” Ž‹ˆ‡Ǥ ‘”‡ ƪ‡š‹„Ž‡ –ŠƒÂ? ‘–Š‡” ’ŽƒÂ?Â–ÇŚÂ„ÂƒÂ•Â‡Â† †‹‡–•ǥ ‹– ‹• ‡••‡Â?–‹ƒŽŽ› Œ—•– ƒ …ƒ–…Š› ™ƒ› ‘ˆ ”‡ˆ‡””‹Â?‰ –‘ ƒ ÂŠÂ‡ÂƒÂŽÂ–ÂŠÇŚÂ…Â‘Â?•…‹‘—• ’‡”•‘Â?ƒŽ‹•‡† †‹‡–Ǥ ĆŞÂ‡ÂšÂ‹Â–ÂƒÂ”Â‹ÂƒÂ? ‹• •‘Â?‡‘Â?‡ ™Š‘ ‹• Â?‘•–Ž› ˜‡‰ƒÂ? „—– ™Š‘ ‘……ƒ•‹‘Â?ƒŽŽ› ‡ƒ–• Â?‡ƒ– ‘” Ƥ•ŠǤ Ž–‹Â?ÂƒÂ–Â‡ÂŽÂ›ÇĄ ĥ ˆƒ” ĥ †‹•‡ƒ•‡ ’”‡˜‡Â?–‹‘Â? ƒÂ?† Ž‘Â?‰‡˜‹–› ƒ”‡ …‘Â?…‡”Â?‡†ǥ Â?‘–Š‹Â?‰ „‡ƒ–• ƒ ’ŽƒÂ?Â–ÇŚÂ„ÂƒÂ•Â‡Â† †‹‡–Ǥ Â‡ÇŻÂ˜Â‡ Â?Â?‘™Â? –Šƒ– ˆ‘” •‘Â?‡ –‹Â?‡Ǥ Š‡ Â?‡™‡•– ƒ††‹–‹‘Â? •‹Â?’Ž› Â•Â–ÂƒÂ–Â‡Â•ÇĄ ‡š…Ž—†‹Â?‰ Â?‘”ƒŽ ”‡ƒ•‘Â?• ƒÂ?† ’”‡nj‡š‹•–‹Â?‰ …‘Â?†‹–‹‘Â?•ǥ ‡Â?ŠƒÂ?…‹Â?‰ ƒÂ? ‘–Š‡”™‹•‡ ˜‡‰ƒÂ? †‹‡– ™‹–Š Ž‹Â?‹–‡† Â?‡ƒ– ‹Â?–ƒÂ?‡ Â?‹‰Š– „‡ ƒ†˜‹•ƒ„Ž‡Ǥ Š‡”‡ ƒ”‡ Â?‘ Â…ÂŽÂ‡ÂƒÂ”ÇŚÂ…Â—Â– ”—Ž‡• ˆ‘” –Š‡ ĆŞÂ‡ÂšÂ‹Â–ÂƒÂ”Â‹ÂƒÂ? Â?‘†‡Žǥ ĥ ‹–ǯ• ƒ Ž‹ˆ‡•–›Ž‡ …ŠƒÂ?‰‡ ”ƒ–Š‡” –ŠƒÂ? ƒ †‹‡–Ǥ – ‡Â?…‘—”ƒ‰‡• ‡ƒ–‹Â?‰ Â?‘•–Ž› Â˜Â‡Â‰Â‡Â–ÂƒÂ„ÂŽÂ‡Â•ÇĄ ÂˆÂ”Â—Â‹Â–ÇĄ Ž‡‰—Â?‡• ƒÂ?† ™Š‘Ž‡ ‰”ƒ‹Â?• „—– ƒŽŽ‘™• ˆ‘” ’”‘–‡‹Â? ƒÂ?† ƒÂ?‹Â?ƒŽ ’”‘†—…–• ‹Â? Â?‘†‡”ƒ–‹‘Â?ÇĄ Â?ƒÂ?‹Â?‰ ‹– ƒ Â’Â‘Â’Â—ÂŽÂƒÂ”ÇĄ Ž‡•• •–”‹…–

ƒŽ–‡”Â?ƒ–‹˜‡ –‘ ˜‡‰ƒÂ?‹•Â?Ǥ ‘” ‹Â?•–ƒÂ?…‡ǥ ™Š‡Â? ›‘— ™ƒÂ?– –‘ Šƒ˜‡ ‡‰‰• ‘” ƒ ’‹‡…‡ ‘ˆ Â‰Â”ÂƒÂ•Â•ÇŚÂˆÂ‡Â† •–‡ƒÂ? ƒ– ƒ ”‡•–ƒ—”ƒÂ?–ǥ ›‘— …ƒÂ?Ǥ ĆŞÂ‡ÂšÂ‹Â–ÂƒÂ”Â‹ÂƒÂ? ƒ’’”‘ƒ…Š …ƒÂ? ƒŽ•‘ Š‡Ž’ ƒ……‘—Â?– ˆ‘” –Š‡ Žƒ…Â? ‘ˆ Â?—–”‹‡Â?–• •‘Â?‡–‹Â?‡• Â?‹••‹Â?‰ ‹Â? ˜‡‰ƒÂ? ƒÂ?† ˜‡‰‡–ƒ”‹ƒÂ? †‹‡–•Ǥ

COGNITIVE DIETS Â?‡ ‡š…‹–‹Â?‰ ’”‡†‹…–‹‘Â? ”‡‰ƒ”†‹Â?‰ –Š‡ ˆ—–—”‡ ‘ˆ †‹‡– –”‡Â?†• ‹• –Šƒ– ”ƒ–Š‡” –ŠƒÂ? ˆ‘…—•‹Â?‰ ‘Â? ™‡‹‰Š– Ž‘••ǥ ™‡ ™‹ŽŽ –—”Â? –‘ ‡ƒ–‹Â?‰ ’ŽƒÂ?• ƒ‹Â?‡† ƒ– ‹Â?’”‘˜‹Â?‰ •’‡…‹ƤÂ… Š‡ƒŽ–Š …‘Â?…‡”Â?• Č‚ •‹Â?‹Žƒ” –‘ –Š‡ †‹‡–Ǥ ’‡”•‘Â? –ƒÂ?‹Â?‰ —’ ƒ †‹‡– ™‹–Š –Š‡‹” …‘‰Â?‹–‹˜‡ ™‡ŽŽ„‡‹Â?‰ ‹Â? Â?‹Â?†ǥ ˆ‘” ‡šƒÂ?’Ž‡ǥ ™‘—Ž† †‘ ™‡ŽŽ –‘ …‘Â?•‹†‡” ƒÂ?–‹nj‹Â?ĆŞÂƒÂ?Â?ƒ–‘”› ˆ‘‘†• –Šƒ– …‘Â?–”‹„—–‡ –‘ ƒ Š‡ƒŽ–Š› ‰—– …‘Â?Â?—Â?‹–›ǣ ›‘‰Š—”–ǥ …Š‡‡•‡ǥ †ƒ‹”› ƒÂ?† Â?—–•Ǥ ‡•‡ƒ”…Š •—‰‰‡•–• ’ŽƒÂ?Â–ÇŚÂ„ÂƒÂ•Â‡Â† ÂˆÂ‘Â‘Â†Â•ÇĄ ‡•’‡…‹ƒŽŽ› ‰”‡‡Â?ÇĄ Ž‡ƒˆ› Â˜Â‡Â‰ÇĄ Â?ƒ› Š‡Ž’ •Ž‘™ …‘‰Â?‹–‹˜‡ †‡…Ž‹Â?‡ ƒÂ?† ƒ”‡ –Š‡”‡ˆ‘”‡ Ž‹Â?Â?‡† –‘ „‡––‡” „”ƒ‹Â?’‘™‡”Ǥ ÂƒÂŽÂ‡ÇĄ •’‹Â?ÂƒÂ…ÂŠÇĄ …‘ŽŽƒ”†• ƒÂ?† „”‘……‘Ž‹ ƒ”‡ ”‹…Š ‹Â? „”ƒ‹Â?ÇŚÂŠÂ‡ÂƒÂŽÂ–ÂŠÂ› Â?—–”‹‡Â?–• Ž‹Â?‡ ˜‹–ƒÂ?‹Â? ÇĄ Ž—–‡‹Â?ÇĄ ÂˆÂ‘ÂŽÂƒÂ–Â‡ÇĄ ƒÂ?† „‡–ƒ …ƒ”‘–‡Â?‡Ǥ

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Making time

TO MOVE

In our busy lives it can sometimes be difficult to find time to exercise. We spoke to the mums behind the women’s wellness and fitness online platform Real Health NZ about how their programme is helping to keep women fit and healthy

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he Ministry of Health recommends five hours of moderate exercise per week to see real health benefits, and while some of us might already be disciplined about hitting that target, the statistics show that most of us struggle to get anywhere close. Renee Norman and Jenna Smith from women’s wellness and fitness website, Real Health NZ hold qualifications in sports science, personal training and health coaching, and through their business have helped hundreds of Kiwi women improve their exercise habits. We asked them about what works and what doesn’t.

Okay, so we’ve set the intention to get fit. Where do we start?

Our biggest tip is to ditch the all-ornothing attitude and embrace the idea that something is always better than nothing! Often we think that exercise needs to be exhausting, has to take hours out of our day and involve fancy gear, when that’s totally not the case. We’ve seen so many

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women set themselves up for failure by jumping into strict exercise programmes that demand too much time. The world that we live in today is incredibly fast, we are all so incredibly busy with demanding schedules and long to-do lists. Sustainable and consistent healthy habits are what get long-term results. Rather than jumping in head first, set small realistic goals, and then slowly move the benchmark out.

Why should mums make wellness a priority? As mums we all sometimes need reminding that without our health we’ve got nothing and we’re not able to keep on ‘giving’ to all

of those around us that we love so much. Many mums believe that, by caring for themselves, they are taking something away from their families. In our opinion this couldn’t be further from the truth – taking time out for your wellbeing as a busy mum is not selfish, it is a necessity. If you struggle with this thought pattern, then think about it this way – you are not prioritising your wellness above your family, you are prioritising your wellness for your family because it allows you to be the best version of yourself. It doesn’t need to mean bubble baths, hours at the gym or going to a hot yoga class. While all those things would be lovely,


NEXT+ REAL HEALTH NZ

‘IT’S ALL ABOUT FINDING SOMETHING THAT YOU LOVE AND FITS IN EASILY WITH YOUR LIFESTYLE’ the reality is that for the majority of mums it is not possible. But what is possible is a 20-minute home workout, a healthy lunch or a relaxing 10 minutes listening to a meditation before bed. It’s the little things that can make such a big difference.

What are the key types of exercise we should be focusing on? We always say any form of exercise is good exercise. It’s all about finding something that you love and fits in easily with your lifestyle. Exercise needs to be something you look forward to, not dread. We also encourage women to listen to their bodies and to exercise in the way that their body is telling them to on any given day. For example, if you wake up and feel energised, then maybe a sweat-dripping workout might be the perfect way to start the day. Or, if you’re feeling a bit stressed, then maybe it’s restorative exercise that your body needs. There are no rules when it comes to exercise.

Do you have any tips for how to fit exercise in around a busy life?

Photographs Ashlee DeCaires

Embrace the chaos! While it would be lovely to have exercise as ‘me-time’, with four kids under three between us, we know all too well that sometimes it’s just not possible. It’s just about embracing the chaos and getting it done. Our top tip for exercising with little ones is to get them involved. The best thing about that is that you’re teaching them the importance of looking after themselves and their bodies too. There is something pretty special about that.

We’re off to a good start, but how do we stay on track throughout the year? Our best advice for keeping accountable is to find yourself a wellness buddy – someone who you can trust to motivate and support you in nailing that goal. Social support is such a powerful tool, especially on those days when your mind is trying to talk you out of that workout.

What are some subtle changes we can make to sneak more movement into our daily life? Schedule it in! The saying ‘Failing to plan is planning to fail’ is so true. Schedule movement into your calendar and treat it like you would any other appointment. You wouldn’t not show up to a doctor’s appointment, right? Shift your mindset and think of your exercise appointments as being just as important, because they are. We also recommend increasing your incidental movement. We know it sounds a bit cliché, but taking the stairs instead of the lift, walking to get the milk instead of driving, or parking at the furthest carpark at the supermarket are all fantastic bouts of incidental movement.

What are your tips for getting the whole family involved? Make it fun! Crank up the music, have a dance party and enjoy it. It’s a great way to connect with each other, have a laugh and get in some movement. Backyard cricket, beach volleyball, a family walk or bike ride – the key is to get everyone doing something active every day, because something is better than nothing. There are so many fun, free ways to get active with your family and that’s often when the best memories are made. Find Real Health NZ at realhealthnz.co.nz; Facebook – @realhealthnewzealand; and Instagram – @realhealthnz

JUST SAY WE DO FALL OFF THE WAGON, HOW DO WE GET BACK ON? Don’t give up when you muck up! Women are often so hard on themselves and when one little thing goes wrong, we can often beat ourselves up and feel like we’ve ruined it. From there, sometimes feelings of ‘It’s not worth it to keep going’ or ‘I’ll just start again on Monday’ can creep in. We encourage our clients not to be too hard on themselves and to accept the fact that there will be days when prioritising healthy habits is easy, and that there will be other days when it just seems impossible. If you have a bad day, don’t throw everything in the too hard basket, because your health is incredibly important.

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F E R T I L E

GROUND

Since its introduction, more than eight million children have been born through IVF. We look at what the modern fertility landscape looks like in New Zealand and what’s yet to come BY MARIA HOYLE 116 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020


REPORT

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est tube babies. It was a startling term when the world first heard it – conjuring up visions of wee humans growing inside cylinders. Some people weren’t just startled, but outraged. What physiologist Robert Geoffrey Edwards and obstetrician Patrick Steptoe were working towards in the late 1960s – the fertilisation of an egg outside of a woman’s body – was deemed ‘unnatural’, science meddling in God’s work. One British magazine, Nova, said test tube babies were the biggest threat since the atom bomb. And then it happened. The ‘meddling scientists’ produced a healthy baby. Lesley Brown had suffered years of infertility before undergoing in vitro fertilisation (IVF), where an egg was removed from one of her ovaries and combined in a lab dish with her husband’s sperm to form an embryo. This was transferred to her uterus a few days later. On July 25, 1978 she delivered a little girl, Louise, at Oldham General Hospital in the UK. Louise was the first IVF baby in history – and the birth of hope for millions of women and couples around the globe.

IVF IN NEW ZEALAND New Zealand was in the first wave of countries to implement IVF. Just five years after Louise was born, Dr Freddie Graham started the first IVF clinic at National Women’s Hospital in Auckland’s Greenlane. Four years later, Dr Graham and Dr Richard Fisher set up the country’s first private IVF clinic, Fertility Associates, from a house in Remuera. And today, they remain right on top of new developments. “We’ve had it all, pretty much, all along. We like to be fast followers from a technology standpoint,” says Dr Dean Morbeck, Scientific Director at Fertility Associates, which last year celebrated its 20,000th birth. More and more New Zealanders are seeking fertility treatments, largely because we’re starting families later in life. In the 1970s, the median age a woman had her first child was 25; in 2017, it was 30, with more women than ever before having children when they are over 35 years. The biggest impact on fertility is age. Young women without fertility problems have about a 25% chance of having a baby

if they try at the right time of the month. By the time they’re 37, this drops to about 12%, then down to 5% at 42.

THE MISCONCEPTIONS “It’s not that there’s some bad element going on that’s causing more infertility; it’s just societal change,” says Dean. One thing to clear up, he insists, is the notion that women are choosing to have a baby when it’s convenient. “Everyone wants to frame this around ‘making a decision to wait’, when in fact it’s about life circumstances. It’s why we have so many women of 35 or 40 going through IVF. When you look at studies that ask why do women need to go through fertility treatment later in life, for the large majority it’s not because they chose to wait to have children, it’s that they didn’t find a suitable partner in their earlier years.” Another game-changer is the ability to freeze your eggs for later. There are also

Dr Dean Morbeck, Fertility Associates

stimulation to increase the number of eggs available. When the eggs have matured, they are collected and frozen. When you want to use the eggs, they are thawed, and the IVF cycle continues.

A NUMBERS GAME “The more we see – from patient advocacy, from social science studies – the more we believe that, all in all, egg freezing seems to be a good thing. Because women get to provide themselves with a bit more reproductive freedom,” says Dean. In the US, tech companies and even the military have offered egg freezing free as an incentive to get more women of child-bearing age into the workforce.

ONE OF THE GREAT ADVANCES OF RECENT YEARS IS PEOPLE HAVING MORE OPTIONS ABOUT WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR BABIES more women and same-sex couples seeking the help of fertility services. While demand is growing, we also have a shortage of donors for sperm and eggs. That’s because, unlike in the US, it’s illegal to pay donors anything beyond covering their expenses. “That’s the area that will continue to challenge us in New Zealand,” says Dean. The good news is the chance of a positive outcome is on the rise. Thirty years ago, a couple’s chance of having a baby through assisted reproduction was around 15%; now it’s around 50% thanks to great strides in technology, and vastly improved knowledge.

THE FREEDOM One of the great advances of recent years is people having more options about when they have their babies. However, that opportunity does come with a side of complexity – and egg freezing is a perfect example. Egg freezing involves retrieving a woman’s eggs and freezing them for a later date. Treatment starts with ovarian

But of course it’s not that simple. “There are some risks associated with having ovarian stimulation and egg retrieval,” says Dean. “We’re good at keeping the risks to a minimum, but we can’t say it’s zero. Just like with any health procedure. Financial is the second risk – spending money on something you might not need. We also can’t say for sure the eggs will turn into a baby. Some women will be unhappy if they’re not successful when they come back to use them.” With egg freezing, success depends on two variables: how old the woman is when she freezes her eggs, and the number of eggs. “The more eggs she freezes, the better. Some may not respond as well to the stimulation and produce fewer eggs. Biology is not predictable.” Dean says where it makes most sense to freeze eggs is in the 30-35 range, for women over 35, it’s viable too, but more eggs are needed for success. Luckily, as with much in the fertility arena these days, there are other

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REPORT

FAST FREEZING

advances that take some of the guesswork out of the equation. A simple blood test for the hormone AMH – the Anti-Mullerian Hormone – can give an estimate of the number of eggs left in a woman’s ovaries, to have an idea of when she will lose fertility. “Some women always have a low ovarian reserve, and it’s not a sign they’re heading towards menopause,” says Dean. “But for some women, it’s one piece of evidence that suggests menopause.” So yes, it’s a numbers game. But of course it’s so much more than that, because fertility is where science intersects with people’s hopes and dreams. Which is why it’s talking that is key. “We try to do a lot around counselling; we give additional information all the time, to reframe, to make sure the chances are clear to the patient.” Dean’s advice to young women? That they speak to a fertility specialist early. And that they have their ovarian reserve tested. He stresses it’s important young women know egg freezing is an option, and that there’s a discussion around it.

A BETTER CHANCE When it comes to IVF, the science has been sprinting forwards. One of the most significant developments is something called Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). Where IVF mixes egg and sperm together, ICSI is much more targeted. An embryologist uses a microscope and highly advanced equipment to select a single sperm which is injected directly into the egg. This maximises the chance of fertilisation because it bypasses potential problems the sperm will have getting inside the egg. “It’s about getting the two dance partners together,” is Dean’s rather poetic description. ICSI may be just an acronym – but for many New Zealanders it has been life-

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Getting the dance partners together is one thing. Getting results from their liaison is another. And on that front, there’s more good news. “The biggest change I’ve seen in the past five years is moving more towards culturing embryos to the blastocyst stage [five to seven days after fertilisation – embryos that survive to this stage have a high implantation potential],” says Dean. “The biggest challenge we have for patients who make lots of embryos is picking out the best one [to transfer]. The more we can keep embryos healthy for longer, the more we can learn about them.” Not only can we get embryos to a more viable stage, but thanks to ‘vitrification’ – fast-freezing – the embryo stays intact. “For blastocysts, it means we don’t lose the embryos’ developmental potential by freezing them,” says Dean. It’s easy to get lost in the science, so let’s just take it back to what this technology means in practice. Preserving the potential of each and every embryo, rather than having to transfer a couple of embryos to the uterus just in case, is of crucial importance. “In New Zealand and Australia, we are leaders in terms of transferring single embryos,” explains Dean. Why single embryos? Because twins, “lovely as they are,” he says, can be fraught

with problems. With early delivery comes complications – there are more miscarriages and premature births. “We should encourage single embryo transfers.” Pre-implantation genetic screening (PGS) is yet another area that’s changing outcomes. The testing is essentially of two kinds: first, to see if the embryo will carry a disease; second, to check for an imbalance of chromosomes (a condition known as aneuploidy) that mean the embryo is more likely to miscarry. For normal embryos, birth rates from PGS can be as high as 65 to 70%. There has been debate around genetic testing for anueploidy (PGT-A) – the controversy caused by a fear that healthy embryos will be discarded because of false-positive results. Others also argue PGT-A can’t improve the likelihood of live births in IVF. However, Dean says that for older patients, or those with a lot of embryos, it’s of great value. “Imagine you are 40 and have 10 embryos. We know out of those only one or two are able to make a baby, but we can’t tell by looking at them. So for that group, genetic testing is priceless.”

A SAFE JOURNEY And finally, a pivotal advance that requires no machinery or ground-breaking drugs: the ability of fertility services, as a healthcare field, to focus on the emotional needs of individuals and couples. Because the journey can be long, difficult and expensive – and there are no guarantees. “It’s our job to make the journey as emotionally safe as possible,” says Dean.

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A FUTURE SNAPSHOT Time-lapse imaging and artificial intelligence (AI) are being introduced to fertility treatments.With time-lapse imaging, embryos are kept in an incubator that takes pictures every 10 minutes. “That means we handle embryos less and we get more information,” says Dean. But time-lapse imaging alone has a limitation. “As humans we’re limited in being able to process that info, to turn it into meaningful predictors of success.That’s where machine learning comes in.There are so many little things that are signals of viability when we look at embryos. AI can help us to balance all those bits of information.” Fertility Associates is in the early phases of developing technology, working with the University of Auckland.There’s other work being done that ties into this. A process called niPGT-A (non-invasive PGT-A) involves genetic testing for chromosomes that is not invasive for the embryo. It involves taking DNA from the culture medium (the artificial culture used to sustain the embryo in vitro) of the blastocyst. “Perhaps in the next few years we’ll be able to combine the two things to give the most powerful indicator of which embryo is best. The more predictive we can be, the better. It’s all about reducing the time to pregnancy, which is really important to minimise how much patients have to endure before they are successful.”

Photographs Getty Images

changing. It’s helped couples conceive where sperm quality was very low or where the testes were producing too few sperm. Or, whether due to genetics or having had a vasectomy, there were no sperm in the ejaculate.


Baby in

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If you have questions or concerns about your fertility, talk to us. Let’s make 2020 your year. Book a free fertility nurse consultation on 0800 10 28 28 or fertilityassociates.co.nz


Creative links Š‹• …‘—Ž† „‡ Â?—•‹… –‘ ›‘—” ‡ƒ”•Ǩ Š‡ ‘”Ž† ‡ƒŽ–Š ”‰ƒÂ?‹•ƒ–‹‘Â? Č‹ ČŒ Šƒ• Â‘ĆĽÂ…Â‹ÂƒÂŽÂŽÂ› labelled the arts as “crucialâ€? to reducing poor health. In a new study, the agency WHO compiled over 3000 studies published in the past 20 years focused on some form of ƒ”–‹•–‹… ƒ…–‹˜‹–› ƒÂ?† ‹–• ‡ƥ‡…–• ‘Â? Š‡ƒŽ–ŠǤ ‡› ƤÂ?†‹Â?‰• ‘ˆ –Š‡ ”‡•‡ƒ”…Š ‹Â?…Ž—†‡ …ƒÂ?…‡” patients who found that creating art or listening to music helped to reduce the side ‡ƥ‡…–• ‘ˆ –”‡ƒ–Â?‡Â?–ǥ •—…Š ĥ Â?ƒ—•‡ƒ ƒÂ?† †”‘™•‹Â?॥Ǣ ’ƒ–‹‡Â?–• ‡š’‡”‹‡Â?…‡† ”‡Žƒš‡† Â?—•…Ž‡• ƒÂ?† ”‡†—…‡† •–”‡•• Š‘”Â?‘Â?‡• ƒˆ–‡” †ƒÂ?…‹Â?‰Ǣ ƒÂ?† †‡Â?‡Â?–‹ƒ ’ƒ–‹‡Â?–• who practised singing found it helpful for cognitive function.

F O R G E T YO U R P H O N E If your dependence on devices has gone too far and you want help detaching and reconnecting with the real world then reach for Life Unplugged by Meleah Bowles and Elise Williams Rikard (Allen & Unwin, $32.99). This practical digital detox workbook comes with checklists, challenges and space to get creative.

Danger s snacking Every 90 minutes a New Zealander dies from heart disease. You might find it compelling then, that a new study by the American Heart Association (AHA) points to a seemingly innocent, all-too-common habit that correlates with the deadly disease: eating at night. Over the course of one year, the AHA studied the dietary habits of 112 women, including what they ate and when, looking for connections between heart health and the time of day participants reported eating. The study found that the more women ate in the evening, the more likely they were to be at risk of cardiovascular disease. Specifically, women who consumed more of their daily calories after 6pm were more likely to have a higher BMI and blood pressure, compared to women who ate less in the evening. It certainly makes a good case for an early dinner!

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WHAT’S NEW BY CASSIE BIRRER

TIME TO STRETCH A new study conducted by Boston University School of Medicine found that the slow, methodical movement common in Iyengar yoga might be more beneficial than other more fast-paced styles. The study included 32 participants between the ages of 18 and 65 who were previously diagnosed with major depressive disorder. The participants spent either 60 or 78 hours practising yoga and breathing, depending on their group. Within one month, both groups experienced better quality of sleep. Evaluations also revealed patients felt calmer and more positive overall. While the study did not include a non-yoga control group, the researchers believe that by providing evidencebased data, more individuals will be encouraged to try yoga as a strategy for improving their health and wellbeing.


HEALTH

Hear this

SWEET AS ¢ ǡ Ǥ Ǥ ¢ Dz Ǧ dzǡ ǡ Ǥ ơ Ǥ

Not so bad

A new study published in American Journal of Epidemiology suggests that eating a healthy diet may reduce the risk of acquired hearing loss. Using longitudinal data, researchers examined three-year changes in hearing sensitivities and found that women whose eating pattern more closely adhered to commonly prescribed healthful dietary recommendations had a substantially lower risk of decline in hearing sensitivity. “A common perception is that hearing loss is an inevitable part of the ageing process. However, our research focuses on identifying potentially modifiable risk factors – that is, things that we can change in our diet and lifestyle to prevent hearing loss or delay its progression,” says lead author Sharon Curhan. “The benefits of adherence to healthful dietary patterns have been associated with numerous positive health outcomes and eating a healthy diet may also help reduce the risk of hearing loss.”

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Research has found that those who have more bad dreams are better at controlling fearful emotions. The study involved two groups. For group ǡ Ǧ ǡ Ƥ involved in fear processing were activated during fear-related dreams. The second group of 89 individuals underwent functional MRI, which showed that higher incidence of fear in dreams was associated with reduced emotional arousal indicative of better emotion regulation during wakefulness.

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES? It might be time to dust off those board games! A 68-year-long study has now been published in the Journal of Gerontology showing that a higher frequency of playing board games was linked to higher cognitive functioning. More than 1000 people of the same sex, health and activity levels and education born in 1936 were tested for cognitive functioning at the age of 11, and then again from 70 to 79. The participants were asked to rate how often they played games such as crosswords or chess, between one (daily) to five (less than once a year or never). Those who played board games more often had sharper mental thinking compared to those who didn’t, or who started playing digital games later in life.


RESILIENCE

by Dr Lucy Hone Resil ie

Happiness?

nce TOOL KIT

PENCIL IT IN he one thing I loathe about this time of year is listening to everyone make pointless New Year’s resolutions. As a scientist I can’t help but wonder at the over-abundance of good intentions and the lack of knowledge about the psychological processes that enable long-term change to happen. If I sound cynical, that’s because I am. Writing this before the holidays, I’m waging a continual battle to keep burnout at bay. I’m a headless chicken staring at multiple tabs on my computer, endless chores on my list, the volume and diversity of demands on my attention threatening overwhelm and a paralysis of indecision. Thank goodness for the holidays. The problem, however, is that one annual break won’t fix my emotional, physical and behavioural malaise – in fact, research suggests the positive impact of a holiday only lasts somewhere between three days and three weeks. Apparently, ‘little and often’ is better than taking one long break. Furthermore, those who don’t take time off work are at a greater risk of burnout, more emotionally exhausted when they’re at work and, according to the Framingham Heart Study, at increased risk of heart attack. The secret to making 2020 live up to our dreams then, lies not in resolutions, but in careful annual planning. Let’s make a start right now. Grab a pen and write a list of the best things about last year. Instead of focusing on what you want to give up in 2020, think about what you want to do more

T

122 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020

of. Which moments, achievements, visits and family developments brought you alive last year? Which friendships, activities and occasions made your heart sing? Which bits do you wish you could relive time and time again? While the New Year’s resolutions of my youth regularly featured eating less, drinking less, not biting my nails and giving up cheese, these days I’m far more focused on what I want to do more of.

BREAK FREE Now is the time to make that happen. Looking at your list of 2019 highlights, take some time to consider, what will make 2020 a success for you? Posing this question helps us prioritise. Being more attuned to where, what and who makes my life good has enabled me to tick off some of DOC’s Great Walks, visit my ailing brother and his family regularly, experience some epic holidays with friends from uni, write a new book,

catch up with our family photo albums, and attend film and literary festivals. Knowing these are the things that count for me – noticing them in this explicit retrospective way – not only allows me to savour them (and therefore prolong their joy) but also makes annual planning enjoyable too. On this year’s list there’s Fat Freddie’s in February, walking on Stewart Island in March, a visit to Melbourne with old friends in April, a work conference in Iceland that I know will inspire me, hopefully a 21st or two, a yoga retreat and some dear friends’ 50ths. Roughly one standout event each month to look forward to and replenish my tanks. Burnout differs from stress in that it is a cumulative response. The result of a war of attrition, where previously highly motivated people wind up disengaged, disoriented and, for some, downright nasty. Taking regular breaks is among the known antidotes. Instead of making New Year’s resolutions, make plans. You’ll thank yourself as the months go by. As will your family, friends and colleagues.

*

Photograph Getty Images and supplied

The key to a good year lies in scheduling in regular breaks to do what you love, not resolving to ditch what’s bad for you, says Dr Lucy Hone. Don’t ban... plan!


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OCREVUS only needs to be given every six months after the first dose.1 If you’re one of the 4000 New Zealanders affected by MS, ask your doctor if OCREVUS is right for you. getonwithlife.co.nz/NEXT

Living your life your way with MS

1. Ocrevus (ocrelizumab) Consumer Medicine Information February 2018 http://medsafe.govt.nz/consumers/educational-material.asp

Ocrevus® (ocrelizumab), 300mg vial, is a Prescription Medicine used to treat relapsing forms of multiple sclerosis (RMS) and primary progressive multiple sclerosis (PPMS). Do not use Ocrevus if: you have had an allergic reaction to Ocrevus or any of the ingredients. Tell your doctor if: you have an infection, or a history of a recurring or long-term infection such as hepatitis B; you are taking or have previously taken medicines which may affect your immune system, such as other medicines for MS; you intend to have or have had immunisation with any vaccine; you are allergic to any other medicines or any other substances such as foods, preservatives or dyes; you are pregnant or intend to become pregnant; you are breast feeding or plan to breast feed. Tell your doctor immediately or go to your nearest Accident and Emergency Centre if you notice any of the following; swelling of your face, lips, tongue or throat with difficulty breathing; swelling of other parts of your body; shortness of breath, wheezing or trouble breathing; skin problems including rash, itchiness or hives; fever, flushing or chills; cough, throat irritation or pain; feeling tired; headache; dizziness or light headedness; feeling sick (nausea); fast heartbeat. Tell your doctor, nurse or pharmacist if you notice any of the following common side effects: signs of an infection such as fever or chills, cold sore, shingles or genital sores; stuffy nose or chest; thick mucus in the nose, throat or chest; persistent cough; difficulty sleeping (insomnia); diarrhoea, vomiting and/or stomach cramps (gastroenteritis). Ocrevus has risks and benefits. Ask your doctor if Ocrevus is right for you. Use strictly as directed. If symptoms continue or you have side effects, see your healthcare professional. For further information on Ocrevus, please talk to your health professional or visit www.medsafe.govt.nz for Ocrevus Consumer Medicine Information. Consumer Panel based on CMI dated 28 February 2018. Roche Products (New Zealand) Limited, Auckland. Phone: 0800 656 464. www.roche.co.nz. All trademarks mentioned herein are protected by law. PM-NZ-0400/NA10550/OCT2019

Deep.Ltd ROC00136

Ocrevus is a PHARMAC funded medicine from 1st December 2019 for patients with relapsing multiple sclerosis (RMS) who meet pre-defined criteria. Patients outside these criteria and with primary progressive multiple sclerosis (PPMS) will need to pay the full cost of this medicine. A prescription charge and normal doctor’s fees may apply.


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FOOD

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Full of flavour and contrasting textures, Matt Preston’s plant-based meals deliver maximum pleasure

The impossible vegan Caesar salad, page 131

126 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020


The #blessed bento bowl, page 131


Cauliflower steaks with red hummus, page 131


FOOD

‘It contains two of the most vaunted superfoods – one very 2017 (kale) and one very 1930s (grapefruit)’

The twofer salad, page 132 FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

129


Grilled plums with milky halloumi & rocket, page 132


FOOD

‘Food is not the enemy. It’s a friend, but a friend that, like all friends, you need to respect and not abuse. It needs to be loved but not obsessed over’

The impossible vegan Caesar salad SERVES 4 PREPARATION 10 MINUTES 1 baguette, thinly sliced diagonally Olive oil spray 2 garlic cloves, peeled 4 baby cos lettuces, leaves separated 1 x quantity carrot bacon (see note) 4 Brazil nuts VEGAN CAESAR DRESSING 300g silken tofu 2 small garlic cloves, crushed 2 tbsp nutritional yeast 1 tbsp capers, rinsed and drained 1 tsp mustard powder 2 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 To make the dressing, place all the ingredients in the small bowl of a food processor and process until well combined. Transfer to a bowl. 2 Preheat a barbecue grill on high. Spray both sides of the baguette slices with olive oil. Cook in two batches for

2 minutes each side or until the bread is golden and charred. Rub one of the cut sides with the garlic. Set aside. 3 Arrange the lettuce leaves, baguette croutons and carrot bacon on serving plates. Dollop with the dressing and finely grate the Brazil nuts over the top.

Note:

For the carrot bacon, peel 2 carrots into ribbons and spread out on 2 baking paper-lined trays. Brush with a mixture made of 1 tbsp each of olive oil, tamari or soy sauce, white miso, plus 2 tsp of smoked paprika. Bake at 170°C for 10-15 minutes, or until slightly charred.

The #blessed bento bowl SERVES 4 PREPARATION 15 MINUTES 300g silken tofu, cut into 2cm cubes 60ml ponzu sauce (found in larger supermarkets or Asian supermarkets) 335g (1½ cups) sushi rice, rinsed well 2 tbsp sushi seasoning 110g (1 cup) frozen podded edamame

150g snow peas, trimmed, strings removed 2 nori sheets, quartered 4 baby cucumbers, thinly sliced Pickled ginger, to serve 1 spring onion, white and green parts, cut into matchsticks Black sesame seeds, for sprinkling 1 Place the tofu in a shallow, flat-bottomed glass or ceramic dish (you want all the tofu to be submerged in the sauce). Drizzle with the ponzu sauce and set aside for 1 hour to marinate. After 30 minutes, carefully turn the tofu over. 2 Meanwhile, place the rice and 500ml (2 cups) of water in a saucepan. Bring to the boil over high heat, then reduce the heat to low and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes or until all the liquid has been absorbed. Remove from the heat, then cover and leave the rice to steam for 10 minutes. Fluff up the grains with a fork and stir through the sushi seasoning, then set aside to cool to room temperature. 3 Bring a saucepan of water to the boil. Add the edamame

and snow peas and cook for 1–2 minutes to heat through. Drain. 4 Place two nori quarters in each serving bowl to line half the bowl. Add the rice and top with the tofu and its marinade, edamame, snow peas, cucumber and pickled ginger. Sprinkle with the spring onion and sesame seeds, and serve.

Cauliflower steaks with red hummus SERVES 4 PREPARATION 15 MINUTES 2 tsp cumin seeds Juice of 1 lemon 60ml (¼ cup) olive oil Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper ͛͝ ȋ΁ΨΡ cup) currants Finely grated zest of ½ lemon 2 small heads cauliflower ΁ΨΡ cup flat-leaf parsley leaves

‘Personally, I think this bowl would be equally at home in one of those cafeterias or in a gorgeous lacquered wooden box’ FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

131


FOOD

1 Preheat a barbecue flat plate with a lid on medium–high. Combine the cumin seeds, 2 tablespoons of the lemon juice and 2 tablespoons of the olive oil in a bowl. Season well. 2 While your barbecue heats up, combine the currants, lemon zest, remaining lemon juice and remaining oil in a bowl. Season with salt and set aside so the currants plump up. 3 Cut each cauliflower into 1.5cm thick steaks, leaving the base intact (you will get about three steaks from each cauliflower). Brush the cauliflower steaks with the cumin mixture and place on the barbecue flat plate. Close the lid and cook for 5 minutes or until golden and nicely charred. Turn over and cook for another 5 minutes or until the cauliflower is tender and golden. 4 Meanwhile, make the red hummus. Blitz the capsicum and walnuts in a food processor until almost smooth. Remove half and place in a bowl. Add the chickpeas, garlic, tahini, harissa, cumin, lemon juice and ice cubes to the processor and blitz until almost smooth. With the motor running, add the oil in a thin, steady stream until smooth and well combined. Season with salt and pepper. 5 Add the parsley to the currants and toss together

132 NEXT / FEBRUARY 2020

‘I can’t remember why I called this the twofer salad. It could be because it’s named after a bloke called Christwofer, who did me a favour once’ well. Spread the hummus over serving plates. Top with the reserved capsicum and walnut purée, followed by the cauliflower steaks. Sprinkle with the currant mixture and serve.

The twofer salad SERVES 6 PREPARATION 20 MINUTES 2 red or pink grapefruits 2 tsp maple syrup 1 tsp Dijon mustard 60ml (¼ cup) olive oil Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 small red onion, sliced as thinly as possible 2 tsp caster sugar 1 tsp sea salt 3 leeks, trimmed and cut into 1cm thick coins 100g chopped kale leaves, massaged with a little olive oil to soften slightly 1 baby fennel bulb, very thinly shaved 1 Peel the grapefruits. Holding the grapefruit over a bowl to catch the juice, use a sharp knife to cut away the white pith and remove the fruit segments, cutting close to both sides of the white membrane. Once you have removed the segments, give the remaining pith a squeeze to extract the juice. Repeat with the remaining grapefruit. 2 Place 2 tablespoons of the

juice in a jug, along with the maple syrup, mustard and 2 tablespoons of the olive oil. Season with salt and pepper and whisk together. 3 Place the onion, sugar and salt in a bowl and add the remaining juice (you should have at least 2½ tablespoons). Mix until well combined, then set aside for 30 minutes to pickle, turning occasionally. 4 Heat the remaining oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the leek and cook for 4–5 minutes each side or until tender and slightly burnt around the edges. 5 Combine the kale and fennel in a serving bowl or on a plate. Drain the onion and add to the salad, then top with the grapefruit segments and charred leek. Drizzle with the grapefruit dressing and serve.

Handful of baby rocket leaves 400g halloumi, cut into 1cm thick slices 35g (¼ cup) hazelnuts, roasted and coarsely chopped 1 Preheat a barbecue grill on medium–high and a barbecue flat plate over medium heat. 2 Spray the plums with a little olive oil, then cook on the grill for 2–3 minutes each side so they get a good charring and soften, but still hold their shape. Remove and keep warm. 3 While the plums are grilling, whisk together the pomegranate molasses and olive oil in a jug. Season well. Toss the radish and rocket together in a bowl. 4 Carefully place a sheet of baking paper on the hot flat plate, add the halloumi and cook on one side only for 1 minute or until soft and milky. 5 Transfer the plums to a serving plate. Place the slices of halloumi partly on the plums. Drizzle over the dressing, then scatter over the rocket mixture and hazelnuts.

Grilled plums with milky halloumi & rocket SERVES 4–6 PREPARATION 15 MINUTES COOKING 10 MINUTES 6 plums, halved, pits removed Olive oil spray 2 tbsp pomegranate molasses 2 tbsp olive oil Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 2 radishes, cut in matchsticks

Edited extract from More, by Matt Preston (Pan Macmillan Australia, $39.99).

Photographs Mark Roper

RED HUMMUS (AKA MUHAMMARA) 150g roasted red capsicum 60g (½ cup) walnuts, toasted 400g can chickpeas, rinsed and drained 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 tbsp tahini 1 tbsp harissa 2 tsp ground cumin 2 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice 2 small ice cubes 2 tbsp olive oil Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper


? T I U R F E N O T S S ’ B E B RO T ’ N D L . U T O I T W U O H T I W R E M M U S

For the kind of fruit that tastes like summer, we go where the sun is. For Countdown buyer Grant Robinson, that means working with long-time growers like Rob Nichol of HR Horticulture in Napier – where the cold winters, long, hot summers and fertile soil present the perfect conditions for peaches, nectarines, plums and apricots. Of course for you, Rob’s Grower Fresh stone fruit are only as far as your nearest Countdown store, and available online.


Mini apple and cinnamon scrolls, page 137


FOOD

Once upon a time... These recipes are what fairytales are made of! Think cinnamon, chocolate and crisp walnuts Quick nut cake, page 137

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

135


Mini chocolate croissants, page 137

Edited extract from Fairytale Baking by Christin Geweke ($45, Murdoch Books).


FOOD

Mini apple and cinnamon scrolls MAKES 12 1½ cups (225g) plain flour 1 pinch salt 2 tbsp caster sugar 10g fresh yeast or 1 tsp active dried yeast ¹ΨΒ cup (80ml) lukewarm milk 1 tbsp butter, melted 1 egg FOR THE FILLING: 1–2 small apples, such as Granny Smith or Braeburn 2 tbsp chopped hazelnuts 1 tbsp lemon juice Seeds from ½ vanilla bean 1½ tbsp butter, plus 1 tbsp extra 1 heaped tbsp honey 2 tbsp caster sugar 2 tsp ground cinnamon FOR THE GLAZE: ²ΨΒ cup (85g) icing sugar About ¼ cup (60ml) apple juice

Photographs Yelda Yilmaz

ALSO: Butter, for greasing Flour, for dusting Milk, for brushing 1 Combine the flour, salt and sugar in a mixing bowl. Crumble or sprinkle in the yeast and dissolve in the lukewarm milk. Add the yeast milk, the cooled, melted butter and the egg to the flour mixture and knead everything together to make a smooth dough. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and

leave the dough to rise in a warm place for about 2 hours. 2 Meanwhile, peel, core and very finely dice the apples for the filling. Combine with the nuts, lemon juice and vanilla seeds. Heat the 1 tablespoon of butter in a frying pan. Add the apple mixture and cook for about 8 minutes. Stir in the honey and continue to cook until lightly caramelised, about 2 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat. Combine the sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl. Melt the butter. 3 Butter a 12-hole muffin tin and dust with flour. Alternatively, line the muffin holes with paper cases. Dust your work surface with flour and roll the dough out to a thin rectangle about 20cm x 36cm in size and 3mm thick. Generously spread the melted butter over the dough, all the way to the edges. Sprinkle the cinnamon sugar evenly over the butter, leaving a little margin along the top, long edge. Spread the apple mixture across and press in gently. Roll the dough up from the long side closest to you and cut the roll into 12 even slices. Transfer the slices to the muffin tin. Cover with plastic wrap and leave to rise for another 15 minutes. 4 Preheat the oven to 190°C. Brush the cinnamon scrolls with a little milk and bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes. Leave to cool to lukewarm before removing the scrolls carefully from the tins. Carefully slide a thin, sharp knife around the edges of the muffin holes and gently lift out the scrolls. 5 For the glaze, whisk the icing sugar into the apple juice and drizzle over the cinnamon scrolls.

Quick nut cake MAKES 1 CAKE ²ΨΒ cup (75g) walnuts 4 eggs, separated ½ cup (125g) butter, softened 125g caster sugar 125g ground hazelnuts 125g quark (40% fat) or Greek-style yoghurt Seeds of ½ vanilla bean ¼ cup (60ml) apple juice ½ tsp ground cinnamon 1 pinch salt ALSO: Butter, for greasing Flour, for dusting 4 walnut halves, for garnish 1–2 tsp brown sugar Icing sugar, for dusting 1 Preheat the oven to 180°C. Butter a 20cm springform tin and dust with flour. Invert the tin and tap lightly to get rid of excess flour. 2 Finely chop the walnuts. Whisk the egg yolks, butter and sugar until foamy. Stir in the ground hazelnuts, quark or yoghurt, vanilla seeds, apple juice and cinnamon. Add the salt to the egg whites and beat until stiff. Gently fold the egg whites and walnuts into the batter. 3 Spoon the batter into the tin, smooth the top and bake for about 40 minutes. Remove the tin from the oven. Top the cake with the walnut halves, sprinkle with brown sugar and bake for another 15–20 minutes. Use a toothpick to test for doneness. If the cake gets dark too quickly, move the tin to the bottom rack and loosely cover the cake with foil. 4 Leave the cake to cool briefly. Remove from the tin and set aside to cool completely. Dust with icing sugar to serve.

Mini chocolate croissants MAKES 12 100g dark or milk chocolate 80g low-fat quark or Greek-style yoghurt 40g crème fraîche ¼ cup (50g) sugar 1½ tbsp vanilla sugar ¹ΨΒ cup (75ml) milk 2½ tbsp canola or sunflower oil 1¹ΨΒ cups (200g) plain flour, plus extra for kneading 60g blanched, ground almonds 1½ tsp baking powder 1 pinch salt ALSO: Flour, for rolling 1 egg yolk, lightly beaten with a little milk 60g dark or milk chocolate 1 Chop the chocolate. Whisk the quark or yoghurt with the crème fraîche, sugar, vanilla sugar, milk and oil. Combine the flour, ground almonds, baking powder and salt and add to the wet ingredients. Knead until well combined. 2 Preheat the oven to 180°C and line a baking tray with baking paper. Roll out the dough on a lightly floured work surface until about 3mm thick. Cut out triangles about 12cm x 14cm x 14cm in size. Sprinkle the short side with the chocolate, roll up the triangles and shape them into croissants. Transfer them onto the baking tray and brush with the beaten egg. Bake for about 20 minutes. 3 Coarsely chop the chocolate and melt it in a bowl set over a saucepan of simmering water. Once the croissants have cooled, dip the ends into the melted chocolate. FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

137


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tŽƾůÄš LJŽƾ ĹŻĹ?ĹŹÄž ƚŽ ĹŹĹśĹ˝Ç ĹšĹ˝Ç ĆšĹ˝ ĆŒÄ‚Ĺ?Ć?Äž LJŽƾĆŒ Ć?ƾžžÄžĆŒ žĞĂů Ĺ?ĂžĞ Ä?ƾƚ Ć?Ć&#x;ĹŻĹŻ keep it family-friendly? First Light’s premium farm-raised venison range ŽĨ Ä?ĆľĆŒĹ?ÄžĆŒĆ?Í• Ć?Ä‚ĆľĆ?Ä‚Ĺ?ÄžĆ?Í• Ä?ĹšĹ?ƉŽůĂƚĂĆ? ĂŜĚ žĞĂƚÄ?Ä‚ĹŻĹŻĆ? ĹśĹ˝Ç ĆšÄ‚Ć?ƚĞ ĞǀĞŜ Ä?ÄžĆŠÄžĆŒ Ç Ĺ?ƚŚ ƚŚĞ ĂĚĚĹ?Ć&#x;ŽŜ ŽĨ Ĺ?ĆŒÄ‚Ć?Ć?ͲĨĞĚ tÄ‚Ĺ?LJƾ Ä?ĞĞĨ͘ dĆŒÇ‡ ƚŚĞ ǀĞŜĹ?Ć?ŽŜ Ä?ĆľĆŒĹ?ÄžĆŒĆ? Ç Ĺ?ƚŚ a slice of smoked cheese, caramelised onion and a beetroot relish, and they’ll be calling for seconds! Available from selected supermarkets, Moore Wilson and Farro Fresh; $12.99 T H E J OY O F S OY At this time of year there’s an abundance of fresh veg such as courgettes, crisp celery, capsicums, tomatoes and spring onions. A quick and easy way to get your 5+ is to whip up a healthy stir-fry with a splash of oil, chopped garlic and that special ingredient, Lee Kum Kee Premium Soy Sauce. Brewed using traditional Chinese techniques for more than 130 years, it adds richness, …‘Ž‘—” ƒÂ?† ĆŞÂƒÂ˜Â‘Â—Â” –‘ ƒÂ?› •ƒ˜‘—”› Â?‡ƒŽǤ $3.99 (500ml).

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WHAT’S NEW BY MICHELLE JOE

PRETTY IS AS PRETTY DOES That old adage ‘beauty is more than skin deep’ has never rung truer when it comes toYummy’s Hailstone Heroes nectarines. Hit by last October’s freak hailstorm in Hawke’s Bay, the baby fruit •—ƥ‡”‡† •Â?‹Â? †ƒÂ?ÂƒÂ‰Â‡ÇĄ „—– ‹– ‹Â? Â?‘ ™ƒ› ÂƒĆĄÂ‡Â…Â–Â‡Â† –Š‡ –ƒ•–‡ ‘” “—ƒŽ‹–›Ǥ Be a hero to our hard-working local growers and pick up a pack of one of summer’s sweetest, juiciest stone fruit. Available in Hunny, Classic and Pearl at New World, ƒÂ?ÇŻÂ? ƒ˜‡ ƒÂ?† ‘—” “—ƒ”‡ supermarkets. $8.95 (800g).

NEXT / )(%58$5<

FREE-RANGE & FAST

Looking for tasty meal ideas when time is short? Kiwi free-range farming collective George & Jo’s care about their chickens, and their poultry is 100% antibiotic free. Their Manuka Smoked and Tandoori Smoked Chicken breast comes in convenient resealable packs, and makes a tasty old-school pizza. Simply spread cranberry sauce over a bought pizza base, scatter on bite-sized pieces of the Manuka Smoked chicken, and dot with brie or camembert and mozzarella. Bake at 180˚oC for 25 minutes. The Tandoori flavour is great heated, cut into slices and eaten with plain yoghurt, baby spinach, chopped cucumber, and a fruit chutney in a rolled-up warm naan bread. $9.95 (300g).

LICKS TO LIKE

On a hot summer’s day, WaHiki’s frozen treats are just what the doctor ordered. Vegan, dairy-free and gluten-free, they tick all the dietary-requirement boxes - not to mention being super-tasty. New to the range is Boysenberry, made with boysenberry puree with no DUWLĂ€FLDO Ă DYRXULQJ RU FRORXULQJ $YDLODEOH DW VHOHFWHG 1HZ :RUOG DQG 3DN¡Q6DYH VXSHUPDUNHWV )URP PO ZDKLNL FR Q]


FOOD

LUNCH IN A HURRY SunRice’s new low GI range of brown and white rice is your go-to snack for sustained energy, simply add tuna or chicken, avocado and tomatoes for a delicious no-stress lunch in minutes. Available at Countdown and independent stores nationwide. $2.70 (twin-pack).

OLÉ, OLÉ DAY! ‹™‹ „—”‰‡” †‘Â?‡ ™‡ŽŽ ‹• ƒÂ? ‡ƒ•› dinner option and Wattie’s Classic —”‰‡” ÂƒÂ—Â…Â‡ÇĄ ™Š‹…Š –ƒ•–‡• ƒ ‰”‡ƒ– †‡ƒŽ Ž‹Â?‡ ƒ ˆƒÂ?‘—• „—”‰‡” …Šƒ‹Â?ǯ• •‹‰Â?ƒ–—”‡ †”‡••‹Â?‰ǥ Â?ƒÂ?‡• ‹– ‡˜‡Â? ‡ƒ•‹‡”Ǥ ‘” ƒ ‡šnj ‡š •’‹Â?ÇĄ –”› –Š‡ Â?‡™ Š‹’‘–Ž‡ ƒÂ?† ÂƒÂŽÂƒÂ’Â‡Ă“Â‘ ƒ—…‡ ‹Â? –Š‹• ‘‘† ‹Â? ƒ ‹Â?—–‡ …Š‹…Â?‡Â? „—”‰‡”Ǥ

Platter up A fuss-free way of entertaining is a grazing platter (see page 14) and Swiss Deli has a range of gourmet meats that cater to all tastes. It includes the Teeny Salamini, a bite-sized favourite, mild Mediterranean salamis, delicious pork sticks and a smooth, spreadable fine liver pâtÊ delicately spiced with parsley, pepper and onion that is packaged in a convenient chubb roll. From $5; swissdeli.co.nz

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Tex-Mex crumbed chicken burgers SERVES 4 COOKS 20 MINUTES 400g chicken tenderloins Âź cup Wattie’s Chipotle & Green JalapeĂąo Burger Sauce, plus extra for spreading 1½ …—’• …”—•Š‡† Â?ƒ–—”ƒŽ …‘”Â? …Š‹’• 4 poppy seed brioche buns ‡––—…‡ Ž‡ƒ˜‡• 1-2 tomatoes, sliced

Š‡”Â?‹Â?•ǥ ™‡ —•‡† Â… Ž—”‡ǯ• ‹…Â?Ž‡• 1 Dip the chicken tenderloins in Âź cup of Wattie’s Chipotle & Green JalapeĂąo Burger Sauce, then coat in the corn chips. Place on a tray and refrigerate for 10 minutes. 2 Preheat oven to 200°C (fan bake). Place the chicken on a baking paper-lined baking tray. Bake for 20-25 minutes until cooked, turning halfway through cooking. 3 To assemble the burgers, cut the buns in half and toast if wished. Spread the bases with a generous amount of burger sauce. Top each bun with lettuce, tomato, pickles and chicken. Top with the bun lid. TIP: Chill the crumbed chicken tenderloins before cooking to ensure the crumb sticks to the chicken.

Drinks and nibbles go hand in hand with long lazy days, and it’s always good to have a clean eating option in the pantry in case of dietary needs. Hill Street Wholefoods Seed ”ƒ…Â?‡”• Ƥ– –Š‡ „‹ŽŽ Â?‹…‡Ž›Ǥ —•– ƒ†† Â™ÂƒÂ–Â‡Â”ÇĄ Â?‹šǥ ”‘ŽŽ ‘—– ƒÂ?† „ƒÂ?‡ –‘ Â?ƒÂ?‡ –™‘ –”ƒ›• ‘ˆ …”ƒ…Â?‡”• –Šƒ– ƒ”‡ ˆ”‡‡ ‘ˆ ‰Ž—–‡Â?ÇĄ ”‡ƤÂ?‡† •—‰ƒ” ƒÂ?† Â†ÂƒÂ‹Â”Â›ÇĄ ƒÂ?† ƒ”‡ Â?‡–‘ ƒÂ?† ˜‡‰ƒÂ?ÇŚÂˆÂ”Â‹Â‡Â?†Ž›Ǥ ”‘Â? •‡Ž‡…–‡† •—’‡”Â?ƒ”Â?‡–• ƒÂ?† ”‡–ƒ‹Ž‡”•Ǥ $10.99; hillstwholefoods.co.nz

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FOOD

Cumulus efect Happy anniversary to Alpha Domus, the family-owned vineyard and winery in the Bridge Pa Triangle that marked 30 years in the wine industry late last year. It’s quite a milestone for the Ham family and was feted with new branding for their wines, including the popular Beatrix Sparkling Rosé, and the return of its Cumulus Methode Traditionnelle. The Cumulus 2017 was awarded five stars by The Listener’s wine critic Michael Cooper, who called it ‘vivacious with a fragrant, yeasty bouquet and a crisp, dry finish’. NEXT’s creative director can also attest to a glass or two being a fine way to end a long day at work. $28.99; alphadomus.co.nz

NEWS

LIFE & LIBERTY Congratulations to West Auckland craft brewers Joe and Christina Wood, founders of Liberty Brewing Company, who won big at the 2019 New Zealand Brewers Guild Awards. They scooped medals for every beer they entered – as well as the Champion Medium NZ Brewery gong. libertybrewing.co.nz

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M U M M ’S TH E WO R D Show some love this Valentine’s Day in the most sparkling, effervescent way with a bottle of bubbly from Maison Mumm, one of the leading Champagne houses in France. Reserved for a circle of insiders since 1838, RSRV represents the only collection of five 100% Grand Cru cuvées. The exceptional offerings include the vivacious Blanc de Blancs 2012, which pairs beautifully with oysters, crayfish and scallops, and the elegant Rosé Foujita – best enjoyed with salmon or even better, a creamy dessert!

S M O O T H I E M O V E When time is short in the morning as you scramble to make sure everyone’s had breakfast and the lunch boxes are sorted there’s often not a moment to sit down and eat something yourself. A breakfast lifesaver to grab on the way out the door is a Chia Sisters Hemp Protein Superfood smoothie, available in Cacao & Banana or Blueberry & Blackcurrant. Rich in omega 3, packed with plant protein and high in gut-friendly Ƥ ǡ be delivered to your door – too easy! $65 (12-bottles); chia.co.nz

Photographs Supplied

Drinks


Platter perfection.

Perfect for summer entertaining, our new Antipasto range is an easy way to create delicious grazing platters in moments. Our fresh Mediterranean-inspired flavours are ideal added to sandwiches, pizzas or pasta sauces to dial up the flavour too. Proudly made in New Zealand and vegan friendly. Available in the olive aisle in New World and Pak’nSave stores nationwide.

BARKERS.CO.NZ


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TRAVEL

After falling in love with an online real estate listing, Jackie Miller found herself purchasing a second home in a tiny Italian village. She tells Simone Momberg about her journey

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Jackie Miller offers tours showcasing the Italian lifestyle she has come to love.

By keeping the classic architecture of the medieval palazzo in focus, Jackie’s renovation combines traditional charm with modern amenities.

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Nestled comfortably between rolling hilltops in north-western Italy, and a 20-minute drive from the azure coast of Imperia, sits the charming, medieval village of Pieve di Teco; the picture-perfect setting which would play host to a complete life-change for Kiwi mum Jackie Miller. Dealing with a relationship breakdown and with empty nest syndrome kicking in, heading to Europe to travel and work seemed like the perfect opportunity for Jackie to get out of her head and “live a little”. With her work in the superyacht industry already based around European hours and a daughter living overseas, she began a six-month journey working and travelling where, as she puts it, she “fell in love with Europe and the life they live”. Upon returning to New Zealand to an empty house and feeling somewhat isolated working the opposite hours to friends and family, Jackie’s soul searching came in the form of many episodes of the TV show, A Place in the Sun, and the dream of small town living started taking root in her mind. With annual work in Monaco and a daughter in Milan, Jackie’s initial plan was to find a base between the two, and she admits to quickly becoming obsessed, spending hours scouring online listings for the perfect location. But despite looking at dozens of properties, she kept returning to one listing in particular – a fourstorey circa 1400s townhouse in a little village in Liguria. “I saw it online and I just kept coming back to these cathedral-style ceilings, they were really gorgeous, they were really Gothic.” Instantly intrigued by the architecture of the house and the proximity between the village and the coast – and with airports in Nice and Genoa just over an hour away, she was sold. “I decided, ‘Look, let’s just do it!’” she says, laughing off the idea of a mid-life crisis. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

What followed were a series of exchanges with a rather nervous Italian real estate agent who unsuccessfully tried to convince Jackie to come and view the place first. Already won over by the online listing, she steadfastly said, “I’m not coming all the way there, I want to buy it now.” She proceeded to do just that. Fully aware of how potentially nonsensical and impulsive that may seem, she viewed the entire process through a particularly rosy pair of glasses. On inspection of the property, they were promptly shattered.

A long road

H

aving arrived in Pieve di Teco to everyone already knowing that she was the ‘New Zealand woman who had bought a house sight unseen’, Jackie quickly understood just how small this small town was, and that her business was truly not her own. Finding her way through muted terracotta facades and narrow, cobblestone streets, she arrived at the property and was hit with a huge reality check. “I just expected that I would turn the light on and walk through the house, but of course the shutters were closed and the house was dark and there was no power – it had been abandoned for five years. The only things that were living there were the rats.

»


TRAVEL

‘I just expected that I would turn the light on and walk through the house’

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‘This, to me, is what living’s about. It doesn’t matter if everything’s not perfect; it’s that you’re all together’ The Langhe region in the province of Cuneo in Piedmont is a popular wine region to visit.

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TRAVEL

Using her property as a base, her tours take guests through the area, visiting a mix of local vendors and gastronomic hot-spots such as Piedmont. “That’s where white truffles are from, and also all the famous red wine, including Barolo and Barbaresco. People think of Tuscany being Italy’s capital for food and wine, but Piedmont is much more sophisticated.

There was so much furniture – the previous owner deserted it along with the rubbish.” Daunted but undeterred, she set about planning the renovations, which without knowledge of the local language was an undertaking on its own. But having renovated properties in the past, Jackie had a certain level of confidence while dealing with the language barrier and the ins and outs of foreign bureaucracy. Thankfully, once she was able to get people in to clean up the place and peg up the holes, the rats quickly moved out. While determined to maintain a positive spirit, Jackie remembers being about three weeks into the project and ready to call it a day. “It might have been that I couldn’t find something, or I couldn’t communicate. I was just really frustrated and I could feel my eyes welling up,” she says. “It was just frustration, and I was thinking ‘What have I done, have I completely lost my mind? I’ve come to the other side of the world, I don’t know a single soul, I can’t speak the language, and I’ve bought a house!’” Fighting back tears, she was approached by a local man who reassuringly patted her shoulder, got her to sit down and brought her out a cup of coffee – trying his best to console her in broken English.

A warm welcome

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

J

ackie credits the locals with providing a real sense of home and comfort, some even referring to her as ‘Ja-Kiwi’ – an affectionate weaving together of her name and nationality. She describes the sense of community as just a part of everyday life there, whether it’s the local butcher checking in on how you cooked that cut of meat he recommended, to someone handing in your lost keys to the shoemaker down the end of the street. It was this sense of camaraderie and fellowship that provided some much needed cushioning around the renovation process, which Jackie tackled over the next four years. With a vision of creating a space where she could feel at home, while keeping the classic architecture in focus, Jackie incorporated natural tones throughout the property, with delicate accents and fittings complimenting the raw beauty of the rooms at the forefront. Bold, wooden furnishings provide a striking contrast to the neutrality of the rooms, while arched stone ceilings and angled rafters allow for dappled sunlight to drift in during the day. Jackie was struck by how initially renovating the property as a place to stay when spending time on that side of the world, many visitors commented on what a fantastic location it was to be able to show off. She found herself agreeing wholeheartedly and without needing much encouragement, the idea of her company ‘You, Me, Italy’ was born. With a passion to show people the “real Italy” and have them experience local life, Jackie set about creating tours that would capture the close-knit family feel of the region she had come to love.

Sharing the love

L

Below: A snapshot of the region where Jackie takes tour groups. Middle: A print that encapsulates Jackie’s tour business in Italy. Bottom: Beauty around every corner.

iguria itself is an area she’s passionate about promoting, with its vast green areas and textured countryside complete with spectacular swimming spots. “You don’t even need to travel 20 minutes down to the coast for a swim, you’ve got these natural waterholes that you can go and swim in which are just stunning – all limestone cliffs and you jump in, trees all around you. They’re really beautiful.” The local festivals play an important role as well, with all the little villages throwing parties for a myriad of delightful reasons. Whether it’s a lavender or ravioli festival, these social gatherings are a celebration of local produce and customs, all of which the guests are encouraged to get involved with. Long, leisurely day trips involve bicycle rides along the breathtaking Italian Riviera and through old railway tunnels, popping into colourful towns en route to indulge in a refreshing gelato or settle in for a meal. “Everything comes with wine at lunch of course, then you have a swim in the Med, and then you come back.” Jackie believes it’s this relaxed pace that makes the tours popular with visitors of all ages. “This year we had a tour where we had a 24-year-old and an 82-year-old, and everything in between. And you know what? It was a wonderful tour, they really loved it and honestly, the 82-year-old had so much go, they’re still sending me text messages.” It’s that togetherness across ages that Jackie feels really passionate about, praising the way the locals all come together over a meal. “You’ll have the young people talking to the old people, a grandchild talking to Nona. You’re all at a table and it goes on for hours and I love this,” she says. “This is, to me, what living’s about. It doesn’t matter if everything’s not perfect; it’s that you’re all together.” Even while living on the other side of the world, Jackie manages to keep family close with her daughter working as a guide on some of her tours and helping to share their love of the region with others. Looking ahead at where she would like to take the business, she has views on possibly extending tours down to Calabria – the ‘toe of the boot’ in the south, and an area she believes is often overlooked. She concedes that it may not be for some time, making reference to “walking before we run”. However, if her journey so far is anything to go by, she seems far more likely to run headfirst than idly wander.

*

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ESCAPE Gucci Bloom Ambrosia di Fiori EDP, $190 (50ml).

Sol water bottle, $45.

Witchery pants, $149.90

Loobie’s Story kerchief, $69. Hannahs sandals, $100.

Fuji Instax SQ6 camera, $200.

Zara hat, $45.90.

Simply You for EziBuy cami, $199.99. Strandbags Flylite suitcase, $249.

Isaac + Lulu top, $279. Yu Mei bag, $275.

Photographs Angie Humphreys / Bauer Media Studios Styling Benjamin Alexander for The Fashion Department

Elite watch, $149, from Pascoes.

R O M A N H O L I D A Y Add a little touch of Italian chic to your wardrobe and you’ll be perfectly attired to travel in style


regal & majestic princess ®

Sailing from Sydney in Summer 2020/2021 for our biggest season ever!

experience the newest and largest princess ships in the region

Cruise 13 nights from

$1,889pp*

twin share

BOOK NOW! Visit your Travel Agent | 0800 780 717 | www.princess.com

BEST

CRUISE LINE OVERALL

CRUISE PASSENGER READER’S CHOICE -

Regal Princess ® is MedallionClassTM enabled *Fare is cruise only, based on lead interior stateroom on 13 night Australia & New Zealand sailing from Auckland to Sydney, departing 10 Dec 2020 onboard Majestic Princess. To be read in conjunction with the Booking and Passage Conditions available at princess.com/legal/passage_contract


EXPLORE NOW WE’RE COOKING

While transport agencies around the world work on ways to bring down emissions, Europcar Mobility Group New Zealand is making it easier for domestic travellers to do the same here. Members of its Electric Day Pass programme wanting to whizz around Auckland City, to and from Auckland, plus Palmerston North, Wellington, Nelson and Christchurch airports will now be able to pre-book fully electric vehicles. With no joining fee for domestic travellers, it’s a great step towards keeping New Zealand clean and green. electricdaypass.co.nz

Travel

WHAT’S NEW BY SIMONE MOMBERG

All you need Cruise into summer with Princess MedallionClass™ and you’ll enjoy a personalised and innovative cruise holiday where everything you need is right at your fingertips. The complimentary OceanMedallion allows you to stay connected with fast and reliable wi-fi, order food and beverages to your location on the ship, plus enjoy keyless stateroom entry and more. Experience MedallionClass™ for yourself onboard the Regal Princess®, sailing from Sydney December 2020. princess.com

FOOD FOR THOUGHT We love a handy travel guide, and The Lonely Planet’s Vegan Travel Handbook is the next addition to our ever-growing list. Featuring their favourite veganfriendly destinations, tours, experiences and tips from around the world, it’s vacationing for plant-based eating fans made easy. $32.99; lonelyplanet.com

Top of e cla

Known for its modern approach to aviation and customer care, Air New Zealand has some new initiatives to help them stay ahead of the curve. Teaming up with Les Mills, they’ve rolled out inflight workout videos focusing on light stretching and meditation techniques to help travellers relax and unwind aboard long-haul flights. You can also order your coffee in an edible biscotti cup from Kiwi company Twiice. Zero waste and a delicious treat once you’re done – no wonder the company were named the world’s best airline for 2020!

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Photographs Getty Images and supplied

Going green

Remember the taste of that slow-cooked beef ragù in Italy? Food has the wonderful ability to evoke memories, and Airbnb has developed its latest category with this in mind. Airbnb Cooking Experiences will see over 3000 culinary opportunities available on the platform, spread over 75+ countries. If you want to learn how to make pasta in Sicily, or discover how traditional Vietnamese dinners are prepared, this platform is perfect for you. airbnb.co.nz/s/Cooking/experiences


WHAT’S NEXT

directory

Classified Directory Readership: 187,000 | Circulation: 30,823 Source: Nielsen CMI (Apr 18-Mar 19) ABC Average Net Circulation (Oct 17-Sep 18) To advertise your product please contact: Kim Chapman Ph: (07) 578 3646 | Email: classifieds@xtra.co.nz

Footwear that fits the Kiwi foot, including wide widths! Everything from flats to heels, sandals to casual styles, even wide-calf boots. Stockists of the uber-comfortable Propét Walking Shoes and the fashionable Walking Cradles range. Specialist footwear is also available for troublesome feet issues too! Shoe Talk Ltd: 401A Great North Road, Henderson and 1/32 Clyde Rd, Browns Bay, Auckland

To advertise here contact Kim Chapman / ph: 07 578 3646 / fax: 07 578 3647 / mob: 021 673 133 / email: classifieds@xtra.co.nz

Phone 09 835 9936 │ shoetalk.co.nz


BOOKS & PODCASTS

Previews BY MEGAN MCCHESNEY

Read of e mо American Dirt Jeanine Cummins Tinder Press, $37.99 Even before its release the book world was buzzing about American Dirt – a terrifying yet tender novel about a woman and her young son trying to cross illegally from Mexico into the US – and for good reason. Jeanine Cummins has put a very human face to one of the greatest ongoing tragedies of current times. From the very first page this exquisitely written book hurtles along like a thoroughbred fresh out of the starting gates: Lydia Perez and eight-year-old Luca are at a family gathering in a middle-class suburb of Acapulco when a gang of cartel gunmen arrive. Lydia’s journalist husband Sebastián has written things about the cartel that they don’t like, and their answer is to wipe out his entire family. Lydia and Luca, however, are in the bathroom when the shooting begins and manage to hide from the assassins. Knowing the cartel won’t rest until they, too, are dead, mother and son flee north to the US – the only place the long arm of the cartel doesn’t reach. It’s an arduous journey, some of it made riding atop the freight trains that run the length of Mexico. Danger is everywhere, but they also encounter kindness and kindred spirits, like 10-year-old Beto, who was born in a dump yet has the ability to make them laugh just when it seems life couldn’t get any worse. No matter how difficult their odyssey is through the badlands of Mexico, however, the greatest challenge is ahead of them – the journey by foot across the deadly Sonoran Desert, where hundreds of illegal immigrants perish every year. An eye-opening story that humanises the migrant experience in all its beauty and horror.

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HOT OFF THE PRESS

The Unlikely Escape of Uriah Heep H.G. Parry Orbit, $24.99 Charley Sutherland has a rather unique superpower – he’s able to make storybook characters appear in the real world. His unusual ‘summoning’ talent is a pain in the proverbial for his brother Rob, who’s had to clean up many a mess created by everyone from Dorian Gray to the White Witch of Narnia. But things really kick off when the brothers discover that Charley isn’t the only ‘summoner’ in town. An imaginative, charming and witty fantasy by Wellington author H.G. Parry.

A Māori Phrase a Day Hēmi Kelly Raupo, $30 Our New Year’s resolutions are still fresh in our minds – and if one of yours is to get better at te reo Māori, this is the book for you! AUT Māori language lecturer Hēmi Kelly has followed up his 2018 book A Māori Word a Day with this offering, which sets out 365 useful sentences. Before long you’ll be saying everything from, “Put your hat on (Makahia to pōtae)” to “First in, first served (Tuatahi i mahi tuatahi)!”

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’! – Audrey Hepburn


DON’T MISS

A Madness of Sunshine Nalini Singh Hachette, $34.99 New Zealand author Nalini Singh is celebrated worldwide for her paranormal romance novels, but here she’s turned her hand to the thriller genre with great aplomb. A Madness of Sunshine follows classical pianist Anahera Rawiri, who returns to her West Coast hometown after a lengthy stint away, and it’s not long before she becomes caught up in the mysterious disappearance of a 19-year-old woman. A twisted tale of secrets and lies.

The Clergyman’s Wife Molly Greeley Allen & Unwin, $32.99

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

Most fans of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice are convinced the book’s most pragmatic character, Charlotte Lucas, lived unhappily ever after following her marriage to the odious but financially stable Vicar William Collins. In her debut novel, however, Molly Greeley has picked up Charlotte’s story where Austen left off and delivers some rather intriguing developments. A heart-pleasing gem that stays y true to the spirit of Austen’s work.

w in WITH NEXT

We have five copies of American Dirt to give away. To enter, go to our website nowtolove.co.nz and click on the ‘win’ tab. State the reason you should win, plus your details and your unique code NXT0220. Competition closes February 29, 2020.

Podcasts

MAKING BEYONCÉ

From the team who made Making Obama comes this new podcast about Queen Bey, explaining how a shy young girl from Houston born in 1981 became one of the biggest names in modern music. Host Jill Hopkins talks to everyone from Beyoncé’s dad, Mathew Knowles, to the Crazy in Love singer’s former dance teacher and Ashley Davis, who shared the limelight with Beyoncé in their pre-Destiny’s Child group Girls Tyme.

days Gerri Betz refuses to speak of the ball, and in this podcast, host Lindsey Kilbride sets out to get to the bottom of where this thing might have come from and who has it now. A truly quirky addition to the investigative podcast genre.

MOTHERHACKER

ODD BALL In 1974 Gerri Betz and her son Terry found a metal ball in the woods. It was heavy and silver and looked like a bowling ball, except it vibrated and rolled around on its own, as if it were a conscious being, and the family poodle whimpered and covered its ears whenever it came near. At the time, public interest in UFOs was widespread and it didn’t take long for the news of the sphere’s existence to go national, and then international. The US Navy took an interest, as did a number of renowned UFO investigators. These

It’s an ordinary day at work when you pick up the phone to hear a woman saying your estranged husband, the father of your children, has been in an awful accident. Unless you wire $12,000 – pretty much all the money in your bank account – to the treatment facility he’s in, he will not be saved. You do it but then, when you call the facility, you find out no one from there called you. You’ve just fallen for a scam. This is the set-up in the first episode of Motherhacker, a scripted fiction podcast from Gimlet Media, and from there things only get more interesting as the main character, PTA mum Bridget, is forced to become a scammer herself or face financial ruin. As it turns out, she’s rather good at it.

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WHAT’S SMART SOLUTIONS FOR YOUR HOME,

Tastes of home

Natural nourishment

Helping hand

Anathoth Farm truly captures the goodness of life with New Zealandgrown fruit and vegetables. Still made in rural South Island, the label may be new, but the people still make preserves to the same much-loved recipes. Available at New World and Pak’nSave stores. $4.99; anathoth.co.nz

Dr. Hauschka’s Clarifying Day Oil is a 100% natural composition of precious botanical extracts and nourishing oils that sends a signal to the skin to slow down its own oil production. The thin texture absorbs into skin easily and the medicinal plant extracts calm inflammation and redness. $55; drhauschka.co.nz

Grumpy, snapping and stressed out? It’s only the start of 2020 but it might be your hormones causing the havoc. NuWoman® 30 Plus assists natural hormone balance to make you feel calm and happy. And now there’s NuWoman® Balance for younger women too. Available at health stores and pharmacies. From $24.99.

Skin saviour

How charming

Sun safe

Get the full protection of a sunscreen and a beautiful weightless finish with Skinsmiths Daily Defence Compact SPF50+. The soft sponge allows for smudge-free application to leave your makeup intact. Formulated for all skin types, it’s your skin-saving top-up solution. $59 (compact); $39 (refill). From Caci nationwide. caci.co.nz

Inspired by Aotearoa’s beautiful beaches and oceans, Evolve’s paua charms capture everything that represents a classic Kiwi summer. Treat yourself or someone special to these special charms, which are a sign of prosperity and good luck. Paua charms from $59; evolve-jewellery.co.nz

Evolu’s beautiful Active Age-Defence Protective Day Cream SPF30 balances proven plant-powered hydration with the reassurance of reef-friendly clear zinc sunscreen that’s safe, effective, and invisible. The expert blend of plant actives works to protect, hydrate and nourish the skin’s appearance. $59.99 (60ml); evolu.com

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PROMOTION

IN STORE YOUR FAMILY AND LIVING LIFE IN STYLE

Streaming dream

A new you

Under pressure?

Neon is a subscription video on-demand service for one all-inclusive package of $13.95 per month. Neon offers hundreds of hours of viewing across a wide range of titles, from critically acclaimed TV shows to blockbuster movies and the latest HBO dramas like Big Little Lies. Sign up for a 14-day free trial at neontv.co.nz

Dr Meredith Simcock is a New Zealandtrained plastic surgeon and one of the few women in private practice in Auckland. She offers a unique perspective on cosmetic and reconstructive questions and will give a friendly and honest opinion on any aspect of reconstructive or aesthetic surgery of the breast or body. drmsimcock.co.nz

Worried you may be heading towards burnout? The Eve Stress & Adrenal Test was designed to help people understand how their bodies are coping with life’s daily stressors by measuring salivary cortisol and cortisone levels through samples collected throughout the day. $249; evehealth.com

Stress less

Grower fresh stone fruit

Silky smooth

If stress is a constant companion in your busy life, reach for Kiwiherb StressCare. Ideal for long- or short-term daily use, the blend of herbs and B vitamins helps the body cope with the negative effects of nervous tension. Kiwiherb.co.nz

To get the most perfect peaches and plumpest plums, Countdown’s buyers go where the sun is – like HR Horticulture in Napier, where grower Rob Nichol says the high sunshine hours and fertile soil offer the perfect conditions for sumptuous stone fruit. Taste the difference at your nearest Countdown store, or at countdown.co.nz

Give your legs the attention they deserve with the first depilatory mask for legs that beautifies the skin while removing stubble. Designed to be used in between your regular hair removal routine, Nair Leg Mask is a 3-in-1 treatment that removes hair, gently exfoliates and moisturises, and minimises hair regrowth. $17.99; nair.com.au

Always read the label and use as directed. If symptoms persist, see your healthcare professional. Phytomed, Auckland.

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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PUZZLES & STOCKISTS

Brainteaser 1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8 9

ACROSS

14 Eye makeup (7)

1 Query (8)

16 Acrobat’s swing (7)

5 In addition to (4) 9 Colorado ski resort (5)

17 Cream-filled pastry (6) 19 Snow house (5)

10 Disperse (7) 11 Nobleman (4)

21 Tequila source (5) 22 Weaving apparatus (4)

12 Capital of Finland (8) 14 Indefinitely great number (6)

10

15 Tender (6) 11

18 Neuralgia of the hip and thigh (8)

12

20 US space agency (1.1.1.1.) 23 1996 Summer Olympics city (7)

13 14

15

24 Musical drama (5) 25 Tiny particle (4)

16

26 Film’s first showing (8)

17 18

19

20

21

1 Tremble (5) 2 Kind of penguin (7)

22 23

25

DOWN 3 Sharp taste (4) 4 Pearl-bearing mollusc (6) 6 Ancient Roman language (5) 7 Young pilchard (7) 8 Patterned fabric (7) 13 Gin and vermouth cocktail (7)

24

26

Complete the crossword – the letters in the shaded squares will spell out a mystery word. Find the solution in the March issue of NEXT. C A P A C I T Y O D D S

L I M B L I O K E R C R O C H R A I P E G Y R I C E N S I A M O A T R C E N E

D R E B A E T R E I E T A W N D R R Y

A R A I V I O E L P I I C H A P I P Y

K E L O U C D I D R A T I E

S T A A C T N M G T E I N V E R I A N O L U O L K S

Solution from January NEXT Mystery word: Basil

AJE www.ajeworld.co.nz ANOUSHKA VAN RIJN www.anoushkavanrijn.co.nz CAMILLA AND MARC www.camillaandmarc.com CITTÀ DESIGN www.cittadesign.com COUNTRY ROAD www.countryroad.co.nz DEADLY PONIES www.deadlyponies.com EZIBUY www.ezibuy.com FORMA www.forma.co.nz FREEDOM FURNITURE www.freedomfurniture.co.nz FUJI www.fujifilm.co.nz GREEN WITH ENVY www.greenwithenvy.co.nz HANNAHS www.hannahs.co.nz H&M www.hm.com/nz ISAAC + LULU www.sillsandco.com

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JULIETTE HOGAN www.juliettehogan.com KATE SYLVESTER www.katesylvester.co.nz KMART www.kmart.co.nz KOWTOW www.kowtowclothing.com LEVI’S www.levi.com LOOBIE’S STORY www.loobiesstory.co.nz LOVISA www.lovisa.com MAX www.maxshop.com MERCHANT 1948 www.merchant1948.co.nz MI PIACI www.mipiaci.co.nz MOCKA www.mocka.co.nz PASCOES www.pascoes.co.nz RACHEL MILLS www.rachelmills.co.nz R.M.WILLIAMS www.rmwilliams.com.au/nz RESENE www.resene.co.nz

RUBY www.rubynz.com SABEN www.saben.co.nz SEED HERITAGE www.seedheritage.com SILLS www.sillsandco.com SOL www.solcups.co.nz STRANDBAGS www.strandbags.co.nz THE DESIGN STORE www.thedesignstore.co.nz THE WAREHOUSE www.thewarehouse.co.nz WALMSLEY & COLE www.walmsleyandcole.co.nz WITCHERY www.witchery.co.nz WIXII www.wixii.co.nz YU MEI www.yumeibrand.com ZARA www.zara.com/nz

Crossword Katrina Keppie Photography Bauer Media Studios and supplied

STOCKISTS


DIVORCE DIARIES

by Sarah Quigley

SCARS on the SOUL

Sarah looks back on the knocks she’s taken over the years, and learns more about Mr Stable’s wounds

Illustration Getty Images Photograph supplied

I

’m standing in a fiercely lit changing room, waiting for Joao-from-Portugal to bring me smaller jeans and a bigger top. I used to think ‘Joao’ was a totally exotic name until I visited Lisbon and realised that every second man in Portugal is called Joao. “It’s our equivalent of John,” smiles Portuguese Joao, bustling off to the racks. Standing there surrounded by fulllength mirrors, I can’t help noticing how many scars I’ve accumulated over my decades of living. Not living dangerously, either. Just run-of-the-mill living – but all the same, it’s quite some scarrage. There’s the one at my hairline, from my sister’s front tooth (a long story). The one on my forehead: skin cancer. One on my collarbone, where my horse fell on me at the Oxford A&P show. One on my leg: a skin graft, to cover the scar on my forehead. And so on, and so on… A tattooed arm extends through the curtains, dangling some fetching French jeans and a fabulous French lace top. “Here you go, darling!” And Joao withdraws his arm, with its designer-inked self-chosen scars, and I wish fervently I could remain here forever, in the warm plush interior of a French clothing store, tended to by a cool skinny Portugueser, instead of having to launch out into a cold Berlin to meet my German partner who’s beginning, what with his prickly moods and his secretive nature and his sexual hang-ups, to worry the living daylights out of me. But as I stand there mulling over old

scars, I remind myself that some of us have scars on our bodies, and others have scars on our hearts and souls. It’s very clear that Mr Stable has some significant psychological scars from growing up under a hyper-critical father who repeatedly told him he was stupid, and who – when Mr Stable got his doctorate – simply commented that it was years too late. As I emerge into the sleety rain, I determine to be more understanding of Mr Stable’s tantrums, and to forgive him for not telling me until we’d moved in together that it was likely we’d never have anything approaching a normal sex life. Here he is now, under an umbrella, with a scowl on his face. “The new therapist is useless!” are his first words. “Of course she asked me about my childhood. How bloody predictable! These pseudoprofessionals aren’t clever enough. That’s the problem.” I sigh inwardly. It’s the third or fourth time I’ve heard this in the past few months. Mr Stable is ripping through therapists like a kid rips through Christmas presents. Every time they touch on his father as a possible reason for his insecurity and his consequent ED, he spits the dummy and storms out. “Could you persevere for one more session?” I suggest, trying to remember

that he’s scarred, rather than just outright arrogant. He rushes me through Gendarmenmarkt, not letting me linger to admire the beautifully lit concert hall glowing in the grey afternoon. But we’re waylaid by a group of suit-clad men approaching us. The one at the front greets Mr Stable with a curt nod. “I’m showing some visiting Russian scientists around the city.” Mr Stable hovers, unsure of whether to make introductions. “Should we join you for a block or two? I could show you around my institute.” The portly man shakes his head. “We only have time for the most important research centres. I don’t think your institute qualifies as that, does it? Besides – ” he jerks his head backwards, “We have the wives with us.” A bunch of women huddle under a few umbrellas behind the men. They look cold, tired – and anachronistic. I’m amazed. Are there really still men who refer to women as ‘The Wives?’ “Let’s get on,” orders the leader, and with that, the groups move off: men at the fore, wives at the rear, like a clumsy twoheaded animal from chauvinistic times. “Who’s he?” I stare after them. “An old professor?” “Ha,” Mr Stable gives a forced laugh. “No. That’s my father.”

*

Are there really still men who refer to women as ‘The Wives’? FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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HOROSCOPES

Aquarius RELATIONSHIPS Check your stress levels as you prepare for what the year has in store. If you’re still searching for someone special, you’ll at least be in a swirl of friends and social happenings. On the family front, things aren’t entirely straightforward. Mercury delivers a curveball ͙͠ ǯ Ƥ else’s problem. Uranus, your ruler, is in can-do Taurus all month and you’ll enjoy a happy time in your love life.

MONEY Saturn, planet of limitation, exercises control over your material ơ Ǥ ǯ commitments and cut down expenses to small treats. If you’re asked to make a binding decision in the week commencing the 17th, Ƥ Ǥ ǡ ǯ ǡ ǯ ơ ͚͛ Ǥ

CAREER You can expect changes at work. You may have to deal with a move to new premises or a fresh direction. Be positive – you’ll gain more by saying yes than by hanging back. There are signs that someone Ǥ Ǧ ͙͠ Ǥ ǡ indicators for your future are quite something. The lack of routine Ǥ ͚͛ Ǥ

Y ’l enjoy a ha y time in y r l e life FEB 20 – MAR 20 You’re in the midst of an important period of personal expansion. Not everyone understands, so cut some slack for the people around you. Mercury in Pisces after the 4th means possible delays. There’s a hint of romance on the 8th if you’re unattached.

ARIES MAR 21 – APR 20 Venus in your birth sign for most of the month highlights your emotional life while Mars, your ruler, is pushing you into action. A friend plays a puzzling role on the weekend of the 22nd and 23rd.

TAURUS APR 21 – MAY 21 Stay open to your

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feelings on the 2nd. The month will bring a deepening of your love life, both physical and emotional. With imaginative Uranus in Taurus, you’re shaping up to make a move that will alter the course of 2020.

GEMINI MAY 22 – JUN 21 You’ll be lifted up by a spirit of optimism in February. This is a good month for building on foundations. Mercury, your ruler, tempts you to take a chance on love, but sure and steady should be your watchwords.

CANCER JUN 22 – JUL 23 A break from routine is indicated on the weekend of the 8th to 9th. Change is in the

air, enriching a key relationship and even promising romance for the unattached. Now’s the time to embark on a fitness or diet plan.

LEO JUL 24 – AUG 23 Where are you headed? It’s important to keep your personal goals in mind early in this new year. The Full Moon in your birth sign on the 9th provides insight from a stranger. An upheaval at work brings questions on the 24th.

VIRGO AUG 24 – SEP 23 Decide to spend some quality time with your lover at the start of February. The weekend of the 1st-2nd is for savouring simple pleasures. For singles, Friday the 7th will

bring someone special. Saturn brings order to your finances.

pace at work starts to heat up.

LIBRA SEP 24 – OCT 23 Like many Librans, you tend to put off dealing with problems, but it’s time to focus and trust yourself. February delivers progress with a major project, while your creativity will be unlocked from the 8th onwards. A promising relationship continues to grow.

NOV 23 – DEC 22 You’ve plenty to look forward to. In your working life there’s a need to gear up and focus on the job at hand. Seek advice on Monday the 17th before making an important move. Take time off to clear your perspective after the 21st. Set time aside for your partner and family.

SCORPIO

CAPRICORN

OCT 24 – NOV 22 Passion in various guises – sexy or inspiring – will enliven your month. The weekend of the 15th-16th, with the Moon in Scorpio, will be memorable if you’re willing to take a chance. The

DEC 23 – JAN 20 Jupiter and Saturn are both in Capricorn and vying for influence, so your love life could get complicated. Expect some ups and downs on the weekend of the 8th-9th. A travel plan will be revived mid-February.

SAGITTARIUS

Words Hazel Brooke Illustration Susan Hassmann

PISCES


LAST LAUGH turn 50 next month. I can’t quite believe it. Not just the number, with its hints of blowsiness, 50 always seemed so old when I was in my 20s – a time of short-sighted makeup application resulting in wonky eyebrows (maybe we’re being artistic, have you considered that?). It’s just that I thought I’d be a lot more together by now. Still, I’m overwhelmed by the sheer luck of having made it, when so many of my friends didn’t, carried off variously by the sudden: murder, brain aneurysm, or the lingering: breast cancer, eating disorder... while for some reason, here I remain, grasshopper among the ants, always voted most likely to fall off a cliff having stepped backwards while taking a selfie. Where did the time go? To quote Martin Amis: “You sometimes say to yourself: That went a bit quick. That went a bit quick. In certain moods, you may want to put it rather more forcefully. As

I

by Lisa Scott time life kicked me in the teeth, which it will until you lower your expectations; all the effort I put into men who didn’t deserve it. However, I made it: scarred, wry, patting myself all over to make sure nothing else has fallen off. Now how to make sense of the middlepause, the fifth floor? How best to use the remaining time, suddenly scarce. Sometimes I imagine my corpse sitting beside me saying, “Get off your phone, Lisa.” There isn’t a moment to be wasted in swiping up. It’s not just that I’ll never be a freelance palaeontologist, it’s that even within my little niche, opportunities will start to diminish significantly. Fifty is often a career peak, as you are experienced but not yet visibly falling apart, so your juniors respect rather than pity you. Earning peaks at 53 in many occupations, so there’s not a lot of point in working much longer, which

‘I’m happy to say there is little that I haven’t already done’

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

in: Oy!! That went a bit f***ing quick!!!” And it did. Like a flip book of my life, here’s me, beaming from ear to ear in the maternity ward, my mother leaning over, “Your face is so red!” I see Sophia in the incubator, a wee preemie, hairy as a chihuahua and very cross, socks on her waving fists, me terrified, boobs leaking signing the marriage register. Flip, flip and I see my first kiss (disappointing), first sexual encounter (I wasn’t sure it had actually happened and had to ask), the first

is great because I’m pretty over it. The mirror is not your friend at 50 they say, but I’m okay with it – that’s my face, and after smoking at Olympic level in my 20s, it’s the face I deserve, attached to my body, both wonders of longevity, considering what I’ve put them through. Finally, after all the starving and plucking, I don’t care if men find me attractive, which weirdly seems to ensure they do. You know those people who look after themselves with a dedication to, and fear of, an old age the rest of us never see coming, those who drink in moderation, eschew the sun, late nights, sugar and

What do y ink? What did turning 50 teach you? Write to next@ bauermedia.co.nz

rampancy of all kinds? Well, say “Hi” to them from me. I’ve treated my body like a car bought for the Dakar Rally. I didn’t expect it to get there with both doors still on and the fenders might be dented, but by God she’s a classic. Rather than decrepitude, I’m more worried that these days I have a tendency to bring a coat in case of rain, pay the mortgage, be a good example to children, hold dinner parties with real food and read the papers. I know the difference between left and right (politically), and can spot an a**hole at 20 paces. I don’t care about most things. At some point I stopped sweating the small stuff, which is brilliant as I used to be the kind of kid who’d lie awake rigid with fear over a lost school blazer. At the turning of a half century, I feel the urge for something significant, outrageous, but I’m happy to say there is little that I haven’t already done. There’s no one I regret not shagging and I’m as likeable as I’m ever going to get. Life has been so good to me. When I blow out the candles next month, all I’ll wish for is more.

*

ICING ON T H E C A K E Lisa ponders all that she has done in her life and hopes that her birthday wish will only bring more fun. She’s not stopping at 50

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

159


PUT DOWN YOUR DRINK

Deborah has decided to leave the alcohol Matrix, but it’s not the giving up drinking part that’s causing her trouble

L

ast week I met a friend at a fashionable Auckland bar. I recognised the bartender, who looks like he is auditioning to be the next Keith Richards, although frankly, his mother wouldn’t even have been born when the Rolling Stones topped the charts. I asked him, “So, what do you have that is interesting and non-alcoholic?”. He did a lip curl. “A negroni?” When I stopped drinking alcohol I thought it would be hard saying no, but I got it all wrong. Saying no to booze was easy – trying to find a way to explain this to other people was much harder. You may not realise it, but we are all steeped in the alcohol Matrix. Drinking is

our one acceptable defence mechanism in New Zealand. We use it copiously. We drink to celebrate, to commiserate, to mourn, to let off steam, to get laid, to connect. Alcohol is sanctioned as one of the few acceptable ways to process our dark emotions: if you are angry, depressed or sad, it is frowned on here to keen, to wail, to let it all hang out, to express your misery in plain and unequivocal terms. But let


BACKCHAT

by Deborah Hill Cone me get you a cold one. Get that down ya. We admit this quite openly. Haven’t you ever seen a harried mother with the T-shirt: “Is it wine o’clock yet?”. Drinking is the acceptable way, even among the privileged elite, to express the pain of living, and especially the ambivalence of motherhood. Freud was right: we love our kids and sometimes we hate our kids. As a short-term defence mechanism, a glass of wine can help us keep our fragmented selves together in our most desperate moments. For those of us who have suffered from depression, getting drunk may have been a more benign response to our distress than the deadly alternative: drink could even have kept us alive. I can be grateful for emergency chardonnay. But after a while, it starts to chafe that the only way to deal with excruciating emotional pain, or psychically unbearable family gettogethers, is with humour, cynicism and getting pissed. I was the worst at this. Or maybe the best. I’m an old-school journalist. Being a pisshead is part of our DNA. This genre tends to include self-deprecating stories of outrageous inebriation. “Remember that time I set my hair on fire at SPQR? And I had a Heineken for breakfast with curry! And those lunches that lasted 12 hours!” You are accepted when you cope with your pain in this way. In New Zealand, people understand drinking. Trying to do feelings differently is not so easily fathomed. You feel alone. Turns out, explaining why I was going outside the alcohol Matrix was much harder than giving up drinking. The one socially acceptable way to do this is to say you’re an addict. Everyone can deal with that label: now they have a box to

therapy junkie and a writer, and think of the great material! But I would feel like a fraud. I am not powerless around alcohol. I did not have craving, tolerance, withdrawal. What I was struggling with was not the business of stopping drinking, but finding an acceptable narrative to tell other people. I could be the party girl or the addict, but I didn’t want to be either. I didn’t even know if I was swearing off alcohol forever. I just knew that at this point in my journey – yes, aren’t those cringey, non-cynical words! – I needed to do it sober. But try explaining that in a crowded bar when Brendan is buying a round.

MY FRIEND BOUGHT ME SPICY GINGER ALE AND SAID I WAS JUST AS MUCH FUN SOBER Actually, I did. I decided to be completely honest about my reasons. And the reaction surprised me. I said I was not drinking at the moment. This was not because I didn’t like the person I became when drunk or the role model I was being for my kids, or that it was bad for my health or that I wanted to remember my dreams, and what I had done the previous night (although these reasons were all true). It was because I had become aware of the

Photographs Getty Images and supplied

AS A SHORT-TERM DEFENCE MECHANISM A GLASS OF WINE CAN HELP US KEEP OUR FRAGMENTED SELVES TOGETHER put you in. You’re broken. Poor you with your dysregulated dopamine pathways. You’re never going to have any fun, ever again. But in return, the addict gets to feel sanctimonious and maybe write a slightly smug memoir about how grateful they are for their pristine born-again life. (One could argue being pious is worse than being a lush.) Of course I was tempted to go to AA meetings just because I am a

attractively packaged poison” as Craig Beck, author of Alcohol Lied to Me, put it. I just didn’t think it was aiding me in what I was trying to achieve right now. I wanted to prove you don’t need alcohol to have fun or enjoy life. You only think you do. What surprised me, was how many people completely got it. Phantasia confessed she had only drunk to keep me company, and we had our best chats ever and played more board games. My sister got on the kombucha with me and nothing had changed, and my boyfriend drank sparkling water. My friend Enigma bought me spicy ginger ale, which made my sternum burn and said I was just as fun sober as I had been when I set my hair on fire. Instead of feeling alone, or joining AA, I felt seen and accepted.

grand social delusion we all buy into thinking that we need to drink to have a good time, and that somehow we are deprived if we are not drinking. For once, I wanted to be able to stay in reality and stay present to what was happening. Surely I could stay in connection without feeling I needed to mentally absent myself by getting blotto? I didn’t think alcohol was evil, “an

All of our perceptions of alcohol come from society’s collective opinion of it. For most of my life I had always paired alcohol and celebration as natural bedfellows. But just as we were wrong about the earth being flat, or about many other things, maybe we are collectively incorrect about what alcohol gives us. As Annie Grace says in This Naked Mind, maybe it is not that alcohol makes drinkers happy, it’s that they are very unhappy without it. I did have to suggest to Keith Richards that his bar might like to stock up on kombucha. He did a great sneer. I don’t think the bar finds me such a profitable customer any more.

*

What do y ink?

Have you had a similar experience quitting alcohol? Write to us at next@bauermedia.co.nz

FEBRUARY 2020 / NEXT

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NEXT WOMAN

My style Kiwi actress Grace Palmer, who stars in The Dead Lands on TVNZ OnDemand, shares some of her favourite things SHOES: Adidas Supercourt. I live in sneakers and this pair just gets better with age.

BOOK: Brief Answers to the Big Questions by Stephen Hawking.

FRAGRANCE: Jo Malone Poppy & Barley. The perfect summer scent. SKINCARE: Murad Night Fix Enzyme Treatment. It’s the perfect pre-sleep ritual.

ACCESSORY: A Deadly Ponies scarf. My favourite is the Empire print.

ARTIST: ơǤ STYLE ICON: Rihanna. She’s sexy, sophisticated, bold and badass.

MAKEUP PRODUCT: Armani Luminous Silk Foundation. Believe the hype around this product; it’s incredible.

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DESIGNER: Jacquemus. He makes me want to change my name and move to France.

FILM: Forrest Gump or Mean Girls.

HOLIDAY DESTINATION: Barcelona. The culture, the food, the architecture and, of course, the siestas.

Photographs Getty Images and L’Oréal Professionnel

FLOWER/PLANT: Palm trees. Big, small, indoor, outdoor (I love ’em all).


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