T hanksgiving • C hristmas • N ew Y ears
STYLE & GO: FA S H I O N
Holiday Events and what to wear H O L I DAY S PA R K L E
Get the Look for the Season DECK THE HALLS
Decorate your home in style MMM, HOT C H O C O L AT E
The perfect recipe is inside!
Untangle the Holidays
A L ocal H oliday G ift & O fferings G uide I nside !
When you’re referred to the Nash Breast Care Center to address a concern, we can often provide you with answers before you leave your appointment. Using state-of-the-art 3-D mammography, our team of breast specialists can spot even the tiniest abnormality and more accurately determine the presence or absence of cancer. Why wait to be screened for breast cancer? You don’t need a referral for a screening mammogram – only a desire for the best breast care possible. Contact the region’s only Breast Imaging Center of Excellence.
FOR AN APPOINTMENT, call 252-962-6100. FOR INFORMATION visit NASHBREASTCARE.ORG
2 | CHARM | Winter 2018
ED I TO R ’ S L ET T ER
It’s been a while!
The Rocky Mount Telegram is
charm Publisher Kyle Stephens
happy to bring back Carolina Charm magazine for a holiday issue. While we started working on this magazine in September
-- when it was hard to find twinkling lights and holiday décor -- Thanksgiving is now in sight and the holiday season is in full-swing. Our local businesses are the best people to work with to produce a local magazine! Owners and employees always go above and beyond the call of duty to help us put together a magazine featuring local products and services. There’s no need to travel to traffic-jammed cities to Christmas shop. Check out all of the Twin Counties’ (and Wilson) local shops and stores and support your neighbors! But this issue is not just a gift guide. We’ve also got kid-friendly craft ideas from the Imperial Centre Art Center, hot chocolate recipes from a local coffee shop,
Editorial Content Jenny White Photography Alan Campbell Sarah Louya Advertising Kelly Ayscue Natasha Daniel Lewis Smith Chris Taylor Bryan Wilson Design & Layout Becky Wetherington
a calendar of holiday events and more. My friend Lindy Kitchin, a local counselor, penned a great column about reigning in holiday expectations and enjoying family time – versus busy time. As most women know, sometimes the holidays become more of a hassle than a joy when you have to plan extra special meals, gift-buying, extraextra-curricular activities and other Christmas-themed stuff. One thing I try to do at least every other day, once we have our Christmas tree up, is sit in the quiet for a few minutes – just me and the tree and her twinkling lights. I usually do it in the early morning hours and just sit and be thankful and still. Happy holidays to all of our Charm friends! We are thankful for you and wish you the very best this season, and into the New Year.
JENNY WHITE Editorial Content Producer for Carolina Charm
On The Cover Photography by Alan Campbell 5-year-old Bella George reacts to the magic of Christmas
Charm Magazine is published by APG Media Eastern NC, and is a subsidiary of the Rocky Mount Telegram. Contents may not be reproduced without the consent of the publisher.
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 3
Table of Contents
PEACEMAKERS CHRISTMAS TOY STORE Read how one local non-profit offers holiday cheer to families in need – and how you can help.
8 STYLE & GO Where, When and What to Wear. We’ve combined a holiday calendar with event worthy styles
13 DIY FANCY HOT C H O C O L AT E Trax Coffee Bar shares a favorite homemade hot chocolate recipe
29 4 | CHARM | Winter 2018
LOCAL H O L I D AY GIFT & OFFERINGS GUIDE Local stores offer their best gift tips
S E T T I N G T H E TA B L E
Get your party started with a beautiful table setting
21 BEAUTY: H O L I D AY SHIMMER
40 KID CRAFT IDEAS
Super Taking it up a level, tips and trends for holiday party looks
Snowflakes for all ages
30 DECK THE HALLS
Our fave holiday dÃ©cor finds from local stores
34 S TAY I N G S A N E DURING THE H O L I D AY S
HAUL OUT THE H O L LY How to make your own holiday wreath
44 GET SOME CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
Tips and advice on turning down the Christmas chaos, turning up the family time
A calendar of local events sure to help you find your Christmas spirit
46 Winter 2018 | CHARM | 5
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Winter 2018 | CHARM | 7
Christmas Gift Store
Donna Clifton, left, the office manager at Peacemakers of Rocky Mount, and volunteer Ashley Hill set out toys and childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothing as they set up the Christmas Toy Store at Peacemakers.
8 | CHARM | Winter 2018
GIRLS 0-2 Years Old: activity quilts, play mats, bath toys, plush toys, musical toys, baby books, pajamas, multiethnic dolls, educational toys (sorting, nesting, stacking, play sets) 3-5 Years Old: pajamas, ride-on toys, pedal and push toys, educational toys, role play toys, costumes, multiethnic dolls or doll houses, art kits
Patty Deaton writes a reduced price on a toy while helping set up the Christmas Toy Store at Peacemakers of Rocky Mount.
win Counties residents turn up and turn out for many holiday charity efforts, but one non-profit that allows parents to pick out and pay for reduced-cost gifts for their kids has become an important part of Christmas mornings for hundreds of local families. Peacemakers in south Rocky Mount will open their annual Christmas Toy Store to parents referred by social service agencies, other churches and non-profits or schools on Dec. 7 and 8. The Peacemakers Toy Store targets parents or guardians that find it difficult to add the cost of Christmas gifts to their monthly budget. Peacemakers is asking the public to help with this project
by donating new, unwrapped toys to be placed in the store. Jesse Lewis, executive director of Peacemakers, says the toys are marked down by about 90 percent and families pay the markeddown price for the gifts they pick out. “We’ll need about 6,000 or more toys to stock the store,” Lewis estimates. Lewis said toys can be dropped off at Peacemakers until Dec. 1, Monday through Thursday, 8:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. and from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Peacemakers is located at 1725 Davis Street. Peacemakers staff or volunteers can also come and pick up gifts, if needed. Proceeds go back into supporting the toy store next year.
6-8 Years Old: pajamas, multiethnic fashion dolls, dramatic play (doctor, school, or grocery store sets), e-readers, sporting goods, art kits, puzzles 9-12 Years Old: games, tween accessories, multiethnic dolls, socks, headphones, handheld electronic games, hobby kits (jewelry making, hair braiding, etc.) 13-18 Year Old: teen room and personal items, gift cards for fast food or movie passes, headphones or earbuds MOST AGES: Any electronic item, scooters, educational items, bath and body items, bikes, art kits, science kits, sports equipment or team items
BOYS 0-2 Years Old: activity quilts, play mats, bath toys, push or pull toys, toy cars or trucks, baby gyms, plush toys, musical toys, baby books, pajamas, educational toys (sorting, nesting, stacking, play sets) 3-5 Years Old: pajamas, ride-on toys, pedal and push toys, educational toys, role play toys, toy tools, toy cars or trucks, action figures, art kits 6-8 Years Old: pajamas, action figures, dramatic play (police, fire, and army play sets), construction, train or Lego/Magnetix sets, e-readers, remote operated toys, sporting goods 9-12 Years Old: remote operated toys, building sets, headphones, flat bill hats, hand-held electronic games 13-18 Years Old: gift cards for fast food or movie passes, headphones or earbuds, bikes MOST AGES: Any electronic item, scooters, educational items, bikes, art kits, science kits, sports equipment or team items.
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 9
Lewis said the concept has caught on in the community because it is not charity in the traditional sense of the word. Rather, it is a way for neighbors to help one another. “This event is the highlight of the year for us,” Lewis said. “Christmas is a tough time for many lowincome families. Parents often lack the resources to provide gifts for their children. Most charitable organizations try to meet this need by adopting families for Christmas, and delivering wrapped presents to the home just before the holiday. A generous and wellintentioned approach, it can also have unintended consequences. Instead, Peacemakers operates the toy store with the goal of providing a process by which parents can take pride in selecting, purchasing and wrapping the gifts for their own
10 | CHARM | Winter 2018
Nikkie Allen organizes children’s clothing Thursday while helping set up the Christmas Toy Store at Peacemakers of Rocky Mount.
children.” Lewis said, “It's all about dignity and empowerment.” Lewis said the organization is also looking for volunteers to work in the Christmas store Dec. 7-8 or the
week before pricing and organizing the toys. Anyone who is interested in helping the organization can call 252-212-5044 or go to http:// rockymountpeacemakers.org.
Find all your Chirstmas Gifts at Golden East Crossing! Please visit www.goldeneastcrossing.com, Facebook or Instagram for Holiday Hours and Events. 1100 N Wesleyan Blvd, Rocky Mount, NC 27804
(252) 977-6464 • www.goldeneastcrossing.com
KEFFER REAMS TEAM REALTY 120 N. Franklin St. Ste. C Rocky Mount, NC
Kathy Akers (252)266-4038
The highest compliment we can receive is the referral of your friends, family and business associates. Thank you for your trust.
– The Team
KefferReamsTeam.com | 252.210.3881
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 11
BRINGING FAMILIES TOGETHER
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12 | CHARM | Winter 2018
Join the Y as a family and enjoy all that we have to offer for everyone! You will be sure to enjoy your time together. The Y offers a place with something for the entire family! Child Watch Care, racquetball, family gym, family exercise classes, various family events & more! USE THIS AD AS A FREE GUEST PASS! *Bring this ad in for a free day by 12/31/2018.
H O L I D AY CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Style & Go FASHION EDITION
We’ve gathered together two of the best parts of the holiday season: Fun, holiday-themed events and fashion options from the area’s most fabulous small boutique businesses. So sit back, sync your calendars and find the perfect outfit to wear!
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 13
ABOUT THE LOCAL STORES Holiday Artisan Market Sponsored by the Nash County Cooperative Extension Agency and Nash County 4-H Club. Every Saturday, Dec. 1 – Dec. 22, 8 a.m. to 1 p.m. At the Nash County Farmers Market on Peachtree Street Support local artists and crafters! Find great craft items and art, while checking everyone off on your Christmas shopping list.
Christmas with the Celts At the Edna Boykin Cultural Center in Wilson Dec. 15 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $35 each and can be purchased at http://www. wilsonarts.com This event features the national touring show that became a fan favorite on PBS. The Celts mix lively traditional Irish tunes with Christmas melodies, a host of instruments and energetic Irish dancing. It will be special!
Blissful Boutique Blissful Boutique is a small boutique with a friendly staff that makes customers feel like they’re shopping with their best friends. Blissful Boutique offers a constant stream of new trends in clothing, shoes and accessories, at prices that won’t break the bank. Located at 3506 Jestream Drive in Wilson, you can visit their website at www.shopblissfulboutique.com
The Yellow Tulip The Yellow Tulip, owned by Diana Alford, offers trendy and affordable boutique items for any age. Shop in store, 1061 N Winstead Ave., Ste 102, in Rocky Mount, or visit and shop online, www.theyellowtulip.co
14 | CHARM | Winter 2018
Tawanda Alston, owner of Five Touch Spa and Salon in Wilson, is wearing brown snakeskin printed flared pants ($39), a V-neck top with front tie ($35) and a disc and stone layered necklace ($18), all from Blissful Boutique in Wilson.
Georgia is Holiday-Pops-ready in this gorgeous shift dress from Ginger’s Boutique in Tarboro. This fully-lined, Charlie Paige dress features a traditional silhouette updated with ruffled sleeves. The dress is $55 and also comes in a plaid fabric. Georgia is wearing her own strappy nude heels to complete the look.
Alyana’s Boutique Alyana’s Boutique at Kendall’s Hallmark Shop in Rocky Mount offers a great selection of clothing, jewelry, shoes and accessories, at all price-points. You’ll find fashion’s newest trends and classic staples with a friendly sales staff to help you find exactly what you’re looking for. Visit them at the Westridge Shopping Center or call at 937-4934.
North Carolina Symphony Holiday Pops Concert Dec 5 at 7:30 p.m. at Keihin Auditorium in Tarboro on the ECC Campus General Admission tickets are $25 and $10 for students. Order tickets by visiting https://www.edgecombe.edu/performance-series-event/northcarolina-symphony-holiday-pops-concert/
Ginger’s Boutique Ginger’s Boutique in Tarboro is owned by Ginger Crisp and offers women of all ages a fun and trendy place to shop. Ginger’s offers clothing, accessories, shoes, scarves, jewelry and more. Visit them at 215 E. Church Street in Tarboro or call, 252-592-1049.
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 15
Brandy Kannon, is ready for a holiday date night. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wearing the perfect little black dress (also available in burgundy) in a ribbed material with elegant slit-bell sleeves ($44). Pair with gold jewelry like these beaded hoop earrings ($15) and sexy black pumps, all from The Yellow Tulip in Rocky Mount.
A Christmas Carol, by Nash County Arts Council Shows at 7:30 p.m., Dec. 1, 2, 8, 9, and at 2:30 p.m., Dec. 3 and 10. At Nash Arts in Nashville, ticket info at nasharts.org. A local play based on Dickensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; most famous holiday story, featuring a cast and production crew of local artists.
Wreath Making Class Sponsored by the Nash County Master Gardeners Learn how to decorate your own live wreath! Three classes to choose from, 2 to 5 p.m. Dec. 2; 9 a.m. to noon Dec. 3; and 5 to 8 p.m. Dec. 3 At the Rocky Mount Farmers Market Sign up by calling 459-9810 by Nov. 27.
16 | CHARM | Winter 2018
Lisa Chappell knows how to combine style and comfort. This look is perfect for a matinee or evening viewing of a holiday play. Lisa pairs Tribal pants ($87) with a beautiful top from Vintage Concepts ($110). Her theme of comfort+style continues with her shoes, Joanie from Sorel ($150) and silver jewelry from Pandora. All from Alyanaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Boutique at Kendallâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hallmark, in the Westridge Shopping Center in Rocky Mount.
Tawanda is warm and casual
...in this Ash Purple scalloped chenille sweater ($48), a pair of medium wash skinny leg denim jeans ($64), Magnolia Bead and Horn necklace by SoCharm Designs ($72), and brown tassle and zip booties ($49). All from Blissful Boutique in Wilson.
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 17
Swingin’ Christmas with the Tar River Swing Band 7:30 p.m. Dec. 18 at the Dunn Center for Performing Arts on the campus of N.C. Wesleyan College. Tickets are $20 each, free for students. Call Dunn Center Box Office for tickets. The concert will feature holiday musical favorites in a swing-style performance.
Cathy Smith is ready for a night out on the town – with the Tar River Swing Band. Cathy is wearing Multiples Slimsation Pants ($64) and a gorgeous blue top by Tyler Boe ($131). Her shoes are Lisebeth from Bella Vita ($89) and her jewelry is by Uno De. All from Alyana’s Boutique at Kendall’s Hallmark in Westridge Shopping Center.
18 | CHARM | Winter 2018
A Charlie Brown Christmas At 7:30 p.m., Dec. 6-8 at the Imperial Centre A local play production featuring community artists, showing us how Snoopy, Charlie Brown and the gang find the real meaning of Christmas. Call 972-1266 for ticket information.
Brandy Kannon is looking forward taking her two children to the local production of “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” And we predict she’ll look good doing it! Here she’s wearing, a red plaid flannel shirt ($32), underneath a beautiful cream knit sweater ($36). Her dark wash super skinny jeans have great stretch and are available in sizes 1-13, ($36). Her tan ankle booties ($40) and Christmas bow earrings (available in gold, red, silver, green and pink, $15) can be worn many times throughout the season. Her red shopper bag has room for snacks, wallet, phone and all the extras you need for hanging out with your kids ($40). All available at The Yellow Tulip.
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 19
Georgia is ready to wave to Santa and grab some candy in this parade-worthy outfit: A Charlie Paige cape ($45), C.C winter hat ($25), Charlie Paige gloves with texting fingers ($12) and a waffle weave top by Racheal ($30). All from Gingerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Boutique in Tarboro. Georgiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own jeans, from American Eagle.
Community Parades The bands! The floats! Santa Clause! See one or go see them all! Rocky Mount Parade, 3 p.m., Dec. 2; Tarboro Parade, 2 p.m., Dec. 9; Nashville Parade, 5 p.m. Dec. 2; Christmas N Middlesex, starts at 10 a.m. Dec. 8, parade starts at 2 p.m.; and Pinetops, 10 a.m., Dec. 1.
20 | CHARM | Winter 2018
s u a l C is coming
YOUR LOCAL HOLIDAY GIFTS & OFFERINGS Winter 2018 | CHARM | 1
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Osborne Jewelers - Gene OsbOrne 3659 Sunset Ave. • Westridge Shopping Center • 443-1985 Mon - Fri 9am-6pm • Sat 10am-5pm
Serving eAStern nC For over 38 YeArS
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Furniture, clothing, games, antiques, rare books, gifts, art, tasty treats, Christmas trees, and a whole lot more!
Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss our Open House Event
All Day Saturday, November 24 (Shop Small Saturday) with Drawings, Giveaways, and Big Dawg Country live on site!
2916 Sunset Avenue at Englewood Square (in the former Stein Mart) Mon. to Sat.10:00 am to 8:00pm, Sun. noon to 6:00pm
Yours and Mine Consignment Boutique
Ladies Clothing, Maternity Clothing, Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Clothing & Items, Plus Size Ladies Clothing, Art Work, Knick Knacks, Household Items, Books, Shoes, Scrubs and so much more!
A Huge Thank You to my Consignors and Customers for 9 Years in Business! 3006 Sunset Ave. Open Tues-Fri 10am-5pm Englewood Square Shopping Center Sat 10am-3pm (252)985-0002 Closed Sun & Mon
Is The Birth Of Our Savior Jesus Christ
THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE YOUR FAMILY...
Be present for all the special moments! For appointments please call:
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Belgian Hot Chocolate
Recipe We asked Trax Coffee Bar in Station Square to share with us their favorite recipe for homemade hot chocolate. Trax Coffee Bar is open most days from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. and is a local favorite for custom roasted and brewed coffees, lattes, teas, mochas and more. The recipe here makes one cup, but get extra ingredients and serve to family and friends for a festive holiday get-together. Or, make one cup, just for you – it’s perfect for a cold wintery day! Enjoy!
Ingredients • 1 cup milk • 3 ounces Quality Dark Belgian chocolate 56% min; 72% max. • 1 1/2 ounces Quality Milk chocolate • 1 pinch of salt • 1 teaspoon vanilla • Whipped cream such as Reddi Whip in the can • Dash of cinnamon (optional) • 1 Tablespoon White sugar (optional)
Instructions 1. Add half milk, chocolate and salt in pan and heat on low heat. 2. Stir until all chocolate is melted. 3. Add remaining ingredients. 4. Heat on medium high heat. 5. Stir rapidly 6. Do not let boil 7. Once all ingredients are dissolved, serve warm. 8. Top with whipped cream and chocolate curls/shavings. 9. Enjoy!
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 29
L a S h aw n da â&#x20AC;&#x2122; s Look
30 | CHARM | Winter 2018
Get ready to be the holiday sparkle at your next get-together to celebrate the season. Lynette Gonzalez, esthetician and makeup artist at Garden Day Spa and Salon, gets LaShawnda Abram ready for a Christmas soiree. Lynette talks us through her beauty steps, as well as some of the season’s hottest makeup trends and tips. For LaShawnda’s look, Lynette offered these tips:
ALL THE PRETTY REDS Try different tones of red lipstick – the traditional Christmas red doesn’t have to be your only choice. Play around with deeper or brighter hues this winter season.
OMBRE IT UP Ombre lips are a great way to give your pout some dimension and provide a fuller look. Use a darker tone for the outer perimeter of the lip and a lighter hue in the center. Blend well with a brush or your fingers.
RED+GOLD Red and gold is always a holiday go-to trend that is hard to mess up – even on your face. The contrast flatters most all skin tones and can be played up, or toned down.
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 31
Lynette Gonzalez, esthetician and makeup artist at Garden Day Spa and Salon
Lynette says it’s important to start with a good base face when applying makeup. “Take care of your face and skin every day,” Lynette advises, “When you have good skin, you’ll need less makeup and it will take less effort to ‘get your face on’ every day.” GLOW LIKE YOU MEAN IT Go for a natural and dewy look for the daytime and add a beaming pop of highlighter to the high angles of your face to amplify and glam up for a night out on the town.
“It’s also important to prep and prime your face for heavy makeup you want to last all night,” Lynette says, “Prep your skin with moisturizer, primer or both and know what products work best on your skin. If you don’t know – consult with an esthetician near you.”
Last but not least, start with a little and add more as needed. “It’s easier to add more pigment than to take away. Start light and build to achieve the perfect look for you,” Lynette says.
On LaShawnda Foundation: Bare Minerals Bare Pro in Hazelnut Concealer: Eye Primer – Bare Mineral Correcting Concealer in Dark 2/Tan 2 Powder: Bare Minerals Tinted Minerals Veil Contour: Kat Von D Shade and Light Palette Bronzer: Bare Minerals Invisible Bronze in Dark Deep Blush: Bar Minerals You Had Me at Merlot Highlight: OFRA Cosmetics in EverGlow Eye Shadow: Anastasia Beverly Hill, Pure Cosmetics, Colour Pop Brows: Bare Minerals Definer Brow in Universal Dark and Pretty Vulgar Liner in Black Eyeliner: Pretty Vulgar Liner in Black Mist Mascara: Bare Minerals in Lashtopia Lashes: House of Lashes, Bambie Lips: Bare Minerals Liner in Graphic; Karity Liplock lipstick in Tick Tick Boom; Bare Minerals liquid lip in Naughty Setting Spray: Tarte Cosmetics, Ready Set Radiant
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 33
the HALLS Stores are decked out for Christmas Cheer and we found some holiday dĂŠcor favorites at local stores. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to never having too many twinkling lights or Santa figures in your house for the next 40 days!
34 | CHARM | Winter 2018
The Luxury Light Angel ornament adds some twinkle to your tree or window. These ornaments come in a variety of sizes, $16.99 to $26.99, at Johnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gifts and Furniture, Inc.
For those looking for a more traditional decoration for your home, we love this soft-touch Holy Family decorative piece, $104 from Bulluckâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Furniture Store and Kenilworth Gift Shop. Add some greenery and votive candles, find a special spot on a mantle or table, and enjoy all winter long.
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 35
Jim Shore’s Christmas carvings, figurines and ornaments are Southern holiday staples. Whether you have a collection or are looking for your first one, Kendall’s Hallmark Shop has a great selection with ornaments starting at about $16.99. This colorful tabletop St. Nick is $62 and is perfect to display with a collection or in your favorite coffee-drinking spot.
Sure to be a hit with the kids, this plush Santa and His Bag of Gifts is colorful and lights up with a twinkling string of lights. From Bulluck’s Furniture Store and Kenilworth Gift Shop, it’s $139.
36 | CHARM | Winter 2018
Wreaths and swags add beauty and color to your holiday design – inside or outside. John’s Gifts and Furniture offers custom designed wreaths for mantles, doors, porches or walls, or you can purchase your own to decorate, starting at about $26.99.
Candles are a great inexpensive way to decorate a room for the holidays and having a few festive themed candle holders can add some color and holiday spirit. We love this tall candle holder from Hallmark, $29.99, part of their Christmas In Evergreen Collection. Available at Kendall’s Hallmark Shop.
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 37
Closing out the year
Does the thought of Halloween and Thanksgiving immediately cause you to feel anxiety or fear about the approaching holidays? If so, then this column is for you!
LINDY W. KITCHIN, LCSW, LCAS
Every year, I often say to myself and hear my colleagues, friends and family say, “Didn’t we just celebrate the holidays?” It feels like each year draws closer to the next, yet we still have 365 days to prepare. Why on earth does a celebration of joy and hope seem so stressful sometimes? I know that as my children get older, what I thought would get easier, seems to grow more chaotic and confusing to manage. Not only do I stress about shopping for my children, I am usually tasked with delivering presents for grandparents, teachers and other family members. When community, church and other giving obligations are complete, most parents feel that they are pouring from an empty cup. These are some strategies that I have found helpful when counseling patients and helping my own family survive the chaos of the holidays.
Lindy W. Kitchin LCSW, LCAS, is a licensed mental health and addiction counselor and owner of Lindy W. Kitchin Counseling PLLC. Currently her private practice is located in the Roanoke Rapids area. She specializes in addiction counseling, serving both adults and children. She and her husband live in Scotland Neck on a family farm, with their three daughters, Deborah Hall, Law and Jayme.
38 | CHARM | Winter 2018
DON’T SET UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS As adults, we are all guilty of setting
We tend to be very unhappy when we wake up and fulfill other’s expectations versus what we expect of ourselves. We like to imagine what
PRACTICE TIME MANAGEMENT Holidays are a time for traditions. But, It can be hard to carry out the traditions that many of us hold on to. School and work schedules can be rigid and not allow for countless hours of shopping and wrapping or extra school, church and work festivities. Most people are struggling to manage
we think an experience will be like --
their time and obligations every day of
only to feel let down or disappointed
the year -- not just during the holidays.
when it arrives.
My advice to minimize the chaos of
What we must remember is that
being over extended is to accept that
children expect what we tell them to
we do not suddenly have extra hours
expect. Communication of realistic
in the day, just because it is December.
expectations can be very important
It is important to remember that
for all families, especially during the holiday season. Each family must set realistic expectations about the traditions and values that they place
many of the traditions of the holidays are set for us through commercials and what has been standardized in our culture. Adapt traditions to suit your family life.
on gifts. Children tend to be very gift-
Here’s an example: In my family,
focused and they will set unrealistic
we do not love the traditional menu
expectations if the adults around
of labor-intensive holiday meals. So, a
them let this happen.
few years ago, one side of my family
Personally, I work to set a balance
decided that we would continue with
for my children’s Christmas list
a traditional Thanksgiving meal, but
with the majority of items being a need versus a want. Setting realistic expectations of needs versus wants can greatly reduce chaos and stress during the holidays.
for Christmas, we would prepare a less complicated menu. We quickly realized that everyone was happy with a simple meal and our joy was found in just spending time together. Be aware of activities that work for your family – and those that don’t. Social and community activities can be a great source of fun and excitement, or torture, depending on the age of your children! I can remember signing up my older two children for a church Christmas program, only to have my whiny toddler make it almost impossible for them to participate. Choose activities that fit the season of life your family is in, and don’t feel guilty about saying no to some things.
HAVE AND ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE AND GIVE BACK No matter the budget, time or expectations which we have for the holidays, there is no greater joy than to give and expect nothing in return. Often we give to organizations that we do not have a personal connection to. We count our blessings that we can contribute financially and write a check. I encourage you to make this meaningful for your children, too. Last year I encouraged my children to tell me about someone they knew personally that had a need or maybe had been through an emotional hardship. We all agreed on a family we knew that had faced many obstacles in the months leading up to Christmas. We went shopping together and purchased gifts for them, and wrapped and delivered them to their home. It helped our family learn to look at every relationship and see what we could do to help or show we care. We already have someone in mind this year that that we’ll be helping -and a new tradition for our family has been established. A grateful heart is always a great place to start when we are trying to survive chaos. This holiday season think about the season of life you are in, set realistic expectations, resist obligating to activities that do not bring joy and practice an attitude of gratitude to find where you can fill a need. Merry Christmas to all!
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hostessing holiday table decor A pear with the bottom sliced off is a festive, unconventional way to decorate a place setting, said Liz Curtis, of Table + Teaspoon. It’s also one that guests often end up eating. NY Times Photo
A festive table setting is about more than just providing some décor for your holiday dinner. It can set the mood for a party, spark conversations among guests and give you an excuse to dust off your grandmother’s silver and china.
Here’s some advice for creating striking tablescapes. Start With Linens “The foundation of your holiday table is the textile you choose for your runner
Make It Personal “The holidays are a time to
or tablecloth and napkins,” said Liz Curtis,
celebrate family, so the most meaningful
the founder of Table + Teaspoon, a San
decorations weave together the personal and the
Francisco rental service that offers
festive,” said Bronson van Wyck, who owns a design
preplanned table settings starting at
and event production company, Van Wyck & Van Wyck,
$24 a person. Go with a neutral color and
company, likes to use purple eggplants, kale and bunches of root vegetables like radishes and beets to add texture, color and interest to her floral arrangements. “I am always inspired by the farmers’
At Christmas dinner for family and friends, van Wyck, who is of Scottish and Dutch descent, uses tartan-
to create “an elegant, elevated feel for
patterned napkins and blue-and-white china. “Not an obvious combination,” he said. “But even patterns that don’t seem to fit the occasion work if they’re mixed and matched with confidence and whimsy.”
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Rouge, a Manhattan floral design and event
with his mother, Mary Lynn van Wyck.
pattern, rather than a holiday theme, your guests,” Curtis said.
Decorate With Food Caroline Bailly, the owner of L’Atelier
markets,” she said. And
of different lengths allows certain elements to stand out, adding depth to the arrangement. “The flowers are so beautiful on their own,” she said. “You don’t want to them to be packed together.”
Incorporate Nature “In a season where many of us spend most of our time keeping warm indoors, there is something so special about using pieces from the earth, by adding a garland of greenery or winter fruits down the center of the table,” said Maggie Burns, the owner of Maggie Richmond Design, in Manhattan. “Pomegranates and figs add the perfect punch of holiday red to a place setting, and nothing smells more beautiful than sprigs of evergreen scattered throughout the house.” Van Wyck likes to hang a magnolia wreath. “It’s a traditional symbol of hospitality in the South,” he said. “And the leaves look just as great dried as they do
Flowers aren’t the only way to add color to a tablescape. Caroline Bailly, a Manhattan floral and event designer, uses vegetables like eggplants and kale. NY Times Photo
freshly cut, so it’s not a once-and-done purchase.” He added, “The combination of deep green and brown and gold is a perfect palette for holiday decorating. You get a lot of bang for your buck, because they work for Thanksgiving as well as Christmas.”
Avoid Clichés “Just because it’s Thanksgiving doesn’t mean that you’re required to put pumpkins and corncobs all over an orange tablecloth,” said Liz Curtis, of Table + Teaspoon. “Placing mandarins or oranges on each plate at a traditional blue Hanukkah table achieves style sans kitsch.” Occasionally, she’ll slice the bottom off a pear and stand it in the center of a plate as decoration, or cut a persimmon or pomegranate in half, with the sliced side up. “Every time I’ve put an orange or a pear or a quince on a plate, at least one guest ends up eating it,” she said.
Break Some Rules “I’ve never used a formula when setting Light a table, and I definitely don’t want the Candles it to feel so perfect that you’re “The easiest, least expensive afraid to mess it up,” said Ken way to add drama to the dinner table Fulk, an event designer in is to light some candles,” van Wyck said. San Francisco known for his “Everything and everyone looks amazing by exuberant style. “It should be loosely arranged for firelight. For the most flattering light, aim for a balance, but not perfectly mix of tapers and votives scattered the length of symmetrical.” the table.” Glassware and silver And don’t skimp on them. “You can never should be arranged in the have too many,” he said. “For a warm, order they’re used, starting from inviting glow, at least triple what you Designer Maggie Burns likes to run a garland of greenthe outside and working your way ery and winter fruits down the center of the table. NY think you’ll need.” in, he said. Times Photo
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 41
AUS IS CO L C MI A T
KID • CRAFT • FUN W E S UP E R SNO
A L F
Tracy Gosner, Arts Education Manager at the Imperial Centre for Arts and Sciences helped us come up with a simple, fun, winter-themed craft that’s fun for the whole family. These cutout “Super Snowflakes” can be as simple as you want or as elaborate as you can make them! Gosner suggests recycling used paper (from magazines, newspapers or old art projects) to use for this project.
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Here’s what you’ll need to make Super Snowflakes: Paint Brushes Glue Scissors Paper For this craft, you’ll cut out a snowflake and glue to a contrasting piece of paper. Here are the directions: 1. Paint a piece of paper any color you choose, or choose a colored piece of paper, or choose a recycled piece of paper, like from a magazine.
6. Unfold the paper to reveal your snowflake pattern. 7. Choose another piece of paper, of a contrasting color (or paint a piece of paper), a bit larger than your snowflake. Glue your snowflake to the paper.
Marquira White, 9, of Rocky Mount, makes a Super Snowflake.
2. Fold the paper in half diagonally, non-painted side out. 3. Cut off the excess paper, leaving a triangle. 4. Fold in half, and half again (optional) 5. Cut out shapes and lines using scissors, being careful not to cut all the way across the triangle. Cut as few or as many shapes as you like.
Gosner says you can punch a hole in your piece, tie some yarn on it and hang on Christmas tree or display a collection of them on a wall or in a window. “You might even want to do this project a few times, because as you make them, you’ll think of new ways to do it the next time,” Gosner suggested. The Imperial Centre for Arts and Sciences has several holidaythemed classes, featuring cards and ornaments, open to students of all ages and families. “We will also have winter and holiday themed crafts and projects at the First Friday event on December 7, at the Imperial Centre,” Gosner added.
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Make your own
Christmas Wreath A Christmas wreath is a favorite choice for decorating a front door for the holidays – or even inside your house.
we’re lucky we have access to fresh cut greenery.”
Other ideas to create a festive holiday wreath include:
Carolina Wreath offers live Frasier
Keep your wreath natural or add
fir wreaths and garlands in partnership
a large festive bow. If a bow isn’t your
Sherry Peele of Carolina Wreath
with the Sharpe Christmas Tree Farm
says starting with a live or artificial
in the North Carolina mountains. Ricky
wreath and decorating it yourself is an
Sharpe, from Nash County, has been
easy way to spruce up your house for
offering Christmas trees, wreaths and
garland in the Nash County area for
style, Peele says you can also secure your wreath by hanging it on a long, thick strand of bright red ribbon for a dramatic effect.
over 30 years. The trees and wreaths
If foraging in your garden or yard
says you can create a gorgeous holiday
are available in Nash County starting
is not up your alley, go to a craft store
wreath by just adding something as
and look for artificial add-ins for your
Peele prefers a fresh, live wreath and
simple as some red berries for a pop
Peele says you can find decorations
wreath. Peele says you can add gold or
of color, or make an elaborate creation
for your wreath right in your backyard.
silver features, like berries and metallic
with ribbons, holiday decorations, other
Most natural elements can be woven
sprigs of leaves, or get pieces that have
greenery and lights.
into the wreath greenery with some 22
been “flocked” or made to look like
“The most important thing is to be creative and have some Christmas
or 24-gauge floral wire. Things to look for in your yard:
spirit,” Peele advises. “And if you’re
• Contrasting greenery like holly
using a live wreath, make sure it’s fresh
leaves, Camilla bush leaves, magnolia
greenery so it will last throughout the
leaves and other evergreens like
boxwood stems, juniper or eucalyptus
Peele said she ships wreaths all over the country and she ensures her wreaths will be some of the freshest you can find. “Here in North Carolina,
leaves. • Berries from holly bushes or Nandina shrubs. • Large or small pinecones
they’re snow-covered. Peele says some even like to add in favorite Christmas ornaments, holiday glass balls and battery-powered strings of lights to wreaths. “There’s no real limit to what you can do to make a Christmas wreath. That’s what makes them so special and fun to make,” Peele said.
Winter 2018 | CHARM | 45
Tri-County Arts presents...
Clara and her crew are ready for the holidays! Tri-County Arts presents “The Nutcracker” at 5 p.m. Dec. 15 at Keihin Auditorium at ECC Tarboro campus. Tickets are $10 at the door, $8 in advance. Call 443-9199 for tickets, more information. This photo was shot at the downtown store location of Bulluck’s Furniture and Kenilworth Gift Shop on Church Street. Bulluck’s staff turns the store into a Christmas wonderland for the holiday season. Many local families have a tradition to visit the store before Christmas to see the thousands of twinkling lights and ornaments. Go check it out!
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the Season for
H O L I D AY F E S T I V I T I E S Community Thanksgiving Meal
Christmas Shopping at Southern
Rocky Mount Mill Chill
Nov. 21 from 1 to 3 p.m. at First
Nash High School Vendor Fair
Dec. 9 at 1:30 p.m. at the Rocky
United Methodist Church of RMT, 100 S. Church Street. Sit down and share a meal with neighbors in South Rocky Mount, or come volunteer to cook and serve.
Dec. 1 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at
Southern Nash High School
A 4-mile race followed by food,
Shop from some cool local vendors,
music and fun for the whole family –
all proceeds benefit the school PTO
whether you run in the race or not.
Proceeds from the race benefit the National MS Foundation, Greater
For more, information,
Tower Lighting at
Rocky Mount Mills
Tar River Chorus and Orchestra “Messiah” Sing A-Long Nov. 25 at 4 p.m. at First United Methodist Church
Dec. 1 at 6 p.m. at Rocky Mount Mills
See the Mills campus in full
Dec. 12 at 4 p.m. at First
Christmas regalia and the debut of
the Mill Tower’s Christmas Lights.
Nash Central High School Singers
There will be food and fun. Free to
join with the musical team at First
Presbyterian Church to perform a
Come hear a beautiful and audience-involved rendition of part of Handel’s “Messiah.” The event is free, but requires a new unwrapped toy for Peacemaker’s Family Toy Store, for admission.
holiday concert with all your favorite Meet the Express Employment
Heights Bird Park in Scotland Neck Have breakfast with Santa and the birds, in the beautiful bird sanctuary. Get tickets by calling 252-826-3186.
Professionals Clydesdales Dec. 1 from 1 to 5 p.m. at Ashlyn
Stables in Nashville
Dec. 14-16, from 6 to 8 p.m. each
Meet the horses, take a carriage
night at First Baptist Church of
ride and have fun playing games at
Rocky Mount, 200 S. Church Street
his family friendly event.
See actors and live animals depict
Breakfast with Santa Dec. 1 from 9 to 11 a.m. at Sylvan
the holy story of Jesus’ birth. The Light of Christmas Concert with the Tar River Children’s
New Year’s Eve Hop Drop
Dec. 31, starting at 8 p.m.
Dec. 7 at 4 p.m. at First Baptist
at Rocky Mount Mills
Live music, food and fun to ring in
Enjoy a fun Christmas concert with
the new year.
holiday songs and favorite carols.
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