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Editor’s Letter I am so excited! Many new things are in the works! I will be able to reveal them soon! I did an interview on the radio for SOHO fashion week. It was so amazing! The link for the podcast will be in the next issue. I am looking forward to summer!


Table of Contents

Page 33 Afloat in Inner Space by William Maltese Page 69 Haute Men’s Fashion White Out! Maybe Not! By William Maltese Page 115 So, Tell Me Dahlink by Brenda Burgett Page 117 Kay Pike


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Afloat in Inner Space WILLIAM MALTESE

Having written two New-Age books with Rocky Krogfoss — MEN, SEX + FOOD and CONSCIOUS ENERGY — as well as having co-authored GET-REAL VEGAN DESSERTS with Christina-Marie “GonzoMama” Wright; and THE GLUTEN-FREE WAY: MY WAY WITH Adrienne Z Milligan — I found myself being introduced, this last summer, in California, as “William Maltese, New-Age Wellness Guru”. So, I could hardly turn down the invitation from Float Spokane, in hinterland Liberty Lake, Washington, U.S.A., to experience an hour in one of its “New-Age” deprivation pods, all of my senses muted to cut me off from the real world and supposedly provide me the equivalent of four hours REM sleep. Deprivation pods, also known as isolation pods, are lightless, soundproof tanks, with about twelve inches of room-temperature high-content dissolved Epsom salts (magnesium sulfate), in which individuals float. The concept was invented in 1954 by John C. Lilly, a medical practitioner and neuro-psychiatrist while doing psychoanalysis training at the US National Institute of Mental Health. My first introduction to one came in 1980 when I saw the horror film Altered States wherein the protagonist begins experimenting with a flotation tank and hallucinatory drugs to the point where he hallucinates back to the event of his birth and beyond, regressing into a primitive stage of human evolution.

Bolstered by the realization that my session was only going to be for an hour, and NOT be accompanied by any kind of drug usage, I arrived at Float Spokane as scheduled and was provided with a fifteen-minute indoctrination video, detailing the location of light switches, in and out of the pod; a panic button, inside the pod; a spray bottle of regular water and a towel, in case any stray salt got into my eyes; and earplugs to wear while floating.


Each pod had its private individual room, allowing me to strip down to my birthday suit, put in the ear plugs, shower, turn off the room lights, climb into the open pod, pull the pod lid shut, turn off the pod lights, lie back into the twelve inches of Epsom-satiated water, and float freely, with literally no effort, for the next hour.

Soothing music played for the initial few minutes, then faded into complete silence until it resumed again, at the end of my time, with a concluding verbalized: “Your session is now over.” The pod began to decontaminate and filter as soon as I opened the pod lid, and it continued to do so while I showered for five minutes to be sure all of the salt had been washed free. (NOTE: I once swam in The Great Salt Lake, without a grand-finale shower and ended up looking like the Biblical Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt).

Did I emerge from my session, having experienced any vivid mental imagery, clear creative thoughts, sudden insights and inspirations, all ballyhooed as just a few of the possible float benefits; my mind having been free to explore thoughts without distraction, my brain freely pumping out dopamine, endorphins, and neurotransmitters of happiness? Actually, no. Had I become less depressed and less stressed? Those are harder to judge, since I wasn’t all that depressed and stressed when the session commenced. I did emerge, however, extremely and pleasantly relaxed, almost falling to sleep during the scheduled follow-up dinner. Will I be back for seconds? Probably, if just because a second time around will see me better acquainted with procedure and possibly more able to think of something, inside the pod, besides how much longer it’ll be before I’m out of it. (Photo by Victoria Day) William Maltese, author of over 200 internationally best-selling books, can be contacted at: williammaltese@yahoo.com.


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Haute Men’s Fashion WILLIAM MALTESE

White Out! Maybe Not! Did you hear the tintinnabulations of protesting church bells, the blaring of alarm claxons, the protestors with bullhorns, and all the loud tsk-tsking? Did you see all the raised eyebrows, and witness the back-turning shuns? Just because, a few days ago, in the middle of the Labor Day - to - Memorial Day time-span, dictated by the U.S. fashion police as a Wear-No-White Time Zone, I actually DID dare to wear white? Of course, you didn’t hear, or see, the non-existent uproar, because there are exceptions to every rule; even in the U.S. White is definitely okay, when in Hawaii, where I was, under clear blue and sunny winter skies, temperatures in the eighties. All the U.S.’s year-round warm spots are places where the Labor Day - to - Memorial Day ban on wearing whites becomes superfluous, because most of the inclement weather, rationalized as a good reason for the ban, back in “the day” — snow, sleet, hail, rain, and muddiness — which used to make people in white messy and, thereby, less socially presentable — are no longer the deterrents they used to be. Even if you’re not in Hawaii, these days, but, instead, in the dead of a northern U.S. hinterland winter, the trip, from the warm house to the warm car, to the warm party, to the warm car, and back to the warm house again, no longer requires traipsing across muddy and horse-shit dappled streets. And major urban winter-heat sources, these days, don’t include all that many fueled by dust-producing coal. Whatever the origin of the U.S. ban on winter-whites, it’s certainly not a rule ever adhered to outside the U.S. Coco Chanel, as far back as the 1920s, made her “little white dress” as much a part of any fashionable woman’s year-long wardrobe as her “little black dress”. And, there’s constant evidence of frequent resistance, even in the U.S, in that none other than U.S.’s former First Lady, Michele Obama, wore a snowy floor-length gown to her husband’s Inaugural Ball. Certainly, I have not paid any attention to the ban, throughout my life-time in fashion, if for no other reason than I’m a firm believer that rules, even fashion rules — like never wearing a brown belt with black shoes, or never combining different checkered patterns, or never wearing white after Labor Day — are often just made to be (albeit “tastefully”) broken. Besides which, “winter whites” can look decidedly fresh, and make you (yes, “favorably”) stand-out in a crowd, when no one expects you to be wearing them. I mean … if the Pope can wear white all year round, and still be fashionable, why can’t the rest of us? William Maltese, author of over 200 internationally best-selling books, can be contacted at: williammaltese@ yahoo.com.


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So, Tell Me Dahlink By Brenda Burgett

So, tell me Dahlink, Does the season have you longing or perhaps whining for winter to do its thing and have March winds blow it away? Have the spring flowers appeared in your neighborhood? Does the sun flirt with the clouds, only to get blown away by a cold wind? I live where winter can be compared to a dreaded relative who over-stays their welcome. They came for Christmas and got snowed in. Spring can be compared to the hint of a potential love affair, which is just around the corner. A love affair may be interchanged with any thought that works for you. Spring like a love affair, suggests upcoming warmth and excitement. Not a promise, but a hint. If you are fortunate enough to live in a climate of continuing sunshine, this may not mean much to you. Spring flowers are followed by more flowers and people find other topics to whine about? So, does all of the above give one reasons to whine? Yes, it does, there just doesn’t seem to be a graceful way to introduce the subject. I’m not talking about chronic whiners, instead just those of us who vent when enough is enough of anything! Give yourself a timeframe. I usually have a three or four-hour span of whining. After that it may be extended if I haven’t been listen to properly, or I have not received the right amount of agreement from a compassionate or agreeable ear. It is always more successful if shared by a kindred spirit and a great bottle of wine. I actually prefer great Gin, but to be socially correct, will make do with wine. It should be known that this doesn’t work with someone who is not going to agree with you, at least most of the time. It should perhaps be taught in some institution of higher learning, that recreational whining is a form of counselling and beneficial if directions are followed (loosely?). If it’s the time just before a season change, a fireplace is helpful. This can be a pool or the ocean just as easily, or what is easily accessible. Recreational whining is not to be confused with the dialogue that some people confuse with the script of their lives. I have known of those who, if encountered every ten years have managed to keep the same irritations they live by. It is often fine-tuned, to make it more enjoyable. Enjoyable for them it should be added. Sadly, they have lost contact with most of those they once talked to and it’s a constant search for new opportunities for new listeners. Very sad, on the surface, but seems to work for them, on some level. Have a great season and remember to keep me in mind, if you know of a great Island where I can reign as Queen and maybe have a whine person to listen to me on command? Just kidding of course! Happy Spring!


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Contessa's Court May 2017  

Contessa's Court is an international fashion and luxury lifestyle magazine focusing on fashion, beauty, travel, entertainment, food, and hom...

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