those men send you extra questions to answer. And they “nudge” you to answer them faster, or send you an “icebreaker.” And then you have to read through the profiles and find which ones actually interest you and message back and forth until you feel date ready. It’s a process. A very time-consuming, life-swallowing process. It made me feel completely incapable of having a relationship due to the time crunch. Beyond the fact that it makes you a social recluse, it all felt very set up. The moment my profile went live, I had men sending me messages and multiple choice questions like: What would you rather do on a first date? A) Have a picnic B) Watch a movie and eat popcorn C) A romantic candlelight dinner D) See a sports game. But then after my answers were given – D, of course, a date that involves beer, french fries and screaming your head off is perfection – silence would ring from the other end. And their pictures looked so professional, so retouched and, shall I say, fake. If their pictures seemed too good to be true, then their profiles were even worse. The answers all felt so feminine as if their mothers filled it out for them, or some, cough-cough, insider who merely wanted you to feel special and pretty for a day and think, hey people like me, they really like me. That way you pay the hefty fee to find “true love.” The two-party lies and outrageous amount of effort weren’t the only parts that troubled me. It all just felt so clinical. It took the romance out of love. All the important questions were already answered; the mystery was gone. The
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only thing left to find out was if you were attracted to one another. Which is hard, when it all seemed too planned, too forced and too much like buying a car. I also wanted to participate on a site that was more fitting for a student’s budget, a.k.a. free. There were a few options but I had heard some positive reviews about OKCupid.com. The reviews were wrong. Either that, or my friends are into some freaky stuff. This was one of the more frightening experiences. On the bright side, it made me feel good that I had standards and wouldn’t settle for the guy who messaged me who was in a polyamorous marriage and whose listed activities included child rearing. I wish I was kidding. But don’t worry, his wife had a profile as well. His even linked to it. The myriad of pictures of married men looking for “just sex” and nakedness made me thankful that I didn’t use my real name. If you are looking for a possible venereal disease, wanna-be Guidos and lots of moustaches, this is your site. From what I could gather before I erased my profile out of fear, there isn’t a whole lot of innocent, looking-for-potentiallove dating going on. It seemed like a lot of searching for mistresses and booty calls. It all felt very prostitution Craigslist-y. But, who am I to judge someone who lists sex as their hobby, interest and occupation. If I gained anything from this experience, it’s that yes, the stereotypical freaks are out there on these sites. But there are also quite a few normal people trying to find someone
to relate to. The people who have exhausted all other outlets for finding a companion and out of a last resort option have turned to the internet. They aren’t rejects or possible criminals, they are just busy and gosh-darn tired of trolling through the masses hoping someone has the guts to say, “I think you are intriguing, let’s explore this.” However, these people aren’t on OKCupid, so be prepared to pay for quality. More importantly though, I learned that I am not one of those people who wants to be a part of this new trend in finding love. I want the old-fashioned, eyes meeting from across the room, or more accurately me spilling my drink on you, and then seeing what happens from there. I want to learn about your obsession with your grandma a few weeks in on a rainy day when the smell of cookies is wafting through the air, not from a fact sheet. Either way, the odds are the same. Online dating may send them your way on a continuous assembly line, whereas conventional dating the pace is a little slower. But you still have to go through a whole lot of frogs. Oh – a few words to the wise, do not ever have someone pick you up. Looks and sentences can be deceiving. You too often hear the words, “but he looked so normal.” Never lend money to someone online who is claiming to love you. And, first dates should always be coffee. Alcohol clouds your judgement or could lead to a dinner situation. Quick getaways are necessary. You don’t want to wait to sober up, or for a check, to say goodbye to yet another Mr. Wrong.
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