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rock the runway with ada, 12 | ricky skaggs, 22 | kristina train, 24 | FLUFFY! 32 | funky brunch cafe, 34 Mar 26-Apr 1, 2014 news, arts & Entertainment weekly

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Mr& . Mrs.Music Bela Fleck and Abigail Washburn unite as a duo for the first time at the Music Festival Savannah Music Festival coverage begins page 20


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

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MAR 26-APR 1, 2014



Week At A Glance

compiled by robin wright gunn | Week At A Glance is Connect Savannah’s listing of events in the coming week. If you want an event listed, email Include specific dates, time, locations with addresses, cost and a contact number. Deadline for inclusion is 5pm Friday, to appear in next Wednesday’s edition.

Wednesday / 26 Film: Mystery Screening - A Giant Monster Movie From The 1970s

A monster movie, made in the 1970s, and it’s not a good film, by any stretch of the imagination. Raffling rare DVDs and other odd prizes. Hosted by the Psychotronic Film Society. For Immature Audiences. 8 p.m The Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave. $6.

SMF: Ladies Sing the Blues

Channeling the pioneering vocal styles of 1920s blues divas, the program features Catherine Russell and Charenee Wade. 5 & 7:30 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $40

SMF: The Jerusalem Quartet

This string quartet's outstanding interpretations have won BBC Music Magazine Awards, the Diapason d'Or Arte and the ECHO Classic Award. 6 p.m Trinity UMC, 225 West President St. $50

Thursday / 27 79th Annual Tour of Homes & Gardens

Self guided walking tours in different historic areas, mostly in downtown Savannah, and mostly featuring peeks inside private homes. Lectures, teas, and garden tours. Each event ticketed separately. March 27-30 Downtown Savannah. Tour prices vary. See website.

Savannah Music Festival: Ladies Sing the Blues wed / 26 QuiltFest Destination Savannah

Over 600 quilts, garments and works of textile art, including the national juried and judged quilt competition. 10 a.m.-6 p.m Savannah International Trade & Convention Center, 1 International Dr. $14 Th-Sat (includes re-admit) $12 Sun. Free under 16.

SMF: Daniel Hope & Friends Program 1 Performance by German-Canadian tenor Michael Schade. 6 p.m Trinity UMC, 225 West President St. $45

SMF: Christian McBride Trio/Cecile McLorin Salvant

Double bill with Christian McBride Trio and vocalist Salvant and her trio. 6 & 9 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $35

SMF: Ricky Skaggs & Kentucky Thunder/Sierra Hall

Southbound Brewing Co. Tours & Tastings

Comedy Central star touring for his new CD "Aloha Fluffy." 8 p.m Johnny Mercer Theatre, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. $42

A few tastes of the newest local brews. Tours are first come, first serve. 5:30-7:30 p.m Southbound Brewing Company, 107 E Lathrop Ave. $10 for souvenir pint glass and 6 tasting tickets. 21+ only.

Lecture by Karrie Hovey

Noted San Francisco-based artist Karrie Hovey will discuss the creative possibilities of recycled materials. Her installation is on display at the Jepson Center for the Arts. 6 p.m Jepson Center for the Arts, 207 West York St. Free and open to the public. MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Winner of the 2010 Thelonious Monk Competition,is joined by Aaron Diehl, Paul Sikivie and Rodney Green. 12:30 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $20

Fourteen-time Grammy winner with his bluegrass band. 7:30 p.m Lucas Theatre for the Arts, 32 Abercorn St. $65, $55, $45, $35, $25

Comedy: Gabriel Iglesias

Tea at Mrs. Davenport's

Tour areas of the Davenport House where tea service took place, then enjoy afternoon tea served by costumed interpreters. 4:30 p.m Davenport House, 324 East State St. $18. Reservations recommended.

A Moveable Feast Lecture: Homeless: Poverty and Place in Urban America

Armstrong's Ella Howard, assistant professor of History, presents a lecture in the series offered by AASU. 6 p.m Georgia Historical Society, 501 Whitaker St. Free and open to the public. 4

SMF: Cecile McLorin Salvant

Theatre: The Man Who Came to Dinner Flannery O’Connor Parade, Picnic and Street Fair Sun / 30

The Wilmington Island Methodist Players present the classic Moss Hart & George Kaufman comedy. 7 p.m Wilmington Island UMC, 195 Wilmington Island Rd. $10 Admission includes dessert. (912) 897-2835

Friday / 28 THEATRE: Sordid Lives

As three generations of a family in a Texas town gather for a funeral, they reveal the hilarious, trashy truth of their sordid lives. 7:30 p.m Tybee Arts Center, 7 Cedarwood Dr. $18 ($15 TAA Members) (912) 786-5920.

Brittany Schroeder: Soprano Concert Armstrong Dept of Art, Music & Theatre presents student performance/recital. 2:30 p.m Armstrong Fine Arts Center, 11935 Abercorn St. Free and open to the public.

Columbus Ships Nina and Pinta at Savannah Riverfront

These "floating museum" replicas of two of Columbus's ships are open daily for self guided tours. The Nina was buit by hand and without use of power tools. Archaeology magazine called the ship the most historically correct Columbus replica ever built. The Pinta was built in Brazil to accompany the Nina on all of her travels. March 28-April 7, 9 a.m.-6 p.m River Street Marketplace and Dock, 502 E. River St. $8 adults. $7 seniors. $6 age 5-16. Free age 4 and under. 787-672-2152.

Puppet People: Monkey Bubbles Workshop and Show Back by popular demand. 11 a.m Puppet People Studio, 3119 Furber Ave. Kids $15, Adults $10

SMF: Swing Central Jazz Finale

SMF's annual jazz concert will be a special evening devoted to the classic collaborations of Miles Davis, John Coltrane and Cannonball Adderley. Jason Marsalis will serve as musical director. 7 p.m Lucas Theatre for the Arts, 32 Abercorn St. $62, $52, $42, $32, $22

week at a Glance | continued from previous page Theatre: IMPROV

Christian McBride on bass, Christian Sands on piano and Ulysses Owens, Jr. on drums. 12:30 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $20

The Armstrong Masquers theatre troupe presents an evening of improvisational sketch live theatre in Armstrong Jenkins Hall Black Box Theater. 7:30 p.m AASU, 11935 Abercorn St. Free and open to the public. Limited seating.

SMF: Daniel Hope & Friends Program 2

Theatre: Syncopation

Second chamber music performance featuring one of the world's leading tenors, Michael Schade. 6 p.m Trinity UMC, 225 West President St. $45

Savannah Stage Company presents Allan Knee's romantic comedy. Directed and choreographed by Brea Cali. 8 p.m Black Box Theatre, 9 Henry St. $32. $28 Military/Senior. $10 Student. 912-341-6495.

SMF: Late Night Jam

Following the Swing Central Jazz finale, the jazz party continues with SMF's late night jam session and some red hot swing. 10 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $30 / $20 with SCJ Finale ticket


Country music star Gill has sold more than 26 million albums. 8 p.m Johnny Mercer Theatre, 301 West Oglethorpe Ave. $75, $62, $52, $42, $35

Theatre: The Importance of Being Earnest Savannah Music Festival: Cecile McLorin Salvant Thu / 27 Southbound Brewing Co. Tours & Tastings

A few tastes of the newest local brews. Tours are first come, first serve. 5:30-7:30 p.m Southbound Brewing Company, 107 E Lathrop Ave. $10 for souvenir pint glass and 6 tasting tickets. 21+ only.

Oscar Wilde's "trivial comedy for serious people" is presented by the Savannah Children's Theatre. 7 p.m Savannah Children's Theatre, 2160 East Victory Dr. Adults $15 Children (1-18), Seniors & Military $12

Wilmington Island Methodist Players present classic Moss Hart & George Kaufman comedy. 7 p.m Wilmington Island United Methodist Church, 195 Wilmington Island Rd. $10 Admission includes dessert. (912) 897-2835

Tree ID Hike

A one-mile hike with a ranger to learn how to identify some common trees found on Skidaway Island and in Savannah. 2 p.m Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy. $5 parking fee. Annual passes available. (912)598-2300.

Saturday / 29 THEATRE: Sordid Lives

As three generations of a family in a Texas town gather for a funeral, they reveal the sad, trashy truth of their sordid lives. 7:30 p.m Tybee Arts Center, 7 Cedarwood Dr. $18 ($15 TAA Members) (912) 786-5920. Take the trail less traveled and hike the avian loop with a park ranger. 2 miles. 2 p.m Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy. $5 parking fee. Annual passes available. (912)598-2300. SkidawayIsland

Theatre: syncopation 28/29/30

Includes a free "Charter School 101" class covering operation, philosophy and culture of public charter schools. 9 a.m.-noon Coastal Empire Montessori Charter School, 301 Buckhalter Rd. Free to attend. Reservations required.

Forsyth Farmers Market

Local and regional produce, honey, meat, dairy, pasta, baked goods. 9 a.m.-1 p.m Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St.

Karrie Hovey: Art and Recycling Workshop for Teens

79th Annual Savannah Tour of Homes & Gardens 27-30

Theatre: The Man Who Came to Dinner

Avian Loop Hike at Skidaway

Charter School Job Fair

Don't throw it out — make art! San Francisco-based artist Karrie Hovey will raise awareness of the creative possibilities of recycled materials through a fun art workshop for teens. Her installation is on display at the Jepson. 10 a.m.-noon Jepson Center for the Arts, 207 West York St. Free and open to the public.

Outdoor Art Show/KIDs Art Festival

Filled with arts activities for the entire family including kids’ art, music, theatre, and dance activities. The artwork of faculty, students, and alumni will be available for purchase. 10 a.m.-4 p.m Armstrong Fine Arts Center, 11935 Abercorn St. Free and open to the public. 912-344-2801

Paws for a Cause Fundraiser

Benefiting Savannah's One Love Animal Rescue group. Artisan Market from noon6PM, bake sale, and evening of entertainment, raffles, silent auctions, and more 7-10PM. Entertainment by: Basik Lee, Brian Bazemore, Greg Rettig, Craig Tanner, Gigi Raks, Yavanna, Nicole Edge, Mahree Raqs, The Coastal Casineros, and The Wave Slaves. 12-10 p.m The Foundery Coffee Pub, 1313 Habersham St. Free and open to the public. Donations to the shelter appreciated (financial or materials/pet food.)

Rock the Runway: Flower Bomb: Reawaken Your Senses

Transition from winter to spring at this annual benefit for American Diabetes Association. Includes a Red Carpet PreParty, runway fashion show, open bar and decorated food stations. 5:30 p.m Savannah Station, 601 Cohen St. $45. Students $25. 912-353-8110. continues on p. 6

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

SMF: Christian McBride Trio


week at a Glance | continued from previous page SMF: Piano Showdown

Southbound Brewing Co. Tours & Tastings

This show features a pair of 9-foot Steinways and four jazz pianists with expansive repertoires and a spontaneous approach to the music. 3 p.m Trustees Theater, 216 East Broughton St. $55, $45, $35, $25

A few tastes of the newest local brews. Tours are first come, first serve. Live music on Saturdays. 2-4 p.m Southbound Brewing Company, 107 East Lathrop Ave. $10 for souvenir pint glass and 6 tasting tickets. 21+ only.

SMF: Benjamin Hochman, Piano

SpitFire Saturday Open Mic & Showcase

Janacek, Beethoven, Brahms. 6 p.m Trinity UMC, 225 West President St. $45

The monthly open-mic showcase that incorporates music, poetry, visual art, and many other artistic forms of expression. Sign up begins at 7:30pm. 8 p.m Muse Arts Warehouse, 703 Louisville Rd. $3 Spitters. $5 Sitters.

SMF: Taj Mahal Trio/John Simon

Pianist and composer John Simon opens. Then Grammy-winning guitarist Taj Mahal performs his unique take on the blues. 8 p.m Lucas Theatre for the Arts, 32 Abercorn St. $65, $55, $45, $35, $25

SMF: Gibson Brothers/Lonesome River Band A bluegrass double bill. 12:30 & 7 p.m Ships of The Sea Museum, 41 MLK Jr Blvd. $25

Theatre: Sordid Lives 28-31 SMF: Pokey LaFarge / Kristina Train

Pokey LaFarge and his band perform his mix of early jazz, string ragtime, country blues and western swing. Savannah native Kristina Train is joined by former collaborators Paul Olsen (Scrapomatic), Mike Mattison (Scrapomatic, Derek Trucks Band, Tedeschi Trucks Band), guitarist Dave Yoke (Dr. John), bassist Ted Pecchio and drummer Tyler Greenwell (Tedeschi Trucks Band). 5:30 & 8:30 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St.



Skidaway Island Bird Hike

Join Camphost Nell for an informative morning bird hike. Bring binoculars. 9 a.m Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy. $5 parking fee.

The Armstrong Masquers theatre troupe presents an evening of improvisational sketch live theatre in Armstrong Jenkins Hall Black Box Theater. March 28-29, 7:30 p.m AASU, 11935 Abercorn St. Free and open to the public. Limited seating.

Theatre: Syncopation

Savannah Stage Company presents Allan Knee's romantic comedy. Directed and

MARILYN Celebrating an AmericAN Icon


A P R I L 04

JULY 27, 2014

JULY 27, 2014


Theatre: IMPROV


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Presented by:


OPENING CELEBRATION! THURSDAY, APRIL 3 6PM LECTURE / 7PM RECEPTION / JEPSON CENTER 207 W. YORK ST. Lecture by Telfair Museums’ Director and CEO, Lisa Grove. Free to Telfair members or with paid admission. Includes light appetizers and cash bar for beer and wine.


week at a Glance | continued from previous page

Savannah Music Festival: Pokey LaFarge 29 / 30

Theatre: The Importance of Being Earnest

Oscar Wilde's "trivial comedy for serious people" is presented by the Savannah Children's Theatre. 3 p.m Savannah Children's Theatre, 2160 East Victory Dr. Adults $15 Children (1-18), Seniors & Military $12

Theatre: The Man Who Came to Dinner

The Wilmington Island Methodist Players present the classic Moss Hart & George Kaufman comedy. 2 & 7 p.m Wilmington Island UMC, 195 Wilmington Island Rd. $10 Admission includes dessert. (912) 897-2835

Walk for Autism

Autism Speaks U, the Armstrong Atlantic State University chapter, hosts their third annual walk to raise research funds. 9 a.m.-2 p.m Lake Mayer, 1850 E. Montgomery Crossroads. 912.484.6487.

Wilmington Island Farmers' Market

Vendors offering produce, prepared foods, crafts, plus storytime, music. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. 111 Walthour Rd @ Islands Community Church. Free and open to the public

Zumba Party in Pink Fundraiser for Susan G. Komen For the Cure

A Zumba Party in Pink to raise money for Susan G. Komen For the Cure. Childcare will be provided. 12-2 p.m Hubert Middle School, 768 Grant Street. $10. $5 students with ID

Sunday / 30 THEATRE: Sordid Lives

As three generations of a family in a Texas town gather for a funeral, they reveal the sad, trashy truth of their sordid lives. 3:30 p.m Tybee Arts Center, 7 Cedarwood Dr. $18 ($15 TAA Members) (912) 786-5920.

Big Ferry Guided Hike at Skidaway State Park A two-to-three mile hike through a maritime forest, learning early history of Skidaway. Meet at the Big Ferry Trail Head. 2 p.m Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy. $5 parking fee. (912)598-2300.

Flannery O’Connor Parade, Picnic and Street Fair

Celebrate the writer’s birthday. Walk in the parade that starts at 3pm and finishes up with birthday cake. Live music by Andrew Hartzel, Anna Chandler and other ambling minstrels. Costumes inspired by Flannery O’Connor characters, settings or the author’s life are optional. Shop for vintage items, funky accouterments and parade accessories from local vendors. 1-4 p.m Lafayette Square, Abercorn and East Macon Streets. Free and open to the public. 912.233.6014.

High Tea on a High Note: Les Taylor, Baritone

The first in a series of concert and high tea/appetizers events. Les will perform songs from "Fiddler on the Roof", "Man of La Mancha" and "Oliver". Reservations requested. 4 p.m Wesley Oak UMC, 3124 East Victory Drive. Free and open to the public. Donations encouraged. 912-352-0844 continues on p. 8

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

choreographed by Brea Cali. 2 & 8 p.m Black Box Theatre, 9 Henry St. $32. $28 Military/Senior. $10 Student. 912-341-6495.


week at a Glance | continued from previous page Morning Bird Watch on Skidaway Island

Learn basics about local birds as they visit feeding stations. 10 a.m Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy. $5 parking fee. Annual passes available. (912)598-2300.

SMF: Bela Fleck & Abigail Washburn

This is their first performance to embrace the intricate art of the duet. 3 p.m Lucas Theatre for the Arts, 32 Abercorn St. $60, $52, $42, $32, $22

SMF: Daniel Hope & Friends: English Masterpieces

Vaughan Williams, Elgar 6 p.m Trinity United Methodist Church, 225 West President St. $45

SMF: Pokey LaFarge / Kristina Train

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Pokey LaFarge and his band perform his mix of early jazz, string ragtime, and swing. Savannah native Kristina Train is joined by former collaborators. 4 & 7 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $35


Theatre: Syncopation

Savannah Stage Company presents Allan Knee's romantic comedy. Directed and choreographed by Brea Cali. 2 & 8 p.m Black Box Theatre, 9 Henry St. $32. $28 Military/Senior. $10 Student. 912-341-6495.

Theatre: The Importance of Being Earnest

Oscar Wilde's "trivial comedy for serious people" is presented by the Savannah Children's Theatre. 3 p.m Savannah Children's Theatre, 2160 East Victory Dr. Adults $15 Children (1-18), Seniors & Military $12

Vinyl Appreciation

How-to-DJ demos from 5pm-6pm. Graveface Records & Curiosities sells new and used records and Foxy Loxy provides complimentary treats. 5-10 p.m Muse Arts Warehouse, 703 Louisville Rd. $3 donation

When Humanity Fails

Exhibition educates about the events that led to the Holocaust during WWII, as well the stories of the U.S. soldiers who liberated the concentration camps. Opening reception 4-5:30pm Jewish Educational Alliance, 5111 Abercorn St. Free and open to the public.

Monday / 31

Tuesday / 1

THEATRE: Sordid Lives

Dakota Jackson lecture: “On Creativity”

As three generations of a family in a Texas town gather for a funeral, they reveal the hilarious, trashy truth of their sordid lives. 7:30 p.m Tybee Arts Center, 7 Cedarwood Dr. $18 ($15 TAA Members) (912) 786-5920.

Midtown Miracle Community Garden Ribbon Cutting

Mayor Jackson cuts the ribbon on this Morningstar Arts community project. Bring produce and protein products for Second Harvest. Park at the JEA. 11:30 a.m Abercorn and E 64th Street.

SMF: Hope, Lage, Block, FranchBallaster & Jordan

Features U.S. premiere of "The Given Note.” 7 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $40

SMF: The Casey Driessen Singularity

Driessen's high energy fiddle style straddles the line between roots and jazz. 12:30 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $20

SCAD's School of Building Arts Lecture Series presents designer and honorary chair of furniture design Dakota Jackson. 5:30 p.m SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd. Free and open to the public.

SMF: Avi Avital, Dover Quartet

Recognized by The New York Times for his "exquisitely sensitive playing." 6 p.m Congregation Mickve Israel, 20 East Gordon Street. $45

SMF: Frank Vignola & Vinny Raniolo Two masters of the six-string guitar. 12:30 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $20

SMF: Guitar Heaven: Julian Lage & Chris Eldridge/Frank Vignola & Vinny Raniolo Four virtuoso guitarists. 6 & 8:30 p.m Charles H. Morris Center, 10 East Broad St. $35

editor’s note

Do you know who I am? by Jim Morekis

Raise your hand if this has ever happened to you: You want to drive your car. But you hurt your right arm. So you shift gears with your left hand. That’s difficult and uncomfortable. So you tuck the seat belt under your arm instead of over your shoulder. A cop stops you for not wearing your seatbelt properly. Defying years of common sense and general consensus that the best thing to do when a cop stops you is stay in your car — you begin to get out of your car anyway. The cop pulls his gun on you. The cop doesn’t shoot you. But he writes you a ticket for a seatbelt violation. The cop does not charge you for driving unsafely by shifting gears with the wrong hand. You decide to fight the $15 seatbelt ticket in court. Not a typo—it’s a fifteen-dollar ticket. The judge dismisses your seatbelt violation. You file a formal complaint against the cop. The cop gets in trouble for drawing his weapon when you tried to get out of the car. The cop has to take courses on use-offorce training, and take a “fitness for duty” exam. The cop sues the City. Sound familiar? Oh, I left this part out because it almost certainly doesn’t apply to you: During the traffic stop, you quickly identified yourself as the Savannah city manager’s spouse. This is what happened in July 2013, when Robert Cutter, husband of Savannah City Manager Stephanie Cutter, was pulled over by Officer Frank Reteguiz of the Savannah/Chatham Metropolitan Police—a department which, it must be said, is high on the city manager’s agenda due to top-level corruption issues. I usually don’t bend over backwards to defend police who are quick to pull their guns out. Not a fan.

For me though—and I suspect also for Reteguiz’s lawyer—the thing that really doesn’t make sense about the City’s position is this: If Mr. Cutter feared personal retaliation by the police because of who his wife is— why then did he immediately mention his wife’s name out of “panic?” Another thing: If all this is indeed a “no harm, no foul” situation, as the City apparently prefers us to think, then why was the officer sent to a remedial course and forced to take an exam? And why did Mr. Cutter file a formal complaint against Reteguiz? And why did Mr. Cutter choose to fight the $15 ticket in court and not just pay it? Since no one disputes that he was wearing his seatbelt improperly?! Look, I’m not stupid and I’m not naïve. I understand that people in power and close to power will always get more of the benefit of the doubt than those who aren’t. That’s the way of the world. It was always thus. Life ain’t fair, etc., etc. The phenomenon of powerful people getting favorable treatment—or appearing to get favorable treatment—didn’t begin with this city manager, and won’t end with her either. And I’m trying very hard to separate this story from the unfortunate and almost certainly unrelated fact that the Cutters’ son has a long and notorious history with law enforcement. He currently faces serious drug felony charges and is looking at prison time. Or……..? I know, it’s not fair to bring that situation up. Not fair at all. But then again, given the circumstances, Reteguiz, however, begs to differ. So does you could also say it’s impossible not to at his attorney, Will Claiborne, who is also handling the dozen-odd other cases against least think about it. That’s why the phrase “appearance of the City involving alleged high-level retaliaimpropriety” is so important, and so often tion against employees. applied to those in power. Interestingly, the City says Mr. Cutter Even if Mr. Cutter is totally blameless dropped his wife’s name out of “panic” when of using his marriage to the city manager he saw the officer’s weapon. In addition to the official position, there is to turn the situation to his advantage, the situation as it played out certainly gives the other, informal talk defending Mr. Cutter. appearance otherwise. Some say that because his wife, the city And once again, Savannah is faced with manager, is responsible for terminating yet another situation involving its leaders several officers involved in the corruption which will have no good ending either way, scandal, Mr. Cutter has every reason to be suspicious of local police. That he has every which will only add to the steady drip-drip reason to believe they might retaliate against of erosion in public confidence. cs him personally. But people get shot all over Savannah literally every week. In this gun-crazy town I worry about the cop that’s not worried about his or her own self-defense. The City’s official party line is that it was against policy for Reteguiz to draw his weapon since it was a “non-felony traffic stop,” even though they admit the gun was drawn in the “low/ready position.” In an official report, one of Reteguiz’s superiors is quoted as telling Reteguiz “the average person is going to try and get out of their car” during a traffic stop. Really? Maybe in 1974. Not 2014. No. Here’s where it gets really weird: The City expressly claims Reteguiz was not disciplined for his actions during the stop. They claim—and again, this is the official party line—that because Reteguiz isn’t losing pay or rank, that’s not the same as being disciplined.

Even if Mr. Cutter is blameless of using his marriage to the city manager to turn the situation to his advantage, the situation as it played out certainly gives the appearance otherwise.

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Administrative Chris Griffin, General Manager (912) 721-4378 Editorial Jim Morekis, Editor-in-Chief (912) 721-4360 Bill DeYoung, Arts & Entertainment Editor (912) 721-4385 Jessica Leigh Lebos, Community Editor (912) 721-4386 Robin Wright Gunn, Events Editor Sinjin Hilaski, Social Media Guru MAC, Fine Arts Intern Michele Mobley, Photo Intern Contributors John Bennett, Matt Brunson, Lee Heidel, Geoff L. Johnson, Cheryl Solis, Jon Waits Advertising Information: (912) 721-4378 Jay Lane, Account Executive (912) 721-4381 Lauren Schoenecker, Account Executive (912) 721-4388 Design & Production Brandon Blatcher, Art Director (912) 721-4379 Alice Johnston, Graphic Designer (912) 721-4380 Distribution Wayne Franklin (912) 721-4376 Michelle Bailey, Susan Magune Classifieds Call (912) 231-0250 MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

News & Opinion


News & Opinion | The (Civil) SOciety Column

red c over Number Six Will Shock and Amaze You: A harbor deepening top 10 list

to dredge the Savannah River. You may have read that this is how mean ol’ President Obama is punishing Gov. Nathan Deal for So, how did you his refusal to expand Medicaid (and spend Thursday night possibly for calling him a Commie Muslim last week? Rockin’ weakling behind his back all these years.) out to the Avett Don’t be so vain, Georgia RepubliBrothers concert cans. Nobody’s port project got its money— and the problematic Water Resources and at the Savannah Development Act remains in limbo in the Music Festival? U.S. House of Representatives. Maybe, just Busily completing brackets after the Texas Longhorns’ win over Arizona State? Maybe maybe, the hold-up means that the curyou were just clipping your toenails in front rent administration is starting to rethink its national port strategy. Or more specifically, of Scandal. it’s thinking about having one at all. But I’m pretty sure where you were not: Yet state politicians and their friends At the Sierra Club meeting. insist that using our tax monies to start digIt’s a shame, because president Steve ging anyway is a grand idea, even the DemoWillis presented a rather enlightening crats. (Et tu, Jason Carter?!) overview of the Savannah River Harbor Willis and the rest of us who question the Expansion Project. Many have asked for long-range consequences of SHEP hardly more facts regarding this economically uncertain, environmentally treacherous and stand a chance against that kind of blind extremely expensive proposal, but it seems bipartisanship, and even those who aren’t Willis prepared his riveting Powerpoint for sold believe resistance is futile. And it well a mostly empty room. may be, as a dozen lefty liberals in church While he understands that it’s hard to basement are hardly a threat to Georgia’s compete with a soundbyte, what Willis teratoid political-industrial complex. really wants is for Savannahians to look “People don’t really go to meetings anybeyond the biased, Port Authority-approved more,” lamented vice chair Karen Grainey. information they read in the daily paper. “We need a new strategy.” “People need to be reminded that In the age of Attention Deficit Armchair the Port Authority is a state agency,” he Activism, we agreed it might help if Wilexplained. “They’re spending a whole lot lis’ meticulous slideshow was distilled into of money on trying to sell you on this and one of those snappy, Buzzfeed-type lists to they’re using your money to do it!” click and share. It would be a damn shame Since we last checked in with this modto let this diabolical plan go down without a ern version of the Emperor Has No Clothes, fight. Or at least a really vigorous Facebook the White House has announced there thread. would be no millions in the federal budget So here you go: By Jessica Leigh Lebos

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Ten Reasons Why Rushing the Savannah Harbor Deepening Is A BAD Idea: 10. It ain’t never gonna be deep enough. Even Atlanta mayor and deepening cheerleader Kasim Reed admits that the Savannah River would have to be 50 feet to compete with other ports. But analysis by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers shows that benefits tank and risks surge any deeper than 47 feet. So SHEP essentially will spend almost $700 million just to fall short … pretty shallow logic, no? 9. River ports just aren’t meant for super-sized ships. Imagine a ship bigger than an aircraft carrier snaking its way 37 miles up the Savannah River, past Tybee’s North Beach, past the liquid gas bubble domes of Elba Island and throwing serious shade on that cocktail you’re having at Rocks on the Roof. 8. Those big ships aren’t coming anytime soon. Or like, ever. Global experts warn that the promised business they’re supposed to bring is mostly hype. Also, the Panama Canal expansion—cited as the main reason for dredging U.S. ports— stopped operations for weeks last month due to budget shortfalls. Some speculate it may shut down altogether. 7. Turns out those big ships are way too big for the Panama Canal, anyway. Shipping companies are already building vessels to hold 18,000 TEUs for the Suez Express route as the floundering Panama Canal project maxes out at 13,000 TEU capabilities. Can we stop calling them “post-Panamax” ships and simply refer to them as Floating Leviathans?

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The (Civil) SOciety Column | continued from previous page half of the total SHEP price tag—doesn’t address any of the long-range effects. Plus, those Speece cones don’t really jive with our historic architecture. 2. It puts Savannah’s strongest economic arm in jeopardy. While so many claim SHEP will create jobs, jobs, jobs, the Corps itself reports not a one; it may even result in fewer workers. However, the influx of pollution, traffic and crime that follow port expansions will surely have a negative effect on tourism. Who wants to visit a city on a dead river? 1. Savannah will forever be changed. How would you like that wild shrimp to taste—paper or plastic? The increase in shipping containers won’t boost the local economy, but a legacy of toxic dredgings and industrial waste will despoil everything we hold sacred about our historically-rich jewel of city. Once this is broken, it can’t be fixed, folks. Keep looking past the propaganda and ask who actually benefits from this project. Unless you own a shipping company or a politician, it’s not likely going to be you. cs Want to see the full presentation? “Like” Coastal Group of the Georgia Sierra Club on Facebook or email

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6. It’s totally offline with what the rest of the world is doing. The Economist reports that only five deepwater ports will be developed in all of Europe. Shanghai and Rotterdam tore down their river ports and rebuilt on the ocean, where the environmental impact is minimal and ships the size of Rhode Island can come call whenever they like. Here in the U.S., 17 U.S. Ports are currently under consideration for expensive dredgings, with no cohesive strategy in sight. 5. It threatens the local water supply. No one knows if piercing the Floridan Aquifer is really a possibility. But saltwater intrusion is a certainty, so much so that a freshwater reservoir must be built—then financially maintained by the City of Savannah taxpayers. That’s you and me. 4. The money isn’t there, remember? Gov. Deal has pledged to start digging this summer with only a third of the funds secured. Pretty weird for a fiscal conservative. When was the last time your remodel came in on budget?  3. The environmental nightmare hasn’t even begun. Nevermind the suffocated fish, the salty water and thousands of acres of destroyed wildlife refuge: The $300+ million for “environmental mitigation”—almost


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ADA fights

diabetes with


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Rock the Runway 2014 springs forward to Savannah Station

12 Models from St. Vincent’s Academy preview spring fashions from Bleubelle, Veronica’s Closet and Maggie Harney. Hair: B Street Salon. Make-up: Jennifer Lovett.

Community | continued from previous page

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you say, ‘hashtag, overachiever,’?” he laughs.) For Rock the Runway 2014, Cartee has once again enlisted B Street Salon for Photos by michele mobley hair and Jennifer Lovett for special effects make-up, though instead of green zombie The coldest winter in recent memory may have been wickedly miserable, flesh tones, models from St. Vincent’s Academy and SAA will be adorned with crisp but take heart that it’s inspired something blue hues and dusty pinks to emulate the gorgeous and grand. As the air warms and the flowers unfurl, moment of awakening from the thaw. The the glorious coming of spring is the theme of concept includes slick pin curls and snowRock the Runway, the annual fashion event dusted eyelashes, as previewed in a first-dayand gala presented by the American Diabe- of-spring fashion shoot in Forsyth Park. “We want them to look like they’ve tes Association this Saturday, March 29. been chiseled right out of an iceberg,” he For creative director Kevin Cartee, the describes. “Flower Bomb” motif couldn’t have been The inimitable stylist extends his vision more germane. beyond the runway, transforming Savan“I’m sick of this Polar Vortex stuff. I live nah Station into a verdant indoor paradise in Savannah for a reason!” declares Cartee. “As we were starting to plan, I thought, ‘We with boxwoods, redbuds and blooming cherry trees from local petal pushers Hester need an explosion of spring!’” & Zipperer. Outdoors on the red carpet, Featuring flowing frocks and festive guests can groove to Electric Grandma and accouterments from local boutiques Bluebelle, JPaige, Kathi Rich, Palm Avenue and pose with their favorite fancy vehicle from New River Auto Mall’s luxury fleet. Veronica’s Closet, the production includes Guests will be led through the parlor and contributions from Savannah-based fashion warmed with beverages and snacks from innovators Faith Thornburg and Maggie Jumping Goat Coffee before entering the Harney. The event also offers a chance to view the breathtaking original designs from main space for dinner and the runway show. Tickets to Rock the Runway are $45 and this year’s sold-out Junk 2 Funk Fashion Show at Savannah Arts Academy, at which include an open bar and dinner from Leoci’s, bar food, Corleone’s and Form II Table. Cartee served as a judge. “This is meant to be an immersive, interA fashion expert and corporate style consultant with clients all over the Lowcountry, active experience,” promises Cartee. “We are Cartee provides etiquette advice to students escorting you into spring bliss.” Conceived as part of the ADA’s tremenand professionals—and can whip up a phodously successful “Kiss-A-Pig” campaign tography shoot on a moment’s notice. He that raises hundreds of dollars annually, the donates his time to several charities and is fashion show has become a staple event for responsible for last year’s memorable “glam zombie” fashion show for the ADA. (“Can continues on p. 14 by Jessica Leigh Lebos


Community | continued from previous page the organization. “It’s a vehicle to help us reach younger people and the creative community,” says Maria Center, director of ADA’s Southeast Georgia/Coastal South Carolina division. “Last year had such a great turnout, we’ve decided to do it every year.” The evening is a stylish way to help the ADA fund research and educational programs for Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes as well as provide advocacy, but Center reminds that diabetes is definitely not glamorous. Almost ten percent of Georgia’s population suffers from the disease, and if trends in diet and inactivity remain the same, one in three Americans will be diabetic by 2050. Georgians spent $7.63 million on diabetes-related medical expenses in 2012; it cost Americans $245 billion the same year. L: Stylist Kevin Cartee with St. Vincent’s principal Mary Anne Hogan. R: Principal Hogan looking lovely with her charges. “This is an epidemic, and we’re in a part Runway are raising the consciousness art competition. Also in the works is a part- American Diabetes Association presents Rock the of the country where we see an extreme nership with Dutch designer and diabetes about it more than ever, and larger cities amount of cases,” says Center, adding that Runway patient Monica Vesci, who recently launched When: Saturday, March 29, 5:30 pre-party, 7:30 like Atlanta and Charlotte have expressed ADA’s public awareness campaigns help Camino Clutch, a line of purses with speinterest in the fashion fundraising effort as conquer the shocking amounts of undiagfashion show cial pockets to hold lancets and insulin test a way to bring the ADA’s mission to bigger nosed diabetes. Where: Savannah Station, 601 Cohen St. strips. audiences. “You can walk around for ten years with Cost: $45/$25 students w/ID “This is going to the next level, no doubt Cartee and Center are already planning this disease and not realize it until you’re Info: (912) 224-8352 or about it,” says Center. cs next year’s show and hope to take it interexperiencing complications.” Check Cashing ad - Colony Bank widewith x 4.more ” talldesigners - full color national and a global Fortunately, Kiss-A-Pig and Rock the - 5.062”

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Chatham Police Dept. incident reports

spokesman says. Barry Trevon Williams, 24, of the 1900 block of Skidaway Road, was pronounced dead at the scene. Dominique Ellison, 25, of a Mississippi Avenue address was transported to Memorial University Medical center, where he was listed in critical but stable condition.

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Enforcement Administration (DEA), conducted two search • A Texas woman attendThey came, they saw, they peed warrants in Effingham ing school in Savannah Five arrests on Monday, the final day of and Bryan Counties. received serious but nonthe four-day 2014 St. Patrick’s Day Festival, The search warlife threatening injuries the “pushed the number made by Savannahrants resulted in morning of March 18 after Chatham Metropolitan Police to 64,” a the seizure of more being struck by a Chatham police spokesman says. than one kilogram of Area Transit bus. Forty-six were made by officers working • Detectives for the Savannah-Chatham cocaine with an esti Elizabeth Pryor, 22, of out of the City Market command center Metropolitan Police Department are mated street value of ia Antonio Garc Dripping Springs, TX, was “which covers the majority of the festival investigating a St. Patrick’s Day afternoon up to $42,000. crossing West Oglethorpe area,” police says, and 18 from the command shooting. The operation is Avenue at MLK Junior Boucenter on River Street. Just after 4:30 p.m., “Metro responded the result of a six levard against the pedestrian crosswalk On Friday, March 14, there were only to reports of shots fired near East Henry month CNT undercover investigation signal when she walked into the path of four arrests. Saturday saw 27 arrests, and Lane and Price Street. Officers observed a involving drug sales throughout Chatham, Sunday brought 26 collars. man on the ground suffering from a gunshot the bus. She was transported to Memorial Bryan and Effingham counties. University Medical Center. In total, the most common charge was wound,” a police spokesman says. CNT arrested 35-year-old Antonio The bus was turning left onto OglethoDisorderly Conduct, with 18 arrests. FolThe man was transported to Memorial Garcia, 30-year-old Justino Santana-Manrpe from MLK with a green arrow at 7:22 tano, and 27-year-old Humberto Santanalowing that was that old favorite, Public Medical Center. He is listed in serious but a.m. stable condition. Mantano, all illegally in the United States. Urination, at 10 arrests. Both Garcia and Humberto Santana“A male called police soon after the shooting to report he had shot the victim during • Three people are in custody following Mantano have been charged with Traffick• Detectives for the Savannah-Chatham the seizure of more than one kilogram of ing Cocaine and Justino Santana-Mantano Metropolitan Police Department are inves- an altercation,” police says. “He was interviewed by detectives and released.” cocaine. has been charged with Party to the Crime tigating an east Savannah shooting on St. Late on the evening of March 20, the Anyone with information is asked to call of Trafficking Cocaine. cs Patrick’s Day that left one person dead and Chatham-Savannah Counter NarcotCrimestoppers at (912) 234-2020 or text another injured. CRIMES (274637) using the keyword ics Team (CNT) in a partnership with At 7:24 p.m. March 17, officers “found CSTOP2020. Tipsters remain anonymous the Effingham County Sheriff ’s Office, two gunshot victims on the ground at Give anonymous crime tips to Bryan County Sheriff ’s Office and Drug and may qualify for a cash reward. A Tip the 2000 block of Mississippi Avenue,” a Crimestoppers at 234-2020 All cases from recent Savannah/


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Years ago I sent you a question about the possibility of global warming uncovering nasty things under the ice caps. Are we at risk of reawakening some kind of killer virus or bacteria that’s just been waiting for an opportunity like this to feast? —Cecile Johnston, Vermont Sorry to be late getting back to you, Cecile, but you should be grateful. Here’s why: 1. There are indisputably killer germs trapped in the tundra. All we don’t know is who, or what, is doomed. 2. There’s nothing you can do about it anyway. Your original question came in 13 years ago (we looked it up). So, thanks to my procrastination, you’ve enjoyed 13 years of ignorance-fueled bliss. 3. But now you’ve gone and asked again, and guess what: your carefree days are over. French scientists recently reported finding a giant viable virus in 30,000-year-old Siberian permafrost—viable being understood to mean infectious. The bug only kills amoebas, which those taking the narrow view of things may figure means they’re off the hook. But the more imaginative can reflect: First the viruses came for the amoebas. Then they came for me. 4. You know what, though? I’m not going to worry about it. It’s not that I discount the possibility of bad things coming out of the permafrost. It’s just that we’re likely to have bad things coming at us from all over. Why sweat a few thawed germs?

About those germs. The microbe threat you hear most about nowadays is viruses. These strange pathogens are basically just pieces of genetic code in a container, with no metabolism until they’re attached to a host. Strictly speaking they’re not alive—which means, and I admit this sounds ominous, they can’t be killed. Viruses’ innate hardiness allows them to remain intact in extreme conditions. All viruses contain either RNA or DNA; it’s estimated mutations can occur in up to 50 percent of the genetic code before the virus’s viability is threatened. Cold doesn’t faze them—polio, influenza, and many other types of virus are known to survive freezing. True, because viruses work by insinuating themselves into their host’s genetic code, they tend to be confined to certain species. But that’s no sure thing. Viruses frequently jump across species lines; one virus typically found in sea lions, for example, can also infect pigs, fish, rabbits, cattle, and humans. Viruses aren’t indestructible, of course. Oxidation, freeze-thaw cycles, and natural chemical reactions can all break down the DNA and RNA in ancient microbes. Theoretical considerations suggest no genetic material can survive intact beyond 2 or 3 million years. But that leaves lots of time during which countless viruses could have evolved and been trapped in ice. The researchers who discovered the 30,000-year-old bug above claim it’s the oldest known virus that’s still infectious. The RNA of a common tomato-plant virus was recovered from Greenlandic glacial ice formed between 500 and 140,000 years ago—viability unknown. But just wait. The scenario that has some scientists worried is called “genome recycling.” It goes like this: (1) virus-bearing ice in polar regions thaws and the meltwater enters local lakes; (2) migratory waterfowl who summer at said lakes drink the water; (3) the ingested viruses recombine in the birds’ guts with similar modern viruses, producing nightmarish new strains; (4) the birds poop out the invigorated germs on their return to

temperate regions; (5) oh, shit. Here’s the thing, though. Scary as the above may sound, the danger of the next global pandemic originating in polar meltwater so far is entirely speculative. I don’t claim it’ll never happen. On the contrary, circumstantial evidence suggests we’ve already had a few small-scale viral infections due to germs liberated by thawing. But the major epidemics of our times have mostly originated in hot regions. HIV is thought to have emerged from nonhuman primates in central Africa. Ebola virus was first seen in what was then Zaire (now Democratic Republic of Congo). West Nile virus came from (duh) the West Nile region of Uganda. New influenza strains commonly come out of the cities of East and Southeast Asia. Dengue fever and malaria, two scourges of long standing, are largely confined to the tropics. There are lots of reasons for this, but one of the more obvious is that cold is a barrier. While viruses themselves can survive freezing temperatures, the insects and other critters that carry viruses generally don’t. In fact, one of the less-publicized dangers of global warming is that mosquito-borne diseases such as dengue fever, malaria, and West Nile virus will be spread into higher elevations and latitudes, as rising temperatures make it possible for mosquitoes to reach areas they once found too chilly. OK, we’ve all seen one version or another of The Thing (or, as in your columnist’s case, read the originating John W. Campbell novella, Who Goes There?), about frozen horrors in the Antarctic ice that revive when thawed. So it’s not surprising a lot of people are gazing apprehensively at developments in polar regions. All I’m saying is: watch your back. CS By cecil adams Send questions to Cecil via or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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news & Opinion | News of the weird which emits electronic vibrations to raise the proboscis’s profile; (3) an altogether different but similarly painful-appearing Nose Straightener (insert for 20 minutes a day for added “perkiness”).

constituted a 7-foot-high wall of money, requiring villagers to pull 24-hour shifts to guard it. • With property values sky-high in posh London boroughs like Chelsea and Kensington, some super-wealthy residents desirScience Fair ing to expand - and who might ordinarily • Technological Know-How at Work: be forced to build up higher - are building Hard-core pornography down, constructing elabofans are split (according to rate, multistory basements a January report on Salon. instead. CNN reported in com) on whether they want January that additions are male actors to use condoms, underway (one covering but California’s Falcon Stufive floors below ground) pollen want a dios has the technology to for subterranean home cracker? serve both audiences. Falcon’s theaters, gyms, golf simuactors wear them, but in some lators, bowling alleys and movies those condoms might even swimming pools. • Costs of Spain’s Ecobe digitally “removed” during nomic Collapse: (1) Lonpost-production. The major don’s Daily Mail reported The Entrepreneurial Spirit downside, said one renowned in March that Spain might •Branko Bogdanov, 58, his wife, Lela, director, is the prohibitive have as many as 2,900 52, and daughter Julia, 34, were arrested in cost - about $100,000 to rerecently abandoned “vilMarch and charged in a 10-year shoplifting digitize the estimated 90,000 lages” (swaths of land enterprise run out of their upscale Northframes in a typical “low-budwith clusters of houses) brook, Ill., home, which they allegedly used get” porno film. The Falcon deserted by owners forced president said he is trying an as a base while prowling stores in states as into cities to find work alternative - using clever lightfar away as Florida, stealing high-end toys and jewelry, which they resold on eBay and ing during filming to de-emphasize the con- during the current recession - and that speculators were buying entire villages at singleto their fences. Police estimate the Bogdan- dom’s presence. house prices and turning them into vacation • Security and law enforcement agenovs swiped as much as $7 million worth on retreats. (2) A formal association of sex cies are looking beyond traditional biotheir forays - many items being stashed in workers in Barcelona has introduced a fourLela’s customized flowing skirts with hidden metric identification techniques (such as hour “introduction to prostitution” class for the accurate but obtrusive fingerprint and pockets. women transitioning from other occupairis scans and unobtrusive yet questionably • A trauma victim arriving at a hospital tions due to layoffs. Course topics include accurate facial-recognition) and, based on emergency room but requiring specialized tax-return help (prostitution is not illegal in recent laboratory research, are now considintensive care would usually be transferred Spain) and marketing, as well as sex tricks. ering earwax and underarm odors. Work promptly to a qualified “trauma center,” • News of the Weird has reported by Philadelphia’s Monell Chemical Senses whose success rate with such patients is believed to be 25 percent better than that of Center shows that ear secretions may reveal recently on the staggeringly large amounts of ordinary hospitals. However, a recent study personal identity, ethnicity, health status and money to be made by financial trading firms that can execute buys and sells even a splitfrom Stanford University researchers found sexual orientation, among other information, and researchers at the Polytechnic Uni- second before another firm. The Wall Street that, among 636 hospitals observed, there Journal reported in January that the “race versity of Madrid (Spain) said their work was a greater reluctance to make the transto zero” (“zero” being trades executed at the demonstrates that recognizable patterns in fer - if the patient was fully insured. (That speed of light) now involves sophisticated body odor remain stable even through disis, the authors suggest, there is a tendency lasers beamed between trading hubs (inifor hospitals to hang onto insured patients, ease and diet change (although admitting tially, East Coast data centers, but eventually even though their outcomes might be worse, that even the best odor technology is far linking nearly all U.S. stock exchanges) so inferior to a dog’s nose). but not to similarly hang onto the uninthat a firm’s automatically enacted trades (by sured - who are more likely to be properly self-actuating computer programs) can be transferred.) Leading Economic Indicators further reduced from the current 0.004-sec• Latest Female Beauty Products: Cos• Farming continues to be a noble but ond “lag” time. metic surgery is expensive, but beauty-con- grueling existence for rural residents of scious Japanese girls and women (especially China, who work for the equivalent of only those obsessed with a more “Western” look) about $1,300 a year, but in one village ( Jian- People With Issues have low-priced workarounds to choose she, in southwest Sichuan province), farmA more ornate, dedicated subset of crossfrom - as uncovered in January by the fash- ers have established a co-operative capitalist dressers - the “living dolls” or “maskers” - was ion blogger Liz Katz: (1) the $63 Facemodel, and in January officials delivered captured for a British TV documentary in Slimmer Exercise Mouthpiece (insert it for residents their annual dividend in cold January (and likely to appear on U.S. telethree minutes a day, make vowel sounds cash - the equivalent of about $2.1 million vision soon). Secrets of the Living Dolls foland watch a “saggy” mouth turn taut); (2) to split among 438 households. Authorilows ordinary men (one, a forklift operator the Beauty Lift High Nose nostril clip, ties unloaded banknotes in stacks that by day; another, divorced and 70, whose The ecology-conscious city (having recently encouraged routine composting of dinner leftovers) is now considering environment-friendly public urinals such as the PPlanter created by engineer Brent Bucknum. Users urinate into a ceramic basin and flush the waste with run-off hand-washing water into a bed of bamboo plants. Bucknum claims minimal maintenance and an odor-free experience, but on the other hand, only a user’s midsection area is blocked from public view - a concession necessitated by San Francisco’s sour experience with lockable public toilets, which shielded sex acts and crime. (A less-elaborate structure -the open-air, similarly privacy-challenging “pPod” - is currently being readied for deployment in the city’s Dolores Park.)

daughter knows he’s a “doll” but otherwise maintains a “don’t ask, don’t tell” relationship) who come alive several nights a month when they don expensive ($800 to $1,800), tailored, head-to-toe silicone bodysuits that feature breasts and genitalia, to party as young, glamorously dressed women. Two of the men lamented the dolls’ lack of full acceptance into the transvestite or transgender communities - though much of that distrust may stem from dolls’ use of masks (perhaps similar to the backlash faced by clowns).

Least Competent Criminals

Christopher Fulton turned himself in in Midwest City, Okla., in March after seeing a surveillance photo of the robbery of an IBC Bank. He told police he indeed must be the robber, that he saw his body in the bank photo - although he insisted that his mind had no recollection of it. Police were about to arrest Fulton, anyway, because the robber’s holdup note was written on a blank check with the account holder’s name and address (Fulton’s mom’s) scratched out, except that police-lab technology easily read through the scratch-outs.

The New Normal

(1) A plaintiff in an auto-accident lawsuit, who is claiming an injury that has impaired her inclination for “social activities,” was ordered by a judge in Nova Scotia to prove her loss by showing a reduction in the time she spent on Facebook. Justice Glen McDougall ruled that Joanne Conrod must disclose her log-in and log-out information but need not reveal her complete Facebook profile. (2) Arizona-based Christian “exorcist” Bob Larson, who claims to have performed more than 20,000 demon-expulsions, recently branched out by allegedly (in front of CNN’s Anderson Cooper) cleansing a client in Norway - via the Internetenabled phone application Skype. (Given the fragility of computer operating systems, critics - including “mainstream” exorcists find it puzzling that a demon could not disable Larson’s.) Thanks This Week to Simone Mishulovin and Tony Pappas and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors. (Read more weird news at; send items to WeirdNews@, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.) CS


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

San Francisco’s No. 1 Problem



the music column

Convoys casting off: Whaleboat in 2014 by bill deyoung

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014


Let me scootch out just a little farther on this limb here and reiterate: Whaleboat is my favorite Savannah band. The trio’s music is a finely puréed combo of shoegaze and power pop, with melodies that soar, lyrics that aren’t stupid (a big plus, in my book) and the sort of stellar musicianship you don’t hear every weekend over at Dixie’s Booze-a-Rama. Hard to believe that almost a year has gone by since Brent Collins, Jeremiah Stuard and Donald Moats have played together, but there it is. After a lengthy hiatus, Whaleboat is casting off once again with a March 29 show at Dollhouse Productions. It’s a fitting location, because Dollhouse Studios, where the new Whaleboat EP Convoys was recorded by Peter Mavrogeorgis, is in the same building. “We needed to take a little breather for a while,” says Collins, the trio’s singing/songwriting guitarist. “Life happens, you know? We all have full-time jobs, and on top of that we have our personal lives as well. We were going full-force there for about a year. “But it’s hard, when you’re working full time, to put everything you have into a full time band as well. It was getting kind of overwhelming for myself. It had nothing to do with the band, or the music, or the guys at all. It was just me. I needed to put it all on hold for a little bit to regain my creativeness, I guess you could say.” Collins didn’t write any new songs for months; Stuard and Moats, meanwhile, took more time for their other projects (including Habitat Noise, Sins of Godless Men and COEDS). “The guys were very supportive, and I really am thankful that I have them as friends, foremost, and for bandmates as well,” Collins explains. Three of the four songs on Convoys are new; only one, “See You There,” had been performed before. Mavrogeorgis (“he was actually the fourth member in the studio”) encouraged them to re-think the song and commit it to (digital) tape. “It’s got a little bit of swing now in the bassline,” raves Collins. “It’s got a different feel to it.”

The crew of the good ship Whaleboat: Jeremiah Stuard, left, Brent Collins and Donald Moats. With songs like the magical “Night Swimming” and “Cold Love Wars” (issued as a single last month), Convoys displays a good chunk ‘o growth from the first Whaleboat EP, Navigator and the odd single they’ve put out. While it’s still dreamy and reverbdrenched, it sounds less like Radiohead, the Cure and My Bloody Valentine, and more like Collins, Stuard and Moats. The ocean is laid out in front of Whaleboat, but Collins isn’t counting on smooth sailing. “When you’re a DIY band, it’s really tough to make money, and to be able to make a living from it, for one,” he explains. “We all have our different schedules. But we’re going to push forward. “It was tough in the beginning, and I didn’t expect Whaleboat to take off like it did. “I’m really happy that people love the music, and I’m really grateful for the fact that people still want to listen to the music. That really means a lot to me.” Also playing on the March 29 Dollhouse bill: Omingnome, CO. and Tonto.

Prom night!

Speaking of Sins of Godless Men (we were, weren’t we?) that band’s guitarist, Greg Rettig, is also the bass player for Wave Slaves, the all-instrumental band that specializes in guitar-based surf music. Wave Slaves has a date at the Jinx March 28, with the Lovely Locks and the Atlanta ska band Hermits of Suburbia. Nicole Edge, tattooed goddess and Wave Slaves drummer, tells me about the evening’s theme: Rock ‘n’ Roll Prom. “We’re calling it an adult prom,” she says. “We’re going to decorate the Jinx with balloons and streamers, there’s a photo booth, a contest for Prom King and Queen—if you win, you get gift certificates and a bar tab and stuff. What’s really funny is, I’ve never been to a prom so I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like.” Attendees get $2 off the $5 cover if they arrive in cheesy prom attire. “We’re kind of egging people on to come dressed up,” Edge explains. “All the people will lend to the atmosphere more than us tying tissue paper to things.” Edge is a Detroit native who’s been in Savannah for a dozen years; she’s a

professional belly dancer and a craft soap maker as well as a musician. She was raised in apartments, so her parents gave her piano lessons and a clarinet to play. Not too much noise, now! “I grew up playing classical piano,” she says. “Most of my life, I was involved in music somehow, and when I moved to Savannah, I really wasn’t.” For her 28th birthday, she bought herself a drum kit. “It was a way to get back into it and try something that I always wanted to do but never could.” Her first band, Free Candy, channeled the Cramps and other psychobilly punk bands. The Wave Slaves—which also includes guitarists Shane Litts and Josh Lindsay—is an (almost) entirely different animal. “Free Candy did some surf-influenced stuff, and that was mostly my influence on the band,” Edge says. “Because I always loved that music. Ever since I was a kid I was always listening to classical instrumental. I never was really into pop music or anything—I just always had a thing for purely instrumental music. I love the rhythms; I love the sound of it.” Showtime: 10 p.m. Corsages optional! CS





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Music | Savannah music festival

SMF: Bela Fleck and Abigail Washburn By Bill DeYoung

From Louis and Keely to John and Yoko to Derek and Susan, married couples have worked together to give us some of the most interesting and powerful music of the past century. Enter Bela Fleck and Abigail Washburn, banjo innovators both, who wed in 2009 and are the proud parents of baby boy Juno, 10 months old. Fleck, whose musical skills and restless nature have taken him deep into the jazz, classical and blues realms, started as an fiery, innovative player in the progressive bluegrass band New Grass Revival in the early ‘80s. By the end of the decade, he and bassist Victor Wooten had kickstarted Bela Fleck & the Flecktones, and the banjo would never again be seen as something barefoot hillbilly boys plucked aimlessly on Appalachian front porches. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But Fleck, in the intervening years, has almost singe-handedly charted spectacular new territories for the instrument. Washburn was relatively new to the banjo when Fleck signed on to produce an album for her in 2005; she is a stunning vocalist and an ardent student of Chinese music and culture, all of which imbue her music with an otherworldly richness. She and Fleck subsequently recorded and toured, with Casey Dreissen and Ben Solee, as the Sparrow Quartet. Both have played the Savannah Music Festival separately (in fact, the Sparrow Quartet stopped in once), but their March 30 lunchtime concert will mark the first time Mr. and Mrs. have done the Savannah deal as a twosome. CS: You’re parents now. How’s that work-

ing out?

AW: It’s amazing. We get to have a beautiful

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

little creature that we get to take care of. It’s incredible. BF: Abby is the Mother of the Year, as far as I can tell. And we’ve been taking him on the road, on these tours, and that’s quite a challenge. But he’s been great. And if we have an early show, he’ll watch the whole show and even take part in it. The other night, Abby brought him out and she sang the encore holding him, and he 20 pulled the cable out of the microphone and

“Bela can go anywhere, he can do anything,” Abigail Washburn says. “He’s a fearless explorer.” started sucking on it! The audience went wild.

AW: On one level, it’s a part of our routine.

But on another level, the things that come out of him musically night after night are CS: Is this the first time you’ve toured always astonishing. That wouldn’t happen in together, as just the two of you? any other situation, and I see it and I recognize it. And it’s always inspiring. BF: We’ve been working into it. At first I BF: I think that everybody has different think we did a benefit for Abby’s grandma, things that they bring to it. I play with a lot at her church, and it went way better than of different musicians, and some of them we’d expected. We just threw a few things have abilities that I don’t have. And when I together and ended up being really happy play with them I have to deal with that kind with it. But we knew from then on that we of a thing. would play as a duo, so it would pop up here For instance, if I go out and play with and there. It’s been on our radar as someChick Corea, as a duet, he’s got abilities that thing we wanted to do some day together. I don’t have. But we meet in the areas where We’re now actually recording a record that’ll we can meet. And he does his thing, and I be out in the Fall. do my thing, and we have a great time. AW: This is the first time we’ve taken it seriAnd I think it’s that way with Abby. She ously … well, we’ve loved to play music has abilities that I don’t have. Even playtogether from the beginning, so that’s an ing abilities—I’ve never been much of a obvious connection. clawhammer player, and she can lay down a groove that I can do almost anything over. CS: Abby, the last time we spoke, you were And also, her vocals are just so compelling. telling me that you’d picked up banjo a lot So I get to be part of music that reaches out later, and that you were a little intimidated to people, and connects with people in a at first playing with the old master. Have whole different way than the instrumental you gotten over that— ‘oh, it’s just Bela’? music that I tend to get involved with. So for

me, it’s just a wonderful experience. It’s not like we’re unequal—it’s more like we’re finding different ways to interface. CS: Does the other person’s creativity

change you, depending on the person?

BF: Exactly. That’s the compelling thing

for me about playing with a lot of people, because I get to be different. I’m not the same old me. When I play with Abby, I play different. And I play different with her than I play with, for instance, Sam Bush and Jerry Douglas. Or Tony Rice. There are elements to our duo that is traditional, our Abby and Bela duo, I get to play in a more traditional fashion than I do playing with Chick Corea, or the Flecktones and so forth. But with Abby, it’s even a different subset because she has this old-time element. And also the beautiful aspects. As an improvising artist, which is a big part of what I try to be, I’m improvising a lot with Abby but I’m responding every day to what it feels like will work well. But yeah, I definitely spark to whatever’s going on around me.

BELA AND ABBY | continued from previous page CS: Abby, are you still bringing the Asian

influences into your music?

AW: Yeah, in fact Bela and I decided to


calls it the Ancient Tones. And I’ve heard Abby get those sounds. And I love it when I hear it. CS


Bela Fleck & Abigail Washburn Where: Lucas Theatre When: At 3 p.m. Sunday, March 30 Tickets: $22-$60

Bleed: n/a Color:

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CS: Tell me about the record you’re

different instruments that we grab and use in different combinations. So doing that, when we do a traditional song, it’s a different traditional song than you’ve heard before. There’s a lot of rippling going on The nice thing for me is that, on top of that rippling I’m hearing some beautiful singing. And I don’t to hear that normally. Abby can access a really old sound with her voice, and an old feeling. Ricky Skaggs

TRIM: 7.095”x8.35”

Date Produced: 03/14/14

seek out a new traditional Chinese song, from southeast China, to try and go in a new direction with some of the Chinese repertoire. And it’s exciting; Bela can go anywhere, he can do anything. He’s a fearless explorer. Which is so exciting for me, because I’m game for the journey, but I might not even seek out certain directions that he sees. BF: We were listening to a lot of difference Chinese stuff and I was like “Abby, we should do one of these even more obscure, totally Chinese things.” The two that we did with the Sparrow Quartet are almost like pop, not pop but like folk songs—they’re very, very well-known simple songs. And this shows her voice off in a completely different way that any of the Chinese-type stuff I’ve heard her sing before. I like that because it’s showing a new corner of what she’s able to do. AW: Which is a big part of what Bela brings to me musically, new challenges, new ideas. Sometimes it’s scary and frustrating, and sometimes it’s pretty exhilarating. So I grow a lot when I play with Bela.

petered out of because I was so interested in moving forward I moved out of that world. Not because I didn’t love it, but just because there were new challenges. And so now, I’m coming back to it in a very earthy, natural way—playing with the two banjos. We both love the banjo, and onstage we have seven banjos onstage that we switch around—baritone banjo, piccolo banjo, cello banjos—a lot of different tunes and a lot of

BF: For one thing, the studio is in our base-

CS: Bela, is this like going back for you, to Client:

Newgrass Revival days, isn’t it? There’s a lot of Americana in this now. Is there an element of “I used to play this stuff a lot”?

BF: Yeah, it’s the stuff that made me want to

play in the first place. And that I love, but I

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Publication: connect SavannaH 3/26, 4/2, 4/9


ment. Wherever we put the mics, that’s the studio. So we have the luxury of going ahead and recording the stuff that we’ve been playing our duo that’s not already recorded. It turns out there was quite a bit there that we had been doing … AW: Old murder ballads, old Carter Family songs and things like that. BF: So that accounted for six or seven tunes. Once we got into old tunes of Abby’s that she’d never recorded that we had nice duet versions of. So hey, let’s put that on the table. So basically what we’re doing is recording a pile of stuff. We’ll probably record 16 or 17 songs, and then see what the record is. In there. And this week we’re going to complete three new tunes we’ve been working on. There’s an instrumental that we’ve written together, and a really cool song that Abby wrote.


Music | Savannah music festival

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“Let little Ricky sing one!” Inside the high school gym in tiny Martha, Kentucky, a cry came from the audience. It was a late summer’s evening in 1960, and Bill Monroe was onstage with his Bluegrass Boys. As more and more people called out for “little Ricky,” Monroe finally acquiesced and invited 6-year-old Ricky Skaggs to join them on the bandstand. With the master’s enormous F-5 Lear Gibson mandolin strapped on, the pintsized picker called for “Ruby, Are You Mad at Your Man,” and the Bluegrass Boys kicked it off. Monroe stood off to the side, amused, as the kid who would be his eventual heir apparent nervously tore through a solo. And that’s how the Ricky Skaggs story began. Raised in a hardworking Christian household in Cordell, just down the road from Martha, in mountainous Eastern Kentucky, Skaggs was bewitched by bluegrass from his earliest days. At 7, he guested on a local TV show with Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs. At 15, he and best buddy Keith Whitley (himself a future country music star) joined Ralph Stanley & the Clinch Mountain Boys. Skaggs’ high tenor, and prowess on the mandolin (and fiddle, and guitar) integrated effortlessly with the mountain music’s other crucial elements. He went on to break musical ground as part of J.D. Crowe & the New South and Boone Creek, before joining Emmylou Harris’ Hot Band (replacing Rodney Crowell, and injecting a most-welcome shot of acoustic traditionalism into Emmy’s sound). Skaggs’ subsequent career as a country music hitmaker included 12 Number One hits, all in some way neo-traditionalist throwbacks to the bluegrass and old-time country he so loved. Along the way, he collaborated with scores of other brilliant musicians, over a wide swath of genres. Most important, to him, cultivated a close friendship with Monroe himself, and considered him a mentor. By the mid 1990s, in the wake of the Garth Brooks tsunami, Skaggs’ mainstream country career was running on empty. When Monroe died in 1996, at age 84, Skaggs officially re-dedicated himself to full-time bluegrass pickin.’

Ricky Skaggs was 15 when bluesgrass legend Ralph Stanley hired him to play with the Clinch Mountain Boys. Calling his band Kentucky Thunder, Skaggs embarked on another phase of his remarkable career. All 12 of the band’s albums have been Grammy-nominated (eight of them won), and he occasionally spins off for outside projects with artists like Bruce Hornsby (their second album as a duo, Cluck Ol’ Hen, was released in 2013). The 14-time Grammy winner is, without question, the keeper of the flame for bluegrass and traditional Appalachian sounds. The late Chet Atkins praised Skaggs for “single-handedly” saving country music. CS: You don’t have to work as much as you

do now. Why do you do it?

Ricky Skaggs: I got an office, I got a busi-

ness. I’ve got employees, people that are

depending on me … I mean, I’m a small business owner. I’ve got to work. I couldn’t keep this big ol’ house I got here on top of the hill, where I can see Nashville from 15 miles away. I love our house here in Hendersonville. But I have to work in order to keep it. I’ve got my record label, Skaggs Family, and my studio and everything. And I’m glad I have to work. I really am glad. I was raised to work, my mom and dad instilled that in me, the Bible speaks it, teaches it. If you don’t work, you don’t eat. I can’t believe that people can’t find something to work at. There is honor in flipping hamburgers, buddy, let me tell you. There is honor in sweeping, there’s honor in cleaning something, there’s honor in working by the sweat of your brow. Our world is turned so upside down.

SKAGGS | continued from previous page whether he knew it or not. He was teaching by example. He was teaching by his continuing playing and stuff like that, but I want to be involved in their lives now. I want to have an interchange with them. Because when you exchange with young kids, you get something back from them, too. You get honor, you get respect, you get love, you get CS: Do you have a sense of yourself in your all the things that we all want in our lives. 80s, as the Grand Old Man of bluegrass, But yet they’re getting knowledge and wisteaching the young people? dom, and technique. How to set up a mandolin. What kind of strings do you use? This RS: See, here’s what my heart wants to do. is a good pick, why don’t you think about I want to pour into them when I can see going up a little thicker on this pick, it’ll give fruit come from it. I know Ralph (Stanley) you a little deeper tones with your mandolin can look at me and say “Hey, that’s my fruit … practical things that can really help ‘em in right there. I gave him his first job when he life, you know? was 15.” Someone sent me a DVD of an old I’m hoping I’m around in my 80s, still film. Ralph did a K-Mart opening in Clint- playing, but I really want to have that relawood, Virginia in ’71 or ’72. And there’s me tionship with these young kids now. and Keith, long, lanky kids, and we’re up on this flatbed truck. I think we had one mic, CS: In your autobiography, you call the and it sounded great. And here we have 12 music “pure, uncorrupted and timeless.” mics onstage now, and sometimes can’t get a I loved that phrase. Do you still feel that good sound! So what’s wrong with this pic- thrill every time you play? ture? [laughs] I don’t want to wait till I’m 80 years old to RS: There’s a joy that I feel when I’m playtry to pour into people. I think Mon missed ing. A big part of it is just because we’re a great opportunity—I think we all kind musicians and we love playing. But there’s a of learned from him, so he was teaching joy knowing that I was given a gift, and it’s

a humbling thing that the Lord has been so good to me, so kind to me to allow me to have what I have. Yes, I’ve worked, but believe me I know where the blessings come from. It’s not because I am so good. It’s because He is so good. When I’m onstage, it don’t matter if my back’s been hurtin’ or if I have a headache, or if I’m not quite up to par to sing like I was last week or something like that, I’m just gonna enjoy it. I’m just gonna have fun. That’s the best part of the day for me, having that 90 minutes up there with my band. And having them up there just playin’ like gunslingers. I mean, they’re out there just wearin’ it out. And it makes me just come alongside and go “Man, these guys are blowin’ and goin,’ I better get on with it with this next solo.” I don’t want to drop one note in this thing, ‘cause I don’t want them eyes cockin’ at me like “Well … you can get it tomorrow night.” These guys are well-oiled; they’re a machine. So I love every night that I get to play. It’s just a gift to get to do this every night. CS: Any regrets, ever, about leaving the

quote-unquote country music career?

RS: No regrets. I miss the music; I miss play-

ing with the full band sometimes, the drums and piano, and playing my electric Tele. But you know, we can do that, we still go out and do some dates where the bluegrass band will come out, and we’ll play 45 minutes, take an intermission, and re-set the stage. We’ll have the drum set, a steel guitar player comes with us, a piano player comes with us, and my acoustic bass player straps on his big Fender bass and gets his pick out. And we go at it. We’ll do “Heartbroke” and “Honey Open That Door” and “Cajun Moon” and “Highway 40 Blues,” a bunch of country hits that we had. And the audience loves it. We do the Opry that-a-way sometimes. It’s just so much fun to do. It lets me go back and be grateful for that history that I had in country music, and things that I was able to do there. To bring traditional sounds to country music that weren’t there in the early ‘80s, when the revolution was going on with that real pop country sound. The Urban Cowboy thing. CS

Ricky Skaggs & Kentucky Thunder Where: Lucas Theatre When: At 7:30 p.m. Thursday, March 27 Sold out

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

If there was a health issue and I couldn’t do it, then that’s different. But as long as I am healthy and can keep going … I’ll be 60 in July, and I’ve got a lot of good years ahead of me. I’ve got a lot of singing to do, a lot of picking, a lot of teaching young kids. I’m all about that.

Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder. “That’s the best part of the day for me, having that 90 minutes up there with my band. And having them just playin’ like gunslingers.”


Music | Savannah music festival









SMF: Kristina

Train By Bill DeYoung




$2 WELLS • 10PM

FRI [happy hour set w/] WHISKEY DICK





Lovel yLoc ks



[Day & Evening Sets W/]


29 CITY HOTEL American hologram



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N NIG @ 11PM w/ SOLO

“Certainly after two years on the road with Herbie Hancock, I had a very clear vision of what I wanted to do musically,” says Kristina Train.

This past January 17, Kristina Train received an unexpected happy-birthday call. It was Bruce Springsteen, who’d sought her out because her 2013 album, Dark Black, was one of his current favorites. The two had never met, although Springsteen had been praising Train’s richly soulful voice in interviews— “very Dusty Springfield,” he’d said. They talked for a while about their shared love of classic rock and soul music. It was a particularly gratifying exchange, out of the blue like that, because Dark Black was a comeback record, of sorts, for the Savannah-reared vocalist. In 2009, Train and her debut album received critical huzzahs from here to eternity. Released by the legendary jazz and blues label, Blue Note, Spilt Milk nevertheless tanked. EMI, Blue Note’s parent company, was imploding. Entire A&R and promotion staffs were axed in a single day and as a result, the album all but disappeared. Train, however, did not cry over Spilt Milk.

“It was a great learning experience as my first album,” she says. “When everything collapsed over at EMI, it was a big blow. Everybody that I knew there was gone. The whole company changed. Everything stopped. “But as they say in the South, everything happens for a reason. You just have to double down and keep moving forward, no matter what.” The loss of her Blue Note contract was followed, in quick succession, by a couple of serious upsets in her private life. “I just really wanted to have the career,” explains Train. “This is the only thing that I know how to do, and I thought passionately that this is what I should be doing. So when all that happened it was scary, but it also made me realize that I had to figure out how to make it work.” The first ray of light came from jazz legend Herbie Hancock, who was looking for a vocalist to join his band as they toured behind the Grammy-winning River: The Joni Letters, a sonic exploration of songs by Joni Mitchell. “If I hadn’t made Spilt Milk, and it hadn’t

reached his ears, I wouldn’t have been able to tour two years around the world with him,” Train says, “and have the greatest musical education of my life.” Mitchell had been a major influence on young Kristina, growing up in Savannah. Hancock also utilized her violin talents, which she’d honed as a young member of the Savannah Civic Orchestra. “It was a great fit,” beams Train. “It was really incredible and mystifying for me to stand on that stage and sing with Herbie Hancock, but also sing one of my all-time favorite musician’s songs. It was a very surreal moment for me.” Mostly self-penned, Dark Black came out on Mercury Records. “If you aren’t in love with Train’s voice by the end ... there is something seriously wrong with your ears,” raved the Huffington Post. “The sound may be 21st century —she’s certainly not retro—but while her multilayered richness takes her beyond genre, her emotion and believability indicate soul at its deepest and most timeless,” said the BBC. Dark Black is infinitely more mature, and

TRAIN | continued from previous page far bluesier, than its jazz-tinged predecessor. “It’s an extremely personal album,” Train explains. “It was me reflecting on a very painful time in my life. But at the same time, thank God music has always been there for me. I’ve always listened to music and it’s been healing; I’ve always made music and it’s been healing. “That was my way of getting through that, I’m through it, it’s all good now. And my greatest hope is that anybody who can connect with something like that will find it healing as well.” She bristled at the reviews that went into detail about her personal travails. “Look, it’s life, you know?” she says. “You grow up. The first album was wonderful because I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into. It was my first time, the beautiful bliss of making an album. I hear that when I listen to those recordings—on the rare occasion that I do listen to them. “The second album was extremely different. I was a fully-grown woman. I had lived life, I had experienced love and loss, and personal tragedy. And certainly after two years on the road with Herbie Hancock, I had a very, very clear vision of what I wanted to do musically.” Train lives in London now, as

arts-friendly a city as she has ever known. There was another reason for the move, she explains. “You’re able to have everything that a big city has to offer, yet you can really hide away. It feels like a village. It was also somewhere for me to go where I had a completely fresh start. Nobody knew what was going on with me personally, I could be somebody else for a while. I could lose all the heaviness of the life lessons that had happened in the years previous to that. And have a clean slate.” And then there’s Savannah. Train wasn’t born here, but those all-important teen years unfolded right in the Hostess City. Her mom still teaches at the Habersham School. “Savannah is still in my veins; it’s part of who I am,” Train says. “I long for it when I’m away. I miss the water. The last time I was there, I fell in love with Savannah again, and I can’t wait to come back. I’m so proud and honored to be a woman of Savannah.” CS Kristina Train With Pokey LaFarge Where: Charles H. Morris Center When: At 5:30 and 8:30 p.m. Saturday, March 29 Tickets: $35

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Music | Savannah music festival




Schedule Taj Mahal

10 PM Late Night Jam with Christian MCcBride Trio & Friends CMC $30

Saturday, March 29

Wednesday, March 26

11 AM Daniel Hope & Friends: Dvorak’s Bass Quintet TUMC $25 12:30 PM Classic Jazz Piano: Mark Shane CMC $20 5 & 7:30 PM Ladies Sing the Blues Feat. Catherine Russell & Charenee Wade CMC $40 6 PM The Jerusalem Quartet TUMC $50

12:30 PM Gibson Brothers/Lonesome River Band SOS $25 3 PM Piano Showdown w/Christian Sands, Marcus Roberts, Aaron Diehl, Cyrus Chestnutt TT $55, 45, 35, 25 5:30 & 8:30 PM Pokey LaFarge/Kristina Train CMC $35 6 PM Benjamin Hochman, piano TUMC $45 7 PM Gibson Brothers/Lonesome River Band SOS $40 8 PM Taj Mahal Trio/John Simon LT $65, 55, 45, 35, 25

Sunday, March 30

3 PM Bela Fleck & Abigail Washburn LT $60, 52, 42, 32, 22 4 & 7 PM Pokey LaFarge/Kristina Train Thursday, March 27 CMC $35 11 AM–5 PM Swing Central Jazz Big Band 6 PM Daniel Hope & Friends: English Showcase Rousakis Plaza Free Masterpieces TUMC $45 12:30 PM Cecile McLorin Salvant CMC $20 Monday, March 31 4–6:30 PM Swing Central Jazz Combo 10:45 A Conversation With Bela Fleck & Showcase Reynolds SQ. Free Abigail Washburn CMC FREE 6 PM Daniel Hope & Friends with Michael 12:30 PM The Casey Driessen Singularity Schade, program 1 TUMC $45 CMC $20 6 & 9 PM Christian MCcBride Trio/Cecile 7 PM Daniel Hope, Julian Lage, Mike McLorin Salvant CMC $35 Block, Jose Franch-Ballester & Rodney Jor7:30 PM Ricky Skaggs & Kentucky Thun- dan CMC $40 der/Sierra Hull LT $65, 55, 45, 35, 25

Friday, March 28

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9 AM–3 PM Swing Central Jazz The Competition Free 12:30 PM Christian MCcBride Trio CMC $20 4–6:30 PM Swing Central Jazz Combo Showcase Reynolds Sq. Free 6 PM Daniel Hope & Friends with Michael Schade, program 2 TUMC $45 7 PM Kind of Blue: Miles, Trane & Cannonball/Swing Central Jazz Finale LT $62, 52, 42, 32, 22 8 PM Vince Gill & Paul Franklin JMT $75, 26 62, 52, 42, 35

Becca Stevens Band

Thursday, April 3

11 AM Dover Quartet with Michael Tree & Philip Dukes TUMC $25 12:30 PM LAU CMC $20 6 & 8:30 PM Kevin Crawford, LAU, John Doyle, Cillian Vallely & Duncan Wickel CMC $35 8 PM Robert Cray Band LT $65, 55, 45, 35, 25

Friday, April 4

12:30 PM Frank Vignola & Vinny Raniolo CMC $20 6 & 8:30 PM Guitar Heaven: Julian Lage & Chris Eldridge/Frank Vignola & Vinny Raniolo CMC $35 6 PM Avi Avital, mandolin feat. Dover Quartet TMI $45

12:30 PM Kevin Crawford, John Doyle, Cillian Vallely & Duncan Wickel CMC $20 5 PM Fatoumata Diawara/Bombino SOS $35 6 PM Destination America: Chamber Music Sociey of Lincoln Center LT $55 (gold), 45 8 PM Fatoumata Diawara/Bombino SOS $35

Wednesday, April 2

Saturday, April 5

Tuesday, April 1

12:30 PM Becca Stevens Band CMC $20 6 & 8:30 PM Noam Pikleny Band/ Becca Stevens Band CMC $35 6 PM Philip Dukes with Chamber Orchestra TUMC $45

12:30 PM Tim O’Brien & Darrell Scott SOS $20 3 PM An Afternoon with Branford Marsalis TT $55, 45, 35, 25 7 PM Stringband Spectacular LT $45, 35,

25, 15 8 & 10:30 PM Dance Party: Red Baraat CMC $30

CMC: Charles H. Morris Center 10 East Broad Street JMT: Johnny Mercer Theatre 301 W. Oglethorpe Ave. LT: Lucas Theatre 32 Abercorn Street SOS: Ships of the Sea Museum North Garden 41 MLK Jr. Blvd. TMI: Temple Mickve Israel 20 E. Gordon St. TUMC: Trinity United Methodist Church 127 Barnard Street TT: Trustees Theater 216 E. Broughton St. UUC: Unitarian Universalist Church 311 E. Harris St. Online information and ticketing: By Phone: (912) 525-5050 Mon–Fri: 10am–5pm In-Person: Savannah Box Office, 216 E. Broughton St., Mon–Fri: 10am–5pm cs

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Music | Savannah music festival reviews Avett Bros. @ Johnny Mercer Theatre

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Scott and Seth Avett and their band were five songs into their set before I realized there was a guy up the back playing pedal steel guitar. Chalk up another victim of the famously awful acoustics at the Johnny Mercer Theatre. So much of the March 20 show was buried in mud, you could say there were exactly two dynamics: Loud and quiet. Which is too bad, because a selling point of the Avetts’ music is the tightly-knitted vocal harmonies, along with the subtle shifts in rhythm and texture, and the muted but key support of Joe Kwon’s electric cello. Oh, the siblings’ Everly-like harmonies were on display in full; on Avett chestnuts like “The Weight of Lies” and “Morning Song,” Seth’s bell-clear high tenor and Scott’s lower range flew and turned like birds in telepathic flight. They opened with “Amazing Grace,” which was, admittedly, kind of cool. “Pretty Girl From Annapolis” was delicate, with a sweet interlude from Seth on Hank Cochran’s classic “Can I Sleep In Your Arms Tonight?” The Avett Brothers have come a long way since their acoustic-duo days in North Carolina; they’re a rock ‘n’ roll band now, with longtime musical partner Bob Crawford switching between his trusty standup acoustic and an electric Fender bass, and Mike Marsh on the drums. All well and good, but when they blazed through “Go To Sleep” and “Slight Figure of Speech,” they came off like a better-thanaverage power-pop band playing catchy, uptempo songs. On acoustic guitar and banjo, not the most powerful of instruments. It didn’t help that the Avetts, Crawford and Kwon — the frontline — tend to leap into the air, in unison, on the fast numbers. The strongest showcases for what these guys are all about came during each brother’s “solo” moment: Scott Avett’s heartwrenching and funny “Murdered in the City,” and an untitled song, sung by Seth, the brothers only recently wrote and have yet to record. “Vanity” was beautifully rendered. Also effective despite the Mercer mud were the moments that the brothers and Crawford, playing his acoustic bass, performed as a trio. It was clear that was the way they started, and they were at ease and in their element. The audience — requisite vocal drunks included — sang loudly along with “Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise,” “Backwards With Time” and the band’s honkytonking cover of Lefty Frizzell’s “If You’ve Got the Money, I’ve Got the Time,” and 28 went into spasms when Scott came down

Daniel Hope/Vivaldi @ Lucas Theatre

Continuing the Savannah Music Festival’s extraordinarily innovative classical music curation, Festival Associate Artistic Director Daniel Hope once again brought an exciting and thoughtful new work to town. This year features an edition of Vivaldi’s classic “The Four Seasons” as “recomposed” by Max Richter, and performed by Hope as violin soloist with members of the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, at the Lucas Theatre. Great, a Vivaldi remix, you’re thinking. Just what the world doesn’t need. But don’t cringe — it was an idea which worked a lot better than you might think. In an extended, informative and funny pre-show talk with the man Hope calls “the voice of classical music in America,” Fred Child of Performance Today, Hope explained what Richter was thinking in daring to repurpose one of classical music’s most well-known works: “Max told me he’d like to recompose Flamenco dancer Paloma Fantova with Tomatito (photo Ayano Hisa) ‘The Four Seasons.’ My instant response from the stage and sang “Pretty Girl From in Flamenco style, seem to wring up every was what’s wrong with the original?” Hope Michigan” while walking on chairs and givimaginable human emotion. recalled to much audience laughter. ing high-fives. If de Lucia’s playing was known for its “Max laughed and said, ‘Nothing’s wrong It was during this song that I noticed the lightning speed, silky smoothness, and with it, I love the original, it’s magnificent pedal steel player—his name is Paul Delfigia angelically lyric phrasing, Tomatito’s styling music. If I were just listening to it in concert —had switched to organ. I didn’t hear that is more rock ‘n’ roll — a greater emphasis on halls or on the radio, that would be fine. in the mix, either. – Bill DeYoung rhythm and more clearly defined notes, with But I don’t. I hear it in every elevator, every phrasing that’s less adventurous but still time I’m on hold, in shopping centers and strongly compelling in its own right. Tomatito @ Lucas Theatre garages. I can’t get away from it. It’s become Amid the frequent “oles” to each other on a kind of musical wallpaper.’” The Savannah Music Festival scored a stage, Tomatito only spoke to the audience major coup when it brought the legendary Following on his experience as a godfather of Flamenco guitar, Paco de Lucia, three times, briefly, and only in Spanish. soundtrack composer for such films as One was thanking Savannah for the warm to the Johnny Mercer Theatre in 2012. Scorsese’s Shutter Island, Richter’s version welcome, and another was a tribute to Paco of “Four Seasons” indeed has a certain cineThe great de Lucia passed away just last de Lucia while introducing one of de Lucia’s matic panache. Eschewing the typical heavy month, but one of his protégés and colpieces, performed with emotion and aplomb. Baroque emphasis on the one and three laborators, Jose Fernandez Torres — aka Judging by the many enthusiastic shouted beats, Richter plays with the piece’s familiar Tomatito — did a masterful job keeping his encouragements from the audience and their assertive rhythm. Using a variety of signamentor’s spirit alive. Like the de Lucia show, this performance obvious understanding of Tomatito’s stage tures and syncopations, the “new” Vivaldi is patter en espanol, there was quite a large echoed the usual no-intermission Flamuch more rhythmically dynamic. menco/Gypsy style stage presentation: sev- number of Spanish speakers in attendance The feel of the instrumentation was eral black-clad players seated in a semi-circle — surely a welcome first for me in years of non-standard as well, featuring more of the observing Music Fest shows and audiences. full, swelling style more typical of movie around the virtuoso main guitarist, includFlamenco dancing is typically a mostly ing a pair of singers, a percussionist on the soundtracks and modern classical composmale pursuit, but Tomatito’s concerts feature ers. It didn’t work all the time, but when it cajon, a couple of rhythm guitarists, and of the fiery, dramatic, and aggressive dancing of worked it worked very well. Vivaldi himcourse a dancer. young Paloma Fantova. self might approve, of the sheer chutzpah if Almost always beginning with an While only dancing twice all night — the nothing else. — Jim Morekis extended solo lead-in from Tomatito — age 55 but looking much younger, a full head of first appearance being teasingly short — long curly black locks — each sinuous, sexy Fantova closed the show and brought the Jason Isbell @ Ships of the Sea house down with a 15-minute tour-de-force song built on the previous one, amping up It’s been just over four years since Jason the intensity level to a transcendental climax. of hard-soft, fast-slow percussive dynamics: Isbell last performed in Savannah. The twirling, stomping, tapping, and snapping, in Alabama singer/songwriter, who’d been The intricate, mutable, overlapping a mostly improvised performance. time signatures of Flamenco — 6/8, 3/4, unceremoniously kicked out of the DriveWhile dancing Fantova wears a serious, 12/8, 4/4 and more, often switching on a By Truckers (more on that later), was at almost grim visage, fitting the drama of the moment’s notice, as with jazz — added to that time in the early stages of a solo career. music. But as she basks in the audience’s the hypnotic effect, a vibe emphasized by He’d formed a new band, the 400 Unit, and applause, her face lights up in a grin more the passionate vocal stylings of dual singthey played at the now-defunct Broughton befitting her young age. – Jim Morekis ers Kiki Cortiñas and Simón Román, who, Street restaurant Loco’s.

smf reviews | continued from previous page yet). He got sober last year, after an intervention from his bud Ryan Adams (the driving force in Whiskeytown, ironically) and family members including Isbell’s wife, singer/songwriter Amanda Shires. Isbell is now personable and funny onstage. When someone in Sunday’s audience called out “Where’s Amanda?,” he replied that she wasn’t in Savannah with him. “She comes when she can,” Isbell said, “but she’s not required by law.” He then proceeded to explain that Amanda was at their home in Nashville, watching The Tudors on Netflix. “I keep trying to explain to her that that guy looks nothing like Henry VIII,” he laughed. With Isbell out front, the 400 Unit is a strong five-piece band that’s eerily reminiscent of the young, hungry Tom Petty & The Avett Brothers at the Johnny Mercer Theatre (photo Frank Stewart) the Heartbreakers — tough and muscular, but dynamic and malleable as each song requires. sublime, but when they are, just try to get Southeastern tunes including the brilliant As I listened to them pour passion into ‘em out of your head. He writes about rocky “Elephant” (it’s about watching someone you love die of cancer) and “Different Days” great Isbell songs like “Stockholm,” “Tour roads and hard decisions. of Duty,” “Live Oak” and “Alabama Pines,” I (about being an alcoholic and a jerk). So what about the concert, you ask? “Different Days” is one of the Southeastern kept thinking: All this guy needs is a hit. Well, the North Garden, it turns out, is a Then we’ll all be saying “Man, I remember songs that address — in a creative-writing fine venue for listening to a virtuoso rock seeing him at Loco’s back in the day.” — Bill sort of way — Isbell’s alcoholism (it’s why ‘n’ roll band. There were the obvious chestthe Truckers booted him, and in all honesty DeYoung nuts from his Truckers days (“Decoration why his solo career hasn’t quite caught fire Day,” “Outfit”) and a strong selection of

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

What a difference four years can make. Isbell returned March 23 to play a prestigious Savannah Music Festival gig, at the Ships of the Sea Museum’s North Garden, the 400 Unit in tow. He’s riding high on Southeastern, his fourth solo release and a collection named by Rolling Stone as one of the best country albums of 2013. Well, it’s southern but it’s not exactly country. Isbell’s measured nasal twang and trebly guitar bring the late, great Whiskeytown to mind, or the Jayhawks, creative maelstroms with a nice sense of the unpredictable. Or the Truckers, when they’re on. He also happens to be a dynamic electric guitarist, heavy on the slide and reverb, son. It’s lyrical rock ‘n’ roll music with a rural edge to it. Where Isbell shines, and where he’s going to leave the Truckers in the dust, is in his songwriting. He studied creative writing at the University of Memphis, and his stuff shows the careful consideration of a man for whom words carry a lot of weight. He’s like Steve Earle without the big chip on his shoulder. Sometimes the songs’ musical constructions have a bittersweet, minor-key Lynyrd Skynyrd vibe (think “Tuesday’s Gone,” not “Free Bird”); the melodies aren’t always


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Wednesday / 26 Bay Street Blues Hitman [Live Music] Bayou Cafe Thomas Claxton [Live Music] Billy’s Place at McDonough’s Mike Sweat [Live Music] coffee deli Acoustic Jam [Live Music] Jazz’d Tapas Bar Eddie Wilson [Live Music] Kevin Barry’s Irish Pub Danny Quinn [Live Music] Molly McGuire’s CC Witt [Live Music] Rachael’s 1190 Jeremy Riddle [Live Music] Rocks on the Roof Randy Cuba [Live Music] Tybee Island Social Club Blues ‘n’ Bingo Night w/Eric Culberson (Live Music] Warehouse Kellen Powers [Live Music] Wild Wing Cafe Jeff Beasley [Live Music]

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Thursday / 27

Bay Street Blues Hitman [Live Music] Bayou Cafe Eric Culberson Band [Live Music] Billy’s Place at McDonough’s Mike Sweat, [Live Music] Doc’s Bar Anne Allman & Duane Damiani [Live Music] Hang Fire Fare The Gap, Ancient River, Shapes & Their Names [Live Music] Huc-A-Poo’s Clouds And Satellites [Live Music] Jazz’d Tapas Bar Trae Gurley [Live Music] Kevin Barry’s Irish Pub Danny Quinn [Live Music] Molly MacPherson’s Scottish Pub Smith Brothers [Live Music] Rocks on the Roof Jeff Beasley [Live Music] Shrimp Factory Randy Cuba [Live Music] Vic’s on The River Jimmy Frushon [Live Music] Warehouse Stan Ray [Live Music] Wild Wing Cafe Bucky & Barry [Live Music]

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Fiore Italian Bar and Grill Anne Allman [Live Music] Huc-A-Poo’s American Hologram [Live Music] Jazz’d Tapas Bar Shrimp City Slim [Live Music] The Jinx Waves Slaves, Hermits of Suburbia, Lovely Locks [Live Music] Kevin Barry’s Irish Pub Danny Quinn [Live Music] Mansion on Forsyth Park Tradewinds [Live Music] Molly MacPherson’s Scottish Pub Soul Gravy [Live Music] Molly McGuire’s Keith & Ross

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Fluffy focuses on funny

A disarming chat with comedian Gabriel Iglesias buy at— along with Fluffy bobbleheads, Fluffy action figures and Fluffyapproved Hawaiian shirts. Ladies, you might have seen Iglesias as the house DJ behind the male strippers in Magic Mike. His 15-minute routine about making that movie is laughout-loud comedy gold (it’s on the Aloha DVD). He also has a role in the April 18 comedy A Haunted House 2.

By Bill DeYoung

Gabriel Iglesias may well be one of the funniest people on the planet right now. A plus-sized Californian of Mexican descent, the standup comedian defies crowd logic by not spending a whole lot of time poking fun at those two facts. Early on, however, he would tell his audience: “I’m not fat—I’m Fluffy.” And it has become his endearing nickname. His upcoming concert film, out in July, is called The Fluffy Movie. Fluffy has an amazing array of funny voices, which he uses to punctuate his animated stories about people, places and TV. Onstage, he has an engaging, easygoing manner, like the hilarious cousin who keeps you in stitches at the dinner table. His comedy is clean, too. A regular visitor to Comedy Central, Iglesias first arrived, tubewise, via NBC’s Last Comic Standing (he made it to the finals, but was disqualified for sneaking in his cell phone). His most recent concert DVD is called Aloha Fluffy, which you can

In the early days, Gabriel Iglesias says, people often thought he was Carlos Mencia or George Lopez.

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the day, that’s what I want my legacy to be: “Hey, that was the guy that went around the world and performed anywhere he wanted to perform. He had no limitations.” CS: It does seem like there’s less and less —

in quotes—Latino stuff in your standup now. Is that on purpose? GI: I’m trying to make sure that everybody

that attends the show understands the show to the fullest, and no one’s left wondering “What did he say?” or “What did he mean by that?” In the beginning, I was throwing CS: I heard you say recently that Spanish into my show left and right, but you were determined getting that’s all I really knew what to do. And that past the easy labels they gave was the only audience I was playing I front you in the beginning: “Latino of. So for that time, it did make sense. Comic” and “Fat Comic.” Why is But if I’m doing a show in Davenport, that important to you? Lincoln or Nashville, maybe someplace where not everybody’s gonna understand Gabriel Iglesias: I think a lot of it, then I try to keep the show as relate-able times people forget to just focus as possible and as broad as possible. By not on the funny. And for some reaalienating people. son, they want to label. People like labeling. I feel like if you CS: The movie stuff you’re doing, is that believe in the label people give the next logical step right now? you, that’s as far as you’re gonna get. That’s why I try to stress to GI: What’s funny is, everybody’s really pusheveryone, “No, man, I know my ing the movie thing. It is going well, but it’s roots and I know what I look like. not my focus. My focus was standup comBut I also know that I can peredy. A lot of people use standup as a stepform anywhere.” And at the end of ping stone. This was the goal, to be where

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I’m at right now in comedy. The fact that all these other opportunities are presenting themselves is icing on the cake, and it’s cool to say that you did a movie. But I don’t want to be the guy that just used comedy for the stepping stone. I want to make sure that people remember and respect comedy for what it is. A lot of guys want to use it to get to something better, and I’m like, “What’s better than live performing?” CS: Doesn’t all the traveling and the bad

food get old?

GI: You know what? I go home every week, I go on the road every week, so every week I get the best of both worlds. When one starts getting on my nerves, I cut to the other. I go home to my family and my dogs, and by Thursday it’s like “Aaaah! I gotta go …” It’s a lot of back and forth, and any time I’m in one place more than the other, it does start to drag. CS: Were you the funny kid in school,

doing voices? Did I know kids like you in school?

GI: I was actually very, very quiet, but if I had

remembering what I was talking about, and the chance to be silly, one on one, that was duplicating that. more my thing. Like I wouldn’t try to be silly Basically, it’s trial and error. Every night I for a group of friends, I’d try to be silly for go up onstage, I’ll always throw stuff at the one friend, one on one. That was my thing. I wall, see what sticks. Whatever works, and was actually very shy. gets even a little bit of a laugh, I can work off of that. CS: When did you discover that you could And so I’ll try it again the next day, and do it front of lots of people? I’ll tweak it. And I’ll keep tweaking the material with a character or a sound effect, GI: The first time I got up in front of an or maybe adding a word or taking away a actual crowd-crowd, I was probably about word here or there, in order to make it fly 10 years old. It was a school talent show. better. And I was just really excited to try it. I didn’t My whole way of presenting things is really have joke-jokes, I just had impressions. through story form, not setup/punch. It I was trying to mimic that guy Rich Little gives me leeway to say something that probdoing an impersonation of Ronald Reagan. ably wouldn’t be funny on paper, but the It was 1987, and Reagan was in office. way that I’m saying it is what makes it funny. CS

CS: You’ve said you don’t have a writing

discipline, that it’s all stored in your head. How much of that is purely the way your brain works?

GI: In high school, I was never very good at reading comprehension, or writing in general. Brainstorming and drawing a little bubble and coming up with ideas like that. For me, it seemed like homework. So when I started doing standup, I was really good at

Gabriel Iglesias Where: Johnny Mercer Theatre, Savannah Civic Center, 301 W. Oglethorpe Ave. When: At 8 p.m. Thursday, March 27 Tickets: $42 through

we’re back!


every Saturday 9am-1pm

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MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

IGLESIAS | continued from previous page


culture | food & drink

Griddle me this

Why settle for a boring breakfast when you can flip your own at the Funky Brunch? By Jessica Leigh Lebos

Photos By michele mobley

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

If you think about it, everyone wins at brunch. No matter how late you sleep, it’s still socially acceptable to order peanut butter pancakes. Those go-getters who have been up since dawn can move on to soups and sandwiches. And at what other meal can poached eggs be paired with vodka? Also: Bacon. With everything. Including the vodka. Whatever your early morning-to-afternoon appetite, you’ll find your favorite at the recently-opened Funky Brunch Café on East Broughton Street. All the classics 34 are on the menu: Eggs Benedict (renamed

“The Traitor” and topped with tangy, real hollandaise), crispy hash browns, steak and eggs, omelets stuffed with fresh veggies and melted cheese, the aforementioned crunchy bacon in both pork and turkey. Yearnings for lighter fare will be satisfied with spiced oatmeal and parfaits of lusciously layered yogurt, granola and fresh fruit. Gluten-free bread and vegan dishes allow every palate to be a player. And here’s the cutest kicker of ‘em all: There’s a griddle built into the center of your table to make your own gourmet pancakes ($7). Your server brings a squeeze bottle full of your choice of batter (buttermilk, whole grain or gluten-free made from rice flour) and toppings (everything from bananas to almonds to M&M’s), gives the griddle a good spritz of non-stick oil and

All early morning-to-afternoon appetites can be sated at the Funky Brunch Cafe, including a hankering for a delicious craft cocktail from bar manager Dylan Ilinitch. flips the switch. Then it’s up to you and your spatula—make ‘em big, small, smiley facedshaped, write your name, whatever you like. Funky Brunch owners Deanne and Trey Skinner came across the “cook your own” concept several times in their summer RV travels around the U.S. and were charmed by the interactive fun it brought to breakfast out. They decided Savannah could handle it, though some diners may need more practice than others. “The first batch always comes out a

little weird-looking,” warns Deanne with a chuckle. “Just like at home.” Imported from Germany, the griddles have a two-inch perimeter that stays cool and a slightly concave center to prevent accidents. Act like an idiot and touch it in the middle, however, you’re going to get burned. Hey, no worries if it’s too much responsibility or you’re just feeling lazy; the line cooks are happy to prepare a perfectlybrowned stack for you—the Funky Brunch is all about options.

food & drink | continued from previous page


DOWNTOWN 113 MLK Blvd. -


Open aT nOOn Take a Break, Eat Some Cake!! Daily Happy Hour til 7pm If you’re feeling breezy, there’s outdoor seating and games in the courtyard. bourbon-based Kinky Tea or Ilinitch’s wickedly delicious take on Irish coffee, the aptlynamed Good Morning, Good Luck. With its sleek silhouettes, steel flourishes and cheerful orange-and-green palette, the Funky Brunch is what might happen if Henry Ford and Donald Duck opened a Route 66 diner. A massive fixture made from actual streetlights overlooks the bar, and hurricane storm panels painted by local street artist Rodney Duran adorn the walls. Deanne calls the look “retro industrial” and designed the interior as the antithesis of the Barbie Dream House she didn’t have when she was growing up. “My mother had these stainless steel tables and I would stack them up to make my dolls this ultra-modern hideaway,” she remembers. “It was so much better than pink plastic!” The clean, bright space is also versatile: There’s outdoor seating under the canopy, and the entire floor can be cleared for special evening events. Hopscotch and cornhole are coming to the courtyard, in keeping with the Skinners’ family-friendly aesthetic. “I’m a mom,” assures Deanne, who has one son in college and the other already eagerly bussing tables and cooking on the line. “This is a place that kids can enjoy as much as the adults.” See? Brunch is for everybody. But no matter how comfortable you feel, please leave your fuzzy slippers at home. cs The Funky Brunch Café is open seven days a week from 7:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. 304 Broughton St., (912) 2343050,

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“I’m a picky eater myself,” confesses Deanne. “We wanted people to be able to order what they like without a lot of trouble.” Which brings us to the lunch side of things. For $7, you can build the salad of your dreams from five different lettuce mixes, add in cheese (blue, cheddar, parmesan or feta) and meat (grilled chicken, diced ham or shrimp) and top it with three offerings from a veritable garden of fresh vegetables and nine different dressings. While some diners dig the freedom, the Funky Brunch bunch appreciates that too many choices can be overwhelming. There are plenty of ready-made recipes like the Zingy Chick, a fresh croissant stuffed with lemon-tarragon chicken, and the Roasted Sammy with roast beef, Provolone cheese and caramelized onions served with au jus. Carnivores can sink their teeth into the Signature, a giant beef/Andouille sausage burger smothered in Asiago cheese and sprinkled with sun-dried tomato aioli. Sandwiches range from $7 to $14 and are served with a choice of side salad (if your decisionmaking skills freeze up, just go with the bacon ranch macaroni.) It may be illegal in certain states to eat brunch without a sumptuously garnished Bloody Mary, and bar manager Dylan Ilinitch has created a list of craft cocktails to rival any nighttime lounge. Start the morning off right with the Bellini-esque Flowers & Fun, served with a candied hibiscus bloom, or a traditional mimosa with squeezed-right-before-your-eyes orange juice. Those seeking more along the lines of some hair of the dog might try the

Student and Military Discounts with ID


culture | brew/drink/run

HUNGRY? The season for saison attention. shows up locally on draft Allagash Brewing Company is from time to time. It has a well known for their slavish devofresh, bright character that tion to traditional Belgian styles, is highlighted by fervent creating tripels, quads and witcarbonation, mild citrus biers as a part of its main line With temperand tinges of black pepsince the brewery’s inception. atures slowly per. It’s a solid warmHowever, Allagash Saison inching upward and weather go-to beer and is its first straight-up saison pollen piling up on car nicely complements a offering in 12 ounce bottles hoods, it’s obvious that wide variety of food released to wide distribution. springtime has hit from picnic fare to fine Pared down to the essenSavannah. dining. tials with the strong yeast While I’m partial to cooler temperaCooperstown base for which Allagash is tures and my allergies could do without New York’s Brewery well-known, the beer proves the increase of yellow dust floating about, Ommegang focuses reverential to the style and there is one thing I unequivocally love on the creative reis a nice American alterabout this time of year. It’s saison season. imagining of Belnative to a traditional The saison is a style of beer with roots gian beers, and Belgian offering. in 18th century French speaking Belgium their HenneSweetwater pin is a worldand actually translates to “season.” The Brewing Comclass saison. beer was brewed specifically for drinkpany is located in Brewed with ing by farmhands in the warmer summer Atlanta and every coriander, months. That is why saisons are often year releases a speorange peel, referred to as “farmhouse” ales by some cial one-off beer grains of brands. in a different style paradise Modern-day saisons are characterized to commemorate by ales that are light in color with a notice- and ginger, its founding. For it expands able yeast profile. That yeast can add a the brewery’s 17th on the classlight fruitiness to pair alongside a touch anniversary, it has sic Saison of spice. Moderate to high carbonation chosen a saison. A Dupont base gives each sip a nice spritz of bubbles to stark departure from with a wider underly mild, grassy hops. Saisons are Sweetwater’s base of range of flagenerally very refreshing beers despite sweet, hoppy beers, vors that work their slightly higher than average alcohol their 17th Anniverby volume (ABV) percentages. Many pop- in tandem to sary Saison Farmcreate a crisp, ular labels register in the 6 to 8 percent house Ale is more hoppy beer ABV range. traditional while Saisons share many characteristics with that truly introducing coriantheir close cousins, the French-originating stands alone. der and lemon zest Boulevard Bière de Garde style. While Bière de along with a drier Brewing Co.’s Gardes also have traditional farmhouse finish. roots and similar flavor ranges, these beers Tank 7, on the other hand, tend to derive more of their flavor from Saisons are ideal for plays it more the malt base rather than the yeast. This pale ale lovers looking can yield additional sweetness as well as a traditional than to expand into a new Hennepin; but it slightly toasted character. style with a broader does add subtle Not that long ago, the saison style had range of flavor profaded from prominence and it was difnotes of apple files. The recent gains ficult to find the import varieties on store and pear to the The Allagash proves reverential to the in popularity mean shelves, much less a domestic equivalent. expected citrus style and is a nice American alternative that this spring and However, it’s seen quite a renaissance in and lemongrass. to a traditional Belgian offering into the summer, the past few years, with more American The 8.5% ABV there will be many is very sneaky, however, so pace yourself craft breweries reinterpreting old world opportunities to imbibe one of Belgium’s and share some with friends. recipes and adding their own unique best beer traditions. So whether your day While Saison Dupont, Hennepin and twists on the format. job calls for long hours in a sun-drenched Tank 7 are long time favorites, there are If you’re new to saisons, the first mustfield, or has you slouched in the glow of a try on your list should be Saison Dupont two brand new saisons on store shelves blue-light computer monitor, the saison is from Belgium’s Brasserie Dupont. It’s this spring from respected American delicious and refreshing for beer lovers of fairly easy to find at bottle shops and even craft breweries that are also worth your any type. cs By Lee Heidel @brewdrinkrun

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culture | art patrol

San Francisco artist Karen Hovey comes to the Jepson Center for a workshop this Saturday from 10 a.m.-noon about repurposing recycled materials into art; her exhibit is also up at the Jepson.

3 Different Perspectives — Showcasing original artwork from Britton Dockery, Shaneka Savage, and photographs from Inari Washinghton. Refreshments. free entry Fri., March 28, 7 & 10 p.m. The Sicky Nar Nar, 125 W Duffy St. Artwork by Mary Ellen McLaughlin — Wilming-

ton Island resident and former graphic designer whose watercolors and sketches are inspired by the architecture of historic Savannah and by the flowers in her garden. Reception April 6, 2-4pm. Jewish Educational Alliance, 5111 Abercorn St.

At This Rate: Spring Senior Art Exhibition —

Armstrong’s Department of Art, Music & Theatre presents a Spring 2014 senior graduation art exhibition includes ceramics, paintings, graphic arts and illustrations, by graduating senior arts degree candidates. Reception Fr. April 4, 5:30pm Ashmore Gallery, 412 MLK Blvd. Cloud 6 — Six Savannah artists, Jose

Ray, Kelley Hagemes, Irene McCollam, LaShawn Floyd, Sunny Keeth, and Tara Garrigan showcase surreal works in watercolor, ink, acrylic, oil, mixed media, and photography. Opening reception Thurs. April 3, 6-8pm. A night of bizarre, funky, eerie, and whimsical lucid dreaming. Blick Art Materials, 318 East Broughton St.

Far From Home: Annual Exhibition by SCAD International Students — The annual juried

exhibition of works by SCAD international students. Refreshments. Transportation to and from Fahm Hall Gallery will be offered to students. Free and open to the public. Fri., March 28, 5-7 p.m. Fahm Street Gallery, One Fahm Street. Karrie Hovey: Art and Recycling Workshop for Teens — Noted San Francisco-based artist

Karrie Hovey will raise awareness of the creative possibilities of recycled materials through a fun art workshop for teens. Her installation “The Garden Grows: Inside and

Out is on display at the Jepson.” Free and open to the public. March 29, 10 a.m.noon Jepson Center, 207 West York St. Kirk Varnedoe Collection Exhibition Opens — As-

sembled in honor of the late Savannah native, scholar and MoMA curator Kirk Varnedoe, the Kirk Varnedoe Collection contains some of the finest examples of contemporary art in the Telfair’s permanent collection. Includes works by artists such as Jasper Johns, Chuck Close, Roy Lichtenstein, Jeff Koons, Robert Rauschenberg, Frank Stella, Kiki Smith and many more. $12 for adults, $5 for students with ID and Telfair members free. Jepson Center, 207 West York St.

QuiltFest Destination Savannah — Over 600

quilts, garments and works of textile art, including the national juried and judged quilt competition. Visitors can vote for the Viewer’s Choice Award. $14 Th-Sat (includes readmit) $12 Sun. Free for under 16. Thu., March 27, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Fri., March 28, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Sat., March 29, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sun., March 30, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Savannah International Trade & Convention Center, 1 International Dr.

a S v a g n nnah i v r e S for 101 Years!

Continuing Exhibits Savannah Calling — A multimedia art exhibition featuring the collaborative work of Robert Morris, Charlie Ellis and Will Morris, honoring the geography, beauty and importance of the Savannah River to the city through images and found objects. Will Morris’s film, Robert Morris’s paintings, and Charlie Ellis’s found object installations and sculptures overlap into a seamless exhibition. Ships of The Sea Museum, 41 Martin Luther King Jr Blvd. Alfredo Jaar: Shadows — SCAD deFINE ART

2014 honoree Alfredo Jaar presents the world premier of a site specific installation, Shadows, at the SCAD Museum of ART. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd. continues on p. 38

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Openings & Receptions


art patrol | continued from previous page Art in City Hall: Peter Halpern — Peter J. Halpern exhibition, Savannah Scenes, features paintings in acrylic that capture the unique beauty of everyday Savannah scenes. Savannah City Hall, 2 East Bay Street.


Best of Savannah Reader’s Poll Begins March 12th


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

presenting an educational overview of the three branches of Folk Art: everyday life, religious beliefs and distressed art. A joint project of Beach Institute and the Hurn Museum. Mondays. Beach Institute, 502 E. Harris St.

Contemporary Southern Landscape — The unique

landscape of the South is the subject of this exhibition of work by a wide range of artists, media, and styles. Jepson Center for the Arts, 207 West York St.

Dustin Yellin: Triptych — Yellin’s largest and

most complex work, a massive 12-ton, three-paneled epic, embodying his vision of the world and consciousness. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd.

The 2014 Connect Savannah


Art With Meaning: Folk Art in the Twenty First Century — A show of mixed-media art,


Familiar Terrain — Paintings and mixed media works by Lind Hollingsworth and Lisa D. Watson. Free and open to the public Through April 5 Indigo Sky Community Gallery, 915 Waters Ave. Ink and Bones — A street level combustion of

acrylic and markers, consequently resulting in impulsive new art work by local artist Corey Houlihan. The Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave.

Jason Middlebrook: Submerged — Middlebrook transformed logs once submerged in the Savannah River and that provided infrastructure for over 200 years. In the exhibition, these planed and painted planks hang from various heights and angles throughout the museum’s lobby. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd. Karin Mead Photography Exhibition — Mead’s recent work photographing the children of Copper Canyon and other areas in Mexico. Through March 31. Jewish Educational Alliance, 5111 Abercorn St. Matthew Brandt: Lakes and Reservoirs — Using

his surroundings as an additive medium, Brandt’s photos are bathed in water collected from the site in which the composition was derived. This technique mirrors the chemical composite of the photographed landscape. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd.

Nathan Mabry: Process (B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E) — A six-piece, sculpture-based installa-

New York Accents — An exhibition of visual art, decorative and fine art objects from Telfair Museums’ permanent collection dating from the early 19th century to the present, exploring the rich influence of New York on Savannah. Museum admission. Telfair Academy of Arts and Sciences, 121 Barnard St. Nicola Lopez: “Babel Revisited: History Repeats Itself” — Four-part, print-based installation

created specifically for the “jewel box” exhibition spaces on the façade of the SCAD Museum of Art. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd.

Pottery by Deborah Mueller & Driftwood Sculpture by R.L. Brethauer — Mueller uses stoneware

and raku clays in her sculptural pottery, she incorporates weaving materials in the Raku which create an unusual pottery. Brethauer creates nature enhanced driftwood ships and candles holders using recycled copper, brass,reclaimed building materials and driftwood. Through March 31 at Gallery 209, 209 E River St. Ridley Stallings Exhibition and Benefit for Humane Society — Ms. Stallings’ unique and engag-

ing work combines reclaimed materials of architectural interest with nautical and patriotic themes. Her work can be seen in galleries and shops throughout the South. A benefit for The Humane Society for Greater Savannah. Three Oaks Realty Company, 509 Barnard Street.

Rivers: Exhibition by Tim Rollins and K.O.S. (Kids of Survival) — Collaborative paintings inspired

by speeches/writings/music of Martin Luther King, Jr., Harriet Jacobs, Mark Twain, W.E.B. Du Bois & Duke Ellington. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd.

Sam Nhlengethwa: Life, Jazz and Lots of Other Things — Nhlengethwa’s first solo museum

exhibition in the U.S. Nhlengethwa is one of South Africa’s leading contemporary artists. The exhibition opens with with a juxtaposition of works by Nhlengethwa and Romare Bearden and also features vibrant jazz scenes, images of daily life and nation building, along with iconic works that touch on deep social issues. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd. Savannah Rocks! Travels to Blick — This exhibition of Savannah rock-and-roll photos and memorabilia moved from The Sentient Bean to Blick. Enjoy a little history, through 3/31. March 28 exhibit wrap party, 6-8pm. Blick Art Materials, 318 East Broughton St. Stations of the Cross: Lenten Art Show — Stations of the Cross artwork as interpreted by 14 local Savannah artists. Artists’ reception Sun. 3/30, 3pm-6pm. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 34th & Abercorn Sts.

tion exhibited in the Alex Townsend Grand Courtyard. Mabry appropriates figures of Rodin’s “The Burghers of Calais,” adorning them with familiar American mascot heads. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd. Transcending Perceptions — An exhibition by seniors at Armstrong Atlantic State New Work by Mohamed Danawi — An illustraUniversity. Five artists who specialize in diftion professor at SCAD, Danawi creates ferent media collaborate to showcase their bold yet simple posters, evoking a sense of unique styles. Featuring artists Bridget conceptual humor. Through April 2 at Gal- Beasley, Michelle Churchill, Dawn DeFrank, lery Espresso, 234 Bull St. Shannon Hurlebaus, Tramel Ortiz. Through

art patrol | continued from previous page March 28 at Ashmore Gallery, 412 MLK Blvd.

Drawing and Painting Classes — Ongoing

multi-level drawing and painting classes for youth and adults taught by local artist, Melinda Borysevicz. $35/class (4 week minimum) Portrait class: ten weeks, $425. Includes weekly model fee. $35/class. 912-484-6415. melindaborysevicz@gmail. com. Studio School, 1319 Bull St.

Upcycle: Functional Art from Recyclables — Turn-

ing trash and waste materials into art and functional items is the intent of this exhibition, featuring fourteen artists. Presented in collaboration with the Chatham County Recycling Center. Artists: Angela Burson, Brian MacGregor, Carolyn J. Ingram, Debi Prasetio, Ellen Wyatt, Emma Wieckowski, Garrison Marr, Harry DeLorme, Jessica K. Key, Laken Young, Lind Hollingsworth, Linette Dubois, Nanci Zabko, and Susan Brinson. Reception Fri. April 4, 6-9pm, as part of Art March. Reception Fri. April 4, 6-9pm, as part of Art March. Gallery S.P.A.C.E., 8 W. Henry St.

Viviane Sassen: In and Out of Fashion — Sassen

experiments with bringing elements from her staged photography (mirrors, collage, tape, color filters) into the museum space. Her fashion photography is marked by innovative strength and surreal beauty. SCAD Museum of Art, 601 Turner Blvd.

Watercolors by Victoria Collett — Paintings

by Australia-born, Savannah-based artist, writer and nurse. Through March 31 Hospice Savannah, 1352 Eisenhower Dr.

Open Pottery Studio at Savannah’s Clay Spot — For potters with experience who want time in the studio. Choose from 4-hour time slots. Registrations based on monthly, bi-monthly, or quarterly commitment. 912-509-4647. Savannah’s Clay Spot, 1305 Barnard St.

Blick Art Materials hosts the “wrap party” Friday 6-8 p.m. for the big “Savannah Rocks” exhibit of art, photos, and memorabilia about the local music scene.


Session II Visual Arts Classes and Workshops Now Registering — Session II classes and

workshops. Day and evening sessions are offered for children, teens, and adults in all skill levels. Sessions begin March 24 and run through May 2 and are held at the Department of Cultural Affairs Wednesdays.. 912-651-6783. City of Savannah Department of Cultural Affairs, 9 West Henry St.

Art Classes and Lessons — Drawing and painting classes and private lessons offered by artist Karen Bradley. Call or email for details. 912-507-7138. kbillustration@

Paint Savannah OPEN STUDIO — Mentoring painting session. It provides artists a venue for painting with mentoring from local resident artist Sharon McIntosh. Intermediate, Wednesday Afternoons (1PM - 4PM) $35 912 713 4267. Paint Savannah, 215 West Liberty Street. Sewing Lessons at Kleo’s Sewing Studio — Pri-

vate and group sewing & craft lessons by experienced SCAD alumni in a downoffers a variety of art classes every week: town studio above Paris Market. All ages acrylics, oils, watercolors, stained glass, and skill levels. Lessons by appointment mosaics, jewelry-making and more. See daytime or evening, 7 days a week (912) website or Tybee Arts Facebook page for up 596-0889. to date schedule of classes. Kleo’s Sewing ongoing Tybee Arts Center, 7 Cedarwood Dr. Studio, 36 W. Broughton St. #201. cs

Art Classes on Tybee — Tybee Arts Association

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OPENING MARCH 28: Noah Sabotage

MUPPETS MOST WANTED OOO The 2011 reboot The Muppets was an unqualified delight, smartly mining the nostalgia factor to reunite older moviegoers with the puppet protagonists of their childhood (or, in many cases, young adulthood). Whether building scenes around “The Rainbow Connection” or a modem connection (the film’s biggest laugh, courtesy of Kermit’s helper ‘80s Robot), the film was steeped in Muppet lore, and even those old coots Statler and Waldorf wouldn’t dare turn their noses up at its boundless cheer. Muppets Most Wanted opts for a different approach, leaving the warm and fuzzy feelings behind in order to charge full-steam ahead with a comedic crime caper. In this way, we’re witnessing a repeat of the first two Muppet movies, when 1979’s The Muppet Movie, about the series stars getting together (as in 2011’s The Muppets), was followed by 1981’s The Great Muppet Caper, about the pilfering of jewels in Great Britain (as in this new film). Muppets Most Wanted isn’t as satisfying as The Muppets, but it still represents a good time, packed with amusing gags, nifty cameos and a plot that doesn’t slow down. In this outing, a grinning talent agent named Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais) talks Kermit and the gang into following up their successful U.S. comeback with a European tour; what they don’t realize is that he’s actually in cahoots with Constantine, the world’s greatest criminal as well as a dead ringer for Kermit. With a dastardly plot to use the tour as the cover for stealing the crown jewels in London, Constantine manages to pass himself off as Kermit while the real Kermit gets mistaken for the criminal

mastermind and shipped off to a Russian gulag run by the stern Nadya (Tina Fey). Animal knows that something’s not right with the troupe’s green leader (“Bad frog!” he blares at Constantine), but the others, from Fozzie to Miss Piggy, don’t suspect that anything’s wrong, even though Kermit now sports a European accent and his managerial skills have noticeably gone MIA. To its credit, Muppets Most Wanted corrects the two major flaws found in the first film. Dull Muppet newcomer Walter, a lead in the previous picture, mercifully occupies far less screen time in this endeavor. And while the first film’s cameos were on the anemic side (Ken Jeong? Selena Gomez?), this one fares far better in that department, with welcome appearances by Stanley Tucci, Tom Hiddleston, Danny Trejo (as a prison inmate named ... Danny Trejo) and many more. The human leads (Gervais, Fey and Ty Burrell as French inspector Jean Pierre Napoleon) throw themselves into their roles with gusto, although it’s the Muppet leads who deliver the performances worthy of felt Oscars. Thanks to the chemistry between Kermit and Miss Piggy, their romance ranks up there with the torrid love affairs between Scarlett and Rhett, Jack and Rose, and Bonnie and Clyde, while my fave, Fozzie the Bear, deserves any and all comparisons to Brando, Bogart and Olivier. As for Animal ... well, he remains cinema’s best visual effect, a whirling dervish of shaggy countenance, musical derangement and Muppetational resilience. continues on p. 42

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014


screenshots | continued from previous page DIVERGENT


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

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OOP In the ongoing struggle to discover another Young Adult title that might possibly earn Twilight- or Hunger Games-like dough -- adaptations like Beautiful Creatures, The Host and The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones all fell disastrously short - Divergent appears to have a better shot than most. It’s a movie that gets better as it proceeds, and it’s easy to imagine the series as a whole working in similar fashion, with each subsequent installment better than the one which preceded it. For now, we’re off to a shaky start with the first installment in the franchise penned for the page by Veronica Roth. It’s the future, and people choose to belong to one of five separate factions: Abnegation, the selfless ruling class; Erudite, the brainiacs seeking to overthrow Abnegation; Dauntless, the city’s protectors; Candor, full of truth-tellers; and Amity, those happily toiling in the fields. And then there are Divergents, those who don’t fit into any one class and are deemed dangerous by Erudite. Sixteen-year-old Beatrice “Tris” Prior (Shailene Woodley) is Abnegation by birth and Dauntless by choice -- she’s really a Divergent, though, which pits her against the Erudite leader Jeanine Matthews (Kate Winslet). Divergent stumbles out of the gate, largely because it’s hard to ignore its derivative nature: Tris’ ordeals often bring to mind those of The Hunger Games’ Katniss Everdeen, while all that’s missing from the ceremony in which each teen must choose his or her faction is Professor Dumbledore’s Sorting Hat. But as the story finds its own way, the film improves, offering a nice contrast in Dauntless leadership between the tough but tender Four (pursed-lipped Theo James) and the cruel and callous Eric (sneer-lipped Jai Courtney), placing Tris and the other recruits through some grueling tests (both mentally and physically), and generating some real tension as Jeanine and her fellow fascists instigate their coup d’etat. The film eventually overstays its welcome (often a risk with a running time on the other side of two hours) with a seemingly endless series of climaxes, and while the movie’s not quite accomplished enough to leave us breathlessly awaiting the next chapter (as did the last Hunger Games flick), it also doesn’t leave us wanting to avoid the sequel at all costs. In the YA film canon, that should be considered a positive.


OP Based on the bestselling video game series,

Need for Speed isn’t fast and furious as much as it’s hyperactive and mildly ticked off. The Vin Diesel-Paul Walker (RIP) F&F franchise may not be high art, but in its best moments, it’s high entertainment - a claim that can’t be made by this increasingly idiotic picture that could easily have been titled Dumb and Dumber had that moniker not been snapped up nearly two decades ago. Aaron Paul, attempting to launch a film career now that Breaking Bad has wrapped, is asked to do nothing but glower and grimace as Tobey Marshall, a mechanic who hangs around with his annoying sycophants (Scott Mescudi, Rami Malek, Ramon Rodriguez and Harrison Gilbertson) at his failing garage. His former nemesis, a slick suit named Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper), offers him a lucrative job of rebuilding a classic car, but once their macho pissing contest begins, there’s an illegal street race, one of Tobey’s crew gets killed by Dino, and Tobey ends up taking the rap. When Tobey emerges from jail a few years later, he’s hellbent on getting revenge on Dino, so he opts to challenge him in an underground racing tournament masterminded by a mysterious figure known as Monarch (Michael Keaton). Writers John Gatins (Oscar-nominated for Flight) and George Gatins provide plenty of side incident, doubtless in an effort to dissuade people from dismissing this as merely a movie based on a video game. It’s commendable that much of the vehicular stunts and chases were filmed with actual cars and not CGI wizardry (director Scott Waugh is himself a former stuntman), but it’s hard to enjoy the mayhem when it’s presented in such nihilistic fashion. For a popcorn picture, this is rough stuff, with our ostensible heroes so wrapped up in their vainglorious escapades that they aren’t concerned at all with how many civilians and police officers they might have killed. Obviously, audiences aren’t expected to reflect on this sort of thing, and usually it’s easy to swat it away like a fly. But because the movie is one of those chest-puffed-up pieces about codes of honor and manly manifestos of morality, its protagonists come off less like heroes (or even anti-heroes) and more like petulant brats who get upset when Mom tells them it’s time to put away their Matchbox cars.


OO The word “bloated” is often used to describe movies that run a punishing three hours when a mere two would have sufficed. Hence, it may seem odd to use it to describe continues on p. 44


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

screenshots | continued from previous page a film that clocks in at 80 minutes -- even less than the usual theatrical minimum of 90. Yet that’s the case with Tim’s Vermeer, a feature-length documentary that would have worked so much better as a documentary short. The Tim of the title is Tim Jenison, a man whose various inventions have made him filthy rich. With money to burn and time to kill, he decides to attempt to answer a question that’s been tickling the minds of many art scholars: How did Johannes Vermeer, the 17th century Dutch painter best known for “Girl with a Pearl Earring,” manage to make his portraits look eerily like photographs, long before photos were even invented? Jenison decides that Vermeer employed a camera obscura -- Latin for “dark room,” it’s an optical device that allows for the projection of an image onto another surface-- and sets about using similar techniques and circumstances to create an exact replica of the artist’s “The Music Lesson.” It’s an arduous task that takes years to complete, and this movie, made by Jenison’s buddies Penn Jillette and Teller (the magic duo), doesn’t always know where the focus should rest. The nitty-gritty of the techniques are fascinating, as are some of Jenison’s realizations along the way, but too much of the time is spent simply watching Jenison gather materials or centering on circular conversations in which various folks (including Jillette, artist David Hockney and art scholar Philip Steadman) repeatedly wonder aloud as to whether Vermeer created art or merely traced it. All involved insist that whatever the method, Vermeer is still a genius, but the takeaway from the movie is that of a modern-day man trying to one-up a historical figure. In a bit of art-nerd humor, Jenison watches paint dry and cracks, “It’s like watching paint dry.” After sitting through the intermittently interesting but overlong Tim’s Vermeer, I know how he feels.


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

O The belated sequel to the 2006 international blockbuster 300, 300: Rise of an Empire is the sort of film that’s so monumentally awful, it effectively shuts down all critical reasoning and forces one to merely babble in clichés. In short, I’ve seen better film on teeth. This movie wasn’t released; it escaped. And I wouldn’t trust Noam Murro to direct traffic down a one-way street. Wholly unnecessary from a narrative angle - after all, the hunky heroes from the first film all died - this elects to follow a 44 group of Greek warriors whose adventures

are largely running concurrent to those of the 300. (This brings to mind how Life of Brian focused on a guy whose life paralleled that of Jesus, the main difference being that the Monty Python flick was, you know, good.) General Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton) is in charge, and with the Persian army on the march, he seeks help from all quarters - more so once he hears of the deaths of the 300. As it stands, though, his motley crew is no match for the massive Persian forces that are being led by Artemisia (Eva Green), a warrior woman whose viciousness knows no bounds (in one scene, we see her kill a Spartan prisoner and then lock lips with his severed head). I wasn’t the biggest fan of Zack Snyder’s 300, but that film at least sported a thendistinctive look as well as offered Gerald Butler one of his few decent roles. This follow-up attempts to emulate its predecessor’s visual palate but only winds up as an eyesore. The gore is neither realistic nor entertainingly over-the-top; instead, it appears storyboarded to death, with much of the bloodletting presented in studied slow motion. It’s a dull, deadening approach, the type that can probably only be truly appreciated by 15-year-old boys and serial killers. The shooting style is also the sort that annoyingly accentuates every piece of dust or ash floating by (well, CGI-ing by), and I half-hoped to see one of the dust bunnies from My Neighbor Totoro wafting down the screen, if only to perk me up. Led by the snoozy Stapleton, these vanilla actors inspire indifference more than anything else, and it’s hard to care whether they live or die at the hands of Artemisia. That brings us to Eva Green. As Artemisia, she’s the only positive ingredient to be found in this entire film. Absolutely ferocious in the part, she’s the only performer who manages to command our attention. And yet I was troubled by the particulars of her role. In flashbacks, we see her as a young girl, watching the Greeks murder her father and rape and kill her mother. Then she’s tossed into a prison, where grotesque men repeatedly rape her throughout her childhood, before she’s thrown out onto the street to die. Watching these scenes, my only thought was, shouldn’t she be the heroine of this film? This poor woman suffers horribly and yet is cast as the villain. I’m not really surprised by this development - the studio clearly knows its misogynistic fanbase, understanding that they won’t think twice about the travails of a member of the supposedly inferior sex, especially

a burned-out man who has nothing to lose. So rather than being supported in his investigation by his fellow flyers, he instead has to worry about them also standing in his way. As crisply directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (who also helmed Unknown), Non-Stop is such a sterling example of popcorn entertainment that it’s a shame when it tries to Non-Stop inject some heft into its storyline. OOO The reason behind the nefarious plot is Liam Neeson’s career pirouette has not only farfetched but also a tad tasteless, blessed the action flick with something it adding real-world concerns into a work that usually doesn’t harbor: a leading man who isn’t built to support it. can emote as well as he can punch. His presIt’s only in this moment that Non-Stop ence immeasurably aided the exciting Taken encounters any sort of narrative turbulence; and the underrated Unknown (Taken 2 was the rest of the time, it’s first class all the way. simply too wretched to be saved), and now he performs similar duty with Non-Stop. Yet ROBOCOP this new picture isn’t straight-up fisticuffs OP and firearms, as it also contains an old-fashThere are basically two ways to approach ioned mystery in the whodunnit? vein. Thus, RoboCop. Obviously, the first is to compare it’s more like Murder on the Orient Express it to its 1987 predecessor; just as obvious, and less like Snakes on a Plane. the second is to treat it as its own entity. Actually, Shakes on a Plane would have The results? On its own, it’s merely average; been a sound title, as Neeson’s character, Bill in comparison, it’s close to awful. Either way, Marks, is a jumpy sort, thanks to his alcomost viewers will justifiably be feeling a fair holism and his pteromerhanophobia (no, amount of rage against the machine. not a fear of pterodactyls but a fear of flyPaul Verhoeven’s ‘80s effort is a sci-fi ing). Neither of these hang-ups are exactly gem that has only grown in stature over the conducive to someone who makes his living ensuing years. Pulling no punches in either as an air marshall, but them’s the breaks for its violent set pieces or its satiric riffs, the Marks, whose latest assignment is a Newpicture casts Peter Weller as Alex Murphy, York-to-London flight. It’s not too long into a Detroit cop who, after being blown away the intercontinental jaunt, though, before by criminal scum, is transformed by a major he receives an ominous text message on his conglomerate into RoboCop, a metallic law secure cell phone: Place $150 million into a officer who eventually finds himself fighting specified account or watch a passenger get white-collar corruption as much as he’s takmurdered every 20 minutes. It sounds ridic- ing down thieves, murderers and rapists. ulous, but Marks takes the threat seriously The new version, which marks the Engand begins checking out the 150 passengers lish-language debut of Brazilian director on board to winnow them down to the Jose Padilha (Elite Squad and Bus 174, both likeliest suspects. Could it be the bald guy excellent) and the screenwriting debut of (Corey Stoll) who’s always furtively glancJoshua Zetumer, sticks with the basic outing around the cabin? The attractive woman line but veers off in many unexpected ways. ( Julianne Moore) sitting next to Marks? Gone is practically all of the pitch-black The mild-mannered professor (Scoot humor (remember those hilarious commerMcNairy) who was supposed to be heading cials and newscasts?), with the nyuks comto Amsterdam? The Middle Eastern man ing solely from the presence of Samuel L. (Omar Metwally) who naturally fits Amer- Jackson as a FOX-styled TV personality. ica’s idea of an in-flight antagonist? Surely it Also missing are ample vignettes of couldn’t be one of the stewardesses, veteran RoboCop in crime-busting mode, whether Nancy (Downton Abbey’s Michelle Dockery) shooting a would-be rapist in the penis or or newbie Gwen (12 Years a Slave’s Lupita hurling a would-be thief across a conveNyong’o)? nience store. There are other suspicious characters to Instead, this new picture gets bogged consider, and the strength of the screenplay down in one numbing scene after another, by John W. Richardson, Chris Roach and most centered around RoboCop’s attendant Ryan Engle is that practically no one is a doctor (Gary Oldman), his brilliant creator straw suspect, with Marks honing in on each (Michael Keaton) and his mourning wife player in turn. Elevating the intensity is the (Abbie Cornish). fact that the killer is carefully building the These are all cardboard characters bereft scenario so that Marks looks like the villain, of personality or depth. CS

when there are so many macho men to admire. But for a film already straining under the weight of cardboard characters, arid dialogue, erratic pacing and other deficiencies, adding this icky subtext only serves to make the finished product that much more of a travesty.

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Activism & Politics

Drinking Liberally

An informal, left-leaning gathering to discuss politics, the economy, sports, entertainment, or anything else that comes up. Every first and third Thursdays, 7:00 p.m. Tondee's Tavern, 7 E. Bay Street (912) 341-7427 Free , 7 p.m. drinking/chapters/GA/savannah. , 7 p.m Muffins with Mary Ellen

Alderman Mary Ellen Sprague hosts a weekly gathering for District 4 constituents every Wednesday morning. Residents and business owners of District 4 are invited to drop-in to ask questions and discuss local issues. Free and open to the public. Wednesdays, 6-9 a.m. 912-659-0103. Wednesdays, 6-9 a.m coffee deli, 4517 Habersham St. Savannah Area Young Republicans

Get involved. Contact is Michael Johnson, via email or telephone, or see website for info. 912-604-0797. Call or see website for information. Free . 912-308-3020. Veterans for Peace

The Savannah chapter of a national organization of men and women vets of all branches of service, eras and duty stations, working to expose the costs of war and to support veterans and civilian war victims. Last Monday of every month, 7:30 p.m. 303-550-1158. Last Monday of every month, 7:30 p.m Satisfied, 301 West Broughton St. Young Democrats

Mondays at 7pm on the second level of Foxy Loxy, Bull Street. Call or visit the Young Democrats Facebook page for more information. Free . 423-619-7712. Foxy Loxy Cafe, 1919 Bull St. Auditions and Calls for Entries

Call For Artists: Re:Tale Exhibition

This juried exhibition strives to showcase the breadth of interpretations of the concept of “visual storytelling.” Deadline to submit for this April 15 show is March 28. See website for details. Every 3 days. Every 3 days NonFiction Gallery, 1522 Bull St. Call for Artists

The Sentient Bean is seeking experienced artists interested in showing their work for the duration of one month at the Bean. Artists must have a website with current images representing a sample of the work to be shown in order to be considered. To apply, please send an email to with the subject line “art show” and include the following information: 1. Artist name and phone number 2. Link to website that has current and relevant images of work for proposed show 3. Link to artist resume (preferred) or artist resume attached as a PDF file ONLY 4. Type of work to be shown, including medium, general sizes, price range, and how many of pieces will be in the show 5.

compiled by robin wright gunn | Happenings is Connect Savannah’s listing of community gatherings, events, classes and groups. If you want an event listed, email Include specific dates, time, locations with addresses, cost and a contact number. Deadline for inclusion is 5pm Friday, to appear in next Wednesday’s edition.

Link to artist statement (preferred) or artist statement attached as a PDF file ONLY . The Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave. Call for Stories from Families with Down Syndrome and Other Different Abilities

Lowcountry Down Syndrome Society (LDSS) is calling for stories and tips from families with children with different abilities. LDSS hopes to collect 25 stories that will be published in a book to be sold online. The goal of this project is create a resource for parents and families to learn from each others’ experiences. There are no limitations set on the length of the stories submitted, but entries should include the writer’s full name, a photo to accompany the story, information on your child, and words of wisdom to other families that have a child with Down Syndrome. Stories ideas might include: the diagnosis of Down Syndrome in utero or at birth, what to expect and when, tips on traveling, enrolling in school, immersion, reading, motor skills, health tips, play time, and words of encouragement. All proceeds from ebook sales will benefit the Lowcountry Down Syndrome Society. Share your story in hopes to help other families on their journey. Please send story submissions to by March 31. Every 3 days. savannahpublicrelations@gmail. com. Every 3 days City of Savannah TV Show Seeks Entries

The City of Savannah's TV station, SGTV is seeking insightful and well-crafted profiles, documentaries, animations, original music videos, histories or other original works by or about the citizens of Savannah to run on "Engage", a television show produced by the city. Interested in collaborating with filmmakers, artists, musicians and others in producing original content for the program. While the City does not offer compensation for such programs, SGTV does offer an opportunity to expose local works to a wide audience. More than 55,000 households in Chatham County have access to SGTV. Submit proposals via website. The City reserves the right to reject any programming that does not meet content standards. . engagesgtv. Gallery Seeks Local Artists

Kobo Gallery, 33 Barnard Street, in downtown Savannah seeks 2-D and 3-D artists to join its cooperative gallery. Must be a full-time resident of Savannah or nearby area. Work to be considered includes painting, photography, mixed media, sculpture, glass, ceramics and wood. If interested please submit 5-10 images of your work, plus resume/CV and biography to . Kobo Gallery, 33 Barnard Street ,. Homeschool Music Classes

Music classes for homeschool students ages 8 - 18, and their parents. Offered in Guyton and Savannah. See website for details. . Re:Tale Call for Entries

Non-Fiction Gallery is looking for work that

explores narrative across different media and to understand how contemporary artists approach a storytelling problem and how they utilize their skills to communicate their point of view. $20 to submit 3 images Through March 28. 912-662-5152. Through March 28 Non-Fiction Gallery, 1522 Bull St. Weave-A-Dream Grant Applications Sought

Call for proposals for its 2014 Weave-ADream—Cultural & Arts Projects initiative. Applications will be accepted through the calendar year, while funds are available. Programs are to be completed prior to December 31, 2014 and the application must be submitted at least eight weeks prior to the start date of the project. Project funding is available up to $2,500 per program/ project. Emphasis on proposals that actively involve youth, seniors, and those who have limited access to arts based programs in Savannah. Applicants must be a non-profit, 501c3, head-quartered in Savannah’s corporate limits. Proposed programs must also be produced within the City’s corporate limits. No individual artist applications will be accepted. Applications are available on the Department of Cultural Affairs website. Mondays.. 912651-6417. (\arts. Mondays. Wilmington Island Farmers Market Seeks Vendors

The Wilmington Island Farmers' Market, scheduled to reopen for Spring 2014, seeks applications from potential vendors. Vendor application, market rules and regulations are available on the website. . Benefits

Chatham County Animal Control Seeks Donations of Items

Chatham County Animal Control is in need of items for pets in the facility. Seeking donations of canned and dry dog and cat food, baby formula, newspaper, paper towels, soaps, crates, leashes, collars, wash cloths, and towels. Open daily from 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. . 912-351-6750. Chatham County Animal Shelter, 7215 Sallie Mood Dr. Forsyth Farmers Market Seeks Sponsors

Market sponsors invest in a healthy community and show consideration for the local economy. Sponsorship opportunities begin at $350. Help keep food fresh and local. . kristen@forsythfarmersmarket. com. Forsyth Farmers' Market, 501 Whitaker St., South End of Forysth Park. Golf Tournament Benefits Local Boy Scouts of America

The 35th annual Coastal Georgia Council Boy Scouts of America’s Dodd Family Memorial Golf Tournament, to benefit the Scoutreach program for low income inner city youth. Wed., March 26. 912-927-7272, ext. 204. Wed.,

March 26 The Club at Savannah Harbor, #2 Resort Dr.

$5 Bikram Yoga Class to Benefit Local Charities

Bikram Yoga Savannah offers a weekly Karma class to raise money for local charities. Thursdays during the 6:30pm class. Pay $5 for class and proceeds are donated to a different charity each month. This is a regular Bikram Yoga class. . 912.356.8280. Rock the Runway: Flower Bomb: Reawaken Your Senses

Transition from winter to spring at this annual benefit for American Diabetes Association. Includes a Red Carpet PreParty, runway fashion show, open bar and decorated food stations featuring creations by local chefs. $45. Students $25. Sat., March 29, 5:30 p.m. 912-353-8110. Sat., March 29, 5:30 p.m Savannah Station, 601 Cohen St. SCMPD Animal Control seeks Volunteers

Savannah Chatham County Animal Control seeks volunteers to serve as greeters, office assistants, animal photographers,event coordinators, groomers, property maintenance workers, kennel assistants, dog walkers, cat socializers, play area monitors, off-site adoption managers, veterinary service supporters, and foster coordinators. No prior animal shelter experience is necessary. Newly trained volunteers will be authorized to serve immediately after orientation. Potential volunteers are asked to notify J. Lewis prior to orientation; though, walk-ins are welcome. Volunteers must be at least 17-years-old. . (912) 525-2151. Walk for Autism

Autism Speaks U, the Armstrong Atlantic State University chapter, hosts their third annual walk to raise research funds and awareness about autism in the Savannah community. For registration and fundraising info, email or call. Sat., March 29, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. 912.484.6487. Latoriyay@ Sat., March 29, 9 a.m.-2 p.m Lake Mayer, 1850 E. Montgomery Crossroads. Zumba Party in Pink Fundraiser for Susan G. Komen For the Cure

A Zumba Party in Pink to raise money for Susan G. Komen For the Cure. Childcare will be provided. $10. $5 students with ID Sat., March 29, 12-2 p.m. Sat., March 29, 12-2 p.m Hubert Middle School, 768 Grant Street. Classes, Camps & Workshops

Armstrong's Online RN-BSN Program Open House

Learn about Armstrong’s fully online program of study, designed for licensed registered nurses who wish to pursue the bachelor’s degree in nursing. The program is nationally accredited by the Commission of Collegiate Nursing Education and approved by the Georgia Board of Nursing. Meet the professors, explore online course

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Happenings | continued from previous page requirements and discover employment possibilities. Free and open to the public. Mon., March 31, 12-1 p.m. www.armstrong. edu/rn-bsn-online-openhouse. about. Mon., March 31, 12-1 p.m Armstrong Atlantic State University, 11935 Abercorn St. Art Classes at The Studio School

weekly drawing and painting classes for youth and adults. See website, send email or call for details. 912-484-6415. Art, Music, Piano, Voice Coaching

Coaching for all ages, beginners through advanced. Classic, modern, jazz improvization and theory. Serious inquiries only. 912-961-7021 or 912-667-1056. Artist Sacred Circle

Group forming on Fridays beginning in March. 1:30pm-3pm. Based on The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Contact Lydia Stone, 912-656-6383 or rosesonthemove@ . 912-656-6383. Beading Classes

Offered every weekend at Perlina Beadshop, 6 West State Street. Check website calendar or call for info. 912-441-2656.

Beading Classses at Epiphany Bead & Jewelry Studio

Learn jewelry-making techniques from beginner to advanced. Call for class times. 912-920-6659. Epiphany Bead & Jewelry Studio, 407 East Montgomery Xrds. Beginning Belly Dance Classes

Taught by Happenstance Bellydance. All skill levels and styles. Private instruction available. $15 912-704-2940. Anahata Healing Arts Center, 2424 Drayton St. Bellydance for Fitness

This dance-based fitness class blends belly dance moves to create a core strengthening workout. These quick paced classes build heat, endurance, flexibility, and strength through core isolations. Be prepared to have fun and sweat as you shimmy. No prior dance experience is necessary. All levels are welcome. $15 for drop-in or 4 for $50 (must be used in 30 days) Tuesdays. 912-293-5727. Tuesdays First City Fitness, 2127 1/2 Victory Dr. Champions Training Center

Offering a variety of classes and training in mixed martial arts, jui-jitsu, judo and other disciplines for children and adults. All skill levels. 525 Windsor Rd. 912-349-4582. Chatham County Sheriff's Office Explorers Post 876

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

The Chatham County Sheriff's Office Explorers Post 876, is currently accepting applications from young men and women (ages 14-20 years old) who are interested in a career in Law Enforcement. Explorers experience mentoring, motivation, and learn skills which help prepare them for their roles as a productive citizen in the Coastal Empire. Interested parties may visit the Chatham County Sheriff's web page, click "Community" then Explorers 46 Post 876" for applications, or contact Cpl.


R. Bryant-Elleby at (912)651-3743. . 912651-3743. Classical and Acoustic Guitar Instruction

Savannah Classical Guitar Studio offers lessons for all levels. Dr. Brian Luckett, Ph.D. in music. Starland District. Guitar technique, music theory, and musicianship. Folk/rock based lessons available. No electric instruments. $25/half hour. $45/ hour. Clay Classes

Savannah Clay Studio at Beaulieu offers handbuilding, sculpture, and handmade tiles, basic glazing and firing. 912-3514578. Boating Classes

Classes on boat handling, boating safety and navigation offered by U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary. See website or call to register. 912-897-7656. Contemporary Soul Dance

Contemporary Soup dance Sundays at 3:30pm - 4:15pm. A softer genre of jazz and hip hop, this distinct dance style is an outgrowth of modern dance blended with elements of rhythm and blues. Dancers are encouraged to place emphases on the connection of the mind and body through movement. Contemporary Soul will help the recognize traditional boundaries through balance, floor work and improvisation. This class is open to ages 10+. $15 for drop-on or 4 for $50 Sundays, 3:30 p.m. 404-709-9312. inspiredanceprogram@ Sundays, 3:30 p.m First City Fitness, 2127 1/2 Victory Dr.

visitation, contempt. Schedule: 1st Tues, 2nd Mon, 4th Thursday. Call for times. $30 912-354-6686.

404-709-9312. inspiredanceprogram@ Sundays, 2:30 p.m First City Fitness, 2127 1/2 Victory Dr.

Spanish is fun. Classes for adults and children held at 15 E. Montgomery Crossroad. Register by phone. . 912-921-4646.

Offered at The Frayed Knot, 6 W. State St. See the calendar of events on website. Mondays. 912-233-1240. thefrayedknotsav. com. Mondays

Fany's Spanish/English Institute

Figure Drawing Classes

Tuesdays 6-9pm and Wednesdays 9:3012:30am. $60/4-session package or $20 drop-in fee. At the Studio School. . 912484-6415. Studio School, 1319 Bull St. Financial Education Services Seminars

How to safeguard your identity through Identity Theft Protection, power-up your credit score though Credit Restoration, safeguard and protect your family and resources through Estate Planning. 3/26 at Second Bethlehem Baptist Church - 2501 Waters Avenue 3/27 at Hilton Garden Inn 5711 Abercorn Street Free and open to the public. Wed., March 26, 7 p.m. and Thu., March 27, 5, 6 & 7 p.m. (912) 232-6048. Wed., March 26, 7 p.m. and Thu., March 27, 5, 6 & 7 p.m Hilton Garden Inn Savannah Midtown, 6711 Abercorn St. Free Fitness Boot Camp

Mondays and Wednesdays, 6pm at Tribble Park, Largo & Windsor Rd. Children welcome. Free 912-921-0667. Gearing Up For College Workshop

Thinking about going to college or just curious to see what Armstrong has to offer? Join us for this one-stop workshop CustomFit Peak Running Challenge designed to bring you information about This course makes experienced runners financial aid, majors and degree programs, move faster. Six weeks of intensive work, payment options, VA benefits, and Hiswith an individualized program. Space is panic/Latino resources. Open to the public. limited. $189 early bird $175 Tuesdays, March 26, 2014 @ 5:30 pm in University Saturdays, 7:30 a.m.. 912-441-4891. Hall 156. For more information or to RSVP, customfitcenter. please contact shannon.vo@armstrong. com. Tuesdays, Saturdays, 7:30 a.m. Nancy edu. Free Wed., March 26, 5:30 p.m. Maia, 101-A West Park Avenue. 912.344.2570. Dance Conditioning Be prepared to sweat! Bring your towel and Wed., March 26, 5:30 p.m Armstrong Atlanyour water bottle! This class is designed tic State University, 11935 Abercorn St. Guitar, Mandolin, or Bass Guitar Lessons to enhance your strength, flexibility, balEmphasis on theory, reading music, and ance, and overall body fitness. With belly improvisation. Located in Ardsley Park. . dance movements in mind, this is a total 912-232-5987. body work out! $10 drop in or $80 for 10 classes Wednesdays, 7 p.m. 912.312.3549. Housing Authority Neighborhood Resource Center Wednesdays, 7 p.m Housing Authority of Savannah hosts Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson classes at the Neighborhood Resource Center. Adult literacy/GED prep: MonMemorial Drive. DUI Prevention Group Thurs, 9am-12pm & 1pm-4pm. Financial Offers victim impact panels for intoxieducation: 4th Fri each month, 9am-11am. cated drivers, DUI, offenders, and anyone Basic computer training: Tues & Thurs, seeking knowledge about the dangers of 1pm-3pm. Community computer lab: driving while impaired. A must see for teen Mon-Fri, 3pm-4:30pm. . 912-232-4232 drivers. Meets monthly. $40/session 912x115. savannahpha. 443-0410. com/NRC.html. Neighborhood Resource English as Second Language Classes Center, 1407 Wheaton St. Learn conversational English, comprehen- Jazz Funk Dance Jazz Funk dance Sundays at 2:30pm sion, vocabulary and life communication 3:15pm. This dance style is a blend of skills. All ages. Thursdays, 7:30pm, Island jazz and funk characterized by a strong Christian Church, 4601 US Highway 80 back beat, groove, and electrified sound. East. Free. 912-897-3604. islandchristian. It implements all types of improvisational org. Family Law Workshop elements from soul and funk arrangeThe Mediation Center has three workshops ments. Jazz Funk will get you in the mood per month for people who do not have legal to groove to the music and having fun representation in a family matter: divorce, doing it. This class is open to ages 10+. $15 legitimation, modifications of child support, for drop-in or 4 for $50 Sundays, 2:30 p.m.

Knitting & Crochet Classes

Knitting Class with Doris Greider

Fiber artist Doris Grieder teaches beginning knitting with a variety of yarns. Learn the basics of knitting, how to start and finish projects, and making scarves with novelty yarn. Three week class runs April 14-April 28,6-9pm. Offered by the City of Savannah Cultural Affairs Department. Advance registration is required. Call 651-6783 to register. $50 city /$55 non-city residents Tuesdays. Tuesdays. Latin Cardio

Latin Cardio is a cardio based workout class that is designed to get your off the couch and sweat while having fun! We dance to all your favorite latin style dances like cha cha, samba, jive, rumba, salsa and more! Don't will be sweating off the pounds every time you put your feet into action on the dance floor! No partner necessary. Workout clothes required! $10 drop in or $80 for 10 classes Mondays, 6 p.m. 912.312.3549. Mondays, 6 p.m Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Learn to Sew!

Sewing lessons for all ages and skill levels. Private and Group classes. . 912596-0889. Kleo's Sewing Studio, 36 W. Broughton St. #201. Lyrical Fusion Dance

Lyrical Fusion dance Sundays at 4:30pm 5:00pm. This dance style is a combination of ballet, jazz and contemporary styles. Dancers will be instructed how to perform precise movements while conveying the emotion of a song's lyrics through dance. Lyrical Fusion will challenges the dancer's flexibility and their ability to perform with emotion. This class is open to ages 10+. $15 for drop-in or 4 for $50 Sundays, 4:30 p.m. 404-709-9312. Sundays, 4:30 p.m First City Fitness, 2127 1/2 Victory Dr. Music Instruction

Georgia Music Warehouse, near corner of Victory Drive & Abercorn, offering instruction by professional musicians. Band instruments, violin, piano, drums and guitar. All ages welcome. . 912-358-0054. Georgia Music Warehouse, 2424 Abercorn St. Music Lessons: Private or Group

Portman’s Music Academy offers private or group classes for ages 2 to 92, beginner to advanced level. All instruments. Also, voice lessons, music production technology and DJ lessons. Teaching staff of over 20 instructors with professional, well equipped studios and a safe, friendly waiting area for parents and siblings. . 912-354-1500. Portman's Music Superstore, 7650 Abercorn St. Music Lessons--Multiple Instruments

Savannah Musicians Institute offers private instruction for all ages in gui-

tar, ddrums, piano, bass, voice, banjo, mandolin, ukelele, flute, woodwinds. 7041 Hodgson Memorial Dr. . 912-692-8055. New Horizons Adult Band Program

Music program for adults who played a band instrument in high school/college and would like to play again. Mondays at 6:30pm at Portman's. $30 per month. All ages and ability levels welcome. Call for info. . 912-354-1500. portmansmusic. com. Portman's Music Superstore, 7650 Abercorn St. Novel Writing

Write a novel, finish the one you've started, revise it or pursue publication. Awardwinning Savannah author offers one-onone or small group classes, mentoring, manuscript critique, ebook formatting. Email for pricing and scheduling info. . Photography Classes

Beginner photography to post production. Instruction for all levels. $20 for two-hour class. See website for complete class list. 410-251-4421. Piano Voice-Coaching

Pianist with M/degree,classical modern jazz improvisation, no age limit. Call 912-961-7021 or 912-667-1056. Serious inquiries only. .

Project Management-Real World Applications

Discover a documented step-by-step guideline for managing projects. Students will be exposed to a wide variety of strategic and real world scenarios. Course Outline: Day 1, Initiation and Closing Projects Day 2, Success Planning for Projects Day 3, Project Simulation for Execution Day 4, Project Control and Project Manager Professional Responsibility. $1,300 per person. Includes a copy of the 5th Edition of the PMBOKÂŽ from PMI. Thu., March 27, 6 p.m. 912-644-5967. Thu., March 27, 6 p.m Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. Quilting Classes

: Quilting classes for beginners and advanced stitchers. Learn to make your first quilt or learn a new technique. See the website, call, or come by the shop. varies . 912 925 0055. Colonial Quilts and Savannah Sewing Center, 11710 Largo Drive. Reading/Writing Tutoring

Ms. Dawn’s Tutoring in reading, writing, and composition. Remedial reading skills, help with borderline dyslexia, to grammar, term paper writing, and English as a Second Language. Fun methods for children to help them learn quickly. Contact: or text or call 912-12-660-7399. Call for fee information. Russian Language Classes

Learn to speak Russian. All experience levels welcome, beginner to expert. Call for info. . 912-713-2718. Sewing Classes

Beginner in sewing? Starting your clothing business or clothing line? Learn to sew. Industry standard sewing courses designed to meet your needs in the garment industry. Open schedule. Savannah Sewing Academy. 1917 Bull St. . 912-290-0072.

Short Story Writing

Gives students with some experience in fiction and nonfiction storytelling the opportunity to use assigned readings, writing homework, and workshop style critiques to explore various writing techniques. Works of Ernest Hemingway, Graham Greene, Ann Beattie and others will be studied. Upon completion, students will understand narrative structure and scenic writing, dialogue, character, place, word choice, rhythm and pacing, and the art of revision. Offered by Georgia Southern's Continuing Education division in Savannah. Call or email for days/times/pricing. . 912-6445967. ceps. Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street. Singing Classes

Bel Canto is the name of the style of singing invented by Nicola Vaccai, which helps the voice become flexible and expressive, improves the vocal range and breathing capacity and is the technique Anitra Warren uses to train her students. It carries over well as a foundation for opera, rock, pop, gospel and musical theatre. $25 MondaysSundays, 6 p.m. 786-247-9923. Mondays-Sundays, 6 p.m Institute of Cinematic Arts, 12 West State Street, 3rd and 4th flrs.,. Singing Lessons with Anitra Opera Diva

Teaching the Vaccai Bel Canto technique for improving vocal range and breathing capacity. A good foundation technique for different styles--opera, pop, rock, cabaret. Fridays 5:30-8:30pm. Institute of Cinematic Arts, 12 1/2 W. State St., 3rd floor. . 786247-9923. Spanish Classes

Learn Spanish for life and grow your business. Courses for professionals offered by Conquistador Spanish Language Institute, LLC. Classes offered in a series. Beginner Spanish for Professionals--Intro price $155 + textbook ($12.95). Instructor: Bertha E. Hernandez, M.Ed. and native speaker. Meets in the Keller Williams Realty meeting room, 329 Commercial Drive. . Stress Reduction: Arising Stillness in Zen

Stress-reducing practices for body, speech and mind. Five Thursday night classes from 6- 7:00pm. $15 drop-in; $70 for series. Rev. Fugon Cindy Beach, Sensei. Savannah Zen Center 111 E. 34th St. 31401 . Vocal Lessons

The Voice Co-op is a group of voice instructors in Savannah, Georgia who believe in the power of a nurturing community to help voice students blossom into vibrant artists. Each of our instructors have earned the degree of Master of Music in Voice Performance. Group master classes are held once each month for students of the Co-op. In the winter and spring the students will have the opportuinty to present a vocie recital for the community. Varies . 912-656-0760. The Voice Co-op, Downtown. West Coast Swing Class

Interested in learning how to West Coast Swing? Come learn from the best in Sa-


vannah. Rick Cody will take you though the smooth rhythms of beach music to help you get ready for the dance floor. $12 drop in fee or $35 for 4 weeks Wednesdays, 7 p.m. 912.312.3549. Wednesdays, 7 p.m Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Yoga for Couples

A two hour class for prospective moms and their delivery partners. Learn labor and delivery stages and a "toolbox" of handson comfort measures from a labor doula, including breathing, massage, positioning, and pressure points. Bring and exercise ball. Quarterly, Saturdays 1pm-3pm at Savannah Yoga Center. Call or email to register. $100 per couple. . 912-704-7650. Clubs & Organizations

13th Colony Sound Barbershop Chorus

Sing in the harmonious barbershop style with the Savannah Chorus of the Barbershop Harmony Society No charge Mondays, 6:30 p.m. 912-344-9768. rfksav@ Mondays, 6:30 p.m Savannah Arts Academy, 500 Washington Ave. Abeni Cultural Arts Dance Classes

Classses for multiple ages in performance dance and adult fitness dance. African, modern, ballet, jazz, tap, contemporary, gospel. Held at Abeni Cultural Arts studio, 8400-B Abercorn St. Call Muriel, 912-6313452, or Darowe, 912-272-2797. . Adult Intermediate Ballet

Beginner and Intermediate Ballet, Modern Dance, Barre Fusion, Barre Core Body Sculpt, and Gentle Stretch and Tone. no experience needed for beginner Ballet, barre, or stretch/tone. The Ballet School, Piccadilly Square, 10010 Abercorn. Registration/fees/info online or by phone. . 912925-0903. Avegost LARP

Live action role playing group that exists in a medieval fantasy realm. generallly meets the second weekend of the month. Free for your first event or if you're a non-player character. $35 fee for returning characters. . avegost. com. Blindness and Low Vision: A Guide to Working, Living, and Supporting Individuals with Vision


Workshops on the 3rd Thursday of each month on vision losss, services, and technology available to participate in the community. And, how the community can support individuals with vision loss. Orientation and Mobility Techniques; Low Vision vs. Legal Blindness; Supporting People with Low Vision to Achieve Maximum Independence; Low Vision Simulator Experiences; Resources. Free and open to the public. . Savannah Center for the Blind and Low Vision, 214 Drayton St. Buccaneer Region SCCA

Local chapter of the Sports Car Club of America, hosting monthly solo/autocross driving events in the Savannah area. Anyone with a safe car, insurance and a valid driver's license is eligible to participate. See website. . Business Networking on the Islands

Small Business Professionals Islands Networking Group meets first Thursday each month, 9:30am-10:30am. Tradewinds Ice Cream & Coffee, 107 Charlotte Rd. Call for info. . 912-308-6768. Chatham Sailing Club

Meets first Friday of each month, 6:30pm at Young's Marina. If first Friday falls on a holiday weekend, meeting is second Friday. No boat? No sailing experience? No problem. . Young's Marina, 218 Wilmington Island Rd. Drop N Circle Craft Night

Sponsored by The Frayed Knot and Perlina. Tuesdays, 5pm-8pm. 6 W. State Street. Enjoy sharing creativity with other knitters, crocheters, beaders, spinners, felters, needle pointers, etc. All levels of experience welcome. Call for info. . 912233-1240. Energy Healers

Meets every Monday at 6pm. Mediation and healing with energy. Discuss aromatherapy, chakra systems and more. Call for info. . 912-695-2305. Fiber Guild of the Savannahs

Open to all who are interested in the fiber arts: weaving, spinning, basket making, knitting, crocheting, quilting, beading, rug hooking, doll making, etc. Meets at Oatland Island Wildlife Center the first Saturday of the month September through June continues on p. 48


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Happenings | continued from previous page

Visit for more info.


Happenings | continued from previous page Workshops and the Annual EXPO with prominent nature photographers and keynote speakers. Photographers of all levels are welcome! $35 per year first Tuesday of every month, 6 p.m. 912-234-2571. alfie. first Tuesday of every month, 6 p.m Oatland Island Wildlife Center, 711 Sandtown Rd. Historic Flight Savannah

A non-profit organization dedicated to sending area Korean War and WWII veterans to Washington, DC to visit the WWII Memorial. All expenses paid by Honor Flight Savannah. Honor Flight seeks contributions, and any veterans interested in a trip to Washington. Call for info. . 912-5961962. Historic Savannah Chapter: ABWA

Meets the second Thursday of every month from 6pm-7:30pm. Tubby's Tank House, 2909 River Drive, Thunderbolt. Attendees pay for their own meals. RSVP by phone. . 912-660-8257. Ink Slingers Writing Group

A creative writing group for writers of poetry, prose, or undefinable creative ventures. Based in Savannah and a little nomadic. Meets two Thursdays a month, 5:45pm. Discussion of exercises, ideas, or already in progress pieces. Free to attend. See Facebook page savinkslingers. . Southwest Chatham Library, 14097 Abercorn St. Island MOMSnext

For mothers of school-aged children, kindergarten through high school. Authentic community, mothering support, personal growth, practical help, and spiritual hope. First and third Mondays, excluding holidays. Childcare on request. A ministry of MOPS International. Info by phone or email. . 912-898-4344. kymmccarty@ Islands MOPS

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

A Mothers of Preschoolers group that meets at First Baptist Church of the


Islands, two Wednesdays a month, 9:15am11:30am. . First Baptist Church of the Islands, 6613 Johnny Mercer Blvd.

Parking in the rear. Free to all Seniors . 912-344-5127. New Covenant Church, 2201 Bull St. Rogue Phoenix Sci-Fi Fantasy Club

A local club for fans from all over the sci-fi /fantasy universe, role-players and Meets every Wednesday. Different locations gamers. Meetings on the 3rd Tuesday of downtown. Call for info. No fees. Want to each month at Super King Buffet 10201 learn? Join us. . 912-308-6768. Abercorn St., Savannah at 7PM. Contact: Knittin’ Night Website: roguephoeKnit and crochet gathering held each or on Facebook. . 912-308-2094. Tuesday evening, 5pm-8pm All skill levels Safe Kids Savannah welcome. Tuesdays, 5-8 p.m. 912-238A coalition dedicated to preventing child0514. Tuesdays, hood injuries. Meets 2nd Tuesday each 5-8 p.m Wild Fibre, 409 East Liberty St. Low Country Turners month, 11:30am-1:00pm. See website or A club for wood-turning enthusiasts. Call call for info. . 912-353-3148. safekidssaSteve Cook for info at number below. . 912- Savannah Brewers' League 313-2230. Military Order of the Purple Heart Ladies Meets 1st Wednesday of the month, Auxiliary 7:30pm at Moon River Brewing Co. Call or Meets the first Saturday of the month see website for info. . 912-447-0943. hdb. at 1:00pm. Call for info. . 912-786-4508. org. Moon River American Legion Post 184, 3003 Rowland Brewing Co., 21 West Bay St. Savannah Authors Autonomous Writing Group Ave. Peacock Guild--For Writers and Book Lovers Meets 1st and 3rd Tuesdays each month. A literary society for bibliophiles and Prose writing, fiction and non fiction. Diswriters. Writer's Salon meetings are first cussion, constructive criticism, instruction, Tues. at 7:30pm at the Flannery O'Connor exercises and examples. Location: Charles Home. Book club meetings are third Tues., Brown Antiques/Fine Silver, 14 W. Jones 7:30pm. Location changes each month. St. All are welcome. No charge. Contact Call or see Facebook group "Peacock Alice Vantrease via email or phone. . 912Guild" for info. . 912-233-6014. Flannery 308-3208. O’Connor Childhood Home, 207 E. Charlton Savannah Charlesfunders Investment Discussion Group Street. Philo Cafe Meets Saturdays, 8:30am to discuss Weekly Monday discussion group that stocks, bonds and better investing. Contact meets 7:30pm - 9:00pm at various locaby email for info. . charlesfund@gmail. tions. Anyone craving good conversation com. Panera Bread is invited. Free to attend. Email for info, or (Broughton St.), 1 West Broughton St. Savannah Council, Navy League of the United see ThePhiloCafe on Facebook. . atheStates R.U.F.F. - Retirees United for the Future A dinner meeting the 4th Tuesday of the RUFF meets the last Friday of each month month at 6:00pm (except December.) Locaat 10am to protect Social Security, Medition: Hunter Club. Call John Findeis for care, Medicaid and related senior issues. info. . 912-748-7020. Knitters, Needlepoint and Crochet

Savannah Fencing Club

Beginner classes Tuesdays and Thursdays for six weeks. $60. Some equipment provided. After completing the class, you may join the Savannah Fencing Club for $5/ month. Experienced fencers welcome. Call or email for info. . 912-429-6918. Savannah Go Green

Meets most Saturdays. Green events and places. Share ways to Go Green each day. Call for info. . 912-308-6768. Savannah Jaycees

Meeting/info session held the 1st Tuesday each month at 6pm to discuss upcoming events and provide an opportunity for those interested in joining Jaycees to learn more. Must be age 21-40. Jaycees Building, 101 Atlas St. . 912-353-7700. Savannah Kennel Club

Monthly meetings open to the public. Held at Logan's Roadhouse, the 4th Monday each month, Sept. through May. Dinner: 6:pm. Speaker: 7:30pm. Guest speakers each meeting. . 912-238-3170. Golden Corral, 7822 Abercorn St. Savannah Newcomers Club

Open to women who have lived in the Savannah area for less than two years. Membership includes monthly luncheon and program. Activities, tours and events to help learn about Savannah and make new friends. . savannahnewcomersclub. com. Savannah No Kidding!

No Kidding. Join Savannah's only social club for people without children! No membership fees, meet great new friends, enjoy a wide variety of activities and events. or e-mail . The Historic District, Downtown Savannah. Savannah Parrot Head Club

Beach, Buffet and no dress code. Check


happenings | continued from previous page

Savannah Quilt Guild

Meet the second Saturday, September through June, at Woods of Savannah, 1764-C Hodgson Memorial. Social time 9:30am, meetings 10:00am followed by a program. Open to all who are interested in quilting. Membership is $25 per year. . (912) 598-9977. savannahquiltguild@ Savannah Sacred Harp Singers

Everyone who loves to sing is invited to join Savannah Sacred Harp Singers. All are welcome to participate or listen too one of America's most revered musical traditions. Call or email. . 912-655-0994. Faith Primitive Baptist Church, 3212 Bee Road. Savannah SCA

The local chapter of the Society for Creative Anachronism meets every Saturday at Forsyth Park for fighter practice and general hanging out. If you're interested in re-creating the Middle Ages and Renaissance, come join us! South end of Forsyth Park, just past the Farmer's Market. Free. Free , 11 a.m. , 11 a.m Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St. Savannah Story Games

We play games that help us tell improvised stories. Get together over food - roleplayers, storytellers, or the merely curious and help us create an amazing story in just three hours. We'll use games with special

rules that craft characters, settings, and conflicts. Weekends, in different locales check for more information. free Fridays-Sundays. info@ Fridays-Sundays Downtown Savannah, downtown.

by matt Jones | Answers on page 53

©2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords (

Savannah Sunrise Rotary Club

Meets Thursdays from 7:30am-8:30am at the Mulberry Inn. . savannahsunriserotary. org. Savannah Toastmasters

Helps improve speaking and leadership skills in a friendly, supportive environment. Mondays, 6:15pm, Memorial Health University Medical Center, in the Conference Room C. . 912-484-6710. memorialhealth. com/. Memorial Health University Medical Center, 4700 Waters Ave. Savannah Writers Group

A gathering of writers of all levels for networking, hearing published guest authors, and writing critique in a friendly, supportive environment. 2nd and 4th Tuesdays at 7:00pm, Atlanta Bread Company, Twelve Oaks Shopping Center, 5500 Abercorn. Free and open to the public. See website or call for info. . savannahwritersgroup. Tertulia en español at Foxy Loxy

Spanish conversation table. Meets second and fourth Thursday of each month. 7:30pm to 9pm at Foxy Loxy, 1919 Bull street. Come practice your Spanish, have a cafe con leche or Spanish wine, and continues on p. 50


1 Casino features 5 Pacific Coast salmon 9 King novel about a rabid dog 13 Feeling regret 15 Group whose O doesn’t stand for “oil” 16 Quite a distance away 17 Commend highly 18 Inbox item 19 Expensive Japanese beef 20 Amount of time before you stop reading inflammatory Web comments? 23 Laughingstock 24 Glitch 25 Cincinnati-to-Detroit dir. 26 $ fractions, for short 29 Did hayfield work 31 Wonder-ful count? 33 Force that I’m certain will pull you back to Earth? 37 “Let the Rabbit Eat ___” (mail-in 1976 cereal contest) 38 Hosp. area for critical cases 39 Reese’s “Legally Blonde” role 40 Food label units that don’t mind waiting around? 45 Get retribution for 46 Sour, as a stomach

47 Icelandic band Sigur ___ 48 7, for 14 and 35: abbr. 50 Microbrewery product 51 Dr. with six Grammys 54 Burp after drinking too many colas? 57 Beloved honey lover 60 Change of address, to a realtor 61 Barracks barker, briefly 62 Neighbor of Hank Hill 63 Risk territory 64 Wrath 65 Several 66 Good, to Giuseppe 67 Word appearing before or after each word in the long theme entries


1 Moda Center, e.g. 2 Garb for groomsmen 3 Catchers wear them 4 ___-nosed kid 5 1978 debut solo album by Rick James 6 Abbr. on a phone dial 7 Castle Grayskull hero 8 “Nothing Compares 2 U” singer 9 Blue Velvet, for one 10 Roswell crasher 11 MMA move 12 Mined set? 14 Comprehensive 21 “To Sir With Love”

singer 22 John of the WWE 26 Cook-off food 27 “Her,” “She” or “It” 28 Eye nuisances 29 Confine 30 Record label named for an Asian capital 32 Each’s partner 33 Face-valued, as stocks 34 “Top Chef” network 35 Focus of traffic reports? 36 Holy food? 41 Round toaster brand 42 Tension reliever 43 “I Shot Andy Warhol” star Taylor 44 “Battleship Potemkin” locale 49 Big name in farm equipment 51 Funeral lament 52 Rival of Rafael and Novak 53 January in Juarez 54 Use your jaw 55 Dash and splash 56 Horatio who played Aaron Neville on “SNL” 57 Kissing in public, e.g. 58 Lummox 59 “Nicely done!”

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

website for events calendar or send an email for Parrot Head gatherings. .

“It’s Really Nothing” and nothing can stop you!


Happenings | continued from previous page meet nice people....All levels welcome. Free. Purchase beverages and snacks. . Foxy Loxy Cafe, 1919 Bull St. U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary Flotilla

Join the volunteer organization that assists the U.S. Coast Guard. Meets 4th Wednesday at 6pm at Barnes, 5320 Waters Ave. All ages welcome. Prior experience/boat ownership not required. Call or see website for info. . 912-598-7387. Vietnam Veterans of America Chapter 671

Meets second Monday of each month, 7pm, at the American Legion Post 135, 1108 Bull St. . 912-429-0940. rws521@ When Humanity Fails: Holocaust Exhibit

This interactive exhibition educates about the events that led to the Holocaust during WWII, as well the stories of the courageous U.S. soldiers who liberated the concentration camps and rescued the survivors. Ages 12 yrs. and up. School, civic and religious groups are welcome. Call for large group reservations. Free and open to the public. Opening reception March 30, 4-5:30pm. Sun., March 30, 4-5:30 p.m. and April 1-30. 912-355-8111. programming@ Opening reception March 30, 4-5:30pm Sun., March 30, 4-5:30 p.m. and April 1-30 Jewish Educational Alliance, 5111 Abercorn St. Woodville-Tompkins Scholarship Foundation

Meets second Tuesday each month (except October) 6:00pm, Woodville-Tompkins, 151 Coach Joe Turner St. Call or email for info. . 912-232-3549. chesteraellis@comcast. net. Concerts

13th Colony Sound (Barbershop Singing)

“If you can carry a tune, come sing with us!� Mondays, 7pm. . 912-344-9768. Thunderbolt Lodge #693, 3111 Rowland Ave. Brittany Schroeder: Soprano Concert

The Armstrong Department of Art, Music & Theatre presents this student performance/recital. Free and open to the public. Fri., March 28, 2:30 p.m. Fri., March 28, 2:30 p.m Armstrong Fine Arts Center, 11935 Abercorn St. High Tea on a High Note: Les Taylor, Baritone

The first in a series of concert and high tea/appetizers events, benefiting Wesley Oak UMC's new Steinway and music program. Les will perform songs from "Fiddler on the Roof", "Man of La Mancha" and "Oliver"; all roles he has played in the past in community theater productions. Reservations requested. Free and open to the public. Donations encouraged. Sun., March 30, 4 p.m. 912-352-0844. Sun., March 30, 4 p.m Wesley Oak United Methodist Church, 3124 East Victory Drive.

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Live Music with Craig Tanner

Live music every Wednesday with Craig Tanner and rotating guests such as Eric Britt, Eric Dunn and Mr. Williams. FREE Wednesdays, 6 p.m. Wednesdays, 6 p.m Bonna Bella Waterfront Grille, 2740 Livingston Avenue.

Lunchtime Lenten Concert Series: Voice Studio Recital

Trinity's Lunchtime Lenten Concert Series

50 continues with a recital by students of Dr.


Emily Grundstad-Hall from the Art, Music & Theatre department at Armstrong. In Hendrix House, fourth floor of the church building. Lunch before or after the concert in the dining hall. a.m.-12:15 p.m. and from 12:45-1:15 p.m.. Free to attend. Lunch is $5. Wed., March 26, 12:15-12:45 p.m. 912-233-4766. Wed., March 26, 12:1512:45 p.m Trinity United Methodist Church, 225 West President St. Piano Lessons

Give the gift of music. Piano lessons with a classically trained instructor, with theater and church experience. Adults & children welcome. All levels. Call Renee Miles, 912312-3977. GA Music Warehouse. . Georgia Music Warehouse, 2424 Abercorn St. Conferences

Unleash the Empire: Speaker, Deevetkeio Griffeth

Award-winning makeup artist and founder of ART Cosmetics provides insight to both seasoned and aspiring service industry professionals and introduces his complete line of beauty products. $15 Sun., March 30, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 404-692-2127. cgc. Sun., March 30, 11 a.m.-4 p.m Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street.

Beginners Belly Dancing with Cybelle

For those with little-to-no dance background. Instructor is formally trained, has performed for over ten years. $15/person. Tues. 7pm-8pm. Private classes and walk ins available. Synergistic Bodies, 7724 Waters Ave. . 912-414-1091. info@cybelle3. com. Beginning Pole Fitness

Our pole classes offer a fun and flirty way to get a great workout in a safe and comfortable environment. Our National Miss Fitness 2013 and Miss Georgia Pole 2012 instructor, Sabrina Madsen, will teach you the basics including spins and pole dance moves. All fitness levels are welcome! $25 for drop-in or 5 for $100 (must be used in 30 days) Tuesdays, 8 p.m. (801) 673-6737. Tuesdays, 8 p.m First City Fitness, 2127 1/2 Victory Dr. Belly Dance Classes with Nicole Edge

At Fitness on Broughton, 1 E. Broughton St. Beginners class-Wednesdays 7-8pm Advanced class-Fridays 6-7pm $15 per session, discount for Fitness on Broughton members. . 912-596-0889. edgebellydance. com. First City Fitness, 2127 1/2 Victory Dr. Bellydance lessons with Happenstance Bellydance

All levels and styles of bellydance welcome. Classes are every Monday from 5:30-6:30pm. $15/lesson. Drop-ins welcome or call Carrie @(912)704-2940 for more info. happenstancebellydance@ Dance Adult Ballet Class happenstancebellydance. Maxine Patterson School of Dance, 2212 $15/lesson , 5:30 p.m. Lincoln St, offers adult ballet on Thursdays, (912) 704-2940. happenstancebellydance. 6:30pm-7:30pm $12 per class. Call for info. , 5:30 p.m Anahata Heal. 912-234-8745. ing Arts Center, 2424 Drayton St. Suite B. Adult Intermediate Ballet

Mondays and Wednesdays, 7pm-8pm. $12/class or $90/8 classes. Call for info. Academy of Dance, 74 W. Montgomery Crossroad. . 912-921-2190. Argentine Tango

Lessons Sundays 1:30-3;30pm. Open to the public. $3 per person. Wear closed toe leather shoes if possible. Doris Martin Dance Studio, 8511-h ferguson Ave. Call or email for info. . 912-925-7416. Ballroom Group Dance Class

Weekly ballroom dance classes focus on two types of dance each month. Open to partners/couples or to solos. The $35 for 4 weeks or $10 drop in Featured dances in March will be Salsa and East Coast Swing.. Mondays, 7 p.m. 912.312.3549. Featured dances in March will be Salsa and East Coast Swing. Mondays, 7 p.m Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Ballroom/Latin Group Class

Every Tuesday and Wednesday we will be having group classes at 8pm! Tuesdays classes will focus on FUNdamental steps, styling, and techniques. Wednesday's classes will be more specific and advanced elements. Each class will have specific themes, so stay tuned for details. $15/ person and $25/couple Wednesdays, 8 p.m. 912-335-3335. savannahballroom@gmail. com. Wednesdays, 8 p.m Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street.

C.C. Express Dance Team

Wednesdays, 6pm-8pm. Clogging or tap dance experience is necessary. Call Claudia Collier for info. . 912-748-0731. Windsor Forest Recreation Building, Windsor Forest. Dance for Peace

A weekly gathering to benefit locals in need. Music, dancing, fun for all ages. Donations of nonperishable food and gently used or new clothing are welcomed. Free and open to the public. Sundays, 3 p.m. 912-547-6449. Sundays, 3 p.m Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St. Dance Lessons (Salsa, Bachata)

Learn to dance Salsa & Bachata. For info, call Austin (912-704-8726) or Omar (Spanish - 787-710-6721). Thursdays. 912-7048726. Thursdays Great Gatsby, 408 West Broughton Street. Dance Party

Join us on Thursdays at 8pm for fun, friendship, and dancing! Parties are free for our students and are only $10 for visitors ($15 for couples). free - $15 Thursdays, 8 p.m. 912-335-3335. Thursdays, 8 p.m Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street. FUNdamentals Dance Lesson

Every Tuesday and Wednesday we will be having group classes at 8pm! Tuesdays classes will focus on FUNdamental steps, styling, and techniques. Wednesday's classes will be more specific and advanced

elements. Each class will have specific themes, so stay tuned for details. $15/ person $25/couple Tuesdays, 8 p.m. 912335-3335. Tuesdays, 8 p.m Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street. Home Cookin' Cloggers

Wednesdays, 6pm-8pm, Nassau Woods Recreation Building, Dean Forest Road. No beginner classes at this time. Call Claudia Collier for info. . 912-748-0731. Irish Dance Classes

Glor na Dare offers beginner to champion Irish Dance classes for ages 5 and up. Adult Step & Ceili, Strength and Flexibility, non-competitive and competitive programs, workshops, camps. Certified. Info via email or phone. . 912-704-2052. Kids/Youth Dance Class

Kids Group class on various Ballroom and Latin dances. Multiple teachers. Ages 4-17 currently enrolled in the program. Prepares youth for social and/or competitive dancing. $15/person Saturdays, 10 a.m. 912-335-3335. savannahballroom@gmail. com. Saturdays, 10 a.m Savannah Ballroom Dance Studio, 11 Travis Street. Line Dancing

Take down Tuesdays. Jazzy Sliders Adult Line Dancing, every Tuesday, 7:30pm10:00pm. Free admission, cash bar. Come early and learn a new dance from 7:30pm8:30pm. . Doubles Nightclub, 7100 Abercorn St. Mahogany Shades of Beauty

Dance classes--hip hop, modern, jazz, West African, ballet, lyrical and step. Modeling and acting classes. All ages/all levels welcome. Call Mahogany for info. . 912-272-8329. Modern Dance Class

Beginner and intermediate classes. Fridays 10am-11:15am. Doris Martin Studio, 7360 Skidaway Rd. Call Elizabeth for info. . 912-354-5586. Pole Dancing Classes

Beginners class, Wednesdays, 8pm. Level II, Mondays, 8pm. $22/one class. $70/ four classes. Preregistration required. Learn pole dance moves and spins while getting a full body workout. Pole Fitness Classes Monday/Wednesday, 11am. Nothing comes off but your shoes. Call or see website for info. . 912-398-4776. Fitness Body & Balance Personal Training Studio, 2209 Rowland Ave, Suite 2. RAVE NIGHT with DJ ORSON WELLS

Get your Rave on with the the one and only DJ Orson Wells! We got glow sticks! Saturdays, 9 p.m. Saturdays, 9 p.m Salsa Lessons by Salsa Savannah

Tues. 8pm-9pm and 9pm-10pm. Thur. 8pm-9pm and 9pm-10pm. Sun. 5pm6pm and 6pm-7pm. Salon de Maile, 704B Hodgson Memorial Dr., Savannah, 31406. See website for info. . Savannah Dance Club

Shag, swing, cha-cha and line dancing. Everyone invited. Call for location, days and times. . 912-398-8784. Savannah Shag Club

Wednesdays, 7pm,at Doubles Lounge.


Fridays, 7pm, at American Legion Post 36, 2309 E. Victory Dr. . doublesnightclub. com/. Doubles Nightclub, 7100 Abercorn St. Savannah Swing Cats--Swing Dancing

. Doubles Nightclub, 7100 Abercorn St. Sizzle: Dance and Cardio

A class designed to maintain that summer body by dancing and having fun. Incorporates dance and cardio to fun, spicy songs. $10 drop in or 10 classes for $80 Tuesdays, Fridays, 10 a.m. 912-312-3549. Tuesdays, Fridays, 10 a.m Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Zumba & Zumba Toning with Anne

Ditch the workout & join the party. All levels welcome. Wednesdays, 6:30 PM 7:30PM. Lake Mayer Community Center 1850 East Montgomery Crossroads $5 class - discount cards available Bring a friend & it's free for you! . 912-596-1952. Lake Mayer, 1850 E. Montgomery Crossroads. Events

26th Annual Dixieland Cruisers Charity Car Show

Saturday, Mar 29, 8 AM-3PM. Car show at Windsor Forest Baptist Church - White Bluff and Windsor Rds. Spectators free. Classics, Hot Rods, Trucks, Imports and Motorcycles. Live band noon-2PM, www. Spectators Free. Registration $15-$20 Sat., March 29. 912748-4005. Sat., March 29 Windsor Forest Baptist Church, 12532 White Bluff Rd. 79th Annual Savannah Tour of Homes & Gardens

Self guided walking tours in different historic areas, mostly in downtown Savannah, and mostly featuring peeks inside private homes. Lectures, teas, and garden tours. Each event ticketed separately. special events as well as some of the best food and hospitality the South has to offer. Tour prices vary. See website. March 27-30. 912-234-8054. savannahtourofhomes. org. March 27-30 Downtown Savannah, downtown. Charter School Job Fair

To match qualified professionals with employment opportunities, the Georgia Charter Schools Association (GCSA) will host a charter school job fair. Includes a free "Charter School 101" class covering operation, philosophy and culture of public charter schools. Free to attend. Reservations required. Sat., March 29, 9 a.m.-noon. ryoungblood@gacharters. org. Sat., March 29, 9 a.m.-noon Coastal Empire Montessori Charter School, 301 Buckhalter Rd. Columbus Ships Nina and Pinta at Savannah Riverfront

These "floating museum" replicas of two of Columbus's ships are open daily for self guided tours. The Nina was buit by hand and without use of power tools. Archaeology magazine called the ship “the most historically correct Columbus replica ever

built.” The Pinta was recently built in Brazil to accompany the Nina on all of her travels. Group guided tours available by reservation. $8 adults. $7 seniors. $6 age 5-16. Free age 4 and under. March 28-April 7, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. 787-672-2152. columfnd1492@ March 28-April 7, 9 a.m.-6 p.m River Street Marketplace and Dock, 502 E. River St. Farm a la Carte: A Mobile Farmer's Market

At various spots around town, including Green Truck on Wednesdays, 2:30pm6:30pm. Bethesda Farmers' Market on Thursdays, 3:00-5:30pm. Forsyth Park Farmers' Market on Saturdays, 9am-1pm. Sustainable meats, organic produce, local dairy. . greentruckpub. com. Green Truck Pub, 2430 Habersham St. Guided Tours of the Lucas Theatre for the Arts

Learn the history of the historic Lucas Theatre on a 20-30 minute tour. Restoration, architecture, history of the theatre and of early cinema. $4. Group rates for ten or more. School trips available. No reservations needed for 10:30am, 1:30pm and 2pm. Other times by appointment. Call for info. . 912-525-5023. Lucas Theatre for the Arts, 32 Abercorn St.


$5 Community Yoga Classes

Savannah Power Yoga offers a community yoga class nearly every day of the week for just $5. All proceeds support local organizations. Check out our schedule at www. for details. Note that most of our classes are heated to 90 degrees and you will sweat! Bring a yoga mat, towel and some water and get ready to have some fun! $5 Mondays-Fridays, Sundays. (912) 695-9990. savannahpoweryoga. com. MondaysFridays, Sundays Savannah Power Yoga, 7360 Skidaway Rd. Al-Anon Family Groups

An anonymous fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics. the message of Al-Anon is one of strength and hope for friends/family of problem drinkers. Al-Anon is for adults. Alateen is for people age 13-19. Meetings daily throughout the Savannah area. check website or call for info. . 912-598-9860. Bariatric Surgery Support Group

First Wednesday each month, 7pm, and third Saturday, 10am, in Mercer Auditorium of Hoskins Center at Memorial. For Pimp N' Ho Costume Ball & Club Hop those who have had or are considering Chris Cook’s DOWNTOWN HO-DOWN bariatric surgery. Free to attend. Call PIMPTACULAR! Pimp N’ Ho Costume Club or see website for info. . 912-350-3438. Hop & After Party. Hop starts at 1:15pm at memorialhealth. POUR LARRY’S in City Market. Check Face- com/. Memorial Health University Medical book for full bar list, map and times. FREE Center, 4700 Waters Ave. Beach Body Workouts with Laura to Join! 21+. PiMP-A-LiCiOUS Drink Specials All Day! PIMP N’ HO COSTUME BALL AFTERPARTY. 10pm above Sweet Melissa’s at Speakeasy’s. BYOB 18 to Party. 21 to drink. Wild performances by The Hellcats! Player of the Year Award plus The World Famous Lingerie Contest! also Hustler wit da Most Ho’s, Best Pimp Strut, Trashiest Hooker, Classist Call Girl. Music by Analog Kyd. $5 Sat., March 29, 1:15 & 10 p.m. 912661-2435. Sat., March 29, 1:15 & 10 p.m Speakeasy's, 35 Whitaker Street. Savannah Storytellers

Tall tales and fun times with the classic art of storytelling. Every Wednesday at 6pm. Reservations encouraged by calling 912-349-4059. Wednesdays, 6 p.m. Wednesdays, 6 p.m Tubby's Tank House (Thunderbolt), 2909 River Dr.


912-544-0026 More local numbers: 1.800.777.8000 Ahora en Español /18+

The #1 social network for men who like men

MONDAYS at 6:15 PM at the Lake Mayer Community Center $5.00 per session Mondays, 6:15 p.m. (912) 652-6784. Mondays, 6:15 p.m Lake Mayer, 1850 E. Montgomery Crossroads. Beastmode Fitness Group Training

Train with this elite team. A total body program that trims, tones and gets results. Personal training options available. See website for info. Meets at West Broad YMCA. 5am-6am and 8pm-9pm. . YMCA-West Broad St, 1110 May St. Bellydancing Fusion Classes

Mixes ballet, jazz, hip hop into a unique high energy dance style. Drills and choreographies for all levels.Small classes in downtown Savannah, and on request. $10 per person. Email for info. . Blue Water Yoga

Community donation-based classes, Tues. and Thurs., 5:45pm - 7:00pm. Fri., 9:30am-10:30am. Email for info or find Blue Water Yoga on Facebook. . egs5719@ Talahi Island Community Club, 532 Quarterman Dr. Fitness Classes at the JEA

Sin, firm it up, yoga, Pilates, water aerobics, Aquasize, senior fitness, and Zumba. Prices vary. Call for schedule. . 912-3558811. Jewish Educational Alliance, 5111 Abercorn St. Free Caregiver Support Group

For anyone caring for senior citizens with continues on p. 52

coming soon!!!

Over 50 of the Finest Entertainers in the Southeast Full Bar & Daily lunch specials

Vote us Best Adult entertAinment Venue now on open @ 5pm sunDay! 12 n. lathrop aVe. | 233-6930 | now hiring classy entertainers turn right @ the great Dane statue on Bay st.

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Happenings | continued from previous page


Free will astrology

by Rob brezsny |


and amuse you all along the way?

I have coined a new word just for your horoscope this week. It’s “zex,” short for “zen sex.” Zex is a kind of sex in which your mind is at rest, empty of all thoughts. You breathe slowly and calmly, move slowly and calmly, grunt and moan slowly and calmly. You are completely detached from the sensual pleasure you are experiencing. You have no goals other than the intention to be free of all goals. Zex is the ONLY variety of sex I recommend for you right now, Aries. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Zex may be fine to practice at any other time, but not these days. The style of sex you need most is exuberant, unbridled, expansive, and even zany.


(March 21-April 19)


(April 20-May 20)

In Somalia, there’s a law that forbids you from putting your used chewing gum on your nose and walking around in public. Fortunately, you don’t live there, so it’s fine if you want to do that. In fact, I encourage you to go right ahead. To do so would be right in alignment with the cosmic omens. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You should definitely not take yourself too seriously this week; you should look for opportunities to playfully lose your dignity and razz the status quo. But there are craftier ways to do that than by sticking gum on your nose.


(May 21-June 20)

Tata Massage is a salon in San Francisco that provides an unusual beauty treatment: face-slapping. The Thai masseuse named Tata claims to be improving your complexion as she smacks your cheeks and forehead with her hands. She also does “massage boxing,” in which she administers health-giving punches to your body with her fists. Is there a comparable service available where you live? I highly recommend it. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s the truth: You should be absolutely firm that you won’t tolerate whacks and wallops -- including the psychological kind -even if they are supposedly good for you.


MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

(June 21-July 22)


Now would be an excellent time to launch a new tradition or instigate a fresh trend or make a beautiful thing that will last for a thousand years. I’m talking about an amazing marvel or useful innovation or unique creation that will improve the lives of countless humans all over the planet for the next 40 generations. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a bit. Producing something that will last a thousand years is too ambitious. How about if you simply launch a new tradition or instigate a fresh trend or create a beautiful thing that will last for the rest of your long life -- an amazing marvel or useful innovation or unique creation that will continue to teach

(July 23-Aug. 22)


coming weeks will be an excellent time to try to fix or at least modulate your least attractive qualities.

Your patron saint for the next three months is surrealistic artist Salvador Dali. Regard him as your muse and role model. In fact, you might want to spout some of his famous declarations as if they were your own. Start with these: 1. “The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.” 2. “I do not take drugs; I am drugs.” 3. “Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature.” 4. “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.” APRIL FOOL! I lied. Salvador Dali is your patron saint, role model, and muse for only the next 14 days, not three months.



(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You know how Jesus could supposedly turn water into wine? Well, St. Brigit, a sixth-century Irish nun, was legendary for an even greater miracle. When visitors came to her monastery in Kildare, she changed her old bathwater into beer for them to drink. I think there’s a good chance you will develop that precise talent sometime soon. APRIL FOOL! I kind of lied. You won’t really possess St. Brigit’s supernatural power. However, you will have an uncanny ability to make transmutations that are almost as dramatic as changing bathwater to beer.


(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

To be in strict compliance with cosmic necessity, you should attend a party every day in the coming week. Dance ecstatically, make love abundantly, and expose yourself to previously unknown pleasures. Feast on a wide variety of food and drink that introduces you to novel tastes. Make sure you experience record levels of sensual enjoyment, nonstop excitement, and dynamic socializing. APRIL FOOL! I’m exaggerating, although just a little. Try doing a 70-percent version of what I advised.

CAPRICORN has a step-by-step guide to set up your home as a command center where you can pursue your plans for world domination. The article provides advice on how to build a surveillance system, encrypt your computer files, and prepare for black-outs and weather emergencies. Do it, Capricorn! Get the lowdown at http:// APRIL FOOL! I lied. You don’t really need to create a high-tech fortress. But you would be wise to make your home into more of an ultra-comfortable, super-inspiring sanctuary -- a place where you feel so safe and strong and smart that you will always have total power over yourself, and never feel driven to fulfill anyone else’s standards of success but your own.

The band Rush was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last May. Guitarist Alex Lifeson delivered an unusual acceptance speech. For the two minutes he spoke, he repeated one word endlessly: “blah.” “Blah-blah-blah,” he began. “Blah-blah-blah blah-blah blah-blah.” Many hand gestures and shifting vocal inflections accompanied his rap, always in support of variations on “blah-blah.” This is the spirit you should bring to all of your important conversations in the coming week. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the opposite is true. It’s crucial for you to speak very precisely and articulately in the coming week. Say exactly what you mean. Don’t rely on meaningless bullsh-- like “blah-blah.”




When a human embryo begins to develop in the womb, the very first body part that appears is -- can you guess? -- the anus. This scientific fact led the witty commentators at to declare that “Every human being starts out as an assh---.” They were making a joke, of course, hinting that every one of us has an unattractive quality or two that make us at least a little bit of a jerk. That’s the bad news, Scorpio. The good news is that you now have an unprecedented chance to transform the assh--- aspects of your personality. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You’re not an assh---, not even a little bit. But it is true that the

According to a survey by Public Policy Polling, four percent of the population believes that “shape-shifting reptilian people control our world by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies.” My own research suggests that 62 percent of those believers are Pisceans. Are you one? If so, now is a good time to intensify your fight against the shape-shifting reptilian people. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I strongly encourage you NOT to feed your paranoid delusions and fearful reveries. This should be a time when you bolster your positive fantasies, constructive visions, and inspiring dreams.

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The planetary omens suggest that you need to experience all possible flavors of Doritos corn chips. Here’s the problem: The place where you live offers only a limited range. That’s why I urge you to drop everything and travel to Japan, which is the world leader in Dorito variety. There you can sample coconut curry-flavored Doritos, along with fried chicken, corn soup, smoked bacon, tuna and mayonnaise, and many others. Buy your plane ticket now! APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you will benefit from communing with a wide variety of sensations and experiences and ideas in many areas of your life, not just Doritos.

(Feb. 19-March 20)

happenings | continued from 51 any affliction or illness. Second Saturday of the month, 10am-11am. Savannah Commons, 1 Peachtree Dr. Refreshments. Free to attend. Open to anyone i need of support for the caregiving they provide. . Dude's Day at Savannah Climbing Coop

Thursdays, 2 til 10 p.m. Savannah Climbing Coop 302 W Victory Dr, Savannah Every Thursday men climb for half price, $5. See website for info. Thursdays, 2 & 10 p.m. 912-495-8010. savannahclimbingcoop. com. Thursdays, 2 & 10 p.m Savannah Climbing CoOp, 302 W Victory Dr. Hiking & Biking at Skidaway Island State Park

Year round fitness opportunities. Walk or run the 1-mile Sandpiper Nature Trail (accessible) the additional 1-mile Avian Loop Trail, or 3-mile Big Ferry Trail. Bicycle and street strider rentals. Guided hikes scheduled. $5 parking. Open daily 7am10pm. Call or see website. . 912-598-2300. Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy. Insanity Workout Group Class

INSANITY turns old-school interval training on its head. Work flat out in 3 to 5-min blocks, and take breaks only long enough to gulp some air and get right back to work. It's called Max Interval Training, because it keeps your body working at maximum capacity through your entire workout. $10 or $80 for 10 fitness classes Saturdays, 11 a.m. 912.312.3549. Saturdays, 11 a.m Salon de Baile Dance Studio, 7064 Hodgson Memorial Drive. Israeli Krav Maga Self-Defense Classes

A system of self-defense techniques based on several martial arts. The official fighting system of the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF). Custom Fit offers individual and small group training and intensive workshops. . 912-441-4891. Kung Fu School: Ving Tsun

Ving Tsun (Wing Chun) is the world's fastest growing martial arts style. Uses angles and leverage to tunr an attacker's strength against him. Call for info on free trial classes. Drop ins welcome. 11202 White Bluff Rd. . 912-429-9241. Mommy and Baby Yoga

Mondays. Call for times and fees or see website. . 912-232-2994. savannahyoga. com. Savannah Yoga Center, 1321 Bull St. Pilates Classes

Daily classes for all skill levels including beginners. Private and semi-private classes by appointment. Carol Daly-Wilder, certified instructor. Call or see website for info. . 912-238-0018. savannahpilates. com. Momentum Pilates Studio, 8413 Rerguson Ave. Pregnancy Yoga

series of 6-week classes. Thursdays. A mindful approach to pregnancy, labor and delivery. Instructor Ann Carroll. $120. Call or email for info. . 912-704-7650. ann@ Savannah Yoga Center, 1321 Bull St. continues on p. 53

Pregnancy Yoga Workshop

This two hour workshop, held quarterly at SYC Pooler, is designed for mamas-to-be who are in the second and third trimesters. It is a nurturing class that will support and empower the pregnant women while helping them bond with their babies. The class will utilize gentle hatha yoga postures, mudras, breathing practices, visualization and deep relaxation—all designed to assist women on this journey into motherhood. Cost: $35 Early bird / $40 Day of Sat., March 29, 1 p.m. (912) 704-7650. Sat., March 29, 1 p.m Savannah Yoga Center Pooler, 111 Canal Street. Qigong Classes

Qigong exercises contribute to a healthier and longer life. Classes offer a time to learn the exercises and perform them in a group setting. Class length averages 60 min. Any level of practice is welcome. $15 . Anahata Healing Arts Center, 2424 Drayton St. Renagade Workout

Free fitness workout, every Saturday, 9:00 am at Lake Mayer Park. For women only. Offered by The Fit Lab. Information: 912376-0219 . Lake Mayer, 1850 E. Montgomery Crossroads. Richmond Hill Roadies Running Club

A chartered running club of the Road Runners Association of America. Monthly training sessions and seminars. Weekly runs. Kathy Ackerman, 912-756-5865, or Billy Tomlinson, 912-596-5965. . Ladies Day at Savannah Climbing Coop

Wednesdays, 2 til 10 p.m. Savannah Climbing Coop 302 W Victory Dr, Savannah Every Wednesday women climb for half price, $5. See website for info. . 912-4958010. Savannah Disc Golf

Weekly events (entry $5) Friday Night Flights: Fridays, 5pm. Luck of the Draw Doubles: Saturdays, 10am. Handicapped League: Saturdays, 1pm. Singles at the Sarge: Sundays, 10am. All skill levels welcome. Instruction available. See website or email for info. . savannahdiscgolf@gmail. com. Savannah Striders Running and Walking Club

With a one-year, $10 membership,free training programs for beginners (walkers and runners) and experienced athletes. Fun runs. Advice from mentors. Monthly meetings with quality speakers. Frequent social events. Sign up online or look for the Savannah Striders Facebook page. . Tai Chi Lessons in Forsyth Park

Tuesdays, 9am-10am. $10. North End of Forsyth Park. Email for info. . Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St. Turbo Kick Cardio Workout

Lose calories while dancing and kick-boxing. No experience or equipment needed. Tues. and Thurs. 6pm, Fitness on Broughton, 1 E. Broughton Wed. 6pm Lake Mayer Community Center, 1850 E. Montgomery Crossroads. $5 . 586-822-1021. facebook. com/turbokicksavannah. Yoga for Cancer Patients and Survivors

Free for people with cancer and cancer survivors. 6:30pm Tuesdays. 12:45pm

Thursdays. Fitness One, 3rd floor of the Center for Advanced Medicine at Memorial. Call for info. . 912-350-9031. Memorial Health University Medical Center, 4700 Waters Ave. Zumba and Zumba/Toning with Mai

Fall/Winter schedule. Mondays at 8:30AM Zumba/Toning Lake Mayer Community Center 1850 E. Montgomery Crossroads $5.00/class Mondays/Wednesdays at 6:00PM Zumba/Toning Windsor Forest Elementary Gym 308 Briarcliff Circle $5.00/class Tuesdays/Thursdays 10:00AM Zumba/Toning Curves @ Savannah Mall (912) 921-1771 14045 Abercorn St #1610 31419 $5.00/class (Non-Members) Tuesdays @ 5:30PM Zumba St. Paul CME Social Hall (912) 233-2849 123 Brady St (at Barnard St) 31401 $3.00/class (NonMembers) Wednesdays @ 9:30AM Zumba/ Toning Frank Murray Community Center (912) 898-3320 160 Wilmington Is Rd 31414 $3.00/class Bring water, proper shoes and attire. . 912-604-9890. Zumba Fitness (R) with April

Mondays at 5:30pm, Thursdays at 6:30pm. Nonstop Fitness in Sandfly, 8511 Ferguson Ave. $5 for nonmenbers. call for info. . 912349-4902. Food Events

Forsyth Farmers Market

Local and regional produce, honey, meat, dairy, pasta, baked goods and other delights. Rain or shine. Free to attend. Items for sale. 912-484-0279. Forsyth Park, 501 Whitaker St. Honey Tasting and Body Care Samples + Store Tour

Daily store tour, honey tasting, and body care. FREE Come to the WILMINGTON ISLAND store and see the bees behind our observation hive glass. FREE MondaysFridays, 10 a.m. 912-234-0688. tildsley@ Mondays-Fridays, 10 a.m Savannah Bee Company, Wilmington Island, 211 Johnny Mercer Blvd. Midtown Miracle Community Garden Ribbon Cutting

Mayor Edna Jackson cuts the ribbon on this Morningstar Arts community project. with greetings from Alderwoman Mary Ellen Sprague, Carol Moon, City of Savannah Garden Coordinator and Chef Floyd Jackson of Second Harvest. Bring produce and protein products for Second Harvest. Lite reception by Jamie Deen of the Lady & Sons. Park at the JEA. MStarArts@gmail. com. Midtown Miracle Community Garden, Abercorn and E 64th Street.



Alcoholics Anonymous

For people who want or need to stop drinking, AA can help. Meetings daily throughout the Savannah area. Free to attend or join. Check website for meeting days/times, or call 24 hours a day. . 912-356-3688. Armstrong Prescription Drug Drop-Off

Armstrong Atlantic State Univ. hosts a permanent drop box for disposing of unused prescription drugs and over the counter medication. In the lobby of the University Police building on campus. Open to the public 24 hours/day, year round. Confidential. All items collected are destroyed by the Drug Enforcement Administration. . 912-344-3333. Armstrong Atlantic State University, 11935 Abercorn St. Bariatric Surgery Information Session

Information on bariatric surgery and the program at Memorial Health Bariatrics. Learn surgical procedures offered, support and education programs involved, and how bariatric surgery can affect patients' lives. Call or see website for info. Free to attend. Hoskins Center at Memorial. . 912-3503438. Memorial Health University Medical Center, 4700 Waters Ave. Free Hearing and Speech Screening

Hearing: Thursdays, 9am-11am. Speech: First Thursdays,. Call or see website for times. . 912-355-4601. Savannah Speech and Hearing Center, 1206 E 66th St. Free HIV Testing at Chatham County Health Dept.

Free walk-in HIV testing. 8am-4pm Mon.Fri. No appointment needed. Test results in 20 minutes. Follow-up visit and counseling will be set up for anyone testing positive. Call for info. . 912-644-5217. Chatham County Health Dept., 1395 Eisenhower Dr. Health Care for Uninsured People

Open for primary care for uninsured residents of Chatham County. Mon.-Fri., 8:30am-3:30pm. Call for info or appointment. . 912-443-9409. St. Joseph's/ Candler--St. Mary's Health Center, 1302 Drayton St. Health Insurance Marketplace Enrollment Assistance

Enroll in the new health care plan between Oct. 1, 2013 and March 31, 2014. Free, in-person guidance and counseling for enrolling in the new health plan can be done Prepare Sunday Suppers at Union Mission by appointment at: Curtis V. Cooper Health Local organizations are invited to sign up Clinic, 912-527-1115; and J.C. Lewis to prepare Sunday Supper for people who Health Clinic, 912-721-6726. Or general are homeless and live at Union Mission's information at CVS, Kroger, Rite-Aid, Walshelters for homeless people. Groups must greens, or Walmart pharmacies. 912-651sign up in advance and bring/prepare a 7730. Hypnobirthing meal, beginning at 2pm on Sundays. Call Teaches mother and birth partner to for information. . 912-236-7423. Southbound Brewing Co. Tours & Tastings use her natural instincts, trust her body, A few tastes of the newest local brews. release emotions and facilitate relaxation Tours are first come, first serve. Live during labor and delivery. Five class series music on Saturdays. $10 for souvenir pint on Monday evenings, 6pm. Location: 100 glass and 6 tasting tickets. 21+ only. info@ Riverview Dr. $300/group sessions. $600/ Southbound private sessions. Call or email for info and Brewing Company, 107 East Lathrop Ave. reservations. . 912-704-7650. carroll362@

Hypnosis, Guided Imagery and Relaxation Therapy

Helps everyday ordinary people with everyday ordinary problems: smoking, weight loss, phobias, fears, ptsd, life coaching. Caring, qualified professional help. See website or call for info. . 912-927-3432. La Leche League of Savannah

A breast feeding support group for new/ expectant monthers. Meeting/gathering first Thursdays, 10am. Call or see website for location and other info. . 912-897-9544. Living Smart Fitness Club

An exercise program encouraging healthy lifestyle changes. Mon. & Wed. 6pm7:15pm Hip Hop low impact aerobics at Delaware Center. Tues. 5:30-7:00 Zumba at St. Joseph's Candler African American Resource Center. (Program sponsors.) . 912-447-6605. Planned Parenthood Hotline

First Line is a statewide hotline for women seeking information on health services. Open 7pm-11pm nightly. . 800-264-7154. Psychic Shrink Indiegogo event

If you are interested in Holistic healing, acupuncture, trauma release, EMDR, Energy Medicine, Chakras, Reiki, Meridians/ Elements, Chinese Medicine - you will love my project. Please help me get my work to a larger audience. Advanced certified Energy medicine practitioner, Intuitive, Ellen Farrell, MA, EEM-AP whom Donna Eden called "an amazing seer!" https://www. psychic-shrink/x/6371707 varies 912-2474263. Downtown Savannah, downtown. Savannah CPR Initiative

An initiative by the City of Savannah to train 6,000 Savannahians in CPR by year's end. The City will train 1,000 Savannahians in CPR this year. Each of these trainees will in turn pledge to train at least five other individuals, bringing to 6,000 the total number of Savannahians trained in CPR. The hope is that "Savannah's 6,000" will vastly improve our community's ability to respond to sudden cardiac emergencies, doubling our survival rate for witnessed out-of-hospital cardiac arrests. Call for continues on p. 54

Crossword Answers

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Happenings | continued from previous page


Happenings | continued from previous page info. . 912-651-6410.

Diamond Cswy.


Dolphin Project's Education Outreach Program is available to speak at schools, clubs, organizations. A powerpoint presentation with sound and video about estuarine dolphins and their environment. Age/ grade appropriate programs and handouts. See website for info. . thedolphinproject. org.

First City Network Board Meeting

First Monday, 6:30pm, at FCN office, 307 E. Harris St. 2nd floor. Call or see website for info. . 912-236-CITY. Gay AA Meeting

True Colors Group of Alcoholics Anonymous, a gay and lesbian AA meeting that welcomes all alcoholics, meets Thursdays and Sundays, 7:30pm, at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 311 E. Harris, 2nd floor. New location effective 11/2012. . Georgia Equality Savannah

Local chapter of Georgia's largest gay rights group. 104 W. 38th St. 912-547-6263. . Savannah Pride, Inc.

Organizes the annual Savannah Pride Festival and helps promote the well-being of the LGBT community in the South. Mission: unity through diversity and social awareness. Second Tuesday/month, 7pm, at FCN office, 307 E. Harris St., 2nd floor. . 912-288-7863. Stand Out Youth

A gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth organization. Meets Fridays, 7pm, FCN office, 307 E. Harris St. Call, email or see website for info. . 912-657-1966. What Makes a Family

A children's therapy group for children of GLBT parents. Ages 10 to 18. Meets twice a month. Call for info. . 912-352-2611. Literary Events

Flannery O’Connor Parade, Picnic and Street Fair

Celebrate the late writer, Flannery O’Connor’s birthday. Walk in the parade that starts at 3pm and finishes up with birthday cake. Live music by Andrew Hartzel, Anna Chandler and other ambling minstrels. Costumes inspired by Flannery O’Connor characters, settings or the author’s life are optional. Bring your own picnic and enjoy games and contests. Get your photo taken with a poet dressed like a gorilla, make your own parade sign with art materials donated by Blick and meet live chickens. Shop for vintage items, funky accouterments and parade accessories from local vendors including Civvies. Free and open to the public. 912.233.6014. Lafayette Square, Abercorn and East Macon Streets. Nature and Environment

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014

Avian Loop Hike at Skidaway

Take the trail less traveled and hike the avian loop with a park ranger. Trail will be around 2 miles. $5 parking fee. Annual passes available. (912)598-2300. SkidawayIsland. Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy. Big Ferry Guided Hike at Skidaway State Park

A two-to-three mile hike through a maritime forest, learning early history of Skidaway. Meet at the Big Ferry Trail Head. $5 parking fee. (912)598-2300. gastateparks. org/SkidawayIsland. 54 skidaway/. Skidaway Island State Park, 52

Dolphin Project

Morning Bird Watch on Skidaway Island

Learn the basics about local bird varieties as they visit Skidaway Island State Park's feeding stations. $5 parking fee. Annual passes available. (912)598-2300. gastateparks. org/info/skidaway/. Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy.

of the Lord." (Prov. 21:1) . 912-663-8728. georgia.

Benefit for Project Kenya and the Bridge Foundation, high-impact mission efforts making a real difference in the lives of children. This is a family-friendly free concert open to the public. Optional donations will be accepted to support the event's highlighted mission projects. FREE with optional donations accepted 912-6631520. City Church, 125 Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd.

Read the Bible in One Year

Benefit Concert with Bellarive/Soulfire Revolution/Reckless Mercy

A Buddhist Meditation Center

Welcoming all lineages and spiritual traditions. Newcomers to meditation welcome. Recycling Fundraiser for Economic Opportunity Daily meditation, study groups and classes. Authority Sunday includes a talk given by resident Support EOA through the FundingFactory priest on Buddhist philosophy and how it Recycling Program. Recycle empty carrelates to daily life. The center is available tridges, cell phones, small electronics, lap- for individual and group retreats, weddings tops, to EOA for recycling. They will receive and funerals. Visit technology products and cash. Businesses for schedule and see us on Facebook. Soto may also recycle items on behalf of EOA Zen lineage, resident Priest Un Shin Cindy for credit. Drop off at EOA, 681 W. AnderBeach Sensei. 912-427-7265 . The Savanson St. See website, email or call for info. . nah Zen Center, 111 E. 34th St. Catholic Singles 912-238-2960 x126. A group of Catholic singles age 30-50 meet Skidaway Island Bird Hike frequently for fun, fellowship and service. Join Camphost Nell for an informative Send email or check website to receive anmorning bird hike. Bring binoculars or nouncements of activities and to suggest borrow limited pairs from the museum. activities for the group. . familylife@diosav. $5 parking fee. Annual passes available. org. 912-598-2300. Center for Spiritual Living--Savannah All are invited to this Science of Mind Island. community. Recognizing the presence and Skidaway Island State Park, 52 Diamond power of God within, and believing that this Cswy. Tree ID Hike presence is in everything in the universe, A one-mile hike with a ranger to learn how unifying all of life. Welcoming all on their to identify some common trees found on spiritual pathway. Celebration: Sunday Skidaway Island and in Savannah. $5 park- mornings. Location: Bonaventure Chapel, ing fee. Annual passes available. (912)598- 2520 Bonaventure Road. Meditation at 2300. 10:30am Service at 11:00am Childcare Skidaway available in the "Funday School" cslsavanIsland State Park, 52 Diamond Cswy. Wilderness Southeast

A variety of programs each month including guided trips with naturalists. Canoe trips, hikes. Mission: develop appreciation, understanding, stewardship, and enjoyment of the natural world. Call or see website for info. . 912-236-8115.

Christmas Psychic Reading Madness Sale

Religious & Spiritual

December Madness Sale!!!!!!! $15 for 20 minute phone readings! payable at PayPal or go to website and check out Christmas monthly Specials Love and Light Low Country Psychic of Savannah ~Kelly Spurlock 15.00 Mondays-Sundays. 9125592169. Mondays-Sundays Ellis Square.

How is it possible to apply the ancient art of Buddhist meditation to today’s hectic and busy modern world? Join us to learn how to solve your problems and develop a peaceful mind by applying Buddha’s classic advice to daily life. Everyone is welcome to attend, no previous experience necessary. Drop in for any class. $10 or $5 seniors/ students (912) 358-0228. meditationinsouthcarolina.og. Unity Church of Savannah, 2320 Sunset Blvd.

Columba House is an inclusive, welcoming hospitality space dedicated to building and sustaining a community of faith committed to social justice with the city's young adults, college students, and creative demographic. Tuesday evenings 6:30-8pm, includes dinner and a program focused on justice. All are welcome. Free and open to the public. Tuesdays, 6:30-8 p.m. 912228-9425. Tuesdays, 6:30-8 p.m Columba House, 34th Street between Abercorn and Lincoln Streets.

Art of Peaceful Living

Band of Sisters Prayer Group

All women are invited. Second Tuesdays, 7:30am-8:30am. Fellowship Assembly, 5224 Augusta Rd. Email or call Jeanne Seaver or see website for info. "The king's heart is like channels of water in the hands

Columba House

Guided Silent Prayer

Acoustical songs, 30 minutes of guided silent prayer, and minutes to receive prayer or remain in silence. Wednesdays, 6:45-8:00pm at Vineyard Church, 615 Montgomery St. See website for info. .

A New Church in the City, For the City

Gather on Sundays at 10:30am. Like the Facebook page "Savannah Church Plant." . Bryson Hall, 5 E. Perry St. A Bible book club for those wanting to read the Bible in one year. Open to all. Book club format, not a traditional Bible study. All welcome, regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation, religion. Thurs. 6:00pm-7:00pm. Call for info. . 912-2335354. Holy Spirit Lutheran Church, 622 E. 37th Street. Savannah Friends Meeting (Quakers)

Un-programmed worship. 11am Sundays, third floor of Trinity United Methodist Church. Call or email for info. All are welcome. . 912-308-8286. savbranart@gmail. com. Trinity United Methodist Church, 225 West President St. Savannah Reiki Share

During shares, participants take turns giving and receiving universal life force energy via Reiki and other healing modalities. Present at the shares are usually no less than 2 Reiki Masters. Come share with us on the 1st and 3rd Thursday of every month at the Sweet Water Spa in downtown Savannah. Sign up at Savannah Reiki Share or Reiki by Appointment on Facebook. Free , 7 p.m. 440-371-5209. , 7 p.m Sweet Water Spa, 148 Abercorn Street. Service of Compline

A chanted service by candlelight held every Sunday night at 9pm. "Say goodnight to God." Presented by Christ Church Anglican. . Independent Presbyterian Church, Bull Street and Oglethorpe Ave. Tapestry Church

A church for all people! We don't care what you are wearing, just that you are here. From the moment you walk in until the moment you leave, Tapestry is committed to delivering a creative, challenging, straight forward, and honest message about the role of biblical principles in your life. Come experience an environment that helps you connect with God and discover his incredible purpose for your life. Join us every Sunday morning 10AM at the Habersham YMCA. YMCA (Habersham Branch), 6400 Habersham St. Theology on Tap

Meets on the third Monday, 8:30pm10:30pm. Like the Facebook page: Theology on Tap Downtown Savannah. . The Distillery, 416 W. Liberty St. Unitarian Universalist Church of Savannah

Liberal religious community where people with different beliefs gather as one faith. Sundays, 11am. Email, call or see website for info. . 912-234-0980. Unitarian Universalist Church of Savannah, 313 Harris St. Unity Church of Savannah

Sunday Celebration services 9:15am and 11am. Children's Church and childcare 11am. Thursday noon prayer service. 912-355-4704. Unity Church of Savannah, 2320 Sunset Blvd.

buy . sell . connect | Call call231-0250 238-2040 for business Businessrates rates| place your classified ad online for free at

Announcements For Your Information

LANDINGS CLEANING GROUP INC. is seeking energetic individuals for a daytime position. Hours are generally Monday-Friday 8:00AM to 5:00PM. Experience and transportation required. Background and drug test will be administered. To apply, please contact Dianne, (912)598-7703; At least two references are required to apply.

FINE ART NUDES Savannah photographer, Jack Wegener introduced artistic nude photography regionally in 1975. Mr.Wegener creates hand-colored & black-and-white photographs using film. Women wanted as models. WANTED: Commercial Fence Installer. 5yrs. experience. Driver’s license and TWIC card a must. Weekly salary base or Seasonal LOST IPAD, w/grey cover @ day wage. 912-433-2540 Savannah Airport on March 2nd. Please call (843) 987-0162, desperate for photos. Real Estate


HOT LOCAL SINGLES Browse & Reply FREE! Straight 912-344-9500 Gay or Bi 912-344-9494 Use FREE Code 3244, 18+

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For Rent

Items for Sale General Merchandise KILL ROACHES!!

Buy Harris Roach Tablets. Eliminate Roaches Guaranteed. Available at ACE, Tillman, and Maycrest Hardware, The Home Depot,

Jobs Help Wanted Accountant P/T Small real estate co. needs PT Accountant 10 to 15 hrs. per week. Must know QuickBooks, Word & Excel. Must have references and clean background check. $15.00 per hour. Flex hours, but must be available M-F 10-5. No weekends or nights. Email resume to: DUTCHTOWN CHILDREN’S CENTER, 911 Dutchtown Road, is Seeking Full-time Caregivers. Must be willing to take CDA courses. Background Check. Call 912-925-4566.

Let Us Help You

Make MoneY!

Call 912-721-4350 To Place Your Classified Ad!

FOR RENT •1102 E.33rd Street: Recently renovated 2BR Apt. Hardwood floors, CH&A, stove, refrigerator, dishwasher, washer/dryer, off-street parking. $700+Sec. •1019 Terrace: Newly renovated 3BR house, hardwood floors, CH&A, stove, refrigerator $800+Sec. •227 Glass St. 2BR house, gas heat $400+Sec. •109A W. 41st St. 2BR, lower apt. CH&A, kitchen range $500+Sec. •1021 W. 41St: 3BR/1BA House, LR, DR, kitchen, appliances, CH&A $700+Sec. Call Lester @ 912-313-8261

Week at a Glance Looking to plan to fill your week with fun stuff? Then read Week At A Glance to find out about the most interesting events occurring in Savannah.

ads received by 5pm friday will appear in the Wednesday issue of the next week

1029 CORNWALL STREET 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bath. Appliances included. Available Now. $575/month, $575/deposit. 912-508-2901 MARCH *NO DEPOSIT SPECIALS* SAVE YOUR $$$$$ *Credit Issues, Prior Evictions, Bankruptcies may still apply *Weekly & Bi-Weekly Payment Options Available for Apts. Videos of properties B Net Management Inc. on Facebook 801 West 39th Street: 3BR/1BA House, LR, DR, Hardwood floors, Laundry room, Kitchen, Fenced yard $725/month. 807-809 Paulsen Street: 2BR/1BA Apt. Appliances, central heat/air, carpet & hardwood floors $625/ month. 503-505 West 42nd Street: 2BR/1BA Apt. Appliances, central heat/air, washer/dryer hookup, hardwood floors, carpet $625/month. Ocho Rios Villa Apts. Off Westlake Ave. 2 & 3BR, 1 Bath Apts. Newly Renovated, hardwood floors,carpet, ceiling fans, appliances, central heat/air, washer/dryer hookups. $575$695/month, utilities may be added to rent if requested. 912-844-3974 Mon-Sat 10am-5pm www. *For Qualified Applicants* WE ACCEPT SECTION 8

NEWLY RENOVATED HOME: 1214 East 55th Street. 4BR/2BA, new appliances, fenced yard. No pets. $995/month; Security deposit required. Available April 15th. Call 912-323-2541

1319 EAST 69TH ST. 3BR, 1 Bath, OCEAN FRONT CONDO Central heat, fireplace, fenced 2BR, 2BA completely furnished. yard, carport and quiet area. $990.00 Weekly & Multi week $825/month. 912-224-9377 discount. 912-897-6037 or 2208 EAST 56TH ST. Very small 2BR, 1 Bath. Fenced yard, living room, kitchen. Good neighbors. REDUCED RENT & $650/month. 912-224-9377 DEPOSIT! 726 EAST ANDERSON: 3BR/1BA, all appliances, washer/dryer, fenced yard. On busline. Section 8 Welcome. Pets OK. $900/ month, $500/dep. Call 912667-1860

1303 E. 66th Street. 2BR/2BA, W/D conn. $695/ month, $400/deposit.

APARTMENT FOR RENT, 1211 E. 53RD ST. 2BR/1BA, CH/A, Furnished kitchen. $525/mo, plus deposit. (912) 308-0957

207 EDGEWATER RD. Southside near Oglethorpe Mall. 2BR/2BA $750/mo., $500/dep.

APARTMENTS FOR RENT WEEKLY PAYMENTS 2 Bedroom Apts./1 Bath, Newly remodeled apts. LVRM, dining, ceiling fans each room, central heat/ air, kitchen w/appliances, washer/dryer hookup. Lights & water included. NO CREDIT CHECK REQUIRED; EVICTIONS OK. $200-$235/ weekly. Biweekly & Monthly rates available. First Week Deposit Required. Call 912319-4182, M-Sat 10am-6pm. BROCKINGTON SQUARE Condos: 310 Tibet Ave. 2BR/2BA,Gated Community. Furnished kitchen, LR/DR combined, laundry room. Section 8 Welcome. Great Location. $900/month, $900/ deposit. 912-224-6285

SPECIAL! 11515 White Bluff Rd. 1BR/1BA, all electric, equipped kitchen, W/D connection. Convenient to Armstrong College. $575/ month, $400/deposit.

DAVIS RENTALS 310 EAST MONTGOMERY X-ROADS, 912-354-4011 OR 656-5372 RENT OR RENT-TO-OWN: Remodeled mobile homes, 3BR/2BA, in Garden City mobile home park. Low down affordable payments. Credit check approval. Call Gwen, Manager, at 912-9647675 SOUTHSIDE •1BR Apts, washer/dryer included. $25 for water, trash included, $625/month. •2BR/1.5BA Townhouse Apt, total electric, w/washer & dryer $675. 912-927-3278 or 912-356-5656

Room for Rent

DUPLEX: 1114 E.54TH STREET. 2BR/1BA $550/month plus $550/ deposit. One block off Waters Ave. Close to Daffin Park. Call 912-335*730 E. 34th: 3BR/1BA $625 3211 *2410 Alabama: 2BR/1BA $675 *1104 E. 31st: 3BR/1BA Apt. $675 Days/Nights/Weekends. Several Rental & Rent-To-Own FURNISHED EFFICIENCY: 1510 Properties. GUARANTEED Lincoln Street. $165/week plus FINANCING. deposit. Includes microwave, LARGE VICTORIAN with windows STAY MANAGEMENT 352-7829 refrigerator, central heat & air & on two sides, across from library, utilities! Call 912.231.0240 nicely furnished, all utilities. TV/ Find Out What’s Going On Happenings cable/internet, washer/dryer, Classes,Clubs, Workshops, $140/week. $504/month. 912In The Coastal Empire! Volunteer opportunities, eVents 231-9464 Other apts. avail. ConneCtSavannah.Com

ROOMS FOR RENT $75 Move-In Special Today!! Clean, furnished, large. Busline, central heat/air, utilities. $100$130 weekly. Rooms w/bathroom $145. Call 912-289-0410. $150-$160/WEEKLY. Newly painted, new carpet, Utilities included (Unfurnished/furnished rms) water included, kitchen, cable, internet connections, washer/dryer included. If interested, please call Ms. Hodges 912- 272-1416


Includes stove, refrigerator, private bath. Furnished! $180/ week. Call 912-844-5995. FURNISHED APTS. $165/WK. Private bath and kitchen, cable, utilities, washer furnished. AC & heat, bus stop on property. No deposit required. Completely safe, manager on property. Contact Linda, 690-9097, Jack, 342-3840 or Cody, 695-7889 NICE ROOM FOR RENT: No drugs. No smoking. Call 912-844-8716 SPACIOUS ROOMS FOR RENT Newly renovated on busline. 2 blocks from Downtown Kroger,3 blocks from Historic Forsyth Park. $150/week with No deposit. 8445995

Roommate Wanted ROOMMATE WANTED: Ardsley Park area. $450 plus partial utilities. Call Beverly, 912-3984301

Automotive Cars/Trucks/Vans FENDER BENDER ?? Paint & Body Work. Reasonably Priced. Insurance Claims. We buy wrecks. Call 912-355-5932.

Soundboard What bands are playing and Where? CheCk the ‘board to find out! ConneCtSavannah.Com

MAR 26-APR 1, 2014



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