issue 003: Boiling Point

Dear Reader,

I hope this message finds you well. YouhavereachedBoilingPoint,aplacewhereyouareabletotransform.

As we start a new year and a new issue, I look forward to seeing what is to come for Confessions Magazine, and I hope that this issue will make navigating a new year easier, as we tackle connections, nature, and mindfulness. What’s your new year’s resolution? We’ll help, 1. 2. 3. With love, Reema Alheraiqi. P.S. happy new year's eve!

Breathe deeply while remaining still. What is it that you long for most, as you tune into your heart?

For a brief moment, close your eyes and think of your "highest self." What does this individual gracefully and effortlessly embody? What areas do they excel in? How would you want to spend your final year on Earth, if this year were it?

empathy's sabbatical

It begins with you no longer innately executing Newton’s third law, but setting up a facade trying to monotonously hypothesize the appropriate reaction you should have to this action.

Persists with your internal human manual pulling the plug on your frail empathy out of the primitive need to self-preserve.

By Leena Shagrani

Concludes with a regression to an automated, apathetic psyche that decides to sever the fortified cable as a precaution, rendering any attempt at a recovery laughable.

But when the last vestige of your empathy emerges, it gapes in horror at all the connections you've severed in your mechanical state and clings beseechingly to the annihilation your former self engendered while pleading for a paradoxical recovery.

Photo by Mathias Reding

Artist Milan Storfjell, has got the remarkable chance to share her art pieces with millions of people because of her large following on TikTok, @eclecticwreck. “Forthisreason,Iwillalwayspridemyselfon mymostcontroversialvideos.Theangerprovokedbyartisjustasvalid asanyotheremotionalresponsetiedtotheviewer’sexperience.ThehateI receiveonlydrivesmefurtherpastthatunspokenthresholdthat separatestrueartfromaesthetics.”

Milan's art takes several forms; she never confines her artistic development to a particular medium. She creates garments inspired by Helmut Lang's exquisite yet rowdy silhouettes from his 2018 spring runway collection, Yohji Yamamoto's timeless designs, and Maison Margiela's unwavering determination to revolutionize fashion. Milan began dabbling in stitching because she adores reclaiming an underestimated art form that is perceived as feminine and domestic, “There’ssomethingsobeautifullytediousabout embroideryandI’dlikeittobeseenasthedivinefemininemediumitis.”

But most importantly, her infamous flower-centered makeup looks on TikTok, “WhattrulydrawspeopleinistheunnervingatmosphereI createbetweenthedelicatelookoffragileflowersagainstskin, contrastingthemelodramaticexpressionsIwear.Thisisalltiedtogether withhauntinglyserenestringquartets. Iembracethefemaleexperience withsuchanintenseandrawdevotion,itwillalwaysseepitswayintomy art.Mypersonaldefinitionoffemininityisever-changing,themalegaze isfartoolimitingtosuithowIexpressmyidentity.Myperceptionis knownonlytomyself,andcanonlybecommunicatedthroughmy artwork.”

Her idea middle of a restaurant, a table, she the glas symmetrica on my left fo the second t table,Iliftit and I feel my I manage composure. W high, I mak kitchen when this indescr have never feminine as moment. T strengthtoli could, my deliberate mettle of balance I po this powerfu inspired my looks.”

Milan challenges others' expectations by shooting photos of herself that aim and shoot these preconceptions. “A portrait of my true self: my connection to femininity, to nature, to myself. Nature is a divine feminine presence in its own right, I feel it when the ocean caresses my skin and when the forest floor ushers me close. Though, nature isn’t always appealing, nor is true femininity. You can’t have flowers without worms.Preferringbutterfliesovermothsisjustimposingthesestandards

I fight onto nature. Hence, my art showcases beauty in the gritty.” She continued to work against them in her octopus-centered shoot, “[I] inadvertently found myself in a sort of social experiment. I recognize the privilegesthatcomewithbeingattractiveandyoung.Irecognizethatthe videos of me in a full face of makeup will always be far more likely to succeed than those that embrace me for what I am. I recognize that most willgrimaceatthethoughtofdirtunderfingernails,arottingcarcass,or a dead octopus on the face of a girl. A girl who forgot to do her skincare routine this morning. By imposing these ideas of beauty, these ideas of femininity, and these ideas of art onto others, we are limiting our collective potential to view something extraordinary. The potential to loveeverypartofsomething.Thepotentialtoloveeverypartofsomeone. Thepotentialtoloveeverypartofyourself."

B y A n y a T h o m p s o n ‘Growing Pains’

Anya, a California-based artist, currently pursuing BA degrees in both Studio Arts, with a painting concentration, and Art History, with a focus on Renaissance-Baroque art. Anya finds it fun working in mixed media, because of its limitless possibilities and diversity of mediums, “mixed media lets my creativity ‘bounce around’ a little bit andnotgetboring.IwillprettymuchuseanythingIcangetmyhandson to make an art piece - i.e. moss, fake flowers, twine, buttons, and jewels. I have OCD, Depression, and SPD - Sensory Processing Disorder, so a good chunk of my time I'm having some type of anxiety or stress that manifests itselfintointrusivethoughts.MostofmyartiswhatIliketocall‘realistic surrealism’ because I'm trying to convey these intrusive thoughts in a visual,realisticway.”

Anya has created three pieces relating to a human’s connection to nature, “These pieces specifically are about the ‘uncomfortable’ and the growth from the pain that the uncomfortability brings. 'From my rotting body...' was a visual thought I actually had while listening to a Grimes song ‘Delete Forever’. While I have never dealt with drug addiction issues myself, I have thought about acts of self-harm to take the pain away (the open wounds). The flowers that grow from them are to show my growth fromthatpain,butthatthepainneverreallyleaves. The meaning is similar to ‘Growing Pains’ - as I had suicidal ideation growing up as a teenager and was first being diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as being stuck in the middle of my parent's divorce. When it would all get too much, my mind would fall into that suicidal ideation, but looking back on it now, I see my growth from the painthatIwasin." 'From my rotting body...'

Anya's obsession with the concept of growth—how things develop and why they grow is essentially what motivates the incorporation of nature into her paintings. “I see the human form as another part of nature, especially in death, we follow the life cycle and become reintegrated back into nature. From death and destruction comes beauty and growth, and the dichotomy between those two spheres of naturelivingbeingsandtheflora/faunaiswhereIseethemostbeauty. The moss and the leaves add not only a visual element that satisfies our brain'sneedfortexture,butitfeedsbackintothatideaof‘Growth’andthe connection to the natural world. It's almost like a post-apocalyptic landscape where there is moss growing up the sides and almost consuming old architecture, making it part of the environment. I essentially see humans as the architecture [of] the moss or ‘nature.’ If we werestationarycreatures,lookatthebeautythatwewouldcreatewiththe world around us. I know that sounds super weird and twisted but hey, that'smymindforyou.”

'growth'

By Anya Thompson

Madeline Menkes is a painter and sculptor from Baltimore, Maryland. She has lived in Baltimore her whole life but is currently in her junior year at the Rhode Island School of Design. Madeline had been creating art professionally since high school, though, art was not as significant in her life as it is now. “Iwantedtobeavet, or a zoologist, someone who worked with animals. Science was my big thing in middle school, and I am trying to still maintain that part of my education despitebeingatartschoolwherethatisn't a really common thought process. I still love animals and the outdoors, and enjoy hiking, camping, and rock climbing! (although I usually climb in a gym, it's easier in the city). Her inspiration often stems from family, “I have a twin brotherwhoshowsupinalotofmywork, and my family is extremely important to me, cliche I know, but it's true! They inspire a lot of the work I do and have been my biggest supporters through this whole wacky process of finding myself as anartist.”

Madeline's painting, ‘Uncanny’ (30"x30" oil on canvas), is one that captures the act of being self-critical, “This painting was made to emulate the feeling I and many others experience when looking in a mirror for too long. After studying my face for too long, picking and touching at my skin, my face becomes more and more recognizable, not noticeably changing to the outside eye, but becoming uncanny to myself. This experience is felt by many others that struggle with their self-image and how they are perceived, and I thought I should capture this feeling andrepurposeitintoartwork.”

' S t r a w b e r r y s h o r t c a k e '

B y M a d e l i n e M e n k e s

Additionally, her painting ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ (12"x24" oil on panel) depicts forgotten childhood memories. “This painting was made as a part of a series of projects where I investigated childhood photos. I reclaimed photos from moments I don't remember in the hope [they]couldgivemeanewtypeofoutlookonthesememories.Inthesense, painting these photos is a way to find pieces of myself, painting selfportraits without memories attached. Defining nostalgia and the concept ofhomeareconsistentthemesinmyworkthatIhavebeenresearchingfor about a year now. Elements of media from my childhood, such as the character strawberry shortcake, have found their way into several of my paintingsthusfar.Plus,theyarefunreferencesthatprovokememoriesin manyothers!”

Self-portraits are projects that recur in Madeline’s career, they are a way for her to connect with herself further. She investigates her own nature in ‘Untitled Self Portrait’ (9"x12" oil on panel"), “I challenge myself to make a self-portrait multiple times a year as a form of experimentation, to see if I can find creative ways of altering paintings and make something unique. This painting was specifically for expressing a worry of mine that I talk too loudly and too much during social gatherings. I wanted to experiment [with] ways of expressing that through the material itself, not relying on narrative. This painting is interactive, and when moved, the jaw swings back and forth giving the illusionthatthepaintingistalking.”

Painting is not the only medium Madeline uses to depict herself, “Portraiture is something I enjoy most when able to capture specific momentsofpeopleIcareabout.Iamoftendrawingfromobservationtobe able to fully immerse myself in the experience I am drawing, but if my sketchbook is not on hand, I always make sure to snap photos for further use in my art practice. My artistic process varies from piece to piece. But, whenpainting,Ialwaysliketohavepreliminarydrawingstohelpinform the image and help me curate a color palette. In my opinion, the subject will always inform the piece you are making. So when regarding portraiture, the way you perceive your subject will come through in your pieces, whether purposeful or subconsciously. All portraiture in my opinion, including self-portraiture, functions this way to a certain extent.”

For Madeline, mindfulness is substantial to making art, “I think being present and conscious in life is the best way to inspire creativity in yourself and others. Many decisions in my artwork come from times that make me observe changes in myself and others. This is either conscious or subconscious, but without being present and mindful, these observations wouldnotoccur.”

Untitled Self Portrait

'FIRST TOUCH'

By Macy Ebright

Artist Macy Taylor Ebright was born and raised in an unremarkable yet beautiful town outside of Boise, Idaho. Macy moved to Los Angeles in 2018 to attend school, then she briefly returned to her hometown during the early stages of the pandemic. Now that she is back in LA and no longer enrolled in school, she enjoys having an incredible amount of free time to spend drawing, watching movies, and going to the beach at night.

Macy explores her propensity for escaping in her piece, 'First Touch.' Due to this, she created her own universe and includes ‘other-worldly creatures’ in the piece. “All of the creatures have a purposeandcoexistthere.Whenyoubecomeinundatedwithjunkinyour life,youhavetwooptions;faceithead-onorputyourheadinthesandlike anostrich.Ihavestrongostrichtendencies.I'dimaginethat'stheoriginof everything I've made. Sometimes the sand is just way more beautiful and interestingthanwhat'sinfrontofyou.”

The creature included makes a connection with an ‘energy’ or ‘spirit’ through touch, this is in a majority of her drawings—a variation of a meeting. “Maybe unintentionally I've been trying to manifest a connection for myself. That's kind of a funny thought. Honestly, I think true connection is one of the most beautiful things we have and something I crave deeply. I'm an extremely shy person and find ituncomfortabletobesocialandevenmoresotobevulnerable.”

'just another girl'

By Rawan Behbehani

Model, concept co-creator, & stylist: Dalal Almumin @aquarian.distress Makeup artist: Fouz @imthefouz

Twenty-one-year-old photographer and graphic designer, Rawan, has always been creative, from doodling on assignments to photographing everyday occurrences she finds beautiful. Today, she utilizes art to document her experiences and bring joy to others as well as herself.

During her time at university, she tried to take some photography classes, but she did not enjoy them or learn from them. After many attempts, she stopped pursuing photography until August 2021. Though, eventually, she found the inspiration to shoot the film after seeing film photographers’ work. “Ilovedthetextureandvintageeffect thatyoucan’tgetwhenshootingdigital.So,Iboughtmyfirstfilmcamera and began shooting random moments in my daily life. I learned on YouTube from scratch since I did not remember what I learned in class.” After having obtained enough practice and knowledge, she decided to try out shooting portraits, she reached out to friends, photographed them, and began sharing the photos on Instagram. Her Instagram following grew, and thus she was able to begin working with models. “IthenstartedfeelingpressuretomakesureIhad good photos. Unfortunately, film was not making it easier for me. I was unable to see the photos and show them to the model during the shoot. So, wedidn’tknowiftheposeslookedgood.Iwasalsoworriedaboutusingthe wrong settings during the shoot. The issue was that I couldn’t see the photos until I developed them after the shoot. It took a long time and stressed me out. To solve this issue, I bought my first digital camera in February 2022. Thankfully, it has made my process much easier and increased my self-confidence as a photographer. However, I will start to shootfilmagainsinceImissitalot.”

In one of her most recent shoots, Rawan decided to tackle the issue of expression for an Arab woman, a photoshoot with great significance to her. “It captures the struggles I felt growing up as an Arab girl. I was expected to be feminine in all aspects of my identity. I was encouraged to wear skirts, makeup, and style my hair in a pretty and dainty way. I realized that I did not feel beautiful looking like this. However, I struggled to express this feelingandbottleditupasakid. When I grew up, I realized that I felt beautiful dressing more masculine, which for me, was an oversized shirt and baggy pants. So, I decided to capture this feeling with photography. The model and stylist, Dalal Al Mumin, and I came up with the idea to use a dishdasha as a symbol of masculinity. We then juxtaposed the idea with a rose to symbolize femininity. The makeup, done by Fouz, was colorful and bold to symbolize youth. In retrospect, I am grateful to have worked with an amazing team who helped bring my idea tolife.”

self-portrait

By Ashley T

Ashley is an eighteen-year-old student from Australia who is passionate about all things art. Ashley began oil painting in 2020 after experimenting with the arts for years, since then she has been hooked! She also plans on going to school for art and pursuing a fulltime career in it.

Ashley created one of the most personal types of art, a self-portrait. “They tell a story about the artist that no other form of art can. They incorporateelementsofvulnerabilityorlackthereof,allowingtheartistto createapersonaofthemselveswhichtheywanttheviewertoconnectwith in different ways. To me, self-portraiture is special because it’s a way in which I can introspectively analyze my character, and use art to express it.”

Within her self-portrait, she has beautifully incorporated pixelization in a second version of herself. “The pixilation is symbolic of the digital world and the persona that we create of ourselves on social media.Itreflectsonourrelationshipwithtechnologyandhowitisableto consumeus,renderingusdowntoirrelevant,tinypixels.”

دﺎﻋﻮﻠﺣ نﺎﻌﻴﻗﺮﻗ

In a little town situated in the outskirts of the Eastern Province, a time old occasion is celebrated. This biannual celebration is marked by generosity, kindness, and an overall community loving spirit. Haloo Aad ( ), otherwise known as Gargee'an ( ), is arguably one of Safwa’s most anticipated events. It is much like Halloween with the festive and charitable spirit, except instead of a costume most wear traditional Khaleeji clothing. The door of every Safwani is open from the beginning of noon to the late stages of dusk as bags filled with candy, juices, games, and even money are handed out. Safwa is so known for its generosity that many from Qatif and Saihat travel all the way to Safwa just to experience the lively atmosphere of Safwani Haloo Aad. Later in the night, gates are set up in every neighbourhood and bags of chips and cups filled with Vimeto are distributed. The night ends by visiting relatives, concluding the day with a comforting and homey finish.

By Zahraa AlShubbar

SAFWA

In Safwa, one feels at home even in ordinary times but especially in times of celebration. It is a place to belong and to feel as part of a tight knit community, loving one another even if you do not know each other’s names. But of course for the case of every Safwani auntie and uncle, they’ll surely know everybody’s name.

Mind, Body, and Soul

The connection between mind, body, and soul - a topic frequently touched upon by philosophers and theorists - really makes us wonder what ties these 3 elementary units of a living and breathing human together. Why do we always hear these words in conjunction with one another when the conversation arises? And what does it really mean to understand them?

By definition, the mind is the origin of our consciousness and unconsciousness. The body is the physical application of it, and the soul is the immortal spirit behind mortal beings. As much as their definitions intertwine, their states of differing quite a bit.

For starters, the mind refers to all the mental processes and thoughts that occur within a human. When we refer to it, the impression given is that of an abstract idea, that the mind is immaterial itself. Philosophers argue whether this is true though; the mind-identity theorists debate how the mind and brain are essentially the same, which would identify them both as physical matter, however, the dualists assert the opposite. Any immaterial substance would be one that can exist on its own and function solo, but the mind depends on our body and brain to function. The controversy formerly stated stems from this train of thought, and to this day remains a subject of interest in philosophy, psychology, and sociology.

The body, a quite obvious aspect of a being, is completely physical in nature. This refers to the material characteristics such as our cells, tissues, and the atoms that make them up. The internal wiring of neurons and blood vessels makes the body an essential component of survival since without a body there is nothing. The body is the home for our soul and mind, it is the key to our strength and sensations, hence it is what makes us ‘us’ physically.

The soul is a more complex idea to grasp. It is completely immaterial and exists for our existence. It gives us awareness of our individuality and brings a body and mind to life but its concrete concept remains under the dust to this day, due to the various subjective opinions on it. The word “soul” itself is used quite often metaphorically and analogically to express one’s essence, but it is a dynamic concept that is beyond a human’s questioning; though one thing is for sure, each soul is unique -like the fingerprints of a body. By default, we are born with one soul which remains throughout our lives, but as it matures, the mind grows figuratively and the body physically to accommodate it.

Having been said, one can only achieve the status of “humanity” when all three of these, the mind, body, and soul, work together. Without a mind, there is no consciousness; without a body, there is no “human”; and without a soul, it is a corpse.

By Khadija Bilal

Photo by Tomas Anunziata

Milly, a second-year chemistry student with an unbreakable enthusiasm for art and an avid TikTok creator, where she shares spreads of her popular Moleskine sketchbook. In her day-to-day life, she finds her inspiration and muses, she takes animals, places, and people and transforms them into art, “Inthisway,Ithinkmycontentis largely relatable and easily enjoyed by my audience.” Paintings and artwork frequently heighten her appreciation of life as a result of her inspiration being drawn from events in her life. “I think that because my motivation to create comes from my environment, I enjoy it that much more.Thisgivespersonalvaluetoalotofmywork.”

As a chemistry student, Milly is always faced with new and fascinating subjects, particularly animals. “I especially love to paint fish whose scales reflect light elegantly. The patterns that can be observed innaturalmicroscopesamplesintriguemegreatly.Ihavecreatedcollages from skin and plant cell samples, and in some of my works combined this withportraituretoconnectthesenaturalscientificelementswithpalpable real-life.

Apart from working on nature-based artwork, Milly also enjoys the intimacy of painting portraits of herself, “I do think that creating a self-portrait is a more intimate process than choosing any other subject matter. It is grounding to try and emulate yourself honestly—I am activelytryingtoavoidairbrushingmyselforrenderingmyimagetolook moreattractiveorpleasing.Ithinkthisisareallygooddisciplinetolearn for painting and drawing: staying true to life is the hardest when you are thesubject.”

The process of creating has brought Milly peace, and like many artists, it is a form of relaxation, and sometimes, therapy. “Like anything that requires focus, you enter a workflow that can be hard to interrupt, and during this time I find some peace of mind where nothing else is significant. When I have finished my session I often feel more centred. The end result carries the satisfaction of my hard work but it is also the reward of mindfulness. My subject matter isn't very visually challenging and I think that this communicates my relaxed approach to creating.”

'RESHAPE IT FOR SOMEONE'

By Juju

An illustrator from Saudi Arabia, Juju, uses art as a form of communication. ‘Reshape It For Someone’ is a selfportrait made for Juju to express how she feels the need to change and reshape herself to be safe around certain people, and become accepted. “It’s a form of a subtle comeback for someone who once said ‘I know you more than anyone,’ But it’s comingfromsomeonewhobarelyknowsme beyond the character I created for them. I think faking something especially as big as an entire personality and identity almost kills the entire relationship because it’s not based on truth, but it’s something so many peopleleanontobeacceptedandincludedto an extent. It’s in our nature as humans to seek validation from people who mean a lot to us or to basically survive a situation you can’tchange.”

For Juju, it is really important to find a way to fully express oneself, “whether it’s to find a community or through a form of art, I don’t think anyone is capable of holdingbacktheirtruthfortoolong.”

CyborgWaffleIron is a self-taught twenty-year-old artist from Alabama, who comes from a family of artists. Selfportraits have made them more selfaware, in a way they don’t know anything about themself, “it changed the mental image I have of myself in a weird way”. They have mixed feelings about selfportraits, “self-portraits are a lot different from painting other things, I have to constantly look at a picture of myself or in the mirror to get it completely right, it feels likethere'slesscreativefreedom.”

self-portrait

By CyborgWaffleIron

'stomach band'

By Cassy Cota

Cassy Cota is an artist based in Southern California. She enjoys making art that evokes a sense of comfort and innocence, while still uneasy and discomforting.

The inspiration behind her sketch is the office she works at. “[It] is reallyquiet,andmostdaysmystomachisconstantlymakingnoises.Ifelt pretty self-conscious about this for a while. Then, I met someone whose stomach made constant loud noises too, so we started making jokes about how these sounds were coming from a tiny band playing music in there. Thisconceptwasreallycutetome,soIdecidedtoputitonpaper.”

By creating this piece, she was able to create a sense of relatability with other people who have faced the same experience or issue, she “Found ways to connect to my body without judgment. People who know me well know that I've always had issues with my digestive system, so I thinkthisdrawingdefinitelysignalstheconnectionIhavewithmybody.”

'nothing breaks like a heart'

By Salome Frenzel

Salome Frenzel is a 24-year-old graphic designer from Germany. Though, she once wanted to be a fashion designer, as a child. Therefore, being in the creative industry has been something consistent for her, and was her greatest wish. She has been a ballet dancer and a pianist since she was six years old, and has loved to express herself through various forms of art. Furthermore, some of the values she often represents in her art are mindfulness, selfreflection, equality, and love.

Salome creates a wide range of art. She frequently combines experimental colors, forms, and typography-based layouts with Swiss typography. and enjoys creating videos of her animations or process. Salome has been working through her mental health and feelings in the past two years and noticed that there is a relatable factor in them, which she can express artistically. “I choose to use many different mediums. In some artwork, I use people for stylistic reasons because of this. I find people and their motivations very interesting and often get lost in thoughts about the human condition and howeasilywecanbeinfluencedbothpositivelyandnegatively.SoIfigure why not try to make people think and show that their thoughts and feelings are understandable? I make content that can be understood and interpretedinmanydifferentways.”

In her piece, ‘Something is Missing,’ she presents the extremely relatable intuition of something missing. “I believe that we are searchingallourlives.Forlove,innerpeace,andmaybejustforamission. I think that goal can look different for everyone. I'm not a fan of generalizations in general. The artwork ‘Something is Missing’ is about the feeling that something is missing, but you don't know who or what. You feel incomplete and are looking for what completes you. It does not evenhavetobeanotherperson.Itcouldalsosymbolicallybethe‘meaning of life’. The points are each in the color of the other body missing to symbolizeaunitywhenbotharefoundandonecarriesthemissingpartof theotherinitself.”

'something is missing'

'incomplete kisses'

Being mindful of others is a trait that has always been and continues to be vital for Salome, as she transports it in most of her work. “Be mindful with yourself and others. You never know whatsomeonejusthastogothrough.”

nina nayko

Nina Nayko, a twenty-three-year-old, photographer from Georgia specifically, the atmospheric city of Tbilisi. Nina’s interest in photography began when she was thirteen when she noticed that her perspective of the world, is different than any other person she knew. So, she began using her tablet to capture specialties that stood out to her and share her individual perspective with others. This developed into a practice that is a core part of her life, thus, her hobby transformed into her career.

Her city of Tbilisi is filled with brutalist architecture—both old and modern concrete buildings which she captures the simplicity of. Contradicting the concrete, Tbilisi is surrounded by nature. “Georgia is a small country but it is full of wonderful natural landscapes. I love capturingthebeautyofnatureasit'salwaysfascinatingforme.”

Nina combines both aspects urban and rural as she is encompassed by both. “It is a good contrast for my art as I love looking forsomethingexcitinginoursimpleeverydaylife,andsobeautifulnature incontrasttothebigconcretebuildingsislikeabreathoffreshairforme.”

Relatively bright yellow and blue highlight the contradiction between the outside and the inside of the room. The egg is looking into the window unaware of the bleak gray walls— staring at the colorful tiles, a life it can't have. This sparks a feeling of envy and jealousy for the egg. They are stuck with the melancholic outdoors, with no hope for the more promising.

ByReemaAlheraiqi

'glow on me'

By Lauren Bonham

Lauren Bonham, an artist from North Texas, uses events of her unstable childhood on the art she creates today, as she began creating art with the intention of taking control of her environment. “I clung onto art in high school, specifically dry mediums like pastel chalk and colored pencil to express how I was feeling.” She pursued this passion and started at community college, then challenged herself to apply to an art program at the University of North Texas where she achieved her BFA. However, Lauren was in art block for the last two years in school, only making work to get by in class. “It was painful to hate all of my work for years because creating was such a vital part of my expression/identity.” Though, she aimed to change that. “In February of 2022, I had a meeting with my professor, Jim, where I asked if therewasanythingthatcouldhelpmecreatework Iwasexcitedabout.Afterafewtalksaboutwhatis andisn'tworking,hesaid‘Don'tbeafraidtofuckit up.’"

Lauren followed her professor's advice and smeared the lifelike painting with her hand. "I wassoanxiousdoingtheaction,Itooknoticeofthe effects it had. Being a perfectionist most of my life withtheneedforcontrolbecauseofmylackduring childhood was shown to me in that first smear. I continued to practice this as it got me excited for not only my personal growth but also knew others neededthisawarenessaswell.”

She went on to create pieces she was proud of, including, 'Glow on Me'. “The mushrooms in 'Glow on me' symbolize hope rather than the decaying process everyone knows fungi for. Tuning into the idea of 'focusing on the good despite all the bad'. The smearing of the glowing mushrooms indicates the difficulty to hold onto hopewhenitfeelslikeyou'redecaying."

'squint'

Returning to the theme of soaking up despair, Lauren created ‘Squint’ a piece that combines the concepts of beauty within the pain. “Icamefroman internal and external world of darkness. As a child, I soaked that up. Growing older, I became aware of how badly I wanted to beat the odds stacked against meandturntothelightdespitehowIfelt inside. 'Squint' is a perfect visual example of how pain and beauty can coexist rather than compete with one another. At the time I painted it, I was in my art block and I was fighting with wanting to be self-destructive. The hard squint that is painful in pink/red paint indicates the pain while the complementarygreenprovidesrelief.”

Moreover, in 'Somewhere Is Here’ Lauren creates an escape for her audience, through nature. “I focused on the colors and how they interacted with one another to create a sense of calmness and wonder. I stood in front of the 4 ft immersive canvas and took a moment as if I was in that space in real-time. I moved my hands across the canvas to flow with the shoreline that felt like a breeze. I went in and added more form to the smearing. I smeared with my hands down from the trees to the grass to combine the sky with the land.Naturehasbeenapersonalescapeformetogivemetheenergy to keep going. I wanted this painting to give that breath of fresh air forothers.”

'somewhere is here'

Habiba Elkholy, the twenty-year-old artist who initiated the campaigns, ‘BREATHE’ and ‘GROW’. “Art is a reflection of self. If you are struggling with knowing who you are, art is the way to go.” Habiba started with writing, yet it failed to be a tool she could always use. Against her beliefs of not being able to draw or paint, something gravitated her to pick up a brush. Slowly, she combined the two, with sketches and short poems, and she started to learn how to express all the thoughts swirling in her mind. “I work at an art center, and people don’t just come to learn how to paint; they come to express themselves, they come to reconnect with their souls, and create their own world. I’ve seen how much they grow, develop, and recover, throughout the sessions. No matter how different they are, no matter how different their creations are, because for me the purpose of art is to heal ourselves, to understand ourselves, and our thoughts, to understand ourselves and everyone around us. Art is all around us. It is in different shapes and colors. There is art in the way trees align and the sun shines. It is a way of communication, you communicate with your inner-self, find yourdoorsopen,anddiscovernewthingsaboutyourself.Artis love, it’s universal, and we are all art. We are all artists. And the best thing about art is that there is no right or wrong, and therearenorules,it’saworldoffreedom.So,findyourownart, your own creation, to express yourself through. And as Edgar Degas said, ‘Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.’”

severe

If I told you that before you make your sporadic returns, I contemplate severing my every tie to you. Would you tell people I’m rash as you ask them for my new contact info?

If I told you that after losing our friendship of ten years, I only felt a gratification at getting the last word. Would you tell people I’m apathetic as you watch me guffaw an hour after our fight?

If I told you that when composing my sentences, I only envision you reading them. Would you tell people I’m obsessed as you explain the hidden relevance my words have to you?

By Leena Shagrani

If I told you that while you vociferate your repetitive claims I dissociate until I barely distinguish your outline. Would you tell people how dismissive I am as you reiterate those monotonous claims to them?

If I sent every person their allocated stanza would all my predictions prove true and my connections be severed?

contributers

Magazine Cover

Cover photo by Milan Storfjell. Editing by Reema AlHeraiqi.

Letter from the editor-in-chief. Words, by Reema Alheraiqi

Empathy's Sabbatical. Words, by Leena Shagrani. Photo by Mathias Reding.

FLOWERS, FLAW, FLESH by Milan Storfjell.

Safwa

Words and photo, by Zahraa AlShubbar. Mind, Body, and Soul. Words, by Khadija Bilal. Photo by Tomas Anunziata.

A collection of paintings and a selfportrait by Milly Greer.

'RESHAPE IT FOR SOMEONE' by Juju.

'Growing Pains', 'From My Rotting Body', and 'Growth' by Anya Thompson.

‘Uncanny’ ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ and an untitled self-portrait by Madeline Menkes.

'FIRST TOUCH' by Macy Ebright. 'Just Another Girl' by Rawan Behbehani.

Model, concept co-creator, & stylist: Dalal Almumin @aquarian.distress Makeup artist: Fouz @imthefouz

Self-portrait by Ashley T.

Untitled self-portrait by CyborgWaffleIron. 'Stomach Band' by Cassy Cota. ‘Nothing Breaks Like A Heart’, ‘Something Is Missing’, and ‘Incomplete Kisses’ by Salome Frenzel.

A collection of photographs by Nina Nayko. Untitled painting by Reema AlHeraiqi.

'Glow on Me,' 'Squint,' and 'Somewhere Is Here' by Lauren Bonham.

‘GROW’ and ‘BREATHE’ by Habiba Elkholy. Severe. Words, by Leena Shagrani.

Graphic Design and all interviews, by Reema AlHeraiqi.

Thank you.