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Every year the Union of UEA Students produces a Handbook which is given to each of the 5500 new students that come to study at UEA. The Handbook outlines some of the activities and opportunities available for students whilst studying at UEA and living in Norwich. Previous copies of the Union Handbook are available upon request.

We are looking for....



Handbook Assistant

Purpose of Post: To design the Union Handbook.

Purpose of Post: To assist in the design and creation of the Union Handbook

Key responsibilities

Key responsibilities

The • • •

The post-holder will be expected to: • Assist in the design of the Union's Handbook • Work to a production schedule • Lay-up pages • Take photos

post-holder will be expected to: Design the Union Handbook Work to a brief Lay-up pages

Candidates will be expected to submit a 1 page CV , 1 page of content design & 1 page front cover design. \ (

Candidates will be expected to submit a 1 page CV , 1 page of content design & an example of Photoshop experience.

Both of these posts will start in early June - the date is flexible in order to accomadate exams. Both contracts are for 3 weeks - 36 ~ hours per week- rate of pay: £6.96 per hour- based in Union House 1

Deadline for applications is Friday 20th May 3pm Contact: Tom Do/ton on with your application or with any questions .

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• The Union of UEA Students is committed to the equality of opportunity for all

Editor-in-Chief> Oanny Collins I Deputy Venue Editor Fiona Howard L3.:LLI~~:J.ll..l.:~.._~~~ I

Fashion Editor> Kat Jones

Deputy Fashion Editor Hannah Britt

~Contributors> Kat Andrews, Sue Ecdestone, Emma McKee, Hannah Brill, Kat Jones ~UA:I. I,:Z;C.I"JU;~·;,p.::~=:.- .. l Arts Editor> Liz Jack son Arts Contributors> Susanna Wood, Greg Mann, Emmo Webb, Du neon Vtcot-Brown

~~»3~=.....:...... w~....~~.......... l Television Editor> Tasha Golley Television Contributors> Matt Tidby, Natolie Stephenson, Beth Wyatt, Amy Adorns, Kathryn Deighan, Tosha Golley

Creative Writing Editor> Ro~ert Van Egg hen Creative Writing Contributors> Leo Hunt ~!A3-I;.::ztLo..LIJr::7.:~._,~== I Wired

Editor>Vaughn Highheld

Wired Contributors> Josh Mott, William Moron, Voughn Highheld

I Film Editor> Paul Martin

Deputy~lmEdHor> CatherineWatts ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~S:~:~~~~E:~:~:S~:~~~~~~ Film Contributors> Rodosava Rudulovic, lorna Pontefract, Samantha Rogers, Josh Moll, Andrew Wilkins, Maximise the chances of getting your Jomes Burrough, Helen Jones, lothaniel Dyer, Steph McKenno, Anna Easlick. ~EPOSIT back from your LA~~LOR~. ~12J'~JJ£lt.I.U,.\;~== I

Music Editors> Aiec Plowman & Alex Throssell

Music Contributors> Steph McKenno, Emily Pritchord, Sean Purdy, Rtanne Ison, Alex Ross, Jordan Bright, Fiona Howard, Alex Throssell


listings Editor> Georgina Wade 1..-.;;;;= ========::!.l listmgs Contributors>Georgino Wade

Competitions Editor>Henry Croft

End of tenancy clean £12.50pb, we only charge for what you need. As student landlords ourselves, we know what standard of clean your landlord wants. Call now to book your clean: Helen: 07738 530972


JFA§HTION God Save McQueen "This is such a fashion moment , you ha ve no id ea 1" sq uea led a BB C report er when Kate 1\!lidd leton 's dress was fi na lly revea led. Surely th e co ncealm ent of both dress and design er is the bes t kept sec ret in fashion eve r? Sarah Burton took over th e creat ive rein s of Alexander 1\!lcQueen afte r his tragic sui cid e in February. Th e fa shi o n world watched with baited brea th , claws at the rea dy, as she tentati ve ly ca rried on th e late designer·'s legacy. Would she succeed o r fai l? As Kate stepped out of her car, we go t our answer. The dress was a triumph. She did i\lcQueen proud.



There was so me ser ious sex ual tens ion between Prin ce Harry and Pippa JVlidd leton . li e defini tely wants a pi ece. And who G ill blame him ?


Can't afford th e exotic holiday? Be a traveller in yo ur home town. Pi ck up thi s one at m for £8 .

If WC look good as Ca rol e 1\11 idd leton when we're 56, we will be VE I ~Y happy 1

O ur favourite quote from th e wedd in g.. . Will to Kate as she appeared by his side at the altar: "You look beautiful." I !cart melt in g.

Prince Harry gave the bridesmaids Wiggly V\'orm~ in the carriage to keep them ente rtained. This lit tle cuti e kept hers for th e offic ial photo g ra~1h. llless.

r Pimms 0 'clock Summ er sun , lovely mates , lon g, lazy evenin gs - l make th at Pimms O'clock, don't yo u?

Rock Your Shades

Topman's new range in aid of Teenage Ca ncer Trust, pro tect yo ur eyes, give to charity, lap up the sun - good times.

CHOKIN' Men in Swimsuits Wrong on so many levels. Men take note. Avoid at all costs.


Three yea r old cutie, Grace van Cutsem made us giggle throughout the wedding coverage. She did NOT apprecia te that balcony...

The Queen has never been known for her warmth. However, she 'ee min gly snubbed Cam ilia at th e wedd in g, greetin g Charl es and ignorin g his wife. Was it a ge nuin e mi stake? Or should her new title be "Q ueen Bitch"<

LOL. Is it just us ... or does Princess Beatrice's hat look a little like a uterus? Lovel y.

The team at Alexa nd er i\ lcQueen were prai sed for keepin g ti ght lipped about Kate's dress. It has sinee co me out th at they were never actuall y told who they were creat in g the dress fori


Pippa 1\liddl etonwore 1\lcQueen like her sister. Criti cs all ove r th e world prai sed how effortless she performed her duties as maid of hon our.


It's not just William who ge ts to take Katc home ... "Pippa Midd lcton Ass Appreciation Society" -why on ea rth arc yo u not a member yet?!

This is never a good look. So Slip/Slop/Slap for safety in the sun .

-~-.B. ~~s111on ...... - .

Issue 256 lOthMa 2011



_· os!

The Good Life; Step back into the 70s Who doesn't have a dad who loves Felicity Kendal as Barbara in The Good Life?! Well, who can blame him? Miss Kendal was an effortlessly gorgeous icon of the seventies, and we can all learn a thing or two from her style as we approach the summer of 2011. Men, think of the unkempt but ultra cool style of Mick ]agger. Watching classic sitcoms, basking in the sounds of The Clash or The Rolling Stones and rummaging in the wardrobe of your parents will get you in into the groove for fashion's latest summer trend.

With Thanks To ...

Ethical Clothing: Where Do You Stand?

New Look in the city has had a face lift; now with a much larger mens section and all students have 20o/o discount. Special thanks go to Sue, Manager at New Look, and Photographer, Belinda Gillet.

More and more high street shops are beginning to introduce a limited amount of ethically created garments as the fashion industry is constantly under media scrutiny. Four Venue writers share their views on ethical fashion below. Kat Andrews: The issue of ethical clothing causes me a constant battle between my conscience and my bank balance. No one should be forced to work for almost no money and I hate the thought that I almost certainly wear clothes that were made in those circumstances. But as a student I don't have much choice. There is just no way I can afford ethically made clothes whilst I'm living off a student loan. However, the prices need to be high enough to ensure the people making them get fair wages, so I will need to find a way to afford them. Sue Ecdestone: Its great to have something that is not only comfortable to wear, but also is comfortable in mind that no-one was exploited in making the t-shirt. Emma McKee: The t-shirts are.surprisingly soft, and have a nice fitted shape. A classic tee is a must for every wardrobe, being ethnically made is a great bonus. Hannah Britt: I know I should care about ethical clothing. But I really don't. If it looks pretty and it makes my legs look amazing, then I will probably buy it even if it has been made in some third world country by a twelve year old. Shoot me.

Kat Jones Has Left The Building For my last ever issue as Fashion Editor I wanted to go out with a bang! So thanks to Luke Nash for modelling 70s style with me. I hope you've enjoyed my fashion ramblings.

Literature - Michel Faber - The Crimson Petal and the White rIll he wake of l hell BC\ ~tell a r ·1- p<!rl ad.! pl iOil of T/1(· Cri111~011 lllllit/1(• \\'/lite, there h<h heen renewed intcre~l in 1\lichel 1-aher\ 2002 he~l -,eiler. i\ -,Jwcki ng L'xplor<ll ion otYic torian -,ociety, the novl'i remain-, a challenging, ~·et i n ~ i ghtful re.ltL \\'ith the er1during popu lari t y of \'ictorian no,els,

l''>peci.llly tho'>e of Charles r )ickem, Ceorge l·.liol .111d Tho m a-, I lardy, WL' .I re under the impre-,~ion th.11 we know our nineteenth Lentury countcq1arh well. I lowl'\'er, the opening p<lge' of /'lie Cri111~011 J>etol ond tin· \\'liitc shatter any illw.ions of familiarity. I he n.nrator ch.dlenge' our percqHion' of \ 'ictorian typic1lity, reminding u' to ' walLh our -,tep' ,1, we de'>cend into the darkest reCL'S'L's of London's undervorkl. 1\nd what an underworld it is! The re <ldcr i~ quick!) introduLed to the nwtlcy a"lHlmcnt of sh.uncle" 1\horcs, drunken ari~ l ocrah, perverted doclor·s <llld mad wil'es th.11 JHlJHri ,lle thi, imentiiL' l'l'l meticulou,i;' re'>carched nmel. At the centre i'> Sugar, <1 ticrccl~ intl'iligcnt fnmtilule , who-,L' only real ~ourLL' of L'lllntainnH'Ill is imagining viciou' puni-,hment>. to inflict on her cluck" customer,. ~hL· is 'acquired' h~ · wealth~ · so.1p m.1gn.1k \\'illi.un IZ.1Lkh.1m , .1nd thL· ,lory follows her journey from the 'ordid brothels of~~ CiJc, Strel'l to the of1f1re.,.,i1e opulcnLe of\\'illi<llll\ t\otting I !ill home . lt i'> not, hlll\el'l'r, Prett~ \\'oman 1\ ith cor'>L'ls . ,\ lcn .liT p.1inted with .111 unforgiving black hru~h; there .ltT no true 'ial'iour-, here, liH e1erything comes with a price .!llached. I )on't expect to find traditional romance between the pages of Tile Cri111sou Pctnl

Art - UEA - PhotoSoc Exhibition ThL' art l(mn ol 11hotogr.1ph) can find ihelf \OlllL'\1hat u!llkrminL·d in thi' digital ,lgL·. I he potenti,tl .md heaut1· of film photogr.tphy a:. di,pl.l)'L'd hy d.trkroom .nti' t' '>liLh ,1, ktT)' L'ebmann .Ill' .tlmmt l(n<'otlen ( lcrn \\ho 1 ), 11hik- the .ILCe'>sihilit)' of modern digit,IIL.lllll'tas lllL'<lll'> if mu L.m't ,ing or p.1ir1t .1t k\t'>l l'llll c.111 'give photogr.!ph) a go'. TJw,c· 11hotogr.1phct'> I\ J10 l'll'>SL'\\ thL• ,lrtistiL I hiOil , il,1ir, LrL'.\lil it)' ,utd lL'chniLal 'kill requi1nl to 11roduLe 'work-, of ,trt ' often go unnoticed unk" the') gi1·L· in to the commerci.d c'\pecl<lliom of photogr.1phy .1nd oiler ,\ free I 0 \ H once IOU ' PL'llli m LT ' 200 on dll'L'SI' J.unilv plwtograf'h'ln contrast to thi,, the l'lwtog1·,1ph) \oLiL·tv .1t UL\ i' here for .dl ththe '>tudL'Ilh 11ith <Ill inlL'I'l''>t 111 plwtogr.1ph1 .md i' kL'L' Il to helf1 '>tudL'llt'> nurtu1·c .md e\pre" their t,tknt. t\ow the Photogr,!plll' SoLicty ha' gi1e11 their member' <Ill opportunity to disf)l,!)' their· taknt in .111 l'\hihition ho,tcd hy An term ,\rt' I ound,llion in the King of I lean' Cafe on r\lagdak-n ~trcct, '>howing the 11orking .JL.tLkmic, ,\1 L'L,\ L,lll compete wit h their cit)' ri1al' at 1'\orwich L1nivcr,it)' College of the ,\rh. i'vkmbcr'> 11ne .!'>ked to ,uhmit their he,l plwtm f(Jr '>Crutinous '>elcllion hy \nterm An, l·ound,I ti on fou nder John I killillailt who grouped thL' entrie' into 'i' dillerL'lll L.lkgorie'>: t\bstr,1Ll and Still lik, t\nim,ll'> and 0.'<llurc, I loLUillL'lll.1r)', L.lnlbcape, l'ot tr.Jits .md L'rh.1n

I..JnLbL.lp<''> .md Building'; co1ering mml ,!,peel> of photogr.1pl11 .u1d di,pl.l) in g the 1.1riL'l)' of talent the photography MKicty ha' to offer. t\ tof1 ti I'L' 11 ,1' clw,en I( H' each L.ll q~on ·, ine Iud ing ,Ill 0\L'r,!ll 11 inner IIIHhe work 11 ,1, fr.un cd and l(nrr runner'> up who'c 11·ork 11,1'> nwuntcd- which arc ,Ill 011 di,pl.l) irt the l'\hihition. Th e l'<lriL'l)' on di,pby in the L'\hihition i'> thL' lll.Jill ,1f1pe.d, showing 11"11.11 photograpl11 h,l\ to oiler· .I s ,lll ,1n form. Some of lhL' photo'> ,Jww quiLk thinking to hrilli;mtly Gtpturc a lllOilll'!lt '>liLh ,!, thL' enwtioii' of ,I ,·icttniou' emhr.1ce, whik othn, highii ght the import,lllLL' of 11ell thought out and organi'>L'd mmposition. Some photo' '>impl:· dr,l\\ :·our .!llL'ntion to he.llllilul .tnd inkrc .. ting 'ighh which othnwise might k ignored , ,ud1 ,1, light '>hining through lca1e'> or lh L• illlriL<lliL'\ of ,I lllU,hrlHllll. \\'h,\I L' \L'I' \'OUr interc'>l in art, hopeful~\- thne i, a photogr.tph on displ.!)' which C<lll'>e' you to look twicL', and .li1PieLi.lte the art of photogr.q1hy. GrcgMa nn l'illlto.'HJ<' ll'tnt!d like to cxpn·ss ti!Jink_, toti1c ;\ntcros 1\rts Foundution ji1r i10sting tiu· <'xhi/Jition. For in{imn!IIIOII 011 n ·cnts 111uillrt t'ourscs on of/(-r 111 ti1c ,\ntcro_, Art_, jinuulutiou t·i,il lt'll 'lt'.tllltaos. t' , \i~o th11nb to ,\ 'tnwidl l'icturc/Jox jcn the i1igi1 lilllliit)' t'rints 111ul gcncrui Sllf'f'Ort 111ul Cnt'OIIrti,I:CinCnl. f. or printing. 1//0IIntin,t; 1111rf {iwnin.t; scn •in· roll Ctlll find ,\ 'on l'ich i'icturc/Jox ut \tu// 15 in i~ott ' /l oJ ti1c rntlrkct.

tile \\'lute. The '>ocial progrL· s~ of the 11rot.1goni't is .unhiguou~. with thL· que'>lio n remaining .1s to whether Sug.1r ha' mmed r·rom OllL' type of f)l'O'•litution to another, .dheit morL' re,pect.lhlc one. This book is abn not tin the delicate of comtitution. \'iolcnt '>L'.\ , hodil: funLlion' and homL· abortions .1re .Ill L'Xamined in gruesumel~ - unplc'.!sant detail. These .ne 11aircd along'>ide Sugar\ own dam.1ged 1)'\chL·: equally -,ordid , ,!JL· i-, <I true product ul the LLlrk '>ide of \ ' ictori.111 'ociet:·. 1 .1ber\ po-,lmtldL'rtl e~e .Iilo\\'> him to write .Ill this with the benefit of Frcudi.1n hindsight, which me<ln~ it doesn' t kcl lih· -,JHlLk for the sakL· of it. Our repubion of the obscenities in the book also highlights a kn,ion hL·tween sc\u,d rL·pre,,lut1 and dqn.ll'<1lion, thL' former L'Xemr)litied b:· \\'illi.un\ wilL' t\gnL'' at the upper end of the '>OLi.d '>trat.l, and the L1ttn hy ~ug.1r ,ll '>OCiL' ll'\ depth,. lt desnl'e'> recognrlron .1s .1 decpl~· sub1·cr,il'e kmini'>l le.\ t, ,.,., it f1la:·s with uur perception' .1nd e\pcct.ltion' of '>e\u,dit~ · and lo1·c particul<nl:· 11 ithin it'> setting. Our own ex peel.! I ions of wh,11 the hook ,Jwuld he <lre prmcd to he ,1 mi'>11laced l~lllt<h) ' in the reality of \ ' ictori,ln I il'i ng . IIIICI

Susa nn a Woo d


Issue 256

_10_th__ M~ay~2_0_1_1__________________________________________________________________~--------~07

Literature Feature - The Pitfalls of Fanfiction Fanfics; at best, they're harmless yet inferior homages, at wor~t, they're narcissistic, illegible canon-rape. Fan fiction is as consistently awful a genre as Happy Hardcore or the films of Danny Dyer. her wondered what would happen if Ginny and Draco shagged each other's adolescent brains out, or if Edward Cullen and Sookie Stackhouse crossed the divide and got it on? Life's much, much too short. However, there is one particular entry to the genre that comes highly... recommended. My 1111/1/0rtal, initially posted on in 2006 by a user charmingly named bloodyrists666, is a Harry Potter fanfic in 44 parts. Its protagonist is one Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, a diedin-the-wool 'goff' with a rogue's gallery of admirers and an attention to wardrobe detail that puts Patrick Bateman to shame. join her and her pals Draco, Vampire (nee Harry) and B'loody Mary Smith (nee Hermione) as they fight Voldemort, self harm (but only recreationally), have anatomically unlikely sex, avoid molestation of the Hogwarts staff, from most and attend a startling number of gigs in Hogsmeade. Dumbledore wears an Avril Lavigne branded cape and swears like a trooper. Snap and Loopin (guess who) are alarmingly

persistent paedophiles. The number of chapters that end with Draco killing himself runs well into double digits, an event which is always met with shrieking, hysterical grief from Enoby (who often has a go at her own wrists as a means of relaxation after a bad day). Despite this, he often appears unharmed

in the next scene, with no fanfare whatsoever; that's just I Iogwarts for you, man ... The spelling and grammar arc, at first, actually quite good, as bloodyrists666 (real name Tara Gillespie, rumoured to be a thirteen year old American girl living in Dubai) was lucky enough to have her best

Literature - Richard Bach - Illusions

Richard Bach's Illusions will be 44 years old this year and it continues to strike chords with readers in the way all potential classics do. Bach tells the story of a new-age Messiah who has decided to leave his job of being a Messiah (and a car mechanic) as modern followers do not want his message of the word of God, just the miracles that entertain them. He decides to pass the knowledge onto an unsuspecting apprentice - a lonely barnstorming pilot from lllinois. The two men strike up an unlikely alliance and innocently perform miracles around the Midwest, until the earthly mission of Donald Shimoda, Messiah, i complete. In Shimoda's possession is his own manual, 'The Messiah's Handbook', which is frequently quoted by the author and

used as a point of reference by the reluctant pilot-turned-miracle-worker, . Richard. Its profound, often sarcastic genius is akin to 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galax')'' as it feature in Douglas Adams' novel of the same name, and on its own provides some much-needed practical wisdom and advice, for character and reader alike. Companionship and spirituality are at the heart of Jllusions as it questions all that we call reality and its function in life. Bach means to tell us that reality itself is fiction, an illusion we create for ourselves, and to that end, we are all free to do what we want to do. A tempting idea; one that might cause readers to walk out on the job in which they have never found fulfilment, or spend a month's wages on a guitar they have always wanted to play. Put simply, lllusions is a book with one simple message: do what makes you happy. Always. Casting a delicate balance between tales of morality and the miraculous, Bach has written a story for happiest days and darkest times. Bach creates a world in which dreams are real and living is false, and it forces the reader to answer the questions most of us choose to ignore - if what you're doing doesn't make you happy, why are you doing it? If even the Messiah has the right to march through his adoring crowds, and proclaim, 'I quit' and make himself a new life, us mere mortals are certainly free to do that. Read on a good day, Illusions will reaffirm your faith in life, and more importantly, yourself. On a bad day, it might just save your faith completely. EmmaWebb


buddy bloodytcarz666 proofreading for her. Unfortunately, following a fight over a stolen f\ICR hoodie, tearz leaves rists to her own de\ ices, leaving in her wake a grammatical disaster the likes of which the world has not seen before or since. Rumours abound that Aty Immortal is nowt but a lengthy, meticulously detailed fake, and there's certainly a good case for this theory. But there's a point where all sense and rational thought go so far out of the window that you'd either have to be insane or a genius to make it up. Case in point; just before (spoiler alert!) killing Voldemort at the end, during a Mexican stand-off with actual guns, Enoby pauses to deliver this gem: 'I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.' So, if you've got a spare evening, and strong sides, stick on a Bloody Gothic Rose 666 CD (well of co11rse Enoby's got her own band ... ) and step into a magical world of pot cigarettes, old-timey swearing, heavy-duty mascara, satanism and 'passive frenching'. But please, no Preps. Duncan Vicat-Brown

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PRIME TIME> Doctor Who BBC One Saturday, 6:30pm

~o r th ose wh o've been liv in g in a parallel un iverse, /)oelor \\'/w is th e lo ngest runn ing sc ience fi ction programm e of a lit im e. It foll ows th e mad, funn y and sca ry ;Jdventures of a ver y old , very wise and very silly alien ca lled th e Docto r, who zips about tim e and space in hi s TARDI S (That's 'Tim e and Rel;llive Dim ensions in Space') , saving plan ets, ba tt li ng monsters and showi ng bored yo ung ladi es (a nd so metim es John Barro wman) th e wond ers of th e cosmos. The key to the shows longevity (it started in I963, after all ) is th e co ncept of rege nerati onwhen he's about to di e, th e Doctor ca n chan ge hi s whole body wh il st still bein g the same man , whi ch is joll y hand y and a bit cool too. Doctor Wh o reg ul arl y return ed to o ur scree ns in 2005 , aft er 16 years away, and has enjoyed a well -dese rved renaissance, beco min g th e centre- piece of th e BBC O ne schedul es. Th e Sixth Seri es sin ce th e rev iva l materi ali sed onto our sc ree ns th is Easter, with former UEA student Matt Smith clearl y lovin g every minut e of his seco nd yea r as Th e Eleve nth Doc tor. Th e openi ng two- pa rt story, Th e Imposs ibl e Astro naut and Th e Da y of th e Moo n, was a dark, dra mati c and un ash<J medl y

int elligent beginnin g to th e seri es. Lovingly craft ed by head writer Steven Moffal (He does Sherl ock too), drops th e Doc to r, hi s fri end Amy Pond (Karen Gill an), her erstwhi le hu sba nd Ro ry (A rth ur Da rvill ) and the eni gm<J ti c Ri ver So ng (A iex Kin gston), int o a co mpellin g mys.tery in vo kin g th e terri fy in g 'S ilence', the I%9 Moon Land ings, Pres ident Nixo n and an unex pected death. "... it still remain s as cl ever, confident a nd entertaining as a nythin g el se on TV." Whilst th e show does now seem to be ove rl y obsessed wit h fo regroundin g the pa radoxes of tim e travel as a narrati ve devi ce, it sti ll remain s as clever, confid ent and ent erta ini ng as anythin g else on TV. M<J tt Smith is <J n enchantin g leadin g man , and the stand ard of writing, cinematograph y and prod uct ion design is sim ply ext rao rd inary. With an epi sode writt en by fantasy lege nd Ne il Ga im an and th e J-cve<J I of th e ide ntity of th e elusive River So ng to look forward to, now is the tim e to hop on-boa rd the TARD IS and enj oy 1\ritish TV at it s best. Matt Tidby

DOWNLOAD> Campus Channel 4 Tuesday 1Opm

Created by the t eam behi nd Green Wing, Campus follows t he humorou s going s-o ns of a unive rsity ca mpu s from the perspecti ve of the staff, settin g up a wid e range of poss ible 'kerfuffle s' t o be had. lt has to be sa id th at its link to Green Wing is both a ble ssing and a curse; be ing compared to such a critica ll y accla imed show with such a strong cult fo ll owing wi ll create an in stant audience.Some might say that Campus should be judged indep e ndent ly and as t he series is cont inuing it's getting funnier and less forced, but the polarizing character of Vi ce Chance ll or Jonty de Wolfe smack s of th e unwa nted G.W character pi le. The surrea l and bi zarre elem e nt that wa s mostl y found in G.W 's Sue White is present in him, but he's also incredi bly racist and sexist . A far more offens ive Dav id Brent, he uses accents and stereotypes as well as offe nsi ve words for va rious kinds of people . Th ere's disag reem e nt over wheth er this is disgusting or hilari ous but it's ce rtainly gone past ridi culous. We shouldn 't j ust focu s on hi m; it tu rn s out t hat the nerdy mat hs lecture r is possibly striking up a love tri a ngle with the post grad stud e nt a nd th e 'sexy' English lay -ab out,

A tribute to the man behind the nation's favourite sitcom ... Dubbed "The Di ckens of Co medy'; John Sulli va n was th e crea to r and writer of man y Rr itish com edy classics incl udin g Citizen S111 ith , just Good Friends and of co urse arguabl y the nation's f<Jvourite and most loved sitco m Only Fools and Horses. At its peak it wo uld be watched by 20 milli on viewers, a fea t th at can only ever be reached today, by wo rldw ide events such as th e ro yal weddin g. Only Fools 11nd 1/om路s follows th e loveabl e Tro tter Broth ers, whi ch co nsists of De l Boy and Rodn ey runnin g their 'dodgy' busin ess Trotter's In dependent Traders out of the now iconic, three wheel yellow van, in their effort s to beco me "millio naires" by th e nex t yea r. Unli ke many sitcoms today, it stru ck a chord with th e British publi c as we as a n

audi ence co uld relate to <1 11 th e tri <J is and tr ibu lati ons, th e brothers fa ced ove r th e yea rs. Which is more tha n li kely due to the fac t th at mu ch of O nl y Foo ls and Horses was based on Sulli va n's ow n ex periences, of li vin g as a working ci<Jss f<1 mil y in Lo ndon. Sulliva n was abl e to crea te a heart fe lt and ge nuin ely affec ti onate rei<J tion shi p between th e brothers Del and Rodn ey. Wi th Del willing to lay down his li fe fo r his brother, in one memorab le episode Del defend s and is willin g to take a bea tin g for his brother. Sulli van also crea ted pure, laugh out loud co medy gold from the unforgettable chandeliers fallin g dow n, to th e classic Del f<J II ing through th e bar. He created th e memorable c<J tchphrases of "lovely jubi lee" and " Rodn ey yo u plonker" as well as addin g

in a touch of French lin gue in th e form of Del boy, co inin g th e phrases bonj our, bonjo ur or mange tout (my pleas ure) at any poss ible moment . Alth ough Only Fools 111ul Horses ori gina ll y ai red in th e 1980s, the show is a timeless class ic th at has beco me sea mlessly interwove n in British telev ision hi story. With two successful spin-off shows Th e Green Green Crn.'s <J nd the prequ el Uock and Chips, there is sti ll a cl ear interest and appea l in th e charac ters and show today. The makin g of a cl ass ic co medy sitco m tha t can be watc hed tim e and time again is a n in credible fea t and is clea rl y th e marking of a tru e co medy geniu s th at will never be forgo t.

Natasha Golley

Matt Dee r who th e VC ca lls 'Profe ssor Quee r'. Yes, real ly. Also, th e adm in random s are swe et a nd a re beginnin g t o inte ra ct with th e oth e r ch a racters whi ch can't hurt . Everyo ne's beginning to sprout person a litie s' " It has to be sa id th at its link to Green Wing is both a bless ing and a curse; being compa red to such a criti ca lly acclai med show with such a stron g cult foll ow ing will create an instant audience."

Other pos it ives? It's good to see British comedy is t rying a bit ha rder to co mpete with the invasion of Ameri can quality, but th ey can 't stop here. They can't be so lazy as to use suc h simi la r cha ract ers to G. W' Plu s they missed out AIan Stath am played by the brilliant Mark Heap who is probably one of the best parts of the show. Are the writers foo li sh as we ll as la zy' Simp ly put, don 't down load Camp us right now, download Green Wing instead . Then again, the latter was probab ly t hought of as " Tea chers set in a hospita l". Natalie Stephenson


I sue 256


~l~Ot=h~M~a~y~2~0~11~----------------------------------------------------------------------~~---~-W__~ 9

The Sound of Music This issue, Venue takes a look at the musical madness, taking over TV.

Buffy the Vam

Glee Monday E4, 9pm

After the success of teen franchise 1/igh School Musical, there was a gap in the market for a music show which could appeal to many ages. Step forward Glee. With its medley of misfits, Glee portrays the minefield that is an American high chool - ib characters struggling with life, love and 'slushie' facials. A smart move was replacing invisible Matt with new favourites Sam 'Bieber' Evans and Lauren Zize . It has also been refreshing to see the talents of Brittany and Mike Chang take on a more prominent role. When discussing Glee, it is impossible not to mention Sue ylvester. With the way that )ane Lynch's wonderful/horrible creation attack路 students. It is surprising that she is allowed to set foot in a school, let alone teach there. The show would be at a loss without her put-downs, especially ones which concern

Will Schuester's curly locks. However, the programme does have a few negatives. Some episodes this serie have been disappointing and a few songs uninspiring. Having said that, the mash-ups are genius and the regionals episode, in which the cast sang original songs, was heart-warming. One worry is that the characters will fall flat in time and that the plot will weaken during a third series. If ew Directions lose at nationals they will be disheartened once again, but if they win where will the storylines head? Nevertheless, Glee provides viewers with light-hearted fun and so should be enjoyed while it's still at its peak.

Beth Wyatt

That 70's Show

So from the outset just to warn you - do not expect good singing. This i n't opera, this is comedy actors being funny and also attempting to do some song-singing. And it is funny! Fez is in a school musical pageant and his enthusiastic imagination helps the music spread into his life. Of course only suitably 70s songs are used. "Happy Together" originally by the Turtles is a literal dazzler with cheesy special effects and dancing abound. The most amusing part of the episode is probably seeing the grumpy father, Red Forman, breaking out into song, especially as you ee in the outtakes that he struggled the most. It's nice to only hear him talk of putting his foot in someone\ arse once or twice for a

Nowadays, almost every TV show out there has done a musical episode. But, as with high school girls in love with sexy brooding vampires, Buffy was doing it before it was cool. And for a long time, whenever a new show announced their foray into the world of showtunes and choreographed dance moves, comparisons were made to the season six episode, 'Once More, With Feeling', as one of the originals. Sure, as it approaches its tenth birthday, it's beginning to look a little dated. But for all the closet Buffy fans, still secretly debating the time-old question of Angel vs. Spike, it will always have a special place in their hearts. Buffy was consistently a show which tried to push boundaries and do new things, which is one of the reasons

it remains popular today- it created an icon. Any strong female leads (sadly lacking in most current television) are still compared to sassy, beautiful, kick-ass Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Geller). And 'Once More, With Feeling' was another of the show's triumphs, with catchy tunes, and often surprisingly strong vocals. But it wasn't JUSt a musical for musicals' sake. The array of styles were all tailored to the characters' own personalities, and furthered not only the plot of the episode, but many of the series' current story arcs. Huge emotional secrets were revealed as they helplessly sang their feelings, with repercussions lasting the entire series . And it was all rounded off with a rousing number and dazzling kiss. Perfect. AmyAdams

Grey's Anatomy

change. His dad dancing wasn't too terrible, either. The slight problem is that with the show being a tiny 21 minutes, fitting the 5 songs in makes it feel a little squashed. It makes Glee look quite impressive with their arrangement of epic ballads and emotional showtunes. It also means th at witty banter is minimal but what the hell, they shot 20-odd episodes across 1000 seasons (exaggeration, yes!) so we shouldn't complain. It adds some new spice to what turned out to be a long lived show. An episode to re-watch if only to see Fez (Wilmer Valderrama) sing badly with a lisp.

Natalie Stephenson

In all honesty season seven of Grey's A11ntomy seemed promising. That was until the creator, Shonda Rhimes, used the shooting bloodbath from the Season ix finale as an excuse to increase the show's melodrama to unimaginable heights. Dr. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez) has had a dramatic love life, she is pregnant by her best-friend, Dr. Mark Sloan (Eric Danes), while at the same time is trying to cope with the return of her lesbian lover, Dr. Arizona Robbins (Jessica Capshaw). During a fight in the car on the way to a romantic getaway, Ariwna proposes. Though before we get an answer their car crashe into a truck. Thus begins the musical episode. The music is revealed through Callie's

out of body experience while she watches her and her unborn baby fight for survi\al. The medical jargon gets complicated and the storyline is already insanely overdramatic, but the singing makes the episode. Having chosen songs made famous by the show and lead by Sara Ramirez (a Tony award winner) it is astounding to hear how well these television actors sing. This musical episode could be compared to marmite: you either love it or hate it. If you do watch make ure you have a box of tissues by your side; Jessica Capshaw's emotional performance alone made me cry within five minutes of watching. Kathryn Deighan









The desert exists in every direction, forever. There are no walls, no fences, and for as long as I've been here I've never seen the same rock or valley or cactus twice. I tread across the harsh sand softly, wearing light socks and no shoes. My clients are extremely sensitive to vibrations, especially when sleeping, and a light touch is required at all times. I wear a thin white suit and a large brimmed hat. In my right hand, I'm holding a pair of steel tongs, and in the other I have a plastic bucket filled with mice. The mice are lightly sedated and can't do anything more than squirm whenever I tilt the container. Every ten steps I stop and extract a mouse from the bucket with the tongs, and drop the animal down onto the ground. The mice are disorientated by the bright light and extreme heat, and if they're not too heavily drugged they will stumble towards the nearest rock, looking for shade. This is, unfortunately, where most of the clients can be found during the day and the mice are swiftly devoured. The desert lasts forever and my bucket of mice never comes close to being empty. I'm unsure whether this constitutes the whole of Mouse Hell, or if there are other subdivisions that I'm unaware of. Mice get eaten by an awful lot of animals, so I'd presume that Mouse Hell overlaps with at least Cat and Owl Heaven to some extent. Snakes eat mice too, if I remember correctly. Murphy, who's been here longer than any of us, says that certain snake species used to be included in Tarantula Heaven, although there were lots of complaints from the clients and eventually an identical but separate desert was created for the aforementioned snakes. Politics. As I approach the next outcrop I see a few of the clients are awake and waiting for me in the lengthening patch of shade. One of them rears up and waves its fuzzy legs in dismay. 'Waiting,' it says, straight into my head, 'been waiting.' 'Yo,' I reply, 'it's meant to be Pete out here. I'm covering him as well today, alright? Just let's be cool about this.' 'Waiting,' says another of the spiders.

'Ham,' remarks Burroughs, pushing a strand of black hair back behind her ear.

'Mice now.'

'That's right,' I reply.

'Man feed. Feed feed.'

'I got tuna fish,' she says. She holds up her sandwich. Burroughs only ever want s to talk about lunch.

'Waiting.' 'Alright be cool, be cool. Here. Here it is.' I dip the tongs into the bucket and let fly with rodent bodies. The mice - brown, grey, black - hit the dust with small thumps and are immediately pounced upon by the spiders, who don't even bother to say thanks. The drugged animals don't have a chance to get away, the


clients wasting no time in draping their forelegs around their prey and sinking their fangs into the neck or back. The moral questions raised by th is job are considerable. I think what bugs me the most is - what exactly constitutes a good tarantula? Was there a tarantula bible that I was unaware of? Do they have commandments? Thou shalt hide in .holes. Thou shalt eat the flesh of the mouse. Tarantula shall never kill tarantula. Boy tarantula may not lie with boy tarantula, for that is sin. Then there's the mice. How do mice sin? Did they speak out against God in between shitting under my floorboards a11d chewing their way into my cereal packet? What exactly did they do to deserve an eternal cycle of being eaten by spiders and then reappeari ng in my bucket? If someone has the answer to these questions, they are obviously a lot higher up the chain than anyone I've met. Another hundred steps, another ten distributions of mice, and my buzzer goes off for break time. Hey, I do get breaks here. This isn't Hell. I'm just on probation. I do my time, feed the clients, and eventually I get my ticket to the big white gates. I also get cooked meals three times a day. I reach out with my righ t hand, find the silvery handle of a door hanging in the air and pull it open, stepping into the steel cold dining room. The dining room is white and silver and exists in every direction, forever. The air smells of honey and soft music plays from speakers on the ceiling. We're not in Heaven but I know that when we're here we are closer. I queue with the other workers, all of whom are wearing white. Nobody talks. I find that I'm holding a plastic tray although I don't remember being given one. The chef is made of golden tubes that run路with fire. His wings are folded behind him; jeweled eyes blink amongst the feathers. He gives me brown bread, slices of ham, broccoli, baked beans, custard and j am for dessert. As always I find that there's a seat empty right next to me and I sit down to eat. I'm sitting with Burroughs and Hugh and some other men that I don't know.

'I had that yesterday,' I say. Burroughs thinks that we're in Hell. Sometimes when I'm walking through the desert with my bucket of mice I wonder if she's right. When it's lunch time I'm sure she's wrong. Hell wouldn't have baked beans. 'Do you think we'll get lunch in Heaven?' asks

Hugh. 路 'I would imagine so,' I say. Hugh only ever wants to talk about Heaven. 'I'm not so sure,' he says. 'How so?' One of supervisors drifts overhead. The so u n d s beat of her wings like a distant waterfall. Our steel table is briefly bathed

in golden light and the smell of fresh cut grass. 'You never see the supervisors eating,' says Hug h. 'They eat manna,' says Burroughs.

'Feed feed.'

'They don't eat anything,' says Hugh 'because consumption is sin. lt's not our fault though, because we were made to eat.'

They follow me, flowing across parade. They wave at me and grasp at the trousers, trying to get


'Man feed now.'

'Which is why,' he says, 'I'm not eating anything anymore. If we cease to consume we will enter Heaven.'

'Very bad.'

Hugh is always full of this stuff. Desperate to find some way of tricking the system, to get a sniff of those white gates. When it becomes clear he's serious about this, I take his biscuits and avocado and Burroughs takes his black pudding. We chat shit for a while and then the buzzer goes again. Burroughs looks pained. She works in Shark Heaven, which I'm led to understand is a rough gig. I give her a nod goodbye - doesn't pay to get too close - and step back into the desert. The noise and smell and coolness of the dining room is cut off and the heat closes around me like a fevered grasping harid. I am carrying the bucket of mice and the tongs are once again held in my gloved right hand. I start to walk. I don't know in what direction and I've decided it doesn't matter. I do ten paces, twenty, thirty. I don't lift any of the mice out of my bucket. None of my clients are fed. I am not a productive cog in the afterlife engine. After seventy, eighty paces, the clients start to become restless. This is their paradise, this is their eternal rest and joy. They demand fresh prey and they demand that it be regular. They hear their caretaker pass but the prey is not provided. The clients are disturbed and they begin to emerge from their holes. 'Wait,' they say. 'Not proper.'

bodie s I sand in grim their forelegs back of my

'Is rest. Our place.' 'You feed us.' I turn around to look at the clients. There are at least a hundred now, squatting on the sand and rocks. I wave the silver tongs at them. 'I'm not feeding you anymore,' I tell them. 'What what?' 'I refuse to be part of this anymore,' I say, 'I don't see why your heaven should be someone else's hell. Why is your heaven eating these mice?' 'Eat nice.' 'We like.' 'Well I'm not doing it anymore,' I say. They start to clamor and complain. I expect one of them will lodge a message with the supervisors. Let them. I'm not doing this anymore. I'll even become a part of Leech Heaven if they want, but I'm not helping create a heaven built on suffering and consumption. Spiders can't sin, and neither can mice. I think the only one creating the sin here is me. I walk on across the desert that exists fo rever and I feel at peace. After a while I see something, far away on the horizon. lt's very small, and a pure glowing white. I start to walk towards it.






Issue 256 lOst May 2011

This academic year has been a relatively high-quality one for video games. The staple annual releases return with the likes of Fifa a nd Call of Duty, but there has also been an injection of new titles such as Bulletstorm, the MMO Rift for the PC and Super Meat Boy on the Xbox Live Arcade. What follows is a list of the top three all round games of the academic year, the Class of 2011, the honours students if you will. Narrowing the vast release catalogue down to three has been very difficult indeed and here are the rest of the Wired Top 10: 10. Mortal Kombat 9. Dead Space 2 8. Assassins Creed: Brotherhood 7. Super Meat Boy 6. Killzone 3 5. World ofWarcraft: Cataclysm 4. Call of Duty Black Ops

their skills. New features for this edition includes the ability to play as the goalkeeper in player pro mode. This, however, is not recommended unless you enjoy the sensation of standing in a field watching twenty people run around in front of you. NevertheJess, modes such as the Ultimate Team do posses very addictive characteristics. In this mode you collect and trade virtual trading cards containing players, kits, stadiums, and balls. Th is mode allows players to trade and play with each other over Xbox Live or PSN. Overall Fifa 11 is the most complete edition of the series so far with players being able to sink many, many hours into the "beautiful gam e'~ However, if you have not bought it yet you might as well wait till Fifa 12's ..._ release in October. \



#3 Fifa 11: Just beating Black Ops to the number three spot is Fifa 11, a staple for any student with a PS3 or Xbox 360 sin1ply because it is such a great communal game. EA Sports fine tuned the playing mechan ics of the game this year / leading it to overtake the Pro Evolution series in game play realism . teams a nd number of game features leads players to h aemorrh age honing

#2 Sid Meier's Civilisation V: '\ The Civilisation series has been an essential part of any \ PC owner's catalogue for rr.any years now but Civilisation ' V has reached new levels of greatness. One could play on this game for many years and never fu lly complete it or touch on all the depths of the gameplay system. Again like Fifa 11, Civ V is highly addictive; one campaign alone could take -. up well in excess of six hours. The graphics a r e wonderful and act to maintain the slightly cartoony

On Wednesday 20th April Sony's Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable online service, Playstation N etwork (PSN), was taken offline. This seemingly unannounced and unexpected move threw the gaming world into chaos, as that very weekend two of the years big hitters, Portal2 and Mortal Kombat, launched worldwide and millions of users were left unable to play them to their full potential. Having noticed that their security systems had been broken, Sony switched off their online service to investigate and repair. After nearly a week of being offline (and with promises being made about its return after some large scale maintenance), Sony revealed easily the worst gaming press release of the year; over 70 million passwords and account details had been taken, and along with that the possibility of all registered credit and debit cards. For a service that has more registered users than the entire population of the Un ited Kingdom, that's one hell of a big deal. What makes this a key issue for the year is not that Sony profusely claims that users data was encrypted on their system, nor is it that to use a credit card on PSN you need to enter the cards security code, something that PSN

does not store on the system. What makes it a key issue is that in an w h ere everything is done using the internet, on the mover or using a computer; it brings a crushing realisation that maybe even now we aren't quite ready for the technology we have forged for ourselves. 77 million accounts is not taken something to baulk at, nor something to be taken lightly; it is an issue that needs wider coverage as it could happen to millions more who use t h e Apple App Store or the Android Marketplace. Unfortunately for Sony the PSN hack hasn't been the end of the confusion, now Sony Online Entertainment (SOE) (which is responsible for its online PC gaming market, with titles like Everquest and DC Online),

The game play style of the series. is enthralling as players strive to dominate the world in one of many ways in c l uding wiping out all other civilisations or build ing a is almost space ship. It impossible to W1n without entering combat with your opposition ,but the system has been tremendously, a l most to the level where players are driven to seek out war with opposing factions. T h i s game is absolutely remarkable on all levels showing that the PC is still relevant as a gaming platform as it would be impossible for a game of this complexity and magnitude to exist on the consoles. An absolute must for anyone with a PC capable of r unning ~t. # 1 Portal2: Portal 2 is yet another achievement for Valve. Portal 2 goes to great lengths to show that games really can compete with films, theatre, and literature as a comprehensive art form. It is clear to see the lengths to which the developers have gone to create a truly spectacular experience. Many critics ' have commented on the relatively short campaign length. However, a play through of both the single player and niultiplayer campaign will

has lost the details and credit cards information of around 17 million users, and so has been taken offline to be repaired. Nicely enough Sony realise they have to do a lot to regain trust. consumer They are starting by giving a years free subscription to anti-fraud service, as well as givin g all PSN users a month of Playstation (a bonus subscription service), and on top of that PS3 users have the choice of two out of four free games from PSN, and PSP users get a similar offer on PSP downloadable games. Sony are saying that the network will be up shortly but at the time of going to press the network is still down. Vaughn Highfi.eld

take· around ten to twelve hours. The graphics are superb with huge u nd ergro u n d

2011 has been the year for technology. It's been full of new and exciting inventions that have and will shape the future. Already its been the boom of 30 TV technology, the start of smaller and faster computer chips for better and faster smartphones. 2011 has even been the year where 3D has been surpassed by hologram imagery, although that is something still in massive R&D, but it shows that this year already is the year where the wind of change start for the technology industry. However alongside these great strides in the technology world there have been many fumbles, some fumbles that seem to have managed to still garner praise from some, and other inventions that just crash and burn. Wired has put together three of the popular technologies that ultimately aren't worth the time of day yet people use them, abuse them and will clamber over others just to get their grubby mitts all over those shiny exteriors.

2's various test chambers. The puzzles are varied and enjoyable, wh ile still challenging the gamer. Players cannot help but get the feeling that this game was created by people more intelligent than themselves. Another area that stands out is the fa ntastic voice acting that runs throughout. Steven Merchant and J. K. Simm ons of Spider man and }uno fame provide humour and wit throughout the campaign. The game m echanics are fundamentally gratifying, underpinning this great experience. T here are few things more pleasing in video games than using portals, #3 SonyEricsson Xperia Play and orange and blue liquid to p ropel yourself Known to many as the Playstation Phone, though the air after spending fifteen minutes -and the worst kept technology seGret in the last working how to get to that point. Portal 2 is few years. Sony's fittle portable phone baby an early front runner for game of year and it runs on the latest Google Android Operating is a truly fantastic example of what the video System (Gingerbread), boasts a very nice 4 game medium ca n achieve. inch AMOLED screen for high resolution images and if that wasn't enough tucked JoshMott

The UEA's Ahime Society and Games Society joined forces late last semester to raise money for charity as part of the Union-backed Charity Week. They did this by putting their best skills to use and holding a video games event, involving casual multip layer exploits as well as a tournament. With a range of platforms to hand, from N64 to P$3, eight courageous twoplayer teams stepped up from the crowd and matched their skills in Rock Band, GoldenEye, Street Fighter and more, battling for glorious victory and the ultimate prize - a £ 10 voucher each. In a display of great dedication to the cause, the winners of the tournament chose to donate those prizes to charity. There was also an auction which raised £90 (thanks in no small part to Ha ruhi Suzumiya). In total, their combined shenanigans were able to raise over £300 for Alzheimer's Research UK. As the President of AnimeSoc put it: "With our powers combined, we are epically epic! Thanks to everyone who was there and to anyone who offered support! " The groups hope to hold a similar event next year.


and back facing camera, long battery life and a newer processor. Sounds like Apple are onto a winner doesn't it? However despite it sell:ng and leaving Apple Stores across , the country looking like they had been hit by a natural disaster it was a rather lacklcstre product. Tablets that were already on the market surpassed the abilities of the iPad 2 and for many people using Android is much more accessible than Apples integrated OS. Ultimately as market pioneers, Apple should have taken the tablet market a huge leap forward again, rather than just updating theirs to the standards of its competition. #1 (Any location check in thing)

#2 iPad 2 Here is a successor to something that many ultimately called pointless in the first place. The iPad was revolutionary, and as usual Apple saw a market space, created it and now rule it. However the iPad may have been the tablet everybody was after, probably purely down to aesthetics and marketing, but it was quickly made obsolete by its competitors. The arrival of the iPad 2 on the tablet scene should have surely fixed t his situation, and placed Apple squarely back on top to quash those who believed their product to be superior. The problem is it didn't The iPad2boasted a thinner profile, a front

Ok this is a little bit of a cop-out seeing as it isn't a single product or invention, and some of them have been around sine before 2011, however many have only come into prominent use this year. In case you are not aware these applications allow the user to 'check in' at a location and gain points or inform others that they have 'checked in' at these places. Applications like Foursquare allow one person to

Some of the best, m ost interesting or just downright funny people tweeting right now!

Here's one of the choice facebook groups doing rounds at the moment!


@wavveswavves - San Diego based noise/ surfer rock band Wavves's official Twitter feed. Alongside your staple up and coming bands tweets about local shows and album updates, this account is used to exprelll" the everday views of the band. It ranges ft;oethe insults flug between them to 6e and often hilarious, observatio01 interaction happening 'IA:NIIld,W you aren't a fan of the UMIIIJI!III~!'IIP" will continually am111e you.

I hate it when people ask for extra paper in exams. WTF are you writing!?

@Garbodor - He's big...he's mean and he's made of your arbodor is ·one bad-ass Po newest entries in the series (Pokemon Black & White for those interested) and ranks in at #569 in the. national Pokedex, but that hasn't stopped Garbodor from tweeting like he is king of the world. Always campaigning for a Garbodor takeover of Twitter and routinely dismissing all other Pokemon as weaker than the m ighty Garbodor! Its a pipeline directly into that garbage bag of a mind Garbodor has.

William Moran

away underneath it all is the iconic Sony Playstation pad for playing gam es. Sounds pretty wonderful r ight? It even comes preloaded with five games from the Playstation Store for free! Shame the entire thing was such a shamble. . Both Vodafone and 02 delayed launch of the ha ndset as it did not meet their quality standards on law1ch. As for the Playstation functionality of the phone its severely limited to PS 1 games that have been up loaded and any curr<:ntly compatible titles. You cannot use your previously purchased PSN titles or PSI titles on it either. Surely something with the clout of Playstation should be superbly integrated?

You're staring at the page, wondering what the hell you are going to write, you look around and there is someone already asking for another work booklet. TWELVE PAGES already steamed through! Your mind starts to wonder what the hell they need more booklets for? Maybe their writing is just massive, literally 3 words a page... Maybe they like to draw pictures after each paragraph, or maybe they are just writing absolute rubbish. This group sympathises completely with you. Its a place of appreciation and wonder at what these people are actually writing. At least its a nice distraction

We've all been there, you're sat browsing the web and you come across a film or a TV series you have always wanted to watch. Yet you would rather watch it on your TV so . you can see it comfortably, maybe even your housemates want to get involved, and your PS3 doesn't want to play the format so it looks like your only option is to huddle round the computer screen. Not anymore. Boxee is a free to download program for Windows, Linux an d OSX that collects all the programs and films freely available online and easily converts it so you can watch it on your tv via your lap top! With added applications such as Mubi and N etflix Boxee can become your central media hub via your laptop entirely for free!

become a 'mayor' of a location for signing in more than anybody else at that place. All sounds like a little bit of fun between friends but then Facebook got on board, even Twitter has managed to jump onto the location locomotive. Thanks to location ch eck in apps built into Twitter and Facebook on iPhones, Blackberry's a11d Android devices, a Facebook news feed can become a torrent of who's done what and where. A stalker's dream. However unless you are that aforementioned stalker this is by far the single most annoying deve l opment of technology ever created. Who ca res if you've just popped to the Tesco that's not down your road but in fact the next road over! Or if you tweeted something about the events happening in Lybia but in fact you are sat in your comfy home in the Midlands? It seems pointless to include such a feature into anything you do unless you want to tell all those you know that now would be the ideal time to rob you blind, because you just popped out to the cinema unexpectedly for the evening. Va ughn High field

Fun links to pass the time between socialising and learning. Oli andAlex. (James' Face) This is just one article on a blog full of brilliance. Oli and A!ex are work colleagues partners in fun and have apparently never kissed. (Aiex is a girl, incase you didn't know). Their blog is all about observations from their jobs or the mischievous fun they have between them. James' Face post is especially fun because it takes facebook photos of Oli and ever so slightly changes them giving them a completely different and hilarious tone. Check it out if you want to bum some minutes between revision. You Might Like This The name of the site describes practically what it contains, things you might find interesting. Various witty articles ranging from beautiful photography to the weird and wonderful lives of those Americans who jump into shows like Jerry Springer and Maury. Its a mish mash of excellence...


WATER FOR ELEPHANTS • • • • • ••••••••••••••• • • • :Oir: Francis Lawrence ••• !Release Date: 4/511 1 • • "' •••• • •••••• • ••••• • ••

old-fashioned aesthetic, with the breathtaking set designs and costumes, that seem to be a rare treat in an industry filled with CGI and 3D films.



The hotly anticipated Water For Elephants is an adaptation ofSara Gruen's best-selling novel which revolves around the life of )acob )ankowski, played by I Iollywood heartthrob Robert Pattinson. Starting as an old man in a nursing home, )ankowski casts his mind back to the 1930s where, whilst studying to become a vet he is told that his parents have died in a car crash. Riddled with grief and battling surmounting debts he runs away to join the circus, using his veterinary skills to earn himself a job. However, don't let this mislead you, the film and circus itself is rather





displays the circus performers somersaults and acrobatics, adding a sense of awe and magic. The actors all give good performances, Robert Pattinson fits surprisingly

dark and twisted, headed up by August (Christoph Watlz) the paranoid schizophrenic ringleader who gives a but chilling wonderful performance following on from Hans Lander in Inglorious Basterds. A first choice for any upcoming psychotic roles as he switches from charming to


well into the time period and is fa r from the pale, brooding Cullen character Edward which is lucky, and both Jacob )ankowskis {the old Jacob played by I la] I Iofbrook) do a good job of stitching their roles together to create the lapse in time. But the actors are perhaps upstaged occasionally by Rosie the elephant. Not to say the humans are boring but

intimidating in a second. Rounding up the leading (Reese trio is Marlena Witherspoon) the wife of August who begins a doomed love affair with Jacob and has some of the most glamorous costumes in the whole picture. What makes the fi lm special and a pleasure to watch is that

it's not everyday you see such a large creature perform tricks with such elegance and ease. Unable to compare tl1e film to tl1e novel personally, word arow1d the water cooler is that it loses some of its charm but was adapted well enough to capture most of what the book was about and flows smoothly from one scene to another. The film itself is certainly enjoyable and doesn't leave you unsatisfied. It will most likely attract women; the casting of Pattinson coupled with the epic romance, secures a certain niche audience but that shouldn't stop others from giving it a try as you'll be guaranteed a beautiful film and a magical experience. Radosava Radulovic



! Dir: David Gord on Green ! !Release Date: 13/4/11 !

•• ..:*** •••••••••••••• • • ••••• With an opening scene that sees our hero being chased by a whole village of angry midgets, you immediately know what you're in for with

Your Highness. Directed


Express's • David


Gordon Green, this medieval comedy never pretends to be anything but completely ridiculous. The laid back stoner, Prince Theodus (Danny McBride) has always stood in the shadow of his dashing, heroic elder brother Prince Fabeous (James Franco). Resigned to his fate as the underdog, the most daring escapade Theodus embarks upon is chasing sheep and, of course, women. However, all

this changes when Fabeous's beautiful fiancee (Zooey Deschanel) is captured by the evil wizard Leezar (Justin T heroux) and Theodus are forced to join Fabeous on a dangerous quest to save her. Along the way they meet sexy warrior princess Isabel (Natalie Portman) and the three face everything from monsters to paedophilic sorcerers. Sporting mock British accents and prancing around the countryside in ridiculous medieval outfits this film is nothing but a bit of fun. Reliant upon relentless stoner gags and crude innuendos it is certainly not the smartest comedy you'll see this year. But it is certainly capable of providing some light relief from revision. Lorna Pontefract

••••••••••••••••• • •••

!Dir: Catherine Hardwicke : !Release Date: 15/4/ ll :

:* ..


••••• ••••• ••••• • •• ••• Red Riding Hood, d irected by Catherine 1-Iardwicke, is an adaptation of the wellknown fairy tale, Little Red Riding 1-Jood. The storyline is that a small village is terrorized by a werewolf until someone arrives to save the village from this monstrous beast. Unfortunately, it does not live up to the standards of such a classic fa irytale story. The script is simply diabolical, with corny catchphrases and horribly overdone moments; it just fails. The acti ng is more horrifying than the so called threat of the 'big bad wol f'. Amanda Seyfried tries to extract sympathy fro m the

audience but simply doesn't succeed. The two male leads seem to havke been casdt mere1y on 1oo s as oppose to talent and unfortunately, not even Gary Oldman can save this train wreck. The only thing saving this film from being a complete fai lure is the cinematography which is incredibly inspiring and outstanding. Hardwicke also directed Twilight, which, disappointingly, was actuaJly a better film than this. Although it is not its inten tion, this film will cause you to laugh, so if you're looking for a good piece of entertainment that is light-hearted and you can ignore the underrated script and awful acting then this is the film for you. Sam an th a Roger s

• ••• •• ••••• •• ••••••••

: Director: Kenneth Bran agh: of Asgard. Anthony Hopkins :Release Date: 27/4/ l l : as Odin, Thor's and Loki r : father provides the necessary • ••••• • • ••• • •• • • •••• : Shakespearian gravitas for tl1e Kicking off the summer Norse tale. T he greatest achievement blockbuster season is the latest movie from Marvel of this film is that it does Studios, Thor. not take itself too seriously; The film begins with it is trying to be enjoyable astrophysicist Jane Foster and nothing more. It is not (NataliePortman)discovering making any new ground Thor (Chris Hemsworth) in in cinema but is overall, the New Mexico desert after more than anything fun. he falls from the sky through Do not go in expecting the some strange celestial worm director, Kenneth Branagh's hole. After this the story more familiar Shakespearian flashes back to the visually tendencies because here you spectacular Asgard to tell the will almost definitely enjoy grand back story of the God yourself. Branagh does a great ofThunder. job of making this slightly Thor comes to be farfetched comic book hero banished from Asgard for movie very entertaining and his foolish ways and finds it will please all including himself o n earth while his Marvel fan boys. jealous brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) takes the throne Josh Mott



Q. D.EO. ~


••Director: • • • • • • •Zack • • •Snyder • • • • • • • • •• ••Release Date: 1/4/11 • •• •

•••••••••••••••••••• Sucker Pu11ch marks director Zack Snyder's biggest creative step in the film industry. Combining his own recognised slow motion visual style with a script and story of his own creations and fantasies, his latest film had strong potential to assert Snyder's image and appeal to a host of action-orientated spectators. Disappointingly, Sucker Pu11ch comes up short in trying to maintain a cohesive balance between impressive visual effects and a compelling narrative. The film follows the escapades of young Baby Doll, played by Emily Browning, who is wrongly persecuted for a crime against her abusive father. She is confined to a


mental asylum with a host of other young women where they continue to revert into their own subconscious realities, as a means of escaping the asylum once and for all. Visually speaking, Sucker Punch will satisfy any fans of Snyder's previous works like 300 and Watchmen but undoubtedly at times, the extravagant set pieces can come across as overly stimulating, as if Snyder has constructed a variety of absurd music videos, and he can't quite find a way of making a story out of them. Granted, this is a thoroughly entertaining mayhem of a movie and, despite the plot inconsistencies, it's worth the admission price, so long as you check your brain in at the front door. An drew Wilkins


••Director: • • • • • • •Wes • • •Craven • • • • • • • • •• • • :Release Date: 15/4/11 : •

••• ••••••••••••••••••••• \\'ith the surplus of horror remakes gracing cmcma screens of late, there seemed no better time for \Ves Craven to revive his Scream fr<Jnchise. The original cast reunites for the fourth instalment, which :~imed to deconstruct :~nd scrutinise the conventions of the llollywood remake. In the fifteen years since the harrowing \\'oodsboro massacre, Sidney Prescott ( i'icvc Campbcll) has managed to rebuild her lite and write a successful self~help book. The final leg of her book tour returns Sidncy to her hometown, where she finds herself amidst a new murder case :~t the hands of another movie-obsessed serial killer. This new Chostf:m: follows






a new set of rules, where the murders have to be bigger, bloodier, and more extravagant than before. As with every instalment of the Scream franchise, Scream 4 is undeniably fun. The relentless yet clumsy Ghostfacc, along with the film's self-referential humour, arc as entertaining as ever to watch. Yet Cra\·cn, in setting himself the impossible task, may have shot himself in the foot. The novelty of the original cast reunion wears off quickly and the film is unable to avoid its inescapable predictability. By pointing out that "the unexpected is the new cliche': screenwritcr, Kcvin \'\'illiamson excuses his own shortcomings, but sadly the franchise will never be as sharp as it once was. James Burrough

•••••••••••••••••••• ••Director: Christian E. •• :christiansen • • •• • •••••••••••••••••••• :Release Date: 8/4/11

colleges, R million roommates. Which one will you get? This is the uninspiring taglinc of the uninspiring film The Roommate. The film follows the story of small town girl Sarah ~latthcws (i\ linka Kclly) who moves to L\ to go to college. Sarah's roommate is mentally ill Rcbccca (Goss ip Girls's Leighton ,\ lecstcr ) who becomes obsessed \1 ith Sarah and gets rid of anyone who makes her unhappy. The Roommate doesn't have much to otTer, marketed as a thriller it is far from thrilling. After an hour nothing of note has happened; there has been 2,000

no action and no suspense. lt is only in the last ten

minutes that the film takes ofl but even this is done to a mediocre degree. i\lccstcr does do a good job with the character of Rebecca and she practically shines beside weak, bland 1\linka J..:elly. The film seems confused about its genre; it has some a'>pccts of a thriller, Mlmc of a drama and some or a horror, '-<l as a whole it doesn't really work. Given its lack of anything impressive it is surprisingly watchablc; however this isn't enough to redeem it and after an hour and a half you arc left wandering what it was you just sat through, and hoping you won 't have to do it again.

Helen Jones




•••••••••••••••••••• •Director: Florian Henckel • ••von Donnersmarck • • • :Release Date: 4/4/11 • • • • • • •••••••••••••••••••• llold tight while boat chases and fast cuts dominate this espionage-style film. Angelina )olie stars, playing an individual wanted In connection with her lover Pearcc, who is a criminal who owes money to a gangster named Shaw (Steven Bcrkoff). In a bid to distract Shaw's men and the police from finding the real Pearce, Elise selects rrank ( )ohnny Lkpp ), an American Tourist, as a doppelganger en route to Venice and leads the men after her into confusion. This thriller is full o( comedy and romantic kerfuffles; the kind that is

•Director: Steve An tin

••Release Date: 25/4/11 •


................... ..•

just right fi.1r a star like )olie. Known for her masculine orien ted type roles, )ol ic's character is ultra feminine, mysterious and her dresses arc elegant as she cleverly dodges her pursuers in this film. Contrast this with Depp's comical performance and your laughing throughout; it 's not an obvious choice to sec )olic and De pp together, the attempt seems to work and one that is definitely welcoming after watching the

undcnying screen rapport both have in this story. A visually stunning piece, though it is by von Donncrsmarck, the film could have benefited from more exploration into jolie and Dcpp's characters. Running around the streets and canals o( Venice playing 'hide and seck' leaves the viewer feeling slightly short changed fi.Jr what could have been a more promising plot. Lathaniel Dyer

With the emerging trend of abominably stagnant dancechoreography films such as Street Dnnce, Step Up and Stomp the Yard, it's been a while since Hollywood brought us something with a little more class. The premise of Burlesque, alth ough unsensational, had the potential to be a scanti lydressed, champagne dancing revitalization to the dance layout. Sadly, recrllltlllg Christina Aguilera as the lead protagonist probably isn't the best start. After small-town girl Ali is hired as a waitress in a downtown Burlesque lounge, she soon realises that business

is failing and manager Tess is seriously struggling to keep ownership of the venue altogether. Cue Christina's big chance to step up on stage and save the day with her cute-but-not-so-na'ive dance routines, out of the blue business strategies and notoriously loud set of pipes. Let's admit straight off that this is Cabaret part 2, and there is too much squawking and too little cheeky striptease about it. The et pieces are

pretty, there's a handful of catchy songs and Stanley Tucci and Kristen Bell make welcome additions to the cast. But someone needs to explain why Aguilera's character acts like a conceited princess, screws up a marriage, doesn't learn her lesson and still gets the gorgeous guy in the finale. Recommended only for throwback fans of Cher and Cam Gigandet's abs. Steph McKenna


OM N A nto ' \ V11 ki N"' looks forw.trd to Hobo \\'it lt .\ Slwtgu 11, a fu tu re Grind house dass il' in the m.lkin •. _________' - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Inte rest 111 1/obo with 11 Sh otgun o rigin,dl y emerged shor tl y after the relea se of th e doubl e hil l feature Grinrllw ii.'L'. Thi , joint collab o rati o n by Q ucntin Tarantino and Robcrt Rodri gucz attem pted to rci gnit e audi ence interes t with th e Cri nd lw mc cin ema of th e lat e 1970s wh ere ex ploita tion f·ilm s were released as late n ight do uble

bi ll fea tures. Th ese fi lms were usually chea p in appea ran ce and used violen ce, gore and .-.ex sce nes to dra w in the attenti o n of its a udien ces. Ta ra ntino and Rodri guez combin ed th eir sepa rat e lilm s, Denth Proof a nd PIIIIIL't Terro r, int o a double cin ema release with fake trail ers created as a visual interval between the two fi lms.

O ne such trail er was for <1 lilm ca lled Mll chL'Ic, which rece ived imp ress ive crit ical int eres t. Robcrt Roclriguez went on to wr it e and eo direc t a full length fea ture, rele.1sed in 20 I0 and starr in g Mex ica n hard ma n J) ann y Trcj o as Mac hete Cor tez. t\n o th er success story wa' with 1/obo wi th 11 5/w tgun . Thi s ori gin ated as a trailer submi tt ed in a competit io n

THE PoPCORN CHART Starter for 10 (2006 )

. :;a..

Folloll' Brian hKbon ( )a me' ,\ I c \vm·). as he enrols at th e Ll ni1·ersity of Br isto l. ~et in 19H:i, <1gainst the hackdro11 of Thatcherism , S tr~rter for I0 is a story of holl' ~l n ~1 1 'c r~1 gc scholarship boy fmm 'casid c Lssex wi th a lm·e of knoll' ledgc L'X pcr imcnt ' in hi, lir.' t year at Univcrsit y. ,\t Bristol he tries out l\1r the 'L' n i 1 ·e r,i t ~· ( :hallenge' t c~1111 <liH.l Ltll>umk r th e >pell of ,\lice, hi s se·x uall y promisc uou s lL\1mmate. Thi s Hritish lilm , come d ica ll ~ docum ents the lik of a lirst year studc·nt , ami th e prec io u' hi ghs and loll's of stud ent life. 1\rian's cur ious cockta il mi x up with Jo,·c, d n1gs. prot es ting and l'iolc n<."c will onh· get ~·ou l ~ 1 u g h i n g. remlll!SC! ng, and ' upporting his e1 ery lllOI'C.

llartlcby opts to create his own in>titution or higher learnin g, the South l l ~mmm Institute or Technology, on a rundown pi ece' of f1ropert )' near his ho1net<m·n. Both him and his r,·icnds, incl uding Shcr man ( Jon<1h I Iill ) strive to create ~1 h< 11'ell o r exc iting, student le<1rning. Th e ques ti o n IS , ca n th e\' pull it oil'

Road Trip (2000)

I th ink 1\'e\·calldoncsomct hing we regrL't ~1t Uni ,·e,·, it y, and ir 1\'e'\e· lu cky, it \ no t rcco rLied on lilm . L'rol(lrtunatcly the ' am c cannot be s~1id li1r lush P<11-ker ( Brcck in \ lcyer ). \\'h en lllOI'ing to Uni ve rsit y, aft er he·ing with girlrr icml Tilbny sin ce child hood , )osh hoob up ll' ith sl'X)' blonde llirt lkth , and .1l l i' c.1ptured on 1·ideo c.uner.1. Th i, tape is acc identall y sent to hi s girlfriend Tilbn y, in stL·ad Accepted (2006) of ~1 prev iou sly recorded on e, \\'e all lm·c the L'ni1·crsi tl' with )osh telling her about experience, but wh.ll if yo u L'ni1·crsit y li!C. This in stiga tes a had the opportuni t1· to CI'L\11<.' hil ar ious 2,000-mile road trip your O\\'ll L' ni1ns it1 ·~ \\'ould to Tilbn y's L..:n il·er.,i ty, 11·herc Josh ~1 nd his fr ien ds, in cludin g )'Ill! take· iti 1 \ ~trt l e h y ( ;aines the unliHgc tt ablc U . (Se,mn ()ustin Long) di d just th<1t. \\'illiam Sco tt ) struggle to ,\ l'tcr slacking high school rct1·i c1'l' the e·xpli cit ta1w. amJ being rejcc·tl'd rrom CI'<.TV school he af)pli e>, run-loving

Legall y Blonde ( 200 I ) Thi s one's I(Jr you girl> out th ere. \\'h en blonde sororitv quee n 1:11e \\'oods ( R ec~ c \ \'ithe' rSf10on ) get s dumped by her high-llying boyfrie·nd , she decides to follow hi m to l ~1 w school, to ~1ro 1 ·e her ab il it v and get him back. ,\ rt er get ting into I Lu1·ard , there she k'< 1rlls shL' has more lega l s,\1'\·y th.1n she e1e r imagined, ,llld ' oo n Ule's goa ls become l ~u · more ambiti ous than she e1n intended. Th is L'ni,·crs it y chi ck ili ck brings to o rde r all the gi rl p(l\\'l'r it can muster. ( :ase' cl(hL'<.l.

Van Wilder: Part y Liason (2 002) Th e most f1 0p u i ~H gu1· on G111 1f1Lb, m.1king party ing hi s area of ex pertise, \'~1 n \\'ikkr ( R v~1n l ~ e y n o ld s ) meets a hca util.ul j ourn ~1li s t Cwen ('l;u·a Ik id ) who \\' rit es ~1 1·cry unllattering artick about him . \ \'hik t n ·ing to ll' in he· 1· ove r, \ 'an \\'ikkr da res her to get th e true slOJ'I'. Thi s lilm ofkrs the fnL'n1ise " Ir ,·ou',·e goin g I(J r <1n aLh- ~1n cc d degree in part 1·ing... \\'h1· e'"" You're ~1bout to li nd out.

as part of pro mo ti o n for th e Gri111/ho use feat ure. 1-Jo/Jo wen t on to win th e competition rece JvJn g a sudd en emergen ce of global int erest. Trailer direc to r jaso n Eiscn er vowed to tran sfe r th e trail er to a full length re lease and has sin ce kept his pro mi se with th e film \ Amer ica n release in earl y i\l arch and its LJ K release co min g thi s summ er. The co nfirm ation of Gerll1 <1n star Rutger l lau er as th e 1/obo lea d se nt fan bo )'s int o hys teri cs bcca u>c of h is ca ree r deti nin g and >how stea lin g turn as th e repl ica nt Roy Ratt y in Ridl ey Scot t 's 19H2 sc ience fi cti o n clas> ic, Hi111ic Uun ncr. 1/oiJO '''ith 11 Shotg un looks set to repri se m a n~· of th e success fu l th emes

of o ri gin al grindh o use co nventi o ns, in cl ud in g an emp hasis o n ove rbl own viol ence and a detrimen tal o utl ook o n a n urban society. Th e lilm will follow Rutge r Hauer as an ever yda y hobo who arri ves at iro ny li li ed Ho pe 'I(Hvn to take o n th e likes of croo ks, pa cdo ph iles .llld dru g dea lers who threat en to ove rthro w the town into a d isar ray of vio lence and cr ime. Fan s of popu lar superhcro fra nchi se shou ld W<Hm >t ron gly to thi s Ill m, a' !-l auer's hobo takes on a vigil .mt e role , ak in to th e likes of Batm an and Spid erman . But where Spid crm an uses we b-. and Batm an hi , faith ful l ~a t a r a n g, th e ho bo will rely o n hi s trust y pump-action shot gun to br in g just ice to


th e cri minals th at in fes t and pray o n th e inn oce nt. No do ubt thi s lilm will sa t isfy an yon e wit h a thi rst fo r gritt y viol ence and with a titl e like 1/o/Jo 1vith 11 Sho tgu11 , it's cl ear that thi s film will be a prim e exampl e of ' wha t you sec is wh at yo u ge t.' Des pite th e see min g simpli cit y o f the film , l~ i, c n e r \ dec ision to use th e ou tcast image of a hobo a' a mea ns of clea ning up <111d help in g a crim e ridde n town is an iro ni c and dee ply meani ngfu l o ne . Th e lilm ha s alrea dy gon e o n to hi gh prai se durin g its Canadi an .1 nd Ameri can rclca>c whi ch >hould se rve as a n acc urate precu rso r fo r what is to co me fo r Rut ge r llaucr and hi s 12 ga uge sho tgun when it reaches UK ci n em ~1 s o n th e 22 nd )ul y.

takes a look at some university fl icks that'll keep you from missing UFA too much.

\Vith summer on th e way,



GIG REPORTS By now it's pretty much a giwn fact that can mtth is a cocky little . . od. The last time Concrete came across The Blackout wa for the 2010 Relent! ss Kerrang! Tour when he cheekily insinuated that university students were nothing more than a rabble of drugtaking, traffi cone- stealing nymphomani<Ks. A year later, and a few weeks after the relea e of their tJ-iird full-length album, Hope, fans are out in full force tor The Blackout' sold-out show at the Waterfront. The wall of enthusiasm, completed by armies of young teenagers both girl and boy - in matching make up and black clothes is equally no talgk as it is complete!} morti~·ing. For the opening acts Hyro da I lcro and The wellers, it's undoubtedly a benefit, as the crowd are quite happy to lend , n ear and bounce around aimle sly to their contrasting sounds. Hyro plays an acceptable blend of hip hop wtth heavier rock bas line , but doe n't keep up to par with the 'unique' label he is trymg to pitch. By contrast, Mi higan outfit The wdlers are a welcome pre rncc back in 'or.vich after their fir t vi ·it upporting Young Guns late last year; playing a fast-paced set of pop-punk that harkens back to the days of 90s American melo<iic rock u has }!m my Eat World. When the Blackout take to the stage it's with a posture bold self-assurance that is expectedly met by a barrage of noise. They keep the tension under boil by opening with the new album intro 'Ambition is Critical' before launching into hit ingle 'Children of the ight', complete with chant-along choru that bo nces back and forth between audience and 1age. The et is a tried-andtested blend of old school favourites - from 'It's High I tde Baby!' to 'I'm a Riot? You're a fucking Riot!' - to newly showcased material from Hope, which is met with an urpri ingly equal amount of interest and fervency, pretty much ealing the band's reputation as British teen favourites for another year to come. Things get a I ttle cringeworthy when they start sampling 1-..R -One's' ound of da Police', but there's generally little to criticise about a band that knows how to deliver a relaxed and expert- ·ounding performance with enough light banter in-bet\\-'een. mith, of cour e, is so relaxed he's practically horizontal. A few days prior to the orwich h w, he became the centre of a full-scale online riot of Hip-flop jokes after he launched into the crowd during a gig to punch a gatecrasher for hitting him with a shoe. o rogue footwear tonight, but there is a tense mo1 1ent when a repeatedly nide joke about orfolk' · 'inbred' population is met with hostility by even the mo t devoted of devotee . ''I'm joking, I'm joking': he finally admit , but maybe he need another year to finally e tabli h when the line i met. Steph McKenna




Photo by Geraldine Mor izet




Issue 256 lOth May 20 11





It either takes a madman or a genius to pass off -~

LED lightsasa cu ttingedge fa shion accessory. On th e basis of tonight 's gig, Metronomy front man, }oscph Mount can legitimately claim to be both. Cuttin g through the gloom of the Waterfront, the now notorious pre-synced li ghts flicker from the chests of the band as they take to the stage wi th a new album, The English Riviera. Long known as purveyors of electronic pop, the barely restrained hysteria of so phomore record Nights Out is still present in the band's live performance but is tempered by a more mature sou nd and brooding bass lin e that lurks beneath their latest tracks. Bassist Gbenga Adelekan is the prowling, disquieting force behind a varied se t of manic clectro pop, tautly handling his instrument as he accompanies Mou nt with a piercing falsetto. 'The Look' is a heartfelt ode to Mount's hometown of Devon and expertly conveys the atmosphere of an offseason English seaside with a piping melody heady with the nostalgic air of fairground organs. There are no signs of slacking post line-up alteration, with new drummer Anna Prior keeping a tight grasp on the rhythms that make Metronomy's music so eminently danceable. Live, the cathartic pop of oldie 'O n Dancefloors' becomes a melancholy dance floor fi ll er with wh inin g synths a euphoric

cxpres ion of yea rning and discon tent. A gaggle of pubescent boys cluster at the barrier to demand old favour ites and respond to 'A Thing For Me' with such ecstatic fervour that swea ty fisticuffs erupt during the chorus. At moments li ke this, it's all too easy to lnbel Metronomy as merely a party band with a fine line in boisterous art rock. Five seconds into current sin gle 'She Wants', the realisation hits that they are much, much more than that. A master class in restrained longing, the shrill vocals that so often exemplified their past have been replaced by gentler crooning and serve to highlight the band's progression. Escaping to the car park to avoid the post-gig 80s night Mount strains to give his verdict on the night over the pounding strains of Cynd i Lauper: " It 's only the second night of tour, so it's pretty easy-going right now." As the clammy masses who witnessed the effort less handling of a mid-performance Apple Mac malfunction with an impromptu beer raflle will agree, Metronomy's ascent to the echelons of electronica will surely be just as painless.

Emily Prichard

ALBUM I THE ENGLISH RIVIERA The English Riviera is a really mature album, the new found melan choly is still balanced aga inst the endearingly childish synth melodies and swooping falsetto that Metronomy fans have come to know and love. Joseph Mount has drawn the good bits of his old music and successfully used them to compliment a change in musical direction. The best example of this working is the amazing 'Corinn e', a woeful lament to falling in love with "inanimate objects, particularly, but not specifically a gun" that utilises both Mount's previously established talent for brilliantly sheepish lyricism; " I got my heart tied up, got my heart in a bind/She just wants to dance all the time", and his newfound fetish for soaring, euphoric ~ynth lines, building from Mount wailing over reassuringly electronic drums to epic, falsetto-led funkiness. Similarly, the debut single 'She Wants' is gloominess at it grooviest, wi th Cure-esque bass leading into a bridge characterised by typically Metronomy synth squelches, and 'The Look' is a really shimmering, seductive four minutes. There's a few tracks that hark more obviously back to his wonky electronic origins, noticeably the gloriously warped 'Loving Arm', which feels like it's been recorded underwater, meshing several

awkward melodies together in a way that's certainl y funky, if not necessarily danceablc. The songs that feature complete self reinvention are in teresting; 'Some Written' so unds worryin gly like lounge music for the first few minutes, but piercing synth and wobbly arpeggios casually filter into the backing help remind you that Mount at his most laid back is still more inventive than a lot of other musicians, with the kazoo led jam provid ing a definite highlight. 'Everythi ng Goes My Way' is sickly sweet electro-folk, and closer 'Love Underlined' is a really odd, messy song, with tense vocals, maraca accents and weird drum patterns building to quick snatches of heavy, danccfloor friendly bass. Whereas pretty much all of Nights Out was single material, there arc only a few tracks on this that provoke manic shape-making. It's a lot less instantly satisfying, and the move away from their previous skewed pop means a lot of the album can feel a little underwhelming. If you can embrace the gloom/groove combo, as well as the preference for acoustic drums, The English l~il'icm is a really rewarding album.

Sean Purdy

Issue 256 lOth 2011


She bounded on to the LCR stage, just as she did the charts, with her signature style causing the audience to tap their feet and hum along to her catchy, infectious hit singles. The backdrop which framed the stage captured her fun loving personality with a picture of a gigantic, bright-coloured rollerblade surrounded by numerous flashing lights being the first indicator as to what kind of show it ¡ would be: fun, bubbly and although at times captivatingly awkward, incredibly energetic! She opened with the hugely popular 'Moneybox' and showed from the very beginning that she is not just a pretty face, but also a great British find; if anything,

sounding stronger vocally live than on her records. 'Moneybox' seemed the perfect choice for the opening song with the energy from the audience palpable as the young singer effortlessly strutted around the stage declaring; Take your dollar, your buck, I couldn't give a penny... This song particularly accentuates how lyrically genius Doolittle's songs are, taking a simple concept and transforming it into a soulful, twee number. Other highlights included the delightful 'Back to Front', witty 'Mr. Medicine' and it goes without saying that 'Pack Up' set the stage on fire, which is understandable as it rocketed to the top of the charts last summer!

Doolittle also mixed up her set a little with the inclusion of some memorable covers such as Bruno Mars' 'Grenade', which she definitely put her individual stamp on, but unfortunately failed to live up to the original. It must be said that it is rather obvious that Doolittle is new to the pop scene; at times entering into awkward banter with the audience, which often fell flat and began to feel uncomfortable. Perhaps more experience being at the forefront of celebrity culture will ensure that Eliza Doolittle is more relaxed and will know how to work an excitable audience. However, this did not take away from the performance as a whole and in

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fact accentuated that Doolittle has not let the fame go to her head and that her feet are still firmly on the ground. As her witty lyrics state she is by name "Do-little, but she does a lot!" and she certainly does do "the best with what she got": a fun and friendly personality, a stunning vocal range and all in all a fresh, lively and summery upbeat performance, which caused those fast approaching summer months seem to that little bit closer and able to pervade the LCR for just one night



Issue 256 31st Ma rch 20 11




Say what you like abou t Manches ter Orchc>lra, yo u ca n't fault their work ethic. Since re- leasing 2009 's Mean f l'c rything to No thing, front man Andy Hu ll ha s found the time to write and record la st yea r's /31/(/ Hooks album with Kev in Dev in e, record th e final part of the Night A1vay, Great Cap tnin trilogy and keep track of his reco 1·d labe l, Favour ite Centlcman. And yet, he's stil l go t th e tim e and energy to create so me thin g a' ambit ious and grandiose as Si111plc Moth, an ;~!bum thai I lull de ·cribcs as "a stor y about a 23-yca r old who ques tions every th ing from marr iage to love to religion to sex". O ne thi ng's fo r sure - it doesn't sou nd rushed. From the mom ent that the delicate ' Deer ' bleeds in to 'M ighty', it beco mes cl ea r that the 1\lanchest.:r Orchestra ha ve not stood sti ll after losing a drummer and turnin g 23. Sure, Hull 's gift for crafting spa rse, poe ti c l;•ri cs and laying them over such bea ut ifull y

simple melodi .:s th at th ey co uld be nurse ry rhymes is still ev ident - more th;ln ever in fact. But eve rythin g's bi gge r. \>\1hen it 's quiet, you 'w go t to move ri ght up to yo ur spea kers to hea r Hull 's so uthern dra wl, when it 's lo ud it hit s yo u so hard that you've got to use a suit of fuck ing armour in stead of ca r plu gs a nd just when yo u think th .:;•'ve found their nich.:, the y rip the whole thing apart and tell yo u that th ey've 'go t tl111t rock 11111 / that roll' on Apri l Fool , as if th ey' re drinkin g in a Nas lwill e dive circa 1974. The titl e track, at once la zy, chaoti c and grace fu l, is the ideal ce ntrep iece. Sweep ing str ings frame Hu ll \ vo ice and Rob ert McDowcll's delay-drenched guit ar whil st bui ld ing subtly to a cresce ndo bigger th;~n the So uth itse lf. llut the true gift of Si111plc Math is it s se nse of co heren ce beneath ten I racks so radi ca ll y different from o ne another. That 1\10 drop ped 25 tra cks to co me to these 10 shows mo re than anything th at th ere was a ' tor y to tell and th at thi s record, a co ncep t album at it s co re, had to tell it without breakin g off on a tangent . just as 7"/ic Dcl'il 11111! God ore /~oging ln~idc i\lc ripped 13rand New from the spik y clutches of th eir ge nre, so Si111ple Matli takes Manch ester Orchestra in to a wor ld all of. th eir own AJex Ross




Deer' arc 5 loca l guys who arc ve ry much . . in a band. lt ~eem> obvious to say that , but so often yo u find ach who arc clearly led by a frontman o r by a prodigious tal en t who >imp ly needs ba cking, but this is simp ly not the case wit h th e No rwich boys. No one of th em i-; th e 's tag' of the gro up, the y all know their inst rum ents ve ry well, most of them sin g, and in utili sin g all that th ey work toge th er to create mu sic th ey want to h e:~ r. Not only arc they a talented bunch , but th ey arc indu striou s too; having form ed l;l! e 20 I 0 th.:y ha ve alread y re leased thi s EP and ha ve ano th er due very soon. it's dirtlc ult to nail Uccrs do wn to one sound, but hroadl;' speaki ng th e~' arc an alternative rock ban d. That sai d th o ugh, all of the ~ t creo t ypes that ta g ' ugge'ts arc vc r )' quickly bani ~hc d once you ha ve dipped into th eir F.P. Ye~, the y fo cus on soa rin g vocals, distort.:d gu it ars and dri vin g pcrcu-,sion, and at just fou r tracks lo ng it 's a prelly ~ t andard 1·clcasc, bu t the m,1turity and th e nllt >ica l breadth prese nt i> q rikin g, and even more im~1re,sive when you lea rn it wa~ all recorded in ,1 h.:droom in a ma tter of weeks. The proficient gu itar work , be it th e intricat e lin e in '/\tiTS', th e glitchy riff in th e middle of ~1cr s o n a l favo uri te'/\ Moment of

Moon Duo's latest release Alr1zc5 is a glorious mi x of co ntempo rar y and 1-cl ro. Album o pener 'See r', a har monica ll y stunt ed but s oni ca ll~· majesti c track, with it s full.)' guitars and deep percussion coaxes yo u into th e record with its ob tu se lack of development. After bein g perp lex ingl y simpl e for th e fir st three minutes it qui ckl y reaches its apogee du ring th e beautifully warped guitar sol o which, in an in stant, iranspo rts you back to what we th o ught th e 70s was like; su n, LSD and silhou ett ed girls d.1ncing on rainbo w backgrounds and it sudd enl y makes so much se nse. The record man.1gcs to hark ba ck to the glory days of roc k and roll , but Moon Duo's brand of en vog ue ha;;' pop also keq1s them unwavering ly on trend. 'Scars' .,Jow' things down and seems more co nsid.:red; wa rblin g cho rd s, organ me lod ies a nd a bit of progression makes the subdu ed se ns<lti o n a stando uttrack. 'F.dlout ', ,1 p.:r,on ,l l highlight , ha s a b.:cficr gui l;l r to ne, a kind of ghos t of shocgazc past, which blu dgeons ;'o u u nt il you sin k int o the cha o ti ca ll y beautiful cresce nd o and ar.: ag.1i n lost in d.1ydrcam s of shimm eri ng sun. Un fo rtun ;lt.:ly it's <lrou nd thi s point whe n l\1oon Duo\ sound beg in s to drag a little. It 's





Wea kn ess' o r th e brutal lon e in ' Dolphins', is th e glu .: that hold s the band to ge th er, but it's by no means th e only thin g goi ng on. Great lyri cism ; a so lid drumm er who throws in lilb all ove r th e ~ hop; co mp kx, int.:rtwinin g three- par t voca l harmoni es; as well as fa irl y frcq uen t sh i f"t s in to ne and rhyt h 111 m,d.;es .:a eh so ng interestin g, but ai'>O cr.:a tes a signature sound whi ch geb the t::tJ to ge th er wo nd erfu ll y. The tracks arc all <ll'ailab lc o n th e bands So und Cioud (/wcaredecr> ) so go an d dow nl oa d th em for fr.:.: an d o nce yo u've ca ught the bu g yo u ma y as well go and sec th em li ve at The Crypt @l lk dford ' on June .S th , it 'll be we ll wo rth it. Alex Th rosse ll

not to detra ct from the remai ning pi eces as but ,1s a who le, th e album see ms to be plagued by to o much fo cus. The so ngs, which are also fa irly long, simpl y blend togeth er, and whilst that might be translat ed brilliantl y o n stage and co uld provid.: a grea t backing to an ev.:ning, whe n listening to th e· alb um straight th roug h it leaves ju st a bit more to be desired . Alex Throssell ~ tand,llones,





Issue 256 31st March 2011

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Tyler, The Creator, the talisman and emphatic ring leader of OFWGKTA, is embarking on a no holds barred journey of self expression, detailing his life experiences as the 'saviour of hip-hop'. After Bastard shocked the underground hip-hop scene back in 2009, Tyler has returned with the hugely hyped Goblin. Jordan Bright heard it first... ight, 'Yonkers' goes viral and suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, Tyler, the Creator is labelled as the next big thing in hip-hop. Cue a media frenzy as various blogs/magazines desperate to appear as pretentious wankers attempt to dissect, and intentionally or not, smother with attention Tyler and the rap collective he spearheads: Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them AlL Odd Future proceed to play Coachella and soak the crowd with water pistols; a number of genuinely hilarious shorts are released involving the slow-mo assault on a dustbin and Tyler posing as a middle-aged golfer; 'Free Earl' becomes a source of intrigue; and Tyler incessantly rants on Twitter in BLOCK CAPITALS. As you may have noticed, there has been little talk actually concerning his music, with few likely to be aware of his debut album Bastard, let alone listened to it. Not only has the hype been immense but Tyler seemingly has the ability to divide not only public opinion, but that of his fans also. Scan the comments section of any of his videos on Youtube and you will find little else but a slanging match between sets of his fans. Competition between underground gangsters and middle-class 'hipsters', old fans and new, to claim Tyler as their own has entirely missed the point. What Tyler and Odd Future are trying to do transcends the petty, and false, divides of race, class or fan commitment. Tyler is simply creating music that he wants to listen to, that he enjoys: taking the maxim of'do what you love, fuck the rest' to, well, the max. Tyler uses Goblin, like its predecessor Bastard, as a form of self-therapy: a release for his pent-up energy, fears and rage. As a result Goblin is at times a deeply personal and revealing piece of work that continues where his first album left off, thus necessitating a thorough listen of Bastard if it is to be fully comprehended. Lyrically Goblin can be at times


provocative, detailing, amongst other things, rape and gratuitous violence. While this is naturally likely to draw criticism, Tyler covers himself well at the start of Radicals,

'don't do anything I say in this song, okay, it's fucking fiction'. In reality Goblin is startling in its uncompromising honesty: tracks Goblin and Golden bookend the album and offer a revealing insight into its creators mindset. Tyler is not the greatest rapper in the world, or even Odd Future for that matter, a fact he freely admits in the title track, but he is masterfully witty, entertaining, dark and, perhaps most importantly, sincere. However, while the lyrics are likely to draw most of the focus it is in fact Goblin's production that really merits praise: with instrumentals offering a great deal of depth, texture and variety. Tyler is an accomplished producer for the age of just 20, having produced not only his first album but also the majority of his Odd Future cohorts' as well, and on Goblin he fully realises his potential:,warranting the inevitable comparisons with Pharrell Williams, his idol . Not only do the instrumentals offer considerable diversity, but the precision with which they have been crafted significant contrast to the





Goblin is an extremely varied, yet focused album that takes no prisoners: shooting down everyone, whether it be hip-hop fanatics or Pitchfork devotees. However, it is important to realise that Goblin hasn't been made to sell copies, garner positive reviews or provoke a reaction. It has been made simply because this is what Tyler, the Creator, loves to do - any pleasure it gives the listener is just an added bonus. What the album truly conveys is youth in its truest sense: ambition, guile, humour and a fuck everything mentality. It doesn't pretend to be anything but the work of a messed-up 20-year-old kid doing what he wants, saying what he feels and refusing to conform: 'I'm a

fucking unicorn, fuck anyone that says I'm not: It is this that makes Goblin stand out; the sense that its content is entirely genuine, pleasant or not. Tyler may revel in the arrogance of youth but, given Goblin's quality, in this case it may well be justified.

THIS IS MY COUNTRY! In ~ pil e o f it '~ statu s as on e o f th e mos t influential genres of all time, Co untr y an d Wester n h as never exactl y had th e creedence in th e UK of Fol k or Blu es. T hi ~, apparen tl y, is so methin g tha t has ever y in ch of Fiona Howa rd fumin g, from her Stetso n hat all th e way down to th e spurs o f her mad e-i n -Texas cow boy boo ts. So listen up, y'a ll! She dun got a gut -danged a stor y to tell.. .



lenn Cam. phcll\ rhilll''>l011L'd Lowhoy may not have helped the cool credential-, of country llllhic whe n he '> tormed the chart s in I')75, hut th L' gene r,1l publi c may have been a bit too qu ick to relegate coun try to th e gui lt y ple.htll·e, , Jll'lf. '1\ Lh~· Breaky l lea rt ' by Bil ly Rae Cyruo.,, a man now more l~u no u ' I(J r -,paw nin g the IH yea r old lllL'dia 111,\ChinL' th.1t i, 1\liley th,m anything clo.,e, didn't help the cause and could h<lle c,l..,il~ I)Ut the fin al ll <lil in the corti n when it come' to Cm111tr~· <lnd \\b tern. B.1r ,1 brief period in 1')':12, line d,mcing wa' nei'LT reall~· cool ,ln~wherL' above the 1\ ta,on -1)ixon line. But, therL'\, a lot morL' to Wllllt ry than .. illy dance,, . rednecko.,, and t,ls\cJ.., th,m you would think. ,,.., l >IlL' llf the llldL''>t genre' llf mu-,ic, '>U rp.l'>'>ing even rhythm and blues ,1 nd the birth of the three m,111 h,md 11e recogni;e toda~, country h,l'> rem,1ined alnw't entireh true to ih roulL''· lhe pi lgrim.., leh t~T,llllll and per,ecution behind 11 ill'n thl'l· i,llltkd on Ph mouth Rock in 1620, hut the~ brought 11ith them the folk mu,it of their home country. I h.1t, <liHI o., m,dll)ox. < .o untr y mu , it ,adly hec<Jme the ha,tard chi ld of tdk. ~hunned to the ~out h , it o.,oon hec11ne the h.lil'-hreed off.., l)ri ng of m,,,, im migra tion m ix in g o., tylco, ,md ino.,trumenh from around the world . Through countr~, the world wa . . introduced to the h,mjo, 1 i,1 ,\frican \l,li'L' > ,,lfld it\ 110( hL'ef1 qui te the '>a me o., in ce. ,\!t hough rL· ed pr i mar il ~· to ll> Untry mU'>IC, try li, tcning to

. . . . ~utj,m ~tevem 11 ithout the twang of a h,mj o and lllll'll find it dllL'o.,n't rL'.lli} 11orlc Li1ing in rL·i,l tiiL' oiN :ur ity, ( 'ounlr)' 11'<1.., I'L'rl' much a loca li;ed

phenomenon in the L'.ll h da1·..,, o.,uflcring 11 ithout thL' joy' of medi,l to t.lkL' ,Hh ,lllt,lge of. ., h,ll would change" ith the inaugu r,ll ion oft he C r,m d Ole O pry in I')2.1. hen if you've ne1cr tun ed in to the week ly hroadc1, t, you\c ... ure to h,lll' he,ml of it. It, ..,t,lge ha.., been home to the the genre throughout bi~~eo.,l ll<lllle\ Ill hi -,to r y, from 11,\11 k

\\'illi,um in the 3th, of'He1 Cood I ookin' LllllL\ to . ,,,~ · lur ~~~ ili in 20 I0. ,\lier ,11l , in ILJ:'i I ,1 tecn.1gc I'll i' graced the Opr), 'an' tilL' g) rating hif)' that would L1tcr makL· girb thnm their he-,t white und iL'' .1 t him. T he !-.:ing of l ~ock n' Roll would lw nothing ll'it hout hi.., o.,out hcrn rou te,: hi' l)enLhant I(H· friL·d l()()tb wao., hi, dmmt:1ll alkr all. 1\ llll nothing '>lf'L'.lllh ~llUthL'I'll like a hit of hillhillv count r ~ ·, wh ich Pre'>le~ · then fii1L'\\L'd into thL' '>IIL'L'l '>lllllld'> Of ~~llLk,lbiiJI. You might hL' abk to t.lKL' tilL' l'ing out of thL' '>outh but you can't take thL' ( 'ountn out of tilL' !-.:ing ,lJld -,uh',L'quentJ~ · eiL' t~ · thlllg th,lt I(Jllolled from The lkltlc, to ltldiohead . There\ no denying that Bob I)) !,m ch,mged tilL' m u,ic world liltelcr, li1r the better -,onll' might .,,11, 11 hen hL' llt'llt cledric in I%:'i. :\L'I'L'r mind till' oln iou-, influence of \\'ood1 < ;uthric, ll,mk \\'illi,un' ,1nd I'L'te ~ec·ger on the 'llllild nl hi-, mu,ic, it i' hi-, 'ong 11 ritin ~ th,1t trul) m.lKL'' l111n ,1 legend. I k ,md hi' I) riL' h,liL' Lllll'>i'>tenth que~tioned the -,t,llu' quo, ignoring t h ,1 t"lllL'Il t i,l,t month when ilL' kt the ChinL''e l;OI·emment cemo r him . ( lJ u ntr~ · .1nd \\'e..,IL'rn, Lk-,pite it, l;L'flLT,li Jy right

wing Jl,llllf'L', h,h lleiL'r hL'L'll ,1fr.1id (ll lll,lKL' ,\ poli tic.1 i lllL''>'>.lge. \ \'hcther it be !-.:enm Roger\ ,uhtk prute'>t . . ong to thL' \ 'ietna m \ \'a r (o r !-.:nrean \ \'ar depending on who l'llU .1sk ) and cry li1 r he lf) in 'Ruby, I )on't ·1;1kc Your Low to ' J (nv n ~ the i)i :-. iL· Ch ick' voL.Ii tk ri..,io n of Pre, ide nt Bu-,h or the llllll'L' t) pica! J)atrio ti. . m di,pl.lyed in ' lob~ !-.:L·ith\ 'Courk'"' of tilL' Red, \\hi te .md Blue'. It\ not ,11! Ion· o.,tor iL'' ,md rL'grel. lh.1t being ,,,id it\ got its li1ir . . h.l rL' of loi'L' hai!.Jd, tilled "ith rL'gret ,md renwr,L', hut the he-,t thing ,1hout countrv mu..,ic i' ih o.,tor) tell ing. I )~ l,m i,n't iu~t ,1 IO[)icaii~Tici., t , hi, song., ,1re Lh,l ractcri;ed by their intricall' n.ll'r.ll io n; dr,lll·ing on 11'h,1t had ,1lre;1d~ begun in the world of wun tr1·. Johnny CJSh\ I'Ciengdul t;lle of ,1 boy n,1med ~ue ma~ · lw ,iJ iy, bu t the chrono logic<li o.,ton dc1·clopmcnt of it make' it ,dl thL' better, 11hiLh i-, on!) enh.lllLL'd b: C.hh\ LllllOll\ rh1·thmic J'icking. 1:1king it to ,mothLT kiL'i i-, the COll\er\,\(1011 bctii'L'l'll l'ittl \\L'Ilo.,' 'It \\';hn't ( ood \\ho :'\ llonk1 lnnk \ngk, \md ll ,mk Thomt)'on\ 'The \\'ild '>idc of I ik' 11 h ich tell.., t hL ' t.1le of intidelit y fro m both sideo.,. l ~rucc ~pring,tcen i' currently one oft hL' n1o't t:unou.., -;tor~· telk r , ,1hou t ll'ith hi, ulc, of lo\ e lo.o.,t ,m d lin1 nd, ,111 d the f)li~ ht of the co mm on man . hen more Ctlllll'mporan i' till' 11ork of I 'turner or Craig I inn of The ! Iold ~tead1 · who .1re kL'L' j)ing the tr.1d it ion ,1 ii1·e .1nd 'trong. :\ot on I~ h,,, the genrL' in fl uL'nced L'ver~ thing undn the 'un but it h,1, abo had the highe't nu m her of cro..,..,ol er hih Lom p.1 red to <111) ot hL'r genre. The ko l'cli'Ct vi. . io n that 11'<1\ "han ia T11·,1in of the mid l)()\ m.1y not haYe impre\sL'd vou much on the t:hhion front, hut you c,m't den)· th ,lt )'OU too ldt like a wo man (ed\ llll(L'; ll'hik \Oille of Uo., ,\rL' mL'll, fn r ,o me rL'.hon, 11 L' C<lll -,til l rel,lle . .. ) L'ntil 200l) ;md th ,1t inLlilHlU'> incident with l'.mye \\'eo.,t, I'OU \11,11' llL' I'er haYe hea rd of · , ;,~· l or Swit't, hu t 'he\ Cll '>Urcd th,lt countrl· h,h 111,1de ih ",1) h.1ck in to the m,lin..,trc,l nl ifl ( hL' l ' " ill ,\ 1\ ,\I'll L'\L' 110( ',L'ell \ill\..L' the mid l':l':l!k It look.., like it\ here to,, ,,~. Co u nt , .~, h,,, done little to change i t~ im.1ge 111 ih I o n ~ hi'>llll)'· It co uld e;Jsih· he '>L'L'Il a' b.Kkw<~rd rel~·i n g on the twangi ng guit.l rs, tk, io n ,md -,toriL'' th.1t made hi llb ill y co un try to begin with . Then aga in when it h,,, bee n -,o in ll uc nti,1 i; maybe it doesn' t need to '>l.lrt ch.m~in~. The dewlopmen t of ,lltern.llii'L' co unt ry and the ri'> in g pop uLl ri t:· of ind ie ti1lk country i'> olllL' ;1g,1in pro1·ing ih s t a~· in g power. :\,you pop on Spot i t~· to Ji,ten to \\'ilco, Beiru t, o r eve n ~o m e cla..sic l- !I·is, remembe r, it tu rn' out you're prob,1bly ,1 li ttl e mo re co untr y th an rock n' ro ll than yo u origin all y thou ght.

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1 ~ ~- 1')l * UEA Literary Festival: Edmund de WaalLT! -6:30pm (£6) l\ - LCR- !Opm (£2 * adv) * Shaolin Warriors: Legendary Masters of Kung-Fu- Theatre Royal- 7:30pm (£5.50£22.50) " Burlesque Intermediate Course- The Garage- 8pm (£65 for 5 week course)

\\'ednesd > · h *

- LCR-

~ 11 Ir



* Met. Opera: Die Walkure- Cinema City-

5pm (£21.50) ll.u lll\lll\ 11 - LCR!Opm (£2) * Brilliant Stupidity- NNFll -Chapel field Gardens- !0:30pm (£15) * 999 Summer Classics- Mercy- lOpm (£3-£5)

Su ~·~· 1- h * Emerge NME Radar Tour 2011 feat. Anna Calvi and Grouplove -The Waterfront- ?pm (£9)

* The British Pink Floyd Show- Theatre

Royal -7:30pm (£6.50-£29.50)




* Summer Sports Day- Mercy- lOpm (free admission with flyer before midnight) * Dining With Alice- Elsing Hall (runs daily until 21st)- 7:30pm (£55 standard, £85 VIP)

Fridq 13th *

- LCR- 7:30pm (£18) * Fright ight- Mercy- lOpm (free admission with flyer before midnight) * The Shining- Cinema City- llpm (£6)


* UEA School of Music: Allegri Quartet!3:30pm (£4-£7) * Daniel Kitson - Norwich Arts Centre -


* Westwood: The Live DJ Tour- Project- IOpm (£4.50adv)

rucsday 17th *


- LCR- JOpm (£2) \t I ht• l . - LCR <. )l I


: Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides - Across UK cinemas


nIm l


<. lh

Roll·rs -

LCR- ?pm (£23) .




" EA Literature Society Presents: Alice in Wonderland Summer Ball -The Assembly House - 8pm (£16.50) " Ballet Nacional de Espaiia - Theatre Royal

• WAW Wrestling Presents: May Mayhem -

(runs for 2 days)- 7:45pm

l\ 1ondJ '23rd

Project- 4pm (£10adv)

" Footloose - Theatre Royal- 7:30pm

Something for the summer It's the final countdown! The summer term has commenced and with it comes revision, deadlines and the dreaded pre-exam stress. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Many of you will be counting down the days until freedom; for some it will come sooner than others, but have faith, it will come! With this in mind Venue would like to take the opportunity in this last issue of the academic year, to give all its readers

something to look forward to. With no end of amazing things to do in the coming months, Venue will be picking out some of the best (and cheapest) thing to do this ummer to make it a, cheap, but most importantly, memorable one. For the final weeks of term, the Union have very kindly lowered the prices on all of the Tuesday LCR tickets, so now you can buy the whole terms LCR tickets

from the Box Office at a price of just £2 in advance! With popular themes such as The Smurf Party and Skool Daze mingled with the addition of some heavyweight rookies to the calendar, like The Only Way Is Essex, it should be a rather eventful summer term. Not only that, but the legendary Pimp My Barrow returns to the UEA to wreak havoc on campus and cause great delight amongst hardware stores across the county. Set up in 2006 by UEA RAG, it has been a roaring success every year and this year will set to follow the same pattern, selling out within the first few hours of sale. Expect to see wacky outfits, disguised barrows and of course, the beautiful sight that is the drunken UEA student. For those of you who believe that there is fun to be had outside of the Norfolk borders (madness, we thought so too) then there is a! o something for you. If you live for thrills and excitement then theme park resort Alton Towers are doing a special introductory offer exclusively for students, where you can buy a day ticket to all the attractions in the park for £20.50 per person. Not only are there incredible rides such as Rita which catapult you from 0-lOOkmp in 2.5 seconds; there is also a spa,

waterpark and two themed hotels to boot! If rides are not your thing, then Venue .,. would like to suggest a favourite past time of many students: festivals. Beach Break Live has possibly everything the fun-loving student could want. Situated in Pembrey Park, South Wales not only will there be an abundance of sheep and amusing road signs, the festival boasts an eight mile stretch of sandy beach, 500 acres of woodland and a very impressive line-up. With confirmed acts uch as: Tinie Tempah, Example, Mark Ronson, Zane Lowe, Magnetic Man, Katy B, Ed Sheeran, Beardyman and Newton Faulker to mention but a few, the music will no doubt be incredible. For the (little) time you won't be drinking or dancing there are counties activities to take part in such as zorbing, paintballing, surfing, and face painting. All the while you can be complimented and given love notes by the Royal Male, a red-coat-wearing regimental group of softies spreading the love. Phew! All of this can be had for a modest £99 for four days and four nights of pure festival perfection from the 16th to the 20th of June.

Georgina Wade







I •i,,.,. s.S!l_~.•~~~·

1Oth M~Y-· 2~









~ - ~972 Liza Minelli film (7)

~.Transported (7)

4· Spooky (5)

2. Emblem signifying status (5)

7· Detection device (5)

3· Tropical bird (6)

g. Vertical (7)

4· Mistake (5)


5· Dependable follower (7)

Inactivity (7)

~~ - Measuring implement (5)

6. Go in (5)


8. Relationship between 2 numbers (5)

Dictator (6)

~4 - Clergyman(6)

~3- Reinforce (7)


~5 - Reasoned judgment (5)

Copious (5)

20. Exhausted (7)

~6. Improvised musical passage (7)

22. Pouch worn with a kilt (7)

17. Opportunity (6)

23. Diadem (5)

~8. Part of a church (5)

24. Admittance (5)

19. Ahead of time (5)

25. State bordering Ethiopia (7)

2~. Take on (5)



This year's Pimp My Barrow ha s been more popular than eve r sellin g out in less than 3 hours. If you weren't o ne of th e lu cky ones then tr )' you r hand at CoiKre te's crossword to be in with the chance of winning yourself a ba rrow. If you fa ne~· giving it a go and taking part in the high! igh t of U EJ\s calcnda r bring your eo m plctcd crossword to the Concrete ofllce by 5pm on Friday 13th f\ lay.

Name: E-mail: Mobile:




The ru les are simple, make as many words as you can from the grid: /

Each word mu~t use the cen tral letter On ly use each letter once No plurals all owed Words must be minimum of 3 l etter~

s M




6 7





5 3 5







6 7

7 4 9


5 2


1- IARr





9 6 4

7 6 3 1 8 1 5

6 4

9 2

9 1

2 5 7

7 5



3 7 2 5

4 2




9 4


8 2

2 7

4 8 9

1 6 2

5 1 3


6 7

8 2


4 9



Venue issue 256