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VENUE ~~ 15/3/2011




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Editor-in-Chief> Danny Collins I Venue Editor>Duncan Vicat-Brown I Deputy Venue Editor Fiona Howard

I Fashion Editor> Kat Jones Deputy Fashion Editor>Hannah Brill Fashion Contributors> Kat Jones, Melissa Rush worth, Honnah Brill, Anna Smith

I Arts Editor> liz Jackson Arts Contributors>Emmo Webb, Rebecco Hozlewood, Matthew Morton, (othenne Morpeth






-~ • ~

I Creative Writing Editor>Robert Van Egghen Creative Writing Contributors> Moll Mulcohy

~ •• ' ·• I Television Editor> Tasha Golley ~vision Contributors>Helen Jones, Sherie Horkom, Notolie Stephenson, Tom Theedom, Moll Tidby, Helen Eoton

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Wired Editor>Vaughn Highf1eld

Wired Contributors> Josh Moll, Mehul Somoni, DJ Turner, Emmo Gorrell, Williom Moron, ~~~~'m"...tlr.,~""U:I.!.l.l.l l

Film Editor>Poul Martin

Deputy Film Editor>Catherine Watts Film Contributors>lorno Pontefroct, Tom Groves, Helen Jones, Beth Dovison, Beth Hulett, Jomes Burrough, Joseph Mead, Steph McKenno, Anno Ea stick, Sorroounio Chrislianson, Tom Mclnnes

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Music Editors> Alee Plowman & Alex Throssell

Music Contributors> Alex Throssell, Chalice Cox·Hynd, Alex Ross, Jordan Bright, Sean Purdy, Harriet Jones, Jomes Sykes, David murphy, Emily Prichord, Alec Plowmon

I listings Editor>Georgina Wade listings (onlributors>Georgino Wade

Competitions Contributors> Henry Croft


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I Love London Fashion Week


hen: we haiL' it: \ 'cnue\ lowdown on L<, mlon h\-,hion \\'L·ek. \\'L' wne luck:· L'llough to h•ne t;l',hion dctlilall'd writer'> ,hour own little ,pie, popping Uf) in l,triOLI'> L'lenh, poi>ed with notebook, .llld omna' to bring ;·ou fir.,t hand oh.-.crvation' from the catwalk'>. J\., ahl.l)'' with the city f.hhion weeb, be it London, P.tri,, or ,\lil.lll, there Me m,lll)' dr,tm,t' which L'ithcr .trL' um·L·iled ,ubtly or there .trL' the dropping ,hoLb th.ttcxplode. In thi, i"ue we try to gi1·e you a little 1)iece of everything that happened: be >ure to hook ;·our ticket'> early t{)r ne:--t . . ea,on\ ,heh,lllg' .



Jo hn Ga ll ia no made Paris ht>hion Week memorable fi>r ,tll the wrong rea,on.-. when he w.t, arrested f{>r -,houting ,tnti Semctic .,Jup, whilst on a drunken night out. I le ha.-. since been fired from J)ior. It is rumoured that he will he replaced by ~tefano Pilati.

the late Fan' of McQ ueen Alexa nd er were treated to a :-.neaky peck of an exh ibition ca ll ed 'Savage lkau t y' wh ich wil l run in :-.Jew York \,tter thi, year. Lucky 1\ -li..,t Londoncn, were invited to The Rit7 l(>r a preview of the exhib it ion to cdebratc London Fashion Week.


J ll a1·ing showc.tsed some of the world's higgc.'> t llc,ig nn' during I ondon F,t,hion Week, I louse maintained the gli t1 .llld glamour lw hw.ting I ondon Fash ion Weekend , t.tking full <Hh.tnt.tgc of thdt well trodden catwalk. l )pen ing t hL' ,hm1 11 ,,, ·~~~,Ill \ ·L'>t.t ', .t lil11d Stl'rll/ in,pirL·d u>llcction th•ll capti1,t1ed the

3· Wh at do men reall y carry in th eir bags? it i' humb ling to know that Way Perry, designe1· of 1\.lan ,\bout Town, won't leave home without a Spidcrman notebook and a Le go key ring.

dudience in it:-. thL'.t tr<~n.,ccncidnce from .,on l),tstcls .tnd 11',\1') ,i lhouettl''>, to d.trk .tnd more wild mc lod r.lln•t t ic pieces. The show '>te.tll'r had to he \\' Temf)e~t\ Pink I oh,tcr I kvore I )rL'S'> , .md with contributiotl'> from the like, of Rod.trte ,md )a~per Can·ida, the 'how wa' enthr.tlling from ,t,trt to fini,h. Clo,ing th e ,JHm 11\h thL' much t.dked

Famous Faces On The Front Row Ncwr i, therL' a morL' import.llll time to drL'" to itllJ)rc" th.m during I ondon l·,hhion \\'cL·k.






COUPLE \\'L' wondn wh,ll Philip Crecn ,md ,\nn .t \\'intour talked .thout on thL' front row ...

Weight y debate. As ever, with every single show or eve nt re bti ng to f<~, hi o n , there arc many co lumn im:he'> taken up regarding the si1c of the skinny min is on the c.ttwalk. I a'>k why doe' this not happen with menswea r' No-one ever '>uggests induding bu lky rugby players or guys with cudd ly "beer-bel lies" to save being prej udice to all me n.

.tbout de,ignn ,\ l,trk Fast , who combinc·d lyLr.t .tnd t,t"L'i' in .t way that Cher would he 1)roud oi'. ll oWL'ITr, hard lv reminiscen t of Turn back time thL' cut-out, bod;· hugging' of drL'"L'' crL',llni .t 'L'\)', wild, 70., ,i,kr theme, with thL· mmkl, flowing . . eductii'L'h down thL· rull\1.11. Melissa Rushworth

Clcmcncc i'<hC)', t\lex.t Chung and Gil li•tn ,\nder,on ~h011 their fellow celebritie'> how it\ done...

... K.ttc Bo,worth , )aimc \\'in,tonc .tnd l'alom.t l'.tith on the other hand did not fare 'o WL'II. \\'h,ll II'L'rL' they thinkingi 1

Issue 254 15th March 2011


Autumn/Winter 2011 Trendwatch Inner Animal Many designers turned to other species for inspiration of their new line. Fur, feathers, sequinned skin prints, leather, birdcages, woodland creations, taxidermy - think Wind in the Willow for A/W 20 I I.

For Folks Sake While we do love to celebrate Great Britishness, especially in the collection by Vivienne Westward, there was on influx on bright colours, prints, sculptural headdresses, alluding to Russian dolls and aboriginal pattern.

From the catwalk ...

From the catwalk. ..

... to the High Street ... the High Street ... FCUK £62

Zara £ 19.99

Topshop £25

... to the extreme!

So Long, John by Hannah Britt John Galliano, Dior's creative director, left a bad taste in fashion's mouth this month when he was filmed '>lurring antisemetic abuse after a bo07y night out in Paris. Now, if you stood on a bin outside Lola Lo's after one too many Jagerbombs and yelled, "l love Hitler" to the wind, you may get some cheesy chips thrown at yo u but that's probably about it. However, Galliano got his rant on at La Perle in Pans, and in Paris it is against the law. Making anti-Semetic comments in France can lead to a six month jail sentence, as well a'> a hefty fine. When questioned, Galliano defended himself by saying that he wa~n't intending to be antiSemetic. Hold on a minute there John, did you or did yo u not \ay, "I love Hitler" and shout at an innocent Jewish couple, "People like you would be dead. Your forefathers would all be fucking ga"cd"? Oh yes, th,n\ right, vnu did. That's about as anti-Semetic as you can get. 13ellend.

After his arrest, the designer wa'> promptly suspended from Dior and then fired. The events deeply shocked the fashion world and while model Jessica Stam defended her friend '>tating "Everybody makes mist,Jkes", others were not quite so forgiving. In a statement released on Tuesday evenmg in Los Angeles, . atalie Portman said: "I am deeply shotkcd and disgu>tcd by the video of John Galliano's comments that surfaced today. In light of this video, and a'> an individual who is proud to be Jewish, I will not be assouated with t-tr. Galliano in any wav. I hope at the very least, these terrible comment> remind U'> to rellect and act upon combating these stillexisting prejudices that are the opposite of all that is beautiful". Galliano ha'> been at the creative helm of Dior since 1996 and has produced some stunning collections. lt is such a shame that hi., '>parkling career ha., come to an end in such a negative way. So, a., the dmt settles on the catwalk'>, it is safe to .,ay that this year's Milan Fashion Week will certainly not fade from memory any time soon. However, sadly it will be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

My London Fashion Weekend by Anna Smith

Topshop £130

Miss Selfridge .£.28

... to the extreme!

Imagine yourself as a five year old stood in the middle of an old fashioned sweet shop. Every inch of the walls are affixed with shelves groaning under the weight of hundreds of jar filled with a vast array of technicolour sweets. Imagine your little five year old mind going into overdrive over the pure excitement of the sugar rush and you are just about half way there to understanding how this writer felt at London Fashion Week. At the close of LFW, London Fashion Weekend opens in the beautiful surroundings of Somerset Hou e. It's a chance to dress up, drink free champagne, watch a catwalk show and shop, shop, shop. With over 100 designer brands and huge discounts perhaps you can now understand the child in a sweet shop analogy. This reporter just couldn't resist buying a fabulous - yes, fabulous - eel skin handbag

by Makki and a pair of Michael Lewis boots for only .£.70, an absolute steal seeing as this particular pair retailed at £700 and considering Lewis has created footwear for Louis Vuitton, Tom Ford and Versace. The highlight was getting to see a selection of designers send examples of their S/S 11 collection down the catw·alk. It gave us an idea of the trends that we will be seeing this summer, including Black Swan inspiration, olour Blocking and a stunning knitwear collection by Mark Fast. v\'hibt the m.ljority of the time designer i'> inaccessible to those of us on a student budget, London Fashion\ Veekend is a great opportunity to get a taster of what the fashion world has to offer. A fantastic time was had, just like that imaginary 5 year old in a sweet shop. Make sure to get your tickets next year, we will.


lMJMkmfu~n ~

Theatre - Theatre Royal Goodnight Mister Tom

The appearance of Guorlllig/11 Alistcr Tu111 ,11 Norw ich Theatre l ~oyal i~ th e debut production for brand new children's theatre comp.tny, The Children\ Touring Partner~hip , which takes gift ed young~ter' on the road to ~howca'e )'Oung dramatic tal ent. Con!> i,ti ng of three performance dates (a nd three ~1 a ir~ of \V il liam's and Zach's, one per n ight), C:ood11 ight 1\/i:;tcr To111 had already enjo yed


performance' 111 \\'ycombe and before bringing the ~how to Norw ich. The novel , by f'vl ichellc 1\ lagorian, has enjoyed LOmi,tent popularity since ih publi ca tion in 198 1, and th e 13BC TV adap tatio n starring John Thaw has made th e 'tory a timele!>s f,tmily clas,ic. This new adaptation by David Wood remain s fai th fu l to lvlagorian \, plot, but makes the stor y ~uffolk

appea r mad e for th e stage. With spec tacularl y undem a ndin g cos tume, props and staging, \\'ood presenb the ' implicit )' of '40s co untr y life, int ersper,ed with the use of \\'oriel War 11 vi,u,d memorabilia and record in gs of th e Prime :\I in i'ter's .m nou ncemen ts from the war ihclf. A ma!>terflicce of doubled sta ge -.epar.l!ed \'\'illi e\ coun tr )' experience~ from the horrors of war-torn London, by a drawbrid ge. "' well <b li vely ch,na cter.-. and witty dialogue, the audience ,t lso enjoyed poli-,hed renditi om of Gracie Fields' '\\'ish Me Lu ck (As You \Vave 1\l e Coodbye)' and '( Th ere' ll Be Bluebirds) Over The White Cliffs of I )over', wh ich con tributed enormou sly to the Wdl'time atm osphe re. Stage veteran O li ver Ford Davies mastered the ,1 rt of the ca nt a nkero u' and ageing Tom Oaklq•, bringing humour and poignant emotion in ~eamless tramition. The show shin es with ~ uperb casting throu ghout , not just from the exceptiona l! )' tal en ted yo un g hors in lead role~, bu t abo those respo nsi ble for the countr) ,tnimab, brought to life with imaginative ,tnd humorous puppetry. La ura Cub iti was outs ta ndin g as the puppetee r performing ivlister Tom's beloved col li e, Sammy. !any in :-.uppo rtin g roles doubled up on chara cters to give life to cheerful country folk - from cha in -, moking village

doctors to by-the-book warden:-. - and trul y captured the spirit of the fierce a nd fighting London ers, eX Jlerien cin g terror ,tnd Ios:-. . Si:-. yo un g members of the cho ru ' are all local to No rwich and in ,\l tendance a t theatre schools here. \\'h,\lever th eir age, f~1ns of Coodnig /11 ,\ listcr To111 co uld not po"ibly be di,appointcd 1\'ith anyt hin g in this charming production. ~ilkd with humour and emo ti on in equal measure, endea rin g childi,h innocen ce and wartime loss and friendship, this IS L'xpertly written

~~:cutcd bea~~~\i~~~i~y

and rage expcr icnced by th e composer, a' well as refl ec tions o n happ ier times. Th e piani st perfo rm ed th e ;o nata on ; ta ge with th e dance rs, providing a highl )' va ri ed accompaniment as they dan ced through th e emotions the musi c e\ oked in var:·ing a:-.;cmbl,tge; of q u,l!' tets, du cts and quint ets. Thi' piece had more of a balletic feel, differing sli ght !)' from th e contcmJ'Orary movements of the ot her two pi eces. C:o m plct cly contrasting, ' Rou ghcut ' w,ed th e minimali;t b,lCkdrop of Stc\'e Reich'; 'Cou nt erpoint for Clarinet ,1nd t.lpe' ( 1986 ) and 'Elec tri c Counterpoin t for guita r and tape' ( 1987) . 1\ lston descriJK.., it ,1.., '\1 d.tnce .1bout vit alit y" allowing th e ddnccrs to " relax with ,1 l.1id-back cool". The con tcmpor,Hy d.1ncc 'tylc wa:-. both fascinating and alluring to wa tch. The dancers talents were showca;ed throughou t the three dances in a '>J.:ric, of seemingly supernatural movements, d isp la ying the utm o;t cont rol and flexibility; lightning 'pecd contrasted wi th ;low and sust.1in edmo mcnts as limbs we re stretc hed a nd con tor ted to rcm,Hkable .mglcs, wh ilst the \";trying mu..,iCJI '>tyle~ a nd the exceptional piano perf(nman cc provided furth er variety and intcrL'St. ThL' lv\DC: regu l,1rly return tu Norw ich to perform ,ll th e Theatre Royal, usuall y o nce a yed 1·. Rebecca Hazlewood


en t ertainment. A cast of some new fa ces, some old hands, and a n ,tma~ing f~1bric coll ie, this i' a show with life far beyond the arranged tour dates. i t appears the future of Briti,h theatre may hL' ve ry bright indeed. Em m aWe bb

Theatre - Theatre Royal - Richard Alston Dance Company The world famous Richard Abton Dan ce Compan y performed at th e Thea tre Ro yal last week in a series of cap ti\atin g dan ces which Stllnned the audience with their nuidit y, gl'<lCC, and in nova tive style. The co mpan y of just tcn pcrformers, in cludin g two dancers und ertakin g app ren ticeships from the Lo ndon Co nt cmpor<H y Dan ce School, f1erformcd three dances: ' Li e of the l.and ', 'O ut of th e Strong' and 'Ro ughc ut '. The latter two we re choreogra ph ed h)' Richard t\b ton him.,elf, and the fi rs t, wh ich made th e 20 10 Pendulum Critics Circk Award short Ji.,t, was cho reogra ph ed b)' ,\ l,ntin Lawrancc who, sin ce dan cing with t\lston ea rl r on in hi s ca reer, h,ts rc.:'>taged scvn,d of 1\bton\ cho rcogr.1 ph ie'> . Th c li1·s t dan ce piece w<b se t toNed l{o l·e m\ Str in g Qu,ntet No.4; the con~tant l :' changing music cre,Hed un ce rtain! )' and temion, with th e dancers nw ve menb being ri ve tin g and unpredictab le. Following thi s was 'O ut of the Stmn g' set to Proko fi ev\ l)iano Sona t,J No.6, a beautiful m<lSterpiece which wa'> writt en ,tfter a gru ellin g period of' th e co mpose r\ life, when th e politica l :. ituati o n of the tinie in Ru"i,1 led to th e compose r becoming hi ghl y criticised. Trapped and fear ing f(>r his lif'c , Prokofiev was forced to write works ~uch a> th e can t,lla ' I fai l St,tlin '. The so nata ca rrie; elements of the turmoil



Issue 254



Literature UEA Literary Festival- Alice Oswald For a reporter to attempt to comment objectively on an art-form is difficult enough, but a poetry reading in particular can seem downright futile. Instead, what is often the case is that it is possible to objectively cover the subjectivity of art and the people involved; something Alice Oswald's evening at the UEA Literary f-estival excelled at. Alice Oswald, she professes, isn't a Nature Poet. She is "not into Landscape poetry" in the Wordsworthian sense and she finds being marginalised into the expanding category of 'Eco-Poetry' "uncomfortable': Is she alone then? Forging a new poeticism out of the darkness of bland contemporaries, never wishing to be labelled as anything but 'Aiice Oswald'? In this reporter's view, certainly not. However, though not revolutionary in her poetry, her form and ideals seem to follow a strikingly similarand most likely intentional- mimesis with the relationship of her verse and the world; herein lies the most intriguing port of call for reportage.

Theatre - UEA - Bad Girls For the Drama Society, taking on the musical Bad 路 Girls was a bold move, but definitely a risk worth taking. et in the wing of a female prison, within the路 first five minutes the audience is gripped into an enticing, tough and very funny production. Based on the ITV show Bad Girls, created by Maureen Chadwick and Ann McManus, the development of each individual character expands into an amusing yet emotional tory. The songs ranged from full cast dance numbers to soft laments. Both the choreography and lyrics for songs about the sexual frustration of the inmates and the satisfaction of the sleazy Prison officer )im Fenner brought extensive laughter from the audience. The production begins with each main character introducing their background story, explaining the reasons f(lr their crimes through subtle comedy. As the story unfolds, the new inmate Rachel is subject to Fenner's passions, leading to her subsequent suicide. This leads to an uprising from the prisoners who start a riot. With Helen Stewart losing her job at the prison, the inmates work together to finally put an end to the cruelty of Fenner, bringing all the prisoners closer in a cheesy but enjoyable ending. On top of all the drama, an off-limits relationship develops between Helen and the charming inmate ikki Wade. The stupid yet manipulative Mrs Hollanby was portrayed excellently. The actress was not


afraid to go all out as she danced around the stage pulling some hilarious facial expressions. The arrival of the audacious Yvonne was a brilliant event in itself, as from her first step on the stage she had the audience in fits of laughter. She stole the show with her sly witty remarks, extensive vocal range and highly amusing dancing. The stage layout was efficient, which allowed for swift scene changes. The stage and the orchestra were divided by a prison railing. The orche tra easily complemented the voices of the actor , despite occasionally drowning them out. Luckily it was infrequent and barely noticeable as the musical kept everyone on the edge of his or her seats. The second half opened with an intense number sung beautifully by the religious shoplifter rystal as she grieves the death of the new girl Rachel. It was a strong introduction to the second half as the audience was drawn away from the comic aspects of the musical to be exposed to the power of Bad Girls' underlying themes. With a perfect balance of comedy and drama, the entire musical had the audience enthralled. It was a meticulously executed production, an enjoyable, uplifting musical and definitely worth watching. The UEA Drama Society did a fantastic job.

Alice Oswald studied Classics at ew College, Oxford but, perhaps at her mother's occupational behest, went on to become a gardener at Chelsea Physic Garden and now lives with husband and playwright Peter Oswald and three children in Devon. Tuesday evening consisted of an introduction by George Szirtes, a reading of everal poems by Oswald, chat-show style conversation with her, questions from the audience and more readings by the poet from her longer work Dart (2002) to finish. It is reassuringly easy to see that every aspect of Oswald's life feeds directly and openly into her poetry: she talks about the "happy resistance" of toiling with a rake in the same breath as explaining the mythology of Tithonus and the bounty of the Devonshire countryside; there is happily no question of a deception concerning content. Poetically, Oswald remarks she is "very interested in interruption", shies away from free verse, stating it is "less free" than the sonnets and ballads she writes in equal measure, and uses an expansive

ar enal of similes, classic metaphors, lilting half-rhymes and staccato rhythms. The e feature however, can be explored at a reader's di cretion - what is important to report i the evening itself, in particular the shifts of unity and discrepancy between the written words of a poet and the oratory ~tyle of that poet. A surreal theatrical experience then! The words on the page are Oswald's and the voice is certainly hers; both possess equal identity and yet the conduit between art and life- for that is a poetry reading- shivers and wanes as the audience attempts to match falling cadences with natural content and a faltering voice with the weight of a classic allusion. Wonderfully then, once thrown upon the audience, this wavering connection falls, as mentioned above, mimetically back to Oswald's own relation to her art, and to the person giving flight to voice and word. A highly engrossing evening giving audience to a highly absorbing person and poet. Matthew Morton

TTING ELEPHANT IN THE They sat in awkwa rd silence, eager to avoid the o lw iou ~ qu estion. Th e meal had lon g ago been f1n ished and th eir plat es cleared aw<t y. Whil e it ma y have bee n customar y for th e group to retire to the dra win g room at this point , they had remained fas tened to th eir ~cat s. The maid , a delightful ly rohw,t Cerman i<~d y by the na me o f Hi lclegJ rd , had decided at some poin t tha t she should take her leave; no o ne cared. Th e pari)' in ques tion co nsi-,tcd of l(nlr men and th eir wive-,. The hosts were J\ ,lr and lrs Fairfa x, an ancient couple wh o, betwee n them , had onl y ever W(Hked am un d four teen days 111 th eir lives. M r Fa irfax was th e elder of the two and the weare r of a magnifi cent moustache. In simpler lim es he had been tipped as th e next big name in Engli sh phil osoph y, th ough nothing ever ca me of it. 1\lrs Gree ne co ughed loud ly, causin g all to turn and stare d irect I)' at her in an acc usa tory mann er, .1s if .,he had commi tted some drea dful lilll x pas. She wa, alarmed by the sudde n inte rest of th e others, especiall y sin ce he r hu sband was glari ng just as int ent ly as the rest. He looked <11 her as if to say 'Shush 1' and she tur ned her head, as hamed. The Grecnes were younger than the Fairfa.\CS, though not by much. M rs C rec ne was ,1 shy and retiring woman wh o neve r reall y had ve ry mu ch to say; -,ocia l di sco urse was thus le(t to her husband , a loquaciou s pub lic spea ker. Th e '> hort brun ett e wa'> perplexed by talk of po lo .md horsc racing, co nfused d urin g disc ussions o n th e Co unt ryside Alli ance, and dow nright befuddl ed whenever th e words 'robin', ' hood ', 'tax' and ' tra vesty' were stru ng together in a se ntence. The other two co uples we re the Davilows and the Davil ows, wh o had ca used quit e a stir upon lir, t pairin g up all those yea rs ago. /'vir Dav ilo1' and i\ lr Dav il ow were twin s, as we re Mr-, Dav il ow and tvl rs Dav ilow, which had eau Td no end or co nru ~ i o n on the wedd ing da y (it was a joint ce rcmo n)' ) and even more confusion on th e weddin g night, which was unpleasa nt fo r all co ncern ed unti l l'vlr Dav ilow, an aggre.,;, ivc nego tiator, cross-exa min ed th e oth er Davilows to di scover which one was his wife. Whil e l'v lr Dav il mv and i\ lr·s J)av ilow we re always meek, Mr Davilow and 1\ I r~ Davilow we re known I(J r th eir adve nturou s n e~~, ye t all fo ur sa t now in ston y silence, refu sing to ac kn owl edge th e problem right in front of their (l ee~ . And it was <1 BIG problem. Mr Fa irfa x co uld not be bothered to dea l with it , M r~ Fa irl ~1 x was tired of picking up after her hu ~ hand and ~o wa' waitin g f(Jr him to ' ort it out , i\ lr C reen c wa~ not quite sure how to talk th e problem away, i\lr~ C rcene had <lhso lutely no idea what was going on , and l'v l r Davi low, M rs J)avilow, ivlr Dav il ow and ;\ lrs Davil ow we re waitin g for th e ri ght moment fo r 1r Dav ilow to take charge of th e sit ua ti o n. O nce th e)' had all calmed dow n and stopped '> lclri ng ,11 :VI rs Crcene, Mr Fa irt~1 x lean ed back in his chair, looked ro und at the othe rs, and slowly cleared his th roa t. Th e rest took th i ~ to mc,ln it wa~ be't to leave it. tvl r~ Fa i r l~l:>. clawed the tablecloth ~o intensely her knu ckle-, we nt bone-whit e. i\ lr Fairfax took no


noti ce. betwee n them, the majo ri ty of the p.lrt )' had bee n loo kin g toward 1\ I r F,1irl~l X fo r advice, who ignored their silen t f1leas. her knu ckles we nt bo ne- white. 1\ Ir Fairfax took no no tice. Th irt )·-four minut es lat er, wit hout a word hav ing been p a~sc d between th em, th e maj <n ity o f the party had been looki ng towa rd ;\lr Fairl~1 x for adv ice, who ignored th eir sil ent pleas. Witho ut wa rni ng, the ancie nt grandl:1 th cr clock in the west corn er burst in to life, blarin g out clings and don gs like nobod y's business. T he whole part y was startl ed bu t managed to restra in th emselves, apart from i\ Irs Greene, who proceeded to sc re,un in terror, not stopping until i\ lr Greene grabbed hold of her shirtco llar and yell ed at her to be quiet. The shock of he r hw,ba nd '> peakin g so violentl y to her cull ed her into submi ssion. The stunn ed shriek of tv l r~ Cree ne mea nt the co mpli ca tion bec1 me f~n more serio us. \ \'here th e o t he r~ had do ne their ut most to ignore the ve ry large issue stand in g qui et ly in the corner, the issue no longe r wished to ignore th em, and trum peted loudly. ~o o ne was sure when they had first noti ced th e eleph ant, whi ch through the ~ il ence had kept itself occup ied by looki ng around, leani ng fo rward to exa mi ne ca refull y the co nten ts of a trop hy ca binet, but it had beco me in creasin gly di ffic ul t to ignore. The bi g grey bulk now turn ed it~ cumbersome head towa rds him and nar rowed ih eye~ s u ~ pi c i o u s l y. M r Crce ne looked to his wife fo r su ppo rt, onl y to see a fl ood of tea rs '> tr-cami ng dow n he r face. l ie tho ugh t it was sa fer to turn back to the elepha nt. The next time the old clock chi med , the gro up ha d collecti ve ly dec ided, via d se ri es of understand ing nod-,, that they we re to co nt inu e th e dinner part y as if they had never seen the huge Afri ca n mammal standin g un comfort abl y close to the table. The reaso n t<.) r this was that i\1r Fairfax had realised that if the elephant did no t lccl at <.dl awk ward , th en neith er sho uld th ey. As he had onl y dea lt with elephant s previo us!)' for th eir ivo ry, his exact th ought process was something to del with hi s annO)'ance that he had not spent six yea rs o f his life shoo tin g th ose wrinkl y bastard s to be outsmar ted by one now. Th e elephant had a slightl y diffe rent th ought p roces~ , m,li ni )' revolvin g aro und grass, wate r and th ese strange people th at avo ided look in g at hi m. The conversation aro un d th e table .'>w ift ly moved throu gh va rious topics, supplied by Mrs Fa irl~1x, until th e co mpany h.1d <t lm ost f() rgo tt en the unin vit ed animal's ex istence, .1part fro m when th ey we re int errupted br bl ari ng tr umpet call s. The did not make no ise fo r an y particul ar reaso n; he just liked that th e litt le people sitt ing clow n fl inched dra mcltic dl y whenever he opened his mouth . i'v Jr., Grccne in particular was beco min g increasi ngly terrified, on ly able to co ntro l he r invol untary shaking for fea r of her hu ~ b a n d\ d isa pp rova l. i\lrs Fairl:1x and th e two ;\1rs Davilows, in co nt rast, were annO)'ed mo re than anrthi ng else, with ,\ lrs Fair li1x wonde ring \\h)' such a crea ture had to '> udde nl y appea r at her party of all pl aces. ;\l r

Creative Writing Events Tuesday 15th March Norwich Poetry Club featuring Caroline Bird Norwich Poetry Club is back with a very special reading from Caroline Bird. Featuring support from Faber New Poet Tom Warner, Hannah Walker and Martin Figura. From 7:30pm sharp at The Bicycle Shop, St Benedict's Street. Tickets are £5

Sunday 20th March - Vocal Invention Featuring readings from three extraordinary poets in George Szirtes, Andrew McDonnell and Agnes Lehockzy. From 8pm sharp , also in The Handle Bar downstairs in The Bicycle Shop on St Benedict's Street. Tickets are £5

Monday 21st March -Word of Mouth presents Steve Larkin and Tim Wells Experienced spoken word performers Tim Wells and Steve Larkin perform at Word of Mouth, wi th support from Martin Figura and Alex Iamb. Compered by Amy Wragg. From 8pm at Norwich Arts Centre. Tickets are £5. Cafe/ bar is available.

Tuesday 29th March - Sadie Jones at UEA Spring Literary Festival Winner of Co ta First Novel award, Sadie }ones will be appearing at the UEA Spring Literary Festival reading from her new emotionally-charged novel Small Wars. From 7pm in LTI. Tickets are £6. The event is hosted by Andrew Cowan.

Gree ne did not rea ll y min d the ma mmoth's presence, looking on the bri ght side, it wo ul d ce rt ain !)' act '"a grc,l t anecdote in th e future. i\1 r Davi low was wo rried hi ~ in ac tio n woul d ath ersely affect his reputati on. The elephan t, taking all of this in wi th hi-, yellow-brown eyes, dec ided it wou ld he am using to up his game, and so began taki ng an ac tive p,H t in the d inner co nvcrsdti on. \\'hil e ,\ l r Gree ne was in a middle o f a diatribe co ncer ning immigr.1tio n, the grey tru nk wormed its way dow n and -, lurpecl up a glass of cha rdon nay that no o ne h.1d touched. ;\ lr Grel·ne bro ke off, mo menta ril y ~u rpr iscd , but dec id ed to ca rry on befo re the elephant start ed to th ink it could do whatever it liked. Uni(Jrtun ately I(Jr i\ I rs F airf~Lx, 1\ l r C ree rlL' had not re .., um ed fas t enough. The chardo nn a)' burst from the trunk 's hold , tl yin g across the table, C\'Cr)' sin gle d ro pl et landing on the hos tess. 1vlrs Fairf:lx screa med with ,1 combinati o n of ind ignatio n, rage, annoyance, upset and res ignation. The elephant trumpeted vic tori o us!;· and con tinued to te rrori'c th e f)a rt y as th e ni ght went o n, knockin g bottl es of wine over and flin gin g cutl ery off th e tabl e, occa ~ i o n a ll y slappin g the guests with his trunk. i\ Irs Greene had a nervous hrc<lkd ow n not lo ng ar·ter, lead in g i\ Ir C ree ne to begin a seri es of lectures enti tl ed 'Wh y yo u shoul d stand up to,\ problem, not igno re it'; 1\ lr Fa iri:1x sl<lyed at ho me whil e ;\ lrs Fairf1 x took hi s gun and we nt to th e zoo, evc ntu,dl y rece ivin g a number of years in prison for attempted poa ching; 1\ lr ,md i\l rs Dav il ow ~ p e nt th e rest of the ir li ves exa minin g elephants in va riou ~ h ab it at~ in a \\lin att empt to determin e how one co uld be tcleported h.llf,,·ay .1ro un d the wo rld ; and i\ 1r and l'v l rs Dav ilow rl'ce ivcd po,tca rds fro m th eir ,iblin g~ . Th e elephant wa~ nc,·cr -;een again.

NEXT ISSUE The theme for the next issue is: 'Unexpected'

Please email your submissions to uk

by 23rd March


~~~n •""'·!StmiWI!II;I!iln-=_ •

PRIMETIME>Jamie's Dream School Channel 4, Wednesday, 9pm

REALITY >Hotter Than My Daughter BBC Three, Tuesday, 8.30pm

famie's Drea111 School is yet another programme where )amie Oliver plays the hero but this time his heroics have nothing to do with his food. Half of today's kids leave school with less than the required GCSEs to allow them to continue onto further education and this is something jamie wants to change. He takes over a school using 20 teenagers who have flunked their G Es to be his students, along with some of the most famous and respected people from the subject fields to be their teachers, for example Simon allow teaching English and Rolf Harris teaching art. The hope is that these teachers being able to teach what they want how they want will be able to inspire the teens to give education another go. One major flaw of this programme is that the kids have absolutely no idea who many of these 'teachers' are, so there is no reason why they would listen to them any more than they did their real

This February, reality show Hotter Than My Daughter returned for a second series. So what can we expect this time? ' Hotness Heaven' i still the place to be to grab your makeover and the experts are on hand to change the appearance of both mum and daughter. Gone are the hotpants that mum nicked for a night out and that shapeless hoody that the daughter is so keen to wear as Liz MClarnon is on hand to turn both into respectable human beings. Having done so well the first time around it is clear that this BBC 3 show is now receiving proper funding; there is more screen-time for the pair who are up for the makeovers and the host wastes no time in plucking the nation' heart trings in support for the daughter. With more interaction guaranteed between Li7 and the disastrous duo there is plenty for the enthusiastic voyeur to enjoy. Gone is the room full of photos of famous

teachers . The students are typically unruly, immature, and uninterested, and given that none of these teachers have any idea about how to deal with kids the classes are rather uncomfortable to watch. This inexperience with children shines through when David Starkey, filling the role of history teacher, insult a boy in the cla s because of his weight without any provocation. It's a shocking moment and his behaviour causes a rift between him, jamie and the headmaster. It seems as if things are going to go to pot before the show has even properly begun. However what jamie is trying to do should be commended as it is tackling an important issue, whether or not it will work we can only wait and see, the teens seem like hopeless cases, but we may end up being surprised Helen Jones


With the BBC giving Outcasts the boot from primetime,Venue take a closer look at the BBC and whether the channel has given up on new innovative drama ... Outcasts follows the colonisation of a new planet with a big cast that includes Spooks' Hermione orris and Ugly Betty's Eric Mabiu. For one thing, original sci-fi is seldom seen on the BBC one and two, especially with something so highly conceptual. The first episode enticed 4.5 million viewers, so the concept (and advertising) was certainly seen as attractive to audiences. From there is where it went downhill, slowly dropping 2 million pairs of eyes until it was moved to Sunday and since then it's dropped further from there.

It has to be mentioned that it clashed with My Big Fat Gypsy \\'edding and that is no mean feat for anything, unfortunately. With no backup plan , the 9pm Monday slot has been replaced by a mix of shows such as Motorway Cops and Waking the Dead. Beyond Outcasts, the BBC have been working hard at getting new drama off the ground. There is a very long list of new shows on their website which includes The Crimson Petal and White and Stolen. They are, of course, dominated by adaptations and period pieces yet urprisingly also include a little sci-fi. Touch, in which the vengeful dead

walk the Earth and a geeky character has to stop them, i · however going to be on BBC3. All the new programmes will be refreshing but it may be that BBC I shies away from ~uch fantastical things in the near future. It appears that the BBC high quality production of Outcasts wasn't enough for viewers to return to the show each week. uch a short series of 8 episodes may have prevented the audience figures from stabilising, so perhaps the BBC were right in their choice. They certainly have plenty more fish available in the BB sea. Natalie Steph en son



women and their mums, instead a glam catwalk divided in the middle lets both mum and daughter stride confidently towards the camera and the awaiting audience. Instead of gawking at the mum's dress sense, the viewer is drawn into feeling ~ympathetic for the daughter who not only has to put up with mum's breasts spilling onto the dance floor but also has to deal with major insecurities about her own looks. l n this respect this revamped show is fantastic for drawing out the ' inner woman', something that can be achieved through a critical public jury, amazing makeovers and heart-to-heart chats with Liz. With this successful revamp of the show it seems likely that it will be back for a third run in the near future. So, if you want to take your mum on this show be sure that you are up for a good counselling session as well as a sexy new look ... Sherie H arkcom

~ il

Iss ue 254

10 IL---~---W__~_____________________________________________________________________________l_5_th_M__a_rc_h_2_0__ 11

COPS AND ROBBERS This issue, we put our favourite crime shows on trial.

Law and Order: UK

Life On Mars

ITV 1, Monday, 9pm

Series 1&2, Currently Available on DVD

We ca n <Ill brea the a ,igh of relief: L111 V c!Orrlcr: UK is bac k o n our sc ree m for se ri e-. f(lll r. Th e crime ge nre is sa turated with America n shows and glossy Amer ica n settin gs, so h.w in g th e fantasti c Lclll' (-On /er: UK co mpete with th em is a joy. OK, 'o it is a sp in-off fro m thL' US o ri gin al, an d ye'>, it doe'> recycle prc\·io u' storrlin es fro m it , now defunct pare nt 'cr ie'>, bu t if it ain 't broke, then wh;· lix it ? The new scrie.'> kicked ofT on i\ l.1 rch IOth in glorio u'> fashion, with a ..,tory of a murdered <.'.\-Premiership footballer IVith link' with a notoriou-, gang, tn, l ~oh i\ 1.11·-,h , ,1\ld the only witnc_.,. , able to put him behind bars being thre.ltened by 1\l.~r,h\ men. ~ound ,1 little clichctP Pnhaps, hut thi.., i-, where I .:!-0: L'/\ shines bri~hte'>t. it i-, wry much ,1 f'roduct of J)iLk Wolf

(crea to r o f ll' 11 11 d On/a) as it sti cks with th e fa cts, th e lega l ac tio n, and dialogue to tell th e stor y - no shoo t-o uts or hig h spenl car cha,es here. T he , how reta in ' it' Rr it i,h sense o f humo ur, whil , t neve r stray in g in to ca mp, kee ps th e mood seri o u' and chall engin g without eve r be in g dep ress in g, and the casti ng of lig ht ent ert ain er 1\rad lcy \Val,h con tinues to be an ,1bso lute revelatio n. it is ve ry reassur ingly 1\ ritis h, and ne\·er h<b London ever looked better on till' '>m.dl 'crecn th.111 when c.1pt ured by the on-local ion ..,hooting hcrL'. It is ,1 trea'>urL' th,It should, ,md ~Vill hopefully, be appreciated for many year' to come, <lnd one that'' you proud to he Brit i-,h. Tom Theedom

Li{(· 011 i\111rs will he fo nd l)' re membered ,Is one of, if no t th e, ~ r eate't po lice dr,I ma of the tirs t deca de of th L' 2 ht cen tur y. The 'e ri e, ,u rred John Simm (Ooctor \ Vlw, Sill le o( /)Ill}' ) ,\, Sa m T)·lc r, a modernday DC I who wakes up in th e sep ia to ned, smoked -,tained world of ,\ lanches ter, 197.1, under the 11\,Ive rick ,111d somew hat beergoggled eye' of DU Ce ne l lunt, pla)·cd with gusto b~- the terrilic Phi lip Clcnistcr (Cm uf("·tf) .

The greatest ,Jchic\·c n1<'nt of I if(- 011 i\111r,; \\,\s that it \\,Is nc\n le" th,111 cntcrt.Iining; e\·cry cpi-,odc i-, ,\ f,lllt.i'>l ic piL'Ce of lL'Ie\ ision . \\'ith intl'lli gc nt -,niph, -,h,Ir~' direction, ,Jnd a puerile- pano11h ol quot,1hle linL''> from thL' acid tongUL' of I)( I llunt. ;-_1oreowr, the fantastiLal elemL'nt of the -,ho\\'\ premise sl'ts it ,\ ~1,\rt from the· 1\l,Ijorit) of police

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1\ow in it-, eleventh ~nics, there C<ln be little doubt th,lt ( ','-, /: ( 'ri111c .'>ccuc i iii'C.<ti~lltiou i._, one of the clas'>iC crime ,hO\\'' of the ia'>t dcc,Idc . Although there h,I\L' been many ch,Ingc-, within the l,1st fCI\ year'>, it i~ clear th,lt the \\'inning _cs1 l(nmula i-, unlikely to become redundant <I ll )' time soon. Set in l.a.., \ 'cga'>, the show prO\·idcs an in dq1th look at the innl'I working'> of \ in ci ty', wi th -,omL' of the llHl '> t talked about storr l inL'~ in crime televis ion. Whe th er it\ the QuL· ntin Tarantino d ireeled 'Cr<IVL' I)a ngn' CJ1isodes, nr Jus t in l ~ i cbc r \ rece nt .1p pea rance, CS / always

manage' to giw the ,\Lidicnce -,omething that cannot he found cl,c\\'hcre; thi-,, combined with an altern,Jtive ,\e,thetic stde to other cri me show-,, i' \\hat 'eh CS/ ·II'·Irt. it h,1, rcguLirly been su~ge,ted th ,I t the loss of 'o man)' oft he core ch,Ir,IL ters, ,uch as Cil Cri,.,om, \\';IITiLk Brown ;Ind SMa Sidk>, h,1, radic.dly .1ltned the qu,IIity of the show. ll o\\'cver, the introduLtion of llr. R,Iymo nd I ,\ng-,ton (~1,,\)'L'd b:· I ,\UI'ellle rishhurnc) in the middle of scric.-, nine has -,ervcd more than .Ideq u ~lt cly to fi ll the ga l' left hy Cil Cri'>"llll. Helen Eaton

dr.1111,1s: it ,JII ow-, S.1 m Tvlc r to he th e modern eyes obsen·in g th e w id cs ~1 rcad ~noced ur a l malp rac ti ce in the 1\ ri ti sh poli ce .1 nd the broa der cu ltur,d pre jud ices of th e 1970\, in tu rn enabl ing the .llldic ncc to as k qucstio ib ,\bo ut the positive .md ncg,I ti vc ,1s pccts of our -,ocicty\ past. " The great es t achie ve ment of Life on Mars is th at it was never short of e ntertaining; ever y episode is a fa ntastic piece of televisio n"

Through thi' unique format, owr l\\'o series Lif(· 011 .\/11 ,._, rc-deli ned \\'hat po lice dram,\ could he in thL· 21-.t CL'Iltur:·, ,1nd <h -,uch it i, \ ital \·iL'\\'ing for 1:111'> of the gL'IlrL', and tck\'ision in general. Matt Ti db y


lru s 29th March Celebrating the achievements of students involved in the Union of UEA Students , from clubs & societies through to school reps. Know· of someone who deserves an award? Think a club ·or society have done amazing stuff this year? Want to make sure the hard work someone has put into representing students isn't ignored? P ick up a nomination form from Union Reception now! Nominations close Wednesday 16th March. ·

Sponsored by: i.

I •1


- oll

Courtesy Taxis



Issue 254 15th March 2011 ~~



Taking place in San Francisco between 28th February - 4th March, the Game Developers Conference (GDC) is the largest annual gather ing of game developers; ·consisting of an expo, lectures and award ceremonies, Choice such as the Game'Developers Awards aod the Independent Games Festival. Industry round tables are prevalent as well. This year's conference has not had any huge reveals of new games or hardware, but already announced titles such as Dead Island, the NGP (Sony's n ext generation handheld) an d Battlefield 3 have had a lot of significant coverage. For Halo fans, possibly the biggest news of GDC is the development of a new game series by Bungie software. One of the new games will be the fi rst non -Halo title the studio has worked on since joining Microsoft to release Halo: Combat Evolved. It will be a "massive m ultiplayer online action game;' said Bungie's lead network engineer David Aldridge. More info rmation has also been released about the NGP. The new console is said to be able to produce PlayStation 3 quality graphics. As the GDC is a developers conference, it made sense that Sony would try and fla unt the capabilities of the NGP. A tech demo of Uncharted Portable, which wil l be a game oo the NGP, was held. However, Sony was quick to emphasise that this was just a tech demo and not actual . gameplay. The graphics were absolutely stunning for a portable console and the touch screen capabilities, although a little out of place with Uncharted, looked promising. With the Nintendo 3DS launch closing in on March 25th, there was a strong showing of software on display. Titles such as Super Street fighter IV 3D Edition and Kid lcarus Uprising, as well as The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3DS, which is a remake of the Nintendo 64 classic that many see as one of the greatest games of all time. A 3DS Super Mario game was also announced, although not very many details were given; four screen shots were shown , giving way to speculation on whether Mario would return to the Mushroom Kingdom or continue in a Super Mario Galaxy type world. The logo for the new title also had a tail akin to Super Mario 3. Let the speculation begin! Well, until E3 at least. ·Other notable news from the GDC

includes Dead Island, which bro~.:ght the Format: PS3, 360, PC, Mac, iPhone, iPod touch and your ears will be flooded with zombie taunts and the sound of the plants working to destroy gam ing world to its knees with its hc.rrowing Release: Out Now them. trailer a couple of weeks ago. From the RRP:£39.99 ·As the name of the game suggests, it doesn't gameplay trailers it looks to be ffii)re of a Dead Rising type of zombie game with a focus A hoard of zombies is gathering to attack take itself too seriously; between rounds you on body count rather than a Resident Evil your house; human nature dictates you must receive amusing letters from zombies warning style zombie encounter with more empha,is defend it, ~ut how? Reach for yow- rifle? Wave you of their arrival, and throughout the game on story and survival. Some may see this as a chainsaw? Toss unwanted records? No, these you can buy useful upgrades and you can read disappointing after the very emotionally have all been done. Popcap Games have a new, descriptions ofevery plant and zombie including charged trailer. More information was given and dare I say .it, more satisfying answer: plants. tiny but genuinely funny back stories. With the console edition of the game comes about Batman: Arkham City too. Story It's what we've been waiting for, a game that lets details containing a list of new and returning you strategically place vegetation with which co-op and m ultiplayer, which add a tremendous characters, including Cat to halt an impressive variety of zombies from amount of value to the game. . Competitive modes are genuinely fu n in their own right, Woman and Two Face, as well 'eating yow- brain: This really is all there is to it, but with 48 whilst playing through the main game with a as the news that Arkham City will be five times bigger than impressive and amusing plants and 26 similarly friend adds another element and is well worth Arkham Asylum and that clever types of zombie, the game offers enough doing. Controlling the gan1e with an analogue stick is surprisingly intuitive, though the there will be no multiplayer. depth and variety to easily take you through Move support is Battlefield 3 was given an its 50 rounds. These are split into ......----~ omission of so mew h at autumn release date a nd five levels, each baffling. visually spectacular single of which offer This is a player gameplay was shown. a different game that Battlefield 3s annou:1cement o b s tacl e d e ma n d s as a Q4 release has sparked the restricting to be plarit question whether it will be your played, and, able to challenge Modern use and forcing you to with the Warfare 3s place as the fi rst constantly change addi t i ons, person shooter ever yone strategy. None of this, though, there has never plays this autumn. With better time to find no m ultiplayer being captures the essence of the game; shown, traditionally DICE's it quickly speeds up, making you plant strongest area, gan:ers will at a speed that reminds you that your have to wait and see. To subconscious is smarter and summarise the other main news faster than your conscious Mehul Samani Resistance 3 multiplayer was mind could dream of being. shown as was Gears of War 3 The screen will fill with m ultiplayer. Guild Wars 2 was countless demoed and there was a new trailer revealed for Zelda: Skyward Sword on the Wii as well as many others. Sunday February 27th Sunday March 6th Along with gaming · -3Ds launched in Japan and sol<;l out. 400,000 - 3DS version of Ocarina of Time will include announcements and units gobbled up in less thah a day! Master Quest! demos, the GDC also has Monday February 28th Monday March 7th the Game Developers Choice -Ninja Gaiden 3 releases a tantalising teaser. -American McGee's Alice gets a sequel and Awards, which are voted for by -PS3s now face a 10-day European embargo its trailer was released today. A /ice: M ad ness game developers. The big winner due to LG winning a lawsuit. Returns. - Cr ystal Dynamics announce that a new Tomb was Rockstar Games' Red Dead Redemption Tuesday March lst collecting four awards, including Game of -Panasonic cancel their MMO-enabled Raider film is in the pipelines. the Year and Best Developed game. The other handheld 'Jungle' Tuesday March 8th notable winner was the sandbox building Wednesday March 2nd -Modern Warfare 2 gets its PS3 patch, fixes game Minecraft receiving three awards -Battlefield 3 gets a gameplay trailer. hacking problems supposedly. including the Innovation Award. Minecraft -Brand new Mario game co,nfirmed for 3D$. -Guitar Hero: WoR gets its post closure DLC. was also awarded the Seumas McNally Grand No details revealed bar a suggestive logo. Wednesday March 9th . Prize at the Independent Games Festival '-Apple unveil the iPad 2. Appears to be less -Unreal unveils the 'Samaritan' tech demo Awards, impressive for a game which is still exciting than its competitors. showing the U11rea/ 3 eng ine pushed to its technically in development. Overall, there Thursday March 3rd absolu-te limit - it looks unbelievably good. was a lot of good news and announcements -Call of Duty: Black Ops First Strike map pack -Kinect becomes th e fastest selling consumer during the conference. However, GDC is a hits PS3 electronics device; God help us alL developer conference geared more towards -Sony detail how NGP will use flash cards to Thursday March lOth developers meeting, sharing ideas and sell their triple A titles in stores. -Latest PS3 update seems to have re-secured recruiting rather than catering to the video Friday March 4th the system from hackers. For now. gaming press. For that we will have to wait for -Gears of War 3 Beta kicks off for 360 -Sony gets its injunction on European PS3's the industry's main showcase at E3 in June. Bulletstorm owners April 18th. lifted. For Now. -Halo. developer Bungie Games announces -Ape Escape Move is on its westward way! Josh Mott that its next title will be an MMO


Fun links to pass the time between socialising and learning.

There was a buzz of excitement in the air last week as Apple unveiled t heir iPad 2. Perhaps not so rriuch a buzz as a low drone. Wired Concrete UEA Less than a year since the release of the first Anyone who's anyone on the internet has a iPad , it seems a little too soon to be getting blog, and Tumblr is becomiqg increasingly excite~ abo ut a slightly newer, slightly popular. Wired now has itself a Tumblr, and thinner, slightly lighter model. it's an ideal way to keep on top of the latest and CEO Steve Jobs's surprise appearance greatest news for games, tech and all things at the la unch , despite being on medical internet. Give us a follow if you're a member, leave, demonstrates that Apple clearly felt and if not, get on board! there was something special about the n ew version of the iPad. Reviews se.e m to be generally full of praise and are impressed Charlie Sheen Soundboard with Apple's show of strength. From its experience with m ultiple Ever felt like you had Tiger Blood and were born winning? Maybe your favourite drug versions of the iPod, Apple all b ut knows is Charlie-Sheen · or perhaps you, too, just that the iPad 2 will sell. Whilst some wish you could be a madman who's career c ustomers m ay see it cyn ically as an attempt is spiralling out of control. This soundboard can't turn you into the machete-wielding to introduce a new, updated product into actor from Two and a Half Men, but it sure can the market when in fact the differences are let you have all the Sheen based fun you could miniscule and in the main cosmetic, the ever want. vast majority w ill not see past the shiny n ew back or exchangeable coloured covers. http:/ / Many people will feel much safer in buying storage/charliesheen.swf the second instead of the first model of Online Garners Anonymous the iPad since it imp lies b ugs and other issues have been Ever feel that you play too many games? Would worked out. you say you're ;tddicted? Never sure how long W hether you spend playing a game? Is your heart racing are as you flee ·from danger in a game? Basically, you're addicted to games if you play a game and · o r Literally feel any reaction to it. Online Garners Anonymous is here to help, or to provide you with hours of hilarious 'self help' entertainment.

differences between the first iPad and. the secolld is ir relevant. If there are, then these changes can hardly have been new i nn ova ti ons between April 2010 and the m an u f a cturing of the iPad I 2. Anything included in the new iPad could surely h ave been built into the first version, adding credence to the cynical interpretation of the unveiling. If t here are no major differences, clearly the iPad 2 is intended in part to convince those who h ave not yet purchased an iPad that, since they will be ge tting more for their money than before, they surely wan t to choose to buy one now. Like M r Jobs's appearan ce on stage at the unveiling in San Francisco, the iPad 2 is more of a symbolic statement than a revolutionary new step. It serves as a reminder to any potential competitors that Apple have no intention of letting themselves be caught. The issue cannot be whether or ·not there

was a need for improvement in such a new p roduct but rather h ow long _ , Apple could afford to rely on the first incarnation of the ~ iPad to compete against an .~ ever-growing number of r ivals. They are not only market leaders, they also created the mar ket and they are designing the route · it will take in the future. J They cannot affo rd to get "' complacent or allow th~ir competitors too much time to get comfortable in their picture of wh at tl1ey think they are up against. To those unconvinced by the entire tablet endeavour, the iPad 2 is a sym bol of longevity and the intention of Apple to continue innovating and updating the prod uct unt il it is as popular as th e iPod. To those tech nophiles who like to stay so far ahead of the crowd that they could never buy into th e first generation of a product it is a simple prod in the side to say, ' Now, yo u can buy yourself an iPad.'



inSSlDer is a neat li ttle program that scan s the area around your computer for WiFi networks. Any OS can do that, but won't prov:de the same level of detail. Besides the relat ive Signal Strength and sec urit y of each network, inSSIDer shows what cha nnel each network's router is using, unlike Windows. Given the proliferation of WiFi devices, channel pollution might just be the reason your connection slow. Besides inSSJDer presents information in a manner simplistic Windows does, and is often more responsive than Windows 7's network connection manager in the notification tray. If you're having trouble with your WiFi connect ion, try this program before you t ry changing ISP!

DroidShooting is a great exam ple of an augmented reality game available fo r Android-based devices. The concept is simplistic: the user 'aims' the phone's camera / ahead of th em, three dimensi?nal droids fly around and tapping the screen shoots a laser that destroys them. Notably, as the droids circle around, you are driven to physically turn and track them looking at the world t hrough the phone's screen, leading the players to look amazingly funny to watch. This is only a game, but it's a great example of how augmented reality can lead users to do things they never expected with their devices, and there are more practical applicat ions available.

Emma Garrett

Some . of the best, most interesting or just downright funny people tweeting right now! @GetPregnant If you or someone you love is struggling to get pregnant, read this for great tips. They got babies, they got tips for making babies (including some int eresting positions with video links), they got random stories about stolen babies. They got everything you need to know about growing your very own little people, so get following and get pregnant. @funeralplanning You don't want to be figur ing out. what you need for a funeral when your loved one has already died . Be prepared by following funeralplanning. @Simon-i:>alley Between bouts of depression and blood clots, this aspir ing football manager is determined to lead Man Utd to succ~ss. H e also enjoys H ouse, ice-cream and gay nights at Norwich's very own Waterfront. Follow if you're looking for a fun guy to enjoy life with - he puts the dix back in· He!en Rix. DJ Turner

Here's one of the choice facebook groups doing rounds at the moment! HOW TO DO PHONE SEX! WE CAN LEARN HERE! LET'S ENJOY The name is self-explanatory. Amateur, transgender, hot, informative, private, confused, arousing. These are just a few of the key words used to describe this very open group, which aims to "get your girl wetter than a monsoon." Despite having no remaining admins, the group caters for all kinds of phone sex fetishes. Although there is nothing they don't know that you don't already know, there may even be a few surprises in store. Feel free to share tips and ticks or just sit back and observe the wonders that this group puts out on offer. However you have been warned, this isn't for the faint of heart and or those who can't handle sexual repertoire. In the end, there is something here for everyone, including 385 very horny members for own amusement. DJ Thrner

htt p:/ / w ww. me t pro duc t s/ inssider/

Available on Andoid Marketplace William Moran





THE ADJUSTMENT BuREAU •••••••• ••• •••• •• •••• •Director: George Nolfi ••Release Date: 4/3/11


............ ...... .•• :****" ~

"You don't have free will; you have the appearance of free will'. With these words, Adjustment Bureau worker Thompson obliterates the last thing young congressman David Norris (Matt Damon) thinks he knows about his own existence. David truly believed that it was chance that brought himself and the beautiful ballet dancer Elise (Emily Biunt) together in the men's bathroom as he was preparing for his speech during the race for Senator. But an accidental slip by the Adjustment Bureau leads to David being exposed to their world and all of their

pre-prepared plans for his destiny. He quickly learns that these men in suits, the Powers of Fate, will drag him and Elise apart just as fast as they have thrown them together,. David is left with a decision to make: accept the predestined plan set out for him or fight to do the impossible and change his own destiny. .His quest leads him on an endless chase through New York City as he struggles to control a world he no longer fully understands. The Adjustment Bureau is an adaptation from science-fiction writer Philip K. Dick's short story 'Adjustment Team' and is the directional debut for Bourne screen writer Ultimatum


George Nolfi. With this film, Nolfi. has managed to create a fast-paced, twisting thriller which still maintains a light-hearted romantic

supposedly being the cause for Universal's choice to push back the release date of The Adjustment Bureau's from September

undertone throughout. The light-heartedness may surprise audiences due to the inevitable comparisons to the recent thriller Inception (the release of Inception·

to March). However, this less serious approach to the philosophical theme provides a refreshing change within the sci-fi genre, which has so thoroughly explored


such ideas in recent years. mother tongue. The romance between By keeping focus tightly Elise and David should on the romance Nolfi appear contrived due to the ensures that the viewer does old · Hollywood favourite not get bogged down in of the instantaneous long-winded explanations connection upon their first of who and what are the meeting but .it is given an Adjustment Bu(eau. This amusing and believable take means that we are kept through the undeniable on- guessing throughout the screen chemistry between film and are held in suspense Damon and Blunt. right up to the penultimate Both give great moment. The only issue performances; D a m o n audiences may have with this clearly enjoying the role film is its conclusive moment of the bad boy of politics which, while sa6sfying, and Blunt using intelligent, could be argued to indulge snappy lines to keep her from too heavily in romanticised becoming the forgettable ideals. Overall, though, it's a romantic interest. However, smart, action-packed watch she does seem to struggle to which will have you mulling maintain a constant accent, over its ideas of fate and beginning the film with· destiny for days after. a New York twang before Lorna Pontefract switching back to her British


· ~


• ••••••••••••• • • • • • • •

• •• •• •• •• • •• •• •• • •• • : Director: Gore Verbinski: : Release Date:4/3/11 :



••••• •••••••••••••••

The premise of Rango is that it's an animated family film in the style of a Western (albeit with desert critters in place of humans) whose biggest selling point is Johnny Depp voicing an animated chameleon. At first glance nothing about this seems exceptional, however, this is deceptive, as Rango proves to be an eclectic, original and welldesigned film filled with charming characters that -entertains totally and is hilarious to boot. Bearing in mind that this is not a Pixar or even a Dreamworks production but rather a collaborative effort between Industrial Light

& Magic, Blind Wink, GK

:oirector: Doug Liman : Films and Nickelodeon : Release Date: 11/3/11 • •• Movies, the animation, visual • style and sound design are ••••••••••••••••••••• Based on true events, phenomenal. The humour appeals as political thriller Fair Game much to adults as to children tells the story of CIA agent (although it is worth noting Yalerie Plame (Naomi Watts) that it is a PG and there are and her husband Joe Wilson some deaths which may upset (Sean Penn) and their younger children) and the struggle to clear their names narrative, while playing off of allegations of treason. some classic Western tropes, When George Bush feels fresh and engaging. makes an announcement, In fact the references to a based only on a speculative leak, that dizzyingly wide range of intelligence other films (from Chinatown lraq are building nuclear to A Fistful of Dollars) and weapons Joe Wilson feels genres suggest that it was he must tell the country the made with an adult audience truth, putting his wife and in mind from the outset. family at risk. All in all an accomplished, It is an interesting story . "enchanting film. and is well played out on screen. Watts plays the role brilliantly shifting between Tom Graves acting the calculated CIA

agent at work and the wife and mother at home. Penn plays Joe as being slightly callous and pig-headed, making it hard to feel much sympathy for him, but adding an intere.sting dynamic to their relationship. One failing of this film was the erratic camera work, which works perfectly for action films, (for example director DougLiman has also used the style in the Boume films), but in a political drama, it does not. The excessive camera movement opposed with the sti11ness of the actors on screen created a horrible, sickening motion, and due to this much of it was physically difficult to watc):J.. Unfortunately this ruined an otherwise good film. HelenJones

• ••• •••• •••••••••• ••

:Oir: Jaume Collet-Serra !Release Date: 4/3/11

: :

•• •• •• •••••••• •• ••••••••••

The first half hour of Jaume Collet-Serra's Unknown is basically an extension of the trailer. Liam Neeson is Martin Harris (or is he?) a biologist arriving in Berlin for an important summit who is left with a fuzzy memory and seemingly no identity after a freak car accident. As things go from bad to worse Neeson gets to practice his 'politely bewildered' face for roughly two hours and the audience may well be left wondering whether this film is worth their time, let alone the ticket price. Harris pieces together the fragments of his life with nothing seeming to add up.

Why are leather clad heavies dogging his e"l(ery footstep? Why is he surprisingly adept at defending himself? And what is his wife not telling him?" If all of this sounds familiar, it's because it's basically The Bourne Identity but not as well written or nearly as well directed. It's not all bad however and during the last hour things do seem to improve, very slightly. There are twists and turns aplenty and Neeson is convincing and likeable as the lead; if he hadn't already done something remarkably similar during last year's Taken, perhaps this fi.lm wouldn't seem so tired.

Beth Davison

Issue 254 15th March 2011



•Dir: Bobby Farreuy : Release Date: 11/3/11


• ••

• • •

•Hall • • • Pass • • • •is• •the • • •latest • • • • •film •• release by the Farrelly brothers, who previously gave us movies such as There's something about Mary and Dumb and Dumber, but unfortunately Hall Pass doesn't compare. Hall Pass stars Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis who play the roles of two married men who are granted a week's 'pass' from marriage, with freedom to live out their sexual dreams without consequences. But they're less than impressed when their wives (Fischer and Applegate) are also tempted to let loo e. With a short running time of a mere 98 minutes, it's got enough humorous lines scattered through it to keep

the audience's attention, and the casting choices hold the film together. The onscreen chemistry between Wilson and Sudeikis IS believable and provides some of the best moments. Yet the funniest scenes were all shown in the trailers and it made the rest of the film drag - the audience merely left waiting for the next punch line that they saw through the advertising. Finally, a lot of the humour is just plain crude and embarrassing. Overall there seems to be no other way to describe Hall Pass apart from to say that it is average. The funny moments 111 the film make it worth seeing but ultimately it is predictable and forgettable.

Beth Hulett

•••••••••••••••• T••• •Director Jonathan Eng ish • :Release Date: 4/3/11 :

• • • • • •Having ••••••••••••••••••• been forced by rebel barons to s1gn the Magna Carta, King John (Paul Giamatti) acquires the service of Danish mercenaries to help him violently reclaim his country. Baron Albany (Brian Cox) and his small group of warriors, defend the strategically important Rochester Castle from the King's mercenaries in an attempt to foil his plans. Ironclad tells the story of a minority battling courageously for freedom against an overwhelming adversary, a familiar premise in Hollywood, from Zulu to The Lord of the Rings, yet the film manages to compensate for its overused storyline, and successfully distinguishes itself



: Fifm .-· .j'

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1 L

from earlier films. Its graphic imagery presents a gritty and entertaining depiction of a violent and brutal past, where men were cleaved in two in the frantic chaos of battle. Ironclad eventually succumbs to Hollywood tendencies, featuring slow motion battle sequences, and the relationship between lsabel and Marshal! reaches its predictable climax, but none of these detract from Ironclad's crude sincerity. Like Baron Albany, who declares to King John, "Yo u are no more a King than the boil on my arse': the film is brutally honest, immensely vulgar, and hilariously graphic, and for those reasons it is definitely worth seeing.

James Burrough

••Dir: ••••••••••••••••••• Jonathan Liebesman • :Release Date: 11/3/11


• • • • • • •••••••••••••••••••• Take every alien invasion movie cliche, stick them in a blender and throw the resulting mess at the screen, and what you'll get will probably be a lot like Battle:

Los Angeles. Apparently the movie is based on an expected air raid that never happened during World War II, but somewhere along the line an idea with interesting potential turned into a bloated, by-the- numbers action flick. There was some hope for this story of U.S. Marines battling aliens in war-torn LA: the visual effects are solid, there's plenty of noise and action for the popcorn

mov1e fans to enJoy, and leading man Aaron Eckhart does his best with what he has to work with (a far cry from his role in The Dark

K11ight). Sadly, that amounts to flat dialogue, cardboard characters and a predictable, paper-thin story that struggles to sustain itself over the film's modest running time. Other than Eckhart's own character, the cast - and even most of the action scenes - fail to interest. By the end, even diehard shoot-'em- up fans will be fidgeting 1n their seats waiting for the film to end. If you want some alien action, you're better off rummaging around the bargain bins where this one belongs. Joseph Mead






••Dir: • • •Thor • • ••• 'J ••••••••• Freu enthal :Release Date: 7/2/11


• •• •...!: .•, •••••••••••••

•Dir: Kichard Bracewell : Release Date: 28/2/11


• • • • • • •• • •• ••• •• • • • • • • Middle school is a nightmare. Thrown to the bottom of the scholastic food chain and forced to occupy that horrendously awkward space between child and teenager, the numerous booby-traps of day-to-day education are enough to leave anyone with a wealth of material for the psychiatrists chair in years to come. For Greg Heffley (Zachary Gordon), any hope of survival rests on claiming a title in that coming-of-age institution, the Yearbook. Unfortunately,



• • • •••••••••••••••• Greg's potential as 'Class Joker' or 'Best Dressed' 1s hindered by the family and friends around him, and he soon determines he will have to cut loose if he is ever going to make it out with a scrap of remaining dignity.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid, adapted from American author Jeff Kinney's novel of the same name, contains the perfect comic formula for young viewers, complete with cooties, tormenting older brothers and a plenitude of gross-out gags.

" --

Robert Capron steals the show as Greg's best friend Rowley, a plump kid with an embarrassing bowl haircut and a talking belly button as a friend. Whilst not exactly striking 111 its originality, Diary IS executed with surprisingly fresh colour and wit as Greg blunders through a list of schemes in the hope of saving his reputation. An assured hit for the kids, with enough to keep the rest of the family mildly amused. Steph McKenna

This is uncomfortable, isn't it?; Cuckoo's creepy Professor Greengrass (Richard E. Grant) aptly states. Set in London, this psychological thriller focuses on Polly (Laura Fraser), a star pupil who Grant is becoming obsessed with. She is a student researcher based in a hospital who appears to be in the tl1roes of a breakdown following an unexplai ned trauma. Frd!>er'~ chara<..ler spends most of the film looking di~turbed wandering in and out of the shadows in her gloomy flat, hearing voices and strange

noises. Is she cuckoo as the title of the film ironically suggests? Is she being manipulated by the professor for some kind of experiment, or by her insipid sister, or waster boyfriend? Although competently played Fraser's character lacks depth. We never know why she is so traumatised and she seems to be in a thick fog of confusion which never truly clears. Comedy actress Tamsin Greig who plays another researcher in the lab is woefully underused in a role so periphery it may as well

not be in the film. The cinematography is beautiful m places, witl1 the bleakness of tl1e film mostly coming across in closely shot frames as opposed to the acting. This is an attempt to create a clever thriller which leaves space for viewer interpretation, but all that is left are gaping plot holes and unanswered questions. Despite being an intriguing claustrophobic and unnerving watch Cuckoo is above all downright confusing. Sarraoun.ia Christianson

Issue 254 15th March 20 11







Of all the rece nt Ho ll ywood trend s- be it th e introduction of 31) cinema, or the surge of co mi c book adaptat io ns attempting to i-c pli c1 te th e ~ u cces> of Iron Mnn and rite /Jork Knight - there is o ne, whi ch has struck man y as parti cularl y greedy and unimagin ati ve, and that is th e co nsid erabl e number of twopart nove l adaptations hitting cin ema scree ns thi s year. With 7\viliglll: Hreoking /)tnvn and llll rry Pot/er ruul rite /)ell tltly Hllliolv~, as well as Peter )ackso n's adaptation of ).it!~ 路r<1 lkien 's, Tlte 1/o/J/Jit, all ex pec ted to be released in two p~1rts , it seems th at the splitting of hooks is beco min g a f~1 vo ure d strategy in ll oll ywood to utili ze th e popul arit y of so me no ve ls. Summit Entertainm ent and \Va rn cr l ~ros mai ntain that the decision to produce two fi lms fro m 13rmking Ullll'll and Tlte /Jcn thly /-/allows was made to sa ti sfy th e fans of the books, by allowing the direc to rs more freedo m to ex pl o re the dense novels. Howeve r, th e man)' d isco ntented film goc rs


<~re un co nvi nced that th e chance for double protit did no t also make a sig nifi can t co ntribution to these dec ision s. Th e potenti al profit of adapt in g a nove l int o multipl e film s was not reali sed until New Line Cin ema bra ve ly ag reed to fund Peter )ackso n's adap tati o n o f Tlte Lorrl of tlte l?ings as a trilogy. Ot her '> tudi os were reluctant to o ffer th e am bitious project funding, in sistin g th at he co mpa ct the th o usa nd -page epi c int o one sin gle tllm. New Line's trilogy wen t o n to make $2 billion worldwid e. it is therefore unlikely th at

stud ios hcsit~1tcd when )ackson wa lked into their offices requesting fundin g for his two- part ~1d a ptation of the co mparati vely tin y prcqu cl, rite 1/o/J/Ji t. Des pite th e criti c !l acc laim of Tlte Delltltly 1/rtllow<: P([rt I, rev iew sit e, Rotten Tom atoes remarked that th e film "ca n't help hut fee l like the prelude it is". As a two- part fi lm con tain s o nl y a ~i n g l c narrative arc, th e first part will be unable to offer th e nar rat ive clos ure signifi ca nt chara cter or development that audiences ex pect from a tilm , it~ main function is to build

up anticipation for th e concludin g in stalment. /'art I will always be in fer ior to its successo r. Up until no w th e o nebook/o ne-fi lm ratio has provided bo th comme rcia l and cr iti ca l success for th e Tiviligltt and Harry Potter franchi ses. Tltc Co/Jiet of Fire and The Hrtl( 13/ood Priuce were both success full y adapted into single film s when th eir correspo nding boob .were cquallr a~ lengt hy as T!te Dmt!tly H (/1/o\\ '~. Yet now that the end of th ese successful franchises sight, th e app roaches s tudi o~ dec id e th at th e final books arc too 路 co mpl ex to be interpreted as sin gle tilms- coincident ly dela yin g th e se ri es' co nclu sions for another yea r. With th e ~ u ccess of T!tc /)catlt!y 1/ allmt '~ : Part I, which made $330 millio n in its opening weekend, and th e expected success of Port 2, it seems in ev it able that studi os arc goin g to co ntinu e produc in g multiple tllms fro m popu lar books, wheth er it is necessa ry o r not.


DuNGEON s & DRAGONS & DooBIES: We literall y just got it! it's like: Your Hi ghn ess. it's a pun! Like yo u'd address a mo na rch as ">'o ur highn ess", but ;dso like "yo ur high -ness" - as in , how hi gh yo u are' r\nd it works o n both leve ls, because \'c)[lr 1-/iglutcss is a ston er-co medy set in Th e Dark Agcsl Ycsl YES! So, an ev il wizard busts Prin ce )am cs Fran co's br ideto- be awa)' ("w ith magic. .. moth erfuckcr") . Franco " und c r~ tandabl y anno yed , and sets off on a qu est to ret ri evc her. He mu st, however, LHin g hi s fooli sh, la y-a bout broth er (Da nn y McBridc) with him . Na ta lie Po rtman turns up along th e way to kick som e ass grrrl-style and wea r <I chainmail thon g. Oh, and Zooey Deschancl IS in it , assumcdly doin g so mething a littl e off-beat and kooky.


T he twis t 1s that all th e chara cters speak 111 co nt emporar y ston er pa tois - which is just magical when pas~cd through th e fi lter of ~ h ak)' Shakespear ian accents. it 's Lorrl o( t!te aings meets Clteeclt & Clw ng - no w th ere's a 'hi gh'-co ncept pit ch (yo u ca n tr y out so me of yo ur ow n pun s at hom e). The three-and-a-half minut e restri cted trail er is bloody brilliant, and gives a prett y good indica tion as to th e shee r sca le of th e produ ction - all dra go ns a-blaz in g and swashes being we ll -and -trul y buckled. ph enomenal! )' Fran co's crap Engli sh acce nt IS reminisce nt of Kcv in Costn er's turn 111 Uo/Jin fl ood: Prince of 'J"It iel'cs (o penin g lin e: "t his is English co ura ge", spoken like a tru e

Ca lifor ni an). 1\lcRridc is textbook Club Shakes pea re, whi ch makes lin es about handling yo ur hi gh and the ramifications of anal sex with fu ture princesses all th e more gleefu l. 1\lo~ t promising of all is the prospect of Danny i'v lcBridc flnall y ge ttin g th e ~crce n tim e he dese rves. He's sto len th e show in prett y much every proj ec t he's been invo lved in thu s far, and thi s co uld ve ry we ll be th e fli ck that catapults him into th e Se th Rogen I )im Ca n-c y A- Iis t - co m ic - a c to r st rat osph erc. Added to whi ch, it see ms Fran co can do no wron g these da ys, a nd Portman 's always a good wa tch (bo th performan ceWISe and, :'a know, aesth eti ca ll y). Given th e critica l and


co mm ercial success of the tea m's last pic ture - ballsto -th e-wal l action-stonerbudd y-co medy Pincnpplc Express and th e still

somewhat untapped co mic potential of Dann y 1\lcBride in a leadin g role, th ere's no reaso n this sho uldn't be th e breakout co medy hit o f th e

yea r. In fa ct, it kind -of has to be, a~ it cost $ 150 millio n to make. Yo u co uld say th e stakes arc ' high'.

Issue 254 15th March 2011

THE PoPCORN CHART Feding a hit tender from the night before.'? ANNA FAs nu: provides the perf·ct film remed'



( 2009) an't remember the night before? Is it all a bit hazy? Let The Hangover refresh your memory. This comedy is centered around three groomsmen who lose their about-to-be-wed buddy during their drunken adventures in Las Vegas, so when morning comes they must retrace their steps in order to find him. As you re late to characters going through similar antics to those you've experienced, you can find solace in the fact that your hangover definitely isn't as bad as theirs. Let's just say there's a baby, a tiger and a chicken involved. The banter between these friends adds a brilliant sense of hilarity to get you laugh ing rather than reaching for a bucket. You'll sympathize with them

as they suffer the hangover from hell while trying to pick up the pieces of the night before, and soon you won't be fee ling so sorry for yourself.

up dramatically more than you ever did. Thi · British rom-com follows the diary of a woman desperately trying to find love whilst battling






DIARY (2001) Didn't pull last night? Feeling a little insecure? Never fear for Bridget }ones is here, and you can guarantee she'll mess






the everyday worries of a job, family and friends. Watch Bridget as she comically tries to win the heart of two potential heartthrobs and truly, utterly embarrasses herself at every opportunity. It'll have you cringing on your sofa as you watch her try to

conquer her troubles. After a nighr coming home alone, this film will give you hope. Hope that one day, you will find your Mr Darcy, just like Bridget }ones, and that he will like you, just as you are.

Still can't make it out of bed at 2pm? Don't worry, because you've got a friend in Toy Story. Hey, if your hangover continues past the first film, you have a movie trilogy of these fine animated friends to keep you company. Watch the toys come to life, as a young boy Andy gets a new edition to his cqllection, Buzz Lightyear. Andy's old and most cherished toy Woody is now consumed with jealousy and dislikes the new model, but when both toys get lost, they must depend upon each other on an adventure to find a way back home. As you


watch their friendship form upon screen, you can only feel warm and fuzzy inside. Oh yes, Toy story is like a comfort blanket of childhood nostalgia that will cure even the most stubborn of hangovers.

LtAI~, LIAR (1997) Said something drunkenly you shouldn't have last night? Are those words leaving a bitter taste in your mouth in the morning? Never mind,

watch Liar, Liar and you'll soon have no regrets. This film follows a fast-track, deceitful lawyer Fletcher ( }im Carrey) who becomes suddenly unable to lie at the request of his son's birthday wish. Watch the hilarity that unfolds upon screen, as Fletcher is forced to say exactly what is on his mind. This film exposes }im Carrcy's comedic geniw, at its very best, and if he can't pull you through your hangover, my God no-one can.

New Year, ew Gadgets.

e d



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_... Graci ng the cover of The Stree ts fi nal album is a rather stark image of a grade !I listed bui ldin g that ma ny UEA students call home, and just about d iscern able through the shad y, angular terraces and the red light s stands Mike Sk inn er in the middle of it all ; defi an t, ye t acce ptin g. The Stree ts have had a fun ny old rel ati onship with our campus ove r the last decade; raucous after parties, numero us performances, li ve reco rdings and now this artwork all confirm o ur suspicions that Mike has a spec ial affinit y with Norwi ch, on e tha t has endured all of his changes as an artist and it's perha ps fittin g then that th e perform ance tonight mim ics hi s chan ge in temperament.

Eve ryo ne who has turned up knows that the show the band are goin g to perform will be a slick mix o f cu lt cl as~ics and best sellers, and they know it is go ing to be brilliant, yet the atmosp here is an odd mix of melancholy and pa lpable exc ite men t. Rath er pred ictab ly the se tlist leans more towards the co mparati vely unpopu lar new material, but the old bange rs are still there in abu nda nce. ' Don't Mug Yourself' is as rousi ng as ever, th e do ubl e tim e kn ees- up at th e end of' Lets Pus h Thin gs Forward ' is frankl y in ce ndiary and by the time ' Fit But Yo u Know lt'/'Go ing T hro ugh Hell ' spin in the encore .the whole place is goin g mad. There see med to be hint of res ignati on,

Six month s aft er thi s rev iewer first witn essed Darwin Dccz's all sin ging, all da ncin g, glo ri o usly mo ustac hed show, th e New Yo rker a nd his travellin g band of hipsters arc back o n our fair shores . With no new album a nd not eve n a leaked so ng flitti ng abo ut th e Intern et, like a co mpromi sin g vid eo o f Kim Karda shi an , th e on ly ex pl anation can be th at Deez's epon ymou s debut has found a wid er audi ence. About tim e too as, un like ma ny of th e indi e reco rds that hit Ve nue's des k, it still so und s as fres h and enthrall in g as it d id o n first Iis ten. Th e fund amentals remain the sa me; pe rfec tl y cho reog raph ed dancin g a nd curi o us hip -hop/o pera boombox brea kd own s sti ll break th e se t up. \\!hat's mo re, Deez him self still loo ks li ke a man so totall y ove rwh elmed by the receptio n he's give n th at he o nly rea ll y speaks wh en engaging in an awkward joke with hi s band . But th at's not to say th at witn ess in g thi s for a seco nd tim e isn't wo rth every dam n penn y. Th e \ Va terfro nt is th e pe rfec t ve nue fo r him ; just small eno ugh to remain intim ate and just la rge eno ugh to ho ld th e new wave o f fan s, and des pite no t holdin g bac k o n th e

better kn ow n sin gles like ' Rada r Detec to r' and 'U p in the Clo ud s', it's tracks like ' Bomb So ng' and ' Rad Day ' th at arc th e bes t rece ived to ni ght. All thi s asid e th o ugh, it's o n hi s enr.;o re th at Deez reall y comes ou t of his shell. An un ex pected ly bea utiful so lo cover o f The Wee pi cs' 'Nobod y Knows Me At All' takes eveq rbody by surpri se and ce rtainl y all ays any fears that he will struggl e to p rog ress mu sica ll y. Th e wave o f sil ence th at gree ts it is a co mbi nati on of shock and reverence, a nd is a pe rfec t twist in a 'e t th at at tim es threatens to fall in to novelt y. Set closer ' Co nstellati o ns' is, of co urse, sung ba ck so lo ud tha t Dccz can hard ly hear him se lf, mea nin g that he leaves th e second ve rse to the crowd . Wh en he rea lises th at peo pl e are still sin gi ng th e first ve rse, he looks und erstand abl y embar rassed and a little shy in co rrec tin g his ado rin g publi c, prov idin g a fi tt ing end to hi s set. If Dccz rea ll y is goin g to keep go in g and keep grow in g, hi s nex t step is go in g to be brill ia nt to wa tch and how he dea ls wi th it may be even more fasc in atin g. Anybody fancy an indi e ' In Utero'? Al ex Ross

and perhaps even sadn ess behind a few of these renditions though and ind eed it's during th e slowe r num bers where !Yii ke reall y reminds us of his de part ure. Of co urse' Dry Yo ur E)'es' sparks th e fli cker of th e most light ers, but fo r th ose who listened carefu ll y, it 's the hea rt fel t perfo rmance of 'Neve r \Vent To Church' that is most masterfu l. ,Jike sin gs every wo rd wi th un fa lterin g precis ion, wi th no wi tty jibes ever li kel y to inter rupt the elegy to his lost fa th er. ow <1 thirty something marri ed man and a dad himself, it seems amazin g that Mi ke has kept up th e geeze r ac t for so lo ng, yet ban ter with th e punt ers, a few o n-stage gags and so me seri ous shapes are thrown all ni ght lo ng. By

th e end of th e night the crowd had lost all its inh ibitio ns and 1\like seemed read y to go. With the mut ual feelin g tha t we had all just witnessed so methin g specia l, si lence fell to th e roo m as Mike took to his pedestal to deli ver his fi nal messages. I le probably does th e same ro utin e every night but tonight his thanks for all of the support over th e yea rs seem mo re releva nt than eve r and almost brin gs a tear to the eye. just like that then The Streets we re go ne, and 1\ lichael Gco ffrcy Skinn er, king of the Bri tish urban scene fo r so lon g, had stood down from his thron e. Alex Throssell & Chalice Cox- Hynd

.. Issue 254 15th March 2011

19 f

GIG REPORTS In the credit crunch crisis of 2011, homelessness is more of an issue than ever. Unfortunately, Jordan Bright has been one of the victims left without a permanent abode. He's made the best of it though, taking up residencies in several of Norwich's most prominent music venues (well, given the frequency of his reviews, that's the conclusion that we've drawn). We get content, he gets a warm floor to sleep on. Win, win.

An evening of British folk music may not be everyone's cup of tea, but a packed Arts Centre was entertained by a performance from Inlay who turned out to be captivating, magical and utterly charming. The band, who recently won the Livewire Unsigned event in UEA's Blue Bar, opened with an accomplished number that highlighted their musical prowess and

skillfully crafted songwriting. Comprising of a violinist, guitarist, ban joist and accordionist/ percussionist, the Norwich based quartet played a series of sets that were divided according to the individual that arranged it, which helped create a varied performance. Although traditional folk formed the core theme of their repertoire, elements as diverse

The Go! Team have always excelled as a live band, and their performance at The Waterfront only served to compound this fact. Despite a four year break from recording they have constantly toured with past material; resulting in a tight, energetic set that show~sed the very best of their work. Proceedings were kicked off with support from Banjo Or Freakout: a London based trio who release their debut album this week. Heavily featuring swooning guitars they can be placed in the same cult as White Lies and Chapel Club; bands who are effectively trying, and failing, to replicate the sound of Joy Division. The Go! Team opened with track 'T.O.R.N.A.D.O.' which, as one of their worst, was hardly a wise decision. However, the band quickly gathered momentum playing fan favourites 'Huddle Formation' and 'Grip Like A Vice' from their first and second albums respectively. Lead singer Ninja's interaction with the crowd, coupled with the band's infectious energy soon pushed the performance to a higher level. Their set list sounded far edgier, largely due to the crunchier guitar rhythms, with the refined precision of their studio recordings sacrificed for clear garage-rock overtones; the end

result was an alternative, intriguing sound. They continued to knock out tunes with consummate ease, with members frequently switching instruments to keep things fresh. The band were clearly humbled by the level of support and their rapport with the crowd was evident; not many acts can so easily encourage attempts to "head butt the ceiling" as The Go! Team did. They certainly produced the goods, although their new material compared unfavourably with past standout tracks such as 'Ladyflash' and 'The Power Is On'. As the night wore on it became ever more apparent that The Go! Team sound hardly varied, and while it's a formula that works it caused the gig to peter out with a whimper, not end with a bang. The very essence of the band was summed up when Ninja questioned the crowd: "Who's new to The Go! Team?", two people raised their hands in reply, whereas when followed with, "Who's been with us since the beginning?", a sea of hands were lifted. Essentially while the group 'find no difficulty in satisfying existing fans, the decline in the quality and innovation of their material sees them unlikely to gain more. Still, their bass player looks a bit like Christian Bale, so they've got that going for them. ¡

as sea shanties and country music were present; producing a sound reminiscent of the banquet halls of the middle ages, seaside inns and Tolkien's Shire. Although lyrics were few and far between this only served to highlight the skill in which the varied array of instruments were manipulated. The end result captured both the imagination and respect

of the audience; if Inlay fail to gain wider attention it won't be through lack of talent. They were both poignant and aesthetically elegant; an effect that was aided in no small part by the striking setting of the Arts Centre itself. Ultimately, although folk may not be the most commercial of genres, it certainly proved entertaining on the night.




Issue 254 15 th Ma rch 20 11

GIG REPORTS In the flesh Yuck are a pretty languid bunch; the unnervingly bird-like l\1ax Bloom lopes about the stage swinging his guitar on the occasion,1l off-beat, l\lariko Doi hides behind her impressive fringe, and )onny Rogoff perches behind a transparent drum kit, revelling in the awesomeness of his voluminous afro. In fact the hair of Yuck is definitelr worth a mention; there's an impressive array of barnets on show, spanning the entire hair spectrum, from thinning tuftiness (apologies to Daniel Blumberg) across wiry tangles and thick fringes, ending up at the aforementioned incredible 'fro. The hair isn't the only thing that's brilliant about Yuck though; their set at the Arts Centre is incredible. Kicking off with the single 'l!oling Out', Yuck arc on a mission tonight. Unlike a lot of bands, they let the music do the talking; the banter between trat.ks is awkward and insipid, but endearingly so. Rlumberg has an unidentified liquid thrown over him at one point; cue a mumbled "please don't do that. .. if something goes wrong, or I get electrocuted and die ... erm it's your fault l guess".

, V


A mix of Belle and Sebastian, Metronomy and Crystal Castle~, Norwich's own Bearsuit' launched their brand new album 'n1c Phantom Forest at the Arts Centre last week. With an art-rock, punk pop style the five-piece group showcascd a colourful performance, with electronic twists and turns alongside a hell of a lot of uninterrupted energy. 'lhe 12-track long album spontaneously puts forward a bold new sound for the band, who have swapped violins, flutes and horns for funky synths, fierce guitars and infectious beats in the light of an impressive line-up change. 'I he album's a bit of a roller coaster to say the least; exciting, addictive, and more than a little over the top. Eclectic in taste, moving from an upbeat disco track, to a screaming indie tune, the band constantly take risks, and throw out the unexpected. And why not? Formed in 2001, it is safe to say Bearsuit's doing pretty bloody well, having previously played at various leading festivals including Latitude, Bestival, l he Great Escape and Offset, as well as several abroad such as SXSW, Emmaboda (Sweden) and CMJ in ew York, where they were voted 'Best Breakthrough Act' in a New York Times poll. "We're so chuffed with the new album:' said bassist Charlene Katuwawala. "it's fantastic when you have an idea of what you want it to be and then it comes to fruition and more:' !lands down, the band can safely and proudly say they don't care what people think. Being very much their own, Bearsuit seem willing to adju~l to whatever genre or style they like, as long as it gets people dancing .

\'\'ith notse on the sheer scale that Yuck achieve, witty rapport isn't really needed; the foursome make walls of epic, funy guitar, with piercing riffs a-plenty. '(~et Away' and 'The Wall' are thudding, dusty diamonds; perfect pop with just the right lack of polish. They're not just good at noisiness though; some of the better tracks start off as relatively constrained, tender melodies, before building into more raucous, riff-based affairs; 'Suicide Policeman' is gorgeously restrained and 'Shook Down' starts off in a ~imilar manner, but has a guitar solo at the end that couldn't be much more euphoric. Yuck's real talent lies in their ability to balance the two positives against each other; their final track, 'Rubber', is literally incredible. Slowly building from discordant strumming into what can only be described as a sort of mental fuzzy thrashing, it perfectly demonstrates the underlying ability behind Yuck; their ability to balance the echoing guitar riffs and solos against melancholic vocals and solid, restrained drum patterns, then just when a track is becoming predictable, collapsing it all into a beautiful, perfect, hazy mess. Scan Purdy

.. Issue 254 15th March 2011


I 5 studio albums into their career and you would think R.E.M. would be out of ideas, getting tired , or just plain giving up. Collapse Into Now, their most recent offering, however, shows the exact opposite.lf anything, the band appears admirably reinvigorated; a process

that began on their previous album Accelerate, a fast-rocking half hour of so ngs kept concise and immediate. Although Collapse into Now i a little longer, that element of concision is still present. Many of the songs are around the 3 minute mark, and the catchy pop rock

Well to be honest, what we all expected from The Vaccines is pretty much what we got. As mysterious and enticing as the album title may be, the band can't really escape that, to those who judge music based on band na~nes alone, they are just another 'The' band, and recently all that conjures are memories of sub-par mid -noughties indie acts striving to be as cutting-edge as lggy Pop. This claim isn't strictly unfounded in this case, as the group are very open abo ut their musical heritage, but The Vaccines self-confessed classic pop is a very long way away from such desperate deference. Yes, they are a four piece, most of them can sing, two of them play guitar, one bass and one drums, but if everyone turned their nose up at every band who stuck to this tried and tested method then The Beatles may as well have given up because snotty little hipsters would have slated them because they would have preferred a drum machine at the back of the stage (to be fair, Ringo would probably have been happy just getting talked to at band practice, even if it was just to tell him he was being replaced with a primitive computer which was essentially no better than one of those cymbal clapping monkeys. ) Anyway.. .is it worthy of criticism that The Vaccines didn't rely on fancy Macs and MicroKorgs to make their album? Of course

it fucking isn't. Rock ' n' roll has been guitar based for yea rs, and its still as relevant as ever. Where the Londoners really succeed though, more than some of their contemporaries, is from the quality of their song writing. They champion the music and let it do what it wants; be that the I min 24 secs of the driving 'Wrecki n' Bar (Ra Ra Ra )', the I min 38 secs of Ramones inspired 'No rgaard ' or even the more contemplative 'Wetsuit' and 'Family Friend' which push 4 and 6 minutes respectively. Ultimately it is the shorter, sharper direct tracks which are going to be most appealing though. ' Post Break-Up Sex' is a 21st Century remake of the romantic anthems of the 50s and captures the ideas of youth in a way that manages to avoid cliche and sounds, more than anything, genuine. 'If You Wanna' and 'A Lack of Understanding' also feature top notch lyricism, and 'Blow lt Up's chorus is so soaring that even those with the hardest of souls will be punctured by )ustin Young's vocal display. All of you, who will come into the album with reckless abandon and without the benefit of an interview with the band, might just be surprised at how varied and how competent this album i . Here at Venue we weren't, but that's not to say that what we expected is anything other than brilliant. Alex Th rosseU

number 'That Someone is You' clocks in at around one and a half minutes. Despite this, there are a few longer songs, and the album is all the better for it, giving the listener time to breathe. 'Walk it Back' is a slow piano ballad with Michael.Stipe's vocals at the forefmnt; as emotive as they ever were on big hits such as 'Everybody Hurts'. The almost 6 minute long album-closer' Blue' sees the band at their most experimental for some time, featyring Patti Smith's soaring, haunting vocals over rambling spoken-word lyrics. Other contributors to the album include Pearl jam's Eddie Vedder, and Peaches, with the guitar work of Lenny Kaye on the trashy, silly glam rock-fest 'Alligator Aviator Autopilot Antimatter'. The overall feel of this album is one of hope, looking to the future and letting go of the past, evident in many of the lyrics. Opener 'Discoverer' sees Stipe hollering " lt was what it was, let's all get on with it, NOW!" whilst the sentimental 'Eels', reminiscent of' Every Day is Yours to Win' (like a hug, in song form, featuring the return of the mandolin ) contains the line " I cannot tell a lie, it's not all cherry pie, but it's all there waiting for you". R.E.M., despite having been going for some thirty years now, have plenty of life left in them


this album stands up tall and proud against the popular highly acclaimed efforts of the past, s.uch as Automatic for the People and Out of Time. Fast-rocker 'All the Best' features the line " Let's show the kids how to do it fine", and that says it all really. A lot of new bands could learn a thing or from them. James Sykes





Iss ue 254 15th Ma rch 20 11

CD REVIEWS )'Car~ after 'f'llc ,\/cc/1/C.< t of Tillle'~, it\ to be al.mlll'd when lri-,h punk Dropkick 1\lurphys say they ,m: making a concept ,dbum. I~ ut the concept behind c;oing Out in St)'lc, tel ling the -,torv of Cornl'liu~ Larkin and his life of\\'ar and hea\')' drinking, thankfully doe~n't tktr<lCt from ~ome of the fa nt astic songs on their latest album e\'e n if it isn 't full of them. The album opens in cl<~-,sic 1\luqlhy-, ~t)' lc as the rou-;ing 'Hang 'Em High' rolls in on ,1 pounding ,md into a brash guit,tr with plenty of bagp ipes, <ln im trumcnt th,tt dominates much of the album. Lyrically, the tr,tck is a -,trong b,t ttlc anthem and an easy 'ing along chorus will definitely pro\'c a Cro\\'d plcascr dt gigs in the future . "An honour,tblc de.tth for you would he too nice, I'd like to sa\'our the moment and kill you twice " is a flCrsonal f;_l\'OUrik aCrOS'> <lll of the Dropkick\ -,ong \niting. The title track is a part)' song ;\lurph)·\ style much like one of their he~,t -,ong, , '( F) lannigan\ ll ,t!l ', from their l,t-.t ,dbum. It lull-, you in with a -,oulful, wistful intro , whi ch i' repl.tced '>tHln enough with an .tcuJunt of friend s and drunken exploih that make )'OLI smile ,h you hl',lr them. Th e .dhum does h,l\l' nHJilll' nh ol IT\'erenCl' ,md scriou-,nes' but these ju\1 don 't ldU'e you to -,it up and t.tke note in







" I wanna sec you naaaaakcd ... " If )'ou'vc nevn had a feeble carnc~tly imp lore you to take off )'Our clothe-,, you might want to try ,1 trip to ll ava na\. Alt cr n;tt ivcly, pick up ,1 LOfl)' of Norm,ln Palm\ -,ophomore relca-,e, Shore to Shore and l'\jll'l'icncc thi-, bit.Hrl' flheJHllllCil<ln in the lOmfort of your own home. Sad ly, the extreme awkw<ndnc-,s of P<tlm\ ' rom.tntic ' crooning i.-, not restricted to second track, 'Smile-' - .1 l(nmu l,tic ;tnd borderline sinister ballad \1·hich negate~ any niT heat appeal the 1·est of the ,dhum might carry. u~ i ng a ble nd of acous ti c guitar'>, ukuleles .tnd chora l 'amp l e~ sw imming above ebbing -,ynth~ .md elect ronil hcab,

Pa lm creates .1 nonchalant aurale\'ocation of his hipster hometown, lkrlin. However, with a pipe of h i ~ reed)· voice, Palm destn1y~ a ny poss ibility of closing one's eye' and slipp ing int o a lo -11 Deutsc hc daydream. VVith ,1 crimin,d t,t,te for elongating syllab les, l le rr Palm g1\'CS Chri,tina Agui lera a run for her money in the warb li ng stake~, rendering lyric' unintelligible and listener-, winc ing. It 's a shame as Palm's musica l prowe'>s is u nden i.thlc when one considcn. the puls ing, brooding landscape of synths form ing the b.tckground of single ' Eas)". Quie tly euphoric yet re<h'>uring, it cou ld have proved a mac,tcrpicce of indic clcctro with addition of ~uit.tbk vocab . After gain1ng mu ch .1ttcntion b.tck in 2009 for his p.trcd down reworking of cight il'' hit'> 'Bovs Don't Cry ' .tnd 'Cirl' }u-,t \Vanna Have Fun', P.t lm ha-, clcarl)' honed his brand of DIY .unhil'nt flOp to a progrl·~~i\'c and intriguing -,tale. t\ curioth mix of the sublime and the· incomequential, Shore to .'l/1<m' give' ,1 t,ullali-,ing glimp-,e of what co ul d have been. The di . . appointment lie-, in rca li,ing ih 'tatu' ,1s a tour de force of C<bY li,tening elcctro hidden hene,lth weak voca l, and q ue,tionablc l yric i ~m . Nice try, No rma n, but no one will be getting naked for thi~ da ml1 sq uib of an a lbum. Emil y Pricha rd

If }'ou 're going to c.dl your band lkLorcan Drivers, you\-e got ,1 lot to lil'c up to. Indeed, the name brings the p romise of the kind of HR mph retro rock .md roll th.ll\ somewhere be tween the best moments of 'Sport•.' by llucy Lewi> and The 'ews and the looped ~ound of Dr. Emmctt Brown shouting "Crl',lt Scott " into a mcg.tpho ne, proces~cd th rough a 1\larshall st,tck . .. or m.l)'he's just this writn .. . t\n:-wa)·· !)L) ,1s \ 'n111e is 110\\ c.tlling them ,tren 't going to breaking the time h.nril·r ,tny time -,oon; thl·ir sl·lf titled debut ;tlhum ~l·ldom stop-, the ' l)el·doml·tn from going O\'Cr 50. A hit like th e Sci..,.,or Si,tcr-., but without the hooks and the high camp, DD\ synth driven pomp make' for .1 fine b.tckground li-,tcn, but it nl'\'er re.d ly takes off to sc,de thL' di11y height!-. that Anna 1\l,ttronic ,md co. reached on their debut. Tr.Jck-, like ' Dancing \\'ith 1\1y Si'>ter's Boyfriend ' ,tnd 'The C irl \\'ith The Fire in Her ! lamb' ma)' well lind

the ~ame w,l)' the t:•pe of songs you know .tnd IO\'l' the Dropkick :\lurphy~ for. 'Broken l lymns' i,-, a 'ombre ,1ccou nt of ,1 sold ier's loneline" and death out on the b.tttlefic ld . \\'hilc it i~ .1 tr;tgic,dly heartfe lt song lyric,d ly, and the mandolin adtb much needed varie ty, it ,imply doesn 't h.l\'e the appeal of -,ong~ like ··1:1ke 'F m Down' whi ch have th at l'Ssc nti al Dropkick ,\lurphy.., quality; you need to be able to -,ing along to them when )'Our half cut. If one thing C.lll be said for the album it's that it has held on to the Irish char m th at help, differentiate l)ropkick 1\lurphys from much of thl' other modern punk ,wailab le tod<~y. While m,t ny ct f.t n ~ will lovl' t\ 1 Harr for hi~ work as lead voc.dist, its T im l ~ r ennan , kiT Da l ~osa a nd Scruffy \Vall ace who m.tkc the :\lurphy-, ,und out with 'onw \'er:· skilful work on accordion,, mandolins ,llld h.tgpipl''· 'I hi .-, gi\'es the ,dbum some good depth but doe-,n 't quite m.1ke up for it mi.,.,ing 'tandout tracks older ,dbums h<l\c had. If \llu're .1 Dropkick ,\ lurph)·s :·nu \\'on't be dis,lflpointed.lf you w,mt to get into the b.tnd , you 'rl' hettn off he<Hin g them ,1t thei1· best on !he \\ 'llrrior~ Code. David i\1urphy

their W<l)' onto ch,tr t rad io in the nea r fut u re, bu t \\'hl'thcr or not they'll he -,ticking ,nound rema ins to he seen. The songs merge togct hn a' the album 11rogrc~'l' ~ and the record l,tcks the O\'Cral l cohl·,ion needed to m.tke it ,1 sy nth pop gem. It's so met im es too amb ient for ib own good , <tnd th,t t muddicncss is ulti mate~\- the disc's bigge-,t lbw.!)[) aren 't a r.King forw.ll'd .1t the speed of light, but co,tsting -,tl',tdily in third gl'<H. Like ,\ta rty ;\lcrly in ll11ck To Tile future , if D[) can 't 1-i nd a way to rcp.tir the tlux -capacitor of mu-,ical invention, they're prob,tbly going to get left be hind in the pa~t. Alcc Plowm a n


)att rd l\


* Celebrate the Summer with MTV - Mercy

\\'cdne..,d,l) 16th lkr p1e ~.:nt

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(half price entry with flyer before midnight) * Meltdown +Wraith - March Hare's Mad Hatter's Party! -The Waterfront - IOpm (£3.50-£4.40) I t 111 1 - LCR - !Opm (£4.50) * Roddy Woomble- Norwich Arts Centre 8pm (£12-£14)



- LCR* The Mariner's Children+ Coco's LoversNorwich Arts Centre- 8pm (£6)

Th lll''><.. ,n I - tl *

-Wi nters Bone- LT! - 7:30pm


(£2.80) I< - LCR- IOpm (£4.50 ll adv.) ~ St Patrick's Day Poppadaddys - Lola Lo IOpm (free entry on guestlist)



,, -





* Submotion Orchestra - Norwich Arts Centre- 8pm (£6)

I< 1 !1

* Machined rum presented by Spectro - orwich Arts Centre- 8pm (£6)

' nd LCR- !Opm (£10-£12)


-The Social Network- LTI -7:30pm * Red Nose Day at Lola Lo - Kissing Booth -

8pm (free en try before I Opm)

\\11 o I 1h '"o - LCR7:30pm (£23)

I ucs<..hl) 2.

1 t

I hur

. londc1y 21st


- LCR- !0:30pm (£3.50)

Matthew Bourne's Cinderella -Theatre Royal (showing until 26th) - 2:30pm/7:30pm daily (£6.50-£34) * The Screwtape Letters - The Playhouse 7:30pm (£9-£10)

Mercy (half price entry with fancy dress) " We're Going On A Bear Hunt- The



1 I H - LCR7:30pm (£4.50-£8 .50) - Red- LT I - 7:30pm (£2.80)



* 999 Emergency Services for Red Nose Day -

Playhouse- (£8.50-£ I 0)


- LCR?pm (£4 adv- ALL proceeds go to charity)

1--ridcl\ I Hth * Iu

orfolk Schools Project - Gianni Schicchi Theatre Royal - 2pm

Fnda *

,.. ' - Easy A- LTI -7:30pm (£2.80)

* Music@ One- UEA Chamber Choir- The Assembly House- 1pm (£4) * - LCR- 7:30pm (£5-£7.50)



* The annual student run KAOS Fashion Show on Sunday 20th of March. Beautiful clothes, amazing music, cakes, stalls and lots of topless men and skantly-clad women. Not only that, but every penny raised goes to charity! Need any more convincing? Venue certainly doesn't.

KAOS Fashion Show 2011 For those of you who love all things beautiful, the time has come to take your seats and warmly welcome one of the bigge t events on the UEA LCR calendar, the annual charity KAOS Fashion Show. Every year, KAOS organise and run this large scale event, and never fail to make it a success. KAOS, which stands for Kids Action Overseas, was originally created in the University of Leeds with one of its founding members joining the UEA and wishing to establish a ociety within our University. It has grown from a small group of Medical students calling the group MEDSI to being a fully-fledged UEA society, and the amazing organisation that is KAOS. KAOS seeks to raise awareness of global injustices, with particular focus on the inequalities in the health and education of children in under-privileged societies. The aim of this organization is to help develop sustainable community development projects, and do this by providing educational materials for schools,

basic healthcare supplies for rural medical clinics and water-pumps for communities, with the money rai ed. By organizing fundraisers such as the fashion show, KAOS can organize student-led projects which send individuals across the world to help change children's lives forever. One of the ways in which KAOS seek to raise thi money is with the annual UEA fashion show, held at the LCR. This event promises to be bigger and better than ever before, boasting over I 00 models - the vast majority of which being our very own UEA students - modelling a wide range of high street brands and local independent retailers including House of Fraser, Blue Jeans Co, Revolutionz and Re:Treat Vintage to name only a few, it is set to be a raging success. Amber Woodcock, Lead Model Coordinator said "Lot of students are involved in the show from all sorts of courses; from arts to politics, all years and backgrounds, even INTO students. Not only is this show for

charity, it also allows students from every kind of background to come together for a common cause': Not only will there be the fashion show itself, but there will also be a range of stalls and entertainment throughout the night including a samba funk band, authentic African dancing and belly dancers, cash prizes, a bar, and refreshments such as Matt Cakes and Taste of Punjab. Solely organized, choreographed and run by UEA student, and with one hundred percent of proceeds going to charity, it truly is a remarkable feat. This event will almost certainly sell out in advance as it did last year, with crowds exceeding lOOO and over £2000 raised. This year, KAOS are hoping to increase that figure in order to funds trips to Ghana, Kenya, Uganda and Tanzania. Tickets are on sale now from the Union Box Office or from any of the KAOS reps, so Venue hopes to see you all there!

Georgina Wade







Issue 254 15th March 2011 uk




1: Disorderly (6)

1: Messy nature (6)

4: Rik Mayall sitcom (6)

2:Recall (8)

g: Percussion instruments (7)

3: Gain knowledge (5)

10: Cancelled out (7)

s: Developed beyond (7)

11: Malevole nt, mythological being (5)

6: Bunch of feathers (4)

12 : Containing nothing (5)

7: First weekday (6)

14: To permi t (5)

8: Incomprehens ible; am azi ng (11)

1s: Mistake (5)

13: Illicit lover (8)

17: Slated wooden box (5)

14: US state (7)

18 : Hot tu b (7) 20: Very you ng infant (7)

15: Issue an injunction, vet o (6) 16: Inclined at an angle (6)

21: Scan di navia n country (6)

17: Int imid ated (5)

22: Wors hipped (6)

19: Alternative sp elling of 't sar' (4)


'I(> be in with,, chance of wi nn ing ticket'> to ~cc a D) 'et from the bigge~t L'lectro nic band about, Pendulum , ,\t th e I CR nn Thur-,day i\1,\rLh 31 ,t, jw.t ,\ ll'-1\'lT thi-, 'implc quc,tinn and brin g it to the Concrete oflicc h;· Frida1· i\ larlh 25th.


Pend ulum were founde d in : A. Londo n , UK B. Pert h , Australia C. New York, USA D. Syd ney, Aus t ralia

~ ~

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E- mail: 1\ lobik: 1 ong tim e punk rocker,, Th e Str,\ ngkr'>, wi ll be putting th eir , t,unp on th L· I.CI~ on ,\1ond.~y 1\ 1,\rch 2 ht. He,t known for their mk to heroin, Culdcn 13rull'll, you'd he a fool to m is-, seeing ~uch mu-,ical icon-,. 'I(> he in wit h a chance of winning,, pair of ticket-,, al l yo u hal'c to do i~ bring ;'Ou r cn mpkt n l crm,word to the ( 'onere le oflicc h1 .> l'lll on 1-J·id ,l)' ,\1,\rch I Kt h. N<lllle:

L-mail: 1\ lohik:





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V EOILINE 24th - 28th MARCH look out for an email from in your@uea inbox





The Union of UEA Students Officer Elections 2011: Meet the candidates Community and Student Rights - 1 post

ampaigning begins on Monday 21st March, so expect loads of leaflets and banners to start appearing around campus. As well as this snippet from each candidate you might want to check out the Candidate D~bate available on from Monday 21st March.


Online voting begins on Thursday 24th March. Look out for an email frorr. which will be sent to your UEA inbox 24 hours before voting opens.

Tim Miller

Becky Austin make more and more and

Voting will close on Tuesday 29th March. Results will be announced at 5.30pm in the Blue Bar on campus on Tuesday 29th. March then again later at the Union Awards. You're voting for the people who will run the Union for the year ahead. Choose wisely. There were no candidates for the roles ofWomens Officer, Ethnic Minorities Officer, Mature Students Officer and 1 Non-Portfolio Officer. The Union will hold a by-election for these roles after Easter. Nominations will open on Wednesday 30th March.

student activists/sacs is me, as is getting us green NG FEES AND CUTS

No photo submitted


Finance - 1 post Rob Bloomer

(Tim for Community with a capital 'C') Vote for me and I will stand up for you. You deserve an officer who will work closely with the university and community on important issues like housing, buses and sexual health. Vote for community with a capital

Cathy White

As communications officer I would make a positive change for students. Not only would a new era of everything we do, being done well begin, but your union would come to you more. Additionally, ueastudentcom would get better representation portal, and be customisable to your interests.

CATHY FOR COMMS. Do you want to be· heard? Want your ideas met? ~ant to change your SU? Vote for me! As comms officer I can't wait to shape the future of UUEAS with you and get more students inv.olved.

Matthew Myles

Danny Keillor

My policies range from buying a pub off-campus to putting a cash point in the village. We need big ambitions as well as effective, simple changes. My beard is a ginger beacon of hope ... follow it. Vote Matthew for Comms.

Our Union needs a Communications Officer who will increase the profile and accessibility of our Union. Vote for me and I will do this, and help us make this Union the best it can be. Please vote Keillor forComms

My name is Steffen Zuncke, a second year Politics and Economics student. This has enhanced -.--..... my knowledge of finmcial matters. I am enthusiastic and motivated and my goal is to ensure that educational spending cuts have no n~gative impact. www.facebook com/profile.php?id=599831356

I'm running for re-election to carry on developing clubs and societies. The Union's first strategic plan, which I helped write this year, has great steps forward for the Union, and I can drive us forward over the next year.



Nick O'Connell

Tom Harris

If you elect Vote for me me to this because I intend !position I . . . to help clubs and societies find j !,atm to create more opportuntties outside sponsorship- creating extra 'for YOU within YOUR union, and to funds for the clubs, and freeing ensure UEA has a strong. vibrant up Union funds for other projects 1sports and social scene which around the Union and UEA. Fighting: 1continues to grow. for sponsorship! I

LGBT - 1

Non-Portfolio - 4 r2osts

Communications - 1 f20St Myles Smith

· Steffen Zuncke

Tash Ross

Michael Whitmore I am a hardworking, passionate team player seeking to promote the best interests of UEA. I am easily approachable, friendly and would look to listen and act on the demands of a modern university.

Chris Hayward - (It's time your voice is heard!) Unhappy with Home Run? Want different products in Union Shops? LCR not as good as you want it to be? It's time to tackle these concerns and improve -communications throughout the University. Vote for me and make your voice heard!

Liam McCafferty Over the last year we have made a good start in laying the foundations of an effective campaign against unfair fees and unnecessary cuts. However, the fight is far from over. I students re-elect me I will endeavour to continue to campaign and build a stronger campaigning Union.

Hannah Dun lop If


f am committed to minimising the effect of University funding cuts on students. I will strive to deliver better information about the union, focussing particularly on students in NAM & INTO. Find 'Hannah for Nonportfolio' on Facebook.

Hayley Kearns

Duncan Smith I've represented students since my first year at UEA. Next year I want to work on better feedback, employability skills and better representation. Check out my manifesto - I hope you'll agree with what I'm saying. Vote Duncan Smith #1!

I'm very expe r ienced the and

run an active accou ensuring that all p u•uc11u felt heard and represented encouraging all students to mVIQIVE!a regardless of their sexuality.


_ _ __

Environment - 1 post

Academic - 1 f20St

Disabilities - 1


( Alexander Etches

Hannah Evans The Union should work for you. As Academic Officer, I believe I cou1d use my experience to make a real difference to the issues that concern students- timetables, the library and anything else that affects your experience at UEA. -


If elected I will bring something different to the Union, long term solutions to persistent problems and aggressive representation of students' interests. I promise new policies that will ensure students will always have the support of the Union. -


Roshan Walkerley

Kirsty Callaghan

My experience as a current part-time officer coupled with my ideas and enthusiasm for the role make me 'an ideal candidate! If elected, I will work hard to serve in the best interests of all UEA students. So here's a notionVote Roshan!

I believe that l think I have If I'm elected, I'll work hard to ,students the experience, improve the Academic experience of should the. enthusiasm all students. I'm currently the Chair and the ideas to make an effective vote for me of Union Council and believe that my because I promise to be a dedicated, Academic Officer. I have a proven record of representing students and approachable officer. I will strive for enthusiasm for helping students and achieving change and am passionate fairer funding, a union that is value experience within the Union would about improving the academic for money and continue to push the make me a good academic officer. 'hungry for feedback' campaign. experience of UEA students.

Kitty Espie

Megan Evans

Davison have experience to make a great contribution; co-ordinating a successful Friends of the Earth cycling campaign and Co-operative Group carbon reduction projects. I've actively participated in Green societies and strongly believe in the democratic organisation of our Union.


Higher education funding to be cut by 75%, tuition feees rocketing to £9000: all the "NUS can come up with is to impost another tax on graduates! I believe the NUS should fight fees & cuts to the last penny.

Liam McCafferty As someone who

has been involved in the union for: the last two years, most of that time campaigning against unfair fees and unnecessary cuts, I feel I have the experience needed to represent your views on a national level.

I will be the most accessible and approachable officer the union has, providing the opportunity for your voice to be heard, and helping you see the results. Together, we can make a difference. -

NUS Delegation - 4 posts Gabriel Polley


Megan Evans Hi, I'm Meg and I'm running to be a NUS delegate for the upcoming conference. I play an active role in the Union and would love to be elected as a delega~ to represent UEA students on a national level. I would work hard to make sure the Union's voice is heard.

Tash Ross I'd love the opportunity to represent UEA students on a national level. I've been involved in the student movement for over 2 years. Plus, I've never been to Newcastle, so that would be fun.

Jack Whaley


Myles Smith

I have represented students at the NUS annual conference previously, and would be proud to stand up again. To be strong, we need to have a strong national body. Lets ensure we vote for a stong delegaton, together we are stronger. '

- ('cos Newcastle sounds nice) UEA is an amazing place, we should send someone to the conference who can show the country just how great we are. l want to" represent UEA nationally, and Newcastle seems like it w.ould be nice.

Allanah Bayliss My focuses are the 100 Mile Challenge, to increase the fairtrade products available and to raise awareness of global campaigns. Whilst continuing the work of the previous officer and to assist other officers in their campaigns and priority campaigns.

We have it in us to grasp environmental issues as a Union but we need some serious confidence! I'm about addressing it directly with practical measures while making it clear why its so important we act.

James Cope land

No photo submitted

There is a belief that people with disabilities are less able. As Disabilities Officer, l want to show that is an incorrect view but also that support is available on campus for those who need it.



Ethical Issues - l post Duncan Smith

Luke Jenning-Hatt

Will Lacey

International - l

RON RON (Re-Open Nominations)

Samuel Kessington-

Okwuada with

Students should vote for me if they want an ethically conscious member of the ·student body to represent their views concerning all ethical issues in and around campus. Believe it or not, there are quite a few.

cuts and immigration cuts need someone experienced their voice heard.

If you think none of the candidates are suitable or deserve your vote, you can vote RON to request ~he elections be re-run at a later date allowing new candidates to be nominated.





lssul' 2:14

15th :\ larch 2011 n mcrl'll' .eo m pl'l it ions~liul'a .ac .u k





Disorderly (6) 4: Rik Mayall Sitcom (6) g: Percussion instruments (7)


nature (6) 2:Recall (8) 3: Gain knowledge (5) .J




LIIE 2t th - 21th MARCH 7 8 3 4 6 6 3 8 7 4 7 5 9 7 5 6 9 4 8 6 1 1 7 8 5 2 3 8 5 9 4

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The Union is a democratic crganisatlon and every year the students of UEA have a chance to elect people to the 17 student officer positions. These 17 positions lead the Union for one year, steering the Union into the future. They campaign for you. They fight for you. They are picked by you. Vote in the Union Elections for your candidate.

On 21st March Campaigning for the Union Elections begins! Be prepared for candidates to badger you around campus seeking your vote.

Voting Opens 24th March You should get an email from at least 24 Hours before the Voting opens. If this doesn't happen, please email union.communications@ and we will reset your email token so you can vote I

You're Union is always changing, continuously striving to provide a better experience for our members. Here's how: We want you to ... ., we're making. Whether it 's to our shops or services, officers or opportunities, we're changing to meet your needs. In order to do this, we want to make it easier for you to speak to us: if you've got a comment, suggestion, or bright idea, we want to know about it. The Union's here to he lp improve your time at UEA- and to get your voice heard- we want you to shape our campaigns and the issues we talk about. If you'd like to know more about the changes we' re making, check out

ueastudent .eo m

11 Questions for 2011 - what you said a nd what we're going to do! Details on the upcoming Union Elections

• <..>

c.c c (J

S..·\1«' 11::. Union

Eva luation Initiative


c un1on~ (_,




c. c..



2007 Students completed the Survey. The survey had a 91.4% completion rate, 11 .4 % higher than last year




The survey was close to being demographically representative (it reflects the mokeup of the student population) In total 32,912 questions were answered in this year's survey!

... reducing m y cost of living

We are running employability sessions Over half o f you said that Clubs & Societies, Entertainments and Shops were the most important services the Union provided.


... making my University experience more fun

We will continue to invest in our Shops so we sell the products you want. Our refit of the UFO fridges offers more fresh food, something asked for last year.





We will look at our use of social network and new media so students can get th e information in the way they want it.


70% of you said the Union has had a positive impact on your time at UEA. We hope that the changes outlined here will raise this to 80% next year.

Venue issue 254  
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