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Editor-in-Chief> Danny Collins I conuete.editor@uea.at.uk Venue Editor> Dun can Vicat-Brown I concrete.event@uea.ac.uk

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Fashion Editor> Kat Jones

Deputy Fashion Editor> Hannah Britt Fashion Contributors> Kat Jones, Honnoh Bntt, Eleonor Doyton

Arts Contnbutors> Robyn Comfort, Lrbby Ear land, Harriet Jones, Emmo Garrett

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Creative Writing Editor> Robert Van Egghen

Creative Writing Contributors> Adepoju Adetolo, Robert Van Egghen, Rory Gale, Joe Odron Doran, Jomes Sykes, Hazel Compton, J.R. Horris, Rochoel Lum I.!IU.I.I.u.!lil!l'il\~~~!I.!JJ.IIi.!..U:j~ I

Television Editor> lash a Golley

Televisron Contributors> Beth Wyott, Michoel Lovelock, Phil Turtle, Matthew Tidby, Amy Adorns, Helen Eaton ~~~'=~JJ.Iill.ld..!l.ll l Wired Editor> Voughn HigHheld Wired Contributors> DJ Turner Wrllram Moron Edword Powell, Knshna Raghvoni, Fiono Howord, Alick Burnett, Em mu Gorrett

I Music Editors> Aiec Plowmon & Alex THrossell MuSIC Contributors> Ant Frrth (lark, Ha no Locklier, frona Howord, Tom Duffy, Wrll Newton, Jordan Bright, Dun con Vicot-Browli, Alex Ross Harry Slater, Alee Plowmon, Dolly Smrth, Ellie Kumor, Jomie lewis

I Film Editor> Poul Martin Deputy Film Editor> (atherine Watts Frlm Contnbutors> Amy Griffrths, Tom Theedom, Josh Weothenll, Ann a Eosti<k, Gobriello Colosurdo, Alexander Hoines, Somontho Rogers Emily Bater Lorna Pontefract, Jomes Dockeroy, Tom Mdnnes, Tim Bates

I Comedy Editor> Fiono Howord Comedy Contributors> Tom Mdnnes, Alee Plowmon, Will Donovan

Listings Editor> Georgino Wade lishngs Contnbutors>Georgino Wade

I Competitions Editor> Henry Croft Competrtrons Contnbutors>Henry (roh

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2SOCT 1:JI ISSUE 246

FASHION concrete.fashion@uea.ac . uk

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For this issue, we provide you with a trans-seasonallowdown as we wave goodbye to the styles of summ er and greet th e n ew t rends of autumn . Deputy Editor Hannah Britt t each es us a thing or two about experimenting with texture, arid Fashion Editor Ka t Jones highlights t wo t o p-notch shops in the city with a Halloween inspired photoshoot.

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When this issue goes to print, it will almost be November, an appropriate month to ta lk about Christmas without being intensely infuriating (unlike Tesco, who announced its approach in July) . So, as th e Christmas season fast approaches, and clothing becomes ever more decadent, it is time to take the rough wi th the smooth and embrace the trend for te xture . In 1989, the legend that is Paula Abdul sang the words "Opposite s Attract", and do you know what? She was spot on. Well done Paula, always suc h a babe Sometimes if people (or te xtures) are totally different, they can actually work together and complement each other. And is it not true that it is often the person who disagrees with you most, who challenges you, and keeps you on your toes, that you fall for/ Disne y teaches us this from a youn g age; you cannot deny that opposites, John Smith and Pocahonta s, would ha ve good sex. There does seem to be an undertone of relationship ad vice creeping into this article. Who says fashion is one dimensional/ But back to clothes. For texture, es pecially during cold winter days, knitwear is a good place to start and to build from. The high street has a love affair with knits at the moment; cable, chunky, destroyed· you name it, you can buy it. Choose a piece you like, something with personality, and team it with an item that feels to the touch t ota ll y different. A thick woo ll en jumper with a leather skirt is bang on trend right now. Or, try velvet for an equally lu xurious feel.

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Take a walk with te xture and wear heavy boots, doe martens perhaps, with a f1oaty silk dress. Mi x something whimsical and threadbare with something tough: the contrast is interesting . For daywear, you don't have to drown yourself in feathers and fu r if you do not wish to . Basic block colours of texture, such as a simple black velvet top, are more interesting than block colours of plain cotton. Everyone does cotton. Yawn. Do something different. Wearing te xture is fun, but it is also a balancing act. Te xture often comes at the expense of fit, and also adds width to fabric. Therefore, when putting pieces together, team one loose garment with a more fitted item. Hint to your figure underneath . Don't make your size eight look like eightee n by swamping yourself top to bottom with fabric. Furthermore, not all t extures are good te xtures. Put that PVC down please . Are you a hoe/ Oh you are ... / Pick it back up then . Thi s may be the season of decadence, but texture need not be extravagant. You need not blow yo ur student loan on a gold plated, diamond stud ded, flamingo feathered jacket. A little texture can be added via some snazzy earrings. Top shop have a massive range offeather, leather and fur to choose from . So, fashionistas. Get your bum out of the basics section. Pl ay with texture . And turn your swag on. Hannah Britt

New De signer Guiseppe Zanotti forThakoon is creating a storm in Fashion. Part of the 2010 Autumn Collection

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EMBRACING IT OR EscAPING IT: YouR VIEWS oN THE SHEARLING J A ci<ET

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The thought of taking fash ion tips from "Del Boy" Trotter certainly did not conjure any appealing images in my mind, but looking through Topshop's A/W collection I spied many simi larities. However, thi s new trend seems to really work 1 I love the contrast of the dark leather with the fem inine fur arou nd the co ll ar, it rea ll y takes away the harshness of the leather and transforms the idea of the spring leather jacket into an exquisite winter coat . The aviator gilet adds another dimension to the trend, and works well with a range of colours and outfits. Thi s style seems to be the must-have for winter 2010, and very affordable on a student budget: just check out the highstreet for some great deals. Wi ll these aviator jackets become as popular as aviator sunglasses were in the summer/ I certain ly think so l

I loved the shearling jacket. Loved. Past t ense. When it first hit Vogue a couple of months ago it went straight to the top of my wish list. lt even overtook Louboutin 'Mary-Janes'. Now it is at the bottom, below even fake Ugg boots (at least 'fuggs' are restricted to chavs and are therefore in some way elite .. ). Sad ly, it has fa llen prey to the biggest fashion pitfall, it has been overdone. it's the Fa ll Out Boy of jackets: once so cool, now totally sold out to the masses. Lame. it's lost its swag. Every magazine, from high-end Tat/er to trashy Closer, screams "buy one"; it's ju st so "now", they say. I don't care, Tat/er, please shut up. Take a walk around town and you can guarantee that at least a dozen girls wi ll be wearing one. My fourteen year old sister has one. So have all her friends . Who want_s to wear the same thing as everyone else/ I might buy one now, lea ve it at the back of my wardrobe until the hype dies down, then take it out and consider it retro. For now though, I wou ldn't be seen dead in it. Hannah Britt

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Perfumery Sampling in Jarrolds Beauty Hall Saturdays in November nam - 3Pm Every Saturday in November and December there will be new fragrances for men and women for you to try. You'll have no prob lem buying your gifts once you've tried some of the exc lusive fragrances Jarrolds has to offer.

Season Saviou r For one last attempt to grip onto what's left of the summer sun, try Nivea Visage Tinted Daily Moisturising Creme (Natural). For £6 .79 for soml it w ill help keep your skin soft and supple in the blistering wind of autumn whilst maintaining a love ly golden glow.

. TLC for MEN Check out Neal's Remedies new Skincare range for men. Products include Revitalising Face Scrub £14 for 75g, Rejuvenating Eye gel £22 for wml and Calming Aftersha ve Balm £1430 for woml, which will mean no more bleary eyed appearances at morning lectures, 26 Lower Goat Lane, Norwich.


FASHION (I)

Breal< The Mould You may have spent many a Wednesday night drawn into the warm glow of The Birdcage, a quaint little dive in the Lanes, and found yourself being entertained by the words of new poets or live acoustic folk music whilst sipping a mammoth glass of Hoegaarden or, more daintily, some hot tea in a proper china cup and saucer. The Birdcage is part of the evergrowing creative and alternative culture in Norwich. If you fancy paying ÂŁ5 for a generically awful coffee in Starbucks/ Costa/Nero etc, or an equally overpriced pint in Wetherspoons then go right ahead, but sometimes it's nice to have a change, try something a little new, dip your toe in the water, and soon, you may even summon the courage to jump right in. The same goes for fashion, and so this week the clothes are from two unique shops that'll help you get those feet wet. Neither have mass reproductions of pieces, so there'll be no fear of wearing the same as the so+ people sitting next to you in the LT~ . Each shop has small collections of innovative designers, showcasing the distinct and desirable qualities that sometimes the high street chains can lose . Both are situated opposite The Birdcage, so once the purchases are made, a chillaxed evening waits to be enjoyed. We begin with Exile, a modest Oll'e floor boutique with spaced out rails, this g' is a shop brandishing quality not quantity, .._ and it does that just.

Pretty tea dresses adorned with large roses or intricate florals, and beautifully soft wool jumpers embellished with jewels cover the scope of daywear, and as night falls, be sure to seek out the ethereal lace waistcoats and delicately sheer blouses billowing with elegance. Accessories have not been forgotten as belts, hair pieces and jewellery are laid out on a dressing table, screaming to be bought. Take a wander to Exile, have a browse, be inspired, and I doubt you'll leave empty handed. Revolutionz attracts the young men of Norwich. Athletic but la id back, knows what he likes but is not afraid of the new, open to good music, good beer, good humour, good times: is this you? Yes? Great, then go and try this shop to get your dregs. With the first two months of university rolling away having not discovered the washing machine yet, this is the place to stock up on stuff a bit edgy and urban whilst still in-keeping with casual trends. Think jeans in stone and slate and long check shirts to layer over t-shirts with logos by graphic designers. Bright coloured clothes cootrast against subtler toned pieces, lendin~ a hand to picking up a well matched outfit. You can't go wrong. Choosing not to go, now that's wrong .

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Dressing as Jack Sparrow for Halloween. Overdone. Over it.

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Gol< Rocl<s So there I was at 8:3oam, poised with my nose up against the glass doors of Jarrolds. When the store opened at gam I found my position at the front, yes, the very front of the queue, instantly labelling me as 'desperate fan number one'- a title that I am proud to wear. Gok began the book signing at ~pm and so by the time he made his entrance, I had read the whole thing cover to cover. Dressed in a simple black tee, a grey cardy and those trade-mark specs, Gok was led through the crowds which had now formed throughout the shop floor. This was

it, bated breath, could I actually remember how to speak? He's looking at me and I have no idea what to say, say something. I thrust several copies of Concrete in his direction and managed to babble about being Fashion Editor. He gave me a good cheesy grin and said he would love to read the papers as he signed my book. My lovely mother who travelled all the way from Kent to see MrWan kindly snapped a picture of us together. Gok was every bit as charming as you'd expect, particularly when he complimented my outfit and touched my hand when I said I was moved by his life story. Battling with obesity and anorexia he clearly understands that how you feel inside is important before you can tackle the outside. By overcoming

these illnesses, we are lucky to have an endearingly passionate fashion advisor and 'BFF' to help lead us in a celebration of the body beautiful, be it dripping in fashion or decked out in the birthday suit.

What Were You Thinking!? Two new additions to the cast of Shameless?

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2SOCT1DI ISSUE 246

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Rambert, a national success and an innovative co ntemporary dance company, prominently took the stage at Norwich Theatre Royal Wednesday 13th October. Not just a wishy -washy love story entwined with pretty movements, or a complex and depressing depiction of life leaving you feeling dreary and bleak, the choreography aims to cha llenge, take risk s and entertain. Presenting three eclectic performances instead of one, as well as charming props rang ing from beaded curtains to the mechanics of a harpsichord, I left feeling inspired and impressed at the immense amount of hard work put into it , and how brilliantly it paid off. Hands held up for not being a dance fanatic, and having only taken a couple of bal let classes as a littl e kid (where the closest I came to dance moves were twinkle toes and witch toes), I arrived at the theatre w ith an open mind, unsure as to what to expect. The structure of the night followed thre e sepa rate pieces of dance, 'Th e Art of Touch', 'Awakenings' and 'Cardoon Club', all of which were entirely different from one another, painting a clear picture that to teach and to learn at the Rambert Dance Company, means there is no set agenda . You are free to be, and create whatever you like. 'The Art of Touch ', choreographed by Siobhan Davies, was originally inspired by list ening and look ing at t he mec hanics of a harpsichord . Her movements highlighted

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was glued to the bodies of the dancers/ and their remarkab le ski ll." dancers, and their remarkable ski ll . 'Awakenings', choreographed by Aletta Collins was based around Dr Oliver Sacks' experience in September 1966, visiting Beth Abraham Hospital (a home for people with chronic disease). A bizarre and shock in g scene, Dr Sacks was confronted by dozens of motionless patients, in odd postures, 'frozen' in mid-movement. Th e piece depicts the frustrations and manipulation of the patients condition in their everyday life, and the music (composed by Tobias Picker) creates a beautifu l, haunting exploration of these ideas alongside. Lastly 'Ca rdoon Club' 路 a playful and absurd performance, choreographed by Henrietta Horn, recreates 'Artichoke in the

silver lake' (performed for the Pin a Bausch Festival in Wuppertal) . W1th extended fingers, silhouettes, and jazzy riffs, the audience couldn't help but smi le and enjoy what's right in front of them . A brilliant way to end the show, Henrietta comments "As a chiiC: of the late sixties and seventies, this sort of music is fortunately part of my DNA."The mischievous and strange nature

of the dance was charming and it was clear everybody felt the same, as the dancers bowed, and the audience applauded endlessly. A wonderful evening, with a fusion of styles, inspirations and music. Rambert Dance School produced a show to be watched and enjoyed by all. Harriet Jones

creature made entire ly of pillows. "He has to be, because of his job" Katurian informs us. The Pill owman goes to people when the y are about to kill themselves and talks to them, slowing down time

a child to avoid the pain of their lives, in a tragic but ultimately affirming action . The New York Times critic may have been right, it does not have much to say about the darker aspects of humanity. Yet that was never the play 's intention.lt may be a brutal, dark play but paradoxically, its message is a much more positive and heart-warming thought about humanity, life and about stories. lt plays with the idea that suffenng is not to be regretted but treasured because of the storie s it lead s to, or the person it makes you become. Just because a play doesn't conclude that there is no hope for humanity does not mean it has nothing to say. Th is was a th oroug hl y engaging performance that will surely stay in the minds of the audience for a long time to come.

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and represented the re lati onship between the instrument and the player, creating distorted and strange shapes for the dancer'>, yet maintaining complete intrica cy in sync hroni zat ion with the consistent harpsichord played throughout the performance. With a simplistic set, and dark colou red cos tum es, the viewers attention was glued to the bodies of the

In a 2005 review in t he New York Times, critic Charles lsherwood claimed that whi lst Martin McDonagh's The Pi/lawman "is an ingeniously contrived b lack comedy, it ultimately has as much to tell us about the darker passages of experience it purports to dramatize as the haunted -house ride at Disneyland does." However, if the recent Norwich

performance of the play is anything to go by, this opinion does not do the play justice. There is something genuinely unforgettable about The Pi/lawman, especially when performed in the Norwich Playhouse 路 which seemed the perfect setting with its eerie brick walls and the autumn rain continuously tapping at the high ceiling windows. The intimate setting created the sense that the audience were gathered around a campfire to hear the stories of bizarrely named Katurian Katurian Katurian, the protagonist of the play. He is a writer being interrogated in a totalitarian state, when his plays are found to echo horrifically a series of recent child murders. Throughout the interrogation and hi s subsequent night imprisoned with his brother, the audience hears parts of the various stories Katurian has written. The story that gives the play its title is a beautiful and important one of a

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26DCT10 I SS UE 246

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PoETRY READING>WILLIAMS

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"Szirtes and Williams both had rich compelling voices with which to entertaini complimenting their powerful poetic words" Norwich Poetry Club hosts a monthly event presenting local poetic talent and high calibre visiting/local poets. The talent that graced The Bicycle Shop on Tuesday

was UEA's own lecturer George Szirtes and The Times literary columnist Hugo Williams . Both are winners of the T.S. Eliot Prize for Poetry and both performances were outstanding, reinforcing their literary prowess. it was more of an enlivened performance than a reading of poetry, the speakers' both had rich compelling voices, complimenting their powerful poetic words . George Szirtes started the night with a poem called Fish Music and disclosed some of the ways in which he works and creates his literature . As an artist, he works in collaboration with other visual artists, writing literature to accompany art and using artwork to inspire him . He described a piece of artwork, which consisted of a blacked -out postcard . The postcard had one object left in the light as if it had been the one thing chosen to be saved from the artist's blacking out pen. it was just as poetic as a story, and the accompanying poems even more impressive . Hugo Williams is from a theatrical background, and this came across strongly

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as he read out poetry and compelled his audience with anecdotes to accompany his poems. His poems were both heartbreaking and funny; particularly amusing were his stories from his time at Eton, from which the poem A Collection of Literature arose (the collection of literature in question being soft pornographic magazines which entertained the schoolboy Williams) . If you love poetry and want a warm cosy

room to go listen to it in, then this reviewer would definitely recommend heading on ;:r down to Norwich Poetry Club at the Bicycle ...J Shop, the next event is 16th November LL with Nathan Filer and Ross Sutherland.

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A recent prod uction of Duffy's Grim m Ta les at The Library in Manchester

On October 17th of 18th after four months of preparation and two solid weeks of rehearsals, the curtain was finally lifted: directors Emma Clarke and Olive Merrill put on a charity performance of Carol Ann Duffy's adaptation of Grimm Tales at Norwich's very own Puppet Theatre . The show was composed of six tales in two acts: Hansel and Gretel, The Golden Goose, Ashputtel (more commonly known as Cinderella), The Riddling Tale, The Mouse, the Bird and the Sausage and The Lady and the Lion . The second act in particular had the audience laughing until their sides hurt, and, all in all, it was a wonderful example of a modern take on traditional metatheatre . Whilst getting the six very talented actors, or 'story tellers' to merge the tales with the 'inbetween tales' on stage, the directors' aim was to experiment with the

visual aspects : costumes, for example, were innovatively re-used and worn differently (a shawl became a dress or the boughs of a tree) as the actors changed roles . Props, too, were handled by the actors in a way which made it easy for the audience to imagine they were what the stories required them to be, for example the 'bird' in The Mouse, the Bird and the Sausage was represented through the opening and closing (and pigeon noises) of a patterned parasol and its holder. Also worth mentioning is the way in which those on stage involved their audience : they ran up and down the central staircase of the theatre, and randomly picked audience members to join them on stage . This audience interaction enhanced the production, for example, for the family and friends scene, the stage would have felt empty without the audience members joining the actors. The production was funded by the Golsoncott Foundation, which paid for copyrights and the hiring of the theatre as well; producer Helena Murphy's job was to contact charities, put up posters, distribute postcards and leaflets and collect the generous prizes that made up the raffle (which will be drawn this week) . The profit gained from the raffle and whole production will go to Assist Trust Norwich, which helps over 100 people with learning difficulties to gain confidence and work towards greater independence.

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The Crane Fly

A Hundred Times and Then Many More

A lonely autumn night, Gallons of ale in the be lly, Clouds of smoke in the gut, Befuddled and caressing despair, I see Mariana.

Since I was young, I have always hated Crane fl ies. In the days of prep school boarding An innocent one fe ll vict im t o our prepubescent boredom: Off its legs and wings cam e as a dare And we left it lying lim bless, there.

Sa intly in white dress Divine in ashen leggings, Dreami ly I beheld her Nubian roots Her puerile smile, fresh sanity Then I was transposed.

I've always been against th e unnecessary killings of bugs: I want to help the world, not destroy it. But Crane flies have always remained an exception: it is their ugliness that I detest most.

There's a t housan d homes torn and gone And a thousa nd more of people drowned There's a child ha lf dead and holding on Engulfed by floods, and too weak to sound Out to hi s parents, w ho watch in woe As the ir chi ld is taken, swept and lost Down the market street they used to know The price is paid; a human cost

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A decade later I awake, Masc ulin e in form Ge ntle in m ien Thousands of guests applauding as I kissed her so tenderly The n I behe ld my mater, approve of my lover

However on a recent camping trip, one flew into the bogs of t he boys and played havoc wi t h my aim as I point ed t owards th e porcelain. !let it be as I was too drunk t o care, But the morning after, when I came to wash my hands, I saw that someone had drowned it in the sinks And waited and watched while it died. I cried for that Crane fl y.

That must be Tim barking No ' Reality visits and fi nd s me fo ndlin g t he ru g ofthe Mary's Bar.

I cried for t hat Crane fly. RoryGale

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Morning

But cast your eye some miles away And you'll find a land of rubble and strife Quakes of earth and damage that remains today Image and wo rd of crumb led homes and loss of life And th e lines of sheets; pale and mil d That ext end ed end less, like paths not t ravelled And beneath each lay a father, mother, or child Threads cut away; unstitched; unravelled And forget not now that irksome war Of liberty and freedom that we endless fight Against a foe part wrong, but t errified more Of a drum t hat beats t hroug h day and ni ght But as id e ca st co ntrove rsial t houg ht And think on boys wit h chests asunder Orphaned girls now poverty fraught And old men that fear the bombs like thunder The pictures of these, you all have seen A hundred times and then many more Each sparks th at response; that feel ing unclean Th at mome nt of pity; dej ect ed and so re But it's just a fee lin g; th is weary dismay That brings forth sympathy and then despair A glancing blow t hat is brushed away As thoughts move on and drift elsewhere

hangs above 0 sheets twisted UJ a: around tan gled limbs, su nlight burstin g )f throug h t he ha lf-open window as a curtain rocks in the morning breeze while rea lity moulds > r- gently int o dreams

Yet on occasion, you still feel that sting Of despondent guilt as you meet pictures anew But of th ese cri mes, I wi ll do not a t hing And in truth, neith er w ill you .

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There were so many irrep laceable things in this world for Carrie . The scent of the grass and she crushed her 3 fingers into the soil, the feel of the wind's sylph-like fingers as it tousled and pushed the fraying ends of her ~ lusty hair upwards, the sound of the plastic beads she wore around her neck click and chatter as they bumped r int o one another and created her own t heme tune as <( w she wa lked. They were images of her freedom , her a: youth. But the balloon was not one of these ... yet she U couldn't let it go. She let her fingers curl into the baneful ribbon that hung, unassuming and flat, down and away from the (I) encumbering red of the rubber air pocket, thinking of r- how, even though she told herse lf she didn't care upon a: this myst ery of huma n creat ion, she st ill carefu ll y carried <( it from t he rob in blue door of th e shed, st ill cra dl ed it away from any threat. She kept it hidden at the bottom of her garden, secret and safe, on ly for her to enjoy. z Yet, she didn't enjoy it; it brought no happiness to her 0 eyes, only regret. The balloon wobbled on its string as the wind lightly pressed to it, its body caressing down I (I) the rubber and twirling round the string like a kitten. <( Her fing ers were securely w rapped in the string of the u.. ba ll oo n but Carrie didn't not ice th e w in d's foo lery, t oo busy in thin kin g upon the past .

The summer just been and she was at a carniva l, holding his smooth hand and wat ching the crowd in front of her slowly diminish as they got closer to the front to ride upon the Ferris wheel. She had held her breath with a pregnant pause as the tired worker cli pped the gate behind them and they were enclosed in their own lit t le compartment. it swu ng w ith its ow n impatient energ y, wa nt ing to cli mb th e sp ide'rwe b li ke circ le, wanting t o view the expanse around. Carrie had pressed her hand deeper into the palm of his, feeling and remembering the fl eshy response of his skin, welcoming and full of soothing memories upon her fingers. He smiled to her, just as comfortable as her in their container, their womb that was slowly raising them to the top of the world ....

The Way Love Moves You find yourse lf in love A terrible love, unwanted and unreciprocated, Head over heels crawling like a deprived Unloved addict in a cold alleyway. But time passes, a day, a week, And soon , you are not in love, And you never have been.

To be continued next issue ....

Next Issue ifheme for the next issue: 'Air' Email your submissions to:

These fee lin gs, j ust feel ings, grow and grow, And like a terrib le storm Cast themselves away in a sudden fury. You are left bereft once more, Free, a blank slatePatron of a grot esque fairground ride, Ready for the next go round.

concrete .creativewriting@uea.ac.uk James Sykes

by 3rd November


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Hello dull old pain. You are always there when I awake, That same old thud to remind me that everything's still the same. On good days, you are almost pleasant, pumping blood, the warm elixir of life to the far corners of my toes that then tingle with delight. And then the blood bloats my body with a warm sense of contentment oozing up into my lungs, Giggling with adoration, so that my shoulders shudder with the joke . My eyes could almost water. And my breath, quickens. And with a rush sense of euphoric glee that lightens my head I can almost see a reason.

I have a feeling that behind that door, There is something I've not known before. Do I turn the key? Or do I walk

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The mind can give the best excuses for the heart. But then, the warm unbalanced harmony slows into a slow cruel drain. And the round red bubble swelters to the tips of my rib cage, grinding and gouging as my heart screams with pain as its layers are torn off. And then the slow drip of poison tar trickles down my throat . Residing in the quagmire of my stomach And the gracious gag is welcome to numb the pain, if only for a second. My eyes could almost water. And you are there again, exhausted from the drain. That dull thud, my dull thud, that won't ever go away.

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260CT1D I ISSUE 246 ------

TELEVISION REALITY: THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX

PRIMETIME: THE APPRENTICE

~ BBC ONE, WEDNESDAY 9PM

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Perhaps when The Apprentice first aired in 2005, viewers genuinely thought of it _j as a simp le search to discover Britain's best businessman/woman . But over the years, The Apprentice has developed into so mething entire ly different - a comedy > delight which attempts to find out which ~ egotistical non-entity is the most diabolical ~ whilst icing cupcakes/creating rubbish 0 sa usa ge s/se lling anything at al l. U The Apprentice has had it all - office romances, bitching, t he 'Pants Man' and rid icu lous team names such as 'Renaissance' and 'A lpha'. This year's team names were 2 _j confirmed as the interesting 'Apollo' and the lL blatant-attempt-to-sound-c lever 'Syne rg y', but no such explanation is required for the contestants - they speak for themselves. Alex Epstein says he practically invented u the bendy bus and Stuart 'The Brand' Baggs proud ly announced in the first episode that ~ "everything [he touches] turns to sold"- the :I: hilarity ofthis ensu ing when his team lost the sausage task. Must have just been a minor 1--

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blip in your usual excellence then, Stuart? The other 'interesting' character in the first episode was Dan Harris, who has a talent for shouting, but not much else. Team leader Dan barked at his team for not working hard enough- whilst he stood there and did nothing but ... shout. Not surp ri singly Dan was the first contestant to hear the famou s "You're fired'" If you thought the boys were bad, then just wait for the girls. Joanna showed her true colours during the second task by insisting that her book-stand idea was implemented. When her innovati ve beach produ ct fai led to gain a single buyer, the boardroom then descended into an all-out catfight - w ith Karren Brady reprimanding the girls for being horrendous role models. Stay tuned to The Apprentice, for there will be more egos, more screw-ups and more hilarity - not to mention the fact that the tasks get easier.

The Only Way Is Essex is awful. A The Hillsstyle reality soap relocated to the perma-tan ridden nail salons and nightclubs of England's most infamous county; a shambolic co lli sion of st yles- shot half like a documentary, ha lf like a cheap drama, with awkward, evidently semi-scripted dialogue and eve n a voice over courtesy of Essex royalty, Denise Van Outen. The Only Way Is Essex is so awfu l, it's amazing - guilty pleasure television at its most trashy and indulgent. The show follows the lives and loves of a group of colourful real-life friends and fre nemies. There's bikini waxer Amy, who dreams of becoming a glamour model, and her on/off boyfriend, the hap less Kirk, w hose idea of a romantic date is a trip to the zoo; up and coming girl band ' Lola ' who are on the verge of landing a deal with Universal records; and a messy love triangle. lt has been over twenty years since the terms 'Essex Boy' and 'Essex Girl' entered our co lloquial vernacu la r, and The Only Way Is Essex does little to challenge such pejorative

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stereotypes of the region's inhabitants. Hilarious though the drama-filled antics are, the ladies form a homogenous sea of orange skin, Rapunzel-esque hair extensions and sky-high sti lettos, whi lst the men cruise around in flash motors and seem to view women as just another conquest to validate their well groomed and eyebrow-plucked vision of mascul inity. That said, there is real warmth in some of the relationships that we see, whether it's best friend s Amy and Sa m plotting their next man-hunt over a vajazzle (don't know what that is' Watch to find out), or Mark and Nanny Pat, who still does his ironing and pops round to bring him some home-baked bread pudding. If the only way is indeed Essex then God help us all, but for ha lf an hour of escapistTV every once in a while, Essex is the only way to go.

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260CT10 ISSUE 246

TELEVISION

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the situations they find themselves in are just so recognizable. The show works as we are able to empathise with their situation, and are desperate for them to succeed. The creation of a prequel, Rock and Chips, just serves to demonstrate the continued interest in John Sullivan's expertly created characters . Unlike many of its newer comedy rivals, one can just switch on any episode and be entertained . Add in the fact that it's a show that can be watched happily by any member of the family and it makes for a great watch at Christmas time ! Ultimately, it has to be considered a comedy classic.

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it's a simple premise, one which has been used to varying degrees of success in sitcoms many times before : Two parents, three kids, and the constant struggle to maintain parental control. What makes Outnumbered stand out from the rest is a combination of fantastic writing , hilarious improvisation, and superb acting from all involved. lt seems much of this can be attributed to the relaxed nature of the show's filming. Writers Guy Jenkin and Andy Hamilton provide a loose script for the adults and children, but they are encouraged to improvise and only learn their parts 'a bit'

It is no overestimation to call Gavin and Stacey one of the best sitcoms of the last decade. Overthree series and a glorious Christmas special, moving from BBC3 to BBC1 prime time in the process, this 'rom-com' followed the love story of salt-of-the-earth Essex lad Gavin (Mathew Horne) and his wacky Welsh muse Stacey (Joanna Page), as their families and friends, particularly Nessa (Ruth Jones) and Smithy (James Corden), become hilariously intertwined down the length of the M4. Intelligently and lovingly written by stars Corden and Jones, the programme successfully toes the line between comedy and drama, weaving hilarious situations and sentiments around the ongoing thread of serious drama. The show is very much character-driven; much of the comedy is derived from knowing the characters and recognising their traits and eccentricities

and, as a result, when the drama comes to the fore, we care about their wellbeing . Critics have blamed it for setting a precedent for a new generation of less edgy, character-driven, joke-deprived sitcoms, such as the wonderful Rev, the underwhe lming Him and Her and the questionable Roger and Val 1-{ave Just Got In, but in reality, this se ries simply set the (new) bar so high that others may struggle to rise to it. A fantastic ensemb le cast bring the characters to life believably and engagingly, and Rob Brydon's turn as the sexual lyambiguous, sat-nav friendly Uncle Bryn is a joy to behold . The BBC has said there won't be another series, but the vague allusion to future specials is enough reason to get into this show now. If you are yet to see Gavin and Stacey, start at the beginning and fall in love.

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I THE ROYLE FAMILY to make conversations and reactions more spontaneous - in the cast interview with Jonathan Ross, Daniel Roche (aged 10) admitted that if he forgets lines, he often makes them up, a practice which makes the stunned reactions of the parents (played by Claire Skinner and Hugh Dennis) all the more authentic. This relaxed atmosphere not only makes the family more believable, but also allows the unrivalled comic genius of a child's imagination to take precedence . The re is no better evidence of this than Ramona Marquez (aged g) winning Best Female Comedy Newcomer in the Brit Comedy Awards of 2009 lt is for these reasons t hat it seems certain that Outnumbered will be remembered as a classic comedy in years to come . While some jokes may baffle future viewers ("He changed my Face book status to 'Ben died last Tuesday' and I didn't!") the simp le and genuine comedy of an ordinary family will remain universal. AmyAdams

Set in the Manchester area, following the somewhat mundane lives of a typical British family, The Royle Family can easily be considered the yardstick against which to gauge the fu t ure of British comedy. While the premise for the series seems somewhat uninteresting and maybe even lacking ingenuity, it is precisely this that makes The Royle Family work. lt is the simplicity of the narrative (or the complete lack of one), the mostly stationary camera and the vulgarity of the characters that makes the programme iconic. The genius of The Royle Family undoubtedly stems from the w riting of

Caroline Aherne and Craig Cash who play Denise and Dave Best in the show. While the script for the show may not come across as anything special, it is this which makes it so. The awkward silences, the repetitive conversation and the sheer bone -idle nature of the characters make the atmosphere entirely realistic. In places where the show 'pauses for dramatic tension', the silence is conveniently filled by muted droning from the television, the staple of any British home. There can be little doubt that the portrait of The Royle Family is one which the audience can relate to in some way. The series displays the picture of British home life, there are no frills or gimmicks; it is inspired casting and simple writing that rightfully places The Royle Family as a classic British comedy.

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3D technology has a lot going for it at the moment. In the last year cinemas have seen massive films including Toy Story 3, lL A/ice in Wonderland and Avatar (the high est grossing film of all time) all pre sente d in ful l 3D, and 2011 is set to continue the u trend w ith an unprecedented amount of 3D film rel eases. Oh, and then th ere is the ~ possibility of seeing the Star Wars saga 2 in full 3D format ... Moviegoers enjoy the 3D experience , and w ith Panasonic and Samsung offering 3D capab le TV sets to exte nd th e experience to the home, it 0 see m s logi ca l that the next big t hi ng shou ld w a: be 3D gaming. So w hat does this mean for video games? 3 Back in 2009, the public were teased with 3D gamep lay footage of PS3 exclusives Wipeout HO and Gran Turismo 5 > Prologue, and recent upd ates that prepared r- the conso le for stereoscopic 3D gam ing and movie watc hin g now mean that if you 2

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are lu cky (or well off) enough t o own a 3D com patibl e TV, you can immerse yourse lf in the 3D gaming experience. Alth ough this is cu rrently limited to a few titles, it is an interesting - and perhaps necessary advancement in video gaming technology. While Microsoft's Aaron Greenberg tells us that "as consumer interest for 3D grows, we'll grow with it," Sony are diving headfirst into the 3D market with a tantalising array of 3D exc lusives. The list includes Ki/lzone 3, The Sly Collection (a HD remake of the PS2 Sly Raccoon games) and Gran Turismo 5, Sony Computer Entertainment's downloadable titles Hustle Kings and Motorstorm 3D Rift, Ridge Racer 7 3D and - wait for it .. . - 3D re releases of Ieo and Shadow of the Colossus . With at least fifty percent of these titles being Playstation Move compatible, it may seem that Sony finally has some bite to its bark. If Sony are currently dominating the home console 3D market (and it is certainly looking this way), you may be wondering what is in store for the handheld - or portable - market. Since the Nintendo DSi launc hed back in early 2009, Nintendo ha ve been accused of churning out remarkably simi lar 'new' hand held conso les. Until now these accusations have held a lot of truth (DS, DS Lite, DSi, DSi XL ... ), but with the announcement of the Nintendo 3DS at the Nintendo E3 conference earlier this year, it seem s that the family gaming giants are final ly giving us someth ing new to play with. The 3DS uses a specia l process known

as autostereoscopy, which produces the effects of 3D without the req uirement for glasses, and wi ll be ava il ab le in the UK next March. The pocket 3D device wi ll be fully compat ible with all existing DS games and product s, though the excit ing part is, we ll, th e 3D . As with al l current Nintendo conso les, th e 3DS wi ll be supported by a wide range of family titles that w ill undoubted ly appeal across the generations within your household (Animal Crossing, Pacman and Galaga and. .. Professor Layton VS Ace Attorney.?), though the big draw for many wil l be the chance to play classic updates of games, such as The Legend of Ze lda: Ocarina ofTime JO and Metal Gear Solid J: Snake Eater ]0. lt is a nove l idea, and one that could help Nintendo out in a big way (just don't mention the Virtual Boy .. .). You may think that Sony are jumping the gun, or that Nintendo are placing al l

th eir eggs in one basket (is th e Wii doing much lately?), but when it comes down to advancing the video game experience you could pose th e question 'what othe r route is there?' All three major home conso les offer motion sensitivity (with Kinect mak in g a late appearance next month), and until the power of virtu al rea lity is harne ssed , 3D gaming seems to be the rational step forward Audiences are constant ly looking for new ways to engage and interact with vid eo games, and the PS3 and 3DS w ill hopefu lly be able to spark an interesting transit ion to a bigger and better future of gaming. Th e hardwa re looks good, t he softw are looks great, and, as always, there w ill be one console that does it better than the rest. Will you be seeing double?

we ll as massive fire fights that see you and your small tea ms he roically engage far larger enemy forces. TI 11Sis nothing new, but there are a couple of aspects to MoH that make it a little different to its competitors. Firstly, there are lots of dramatic set pieces, and it's cle ar that every area has been well thought out and made into an env ironment that seems real, and w hil st they all appear vaguely similar there are certain ly a good variety of enemies, he lping to give the impression thatthe ga·me isn'tjust churning out dozens of clones for players to battle. lt certainly isn't JUSt about shooting, though. The things your 'Tier 1 operators' get up to range from being inside a battle damaged Chi nook as it falls from the sky to dri ving fast across the Afghan landscape on ATV's to co-piloting an Apache he li copt er. Furthermore, your fellow operators are far from anonymous, always playing important parts in missions. Th e second part of this game, making it different to other modern warfare contenders, is the exte nt of realism. The gruff, efficient dialogue is often peppered

with su ita ble acronyms and abbreviations : HVT, BDA, CAS and so on. Understanding them all isn't vital; lucky, since none of them are translated. However, it's clear the deve lopers were trying to cater to fans of military simu lation games whilst also making gameplay accessib le to casual gamers. This nod to military simu lation can be seen further in the incorporation of leaning, re ali stic ammunition management and accurate weapons hand ling - some weapons even have a fire selector. Some would say such features are unnecessary and need only be available in the most hardcore of military games, however these added touches are not onl y tactically usefu l, but really add t o the immersion of th e game. This level of minute detail is lacking in FPS games today and MoH has really gone the extra mile in creating a realistic experience. Unfortunately, this level of quality has a cost. lt wi ll take most players o nl y around five hours to comp lete - probab ly less. Th is is not unusua l in recent games; Modern Warfare 2 and Bad Company 2 being prime examples . In years past,

gamers would have been incredulous to hear that £50 games cou ld be as short as four hours long. There is a multiplayer element to MoH too, and that does stand to add some value to the game. lt isn't anything new, though. If anything , it's a refined version Bad Company 2's mu ltipl ayer. Medal of Honor is a good game, better even than its main competitors, but it's just too short to justify a £SO RRP, and was somewhat buggy at launch, making it only just above the average.

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is a first person shooter set on a modern battlefield, and it's certain ly decent. What is immediately clear is that its developers haven't got it wrong. The premise is that 9/11 has just happened, and players take on the role of US SOCOM forces initiating the invasion of Afghanistan. it's a good mix of action and sneaking that's reminiscent of Call of Duty 4- There's plenty of avoiding sentries, taking out mu ltiple enem ies simultaneously with your buddy, suppressed weapons and night vision, as

William M oran

-· Innovative and fun gamep lay. -Level of realistic detai l not seen in modern FPS's.

-Multipla ye r offers nothing new. -Campa ign is too short for th e cost of th e game.


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2S O C T10 ISS U E 246

13 (J)

(INTERNET)

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Fun links to pass the time between socialising and learning. Walyou A fun an interesting gadget blog, digging up those kind-of-useful-but-what-the-hell ideas like a TV remote with pager so it's never lost. http://www.walyou.com Turntube List Mix youtube videos together' Mix ranting on youtube with dramatic instrumental backing tracks; it's just like making your own rap songs. http://www.turntubelist.com/ Samorost Beautifully designed point and click adventure game, it can be frustrating clicking on everything, but working it out is really rewarding. http://www.amanita-design.net/samorost-1/ The Mike Wall ace Interview A really interesting archive of interviews with public figures from the 1950s, ranging from Aldous Huxley, to Salvador Dali to Kirk Douglas. http://tinyurl.com/37kfgdf Edward Powell

Rewind back to late 2003 when most of you were experiencing the early days of high school. You were overjoyed when broad band became commercially viable, allowing you to instantly message your friends whilst your mum was on the phone, completely unaware of the social networking phenomenon that was about to hit the World Wide Web. Because stateside, Mark Zuckerberg, eofounder of Facebook, had just begun his sophomore year at Harvard . Zuckerburg had just released Facemash, a website which allowed users to rate the attractiveness of photos voluntarily uploaded. Within three months, Facebook was created as a social networking site for Harvard students, and had managed to register over half of all undergraduates. By September 2005 there was a high school version, and a year later Face book was open to anyone aged over 13 with a valid email address. Today, there are over soo million active Facebook users, with so% of them logging in daily. Gone are the days when social networking was just for communicating with old friends; Face book allows you to give everyone updates of your drab life, and lets people see those god-awful photos from yesterday's drunken night out. Lets not even get started on the secret stalking of exes 1 Whilst previous social networks such as his, bebo and even the notorious MySpace fizzled out, Face book is continuing to expand exponentially with over 8oo,ooo new users everyday. Access to such a huge audience means that it's impossible to find a page

without adverts running down the side. it's not just corporations that have access to a large audience, but also six degrees of separation style groups where thoughtful people can get hundreds of thousands of people to join a group to help find a lost love, belonging or even a friend . Yet the notion ofFace book isn't as perfect as it seems. The sheer magnitude, and the fact that everyone wants to join in on the phenomenon, means they can get away with

shoddy privacy issues and unfavourable endof-term user agreements. There was a huge backlash when Facebook first introduced the news feed feature, displeasing users by publicising all their Facebook activities. More recently, in December 2009, Facebook removed privacy controls, thus deeming it impossible for users to control what was displayed on their walls and consequently on the public news feed . This allowed people to post things targeting certain groups, or even

Some of the best, most interesting or just downright funny people tweeting right now! @DitaVonTeese - everybody's favourite burlesque star tweets an insight into her fabulous life . With twitpics of her baking adventures and obsession with Cointreau, this is the injection of glamour your life needs. @TFLN -'texts from last night' is the prefect procrastination website. However, if you don't want to spend hours wasting away on the actual website, their twitter offers the cream of the crop. @GraduateFog - This is one of the more serious tweeters you should be following, offering some excellent insights into your rights as a university graduate. @arjunbasu - Arjun Basu creates 140 character stories much in the vein of www. fiftywordstories.com. All are beautiful insights into humanity. Fiona Howard

abusing others via Facebook. ~ Another huge issue with privacy came about with the rise of Facebook applications, 1-many of which are allowed considerable IJJ access to your profile and details. Without __1 allowing them access one couldn't run the application, thus many users press the allow button without giving a second thought to the distribution of their private information . > 0 Lesser known problems include the inability w to voluntarily terminate accounts, and ::! discrimination to those with unusual names or those being homeschooled are unable to create accounts. Facebook is also deemed to have a negative impact upon education, with ~ students spending a considerable amount __~ of time on the site. A recent study showed u_ that 68% of students who use Facebook had lower grades than those who do not. Cyber-slacking is also a huge issue with employers and some reports stating that it U 'costs companies several billion dollars in lost 00 productivity when their personnel get caught :::J on Facebook instead of working.' ::! Facebook is the world's 2nd most visited website, behind only Google. There is no doubt that Face book will continue to expand but, as Stan Lee once said, 'With great power comes great responsibility'. When Google a: introduced Google Street View, many people 3 were unimpressed by Google's invasion of privacy, and with new features such as Facebook being able to collectively tag people in your pictures; it is only a matter of > time before their amnesty runs out. 1-Krishna Raghvani

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Dropbox The premise is simple: you need to access files on more than one device, so store them on line. No worries of losing your USB stick, or discovering that your email is refusing to work . In fact, there is something so simple about Dropbox that it begs the question, "why isn't everyone using it?" it's not a case oftoo good to be true- it's just a brilliant tool that hasn't yet blossomed into the public eye. Practical and with no frills, Dropbox isn't exactly exciting but it is certainly worth telling all your friends about.

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Tired of iTunes being slow and fat? Only want to manage your iPod? SharePod is a lightweight, free alternative. it's small and can run from a flash drive on any computer, without installihg anything. The most attractive feature is the ability to copy music from an iPod to a Computer. This is helpful for music from Apple, since purchases can only be downloaded once. SharePod can add/remove playlists and songs with a simple, customisable interface, and manage iPod Touches or iPhones.

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is growing exponentially and could become a global phenomenon. Before long, Mark is the world's youngest bill ionaire. Unfortunately, he faces two separate lawsuits for his past mistakes. Th e plot is revealed in the form of f1ashbacks, which keeps t hings fresh. However, a f1a w in the film's style is that the rapid transitions between court cases are quite hard to fol low. The director was David Fincher, w ho also worked on Fight Club. However, the tone of The Social Network is less gritty than most of his other films. The film has a lot of dialogue and little action but what it lacks in suspenseful scenes it makes

l!l' •••••••• • • • • . • •• • • • • Z As the film's tag lin e says t- "You don't get to soo million (I) friends without mak ing a _j few enemies". The Social Network depicts t he birth of popular socia l networking site Facebook. Based on a > true story, Mark Zuckerberg, ~ played by Jesse Eisenberg ::! (Zombie/and) and his best 0 friend Eduardo Saverin U (Andrew Garfie ld ) eo-found a webs ite wh ich condenses the social experience of ::! university into the form of a _j we bsite. As the term "Facebook lL me" begins to spread around Harvard Unive rsity, the boys find that their project

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users. it is fascinating to see the orig in s of something that is often taken for granted people don't usually consider how or why most popu lar websites were founded. Th e film gave a fairly accurate account of how the websi te came into fruition and although they took some artistic libertie s, the attention to detail was fantastic. The wardrobe department even dressed Jesse in rep licas of clothes that the real Mark Zuckerberg owns. Overa ll, The Social Network was an entertain ing film. it was the perfect comb ination of intel ligent humour and emotive drama. Amy Griffiths

pARANORMAL ACTIVITY

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UNRULY BEHIWIOUR 1; 0

chem istry wit h Jesse makes their characte rs' friendship feel more genuine. Justin Ti mberlake also performs we ll, ironically cast as the founder of music-sharing website Napster. Armie Hammer, aided by some f1awless CG I, is able to play t wins, which injects some more humour into the film .

THE LrFE AND DEATH OF

NICE ~·~~~~-~~

up for w ith great writing . The script, penned by Aaron Sorkin, is witty and fastpaced. Jesse Eisenberg is well cast in his role - his sardonic delivery of lines makes his character funn y, if not likeab le. Andrew Garfield's false American accent is co nvinc ing and doesn't sli p. Hi s onscreen

Despite the charming cast, most of the characters in The Social Network aren't very likeable. it's fairly hard to relate to the upper cla ss, pretentious Harvard students, but it's sti ll an evocat ive film. The focus on the importance of friendship and knowing who your real friends are is a re latable them e for all of the audience. Impressively, the film manages to remain fairly unbiased w hil st it portrays real lawsuits and real people - all of the cha racters have f1aws and strong points. For examp le, Mark is a genius but he is also incredib ly arrogant. Facebook has become a large part of globa l cu lture with over soo m illion acti ve

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world has never looked so carefree and easy than in Mr. Nice. Rhys lfans plays legendary Welsh drugsmuggler Howard Marks in this recent autobiography adaptation. The fi lm tracks Howa rd 's rise from sma ll town beginnings to his introduction to drugs at an Oxford Univers ity dorm, hi s rol lercoaster life as the most wanted crimina l in Wales and finally his fri en dsh ip Jim McCann (David Thewlis), the leader of the I RA. Mr. Nice holds a lot of promise with the always charming Rhys lfans a consta nt joy to watc h, however, the film falls with its lack of focus. it is not a

••• • •• • •••••••••••••

light-hearted caper fi lm in I •Director: Burr Steers • • the ve in of Perriers Bounty : Release Date : 8!10/10 that the trailer makes it out to be, nor is it a gritty biopic. • There are enough ~f;~n~s· comed ic moments to keep I ·E:~~~ ~t~n~ • • • people satisfied, with heartthrob status to the David Thewlis drawing full, Char!ie St Cloud tells a face on the end of his the story of a talented and unmenti onables being the ambitious yachtsman who most absurd, and there is must learn to enjoy life plenty of heart-felt emotion again after the death of as Marks is torn away from his brother. Help comes in his fami ly through the the form of Amanda Crew, inevitable cou rt cases and playing the beautiful sailing jail sentences. star love interest who is it is overa ll a so lid and preparing for an around-theenjoyab le British film, and world Jaunt. wi th funding awarded by Although heralded as the soon-to-be abo li shed Efron's acting breakout, the UK Film Council, Venue young pin-up finds he has urges you to go see it be fore little to do but act broody decent British fi lms become whil st looking, like, so a distant memory. totally dreamy - seriously the camera really does love his face, only reluctantly leaving it for shots of the TomTheedom beautiful New England setting. A clunky script

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filled with wince induc in g dia logue, including such gems as "don't squander the gift of life". Meanwhile, gimmicky supernatural elements that never really make sense are introduced, leaving clumsy plot holes in its wake. Towards the end, as the pace accelerates the mawkish melodrama piles up, leading to a predictable and unsatisfying ending. That said, the photography is undoubtedly impressive and t he brother's death scene manages to wring out some emotion. Neverth eless, however much Charlie St. Cloud desperately tries to be a se riou s romantic drama, it unfortunately never makes it beyond being a cliched t ee n weepy. Josh Weatherill

: oi~~ c"t~;: i-~dd wi ili~~s· • • : Release Date : 22/1o/10

After the success of Paranormal Activity, the sequel seeks to produce the same thrills and ch ill ing tension. Set before its predecessor, the fi Im centres upon a family whom, after a burglary, set up security cameras around their home, only to capture far more sinister events than they could have ever imagined. Creating a lot of ex pe ctatio n prior to its release, the question ultimately here is, is the film any good' The answer would be a resounding no. The first half of the film tries relentless ly to build expectations, and yet fails miserab ly to do so . When finally supernatura l events

unfold, they generate a sense of comedy through their lack of origina lity. Many of the techniques of the previous fi lm now become exhausted and predictable in the second. This sim ilarity patronises an audience who can instantly guess when a door w ill shut or a li ght wi ll turn off on its own. The horrifying truth is, Paranormal Activity 2 wil l lead you to laugh more than scream. Occasionally it delivers a few cheap scares, but the film sinks f ar too low in order to get a rush out of us - and in the end , the rush isn't even that good . Lacking the unique and eerie br illi ance of Paranormal Activity, the seque l seems to turn the horror genre into a joke. You'll sleep fine after this one. Anna Eastick


........ ' .....,.,. .... •Director: P1erre Comn, : chris Renaud : Release Date: 15/10/10

• : :

• • •

••• • •• •• ••••• ••••••

Despicable Me is another animated family flick that performs its role perfectly. Gru (voiced by Steve Carell) is an ageing villain who desperately tries to remain the most devious in the competitive evil industry, comically funded by The Bank of. .. (well) Evil. Having stolen the Statue of Liberty and the Eiffel Tower though admittedly from Las Vegas, Gru sets out to pull off his biggest heist yet : stealing the moon! With his army of tic-tac shaped minions providing constant laughs, the predictable plot is actually rather enjoyable, and there are certainly a few moments

DVD

of laugh out loud hilarity. However, it is the three orphan girls who slowly go about melting Gru's heart that really make the film . Moving from baddie to daddy, Gru becomes a loveable rouge, and even Carell's terrible accent is excused. This film shows 3D animation at its best, examples include a distinctive theme park ride scene which is sure to win over its intended aud ience . Adults will also get a laugh at the small but amusing turns from crackpot inventor, Dr Nefario (Russell Brand), and Gru's heartless mother (Julie Andrews) . The familiar but fun little movie is definitely worth a trip to the cinema . Gabriella Colasurdo

••••••••••••• ,...... •Director: Jason Fnedman,• : : Aaron Seltzer : Release Date: 15/1o/1o • :

h fil go to see t ese ms. This unfortunately give s producers an incentive to keep producing them;

:. , •••••••••••••••• :

they're not looking to win

Where to start7 When there is a film this bad you can't describe it without referring to colloquial terms which are not highly looked upon. For the sake of soiling any innocent ears out there here is a brief summary of the plot. Vamp1es Suck is basically a cheap parody of the Tw ilight 'saga', with the names changed and some of flat-line jokes thrown in. As it stands, this film has made $66,075,338 worldwide, posing the quest1on : how has it made so much money? The sad truth is that there have become a niche cult of people who will

an Oscar or BAFTA, they're simply looking for a quick way to make money. They're technically selling their poor creative minds for money, an obscure sort of prostitution if you will . In short, it's wron g. To round up; this film IS awful, don't see 1t, do r,'t think about seeing it, don't speak of it. Why? E' ~ cause there is always a danger that someone may hear you and go see it, funding th is atrocity of unoriginal film -making and ruming cinema .

Alexander Haines

: Release Date: 8/1o/1o

:

• • • • • ••••••••••••••••••• What would you do if you found out your best friend and their spouse both died in a car crash? What would you do if they named you and your worst nightmare to be the legal guardians of their one year old baby girl? This is the premise of Life as WeKnowlt. lt was targeted as being a romantic-comedy but for this reviewer it is a film with much more depth . Life as We Know it is a film about friendship and love but most importantly, family. The film takes you on a journey of two people who have no idea how to get along, let alone how to raise a child . The two don't even

have the chance to grieve over t he death of the ir best fnends which only heightens the emotions they feel at and about each other. it's full of laughter, arguments, sadness and understanding . Katherine Hiegl plays the part of Holly perfectly, but this is a role known too often to an audience as once again she was cast as the always organised, totally mdependent female . On the other hand, it was a pleasant surprise to see Josh Duhamel in a part that wasn't full of action-packed adventure; it showed that actually, he has the possibility to be versatile . Th1s is a comedy about taking it one step at a time .

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RELEASES BRoOKLYN's

SHUTTER ISLAND

FINEST

•••••••••••••••••••• •Director: Martin Scorsese • : Release Date: 2/8/10

•••••••••••••••••••• •Director: Greg Berlanti •

•••••••••••••••••••• •Director: Antoine Fuqua •

: Release Date: 18/10/10

•••••••••••••••••••• There is something knowingly indulgent about Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island; the feeling of foreboding is established right from the opening image of a ferry chugging towards a the mental asylum situated upon the island, against the foghorn-like soundtrack which ramps up the cliched sense of unease. When a patient goes missing US Marshal Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his partner (Mark Ruffalo) are brought onto the Island to investigate;. They are faced with a suspiciously uncooperative head doctor (Ben Kingsley)

• LtJ

•••••••••••••••••••• and soon realise their investigation is far from the only mysterious element. Daniels is a man teetering on the edge of a breakdown, flashbacks of his dead wife and his horrific experiences at Dachau augment the suspense created by the Island's gothic qualities. The film proves incredibly enjoyable, harking back to B mov1e traditions; suspense, the extreme and overplayed dramatic moments demonstrate the film is quite aware of its pastiche qualities yet

maintains visually stunning production and an engaging script. The pace of the film belies the two-hours-plus running time; rarely are there scenes which prove overlong, indeed there are some genuinely unnerving moments. Many have bemoaned the obvious plot twists but allow yourself to be taken along with them, indulge in the film 's generic conventions, and you will find that an enjoyable night is to be had . Emily Bater

it's hard to believe that Antoine Fuqua didn't consider he might be setting himself up for d1saster when he decided to allow the word 'finest' to be put in the title of his latest directing effort. 'Finest' is quite honestly the polar opposite of what comes to mind when thinking of this film . The story follows the lives of three NYPD cops : Sal (Ethan Hawke) playing dirty in his desperation to support his family; Tango (Don Cheadle) an undercover cop beginning to confuse where his

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allegiance lies; and Eddie (Richard Gere) the burnout only days from retirement. The plot for each of these men was so predictable that even the twists and turns M. Martin's script had planned were incredibly translucent. This leaves the viewer with a pretty clear idea of the conclusion right from the begmn1ng which, when you consider the main component of a thriller is tension, really defeats the entire point of the film . The tired old Hollywood

cliches and stereotypes of cops and gangsters were reeled out to a laughable extent which further served to ruin the drama . W1th such a strong cast working alongside a director who holds an Oscar for his last cop film, Training Day, this film should have been so much more than it was and unfortunately you 'll definitely be disappointed .

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260CT1D I ISSUE 246

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Ben Affleck being two of the worst culprits. lt is unclear whether The Green Hornet will be another cash-fuelled remake or a gripping addition to the genre. On the surface, there is nothing to make it stand out from other super hero films. The Green Hornet's narrative echoes Batman; the spoi led son of a newspaper mogul lives the high life until his father is murdered. After inheriting his family's wea lth, he decides, w ith the help of hi s sid eki ck Ka t o, to fight Crime with some jazzed up gadgets; a gas gun, the hornet's famed double barre ll ed pistol, and

a slick automobile. There is some controversy surrounding the remake of The Green

Green Hornet ha ve a fabled past reaching cu lt status in the sixt1es as a TV show starring Bruce Lee as Kato

Hornet. The current trailer is lacklustre promis ing a tired formula of objectified women, macho roles, explosives and bad puns. Previou s releases of The

the Hornets sidekick. Any super hero who had Bruce Lee as a sidekick is going to leave big shoes to step in to in the future and many Hornet fans are opposed to

TAli<ING MOVIES

"Oh, me and my vap1d gi rlfri end are just off to see ~ the new Saw flick.. yeah, I know it's stupid, we just watch them because they're so funny." How' When d1d 0 the realistic representation w ([ of prolonged human agony become somethi ng we 3 pay £5 so to go and laugh at every year? "His hand's been crushed in a vice AHAHAHAHAI'' "His limbs > r- are slow ly being twisted off AHAHAHAHA'" In the past, 'gore hound s' were a smal l subcu lture of t!l earth-dwelling movie buffs z spending the1r weekends r- huddled in the1r parents'

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basements, getting their rocks off to sc hlocky video nasties picked up from Blotchy Bob, down the market, Sunday afternoon, "three-fer-a-fiver, howsyer father, 01-ol". We good, upstanding land -mammal folk left them to it, regarding them, for the most part, as the sad and lonely adolescents they so clearly were, destined to forever fidd le w ith themselves w hil st wat ch in g Cam ille Keaton stabbing hillbillies with pruning shears. In the mid-nineties, the horror community began to

FANATICAL ABOUT FILM

JAMfS Doer< ERA Y ctsl<s whether the new The ur<:~Pn Hornet 1s d fc~•thful ctd tptdtiOn or camp, gildg t fuelled spoof!

OMING ...

The Green Hornet (2on) is the latest in a string of comic book adaptations due to hit cinema screens early next year. In recent years, comic book fans have been treated to some high profile adaptat ions, inc lu ding the X Men trilog y, a string of Batman films and three Spiderman fi lms. Big budgets, Hollywood formulas, special effects and star names do not guarantee success and comic book adaptations have been responsible f or some of the biggest fl ops of the decade; Pitof's Catwoman (2004) st arring Hall e Berry and John son's Daredevil (2003) starring

ODEON

this remake. They are furious with Seth Rogan's involvement. The Green Hornet's principle writer and star Rogen made his reputation on tongue and cheek comedies such as Superbad (2007) and The Pineapple Express (2008). Th e fear IS that he will turn The Green Hornet in to a light hearted Batman spoof. lt IS easy to understand why fans of the TV show and comic are . concerned · (desertmg the preview at the globa l comics convention in San Diego in droves). However there are film fans and critics alike who are reacting against th e

back lash. Speculating over the possibilities of two h1gh profile professionals such as Gondry and Rogan working together you can see where they are coming from. Perhaps the greatest example of a comic book interpretation is Tim Burton's Batman Returns (1989) where the aesthetic of Tim Burton's trade mark sets and shrewd casting combine w ith Bob Kane greatest Batman script to create a true modern masterpiece. W hether Rogan's involvement will be a disaster or an innovative take on the super hero sto ry for a new decade; we wi ll have to wait and see.

ToM MciNNES quest1ons the moral 1ty of the new school of horror, is ltJUSt light hcarted splcttter or s<ld1~t1c entertammcnt' ?

show some rea l prog ression - onginal plots and wellwritten characters, even satire and analogy, began to rear their heads amongst the corn syrup and animal

carcasses. Wou ld the horror genre once again become a widely-respected cinematic form 7 Things certainly looked to be going that way.

But then, somewhere along the li ne, someone shat in the hamper, and the p1cn1c was rumed for everyone . Except, of course, those who l1ke to bathe 1n the1r own proverb1al excrement. Turns out, they were in the majority. The Saw films are badlywntten, poorly-acted and derivative as all hell - t hey know it and you know it, and yet these flicks st ill continue to fill screens, then seats, then bank accounts. The only draw is the gore any sane person would deplore, and the more you pour 1nto the cinemore to watch the

latest Saw, the more these Hollywood w hore s w ill bore poor folks with Saw-like cinematic chores - another four before the year is out of that you can be sure. (That probably took more effort than writing any o ne chapter in the franch1se). There's nothing fun, or funny, about the concept of pain. If there were, Schindler's List would be a laugh riot. If you go and see Saw 3D, you're laughing at the Holocaust. FACT.

Tom Mc lnnes

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Generally the protagonist, w because, let's be honest, ([ she has more in common U wit h the targe t audience then the man does. She is either a naive little girl, in a fresh environment, with (I) r- love the first thing on her ([ mind (if she's under 25), <( or mistres s of her life, and in credib ly driven by work, with love the last thing on Z her mmd (1f she's over 25). o Either way, she has one major hole in her life that ~ can only be filled by ... <(

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wh1ch turns the G1rl onto him, but has one major character flaw (generally arrogance) wh1ch turns her right back off again. Genera ll y starts with a pos1tion of power to match

RT his attitude (the classic is, he's her boss). Of course, it will all turn out that he always was, or will become, a much better man then he starts out, helped by ...

Thi s character needs to be immediately made one of two things: unattractive (if he's the guy's friend) or, already married (if she's the girl's friend). Either way, this is so the audience know straight away: the re's no romance here. They are the 'com' part of the term 'rom-com', so expect plenty of snarky

Th1s wc•el< TJM BATES offers ,1 helpful scrv1cc · f1ve tclltctlc ~ICJm t'"J it '0ll •c VI' tc.'l•nq I rh'' it fliCk comments/ goofball antics from this character, but for him or her to eventually help their friend real1se what's best for them, which is ...

'haven't met' to 'happily ever after': initial hostility, brought about by some knee-jerk personal ity clash; developing depth, as they each discover aspects of each other that they l1ke, and become closer for 1t; later conflict, as th1 s depth is shattered by a much deeper issue then the one that troubled them before; and final reconciliatiOn, helped massively by ...

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Th1 s thing has been around since Casablanca (thoug h, interestingly, there, it went the other way), and we all

know how they go these days: one of the leads is making some big change , represented by moving somewhe re else; other lead becomes depressed about it, gets shown what's really important by their s1dek1ck, makes a mad, spontaneous, se lfl ess gesture, to comp lete ly erase all the deep problems the couple ever had forever, making for one happy end1ng. Can be replaced by a train station , if necessary.

Tim Bates


ALBUM REVIEWS *¡

TtNIE TEMPAH: Drsc-OvERY

Tinie Tempah is the next in a long line of gritty, grime MCs who've discarded their 8-bar wordplay verses in substitution for pop-dance-rap . Disc-Overy is the culmination ofTempah's efforts. The album begins with an intro that defines the crisp music production which runs throughout. The minor chord progression, similar to the intro of a drum 'n' bass tune, is enough to get the worst of us hyped, but instead of a sexplosive drop the hook is just mundanely looped, quite the anticlimax considering it gives the false hope that it's building up to something; maybe the build-up to the rest

ofthe album ... hmm, shallow and pedantic. Unfortunately, the impeccable (yet somewhat standard) production is as positive as this review gets. Tempah's (or more like the now lack of temper's) rhyming flow feels more like the one-liner standard of Jimmy Carr, rather than that of an experienced grime MC. At least Jimmy Carr has content and delivery - honestly Tinie, what were you taking when you decided going to Southampton, not Scunthorpe, was ever going to be a lyric worth using?! Continuing through the album, the music runs a consistency of some hybrid of Crunk, RnB and DnB but without any seamless interplay. it's a bit like turtles having sex; it doesn't sound right. On top of this, the melodies are so drab, cheesy, and they pull at your heartstrings so much that even David Guetta would cringe. These are clearly songs made for underage nightclubs . Reaching the song Snap and the music seems to be shaping up, the indieinstrumental hip-hop vibe is actually quite pleasing to listen to if you're able to block out the vocals over the top. Huge chart topper Written in the Stars hints at a similar sales-boosting formula which follows the

efforts of Eminem and Rihanna, or B.o.B. and that emo chick. Not necessarily bad, just mass-produced. Halfway through the album and the sound of his voice has become so nauseating that it's ruining whatever remote appeal he had at the start. Tempah sounds like a weak LiiWayne, he's probably got "Sizzurrp" confused with "Calpol". Although negativity is dominating this review, it's got to be noted that Miami 2 Ibiza is a solid tune, though unfortunately it's not down to Tinie's charming and original lyrics, but rather the emphatic production of Swedish House Mafia who just can't falter. Disc-Overy continues with its mundane thematic style until its closing. it's a disappointing album, which could have been a lot better if approached with at least mild integrity. There's not much to discover here except that Tinie Tempah is just the next in the queue of underachieving grime MCs that are being moulded into a product which can be marketed and sold . Absolute swag . Still though, he'll be laughing all the way to the bank ...

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l<tNGS OF LEaN: COME AROUND SUNDOWN

Think Kings of Leon, you think Sex on Fire, however, some of us will remember the days before these four son-of-a-preacher hillbillies had inflamed intercourse. Last Friday, Kings of Leon brought out their fifth album entitled Come Around Sundown. The first single Radioactive reached #7 in the chart; a modest effort, but will the album do the same? Opening track The End sounds rather pessimistic and, with echoing piano twinkling, it's way behind the slow thud of the bass drum, it feels more tender than their previous album; Caleb's gracefully grainy vocals bathing your body in goosebumps.

***

Opening with a ballad is not what us old Kings of Leon fans expect, we liked it when we were hit in the face with head-banging, body-shaking Red Mornmg Light style anthems. it's been seven years since their debut album though; maybe we should just accept that these boys have grown up. Moving through the record, it seems that stand-out track, that will rack up about 58 plays in your iTunes in three hours, is missing . Then it becomes clear that this is not a record made up of singles, it is an album that must be listened to holistically. Take it apart and it sounds unfinished, but when listened to continually you could find something different every time you listen to it. There are glimpses of experimentation in this record; Back Down South sounds like Billy Ray Cyrus helped the boys out a little and with soft slide guitar and rhythm provided by gentle tambourine, it shows the rockers giving us a little taste of the south (minus the fried chicken unfortunately). Come Around Sundown still holds elements of old school Kings of Leon and ultimately, if you like the Leon Lads, you should buy it, you will listen to it and learn to love it (more than Only By The Night anyway). Hana Lockier

JtMMY EAT WORLD: INVENTED

No matter what Jimmy Eat World album you're listening to you're asking for a rollercoaster ride into polished emo, much in the vein of Dashboard Confessional and Jack's Mannequin, but slightly more socially acceptable. Invented brings no surprises in that sense . The album does what they do best; big guitars with catchy lyrics all brought together with their obvious development as a band, which is what you'd expect after 16 years . This isn't a comeback but more an accumulation; Invented sees JEW reunite with Mark Trombino, the genius behind their seminal fourth album Bleed American

****

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and Trombino's production again seems to energize their songs, showcasing just what makes this band incredible. There are some classic Jimmy Eat World songs; Evidence and Movielike are instantly recognisable and their single My Best Theory may not be the b~st song on the record but sticks to their roots . Mixtape and Invented are both 6 minutes plus and they tend to drag despite their beautiful harmonies. The stand out track on the album is opener Heart is Hard to Find because it manages to encapsulate the albums progression and gets better with each listen . The stomping beat, chimes and myst1c orchestration are hard to den)(. Action Needs America is the penultimate song which seems to be channelling thei punk rock roots, with slightly more dis1orted guitar if that's more your thing, either' way the growling anger of the chorus offers a rocking tune . Invented once again delivers the perfect break up compililtlon; managing to tug at your heart strings whilst also making you want to jump up and relive being 15. The album is a beautiful journey and a collection of excellent songs which can safely sit side by side with those of their earlier albums.

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18

2SOCT1D ISSUE 246

MUSIC

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When Dinosaur Pile- Up first came to public attention arou nd late 2008 with the release 1.1.. of My Rock'n 'Ro/1, they did so with enough exuberant punch t o herald the arrival of an exciting fresh face on the guitar rock scene. u This is not to say that DP-U are particularly orig in al. Growing Pain s is pretty ~, much a tribute to late-8os and early-gas ~ alternative rock, in that it sounds basically the same as loads of bands from that era. it's retro as f*ck. In fact, it's so retro it's practically post-modern in its vis ion - there's 0 been a lot of bands dredging up awful 8os w a: influences in the last few yea rs, but DP-U might just be the first gos nostalgia band . _J

.....

****

PLAY IT STRANGE

it's been thrown their way time and time again by lazy journalists. Yes, DP-U do sound a bit like Nirvana - they play uncomplicated, heavy yet me lodic rock, songs that combine massive choru ses w ith as few chords as poss ible and they do sing about teenage angst and alienation. Really though, they owe more to the likes of Weezer, t he Pi xies and especially Foo Fighters, idolised by DP-U singer/guitarist Matt Big lan d. These influences are hardly subtle on Growing Pains; first track and recent single Birds and Planes wou ld slot comfortably into any Foos album and the opening guitar riff on Never That Together seems to have been lifted directly from the Pi xies' Suifer Rosa . Rather than capitalise on the buzz surrounding their first singles, DP-U chose to retreat and record their debut at their own pace. They emerged some two years later, only to find that the world had mostly forgotten about them and it could be tough to reclaim the hype . lt would be a shame for them to become confined to tiny bars and grimy clubs, as such a songwriting talent has the potential for mu ch larger things. Tom Duffy

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The most important consideration that you shou ld have upon browsing this review is that this will never be anybody's favourite album. Certainly it's enjoyable, in a summery, foot-tapping sort of way, but that's where it end s. If we dip below the we ll-produced surface of hair-clipper guitars and fervent, happy-clappy drumming, it becomes clear that it's all been done before. Go back to 1985 and you'll find a band called the Jesus and Mary Cha in w ho mad e an album called Psychocandy. This was a ground breaking record and has yet to be bested as THE landmark noise-pop album. The Fresh & Onlys do show diverse influences, but there

***

HALCYON DIGEST

samp li ng . Tracks such as Deadbeat Summer and Terminally Chill make sub lime stand alone singles, but this album is certainly best appreciated as a whole. Each song blends seamlessly in and out of the next, inducing list eners into a spaced out, nost algic state. Although this facilitates a sense of continuity as the album progresses, three tracks are under a minute long and possess limited va lue . However, t his is countered by t he inc lusion of newly re leased sing le, Sleep Paralysist and a bonus collection of re mixes: expanding the album to 20 tracks in al l. The remi xes, by artists such as Toro Y Moi and The Antlers, are an interesting but ultimately an unnecessary addition to the album. With its dreamy, slacker driven ethos this is the album that should have been the soundtrack to your summer, but its UK re lease is both late and untime ly. Unfortunately, what was a burgeoning scene upon the initial release of Psychic Chasms has already become a defunct genre. With an influx of imitators the chillwave market looks to become as saturated as Neon Indian's daze inducing beats. However, wh ile chillwave may have prematurely run its course, Psychic Chasms remains as both its first, and fine st , exa mp le. Jordan Bright

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At lanta's got a funny old scene. On the one hand, it produced both Usher and Justin Bieber. On the other, there's Deerhunter, fronted by the uber prolific Bradford Cox. To put his work eth ic into co ntext, t his is his sixth album (two of which were under his solo electronic moniker, At las Sound) in less than four years, not to mention numerous collaborat ions and the five hundred-odd cassettes he reckons he has in storage . He 's said that this new LP mainly concerns 'the way that we write and rewrite and edit our memories to be a digest vers ion of what we want to remember', and whi le this does come across in some of the more candid lyrics ('That October I He

** is the nagging feeling that this isn't the sort of band that kids go wild for. I'm All Shook Up, Summer of Love and Fa scinated are all solid pop songs with plenty of fun and sparkle, except they sound as though they we re penned respectivel y by The Coral, The Damned and The Beach Boys . There's nothing wrong with re sp ecting and paying tribute to your influences; no music is truly origina l anyway so we should give The Fresh & Onlys fair dues, and after all the sun was shining, and we did enj oy listening to it. Yes, it's a bit pedestrian but it's very inoffensive and probably isn't going to rou se any strong emotions either way. If you like tambourines, gueril la-girl backing voca ls and Ca liforn ian drawls, then look no further, but don't expect to be spinning it in a month's time; at best it's background music for a barbecue, but not for a la carte dining next summer. And since winter is now almost upon us, the Fres h & Onlys may be lacking in plays come spring, being forever re sig ned to that ignoble status of remaining in our iTunes so that girls will think our music ta stes are obscure and eclectic. Will Newton

** *

came over every day I Th e smel l of loose leaf I Joints on jeans and we would play') it's most apparent in the music itself, a dreamy collage of ha lf-heard riffs and electronic fills drifting around a hazy vocal. On some t racks, such as th e unreasonably addictive Revival, these textures are blend with pop hooks . Elsewhere, wave upon wave of guitars and electronic no ise bui ld and intens ify, most notably during gorgeous album hi gh lights Helicopter and Desire Lines; the four minute breakdown that sees off the latter is the closest the album gets to the noisy squa ll of 2oo8's M icrocastle, and very nea rl y outdoes it. There's even sa x on Coronado; Apparent ly, ' Next year everyone's gonna have a saxophone on their record because saxophones are just cool.' Closing proceed ings is He Would Have Laughed, a tribute to the late Jay Reatard. The lyrics channel Jay in his last days, alone and broken by his own ambition ('I don 't know w here t o go I I know my friends would ... I know where my friends are now.') Perhaps the darkest, most authentic tribute in music hi story, it ends in the middle of a sentence; why shou ld a song about premature death end whe re it's meant t o 7 Dun can Vi cat-Brown


INTERVIEw:

SuM 41

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In anticipation of Sum 41's headlining appearance on the Eastpak Antidote Tour, Venue's own Alex Ross caught up with frontman Deryck Whibley for.a bit of a chat ... Is it exciting to be back on the road after so long? Yeah, we've been off for quite a while, but playing these shows is the best part of being in a band. That's why we started playing in the first place. You're touring with [former Pennywise singer Jim Lindberg's] The Black Pacific. Is it good to be playing with someone whose music you've listened to for so long? We love Jim and we love Pennywise, we've been friends with those guys for a long time so it's great to play shows with him on this tour. How are you feeling after the incident in Japan? it's my back! I got jumped by three random people in Japan and I'm still not back to normal. it's a problem I've had before and it's pretty painful, but I'm just going to try to do my best to play these shows. How's the new CD sounding? I think it's the best thing we've ever done. We're really looking forward to playing the songs live too because it's so exciting hearing the reactions to them.

[Leaked track] Skumfuk seemed to get a good reaction ... Yeah, but Skumfuk's the worst song on this album! Don't get me wrong, I like the song alright. But the whole album is so much better than that. it's definitely the best work we've done so far. Things didn't work out with producer Gill Norton. What happened there? We started out working together and we worked with him for a couple of months, but it just wasn't going the way we wanted it to. it's nothing against him or us, it's just a different process and it tends to go that way. There was the sense that it wasn't quite working . You've produced a couple of Sum 41 albums now including this one, and you did work for Avril Lavigne and Cone's Operation MD. Is it something you want to do on a bigger scale? No I hate producing! I don't even want to do it for us. I don't like it at all. it's just a necessity and for some reason it works best for the band when I do it myself.

What has new guitarist Tom Thacker brought to the band? As far as the album goes not much has changed since the beginning. But with the live show, its different - he plays a lot of guitar solos. He's a mean guitar player with a lot of metal riffs. And he's been singing some songs, too . He's singing a couple of cover songs sometimes, which sound great. You worked with lggy Pop a while back. Is there any other artist that you'd particularly like to work with that you haven't had the opportunity to yet? I'd love to work with Elvis Costello. it's not something I think about all the time, but I'd love to work with him.l've listened to him for a longtime. it's been almost 10 years since you released AKNF. Have you still got the drive to do this? Definitely. I couldn't do this otherwise . it's just because I love it. I wouldn't do this for any other reason. Sum 41 play at the LCR on 27th October Tickets on sale now!

GIG REVIEWS >

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GROOVE ARMADA:

Genre-conquering duo Groove Armada (Andy Cato and Tom Findlay) immersed an energised and dedicated crowd in their characteristically fruitful fusion of jazz, funk, rap, dance and house, upholding their legacy formed from rapid success during the mid-nineties. Although Monday's performance was recently confirmed to be a night in their final tour for up to three years, vitality continued to pulse hard until the very end. SaintSaviour, Groove Armada's current frontwoman and primary vocalist on their latest album Black Light, captivated fans with her beautifully freakish, slightly · unnerving and disjointed, yet remarkably fluid display of rhythm (it is great to

LCR 11/10/10 witness, but too complex to describe without sounding laughably hypocritical) . Beginning the night with Look Me In the Eye Sister, her studio-quality vocals are carried on a deep coarseness that hints at the accent of a New Yorker - unusual for a Londoner, but not totally unforeseen thanks to her "NEW F*CKING YORK" t-shirt. A guest appearance from MC Mike Daniel (aka M .A. D.) warped time in the LCR when hetooktothe stage with Superstylin'. From the left emerged a crew member with Cato's legendary trombone; the atmosphere peaked and was accentuated by one of the most renowned fanfares of all time . Shortly afterwards muted tones were reverberating, signalling the arrival of At The River (the music from the M&S advert for those who are wondering shame on you). The audience, comprised of a broad range of ages, clearly reflected how extensively Groove Armada have influenced both the industry and people's taste . Made up of 14 year-olds, undergraduates, thirty-something office

cubical workers and even the occasional walking stick wielder, it was impossible not to notice the diversity. Similarly starkly apparent was the devotion of their fans; the bass purred and the crowd vibrated - throughout the entirety of the live performance nobody stood still. However, more distinctive than illicit clothing, flourishing brass and raving grandmothers was the on-stage relationship between band members. Their gratitude for each other and the charisma that demonstrated it hummed appreciatively beneath the bass . Grinning with animation, Findlay consistently directed the attention of the audience to his counterparts about to perform, a renowned element in one of Groove Armada's staggeringly famous tracks; there was a prominent eagerness to credit those deserving - which was unquestionably everybody on stage. lt turned out to be an astoundingly impressive night punctuated by an exclusive atmosphere that Groove Armada achieved effortlessly. Harry Slater

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it's a Wednesday night and the LCR is packed with an elated audience eagerly awaiting one of the most anticipated British acts of this year. Example well and truly lives up to his nickname; with a string of successful chart toppers and festival domination over the summer, he is very much the man of the moment. Pitched somewhere between Calvin Harris and Dizzee Rasca l, Example achieved this success with what he has dubbed 'dysfunctional pop'; providing a blend of charisma and quick-witted lyrics over infectious beats. As a performer, he exudes charm and confidence which sometimes verges on arrogance, but is lapped up by the audience nonetheless. His lyrics seem to cover all the trials and tribulations of the youth of today and this clearly strikes a chord with the enthusiastic audience. But tonight his daytime radio tunes are freshened , courtesy of his on -stage DJ who turns the gig into a mini rave . With a sweating, chanting audience, glow sticks akimbo, and even a mosh pit to Kickstarts, the

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tracks move freely between electro, house, dubstep and drum 'n' bass, but the lyrics the audience know and love remain intact. Example's merging of genres is what makes him so marketable; he cleverly embraces diverse sanies and intertwines his rapping and singing skilfully. This unique blend can also be heard in tonight's supporting act. Ed Sheeran, Suffolk's local boy, and winner of 'East Anglia's Next Big Thing', provided a fitting start to the night. Ed's trademark mix of acoustic guitar, complex lyrics and beatboxing was on offer in abundance, yet it seems a shame that such a bright young star should still be doing the same thing he was doing last year. Nevertheless the night ended on a high for both acts and seemed to encapsulate British music at the moment; class musicians, whose music is uplifting in these depressing times, whether providing unapologetic hedonist beats, truthful statements, or hard-hitting lyrics, these guys do it with a flourish . Dolly Smith

BoWLING FoR Soup: LCR 1s; 1o; 10

Sold out in advance, the front of the stage filled up with eager young teens within 15 minutes of the doors opening, and, from overheard conversations, it appeared that many 0 gig virginities were lost that night. w a: Openers The Do llyrots seemed we ll-known in the first two rows, but the nasal voice of wind-up, toy-like front 3 woman Kelly Ogden did little to enthuse the rest of the room, and the impromptu appearance of BFS's Jaret and Erik seemed sloppy, especia lly when they covered the > Cheers theme. ..-Despit e sounding like a 14-year-old girl's dream, Forever Th e.Sickest Kids de li vered a more promising set, comp lete with crowd participation and big, sing-along choruses which got the biggest cheers of all the support acts. ~ Punk legends A w illed the spectators into be lievi ng their heavier style, but the average age of the audience meant r- much of their appeal was lost, though the punch of classic a: hit Nothing finished the set off with a satisfactory feeling

that the crowd remembered t heir name. Bowling For Soup were, as expected, ready with the toilet humour and sex jokes, but in a thoroughly enjoyable way. Hit songs such as 1985 and The Bitch Song got the mob dancing, while a mid-Punk Rock 101 transition into a recording ofCee-Lo Green's F**kYou brought more laughs. The whole set oozed fun until even the most indifferent of the on-lookers "put up [their] rock hands". The screen at the back of the stage was a bit unnecessary in a ve nue that size, streami ng footage that distracted from the group itself; the fans didn't pay to watch music videos all night. Regard less, th e band has been around longer than some of its supporters have been alive and songs like Girl All The Bad Guys Want and High School Never Ends have a timelessness that attracts anyone who remembers what being an awkward teenager was like. Ellie Kumar

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a variety of reasons including drugs, musica l differences, drugs, lack of recognition, drugs, or simply the gradual onset of middle age and the realisation they're not cool anymore. (But mostly drugs.) Of the bands that do make it t hat far, many cannot hope to have he ld onto t he fire, spark and purpose of their early days (see U2 and the Rolling Stones for ample ev idence of this.) However, t he Manic Street Preachers are evidently not like most bands. Really, how many punk-glam-stadium-rock bands with lyrics featuring political sloganeering and cultural comment can you name? Perhaps this is the secret of their success and longevity; nobody else does what the Manics do, so they have to keep doing it. Having recently released their tenth studio album, Postcards From A Young Man, described by bass-player/ lyricist N icky Wire as "one last shot at mass communication", the Manics clearly have a point to prove as they bring their

own glorious version of rock'n'roll to the LCR. Strolling onstage to a visual backdrop which could almost be described as regal were it not for the sparkly mannequins with feather boas dotted around them, the band instantly launch into old favourite You Love Us. James Dean Bradfield's lead guitar is instantly familiar and thrilling and perhaps most importantly LOUD as he swaggers around the stage. The way he screams "your love is like a holocaust" at the chorus is both ridicu lous and bril liant in a way that few, if any, new bands today seem to be able to pull off. What follows is basically a set of greatest hits from across the band's career with a few new songs thrown in, except they have to leave out some of their best songs, because at this stage in their career they apparently have too many hits to cram into a two hour set. When a band is pulling out a stone cold classic like Motorcycle Emptiness as the third song in, you know they have some seriously big guns in reserve. Highlights among these include; the shimmering firework guitars of if You Tolerate This Your

Children Will Be Next; the sight of the LCR roof buckling as it struggles to contain the colossal stadium-sized magnitude of No Suiface All Feeling and Everything Must Go; and an acoustic section which features a trumpet player on Ocean Spray and Bradfie ld imploring the audience to "Jump with me 1" during You Stole The Sun From My Heart. Of the new songs, it's Not War (Just The End Of Love) features a bombastic chorus and Golden Platitudes is a graceful lament with its refrain of "Where did the feeling go.7jWhere did it all go wrong"?". Overall, it looks like the . Manic Street Preachers circa 2010 are thoroughly enjoying themselves, as are their audience. Predictably, the gig ends with A Design For Life, and, predictably, it is awesome. Jami e Lewis Flip ove r t he pag e f or some emphat ic pict ures an d an in depth analysis of the Ma nic's history in N orwich ...


MANic STREET PREACHERs: FAcE YouR TRUTH version, altogether more accessible, and altogether more radio friendly. Bands change. it's a fact of life. If you're trying to be an angry young man when you're 35, it just isn't going, to work. You channel your emotions and act your age. You age as grac~fully as a rock 'n' roll star can . The Manics did just that, and rightly received the due attention for it. When the band became the NME's 'Golden Gods' in 2007, it was an award befitting of their beckoning elder statesmen status. it's a path down which they could have comfortably continued, unquestioned by the press and welcomed by their fans . Instead, they went and did something rather rash. They started recording a sequel to The Holy Bible, writing songs with the unused lyrics of their missing member. Surprisingly, it wasn't crap. In fact, Journal For Plague Lovers was probably their best album since its 1994 predecessor. lt also caused a bit of problem . The Manics, after 14 years of courting the charts, had pulled their skeletons (and army rags) back out of the

James Dean Bradfield at the LCR. Photo: Alec Plowman

it's the small hours of the morning on the 16th May 1991 and Manic Street Preachers should be on their way to the next gig of their UK tour. Instead, three quarters of the band are sat in the waiting room at the Norwich and Norfolk Hospital, They're waiting for their fourth man to be stitched back up. Earlier that night, the Welsh four piece played their first performance in Norwich at the Arts Centre on St. Benedicts Street. By most accounts, the gig was a blast, testament to the band's self-proclaimed promise of a New Art Riot that they'd heralded with the title of their debut EP. Steve Lamacq of the NME, however, was not convinced . In an argument with the band backstage, he'd questioned their motives, accusing them of abusing punk.ethics. Richey Edwards, the Manics' lyricist and rhythm guitarist, had decided to respond with a move that would prove his authentic credentials. He took a razor blade out of his pocket and carved the words ·"4 Real" into his own arm . lt was a move that would push the band into notoriety and define their uncompromising, no holds barred approach for the next four years. If you're reading this as a casual Manics listener, chances are that you've been taken aback. With good reason, too. The band that played at the Arts Centre back in '91 was a very different beast to the group responsible for slew of late 'gos alt rock anthems that they would become most famous for. That difference had a lot to do with the absence of a key member. Richey Edwards, the troubled soul that had slashed hims~lf up in front of Steve Lamacq was the lyricallynchpin of Manics Mk I. On February 1st 1995, after bouts of depression, addiction and anorexia, he disappeared off the face ofthe earth. His car was found by the Severn bridge in Wales two weeks later. His band mates, changed by the experience of losing their best friend, respond by releasing Everything Must Go in 1996. it's an album that sounds like mourning, stripped away of the visceral and confrontational sound of 1994's opus The Holy Bible. EMG would produce their signature single, A Design ForLife.lt's a brilliant condemnation of the destructive drinking culture of the South Welsh Valleys. lt would also signal the end of the glam-punk-cum-militia anti-heroics that had characterised the heady days of the band's youth. Manics Mk 11 was a cleaner and leaner

initial condemnation, he'd missed the point. The house lights dim in the LCR and a collective breath is held . Tonight's show is sold out. it's also a very diverse crowd . A ragtag assemblage of 16-50 year olds in getups that range from leopard-print glam to smart-casual via mismatched army threads have gathered for the Manic Street Preachers' return to East Anglia . This writer is in the photo pit, palms sweating, and suffering from a severe case of lens envy (he consoles himself by thinking that the other photographers' massive cameras are probably substitutes for their small dicks). There's an anxious air as the band takes to the stage, James Dean Bradfield and Sean Moore in black military getup, Nicky Wire a lanky Adonis of fur coats and sailor hats . They run with it. 1992's You Love Us slams into Motorcycle Emptiness by way of 2oo6's Your Love Alone Is Not Enough . Left hook, right hook, left. Tonight, they're elder statesmen in name only, playing like a band half their age. The transition between the snot nosed nihilism of their earlier material and the accessible anthemics of their latter day chart successes is seamless. it's also completely sincere . lt was the sincerity that the writer had missed with his initial observation . He'd become so occupied with what the band's "find your truth, face your truth, speak your truth, be your truth" m antra had meant when it was birthed in 1995 (the lyrics are from Judge Yr'selj, the band's final track with Richey) that he hadn't realised they'd been doing it ever since. The band was speaking their truth on the stage at the LCR that night and for the first time he really listened . Boy, did it sound good. In fact, it sounded better than good, it sounded honest. Whether a late go's chart smash or a slab of jarring, Orwellian discontent, every song that the Manics threw down was so devoid of bulls**t that it hit you right between the eyes; a light bulb moment of unmitigated inspiration. In two hours, they didn't falter, waver or shy away from that honesty. What's more, as he realised in that moment, they never had.

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Richey after the "4 Real" incident at the Norwich Arts Centre, 1991

closet and returned to being brutal. How could that side of the band coexist alongside their other, altogether more polished aesthetic? lt couldn't. While the band mi'ght have tried to get around it by dividin.g the track list on their 2008 dates into separate JFPL and greatest hits sets, they'd inadvertently created a Jekyll and Hyde situation . There were two different bands called Manic Street Preachers, a fact that the group had suddenly drawn attention to. Would they pin their colours back onto the pop mast, or mutiny once again as a militia of discontent? This year's comeback single lt's Not War (lt's Just The End Of Love) left anyone hoping for the latter sorely disappointed, this writer included. it's the reason he'd approached their 5th Norwich performance (this time at the LCR) on October 17th with some trepidation. He was wrong to do so. He'd quickly realise that (not for the first time in his life), in his

Nicky Wire at the LCR. Photo: Alee Plowman

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What's his style? La id back, conversational and dry observational comedy on a range of increasingly bizarre top1cs, from fire trucks to Flaming Dr. Peppers.

Where have I seen that face before? He was Raaaaandy in Funny People, and has appeared 1n a few other Apatow films. He also played the rac1st fru it vendor in Flight

What does Chris Rock think? " lfSteven Wright, M os Def and Dave Chappelle had a baby, that would be disgusting, but it wou ld sound like Hannibal Buress. The funniest young comic I've seen in years."

W hy is he a 'name t o drop '? He's indie as hell, having worked with Dave Sitek, Tapes n' Tapes, David Cross and Ghostface Kil lah to name but a few.

Typical gag? "When people go through something rough in life, they say, 'I'm taking it one day at a time.' Yes. So is everybody. Because that's how time works."

Hannibal's live album, My Name Is Hannibal, is out now

Bo BuRNHAM- WoRDS WoRDS WoRDS

a: Bo Burn ham is very good at what he does, and has been s1nce he began posting You Tube videos at the age of sixteen. Now, at the ripe old age of twenty, he has a second live album > out, so set your ce ll phones to vibrate and your 1- vibrators to, um, cell phone ... er... mode ... What he does are outrageously politicallyincorrect raps and ballads peppered with outrageously politically-incorrect one-lmers l9 revolving around sexuality, relig1on, race z and all those other hot potato subjects. 1- Some would argue t hat comedy re l1 ant on a: controversy alone IS going for the cheap and 3 easy laugh, and they'd be right - there's no mystery to political incorrectness. You can 3

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be sure t hat if the setup involves a sensitive subject, the punch line will be insensitive, inAammatory or otherwise shocking. Contemporary shock-comics often fall back Or.l this very post-modern idea that because their humour IS always firmly tongue-incheek, always 'knowing', always played with a grin and a wink, that they are really making some post-modern comment on society's perceptions of blah blah blah .. Bo is no d1fferent, but that's not to say he isn't fu nny or ta lented- he's both, but often inspite of h1s more provocative material. What's most impressive about Bo is his incredib le understandmg and manipulation

of language, and when he hits, as he does on about 6oo/o of th1s latest full -length, it's enough to make your Jaw drop, sk1p back, and listen to three more t1mes. Listening to him fill four minutes with at least forty very inventive and often hilarious puns, piled atop literary references, pol1t1cal commentary and bitmg social satire can be a marve l to witness (aurally w1tness ... hear). You're unl1kely to hear a funn1er set of songs and gags this year. We can only hope that as the young man matures as an artist, he'll learn to be as inventive with h1s subject matter as he is with his language. Tom Mclnnes

ojThe Conchords.

Typical gag? I heard th is big rap producer bragg ing; ' Hey, hey-- why don't you try making four beats a day for two summers 7' What a dangerously specific challenge that is."

Aziz's new live album, Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening, is out now.


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LISTINGS (I)

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Magnetic Man -The Waterfront-

* Stewart Francis (Standup comedy) Theatre Royal- 7:30pm (£5-£15) * Crooked Still - Norwich Arts Centre8pm (£10-£12)

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* Micheal Frayn (Literary Festival)- LT16:3opm (£6) *

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- LCR - 6:3opm (£18) Nils Lofgren -Theatre Royal- 7:3opm

~~ * - Hallowe'en Horror Film Night! (Vote for your favourite scary film now!)nopm (£2.80) * Annual UNICEF Halloween Fancy Dress Pub Crawl- Meet at the Square 7:3opm (£5 - 100% profits go to UNICEF)

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- LCR - 1opm (£8)

~~ * The Big Halloween Weekender: Fright Night- Mercy (free entry before 11:3opm with flyer) * Jools Holland and his R&B Orchestra feat . Alison Moyet - LCR - 7.30 pm (£19 £27.50)

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- LCR - 1opm (£s.soadv) * Lissie - The Waterfront - 6:3opm (Ho) * Pinnochio - Norwich Puppet Theatre2:3opm (£s-£?) * Twee off' Halloween party feat . Chrome

Hoof- Norwich Arts Centre - 8:oopm (£g) * Meltdown -The Waterfront- 1o:oopm (£3.50- £4.50)

~flro * How To Survive A Zombie ApocalypseNorwich Arts Centre - 8:3opm (ES-£8)

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Hallowe'en- Why not go old school, don your mostly frightfully frightening costume, and go Trick OrTreating7 * Easy Star All -Stars - The Waterfront 7pm (£16)

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Halloween comes but once a year, and with it carries nostalgic memories of toffee apples, bitterly cold afternoons and carvir,g out a pumpkin into a mildly a 11using caricature. Make the most of your day, even if your plan is simply to throw on some "shocking" attire and scare the living daylights out of someone who deserved it. However - as we at Venue are sure you will agree - as students, we are mature, level headed and sensible enough to realise that this is the one time of the year when partying hard is not only. advised, but a rite of passage. Residents of Norwich and the UEA are no exception to this, and as such there are many events being

planned fo r the days runn ing up to t he legendary All-Hallows-Eve . The first to be held is the annual UNICEF Halloween Fancy Dress Pub Crawl taking place on the evening of the 28th, in aid of the international charity. Organised by members of the UNICEF Society at the UEA, this event promises to make Halloween 2010 one of the most memorable events of the year, as not only will there be f ree drinks at every stop, the society has vowed to give 100% of their profits to the charity; who said Halloween wasn't good afterall? Next on the itinerary is the Big Halloween Weekender - Fright Night, hosted by Norwich's biggest nightclub Mercy on Friday 29th . Legendary

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* Alton Towers Student Offer - Va lid until 31st October - Book now and save up to so% on standard ticket price with valid student ID.

nights, Mercy's Fright Night will be the one to go to for those of you who enjoy a Jagerbomb-fuelled night of barely-there clothing, cheesy tunes and Champagne (from Devon).

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Last but by no means least is the Hallowe'en LCR 2010 on Saturday 30th. A permanent fixture to the UEA LCR calendar, this event is perfect for the weary student. Right in our own back garden, this event boasts spooky decorations, trailers and promotions for the upcoming film Paranormal Activity 2 and special give-aways to a select few lucky individuals . So, invest in some red face paint, forget your ever looming over-draft limit and make this a Halloween to remember.

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1: Making a hypocritical show of religious devotion (13) 7: Object used to lever a boat (3) 8: Famous guitarist, Jimi (7) 9: Actor wlio played SpoCk (1) 10: Sum of money paid in compensation for loss or inJury (7) 11: Large pan used in Chinese cookery (3) 12: Team game involving long handled rackets and a ball (~) 14: Rotund Texan singer, Meat (4) 18: An expression of regret (7)19: Genre of alternative rock music

1: Facial expression of displeasure (5) L: Norwich's county (7) 3: Famous mausoleum in India (8) 4: Person who doesn't comfly (13) 5: Mythological monster (4 6: Having no nookie (7) 8: Type of fish (7) 11: Medium sized kangaroo (7) 13: Shoe fastened by straps to the foot (6) 15: Fruit of the oak tree (5) 16: American fashion designer, Calvin (5) 17: Vice-President under Clinton (4)

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::::> This week Concrete are giving away a signed copy of Gok Wan's inspirational

~ autobiography Through Thick and Thin, as well as three pairs of tickets to see Goldfrapp, Less than Jake and Mid lake, and, last but not least, a crate of Relentless energy drink .

~ For a chance of winning, just bring your completed crossword to the Concrete Office by a: Wednesday 03/11/10.

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Venue - Issue 246 26 October 2010