The event- issue 107- 19th Janurary 2000

wednesday, january 19, 2000

give us an 'e'vent please Bob

the

event

in the beginning

contents: short cuts: 04

how to be ... a middle aged theatre goer

ginger ginger gone: is chris evans past it?

the knowledge: pavement

insi ht: 06 08 09 10 11 12

boozer: the event sups with al murray, pub landlord voltage: lightning seeds & mint royale interviewed art house: the new getty museum visited ben folds five interviewed, tom waits; sodden legend bob a job: we speak to the blockbusters hero vapourised: we tell you how to kill off your unwanted soap cast members

inspected: 14

15 16 17

angie stone, primal scream, notorious b.i.g., horace andy, super furries ', oasis, utah saints, live, mint royale ... again film: dogma, american beauty, mystery men arts: six characters in search of an author, faster reviewed; st petersburg ballet previewed videogame: ten things i hate about you, gregory's two girls, fifa 2000, no fear downhill biking tv: the x-files, soaps, the peter kay thing, miss this: star for a night

event horizon: 19

cinema: now even bigger guide to all the films showing in norwich listings: the comprehensive guide to all that's happening in norwich until the end of term

..,

.:c

cu > cu

people: editor-in-chief: james tapsfield editor: Iuke turner arts editor: alex mcgregor music editor: darcy hurford assistant music editor: Iuke chilton screen editor: adam chapman assistant screen editor: astrid goldsmith tvvideogame editor: steve collins bob photos: dan heywood dtp: Iuke turner, carollne jeater, mark edwards contributing writers: martin brock, matt canning, kris siefken, andrew goodson, jon nice, amanda perkins, michael cimlno, brett ullshite, matt garner, anthony lovell, lmogen dyckhoff, matty read thanks to: tart and the slapper, pete large, dan heywood, extra t hanks to krls slefken

places: the event Is produced fortnightly by concrete: po box 410, norwich, nr4 7tb t el: 01603 250558 tax: 01603 506822 e-mail : su.concrete @uea.ac.uk and printed by: eastern counties newspapers, rouen road, norwlch nr11rb

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

w1n w1n w 1n w1n w1n w1n w1n w1n 2 copies of the Chuck Palahniuk book, Fight Club, are sitting in the Concrete office ready to adorn your bookcase. Fight Club is (incase you have been asleep for the past two months) now a major film under the helmanship of David Fincher and starring the rather buff Brad Pitt and Edward 'the best actor of his generation' Norton. To win these rather fabulous prizes just answer the following question, ~hat is the name of Brad Pitt's character in the film. Nice and easy. Write your answers on a postcard, (with your name, school and e mail address) and stick em in the Concrete competition box in the Hive or pop up to the Concrete office upstairs with your answer. Just remember the first rule of Fight Club, don't talk about Fight Club, doh!

the

event

• • in the be 1nn1n

loose ta k: music snobs W

hile running the risk of sounding as if I've JUSt joined my first alcoholics anonymous meeting here goes ... My name is Adam and I like pop music. Now the way pop music has been treated by some of you causes me now to envisage a sharp intake of breath and cnes of "Oh he doesn't does he? it's such a shame, he seemed like such a nice boy, so normal. Okay maybe not normal as such, but not ... well ... you know ... like that." Yes, I admit it I have a special place in my heart for the likes of S Club 7. Five and Britney Spears and, in my inebriated state have been known to frequent (rather too often) the vodka stained floors of that bastion of cheese, the LCR. And, I'm proud of it. I used to be like many of you, safe in the knowledge that my music collection was just so ... which obviously makes me the kind of person you want to know, and turning my nose up all those sad people who know the moves to Tragedy. Which is a bit like judging people on what magazine they read or what clothes they wear (all of which I'm not at all guilty of doing... Sorry, am overcome with fits of laughter, I'll try and say that with a straight face next ttme). That is not to say that I have turned into an 11 year-old girl. I don't spend hours in my livtng room perfecting dance routines to Top of the Pops and buy S Club 7 calendars (unltke some I can mention) but I do seem to have developed a sense of humour over the last year. That is not to say that I am averse to all kinds of cheesy pop. I still like the same music as before, I've JUSt expanded my horizons. I don't want you to think that I can stomach the likes of Adam Rick1tt (a very good reason for avoiding sun-beds and peroxide),

Cartoons and Vengaboys (Let me be the first to sign the pet1t1on whtch stops all Scandtnavian "performers" from entering our country). I've just realised that when pop mus1c works it really works. The argument that pop lyrics are at best utterly lame JUSt doesn't wash. Take Britney Spears for example (which, I'm sure, many of you would like to take

i don't spend hours sitting in my room learning the dance routines to s club 7 i just have a sense of humour rather too literally). The best selling single of 1999,

Hit Me Baby One More Time, was a heart-plea from an abused girlfriend (or daughter depending on how mentally disturbed you think she really is) to be hit one more t1me as she IS so psychologically scarred. That or she's playing a particularly involvtng game of pontoon. I think, though, that we'll all agree that this 1sn't the most satisfying interpretation of Britney's disturbmg ode to sadomasochiSm. Similarly, Five's If Ya Gettin' Down. A sample of the lyrics: "Wiggy wtggy/ I'm gettmg' jiggy/ Open up the door/ I've got the keys to your ctty/ Looking kinda pretty/ Dance 'ttl you drop/ And 1t won't stop/ 'Til 1t go pop". F'robably a more explicit sex education a1d than anything you'll find in the average

comprehensive, the only thtng misstng IS a reference to the hymen (which last time I looked didn't "pop"). And if you think 1t's all about sex and violence then take a look at those nice girls and boys 1n S Club 7 who dedtcate a whole song on thetr latest album to saying what they would do if "I

could change the world". Wtth such noble intentions how can you people who are so senous 1n your mus1c tastes posstbly qutbble? No sutctdal, angst filled lyncs wtth the S Club. No mono-browed gonlla anttcs like the

Gallaghers (a lthough , I admit, pop music can sometimes be just as pedestrian). So arm yourself with a sense of humour people. lt isn't too dtfficult. I'm not asking you to throw out all your CDs and cross over to the dark side, I'm JUSt urgtng you to laugh at yourself a bit. lt makes life a lot more bearable belteve me. Also, I wouldn't have a very concrete reason to drink a bottle of vodka every Thursday eventng, which, whtle I'm on the subject, bnngs me full circle ... My name is Adam Adam Chapman and I'm an alcoholic.

the tickler: WCCAD J J UPEDD I E P FGASYADFODNEKGO GOS KCUCUKCT I AT SL I JRKYARLOAFST EDTUSHHTDRNMRDH NFEMZWJAFEPTDAI 0 I AGEETTB I YES C R J NRROPROCSUE LN T AGDWNARNIADRMAE NERS P LK I 0 RS TN L E AROPJEDAOFWSABN I DPOE IWLPREJSAM DAKKERSOLLYYPSC N I L KNA R F A HT E RA L I S T S E P ME T E H T A C J ooh no another new term, it's enough to make the bravest squirm; exams, exams, damn damn damn. and if revision 's inspired your mind to twist around, fill in the tickler and win a pound. all you have to do to win this large sum of hard cash is bring a completed tickler to the concrete office, ok? (10) 9: Drunken priest in Father Ted (4) 10: Perhaps the most adventurous archeologist (7 ,5) 11: Sad Massive Attack song (8) version of Bill Clinton's home? (10) 12: Dr Crane (7) 5: Land through the wardrobe (6) 13: unlucky Blur album (8) 6: Arnie saves us from evil (3,2,4) 14: Spirit in (14) 7: Bond with the midas touch (10) 8 : Davina plays matchmaker around Britain 15: 12's dog (5)

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*TWO POOL TABLES* the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

the

event

short cuts

so you want to be a:

middle aged theatre goer pretentiously perfumed pillocks, that 's these folk. want to be one? here's how ... what do they do? Well, go to the theatre, obv1ously. But it's more, so much more, than that. They are worse than luwies, because they are luwie worsl1ippers. luw1e wannabes. They talk in loud voices about pretentious things like 'concepts of spatial awareness on stage'. They are the f*ckers who pre-order interval drinks, so while you are patiently queuing at the bar, they swan past wav1ng their little p1eces of paper like they are backstage passes for Kenneth Brannagh's dressing room. And then they stand there smugly sipping their red wine (pints are for commoners don't you know), fanning themselves with their programmes. Talking loudly. what do they wear? The women tend to opt for .theatre cloaks, the bigger and more fussily embroidered the better. The theatre cloak comes 1n vanous gu1ses - sarapes were b1g m the eighties. which have now been taken over by pashminas and shatooshes. In the old days fur was popular (the rule generally being, the more rare an1mals that died for your cloak, the better), but now the Guardian says that's a bit un-PC darling. The men wear Italian slip-on shoes and chunky Gap knits slung oh-so~~li~O casually round the1r shoulders. They all smoke herbal cigarettes which they extract from their embossed gold cigarette cases. Occasionally the women smoke small cigars to show how liberal and wacky they are. where do they go? They do not limit themselves to ma1nstream RSC productions, oh no. Far from it. They delight in show1ng off about "d1vine little underground plays" that they "discovered Simply by chance", that were actually recommended in the Guardian . Often found in restaurants offering pretheatre meals for a million pounds, they laugh condescendingly at autograph-hunters. Which is odd, considering the amount of t1me they spend hanging around the foyer way after a play has finished. They rarely go to the cmema, considering it vulgar and a lower form of entertainment.

he seems a lonely man , hiding behind his cheeky chappy leery lad image; consoling himself in booze

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last week chris evans sold his ginger productions company, netting the bespectacled boozer tens of millions in personal profit. but Iuke turner asks if it was worth the price paid, and wonders if evans is past his sell by dat e .. . 1cture the scene. In a trendy Soho bar a hundred young media types are having a party. All resplendent 1n Acupuncture tra1ners, combats and body warmer jackets. Clasping champagne glasses and bottles of designer beer all enJOY a collective back patting, occas1onally the men as well as the women popping off the loo to powder their noses. But why are they here? As you peer closer it becomes clear that there is a current moving through the crowd, like a finger through the surface of the washing up bowl, one figure who attracts all the attention, the praise; blows ram down upon his shoulders. You'd wonder why they were bothering; thiS figure IS hard ly insp1nng; self conSCIOusly 'cool ' faux NHS glasses frame a ruddy,

where will they go? They firmly believe in the great celestial get-together after death. They are lookmg forward to swapp1ng notes with S1r Laurence Olivier about the correct way to play Hamlet and out-do1ng each other spott1ng Injokes 1n Tom Stoppard 's plays. They w111 never see what it's like on the other side, where the normal people l1ve, and maybe that's a good thing. Not only is ignorance bliss, it also keeps them away from us ... Astrid Goldsmith

REPLAY

~~~ISS LONDON

F U L L C I RC LE

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

boozy face below a shock of the gingeriest ginger ha1r you could possibly find. Below the beginnings of a double chm more offensively red ha1r pours out of the open fronted shirt. So why the attention? Well, thiS man, Chns Evans, has just flogged h1s production company, Gmger, for £226m, and this 1s the party to celebrate the boostmg of his personal fortune by £75m. Perhaps this party 1s the ultimate Indictment of our society wh1ch puts such a high import on money and fame. That a man who has been lambasted by employees as manipulative and dictatorial , should be so feted seems a little strange . Is the praise coming from genuine respect, or merely an attempt to cu rry promot1on or secure a persona l position? But we must feel a little sorry for Evans. He seems a lonely man, hiding behind his cheeky cha ppy leery lad image; consoling himself in booze. On the day of the sale and party The Times ca talogued Evans ' booze in take for the day -and this was a working day. involvi ng an interview with David Bowie and several business meetings. Evans consumed six pints of lager, glasses of champagne and 'several' vodka's - justified celebration aside, this seems an inordinate amount of booze. And Eva ns' love life seems in an equal state of chaos. Aside from repeated allegations that it is extremely advantageous to sleep w1th Evans if you are a woman looking for a job in Ginger, there have been highly public affairs and break ups. The most recent, with Gerri Halliwell, sunk to new depths. Evans was so desperate to rev1ve ratings for his vanous flagging proJects that he orchestrated a highly publicised get

together, fling, and split up. lt is the problem of ratings that has dogged Evans recently, and has caused some to see the sum pa1d for his Gmger productions company as bemg extraordinarily h1gh . In an ever more competitive television and commercial radio market, where ratmgs for advertisers count above content. Evans has found his programme's populanty plummet; and a recen t survey revealed that viewers and listeners regard his output as being on a par w1th the l1kes of Noel's House Party. And the quality of h1s shows has gone down seemg Evans stnp naked on TFI every week is hardly the most pleasant of sites, and while he used to attract top name guests, the programme 's webs1te proudly boasts that play1ng live. this week will be no-one less that Santana. Oh yes. TF/ seems to attract the kind of audience - both in the bar and over the airwaves - who are well off, retail management types who go to one ·g1g· (Texas or Eagle Eye Cherry) a year, and who think that happiness can be found by achieving Highest Branch Sales and then celebrating with a night at P1zza Express, a discussion about cars, and a listen to Robbie Williams ' 'innova tive' new album. In sl1ort, Evans· programmmg has become bland and Inoffensive; even 1tems that seem designed to provoke appear crass and mediocre rather than confrontational.

ut it has not always been this way. When Evans rescued morning 1V from the dullards of GM1V with the Big Breakfast he prov1ded the perfect antidote for the struggling waker - it was, to be simple, JUSt good fun. Not clever, not cha llenging, but at the same time well thought out, perfect escapist entertainment to prepare you for the day of servitude ahead. The same repeated on Don't Forget Your Toothbrush, which offered the chance of an 1nstant surprise holiday to a member of the studio audience, In the days before the advent of the Nat1onal Lottery, when people still had relatively modest expectations as far as prizes went, DFYT was a runaway success, exported all over the world , including to America where it remains a huge hit. At this point Eva ns was riding on the crest of a wave , and it seemed as if the Gods were smiling when he took control of the Rad io One Brea kfast show. While the evening programming on Radio One had never been a problem , offering leftfield entertainment from the likes of John Peel and Mark & Lard , daytime had been ru led by Steve Wright and S1mon Mayo and Status Quo. Evans ' reign on Radio One COincided with the start of Britpop; it seemed to many as if he was at the forefront of a new cultural revolution. But of course this was just a pipe dream. To capitalise on the confidence in music that abounded at the t1me Evans began his own programme on Channel Four, TFI Friday. At first the show seemed to have h1t the same purple patch as the rad io efforts, with the very latest bands playing every week

ttie~

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short cuts

~knowledge ----033

pavement what's the big fuss then? As with most of the bands featured 1n the Knowledge, there is really very little 'big fuss ' to speak of. But hell, we love Pavement anyway. From their inauspicious beginnings a decade ago, they have overcome constant Fall comparisons, mad drummers and the praise of Damon Albarn to become a shining example of how to be if you don't want to end up in the Top Ten. who does what? This is a band that's had a few drummers. First up was Gary Young, famed for his onstage antics such trying to drum while standing on his head, but who left in 1993 when the rest of the band found him too weird. He was replaced by Steve West, and by the superbly named Bob Nastanovich. Mark lbold plays bass, and guitar/Vocals are provided by Scott Kannberg, a man who once had a fight with Jason Pnestley. Over the instrumentation flow the dulcet yet flat tones of one Steven Malkmus. sold a few records then? I hate this question. No, they haven't sold that many, although later releases saw them achieving critical acclaim, although not very much commercial success. Various Pavement members have also been involved in the band Silver Jews - who haven't sold many records either. which is best? 1994's Crooked Rain. Crooked Rain IS Without a doubt one of the finest albums ever released, including ace s1ngle Cut Your Hair, and the misanthropiC ORange Life (see lyric below). Blur quite like them, don't they? Round about the t1me Blur released Blur, Damon Albarn was widely quoted in the press as say1ng how much he l1ked Pavement. And, apparently, how he

always had, even when he was slagging off America and 'alternative' music. This was the same era that saw music magazines trying to convince women that Malkmus was pin -up material. lt didn't rea lly work.

so, what does the future hold? Pavement are widely assumed to have split, which is fair enough, seeing as they've been together about ten years and are probably sick of the sight of each other these days, but the official webs1te cla1ms they're 'just resting· and will be back with a tour v1deo and all manner of exc1ting stuff in the next century. in retrospect ... ··out on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins I Nature kids. like they don't have no function/ I don't understand what they mean 1 And I really couldn't give a f*ck

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w and some pretty high powered guests. But soon the dream began to go sour. As Britpop waned, so did Evans' show, the guests fell away, and musically it became a live showcase for the mediocre likes of the Lightning Seeds, who seemed

tfi is universally regarded as being abysmal, while virgin radio is heading down the dead centre of a very wide, straight, road to take up a permanent residence. And so we are where we are today. TFI Friday is un1versally regarded as be1ng abysmal, while V1rgin Radio IS heading down the dead centre of a very w1de , straigh t, road. Perhaps the problem now is

that Evans no longer knows when to qu1t. He left the Big Breakfast, Don't Forget You r Toothbrush and Radio One when on top of a critical and ratings peak. But as the quids piled into the bank account Evans, like so many before him, became afra1d to take risks, preferring instead ,to go for the money, the free time to spend hanging around w1th his mates being lager louts. Who can say what the future holds for Evans. In a recent inteNiew with The Sun he claimed to be sick of all the money and its trappings, say1ng that he was going to start g1ving 1t away to charity and dropping monolith sized hints that money does not make him happy. Whether this is from the heart, or Evans is !lying to woo the impressionable readers of Murdoch's sphincter, remains to be seen. What is certain is that Evans must think up some new 1deas soon, or he risks becoming a disgraced laughing stock, a mere shadow of h1s former self. And for a man who exists on the thnll of performance and public recogn1t1on; that would leave him even more alone and unhappy than he could possibly 1mag1ne.

a... w

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the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

•

event

• pub landlords- fat, grumpy old whatsits who get sadistic pleasure from asking you twenty-odd year olds for id. well, al murray isn't at all like his screen persona, as a/ex mcgregor found out over a swift half.. . studied history at Oxford" AI Murray states with humility when asked about his feelings toward students. Bugger; humility aside he st1ll went to bloody Oxford and I can't help but feel a little intimidated by th is fact. Much like I can't help but feel like a gibbering idiot around qualified members of the medical profession. I try to articulate my symptoms accurately but I just can't get it all out, but I digress. Therefore in the light of these revelations it is illuminated to me with object clarity that AI Murray (real name) is far more than the Perrier Award winning character comed ian. "Oxford isn't actually that good anyway. Getting in is the hardest part, the rest is grossly overrated." So with this Oxford business cleared up like a niggly shaving rash and with me not feeling like such a guff speaking, work slacking, sub Hugh Grant melon, we addressed the recent Perrier Award brouhaha. Way back in August of the last year of the last century at the Edinburgh Festival, AI Murray was not nominated for the esteemed Perrier Award (comedy's Oscars). There followed a broadsheet sponsored outcry among comedy aficionados; the Perrier judges acquiesced and AI Murray, The Pub Landlord joined the shortl ist. Then he won the damn thing, a little odd one must conclude. "Well, it's just one of those things" Murray shrugs, and if he seems less than enthused by his victory it's because his w1fe gave birth to their baby daughter at the same time as all this award hullabaloo. "lt certainly puts it all into perspective, not just awards and comedy but everything. Everything changes when you have a child". However at this juncture one hopes that his pub landlord persona won't lead his new-born to a life of alcoholism and a love of smoky interiors. "Obviously I'm not an actual publican", Murray laughs; "although some people do get confused. I presented the Evening Standard Pub of the Year Award and I was introduced as Bntain's Prem1er landlord, and after the ceremony I had all these inbred brewery owners from darkest deliverance country offer me their pubs ." They didn't quite get the joke it would seem; still, better to be offered their pubs than their daughters. Nevertheless, the most prominent peril of character comedy must surely be never being able to escape the shackles of your mind forged creation: "lt would be easy to become bitter and resentful, but AI Murray the Pub Land lord has given AI Murray husband and father a very good life. And it's not as if the two of us are that different.", he says; "Something I get asked a lot is whether I'm hiding behind the character, which is simply not true. I am the character, it's just that I think the pub landlord is a lot more interesting than I am and has a lot more to say." However, before the conversation descends to far into some kind of Pirandello-esque

'' I

i presented the pub of the year award and i was introduced as britain's premier landlord, i had all these inbred brewery owners offer me their pubs deconstruction of reality, I feel compelled to te ll Mr Murray that as an Oxford graduate and an A-l ist comedian he IS not dull and he shouldn't put h1mself down so. After all ta lk1ng to him now he IS warm, open and unlike many other in h1s profess1on,

he does not feel the need to be constantly performing. "But I'm still a hack. All comedians are

i hate clowns. i pray that my daughter never wants to go to the circus, but if the cheque was large enough i would don a red nose in five seconds flat nothing but jobbing hac~ clowns, I don't find therr slightly unnerving. I pray wants to go to the circu! large enough I would do1 wig in about five second~ pretty common responsE expect. Although I do dr< mime ." And who wouldn lthough a self-cor Murray is stil l pro The Harry Hill She This Morning With Richa I'm just turning up on ot to earn a bit of cash or 1 profile. Tllese guys are n and it's a pleasure to ap their shows" especially"' the comedy is as intellig· idiosyncratic and as cutt edge as Lee and Herring are. In additiOn to wh ich Murray is poised to finall strike out on his own int• the limeligllt. "Although don't really consider it stri king out on my own"; whatever vernacu lar he uses to describe it AI has a nation wide headline tour and a sitcom for Sky 1V which he has also written. Recognition in the streets will soon be as common as recognition in pubs where "the staff expect me to know every pnce of every brand of every beverage they sell". Despite his admiration for the aforementioned comics and hiS pledge to appear on their shows "whenever they want me to", he won't be following in the footsteps of Harry Hill and appearing on Celebrity Stars in their Eyes. "Harry's Morrissey impression was great but I could never do anything like that. Harry did talk about who I'd de I couldn't th1nk of anybo that sounds dull". G1ven degree I suggested that could do an 1mpress1on ' historian AJP Taylor. "I d

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

· could be as belligerent as he is. He's the angriest man in the world. Besides I already put enough of my degree into my act as it is. I do th is bit where I defy the audience where I defy the audience to name a nation that Britain has not defeated in war.

travell ing around so much I don't have time to find out what's going on. All you studenty types are all big fans of Bill Hicks but he just passed me by really. Maybe I'm JUSt jealous thougll, after all he made that bnlliant career move of dvinJ'! which made

eVe lit

infocus

•

the last time the piano was rock & roll was back in the days of chopin. but as Iuke chilton finds out, ben folds and his, er, two mates are bringing it up to date ...

'' The

bloody Beatles, that's who we are!", announces Robert Sledge, bassist with Ben Folds Five, the Californian pianothumping three piece who 've been compared to everyone from Squeeze to Gershwin , but prefer to be likened to a bunch of Liverpudlian mop tops. Sledge has the kind of American accent that brings to mind images of Keanu Reeves messing around in time tunnels and playing air guitar. His speech is peppered with such US anomalies as "awesome! " and "chill out, man!", so it's only natural that he 1s bemused by the British dialect. When asked the differences between touring in England and Amenca, Robert highlights the oral d1versit1es.

you guys have a bit more history behind you, all those wars you fought with the french "Um, they have funny accents m England" he mumbles. Pushed further, he reveals more astonishing revelations. "Oh, the coms are heav1er. and well, the country IS a little smaller, and you guys have a bit more history behind you, all those wars you fought w1th the French. Y'know, I can't figure out why the English Channel is called the English Channel and not. l1ke, the Charles de Gaulle Channel?" The French call 1t La Manche. "Oh. see. last week, I'm drunk at somethmg like 4.30 1n the mornmg. and I dec1ded they had another name for 1t. My assumption was correct!"

Having established his brain cells work better after a couple of Budweisers, it's no wonder a sober Robert isn 't the most coherent interviewee. Ben Folds Five have been touring the UK throughout the last months of 1999, promoting their recent album, The Unauthorised Biography of Reinhold Messner. With the commerc1al demise of piano-led acts like Elton John and Billy Joel, the band have always been someth1ng of a one -off. "I think it 1s un1que that we're as minimalist as we are, y'know", explains Sledge. · we Just won't ever have a guitar. Ever. That's the main th1ng. •

ith lead singer Ben Folds stuck behind h1s Baby Grand , you would 1magme the band lack the presence of a front man. Sledge 1s quick to dispel this myth. "Oh, but I am the front manl" he excla1ms. "it's my band!" lt is? Then maybe they should change the name to the Robert Sledge Five. ThiS hits a raw nerve. "Everybody hates that [I'm up at the front] , they go 'it's definitely not the Robert Sledge F1ve'. Do you know, a writer actually said that once in an artiCle? I mean, as 1f I was trying to show Ben up or something!" Robert expla1ns, h1s voice rais1ng an octave 1n exc1tement. "People always th1nk that that's the worst thing I could ever do, so like even me JUmpmg around and having a good time, which I would normally do m any band I was in, it's like I should chill out a little bit and have some respect for Ben. Well, I don't have any respect for Ben, and he doesn't have any respect for me! So I'm NOT gonna ch1ll out, and I DON'T want 1t to be called the Robert Sledge F1ve - I JUSt wanna rock!" R1ght. However, Sledge·s des1re to "rock" has been dampened by a lack of mput m the band's songs so

far. His songwntlng credits on 'Reinhold Messner are consp1cuous by the1r absence. "I don't necessanly th1nk my songs fit mto th1s band. I w1ll wnte a couple of songs for the next record. For th1s record. we JUSt wanted 1t to be more Techn1color. And more pretty.·· So how does that fit 1n w1th the older matenal on the tour? "Yknow ... 1t really kmda works I The concerts have

been a ton better. it's funny, 1f you bang people on the head for 45 minutes, they tend to get numb. But if you bnng it down, and you smcerely play 1t well, then they follow you ... And w1th tha t, Robert must leave to take the stage somewhere m our small country, armed w1th new songs and a new attitude. And I'd recommend a few beers too.

wait legendary old drunkard tom waits has returned from the bottle to star in the truly abysmal new flick mystery men. andrew goodson cracks open the southern comfort and has a look at his long career in music and film ...

he chances of my going to see Mystery Men, currently running 1n Norw1ch, are about as slim as the average catwalk model who can't find her nee-cakes. In this film, however, the en1gmatic Tom Waits appears as Dr. Helier for just long enough to disprove ongo1ng rumours that he is 1n fact dead. lt seems somehow fitting that Wa1ts should find Mystery Men, descnbed by Roger Ebert as ·a long, shapeless, undisciplined mess', an appropriate arena for displaying his vital s1gns. If it IS in any way possible to pigeonhole Tom Waits, 'musician· would suggest ItSelf as the most apt label. Since first cartwheeling into the public eye m the early 1970s, Waits has released 14 official

tom waits appears as dr heller for just long enough to disprove rumours that he is dead albums, and several less accessible efforts. Closing Time, h1s debut album from 1973", saw him croonmg away in fine lounge form , but smce then the mus1cal Journey has been, if anyth1ng, unpredictable. By the t1me 1974's Heart of Saturday Night appeared, Wa1ts was on the way mto a surreal suburban Amencan wasteland, a destinatiOn well and truly explored 1n the mag1cal Swordfishtrombones (1983). At about that t1me S1r Wa1ts shuffled away from support g1gs with such

fellow mavenck m1sfits as Frank Zappa, drastically cu t down to about 60 fags a day, and marned Kathleen Brennan, his mus1cal as well as marital partner. They have smce had three children, with the harmmg mon1kers of Kelles1mone , Casey Xavier and, somewhat more tame, Sullivan. Tom Waits, Family Man, was and IS a strange creature . Setting aside his cultu ral hentage (a Scott1sh father and Norwegian mother) for long enough to consider the Amencan dream, Wa1ts once took the littl'uns to Disneyland: 'Disneyland is the Vegas for children. When I went w1th the kids, I JUSt about had a stroke. it's the opposite of what they say it is. it's not a place to nurture the imagination, 1t's JUSt a b1g clearance sale for useless 1tems. I'm not going back and the kids won't be allowed to return until they leave home.' Mickey Mouse could be m for a long wait. Wh ile playing 'Dad ', Tom Waits also found time to work w1th Francis Ford Coppola , and wrote the soundtrack for One From the Heart , which was subsequently nom1nated for an Oscar. This opened the doors 1nto the ultimate playground of surrealism, Hollywood, and Waits went on to star m films such as Cold Feet and lronweed, and make appearances in, amongst others, The Two Jakes, Rumble Fish, The Fisher King, and Bram Stoker's Dracula. He has also continued workmg on soundtracks. as a composer on Sea of Love, Dead Man Walking, and The End of Violence. In 1992 W81ts won a Grammy Award for 'Best Alternative Album· w1th Bone Machine. lt seemed ol· Tom had finally slipped 1nto the ma1nstream.

And with that he was gone. After 1993's Black Rider, Waits disappeared entirely for the next s1x years. At the age of 54 W81ts crashed back onto the stage with last year's Mule Variations. Skipping sw1ftly around quest1ons of object1v1ty and b1as, I'd say it was the album of the year, and it sees Mr Waits at his scotch -swilling, chain-smoking, gravel-throated best. A peripheral figure in Mystery Men he may well be, but when it comes to incisive wit, cutting commentary, and the smoothest of melodies, Waits is a mystery man worth listening to.

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

the

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in si

' regarding Bob's political leanings was made dunng his reign over Blockbusters, namely the suggest1on that he was pe rhaps attempting to promote far-nght extremism th rough his apparently innocent show: "it's qu1te a funny story actually. I was checking 1nto a hotel in Nottingham and I heard this voice beh1nd me calling me over, saying 'ah Robert, my dear boy! ', and I turned around and 1t was [esteemed comic actor) Donald Sinden. We were ta lking and he said 'I've got a question for you , what have you done with your wave?', and I thought he

bob holness was the ultimate quiz show hostsuave, eloquent, and unafraid of innuendo. steve col/ins puts him back on the hot seat for a chat about blockbusters nazi salutes and richard whiteley's waistline ... EA folklore has 1t that before Britney and her nghteous army of wellscrubbed pop munchkins liberated studentland, there was a dark and perilous time known as the 'Early N1neties', when the young men and women of Britain were forced to wear big baggy jumpers, oddly decorated DM's and do humiliating bouncy dances to the Wonder Stuff. Yet through all the bad times shone one beacon of hope, one man willing to reach out to der yoof of Britain and bestow the gift of knowledge upon the1r Word-addled, hairy minds . And that man's name was Bob. Blockbusters, as we all know, k1cked proverbial batty. Anyone who braved the quite large queues to attend the WKD-sponsored quiz m the LCR before

the subversive glee of the 'p' joke, and the visceral adrenaline enema that was the gold run Chnstmas will have felt once again the excitement of the buzz-in rounds, the subvers1ve glee of the 'P' joke, and the visceral adrenalme enema that was the Gold Run, and will no doubt have understood JUSt why our ancestors were so keen to go on telly and do that godawful hand jive. "it's extraordinary," says Bob, hold1ng court in the back bar pnor to the b1g n1ght, "but I hadn't realised there was still such a following for Blockbusters after all these years. We d1d eleven years of the show, and I'm very proud of it because it's still the only show of 1ts type that was directed at sixteen to e1ghteen year olds, and even though 1t attracted a lot of the older v1ewers it built up until it became a sort of property of the young people" In fact what seemed to set the show apart from others of 1ts Ilk was its appropriation of the 'youth路 market 1t was actually intended for, as well as the1r parents. Unlike other programmes stereotyp1cally associated w1th the 'student audience' - Countdown, Tellytubbies, or whatever lecture-t1me toss us lot are supposed to (1ron1cally) gobble up - Blockbusters was des1gned w1th the after-school/college market 1n m1nd, and they fell for it wholeheartedly, filling as it d1d the gap between CITV and the news (th1s, remember, was Before Neighbours).

an allegation was made that he was perhaps attempting to promote far-right exremism

"lt was difficult to get a1rspace for it because 1t was originally supposed to be a family show, and at first the Network comm1ttee wouldn't let us have a daily slot in the evening as in those days a daily game show was pretty rare", says Bob. "So we were given what was then regarded as 'limbo time', 5:20 m the evening. Now, of course, that's prime-time viewing" Naturally, by being beamed so regularly 1nto the growing minds of Britain's impressionable youth, Bob's 1mage soon became synonymous with a certain sense of authority, of gentlemanly class, of ineffable, stony cool. Less annoying than Henry Kelly, less scary than Magnus Magnusson, and way sharper than Richard Whttely, Bob Holness was seemmgly desttned to become that most peculiar of spectes: the (gulp) Student Icon. When thts term is mentioned, Bob gets all embarrassed. "I've never thought about 1t, you see you don't think about it unless you happen to be particularly bombheaded, but it's reputatton really. When you're doing tt you don't really think you're going to be an 'tcon', you just think "Oh, good, it's popular, let's get on with tt" So you never felt any sense of competitton with, ooh I don't know, Richard Whiteley? (lt should be noted at this po1nt that, upon ment1on of the ridiculously-suited one's name, Mr. Holness puffs h1s cheeks out and makes a rather d1sparag1ng motton around his midriff, which might be seen as an 1nt1mation regarding the esteemed Countdown k1ng路s s1ze. Alas, my dictaphone cannot record this potentially l1bellous visual gesture) "Well the thing about Countdown IS that 1t's so much slower paced than Blockbusters was. it's always very enterta1n1ng, but 1t never really gets w1ldly exc1t1ng, whereas w1th Blockbusters you never really knew what anyone was gomg to say, you really had to keep your eye out. There was very l1ttle ed1t1ng, 1t was almost like live telev1s1on. Stra1ght 1n, stra1ght out." Indeed. But why d1d Blockbusters, m all 1ts populanty, disappear from our screens whi lst a similarly successful show such as Countdown l1ves on? "When Carlton Television took over, the rights to Blockbusters were bought by the BBC, and they phoned me up and asked me if I'd st1ll be Interested 1n presenting, so of course I sa1d yes . But then they sa1d 'we're updating the show, no more readmg the

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

quest1ons from cards, it'll all be done on a computer screen路, and I said fine, I assume you'll still be scouting around the country for the kids? - and the answer was no, they said they were aiming it at adults. I immediately said no to presenting it." Die-hard fans will, however, recall Michael Aspel's ultimately doomed attempt to pick up where the master left off, lasting for only a short run before being dropped by the BBC. "When I turned [the new-look show) down the BBC told me they were going to ask M1chael to host it, so I quickly sent him a card saying 'look out M1chael, they're coming for you, but in the end he accepted 1t." hether or not this is the whole story of the show's mysterious disappearance from the a1rwaves IS open to question. For as The Event can exclusively reveal, an allegation

was talking about my hair, so he said 'your wave at the end, you've changed it, you've turned it into a bloody Naz1 salute!'. Of course I didn 't realise I had, and on his say so I changed it completely. Thankfully nobody noticed except him." Near-brushes w1th infamy aside however, Bob insists that the current Blockbusters university tour will not herald the show's return to our screens, and claims that "you can't really compare 1t" w1th the rather sedate celebrity niceties of Call My Bluff. "They're completely different shows, there's less chance of things going wrong in Call My Bluff." So 1t would seem that the show has indeed gone for ever, with the Blockbusters-Bob that we know and love left wandering from university to un1versity, making some lucky student's life a little better at each stop. The Littlest Hobo of light entertamment? Pah! Surely there must be some dirt to dig, some inner demon raging to escape from beneath the affable, cha rity-dotng exterior. Those incessant "I'll have an 'P' please Bob" jokes, for instance didn't you ever JUSt want to tell t hem to put a sock in it? "Not at all - it was funny at first and after the 105th time I was still laughing with the kids because they thought it was funny. All their friends would come down from their schools or universities to watch them and would absolutely love it." Bob Holness. Friend of the Kids, parents and grandparents al1ke, we salute you. But not in Nazi fashiOn, of course.

event

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getting the point T

spike lee's films have long had a major impact on the world of cinema, for their controversy as well as brilliance. with new flick summer of sam out now, kris siefken casts an eye over lee's career, and asks why he has been pigeonholed as a 'black' director...

here are some actors names that only have to be connected tQ a project for the movie to get funding. Such names are said to be 'money' names: names that will make the movie .financiers queue up to throw money at a project. And yet, as movie 'bombs' like Kevin Costner's The Postman repeatedly prove, this kind of 'buzz' about a project isn't always a blessing. The same system, however, doesn't work with directors. Directors trade on their critical reputation. Actors give up big fees for the chance to work with directors who have the reputation for getting goOd performances out of the performers. Such directors are few and far between though. Martin Scorsese (Goodfe//as, Bringing out the Dead) has a reputation for both critical and commercial success and Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction) has similarly had a taste of both. Another of these 'respected' directors was born in Georgia in 1957 and grew up in the Fort Greene section of Brooklyn, NY. As a child he went by the unassuming name of Shelton Lee, but by the age of 29 Shelton had become Spike, his first feature (She's Gotta Have lt) had won the Prix de Jeunesse at the Cannes Rim Festival and the film community was asking itself where this new phenomenon had come from. Yet Spike Lee was no overnight success. After graduating from Georgia's prestigious Moorehouse College - where he studied mass communication for "lack of a better idea" Lee attended New York University's Tisch School of the Arts, taking a Masters in Rim Production. Nor was She's Gotta Have lt Lee's first critical success. In 1982, whilst still a student at Tisch, his student feature Joe's Bed-Stuy Barbershop: We Cut Heads won the Student Award from the Academy of Motion Pictures. However, in conversation Lee freely admits that this early critical praise initially made him complacent about his future : "I thought that now that I had this plaque on top of my television that Columbia, Warner Bros. Fox, Universal, Spielberg, Lucas, they would call me. So I just sat by the phone and sat by the phone some more. Then the phone got turned off. That's when I decided, I have to try and do it more independently. • Having been unable to commercially raise the money to get his first proposed movie of the ground he eventually "scraped together" $125,000 to make his second, the black and white She's Gotta Have lt, "on a shoestring budget". Three months after its release it had netted $8.5 million and studio bosses were regretting alienating him.

Releasing the commercial -and highly profitable- college satire School Daze as "essentially a fundraising exercise" allowed him to really " find [his) feet as a movie maker" by financing his 1989 hit Do The Right Thing. Do The Right Thing explored racial tensions during a hot summer in Brooklyn and astounded viewers and critics alike with its technical originality, and characteristic controversy, as well as earning Lee an Oscar nomination for Best Original Screenplay. And yet it was at this stage that Lee came to be "politicised" by critics as a "black guerrilla filmmaker". Lee's resentment at being seen reductively as a 'black'

lee came to be 'politicised' as a "black guerilla filmaker" filmmaker is obvious, but equally obvious is his resentment at being seen as being victimised: "I've never really though of myself as a spokesperson for 35 million African Americans... All my views have been solely my own, and I think that there are African American people who agree with me, but we also have African Americans who don't agree ... lt is a ;fallacy that all of my critics are white. • While it is fair {o say that Lee is concerned with re-imaging the portrayal of African Americans in American society, that critics have seen his work as solely concerned with this is unjustified and misguided. Mo' Better Blues and Malcolm X, starring Denzel Washington; Clackers and Get On The Bus have broken down new barriers: but barriers in the portrayal of human characters as real, as flawed; characters "who just happen to be black" as Lee puts it. Admittedly Lee's output has included some flawed movies but that he is still dismissed by some critics is a "black filmmaker" is distinctly troubling. Perhaps, then, it is to address these critics that he set his current movie, Summer of Sam, in the Italian American community of New York during the 1977 'Son of Sam' murders. With words like "genius·, "stunning", "disappointing" , "overlong" and "a rare talent" being bandied about by critics in almost equal numbers it looks like Lee's might have struck gold again. After all, as Lee says, "I'd rather make movies that people talk about; than movies they just watch and forget. "

Part-time Vacancies

Casting Calls Recruitment .centre, Norwich Thursday 20th January Spm - Spm Due to the success of our new multiplex cinema, we are auditioning for part-time Cast Members to join our team in Norwich. If you are en.ergetlc and love working with people - it's a great place to work. UCI Cast Members make sure all our Guests have a terrific time and see m~vies the way they should be seen. You could join this talented cast. You'll be trained in every area from the Ice-cream cafe to the box office, gaining valuable experience and helping develop your career In Guest service. What's more you can work hours to suit and you'll never have to pay to see a movie ag~in ! We are holding a Casting Call at the Employment Service Recruitment Centre, 1 Theatre Street, Norwich on Thursday 20th January from 5pm to Bpm. No appointments necessary · just come along, we'd love to meet you.

the event, wednesday, january·19, 2000

the new millennium has seen a clean out of some of television's most popular soaps. the martins have packed up their removal van in neighbours and been replaced by white t rash. the musgroves have said a final goodbye to the close and rob hawthorn has breathed his last . with many more departures planned for the coming year from eastenders, hollyoaks and neighbours it only remains to be seen how these characters are written out. adam chapman gives a few suggestions...

fire and brimstone:

r----

the deep blue yonder:

The regularity with which characters are dismissed through barbecuing is frightening. One has to wonder whether the producers of these shows are aspiring pyromaniacs in their spare time or at the very least hold a rather strong grudge against British Gas, the explosion being a favourite way of killing off characters. it is the great soap cull. The recent flaying alive of Rob Hawthorn in Hollyoaks on New Year's Eve being a very good example and a bloody entertaining way of bumping off probably one of the hammiest actors in the world. However, a decent explosion usually involves spending half the show's annual budget on expensive looking fire. Who can forget the gas leak at the Waterhole in Neighbours, the Emmerdale plane crash or the explosion in Brookside. Indeed, the residents of the country's most unlucky cui-de-sac hold the record of suffering two explosions in less than a year, killing off Daddy Shadwick while engaged in a soft-porn shower sesh with Susanna when a bomb went off. Not one death but two when the building collapsed on top of his miserable son (ha!). Luckily neither actor has been spotted since. Sadly, though, the explosion is usually a desperate attempt to boost ratings by killing off some of the less talented actqrs (let's face it, Brookside has seen much better days). Case in point: Channel 5 's often maligned attempt at a soap, Family Affairs they managed to eviscerate an entire family in one massive gas leak - at a wedding celebration no less. Mass murder on a grand scale... who needs eastern European dictators when you have television producers to do it for you.

Neighbours and Home and Away are the worst for this, displaying a total lack of imagination. Most recently the Martins (Phil, Ruth and spawn of the devil Hannah) have left Ramsay Street for Darwin. Before them we've had departures to Adelaide, Perth, Brisbane and if someone wants to get really far away, they head for that rather large continent, Europe. Mrs Mangle actually moved house to the charming Hertfordshire town of St Albans where our own Event editor resides. This caused much excitement at his primary school, but alas the old witch was never seen, thus ending the fond illusion that soaps actually are real. Only Marilyn from Home and Away seems to have got a good deal. The producers wrote in a storyline concerning her child getting cancer just so she could escape back to the UK to spend time with her fiancee Matthew Le Tisser (poor bloke). Our home-grown efforts, however, are slightly less Insular in where they send their characters, with Eastenders sencing folk off to America, Spain, South Africa and Rio. Admittedly 1his isn't always the case; Carol Jackson got carted off to the exotic beaches of Clapham and Biancaaaa ended up in sunny Manches1aaaa while most of Brookside end up dead, which, if you're good, means Heaven, so I guess it's the soap with the best destination.

bore the audience to death: disease: The best example of disease related demise is once again provided by our friends in the north (Brookside) which seems to have been suffering from the slowest death of any soap opera ever, producing some of the most laughable story-lines of recent years. In another deeply unconvincing attempt at drama the residents found themselves quarantined after a deadly virus broke out in The Close. The unknown disease kills some posh old lady who had just realised her husband was a bit of a disappointment after about 100 years of marriage and decided she was actually a lesbian (Brookside being one of those soaps that thrives on it's ability to deal sensibly with social issues). The only thing missing from the programme was Dustin Hoffman, a helicopter and a monkey. One can only hope that Mark Fowler, in Eastenders, will be the next to croak it. I'm sorry, but does anyone else find him to be the most miserable character ever, and by Eastenders standards that really is something. I know he is HIV positive and his first wife died. And I know his second wife, Roof, turned out to be well, shall we say, a little bit dull and got pregnant by some Irish blokey. And now the woman he loves, the wonderfully wet Usa, prefers the company of Phil (the missing link) Mitchell, but he seems to be suffering from a terminal case of personality deficit disorder. Die soon... please.

Sarah in Neighbours left earlier last year, obviously sick of the make-up artist drawing her lips about an inch above her actual lip line ever) episode. The dreadful Musgrove family has just left Brookside to go back to Ireland (there is a God). And who can forget the most fatuous couple in the wor1d, Fat Tony Hills and Simon "There's no such thing as a bisexual Ton( Raymond who were sent off backpac~ing after a reconciliation in the romantic confines of the launderette (as exotic as Eastenders gets I'm afraid). Last but not least we have Susan Rose (Maffew's mum) who suddenly developed MS and then moved away. She was so miserable she didn't even visit her son when he got banged up for killi~ the wonderful Saskia. You may have spotted a trend here, in that all the above characters were well past their sell-by-date and were beginning to try our pa:ience. What may have begun as an opportunity ripe for the picking often ends in the scriptwriter writing the character irto a corner, and so they get involved in a fairly dull plot and leave. And the world, quelle surprise, keeps on turning... (Nice to see that bible basher Sarah Hills and the ferret that lived above her eyes hasn't been saen for quite a while).

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

killer cars: How many people die every year in car accidents? Proportionately, not half as many as in soaps. Fat Cheryl and her Big Ginger Wig got hit by a car in Neighbours. As did Tifanneee, on New Year's Eve no less, having almost broken her neck falling down the stairs... talk about cruel. No less cruel was what she went on to do after leaving the Square. Terrorise the nation's masses by making regular appearances on lOp of the Pops singing about her "perfect moment wif you". That's revenge for being so cruelly treated in Eastenders. However, the prize for the most traumatic death has to go to Daphne in Neighbours who stayed in a coma for a couple of weeks and never regained consciousness. I was scarred for the rest of my childhood. Really.

come back as someone else A favourite of Australian soaps (Cheryl, Pippa and Bever1y to name but three). What happens if an actor, tired of the wobbly sets and the unsuccessful attempts at injecting comedy into the programme (Doesn't anyone in Neighbours realise that Harold just isn't funny?) wants to leave but their character is rather integral (?) to the show? Easy. Find a new actor to play the part. The fact that they look nothing like the original is entirely redundant. Neighbours' Lucy Robinson v.ent through three different "looks" before the character finaUy left the show: prepubescent brunette with very bad teeth to fat brunette with whiny voice to big breasted blonde. This seems to be a particular1y barbaric way of getting rid of young actors. Child actors are rarely chosen for their looks, but, after a prolonged period in a so~ the producers notice that the child isn't exactly genetically blessed. A day trip to the Sylvia Young Theatre School (for precocious little brats with very little else going for them) et voila a replacement is found. Take Martin (silent 't') Fowler or Janine (permanent PMS) Butcher. The fruit of Arthur and P:luline's loins (a lovely thought I know... apologes if I've put you off your food) managed the rare feat of being largely autistic for his first twelve years on the programme. One day Martin came back from one of his many trips to the bathroom to wash his hands for his tea having grown about a foot in height, a rather annoying smirk, a puffajacket and, bizarrely enough, a completely different face. And thus began Walford's one man crime spree. A bit like a James Bond film really, only without the bikinis. Pauline Fowler in a bikini? Yum.

you're going down: (not literally of course, fellatio not being a particularly prevalent plot twist in pre-watershed television): I mean, of course, going to jail, a story-line which is currently a favourite for stars who want a little bit of a break from the trials of not having a proper job. Get banged up for a crime you didn't commit {that old chestnut) and get released a couple of months later nice and refreshed from a holiday in the Balearics. While this proved okay for the likes of Maffew and Steve in Eastenders some don't manage to get it so easy. Cindy went to jail for trying to kill lan (an act I think we can all empathise with) and was only heard of again when she died unceremoniously in child birth. So did Anna Friel as Beth Jordache, when she decided that she didn't really want to return to the patio where she buried her father, but would rather pursue a career of making average films and hanging out in the Met Bar with Kate and Meg. it's amazing, however, how many characters don't get sent daaaan (sorry, am getting a bit carried away pretending to be Cockney). Grant Mitchell got away with pretty much anything under the sun until Tifannneeeee fell down the stairs (which wasn't even his fault). Similarly, Pat and her disturbing habit for wearing left-over Christmas decorations as earrings. The pair she was wearing the other day looked like they had been stolen from the set of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves. Someone call the fashion police... now.

reincarnation: Wouldn't it be nice if when people died they actually didn't? No. Next time you're favourite aunt dies check that she actually is dead, because if soaps are anything to go by she'll return in four to five years time .as a rather annoying amnesiac in a Salvation Army shop. Sound familiar? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Harold Bishop, and perhaps the most ridiculous come-back in television history. Swept off the rocks five years previously while on holiday with Madge (who I still hold is just a very bad drag act) but not to meet a watery end as we were led to believe, oh no. Instead he survived, went to England just in time for the Panto season, made a bit of money and then faded into obscurity. And then, as the ratings began to fall, the execs at Grundy television decided that Harold didn't really die. No, the tedious police search and hours of episodes containing nothing but Madge weeping (rather like a bullfrog with a serious nicotine habit) were but a waste of time. Harold had not really died. Instead he had been picked up by a boat and taken to some place and then met some woman and then ... my mind wanders as I recall the rather dull details, but needless t o say, Harold lives on. The Americans have gone one step better, though. Having written Bobby Ewing out of Dallas, the television company soon realised that they had made a big mistake. So what did they do? They went for the ultimate cop-out. Bobby's wife Pam woke up, and realised that it had all been a dream, and that he had not actually died but was in the next room having a shower. Such is life, I suppose.

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

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inspected: music

singles:

albums: angie stone black diamond

has a funky hip-hop feel to it and is sure to make a big impression on the charts. And Trouble Man is Nina Simone does r&b. 'If these two cuts sound appealing, buy Macy Gray's album instead as it has a lot more spirit to it. However, if you love Mary J., treat yourself to a Black Diamond, and you won't be Martin Brock disappointed.

When somebody substitutes '4' for 'for' or 'fore' in their writings and freely praises God in the inlay, then experience leads us to expect a certain sound. Especially if said artist has written songs for D'Angelo and Mary J. Blige. lt would be really nice to be proved wrong, to insert the CD and hear · something along the lines of PJ Harvey instead, but this is not the case. The sound is smoother than a seal's skin and will have Trevor Nelson at Radio One and r&b fans throughout Britain wetting their pants lt starts with a child instructing us to "kill all in excitement. For the discerning amongst us hippies". lt ends with the guitar-heavy, Ride-esque chanting of Shoot Speed Kill Light. Between these though, there are only a couple of moments of respite. First single Life Story (released late March) two is an album seething with anger against - - - - - - - - - - - - , corruption, social leaders and, seemingly, sometimes even against the band itself. As last year's single, Swastika Eyes demonstrated, Primal Scream have turned their backs on the blissed-out hedonism that characterised Screamadelica and

primal scream exterminator

Give Out But Don't Give Up in favour of railing against social injustices. Fortunately though, this doesn't mean they've turned into the UK Rage Against The Machine they may be angry, but they've still got an ear for melody. That's not to say there

•

Ho ho ho, and a Happy New Millennium to you. In a rare moment of spontaneity, we've decided not to bother with a live review this issue. Exciting, eh? No, you're right, it's not exciting at all. Anyway, (cough),as all has been fairly quiet on the gig front since, oh, about mid-December, it seems appropriate to use this space to write about what's going to happen in the near future. To be truthful, the gigs listings don't look particularly crowded at the moment, certainly not in comparison with last semester, but hey, it's early days yet, so with any luck more acts will be booked soon and then we . can all go out and spend far too much money on going to see them. The biggest gig of this term is likely to be Primal Scream, when they grace the LCR with their presence on March 10, so why not turn up; it" the gig sells out then maybe the powers that be will see the wisdom in booking similar acts in the future. There's the now annual NME Carling Premier Tour arriving on January 29. The four acts playing are indie boys Coldplay, politicised indie boys Campag Velocet, Liverpudlian troubadours Shack and wannabe 80's rejects Les Rythmes Digitales. Admittedly, the line up isn't looking as great as it

has done in previous years, but hell, it beats Thunder, who don't appear to be playing here this term. Neither do Bjorn Again or the Illegal Eagles, which is a reason to sleep more soundly at night. The Waterfront's got Moby (February 8), Embrace (January 26),and the Wannadies (February 29 - nice to know the extra day is being put to good use), as well as all the usual club nights and things. Elsewhere in Norwich, there's more stuff to look forward to. Such as, for example, the reopening of a fully renovated Fat Pauly's, relieved of its previously somewhat seedy decor and offering delights to the ear which they don't seem to have finalised yet, but they will be collaborating with Deviant Society and Contemporary Music Society which is surely a gqod thing. Mojo"s has branched out a bit too. No longer is it merelY content to offer top notch club nights, but it's also playing host to bands every other Monday night. Next up are Schemer, on January 24, to be followed on the 31 by Bellatrix and Crashland. Lovers of little indie bands will be pleased to know that Mojo's gigs are likely to become weekly events from February onwards.

c ean rnfLe .,:attte "A hundred thousand welcomes"

• • FREEHOUSE • ~&ln m tl e -J=aflt:i eta 10 real ales always available eta Probably the largest selection of Irish eta eta eta eta

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aren't weak points. One is the inclusion of two versions of SWastika Eyes, which, although not deserving of the critical kicking it received when released, is not really worth hearing twice in two very similar mixes. Another is the track Pills which deteriorates into an inarticulate dirge, Gillespie shouting "F**k, f**k" at no one in particular. Small criticisms though, of an album that sees the Scream firmly back on the map. The perfect start to a new decade. Darcy Hurford

horace andy living in the flood

i5 e.

The second album from 'Sleepy' - the man who helped give Massive Attack their sound. His soaring vocals have been part of their music since 1990, and his influence has been a valuable contribution. But be warned; if you like Massive Attack, and buy this on the strength of his work with them, you may be in for a shock. This is reggae, and no mistake. Reminiscent of early Bob Marley and even Lee Perry (who were Andy's mentors in his Jamaican home and partly responsible for his first album, Skylarking), the songs are varied - from the electronic back beats of Johnny Too Bad, to the dare I say it- UB40-esque Girl Of My Dreams. The fact of the matter is, unfortunately, that it has all been done before. To be fair, it's very accomplished - reggae by nature leaves less scope for innovation for other genres do, but nevertheless, there's nothing fresh here. One for true fans only. Jon Nice

Bom Again is being misleadingly marketed as a posthumous Biggie album. This is a lie. True, there is unreleased material here, but 30 artists collaborated after Biggie's death to complete this album. While large-scale collaborations are increasingly common, it is unfortunately obvious that here this was by necessity, not choice. Only two tracks out of 19 are solely Biggie. Indeed, on Junior M.A.F.I.A's track we here Biggie's voice oniy tive times, each time a 12 second repeated rap sample. For this Puff Daddy (the producer) gives Junior M.A.F.I.A. 'featuring' status behind Biggie. Puff Daddy's shameless self-promotion on this 'tribute' to his dead friend is particularly tasteless: listing himself above artists like Nas, Busta, and Ul' Kim. If only Biggie was still around to slap Puffy off the mike and back into the producer's box where he belongs. That being said, this is a reasonable if occasionally flawed album. Rap fans will enjoy the collaborations with Ice Cube, Missy, but Biggie purists sh~uld stick to his Bom To Die album. Kris Siefken

5chart 01 02 03 04 05 06 07

TRAVIS

the man who

also released: should have been released during the summer where its romantic lyrics and irresistible hook-line would have been appreciated ·a little more. Instead it's available to buy in coldest January but should create a warm Readybrek glow on whoever listens to it. Mlchael Cimino

oasis

go let it out Oasis are possibly the best band ever, and they prove it with their fantastically orgasmic record Go Let lt Out. Single of the millennium, and so early what a disappointment, when's the climax going to be? Uam and Noel make you wonder what the fuss about those mop topped sixties boys was all about. Excellent, you must buy this record . Brett Ullshite

utah saints this is my love song The new release from the 'band' who once filled stadiums in the USA begins in an obvious clubfriendly manner and proceeds to attempt to outUnderworld Underworld in an effort to capture millennium 'cool'. Unfortunately it fails miserably and its simple repetitiveness soon begins to grate. Pretty damn awful. Matt Gamer

SHANIA TWAIN

come on over MACYGRAY

on how life is WESTLIFE

west life Britney Spears baby one more time S CLUB7

s club STEREOPHONICS

performance and cocktails THECORRS

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000 .

lt seems that this latest release by the best band ever to have some out of Wales has moved up a notch. Speedy, catchy and wacky lyrics • not sure about Gruff's confessed love of tomatoes though! it has all the ingredients for the making of a top class Super Furry's song, so go out and buy it. Amanda Perkins

mint royale & lauren laverne notorious b.i.g don't falter born again This lovely, sweet-hearted, melodic song really

OS forgiven not forgotten O'Bourke himself

super furry animals do or die

CELINE DION

ABBA gold

all the way..a decade of song

live the dolphin's cry "Melodic rock bands, sir? Dime a dozen!". Or so it seems in the USA. Fortunately, Live rise above the glaringly average dross which keeps record company executives in suits with this sweeping and classy offering which compares favourably with the likes of Skunk Anansie. Live forever, choose Live, etc... Anthony Love//

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ins ected: film

dogma starring:

released: showing at:

matt damon ben affleck linda fiorentino alan rickman salma hayek out now uci riverside

You will no doubt have heard about Dogma from coverage of the wonderfully hysterical reaction 1t has caused in America . Blasphemous is one of the less extreme words that has been thrown at Kevin Smith 's comedy about two renegade angels (Damon and Affieck), banished to earth for centuries, who try to re-enter Heaven, an act wh1ch could have calamitous consequences for the rest of mankmd. Linda Fiorentino plays Bethany, a woman suffering crisis of fa1th. She 1s vis1ted by God's messenger Metatron (Aian Rickman ) and told that only she can save humanity by stopping them. So far so preposterous, but here lies the point. Dogma, like relig1on Itself, is so far-fetched as to be enjoyable. And while it has found much cnticism from the Catholic Church for being ungodly (FiorentJno's character works in an abort1on centre) Dogma manages not to deconstruct religion but to reinterpret it, albeit in a totally unconventional way. There is nothing actually offensive in the film, mdeed many of the concepts are quite old-hat. God is a woman (60s feminism) and Jesus was black (how quaint). Luckily, though, Smith deals with these ideas in a light-handed way, never rammmg them down the audience's throat but passing over them lightly w1th a deft comedic touch. it begs me to question whethe r, like most would-be censors (those bastions of tolerance the American relig1ous

lobbyists), Dogma 's critics have not paid the ticket price and actually seen 1t. Which is a shame, for what we have here is a film of remarkable wit with stars aplenty. Damon and Affleck, whether or not you like their particular brand of buddy buddy acting, are very effective in their respective roles. Gone are the angels of Charlton Heston's heyday, mstead replaced by some mean bastards intent on a killing spree before they return to Heaven . Similarly F1orentino, who has not had a better role since The Last Seduction which, with a cast of th1s ca libre, is no mean feat. One can only imagine who would have been cast had this been a big studio film. Sandra Bullock? Julia Roberts? God knows. Speakmg of God, she bears a striking resemblance to a certam Canad1an 'singer' fond of airing her various neuroses in public. Yes, lad1es and gentlemen, for those of you who haven't seen God (and there are a fair few) she is, in fact, Alanis Morrissette. This IS testament to Dogma's ability as a piece of entertainment 1n that she doesn't bring the film crash1ng down around 1ts ears. The reason? Morrissette 1sn 't even g1ven a chance to speak, so 1f this is the reason you have been using for not seeing Dogma then th1nk aga1n. In fact. she is actually rather effective. Divine intervention? Who knows? Adam Chapman

american beauty starring:

released: showing at:

kevin spacey annette bening thora birch january 24th uci riverside

Every once 1n a while there comes a film that transcends its medium and ceases to be a film at all, and mstead exists as not only a work of art but also as some kind of spmtual experience. These films are an extreme ranty, often 1gnored by audiences and multiplexes alike yet are treasured by the few that do see them; films like The Thin Red Line, The Shawshank Redemption and The Graduate. American Beauty deserves to be counted with these films, and has also managed to unshackle 1tself from certain box office doom by garnering some of the best reviews in recent memory. As a result Sam Mendes' directorial screen debut has notched up a very healthy seventy million dollar haul in the U.S. alone. A figure that could poss1bly top the $100 million mark 1f 1t tnumphs at thiS years Academy Awards. a prospect that seems entirely likely. Kev1n Spacey headlines a wonderful ensemble cast

that also Includes Annette Ben1ng, Lone Star's Chns Cooper, Thora Birch and the incandescent Mena Suvan 1n a Joyously complicated story that centres on Kevin Spacey's desperate attempts to climb up from the emoliOnally bankrupt p1t of h1s life and recla1m his happmess. Of course that is JUSt one thread of thiS nch tapestry but to detail the plot 1n 1ts entirety would be to spo11 the surprise (as so many reviews tend to do) and would also take more words than this page contains. American Beauty has been likened to Todd Slondz's 1999 film Happiness. it IS true that both films attempt to deconstruct the mores of m1ddle Amenca but whereas Happiness was a cynical movie revellmg in its ability to make the viewer uncomfortable, American Beauty IS a lyncal JOurney through the rehabilitation of a man's soul. it 1s a warm, po1gnant experience that IS both h1lanous and

tragic. The film 1s also a v1sual extravaganza, yet 1t does not have to resort to garish special effects. Instead gorgeously obv1ous 1mages are framed w1th subtlety, the most notable example being a sequence where Spacey lies 1n bed as a single rose petal gently floats from somewhere above him onto h1s face. That s1ngle petal IS JOined by dozens more and soon Spacey lies. literally, on a bed of roses. The whole sequence IS filmed at half pace, but not QUite slow mot1on, wh1ch g1ves the scene a surreal almost fa1ry tale like quality. D1rector Mendes. who pnor to th1s was best known for directing Nicole Kidman 1n the stage play The Blue Room, clearly deserves the credit for 1mbumg the dialogue 1ntens1ve action with a unique visual fla1r. However a spec1al ment1on must go to Annette Ben1ng who, 1n her performance as Spacey's emotionally crumbling Wife, looks likely to g1ve N1cole K1dman a run for her money comes Oscar

.,路'.; 2

mystery men

J<>i

starring:

released: showing:

time yet th1s is Spacey's film. Some may argue that Spacey merely plays the same character again and again but 1f you're type cast as a multi-layered, emot1onally complex, deeply flawed mdiv1dual, soaked in charisma who is as comfortable spout1ng page after page of d1alogue at a single time as you are handlmg phys1cal act1ng, then you must be , doing something nght. And here Spacey runs the gambit allowing every emot1on 1nto h1s performance with what appears as gratuitous ease. H1s is a truly hypnotic performance even 1f he 1s very nearly upstaged by a dancing plastiC bag. Although that sounds qu1te Irreverent 1t IS true to say that a plastic bag gives one of the most touching moments in film h1story. We need more films like this to be made, but if there IS noth1ng like 1t made again at least we've got A/ex McGregor this one.

greg kinnear ben stiller william h macy out now uci riverside

When Champ1on City's super-hero Capta1n Amaz1ng (Greg Kmnear) gets captured by Casanova Frankenstein (Geoftrey Rush) it is left up to Roy (Ben St1ller), Jeftrey (Hank Azana) and Edd1e (a nghtly embarrassed look1ng W1lliam H. Macy). a tno of blue-collar workers with not so special talents. to save the day. Roy turns 1nto Mr Funous (he gets angry), Jeftrey 1nto the Blue Rajah (throws forks) and Edd1e becomes The Shoveller (he hits people w1th a spade). All very amus1ng I'm sure. Perhaps I m1ssed the po1nt, but 1t IS very rare that I feel the urge to walk out of a film half way through and I feel utter pa1n when I think of the "'expenence "'. Wh1le

amusing (and I use the term extremely loosely) in parts, the film, Initially at least, does work as a parody of the genre as a whole but ends up turn1ng 1nto exactly the type of mov1e 1t 1s supposed to be sat1nsing. Part1al redemption comes 1n the shape of Janeane Garofalo as The Bowler (You w1ll have not1ced a trend here ... she bowls) but apart from this, everyone mvolved should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves and go back to makiing proper films. A definite no go area people . Under no circumstances touch this w1th a barge pole. Not even a special Mr Bargepole type one. Adam Chapman

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

the

•

InS

review: book

preview: ballet

faster james gleick

st petersburg ballet norwich theatre royal

When you pick up Faster by James Gleick it looks like a novel. Until , that is, you notice the sub-clause of the title: The accele ration of just about everything. Yet, the success of making a science

acceleration ot just about

book so visually appeal ing is nothing compa red to the talent demonstrated wi thin. This exciting and accessible book examines a subject we all ta ke for granted : time. We never th ink about it and yet, as Gleick notes, it "ru les our lives ". We eat microwave dinners to 'save ' ti me; invent exc uses to 'buy' time and move appointments around our diaries to 'make' time; time that we then 'spend' doing something else. This speed in our experience of time is, Gleick says, the one unifying experience we all have in common. We are a generation of multi taskers: eating two minute Pop-tarts for breakfast while watching the news and making a quick phone call at the same time. We all try to do more and more in every minute. lt is such an accepted part of our lives that it is a shock when Gleick asks simply, "Why?" Gleick traces the 'acceleration' of our western cu ltu re through fascina ting tri ps into science, philosophy, history and our "ridiculous" obsession with statistics: "the average American spends four minutes and 18 seconds a day havi ng sex and four minutes and 23 seconds filling in forms" being just one example. lt is a sign of Gleick's skill that Faster reads like a novel while discussing science, life and the way we live. Ironically, because rt is so well written , th is is not a book you will have to pore over to enJoy, the pages turn with startling regularity. Yet for those eight page-turning hours I drdn 't multitask once, and, just perhaps, that was Gleick's aim all along. Absorbing. Kris Siefken

review: theatre six characters in search of an author third year drama students uea In this, arguably Luigi Pirandello's most fa mous and certainly most paradoxical play, the third year drama students have admirably produced an innovative and accessible, if flawed , production . The production clearly displayed a great understanding of the text, evident through the dense imagery garnered th rough the visual design. lt also presented the audience with a number of staggeri ngly attractive performances. The plot, stripped to its naked bones, conce rns a troupe of actors rehearsing a play. Suddenly they are confronted by a number of ghoulish figures who claim themselves to be characte rs from a hitherto unwritten script. These characters proceed to, as it were , play out their story, which is not dissimilar to a Greek tragedy. The problem with Pirandello's script is that the author is clearly enamoured with the role of an author considering, it seems, the playwright's words to be gospel. Indeed, at one point one of the 'characters' berates one of the 'actors ' for not being able, however hard he may endeavour, to actually perform a role with any accuracy. lt is this disregard for the theatre as a collaborative medium that Pirandello ostensibly possess, th at makes it di ffi cu lt for the audience to sympathise with the 'characters ' plight. Th is was not helped by And rew Smalley·s performance as 'father' . who as the main exponent of the 'cha racters · tale is given the burden of carrying their story to the audrence. His was a

event

ected: arts

decidedly one note performance, and although that note was hit with distinction , by the end of the play his frantic gestures and desperate pleading did become a little tiring. The direction from Ra lph Yarrow did not assist matters. The pacing of the play was stilted and the director must assume responsibility for a couple of casting fau x pas, wh ich led directly to on e wretched performance in a key role of 'son '. Nevertheless, this production was saved, and saved it was, by the th ird year drama students themselves. The spectacular opening of the play illustrated th e chemistry between the cast and their undoubted ability as natura listic actors. Indeed , the most memorable moments came from the improvised one-liners. Eleanor Green's "Be careful , that's our stuff" being one of the fi nest and Ash Verjee 's occasional piano accompaniments added an almost Danny Elfman-like fairy tale atmosphere to the proceedings. A special mention must go to Laura Glover whose performance as 'step-daughter' brought shivers to the audience as her character's initial sexual malevol ence cracked into tragedy. A commendation must also go to Jenny Fellows who as the 'director' anchors the play in reality but also provides a number of excellent comic asides. A brave and stylish productron which survives its flaws to give the audience an rntelligent, gently amusing yet slightly unnerving expenence. A/ex M cGregor

the event , wednesday, january ,19, 2000

Running from Monday, January 31 to Saturday, February 05 the St Petersburg Ballet is resident at the Theatre Royal, Norwich to perform their highly acclaimed classical ve rsions of Swan Lake and Giselle. Described as "a com pany with style. Classic ballet seems alive and well in thei r competent hands" this promises to be an evening not to be missed and an event not to be forgotten . The St Petersburg Ballet formed in 1994 under the guidance and leadership of Konstantin Tatchkine and herald from the city that is the crad le of Russian classical Ballet with a heritage stretching back to 1738. This young and vibrant company is housed in a nineteenth century mansion built by Tsar Nicholas 11 ; but in addition to performing there, they also travel extensively in va rious western European countries and always to great acclaim . The com pany's set and costumes are hand made and are based on sketches by the Russian painter Viactcheslav Okunev. The company is drawn from the graduates of the Ballet Academy of Vaganova and other leading Russian Ballet schools. lt numbers a total of over 80 dancers and technical staff and often boasts a fifty-piece orchestra. Swan Lake opens with Prince Siegfned celebratrng his twenty-first birthday and being told by his mother that's it's time for him to marry. However, he prefers to go hunting (like any red blooded man surely would) . Alone by a lake he sees a swan turn into a human shape. She is an enchanted princess, Odette, who can only be saved by true love. He promises her his, but is tricked by the evil magician

Von Rothbart who disguises his own daughter Odile as Odette. Heartbroken, Siegfried returns to the lake to beg Odette for forgiveness ; the power of Siegfried's love rescues Odette from Rothbart's power and eventually destroys his evil spell. The Swan maidens are restored to human form and Odette and Siegfried are reunited in eternal happiness. Sorry if that spoils the ending. Giselle, a peasant girl, falls in love with Albrecht, Duke of Silesia who has disguised himself as a peasant hun tsman, Lois (the rich 'eh). Hilarion , a gamekeeper, is also in love with Giselle and he soon fi nds out that Albrecht is the Duke. The whole village ce lebrates the last gathering of the grapes with a festival of danci ng. The Prince of Courland and hrs daughter Bathrlde, who is engaged to Duke Albrecht, ca ll at Giselle's cottage to taste the new wi ne. Hilarion takes this opportunity to reveal to Giselle the true iden tity of Lois and the shock is too great for Gisel le who loses her reason and dies. Giselle becomes part of the supernatural world of Wilts, the sprrits of young girls who have been jilted by faithless lovers. They dance in the moonlight and lure young men into the forest to dance until they fall dead with exhaustion. Oh yes. bet that's what they were up to. Both Hrlarion and Albrecht are caught in the spell of the Wilis. For Hilarion there is no escape but Albrecht is saved by Giselle's deep love for him. Tickets are available from the Theatre Royal Box Office and cost between £4.50 - £23.00 (top A/ex McGregor price).

the

event 18

inspected~videogame video: ten things I hate about you

Now almost twenty years old since its Brat Pack beginnings, the Teen Movie has seen something of a turbulent, complicated adolescence. Since James Dean dragged the first high school stereotype kicking and screaming into the world, the genre has stomped recalcitrantly through the dark years of mullets and Emilio Estevez, and later an off-the-rails phase of Screamalike buddy-chopper movies, where it learned (presumably from listening to Alanis Morissette records) that something called irony could make you look, like, clever? Now, however, our old friend has in true teen style got bored of such immaturities and, at last, appears to have totally come to terms with itself and its, like, nature. For now teen films seem to have stopped trying to be all different by self-consciously drawing attention to the genre, and have accepted that what they do best is serve up big, quivering, tearful helpings of issue-ridden kids (heavy on the angst, hold the murders), sniffling through standard boymeets-girl rites of passage. Rims such as She's All That and now Ten Things I Hate About You look set to see the teen movie come of age as it began. From its wonderfully snotty title to the requisite emotional apocalypse of its final stages Ten

Things ... has all you could want from the genre; love frustrated by internecine youth-group differences, complicated yet likeable caricature-characters, and even a Greasy musical interlude in the obligatory boy serenading girl bit. Loosely based on The . Taming of the Shrew, the plot revolves around the pretty and popular Bianca (Larisa Oleynik), a girl with everything - including an alienated, moody misanthropist of an older sister in the form of Kat (Julia Styles) and a strictly anti-dating father (excellently played by Larry Miller). Bianca, who's never dated anyone and is looking for love, finds herself subject to her father's ruling that she may only date when her sister does - a none too likely prospect considering said sibling's contempt for anything on two legs. What follows is a complicated network of deceit and bribery, instigated by Bianca's wannabe boyfriend Cameron (Joseph Gordon Levitt), which revolves around getting Kat together with the broody Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger). Piling on the standard characters and genre-defining emotional moments, this film provides an enjoyable mix of well-placed set pieces and eye-candy kids that fill out their basically unchallenging roles very well indeed, dude. Uke, totally an OK film? Steve Col/Ins

video: gregory's two girls Also new out to rent in February is Gregory's Two Girls, directed by Bill Forsyth, the man behind the hugely successful Gregory's Girl, and starring anginal lead John Gordon Sinclair in the titte role. One of the most popular British films ever, Gregory's Girl saw a young schoolboy falling madly in love with avid footballer Dee Hepburn, and became widely acclaimed for its funny and compassionate handling of the small-scale disappointments and desires of teenage life. Twenty years on, Greg is still at his old school, this time as an English teacher with a habit of preaching to h1s pupils about the horrors of social injustice, human rights abuses and political corrupt1on. Happy to foist his tortured social conscience upon the generally disinterested denizens of the fifth form without actually doing anything, he finds hiS bluff called when Frances (newcomer early McKinnon), an idealistiC and attractive pupil, reveals to him a scheme she has uncovered involving local businessman and Greg's old schoolfriend Fraser (Dougray Scott), of manufacturing electronic torture instruments and exporting them to the Third World. Encouraged by Francis to practice what he preaches, Gregory finds himself embroiled in a particularly sticky situation

which throws into jeopardy not only his position as a teacher, but also his loyalty to Fraser, while forcing him to resist his attraction to Francis and fend off the vehemently determined advances of fellow teacher and sex fiend Bel (Maria Doyle Kennedy). Considering the popularity of this film's predecessor, 1t does have a fair bit to live up to. But comparisons aside, Bill Forsyth's return to familiar ground after an unsuccessful foray into Hollywood seems to reflect his protagoni9t's inertia . At two hours long th1s romant1c comedy-cum-adventure seems like a film that can 't finish Itself in its attempt to revisit former glones. The plot seems to lack much dnve or certainty of purpose, w1th 1ts conclus1on ultimately hittmg someth1ng of an unsatisfying dead end. What does save the film from dying on its feet, however, IS the strength of the performances all round. Sinclair resurrects h1s title role brilliantly, stuttering and lying his way through the film with a selfeffacing nervousness that avoids bumbling Hugh Grantisms, whilst Carly Mckinnon strikes a perfect balance between a highly principled human rights activist and a na'ively idealistic schoolgirl. With other roles being filled by a well-picked cast, this film makes up 1n performances what it lacks in structure.

game: fifa 2000

Underworld, Gomez, Supergrass, nn nn Out, Placebo, Robbie Williams, Alice Deejay. Not a bad line up by anyone's standards. So when you consider that these acts are all on the Rfa 2000 album, you get some kind of idea as to the effort employed in the promotion of this latest 'FIFA' edition . Having found a winning formula in the previous six outings as far as gameplay goes, EA Sports have obviously put the1r energ1es 1nto producing an original image this time around. The introduction sequence ranks easily alongside those of Ridge Racer Type 4, and Tomb Raider, wh1le the appearance of Robbie W1lliams - keep a close eye, he doesn't stay long - gives the titles an edge not expected 1n the sportmg genre of Playstation games (Robbie fans might like to note that h1s presence IS the result of bemg 'cyberscanned' into the game). That's not to say that Playstat1on haven't made improvements with '2000 though . To the untrained eye the differences between FIFA 2000 and '99 during the actual game are about as great as, well, those between FIFA '97 and '98, and '95 to '96. After all why change something that has proved so popular? If you're an avid FIFA fan however, there are plenty

of little differences that make the game somewhat more enjoyable than the last instalment. The players react faster to your controls, there's the new and highly effective keeper lunge that finally gives some kind of keeper control, and the introduction of a shielding ability tbat all add to the continually improving realism of the game. Greater opportunities are also given to score better goals from further out, although not yet harking back to FIFA '95 and the shenanigans of goals from the halfway line. The frustratmg 'keeper fumble, oops it's a goal' element which blemished FIFA '99 has been wisely eliminated, while the option of employing career threatening fouls has thankfully not. Those of you who were frustrated at the limitations of '99 Will be pleased to see that seasons can now be continued beyond the first, and that a new 'classic teams' sect1on has been added. For the official line on the changes made to this game the back of the case will tell you - MORE TEAMS! MORE LEAGUES! - While for most previous owners of FIFA the appeal will purely lie in a change of commentary that contains few cows' backsides, and Matty Reed even fewer banjos.

game: no fear downhill mountain biking There are many splendid things to do in this fine city of ours, but most of . them do not involve hills. Obviously there's that big one just outside Waveney, which has for years been the destination for many a late-night first year pilgrimage, yet by and large Norwich is as flat as a really flat thing, almost like a pancake. Whilst this may be seen as a good thing to those who merely see hills as obstacles, some people think that going down them can be a cheap source of great fun, such as on a sledge, or a bike. But where the kids have fun there is money to be made, and big hairy capitalist corporations like EASports are out to do just that. Thankfully, though, they've made rather a good game to keep you indoors instead of breaking your neck, called No Fear Downhill Mountain Biking. Without going into too much unnecessary explanation, the gist of it is to hurtle down vanous treacherous near-vertical courses and get to the end before your opponent. On the way you can do all sorts of flash tricks and jumps, which providing you don't stack it raises a hearty cheer from the trackside crowds: the tabletop, superman, suicide and of course the

classic wheelie are all available to the nimble of finger and the long of patience, serving to add interest to the races and make you feel pretty damn cool. On the down side mastering some of the more intricate moves can be a little difficult, and if you value your thumbs it's probably better to just bomb it down to the end without trying to impress anyone. On the whole, though, the game seems to be intended more for gruelling, honest, blood n'sweat racing than showing off. Your bike handles pretty realistically (that's if I can actually remember how to ride one), with the emphasis more on striking a balance between going as fast as you can and getting completely knackered than simply pelting it. The gameplay is surprisingly fast paced, too - what could easily have seemed like a slow tootle round the park on your push bike turns out to be something of a death charge through the most unfrLendly terrain possible, with your hapless rider panting away and going "oof" a lot. Good gameplay, lastability, nice graphics. The best b1ke game since Paperboy. Twiggy Flatt

â&#x20AC;˘

w1n w1n w1n

Two lucky readers can walk away with the most revealing X trlles video to date, Blogenlus, combining three episodes In one feature length show 1t Is available to buy from twentieth century fox on February 7th. But lt can be yours for free If you answer this simple question. What Is Scully's first name? Answers In the competition box In the Hive or the Concrete office ....

the event , wednesday, january 19, 2000

the

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inspected: tv

e se fal tv: soaps I thought that the Christmas holidays were going to be nice and relaxing but it has been hectic just keeping up with what has been going on in Albert Square. lan Beale did not have a very happy new year, but that's what happens when you're a naughty man.However, you can't keep a bad man down and lan is soon back to hts ruthless tricks. This time he ts planntng revenge on Melanie for the pain she has put him through but it seems that lan's misery mtght be short-ltved as Hannah Waterman jotns the cast next month as lan's childrens' new nanny, Laura Dunn . Let's JUSt hope that she treats them a bit better than lan has recently. lt seems that Lisa Shaw can't realize when she's on to a bad thing. Desptte having put up with Phil's alcoholic antics and the return of Kathy, she sttll thtnks that no other man will do. Ltsa has been offered an exctting new JOb away from Walford, but she does not want to leave Phtl , so

in an effort to get some response she tells him about the JOb hoping that he will beg her to stay. No such luck as Phil encourages her to take it. lt seems that Mr Mitchell ts determined to be Albert Square's resident bachelor. Ever stnce appearing on the show Steve Owen has had a thing about blondes. First Saskia, then Melante and now ... Sam! What wtll his business partner Beppe think about that? If there are any Joe Absolom fans out there you had better get your last look, as Matthew Rose ts to be making a dramatic exit at the beginning of February. Although his career in Eastenders has been short ltved tt was definttely interesting. He has certatnly been a rose amidst the thorns! 路 lt seems that ex-lovers are popptng up everywhere and Coronation Street is no exceptton. Dev Alahan comes face to face with his when a woman named Amy turns up tn the shop claimtng that she ts pregnant wtth his chtld. Although

Dev tells her he wants nothing to do with her, Amy plans to sttck around and takes a job in the Rovers - now I'm sure I've heard th is storyline somewhere else before ... urn f astenders perhaps? Alison is also pregnant with Kevtn Webster's chtld . Only days after findtng this out Kevin proposes, but will she say yes or no? Platt the rat is seen carrytng on hts affair with colleague Rebecca Hopktns. The ten yea r gap between Martin and Gail is finally taking its toll, or maybe Martin is finally fed up with Gall's kids and her constant whintng and wants to have some fun. Who could blame him! And finally, a brief Neighbours update. The Martins: Gone. New replacements: the Scu llys. Felicity Scully: new Ramsey street fox. Stephante Scully: clamptng her sights on poor old Drew. Better watch out there, then, Ltbby. Jilted Btll: still sulky. Joel and Natalie's relationship: knackered. Hurrah! lmogen Dyckhoff

e 路al tv: 02 that peter kay thing

:0 essenti the x-files

c4 bbc 1

wednesdays 22:30 Poor Mulder. Old droopy-eyes seems to be tn for a rather rough ttme of it in the new series of the X-Files, which ktcked off last week wtth Drive, wheretn he had hts car hijacked by a mysterious armed man. Nasty as that expenence no doubt was , nothing could prepare our Fox for the impendtng troubles of tontght's (Wednesday 19th) episode Triangle. While he does get to snog someone who looks remarkably ltke Scully - albett a Scully from another time/space dtmenston - he also ends up in a nght pickle in the Bermuda Trtangle, with the fate of the whole world resttng tn hts hands. Doh! Out on a qutet dtnghy trtp tn the mtddle of the Sargasso sea (?), our hero gets caught tn a storm, thrown rnto the water, and then fished out and put aboard an English luxury liner which disappeared dunng World War Two. The ensuing hoo-ha tnvolves some ttme-warped Nazts who want to blow everythtng up and a desperate one-man struggle to save humantty. Cor. Further on this senes, tn Dream/and (next week), Mulder ts no sooner back on dry

land than he's had his body swttched with someone who works tnstde the notonous Area 51, where aliens ltve. Will he get close to the truth? Then, tn The Rain King (scheduled for February 16). our hero nearly meets a rather undigntfied end when he gets hit tn the face by a fiying cow, and tn Agua Mala (March 29) his life tS agatn th reatened when he gets attacked by a monstrous octopus. Most people would have handed tn thetr nottce by now, but not this agent, oh no. In fact even when the treacherous Scully trtes to kill htm tn How the Ghosts Stole Christmas (although to be fatr he trtes to ktll her too, and tt was the ghosts that made them do tt anyvvay), and he gets repeatedly shot and blown up tn a time-warped bank robbery (Monday, Apnl 5), our hero persists tn doggedly pursutng the Truth. What a trooper. Other senes htghltghts tnclude Scully coming face to face wtth one Mr G Reaper htmself (Tithonius, March 1), a demontc couple who like burying thetr unborn babtes in the garden (Terms of Endearment, Feb 9), and the senes路 concludtng cltff-hanger Btogenests (whtch you can win tn thts issue of the Event), in whtch metalltc objects found tn Africa lead our agents to believe that mankind ts tn fact descended from aliens. Bltmey.

wednesdays 22.30 The fly-on-the-wall documentary is perhaps one of the nasttest things to have crept rnto late ntnettes television programming, throwing up l1undreds of 'overn ight stars' with crap personaltttes and even crapper jobs. As a result they've become prime targets for some pretty good mockumentary spoofs (stand up Armstrong and Miller) the latest of whtch comes in the form of comedian Peter Kay's new stx-part senes set tn and around lovely Bolton. Playtng a tota l of fifteen characters throughout the series, his run ktcked off last week wtth The Club, a well-obseNed docu-soap showtng the dramattc run-up to the Talent Trek Ftnal at the Neptune Social Club. Carefully and sensittvely dramatiztng the dreams and disappointments of vanous tragtc cabaret acts, the show's humour treads the Alan Partridge route of absurdly pathettc, subtly

amusing characters, most of whom are played by Kay htmself. Tontght's eptsode (Wednesday 19) sees similar troubles at the Apollo Btngo Hall, while future characters tnclude Mr Softy Top, the fiercely competttive tce-cream man determtned to get to the top of his dog-eat-dog bustness; Leonard de Thompkinson, Bntatn 's oldest seNing paperboy as he recetves the Bolton Communtty award (but what do those on hts paper thtnk of htm?), and Marc Park. the asptnng pop star and wrnner of the aforementtoned TalentTrek Ftnal (stngmg Starship's Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now wtth band Park Avenue), who finds that fame ts not all tt cracked up to be as he tnes to achteve solo success. Drama students sensttive to berng lampooned mtght also want to avotd asptnng thesp Matthew Kelly's debut tn the world of showbiz as he seeks stardom at the 70's ntght tn the local Arena. Assumtng the rest of the series matntatns the understated humour of the first eptsode, thts should be one to watch. Twiggy Flatt

t is star for a night. bbc 1

saturdays 18 :55

To understand the BBC's new Saturday eventng talent show, Star for a Night, we must cast our minds way back into the televisual past. Back to a time soon after the dawn of Telly, when a fresh-faced young 23-year old chap named Tony Warren came up with an idea for a soap deptcting everyday folk doing everyday things, and called tt Coronation Street. For said programme heralded the dawn of a bright new era in British television; an allencompassing age of fame-democracy, tn which The People, the unremarkable mass of Bloggses and Joneses, cou ld be stars. Before long camera crews would ferret into the gnttter nooks and crannies of honest, grafting, day-to-day lives, and the Del Boys and Grant Mttchells of thts world could ruin a living room and wtn a holiday whilst having thetr gardens made over and getttng thetr own show. Everyone gets their fifteen minutes, and all's lawerly JUbbly, Rodders. There ts, however, one glanng problem wtth th ts. The People are crap. They are talentless, ugly, uninspiring, pedestnan bastards with little or no star quality what-so-f*cking-ever. Case tn point: the aforementtoned Jane McDonald, one-time

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

cabaret songstress who, gawd bless'er, the people of Britain took to thetr hearts after she appeared on BBCs The Cruise. Last Saturday thts woman, who was just about to put her terminally potntless career out of tts misery before the Beeb prodded her beseqinned corpse into the nation's living room, squeezed out the most bloodless, arthritic approximatton of Livin' La Vida Loca that a washed up 3 7year-old club circuit fishwtfe could possibly muster in her adage. Preceding her was a piss-poor karaoke endurance test starring Joanne, who sang a Shania Twain song; three depresstngly ugly pubescent 'scallies' from Hull who latd off the cider long enough to learn the chords to Green Day's The Time of Your Life; a machtne operator ca lled Martin and housewife Karen McManus, who won the show wtth her impassioned performance of some song my still-traumatised brain has blanked from its memory. Why? Why can't we have proper, manufactured, shtny twenty-four carat stars on our screens? People who were born to be extraordinary and entertain, not average sorts who do impressions of them while babtes, cash regtsters and factory machrnes are left untended. Go back to your bonng lives you boring people, and take Star for a Night wtth you. Thts belongs tn the pub, not national Steve Col/ins television. Humph.

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event horizon

the essential guide to what's going on in norwich over the coming fortnight

event horizon: film odeon angela's ashes Alan Parker's adaptation of Frank McCourt's biography of growing up in 30s Limeric. Bleak and tragic, certamly, but not without healthy glimpses of gallows humour. the iron giant Warner Bras slightly altered version of Ted Hughes' classic children's tale of an extra-terrestrial giant iron man who befriends a small child. Features the voices of Harry Connick Jr and Jennifer Anniston among others. the flintstones Another chance to see the live action version of the classic cartoon. Oh goodie. The director Barry Levant went on to work with big Amie in Jingle All the Way: The man knows funny. sleepy hollow Tim Burton's gloriously atmospheric screen outing of Washington lrving's Headless Horseman yam. Burton has compiled a near perfect cast which includes Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci and Christopher Walken. muppets from space Kermit, Miss Piggy and co reunite to rescue Gonzo after he disappears into the cosmos to find his ancestors. 101 dalmatians Go and see Stephen Herek's live action version of the Disney animated classic before the sequel hits. The sequel is entitled 102 Dalmatians by the way, how do they think this stuff up? the bone collector Denzil Washington is a paraplegic police forensics expert. Angelina Jolie is an ex-model turned beat cop. The two unite to track down a serial killer with a rather morbid hobby. inpector gadget A great opening scene, a great theme tune but that's about it in this fast paced, garish tale from the director of Vanilla Ice's Coo/ As Ice. matilda Danny Devito's affectionate adaptation of Roald Dahl 's story of a young girl and her telekinetic abilities. If you missed it on the telly over Christmas you could go and see it here and only for a pound too.

cinema city ratcatcher. Short film maker Lynne Ramsey's full length debut is a stark, unflinching drama set in 1970's Glasgow and centres around a young boy growing up on a run down council estate. tuesday, january 18 - thursday, january 20, 20:15

january 18, 14:30

ride with the devil Director Ang Lee (The Ice Storm, Sense And Sensibility) turns his talented hand to the American Civil War in this blistering drama. Featuring tragedy and heroism on an epic scale. Starring Toby Maguire, Skeet Ulrich, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Jewel Kilcher. tuesday, january 18 - thursday, january 20, 17:30 thursday 20 14:30 tea with mussolinl Franco Zeffirelli's first film since Jane Eyre is not his best but is still a poetic little gem. Judi Dench and Maggie Smith headline a cast of British thesps who play ex-pats living in Italy as Mussolini ascends to power. wednesday, january 19: 14:30 onegin The Rennes family masterpiece. Sister Martha directs brother Ralph (with other brother Magnus scoring the music) in an adaptation of Puskin's classic verse novel. Rennes gives another outstanding, emotive performance as the tragic Evgeny Onegin of the title. friday, january 21, saturday, january 22, & monday, january 24, 20:15 tuesday, january 25 - thursday, january 03, 20:15 tuesday, february 01, 14:30 deep blue sea Renny Harlin's (Cliffhanger, Die Hard 2) bloated genetically enhanced sharks on the loose thriller is absurd but still good fun. LL Cool J wins the man of the match award as the preacher turned chef who knows the secret to the perfect omlette. The ladies certainly do love him, don't they. friday, january 21, 23:15 buena vista social club Wonderful documentary by director Wim Wenders (The End of Violence, Paris Texas) chronicals musician Ry Cooder and his bunch of octegenarian, Cuban musical cohorts as they gig and record in the communist paradise. friday, january 21, saturday, january 22 & monday, january 24, 17:45 tuesday, january 25- thursday, january 27, 20:15 tuesday, january 25, 14:30 simply irresistible Comedy starring Sarah Michelle Gellar and young lndy Sean Patrick Flanery. Gellar plays a chef who 1s given magical cooking ability by a crab with supernatural powers. If you've seen Uke Water For Chocolate there is no need to see this as it a unashamed np off. saturday, january 22, 14:30 john carpenter's vampires James Woods swears a lot (always good value for money) as a Vampire hunter and Daniel Baldwin attempts to kick start his career (again) as his side

kick in John Carpenter's trashy and forgotten Vampire flick. A bit of a shame really because it's not that bad, and is in a perfect time slot here. friday, january 28, 23:15

alice et martin A superb cast led by Juliette Binoche brings vivid life to richly textured psychological drama. The film details a love affair between musician Alice and a younger model, whose past holds secrets that threaten the relationship and his sanity. friday, january 28, sat 29th & Mon 31, 20:15 tuesday, january 01 - thursday, january 03 - 20:15 tuesday, february 01, 14:30 the sixth sense M. Night Shyamalan directs Bruce Willis in this superlative film that begins as a slow burning horror film but slowly changes into something more touching. Willis is the child psychologist attempting to help a nine year boy with a terrifiying secret. friday, january 28, saturday, january 29 & monday, january 31, 11:45 tuesday, february, 01 - thursday, february 03, 20:15 tuesday, february 01, 14:30 tarzan Disney's latest and best in quite a while features the eponymous hero battling evil in the jungle. The Deep Canvas animation technique is amazing but the Phil Collins music is sadly not, Features the voices of Glenn Close, Minnie Driver, Brian Blessed and Tony Goldwin as Tarzan himself. saturday, january 29 14:30 scarface Not the Pacino/De Palma version but the original Paul Muni classic about the rise and fall of a chicago ganster who had an incestuous relationship with his sister. Directed by Howard Hawks with a cracking pace. sunday, january 30, 17:00 time , people, place Millennium Archive And Magic Lantern Show. An evenmg of Victorian magic lantern entertainment. sunday, january 30, 19:30 the clandestine marriage Comic period drama as the noble but bankrupt Ogilvies are brought together with the "noveau riche" Sterllings through the intended marriage of their youngest children. Starring Nigel Hawthorne, Joan Collins and Paul "rnad Joe Wicks" Nicholls. wednesday, february 02, 14:30 Com1c period drama as the noble but bankrupt Ogilvies are brought together with the "noveau riche" Sterllings through the intended marriage of their youngest children. Starring Nigel Hawthorne, Joan Collins and Paul "mad Joe Wicks" Nicholls. wednesday, february 02, 14:30

union films wild wild west thursday, january 20 Will Smith is West, Jim West, desperado, rough rider, nope you don't want nada. Basically a Bond film set in post civil war America, some loathed others, well others loathed it as well. I thought it was okay, meself. Make up your own mind on the Union's spectacular big screen. a simple plan friday, january 21 Sam Raimi returns with fantastic slow burning thriller ihat proves too strong for lazy comparisons with Fargo. Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton play brothers who stumble upon four million dollars in the wreckage of a plane crash. Things naturally tum decidedly dark pretty soon after. Thomton got an Oscar nomination for this one. payback tuesday, january 25 Mel Gibson stars tn this re-interpretation of John Boorman's Point Blank. Gibson is Porter who will go to any lengths to get back the money stolen form him by his duplicitous partner. This version drops the existential pondering of the original to create a sleek, brutal and incredibly entertaining film. deep blue sea thursday, january 27 Genetically enhanced sharks are on the loose. Thomas Jayne, Saffron Borrows Ladies Love Cool James and Samuel L Jackson star in Renee Harlin's underwater, gloriously over the top action/horror/thriller. A bit of a genre blender this one. the hi-lo country friday, january 28 Woody Harrelson and Billy Crudup (what a silly name - ed.) play cowboys trying to surv1ve as the west becomes urbanised after the second world war. Patricia Arquette plays the woman who comes between them. Pretty standard fare from director Stephen Frears. This was once mooted as a project for the late Sam Peckinpah. the itallan job sunday, january 30 Although it's been imitated by Vodka adverts starring some geezer who was on Alan Partridge once this is still a first rate comedy crime caper. Michael Caine stars and sings along with Noel Coward, Benny Hill and Herr Flicks' assistant from Alia Alia. See where Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrells got its ending from. blalr witch project thursday, february 03 You all know the story and you've probably all seen

use our searchable listings database at www.concret~路online.co.uk the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

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inspector gadget Mathew Broderick tries as hard as he can and Rupert Everett IS good value for money but it's JUSt too fast and too garsih. And the damned gadget mobile IS one of the least insp1red "comedy" ideas since Hitler said "hey, I got a funny idea but we'd need to go to Poland".

abe the sixth sense This is an outside contender for Best Picture at this years Academy Awards and there is a sequel on the way, but not for a while. east is east Culture clash comedy about an Asian family living in England trying to balance their faith with their new surroundings. the world is not enough James Bond is back and th1s t1me he's actually qu1te good . This one has pretty much everything you would want from a Bond movie plus the greatest closing line of any film ever. anna and the king Jodie Foster and Chow Yung Fat star in Andy Tennant's (Ever After) remake of the King And I sans the songs. summer of sam Spike Lee proves that he is a remarkable film maker with thiS searing drama about the senal killer Son of Sam who stalked New York during the hot summer of 1977.

verside dogma Kev1n Smith's best film yet. Matt Damon is watchable, Chns Rock does not make you want to hunt h1m down and torture h1m and h1s fam1ly and Alan R1ckman puts in one of the funn1est performances you Will see th1s year. Oh, and 1t's actually pro religious. it's JUSt asking Cathol1cs to celebrate the1r fa1th not mourn 1t.

the world is not enough ShC~ n~ ore C

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event 1t by now. But did you know that it is actually a potent metaphor for Amenca's conflict 1n V1etnam? All those cocky, confident yanks get lost in the woods and are plague by an unseen enemy. Their technology is of no use to them and they become psychologically tormented, c'mon it's obvious. Oh, and it's no witch it's obviously just hillbillies, I saw Deliverance .

,;- '

the world is not enough Certainly the best Brosnan Bond film. Doing away with amateurish tri te of Goldeneye and replacing it with a slightly more brutal exterior. Here, Bond tackles someone wanting to stop the west getting cheap oil and if you think that's not a very strong plot hook may I remind you that we went to war a few yea rs ago for exactly that issue. angela's ashes Alan Parker directs Emily Watson and Robert Carlisle 1n th1s adaptation of Frank McCourt's autobiography about growing up in Limeric during the 30s. sleepy hollow it's a wonder that Burton has never tned to film th1s tale before the two seem tailor made for each other. And whi le th1s is not his best film 1t is a joy to watch from start to finish. Not without a hint of Sherlock Holmes I noticed as well.

east is east Sounds l1ke, I'll stop that now. Culture clash comedy about aranged mariages and the like. Very funny, very successful.

mystery men Superhuman heroes often make for abysma l films. A sat1re on the action hero genre, therefore, IS unlikely to be any good . And th1s isn't.

bringing out the dead Nicolas Cage and Mart1n Scorcese team up for th1s nightmarish tale of a paramedic who's life crumbles around h1m. Blistering fi lm making.

the iron giant Jennifer Anniston and Harry Connick Jr lend their vo1ces to this tern fie adaptation of Ted Hughes classic ta le of a lovable extra terrestria l giant made of iron. Or whatever the extra terrestrial equiva lent of iron is.

summer of sam Spike Lee turns his considerable ta lent to this drama set during the long summer of 77 as the notorious serial killer Son of Sam murders his way through New York. Lee's best film in a long, long time and stars Mira Sorvino and Adrian Brody. end of days Boom shanka Arnie Vs the Devil. You know you want to see th1s. it really is as great as it sounds. muppets from space Kermit, Gonzo, Miss Piggy and eo get together (but not 1n a sexual way) again for another fast paced comedy outing.

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the bone collector Sounds like a porn mov1e doesn't 1t? But 1t's not. Denzil Washington and Angelina Jolie star 1n th1s senal k1ller flick from the director of Clear and Present Danger, Phil1p Noyce. the sixth sen se Sounds like a porn mov1e doesn't 1t? Bruce Willis stars 1n th1s supernatural chiller from director M. Night Shalyaman. The two are going to work together again in a film about a man who d1es and then finds out someth1ng rather nasty about himself moments before he is brought back to life. the bone collector Sounds like a porn mov1e, doesn't 1t? This one actually does. Mart1n Lawrance stars in the buddybuddy cop fl1ck about a crook who pretends to be a cop to get his hands on a stash of diamonds.

tarzan The lord of Jungle keeps on swinging months after it's initial release. Featuring the vocal talents of Glenn Close, Minn1e Driver and b1g Brian Blessed. fight club David Fincher's scintillating tale starring Edward Norton, Brad Pitt and Helena Bonham Carter. This is as important a movie as The Graduate was during the Sixties: incredibly. This film will be remembered in generations to come.

·1m chart

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sleepy hollow the world is not enough inspector gadget the sixth sense blue streak bringing out the dead dogma east is east end of days the iron giant

£3,277,054 £1,062,977 £962,504 £ 754,412 £384,858 £379,970 £308,367 £290,984 £118,258 £114,879

angela's ashes abe

Bond is back, all hail the defender of our fa1r nat1on. This t1me James (Pierce Brosnan - you know the second best Bond ever) is off on h1s travels to help save Elektra King, Sophie Marceau from the evil Renard. As with all good Bond films, there are plenty of tw1sts to the tale along the way, even if most of them are as obvious as the staple corny jokes that appear at every turn. The film follows in good Bond tradition, and while not as good as Goldeneye, the pace is fast moving. As long as you can put up w1th Denise Richards as the most 1rntating and unlikely doctor 1n the history of mankind, then this 19th mstallment 1n the Bond series is for you. ~~~------------------------------------~

t he event , wednesday, january 19, 2000

verside. odeon it's a Robert Carlyle double whammy th1s forn1ght in essential film, not only can you see h1m play1ng a baddie in the latest Bond flick, you can also catch him in the slightly more sobering Angela's Ashes. Set in Ireland, 1t shows the plight of young Frank McCourt, son of Robert Carlyle and Em1ly Watson (Breaking the Waves) and his siblings who have to survive through years of poverty, hardship and Carlyle's alcohol habit. Not the most comfortable film to sit through, but one to get you think1ng, the characters are all excellently played out especially by the three young actors playing young Frank

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event horizon

wednesday: january 19

friday: january 21

sunday: january 23

superfly mojo's - club night Yes, a sevent1es night - but seventies funk, not any of that Abba frippery, so this is retro with a twist in its tail.

elegance mojo's - club night Some achieve "that Friday feeling" by eating a crunchie. You, on the other hand, can go to MOJOS and ach1eve it by dancing to some garage instead.

sunday service manhattan's - club night Not, as you m1ght think, a Christian serv1ce (you need to go to one of those buildings w1th altars and spires, churches for that), but a club night if you can't face an early mght.

balearic beats liquid - club night Save yourself loads of money by pretending to be in Ibiza without having to travel further afield than Prince of Wales road . Or something.

3pm presents da bomb waterfront - club night UK underground garage m what they call "the main auditorium", with house and techno going on upsta1rs. 22:00 - 04:00 £10/ £9 nus more on door

rammed ikon - club night Presumably that's 'rammed' as in 'packed full of happy punters' and not a reference to male sheep. Cool name though. And cheap drinks. pure swing manhattan - club night lt don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that SWing. wide open space zoom - club night Not actually a wide open space, as Zoom is rather a small club, but offering alternative dance and indie pop, which is not a bad thing 22:00 - 02:00 cinderella theatre royal - pantomime I think we all know the storyline of this one. 'Starring' Sophie Lawrence (Diane Butcher from Eastenders), and Sylvester Mccoy (Dr Who). this is your big chance to regress and spend a happy evening shouting "boo", "h1ss" and "it's behind you". If you really must. 16:00 and 19:30 £3- £13

thursday: january 20 uplifting and progressive dance time - club night Thursday n1ght is the biggest night of the week for our friends at Time, and tonight is no exception. In their long line of top notch guest DJ's, tonights visitor is Jon '00' Fleming. Is that his chest size? 21:00 - 02:00 £2 b4 23:00 in the mix mojo's - club night Trance, techno and house for those of you who feel too fragile for the event below. lcr disco uea - club night After four weeks of deprivation, the LCR is once again open to receive people on the piss, the pull and, hopefully in the relevant cases, the pill, for some more S Club 7 and sticky floored fun. £2.75 advance 'value night' liquid - club night The name puts one in mind of the Tesco products that come in blue and white striped packaging, but this night has drinks offers and more young people than you find in supermarkets. the monastry of sound rick's place - club night Monks get in free. Actually, t hat's a lie I just made up.

gorgeous manhattan's - club n1ght House until 4am! Are you hard enough to handle such hedonistic exertion? You'll have to try it and see ... elite ikon - club night A mixture of chart hits and dancefloor favountes. There may be townies around too, but hey, you can cope I'm sure. commercial dance and party time - club night Dance the night away in swish surroundings. If you're over 20, that 1s. 21:00 - 02:00 £4 b4 23:00 hy times hy's - club night Just across the road from Ikon , and offering very similar music tonight as well for your evening out enjoyment. cinderella theatre royal - pantomime see wednesday, january 19

saturday: january 22

extra smooth sunday the garden house - club night Enjoy some live drum & bass and scratching as the perfect accompaniment to a your pint. And, it's free (the music, not the pint). international club fraser hall, 59 bethel street - club night A chance to experience new cultures and meet new people, courtesy of Norwich's International Club.

monday: january 24 john cooper clark uea- gig Performance poetry from a man with a determined haircut. Also featuring a live jazz band and DJs, as well as open mic poetry to give you, the audience, a chance to read. 19:30 start £6/£3.50 nus advance the underground mojo's - club night Appropriately enough, Mojo's actually is underground. Lots of lovely indie and lo-fi for your

dancing pleasure. And, plus, they have a band playing! Called Schemer, apparently. Never heard of them, but I dare say they're good. sanctuary ikon - club night A sanctuary from what, I'd like to know. Enduring student n1ght offering a blend of retro and chart, which is quite innovative in these parts. And, yes, cheap drinks offers.

ca rwash liquid - club night Seventies night. If you've got some flared trousers that have been lying about gathering dust ever since the Stone Roses played Spike Island then this is your chance to wear them Who knows, if your getup impresses the dj, you might get a free drink ... me and my girl theatre royal - musical Rrst shown in 1937, this enduring tale of love amongst cockneys continues to charm audiences. Go see it and be charmed why don't you. 19:30 £3- £13

tuesday: january 25 revival time - club night Aiming straight at the student market it would seem, this night offers cheap drinks and accepts trainers. 21:00 - 02:00 £1 b4 23:00

concrete: ®oo

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www .concrete-online.co.uk

meltdown waterfront - club night Featuring the usual indie nonsense downstairs, With 60s retro, and r&b just up the sta1rs. 22:00 - 02:00 £3-£4 classic anthems and dancefloor fillers t1me - club night as the above description tells you what to expect, I won't bother. 21:00 - 02:00 £5 b4 23:00 re:fresh ikon - club night Dance the night away to the sound of the current charts. satisfaction hy's - club night SatiSfaction being what you gain from having a good night out dancing to swing and house at hy's, one assumes. tfi mojo's - club night Chart music in the depths of Mojo's to celebrate Saturday with

charty handbaggy the loft - club night Popular and long-running gay night, featuring all the latest top tunes.

mance club rick's place - club night Go on, I'm sure you can guess what this is like ...

cinderella theatre royal - pantomime see Wednesday, january 19

cinderella theatre royal - pantomime See Wednesday - today's your last chance

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event the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

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slinky hy's - club n1ght Student night where showmg student 1d means you get m free and have cheap dnnks offers to look forward to. student night liqu1d - club n1ght What do students look like? If you're unsure about the answer to th1s quest1on, vis1t L1qu1d (arnve early; 1t tends to be busy) and have a good look at you r fellow punters as they prance in the zoo. _ I

over-easy mojo's - club n1ght Hmm, mterestmg name. A night of exhilarating garage at MOJO's. me and my girl theatre royal - musical see monday, january 24

wednesday: J uary 26 embrace waterfront - g1g Just when you'd almost forgotten embrace ever ex1sted, back they come w1th a mus1cal transformation . Lo-fi, apparently. Hmm, I th1nk my ha1r needs washing that night ... £8 advance superfly mojo's - club n1ght Not just fly, but 'superfly', this rather cool n1ght brings us sevent1es funk to get groovy to. rammed 1kon - club n1ght St1ll conjures up too many sheep 1mages for my

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likmg. But then, I am a m1santhrop1c g1t at the best of times . Retro mus1c and cheap dnnks.

balearic beats liquid - club n1ght This is the sound of lb1za. So don't bother go1ng there, go to liquid instead and save your money to visit somewhere quieter th1s summer. pure swing manhattan's- club n1ght it's s1mply ... sw1ngmg. me and my girl theatre royal - musical See Monday, January 24 wide open space zoom - club n1ght If you chose Read1ng over Ibiza th1s summer. th1s could be the n1ght for you. lndie and alternative, all night long.

thursday: january 7 uplifting and progressive dance t1me - club n1ght Tomislav - IS th1s man really a DJ or a former Sov1et dessert? Come along to lime and find out. lcr uea - club night So, there's thiS very big room on campus, right, and every Thursday evenmg they play mus1c loudly, turn off the lights, and suddenly, all these students appear out of nowhere and start eye1ng each other up. Why is this? £2.75 advance

in the mix mojo's - club n1ght Bored of retro and chart hits? Let moJo's help you out w1th some trance, techno and house to dance to mstead ...

elite Ikon - club n1ght Not only for the el1te, as 1t happens - the punters are a diverse bunch. Contemporary dance hits to fill the floor w1th .

uplifting and progressive dance t1me - club n1ght ... or why not embrace the salubnous enwons of time and enJOY a bit of house there. Jon Fleming·s go1ng to be dJ-Ing too 21:00 - 02:00 £2 b4 23:00

gorgeous manhattan·s club n1ght Whether "gorgeous" descnbes the clientele or merely the decor IS unclear. but they play house and 1t's open 'tll 4am, yes folks, that's 4am.

ri ck's place - club night Come and v1sit rick's 'place' for some topnotch chart tunes and the semi-obligatory dance anthems.

me and my girl theatre royal - musical See Monday, january 24 translations maddermarket theatre - play Set in 1830s Donegal, where the Bntish army are remapping and renaming Ireland, th1s play details the dilemma of an lnshman who feels that help1ng m the ordnance survey is betraymg h1s roots. So there.

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re :fresh 1kon - club night Club anthems such as you w111 be well acqua1nted w1th already but still l1ke dancing to, plus new chart hits.

tfi moJo's - club n1ght More chart mus1c, but m a different part of the city w1th late n1ght takeaways conveniently Situated nearby. rick's place - club night Who IS Rick, that's what I'd like to know. Anyway, he owns a club, wh1ch is playmg chart mus1c and dance anthems tonlte.

commercial dance and party t1me - club n1ght t1me offers us another Friday n1ght alternative. If you're 20 or over, that is. 21:00 - 02:00 £4 b4 23:00

meltdown waterfront - club n1ght At last, a chance for 1ndie lovers to show off how many song lyncs they know without feeling bad about not being able to dance. I do like meltdown. 22:00 - 02:00

·the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

nme carling tour featuring les rhythmes digitales, shack, campag velocet and coldplay. uea- gig Now gett1ng 1nto 1ts s1xth year, the NME tour arnves m Norwich with a l1ne up which, if less obviously appealing than in prev1ous years, still ought to offer someth1ng for everybody. £8.50 advance

offyerface presents the kitch en waterfront - club n1ght Regular club n1ght returns once more, offenng house, trance, drum&bass and techno, plus, more mvent1vely, UV bodyart, wh1ch IS 1nterest1ng I suppose. 22:00 - 06:00 £10/ £9 nus, more on door

translations maddermarket theatre - play See Th ursday, January 27

charty handbaggy the loft - club n1ght The secret of this successful gay n1ght IS probably that nowhere else seems to have thought about putt1ng on a gay n1ght. Anyway, 1t plays top chart hits.

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me and my girl theatre royal - mus1cal See Monday, January 24

kool here mojo's, tuesday. february 01 Th e Turntablist Society has got to be one of the busiest go1ng. Last term they ent1ced the Arsonists all the way over from New York to the Arts Centre, an impressive feat at any time, and now they bring the 'Godfather of hip-hop', Kool Here, the man Channel Four's The Hip Hop Years claimed started hip-hop by settmg foot 1n New York, to Mojo's .This comes as part of a launch party for Def lex's Synchronise EP. Will the Turntablists' ability to represent the otherwise woefully under-represented hip-hop culture 1n Norw1ch never wane? Ton1ght also features dj sets from Just One (of Tomorrow People) and Chrome (from, perhaps unsurprisingly, Def Tex). £6 advance/£7 on the door

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event me and my girl theatre royal see Monday, January 24 14:30 and 19:30 translations maddermarket theatre - play See Thursday, January 27 classic anthems and dancefloor fillers time - club night ... Which is exactly what we want on Saturday night, n'est-ce pas? £5 b4 23:00 21:00 - 02:00

sunday january 30 sunday service manhattan's - club night An alternative sort of worship for the godless heathens that er, make up practically all of society nowadays. it's a club night, Shed Seven fans. international club fraser hall, 59 bethel street - club night A chance to experience new cultures and meet new people, courtesy of Norwich's International Club. extra smooth sunday the garden house - club night Buy a lovely pint of fine ale and enjoy some live drum&bass and scratching at the ·same time. translations maddermarket theatre - play See Thursday, January 27 Monday, January 31

monday january 31 sanctuary ikon - club night And a sanctuary is what you'll be seeking at the end of the night when the combination of chart and retro and beered, up people gets too much.

in the beginning carwash liquid - club night I still think carwash was the cat in 'wind in the willows'. Anyway, this night is a glittering mixture of all things seventies which calls for your best flares and Farah Fawcett haircut. If that's what you're into. the underground mojo's - club night Readers; do you cherish a love of badly recorded music with an independent ethos behind it? Then come to mojo's for some lo-fi tun. You'll also be able to see Crashland and Bellatrix live, 'cos they're playing here tonight! swan lake theatre royal - ballet The St Petersburg Ballet theatre perform Tchaikovsky's ballet until this Wednesday, after which they will be dancing Giselle. With a company of 50 technically superb dancers, this promises to be a great night out for balletomanes (that's people who like ballet, but I'm just trying to sound cleverer). 19:30 £4.50 - £23:00 translations maddermarket theatre - play see thursday, january 27

tuesday february 01 student night liquid - club night As the name suggests, a night for students, unbelievably popular due to its 'bargain ' nature. So you'd better get there earty to avoid queuing in the cold. slinky hy's - club night Slinkies are those long coiled spri ngs that you can make walk down the stairs, aren 't they. This is hy's student night, and entry is free with student id, plus there's the usual cheap drinks offers.

£6 advance/£7 on the door swan lake theatre royal - ballet See Monday. Go on, it's only a few centimetres above today. translations maddermarket - play See Thursday, January 27, because I can't be arsed to type it all out again here. revival time - club night Students, this is your night, what with cheap drinks and suchlike. 21:00 - 02:00 £1 b4 23:00

if you have a gig, club night, play, reading, sock darning event you'd like to tell the lovely folk of uea about, just put the details on a piece of paper and drop them into the concrete office so that we can include them in this very listings section.

directory: hys 621155 the loft 623559 manhattans 629060 ikon 621541 liquid 611113 the waterfront 632717 mojos 622533 zoom 630760 concept 767671 rick's place 660288 canary cue club 627478 abc cinema 624677 cinema City 622047 odeon 621903 maddermarket 620917 norwich arts centre 660352 norwich playhouse 766466 theatre royal 630000 uea studio 592272 norwich puppet theatre 629921 king of hearts 766129 uea union ents 508050 norwich castle museum 223624 scoot 0800192192 talking pages 0800 600900

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listings written and compiled by darcy hurford & a/ex mcgregor all details correct at time of going to press

def tex launch party mojo's - club night The legendary 'Godfather of Hip-hop', Kool Here plays a set tonight, at this event brought to you by UEA's Tumtablist Society.

john cooper clarke uea, monday, january 24

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Anyone who thought that poetry was all about wan, effeminate youths sitting serenely on river banks making daisy chains should come to see Mr JCC tonight and be proved wrong. John Cooper Clarke first became known in the earty 80's for his punkinfluenced spoken -word poetry, and following in the steps of Byron, a rather hedonistic lifestyle. As his fierce and uncompromising haircut testifies, he is a purveyor of a volatile mixture of rock, poetry, fancy footwork, high energy and iconography, with in common with the Clash than Coleridge. Yes, is coming to the Hive on Monday indeed. Aspiring poets have a chance to read their work too in an open -mic session, and there's also a live jazz band. £3.50 nu!:J£6 normal people

the event, wednesday, january 19, 2000

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FRIDAY 21 JA

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January Tuesday 18th Thursday 20th Friday 21st Tuesday 25th Thursday 27th Friday 28th Sunday 30th Monday 31st

TRUE CRI E lLD WILD WEST ASIMPLE PLAN PAYBACK DEEP BLUE SEA THE HI·LO COUNTRY THE ITALIAN JOB FIRE

February FESTEN THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT Friday 4th THE HAUNnNG DAYS OF BEING Monday 7th WILD Tuesday 8th RUSHMORE Thursday 1Oth SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER AND UNCUT BOWFINGER Friday 11th Sunday 13th TITANIC Monday 14th BLAC CAT, WHITE Tuesday 1st Thursday 3rd

QUESTIONS ON MUSIC, FILM AND GENERAL KNOWLEDGE Lots of liquid spot prizes including free tickets to the Retro Disco on 5 Feb 2000 for winners of the Retro music round. Teams of up to 4 people. Register at Hive Bar from 8.30pm for 9pm start

Tuesday 15th Thursday 17th Friday 18th Monday 21st Tuesday 22nd Thursday 24th Friday 25th Sunday 27th Monday 28th Tuesday 29th

TO N A E ICAN PIE ELEcn ORP G EASE FIGHT CLUB NEVER BEEN KISSED A NIGHT AT THE OERA TH BUnONERS :YZE THIS

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THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR RU LOI.A RUN Y 1MB FE CIA'S JOURNEY SIXTH SENSE EAST IN EAST ARSE IC D LACE ALL OUTMY OTHER C KIE FORTU E MICKEY BLUE ms VAMPIRES A LA PLACE DE COEUR RU WAYB D THEWO OT E GH RIDE WfllllHE DEVI ITC EF 0 OUTER SPACE I 3D LA DINER DE CO S DROP EAD GORGE U GO A I.DSUIIIIER