Concrete - Issue 255 - 31/03/2011

Page 1

KAOS Fashion Show

Derby Day 2011

Venue bring you the best from the KAOS Fashion Show 2011 with a four page pull-out inside.

All the action and analysis from UEA’s 41-10 victory over the Essex Blades in our eight page pull-out.

UEA’s independent student newspaper since 1992

Thursday 31st March, 2011 • Issue 255 • Twitter: @Concrete_UEA

Union election controversy • Union officers called into question over conduct during elections • Complaints made over unequal treatment of candidates James Schofield

News Reporter

This year’s Union Elections have been held amidst controversial circumstances which seem to suggest that some candidates have had an unfair advantage over others. The allegations most prominently surround the use of Facebook by some Union officers involved with the elections. At the centre of the controversy are the current Finance Officer Rob Bloomer, and Tom Dolton, the current Communications Officer and Deputy Returning Officer for this election. The first breach of the election rules occurred when it was discovered that the Facebook page for the annual Derby Day competition ‘liked’ the page for Rob Bloomer’s re-election campaign. The ‘like’, which has since been removed, contravenes the rule that prohibits officers of the Union using any tools given to them through their position in the Union. As current Finance Officer and an administrator of the Facebook group in question, Bloomer has access to a group currently ‘liked’ by over a thousand people, giving

him the means to campaign more effectively than other candidates. However, Communications Officer Tom Dolton found him to have committed no wrongdoing, saying: “Current Union Officers cannot use Union channels to campaign. When I first found out about this, Rob was with me at the time. As an admin for that group, he logged on to Facebook for me and I tried to remove the link. Rob states that he did not add the like. “There’s no way a Facebook page can like another Facebook page – it’s done by people in it. Under the admin section, there’s no section for you to add likes or anything like that. I believe it’s a Facebook function to recommend likes to students that are in common with others in the group. “I imagine what the case actually is is that a large proportion of students in that group also like that and the Essex SU page. Apart from that, I looked into trying to get it removed. I believed Rob when he said he didn’t like it personally. I’ve spoken to the Returning Officer and he is satisfied that it wasn’t a breach of Union election rules.” Continued on page 6 For a full list of the 2011 Union Election results, see pages 6-7

Photo by Pippa Artus

Tom Dolton announces the election results in the Red Bar

Lecturer discontent revealed Danny Collins

Editor

Over 100 UEA lecturers have backed a petition sent to Vice-Chancellor Edward Acton condemning the University’s record on gender equality. Signed by 112 academic staff, many of whom are highly respected professors, the petition questions the lack of female representation within the upper echelons of the UEA executive hierarchy. Currently, within the Executive Team, all eight positions are taken up by men, with the letter also questioning the lack of ethnic diversity within this body. The omission of female representation within the UEA executive comes in stark contrast to that of other UK higher education institutions, with Cambridge having six females at executivelevel, and Oxford three. Statistics provided by the letter showed that Exeter, Birmingham, Warwick and York had at least one female representative. In response to the claims, a University spokesperson said: “The University is keen to tackle openly and constructively any barriers to the promotion of equality and diversity in the workplace. “Pro-Vice-Chancellors have historically been appointed by the Vice-Chancellor proposing names to Senate/Council in line with corporate needs. Continued on page 8


2 NEWS

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Concrete Newspaper Union House UEA Norwich NR4 7TJ concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk

Editor:

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Danny Collins

Deputy Editor:

Steph McKenna

Chief Copy Editor:

Mia Wecker

News Editor: Comment and Opinion Editor: International Editor: Features Editor:

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Lifestyle Editor: Travel Editor: Sports Editors: Chief Photographer: Deputy Chief Photographer: Advertising Manager:

News

3-9

Opinion

10-13

Features

15-18 19 22-24

Focsoc Lifestyle International Turf Travel Sport

26 27 28 29-32

...and Venue Fashion

4-5

Arts

6-7

TV

Nishavitha Murthi

Creative Writing Wired Film Comedy

Anna Tomson

Music Listings Competitions

21-26 27 28

Tom Hunt

Features

James Dixon

Chris King Rob Schatten

concrete.news@uea.ac.uk

In this fortnight’s Concrete...

8-10 11-12 13-14 16-19 20

Emma Parrott

Adam Fenwick

Turf Editor:

Distributor:

ISSUE 255

www.concrete-online.co.uk

16-17

Sky’s the limit?

Greg Mann

Laura Smith Jean Wills

Rob Schatten

Contributors:

Hasina Allen, Aroma Beansworthy, Jonathan Brady, Natasha Broad, Keiren Cordery, Kathryn Deighan, Emma Galal, Ines Guita, Becky Hazlewood, Tom Hunt, Ian Hobbs, Fiona Howard, Rachael Lum, Alex Mansell, David Murphy, Lauren Razavi, Mark Roach, Joshua Resoun, Drew Senior, Doneck Sewell, Carl Silverstone, Dominic Smith, Chris Teale, Bell Thomas, Philip Thomas, Charlie Wallace, Adam Wedlake, Laura Witheridge, Susanna Wood, Jennifer Woods

Adam Fenwick examines the implications of Rupert Murdoch’s proposed takeover of BSkyB.

Comment and Opinion

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A right Royal knees-up Concrete is published by UUEAS Concrete Society ©2011 Concrete. ISSN 13512773 Letters should be addressed for the attention of the Editor, Danny Collins. Letters must include contact details, but we will consider anonymous publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity as necessary. Opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the newspaper.

Proofreaders:

Amy Adams, Carmina Masoliver, Ann Hartigan, Beth Wyatt, Harry Slater, Susanna Wood

Keiren Cordery asks how many of us really even care about the Royal wedding?

No part of this newspaper may be reproduced through any means without the express permission of the Editor, Danny Collins. Printed by Archant.


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NEWS

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Lecturers go on strike • Staff go on strike in protest at changes to pension schemes • First national strikes in universities since 2005 Alex Mansell

News Reporter

The 22nd and 24th March saw official ‘University and College Union’ picket lines drawn along the main entrances to the University, leading to the disruption of normal university life for students and staff alike. Whilst official figures of striking staff cannot be released, the two picket lines enjoyed abundant support over the two days with many students also joining the lecturers. One picketer stated: “I’ve just been down to my faculty and it’s absolutely dead. There’s nobody in.” The strikes at UEA were co-ordinated nationally alongside 62 other universities as part of an on-going dispute over the pensions of teaching staff and librarians. At the centre of this dispute are proposed changes to the Universities Superannuation Scheme (USS). The UCU claims that the changes proposed will drastically reduce the future benefits arrived from the scheme, which could leave new staff with a much-reduced pension. It has also been claimed that such changes could worsen the pensions of those who have already paid into the scheme. Whilst the UCU have made their position clear about the proposed changes to the USS, having also offered alternative ideas in the process, university employers have refused to go to arbitration which is why the strike action was deemed necessary. The national strikes have been the first held in

universities since 2005, emphasising the gravity of feeling towards the threat of these perceived negative changes. The picket lines remained goodhumoured throughout the two days and received support from passing bus drivers, students and visitors to the University. One picketer positioned opposite the INTO building, wished to remain anonymous but said: “It’s a cause that is bigger than all of us and I think I was surprised just how sympathetic our students were, we are very reluctant to mess students about but we’ve felt very good to see the Student Union is behind us.” Many of the pickets encouraged students not to engage in learning on the strike days, using banners emblazoned with slogans such as ‘Support Staff: Skive’. Whilst the Union of UEA Students supported this stance, their position was at odds with official university guidelines which declined to support students who chose not to cross the picket lines. The picketing staff alleviated student fears by proclaiming, “We are the ones who do the marking. Not the people in the registry!” Paul Grassby, UCU spokesman at UEA, expressed his pleasure at the reaction to the strikes: “In my opinion it has been successful. It has given us a great opportunity via the picket lines to give out information to everyone who is affected. Our demands are to recommence negotiations and I am sure that will happen. If it doesn’t we remain at stalemate.”

Staff on the picket lines were supported by a number of students


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NEWS

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ISSUE 255

concrete.news@uea.ac.uk

500,000 attend TUC march • UEA students join nearly half a million people marching in London against Government cuts • Splinter group of protesters throw lightbulbs filled with ammonia at police and attack the Ritz hotel James Dixon

News Reporter

A collection of around 130 UEA students ventured down to London to join the TUC’s March for the Alternative on Saturday 26th March. There have been no official figures as to the final turnout, however, estimates on the day ranged from a modest 250,000 to a staggering half a million people. Either way, the march was a heavily attended demonstration of widespread anger at the Government’s proposed budget cuts to many facets of society. This reporter can attest to the sheer size of the procession which stretched into the distance as far as the eye could see. The demonstration drew a diverse crowd with participants ranging from factory workers to doctors. A broad range of ages was also visible with many parents choosing to bring children to the protest. Public sector unions were well represented with many unions sporting a variety of banners. The protest was a colourful mix of groups basking in a carnival atmosphere. This aura was bolstered by a number of small groups who provided live music to score the march. The music also represented the diversity of the march as classical marching bands strode past activists pulling trailers laden with boom boxes on the back of bicycles.

‘No ifs, no buts, no public sector cuts’

There were the customary protest chants alongside the many wafts of music drifting through the air. The crowd frequently voiced their displeasure with the coalition Government and its leaders; whilst the popular “No ifs, no buts, no public sector cuts” resonated around London. Concrete spoke with some of the attendees to try and ascertain why they had come to the demonstration and how the impending cuts are going to affect them. Chloe, a young mother, was present with her husband, a

teacher, and her two-year-old son, Laurie. She had fears over the consequences of the cuts, saying: “I worry for my son’s future as he will have to face the aftermath of these cuts. They will affect each area of schooling in turn”. Also present in the shuffling crowd was a retired mental health social worker from Wandsworth, London. He described the effects the cuts would have on his borough’s NHS services. He stated that the “mental health services in Wandwsorth will receive an £800 million budget cut’” which will surely decimate the services provided for the mentally ill. He thought there was going to be “a subsequent rise in suicide and crime”. Paul Totty, of Merseyside Fire Brigade, voiced similar concerns for his respective area of profession. He explained that his department had been hit by a 12% budget cut over the next two years and that this would have “very real consequences” when it comes to fighting fires.

High street stores come under attack

As many of the national papers have seized upon, there was a small amount of violence purported by a small contingency of individuals who mostly congregated around the anti-capitalist and anarchist movements. Some anarchists adopted the ‘black bloc’ tactic of disguising themselves in black clothing from head to toe. A group of activists sporadically attacked buildings of symbolic value such as The Ritz and a number of banks where they paint bombed facades, smashed windows and daubed in graffiti. Some members of the group UK Uncut also staged a sit-in inside the upmarket Piccadilly department store Fortnum & Mason. More than 200 people were in police custody after activists clashed with police in Trafalgar Square after the march. A total of 149 protesters have since been charged with various offences. 84 injuries were reported, including at least 31 police officers, with 11 of those requiring hospital treatment.

A variety of Unions joined the march, which ended with a rally in Hyde Park

The Ritz was attacked with paintbombs, while members of UK Uncut staged a sit-in in Fortnum & Mason

James Dixon

James Dixon


www.concrete-online.co.uk

NEWS 5

UEA yet to announce fees

• As increasing numbers of universities set their level of tuition fees, speculation mounts over what UEA fees will be David Murphy

News Reporter

As more universities across the UK announce their plans to charge the maximum possible for tuition fees in 2012, UEA is maintaining its silence over what future students can expect to pay. As of Tuesday 29th March, 20 universities have announced what they intend to charge students starting an undergraduate course in 2012, with 15 of them planning to charge the maximum possible £9,000 a year. It is no surprise that the country’s highest rated universities plan to charge the maximum possible but they will implement measures to encourage applications from a wider pool of students. For students from households earning less than £16,000 a year, Oxford University will charge £3,500 for their first year and £6,000 for every year after that. Cambridge University has stated that students whose families earn less than £25,000 could receive £3,500 a year to be used as a bursary or as a waiver, effectively reducing their tuition fees to £6,500. Some have been surprised the plans of some lower ranked universities. The University of Essex and the University of Reading, ranked 43rd and 45th respectively in the Guardian University Guide 2011, have both announced plans to charge the

maximum possible fees. As it stands these figures are only proposals and once all institutions have proposed their fees by 19th April, the Office for Fair Access will determine which universities and colleges are doing enough for lower-income students to warrant charging higher fees. While Tom Dolton, Communications Officer at the Union of UEA Students, has confirmed that the Union “has been contacted by the University with its proposed plans for tuition fees”, the following consultations must be kept confidential. This is because until UEA makes a public announcement the discussions of fee settings are bound by competition law. Mr Dolton told Concrete that the Union “has reiterated its policy of free education several times”. In addition to this, an online Q&A session with Professor Tom Ward has revealed that the university have written to OFFA, meaning fees will definitely top £6,000. These announcements will cause headaches for the government. They estimated the average tuition fees for 2012 would be £7,500 but so far this figure is closer to £8,500. As the government pays students’ fees initially and then waits for repayments once students are in full time work, this could mean the country and the taxpayer will have to pay an extra £1 billion pounds a year than expected.

Puppet man still pulling strings UEA students breathed a collective sigh of relief this week as it was announced that internet rumours concerning the wellbeing of the Norwich Puppet Man were in fact a hoax. The popular street entertainer, who has performed puppet dance routines for over 20 years in Norwich Market, was the subject of a flurry of Twitter and Facebook rumours on Monday evening, as it was suggested he had suffered a fatal heart attack. Concrete can confirm that the rumours have been traced back to a single Facebook user, from whom the rumours spread rapidly throughout the day. The Puppet Man, whose real name is David Perry, was quick to dispel such rumours, and his official website confirmed that Mr. Perry was in fact in rude health. After beginning his puppet repertoire in the mid-80s, he was forced to temporarily retire after his act proved so popular that his incomings negated his right to incapacity benefit. Known to perform at parties, he also performed for 2,000 students at a Mercy nightclub student night in 2008. Danny Collins


6 NEWS

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Election results announced amidst controversy Davina Kesby

News Editor

The results of the 2011 Union Elections were announced at 5.30pm on Thursday 31st March in the Red Bar. The announcement was scheduled to take place in the Blue Bar, but was moved owing to the Cricket World Cup semi-�inal. Rob Bloomer was the only fulltime incumbent of�icer to stand for re-election and was victorious, winning in the �irst round of voting with 834 �irst preference votes. Will Lacey, the incumbent Environment Of�icer, was also re-elected, despite facing stiff competition from Jonathan Davison and Jack Whaley. Speaking after the elections, Tom Dolton, the Communications Of�icer and Deputy Returning Of�icer for the elections, said: “I’m ecstatic about the fact that UEA students engaged with democracy and shaped their Union for the future”. The outgoing Communications Of�icer went on to say: “I have high hopes for the leadership the new student of�icers will give for the membership to develop the Union into being one of the best in the country.” The results were announced amidst controversial circumstances, in some of the most hotly-contested elections in recent years. The election for the position of Academic Of�icer was exceedingly close, with both Kirsty Callaghan and Megan Evans receiving 410 votes. Al Powell, the Returning Of�icer for the elections, con�irmed that he had not seen a draw in an election before, despite the fact that he oversees the elections for most student unions in the Eastern and Midlands region. It was decided by the Returning Of�icer and Deputy Returning Of�icer that the appropriate action would be to elect Kirsty Callaghan to the position, owing to the fact that she received more �irst-preference votes than Megan Evans. For the full story on the election controversy, turn to the front page.

Screenshots from the dubious activity on Facebook which caused complaints about the conduct of these elections. L: Tom Dolton, Deputy Returning Of�icer for the elections seems to have added people to the campaign group of one candidate. R: The Derby Day fan page ‘liked’ a page set up by Rob Bloomer for his re-election.

Continued from page 1

This Concrete reporter has since created a test Facebook page and has discovered that the liking of one page by another can be done with ease. Deputy Returning Officer involved in scandal

Tom Dolton himself was involved in another controversy when it was suggested that he had added students to another campaign group. The Facebook group “Vote Cathy for Comms” contained a post confirming that Dolton had added two students to the group. As Deputy Returning Officer, Dolton is required to be invited to each campaigning group, as an admin, to oversee the election more transparently. However, Officers of the Union are not allowed to campaign on behalf of a candidate “while at work”. Dolton was left confused by the situation. Online actions said to be “a glitch”

“It came as a shock to me

when somebody reported it to me because I hadn’t done that. The most bizarre thing is that I went on the Facebook page in question and I looked and it said that I had added two people to the group, both of whom I don’t know; [we’re] not friends on Facebook, I don’t know them personally, so I don’t know how that happened. “As far as I’m aware, and as far as the Returning Officer is aware, I wasn’t campaigning for Cathy and it was just a glitch – I honestly don’t know what happened. I categorically did not add people to that group and I did not invite people to join that group either.” Concrete can confirm that Tom Dolton is not friends on Facebook with either of the people who appeared to have been added to the campaign group by him. Ensuring that fairness is upheld

The Union Elections are held each year under guidelines and supervision that maintains the fairness and integrity throughout the electoral process. The role of the Deputy Returning Officer is to ensure that this fairness is upheld until the election is complete, with

any breaking of the rules to be reported to him “whose decision on the matter is final”. A further breach of Union Election rules was confirmed when it was discovered that some candidates had been using copyrighted imagery in some of their posters. The rules explicitly state that “candidates must take care not to use text or images which are copyrighted”, and that “the Union will not reproduce any materials which infringe copyright”. The posters in question were taken down in campaign week, yet no action will be taken as “it was a fault on the candidate’s part and on the part of the Union”. Extension of voting and delay to results

The results of the elections themselves were delayed by 24 hours due to a large number of students not receiving an email with the link to the voting website. The glitch largely affected intercalating and part-time students, amongst others. The decision was taken by the Deputy Returning Officer to extend the voting period. Tom Dolton said: “It is my role to

make sure that the Union Elections are run as fairly as possible. It would be unfair if those 970 people had a day less than everybody else to vote because they received their [voting] token a day later. The decision was taken to make sure everyone has the same opportunity to vote.” Reactions after the announcement

Speaking after the election results were announced, Dolton said: “I feel my handling of the situation was appropriate to the best of my ability.. Not only that, the Returning Officer, an independent member of NUS, who is dedicated to ensuring that our elections are run in a free and fair manner, agrees...that it was run to the best of my ability and that it did not [have] a detrimental impact on the elections. “If it had, Al, as Returning Officer, would have interjected and taken actions against it. However, he feels that it did not effect the elections.” James Schofield

• UNION ELECTION RESULTS • UNION ELECTION RESULTS • UNION ELECTION


NEWS

www.concrete-online.co.uk Photo by Geraldine Morizet

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Other results Environment Of�icer William Lacey, 531 votes out of 1077, with 438 �irst preferences

Ethical Issues Of�icer Allanah Bayliss, 491 votes out of 953, with 491 �irst preferences LGBT Of�icer Hayley Kearns, 584 votes out of 715, with 584 �irst preferences

International Student Of�icer Samuel Kessington-Okwuada, 402 votes out of 503, with 402 �irst preferences Students with Disabilities Of�icer Luke Jenning-Hatt, 479 out of 572, with 479 �irst preferences Non-portfolio Of�icers Hannah Dunlop, Liam McCafferty and Duncan Smith

L-R: Finance Of�icer Rob Bloomer, Community and Student Rights Of�icer-elect Tash Ross and Communications Of�icer-elect Matthew Myles

Full-time officers for 2011-12

Communications Matthew Myles

Finance Rob Bloomer

Academic Kirsty Callaghan

Community & Student Rights Tash Ross

Won with: 602 votes out of 1470 First preference votes: 369 Key manifesto points:

Won with: 834 votes out of 1336 First preference votes: 834 Key manifesto points:

Won with: 410 votes out of 1094 First preference votes: 222

Won with: 533 votes out of 1078 First preference votes: 515

• •

• • • • •

Ensuring the University are transparent with regards to cuts Improving student media New bus service Working closely with the International Student Society Speci�ic opportunities to be heard Having a cashpoint in the Village

• • • •

Championing volunteering and employability Love student activities - “focus societies” Go for Gold - being one of the best Student Unions in the country Drive the strategic plan Continue to build UUEAS’ reputation

Key manifesto points:

• • • •

Improved IT services - more reliable printing and wireless Improved library facilities Better use of Blackboard Early, clear helpful information More visible, active representation in schools of study

Key manifesto points:

• • •

Protecting the student experience Lobbying University to keep widening participation Focusing on community - fostering links between clubs and socs and the wider community Improving Home Run Building a halls’ community

RESULTS • UNION ELECTION RESULTS • UNION ELECTION RESULTS • UNION


8 NEWS

ISSUE 255 concrete.news@uea.ac.uk

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Study aims to decrease type 2 A joint study lead by the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital and UEA, could dramatically reduce instances of type 2 diabetes in Norfolk, and could lead to a nationwide program saving the NHS vast amounts of money by stopping type 2 before it begins. Currently, around 2,500 people are newly diagnosed in Norfolk every year, with over 300,000 currently receiving treatment for the condition. Often confused with type 1 diabetes (which is either genetic or brought on by a viral attack), type 2 occurs as a result of poor diet and weight gain and usually occurs later in life. This will be the focus of the £2.2 billion study, which will screen 10,000 people at risk of developing the condition. Those determined to be at risk and willing to take part will be randomly split into a control group and an intervention group. The latter will be prescribed diet, exercise and lifestyle advice from specialist sports physiotherapists and nutritionists. Mentors that already have type 2 will also be used to guide some of the participants. The groups will then be monitored to determine whether these lifestyle changes will prevent onset of the condition. Rebecca Hazlewood

Continued from front page “The current VC has instituted internal advertisement for Head of School appointments and is proposing that this process should be adopted for the appointment of PVCs in future. “The University appoints on merit, regardless of gender.” However, speaking to Concrete, an anonymous lecturer said: “What is simply shocking is that Edward Acton seems to be doing nothing more than paying lip service to the idea that women should be treated equally at UEA. While he says he is concerned about the issue, he has just created another PVC role which looks unlikely to be advertised. “I wonder why it is that academic women at UEA are overtly excluded? The VC may think that this is okay, but there are plenty of staff who don’t.” The claims come despite executive positions at UEA having been held previously by women. Shirley Pearce, the current ViceChancellor of Loughborough University, held the position of Pro Vice-Chancellor in 2000, and Dame Elizabeth Esteve-Coll served as ViceChancellor between 1995 and 1997, before the diagnosis of multiple sclerosis forced her to step down.

Air bases in Norfolk and Suffolk used to launch Libyan attack Philip Thomas

News Reporter

Aircraft based at RAF Marham in Norfolk have been flying coalition operations over Libya. UN resolution 1973, which was approved by the Security Council on Thursday March 17th set a nofly zone around the troubled nation. UK intervention, codenamed Operation Ellamy commenced on Saturday March 19th and Marham jets were in action within hours, flying a 3000-mile sortie into Libyan airspace. UN resolution 1973 is the international response to safeguard the civilian population of Libya. The Libyan revolution follows widespread protests in February and similar uprisings in countries across North Africa and the greater Middle East. Leading the Libyan opposition is the National Transitional Council, which is demanding the deposition of erratic dictator Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, and the establishment of

free democratic elections; Gaddafi’s long regime is widely accused of corruption and the violation of international human rights laws. The UN resolution aims to defend civilians against the fierce reprisals by Gaddafi forces which prompted international intervention; Gaddafi is extensively accused of war crimes following several validated reports of atrocities committed by his troops against the Libyan people. Prime Minister David Cameron has commended the “good progress” of UK forces, saying: “Our servicemen and women are performing with their usual professionalism and courage”. He also praised the alertness of the Marham-based Tornados, saying that they had avoided a “bloody disaster”. The aircrews are committed to a particularly difficult task, doing everything possible to avoid civilian casualties by gathering high-levels of intelligence, and deploying low-collateral weapons. Chief of the Defence Staff, General Sir David Richards, has emphasised

the importance of avoiding civilian casualties: “We are very, very alert to our responsibilities to the civilian population. We don’t want to fall into the propaganda trap that Mr Gaddafi is obviously trying to set us.” Sources indicate that UK forces will remain present in Libya until the civilian population is safe. However, debate continues within the international community as to the ultimate responsibilities of the NATO-led coalition, and the outcome of the conflict. Meanwhile UK aircraft continue

to fly ‘armed reconnaissance missions’ against tanks and armoured vehicles. On the morning of Monday March 28th, Tornados from RAF Marham flew deep into the Libyan desert, deploying Storm Shadow missiles against ammunition dumps threatening opposition cities. Recent coalition efforts have undeniably facilitated the rebel advance on the Libyan capital of Tripoli, undoubtedly turning the tide of the revolution; although to what end, it is yet to be known.

Caroline Lucas to address students Sam Lewis

News Reporter

Leader of the Green Party and the UK’s first Green MP will visit UEA today as part of her regional tour, ahead of the local elections in May. Caroline Lucas, MP for Brighton Pavilion, will be available to meet with students and address questions between 2.00 to 3.00 pm in the square. Norwich City Councillor and Green Party Deputy Leader Adrian Ramsay will also be in attendance along with a number of other Green councillors. Dr. Lucas will also speak at a public meeting in the city between 5.30 and 6.30 pm at Chantry Hall (just off Theatre Street, next to the Assembly Rooms). This will be on the topic of political reform, where she will call for the modernisation of Parliament and express her support for a ‘Yes’ vote in the referendum on electoral reform. Ian Gibson, former Norwich North MP and UEA lecturer, will also be talking about his own parliamentary experiences.

Caroline Lucas, leader of the Green Party, pictured with Norwich City Councillor and Deputy Leader Adrian Ramsay

Adrian Ramsay said: “We have the largest group of Green Party Councillors in the country here in Norwich. I’m delighted that Caroline

is visiting Norwich to support our election campaign as we aim to increase our influence at City Hall.” He added: “Thursday will be a

great opportunity for students to meet Caroline at UEA and join in an interesting public meeting on political reform.”


ISSUE 255

NEWS 9

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Thursday 31st March

Popular PhD student dies

Union Awards 2011 - the winners • Union Awards recognise achievements of clubs and societies at LCR ceremony • Nightline amongst big winners, taking away the ‘Most Improved Society’ award Susanna Wood

News Reporter

Last week the postgraduate community suffered a great loss as Franklin Yaw Frimpong, a final year PhD student from the School of Chemistry, passed away suddenly. According to the Graduate Students’ Association, Franklin was “the kind of friend that was always there when you needed a cup of coffee or a hug. He was a great listener and would always be walking tall and proud with a charming cheeky smile on his face. Franklin was a great friend to all of us and will be missed greatly”. The Graduate Students’ Association will be holding a fundraising event to raise money to help Franklin’s family with the transport and funerary costs involved. The event will take place in the Grad Bar on Thursday evening, and the GSA will accept any baked donations to sell on the night. There will also be collection pots in the Grad Bar and the School of Chemistry’s reception throughout the week. Davina Kesby

National Student Survey ongoing Final year undergraduates are being encouraged to fill out the National Student Survey. Professor Tom Ward, Pro-Vice Chancellor, said: “The survey gives us a picture of how students view UEA and its staff, and helps us to pinpoint and spread best practice. It also has a powerful impact on the reputation of the University.” The online survey is conducted by Ipsos MORI, and is available at www.thestudentsurvey.com. Davina Kesby

The Union’s brightest stars got suited and booted and donned their glad rags on Tuesday for the most glamorous event in the Union’s calendar: the Union Awards. A celebration of the hard work achieved by the Union over the year, awards were handed out to clubs and societies as well as to those who represent the Union and participate in volunteering. Big winners on the night were the UEA Bright Futures society, which won Best New Society, and Music Soc, which walked away with Society of the Year. Nightline UEA, which was recently voted the Most Improved Nightline of the Year nationally, won the award for the best progress as a society, much to the delight of its members . Men’s Football won Sports Club

of the Year, while the Powerboat club, UEA Boat Club and Table Tennis also won awards. The campaign of the year was, unsurprisingly, Fees and Cuts, with Charity Week and the Union’s response to the ‘Techpocalypse’ receiving accolades. Awards were also given to various members of the Union’s representative team, including the New Academic Model Council winning SSLC of the year, Liz Biscoe winning Union Rep of the Year and Christopher Stokes winning University Committee member of the year. The night was well attended and featured performances from various societies. The celebrations continued at the Masqueradethemed LCR which took place later in the evening. A full list of this year’s winners can be found online at www. ueastudent.com.

Harriet Jones Josh Resoun speaks on behalf of the successful “Charity Week” committee

Norwich Research Park gets £26m funding injection • Extra funding announced in the Budget for two East Anglian research centres. • 5,000 new jobs set to be created in the next decade as a result of the boost in funding. Davina Kesby

News Editor

It was announced by Chancellor George Osborne in the budget this week that Norwich Research Park will receive a £26m boost in funding. A further £44m will be given to the Babraham Research Campus near Cambridge. Both of these centres specialise in biotechnology and biological research, with the funding being used to create jobs as well as support the research that is being undertaken. Norwich Research Park, located behind Colney Fields, will spend some of the £26m on making the park more attractive to prospective investors as well as expanding office and laboratory facilities for new small and medium-sized businesses at the park. Simon Wright, MP for Norwich

South, said: “This is great news for Norwich and Norfolk. Locally, we have one of Europe’s largest single sites for collaborative work in the fields of environmental, health and food sciences, and this investment will help grow the potential of the research park.” Norwich Research Park is Europe’s leading centre for research in food, health and environmental sciences. Around 3,000 scientists are based on the site, which is a collaboration between a number of institutions including UEA and the Institute of Food Research. The funding for this investment has come from the bank levy that was announced in the budget. The levy is a tax on the debts of UK banks and will see an increase from January 2012, with its revenue set to increase by £800 million to £2.5 billion.

Greg Mann Norwich Research Park is to receive a boost in funding that could help to create around 5,000 new jobs in Norwich


Comment

Issue 255 Thursday 31st March

Our pick ‘n’ mix attitude towards charity... In light of this year’s Comic Relief record-breaking money-raising Jennifer Woods looks at the nature of British donations

Jennifer Woods

Comic Relief graced television screens across the country last week with an epic seven-hour show in an effort to raise money for those who suffer from poverty and social injustice across the world. An impressive repertoire of comedy gold sketches was crammed into a programme that included some of the biggest faces of British comedy, as well as musical performances from the likes of Take That and Adele. Naturally, the tone necessarily shifted for the screenings of the relief documentaries. The footage was, as expected, very sobering. Necessarily raw and revealing, the films documented the distressing situations of women and children both in the UK and African nations. Most striking perhaps, was a film about the impossible choice one hospital doctor had to make when confronted with three infants who

urgently needed oxygen, and only two oxygen pumps available for use. It was also possibly the most effective because it was not presented by a celebrity ambassador for the charity. Frustratingly, the films often focused on the experience of the celebrity, rather than solely focusing on the issues they were documenting. David Tennant finished his film with the words “damn it, I said I wasn’t going to cry” as he struggled to contain himself. While all this reveals their honest compassion for the cause, one cannot help worrying that viewers may focus more on the celebrity that they are familiar with, rather than the frightening issues which appear much more remote. And remote is definitely the appropriate word. Although the films did an excellent job of raising awareness of major problems such as malaria, poverty, famine and AIDS, they also reinforced the common public perception of Africa as a ‘country’ full of starving people who rely solely on aid from us saviours in the West. This is not to suggest that the issues facing thousands in regions

of Africa are not extremely grave. But Comic Relief’s documentaries paint a picture which ignores the work and successes of thousands of international charities who tirelessly strive to improve the lives of people suffering every day. Meanwhile, the British public are thanked every five minutes across the seven hours, for suddenly transforming the lives of thousands by calling in and donating, one day of the year. The total of £74.3m is astounding and must not be undermined. Surely, however, it should not take a seven-hour marathon of a television programme to make us respond. There are times when we are shocked into donations for vitally important causes. On Boxing Day in 2004 a tsunami hit South Asia, obliterating 230,000 lives. After two days of excess and luxury, it is little wonder that such an immediate and unprecedented public response was seen. Similarly, the Haiti earthquake caused untold immediate damage to an extremely impoverished country, and again the response was impressive. One of the worst floods in

Pakistan’s history last year affected more people than Haiti and the tsunami put together, yet the response from the public was slow and poor. Perhaps it was the mediafuelled perception of Pakistan as a country breeding terrorists; perhaps it was that the flooding had a gradual impact, rather than an immediate one like an earthquake; perhaps it was that news coverage was during summer holidays when many people were abroad. For whatever reason, we Brits undoubtedly pick and choose who, where and when we give. One day every two years supporting Comic Relief is better than nothing, and unquestionably makes a difference. But we must not forget that countries in Southern Asia are still recovering from the tsunami six years ago. Pakistan will be reeling from last year’s floods for many more years to come. And hundreds of thousands of people around the world would consider each day in their lives a state of emergency. At least Comic Relief thrusts these issues that seem too remote to deal with, in our faces. Even if it is just for one day.

How British public donations around the world compare: Boxing Day Tsunami December 2004 £50 million Haiti January 2010 £46 million Pakistan August 2010 £29 million

Comic Relief 2011 £74.3 million

Gym etiquette: the dos and don’ts

Ever get the feeling that your fellow gym-goers are thinking more about their reflection than their running machines? Bell Thomas settles this once and for all with some simple rules...

Bell Thomas

The gym has always been a place where there is no judgement. It is the general belief for all gym-goers that anyone can reach their target goal with unwavering focus and constant hard work. However, these days you’ll find it’s very difficult not to be distracted by the people and the surroundings when you’re trying to have an epic workout. To put my troubled mind at rest, I came up with some core principles every gym-goer must understand before they set foot in the hallowed palace of sweat patches and athlete’s foot. There are four principles that govern all gym-goers whether they

know it or not and at the moment these principles are being made a mockery of. The mentality: Most serious gym-goers always psyche themselves up before a workout session. It is essential that you’re in the right frame of mind. It’s very easy to spot someone who has a warped gym mentality; let’s face it, taking pictures of yourself while doing stretches to post on Facebook is probably not the most inspiring way to start a workout. The outfit: So what is appropriate gym wear? An old vest, beach shorts and five finger running shoes? Well it’s definitely not your old pair of leggings with about 50 holes in them and a very transparent crotch area. Also, unless you are Marissa Miller on a hot sunny day at the gym in Miami, cover up your body. We are in England; the weather does not

“So what is appropriate gym wear? It’s definitely not your old pair of leggings with about 50 holes in them and a very transparent crotch area”

permit us to be that ostentatious. It’s not just the girls who fail with their outfits, guys are equally guilty. If you haven’t been cast to star as Bruno in Bruno II, leave the short shorts at home. There is no universal ‘model gym wear’ although it’s probably best to wear something waterproof, functional and preferably black as we all know black is more forgiving of bodily fluids. Everyone sweats at the gym but you don’t want to be singled out as a giant sweaty wildebeest! The workout: Finally, the main reason we go to the gym. Workouts are meant to be personal and anti–attention grabbing. Ironically, this is the perfect place for people to showcase their many talents and skills. Seriously, two splits is probably the recommended amount one should do to stretch. More than three splits, then your talents

are being wasted on the wrong audience. Perhaps a nearby circus would be more appreciative of your abnormal flexibility skills. Let us also not forget the equipment hoggers. It’s not a problem when you hog a particular machine to genuinely boost your workout; however, deliberate hogging of a machine only because it puts you in the line of sight of your latest gym crush is a workout deal-breaker. The friend: Going to the gym with friends seems very normal and friends are always good for moral and physical support. However, the notion of friends at the gym is a double-edged sword; they can either facilitate your workout or hinder your progress. Finally, there’s no harm in talking to your friend while working out, except if this friend is on the other end of your phone.


ISSUE 255

COMMENT AND OPINION 11

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Thursday 31st March

The Debate: Alternative Vote With the referendum date looming ever closer, Concrete takes this opportunity to look at the alternative vote: what is this voting system all about and which way should you vote on May 5th?

THE EXPLANATION Philip Thomas

On May 5th this year the polls open for the much-debated Alternative Vote (or ‘AV’) referendum, which could ultimately change the way we vote in future elections, and is potentially a radical upheaval in the balance of UK politics. But why is there a voting referendum? What would the alternative vote be

replacing, and how does it work? The present parliamentary electoral system is known as ‘first-past-the-post’, which, simply described, entitles members of the electorate to a single vote which is assigned to the constituency candidate of their choice; the candidate with the most votes wins the seat, after which the Government is usually formed by the party with a majority of seats. However, critics of the current system cite that it is

FOR Fiona Howard

The principle behind AV is simple: the person who actually has the majority vote wins. When you think about it, that’s what democracy is meant to be; it is this very principle we’ve fought wars over. If it works for both Labour and the Lib Dems to select their party leaders and the Commons speaker than why shouldn’t the whole nation be using it? Even the Oscar for Best Picture is voted on by using AV. If it’s good enough for the Academy, it’s good enough for me! We currently have a pervasive culture of tactical voting in this country, and first-past-the-post is to blame. Why should you give up voting for the party you actually support to stop the party you least support from winning? Instead of being forced to vote with your heart or head with AV you can do both, and not have to make sacrifices. Our officials are meant to be representatives of their constituents and yet currently we constantly have to make compromises to appease the system. The lack of accountability in our so-called democracy is laughable; our current system is failing us, with barely 1 in 3 MPs

actually winning by majority vote. Not only that, many of those MPs are in safe seats so there’s little chance of getting rid of them! The complacency in our current voting system is despicable, but then again it’s no wonder that so many are apathetic about voting when your vote doesn’t really count. Why should our voting system be so manipulatable when we should be voting for who we actually want to win? By being held fully responsible MPs, are then forced to work harder to keep our support, making sure they truly are our MPs. With extremist parties like UKIP and the BNP becoming more vocal in recent years the worse may be yet to come. The BNP won two seats in the European election and although they may not have won any seats in last year’s general election, they did see an increase in votes. The current system means that extremist parties like these have a better chance of winning. AV stops these parties from sliding in the back door. The argument that FPTP is a British institution is also preposterous. Our political system shouldn’t be a relic or museum. Change is necessary. We should be making strives into the 21st century and towards true democracy. When it really is as easy as 1, 2, 3 it’s amazing we’ve not switched to AV before.

not fully representative of national opinion, because many votes in constituencies won by narrow and insufficient margins (where no single party holds more than 50% of the vote) are simply wasted, resulting in a disinterested and disengaged electorate. Supporters of the alternative vote argue that it offers the voter more choice, and makes constituency elections more competitive. Voting reform was included in the Liberal

How to register to vote in the referendum and local elections • The referendum on AV and the local elections are both being held on Thursday 5th May • To register to vote Norwich City Council must receive your application by 14th April 2011 • Application forms can be picked up at Reception in the Hive • Students can vote from their home address and their term-time address • For details about individual councils, check their websites. For Norwich City Council go to www. norwich.gov.uk

Democrat coalition negotiations last year, and the current referendum was approved by Parliament after a long period of political wrangling. So how would the proposed system change the way we vote? Essentially, voters would no longer choose a single candidate, but instead rank their constituency candidates in order of preference. A candidate with an overall majority from the initial round of voting (first preference) is immediately elected

to the seat. Should no candidate have more than 50% of the votes, then successive rounds (second and third preferences etc) are counted, and the party with the lowest votes each round is eliminated, until any candidate has a majority. The referendum would not affect the formation of a government, and does not concern proportional representation. Political opinion is notably divided, especially within the coalition.

AGAINST Dominic Smith

For the sake of democracy, vote no to AV on May 5th. Over the next few weeks you’ll most certainly hear Nick Clegg and other Liberal Democrats talk about how they get an unfair representation in Parliament and how AV will provide a fairer government, with fewer wasted votes. Yet all it will really do is hand more power to a party which campaigned against radical cuts, protection of the NHS and against rises in tuition fees, yet appear to be going back on their word on all three issues. This, some will argue, is because they are in a coalition and they’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. Yet an AV voting system will cause even more coalitions in the future, with even more parties going back on their policies. The result: no one will know what they’re voting for. The system isn’t even democratic in that it still does not give the people what they want. All it will do is allow parties which initially came second or third to win a seat because most people put them as their second choice. Most Labour and Conservative voters would choose the Liberal Democrats as their second choice,

so third-way marginal seats would go to them, leaving voters with what they don’t hate rather than what they want. It’s not just a question of democracy though. The ConDems are currently making radical cuts, left, right and centre, yet Clegg wants us to spend £250 million, yes, a quarter of a billion, to change our electoral system to one which will give his sorry excuse of a political party even more power. Again, you’ll hear people say “Oh, well this is just the first step towards true democracy, towards proportional representation”. The Tories, however, are against AV, and so if AV does pass, Cameron will just claim that they’ve done their bit and then no way will we see any further advances anytime soon. AV also poses the threat of making Britain a much more apathetic place. Voter turnout is already low and, as sad as it sounds, some people are still confused by the first-past-the-post system. Changing it will only confuse people further; turning them away from politics. With a lower voter turnout, parties will have even less of a popular mandate. Those on the ‘Yes’ side of the campaign will complain that only 36% or so voted Tory in May last year, but even with AV, it would still only be 36% that would put them as first choice, so it isn’t fairer at all. Just how exactly is this democratic?


12 COMMENT AND OPINION

ISSUE 255

www.concrete-online.co.uk

concrete.opinion@uea.ac.uk

Do you still go to the LCR?

With falling ticket sales and debate raging about another End of Term Bash featuring S Club 3, Concrete looks at what, if anything, has gone wrong with the LCR and how we can improve it

Why we would all be lost without the LCR Joshua Resoun

The LCR, a place for dancing, drinking, and having a good time. I remember my first year at UEA, every Tuesday and every Saturday, without fail, it would be predrinks at someone’s flat before moving down to the LCR. Of course Monday would be a night out too, and Thursday, and normally Wednesday, so overall a busy week. In my second year I’ve gone out less, and despite the declining attendance of the LCR over the last two years, it still provides a good and relatively cheap night out. Let’s consider the current alternatives to the LCR; you now have Lola Lo’s, offering a pretty good deal on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Project gives us an alternative night on Fridays. Somehow Mercy still draws a crowd on Thursdays. Yet despite the drinks deals, the guest-lists, and the alternative music genres,

The LCR: less popular than the library?

the LCR is a far safer bet than town for a night out. You may not have a fantastic time at the LCR at every club night, but you won’t have a really bad one either. The LCR is safer than town, and the Hive gives you all the alternative music you need. The comments which have been made recently, pointing out the ‘death of the LCR’ are premature. Yes, numbers are on the decline, but this is part of a wider trend. You’ll have one year where the LCR picks up, and then declines again, and the same rule applies to any nightclub. The Mustard Lounge used to be huge, now, not so much; and Ponana’s had its on and off days. So the LCR may be criticised, yes, the club nights all seem to roll into one after a while, and the drinks (and entry, I might add), are not as cheap as some nights in town but the LCR is still good. For starters, you’re guaranteed to see people you know. Say what you may about the LCR, but I can say, with 100 per cent certainty, if it went, we would all miss it.

Carl Silverstone

When the library is a more sociable place than the LCR, there’s a problem. Numbers of attendees at the LCR have dropped massively. If the I.T. help desk starts serving VKs we can close the LCR altogether. Blame it on the freshers? Most people do. For some reason they’re not going out as much as other years did. Freshers should fill the LCR every single week. They’re young, excitable and first year doesn’t count. Remember the queues back in the day at the box office? One was four hours long in Freshers ‘09. Yeah, fine, there are some new clubs in town, Project has opened, Kitsch is cool - but the LCR is the staple ingredient in the student diet. Second and third years are being lured elsewhere whilst the freshers still aren’t going out at all. Without a club face-lift, the

LCR will become a joke. Who likes 80s music? Most students weren’t even born in the eighties, let alone want to hear its music in the main room. Now 90s, Club Retro, The Other One; drop these dull, cheesy themes. Play commercial music, what the majority of people want to hear, and leave the novelty stuff to Tuesdays.

“If the I.T. help desk starts serving VKs we can close the LCR altogether”

As for Tuesday night LCRs, having practically identical themes year on year – really? Come on guys, another Fashion Disaster night? You can come up with something inventive, surely? The LCR, you know what you’re going to get. It’s a school disco - sticky floors, vomming students and an encounter with the weirdo from your seminar.

What can be done to save our fancy dress nights? Adam Wedlake

In recent weeks the LCR’s attendance has slumped. Maybe people have had enough of the same blurry memories they wake up with the following day; the aftertaste of VKs and energy drink, the classic feeling that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea now that

a full day of lectures is knocking on your doorstep. This poor attendance is particularly apparent in Tuesday fancy dress LCRs. I believe the solution to the problem is simple: put the fancy dress LCR on a Wednesday night! Everyone knows Wednesday is the day of sport for UEA; teams, after either a resounding victory or a tragic defeat, love to go out and exercise their emotions through drinking and partying. The LCR

“I believe the solution to the problem is simple: put the fancy dress LCR on a Wednesday night!”

would almost certainly provide the perfect venue and would guarantee a hearty attendance week in, week out. And before you say it, no, Lola Lo’s drinks prices are not brilliant on a Wednesday anymore - Jaeger Bombs have gone up from £1 to £1.50 and the energy drink has been replaced with soda water. Any student can agree that this is completely unacceptable! The LCR never fails to satisfy students with their drinks prices.

Wednesday night would also wonderfully complement the current Sports Bar that takes place in the blue bar from 9pm. Any sports player knows the extreme effort that has to be put in, when in an intoxicated state, to attempt to arrange a taxi from the bar to town. I say ditch this effort, put the fancy dress LCR on a Wednesday night and suddenly fancy dress LCRs will once again be the marvel and highlight of the student week.

The views in Comment and Opinion represent those of the individual writers and do not necessarily reflect those of Concrete


ISSUE 255

COMMENT AND OPINION 13

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Thursday 31st March

A right royal party? With the impending Royal Wedding seemingly battling with Libya and Japan for media coverage, Keiren Cordery questions who even really cares about Will and Kate’s big day?

Keiren Cordery

In recent years the controversial actions of the Royal Family have sparked fierce republican-led debates. Just the other week Prince Andrew was again forced to answer uncomfortable questions, this time concerning his relations with a known sex offender.

“It would appear that whilst we cannot afford to keep open our schools and libraries we can each spare a few pounds for a lavish wedding ceremony”

The recent debate which revolves around the marriage of what will surely prove to be England’s next king is not, however, being led by the fierce outcries of left-wing republicans, but is instead more of a collective groan from a nation that just does not care. In a ComRes survey taken back in November, the majority of a sample made up of 1,006

participants cited that they just were ‘not excited’, with 31% stating that they ‘could not care less’ about the royal wedding. And why would we care? We are currently living in a time that our Government has all but labelled the ‘age of austerity’, characterised by vast spending cuts and the emergent opinion amongst our politicians that too many of us are living ‘beyond our means’. This is perhaps a line that many of us may reconsider after witnessing this state-funded act of matrimony, which is set up to be the most expensive declaration of love many of us are likely to ever see, raising the question as to whether we really are ‘all in this together’ as Mr. Cameron has proclaimed on many an occasion. It would appear that whilst we cannot afford to keep open our schools and libraries or even hang on to our forests, we can each spare a few pounds for a lavish wedding ceremony. It is, however, the media circus surrounding this whole event which is the real atrocity. Highly prioritised slots on all of the major news stations have headlines such as ‘William and Kate are having lunch’ spoken alongside updates on the rebellions in Libya. Thousands of column inches will also inevitably lead to

commemorative supplements and pull outs being found in ‘respected’ broadsheets that are worth no more in substance than that of the garbage that you can read in OK

magazine. Nevertheless, whether our ill-feelings towards this royal spectacle are rooted in apathy or genuine resentment towards the crown, it is not likely that many of us

will be complaining about an early start to a four day bank holiday weekend, one I would imagine few of us will waste watching two strangers getting married.

Illustration by Ellie Day

Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday? Will you be voting Rebecca Black for the Top 50 LCR? Charlie Wallace looks at the 13-year-old everybody is talking about and the song everyone has been caught humming this week

Charlie Wallace

When I told people I had landed the job of reviewing ‘Friday’ by teen singer Rebecca Black, they rubbed their hands in anticipation at the kind of vitriolic tirade I could put down. But I’m not going to do that, and neither should anyone. Firstly, Rebecca Black is not a scouted talent. She doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page - yet. Her parents paid a Hollywood company called Ark Music Factory to record

and release one pre-written song, like a kind of high-end experience gift package. Secondly, nobody is denying that this is a spectacularly awful song. It’s so bad it’s almost funny. Watching it I half expected her to pull off a latex mask to reveal Weird Al Yankovik. The lyrics follow her typical routine in minute detail, as she rolls her eyes at having to get up and eat cereal (like, whatever), agonises over which car seat to choose, etc. She sings ‘yesterday was Thursday, tomorrow is Saturday, and the day after will be

“I half expected her to pull off a latex mask to reveal Weird Al Yankovik”

Sundaaay’. Strange thing is, I can’t stop watching it. It’s so absurdly appalling it’s somehow transfixing. I’m not the only one. It’s currently rocketing up the charts and its YouTube video is nearing 65 million views. Simon Cowell has said he wants to meet her: “Anyone who can create this much controversy within a week, I want to meet”. It’s quickly becoming universally regarded as the worst song of all time. People are queuing up to slate it, as if it wasn’t already obvious that it’s

vomit-inducingly awful. Some comments are particularly nasty. Apparently she was brought to tears by comments such as “I hope you go cut yourself and die”. Well guess what? She’s only thirteen. You just wished death on a child. Well done. The people I am most angry with are her parents, not this deluded child. They are the ones who let her do this, exposing a 13-year-old to the bile and scorn of the entire planet. God only knows the effect this is having on her psychologically.


5pm

Alternatively, a Q&A session will take place in the Concrete office on Monday 4th April.

The deadline is 5pm on Friday 8th April


Features

Issue 255 Thursday 31st March

iControversy Apple recently removed the ‘gay-conversion’ app from its iTunes store. But its availability in the first place raises some important issues, argues Natasha Broad

C

omputer giant Apple have caused controversy recently for allowing a ‘gay conversion’ app to be sold in their iTunes store. The app, created by ‘exgay’ group Exodus International, offers users advice and support on how to ‘leave’ homosexuality, and presents the idea that sex outside of a heterosexual marriage is a sin. Apple claim to have strict guidelines about the applications that they offer, stating that “any app that is defamatory, offensive, mean-spirited, or likely to place the targeted individual or group in harms way will be rejected“, and so it is interesting that this app was approved and given a four-star rating by Apple, meaning that it is considered to contain no offensive material. Although the app has now been removed, the decision to allow it in the first place is controversial, especially since other, far less offensive apps have been rejected for being distasteful: a countdown to the end of George W. Bush’s presidency, for example, as well one that played clips and sound bites from the popular TV show South Park. The decision raises questions about the discrimination that the LGBT community is still subjected to, despite gay rights campaigns being more prominent than ever. It is unlikely that Apple

would ever have approved an antiSemitic app, and yet the so-called gay conversion app was approved, despite being equally offensive to a large group of people. According to their website, Exodus is the largest worldwide ministry that aims to help those who are ‘suffering’ from same sex attraction but who want to live a life reflecting the Christian faith. Formed in 1976, it is made up of a network of ‘cured’ homosexuals who aim to help others to reach the same freedom from homosexuality. They use a psychoanalytical, clinical process that operates under the premise that people with same sex urges are attempting to restore broken familial relationships. Although Exodus claims that a 2007 study found that attempts to change sexual orientation can be successful and are not psychologically damaging, reparative therapy is not supported by the American Psychological Association, who argue that ‘exgays’ are merely forcing themselves to live a life of self-denial. Indeed, Exodus state on their website that: “Exodus acknowledges that pursuing a relationship with God over these attractions won’t always make the feelings go away.... The point is to pursue a life beyond attractions, feelings and societal labels that is guided and defined by Jesus Christ and the truth of

Scripture.” In promoting a lifestyle that involves denying and hiding from one’s sexuality, Exodus are insinuating that homosexuality is wrong: although they claim not to advocate hate or discrimination, it is difficult to see how their attitude does not amount to the same thing. The release of the app has caused further controversy given the recent spate of suicides of young gay people in America. Given that there has been a large public campaign to encourage young people to accept their sexuality and be comfortable with themselves, gay rights groups such as Change argue that Exodus are targeting vulnerable youths by classifying their sexuality as a curable illness. The reparative therapy techniques that organizations such as Exodus offer are generally considered to be harmful to a person’s mental health and self-esteem and, given that homosexuality was considered a mental illness for many years, it seems regressive to suggest once again that it is something that can be cured. The discrimination that is faced by the LGBT community is severe enough within society without major companies such as Apple inadvertently promoting the idea that homosexuality is a curable illness, rather than a natural sexual preference. A petition was started last week by Truth Wins Out, a non-

profit organization that fights anti-gay religious extremism and promotes equality for the LGBT community. The petition received over 150,000 signatures and, more than a month after the app was first made available, Apple pulled it from iTunes store, although they are yet to make an announcement explaining their decision. It can be assumed that the strength of the opposition to the app is the reasoning behind its removal and, although its removal is undoubtedly a good thing for gay

rights, the fact that it was approved in the first place raises many questions about the way in which homosexuality is perceived within society. How is it that, although racism, sexism and anti-Semitism are considered completely unacceptable, homophobia is still considered to be a less offensive form of discrimination? If this is the case, when will the LGBT community receive the same level of respect within society as other minority groups?


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16 FEATURES

The making of an empire With a controversial history of global media dominance, Adam Fenwick looks at the possible implications of his BSkyB takeover

I

t is a contentious issue; Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation is set to takeover the remaining 60.9% of shares it doesn’t already own of Britsh subscription television service BSkyB. In a modern world of cross-media ownership with a small minority of corporate moguls owning and controlling the majority of the world media, why should this be a major issue? Perhaps because Murdoch’s in�luence regularly reaches three-quarters of the worlds population. Jeremy Hunt, although he approved the acquisition, was right to be cautious. Murdoch’s history is somewhat controversial to say the least. Since his career beginnings taking over his fathers’ local newspaper in Australia when he was 22, he acquired more local newspapers before expanding into the UK, USA and various other countries around the world. Decades

later, Murdoch’s interests have diversi�ied; television networks, internet sites and publishing houses are just a handful of his diversi�ied interests. But with great power comes great in�luence. Murdoch’s newspapers have always outwardly supported certain political parties. The Sun’s now infamous headline ‘It’s The Sun Wot Won It’ is a prime example of this. The red-top tabloid backed the Conservative party back in 1992 that led to them being, somewhat unexpectedly, elected into Parliament. Since then it has supported the Labour party under Tony Blair’s leadership and, in the recent elections, shifted its political allegiance back to David Cameron’s Conservatives. The political allegiances of the press is nothing new; media laws in the UK state that newspapers are allowed to be politically partisan, that is to outwardly support a

“Why is the BSkyB takeover such an issue? Perhaps because Murdoch’s in�luence regularly reaches threequarters of the worlds population.”

politician or their party. Television, however, is different; networks must remain neutral in their coverage of politics and not support a particular party. However, in the USA, television networks do not adopt the same approach. Murdoch’s Fox News Channel has previously been supportive of George W. Bush and Republican party candidates and highly critical of current President Barack Obama and the Democratic party. The controversial news network recently condoned former President George W. Bush’s decision to use waterboarding on suspected terrorists stating that it was a necessary move to prevent a huge loss of American life. Murdoch’s editorial stances across his News Corporation empire, it can be argued, are directly linked to the moguls’ relationships with rising prominent �igures in the political world. He regularly meets world leaders and politicians that,

some believe, lay the foundations for his often biased output, supporting political �igures that allow him to expand his global multi-media empire. Furthermore, it was reported that, after his resignation from the role of Prime Minister, Tony Blair was offered a job by Murdoch at News Corporation. So what are the implications for BSkyB? Given Murdoch’s previous track record, the concern is that he will use the Sky News subsidiary to further his own political agendas. Culture secretary Jeremy Hunt recognised this problem and stipulated that, in order for the buyout to go ahead, Sky News must be spun out into a separate independent company free from interference from News Corporation. There are sceptics, though; in a joint letter by the Daily Telegraph, Daily Mirror, Daily Mail and Guardian newspapers, they state that the buyout would “make

“The buyout would ‘make Sky News almost entirely dependent on News Corporation.’”

Sky News almost entirely dependent on News Corporation” and that “it would be fanciful to expect that Sky News will enjoy any meaningful independence”. The letter also addressed concerns about how the buyout would affect the output of Murdoch’s other media companies; “it would be ‘clearly unrealistic’ to expect that Sky News would ‘rigorously investigate’ if, for example, another News of the World phone hacking scandal emerged.” Despite this, the buyout is ready to go ahead. The effects may not be so obviously felt by the consumers of News Corporation’s products but, then again, the effects of the media on audiences and readers has always been a controversial topic. One thing is for sure, though: there is a continuing trend of more of the media being controlled by a small number of moguls like Murdoch.

Mudoch’s media portfolio


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Thursday 31st March

More than just ‘light-entertainment’? Jonathan Brady examines the problems raised by Glee’s recent controversial song choice

A

t what point does a light entertainment show stop being so ‘light’? In an upcoming episode of the American musical show Glee, titled ‘Sexy’, Gwyneth Paltrow duets with the rest of the cast to another glamrock song from the 1970s, ‘Do You Wanna Touch Me’. But some fans of the series are not singing along to this catchy number - and with just cause - because the original singer is banned from entering nineteen countries around the world, is on the Sex Offenders’ Register and, as it turns out, is a convicted paedophile. For those of you who cannot quite place the song to the artist, (and I confess, neither could I) it is of course, the man himself, Gary Glitter. At the pinnacle of his career he was considered a pop sensation with more memorable hits like ‘I’m the Leader of the Gang (I am)’ storming the charts. But over the last decade he has become a persona non grata, with radio slowly giving him less airtime as he adds more convictions to his already ‘criminal’ criminal record. But if any primetime TV show were going to play devil’s advocate and once again challenge our social prejudices, it would be Glee. Possibly creating a new

‘musical dramedy’ genre, and the spawn of such classics as The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Glee has soared in ratings both in the US and around the world with its wide appeal crossing most age groups, even on a post-watershed slot. Much of its success is down to the celebrity cameos the show manages to cast, including Britney Spears, Olivia Newton-John and in this controversial episode Gwyneth Paltrow. Paltrow, who is looking to break into the music industry with a rumoured one million dollar record deal, was the voice behind the new cover of the Glee-Glitter song. The song is currently charting in the top 30 of the US iTunes charts. For Glitter, this means royalties, but for Glee, any association with Gary Glitter is bound to attract controversy. Such criticism came in the form of childrens’ charity Kidscape who quite rightly made the association between Glitter’s reputations as a convicted paedophile and Paltrow’s Glee cover set in the context of a sex education lesson. While there is no denying the link, it raises an important problem that perhaps TV is not quite addressing: At what point can the art be disassociated from the artist? It is definitely not the first, nor the last time such a problem will be

contested. Flaubert’s nineteenth century novel Madame Bovary is a case in point with its rampant sex scenes deemed too explicit for middle-class Victorian society that consequently led to Flaubert’s trial and eventual release. The beloved German composer Richard Wagner is said to have influenced Hitler’s anti-Semitic political beliefs and led to the eventual rise of the Nazi party. And much more recently we saw Mel Gibson’s anti-Semitic comments damage his Hollywood reputation as he was dropped from most of his talent-pool agencies. It seems then much harder for a reader, listener or viewer not to make the associations between the artist and their art that we do, especially when by their very nature, the novel, song or film is also, paradoxically, very popular. The Daily Mail published an online news article on the GleeGlitter song in question. The article quotes from Claude Knight of children’s charity Kidscape who says, “It is regrettable the producers did not consider the implication of using such a track”, as well as, “The fact it is linked to Gary Glitter, and the words themselves, make it wholly inappropriate”. But the Daily Mail deemed it appropriate to follow this article

“If any primetime TV show were going to play devil’s advocate and once again challenge our social prejudices, it would be Glee.”

with an actual embedded YouTube clip of the full performance of the Glee-Glitter song in question, completely undermining everything that Kidscape and Knight had just said. Clearly the newspaper consider themselves editorially justified because, like Glitter, they themselves are a brand for most things controversial. That a national broadsheet like the Daily Mail is so indifferent to the Glee uproar probably isn’t saying much. In fact, being labelled inappropriate is probably not such a bad thing, when any publicity is good publicity, and being able to verge close to the edge of taboo, without overtly discriminating or offending is what shows like Glee like to test. Not to mention that most of the viewing demographic, which are between 18-25, won’t have been aware of the paedophilic allusions that the show was (un) intentionally trying to foreground. What Glee fans will probably be more concerned about is whether a third series has been commissioned, which has now been confirmed. So rest assured, we can probably expect even more risqué episodes, with more GleeGlitter covers, or perhaps even a cover of the acclaimed ‘Worse song in the world’ ‘It’s Friday’, by YouTube sensation Rebecca Black.


ISSUE 255

concrete.editorial@uea.ac.uk

www.concrete-online.co.uk

FOCSOC 19

Nightline: Here to listen, not lecture Fiona Howard Nightline

Nightline has been there for the students of UEA as far back as most people can remember. Stocked full of biscuits, condoms and support, they’ve been there for students through the long, sometimes lonely, nights of university. Founded in the early 80s Nightline began as a room in Norfolk Terrace offering a place for people to drop in. It then moved to its current location of Suffolk Terrace in 2005. As of 2011, UEA Nightline offers the most service of any other National Nightline. You can call, text, email or online chat with its volunteers, or actually dropin if there is anything you needed to talk about face-to-face. Nightline is there to listen to any worries you might have and is completely confidential; from providing taxi numbers and takeaway details, to offering out condoms post-LCR or giving you a place to blow off steam during a late night library session. This past year has seen Nightline go from

strength to strength culminating in winning National Nightline’s award for ‘Most Improved Nightline’ at the National AGM in mid-March. Nightline was also nominated for three Union Awards: ‘Progress as a Society’, ‘Service to the Union’, and this year’s external coordinator for ‘Volunteer of the Year’. An ecstatic committee was very proud to accept the award for ‘Progress as a Society’ at the awards. An emphatic thank you has to be given to the 187 volunteers who make the work Nightline do possible. This year has been a big one for publicity and fundraising. The annual PokerSoc and Nightline Poker event raised the grand sum of £122. Sunday March 27th saw 36 teams register for the Nightline pub quiz raising a grand total of £200, making sure that Nightline continues to provide its great service. Not only that, you’re sure to have seen the Nightline Bear making appearances around campus; even turning up for a fundraising night out at Lola Lo’s. With all that, maybe next year you’ll be looking at National Nightlines’ new ‘Best Nightline of the Year’!

Marathon success for Jafar

On Sunday 13th March 2011, Palestinian PhD student Jafar Ojra completed the Larking Gowen Norwich 13-mile half marathon in just 1 hour and 37 minutes. Jafar, a former INTO UEA student who is now in his first year of Accounting, managed to raise a fantastic £375 for the INTO-Giving charity. After crossing the finish line, he said: “I can’t feel my legs, but this is a small sacrifice to make in helping to raise money

towards building the Orphans and Vulnerable Children’s Centre in Zambia. I want to help those children have a future.” “I would like to thank all people who have encouraged and sponsored me, as well as the volunteers who have helped to organise this event. They were very, very friendly with us.” In the wake of his success, Jafar is now hoping to run the London Marathon next year.

Terry Tasker, Chris McCrave, Greg Lewry, Georgie Maltby, Louisa Saldanha, Steph Learmonth



ISSUE 255

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Thursday 31st March

Letters Dear Concrete, I was just reading another fine issue of Concrete when I came across the article on Nitrous Oxide, and found what I believe to be a one sided take on its use as a recreational substance. Now, I for one would never condone the use of any drug without knowing at least some of the basics behind long term effects, and am in no way stating that NOS is definitively safe. However, I do have some objections to the style of the article and its claims to “shine an illuminating light on the issue”. Firstly, I must applaud the article’s author for making it clear that the legality of a drug by no means defines its safety. However, I believe this says more about the government’s rash approach to drug law than it does about drug safety, and I for one would side with Prof Nutt; who was dismissed

LETTERS 21

Concrete wants to hear from you. Whether you have read something you agree or disagree with in Concrete, or just have something you want to say to the students of UEA, we want to hear what you have to say. Just email concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk

from the AMCD after making the statistically valid claim that horse riding is more dangerous than taking ecstasy. My major gripes with the article are firstly “NOS is still drug abuse”. One could actually argue that without long term side effects (which the article does not include) that this is drug use, not abuse. Secondly and most importantly the statement that NOS could “join cannabis as a gateway drug”. Given that the existence of gateway drugs is still a highly debated and controversial topic, it would seem naive in the extreme to make such a tenuous link. The immediate and longer term impacts of alcohol abuse consistently rate higher than many illegal drugs, and yet this readily available and accepted form of legal drug use is not mentioned at all. Phil


Lifestyle

Issue 255 Thursday 31st March

Do the Union Elections matter to the student body? Concrete explores the reasons why some students may feel apathetic or disinterested towards the recent Union Elections. Hasina Allen

Lifestyle writer

Did you vote in the recent Union Elections? According to the results of the “Have you voted yet poll?” on ueastudent.com (the Union’s website) on the day before the elections closed, 29% of participants in the poll answered “Nah, don’t think I will either!” A very unscientific survey conducted by this reporter showed a similar result. Just under half of the twenty or so people that were asked if they intended to vote in the elections said no, with a group of five incomprehensibly claiming not to have even known the elections were occurring, despite being surrounded by campaign posters and candidates offering to answer questions. It seems that despite the recent student activism surrounding the coalitions spending cuts on education and other public services, many of us have remained apathetic to the campus politics that affect our university experience directly. For most UEA students the first real encounter with the Union is through the Union Handbook. In the handbook this reporter received, along with an Original Source shower gel sample and an energy

drink, in her Freshers’ welcome pack in the 2009, the Union described itself as: “an organisation which... plays a really important role on campus... it provides a voice for UEA students. Through the collective voice of the Union we can take issues that affect students to the University committees and beyond to make sure we’re heard loud and clear.” This year the Union are pulling out all the stops to make the election campaigns as prominent as possible, and persuade the 29% who say they won’t vote for whatever reasons to change their mind. Along with the campaign posters and bed sheets currently brightening the square, manifesto booklets have been left around the Hive as well as all the information on the Union’s website.

“It’s also not clear enough what previous candidates accomplished”

So why do some of us still not care? One third year student, who requested to remain anonymous, informed me that he had no motivation to vote for something that “I am past caring about and ultimately isn’t that important to me.” He readily confessed to never having

Clive Cares

Dear Clive,

I want to get my male housemate with a really good April fools prank, any suggestions? 2nd year Politics Student

Clive says: I hope your housemate has a sense of humour because the good old clingfilm over the toilet comes to mind. It sounds a bit crude but anyway, whatever you decide to do, I hope you have fun and nobody is hurt or injured with any pranks that may be made. Take care.

Dear Clive,

It’s mine and my girlfriend’s anniversary next week and I want to take her out for a romantic evening meal, any restaurants in Norwich you would suggest, Clive? 3rd Year Science student

Clive says: There are so many good restaurants in Norwich and the choice is endless so may I suggest a romantic candlelight meal with at Yemek. I am told that it is the only Turkish Restaurant in Norwich. I have acquired some information for you should you

voted in a Union Election during his time here. So does he think that nothing needs to change about the way the Union and University are run? “No, but I’m here to focus on my studies and then get out.” The more common attitude displayed by the survey was a lack of understanding as to the impact that the Union Council actually has on our university experience. People seemed to feel that nothing would change whether they voted or not, and these are doubts that second year American and English Literature student Elizabeth Jackson can relate to. Elizabeth recognises the importance of getting involved with Union Elections but argues that last year there was: “not clear

enough description of the roles and how the candidates’ aims match the role. It’s also not clear enough what previous candidates accomplished. I’m not sure how much they can do as students, sometimes they seem like token roles with limited power.” However, when asked if she would be voting in this year’s elections Elizabeth assured me that “It’s still important to vote and you can’t avoid the campaigning.” In an article about the 2010 student protests surrounding the increase in fees, BBC News reminds us that “Student politics is dominated by a few interested people, in the same way that any university society is.” However, when dealing with an organisation that represents our community to the University and

runs the stores and entertainment on campus that the majority of us rely on this cannot be allowed to happen. If the “Have you voted yet?” poll is accurately reflective of the percentage of students voting in the Union Elections this year then we have a higher turnout than the General Election, but as such a small community and with so many convenient ways of voting not taking the chance to make changes seems sad. Whatever your position on the effectiveness of the Union, voting is your way of directing change, so if you were in the 29% who did not vote this year, unless you have no complaints at all, then Concrete hope next year you will make the choice to get involved.

UEA’s favourite bus driver, Clive Ashcroft, answers your questions and worries

Email Clive your concerns anonymously to clivecaresconcrete@ gmail.com, or follow us on Facebook: Clive Cares wish to visit the restaurant. It is situated on St Stephens Road should you wish to book a table. I hope I have been some help and whatever you decide, I hope you enjoy your anniversary together and may I just say this is not intended as an advertisement but purely a suggestion. Thank you and take care.


ISSUE 255

LIFESTYLE 23

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Thursday 31st March

Clash of the campus coffee titans

The global flux of foreign foods

Concrete sends out a reporter to investigate Campus’ coffee outlets

Globalisation sweeps the world and carries food in its wake

Aroma Beansworthy

Lifestyle writer

Some would say that there is more to life than a perfect cappuccino. They obviously haven’t lived. As students trapped in an endless cycle of late nights and 9 o’clock seminars (ouch) coffee is the only way us caffeine addicts make it through the day. Yes, economy makes us sometimes opt for instant coffee in a flask, but when the going gets tough, an on-campus coffee is what the doctor ordered for those deadline blues. Yet where does one go to sip this precious nectar before cold, hard, seminar-based reality comes down on your hungover head? UEA offers coffee in several of its on campus eateries, and this reporter went on a mission to find out which one is the best choice.

The Hive

The Union’s cafe outpost is famed for its smoothies, but the coffees don’t look too bad at first; there’s no getting away from the fact that coffee is just better in a proper mug rather than a paper cup. The coffee itself is pretty good too, with a strong ratio of foam to coffee shot. Priced at £1.20 I am finding it somewhat hard to complain.

The Blend

The Blend is ideally located near the lecture theatres for those soporific moments where the lecturer’s voice becomes just too soothing. The coffee, however, is one of those sorry sub-standard gritty lattes masquerading as a cappuccino. It hardly tastes of coffee at all! Granted, adding one’s own chocolate dusting on top is a novelty, but it isn’t enough; this is only acceptable for

the truly desperate.

The Bar

Here’s a little secret (particularly useful on Sundays, when everything else is shut): coffee is available behind the Union bar for the glorious price of 70p! The cappuccino isn’t great, but a normal black coffee does the trick if you fancy a quick caffeine injection. You can also ask for a mug.

Cafe Direct

Really the king of coffee on campus (in regards to standards, and unfortunately also with price), Cafe Direct is the place to come when you want to treat yourself. The cappuccinos are very good, nicely foamy with an excellent caffeine hit. But at £1.40 for a regular size, this isn’t one for every day.

Mustard’s pungent aroma of ground coffee beans Doneck Sewell Lifestyle writer

The bizarre mishmash layout of Norwich city centre pits the consumer giants of Chapelfield and Castle Mall against the less auspicious cobbled side streets. The Malls provide promises of endless well-being pushed from both sides of the clean linoleum floor. Your image is presented to you from an array of mirrors craftily pointed your way, leading to an unavoidable assessment of your own value in the world. The amalgamation of shops offer an escape from this, what Don Dellilo described as ‘existential

credit’. Fortunately there is a world beyond this happy hollow display of meaningless transaction. If you are in Norwich and wish to escape the seduction of the green

“The service

is enthusiastic and friendly”

Starbucks Medusa, the tapestry adorned walls of Café Nero or the illuminated red lamp lit Costa Coffee then there is really only one alternative: The Mustard Coffee Bar situated in Bridewell Alley.

The Mustard Coffee Bar provides a unique pleasure for a number of reasons. The service is enthusiastic and friendly, you really get the sense that there is great care put into the making of the food and coffee. The Americano is oily, which may not sound appealing, but is what a good black coffee should be. You can tell the food has been locally sourced, purely by the flavour (try the oat biscuits). The seating consists of comfortable bar stools at the back of the shop. The walls are full of art and information about coffee which provide a welcome break from the coffee shop standard canvasses of Italian people laughing and sipping espresso.

Lauren Razavi

Lifestyle writer

Globalisation is a term often bounded around by the media, and its meaning is often a mystery, even to those using it. It largely refers to a set of processes that spread to different cultures throughout the world, and to the technologies that allow us to be aware of what’s happening across the world within just a few minutes of an event. A cultural area that isn’t often explored in its ‘globalising’ context is food, and yet it’s an area of our everyday lives where we can see this happening. From the interesting fusions of food that appear on our television screens through hugely popular programmes like Masterchef to the myriad of ethnic takeaway foods available on every other

street throughout city centres, the UK’s diet is a mammoth mix of importing and exporting culture. Average Joe might view a late-night curry after a night of drinking as a very British concept, but they’ll likely be ingesting a cross-cultural meal of Indian or Asian origin. This culinary variation isn’t a new concept either – European countries have been importing the tasty produce of far flung lands in the form of spices, teas and delicacies for several hundred years. So while defining globalisation and understanding its strenuous political and economic impacts might remain a weighty task, why not get involved in the greatest part of globalisation? Pick up an exotic cookbook, visit that mysterious foreign market and cook yourself up a fusion food feast!


24 LIFESTYLE

www.concrete-online.co.uk

ISSUE 255

concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk

Over De Flames’ mammoth burger challenge Over De Flames restaurant in Norwich city centre recently challenged us to complete their ‘Challenge Burger’, a colossal 4.5kg of meat, bread and cheese. Never one to turn down a challenge, we sent our writer Ian Hobbs down to put his appetite to the ultimate test. Here’s how he got on...

I

f you’re looking for something different to do with your spare time in the near future, why not partake in the 4kg burger challenge at local restaurant, Over De Flames, in town. According to the English language, the word challenge is defined as ‘a test of one’s abilities or resources in a demanding but stimulating undertaking’. I certainly discovered this to be true as Concrete sent me to investigate further into this epic pursuit. The premise of the challenge is you must complete a 4kg burger containing two large beef patties weighing in at combined 3kg, along with a smothering of cheese as well as lettuce and onion. If you’re thinking that sounds like a walk in the park, there is also a hefty bowl of chips and a pint of milkshake to negotiate. Added to this, it’s worth noting each burger in a Big Mac weighs 45.5g, meaning it’s the equivalent of a whopping 33 Big Mac’s worth of burger . The privilege of carrying out this challenge will set you back £30 but should you complete the beast of delicacy you will be rewarded with a cash prize of £200. All you have to do is complete the meal in less than two hours, without taking a lavatorial pitstop. I had a good 24 hours to prepare for this challenge, but had no idea where to start. Some people said to starve myself, some said to snack all day before - sadly I’d never met someone with the necessary experience to get pointers from. As I sat down to enjoy the burger the staff informed me I was the 45th person to undertake the challenge, and the 44 before me had not achieved it. This didn’t inspire me with confidence, and when the colossal orgy of calories arrived I was a little worried that I should have written my last will and testament before leaving the house that day. To my surprise the burger itself was of fantastic quality, and for the first half hour it was quite the culinary delight, but as the hour mark approached I began to feel the heat. I had always been aware of the term ‘meat sweats’, but nothing prepared me for what

Stat Box

• 3kg of meat • 1kg of bun

• One pint of milkshake

• £200 pound cash prize

happened just after the hour mark when I began to sweat like an Englishman in the midsummer sun. Throughout the challenge, the staff were very friendly and even other customers came to offer their support. One spoke of how he previously undertook the challenge and only made it about halfway, as well as mentioning how his 20-stone friend - and former Britain’s strongest man if you believe everything the locals tell you - was only able to get through about half of the meal. My plan had been to avoid the bun, which was about twice the circumference of my face and concentrate only on the meat, but about 90 minutes in I felt as if I was drunk on meat, with each and every bite I started to wonder if I’d spontaneously combust. With about 15 minutes of the time remaining I threw the towel in with less than half the meat consumed and I hadn’t even made in roads into the wheel sized bun and sizeable portion of chips. The challenge was great fun and I’d suggest it to anyone who fancies it, the pleasure is worth the pain and the banter was great too. Owner of the restaurant, Sudeep De, informed us later in the year he will attempt to break the Guinness World Record for the largest burger ever made, so keep your eyes open for this in the future. Over De Flames are also looking to offer eating challenges in the future, with super-hot chillies, 18-inch hotdogs and oversized desserts all possibilities. If you have any suggestions for future challenges find the Over De Flames Facebook page and let them know!

Staring into the nothingness of failure. Most of the burger lies out of shot.

Ian eyes his challenge with a fitting knife and a miniature fork.

A small bite for Ian; a great bite for mankind.

After a prolonged battle to consume it, the burger almost swallows Ian.


write for Concrete is your student newspaper. If you have a story you want to share, an opinion you want to get off your chest or a band you want to review, get in touch. Any UEA student can write for Concrete, and we want you to get involved! Email concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk with the sections you would like to write for, or any article ideas you have. Remember, we’ll be recruiting next year too. Come and see us at Socmart in September.


26 INTERNATIONAL

ISSUE 255

www.concrete-online.co.uk

concrete.international@uea.ac.uk

The Japanese Tsunami and Earthquake

This issue, Concrete International explores how the devastating tsunami and earthquake in Japan has affected our very own UEA students and highlights the numerous charitable efforts around campus

The tragedy’s impact on UEA’s students Ines Guita

International Writer

On March 11th, the biggest earthquake ever in Japanese history struck the country. It was even more devastating because of the terrible tsunami and the explosion at the Fukushima nuclear power plant. The whole world is currently trying to help the people who live in the areas affected by this natural disaster, with actions such as fundraising and artists’ collaborations. At UEA, there reside a lot of Japanese students and their reactions and feelings to the tragedy are quite similar. They are all shocked and worried about who were directly affected, for example in the region of Osaka, Sho Ueda’s family is safe, but he has no news from some friends even though he has tried to contact them. Another girl has not managed to contact her friends either, so she checks everyday on the Internet for any news of their situation. Several of these Japanese students first heard of the earthquake either through the news or their friends, and only afterwards they were able to contact their family.

Many do not really have enough information on what happened exactly or regarding help efforts from the government. Chika Urakawa thinks the government is not spending enough money to help to build new houses. According to her, the evacuation effort is proving even more stressful due to the fear over radiation leaks. She thinks it is very hard to mount a rescue operation in a nuclear contamination area, so she thinks nuclear power plants should be banned.

“It was even more devastating because of the terrible tsunami and the explosion of the Fukushima nuclear power plant with all its radiations”

On the contrary, Sho Ueda didn’t know about the nuclear issue before this earthquake, and even though he recognizes it was a mistake to put plants on faultlines, he believes Japan needs nuclear power plants. As well, he strongly thinks that the government is providing enough help to the affected people, but must take steps to better prepare the

public for future natural disasters. From now on, “I’m more afraid of the earthquakes,” he says. He and Chika Urakawa both appreciate the donations and

A penny for your thought Rachael Lum

International Writer

When Japan was hit by an earthquake in March, the world was utterly shocked by the tragic event. At UEA the student community decided to set up ‘Charity for Nippon’ to aid the situation. Under the umbrella of this charity group, there has been a collaboration of clubs and societies such as the Japanese, South East Asian, Malaysian and Thai societies, to raise funds for the Japanese Red Cross. Coinciding with UEA’s Charity Week, various events have been carried out since the March 13th to collect donations. Students were encouraged to add to the relief fund by approaching society members who were dressed in kigus (Japanese animal suits). INTO has also been running

several donation drives in the Centre; while in the Union Pub origami cranes, a symbol of world peace, were distributed to those who had donated.

“The total amount

collected by the group so

far is estimated to be over £6000.”

This project continued in all departments of the University, lasting past the Charity Week. With the help of keen students, each School was able to make their contributions. Other large-scale events have been promptly organised to support the charity. Over the weeks, there has been a Japanese goods and food sale, a bake sale and a barbeque social. An invitation to sports enthusiasts

came in the form of a badminton and football tournament on the 26th and 29th March respectively for reasonable entry fees. The total amount collected by the group so far is estimated to be over £6000, which would go entirely to the Japanese Red Cross to aid the situation in Japan. Yuuka Matsumae, the president of ‘Charity for Nippon’, would like to thank those “who have donated and cooperated with our charity group”. Nonetheless, the initiatives are still ongoing, with donation boxes set up around campus. A meet and greet event will be held on the April 6th in the Congregation Hall at 7pm. There will also be food booths in the Hive selling Japanese food and demonstrating traditional paper crafts. Those who are still looking to maintain this spirit of giving are able to do so until April 8th.

the worldwide charitable efforts to aid the disaster victims. They particularly “thank the British population very much” and they are happy that everyone helps together.

There are fundraising events in UEA’s INTO building, so please offer your help and bring your money and thoughts to the Japanese students, their families and the whole country.


ISSUE 255

TURF 27

www.concrete-online.co.uk

concrete.turf@uea.ac.uk

A tax on the aviation industry? In the face of heavy spending cuts the aviation industry continues to avoid the chop. Becky Hazlewood reports. Becky Hazlewood Turf Reporter

Activist group Take VAT object to tax evasion

The world is becoming hungrier and hungrier for air travel. Last minute weekend get-aways for a spot of sun on are becoming next to normal and, with ludicrously cheap seat prices being offered by the budget airlines, a weekend in Majorca may end up cheaper than a night at the LCR. A quick Google search for cheap flights can be rewarded with a trip from Birmingham to Barcelona for £11 return - even the delights of Birmingham in early spring might not be enough to resist prices such as these. As heart warming as the constant availability of an escape route from our cold and dreary dayto-day routine may be, in the same way that chocolate doesn’t come without calories, nor does cheap and readily available air travel come without a price; although unfortunately, the hidden price of air travel is irreversible and dangerous. Emissions from air transport are contributing significantly to global warming. This poses the question: Why is the aviation industry allowed to avoid tax? Recent protests at Heathrow

Airport highlighted growing public objection towards the aviation sector. Whilst VAT has increased across the board, the air industry is still exempt from paying tax on aircraft and fuel, a condition still in place from the birth of the industry when tax exemption was needed for initial growth. It has been suggested that if aviation fuel was taxed at the same rate as petrol this would contribute £10 billion a year to the Treasury, enough to build 25 new hospitals. Some view the industry’s contribution to greenhouse gas emissions as minimal: They account for only 7% of the UK’s carbon emissions and 3% of the EU’s greenhouse gas emissions. However, aviation emissions are even more dangerous than emissions produced at ground level and they continue to increase at an alarming rate. Whereas other sectors are managing to stabilise or reduce their emissions, the industry is responsible for an 87% increase in carbon emissions since 1990. Various strategies to regulate the industry in the past have been used, but they have mainly focused on passenger duty tax. The cost is passed to the passenger rather than the industry, flights go ahead

without any penalty to the airline and the same level of pollution is produced. A more efficient means of reducing emissions would be to impose a tax on emissions from fuels used for flights. This would encourage airlines to make aircraft more efficient and incentivise research and development into less environmentally harmful fuels. Frustratingly for environmentalists, there already exists great potential for increasing efficiency in the aviation sector, by changes in engine and airframe technology and simple measures for better traffic control practises and more direct flight paths. These achievable changes could increase efficiency of the sector by up to 50%. The probability of imposing these measures boils down to political will, public pressure and industry compliance. Giving up cheap weekend breaks and business trips that could be replaced with internet conferencing would help ensure the future sustainability of travel and reduce the social and environmental costs resulting from global warming. Whether this is a sacrifice we are willing to make may become less of a choice and more of an obligation.

Radioactive limelight on Japan The humanitarian crisis in Japan is overlooked as paranoia over a nuclear meltdown grips the agenda Drew Senior Turf Reporter

Over 2,000 bodies have been washed up onto the beaches of north east Japan since the tsunami struck on March 11th. 17,000 have been reported as dead or missing, a figure that is certain to rise, while over 500,000 people have lost their homes. The reaction to this devastation from politicians and large segments of the world’s media is, however, one of worry over financial markets and the safety of nuclear power. The people of Japan are in danger of being overlooked for a situation that, at present, is under control, and is unlikely to become the disaster

Hollywood would have us believe. Explosions from two of the three reactors after the earthquake fuelled fears of another environmental disaster similar to the devastation Chernobyl. However, the explosions affected the outer casings designed to protect the plant from weather damage. Despite only limited damage to the reactor, an eighteen mile exclusion zone was established as radiation levels around the Fukushima plant reached 11mSv per hour. In comparison, background radiation is averaged at 2.2mSv per year. Ultimately, the incident constituted a ‘limited release’ of radiation. No recorded health effects outside the plant grounds

were reported. Despite the situation reportedly being under control, Switzerland and Germany have temporarily halted their nuclear programmes and Friends of the Earth are pressing the UK Government for similar action, on the grounds that if Japan’s acclaimed safety systems are being stretched, European systems should be reviewed. The authorities in Japan, however, have succeeded thus far in avoiding a nuclear disaster. The plant was protected sufficiently to ensure the earthquake made little impact, and the majority of the damage was a result of the tsunami preventing power reaching the cooling systems,

causing the reactor to over-heat. Six days later and power cables have been reconnected to restart the main cooling process and avoid a meltdown situation whereby uranium and plutonium would be exposed. At present, therefore, fears over the safety of a nuclear power appear premature, as despite the promise of nuclear disaster, the response to the hazard has ensured the effects have been reduced. Attention to the nuclear turmoil ensured a rapid response and quelled the risk to the population surrounding Fukushima. The focus now needs to be on those who have lost everything, and repairing the damage for the sake of Japan’s future generations.


28 TRAVEL

Seeking the centre of America Emma Galal searches for the beauty spots of Central America, typified by tropical forests, glistening seas, trembling volcanoes and exotic beaches - but discovers that the turtles have got there first... Whether your interest lies in volunteering, acquiring a language, zip-lining through the jungle at seventy miles per hour or simply in topping up your tan on a secluded sun-kissed shore, Central America is a traveller’s paradise. Often overshadowed from north and south, this relatively small region comprises of eight marvellously diverse and inspiring countries. Guatemala is a vibrant and eclectic country, which has preserved its culture much more successfully than most others within Central America. Although relatively untouched by the pitfalls of modern tourism, what one will find in ‘Guate’ - as it is affectionately deemed by locals - is an abundance of language schools and countless institutions and NGO’s for those wishing to spend some time volunteering. Although English is widely spoken in Central America, at least some knowledge of Spanish is desirable whilst travelling the region, particularly if venturing off the beaten track. A trip would not be complete without visiting the tranquil zones of Panajachel and Lake Atitlan. The town of Chichicastenango transforms itself into a colourful marketplace every Thursday and Sunday, where tourists can purchase souvenirs whilst contending with elderly Guatemalan women bustling about their daily lives. The beautiful zone of Flores and the Rio Dulce are

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a short trip away from the mystical Mayan ruins of Tikal which are comparable to the sights of Macchu Pichu. Guatemala is an unexploited home from home, where money goes far, which explains why so many people end up staying. Adrenaline junkies will struggle to sample all of the activities Costa Rica has to offer in just one trip. As one of the largest countries within Central America, English is widely spoken and trade is via the dollar.

“...visit an active volcano by night and bathe in natural hot springs.”

However, this does come at a cost. In comparison to other Pan-American countries, Costa Rica is somewhat devoid of culture, with expensive tourism functioning in its place. It is not uncommon for street vendors and tour companies to opt for the hard sell, so do not be offended if traders are overly forward. Despite this, one thing that Costa Rica does offer is fun. The country appears to hold every activity possible on the endlessly generic lists of ‘things you must do before you die’ and most ventures are not for the faint-hearted. Professional tour companies offer the opportunity to go white water rafting in level five waters, zip-line high above the tree

tops, visit an active volcano by night and bathe in natural hot springs. A spectacular sight is afforded with the opportunity to see giant turtles return to their place of birth during the summer months, to rear their own young on moonlit shores; a truly captivating occasion. On the Caribbean coast is the hidden treasure of Puerto Viejo, with its clear waters and coconut palms which instantly welcomes you into the Caribbean vibe. Rocking J’s is a memorable location to stay and be at one with nature, with sloths and monkeys casually grazing the area. This hostel offers hammocks, tents, shared cabins and luxury suites at backpacker prices and is itself partially biodegradable. The Caribbean Coast of Costa Rica particularly embodies the national motto ‘Pura Vida’ translating as ‘the good life’ which has become a form of greeting, thanks or simply acknowledgement amongst nationals and tourists alike. Every country within this region has something unique to offer visitors and the Greyhound and Tika buses enable travellers to roam quickly and easily between countries at a fraction of the airfare. If one seeks a distinctive travelling experience, fusing language, history and culture with an aromatic blend of food and people - venturing to the heart of the Americas in search of your own pura vida will not disappoint.

Thursday 31st March

Home is where the Yurt is Tom Hunt Travel Editor

It’s been called ‘glamping’, but there is nothing glamorous about sitting in a smoky yurt, sharing your sleeping space with creepy crawlies while the damp trickles in. You’re still in the woods. Traditionally, the sturdy yurt consists of a wooden frame, blanketed in thick woolly felt and inhabited by nomad peoples of the Mongolian steppes, but the structures are becoming ever more popular in warmer parts of the UK. For those who want a more comfortable experience than a fragile tent canvas can provide, the thicker walls and larger dome of a yurt allow for spacious snugness through the coldest winter nights. It would, indeed, be a struggle to fit a bunk-bed inside a flimsy tent, but in here there is still room for a sofa, a bookshelf and, best of all, a cosy little log-burner. The logs must be self-supplied, however, which is a bit of a problem if you have no experience with an axe. Hearty chops are not encouraged, unless you want to take a chip out

of your ankle. Lighting fires is then another matter entirely and, pending success, the smoke will begin to billow merrily out of the chimney. Inevitably not all of it will. Some prefers to hang around in the yurt, creating a murky miasma and making everything, from your socks to your hair, stink of woodsmoke. Nevertheless, the warmth is welcome and the mercury can rise up to a concerning 52 degrees Celsius inside, even if it is snowing outside! The heat will bring the bugs scuttling in through any available crevice, so be sure not to sleep with your mouth open, unless you like munching millipedes. It may not be glamorous but at least you wake up warm whatever the weather and can step out of your hobbit-sized wooden door at dawn for a blast of forest freshness to start your day.

The Lights and Lows of Los Angeles Kathryn Deighan Travel writer

Los Angeles; City of Angels; the land of the rich and famous. This city comes with a hefty amount of stereotypes. Yes, some of these are based on truth. It does house the cast of The Hills - nonetheless do not be fooled. All cities have their own little quirks; this does not mean you have to go anywhere near them. LA is such an enormous place it can accommodate anyone and anything, and this includes students. Primarily LA is known for Hollywood and it is worth going to see. You cannot go to LA without glimpsing the Hollywood sign, Walk of Fame or Kodak Theatre (home of the Oscars) while stopping at Mel’s Drive-In, an amazing 1950s diner. These do not take long to complete, especially considering as Hollywood is not a particularly nice place, unless you enjoy sex shops and tourists. If you wish to be the ultimate tourist you can go on a star tour, take a trip to Rodeo Drive and cruise along Sunset Boulevard. It is LA after all, so how can you not? Definitely take a trip to Disneyland,

but more importantly save up to visit Universal Studios. Where else can you witness America’s hottest TV shows and film sets while being at a theme park? However, if you want to find fame but cannot afford Universal, fame is everywhere. Options range from Alcove Cafe and Bakery in Los Feliz where the Grey’s Anatomy cast go on their filming break (that was a surprise) or Santa Monica where you can walk along the beach, shop or explore the pier, while keeping your eyes peeled for stars. For those students who like a night out, LA is not short of clubs and bars. LA has everything – and you would be missing out if you did not take a trip there!


ISSUE 255

BUCS

Results Wednesday 16th March 2011 BUCS League

Football Worcester W2 Worcester M3 Golf UEA 1

Hockey UEA W1

Lacrosse UEA W1 Rugby UEA W1 Tennis UEA W1

3-2 2-0

UEA W1 UEA M2

1.5-4.5 Lincoln 4 2-0

L’borough W4

2-6

Notts Trent W1

5-7

Nottingham W2

0-12

Warwick W2

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Wednesday 30th March

BUCS Matches Futsal

Sports correspondent Mark Roach details UEA Futsal’s excellent performance in the national finals, where they held their own against strong opposition to become the tenth best Futsal team in the country UEA Futsal �inished runners up in the national �inals trophy, making them the tenth best team in the country. After losing their opening game 6-4 to a strong Brighton side, the team went on to defeat Hertfordshire 7-3 in their second match of the �irst day. The last two group games were played on the second day, and after securing a well earned 4-4 draw against Leeds Met in the morning, UEA defeated Bournemouth 4-2 in the afternoon with two late goals from Matthew Wedlake. With Leeds Met edging past Brighton, it meant that UEA had �inished a very Mark Roach

respectable third in their group, and quali�ied for the trophy competition. In Wednesdays quarter �inals they met Birmingham and after scoring early the team eased through, winning by a convincing 7-1 score line. The semi �inals were a much sterner test - against a physical and well drilled Brunel side - the game was close and competitive but UEA defended faultlessly and put in a solid performance, winning 3-1 and earning them a place in the trophy �inal. The �inal was UEA’s third game of the day, against UWE Hartpury, the 2009 national champions. After starting well and holding

the team for a long period, the experience and squad depth of Hartpury began to show as UEA were edged out by four goals to two. With UEA having been regarded as one of the underdogs in the competition, the team should be extremely proud of their performance, especially given that many of the sides have Futsal coaches and a substantial amount of money invested in them. The team were unlucky not to qualify for the last eight of the competition, but will take a lot of positives from their display and representation of the University.

Mark Roach

BUCS Conference Cup Final - Fencing UEA M1

94-131 Warwick M1

THE INDEX

Perfect 10: UEA Futsal recorded victories over Hertfordshire, Bournemouth and Birmingham

Unlucky: UEA lost narrowly to the 2009 champions

Equestrian

Sports correspondent Laura Witheridge recaps a good season for UEA Equestrian as they finish in joint second place and continue to build a positive reputation for the club The UEA Equestrian A-team has had a particularly successful season, �inishing joint second overall, as the mini-league competitions draw to a close. The new academic year saw three new members appointed to the team, and exciting results soon followed. As well as team success, Equestrian member Hannah Witheridge has seen success on an individual level, with several high placings during the season meaning she has quali�ied for the regionals later this month. The team has, over the course of the year, travelled to a variety of places, including Cambridge, Slough and Maidenhead. In the process they have built up a good reputation for UEA and had an enormous amount of fun, forming good friendships and a strong team spirit. The team would like to thank the UEA Equestrian Club Committee for all the support they have received. Congratulations to all involved on a highly successful season.

Laura Witheridge

From left to right: Abigail Forsyth, Natalie Matthews-Graves, Hannah Witheridge and Laura Witheridge


30

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concrete.sport@uea.ac.uk

U:EA

Introducing: The Norfolk Cafu

Update: East Anglia Rob Schatten Sports Editor

The only game in the last fortnight saw Norwich City travel to Humberside, securing a credible 1-1 away draw at Hull. A first-half header from centre-back Zak Whitbread (right) gave Norwich the advantage. The Canaries maintained the lead until the 65th minute, when Hull veteran Nicky Barmby broke through the back four to equalise. The point helped preserve Norwich’s second place in the Championship standings. With just eight games to go, Norwich’s remaining fixtures suggest a fairly straightforward run-in in the promotion stakes, with

one obvious exception. The visit to Swansea on April 9 may well make or break Norwich’s season. Brendan Rodgers’ side play some of the best football in the Championship and, lying just one point behind City in the league, they are the Canaries’ most serious challengers in the race for second place. Paul Lambert has been making comprehensive efforts of late to bolster his squad’s thin strike force. After the club were unable to agree a deal with Peterborough for in-form target man Craig MackailSmith, Lambert opted instead to bring in

two loan players from the Premier League, young strikers Dani Pacheco (Liverpool) and Sam Vokes (Wolves). Meanwhile, American defender Whitbread was forced to pull out of the USA squad for the week’s internationals due to a niggling injury. Ipswich Town continued their strong form in the second half of the season with a solid 2-0 home win over Scunthorpe. Goals from Carlos Edwards (right) and the on-fire Jimmy Bullard sealed the result for Ipswich, who dominated throughout the game. Town have now lost just six of 15 games under Paul Jewell. Bullard was effusive after the match in his praise of Town

The somewhat frantic nature of the game allowed for Oxford Brookes to fight back in the second half to within two points but UEA prevailed. They went into the game with as close to a full squad as they have had this season; centre Mark Perkins returned on the bench, second row Ashley Lewis joined the starting team following a two month absence and winger Dominick Baron returned with an impressive display of strong running and aggressive defence. UEA took the early lead with two unanswered tries, the first of

which saw forwards and backs linking to release deadly winger Steve Hyde into the corner. Minutes later a trademark UEA catch and drive from the lineout muscled Stephen Wilson over for UEA’s second. Oxford Brookes soon hit back with a try from an interception and UEA’s indiscipline led to them being reduced to thirteen men. With their pack down to six men, UEA showed their strength by not conceding and even managing to put H y d e over for his second try to stretch the lead to 19-5. UEA returned to their full complement of players in the second

debutant Josh Carson, who played seventy minutes on the left side of midfield. A gushing Bullard told BBC Sport: “I think he did a blinding job and we’ll see a lot more of Josh.” Another youngster who has been earning praise of late is striker Connor Wickham, who was recently named the Football League’s Young Player of the Year. With no players selected for international duty, Ipswich will be well rested for their next fixture, at Burnley on Saturday. Meanwhile, out-offavour forward Tamas Priskin is a loan target for highflying Swansea, who are keen to bring him to Wales on an ‘emergency’ deal.

Rugby miss out on promotion Chris Teale

Sports Correspondent

UEA Men’s Rugby I Oxford Brookes II

25 20

UEA Mens Rugby 1st XV sealed a 25-20 victory over rivals Oxford Brookes 2nd XV, but narrowly missed out on promotion from BUCS Midlands Conference 2B Division, having previously looked like probable candidates. In a hardfought game against Brookes, UEA looked the better team throughout and always seemed likely to score.

Both photos: Greg Mann

Close: UEA were well ahead before a second half Oxford Brookes fightback

half and added another three points through Golding’s boot but Brookes came back to within two points thanks to tries from their rampaging flankers. However, UEA continued to look classy on the break and Baron almost bundled over for a try despite the attentions of most of the Brookes pack. UEA intelligently kept the ball until another penalty under the posts gave Golding the chance to provide the finishing touches. Despite this tight victory, Oxford Brookes claimed a walkover against UEA, which saw Men’s Rugby I deducted three points, and after Bedford won all their remaining games, UEA were pushed out by both teams to finish up the season in third, disappointed to have lost out on a major opportunity to progress up the leagues.

T

he past few years have witnessed the inexorable rise of Norwich City defender Russell Martin. After captaining Peterborough United to promotion in 2009, Martin joined the Canaries last year, becoming an integral part of Paul Lambert’s side as they spectacularly overhauled Leeds United to claim the title. With City just eight games away from a possible return to the ‘promised land’, Martin spoke to Concrete about his, and the Canaries’ incredible season, and the fantastic team spirit at the club. - First Choice -

When asked whether he felt he had made the right-back position his own this season, following a great deal of positive press, Martin replied: “I don’t tend to read much press about myself, I don’t think a lot of lads do really. It’s been great though, the fans have really taken to me this year and I’ve got a good relationship with them. I’ve just got more confident as the season’s gone on. A few of us had to prove that we were able to play in this league and hopefully we’ve done that. To play every minute so far has been a great achievement for me and is something I’m really proud of.” Yet it hasn’t just been Martin’s defensive prowess that has been picked up on by supporters and commentators alike. Following a string of eye-catching attacking displays, Martin has earned himself the favourable moniker of ‘The Norfolk Cafu’ amongst Canaries supporters. Concrete asked if he was aware of this title: “If that’s the case it’s a massive compliment! My brother said he’d seen someone with a t-shirt saying that, but at the moment I haven’t yet been called it! Hopefully I’ve earned the right to that nickname, but it really just shows that things are going well on the pitch for the team.” - Man Management -

Another key factor in the Canaries’ pursuit of successive promotions has been manager Paul Lambert. Taken from Colchester after their 7-1 annihilation of the Canaries in August 2009, he has forged a winning mentality at Carrow Road, as Martin explains: “I think his greatest strength is man-management – he makes the players want to play for him.


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Thursday 31st March

Introducing: The Norfolk Cafu

He was a leader when he played, and he’s won the best things you can in football, including the Champions’ League. So he’s a winner and that rubs off on the players. He demands really high standards in training every day, and if those standards slip then he’s not going to be happy. He continued: “Training’s always really high-tempo and everyone who comes to the club comments on that; it’s not like that everywhere. I think that’s why he gets the best out of his players – they know they have to be on their game every day to keep

Martin responded: “Hopefully – we’ve played every team in the league now at least once, and I don’t we’ve been outplayed; we’re really hitting form at the right time.” With fond memories from City’s promotion last year, Russell clearly has a passion for further glory: “Last year was massive. I’d only been at the club a short space of time and playing in front of these fans was certainly special. The day of the open-top bus parade, the celebrations at Carrow Road on the final day, those were things I’ll remember for a long time.”

- A career snapshot -

• Martin began his career at Brighton & Hove Albion in 2003, before leaving for Lewes by mutual consent a year later • He made his name at Wycombe Wanderers, making his debut in August 2004 and playing 116 times for the club, scoring 5 goals • At Wycombe Martin established a reputation for versatility, appearing at left back, right back, centre half and in midfield • He won the goal of the season award in 2006 • Martin played every game as Wycombe reached the League Two play-offs during the 2007-08 season, before losing in the semi-finals • Martin’s first ever promotion came at Peterborough United, whom he joined in 2008, taking over the captain’s armband to lead the team to the Championship in his inaugural season • He joined Norwich City on loan in November 2009, signing for the club on a permanent basis a few months later • He quickly established himself as a regular in the Canaries side as they clinched the League One title in the same year • Martin scored his first goal for Norwich against Doncaster in September of last year, also netting a crucial winner against QPR and a last-minute equaliser against Cardiff City, leading fans to nickname him ‘The Norfolk Cafu’

impressing him. He says sometimes, “We can make mistakes, as long as we give 100%’, and I think that’s what he gets out of his team. He improves you as a player because he gets every last ounce out of you that you can give.” - A Season of Highlights -

Asked for his view on whether Norwich City could be joining the Premier League elite very soon,

In an incredible season of many highlights, Martin was able to identity one in particular: “The goal against QPR was my first goal at Carrow Road, so it was a special moment for me. As long as someone’s scoring and we’re winning games I don’t mind, but to get a couple of goals this year, I have to admit that’s been a highlight for me – and hopefully I can carry on nicking one or two here and there.”

- Norfolk Passion With the East Anglian Derby on the horizon, and Russell a relative newcomer to proceedings, Concrete asked if he had managed to get into the competitive spirit of the game: “All the boys are well aware of how big a game it is – playing in it at Carrow Road and winning like we did that day was amazing, one of the highlights of the season so far. The intensity and the atmosphere were better than anything I’ve played in front of before, and I’m sure it’s the same for a few of the lads, which is why we’re looking forward to it already.” Asked to identify the best player he’s ever faced, Martin was quick to respond: “The biggest challenge in my career was probably Arjen Robben when he was at Chelsea – I was at Wycombe and we played them in the Carling Cup. He was really on song at that time and I’d only been playing right-back for about six months, so he taught me a bit of a lesson really! It’s then that you realise how far you need to go to play against top players every week.”

“We’ve sold over 20,000 season tickets for next season already and people don’t even know what league we’re going to be in! It’s a really big club and I knew that when I came, but it took actually playing in that first home

really good football, they’re probably one of the best passing sides in the league. I don’t know really, as long as we go I wouldn’t mind! I guess that QPR have been really consistent, although we’ve got four points off them ourselves, they’ve got matchwinners in their team and they’ve keep a lot of clean sheets.”

- Stature -

With childhood footballing heroes including Tony Adams and Stuart Pearce, both captains during their long careers,

Concrete asked Russell if he would be interested in one day captaining City permanently: “It’s not something I’ve thought about to be honest. I’ve captained once this season, against Leyton Orient, and that was a real honour. But I haven’t thought about it really, Holty’s the captain and he’s a good leader on and off the pitch. However, to captain a club of this stature and size and fan base would be an amazing achievement.” With Norwich enjoying one of the highest average attendances in the Championship, many believe the club ought to be gracing the Premier League: “The passion that the city has for the football club is unbelievable.”

the best league in Europe, if not the world, in the Premier League. We’re third in the Championship and the next step is the Premier League, so it can be a realistic aim. As a team we might not get another chance to get there, so we’ll give it a good go.” Asked to assess City’s main rivals at the top of the Championship, Russell identified the frontrunners as he saw them: “I think Swansea play

game in front of 25,000 to realise how special a club this is. “We all appreciate how lucky we are because there’s Premier League clubs who don’t get anywhere near that amount. Quite a lot of teams come here to try and get a point rather than the game, but they have to keep the crowd quiet as well as stop us playing because once they get going it’s a real tough place to be.” - The Only Way Is Up -

The Premier League is clearly on everybody’s mind at Carrow Road, including Russell’s: “I think it’d be any player’s ambition to play at the top level, and we’re fortunate that in this country that we’ve probably got

“We’ve played every team in the league at least once, and I don’t think we’ve been outplayed; we’re really hitting form at the right time” - City Players at UEA -

With a number of famous Canaries having visited the LCR, Russell is no stranger to the venue and UEA itself: “I came up once with the lads to watch a Champions League game and then I was there recently watching Angelos Epithemou at the LCR. I’m sure I will be up there again in the future to see a few shows – it’s a really good venue actually.” With promotion looming, Concrete’s suggestion that the City players should hold their end of season party at the LCR appeared to go down well: “That’s a good idea, I’m sure the lads wouldn’t be opposed to that happening,” he joked.


sport

DERBY DAY

Pippa Artus

Turn to centre pages for a comprehensive pull-out of all the action

Flawless hockey promoted UEA Hockey end the season as BUCS divisional champions after seeing off title contenders Bedford in a gripping clash at the Sportspark Chris Teale

Sports Correspondent

UEA Men’s Hockey I Bedford Men’s I

Greg Mann

4 0

UEA managed to defeat Bedford in a nerve-wracking game that secured promotion for the team in the BUCS league. After a superb season, UEA were top of the BUCS Midlands Conference Men’s 3B Division before the game, with Bedford a point behind. A win for either team would have seen them become champions. The first half started, and remained, relatively quiet. A short corner to UEA early on ended with Joseph Broadbent hitting the post after firing off a deadly drag flick. The rest of the opening period was nervy stuff, with Bedford at one point having a succession of short corners, all of which were handled extremely well by a defence led by Will Oates and Simon Hammond. Minutes before full time Broadbent managed to bury a shot from the tightest of angles to make the score 1-0 to UEA at the interval. Whilst the first half was relatively sedate, the second was anything but. Early on a Bedford player picked up a yellow card after multiple stick tackles, and this was followed by Oliver Ruffle picking up a yellow card for UEA after shoulder-barging a Bedford player off the ball. Some great attacking chances came to UEA with inspired runs from James Fanger who was happy taking on as many Bedford players as he could find, ball on stick. Bedford started to crumble under the immense pressure UEA imbued, and to make things worse a further yellow was shown to a Bedford player after challenging

A season to remember: UEA only narrowly missed out in the BUCS National Semi-Finals but have sealed promotion to cap a brilliant league campaign

the match umpires. Broadbent should have doubled his tally after Stuart Gagen found him in space, but the goal was denied after some quality defending by Bedford. UEA were rewarded for their efforts after Tom

Ross safely put away a goal from a well worked sideline ball to put UEA 2-0 up. Minutes later, Samuel Johnson took a shot at goal which deflected off a Bedford player, to make the score 3-0, at which point Bedford looked completely out of

the game. Shortly after, Adam Wedlake confidently fed the ball to Gagen who had no problems finishing off an excellent piece of play off with a goal to make the final score 4-0, and ensure promotion.

Concrete speaks to Russell Martin

With a fantastic season now over for the BUCS team, everyone is looking to next year and hoping that UEAHC carry forward their winning ways into the higher divisions, and continue to set the BUCS league alight.

• Turn to pages 30 and 31 for the full interview with Norwich City’s talismanic defender


TV SCANDAL

SUMMER SCREENS

THE BIG REVIEW

criminal minds

preview special

submarine

what we’ll watch

brit sleeper smash

sexist season

6? p.8

p.16

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< MUSIC > live KT TUNSTALL .21 < COMEDY > interview IDIOTS OF ANTS .20 < WIRED > reviews KILLZONE 3 vs. HOMEFRONT .14 p

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venue ISSUE 254 15/3/2011

Editor-in-Chief>Danny Collins| concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk Venue Editor>Duncan Vicat-Brown| concrete.event@uea.ac.uk Deputy Venue Editor>Fiona Howard

concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk| Fashion Editor>Kat Jones Deputy Fashion Editor>Hannah Britt Fashion Contributors> Freya Berry, Steph McKenna

concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk| Arts Editor>Liz Jackson

And now, some uncensored and deeply self-indulgent words from the editor... We asked around, and it turns out size DOES matter..

There’s a lot going on this week, and to celebrate, we’ve got a whole lot of extra pages this issue! Not that anyone could accuse us of stretching ourselves too thinly; if anything, the content is better than ever. We’ve got a summer movies preview in FILM and a huge roundup of Norwich gigs in MUSIC, plus a review of the new, deeply average album from The Strokes and an opinion piece on Radiohead from Alex, Alec and Alex. Elsewhere we have an avantgarde fashion special, features on hospital dramas, Shakespeare in popular culture and ‘useful’ technology, and of course our special pullout, dedicated to the Annual KAOS Fashion Show. We’ve all been working really bloody hard, and we hope it was worth the extra couple of days while we waited for the Union election results. If not, then don’t panic; at least it’s Friday tomorrow. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun...

Have a week!

Arts Contributors> Rianne Ison, Becky Hazlewood, Emma Webb, Ruth Gaukrodger

n a c un

D

concrete.tvdigital@uea.ac.uk| Television Editor>Tasha Golley Television Contributors> Kathryn Deighan, Tom Theedom, Kate Allen, Matt Tidby, Natalie Fletcher, Beth Wyatt, Duncan Vicat-Brown

concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk| Creative Writing Editor>Robert Van Egghen Creative Writing Contributors> Robyn Comfort, Jessica Daw, Jude Barken, James Sykes, James Foreman, Flora Barker, Adetola Adepoju, Rich Law, Robert Van Egghen

concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk| Wired Editor>Vaughn Highfield Wired Contributors> DJ Turner, Josh Mott, Chris Axe, Alex Stoodley

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk| Film Editor>Paul Martin Deputy Film Editor>Catherine Watts Film Contributors> Anna Eastwick, Leo Hunt, Sarrounia Christianson, Beth Wyatt, Tom Theedom, Alex Dobrik, Radosava Rudulovic, Tim Bates, Lorna Pontefract, James Burrough, Steph McKenna, Duncan Vicat-Brown

concrete.event@uea.ac.uk| Comedy Editor>Duncan Vicat-Brown Music Contributors> Alex Ross

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk| Music Editors>Alec Plowman & Alex Throssell Music Contributors> Emily Prichard, Russell Hammond, Joe Dobraszczyk, Alex Ross, Tom Moore, Ant Firth-Clark, Lauren Razavi, Jaime Lewis, Alex Throssell, Alec Plowman, Fiona Howard

concrete.listings@uea.ac.uk| Listings Editor>Georgina Wade Listings Contributors>Georgina Wade

concrete.competitions@uea.ac.uk| Competitions Editor>Henry Croft Competitions Contributors>Henry Croft • Body-shaping Vibro Plates - slims, improves circulation no sweat, £35 for 24 10 min sessions

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FASHION

Issue 255 31st March 2011 concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk

How Far Can Fashion Go?

“One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art,” wrote Oscar Wilde. On the couture catwalks there is often a very thin line between what is wearable and what is not. Garments can be visually stunning but have the models shuffling down the catwalk like penguins in high heels. When does fashion become art? And how far can fashion go before its pieces belong not at a cocktail party but in The Tate? This week, Freya Barry discusses the absurdity of fashion whilst Steph McKenna writes of her trip to the opening of cult clothing legend Jonny Cupcake’s new London store.

Smokin’

From Gaga to DADA

Hippy Trousers Probably the worst thing to wear if it’s raining. Or windy. But oh so now. Get a pair now before they become too popular.

Micro Pigs Lydia and Arg have one on The Only Way Is Essex. Nuff said.

Flesh Coloured Tights March is annoying. So is April. It’s not quite warm enough to get your legs out. The answer? Thin skin coloured tights. Crafty crafty.

Chokin’ Impractical Swimwear Herve Leger unveiled their new range of swimwear this month. There’s one problem with their pieces: you can’t get them wet. Nice one.

Leona Lewis’ New Tattoo You don’t like animal testing. We get it. Go chain yourself to a railing or something but don’t get a tattoo

Ugg Foot It’s getting warmer. Your feet are sweaty. You’re starting to smell. It’s time to take your Ugg boots off babe...

by Freya Barry This week Venue’s going to attempt to answer or at least consider the answer to the ultimate question for any fashionista: ‘Is this outfit amazingly inventive or does it make me look like a pillock?’ For example, was Lady Gaga’s Kermit the Frog Coat a deeply imaginative take on the fur industry or too extreme to be considered an example of good taste? Personally we can’t help but wonder what a jacket made out of Big Bird would look like –we’re thinking mohair with a luminous yellow twist. If fashion is a form of expression than what message is it that we’re trying to get across?

“Personally I can’t help but wonder what a jacket made out of Big Bird would look like - I’m thinking mohair with a luminous yellow twist...” The Spring/Summer 2011 trends are a perfect example of this. When Miuccia Prada wore gargantuan banana earrings to the front row she was not only referencing the citrus prints that would be implemented throughout her show and others (Stella McCartney’s fabulous orange-printed shifts to name just one) but also Andy Warhol’s famous banana print album cover for The Velvet Underground & Nico in 1967.

The link between art and fashion and the way both mediums push aesthetic boundaries and create new concepts has been around for aeons. From Elsa Schiaparelli’s work in collaboration with Salvador Dali in the 1930’s right up to Stephen Sprouse’s 2006 and 2008 Autumn collections for Louis Vuitton artists and fashion designers have been bed-fellows for some time. With Elsa Schiaparelli’s DADA influenced pieces it is the surrealist influences of Dali’s vision that shines through, whether the hat shaped like a shoe or our personal favourite the ‘Skeleton Dress’ where Schiaparelli used padding to construct a dress complete with fabric ribs and spine. In contrast Sprouse’s designs draw from the graffiti of the Nineties. The juxtaposition of his harsh, fluorescent letters and rose motifs coating luxury Louis Vuitton bags was sublime in its simplicity and its message – fashion is accessible, not an exclusive intimidating club filled with bland, clinical designs. Fashion at its best can be fresh, exciting and intelligent in its references to pop-culture, or in Sprouse’s case urban street culture.

When Lady Gaga donned that infamous Kermit coat she not only gained column inches but she was also conforming to fashion’s subversive under-current. These fashion risk-takers that draw influence from art movements merely serve to prove how relevant fashion is even in an age of economic austerity where luxury and haute couture seem like dirty words. Fashion, much like art, really is wherever the beholder chooses to find it. One designer who achieves the perfect balance between surreal, arty and wearable is Christopher Kane. His recent Resort Collection with dresses in galaxy prints are breath-taking in their surrealism, the precision of the cuts and the way they illustrate the beauty of nature - the wearer is literally wearing the stars. Kane is definitely one experimenter to look out for. On the flipside some fashion is pushing boundaries which winds up being plain hideous – this writer recently discovered that lamé bodysuits are not only uncomfortable (sweat patches anyone?) but also make you look like a giant sausage stuffed into a gold skin. Eurgh. Lesson Learned: Being daring in fashion, good. Lamé: Bad.

Fashion RIP

Worst Dressed

What Were They Thinking?!

Elizabeth Taylor, Hollywood star and style icon died this week from heart failure. She was 79. Let’s hope she’s jamming out right now with Elvis, MJ and Marylin.

Try harder next time.

This week we’ve sharpened our claws and focused our attention on bad make-up. This beautiful girl has broken the cardinal rule of bold lips OR eyes. Not both.


Fashion 05

Issue 255 31st March 2011

Art In fashion: How far is too far? From the catwalk...

One Man’s Recipe For Fashion Success

Photograph: Ollie Keable

by Steph McKenna As the sun rises on Oxford Street and a scattering of early-bird shoppers slowly embark on some Saturday morning retail therapy, a surprisingly large queue is building round the corner of Carnaby. A few dozen people have camped overnight and throughout the day will be joined by hundreds more, who eagerly take their place in line to witness the grand opening of Johnny Cupcakes new store: the fourth to exist, and the first to open outside of the United States. After months of preparation and weeks of pushing late into the night to finalise designs, this is what it comes down to. Crowds and crowds of fans, prepared to wait long into the night in order to get hold of new and exclusive designs, and meet the man behind one of fashion’s most inspirational stories. Johnny Cupcakes make straightforward, vibrant, tongue-in-cheek clothing. Incorporating the cupcake-and-crossbones logo onto everything - including mugs, bags, playing dice and bakery kits. Their focal sales point remains their iconic shirts. Printed on high-quality American Apparel merchandise and tailored around various themes, holidays and cultural symbols, once a shirt is pressed, released and sold, it’s gone for good; making them high in demand and hugely collectible. On Saturday, as families wander past and attempt to catch a sneak glance through the boarded windows of the shop, we settle into answering a cycle of the same bewildered questions. Is a celebrity opening today? Why queue so long for a t-shirt? Is there really this much demand for a bakery? Johnny Cupcakes, formed in Boston in 2001 by college-kid Johnny Earle, is a community-based label. Much more than a wardrobe choice, it’s a lifestyle and a way of thinking; as any of the hundreds of people standing patiently amidst the crowd flooding Carnaby Street will tell you. Nearly everyone

here is sporting their favourite shirt in their collection, from designs that have fallen hot off the press to rare collectibles that are faded and stretched from years of faithful wearing. There are university students, fathers and sons, children and even the odd few that have travelled alone from the States - cupcake fever has spread, and it means much more than a few hip kids wearing a wacky t-shirt. Johnny is successfully living the dream that every artist has nourished in their heart from a young age. Beginning as no more than a joke design for a band t-shirt which caught an unexpected amount of attention, one man has built up a multi-million dollar business with almost no knowledge and expertise or money to invest in risky finance and advertising strategies; a move that won him the award for ‘America’s #1 Young Entrepreneur of 2008’ by BusinessWeek. Mainly

reliant on passing word from mouth to mouth and friend to friend, the brand has amassed a worldwide family that is willing to follow wherever he goes. This

includes his parents, sister and best friends, who have been employed by the business and were at the London opening to keep things ticking over. Speaking to one the Cupcake crew manning the door of the event, he laughed: “I didn’t even know about Johnny Cupcakes until recently. My best friend, Kellen, has moved over from the States to manage the London store, so I took my holiday from work and flew over to help her out for the week.” Entering the shop that Saturday, you need a good while to take in the scrupulous amount of care and detail that has been given to its design. Kitchen utensils hang from the ceiling, egg boxes line the shelves, and clothing is displayed behind huge glass bakery counters, topped with the trademark cardboard cupcake boxes used to package sales. The staff - clearly buzzing from the wall of enthusiasm that waits on the other side of the shop window - are taking everyone’s order, which are delivered to the counter for preparation. The shirts on sale are mostly London-base exclusives, which play on the city’s most endearing symbols: a teacup, red bus, and big top hat reading the newspaper. Johnny Earle himself is there, allowing only a thin trickle of customers in the store at a time in order to meet each person and learn their story. In between conversations he is polishing the floor and windows, ensuring that everything is perfect right up until the final customer crosses the threshold at long past midnight. The designs might not be to everyone’s taste, but there is a widespread respect across the music, fashion and arts scene towards the intense focus, determination and comradeship that has driven this company so far in less than ten years. Johnny Cupcakes is working to keep the dream alive for everyone - infusing young people with a positive attitude and demonstrating that it’s not completely insane to have very big aspirations.

...to the High Street... Bag, Urban Outfitters £88

Playsuit, ASOS.com £135

Brooch, Butler and Wilson £18

...to the extreme!

Fancy going to Lola Lo’s in this ensemble? Thought not.


ARTS

Issue 255 31st March 2011 concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk

Theatre - Theatre Royal - Avenue Q Avenue Q debuted in Norwich at the Theatre Royal last week, continuing its tour after its stint in the West End. Right from the outset it was evident that the show deserves every accolade it has received and that it is a five star phenomenon! Combining laugh out loud comedic moments and amusing characters, each wrapped in a charming and heartwarming story, Avenue Q strikes a perfect balance between the audience choking back the tears and literally crying with laughter. For those who have not been swept up by its whirlwind success, Avenue Q follows the lives of the residents of the fictional street who explore the burdens of life and the concept of growing up whilst exploring one’s purpose in love, relationships, and work - including just how to survive in downtown Brooklyn with a BA in English! The seven ensemble members, (including principal characters Princeton and Kate Monster, who become entangled in a rather unconventional love story), bounded onto the stage with countless amounts of energy, captivating the audience’s attention from the word go. Prior to seeing the performance it is interesting to think of who will capture your concentration - the actors themselves or the puppets? The bright, vibrant puppets and the plain-clothed actors seem to merge

into one entity and the audience watched both with ease; with the actor providing the body language and vocal intonation that the puppet cannot express. This clever concept seemed completely natural as the actors manipulated the puppets effortlessly and ensured that they came alive as believable and amusing characters in their own right. Special mention must go to Rachel Jerram, who at points was playing two contrasting characters; Kate Monster and Lucy the Slut, who were conversing with one another in one scene. The way that Jerram controlled her voice and successfully transformed from one character to the other was astounding. The songs had the audience in stitches with the witty, sharp lyrics and the excellent delivery, with particular highlights being the politically incorrect, tongue-in-cheek number ‘Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist’ and the hilarious ‘The Internets For Porn’ which had the whole auditorium roaring with laughter. There were also touching songs, which underpinned the comedy and generated some poignant moments. ‘There’s a Fine Line’ encapsulated the climax of emotions at the end of the first act, resulting in a lyrically honest number that was also beautifully sung. The set itself did not dramatically enhance the production as a whole, but was simple

and powerful in providing a suitable setting whilst not extracting from the talented cast and the events that were occurring on stage. The set allowed for some well executed scene changes, most notably when the street transformed into the backdrop of the Empire State Building with the lighting capturing the moment perfectly. Although Avenue Q had a rather cliché dending that some may deem ‘cheesy’, it was exactly what a musical encompasses. The energy of the talented cast was palpable throughout, ensuring that the audience

became a part of Avenue Q and urged the characters to reconcile and reach their individual happy endings . All in all, the production banished the woes of university work and caused looming deadlines to appear a million miles away! The uplifting musical transferred brain-ache into face-ache from the audience’s continuous smiles and laughter, resulting in undoubtedly one of the most professional and entertaining productions to grace Norwich in a long while. Rianne Ison

Theatre - Theatre Royal - Matthew Bourne’s ‘Cinderella’ Witty, inspired and heart warming, Matthew Bourne’s production of Cinderella at the Theatre Royal was everything you would want from a fairy tale and more. Set in World War II, this was Cinderella like you’ve never seen it before. The curtain lifted to a chilling cacophony of wartime sirens and a television broadcast of a bomb warning projected onto the stage; used effectively to set the scene. The dancers were captivating from the outset. Jerky, comical moves reflected their emotions, providing

an entertaining spectacle as the ugly sisters pranced and strutted, a hyperactive younger brother literally flew around the stage and the strikingly evil (and often tipsy) step mother cast her foreboding presence over the household. The dancers’ style, although strictly defined as ballet, had elements of both ballroom and Latin dancing and contemporary ballet, making the performance even more captivating to watch. The ballet was set to the music of Prokofiev, which was actually written during the War. It was this that gave Bourne the inspiration for the setting. Setting the story of Cinderella in the time of World War II gave the traditional romance a greater depth of meaning, reflecting the trauma many must have faced not knowing the whereabouts or fate of their loved ones. The ballroom scene was set at the Cafe de Paris, which was destroyed during the Blitz. The role of ‘Fairy Godmother’ was in fact played by a male angel, who held the audience breathless as he worked the magic of his solos. Having power over time, a particularly memorable dance was his bringing back to life the decimated ballroom scene: dead bodies slumped lifeless across the stage were returned to hours before when they had been drinking and dancing merrily. Comedy and tragedy danced side by side and whatever the setting every dance was brimming with emotion, with many of the cast dedicating the performance to family members that fought in the war.

The genius choreography of Bourne, the dancers’ talent and the addition of stunning scenery, costumes and special effects made

everything come together to make a truly uplifting and mesmerising performance. Becky Hazlewood


Arts

Issue 255 31st March 2011

07

Literature - Feature - Shakespeare in Popular Culture Emma Webb finds out how the Bard of Avon lives on on our screens.

Us Brits, culturally speaking, have a lot to be proud of. As Hugh Grant notably said in one of our great British rom-coms, we are the country of, “Shakespeare, Churchill, The Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter, and David Beckham’s right foot.” The magnificent

works of Shakespeare are first on the list of things people associate with Britain, and unsurprisingly too, given its permeation into widespread English Literature courses, everyday speech and even Love Actually. As our modern world gets ever more

modern, Shakespeare now manifests itself in various formats, most of them removed further from his original scripts than some might like. In recent years, the works of Shakespeare has been made more accessible for our teenage population, with various teen comedies based on Shakespeare plays that have become box office successes. 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) was loosely adapted from Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, which has a microscopic readership amongst teens in comparison to the millions of fans of the film. Likewise, She’s The Man (2006) updated the twin-switching plot of Twelfth Night and grossed over $57million worldwide. These films are purchased, downloaded, quoted and adored, in a way the original plays rarely are. Prior to this, visually updating of Shakespeare whilst keeping the original script intact became a popular move for script writers and directors. The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet (1996), starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes, won awards and captured hearts, but was slammed by critics for what they called its ‘…gang wars, MTVstyle’ portrayal. This year saw the release of animated Gnomeo and Juliet, keeping some of the original names (Tybalt, Juliet etc) and plot developments, but finishing with a happy ending for its family entertainment purposes. Heaven only knows the disappointment the young viewers will feel when they stumble upon the original ending at GCSE. William S. himself has popped up on numerous occasions in television and in

literature as well, ranging from J. L Carrell’s 2008 novel The Shakespeare Secret, to a memorable moment in Blackadder, in which William Shakespeare (played by a bearded Colin Firth) is punched square in the face by our time travelling hero, taking revenge “…for every schoolboy and schoolgirl for the next 400 years.” It seems no matter what era in history, everyone has an opinion on Shakespeare, his work and his legacy. Born in Stratford-upon-Avon, Shakespeare’s birthplace has become a blossoming tourist spot and heritage site for England, even winning a Gold Award for ‘Best Tourism Experience in the Heart of England’ in 2009. Similarly, The Globe Theatre in London receives hundreds of visitors daily, from schoolchildren to holidaymakers, taking in the remodelled space of Shakespeare’s performances. Despite this it’s questionable how many of these visitors have seriously studied the works or the life of this great playwright. Shakespeare has become more than a cultural celebrity of our time – he has achieved a level of scholarly and literary omnipresence that few can scarcely dream of. If, as the man himself said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players…” we might reconsider the importance of these plays in terms of the serious, real-life themes they deal with instead of their mere commercial or tourist value. Even if we take on this view, the world is watching our performance. For his sake, let’s make it a good one.

Theatre - Dragon Hall - Under Milk Wood Under Milk Wood is a play written to be heard, not acted - so it’s always approached with some diffidence by audience and actors, when being physically staged. The trick seems to lie in not allowing anything to detract from the lilt and lyricism of Dylan’s words, which the Crude Apache Company achieved in their minimalistic approach to the play. The script was allowed to unfold without battling unnecessary physical embellishments. The play itself is pretty basic in terms of subject: we follow the lives of the various inhabitants of ‘Llareggub,’ a fabricated Welsh village, from daybreak to night.

“This was an effective, intimate performance, set in a beautiful location.” Dragon Hall seems an unlikely place to suit a plain and unfussy adaptation, being quite imposing in its architecture. But the echoing space and bare walls really seemed to let the words ring out, and didn’t at any

moment let the focus turn from the play itself. The relatively small, high-ceilinged room really drew concentration into the small area that had been outlined for the stage. There was some minimalist music heard in the background, and very basic lighting effects, only utilising these features to represent the temporal shifts as we follow the lives of the people of Llareggub. Other than this, and a few quick costume changes, there was little else but the actors on stage. This is not to say there weren’t some pretty drastic character changes. With seven actors, and around 60 characters, the play displayed some great shifts in personality rocketing about the stage. These shifts were only subtly supported by costume, with usually just one piece of clothing serving as some kind of visual reminder to the audience of who’s who. The characters therefore had to be acted out through their physicalities. Again, this was largely done in a way so as to not distract from the script. Occasionally, the characterisation did seem to be almost drowning out the words, with deliverance of lines being hazy because of the manner of speech imposed by the

actors. But ultimately, the audience was always drawn back to the lines of the main narrators, as they poured out descriptions of the small Welsh village. This was an effective, intimate

performance, set in a beautiful location and delivered thoughtfully by all the actors which made the evening enjoyable. Ruth Gaukrodger


TV

Issue 255 31 March 2011 concrete.tvdigital@uea.ac.uk

GENDER POLITICS KATHRYN DEIGHAN TAKES A CLOSER LOOK AT THE RECENT CONTROVERSY SURROUNDING CRIMINAL MINDS AFTER THE SHOW AXED IT’S FEMALE LEADS... Criminal Minds is currently one of America’s top watched crime dramas. Season Six continues the thrilling storylines following FBI profilers as they hunt down serial killers around the States. However, what makes this season even more explosive is its latest controversy. With the blink of an eye, suddenly two out of the three lead females are written out. Yes, this happens – it’s television drama after all, but unusually this caused a sudden outcry amongst the actors and crew. Whilst one actress, A.J. Cook (Agent Jennifer Jareau) bowed out gracefully, thanking fans for their support over twitter, the other, Paget Brewster (Agent Emily Prentiss), was not so polite. A petition signed by the actors and tens of thousands of supporters was even started. It is no surprise then that the writers of A.J.’s last episode incorporated her character’s unwillingness to leave. What was the reason for their sudden demise? According to many angry viewers, the

answer was sexism. Meanwhile the actors blamed the CBS network, who adamantly defended the decision, quoting simply creative reasons. However, the cast maintain that that was a lie. They strongly suspected financial restraints as a direct result of the cost of producing the show’s new spin-off; Criminal Minds: Suspect Behaviour. Some make no secret about wanting it to fail spectacularly. So what happens now? There has been a small sigh of relief as the two characters have been written out in a way that they can return! The only reprieve for A.J.'s character may be the fleeting glimpses of her helping her colleague in Brewster’s climatic last ever episode, ‘Lauren’. It has been confirmed that CBS have offered Brewster an olive branch and asked her back next season – the ball is in her court. In the meantime, let us watch with interest as the show continues without them.

GHOSTWATCH: A BRITISH TELEVISION LANDMARK DUNCAN VICAT-BROWN ON ONE OF THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL PROGRAMMES IN BROADCAST HISTORY Some shows are ahead of their time. Arrested Development, Oz, Firefly; ignored at the time, revered now. But one show was so staggeringly ahead of its time that it would be almost a decade before anyone else even successfully attempted the same thing. If the title of this article didn’t give it away already, that show was Ghostwatch. A ninety minute horror mockumentary that first aired on Halloween in 1992, Ghostwatch looked, to the unsuspecting viewer, like a live special investigating spooky goings on in a small suburban household. Sarah Greene and Craig Charles reported from the scene, and Michael Parkinson discussed events with a paranormal specialist in the

studio. After initial scepticism and inactivity, things begin to get spooky, and events start to spiral wildly out of control as ‘Pipes’ made his presence known... Suffice it to say that the public were convinced. The BBC received an estimated 30,000 calls from angry or terrified viewers, years before tabloid sensationalism made hysterical mass complaints de rigeur. To date, there have been two cases of post-traumatic stress disorder and one suicide directly linked to the show, and was banned as a result. Though it has occasionally been repeated abroad, it has never been seen again on UK screens. Watching now, it’s unsurprising that so

“Ghostwatch, in its own little way, was as much of an epochal TV event as the Kennedy Assassination” - thecustardtv.com

many fell for it. The writing is flawless and naturalistic to the point of perfection. The performances, particularly from Parky and Greene, live up to the material (although the terrorized family nearly give the game away). But what really makes Ghostwatch worth seeking out is that it’s a really effective little horror chiller. Like all the best horror, it’s cynical, surprisingly dark and very, very subtle. The plot features references to paedophilia, self-harm and suicide. About twenty-five minutes in there’s one of the more chilling ‘listening-to-a-tape’ sequences ever filmed (even scarier if you’re watching really carefully). The ending is as bleak as they come. It’s the little things that get you; the fact that Greene’s increasingly worried, real-life husband is managing the phone lines, the use of repeated sound effects, the way that the sightings of ‘Pipes’ are so subtle and vague that you’ll start to think you can see him standing behind your TV.. Ghostwatch is as meticulously crafted as anything you’ll ever see onscreen. There’s never been a better time to discover Ghostwatch. A follow up documentary about the show (itself a possible chance for more spooky fakery) has been in the works for a while now, and you can see its influence in the likes of Paranormal Activity and The Blair Witch Project, the creators of which admit they saw Ghostwatch before filming. Unusually for us Brits, we did it first, and we did it better.


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Issue 255 31 March 2011

TV

PRIMETIME>Twenty Twelve BBC Four Monday, 10:30pm

DOWNLOAD>Rasing Hope SKY One Friday, 9pm

You may be forgiven for thinking, “oh no, not another mockumentary!” as the genre seems to have been bled dry of late, but Twenty Twelve is definitely worth a chance. In true documentary style, complete with talking heads and narration by David Tennant, it follows five important players in the successful launch of the London 2012 Olympics, including Head of Deliverance, Ian Fletcher (Hugh Bonneville). The show is both hilarious and frightening in equal measure. Its brilliance lies in its plausibility as these five key players seem clueless in their respective fields; never more frightfully close to the truth then in episode one where Head of PR, Siobahn Sharpe (played brilliantly by Jessica Hynes) organises the Olympic

From the creators of My Name is Earl, Raising Hope is a hilarious comedy that captures the sweetness and madness of family life. Jimmy Chance is 23 years old, he still lives at home with his parents and his Maw Maw (Granny) and cleans pools for a living.

countdown clock but fails to ensure anybody can understand which way it’s ticking. Hilarious and cringeworthy when considering the real Olympic clock stopped less than 24 hours after its unveiling. The show is filled with great main characters, see Olivia Colman’s quietly played but scarily loyal PA as well as fantastic one-offs, the Portuguese translator in episode two is a must-see. The laughs come fast in Twenty Twelve but you can’t help but wonder whether it’s a satire or a premonition – in the words of Ian Fletcher “as long as nobody dies and we’ve still got fridge cake we’ll be fine”. Tom Theedom

“Raising Hope will become a family classic alongside Malcolm in the Middle and My Name is Earl...” After being sent out for ice cream, Jimmy ‘rescues’ Lucy from a ‘mad man’ and they have a romantic one night stand. Unfortunately, Lucy is a serial killer who likes to kill her boyfriends. After seeing her on America’s Most

The Times They Are A-Changing... Matt Tidby looks at the changing face of British sitcoms Some things on TV will forever endure- John Barrowman’s face, unsubtly titled BBC Three documentaries and Kay Burley’s innate ability to raise tactlessness to a high art. However, television is going through a period of transition. Arguably, ‘twas ever thus’, but tune in these days and the differences are dramatic, even in the lifetime of the average screen-friendly undergraduate. The news has become the most bewilderingly dramatic hyper-narrative on the box, a new drama series can be over in a week and sitcoms have stopped being funny. Okay, that last one isn’t wholly true, but the British sitcom, a cornerstone of our televisual canon, has changed beyond recognition

recently. Anti-BBC campaigns and industry terrors like the ‘Sachsgate’ scandal may seem to have faded into insignificance, but the impact of such negative coverage has been wide-ranging and dramatic. Comedy, particularly within the BBC, has been transformed. Commissioners and producers have earnestly prostrated themselves before the miserable moral lobby and presented a stream of character-centric, ‘safe’ sitcoms, for fear of being the next severed head on the well-worn pike of the Daily Mail. In some cases this has produced wonders; the charming Rev (BBC Two) and the oddball rambling club of The Great Outdoors (BBC Four) spring to mind as well-crafted examples

of this new fashion. However, for every one of these, there’s the depressing Roger and Val Just Got In (BBC Two), the bland Friday Night Dinner (C4) and the fluffy ‘satire’ of TwentyTwelve (BBC Four). We’re not suggesting there’s no place for character driven comedy, quite the opposite. Nevertheless, and hurl things if this seems cynical, but when it’s repeatedly possible to watch 30 minutes of a new comedy without laughing, surely there’s something wrong. The success of The Inbetweeners (E4) is further evidence of what is missing- now and again the audience would like to laugh. Matt Tidby

Wanted, Jimmy’s mum promptly knocks her out with a frying pan and she is incarcerated and sent to death row. Nine months later and it turns out Lucy is pregnant and Jimmy is left holding Princess Beyoncé, after Lucy’s execution. After renaming the baby Hope, Jimmy struggles with the hardships of parenting, such as remembering to strap the car seat in and what type of baby food to buy. With the help of his eccentric family he tries to raise Hope as best he can. Raising Hope will become a family classic alongside Malcolm in the Middle and My Name is Earl; it balances the hardships of life with the joy of family and just a touch of quirkiness. Kate Allen


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Issue 255 31st March 2011

TV

Medical Drama This issue, Venue puts medical dramas under the microscope.

ER

House

Currently on Sky Atlantic

Sky One Thursday, 10pm

It is surely the enigmatic and electric portrayal of the show’s central character, Dr. Gregory House by Hugh Laurie, which shot the Brit to international stardom and made him the highest paid actor on U.S. television (earning him a whopping $400,000 an episode), which truly sets House apart. For, as anyone who’s watched House knows, although each episode ostensibly revolves around a new patient, and the race against time to diagnose their usually complex and/or bizarre set of symptoms, it’s not really about the patients or the medicine. It’s about House himself. The show follows the misanthropic and miserable medical genius as he tries to juggle his hatred of actually having to talk to his patients, his addiction to prescription painkillers and his fraught relationships

with those around him, including his boss and sometime lover Dr. Cuddy, whom he frequently upsets by ignoring hospital rules and regulations, and his one and only friend, Wilson. Although Laurie is the main reason to watch House, he is far from the only reason. House is the medical show that showed the others how it should be done. How any show should be done. It is consistently voted one of the best TV shows of all time and it’s easy to see why. Its combination of consistently sharp, witty writing and great acting from the entire cast ensures that House continues to be both a commercial and critical hit, even with seven seasons under its belt. Natalie Fletcher

It’s only been off our screens for two years but still no other medical drama quite comes close to the brilliant Golden Globe and multiEmmy Award Winning E.R. It first aired in 1995 with a then little-known actor, George Clooney as Dr. Douglas Ross and Anthony Edwards as Mark Greene. The shows’ trademark flowing camera movements add great sense of pace and urgency about the in-hospital medical scenes and there is a great feeling of cooperation in the way the characters glide seamlessly in and out of shot engaging in the razor-sharp and precise dialogue it is famous for. However, the show’s success lay in its superb blend of high-octane medical scenes and its character stories; never has a show been so dramatically procedural as well as

Casualty

BBC One Saturday, 9pm Of all of the medical dramas, Casualty has to be applauded for its fantastic achievements. It is the longest running programme of its genre – currently in its twenty fifth series. How many dramas can say that? Clearly Casualty has the essential ingredients which guarantee a winning show – relatable characters, thrilling storylines and a good dose of humour from time to time. The current main cast includes a variety of characters – typical lad Jay, loveable Big Mac, motherly Tess and stern Nick Jordan. In addition, Casualty gave us the genius character of Ruth, a doctor whose bedside manner would surely send everyone running for the hills. Ruth is also significant for being so ‘real’ – her cold exterior is a shield designed to protect her. The events which occur in Casualty are equally realistic, in

fact gruesomely so. Delicate souls should look away from their television screens, as past events include Tess being impaled by a pole, a patient developing severe gangrene and a character tripping and landing neck-first on a spike. Other members of staff have experienced unpleasant injuries, many inflicted by angry patients, but luckily not to the extent of Midsomer Murders. The medics have been joined by esteemed performers in the past – including Kate Winslet, Orlando Bloom, Christopher Eccleston and Ray Winstone. With the fantastic calibre of each Casualty cast, there is no doubt that the show will continue to produce exciting television. Beth Wyatt

being character driven. As an audience we are hooked by the emergencies and the way the doctors go about saving lives just as much as whether Carter and Abbey are going to get together (Season 9). Above all else, E.R. was artistic and inventive. The live episode in 1997 (performed twice in the space of four hours for the East Coast and then West Coast broadcast) was a joy to behold; there was no cracking up and the show glided so beautifully live as it did pre-recorded that it was a credit to the whole team. Though not on Freeview TV anymore, only available via box-set, E.R. has set the benchmark for medical dramas, one that is yet to be reached since, and is truly the definition of unmissable television. Tom Theedom


CREATIVE WRITING

Issue 255 31st March 2011 concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk

This issue, we showcase work from some of UEA’s best student writers... Hedgehogs, 20/10/10 for James Midgley We used to have hedgehogs at the bottom of the garden. We talk about China, we want noodles. He has more soy sauce than me, he bets. Tiny faces with sticky-up hair, soft spines: living conkers. But I have a huge bottle of it! He says he has millions, trust him. Pinecone spines, balled-up tiny fists, a tree more living than alive. I trust his mind, but millions? Facts are different from miscellaneous wanderings. I trust there having been hedgehogs in my garden. He squeezes the hedgehogs, he says. He milks soy sauce from their teats. I start to question my knowledge of hedgehogs. It’s all in the mind, he says. He, of course, is entirely reasonable.

There’s Always One

Robyn Comfort

The Compleat Angler This tangled fish wire cannot be ravelled away: here all clear and knotted round us both.

He stands up and tells us it is over. His voice, allied with time, slips in to call off the search and gently pushes us away from our desks, once such insipid symbols, now little marks of our former scholarly lives. What we would give to enjoy these last few minutes once again. ....impossible, of course.

We have been barb-hooked fast: each by the other’s rod. I swim with you, I feel your tug, my sentence structure syntaxing with yours, my stride stretching in step, my sleep surrounded by you, my cheek-flesh is sealing around the hook; clean and white skin scaling over. Don’t cut away the wire, it has welded into me. Don’t plier out the hook, it would bleed again. Jessica Daw

So, instead, to the air we go, where we light up our first adult cigarettes, take in the glorious fumes and laugh. We have done it. How wonderful we are; how free we are as we shed our skins and wait to bloom. On the last exhale, thoughts on our next steps are uncertain. How should we rise to the newness of the occasion? Must we? We wish we could stay put for now, just until we realise the truth (at which point we shall forget this moment, this dreamy lull). We don’t have much time, do we? Our afternoon hours treat us well. We don’t do anything spectacular, but we live as though living is always like this. The worry has set in for some of us. We look at our watches, taking

Creative Writing Events Wednesday 30th March Clunge Collective Cabaret at The Birdcage

Wednesday 6th April - AC Grayling at UEA Spring Literary Festival in LT1

Wednesday 20th April Late Shift at UEA Sainsbury Centre

Tuesday 29th March Edmund de Waal at UEA Spring Literary Festival

Spring is here and the world is going to hell in a handbasket, so what better way to celebrate than a night of comedy, poetry and music. in The Birdcage. Hosted by Andy Bennet. Entrance fee is £2. From 8pm

The philosopher AC Grayling will be reading from his new book The Good Book - “a thoughtful alternative for the many people who do not follow one of the world’s great religions.” Tickets are £6. From 7pm

Programmed by Liz Ballard with Nell Croose-Myhill, Alison Humphrey and Susie Showers featuring music made of junk materials, radical poetry and an interactive maze. From 6-9pm. Free entry

Edmund de Waal will be reading from his Costa category award winning biography The Hare with the Amber Eyes - a story of the ascent and decline of a Jewish dynasty. Tickets are £6. From 7pm in LT1

note of the time but not understanding it. What exactly is it we are waiting for? At last, the end is here (we just know). We cheer. This is it! We call out our goodbyes and our breaths bear the smells (of smoke and kisses, of supper and beer) of the enviable hours gone by. And away we go. Our travels see us as mourners and we weep without privacy, as you probably believe. What you probably do not believe is the life of the boy we leave behind. He checks his watch and sees it isn’t time to go yet; bit of a shame, really. Our decision to let go has not been collective, but it’s okay. There’s always one who stays. And when we visualise the prospective meetings of old friends, we see this curious phenomenon - the boy who never grew up. We figure this will be the case, but somehow it seems very, very unexpected. Then again, this is his dream, not ours. Let him be. Jude Barker

NEXT ISSUE A short story of 1,500 words Please email your submissions to concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk by 4th May


12

Creative Writing

Issue 255 31st March 2011

Writing a Love Poem

Nicole

She was the start of my unravelling as if a fork plunged into a plate of spaghetti had started to twist

after ‘Tender is the Night’

I have written that out so many times today it has to make sense. But the suspicion remains that this is nothing more than an attempt at rearranging what already happened and will not be moulded into something easily defined. So you pinpoint moments, twist them to what you wanted till the doubt has gone away and all that is left is the thought of waking to see her smiling at your fingers curled in her hair. Suddenly you feel sheets wrapped around tangled limbs, a sense of sunlight bursting through the half-open window, the faint rhythm of a curtain rocking in the morning breeze with all the reticence of a dream forgotten as soon as you wake. Robert Van Egghen

Unexpected I The parting kiss at the end of a mess of a night The bottle of wine you had forgotten purchasing Packed bags lying at the foot of the stairs The scratch of a key in the lock heard from the kitchen II Every word is one which I never would have predicted. Every shining beacon comes with his or her own defining lexicon. And learning it is a beautiful thing. Hers is no exception. Every word is unexpected. III The shape of your lips The message at 4am The hysterical laughter The poetry…

The Spanish Inquisition. Haha. James Sykes

Quote of the Week “Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very;” your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” - Mark Twain, American author and humourist

There was something in the way she held herself would be what they all said when they came to be asked It was how she crept and suddenly appeared with her hair round her shoulders that got their attention She stood for hours thinking she was somewhere else as the party pressed past while she never turned Some said they heard her shoes on the steps as she ran wearing the moonlight like the flimsiest cloak

James Foreman Corn Dog Hands lips hips feet kick at dripping air to turn us round and round again before the dizzy feeling stops us and the metal touches flesh that sticks and skitters little flecks of gravel up across the surface of your kneecaps. Sick to your gut but push arms out and over railings to the side of space so cold with fingers pulsing pushing thick red juice, or thin, we never looked too close before but there your finger sticking to the corner of my lip the nail you always bit against the cracks of foreign skin and I can taste the crumbs of corn dog that we ate for lunch across the street but now I want to eat it from your teeth. Flora Barker

from 231 The silent gong is no longer. Even now, I drape myself in the thousandth ferment of lachrymal juices and bemoan my fate. Announce to the gods, I shall sing till the hoarse perversion of my dirge becomes the tune. I shall bewail love-lost till the red earth drowns in my reproach. Numancia, Won’t you weep with me? The hunter returned except the catch. The purloiner is my brother suckled at mama’s breasts or so the fable goes. If I grieve aloud, who shall dissuade me? I am an outcast even to my kin. If I’m shod in ragged opulence who shall receive me? I wail anew beseech me not Niagara is my cousin. I will be true to my song Apollo is my son. I sing of love lost Yes! The One I know. Adetola Adepoju

Shards of Words Scrambling, you glue shards of words together, slice your finger on the point of a verb. Talking has suddenly turned into tightrope walking an electric fence. And each crack snows skin and ash, dusting faintly the words you left Rich Law


WIRED

Issue 255 31st March 2011 concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk

TECH SUPPORT When we think of the term ‘technology,’ there’s a reasonable likelihood that many of us would conjure up images of iPads, videogames, the Internet and enormous televisions. Who can blame us? Any popular technology website or publication focuses primarily on the sleek, swish and expensive gadgets that can fit into your pocket and allow you to do really cool (and sometimes really pointless) things. A quick look at Microsoft’s Kinect (the fastest selling gadget ever) tells us this much, and although this one won’t fit in your pocket, one could argue that it is utterly pointless. What I am trying to say here, is what about the useful technology? The stuff that some people could not easily live without? The term ‘a s s i s t ive technology’ (AT) refers to the technology specifically designed to assist people with disabilities and the elderly

people so that they can utilise the basic functions required to carry out the activities of daily living; these could be seeing, speaking, hearing, mobilising or a million other things that many of us take for granted. FAST (Foundation for Assistive Technology) describe AT as “any product or service designed to enable independence for disabled or older people,” so why is it that such incredible technology is repeatedly overlooked? Although many forms of AT are commonplace (hearing aids, wheelchairs, ergonomic accessories), there are some truly incredible and unique devices out there that change people’s lives in interesting and innovative ways. A good example of this is Wakamaru, a Japanese domestic robot that went on sale back in 2005. Wakamaru utilises a Linux operating system on multiple

microprocessors, accesses online connections and offers both speech and speech recognition services. The chief purpose of Wakamaru is to assist elderly and disabled people in their homes by providing companionship, prompting users to take their medication and calling for help in the case of an emergency. Jawahar Samagond, spokesperson for MontaVista Software, told wired.com that Wakamarus “ primary goal for the Japanese market is to provide companionship … to be with [patients] like a health-care provider.” The amazing thing here, is that in a not-sodistant future this actually could be a reality. The concept of robots replacing nurses may be a little avant-garde or sci-fi for 2011, so it may surprise you to hear that a lot of AT is relatively light in design and easy in implementation. This could be something as simple as height-adjustable furniture, a foot operated mouse (foot-mouse) or a brailleembosser (connects to your computer the same way as a text printer, though punches braille dots onto the paper). Even something like the Amazon Kindle or yes, the iPad, is in itself AT. Think of the benefits (text-to-speech, adjustable font size, portability) that eBook readers and tablet computers can potentially offer to someone with impaired vision, limited mobility or a learning difficulty – the advantages are endless, and often overlooked in favour of fun apps, connectivity and media gimicks. AT, then, is everywhere. The touch screen on your phone? AT. Spellcheckers? AT. Sticky Keys? AT. Whether a user has dyslexia or dementia, the way they interact with technology is to their advantage and assistance, and these advantages will often be different from user to user. Someone with

dementia, for example, may benefit from Telecare. This distinctive form of care offers person-centred technology to allow the older person to remain independent within their own home despite having a cognitive impairment such as dementia. In some cases this may involve a series of sensors around the home that send radio signals to a central unit (in the client’s home) when one of these sensors is triggered by movement; this will then send another signal to an aroundthe-clock surveillance centre where trained professionals can alert designated carers or appropriate emergency services to the situation. While the focus in technology does seem to be on glitzy gadgetry, there has been an increase in universally accessible technology – technologies that cater for typical as well as atypical users. This may be something as common as a TDD (telecommunications device for the deaf), though it could also be something requiring a number of devices such as an increased accessibility computer with ergonomic accessories and modified input devices. Awareness of AT appears to be spreading in the wake of inventions such as Wakamaru (and the less popular Cosmobot), though it looks like users have a long wait ahead of them before the likes of the 3DS and other high-key gadgets will be universally accessible. Resna.org offers a comprehensive overview of cutting edge AT, and is worth a look if you fancy checking out this alternative breed of technology. You’ll be happy to know you can access the site from your shiny new iPad.

TWEET THIS!

YOU GROUPIE

FUN 4 FREE

HTTP://

Some of the best, most interesting or just downright funny people tweeting right now!

Here’s one of the choice facebook groups doing rounds at the moment!

Wikipanion

Fun links to pass the time between socialising and learning.

@god_damn_batman One of the funniest fake twitter accounts (still waiting for a verified Batman account), this is Batman as the arrogant, pyschotic hellraiser we all want him to be. Essential if you want to keep up with how many Robin’s have suffered Spinal-Tap-drummer-esque fates so far. @tabloidwatch Delightfully angry blog putting the most objectionable examples of tabloid journalism in the spotlight, so you can see why Littlejohn is trending again without boosting the Mail’s advertising revenue. @Betfairpoker Pretty much nothing to do with poker, this is a masterclass in absurdist comedy and general chaos from the Betfair offices. If you’re not sold yet, here’s an example; ‘Whenever I pass a poster of Justin Bieber, I think “Ooh. Hilary Swank has aged well.’ Duncan Vicat-Brown

Offical Shake’s Frozen Custard Group This group is interesting because it highlights a modern trend in the notion that food is an institution. Shake’s is a restaurant in Feyetteville, AR. Shake’s Frozen Custard is ‘the hottest opportunity in frozen treats.’ Together these two things offer up a seemingly unique and exciting experience that fits any situation. Families go to Shake’s and lave with long-lasting memories of quality and fun. They eat Shake’s Frozen Custard just might relive childhood memories. The members of this group pool together over their love of the simple things in life: a good old fashioned dining experience that spans generations, and wholesome, multi-generational, electrifying fun. Times may have changed since the days of chicken and waffles, but the core concepts of suppertime bonding persist. It warms the heart, and if you’re looking for an alternative to the more uncouth groups, this one truly is a welcome change. DJ Turner

We’ve all been there before, you’re sat around, be it in your living room, kitchen or on campus in the bar, and a topic pops up that engages a heated discussion over whats what and who is right. Alternatively something crops up and you aren’t entirely sure what is being spoken about. Fear not, the answer to all your prayers rests in Wikipanion! Wikipanion allows instant access to any Wikipedia article out there. It boasts an iPhone and iPad friendly layout, a quick search function so you can find words in articles effortlessly, and stores the last 100 searches you did using it so if you need to dissipate an intellectual argument you’ve been present at before, now you can! Never will you be stumped by a topic of discussion again! Available on iTunes for iPhone and iPad

DJ Turner

The Daily Nice Photographer Jason Evans wants the world to be a much nicer place. He feels that at least once a day we should take time out and appreciate the hidden joys of life. His website The Daily Nice encapsulates this by showing one picture a day of something that made Jason smile that day. Truly touching stuff. www.thedailynice.com This Is Not Porn When a website makes a claim as bold as this, you imagine it to be ironic. On this occasion, however, it really isn’t porn. TINP contains a whole host of vintage and unknown celebrity snaps, such as Gary Oldman as a kid playing in a cockpit. It shows the more human side to the stars. www.thisisnotporn.net


Issue 255 31st March 2011

14 Wired

Homefront Format: PS3, 360, PC. Release: Out Now RRP: £29.99 - £42.99

Homefront has had a gradual build of interest recently. With an exciting plot line from high calibre writer John Millius, writer/director of Red Dawn and co-writer of Apocalypse Now, Homefront showed potential to enter the arena of blockbuster first person shooters. The premise of the game is intriguing. The game’s setting is the year 2027 where a united communist Korea has invaded and occupied the US. This story admittedly sounds a little ridiculous, but Millius has done a good job fleshing out the backstory with a swine flu epidemic in the US, a war between Iran and Saudi Arabia driving fuel prices to stratospheric levels and Korea using an EMP to cripple America’s armed forces. The single-player campaign starts with your character, an ex-US military pilot, being rescued from a Korean prisoner bus by American freedom fighters. From then on, you join the freedom fighters in their sabotages and attacks on the Korean occupiers. The story, however, never lives up to the setting’s potential. The other characters whom you join throughout the game fall into very stereotypical roles; the angry guy, the emotional woman and the tech guy. Your character feels more like a spectator as he never says anything to the other characters and only follows orders. The story follows a very linear path with set routes through the game’s seven chapters. This is not necessarily negative but, with the game’s setting within a sprawling suburbia it may have made for a better and more immersive experience if there had been more freedom to roam. However, the biggest problem with Homefront is that the single-player campaign is incredibly short, only taking at the absolute most six hours to complete and this

6/10 diminishes the game’s value considerably. The story feels cut short at the end in order to leave it open for a sequel. Just as you are getting into the story and starting to care about the resistance and the other characters, it finishes. One point to note about this game, though, is that it will certainly produce different emotions on both sides of the Atlantic. For the majority of Americans, the idea of their country being invaded, especially by communists, is very emotive; conversely, for European players, this is not such an important factor. For many Americans, fighting communists in shopping malls and Hooters restaurants is more relatable and motivating than the experience is for us. The same idea was used in the story of Modern Warfare 2: to better effect it must be said. Where Homefront comes into its own is its multiplayer. Online matches take place with up to 32 players in large levels with vehicle combat underpinning the experience, much like the Battlefield games. Nonetheless, the use of a Battle Points system that rewards players for kills and achieving objectives gives the multiplayer an interesting, distinctive feel. Points can be spent in the Armoury on weapons, perks and upgrades before matches begin or in matches on vehicles, which can often turn the tide of a match. The Battle Points system is well developed and diverse as there is so much to buy and each upgrade can effect each match differently, making the multiplayer quite addictive. Additionally the Battle Commander feature allows players to achieve optional

objectives during matches such as killing everyone on the enemy team or, on the other hand, killing a player who has earned their kill streak exclusively by killing you. Graphically, Homefront is average. Character design is impressive and the environments look sharp, not Black Ops standard though. There are a couple of especially explosive and chaotic exchanges that cause frame rate to slow down, but nothing too concerning. There are also one or two occasions where vehicles fall from the sky and although this is somewhat amusing, it does take you out of the experience slightly. Overall, Homefront fails to live up to its potential. The story idea is distinctive and exciting, still the pleasant, yet incredibly short, campaign will leave players wanting more, and not in the good way. The multiplayer does redeem the campaign to some extent with its diversity and addictiveness. Homefront fails to contend with the preeminent shooters of this generation in all areas, especially value for money, and therefore it is perhaps not worth buying. Instead, why not rent it just to have a go at the multiplayer. Josh Mott

+ + Interesting and fresh story +Fun online experience

- Campaign too short - Visually poor and plenty of glitches

Issue 255 31st March 2011

Wired 15

Killzone 3 Format: PS3, Release: Out Now RRP: £39.99 - £59.99 The Killzone series has always been one of the most hyped videogame series in the world. Killzone 2 made the headlines with its fantastic graphics, as the first showcase of what the PS3 could really do. By now the power of the Playstation is no longer such a surprise, at least until you play Killzone 3. Probably the best-looking game on console, there are times when you’ll just want to sit back and admire the view. No small part of this is how much detail has gone into designing the levels, everywhere you look there are little touches which help immerse the player in the game. T h e graphics aren’t the only thing that impress. Killzone 3 has a surprisingly intricate and thought out storyline, giving the

8/10 player an insight into the politics of the Helghan High Command, which includes some very extravagant facial hair and a Hitler look-a-like. Although the story is still fairly straightforward (continuing from Killzone 2, although the backstory is included for those who may not have played before) it i s still plagued by some of the most typical gaming clichés. Yet, it still manages t o be a

refreshing break from the often stale storylines of most videogames. The actual gameplay focuses on hard-fought and intense gunfights which require you to wear down your opposition rather than charge in all guns blazing a la Rambo. This gives each objective a deeper sense of satisfaction. One mission, just after the first third of the game, really mixes up the triedand-tested formula for a FPS game. Tasked with sneaking your way through a thick Helghan jungle, armed only with a machine pistol, stealth becomes the new tactic. There is also a neat revive system whereby your

comrades can revive you sometimes when you go down, which helps avoid frustration. However, the game isn’t without its faults, for instance exactly what your objectives are isn’t always clear. At one point this writer was told they needed to reach a point behind a huge metal gate. It got so frustrating that it resulted in manning a missile turret and blowing up about 20 comrades in arms. Fortunately this triggered the gate to open and a Helghan t a n k trundled out, which was then blown up too. T h e f u n d o e s n’ t stop after the campaign either, as the game comes with a fully-fledged online mode. It’s a more fluid version of Killzone 2’s multiplayer and looks almost as good as the singleplayer. The only gripe would be that there are only four game modes, which seems a little sparse compared to the huge range on offer in series like Call of Duty and Halo. Despite this, there is plenty to keep you entertained in the online arena, even if you do end up going back to Black Ops. Alex Stoodley

Age Appropriate? When it comes to the development of children, gaming generally receives a bad press. More than once, games such as the violent thriller Manhunt have even been directly linked to violent crime. They are often considered to be nothing more than a distraction from school and other ‘healthy’ activities, but does it have to be this way? Many studies have shown increased levels of aggression in children while playing

violent games, but others have suggested they are a safe outlet for this behaviour. Do many sports not encourage similar venting of aggression? The positive effects of gaming remain a fairly untouched area, but the work that has been conducted so far suggests that game playing actually develops many skills. Even in a non-educational. game the player has to develop their memory skills as well as problem solving abilities, quick thinking and engage higherlevel processes of thought than those present in a school environment. Some games can even translate specific skill sets over to real life. BBC’s Top Gear ran an experiment recently using the game iRacing, taking a pro player on a real race track, which he had never experienced

before. He then proceeded to nearly match the level of professional racers. This is clearly the aim of educational games, translating what children learn at school, but they often aren’t as fun. Why can other games not teach children anything whilst they are having fun? When enjoying yourself, you are at your most stimulated and receptive, just like studying a subject you love. Ratings are there to protect players, your children should not be playing brutal killers at the age of six, nor should they be gaming all day, every day. However, you shouldn’t restrict yourself to thinking games will ruin their education or promote serious violence there is a whole, largely unexplored world of good they can do. Chris Axe


FILM

Submarine Director: Richard Ayoade Release Date: 18/3/11 Based on the first novel from UEA Creative Writing graduate Joe Dunthorne, we can only feel pride in the success of latest British phenomenon, Submarine. Set in Swansea, Wales, we follow Oliver Tate (Craig Roberts), a teenage schoolboy who believes he is a cool literary genius but in reality, he is socially inept and awkward. Convinced that his father (Noah Taylor) is depressed, and his mother (Sally Hawkins) is having an affair with her life coach (Paddy Considine), he embarks on a mission to bring his parents dysfunctional marriage back

together. Alongside this, Oliver becomes completely infatuated by fellow student Jordana (Yasmin Paige) and must prove his worth in order to win her heart. Submarine marks IT Crowd’s Richard Ayoade’s directorial debut, and for those of you who just know him as ‘the funny guy with the afro’, this film showcases not only his talent as a comedian but also his genius as a filmmaker. With a backdrop palette of striking picture-perfect seaside landscape, and a tender acoustic soundtrack from Arctic Monkey’s Alex Turner, the film presents itself flawlessly. Submarine’s personality cannot be denied when Oliver Tate provides a hilarious voiceover, offering

Limitless

Director: Neil Burger Release Date: 23/3/11

Limitless is a thriller about a dishevelled writer (Bradley Cooper) who discovers an experimental drug which can expand the bounds of his mind and unlock his full potential. He promptly uses his newfound abilities to beat writer’s block, win back his estranged girlfriend and make himself a multimillionaire via the stock market. It will come as no surprise that the drug has unpleasant side effects, not to mention the issue of his supply being decidedly limited. Hi-jinks involving hit men, Russian gangsters and corrupt Wall Street execs ensue, Neil Burger directs the

movie with considerable enthusiasm, and Cooper proves to be an arresting protagonist. De Niro is excellent as always, although criminally underused. Although the concept is engaging, the script is patchy as gangsters and greedy businessmen are familiar narrative devices. The camerawork is inventive and energetic but ended up feeling like an overexcited dog jumping up at you. The protagonist’s constant narration is also grating as he delights in pointing out the obvious. The final reel redeems the film somewhat, containing a dark and tense action scene. Limitless seems desperate to impress, but could have been tighter and more intelligent. Leo Hunt

Issue 255 31st March 2011 concrete.film@uea.ac.uk

the inner most private and twisted thoughts of the

unfold with actors Craig Roberts and Yasmin Paige

average teenager. If that wasn’t enough, Submarine exposes a strong cast of fresh, young British actors. The chemistry and relationship between Oliver and Jordana is a joy to watch

executing it with endearing innocence and sincerity. Submarine flirts relentlessly with the turbulence and playful euphoria of young romance, creating a new age love story upon screen. As

Chalet Girl

Director: Phil Traill Release Date: 16/3/11

The premise is a simple one. Poor tragic girl meets spoilt wealthy boy, and they fall in love. Traill’s British film depicts the exclusive world of the luxury ski resort, where the chalets are like mansions and helicopters trump ski lifts. Kim Mathews (Felicity Jones) is a poor teenage girl who escapes a burger chain to become a chalet girl. Whilst there, she not only discovers snowboarding, but also finds love on the slopes. As well as its formulaic and predictable plot, the characters are tremendously stereotypical. The rich women are all bitches, the

men are all letches except for a roguish Scandinavian and the nice one who Kim falls in love with. Chalet Girl is littered with famous faces. Bill Nighy and Brooke Shields play the uber-rich parents along with Bill Bailey as Kim’s struggling father. St Trinian’s Tamsin Egerton and Ed Westwick of Gossip Girl fame, provide the totty as they squint and pout their way through the film. The mountain scenery is stunning, Jones is likeable as feisty Kim and the film does possess an absurd feel-good factor. But it is telling when the most entertaining part of a film is the cast singalong that accompanies the credits. Sarraounia Christianson

well as new talent, the film stars acting legends such as Paddy Considine, who also delivers an unforgettable, whacky performance. As for the comedy aspect, Submarine evokes a carefree, quirky humour that drives the narrative effortlessly. The coming-ofage story lends itself a lot to the humour, capturing the awkward curiosity of teenage life. Many laughs are had when a cassette tape is given to Oliver from his father, containing a playlist of relationship songs, such as those for love making, and songs for breaking up. The comedic elements however, do not overshadow the substance of the film, but compliment the highs and lows of a changing teenager

in an ever-difficult world. As a result, Submarine sails much further into the complexities of growing up, unlike similar predecessors whom barely touch the surface. Already proving a huge hit on the festival circuit, it has established itself as a groundbreaking gem of a film. This movie shows exactly what the UK film industry is all about, and what it is capable of. Here’s hoping this confident, indie delight will mark a trend in high quality pictures to come, because there is no doubt about it, Submarine plunges you deep into the essence and charm of a great British film. Anna Eastick

Lincoln Lawyer

Director: Brad Furman Release Date: 18/3/11

Based on the book by renowned novelist Michael Connelly, The Lincoln Lawyer depicts the story of defence lawyer Michael ‘Mick’ Haller (Matthew McConaughey). Mick may cruise the streets in a chauffeur-driven car emblazoned with ‘NT GUILTY’, but his lifestyle is far from admired – the mother of his child Hayley, Maggie McPherson (Marisa Tomei), asks “How does someone like you sleep at night with all the scum you represent?” However, Mick’s latest client is different from the rest. Louis Roulet (Ryan Phillippe) is a bachelor who hails from the land of the

wealthy – Beverly Hills – and has been arrested for attacking a woman. In his usual manner, Mick takes to the streets in his beloved car – charismatic in his sharp suit and expecting to wrap up the case in no time. As with the best crime dramas though, The Lincoln Lawyer deftly creates a web of threads which only link together at the climax of the film. The cast members are just as exciting – McConaughey and Phillippe excel as two men engaged in an increasingly psychological battle. With dramatic courtroom scenes and everchanging perceptions of the characters, The Lincoln Lawyer is one of the most thrilling films of 2011. Beth Wyatt


Film 1 7

Issue 255 31st March 2011

You will meet a tall dark stranger

Director: Woody Allen Release Date: 18/3/11 Woody Allen’s latest offering, set in London, follows a starstudded cast through the rather depressing plot of love lost. Alfie (Anthony Hopkins) leaves his wife for a younger ‘scrumpet’ (Lucy Punch) in an attempt to remain young at heart. Suicidal Helena (Gemma Jones) is told by a psychic she is going to find someone soon, her daughter (Naomi Watts) and son-inlaw (Josh Brolin) also go out in hunt of alternative love – she turns to her boss, he to a lusty young woman. As with most of Allen’s directorial outputs of late, the film has no real strong narrative but is an observation of lives and love.

This is not a laugh-out-loud comedy, nor is it a particularly cheery one as the main theme is seemingly desperation in the face of age, with almost every character unhappy with their current relationships. In no doubt reflecting Allen’s increasingly nihilistic view on life, it does make for a rather tough watch. That said, it is Woody Allen after all, and he couldn’t make an ordinary film if he tried. The tone is pessimistic but intriguing, and it is spattered with moments of charm . …Stranger is not for everybody, but is certainly worth a watch if you’re looking for a departure from all the rom-com’s and action flicks. Or if, like Woody, you’re just bloody depressed. Tom Theedom

Faster

Director:George Tillman Jr. Release Date: 25/3/11

Faster is dumb. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson plays a man so constantly and violently wound up he makes Tug from Brick look like Third Rock from the Sun. Carla ‘keeps her top on in this one’ Gugino’s detective refers to a suspect as a ‘dude’. The twist is almost offensively illogical. When asked who his new target is, an assassin replies with ‘I never ask.’ And, at one point, a surgical metal plate in someone’s head stops a bullet. Yeah, it’s full of that kind of shit. Faster is also hideously pofaced. Crank and Shoot ‘Em Up revelled in the glorious trash on display, and were all the better for it. But Faster thinks it’s a proper, Get Carter-esque revenge thriller. Most of the

Dvd Releases Tamara Drewe

Dir: Kevin Macdonald Release Date: 25/3/11

Let’s get this out of the way right now. If The Eagle is trying to be historic then a reduction in American accents would be a massive leap in improving this goal. Now, with that complaint out of the way, its sense of realism is again broken down by the depiction of the Picts. Whilst no one’s questioning that their civilisation was nowhere near advanced as the Romans, The Eagle portrays them as some sort of Celtic, Na’vi hybrids. You’ll understand when you see them. A further let down is that the plot feels rushed. You feel you missed something when Channing

Tatum’s Marcus Aquila and Jamie Bell’s Esca show their sudden friendship. Despite this, what you want most out of this kind of film is good fight scenes. The Eagle certainly delivers. The action is suitably violent whilst not overdoing the gore. Undoubtedly the best part of the film being an action-packed beginning that is more than satisfying. In the end, if The Eagle had gone for a different tact, and chosen more action than plot, then maybe the mistakes could have been forgiven. However, as it is this is a film that, for an hour, feels like it’s just treading water.

Alex Dobrik

Jackass 3-D Director: Jeff Tremaine Release Date: 28/3/11

Director: Stephen Frears Release Date: 28/3/11

All the boys love Tamara Drewe. Set in a quaint English village the film follows the title character as she returns home to sell her childhood house after her mother’s death. However, she is in store for so much more. Serendipitously running into a childhood love, who just happens to be the strapping but sweet type, she is asked to choose between him and the sex god band member complete with questionably bad-ass eyeliner. The film is funny and flirty

script’s inane philosophies are delivered as earnestly as the sermon on the mount. It’s easy to lose count of how much time Dwayne spends looking at the picture of his dead brother. Characters are given names like ‘Driver’ and ‘Killer’, and Jennifer ‘Debra in Dexter’ Carpenter, in the most hilariously earnest cameo in recent memory, is simply ‘Woman.’ Faster is not entirely bereft of merit. It’s well paced, nicely shot and has a couple of nice action beats, particularly when engaging in some particularly filthy vehicular porn. Johnson, an underrated screen presence, makes for an engagingly intense protagonist, and clearly ‘get’s it’ more than anyone else involved. But even he can’t make this dire-logue fun. Faster; why so serious? Duncan Vicat-Brown

The Eagle

with everyone ultimately ending up in love triangles and trying to figure out who they really want to be with. From teenagers lusting after rock stars, to marriages of 25 years, the film really does have something for everyone. Tamara Drewe, played by Gemma Arterton, has that cute but seductive way about her, but the idea that the character has had a nose job seems a little random, constantly referred to but not really contributing much to the narrative. But

it is a romantic comedy it shouldn’t really be dwelled on too much. An interesting aspect to the story is the fact that it is mainly influenced by the actions of a pair of 15 year old girls trying to have some fun in an eventless village .It’s a cute little romantic comedy, very English with it’s humour and settings, and has a widely ranging age of characters which would appeal to the masses. Radosava Radulovic

Ten years since the conception of Jackass, and Johnny Knoxville is looking a little worn around the edges. Who could blame him? There’s only so much beating, scolding and electrocution the average man can take: let alone the crazy man that actually volunteers for this kind of intense trauma and physical pain. Nevertheless, here Knoxville and his band of merry men are again: it’s Jackass 3-D, and its bigger, badder and sicker than ever before. It might be the onehundredth time that we see

Steve-O drink someone else’s bodily fluids, but somehow it never gets old. There’s something almost charming about the innocent slapstick funniness of the Jackass protocol; that they don’t need a big budget, elaborate setup or legitimate reason to do these stupid things, and yet still manage to create consistent entertainment. Sometimes it isn’t even the quality of the stunt that gets you laughing, but the hysterical guffaw omitted from a group of fully-grown men who stagger

to move past the hilarity of pulling out eachothers’ chairs. Ridiculous highlights include the ‘Giant high five’, ‘Super mighty glue’ and ‘Bee swingball’…although the less said about the ‘Sweat cocktail’ the better. The DVD may not come in 3-D format, but we are provided with both the cinematic and director’s cut version of the film - the latter of which is highly recommended, if you can stomach the amount of nudity and exploding faeces. Steph McKenna


Issue 255 31st March 2011

18 Film

Summer Blockbusters Concrete Film takes a look at what’s in store for Summer 2011

X-men First Class

In 2000, Bryan Singer single-handedly resurrected the Comic Book film genre with X-Men, a film that took the cream of Hollywood, and combined it with state of the art special effects and a dark, gritty story, while simultaneously ditching the camp latex of the comics that inspired it. The film, and its sequels, were so successful that by the time X-Men: The Last Stand came out in 2006, the world had been introduced to Spiderman,

Batman Catwoman, the Hulk, Hellboy, the Punisher, Daredevil, and the Fantastic Four. It was official: the geeks had taken over Hollywood. Now, five years and over a billion Christopher-Nolan-Batman-inspired dollars later, the team that kicked it all off is back for another round, yellow latex and all. Completely replacing the original trilogies cast, the film ditches the modern day in favour of an origin story set in the early

The Whistleblower Due for release this August, The Whistleblower is a political thriller based on the incredible true story of Nebraska Cop Kathryn Bolkovac. When Kathryn signs up with a private military contractor supporting the UN peace-keeping campaign in a war-torn Bosnia in 1999, she thought she’d be helping re-build people’s lives. Instead, she finds herself caught up in an organization which she discovers is involved in running the massive sex trafficking trade. Her horror increases when she realises the UN are helping to cover up the evidence, and if she wants to stop it she will have to be fight against the authorities themselves. Faced with the difficult task of collecting evidence and testimonies right under the noses of her colleagues, Kathryn knows she’ll be risking her life in order to fight for the justice of hundreds of women. The Whistleblower stars the talented Oscar-winning Rachel Weisz as Kathryn, supported by a cast which includes Monica Bellucci, Vanessa Redgrave and Ian Cunningham. First shown at the 2010 Toronto International Film Festival, The Whistleblower is the feature film debut for director Larysa Kondracki. So what has the reaction been to this film so far? Well, it has already won Kondracki an Audience Award for ‘Best Narrative Feature’ at the Palms Springs International

1960’s, with the pressure of the Cold War forming a nice backdrop to all the paranoid Mutant tension that has fuelled the series. James McAvoy takes over from Patrick Stewart as a walkin, talkin, not-baldin Charles Xavier, while Michael Fassbender replaces Ian Mckellen as Magneto. They, along with a host of brand new mutated faces, are fighting a secret mutant society hell-bent on world domination, and led by Kevin Bacon’s ‘Sebastian Shaw’. The film looks to up the number of Mutants substantially, with seventeen separate ones appearing in the trailer alone. The series seems eager to answer fans demands, cramming in as many favourites as it can, turning the fighting in this film into an all-out war from the get-go. Singer is reduced to producer this time, replaced by Matthew Vaughn, fresh off his success with Kick-Ass.

Comic book blockbusters have come a long way since X-Men - we’ll have to wait until early June to find out if the ones that started it all can keep up. Tim Bates

The Green Lantern

Film Festival and audiences seem to unanimously agree that Rachel Weisz’s performance is outstanding. However, although the trailer seems to promise that this film will be fast-paced, dark and gritty, some reviewers have complained that it fails to keep moving and therefore loses the tension such a thriller should provide. Yet, Kathryn Bolkovac’s unbelievably harrowing tale certainly deserves to be told and it would be impossible for it to not touch the emotions of viewers this summer. Hopefully this film will provide a change from the usual surge of light-hearted family fun commonly released in the summer season.

Lorna Pontefract

Ryan Reynolds has been known to split opinion in the past so the casting of him as The Green Lantern couldn’t have come without its risks. The film is in good hands though as Casino Royale and Edge of Darkness director Martin Campbell is in the hot seat and TV’s No Ordinary Family scribe Greg Berlatini is sure to give the script a solid injection of humour and sense of fun. In the last couple of weeks the first clips of the new DC Comics and Warner summer blockbuster have been made available to view online… and things are looking good! Its only very rough cuts but you get the picture; the story will follow Hal Jordan (Reynolds), a cocky test-pilot, as he comes across a crashlanded alien who gives him an all-powerful green ring and power lantern.

The ring and lantern are said to give the barer great control over the physical world as long as the user has sufficient strength and willpower to wield them – we’re talking super strength, ability to fly… everything! Jordan must step up the game now as he is effectively on a inter-galactic peace-keeping mission and an honorary member of the Green Lantern Corps. From the images released it looks to be a lot of fun, with Reynolds on top charismatic/ arrogant form, the special affects look great and there is certainly a lot of fun to be had with the ‘ordinary man with extra-ordinary powers’ storyline. Watch this space! The Green Lantern is released Friday 17th June. Tom Theedom


Issue 255 31st March 2011

Film 19

Summer Blockbusters Concrete Film takes a look at what’s in store for Summer 2011

Super

Cowboys and Aliens

If aliens were ever to invade planet Earth, then why should it be any less feasible for it to occur amidst the colonial conflicts between American settlers and Apache tribes 150 years ago? This was the question asked by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg when he wrote the 2006 graphic novel, Cowboys and Aliens. After years of competition between studios for adaptation rights, it finally fell to Jon Favreau, in his first directorial endeavour since his successful Iron Man franchise, to bring the novel to cinematic life. Daniel Craig stars as nomadic cowboy, Jake Lonergan, who wakes up in the desert with no memory of his past, a mysterious shackle attached to his wrist, and a warrant for his arrest awaiting him on arrival in the town of Absolution. Lonergan’s captor, Colonel Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) must overcome his pride and cooperate with Lonergan, as well as the Apache tribesman, to withstand a violent alien attack on Absolution, as it

becomes apparent that Lonergan’s shackle holds the key to overcoming the invaders. The teaser trailer hit Comic-Con last year and received high appraisals regarding its surprising originality and impressive cast. Visually, the trailer gave the impression that Cowboys and Aliens will be a combination of Sergio Leone’s A Fistful of Dollars and Spielberg’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind, to create an entirely original fusion of genres. This buzz has now escalated into unprecedented excitement for the film’s release, and sees it atop many peoples’ lists of films to see this summer. If the opportunity to see Harrison Ford back in a cowboy hat is not a good enough reason alone to go and watch the film, then the chance to see a showdown between James Bond, Indiana Jones, and little green men from outer space, certainly should be. James Burrough

Welcome back, James Gunn, it’s been a while. Unless you caught the hilarious web series James Gunn’s PG Porn, or saw him judge Scream Queens, aka. Saw meets America’s Next Top Model, you probably haven’t seen his work since his ultra-gooey debut, Slither. a gleefully sick splatter-com that has gained a cult following on DVD but underperformed so dramatically at the box office that The Hollywood Reporter said it ‘might have killed off the horror-comedy genre.’ Super, his sophomore effort, bears more than a passing resemblance to Kick-Ass, both in terms of plot (Ordinary Joe and feisty young female sidekick wear costumes and take on crime) and, as the trailer and early clips suggest, in execution; gore, profanity and comic book quirkiness, all present and correct. But Super promises to go further. Rainn Wilson’s red-clad, wrench-wielding Crimson Bolt/Frank D’arbo is a much bigger loser than Kick-Ass’ faux-geek protagonist (no

up-against-some-bins nookie for this chap), and early buzz calls it ‘hyper-violent, enough so that some – who don’t get the joke – will be turned off ’. That early buzz has been very encouraging, with the blogosphere praising Gunn’s vision, the script’s pitch black humour and its more authentic (read ‘less optimistic’) depiction of the kind of mind that might turn to vigilantism. The film’s ending has also received high praise, and was described by one critic as ‘incredibly interesting and fresh.’ Super, however funny/dark/clever/violent it turns out to be, will most likely appeal to a fairly specific audience. But Gunn, as visionary a director as Gaspar Noé or Zack Snyder (He may have gone totally bat shit with Sucker Punch, but you can’t deny Snyder has vision. Gun-y, slo-mo, boob-y vision.), is never less than entertaining. If you came out of Kick-Ass wishing it was called Wrench-Ass, you’d better start working on your costume. Duncan Vicat-Brown

The Hangover II The wolf pack is back and this time they’ve been let loose in Bangkok. Having kept details under wraps during production, Todd Phillips has finally released the film’s synopsis and promised some interesting additions which will definitely draw in a crowd. The teaser trailer leaves you wanting more, showing the gang strutting in a badass, Reservoir Dogs-esque way, looking like they’ve been to hell and back. The tattoo on Ed Helms’ face and the wrecked hotel, coupled with the confirmation of Mike Tyson and Mr Chow’s return and a run-in with a

tiger in it’s natural habitat pledges that the film will be eventful and unlike a stag night you’ve ever experienced. If none of this tickles your funny bone then the Capuchin in a waistcoat is a safe bet for a laugh. The film takes on basically the same synopsis as the original: a group of guys on a bachelor party weekend which gets totally out of hand. However, having had such an astounding success with the first, the cast and crew now have the job of making part two as good or better than the film that garnered such praise to

begin with, especially since the media and fans have been following the film with much anticipation. Sequels are always a rather dubious subject with people

constantly comparing them to the originals and Todd Phillips is well aware of this, assuring that they’re aiming high and the film will be as enjoyable as the first.

The release date is set for the 27th May making it one of the first summer blockbuster and will provide a much wanted release from all those exam blues and

will get you geared up any holidays planned. You never know what could happen.

Radosava Radulovic


Comedy

Issue 255 31st March 2011 concrete.listings@uea.ac.uk

Idiots of Ants and UEA Headlights Alex Ross caught up with the award-winning comedy sensation Idiots of Ants, and UEA’s very own Headlights society for a night of sensational sketch comedy. With nominations for Society of the Year and Most Improved Society at the UEA student awards, it seems only fitting that the UEA Headlights should convene with Idiots of Ants and their five star ratings at the Edinburgh Fringe. The lack of live comedy at UEA is a problem that Headlights are more than ready to face head on and the near sell-out crowd at the UEA tonight is a fine example of both the audience for comedy and the hard work that has gone into its publicity. Speaking to Daniel Taylor, himself nominated for Service to a Society at the awards, the desire both to bring comedy to campus and to further the progress of a society in only its second year is noticeable in his modest excitement. “We just want to keep taking this to the next level. The goal is to take the group to Edinburgh next year and we don’t think that’s far fetched.” As for Idiots of Ants, “They’re brilliant”, he assures Concrete. “You’ll love them”. Understandably, they open with some nerves. But such nerves serve only to endear and warm the LCR to their unique and scattergun approach to sketch comedy. This approach can be seen in sketches about James Bond’s meeting with a relationship councillor (her name is Dr Lushtits) and a donator to a cancer charity who demands his three pounds back because ‘it hasn’t been cured yet’. The sketches blend seamlessly together; most probably because of the rapturous response they are afforded, and the audio-visual work done behind the scenes is

“It’s a fantastic breeding ground for new comedy and something that should be promoted more. The work that Headlights have done to create something like this is fantastic.”

polished and professional. It’s enough to make you believe that Headlights are far more established than they are, and proves that they are a more than worthy support act to their illustrious headliners. When Idiots of Ants do take to the stage after a brief intermission, they look every bit the seasoned professionals that they are. Of course, after shows on BBC Radio 7 and a TV sketch show mooted to appear next year, it is little more than expected. But for an audience that, like much of the population, is accustomed to Mock the Week-style stand up, the unique brand of energetic and frantic comedy that emanates from the group makes them both hilarious and vital. When things go wrong, as on many occasions they do, their natural comic instincts take hold and such instincts are harnessed magnificently. Speaking to Concrete after the show, looking visibly worn out, Elliot Tiney, one quarter of the troupe, was not only gushing about the performance of their support act, but outspoken on the importance of student comedy. Said Tiney – “it’s a fantastic breeding ground for new comedy and something that should be promoted more. The work that Headlights have done to create something like this is fantastic.” Tiney’s not wrong. It seems that with the support that they’ve garnered and the natural talent involved in Headlights, next year the newcomer tag will be as easily dropped from them as has been from tonight’s headliners...

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MUSIC

Issue 255 31st March 2011 concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

GIG REPORTS KT TUNSTALL

U E A , L C R 0 7 / 0 3 / 2 0 1 1

Photo by Pippa Artus Back in the halcyon days of 2005, a virtual unknown by the name of KT Tunstall was given 24 hours to prepare for a slot on Later… With Jools Holland after rapper Nas pulled out at extreme short notice. Turning up with only an acoustic guitar, voice and a loop pedal, the Scottish singer-songwriter gave a gutsy, gravelly performance of the single ‘Black Horse And The Cherry Tree’ that blew the seasoned Futureheads and The Cure (the night’s headlining guests) out of the water. It looked like the UK might have found its first ballsy songstress since PJ Harvey shook the country’s foundations back in the early ‘90s.

…Or so we thought. 2006’s Eye To The Telescope magnified less of the raw spark that had made the Jools slot so vital and more of the polished, pop-rock sheen that found Radio 2 devotees absentmindedly tapping their feet. Two almost identical albums later, and it is easy to write KT off as a Terry Wogan lapdog rather than a post-modern riot-grrl. Yet, as she takes to the LCR stage on Monday night in a pair of skin-tight leather trousers with a Gretsch White Falcon slung across her torso, it seems that Tunstall’s got some fight left in her yet. On record, the only grit that you’re likely

to hear from KT is the unfortunate artefacts that come as the by-product of too much compression for the radio market. Live, however, Tunstall’s voice sounds like Janis Joplin and Lemmy had a baby and weaned it on Jack Daniels. It’s called rock ‘n’ roll honey, and KT knows it intimately. Enough of a polite air to placate the Radio 2 devoted, but with an underlying ‘fuck you’ swagger bubbling just below the surface, it’s the kind of sound that, blasting through a P.A, makes you all the more pissed off that her records are so, well, average. ‘Black Horse And The Cherry Tree’ is, of course, the night’s highlight, a fleeting

glimpse of what could have been, and as the subdued applause of the placated middleaged audience rounds out the evening, you can’t help but lament the missed opportunity that is Tunstall’s rocking potential. After all, while it’s one thing to play to the indifference of the FM faithful, it’s another altogether to bring them to their knees. The onstage display at the LCR shows that KT could go either way. Maybe it’s time to remind her that, as an old Scottish rhyme once noted, sometimes it’s much better to take the high road. Emily Prichard and Russell Hammond


Issue 255 31st March 2011

22 Music

GIG REPORTS THE LEVELLERS

U E A , L C R 1 6 / 0 3 / 2 0 1 1

Photo by Harriet Jones Quoting French Anarchist philosophers, slamming NME, and covering obscure punk bands, The Levellers music was never supposed to be for a mass audience. And yet, their fiercely independent ethic and universal themes of empowerment chimed with the stinging hangover of the 80s, and came to embody the beating heart of the UK underground in the early 90s, boiling over and sizzling their frothy folk-punk goodness all over the mainstream with the classic 1991 album Levelling The Land. Popping out like a fully-formed yet warped and bastardized golden egg, the album flitted between rowdy punk anthems

and jangly acoustic storytelling, runaway jigs and sharp social commentary, all wrapped up in an infectious energy. Still, the weight of expectation is a heavy burden to bear, and begs the question of whether they still cut it live? As the band arrive onstage to an evocative montage of the recent student riots and the poll tax riots of 20 years ago, we are reminded that everything is still shite and that voices of dissent are more needed than ever. Cue The Levellers, blasting into the anthemic ‘One Way’, blistering through ‘The Game’ and discharging the random energy of ‘15 Years’ upon the baying crowd.

The audience look like a homogenous group of counter cultures who have banded together on a booze fuelled unity mission to save the world, and the band themselves are no different. Still looking every part the ragtag collective of outlaws, Simon Friend’s gruff street punk poetry and Mark Chadwick’s melodic cry intertwine to take the spirit of the underground and blast it out to the world. Think Seasick Steve and Springsteen co-fronting a carnival of wandering minstrelpunks. There are, however, some signs that this vibrant band have been at it for over 20 years. They let their more mellow side come

through later in the set, which doesn’t quite pay off, as the crowd are clearly here to party like the public order act never existed. But a barnstormer is never far around the corner and the band have the crowd enraptured throughout and, come the sweat drenched climax, they roar the band on to two encores. Happily obliging, The Levellers treat us to the cream of their sonic crossover anthems of their 23 year tenure, reminding us why they’ve meant so much to so many for so long.

Joe Dobraszczyk


Music 2 3

Issue 255 31st March 2011

GIG REPORTS THE MARINER’S CHILDREN

NORWICH ARTS CENTRE 1 6 / 0 3 / 2 0 1 1

With the bandwagon’s wheels creaking beneath the weight of kids with curly hair and cords, and London’s pawnshops full of Telecasters traded in for acoustic guitars, the promise of a co-headlining bill of ‘folk’ acts could so easily go the wrong way. Thank fuck then for Grenouilles. Opening with ‘Bones’, lead singer Matt Myles sounds like a glorious combination of Nick Drake and Zac Condon and when violinist Ali Rogers steps out of the shadows to sing lead vocals on new track ‘Winter Hare’, it’s so fragile and graceful that the packed Arts Centre falls into stunned silence. On paper it seems like the perfect introduction to a band like Cocos Lovers; all violins, flutes and bare feet. They are, however, immensely frustrating; half of their set is beautiful, half gives the impression of kids in a music shop. There’s no question that their folksy exuberance and tight harmonies grab the attention of the crowd and hold it for a while. When lead singer Will

Photos by Milly Sampson

THE WOMBATS

U E A , L C R 1 3 / 0 3 / 2 0 1 1 Nothing builds an appetite more than being made to wait. Delayed by two months for the completion of their new album, The Wombats Proudly Present: This Modern Glitch, fans were finally rewarded for their patience. So on a post-roast Sunday night, the band of three from Liverpool wasted no time instilling energy into an eager crowd. The night started with the punchy favourite ‘Backfire At The Disco’, a cautionary tale of dance floor rejection. This was closely followed by ‘Kill The Director’, a swipe at how real life romance differs so drastically from the neatly laid out plans of a rom com. The song came complete with the crowd inducing chant ‘this is no / Bridget Jones’, and calls to ‘kill the director’, a strange echo of the Smith’s call to ‘hang the DJ’ some 25 years previously. A more apparent nod to the past came with ‘Let’s Dance To Joy Division’ which furiously relays the irony

of finding happiness although everything around you appears to be collapsing. Exuberance took a back for a couple of tracks midway through the set, the most resonant being ‘1996’, a slower song, reflecting on the power of adolescent first experiences, growing up, and how you can ‘never beat those teenage kicks’. Video projections played throughout the night worked well to compliment the songs. An atmospheric dark, tangled wood set the stage for ‘Party in a Forest [Where’s Laura]?’, and an enveloping haze for the latest track ‘Jump Into The Fog’. The set culminated with ‘Moving to New York’ and ‘Tokyo (Vampires and Wolves)’, two energetic favourites both warmly received by the crowd. This is where the Wombats really excel, in their ability to sing modern, vibrant songs, with a dash of humour and self-deprecation, without ever straying into the throwaway or vacuous. Although fans might have had to wait a little longer than expected to see the Wombats, they’ll have left that night feeling it’s been well worth the wait. Tom Moore

Greenham temporarily leaves the stage, the octet begins to rely solely upon charm with no vocalist strong enough to stitch together the often-glorious chaos in the background. The same cannot be said though of London imports The Mariner’s Children. More subtle than chaotic, tonight they are nothing less than enthralling throughout. ‘It Carved Your Name into the Ground’ is a particular standout, showcasing the seven piece’s ability to change gear instantly from the cry of ‘I w i l l scream and shout’ to the hushed whispers of Ben Rubinstein’s resolve to ‘put an axe through your front door’. That’s not to say that sincerity gets in the way of a good time; accordionist and singer Emma Gatrill leaps off stage at one point to dance for an entire song with the front row and the audience responds in kind. Eventually a playful glance to the heavens results in Rubinstein requesting the use of a disco ball for the last two songs and by the time the magnificent and haunting refrain of ‘Coal’ has burned out,shivers run down the spine of the Arts Centre. Alex Ross

Photo by Harriet Jones


Issue 255 31st March 2011

24 Music

GREEN DAY AWESOME AS FUCK

“Sometimes I think we’ve become totally redundant because we’re this big band now, we’ve made a lot of money - we’re not punk rock any more. But then I think about it and just say, ‘You can take us out of a punk rock environment, but you can’t take the punk rock out of us’.” In many ways, Green Day has got a right to be apprehensive about their recently acquired mega stardom. With the meteoric rise to success of 2004’s American Idiot and 2008’s semi sequel 21st Century Breakdown, they’ve found themselves a wider fan base then their cult-punk status of years gone by would ever have afforded them. Indeed, a swift glance at the track listing for the recent tour document Awesome As Fuck reveals a selection of cuts apparently chosen purely to pander to the band’s post 2005 devotees. Strangely, it seems to hark back to similar offerings from the latter day, Phil Collins fronted Genesis; a second phase career revival that ignores their pre-2004 past. To the band’s credit, their effortless transition from snot-nosed stalwarts into a stadium sensation makes for captivating viewing/listening. Billy Joe Armstrong might just be one of the great front men of his

CD REVIEWS generation, and while the added saxophone and keyboard personnel seems less Green Day and more Billy Joe and the Green Street Band, the fuller sonic offering on display here could have made for a compelling audio visual experience. The problem with Awesome As Fuck is that it fails spectacularly in capturing the essence of the live experience. Sure, we’re not subject to the nauseating direction-cumwankery of Sam Bayer’s Bullet In A Bible here, but the unnecessary backstage shots and strange colour tints that characterize this release detract from the overall experience and betray any illusion of actually being there. What’s even more frustrating is that the truncated cut and paste job of track selection ultimately butchers the set list of Green Day’s 2009/2010 world tour. While the Japan shows on which the release is based were, in actuality, three hour mega-marathon extravaganzas that The Boss himself would have been proud of, the scant eighty minute run time of both CD and DVD feel, at best, like a patchy document. There’s just no flow and, as one song awkwardly segways into the next without Billy Joe’s trademark on-stage banter, you can’t help but feel that you’d be better off listening to your Green Day studio albums in an echoey room. Expanded to accommodate a full length show, this set could have been Green Day’s Live and Dangerous. As it stands Awesome As Fuck is, unfortunately, anything but. Fiona Howard and Alec Plowman

GIL SCOTT-HERON & JAMIE XX WE’RE NEW HERE For most musicians, winning the Mercury Prize is a feat to aspire to. So what objectives do you set out to achieve when, in your early twenties, when you already partially hold this title? Someone not shy of foresight in dealing with these questions is one third of platinum selling, minimal indie band The XX. His name is Jamie. Towards the end of 2010, the blogosphere spiralled out of control when it became apparent that Jamie, one of London’s freshest faced hipsters, was embarking on the daunting challenge of remixing an entire album from one of the most influential artists of the latter 20th century. A man whose rap poetry was behind the quite simply astonishing The Revolution Will Not Be Televised. His name is Gil Scott-Heron. The remix album itself is a piece of art; a statement to scream from the rooftops over the ever so saturated sea of mirrored nothingness. From Gil’s first rant and Jamie’s shimmering

synths, this record builds motion, mood and effortlessly embellishes musical craft with an artistic consistency. It escorts the listener through an array of current underground electronica; shifting between the future grime and house tinged 140 BPM style of London and the spacious realm of romantic LA hip hop. Outstanding tracks like ‘Home’, ‘Running’, and ‘NY is Killing Me’ take on unpredictable formulas full of haunting melodies and agitated breakdowns; with conclusions that refuse to compromise neither the energy nor the beauty. Jamie’s reliance on the original is minimal. Scoping out focal phrases from Gil’s verse and the occasional key instrumentation, he uses his own style to capture emotion omitted from the production on ‘I’m New Here’. Jamie XX has taken one of the finest, most honest albums of 2010 and transformed it into a masterpiece in its own right. Only in London would you find an artist with enough guts as to replicate the urban scripture of an East-Coast drifter, and infuse it with a ranging dark UK sound which snatches at localized authenticity. Forget James Blake, Jamie XX has delivered a sincere message that new and original music need not be pretentious and self-indulgent: have a vision, deliver the melody and push things forward. Ant Firth-Clark


Music 25

Issue 255 31st March 2011

THE STROKES A

N

G

L

E

S

When a band comes out of a hiatus to record a new album after 5 years apart, it is generally assumed that they’ve gotten over any squabbles that caused the rift in the first place. With most members of The Strokes venturing into the world of solo releases for a few years, you would have thought that the various manifestations of their deluded, rock star sized egos would have been quelled. Yet the initial, Joe Chiccarelli-produced demos for the then untitled fourth Strokes album were all scrapped because of directional clashes. Julian was barely involved in the early recording process, mostly thanks to his solo touring, but perhaps also by latent feelings of discontent. Indeed, the vlogged in-studio footage of Angles’ creation shows not a band harmonious and eager to recollect their past majesty, but a group of musicians distinctly lacking their former camaraderie. The question arises as to why The Strokes felt it necessary to release another album in the first place. The problem is that, no matter how much you try to say otherwise, no matter how much you praise the ‘new direction’ they may have gone in, nor how many years may have passed, all Strokes releases will be compared to

CD REVIEWS Is This It. It’s a problem a few of the fin de siècle bands, but particularly The Strokes, face; that their first album, their amazing, generation defining debut, might actually be the best thing they will ever release. Yes, a few of the tracks on Angles deserve some credit. ‘You’re So Right’ develops a futuristic, solo-Casablancas-esque sound, ‘Macchu Picchu’ is gloriously summery and both ‘Under Cover of Darkness’ and ‘Taken For a Fool’ evoke the guitar driven rock that the boys are known for, but that is precisely the problem. The new Strokes album sounds like a record from a band that sound like The Strokes, not one from the band that started it all. Angles has some merits, but releasing another record at this stage seems, dare we say it, like a money making venture. The festival slots, the inevitable stadium tour, the CD and memorabilia sales will make the band a tidy sum over the next few years. For the fans though, The Strokes could have retired victorious in 2006 and saved themselves from a possible fade into obscurity; Venue can’t say they are particularly excited about recent claims that a fifth album is on its way... Ultimately, more a damp flat than a room on fire, the first impressions of Angles suggest that, as the band themselves once prophesised, this may be it.

Alex Throssell

THE KABEEDIES

ARCTIC MONKEYS

S A N T I A G O

BRICK

The Kabeedies have been a staple part of the Norwich music scene for some time now, boasting an album deal with Norwich’s most prestigious label, NR ONE Records. Back in 2008, they earned themselves a slot at Glastonbury and since then they’ve toured all over the UK and Europe to great acclaim. The band have seen mounting success with Microsoft choosing their track ‘Come On’ to feature in an international advertising campaign for Xbox in November. Just two weeks ago, they won a primetime play on every BBC 6 Music show for an entire week when the public voted new single ‘Santiago’ to the top of Steve Lamacq’s infamous Rebel’s Playlist. Lucky for Venue readers, ‘Santiago’ is currently available as a free download via The Kabeedies BandCamp page. ‘Santiago’, in typical Kabeedies style, is a jaunty indie-style pop track with enough energy to have you dancing around your bedroom every time it comes on the radio. And judging by their recent 6Music success, that’ll be pretty often. Keeping within the high-quality standard of indie that their 2009 debut album Rumpus was praised for, ‘Santiago’ builds on their established sound

Five years on from the release of their debut album, Arctic Monkeys seem to have finally reached a point in their career where there aren’t huge expectations on them to be the ‘band of a generation’. After the curveball that was Humbug, it is difficult to know exactly where the Sheffield quartet will go next. However, a clue comes in the form of the new song unexpectedly posted to the band’s website recently, with little or no fanfare (apparently anything Radiohead can do, Arctic Monkeys can do better). Surprisingly, in the aftermath of Humbug’s weirdness, ‘Brick By Brick’ is possibly the poppiest and least subtle thing the band has ever released. A soaring, ecstatic chorus as it’s focal point, the song lodges itself in your head after the first listen. Whilst ‘Crying Lightning’ crept up behind you and tapped you on the shoulder when you weren’t expecting it, this latest effort marches up to you and shouts “I AM A CATCHY ROCK SONG” in your face. That’s no bad thing; the overall vibe of fun seventies rock ‘n’ roll that enuses is totally endearing. Drummer Matt Helders and Alex Turner share vocals in a call and answer style over a stomping riff which abruptly changes

to create something innovative, exciting and original. It’s easy to imagine the single becoming a festival favourite this summer, as the band combine relentless frenetic vigour with an outright classy array of fun and catchy, and sometimes unwittingly beautiful, sonic delicacies. The band head out on a full UK tour next month in celebration of the single’s release, culminating in an appearance at Norwich’s much-hyped new festival, Playfest. So download the tune and grab yourself a ticket to one of the upcoming shows; rest assured that the only thing better than hearing the new single will be seeing them perform it live. Lauren Razavi

BY

BRICK

pace halfway through the song, with an electrifying solo adding colour to proceedings. Turner’s usual dextrous lyrics are discarded in favour of simplicity such as “I wanna rock and roll/brick by brick”. It’s un ucomplicated first offering, but if ‘Brick By Brick’ says anything about Arctic Monkeys’ direction, then their next album (the candidly titled Suck It And See) could be their most joyous yet. Jamie Lewis


Issue 255 31st March 2011

26 Music

RADIOHEAD: NO SURPRISES? A Think Piece by Alec Plowman, Alex Ross and Alex Throssell

W

hen Thom Yorke and co. announced, seemingly out of the blue, that their latest album The King Of Limbs would be released via the band’s website back in February, the online community was set ablaze with news reports, speculation and general salivation at the prospect. That in itself is hardly surprising. Radiohead are a massive band with a devoted worldwide following, whose 20 year career has seen them produce a veritable plethora of hit albums. What’s more, given their long standing commitment to the kind of anti-consumerist ideology championed by the ilk of Naomi Klein (of whom the band are self-confessed fans), it seems perfectly logical that Radiohead would release their latest record, as they did with its predecessor (In Rainbows); without the input of a record label and without the self-propagated mass media saturation that typically accompanies an impending major album. Radiohead’s promotion of The King Of Limbs prior to the album’s release was limited to two posts on their official website. The first, a banner displaying the words “Thank You For Waiting”, was posted on Febraury 14th, and redirected fans to an orders page for the new record. The second, a message from guitarist Ed O’ Brien posted two days later, simply read: “It’s Friday...It’s almost the weekend...It’s a full moon... You can download The King Of Limbs now if you so wish! Thank you good people for waiting...Have a great weekend wherever you are...!” One titbit on the band’s website, and within the hour, every major online news outlet has an article on the impending Radiohead release. A black and white video of Thom Yorke dancing to the record’s lead single, Lotus Flower, appears

on the band’s official YouTube channel on February 16th. It receives 3 million hits within the space of a day. Music magazines across the globe stop press to update their front pages. Yorke et al do not appear on David Letterman, Graham Norton or Zane Lowe. In fact, but for Johnny Greenwood giving a short interview on BBC 6 Music, the band maintains a near complete media blackout throughout this period. March 25th and Radiohead announce that The Universal Sigh, a newspaper accompanying The King Of Limbs record, will be distributed for free from newsstands in key locations across the globe on Monday 28th. This will be a different paper from the one that the group have included in the deluxe edition of The King Of Limbs, which has by now been dubbed “the world’s first newspaper album.” R a d i o h e a d producing their own anti-Pravda smacks of the kind of elusive promotion that appeals to their devoted and seemingly secret society of fans. It’s counter marketing; the kind of move that makes a certain faction of No Logo devotees go weak at the knees. It will also, no doubt, make messrs Yorke, Greenwood and O’ Brien a mint in real wage. 20 years in the game and Radiohead know how to play their market. So well, in fact, that it doesn’t even look like they’re trying. Without the visibility of the press cogs turning, the band has developed the kind of media hype machine that Simon Cowell would bludgeon Cheryl Cole to death with his own shoes for. The kind of hip meets slightly un-hip 20-30something males for whom the internet is an umbilical cord of information, irreverence and torrentfuelled back catalogue bingeing; well, they

live for this kind of shit. It’s the sense that they’re in on something, like a club for slightly maladjusted boys with record players who have finally found their purpose. In media studies terms, they call it complete-ism. The term relates to ownership and is a principle fostered in fan communities, whereby members must collect everything that their chosen artist-come-deity has ever produced. Radiohead might have read No Logo, but Thom also apparently has rather wellthumbed copies of the Media Studies Reader and How To Create A Cult Music Following in 20 Easy Steps on his nightstand. The band has managed to bypass the pitfalls of mass media propagation, injecting their products straight into the artery that is their hardcore elite. After all, why coerce Joe

Bloggs into spending £7.99 on a download of your latest effort when ‘Little Jimmy Superfan’ would happily shell out £36 on The King Of Limbs Deluxe ‘Newspaper Album’, £50 on the inevitable stadium tour ticket, £20 on

the hand-woven t-shirt made from recycled bottles and an ungodly amount on the Japanese-exclusive remix disc of the album that was made by all of Thom Yorke’s ‘kooky’ DJ friends. And without a record label, most of that £106+ goes straight back into the small but tight organisation that the band have built around themselves. It might be a brilliant example of post-millennial music distribution, but it’s also a ruthlessly efficient business model. That’s something the band will never have to admit to when probed on talk shows, because they’ve established a system whereby they don’t need to appear on them in the first place. Right now, you the reader think we are the kind of petty minded fans that smashed up all their records when Metallica ‘sold out’ by trying to sue Napster. Well, guess what, we fucking well are. But that’s beside the point. As it happens we still love Thom and the gang (hell, you didn’t think that we were excluding ourselves from that maladjusted boys comment, did you?), and like you,

the prospect of a King Of Limbs tour is filling our hearts with glee and our overdrafts with a deep sense of foreboding. It’s just that, as much as we want to embrace the deep sense of belonging that comes from indoctrination into the cult, we’ve got a sneaking suspicion that everything isn’t in its right place. Ironically, for an article about Radiohead, it’s the words of Noel Gallagher that resonate best. So, “please don’t put your life in the hands of a rock ‘n’ roll band, and throw it all away…


LISTINGS

Issue 255 31st March 2011 concrete.listings@uea.ac.uk

YOUR GUIDE TO WHAT’S GOING ON IN NORWICH March

Sunday 3rd

Thursday 31th * Film - The Kids Are Alright - LT1 - 7:30pm (£2.80) * Pendulum DJ Set + MC I.D. - LCR 9:30pm (£8-£10) * DNA - Theatre Royal (plays until 2nd April) 8pm (£7.50) * The FULL MOON UV Party - Mercy (free admission with flyer before 11:30pm)

* Bowling For Soup - An Acoustic Evening With Jaret & Erik - The Waterfront - 7pm (£13)

Monday 4th * Flawless: Chase The Dream - Theatre Royal - 7:30pm (£5.50-£20)

Tuesday 5th * Devils & Angels - LCR - 10:30pm (£3.50adv)

April

Wednesday 6th

Friday 1st * Film - Harry Potter and the Deathly

* Eliza Doolittle - LCR - SOLD OUT * AC Grayling: UEA Literary Festival - LT1 6:30pm (£6)

Hallows: Part 1 - LT1 - 7:30pm * Children Of Bodom + Amon Amarth -

Thursday 7th

LCR - 6:30pm (£19.50)

Saturday 2nd * UEA Symphony Orchestra & Choir - Norwich Cathedral - 7:30pm (£4-£12) * The Top 50 LCR - LCR - 10pm (£4.50) * Troy Boy - The Playhouse - 7:30pm (£12£15) * Hot City Sound And Vision presents: A Crash Course In The Music Industry - Norwich Arts Centre - 10am (£5-£10)

* End of Term Bash feat. S Club 3 + Duke LCR - 9pm (£10) * Film - Made In Dagenham - LT1 - 7:30pm (£2.80) * The Soldiers Tale - UEA Drama Studio 7:30pm (£5-£20)

Friday 8th * Film - The American - LT1 - 7:30pm (£2.80) * Aggro Santos + Magnet Man Live in Concert - LCR - 7pm (£7-£10)

Pop singer Eliza Doolittle is packing up and heading down to perform at the UEA LCR this April

What will you be doing this Easter? This year, Easter will fall on Sunday 24th April, and Venue have been pondering on what it should do to celebrate this most joyful of occasions. For the vast majority of its readers, the likelihood is that you will be gorging yourself on copious amounts of chocolate and slowly vegetating in the comfort of your own beds, as is the norm for

students on their holidays. However, we’ve found some rather tempting alternatives... For those of you returning to London or the surrounding areas, why not reincarnate the games of your youth and get yourself down to London Zoo in Regent’s Park from the 7th to the 22nd of April for the giant egg hunt! Collect your clues to find the hidden

eggs scattered around the zoo. If you prefer your Easter weekend to be a loud and somewhat more nocturnal one, put on your dancing shoes and head to the O2 Arena for the One Man Melt Easter Weekender on the 22nd, 23rd and 24th of April. With headliners such as Audio Bullys, A1 Bassline, Benji Boko, The Orb, Jazzie B, Norman Jay and The Soul 2 Soul Sound System, who says you can’t dance on the Sabbath? If instead of dancing yourself you prefer to sit down and watch celebrities pretend they can, the Dancing on Ice Tour will be performing at the Wembley Arena on the 22nd, 23rd and 24th of April. What a perfect opportunity to watch Gareth Gates get his sk-sk-sk-skates on. No matter where you are in the country you can enjoy the light-hearted fun of the newly released Easter themed movie HOP, from the directors who brought us Despicable Me. This movie tells the story of CGI bunny E.B (voiced by Russell Brand) who is set to take over his fathers job as the Easter Bunny, but who runs away to pursue a career as a drummer in Hollywood. Although a rather questionable story line, it is set to be a

success nationwide and should allow for easy entertainment amongst revision angst. As some of you will inevitably stay in Norfolk for the holidays, it seems only right to suggest that you pop along to the Easter Fun Fair at Chapelfield Gardens from the 22nd to the 25th of April. You can expect everything from fairground rides and games to candyfloss and clowns. If all else fails, gather together your nearest and dearest and make your own fun by hiding some chocolate eggs in the garden and getting them to find them. It’s a great excuse to get together and enjoy the sunshine. If that doesn’t tempt you, you could always recycle your boring Easter eggs by melting them all together, and buying an assortment of yummy things to dip into it, like marshmallows or strawberries. Voila, your very own chocolate fondue! Whatever you choose to do this Easter, Venue would like to wish you a restful and productive holiday. See you in May! Georgina Wade


COMPETITIONS CROSSWORD 1

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Issue 255 31st March 2011 concrete.competitions@uea.ac.uk

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7: Dubiously (13) 8: Overly suspicious (8) 9: Location (4) 10: Outstanding US tennis player, born 1952 (7) 12: It’s been a hard day’s _____ (5) 14: UEA’s Derby Day opponents (5) 16: Corrupt (7) 19: Band, ____ Party (4) 20: Require (8) 22: Awfulness (13)

1: Prima donna (4) 2:Acquire (6) 3: Abnormal growths (7) 4: Womanizers (5) 5: Cereal (6) 6: Ronnie Barker’s Porridge character (8) 11: Useless (8) 13: Accumulation (7) 15. Deed, bond or other written engagement (6) 17: Strict vegetarians (6) 18: ‘Space Oddity’ singer (5) 21: Chuck (4)

WIN To be in with a chance of winning tickets to see a DJ set from the biggest electronic band about, Pendulum, at the LCR on Thursday March 31st, just bring your completed crossword to the Concrete office by 5 pm Thursday March 31st.

Name: E-mail: Mobile:

Word Wheel The rules are simple, make as many words as you can from the grid: Each word must use the central letter Only use each letter once No plurals allowed Words must be minimum of 3 letters

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