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Daily l obo new mexico The Independent Student Voice of UNM since 1895 dailylobo.com Monday, September 19, 2022 | Volume 127 | Issue 6
“As much as I feel like it’s so hard for me to create relation ships with people that I meet online … I know my circle of queer people and that’s about it, but I have been able to meet a lot of queer people online, which is kind of cool because I don’t re ally have any other opportunity to do that other than online dat ing, and it also is refreshing,” Gallegos said.
Even with all of the difficul ties associated with online dating, one thing was agreed upon by Hautzinger and Gal legos: it’s fun. The same study from the Pew Research Center found that lesbian, gay and bi sexual people were more likely to consider dating apps to be a safe environment for meeting people compared to straight people, even for those who have received harassment on dating apps.
small talk online, it’s like, maybe they’ll give me a compliment or I’ll give them a compliment, but it doesn’t feel genuine because that’s how we talk anyways,” Gallegos said.
Gallegos and Hautzinger both agreed that it is nice to be able to encounter a space where they can openly meet other queer people, even if the connections made are not very strong. For Hautzinger, it is comforting to build friendships with people who share in their queer identity and better understand it.
“They are good for meeting people because you’re literally being connected with strangers, and most of the time it’s in the area that’s you’re in … so I have had really good conversations with some people, but I think it’s not very effective for creating long-term relationships or longterm friendships or long-term
anything really,” Gallegos said.
Nominators should submit a letter stating in sufficient detail reasons for the nomination. Please include biographical information, a record of accomplishment, and supporting letters. Because the Honorary Degree Committee must choose among illustrious nominees, please provide as complete a nomination as possible.Thenominations should be sent to the Office of the University Secretary, Scholes Hall, Room 103 or univsec@unm.edu no later than Friday, October 7 , 2022 If a nominee is proposed by a person, department, or college representing a discipline other than that of the nominee (e.g., Music nominates a poet), the Committee will consult with the appropriate faculty before making a recommendation. A listing of past honorary degree recipients is available on our website at http://graduation.unm.edu/honorarydeg.html OPEN April 1-Nov 1 FRI-MON • 10am-4pm Last ticket sold at Locatedtinkertown.com3:30pm505-281-5233ontheroadtoSandiaCrest Tinkertown MUSEUM Delivered to your inbox: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday! STAY INFORMED! Subscribe to our email newsletter. Stay in the loop on all the news and entertainment around UNM! SubscribeNOW! Or started.toDAILYLOBOtext22828toget DAILY L OBO new mexico
Annya Loya / Daily Lobo / @annyaloya A college student opens up a dating app in their room.
PAGE 2 / MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2022 NEW MEXICO DAILY LOBOdailylobo.com
Still, many members of the LGBTQ+ community on dating apps struggle to make meaning ful connections online. One of the primary issues is the sheer difficulty in moving past small talk, according to Amethyst Gal legos, a student at the University of New ThoughMexico.Gallegos has met some people over dating apps, they do not consider digital dat ing a substitute for in-person connections and overall find the experience of online dating to be shallow. They find the expe rience of dating apps to be less effective when the conversations are kept online.
“Especiallyscenes. with heterosexual dating, you are thrown into the ‘guy asks the girl out,’ right? And that very much is a pattern that’s really easy to fall into, especially if you grew up in a more con servative area ... But now that I’m figuring out my own gender and my sexuality, and I’m dat ing women because that’s what I’m interested in and I’m non binary, I’m like, ‘Oh wait.’ I have to put in the introductory effort, and I don’t know how to do that,” Hautzinger said.
Building queer relation ships with people socialized as women can be a challenge because of the social expecta tion that women should not make the first move when build ing romantic relationships, according to Blakely Hautzinger, another UNM student. When they first started online dating, they were still making roman tic connections with men, but now that they exclusively date women, they have noticed a striking difference in the two dating
Queer people navigate dating in the digital age
“In my experience with wom en, it’s always hard to go past the small talk because a lot of my friends who are women, the way that we communicate in real life is like, ‘you’re so beau tiful,’ you’re so gorgeous,’ ‘I love you,’ this, that and the other … So talking to a stranger and
Zara Roy is the copy chief at the Daily Lobo. She can be reached at copychief@dailylobo.com
By Zara @DailyLoboRoy
The Honorary Degree Committee, a subcommittee of the Faculty Senate Graduate & Professional Committee, is charged with the solicitation of nominations for honorary degree recipients. On behalf of the Committee, the Office of the University Secretary hereby requests nominations for honorary degree recipients. Strong candidates will be eminent individuals and scholars whose contributions are of general significance, and transcend geographical limitations. Nominations of individuals who have contributed significantly to the cultural or scientific development of the Southwest or to the spiritual or material welfare of its people are especially welcome. A successful nominee must have an exemplary record of academic or public accomplishment in keeping with the University’s standards of rigor, quality, and significance. Honorary degrees are awarded at spring commencement.
2023 Honorary Degree Nominations
Gallegos also expressed diffi culties in moving past feminine niceties and communication ex pectations onto romantic affairs.
With online dating more popular than ever, the queer population has been particularly piqued in interest by the allure of meeting digital strangers. In 2020, 55% of lesbian, gay and bisexual people surveyed re ported using dating apps at some point in time: about twice the rate of straight populations, ac cording to a study from the Pew Research Center.
This September, Student Health and Counseling at the Univer sity of New Mexico is doing their part in highlighting Sexual Health Awareness Month in an effort to encourage safe sex in the UNMOnecommunity.infourcollege students have a sexually transmited in fection, according to the Health News Hub. Since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, gonorrhea and syphilis cases have gone up by 10% and 7% respectively since 2019, according to the Center for Disease Control.
By Maddie @maddogpukitePukite
gonorrhea & chlamydia tests be ing offered every Tuesday by appointment and HIV testing of fered every other Wednesday as part of SHAC’s biweekly “Hump Day Wednesday” program, which also provides free condoms and birth control to UNM students.
“Any time there’s any skin con tact, when you’re mixing fluids from one person to another, there’s always going to be a risk of getting an STI. We really want to inform, no matter how you identify, that there are still risks that are involved when you are having sex with an other person,” Furguson said.
With students returning to campus for in-person classes, it is important to make sure they have a full understanding of the impor tance of sexual health, according to Benjamin Furguson, a health educator for SHAC.
“Sexual Health Awareness Month was always (and) has al ways been there, but we felt like it was really important as students come back to being on campus to help understand the importance of maintaining or having the resourc es to maintain their sexual health, so they are staying safe as they start their semester,” Furguson said.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2022 / PAGE 3@DailyLoboNEW MEXICO DAILY LOBO Caregivers lead activities, play sports, make crafts, have fun and are good role models for school-age children before and after school. Starting pay is $16.50/hr Associate Directors are in a leadership development position for those who are working toward the position of Site Director. FT or PT. Starting pay is $18.50/hr Site Director leads the day-to-day operations of the program. Starting pay is $22/hr Apply at www.childrens-choice.org/jobs 505-296-2880 Children's Choice Child Care is HIRING Can you sell space? The Daily Lobo is looking for part-time advertising sales representatives. The Daily Lobo Advertising Sales Team offers real world experience, flexible scheduling, paid training, and the potential to earn fantastic pay— all while working from campus. Please send your resume to advertising@dailylobo.com or call Daven at 277-5656 for more information.
SHAC offers condoms at 29 dif ferent locations across campus, with emergency contraception available for purchase for $25 by any student at the pharma cy, located on the lower level of the“Webuilding.tryto keep it in really centralized areas where a lot of students may congregate. That’s part of our ‘Barrier Necessities’ program. It’s a lot of fun to be able to interact with students in that way, as far as providing education al materials (and) providing safe barrier methods,” Furguson said. This month is an important
SHAC offers free STI test ing for all students, regardless of health insurance coverage, with
educational opportunities that they got in high school or whatever it might be,” Furguson said.
This type of access and educa tion is important for university students who may not have had that comprehensive sexual educa tion during high school, according to “That’sFurguson.what we pride ourselves on, is making sure that students are educated on those things. And that this is what can happen if you have unprotected sex. We’re there to help fill in the gaps as far as those
reminder of safe sexual health practices for any student re gardless of sexual orientation, according to Furguson.
Maddie Pukite is the managing editor at the Daily Lobo. They can be contacted at managingeditor@ dailylobo.com or on Twitter @ maddogpukite
A variety of condoms lie on a desk.
SHAC celebrates Sexual Health Awareness Month
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By Annya @annyaloyaLoya
I support women’s rights, but mostly, I support women’s wrongs. Lady Whisteldown is the original Gossip Girl and she will not be silenced, let alone by the Bridgerton siblings.
Two has surpassed the quality of its first season and I can’t wait to see what’s next for Season Three. Next, the Bridgerton family story will continue, following Colin Bridg erton and Penelope’s relationship as their friendship hopefully turns into something more.
Courtesy Photo Daily Lobo / @DailyLobo
This film, like most of its kind, is imperfect in many ways, however, this does not detract from its feelgood nature, its nostalgic charm, nor its absolutely fabulous costuming (we’re looking at you, Andie’s back less yellow dress).
That being said, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” still transports a willing audience into a serendipitous fairy tale that depicts the glamorous
OPINION4
Monday, September 19, 2022 Volume 127 Issue 6 The New Mexico Daily Lobo is an independent student newspaper published on Monday except school holidays during the fall and spring semesters. Subscription rate is $75 per academic year. E-mail accounting@dailylobo.com for more information on subscriptions. The New Mexico Daily Lobo is published by the Board of UNM Student Publications. The editorial opinions expressed in the New Mexico Daily Lobo are those of the respective writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of the students, faculty, staff and regents of the University of New Mexico. Inquiries concerning editorial content should be made to the Alleditor-in-chief.contentappearing in the New Mexico Daily Lobo and the Web site dailylobo.com may not be reproduced without the consent of the editor-in-chief. A single copy of the New Mexico Daily Lobo is free from newsstands. Unauthorized removal of multiple copies is considered theft and may be prosecuted. Letter submission policy: The opinions expressed are those of the authors alone. Letters and guest columns must be concisely written, signed by the author and include address and telephone. No names will be withheld. UNM Land Acknowledgement statement Founded in 1889, the University of New Mexico sits on the traditional homelands of the Pueblo of Sandia. The original peoples of New Mexico – Pueblo, Navajo, and Apache – since time immemorial, have deep connections to the land and have made significant contributions to the broader community statewide. We honor the land itself and those who remain stewards of this land throughout the generations and also acknowledge our committed relationship to Indigenous peoples. We gratefully recognize our history. This statement was developed by Pam Agoyo, director of American Indian Student Services and special assistant to the president on American Indian Affairs, in consultation with the Native American Faculty Council. Photo Editor Mackenzie Schwartz Culture Editor Spenser Willden Editorial Staff Telephone: (505) 277-7527 Fax: (505) news@dailylobo.com277-7530www.dailylobo.com Editor-in-Chief John Scott Managing Editor Madeline Pukite News Editor Annya Loya Orduno Sports Editor Thomas Bulger Copy Editor Zara Roy Multimedia Editor Katrina Estrada
Annya Loya is the news editor at the Daily Lobo. She can be con tacted at news@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @annyaloya
LOBO
On March 22, Netflix released the second season of hit show “Bridgerton,” bringing back the steamy series for a new wave of romance even stronger, better and spicier than the first. Based on Ju lia Quinn’s bestselling historical romances set in an alternate ver sion of Regency era England, the second season of “Bridgerton” not only brought a stirring romance to the screen but also set the stage for even more still to come.
come without a challenge in sister Kate (Simone Ashley), who Antho ny soon finds himself falling for.
Despite her actions as Lady Whistledown, I cannot hate or even dislike Penelope. While she has had an active presence as Lady
Audiences might relate the Sharma sisters to the sisters of “10 Things I Hate About You:” a sweet, naive youngest sibling who wants only the most romantic of matches, and their angry, protective older sibling who will emotionally de stroy anyone who tries to get close to them. It’s a romance trope for theDespiteages.
As far as plot goes, the second season follows Anthony (Jona than Bailey) as he finally decides to step up and find a suitable wife after spending the first season de nying his marital duties as head of the family. Enter the Sharma sisters, Kate and Edwina. Edwina (Charithra Chandran) is sweet, kind, smart and fits exactly what Anthony describes as a decent match — but Edwina does not
As any true romantic comedy lover knows, the key components to a classic early 2000s rom-com are simple and hardly ever disap point. The setting must, of course, be New York City, one of the romantic leads must (obviously) be a journal ist and there absolutely has to be a scene where one romantic lead chases the other down (preferably via cab or motorcycle) to tell them they love them before they make a life-altering decision.
own in the rom-com hall of fame, the casting of Hudson and McCo naughey is the cherry on top. The pair, both well-seasoned in the genre, bring chemistry, relatability and their own personal styles to the film. Hudson plays the perfect sharp and ambitious girl’s girl, while Mc Conaughey adds a swoon-worthy touch of ruggedness and charisma to every scene. After watching the film in its entirety, it’s difficult to imagine a betterThroughoutduo. the film we see the push and pull of Benjamin and Andie’s motivations, from Andie’s purposefully insufferable behavior to Benjamin’s seemingly endless amount of patience. The comedic back-and-forth between the two characters comes to a head when they decide to visit Benjamin’s fam ily in Long Island.
The first season delivered a sheet-gripping story, and after liv ing through Daphne Bridgerton and the Duke’s fake relationship, I couldn’t wait for what showrunner Chris Van Dusen had in store for el dest sibling Anthony Bridgerton in Season Two.
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Lady Whistledown continues ex posing the elites and provoking the Queen after disappearing for ten months. Now she’s back with more gossip than ever but also more vul nerable than ever before. Battling between her two different person alities, Penelope has to make the difficult choice of protecting her identity or those she loves.
REVIEW: ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’ presents classic rom-com fare with skill
This review contains spoilers
Sierra Martinez is a freelance re porter at the Daily Lobo. She can be contacted at culture@dailylobo.com
lifestyle of two young career people in the big city who meet, fall in love and presumably live happily ever after. While this form of storytelling may seem mindless and overdone to some, romantic comedy lovers know that just about every other genre made for adults is severely lacking in the warmth, silliness, and impos sibly perfect love that exists within romanticWhethercomedies.you’re nineteen years late to the game like myself or a diehard fan since its release in 2003 this is your sign to curl up on the couch, forget about your real-life worries and watch “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.”
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On the other side of the story, El oise Bridgerton (Claudia Jessie) is still trying to unmask the enigmatic gossip peddler Lady Whistledown, not knowing she’s actually her best friend, Penelope Featherington
By Sierra @DailyLoboMartinez
(Nicola Coughlan).
Whistledown, it definitely felt like her differing personalities started to merge this season: in Season One, you could have never guessed it was the same person, but I be lieve Lady Whistledown has given Penelope the confidence to act out that fierce personality on her original self.
Luckily, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, has all of this and more, with the 2003 film
Adjoa Andoh and Luke Thompson play Lady Agatha Danbury and Benedict Bridgerton in Season 2 of “Bridgerton.” Photo couresty of IMDb.
This review contains spoilers for “Bridgerton” Season Two
using the enemies-to-lovers trope as we watch Hudson and McCo naughey enter a whirlwind 10-day relationship, both with something to gain.Asthe resident “How-to Girl” of the fictional women’s magazine “Composure,” Hudson’s character Andie Anderson must write a snappy article entitled “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” where she uses what she considers to be “classic dating mistakes that women make” to drive away a man in ten McConaughey’sdays.Benjamin Barry, on the other hand, makes a bet with his coworkers that if he can make a woman fall in love with him in ten days, he can take the big account at work. Knowing the subject of her article, his coworkers choose Andie, setting the would-be lovers at odds. Although the story itself holds its
obsessing on having the “diamond of the season” Edwina as wife, Anthony cannot keep away from the aggravating older Sharma sister. In every scene they have to gether, the tension is so thick the audience could cut it with a knife, in part aided by Bailey and Ash ley’s astounding chemistry with oneWhileanother.this season does not con tain as many sexually intimate scenes as the first, Van Dusen did not need them to have audiences fanning our faces every time Kate and Anthony were together on screen. If enemies-to-lovers is your favorite trope, Kate and Anthony’s story is the one for you. The ten sion, the denial, the passion: it’s all just too good.
REVIEW: “Bridgerton” Season Two triumphs in enemies-to-lovers perfection
In the new setting, surrounded by Benjamin’s family, the two drop their acts and finally get to know and fall in love with one another. Though, in the true romantic comedy fashion, this newfound love is disrupted by well-meaning friends and a total lack of communication.Fortunately,bythe end, the au dience gets its happily ever after, of course preceded by a taxi-motorcy cle chase through traffic.
Overall, “Bridgerton” Season
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Opinion Editor / opinion@dailylobo.com The Independent Student Voice of UNM since 1895
People learn how to argue and develop our own argument styles based on the arguments that occurred around us in early life. This means that everybody is used to arguing in a way that
“The goal is not for you to win the argument. The goal is to come to a supportive agreement, and that really changes how you approach these types of things,” Dugan said. “One of the really toxic things that can hap pen is people will argue to score points, and so they’ll say the most hurtful things, or they’ll repeat their stance without lis tening to the other person’s stance, or they’ll draw up every fight that’s ever happened in the relationship. That kind of argu ing is really toxic because it’s not working toward resolving the currentDugandisagreement.”alsopointed to the idea that one person shouldn’t be constantly compromising to keep the peace — instead, there should be room on both ends for healthyAnothercompromise.vitalthing to con
“You can just talk about the issue at hand without fighting dirty, if you will. In healthy re lationships, conflict is part of a normal day, and it doesn’t even have to be a bad day,” McCarthy said.
sider is how you feel during an argument. While arguments are often tense and uncomfortable for most people, they should not force you to question your self or your entire relationship each time they occur, according to “It’sMcCarthy.greatif you can fight with out making the other person wrong or insulting them, like your entire relationship doesn’t get called into question every fight, or your self-worth doesn’t get drawn into it, or you don’t feel insulted,” McCarthy said.
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contact, I have more of an open posture,” Ricci said.
By Sierra @DailyLoboMartinez
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Ricci’s years as a mediator have taught her that validating feelings goes a long way, even if the two partners are not in total agreement. Ricci said that rather than using the statement “I un derstand,” it is instead important to listen and validate the griev ances and feelings of the partner, even asking them to elaborate on thoseÁinefeelings.McCarthy, interim di rector at the UNM Women’s Resource Center, and Michelle Dugan, a campus advocate at the WRC, both agreed that ar guments should not be about winning or losing.
“When we go in, we’re mad at each other, we’re arguing. And usually, that’s the top layer. Then there’s the sublayer — what’s actually going on are the emo tions, so we can start to recognize that. ‘I’m feeling anxious. I don’t like this, but something needs to change. We need to figure out what that is.’ And this is how we have to sit down to have a conver sation,” Ricci said.
Tips for maintaining healthycommunication in arguments
Throughout the course of any relationship, you may find your self in a situation where you and your partner get into an argu ment. While some might see a lack of arguing as a sign of a healthy and successful relation ship, this is not necessarily the case. Rather, arguments should be seen as opportunities for change, according to Heidi Ricci, an instructor at the University of New Mexico and professional mediator of thirteen years.
While arguments are natural and normal, McCarthy empha sized the importance of giving and taking space to process emo tions. She also noted that certain issues should not be part of fre quent arguments. These include core values, things and people that are important to you, and boundaryAccordingviolations.to McCarthy, finding the way to healthily com municate during disagreements is key to any relationship.
feels familiar, but our own argu ment styles may not be in line with those of our partners, ac cording to Ricci. Mutual respect of each other’s needs during an argument is crucial, as is explic itly communicating those needs. Typically, we learn to argue from a place that is defensive and therefore reactive rather than responsive. To Ricci, this is one of the common pitfalls many people experience while having an“Howargument.todeal with (arguments) is active listening. So, active lis tening means I’m listening and responding. I’m giving good eye
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Two people hold hands.
Sierra Martinez is a freelance reporter at the Daily Lobo. She can be contacted at culture@dai lylobo.com
My girlfriend wants to enter an open relationship, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. What should I do?
As for moving on, while this may sound cliché, time can often be what’s needed to heal from past relationships. Our feelings don’t end from one day to the next, and asking that of ourselves can lead to unhealthy expectations. We often need time to process everything that happened and accept that ending things, for better or worse, led to a big change in our lives. This person used to be one of the most important people in your life — a breakup doesn’t erase that. If you need time to adjust — six months or even more — that’s completely normal.
You cannot change your girl friend’s mind about wanting an open relationship. As harsh as it may sound, your situation would most likely have to end if you de cided you did not want the same things out of your relationship, and that’s alright — sometimes, an end can be for the best.
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Names carry a lot of weight and are a quintessential part of the identity you project to the world, so it makes sense to be upset if someone calls you by a name you find uncomfortable, especially af ter you’ve asked them to stop.
My partner and I broke up about six months ago, and I’m
Sometimes, though, changing how you refer to someone can take a moment, especially when refer ring to them a certain way was second nature — regardless, it is something your partner should put in the effort to adjust in order to make sure you feel safe and sup ported in your relationship.
I do think it is incredibly impor tant to balance friendships with your love life: you should definitely consider the surrounding context. For example, if he has a friend who is going through some kind of dif ficult situation, it is more than reasonable that he should lend a hand and offer emotional support to them. Even so, I think it is right ful for you to feel this way if he is consistently canceling dates, espe cially if this behavior has persisted for a Testwhile.the waters by asking him out on smaller dates: meet up
My girlfriend started calling me a pet name a few months into our relationship, and at first it was cute, but its started to get grating. I’ve tried asking her to stop, but she keeps doing it. How can I get her to cut it out?
I would intentionally bring up the topic to them again and explain
If you decide you want a rela tionship like that, keeping healthy communication moving forward would be a good first step. Open relationships require open dia logue. What are the ground rules you two would like to set? Make sure you communicate regularly with each other about how one an other feels.
between classes or go on a spur of the moment coffee date. This will eliminate the possibility of emergencies popping up between making the plan and the actual date. Of course, it is also vital to have a conversation about it if you feel hurt by what seems like constant avoidance — express to him that quality time is impor tant and you want him to make an effort to reschedule instead of cancel if he truly cannot make it.
By The @DailyLoboEditors
Another thing to do is find a change of pace. A new hobby, going out more (or even less): ba sically any change of routine can help you deal with these feelings. When you were that person, you used to live your life a certain way
Every open relationship is dif ferent. This is due to previously set boundaries, individual comfort levels, and other wants and needs couples have communicated with each other going into things. I would suggest getting a clear un
I wish you all the luck in this journey of understanding what you want. Once you know, be proud that you were able to come to a conclusion.
that maybe now doesn’t make sense to do. You’re not the same person you were then, so finding a new version of yourself or even an old one you might have for gotten during your relationship might be the key to processing these feelings.
My boyfriend continuously cancels date nights because his friends always need him, for some reason or another; do you think he’s dodging me, or is it just coincidence?
While it is great that your girl friend knows what she wants out of your situation, it is completely normal to not know what you want when faced with a decision like this. Knowing what you want out of any relationship is a wonderful thing, but it can also be challeng ing to understand those wants near the beginning.
still hung up on them. What are some tips you have for moving on?
see Advice page 7
Ask the Editors: Relationship Advice
Time for some tough love: from misunderstandingsto messy breakups, everybody needs a lended ear and helping hand sometimes when dealing with re lationships. Editors from the Daily Lobo have come together to an swer your most burning questions.
Before anything else, I think it’s important to remember that you’re entitled to your feelings, and only you know how much that relation ship meant to you. It doesn’t matter if it ended six months ago — if you still have feelings for them, that’s completely valid.
derstanding of the boundaries you already have with your girlfriend and trying to envision applying them to an open relationship. Are there new boundaries that you would like to set if you two were to enter an open relationship? Or can you not envision it at all?
Monday
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Hopefully, this advice has giv en you the tools you need to fan the flame of love in your life so that you may avoid sobbing alone
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really need to see them put in an effort to not call you that name anymore since it is ulti mately your choice regarding how you are addressed by those closest to you. If they
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to them that, while you value the relationship, you make how they see it as term that you should take it as a red flag what their be havior says about the future of Whilerelationship.itmayseem like a sil ly pet name to some, if it is a big deal to you, it is completely valid to be upset by it. You de serve to be in a relationship where you feel comfortable with how you are being addressed.
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“To His Coy Mistress” is a poem where the speaker uses time as a coercion technique to convince his mistress to lay with him imme diately, an aspect of the poem that could be seen as problematic in a
By Elizabeth @esecor2003Secor
sense of alienation that can come along with it,” Wichelns wrote to the Daily Lobo. “That’s one reason why so many of the love letters or poems we now see as great were produced by people writing from comparatively marginal positions romantically, as that was defined in their time and place.”
PAGE 10 / MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2022 NEW MEXICO DAILY LOBOdailylobo.com spotlight Quirky Used Books & More o ers a wide selection of nonfiction and fiction in all genres and subject areas. Our retail store is located in a converted eyeglass factory just east of Albuquerque’s Nob Hill neighborhood; additional inventory is o ered online. In addition to books, we carry artwork by local artists and a small selection of LPs, CDs, DVDs, collectibles, and gift items. As part of our commitment to the Albuquerque community, we partner with local organizations to help them raise funds through book donation drives. 145 Jackson St NE Friday & Sat : 10am - 4pm Sunday : 11am - 4pm FacebookFindpresentedwhendiscountvalidUNMIDisuson&Instagram812Retro@retrogurlpics12601 Central Ave NE (505) 761-9818 4501 Silver Ave SE (505) 254-1778 Thrift Store Shop & Donate TuesdayDonation9am-5pmSaturdayPickup(800)728-7825 Albuquerque’s Newest Used Bookstore 120 Jefferson St. NE • 505.492.2948 OPEN Mon – Sat 11-6 Come check us out! Albuquerque’s Newest Used Bookstore 120 Jefferson St. NE • 505.492.2948 OPEN Mon – Sat 11-6 Come check us out! MidMod • Junk • Design Shopsavevintagetheworld! , Fri & Sat: 10am - 4pm Sun: 11am - 4pm 812 Retroretrogurlpics Mackenzie Schwartz / Daily Lobo / @Mackenzid5 A person writes a love letter to their partner.
society that strives for consent in all aspects of a relationship.
This isn’t the only way Wichelns finds writings on love to have changed over the years. Those who are addressed by authors in their love writings have also changed over time.
“Can graffiti on a bus seat be a letter? Can a tweet be a love poem? Can rap lyrics be a sonnet — or can they just be truly great poetry while bearing absolutely no resemblance to Shakespeare?” Wichelns wrote.
“Therenowadays.areimportant things that we lose as well as gain as cultures change. But sometimes what we categorize as ‘love poetry’ from earlier periods really isn’t sexy to day,” Wichelns wrote. “I think we read Andrew Marvell’s 1681 ‘To His Coy Mistress’ differently in an era that sees mutually enthusiastic consent as a basic necessity for ro mance, for example.”
“Do writers who don’t look, act, live, love, think or produce the way we do evoke desire, longing, vul nerability, fear, joy — all that com plex brew involved in a love letter or poem — in ways that punch us in the gut and give us chills? The an swer to all of those questions is yes.”
No matter who a love writing is dedicated to or the form it takes, Wichelns thinks there is one aspect that winds through all writings on
Elizabeth Secor is a beat reporter for the Daily Lobo. She can be con tacted at culture@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @esecor2003
“You actually can’t and shouldn’t recycle most of the time, but you … need to find a shape that the person recognizes. It should feel simulta neously new and familiar, made just for them.”
“I think in earlier periods, we sometimes made more space for nonnormative and/or non romantic forms of love. People participating in various oral and written poetic traditions have ex pressed forms of nonromantic attachment that don’t fit into our narrow contemporary sense of which relationships deserve love poems: the love we feel for close friends, our children, our families, our ancestors, our ideas of the di vine, our nonhuman companions and so on,” Wichelns wrote.
Within this train of thought, Wichelns also pointed out how societal shifts affect how the love writings of old are viewed
The ways we understand ideas like race, gender and sexuality in our relationships with ourselves and each other shape our views on what we define as love. Even our understanding of medium and genre can shape how we view writ ings on love, according to Wichelns.
Love letters show change in philosophy through the decades
Over the decades, love letters and poetry have changed and shaped as society evolved, and our ideas on romance and sexuality have shifted as well. However, at their core, they remain about what they have always been about: love.
In today’s world, traditional styles of showing love, such as letters or poems, have become less relevant. However, Kathryn Wichelns, an associate professor of English at the University of New Mexico, still believes that poetry and love letters are important for their ability to showcase previ ously taboo forms of love as well as their unique ability to express certain“Humansemotions.have always needed to express romantic or sexual de sires that aren’t considered valid in their societies. Queer love let ters and poetry throughout history are just one example of that. Po etic writing gives us unique ways of expressing both passion and the
the“Isubject.think the most important thing to hold onto for any intimate communication is that it should be an expression of a shared truth. The form that takes depends on the relationship,” Wichelns wrote.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2022 / PAGE 11@DailyLoboNEW MEXICO DAILY LOBO Announcements CLEARHEADEDNESS. COMPETI TIVENESS. HTTP://UNM.NUCRYPTOCURRENCIES. www.WritingandEditingABQ.com Services PAPER DUE? FORMER UNM instructor, Ph.D., English, published, can help. 505-569-2626 (Text Only); 505254-9615 (Voice ww.WritingandEditingABQ.comwww.WritingandEditingABQ.comOnly). Rooms For Rent HEY LOBOS! You get FREE ads in this section! Email classifieds@dailylobo. com from your UNM email address. Jobs Off Campus CANONCITO BAND OF NAVAJOS HEALTH CENTER INC. NOW HIRING! CBNHC offers a competitive salary, benefits package and a great team environment. Various positions available. Check out www.CBNHC.org/ jobs for application and job description. The hours of operation are Monday – Friday 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM. Twelve paid holidays off. 100% Employer Paid Benefits. If you have any questions please email Humanresources@cbnhc. org CBNHC is a Navajo Preference/ Native American Preference Employer. www.dailylobo.com AnnouncementsCLASSIFIEDINDEX HealthFun,AnnouncementsAuditionsFood,MusicGarageSales&WellnessLegalNoticesLookingforYouLostandFoundServicesTravelWanttoBuyYourSpace Housing HousingHousesApartmentsCondosDuplexesforRentHousesforSaleWanted Office Space Rooms for SubletsRent For Sale Audio & Video Bikes & VehiclesComputerCyclesStuffPetsForSaleFurnitureTextbooksforSale Employment Child Care Jobs Jobs off Campus Jobs on WorkJobsInternshipsCampusWantedVolunteersStudyJobs DAILY LOBO CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIED RATES 7 days of online advertising, and 2 days of print, for $1 per word per week. Graphics can be added to print and online publications for $24.99 per week. Special effects are charged additionally per line: bold, italics, centering, blank lines, larger font, etc. Color is available for $1 per line per day. Logos can be included with text: Black & white is $5 per day. Color is $10 per day. STUDENT ADVERTISING Come to Marron Hall and show your UNM ID or send your ad from your UNM email and recieve FREE classifieds in Your Space Rooms for Rent, and For Sale category. Limitations apply. Student groups recieve a reduced rate of 20¢ per word per issue in the Announcements category. CLASSIFIED DEADLINE 1 p.m.. business day before publication. ON THE WEB Rates include both print and online editions of the Daily Lobo. PAYMENT INFORMATION Pre-payment by cash, check, money order, Visa, MasterCard, American Express or Discover is required. PLACING YOUR AD Phone: 505-277-5656 Fax: 505-277-7530 Email: classifieds@dailylobo.com In person: Room 107 in Marron Hall. Web: www.dailylobo.com Mail: UNM Student Publications MSC03 2230 1 University of New Mexico Albuquerque, NM 87131classifieds@dailylobo.com www.dailylobo.com 505-277-5656 Can you sell space? The Daily Lobo is looking for part-time advertising sales representatives. The Daily Lobo Advertising Sales Team offers real world experience, flexible scheduling, paid training, and the potential to earn fantastic pay— all while working from campus. Please send your resume to advertising@dailylobo.com or call Daven at 277-5656 for more information. Help TODAYAPPLYWanted!(505)573-1143OR(505)730-9424 616 Lomas Blvd NW Mon-Fri 8am-3pm ALLAVAILABLEPOSITIONS The ways to use your #1 UNM news source! Scan QR Code toFREEdownloadAPP /DailyLobo@DailyLobo @DailyLobo crossword sudoku Level 1 2 3 4 September 12th issue puzzle solved 2/22/18 September 12th issue puzzle solved From “Sweet and Sour”
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