Nettleham News - 2002-01 - Spring 2002 - Issue 77

Front cover photographs by Nigel Kingston

Spring 2002

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MARK TOWNEND Pay us a visit and browse round our spacious garden shop and plant centre.

You’ll find we have almost everything you need for your garden, plus indoor plants for your home and lots of ideas in our gift dept.

New larger aquatic area.

Plenty of room to park with easy access for disabled persons.

Helpful, friendly staff and a warm, comfortable atmosphere make shopping a pleasure.

Ask for details about our

Gardeners’ Club Discount Card.

Tea room open for Easter

PLUMBING AND HEATING ENGINEER For all types of plumbing and heating installations and servicing Registered CORGI Gas Installer Member of Institute of Plumbing

Professional Video and Multimedia Creation for Business, Industry and Education ● Ex-YTV ● Output to tape, CD, DVD, Web ● Established 1989 ● Producer and Distributor of Bygone Films

Telephone

754901 Email: andy@blowbyblow.co.uk Website: www.blowbyblow.co.uk

Dunholme Road, Scothern Lincoln LN2 2UD

2 The Rowans Nettleham Lincoln

Telephone 01673 862297

Lincoln 750469

Contact: Andrew Blow 9 The Green, Nettleham LN2 2NR

NETTLEHAM LANDSCAPING

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Looking forward to seeing you

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From the Editor

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COPY DEADLINES Nettleham News magazine is produced quarterly and the deadlines for receiving contributions for each of the editions are: 15th February: Spring edition 15th May: Summer edition 15th August: Autumn edition 15th November: Winter (Christmas) edition All contributions to the Editor

Nigel Kingston 1 High Street Nettleham Lincoln LN2 2PL Telephone/fax: 01522 753000 Email: nigel.kingston@bluecom.net

➜

It’s March and “spring is setting in with its accustomed severity” as the saying goes!

Once again, there are lots of varied and interesting items for you in this issue many thanks to all those who contributed!

Do please make sure that your answers are clear - it would be a shame to deny yourself the chance of winning by disqualification for an illegible entry! Please note that the closing date for this competition is Tuesday 30 April 2002.

The Ducks

Time Sensitive Contributions

The village suddenly became the centre for a media frenzy a few weeks ago with radio, television and the local press all vying with each other to report on the duck situation.

May I ask in the future that any items containing time-sensitive information (eg dates, times, venues of events, etc), are clearly marked, so that I may be aware of this and can ensure that the information, whenever possible, can be published in good time to gain maximum exposure.

Hello!

From the Parish Council notes on pages 30/31 it would appear that nothing can be legally done now until September anyway, so a new generation will have added their numbers to the duck population in that period, with even more mouths (or should that be beaks) to feed!

Perhaps this year, the duck eggs could be collected and genetically modified to create a new sub-species of carnivorous rat-eating mallard - thus solving the rodent problem at a stroke. However, some of the smaller dogs being taken for a walkies along Beckside might have a hard time of it!

Chain of Events It’s funny how one thing can often lead to another and the obituary for Michael Smith, on page 11 of the autumn 2001 edition, inspired the ‘The Sudbrooke Hermit’ poem

by D Fenwick on page 50 of the last winter edition. Now we also have a photograph of this mysterious gentleman (see Readers’ Letters page 7). Do any more readers recall meeting Mr Parker, I wonder?

Competition Results The results of both the ‘Duck Caption’ and also the ‘Chocolate in Christmas’ competitions appear on page 27 - many congratulations to the winners.

A new competition, which will really test your in-depth knowledge of our village, appears on page 22 of this edition, with a prize of a bottle of your favourite spirit, kindly donated by the Black Horse.

Small Ads A number of people have suggested that a Small Ads column in Nettleham News might be a useful addition to the magazine.

As ever, I am always open to fresh ideas for our village magazine, so if anyone should wish to place a small, private advertisement in these pages, for the princely sum of £2.00 you can have up to a total of 50 words. (I would have to reserve the right to refuse any ads of a dubious nature!).

Perhaps you have something to sell or swap, or perhaps you offer or need a special niche service. The first one appears on page 17 of this edition - do let’s have some more - this could be a useful feature in the magazine, but if nobody participates then it will simply fade away.

Parking Following the discussions last year about traffic and parking in the village and the subsequent implication that it was really up to us to be sensible about it, for a time there seemed to be a general improvement in the situation.

But, just lately, the congestion and potential danger caused by thoughtless and selfish parking of vehicles for long periods of time on narrow roads, has again deteriorated to a point where the village centre is, for many, once again an undesirable and dangerous place to be.

The Post Office Talking of congestion and the impatience which this can cause, hasn’t the Post Office situation been better the last few weeks?

The queues have either been very short or non-existent when I have been in - perhaps I’ve just been lucky!

Our appreciation should go to the counter staff for all their hard work in providing such a wide variety of different services and all at a single counter!

Best Kept Village Awards Nettleham will be entering for this prestigious award again and, in the coming months, judges will be visiting our village once more to award their marks.

Readers may remember, that on page 45 of the autumn 2001 edition of Nettleham News, I suggested that litter probably made the biggest contribution to our failure in last year’s awards - but, rather surprisingly, this was not a major factor and we really scored rather well in this respect, gaining 27 points out of a possible 30! The odd point or two like this dropped in each category resulted in our losing out - so let’s resolve not to let it happen again this year.

The full marking results and the judges’ comments are reproduced on page 49 of this edition.

Caravans in Nettleham Perhaps the hottest topic of conversation in the village at the moment is the planning application currently under consideration by the authorities for a touring caravan park in the field behind the Brown Cow. A diagram of the planning application appears in the centre pages 30/31 for the information of readers. I would be most interested to hear the views of residents on this already controversial issue. Done well, it could perhaps be a valuable addition to our village, but done badly it could equally be an unmitigated disaster - what do you think?

The views and opinions expressed in Nettleham News magazine are not necessarily those of the Editor 1

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Directory of Advertisers Advertisers in Nettleham News in alphabetical subject order to assist you in finding the contact you need from the trades and services in the area.

This magazine is funded solely by the revenue from these advertisements and readers are urged to support these businesses whenever possible IFC: inside front cover; IBC: inside back cover; BC: back cover Eyecare Services David Burghardt John Neild/Annette Searson

18 28

Financial Services Thompson & Richardson John B Carr

32 36

Fires & Fireplaces Instagas

26

Fireworks Nova Fireworks

20

Artist/Picture Framing Services Mal Reynolds 10 John B Horner 29

First Aid Equipment First Aid 4 Sport

16

Book Shops Autumn Leaves

Flooring Services Wecando Bernie’s Carpet Services

28 29

Accommodation Haymans Ghyll Los Cristianos (Tenerife) Self Catering Accommodation The Old Vicarage The Old Barn Accountancy Services Peter Allen Anthony & Co J Nicholson & Co

Building Services Classic Exteriors Leesing Construction Ltd Crow Developments Ltd J D Faint M J Spencer & Sons

20 24 29 32 39 16 29 38

44 12 24 36 39 54

Florists Flowers by Design

38 44 8 29

28

Function Venues The Old School Nettleham Village Hall

Chemist Krystals Chemist

58

Funeral Directors P H Dickinson & Sons

Children’s Entertainment Nettleham Inflatables

10

Cleaning Services Allan Cotterill Safeclean Computer Services Cornelius Computers Bob the Fixer Day Nurseries Heath Farm Day Nursery Domestic Appliance Services Larry Jackson Neil Bark Driving Tuition Highway School of Motoring Eating Out JayDees The Farmers Arms The Tea Cosy Welton Manor Golf Centre

38 52 16 38 6 10 39 20 IFC 8 38 BC

Health & Beauty Mandy Spring The Beauty Room Aspects of Beauty Essential Looks Home Security Secure Homes

8

Food Delivery Services Wiltshire Farm Foods Woodlands Organic Farm

Catering Services Cooks Kitchen

Headstone Maintenance Nightingale Memorial Care

Furniture & Soft Furnishings Shirley Hanrahan 6 Jean Kelsey 12 Thorpe Soft Furnishings 16 Robert Truelove & Sons 28

Golden Jubilee Memorabilia Premier Trophies (Lincoln) Ltd

Educational Services Maths Tuition

12

Graphic Design Nigel Kingston

Electrical Services Neil Caldwell G & A Beckett Ltd

20 28

Hair Stylists Freestyle Hair Design Margaret’s

Joinery Services Nettleham Joinery Colin Pyrah

39 44

Kitchen Services Kitchen Kraft

28

Legal Services Andrew & Co Oliver & Co Page Nelson Burton & Co

6 10 16 48

Motor Vehicle Sales Lumbard Trade Cars

29 IFC 16 54

Nurseries & Garden Centres Scothern Nurseries IFC Rudies Roots 4 Lincoln Green Clematis Nursery 6 Pam Lawson 16 Riseholme Plant Centre BC

32 39

Nursing Homes St Luke’s Nursing Home

Garden Services Nettleham Landscaping IFC Perennial Garden Services 10 Peter Lawson 20 Soil Solution Garden Services 26 Crown Gates & Services 44 Garment Services Knitwear Dressmaking & Alterations

4 20

Newsagents News & Booze Beckside Newsagents

Garages/Service stations Nettleham Road Service Station 4 North Street Garage 20 Garden Equipment Greenstripe Garden Machinery Paul Dales

10 24 46 58

Industrial Ventilation Hindle Ventilation Supplies

Multimedia Services Blow by Blow Productions

44

8

16 38

IFC 44 2

12 44

Plastering Nettleham Plastering

38

Playgroups Nettleham Pre-school Playgroup 12 Beckside Playgroup 39 Plumbing & Heating Services Mark Townend Ltd Roy Pyrah T S Bristow M & D White Paul Strong Trevor Lawrence Gas Wise

IFC 10 16 20 24 33 44

Printing Services F W Cupit (Printers) Ltd

BC

Property Services Mundys Hodgson Elkington Public Houses The Brown Cow Inn The Black Horse

6 26 21 29 & 32

Roofing Services PL Roofing Brian Scott

10 44

Secretarial Services Louise

20

Skip Hire Service Parker’s Skip Hire

39

Speech & Language Therapy Communication Counts

16

Sports Clubs Nettleham Tennis Club

32

Supermarkets ASDA

IBC

33

Painting & Decorating T Lawson GC Painting & Decorating Holmes & Fields S J Skepper John McCullock Graham Hill John Borman Max Brown

4 10 16 20 28 29 39 44

Pet Services & Supplies Taylors of Welton Scothern Kennels Welton Veterinary Clinic K9 Dog Grooming Dunholme Boarding Cattery

4 24 26 32 38

4 6

Photographic Services Michael Self R A Davey

Taxi Services Green Light Taxis

BC

Travel Agents Imp Travel

24

Tree & Hedge Services Mark Cropper Tip Top Tree Service

39 44

TV/Video Services Horizon Aerials John Lee Arthur Hopkinson BTV

4 16 20 44

Window Cleaning GEM ABC

20 28

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Nettleham Noticeboard William Farr School

SIXTH FORM REUNION BALL A new event which we hope will become an annual reunion for all past sixth formers.

Please tell anyone who is eligible.

Wednesday 27th March in the School Hall

8.00pm - 12.00 midnight (Bar closes 11.30pm)

Light refreshments available Disco

Tickets £5.00 available from the school Please contact Mrs Boulter (01673 866900) for more information or send a cheque and a stamped addressed envelope to:

Mrs Dunsford William Farr C of E School Lincoln Road, Welton, Lincoln LN2 3JB

REFUSE DISPOSAL SERVICE RESIDENTS SHOULD NOTE THAT THERE IS AN IMPORTANT CHANGE IN THE LOCATION Due to the future development of the former West Lindsey District Council Depot site in Brookfield Avenue, this service as from January 2002, will operate from the former oil-drilling site on Greetwell Lane.

Currently enclosed by large gates, these will be opened for access at the same times and frequency as before: on the second Saturday of each month from 8.00am - 11.00am and on the fourth Saturday of each month from 10.30am - 11.30am

Please mark the envelope REUNION TICKETS

ALL CLASSES OF DOMESTIC REFUSE ACCEPTED

NETTLEHAM FRIENDS OF LINK ROMANIA

GOLDEN JUBILEE CARNIVAL

COFFEE MORNING at

CHURCH VIEW MONDAY 18 MARCH 2002 10.30 - 11.45

©

2OO2

Cake stall, raffle, tombola, etc

SATURDAY 13 JULY 2002 Nettleham Village Green

EVERYONE WELCOME!

(See page 60)

NSPCC

LINCOLN LIONS

GARDEN PARTY

YOUNG LEADERS IN SERVICE AWARDS

WEDNESDAY 19 JUNE 1 CHURCH STREET, NETTLEHAM Watch out for more information about this popular event!

Over the years the Lincoln Lions Club have been encouraging enthusiastic young people to serve their community in a variety of ways.

Please help us to identify deserving young people for consideration for the Young Leaders in Service Awards.

NETTLEHAM TWINNING ASSOCIATION Come along and play a game or two of real Boules We usually play at 11.00am on Sunday mornings, but the pitch is available at any time to members.

NEW MEMBERS ARE ALWAYS MOST WELCOME Registration fee is £5.00 pa including membership of the Sports Association Contact Kathleen Williams 750028

BOTTLE BANK AWARENESS DAYS by the Brownies, Guides, Cubs and Scouts

BROWNIES & GUIDES SATURDAY 20 APRIL 10.00am - 2.00pm CUBS & SCOUTS SATURDAY 27 APRIL 10.00am - 2.00pm Please bring your bottles to the Co-op car park and let us dispose of them for you and tell you how the money raised helps us.

We do need bottles, but NOT the boxes and bags which are often left behind as well!

Please do take them home with you to save us having to clear them up.

Thank you.

VILLAGE HALL HISTORY A history of Nettleham Village Hall is being compiled Do you have any information which should perhaps be included?

Were you a committee member in the early years?

Have you any old photographs of the Hall or the events that took place there?

SEE PAGE 17

If you can help, please contact Ray Sellars 24 Deepdale Lane, Nettleham

FOR MORE INFORMATION

Telephone 750286

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TAYLORS

Domestic and Industrial Intruder Alarms

OF WELTON

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NETTLEHAM ROAD SERVICE STATION

Locks - Security Full fitting service

Open 24 hours LRP and Unleaded Petrol, Diesel, Car Wash and Vacuum Accessories, Cigarettes, Fancy Goods, Confectionery, Groceries and Fresh Flowers National Lottery

TV - Video - Domestic Appliance Repairs

Lincoln 533054

24hr Emergency No: 0831 777458

T. A. & S. A. LANE 123 Portland Street, Lincoln

SHOP 01673 862996 HOME 01673 860215 Small charge for local deliveries

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Mobiles: 07770 664949 / 07775 933225 SCOTHERN ROAD, NETTLEHAM, LINCOLN LN2 2TU

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Nettleham Diary Music & Meditation: every Thursday 2.30pm - 3.00pm in All Saints Church

March 2002 1

April 2002

Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

7.00

Bingo The Old School

7.00

Gardeners’ Association The Old School

7.30

6

Nettleham Probus Club 4 Seasons, Dunholme

10.00

6

Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

2 4

7 8 9

3 3

2.00

Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

May 2002 1 2.00 1

4

Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15

2

Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15

5

Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

7.00

4

Bingo The Old School

7.00

Bingo The Old School

7.00

Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

2.00

6

2.15

8

Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

Gardeners’ Association The Old School 7.30

7.00

8

Bingo The Old School

Beckside Women’s Inst The Old School

7.00

12 Nettleham Womens Inst Village Hall

2.00 7.30

13 Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

2.00

14 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom

2.15

15 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

7.00

18 Bingo The Old School

7.00

18 Women’s Fellowship All Saints Church

2.15

20 Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

2.00

20 Nettleham Probus Club 4 Seasons, Dunholme 21 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom

12.00 2.15

1 2.00

Nettleham Probus Club Coffee for wives/friends 4 Seasons, Dunholme 10.00

Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom

11 Beckside Women’s Inst The Old School

Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

June 2002

9

8 9

2.00

11 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15 12 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School 15 Women’s Fellowship All Saints Church

Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15

10 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

2.00

Nettleham Womens Inst Village Hall 7.30

10 Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

Nettleham Probus Club Coffee for wives/friends 4 Seasons, Dunholme 10.00

7.00 2.15

6

Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15

7

Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

7.00

Bingo The Old School

7.00

8

7.00 2.00

12 Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

2.00

2.00

14 Nettleham Womens Inst Village Hall 7.30

13 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15

15 Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

14 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

7.00

15 Nettleham Probus Club 4 Seasons, Dunholme 12.00

17 Bingo The Old School

7.00

19 NSPCC Garden Party 1 Church Street

2.00

2.00

16 NSPCC Coffee Morning The Black Horse 10.00 20 Women’s Fellowship All Saints Church

2.15

20 Bingo The Old School

7.00

22 Forget-me-not Club Outing

19 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

7.00

22 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

20 Bingo The Old School

7.00

22 Wine & Beermaking Circle 17 Mill Hill 7.30

23 Men’s Fellowship Old School

7.30

22 Bingo The Old School

7.00

23 Nettleham Ladies Club Village Hall

23 Bingo The Old School

7.00

24 Forget-me-not Club Outing

26 Nettleham Ladies Club Village Hall

7.30

25 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15

27 Gardeners’ Association The Old School 7.30

26 Men’s Fellowship Old School

7.30

26 Wine & Beermaking Circle 17 Mill Hill 7.30

28 Nettleham Ladies Club Village Hall

7.30

27 Forget-me-not Club: All Saints: Lenten Service 2.15

26 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

7.00

28 Men’s Fellowship Old School

7.30

28 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom

2.15

27 Bingo The Old School

7.00

29 Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

2.00

29 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

7.00

27 Ladies Club Spring Fayre Village Hall 2.30

30 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15

30 Bingo The Old School

7.00

29 Gardeners’ Association The Old School 7.30

31 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

23 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15 24 Nettleham Bridge Club The Old School

7.00

24 Wine & Beermaking Circle 17 Mill Hill 7.30 25 Bingo The Old School

5

Nettleham Probus Club Coffee for wives/friends 4 Seasons, Dunholme 10.00

13 Beckside Women’s Inst The Old School

16 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15

7.30

5

11 Nettleham Womens Inst Village Hall 7.30

21 NSPCC Coffee Morning The Black Horse 10.00 7.00

2.00

11 Bingo The Old School

7.00

18 Women’s Pleasant Hour Methodist Schoolroom 2.15

Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

10 Beckside Women’s Inst The Old School

17 Forget-me-not Club Village Hall Lounge

18 NSPCC Coffee Morning The Black Horse 10.00

7.00

7.00

15 Bingo The Old School

17 Nettleham Probus Club 4 Seasons, Dunholme 12.00

5

Bingo The Old School

7.00

7.00

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Readers’ Letters 27 Mill Hill Nettleham On reading the Poetry Pages in the winter edition of Nettleham News, I was reminded of the gentleman who lived in the hut in Sudbrooke Park.

As a child I knew him well - he often used the lane which led towards Langworth - it was part of our Station Field (my father owned Sudbrooke Garage).

He would carry shopping and bags of coal, and although sometimes heavily laden, he would always stand and talk. He was a kind and intelligent man. As he talked to us children, he would encourage us to work hard at school and learn - he was always interested in the things you were learning he was a very gentle man.

I found this old photograph of him and thought you might like to see it. It is the only one I have of Mr Parker - a quite remarkable character.

Doris Colman (formerly Doris Charlesworth)

A SPECIAL THANK YOU

More about the Ducks

We would personally like to thank the customers at Nestas Hairdressers, for their concern and kindness over the Christmas period, when my husband suffered a heart attack. He is now getting on fine. We would both like to thank you, it was very much appreciated.

When I was a little girl, we never had trouble with ducks because they had plenty to do. There was lots of weed and small fish and something like small shrimps - but look at the Beck today, I am sorry to say it is dead!

Glynis & Woody

You will never stop ducks because where there is water, ducks will find it.

Feedback

What else is there for them to do but wait for people to come and feed them. Let the Beck get lots of weed in it and stop people from feeding them so much.

Soon after receiving the last edition of Nettleham News, there was in fact a piece on Radio 2 regarding the ‘rat problem’ in the UK, and it would appear that the increase in the rat population is indeed a national problem.

There was also some discussion about the benefits or otherwise of Wheelie Bins.

We personally feel that it is not the ducks that are the problem, but more likely the behaviour of us humans by feeding the ducks at the Beckside area.

Could the problem be resolved by putting up appropriate signs at the Beckside?

Even if we had NO ducks in the village, we would still have rats! Don’t put the ducks down!

Chris & Marysia Paling

From Lincoln 23 St Andrew Street Lincoln

I have pleasure in enclosing cheque for my annual subscription for Nettleham News.

It is a long time since we left to live in Lincoln - we lived for many years in the cottage at the end of the Beckside, almost opposite to your cottage.

Many thanks for sharing this photograph of Mr Parker, Doris - perhaps other readers may also remember this local character from their childhood. Does anyone know his first name, where he came from or anything else about him?

Editor

Our next-door neighbours for many years were Arthur & Nell Kinder. We had about twenty happy years in the village, where our four sons were all born.

I have been back in Nettleham for 18 months after leaving to get married at the age of 18. My father was the village cobbler and had his shop on the Beckside.

I can remember someone had two big ganders - they swam on the Beck and went for you!

I hope the ducks will not be killed, but found new homes, or before we are done there will be no wildlife left. As for rats we have had to live with them for years.

June Howard (nee Wolleron)

Calling Football Fanatics who are at Sixes and Sevens!

Doug McLeish and Nick Jones (with Guy Hardcastle as consultant Goalie!) have recently started up a Nettleham 6’s and 7’s football team.

The team has already played a couple of ‘friendlies’ against well established teams and have proved themselves to be very enthusiastic.

There is the opportunity to join team training at Riseholme from 4.00pm to 5.00pm, initially on a Wednesday, but the day may change subject to the team’s other social commitments!

V E Green

As the club has just been established, we are in need of funds (and even a sponsor) and any ideas or donations will, of course, be gratefully received.

It’s always nice to hear from people who have lived in the village in the past and a number of them still like to keep in touch through the pages of the magazine.

Editor

If you would like more information on how to become involved in any way call Dougie (752803) or Nick (879699) and look out for more news on our progress in the next issue of Nettleham News.

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THE FARMERS ARMS “Delightful, award-winning country pub and restaurant for lovers of good food and wine” ✤ Delectable real food cooked with passion, using fine local produce ✤ Delicious, imaginative dishes combined with traditional favourites ✤ Traditional Sunday lunches ✤ Non-smoking restaurant ✤ Relaxing, warm and convivial atmosphere in lovely rustic surroundings ✤ Great wine selection and well-kept award-winning real ales ✤ Lunchtime menus, snacks and baguettes ✤ Inspired and varied vegetarian menus ✤ Open Tuesday - Sunday, lunchtimes and evenings Welton Hill, Lincoln LN2 3RD ✤ A warm, friendly welcome guaranteed Telephone 01673 885671 Runner-up Lincolnshire Life “Taste of Excellence” Award 2000/2001

Flowers

by Design FLOWERS FOR ALL YOUR SPECIAL OCCASIONS

The Old School Owned by Nettleham Parish Council Suitable for Meetings, Parties, Receptions, Exhibitions, etc Reasonable Hire Charges

Teleflower service available Most credit cards accepted

The Green, Nettleham

Telephone/fax: 01522 595566

NIGHTINGALE MEMORIAL CARE SERVICES On-site headstone cleaning and general grave maintenance including delivery and arrangement of remembrance and seasonal tributes A personal service carried out quietly and efficiently References available FREE QUOTATIONS ON REQUEST

Anne Pyrah 9 Berkeley Drive, Lincoln

Telephone: 01522 889257 Mobile: 0777 9900352

Telephone/fax: 01522 750011 Email: oldschool@nettlehampc.info 8

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A Letter to the Village On 27 April 2001 at 10.30am we received a telephone call to tell us that Richard had been found at the bottom of a l0ft wall and was in the intensive care unit at Val D’Hebron Hospital, Barcelona.

At 11.45pm we were in Barcelona, met by Richard’s friends (they were brilliant) and rushed to the hospital to see our son in a coma, intubated, pumped up and down by a machine, and with a six inch “zip” in his head, from which surgeons had removed 2 haematomas and some brain tissue. We were also told that his spine was broken! We were not happy and simply remaining upright and coherent took an effort and support.

We stayed three days and left Richard on 30th April - (his birthday - more pain) to come home, settle some affairs and grab more luggage. We returned to Barcelona on 4th May for a long encampment, visiting twice a day (so not much time to see Gaudi’s Cathedral).

A week later, another entry into the brain was necessary and so another long anxious wait in the Spanish sunshine.

Emerging from the coma we knew Richard recognised us. His eyes and mouth, smiles and grimaces told us he understood. He could not speak because of his tracheostomy one of many tubes/pipes/lines, etc, that he had to endure.

Numerous very serious chest/lung problems (ie pneumonia) held back any real progress.

Eventually he was strong enough for the third brain intervention, which was to return a part of his skull bone (removed to help reduce pressure) and to insert a shunt (valve) to drain any excess cerebro-spinal fluid in the future.

So ten weeks after his accident - thanks to superb surgeons and care at Barcelona (Val D’Hebron), they decided he could be flown home to Leeds-Bradford Airport and on to the Princess Royal Spinal Unit at Sheffield. (so far nothing has been done to his spine).

Unfortunately approaching the airport Richard had a seizure (fit) and so was rushed to Leeds General ICU. He was there for two more very stressful weeks, finally arriving at Sheffield on 24th July.

He’s now been there for 28 weeks (luckily it’s only a 108 mile round trip!) and is making very good, slow and steady progress. He speaks well, reads and writes and can access and reply to his own emails (occupational therapy). Sadly, he will spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, but two out of three miracles is pretty good - yes?

However the main reason for this letter is not simply to give you a medical bulletin - it is a thank you letter - one which we would like to share with the whole village.

Close family and very close friends have helped support us during our passage through the “slough of despond” but the support from this village has been magnificent.

The combined churches prayer groups have been and still are unrelenting in their intercessions on our behalf.

All the local shops ask “How’s your lad?”

“How’s Richard?”

Good friends - colleagues and so many people I recognise, but don’t know well, stop me and ask after Richard’s progress.

Our Twinning Association has been brilliant. To all of you we say a simple heartfelt thank you. I mean it when I say that your simple concerned enquiries about Richard and Pat and myself have helped keep us going.

It is so easy to slip down and let distress and sorrow keep you down and wallow in pity and bitterness. The daily ‘fix’ from this wonderful village assures us we are not alone and has brought us - and Richard - to this point.

Still a long way to go - but with your continued support we will have Richard back home. Thank you Nettleham.

Pat and John Bazley

LINK ROMANIA SHOEBOX APPEAL Christmas 2001 To all Area Co-ordinators Together we did it! 34,500 shoeboxes are now in Romania thanks to the help, support and commitment given by you.

Each year the task of collecting, sorting and packing the boxes ready for transportation looms ahead as an almost insurmountable job, but each year “the team” completes the job successfully.

The team includes the volunteer drivers, some of whom spend 2 or 3 days away from home, the sorters, packers, unloaders and loaders and of course yourselves. As in previous years Link has relied considerably on the efforts of the Area Co-ordinators and each year you seem to undertake more tasks. The time we managed to save this year, by removing coins from boxes before they are collected, has been invaluable to us. Your efforts to get them boxed for easier

handling has helped no end. All this, plus the ordered and precise nature of all the paperwork together with your patience and understanding in arranging pick ups, has made the whole experience so much smoother.

Having handled 34,500 boxes in a three week period we are under no illusion as to the space they take up and the fact that so many of you had boxes in your homes for the same period of time and longer is no mean feat. I expect there were times when you wondered why!

Those of you who have seen the video will know the delight the recipients of your gifts get from receiving the boxes. The smiles in Romania far outweigh the backaches, long nights and effort given here in the UK. Arpi, and his team, are overseeing the distribution of the boxes in Romania and 9

will be photographing the families receiving them. Copies of these photographs will form part of the thank you to be sent to all groups and individuals that completed delivery notes. To allow enough time for design, printing and posting, these will be available at the end of January.

There may be groups that did not register or fully complete notes, and without this information we are unable to respond directly. Should you know of any such groups please let me have their details and I will add them to the database.

Without your support, enthusiasm and encouragement of others there would be no appeal. Once again a very big thank you from all of us at Link but more especially from those families in Romania that had a Christmas gift to share during the festive season.

Joyce E Lewis

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ROY PYRAH PLUMBER

Mobile 07971 871925

PLUMBING, HEATING, INSTALLATIONS AND REPAIRS All types of central heating, including warm air central heating Luxury bathrooms, showers, tiling Installation of water softeners, dishwashers, washing machines, leadwork, guttering, etc.

FREE ADVICE AND QUOTATIONS CORGI REGISTERED GAS INSTALLER Greenacre, Apley Road, Newball, Nr. Langworth, Lincoln LINCOLN 754313

MANDY SPRING

For your legal requirements

SURGICAL PODIATRIST/CHIROPODIST

OLIVER & CO

M.S.S.CH. M.B.CH.A.

Solicitors

11 HAWTHORN ROAD LINCOLN

153 Burton Road Lincoln LN1 3LW

Roofing Contractor 5 Dunholme Road Welton Lincoln LN2 3RS

Telephone 01673 862968

TELEPHONE 545841 Home Visits Nursing/Residential Homes

For a reliable and friendly local service:

Steve Curtis Telephone: 01673 863481 Mobile: 07850 455929 14 The Hardings Welton Lincoln LN2 3FE

HOME MAINTENANCE SERVICE Fence painting, erecting & repairs Patios, Gravel, Some landscaping, etc FREE ESTIMATES AND SPECIAL RATES FOR OAP’S

For a better service telephone

Graham on 01522 877090 Mobile 0771 8250047

Mal Reynolds

for all your picture framing requirements

Telephone ABOVE HILL - EASY ACCESS AND PARKING

01673 860941 evenings and weekends

Larry Jackson Domestic appliance repairs/service Formerly Hotpoint/Creda engineer with 29 years service

● Fast friendly service ● No call-out charge ● Repairs to most leading makes of

All your gardening needs:

✿ Special Rates for OAPs ✿ Free quotations

GC PAINTING & DECORATING

01522 528889

PERENNIAL GARDEN SERVICES GENERAL MAINTENANCE WATER FEATURES PATIOS HEDGE CUTTING LANDSCAPING

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Washing Machines, Tumble Driers, Dishwashers, Cookers and Refrigeration

Telephone: Bardney (01526) 398101 Mobile: 07957 861306

NETTLEHAM INFLATABLES For the ultimate children’s party, bar-b-ques, galas, fetes or family fun days at home

INFLATABLE SLIDES AND ASSAULT COURSES

FOR HIRE TELEPHONE

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DAVE OR RACHAEL 01522 595793 MOBILE 0780 9006965 10

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An Important New Service for Nettleham Residents but it still needs People...

URGENTLY NEEDED...

FIRST RESPONDERS On 4th March 2002, the Nettleham LIVES First Responder scheme becomes operational. We are now in possession of our automatic external defibrillator and 18 months of fund raising has finally come to fruition.

The purchase of this valuable piece of equipment is down to the kind generosity of residents and local businesses in Nettleham, who have given towards this worthwhile cause. Thank you to everyone for your kind support.

With the scheme now up and running we still urgently need more volunteers to come forward to help to make it a success. Below is a brief outline on what the First Responder scheme is all about and how it can help the residents of Nettleham.

Why do we need First Responders?

Nettleham is about 4 miles from Lincoln and an ambulance with sirens and flashing lights can reach any address in 8 to 12 minutes depending on road conditions and availability. The problem is if someone suffers a severe heart attack, they could die before it arrives.

LINCOLNSHIRE INTEGRATED VOLUNTARY EMERGENCY SERVICE

What is a First Responder?

A First Responder is a community-based volunteer who is trained to respond to any life-threatening medical emergency (chest pains, breathing difficulties and unconscious persons) in Nettleham and give early basic life support and defibrillation, if required, prior to the ambulance paramedics’ arrival.

How does the system work?

When a 999 call is received at ambulance headquarters, not only is an ambulance dispatched to the casualty’s location, but if the request is deemed to be a life threatening emergency, they also contact the on-call First Responder in Nettleham, who is instructed to attend. While the ambulance is on its way, the First Responder will be able to give vital early basic life support and greatly improve the casualty’s chances of survival.

According to Lincolnshire ambulance headquarters they attended a total of 38 life threatening emergency calls in the village of Nettleham last year.

Can you help us?

If you have some spare time and would like to help the residents of Nettleham in this way, why not give us a ring for further information.

RAF Scampton, 5 February 2002, Hazel Holman (Co-ordinator LIVES Nettleham) receives the cheque for £750.00 from Wing Commander Bill Ramsey, donated to LIVES Nettleham by the Red Arrows Trust.

This has enabled the Group to reach the target required to purchase the defibrillator and consequently Nettleham LIVES will be‘live’ from 4 March 2002.

You will receive full training at the LIVES Head Office in Tentercroft Street, Lincoln and then be part of this valuable scheme. If you feel it’s not for you why not join us as a helper or a fundraiser? At the present time it costs about £1,500 per year to keep a scheme like ours up and running, so please spare us some of your time.

Think about becoming a Nettleham First Responder today...

Back row, left to right: Brian Wallis, Gary Evans (Para Medic Training Officer), Steve Sievwright.

Middle row, left to right: Mandy Blow, Jeanette Southall, Dominique Holownia, Mavis Kirton, Ken Bush (Treasurer LIVES Lincolnshire).

Front row, left to right: Daniel Race, Brenda Durham (Development Manager LIVES Lincolnshire), Wing Commander Bill Ramsey (OC Red Arrows), Hazel Holman (Co-ordinator LIVES Nettleham), Kay Homer.

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Contact: LIVES Head Office: 01522 575620 or Hazel Holman: 01522 754981 Steve Scoffins 8 Wold View, Nettleham

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“HOME”, 22 MAIN STREET, SCOTHERN, LINCOLN LN2 2UW

JEAN KELSEY

11+ Exam

Maths Tuition

its s e R esits R

Key Stage 123

Basic Numeracy

GCSE

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LOOSE COVERS - CURTAINS - BLINDS PROFESSIONALLY MADE TO YOUR REQUIREMENTS

Lynn Williams (Qualified Teacher) Telephone 753279

CLASSIC EXTERIORS Specialists in UPVC Windows – Doors – Conservatories and maintenance free: + Barge boards + Fascias + Guttering + Cladding For a free no obligation quote talk direct to the local fitter with 10 years experience for low prices and peace of mind

Carl Silson

01522 750304 12

Wide range of CROWSON Fabric co-ordinates, Wallpaper & Borders.

Custom made Furniture can also be supplied

Telephone & Fax: 01673 862844 Nettleham Pre-School Playgroup The Village Hall, Nettleham

Learning through play for pre-school children 21/2 years to school age.

Caring and friendly staff.

Large safe environment.

Monday to Friday 9.00am - 12.00 noon Come and see us at play any morning or telephone 01522 750467 (mornings) Waiting List Secretary Teresa Marran 752326

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At Your Service in 2002 POLICE DIVISIONAL HQ Gainsborough 01427 810910 In Emergency dial 999 Police Office, Scothern Rd PC Mark Lassmans Open to the Public Saturday 10.00am - 12 noon Tuesday 10.00am - 12 noon Answerphone for messages

750125

AMBULANCE SERVICE CONTROL South Park, Lincoln 545281 In Emergency dial 999 ANGLIAN WATER (24 hrs) 01345 145145 Waterside House, Waterside North Customer Accounts queries 01345 919155 Calls chargeable at local rate FIRE BRIGADE Divisional HQ Lincoln In Emergency EMGAS (24 hours) Gas escape - call any time

530472 dial 999 0800 111999

NETTLEHAM MEDICAL PRACTICE 14 Lodge Lane 751717 Daytime emergency After 6.30pm emergency

753808 512300

Doctors Surgery: Office hours Monday - Friday 8.30am - 1.00pm 2.00pm - 5.30pm Saturday 9.00am - 12 noon (Cherry Willingham: Emergency only) Dispensary 754649 Dispensary closed 12.30pm - 2.00pm daily Outside office hours - ring 751717 for message giving duty doctor’s telephone number Baby Clinic Thursday 2.00pm -4pm

751054

Podiatry Appointments by arrangement via Newland Health Centre 523009 To change appointments: Tel (Mon or Thurs 9am - 12 noon) 752884 Family Planning Clinic 7.00 - 9.00pm Thursday only

LINCOLNSHIRE COUNTY COUNCIL County Offices, Lincoln 552222 County Councillor: Mrs S Turner, 15 Parkside 751688 LIBRARY SERVICE 1 East Street 751391 Open: Monday, Wednesday, Friday 2.00pm - 7.00pm Tuesday 9.30am - 1.00pm Thursday 2.00pm - 5.30pm Saturday 9.30am - 12.30pm Library books may be renewed either by post or by telephone Photocopier: 10p per copy Internet available Talking books for Blind ‘Partially Sighted’ Language Courses available LINELANDS OLD PEOPLE’S HOME Unit Manager: Mrs Sibbons 750889 All ideas and helpers for fund-raising welcome. All offers of entertainment welcome.

Day Care Centre: Monday - Friday 9.30am - 4.00pm Rest Care Service available to relieve carers.

SCHOOLS The Infant School Mrs S Benson, All Saints Lane

751717

Nursing Manager

595033

District Nurse 9.00am - 10.00am Tuesday and Thursday Outside office hours 595783 Answerphone at other hours

Lincoln District Councillors: Ray Sellars, 24 Deepdale Lane A Frith, 22 Cliff Avenue PARISH COUNCIL Chairman: J W Downs The Old Vicarage, East Street

750286 750647

750819

Clerk: D Dubut 3 North Court, North Street

595296

Nettleham Parish Council Office

750011

Email: nettleham.pc@virgin.net BANKS Midland (Mobile)

08457 404404

The Green Monday: 11.45am - 12.30pm Thursday: 3.00pm - 3.30pm POST OFFICE The Green

751551

LINCOLNSHIRE HEALTH Cross O’Cliff Hill, Lincoln

513355

750964

COMMUNITY HEALTH COUNCIL 348 High Street, Lincoln 545215

The Junior School Mr P Staves, Mill Hill

750376

LINCOLN COUNTY HOSPITAL & ST. GEORGE’S HOSPITAL 512512

Cherry Willingham (contact) Mrs Ashcroft, Secretary Hearing Impaired Unit Mr Platt

824250

LINCOLN SAMARITANS Lincoln

William Farr Mrs S Sweeting (Sec)

824250

01673 866900

Christs Hospital

881144

De Aston

01673 843415

St Francis Special

526498

Ermine Infants Thoresway Drive Pre-school ass. class

522948 522948

Yarborough Leisure Centre

524228

751717

Office Manager Mr A Bohlman

WEST LINDSEY DISTRICT COUNCIL The Guildhall, Gainsborough 01427 615411 Advice Office 529605 18 Corporation Street, Lincoln

MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT E Leigh Esq, MP 01673 844501 Fax: 01427 612450 c/o Gainsborough Conservative Assn 23 Queen Street, Market Rasen (Sec Martin Vickers)

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CHURCH VIEW (Sheltered Accomm) Warden: Mrs D Weaving 752066

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Nettleham Directory 2002 ADULT EDUCATION CLASSES Mrs S Ingleson 750376 ADULT EDUCATION CLASSES Movement to Music Leader: Mrs A Wilson 01673 857398 Village Hall: Tues 1.45pm, Thurs 3.15pm Keep Fit Classes Leader: Mrs R Biggs, 852917 Mon & Tues Junior School 7.30 - 9pm Thurs.Village Hall 1.30 - 3pm Contact Mrs Ingleson 750376 AGE CONCERN - NETTLEHAM Chairman: Mrs J Rand Smith 752165 Secretary: Mrs E Grantham 857957 AGE CONCERN COFFEE MORNING FOR OVER 60s Leader: Mrs Joyce Chappell 750723 Old School: Tuesday 9.30am - 11.00am AGE CONCERN FORGET ME NOT CLUB Chairman: Mrs J Ingham 33 Larch Avenue 752331 Secretary: E Briggs 752842 Village Hall Lounge: Wednesday 2.00pm AGE CONCERN: MABEL BRIGGS MEMORIAL LUNCHEON CLUB FOR OVER 70s Contact: Mrs A Smith 751286 Old School: Thursday 12.30pm BRIDGE CLUB Old School: Friday 7.00pm K Omar P G Cope

527157 752566

PAROCHIAL CHURCH COUNCIL Secretary: Mr I Young 750314 14 Highfields CHURCH WOMEN’S FELLOWSHIP Leader: Mrs M Herrick 750963 Third Monday in the month, 2.15pm ALL SAINTS CHURCH SUNDAY SCHOOL Mrs D Hillyer, 751344 11 Shaw Way, Nettleham BELLRINGERS Tower Captain: Mrs M Parker 56 Sudbrooke Lane

753412

CHURCH CHOIR Director & Organist: P Bennett

522971

METHODIST CHURCH Rev P Pillinger 15 The Chestnuts

595479

Women’s Pleasant Hour President: Mrs Hesketh 18 The Green

751776

BECKSIDE PLAYGROUP Contact: Emma Foster 750080 21/2 years pre-school 9.00am - 3.30pm, Monday - Friday Old School

Secretary: Mrs J Smith 14 All Saints Lane Every Thursday 2.30pm Chapel Schoolroom All Ladies Welcome

DISABILITY LINCS (CRAFT CLASS) Welton Village Hall Mon 9.00am - 3.00pm This class also covers Nettleham New members welcome

DANCE EXERCISE FOR ADULTS Contact: Trudy Connor 750964 Nettleham Infants School Wednesday 9.00am - 10.00am

PARISH CHURCH The Rev G F Sleight 2 Vicarage Lane Churchwardens: Sue Oxley Richard Thornton

754348

754752

FOOTPATHS COMMITTEE (Advisory Committee of Parish Council) Chairman Bill Brown 595111

752855 821161

GOOD NEWS TRUST Nettleham Team Free Lending Library of Christian Books Co-ordinator: Mrs M Robshaw 751122 14

LADIES CLUB Chairman: Lillian Cleverly 754465 Secretary: Miriam Kilby 871698 Village Hall: Last Tues in month 7.30pm

751293

01673 861889

CATHOLIC CHURCH Rev Father Owen O’Neil Our Lady of Lincoln

HEARING IMPAIRED INTEGRATION Contact: Mrs Sue Young 750314 14 Highfields Monthly get-togethers from April to November All welcome

LINCOLN ASTHMA & ALLERGY RELIEF TRUST FUND (Regd Charity) Dr I Patterson Secretary: Emma Foster 573417

Sunday 9.00am and 5.30pm Practise every Tuesday 7.30pm HANDBELLS Contact: Andrew Hensman

GARDENERS’ ASSOCIATION Chairman: Ann Harrison 751291 Secretary: Maurice Payne 752009 Old School: 7.30pm First Monday in month, October - June

MEN’S FELLOWSHIP Chairman: Ken King 753174 Secretary: Michael Whalley 595372 Last Tues, Old School: 7.15 for 7.30pm MAMA (Meet-A-Mum-Association) Third Thursday in the month Contact: Anna Fayne 750426 Janet Gibbs 753598 NETTLEHAM CHARITY BINGO Contact: Mrs P Storr 751449 Third Monday and most Saturdays each month, Old School: 7.00pm NETTLEHAM & DISTRICT PROBUS CLUB Secretary: Gordon Fidler 01673 858166 NETTLEHAM NEWS Editor: Nigel Kingston Treasurer: Ken Harrison Reporter: Eric Burton

753000 751291 752227

NSPCC NETTLEHAM BRANCH Contact: Lorraine Olsen 751093 1st NETTLEHAM BROWNIES Contact: Mrs K Westwood 809852 Mondays 6.00pm - 7.15pm 2nd NETTLEHAM BROWNIES Mrs K Harris 823742 Mrs J Jokie 520761 Scout Hut,Vicarage Lane Wednesday 5.30pm - 7.00pm

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Nettleham Directory 2002 1st NETTLEHAM GUIDES Carolyn Turner 01673 861518 Guide Hut, Vicarage Lane Friday 7.30pm - 9.00pm 2nd NETTLEHAM GUIDES Mrs Tebb Guide Hut, Vicarage Lane Monday 7.30pm - 9.00pm NETTLEHAM OLD SCHOOL Bookings: Contact David Dubut

754514

750011

PLAY GROUP VILLAGE HALL Supervisor: Mrs Pape 750467 Chairperson: A Fane 750426 Waiting List Secretary: Mrs Morran 752326 Village Hall pay phone 750467 Monday - Friday inclusive 9.00am - 12noon

01673 844501

Liberal Democrats Chairman: Mrs S Turner ROYAL BRITISH LEGION Poppy Organiser: K Weatherston

548074

SPORT - BADMINTON CLUB Every Tuesday 7.30pm Secretary: R C Tompkins

750686

Every Wed (Ladies only) 2.00pm - 4.00pm Secretary: Mrs F Caldwell 750041

PARENTS TEACHERS ASSOCIATIONS Junior School Chairman: Mrs Paula King 877946 Infant School Secretary: Mrs T Connor 750964

POLITICAL Conservative Association Contact: Gainsborough Telephone

SPORT - ANGLING CLUB Chairman: Brian Spacie

Every Thursday 7.30pm Secretary: Mr J Downs

750819

Every Friday (ladies only) 2.00 - 4.00pm Secretary: Mrs E Rankin 752661

SPORT - BOWLS CLUB Chairman: K Gibbard Secretary: C Kirk

SPORT - CRICKET CLUB Secretary: Mrs A Rice 50 Holme Drive, Sudbrooke Teams from Under 10’s upwards

SPORT - FOOTBALL CLUB Secretary: J Stevenson Treasurer: C Shaw Teams from under 9’s upwards

754663 750987

595579

752324 823912

SPORT - SWIMMING CLUB Chairmen: Dave Buckley 751545 Brian Simmonite 754681 Every Sunday morning during school term

REEPHAM CHORAL SOCIETY Chairman: Mr S Edwards 793299 SCOUTS GROUP (Cub Scouts, Scouts and Beaver Scouts) Group Leader: Mr P Rowlett 801918 Scout & Guide HQ, Vicarage Lane Chairman: R Mountford 752543 ST. JOHN AMBULANCE Nettleham Cadets Division Member in Charge: Mr B Munday 800792 SPORTS & COMMUNITY ASSOCIATION Chairman: M Spencer Secretary: C Shaw Pavilion Bookings: R Wyard Mulsanne Park Pavilion Bar Steward: J Walker Treasurer: J Hartley

754690 823912 823859 750007 823895

WINE & BEER CIRCLE Chairman: K Robinson 17 Mill Hill

750512

WRVS LINELANDS TROLLEY SERVICE Organiser: Mrs A Clixby 751704 WOMEN’S INSTITUTE - Beckside President: Mrs K Kerrison 750119 Secretary: Mrs J Chappell 750723 Second Monday: The Old School 2.00pm WOMEN’S INSTITUTE President: Mrs E Young 750519 Secretary: Mrs A Tompkins 750686 Second Tuesday: Village Hall 7.30pm

NETTLEHAM BOWLS CLUB OPEN DAY

751688

751370

VILLAGE HALL COMMITTEE Chairman: Ray Sellars 750286 Vice Chairman: Steve Cairns 595015 Secretary: Sheila Bonaccorsi 828385 Treasurer: Betty Pape 823792 Booking Secretary: Ian Rushton 856248 Village Hall pay phone 750467

SPORT - TENNIS CLUB Secretary: Gordon Wood 752017 Contact officials for details of playing times, including flood-lit tennis

The Bowls Club will be holding an OPEN DAY on Sunday 5th May at 2.00pm for anyone who would like to try the game of bowls. Woods will be provided, but you will need flat shoes or trainers with no tread. If you already play, but are not a member of the Club, you would be most welcome to inspect our facilities and apply for membership.

NEWSPAPER COLLECTION

THRESHOLD Church Office: 576618 Monday - Friday 9.30am - 3.00pm

TODDLERS CLUB Contact: Mrs M Stevenson 752916 Nettleham Methodist Church Hall Wednesday 10.00am - 11.45 am Tea, coffee, juice & biscuits are available

TWINNING COMMITTEE Chairman: Anne Culling Secretary: Kathleen Williams 47 Washdyke Lane

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524969 750028

The Club would like to thank residents for their continued support of our weekly waste newspaper collections and assure them that it is our intention to carry on in the future. The recycling bins are still available at Mulsanne Park for those who wish to dispose of their own paper.

Any enquiries with regard to the Open Day, membership, or waste paper collections, should be directed to: AIf Frith (Chairman) 01522 750647 or Cliff Kirk (Secretary) 01522 822451

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Telephone: 01522 731710 Mobile: 07944 923855 Email: sales@corneliuscomputers.co.uk www.corneliuscomputers.co.uk

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9 Higson Road Lincoln LN1 3XB

Tel/fax: 01522 536593 Mobile: 07940 502492

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Communication Counts ◆ Speech & language therapy ◆ “Talking Tots” early years groups

Association of Speech and Language Therapists in Independent Practice

15 Lincoln Road, Dunholme, Lincoln LN2 3QU

BSc MRCSLT MASLTIP

Guaranteed Service Competitive Prices

TELEPHONE 01673 863218

Telephone

01673 860685

fiona@communicationcounts.co.uk

HOLMES & FIELDS PAINTING & DECORATING SERVICES FREE QUOTATIONS

@ I CAN SAVE YOU TIME AND MONEY A supportive and confidential service Over 30 years’ experience

BOOKKEEPING

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01522 800768 Mobile

07900 408125

Hand crafted by Mrs B

2 LODGE LANE, NETTLEHAM PHONE: 822383

Telephone Lincoln 751817

JOHN LEE

Fiona Cann

KNITWEAR Individually made in Nettleham

TV - VIDEO - SATELLITE SERVICE AND REPAIRS

(City and Guilds Qualified)

◆ Training/workshops

NEWS AND BOOZE

Sweaters, Jackets, Tunics, Jumpers

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PAYROLL

Peter Allen

Bookkeeping and Accountancy Services

60 Eastfield Lane, Welton, Lincoln LN2 3ND

Telephone/fax: 01673 860350 Mobile: 07710 419742

Email: peter.allen1@tesco.net

CURTAINS

Curtains, Pelmets, Festoon Blinds, Valances, Bedspreads, Cushion Covers, etc.

Expertly made in your own fabrics or fabrics supplied.

Newspapers, Periodicals & Magazines delivered with care to all areas of Nettleham, N. Greetwell, Sudbrooke and Scothern

Domestic and Commercial

We also stock a large range of Groceries, Off Licence, Fruit & Veg + Top Videos

THORPE SOFT FURNISHINGS

6.00am to 9.00pm 7 days a week

Telephone: 751260

Tracks and Blinds, Fitting Service available

Brian & Pauline Thorpe 17 Ridgeway, Nettleham, Lincoln

PLANTS FOR YOUR GARDEN

PAGE NELSON

Bedding plants, conifers, shrubs and rockery plants according to season

5 Lindum Road Lincoln Telephone 531741

Solicitors

by Pam Lawson

Wedding flowers, presentation bouquets, wreaths and sprays (to order)

Your local partners: Richard Hare LL.B. Tim Walker M.A.

76 Sudbrooke Lane Nettleham

Lincoln 754705

Lincoln 753356

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On the Buses!

Just to keep you all up to speed (no pun intended!) - you must all be wondering what is happening with your bus services.

Firstly, Appleby’s Coach Holidays has been sold to Bowings Coaches, they are a tour company based between East Midlands Airport and Birmingham. They have retained the Appleby name and colour scheme and have added the words ‘Part of the Bowing’s Group’ on to the side of the coaches. I feel sure that the holidays offered by them are still up to the high standard previously offered by Appleby’s.

On the service side, which I am sure is probably of more interest to you, the Roadcar has now finished shadowing the Nettleham bus. The Nettleham bus is now owned by a Sheffield based company called Mass Transit, and as I write this I understand that they have just introduced a new timetable with most buses leaving Lincoln at quarter to the hour and leaving Nettleham at 10 minutes past the hour.

For myself, the service with PCs is ticking along quite nicely and has now been extended to give a 9.00am from Nettleham and a 2.30 and 4. 30pm from Lincoln. On top of this, the service now starts near the News & Booze Shop near the junction of Lodge Lane and Sudbrooke Lane. For operational reasons the time from Lodge

Deaths

Lane is 2 minutes prior to Brookfield Avenue, meaning that the normal times on the timetable will remain the same, ie 9.58am from Lodge Lane is 10.00am from Brookfield Avenue, etc.

My thoughts are that with the Doctors’ surgery and two growing estates in this area, there is need for a service. Also it will remove the parking of the bus from Brookfield Avenue, as this waiting time will be taken up in doing this extra few minutes’ mileage. Mill Hill is a long pull for people heading for the doctors, or for carrying shopping home from the village, and it is hoped that this will help to lighten this burden.

The only thing I cannot promise is that you can get a doctor’s appointment that will fall in time with the bus! But if the bus won’t get you there at the right time, maybe it will get you back!

This also means that as the normal Roadcar services, ie from Welton, will still be coming through Nettleham there are now buses into town with PCs on the hour, Mass at ten minutes past the hour and Lincs Roadcar on the half hour. This gives the village an excellent choice of transport and there’s no excuse for taking your car into town anymore!

Colin

✁

PC COACHES Nettleham - Lincoln Timetable (Monday to Friday, including school holidays) Lodge Lane/Sudbrooke Lane Nettleham - Brookfield Avenue Nettleham - The Green Newport/Broadway Junction Eastgate Broadgate Lincoln - The Grand Hotel

08.58 09.00 09.05 09.15 09.20 09.23 09.25

09.58 10.00 10.05 10.15 10.20 10.23 10.25

10.58 11.00 11.05 11.15 11.20 11.23 11.25

11.58 12.00 12.05 12.15 12.20 12.23 12.25

12.58 13.00 13.05 13.15 13.20 13.23 13.25

09.30 09.31 09.32 09.35 09.38 09.50 09.55 09.58

10.30 10.31 10.32 10.35 10.38 10.50 10.55 10.58

11.30 11.31 11.32 11.35 11.38 11.50 11.55 11.58

12.30 12.31 12.32 12.35 12.38 12.50 12.55 12.58

13.30 13.31 13.32 13.35 13.38 13.50 13.55 13.58

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14.30 14.31 14.32 14.35 14.38 14.50 14.55 14.58

1914 - 2002

One of six children, sports lover and keen tennis player, Elsie’s recent death saddened all who knew her. She achieved two personal ambitions; one to buy her council house and the other, thanks to friends Pat and Tony Asquith, was to attend Centre Court at Wimbledon.

Lovely lady, much missed.

Small Ads Let me collect your ironing and do it for you in my own home.

At £4.50 per hour, it works out around £10.00 per basket and will be returned to you the next day.

Telephone 752582

Lincoln Lions Seek Young Leaders Over the years the Lincoln Lions Club have been encouraging enthusiastic young people to serve their community in a variety of ways.

Now it is pay-back time.

We would like to recognize the work they have been, and are still doing, by presenting a number of Young Leaders in Service Awards. This is an International Award supported by Lions Clubs International.

13.58 14.00 14.05 14.15 14.20 14.23 14.25

The award recognizes the work of young people aged from 12 - 18 who can provide evidence of 50 hours (Silver Award) or 100 hours (Gold Award) of service over a twelve-month period.

Lincoln - Nettleham Timetable (Monday to Friday, including school holidays) Lincoln - The Grand Hotel Lincoln - St Swithins Square Silver Street Eastgate Newport/Broadway Junction Nettleham - The Green Nettleham - Brookfield Avenue Lodge Lane/Sudbrooke Lane

Elsie Borman

16.30 16.31 16.32 16.35 16.38 16.50 16.55 16.58

We are planning a Jubilee event and are keen to identify as many young people who fit into these categories as possible.

Please help us to identify these deserving young people to enable us to formally recognize their efforts and give them a day to remember.

Please contact: David Helson, Lincoln Lions President 01522 82454 or call at 14 Ash Tree Avenue to discuss

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A Book by a Village Author ‘Stories for Young Friends of Lincoln Cathedral’ has recently been published

by Lincolnshire born Margaret Parker, resident in Nettleham for the past forty years.

Margaret is Tower Captain of the bells at All Saints’ Church, Nettleham and Leader of the Young Friends of Lincoln Cathedral for children from seven years of age upwards into youth. They meet three times a year in school holidays and receive a magazine each half term. Information and details of their forthcoming activities are on their Notice Board, or may be obtained from the Information Desk, at the Cathedral.

The book is a collection of twenty-one stories of the life and times of the Cathedral. Originally written for the magazines of the Young Friends since the group was started in the 1980s, the stories span nine hundred years and tell of the life and times of the Cathedral, from the beginning in 1072, to the present day.

The stories tell of the original building and subsequent rebuilding after fire and earthquake; St Hugh and the building of the Angel Choir. The crafts of the stonemasons and glaziers are described. There are also a variety of stories about pilgrims, the organ, the mystery plays, the bells and symbolism.

The Good Samaritan, whose carving is part of the Young Friends badge, is the basis of yet another story.

In an enthusiastic Foreword to the book, Vernon White, Chancellor of Lincoln Cathedral has written: “Stories are the lifeblood of Christian teaching. Jesus himself delighted in using them. Whether they are about real or imagined events, stories can convey deep truths about life (and God) in deceptively simple ways.

This delightful collection of short stories weaves some of these truths into the lives of ordinary people caught up in the life and times of Lincoln Cathedral. The stories span more than 900 years. They take us on a tour of its stone and glass, its worship and drama. They are never merely sentimental,

reminding us of the mixed motives which fuel every human activity. They are always Christian, looking for positive teaching amidst those mixed motives.

The author, Margaret Parker, is certainly well qualified to write these anecdotes.

A teacher for 30 years, a Cathedral Guide for 17 years, leader of the Young Friends of Lincoln Cathedral, and active member of the Cathedral Schools Committee, she brings a great deal of knowledge and experience to bear in this collection. It may be designed for children, but I should not be surprised if adults enjoy reading it too.”

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High praise indeed, and I can vouch for the adult interest in this book.

It may be obtained, price £3.50, from Autumn Leaves Bookshop, 19 The Green, Nettleham, Lincoln LN2 2NR, the Lincoln Cathedral Bookshop, or direct from the author, Mrs Margaret Parker, 56 Sudbrooke Lane, Nettleham LN2 2RP. Please add £1 for packing if being ordered through the post. Profits from the sale of this book go to the Friends of Lincoln Cathedral.

Eric Burton

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BRIAN TUPLIN General Servicing

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PROFESSIONAL GARDEN SERVICES

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VIDEO REPAIR SERVICES

NORTH STREET GARAGE NETTLEHAM

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For a good job done at a fair price specialising in all leading makes of TV and Video, particularly ‘own brand’ makes sold by the High Street stores NO CALL OUT CHARGE Free estimates are given, and all work is guaranteed Telephone Arthur Hopkinson Fully qualified TV and Video Engineer

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BED & BREAKFAST Chris & Alan Dawkins Haymans Ghyll 9 Church Street Nettleham Tel/fax 01522 751812 2 double bedrooms, en suite facilities, private lounge.

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ELECTRICAL CONTRACTOR LINCOLN 750041 MOBILE 0585 530631 3 The Steepers, Nettleham

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Peter & Margaret welcome you to

THE BROWN COW INN

Lincoln Road, Nettleham

New Restaurant NOW OPEN ● Public Entertainment Licence ● Live Entertainment every Friday Night ●

New Beer Garden & Parkland (Disabled Friendly) Function Room for All Occasions Available for Hire

Quizzes every Tuesday Unbeatable value for money Available for functions Internet & email facilities New Chinese menu and takeaway Talent night last Friday each month - cash prizes

For more information

Telephone Lincoln 751851 21

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How well do you know Nettleham?

A quiz about the village with a bottle of your favourite spirit (kindly donated by The Black Horse) as the prize for the first correct entry drawn Q1. Horse Dealing Where were horses sold in Nettleham to be used by the Army?

Q16. High Street (a) What was formerly number 11 and 15 High Street? (b) In which year did it change?

Q2. Bill Baileys Field (a) Where is it? (b) Who donated it to the village? (c) In which year?

Q17. Building Date Where would you find 1863 above the door?

Q3. Battle’s House Where can it be found in Nettleham?

Q18. The Plough Inn In which century was The Plough built?

Q4. Thatched House (a) Where was the last thatched house? (b) In which decade did it disappear?

Q19. Chapel Lane Cottages (a) For whom were the two rows of cottages in Chapel Lane built? (b) In which century?

Q5. Hand Grenade (a) Where was a hand grenade unearthed? (b) In which decade?

Q6. The Poor House (a) Where was it located? (b) In which year was it still in use?

Q20. The Post Office (a) Where was the first Post Office in Nettleham? (b) What is the name of the family which occupied the house at that time?

Q7. WB 1884 (a) Where is a house with this on a plaque? (b) What do the initials stand for?

Q21. Jubilee Bridge (a) Where is it? (b) In which year was it built? (c) What was the exact total cost?

Q8. Church Street (a) What separates the garage in Church Street from the adjoining house? (b) What was it part of? (c) When was it built?

Q22. Vicar’s Wood Where is it?

Q9. John Clark Where was a butcher’s shop, used by John Clark, in the early1900s?

Q10. Twin Houses Two old village houses are built to the same design but a long way apart - where are they?

Q11. Walnut House Where can Walnut House be found?

Q12. Woodyard Where is the site of an old woodyard?

Q13. Watermill House (a) Where is it located? (b) What was the total number of watermills and windmills in Nettleham? (c) Was the waterwheel overshot or undershot?

Q23. The Village Pump (a) Where was it located? (b) When citizens of Lincoln obtained water from Nettleham during the typhoid epidemic in the early 1900s, how much per bucket was charged?

Q24. The Bishops’ Palace (a) Where was it located? (b) What caused much damage to the property some years before it disappeared around1650?

Q25. The Dean’s Barn One of the oldest buildings in the village, where is it?

Q26. The Junior School What buildings formerly occupied this site?

Q27. Old Vicarage There are two houses called “Old Vicarage” in the village - where are they?

Q14. All Saints Church From which century does the present church date?

Q28. Beck House (a) Where is it? (b) In which century was it built?

Q15. Manor Court Where could Nettleham Manor Court have been found?

Q29. Village Store The first village store was built around 1872, but what now stands on this site?

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Q30. Tennis Court Where was the first village tennis court?

Q31. War Memorial In which year was the War memorial erected?

Q32. Village Sign (a) Which organization provided the village sign on The Green? (b) What stood here previously for many years?

Q33. Village Institute The building opposite the Plough Inn on The Green was formerly the Village Institute - what was it used for between 1914 - 1918?

Q34. The first Prince of Wales On which date did Edward I declare his son the first Prince of Wales in Nettleham?

Q35. The Black Horse From which year does the present Black Horse public house date?

Q36. Methodist Chapel Where was the old Methodist Chapel located?

Q37. Bus Company What was the name of a Nettleham bus company which ran in the early 1900s?

Q38. Gravestone (a) Who was the Lincoln post boy who was murdered? (b) Who murdered him? (b) In which year?

Q39. American Connection Sir Francis Bernard once lived in the house next to the Plough Inn, but of which American state did he become Governor in 1758?

Q40. Nettleham Today Including the hairdressers, opticians and cafe, how many shops are there in the village today?

Closing date for entries is Tuesday 30 April.

Entries should be sent to the Editor (address details on page 1) Please write the answers clearly.

Quiz devised by Little Rob

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Duck Questionnaire Results In the last edition of Nettleham News, readers were given the opportunity to give their views on the village ducks - whether they considered there was, or was not, a problem, and, if there was, to offer their suggestions as to how it may be solved.

Every single household within the Nettleham Parish boundary received a form via the magazine and on each form there were two entries, enabling more than one resident in the household to participate in the survey. It was also clearly stated that should any additional forms be required, a photocopy return would also be accepted.

A total of 229 valid response forms were received at the Parish Council Offices, representing a return of 13.5%, which, in terms of the average response to surveys of this kind, is actually very good.

The results appear below.

No problem:

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Suggested reduction in numbers: 100% 90% 75% 50% 40% 33% 25% Spoilt questionnaires: Total number of responses:

13 6 123 60 2 1 10 2 231

Sadly, a number of letters to the local press criticised the questionnaire as being undemocratic, making no allowance for those residents who considered that there was no problem.

A glance at the questionnaire form shows that the very first question is “Do you consider that we have a ‘duck problem’ in the village” - with a YES/NO tick box.

Those residents who simply did not take the trouble to return their forms, but then subsequently disagree with the outcome, should accept that this is democracy in action. Individuals who care passionately about an issue will, if given the opportunity (and this questionnaire did just that) ensure that their votes are included in the final count. That’s the way it is.

The Parish Council continue, quite rightly, to seek professional advice from relevant organizations and may not ultimately act on the outcome of the questionnaire, but at least the figures above provide some indication of public opinion on the matter.

The New Recruits Have you ever known anyone who met his or her partner through a dating agency? Or how about someone who doesn’t believe in ghosts, but admits to having lived in a haunted house? Or, finally, how about someone who is terrified of ducks, but bought a house in Nettleham right next to the beck!

Answer “Yes” to the above and you obviously already know Vera and Nigel Compton, new recruits to Nettleham and to the Carnival Committee. Vera and Nigel moved to Nettleham last October and have since thrown themselves enthusiastically into village life. The couple have been together for 15 years and, as I said above, they met through a dating agency.

(I personally found this fascinating, I have always thought that success stories on dating agency advertisements were completely made up, I am obviously too sceptical!) However, meet Vera and Nigel and you will see that the £75 for them was money well spent! They collectively have seven children and thirteen grandchildren, which is why, they say, they have moved to a one bedroom cottage!

Vera and Nigel have always lived in Lincolnshire and the surrounding areas.

From running a B&B in Atwick to living in that haunted house in Roos (I’ll let Nigel tell you about that one!), all successful stops, but they never stopped searching for that ‘dream’ cottage. From their home in

Retford they found their ‘dream’ advertised in the local paper, came to Nettleham on a “beautiful August evening” and “fell in love with the cottage and the village”. Two months later they had moved in.

and Vera has a supporting role. This reason was followed, or was it preceded, by the enjoyment of meeting new people and the excuse for a swift few in the Pub where the meetings are held!

So, what have they been doing since they moved in, apart from relaxing and trying to avoid the ducks! Vera and Nigel have amongst other things joined the Carnival Committee. They did this because they believe that it is important to keep village traditions alive, especially in a village like Nettleham which has changed so little over the years, and they felt that they could contribute to that. Nigel is now in charge of selling advertising space for the programme

Last year, Vera and Nigel moved in after the carnival, so they are looking forward to joining in this year and although they have only been to a few meetings, they are already feeling the benefits of joining the Committee. They would thoroughly recommend joining to anyone, not only to new recruits like themselves, but to anyone who wants to be more involved in village life.

Jill Hill

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LEESING CONSTRUCTION LIMITED

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PAUL STRONG Gas Service Engineer Boilers & Central Heating Installed & Serviced Appliances Installed and Serviced Plumbing All Work Guaranteed Ex British Gas Engineer CORGI Registered Installer

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Speak to Paul Brewer or a member of his staff for their excellent and unbiased advice

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Ode to the Spell Chequer!

NETTLEHAM BRITISH LEGION POPPY APPEAL 2001 They do the rounds, rattle the tins and hope it works - and it always does.

In a year when Nettleham residents were asked to contribute to a great number of organisations, our Poppy Appeal again emerged as one of the most successful.

Increased amounts each year prove it.

Due to the generosity of our village we were able to produce the magnificent sum of £1,739.25p, yet another record of which we should all be proud.

The business and public service outlets handed over a total of £698.00 whilst our house-to-house collectors raised £968.30.

A church collection yielded £72.95. For a community the size of Nettleham, the figures are substantial, but they don’t truly reflect the efforts that people make to achieve them. The goodwill attitude of the business and public service outlets is reflected in their willingness to allow us onto their premises. Without this positive response we would indeed struggle.

Our house-to-house collectors give us that one vital commodity so necessary to our success, that of their time.

Nettleham should be proud of its record of support over the years for the British Legion Poppy Appeal. I’m certain that Bill Timms would have approved of the progress that has been made.

After all, it was his sterling efforts and undying devotion to this particular cause over many years that laid the foundations for our recent successful campaigns.

For all the hard work they put in at the beginning and end of a very active two week period, my sincere thanks go also to the organising committee. Without the help of Alf Frith, Bob Tompkins, Ray Sellars and John Pryke, it simply wouldn’t have been possible.

We always need more help and if anyone would like to assist us in any way, please contact Ken Weatherston: Telephone: (01522) 751370.

Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a quay and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleas two no Its letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me sew.

Submitted by Jill Hill Editor Although this item should, strictly speaking, be on the poetry page, it goes rather nicely with the piece below!

Driving the New Technology For those of you who work with computers and suffer their idiosyncracies and glitches, you’ll appreciate the following: At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates was reported to have compared the computer industry with the auto industry, stating that if the latter had kept up with the technology like the computer manufacturers, we would all be driving $25 cars that achieved 1,000 miles to the gallon.

In a Press Release, General Motors responded to this comment with: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

Occasionally, whilst driving, your car would die for no reason. You would have to close all windows, turn off the engine, restart it and re-open the windows before continuing. For some reason you would simply accept this.

Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would install a new engine.

Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you purchased CarNT, but then you would have to buy more seats.

Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was utterly reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5% of the roads.

The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single General Protection Fault warning light.

In the event of a crash, the airbag system would politely ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

Occasionally and for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grasped the radio aerial.

GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a set of Rand McNally (a subsidiary of GM) road maps, even though they neither 25

need or want them. Attempting to delete this option would cause the car’s performance to diminish by a minimum of 50%.

Every time GM introduced a new car, buyers would have to learn to drive all over again, as none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

You would have to press the ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off.

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Chocolate in Christmas Competition Winners There were quite a number of entries for the Christmas Word Competition which appeared on page 19 of the last edition of Nettleham News and the three entries which identified the greatest number of brand names, each winning a Ploughman’s Bunch CD are: R Biggs 58 Washdyke Lane, Nettleham

CHOCOLATE IN CHRISTMAS

ANSWERS to trade names of chocolate and confectionery as given in sequence in the story Good News, Celebration, Wispa, Topic, Echo, Marathon, Breakaway, Club, Drifters, Tunes, Minstrels, Go, Trio, Ace, Nice, United, Lion, After Eight, Smarties, Galaxy, Orbit, Starburst, Milky Way,

Denise Garside

Mars, Extra, Time Out, Hob Nob, Fudge,

3 Aima Court, Nettleham

Bounty, Variety, Gold, Twix, Classic, Flakes,

Mr T C Bean

Allsorts, Refreshers, Boost, Good News,

Rosedean, Lincoln Road, Nettleham

Quality Street, Airwaves.

Judging by the number of entrants who managed to get all or most of the answers, it goes to show how many chocoholics there are out there!

Congratulations to you all and good listening!

Radio Waves The following is an actual radio exchange between a US naval ship and the Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland, released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10th October 1995.

Americans: Please divert your course fifteen degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course fifteen degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

AMUSING CAPTION COMPETITION RESULT In the last edition of the magazine, readers were asked to submit their suggestions for what the duck could be saying. From the numerous replies, the selected winning entry was sent in by Mrs Rosa Kirkbride of The Barn, Nettleham, whose caption appears below.

Many thanks to all those who entered and congratulations Rosa on winning the £10.00 prize - but please don’t spend it on duck food!

You can cry as much as you like if that bus doesn’t come in a minute we’re going to walk!

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous other support vessels. I demand you change your course fifteen degrees North - that’s one-five degrees North, or counter measures will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

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COOKS KITCHEN OPTOMETRIST

FBDO (HONS) CL

FC Optom

Bollé Sports Glasses

CONTACT LENS SPECIALIST DISPOSABLE AND COLOURED LENSES

5 WATER LANE, LINCOLN Te l e p h o n e : ( 0 1 5 2 2 ) 5 2 5 3 9 5

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01427 610333

Mrs V Cook 68 Melrose Road Gainsborough Lincolnshire DN21 2SD

ROBERT TRUELOVE & SONS (MONKS ROAD) Established 1922

A QUALITY RE-UPHOLSTERY SERVICE FOR OVER 75 YEARS SPECIALISING IN ALL ASPECTS OF ● RE-UPHOLSTERY ● THREE-PIECE SUITES ● CHAIRS ● NEW CUSHIONS FITTED ● REPAIRS Local Specialist Cleaning Service for:Windows/Cladding/Gutters/Secondary Glazing Andrew Bishop, The Cottage, Low Barlings, Lincs. LN3 5DG

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77 All Saints Lane, Nettleham, Lincoln

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Designers, Retailers and Installers of

QUALITY KITCHENS

Lincoln Road Nettleham

Telephone Chris Bowser

01522 595770 28

MOBILE 07880 791762 HOME 01522 750176

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John M Anthony FCA

Chartered Accountants & Registered Auditors Registered Office Anthony House 8 Vicarage Lane Scothern Lincoln LN2 2UB

A professional accountancy and taxation service for the self employed, limited companies and private individuals, offering prompt and personal service with complete confidentiality.

The practice is fully computerised to ensure delivery of an efficient and cost-effective service.

Appointments arranged to suit your convenience, with the initial consultation free and entirely without obligation.

Telephone and Facsimile 01673 861487 Email: john@anthony.prestel.co.uk

The Black Horse

Folk & Blues Club For over 3 years we have brought some of the world’s finest artists to Nettleham.

If you enjoy good, mainly acoustic, music and would like more details join our mailing list or drop in and have a chat about the wonderful artists we will be bringing to your doorstep.

Contact TOM on 750702

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Graham Hill Qualified Painter & Decorator Interior and Exterior Work Small Building and Joinery Repairs Free Estimates 2 Manor Farm Cottages Stainton-by-Langworth Lincoln

01673 861788

ARTIST PICTURE FRAMER (John B Horner)

Quality Commissioned Artwork in Watercolour pen-ink and Pencil Picture framing undertaken including Tapestries, Embroidery, Lace and other fine needlework LINCOLN

Toilets with wheelchair access

751844

LUMBARD TRADE CARS Specialising in used cars up to £3000 Available to hire for

Warranties available with all vehicles

Parties ● Weddings ● Kids Parties ● Meetings

CARS ALWAYS WANTED FOR CASH

Full stage and dressing room facilities Main hall and lounge available to hire separately Bars arranged

Competitive rates: telephone 750286 Do you have

FAMILY OR FRIENDS who would like

OVERNIGHT/HOLIDAY SELF-CATERING ACCOMMODATION for up to 4 people in the centre of

NETTLEHAM? For further information contact Marion or Andrew at “The Teacosy” Telephone 751077 or 751239 evenings

THINKING OF CHANGING YOUR CARPET? Carpet and Vinyl Pattern Books brought to your door Services also available fitting new and own refits Underlay, Gripper Rods, Bars at competitive prices FREE ESTIMATES Telephone Lincoln 533483 Mobile: 07903 565685

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DEEPDALE LANE NETTLEHAM (Just off the A46 opposite the Police HQ)

Telephone Lincoln 753900

USE THIS SPACE to promote YOUR products or services Contact the Editor on Lincoln

753000

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News from Nettleh Nettleham Post Office The queues at the Post Office should be getting shorter. Following complaints about lengthy waits and queues for the Post Office counter stretching up the aisles of the Co-op, the Parish Council contacted both the Post Office and the Lincoln Co-operative Society. The Post Office said that new equipment is being installed to speed up the counter service at Nettleham.

Website www.nettlehampc.info the website of Nettleham Parish Council, has recently been launched on the world-wide web. It is very much at the “drawing board” stage at the moment. Work continues to improve its design and content. The Parish Council also has a new e-mail address: oldschoolatnettlehampc.info

Mulsanne Park New arrangements for the management and maintenance of Mulsanne Park are under discussion. At present, the sports pavilion and field are managed by Nettleham Sports & Community Association on behalf of the Parish Council, who own the land.

The Parish Council has recently set up a Property Committee to oversee the management of all land and property it owns. The proposal is that the running of Mulsanne Park should come under the Property Committee, supported by a Mulsanne Park Users Committee consisting of Sports Clubs and independent members.

Trees Trees are one of Nettleham’s assets and greatly enhance the appearance of the village. There are about 5000 trees on public land in Nettleham and the task of monitoring the condition of these trees and arranging tree maintenance/felling has been undertaken for many years by Parish Councillor John Hill. A recent example of his work is the acacia tree which stood on The Green near the village sign. The tree was found to be diseased. John arranged for the tree to be felled and is in the process of obtaining a walnut tree which will be planted in its place.

Like the trees, the work involved keeps on growing! The Parish Council is looking for someone to assist John in his work. Any resident who has an interest in trees and can

spare a little time to help is asked to contact the Clerk at the Parish Council office (telephone 01522 750011) or e-mail oldschoolatnettlehampc.info

Ducks The duck population of Nettleham has been making a splash! They have even featured on the national news and are the subject of lively correspondence in the local press. In the last issue of the Nettleham News, there was a questionnaire seeking the views of Nettleham residents as to whether they considered there was a problem with ducks in the village and if so, their suggestions as to whether the numbers of ducks should be reduced or any alternative suggestions.

229 valid questionnaires were returned and the results were as follows: % reduction of duck population

No. of residents in favour

0%

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25%

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33%

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40%

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50%

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75%

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90%

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100%

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NOTE Hatched area represents extent of current planning application

The Parish Council took these findings into account when it decided to seek humane ways to reduce the numbers of ducks by up to 75%. This requires a licence and can only be done between September and January. The Council is currently obtaining expert advice.

WLDC Refuse Collection Services Further changes in the refuse collection services by WLDC are imminent. Up till now residents could still have a back door collection for black bag refuse. WLDC are proposing that from 1st April 2002, back door collections will cease and residents will have to put both black bag refuse and white recycling bag refuse on the kerbside.

It is also planning to reduce the provision of black bags to one bag per household per week, although residents can place any number of black bags of refuse on the kerbside for collection. A final decision has not yet been taken and the Parish Council is attempting to have these proposals overturned.

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LOCATION PLAN

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ham Parish Council Refuse Disposal Greetwell Lane Site The refuse collection service on the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of the month was relocated to the above site from January and seems to be working successfully.

The times remain the same as before: Second Saturday of the month 8.00am - 11.00am Fourth Saturday of the month.

10.30am - 11.30am Only the location has changed.

Disposal of Fridges and Freezers New EU regulations came into force on 1st January 2002 concerning the disposal of fridges and freezers. They are now classed as “hazardous waste” and have to be dealt with by specialist facilities. Unfortunately the UK does not yet have any! West Lindsey District Council will collect unwanted fridges/freezers from residents.

There is a proposal to charge £10.00 per item for this service, but this is not yet confirmed.

Proposed Caravan Site on Land Adjacent to the Brown Cow Public House The Parish Council considered the planning application for the above at its meeting on 13th February 2002. The application is for development of a site for up to 30 caravans.

A number of residents spoke against the application at the meeting. The Parish Council decided to support the residents and make a formal objection to the application.

The proposed plan is reproduced here for the information of residents.

The Brown Cow Public House

PROPOSED LAYOUT APPLICATION DRAWING FOR

T O U R I N G C A R AVA N PA R K ON LAND ADJACENT TO THE BROWN COW PUBLIC HOUSE Good brakes you’ve got there, mate

NETTLEHAM

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SALES, SERVICE, HIRE AND SPARES FOR MOST LEADING MAKES OF LAWNMOWERS AND GARDEN EQUIPMENT ®

Lincolnshire’s only Briggs & Stratton Master Sales & Service Dealer

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Bishop Bridge, Market Rasen, Lincs

● Ride-on mower specialists ● New and reconditioned machines ● Part exchange welcome ● Collection and delivery service

01673 844116

Website: www.greenstripe.net

THOMPSON & RICHARDSON (FINANCIAL SERVICES) LINCOLN LTD INDEPENDENT FINANCIALADVISERS ON Local contacts:

TERRY LITTLE M.L.I.A. (Dip), F.C.I.B. STEVE STRAW BA (Hons), A.C.I.B. M.L.I.A. (Dip)

Raven House, 6 Lindum Road, Lincoln LN2 1NN Telephone: Lincoln (01522) 513191 Fax: Lincoln (01522) 519657

PENSIONS INVESTMENTS MORTGAGES LIFE ASSURANCE Regulated by the Financial Services Authority

“The Old Vicarage”

Nettleham Tennis Club is LTA registered and welcomes everyone, irrespective of sex, age or ability, providing tennis for both social players and league players, seniors and juniors.

Coaching is available.

East Street, Nettleham

Old Vicarage Cottage

Bed & Breakfast

Self Catering Accommodation

High Quality Accommodation

Part of one of the oldest houses in the village, with its own garden and off-road parking

NETTLEHAM TENNIS CLUB MULSANNE PARK

Double and twin rooms with ensuite or private bathroom.

Traditional hospitality and off-road parking for guests.

Telephone

01522 752017 or visit our website at www.communigate.co.uk/ ne/nettlehamtennisclub

For more details talk to Susan Downs: Telephone 01522 750819

Tom & Clare Rankin proprietors of

The Black Horse FREE HOUSE

are pleased to support Nettleham News We offer a selection of traditional ales and guest beers and are proud to have been featured in the CAMRA Good Beer Guide for 1998,1999 and 2000.

Meals are served lunchtimes and evenings (booking recommended) Functions catered for.

Telephone 01522 750702 Toilets with wheelchair access

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DOG GROOMER K9 TRIM & STYLE Joyce Linder Bramble Cottage 5 Dunholme Road Welton

Telephone 01673 862968

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TREVOR LAWRENCE Over 25 years experience

PLUMBING & CENTRAL HEATING

BUILDING SERVICES

Central heating installations and servicing Bathroom and kitchen installations Showers and power showers Tiling walls and floors Guttering and leadwork Gas fitting, CORGI Registered gas installer

Extensions, alterations and repairs Block paving - drives, paths, etc.

Patio construction PVC cladding, fascias, bargeboards & soffits PVC doors and windows Construction and installation of en-suites

For Free Estimates and Advice 2 ORCHARD WAY NETTLEHAM

LINCOLN (01522) 750146

St Luke’s Nursing Home (Established 30 years)

Our Priorities are Care, Comfort and Happiness • Quiet village setting five miles from the City of Lincoln • Homely atmosphere • Spacious lounges • Nurse call system • Lifts • Family cooking • 24 hour experienced nursing • Recreational Services

Social Service funded and private residents welcome on long or short stay Contact Matron on

(01673) 862264 for our full information pack

St. Luke’s Nursing Home, Main Street, Scothern, Lincoln LN2 2UJ 33

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Nettleham International Progress is now well in hand for this event, and if all goes according to plan we could see the ‘pilot’ event this autumn.

The Committee has worked very hard on the various proposals and has promises of grants from a variety of Charities on the basis that their representatives will be well entertained here.

There will be great opportunities locally franchises for: Hot Dogs; Ice Creams, Fish & Chips, Chinese and Indian food, home made pies, etc, and of course, 24-hour meals service by the ‘Care for the Aged’ lunch team.

Naturally, the Pubs will be open 24hrs a day for the duration of the week.

Additionally, personal ‘massage’ facilities, for competitors and visitors could be a welcome feature, and, we hope that local ‘volunteers’, offering this facility already, will come forward when they see the money to be made.

With well-sited advertising boards for the TV teams to pick up, and sponsorship, some of us could make a real killing! We are already in negotiation with the makers of: Philosan, Viagra, Exlax, and elastic stockings!

It will be expected that everyone will make an effort to have a long lead, which should reach to the road, ready for emergency re-charging en route, and this will enable people to meet our visitors and enhance our reputation for hospitality.

Teams from the garages can man the pit stops, breakdowns, wheel changing, and re-charging, facilities which could be particularly important, bearing in mind that a village ‘buggyer’ recently only failed to reach Market Rasen for the sake of a sufficiently long cable !

The 24-hour event is planned for a circuit round the ‘Dixon and Hogg’ estates either side of Scothern Hill. This ‘figure of eight’ circuit, making the ‘crossing’ on the hill, will make exciting viewing, with grandstands on Bill Bailey’s Field, (also housing the control tower and offices) and temporary ‘tribunes’ in gardens either side of the roads. Residents there can provide toilet facilities, giving them further good commercial opportunities!

A special team of advisors from our ‘twinners’, Mulsanne, (Le Mans), who claim to have experience of this sort of thing, have volunteered to come over and offer guidance.

They will be housed in caravans, together with the ‘Market Traders’ and Trade Stalls, alongside the Grass Track events, which, appropriately enough, will be on Mulsanne Park. It is still in negotiation, but we are likely to have a series of rock/mod concerts in the

football stadium, and a temporary dog racing track is being considered. Dog owners in the village are already expressing a keen interest in the ‘Rat & Cat Catching’ event!

The village representative of the ‘Hell’s Angels’, Mobility Chapter, assures us that they will be in attendance, ‘mob handed’, so we will probably have to lock up our garden sheds - and daughters!

The ‘Speedway’ circuit will be round the Village Green. This event will entail a series of time trials spread over two or three days, before the Grand Final. The temporary protective netting, spectators’ enclosures, cinder track, medical facilities, etc, have already been franchised. It should be good business for the nearby shops, although they may have to arrange for an alternative entry and exit for ten days or so. (There will be more interesting things than the Parking to think about!).

To make a unique and memorable experience, and widen the interest, other novel, or related, events will take place simultaneously, or even at the same time. These are: Sprint Hill Climbs Up Vicarage Hill by the Scout Hut ‘Ski’ Competition A big ‘burn’ from the top of Washdyke lane, switching off at the bottom of the slope, and ‘skiing’/coasting the furthest distance before coming to a stop.

backside! - that could even be a competition in itself!). It will need five or six sections to decide.

‘Concours d’Elegance’ ‘Tarted up’ buggies with the weirdest accessories: dog dragging attachments; cat bars; child sweeper; Co-op door opening ram; sun roof; klaxon horns, miniature gardens; TV monitors - that sort of thing. This will be held along East Street and round the Library.

The ‘entry ramp/plinth’ will be the judging, and also possibly launching, platform.

The above events are virtually certain, but there is time yet for other, additional, suggestions, if you have any.

We had planned a ‘Wall of Death’ display, but the trial proved a failure. Our gallant ‘trialist’ is still in traction at the moment, but she is on solids, although too ‘wired up’ to do much more than curse. It was a clear case of alcoholic over-ambition. Now it’s all ‘self, self!’ The Buggy’s a write-off; and heaven only knows what it will cost to repair Mr Pickwell’s grain silo! On the lighter side, she is more ‘plastered’ than usual!

This calls to mind the question of drugs. It has been decided that there will be no drug testing. Judging by the activity at the surgery, and the pharmacists, which are now virtually social centres, the place is awash with a huge variety of substances! Besides, we really can’t be bothered.

Cross Country Scramble Starting at the Tennis courts, along the top of Mulsanne, over a temporary bridge through the hedge onto the field path, (this will need a team of volunteers to clear the dog dirt), then Lodge Lane?, Farm Track? Greetwell Lane?

Onto the old bends? Then Beckside into Beech Avenue? across to the ford and up Green Lane, finishing, with ‘wheelies’ over the sports field to the Police HQ main doors.

We’re sure that the police will be delighted, and it could even give them some sort of interest in the village!

The bookmakers will be established in the Old School Yard, and there will be plenty of opportunity for spread betting, with both the ‘big boys’ and the locals there, and this will offer the temporary opportunity for other betting without having to go into Lincoln!

Sprint A short, high-revving event, again with heats, perhaps on the Glebe Farm.

We are planning a multi-faith blessing of the event, including: unusually, the Rastafarians, who have been organised by our single, secret, ‘Rasta’ villager, to be here; and the Mormons, who plan to wish everyone a ‘good day’. As the politicians say: “We will promise to please everyone”.

Dashes Quarter, half and mile straights up Sudbrooke Lane. (This calls to mind the perennial question of the twin beds: What wears the carpet out? Is it the quick dash across, or is it the slow drag back?)

Novelty events Round Poachers Meadow or another of the estates, reversing as needed, into and out of every cul-de-sac (strange phrase that - baggy 34

Now the Committee appreciates that there will inevitably be critics - The ‘NIMBY’s, weary-willys, killjoys, and pessimists of this world are always with us (or rather, against us), and we are bending over backwards to oblige them. We wouldn’t do it any other way!

There will be minor inconveniences, we grant you, but the village will only be closed for a week to ten days to non ‘Buggy Event’ traffic.

Other parts of the village, on the outskirts and places where the events and activities are not, will be available for parking. Volunteer ‘buggypeople’ will be offering lifts, at a

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Invalid Buggy Week nominal price, for those who really want to get to their cars. Village buses will pick up at the Brown Cow, and other points on the village boundary.

The walking should do us all some good and at the same time reduce the village accident statistics. Alternatively, it could boost them, with low-speed collisions, etc, which would give us a more ‘raffish’ image than that of a ‘retirement home’! Either way, the figures could be posted on very big, colourful, boards on the side of Wragby Road, as you leave the ring-road roundabout. There’s barely a dozen or so there at present!

There will also be opportunities for ‘pet-bonding’ whilst the event is on, as they will have to be kept clear of the roads and footpaths. A cat or dog can make quite a mess of a nice paint job, and even damage or slow down a buggy, if it gets in the way!

Opportunities for ‘B&B’ and the selling of insurance, etc, will be plentiful, and the influx of a strong foreign contingent will be very educational for the children (and the rest of us for that matter). We have already had notice of groups coming from Eastern Europe, Albania and the Balkans, plus North and West Africa. Enquiries for the siting of caravans and horses, from the Newark area are also quite strong (perhaps these could be accommodated at the rear of the Brown Cow?). It will make it a very interesting, cosmopolitan, and educational experience.

There should be plenty of opportunities for making new friends, and no doubt the possibility of having the garage cleared, and possibly other rooms too!

Word has now reached us that a Mulsanne team will definitely be here. They compete widely in Europe, as a ‘regional’ team

operating as ‘Motoristes Electrique, Rehabilitation D’Est, Sarthe’ - familiarly known throughout France, by those who cross their path as ‘Les Merdes’. They will, of course, drive on the right hand side of the road, or, as is the custom in rural France, whichever side they feel like at the time!

The numerous commercial opportunities, and consequent injection of life into the village will benefit everyone, particularly those who would like to invest with the promoters in a sure-fire thing. We shall soon be operating from a stall in the empty field next to the Methodist Church and clearing a large level space there for our cabins.

Make sure you don’t miss this one! Come and see us to sign up for participation. Children and Pensioners welcomed. There will be willing hands wanted for push starts of some of the highly tuned vehicles.

Photographs of Old Nettleham From the Editor: Have you got any old photographs tucked away in the back of a drawer, or perhaps up in the attic, of Nettleham as it used to be many years ago?

If so, do please let me have them for publication in the magazine to share with other readers - I will take the greatest care of them and let you have them back safely

The above photograph of local Air Raid Wardens was kindly submitted by Mrs Marjorie George - perhaps you recognise an old friend, relative or even yourself!

Men from left to right: ............?, ............?, ............?, ............?, Mr Saunders, Mr Lomas, ............?, ............?

Ladies from left to right: Mrs Larder, Mrs George, ............?, ............?

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Financial Services John B Carr, MLIA (Dip) Marc G Carr, MLIA (Dip) Terry C Carr, BA (Hons)

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£££££££££ £££££££££ C A R R £££££££££ £££££££££ £££££££££ £££££££££ £££££££££ £££££££££ £££££££££ £££££££££ £££££££££ £££££££££

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John Carr has 28 years experience in finance, being previously a manager with TSB and then a manager of a major building society, before setting up in the village in June 1991.

The family business committed to providing

Independent Financial Advice on all aspects of Personal Finance including: INVESTMENTS PENSIONS LIFE INSURANCE *MORTGAGES/REMORTGAGES

For service with that “Personal Touch”

AGENTS FOR HALIFAX PLC PHOTOCOPYING AND FAX SERVICES ALSO AVAILABLE

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22 The Green, Nettleham, Lincoln LN2 2NR

Personal Investment Authority

Telephone 01522 595678 Fax 01522 595515 *Mortgages are not regulated by the PIA

A FAST, FRIENDLY QUALITY SERVICE, AFFORDABLE PRICES AND GUARANTEED WORK Block Paving ● Driveways ● Fencing Patios/Paths ● Shed Bases ● Decking Drainage ● Exterior Paintwork ● Re-Pointing FREE QUOTES AND ADVICE Garry Crowther, 4 Meadow Way, Welton

Telephone: 01673 862579 *We will beat any genuine quote*

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WASPS With the warmer days of spring and summer approaching, wasps can be a tiresome nuisance when out in the garden or having a picnic in the country.

Here, West Lindsey District Council’s Evironmental Services Division offer some background information and advice on this social insect.

Description Wasps are probably the most familiar and generally disliked of all British insects. Their bodies bear the characteristic black and yellow bands and have a narrow waist in the middle of the body. They vary in size from the worker which is l0-15mm in length, to the queen which is 20mm long and they have two pairs of wings which lock together. The needle-like sting is possessed only by the females and is concealed near the tip of the abdomen.

Distribution Several species of wasps exist in the UK but the most abundant are the Common Wasp and German Wasp, both of which are widely distributed. Both species nest underground or in the cavities of trees, walls and buildings.

workers assist in rearing new larvae and the new queens. Towards the end of the summer the queen lays a number of eggs which produce male wasps and these mate with the new queens.

As the weather becomes colder in the autumn all the wasps die, except the new queens which fly away to find hibernation sites. The old nests are not recolonized the following year.

Control Every effort should be made to avoid carrying out control treatments against wasps and bees, in view of their strong beneficial role as pollinators, predators of garden pests and

A single treatment will usually be sufficient to destroy all the wasps in a nest, but should it be necessary to re-treat, this will be done free of charge. All pesticides are applied by our qualified and experienced staff to ensure the safety of the public and to minimise damage to the environment. As the old nests are not recolonized, treated nests need not be removed.

Pesticides that kill wasps can be purchased from Chemists, DIY and Garden Centres, etc. Instructions for use are always printed on these products and should always be followed carefully. Nests should be treated carefully, preferably in the late evening when the temperature is cooler and the wasps are less active. General treatment of a loft space containing a nest is unlikely to be as effective as treating the nest direct. In addition, such treatments may present an unnecessary threat to bats in your loft, which are a protected species. Should you be aware of bats in your loft, further advice can be gained from the ‘Protected Species Officer’ at ‘English Nature’ on 01476 68431.

Significance Wasps can be a nuisance but are not responsible for the spread of disease. Although they are generally disliked because of their sting, this is only used by most species when the wasp is aroused or frightened. Wasps are responsible for causing serious damage to ripened fruit and are generally a nuisance when attracted to sweet smelling foods. Their benefits, however, are not so widely appreciated, for in the spring and early summer, wasp grubs are fed on other insect pests.

Life Cycle The queen emerges from the nest in the autumn and, after mating, selects a suitable site for hibernation. Late in the following spring the hibernation come to an end and the surviving queen selects a nest site. The nest is usually located either in the ground or in roof cavities and is built up from wood pulp, which is moulded into the outer shell of the nest and contains many internal chambers. The queen lays an egg in each of the chambers and these hatch into larvae, which are fed by the queen on dead insects. When fully grown, the larvae pupate and from the pupae sterile workers emerge. These

only treat wasps where the nest is located inside a dwelling or close to an aperture and there is significant risk to the householders’ well being.

A charge of £25 is made for such treatments, unless the householder is in receipt of benefits, in which case the treatment shall be free.

helpful decomposers of fallen and rotting timber. It will only be necessary to treat wasp nests that pose a particular danger to you or your family. Unless such a danger exists the nests should be left undisturbed.

Where necessary, you can treat wasp nests yourself with care and using a proprietary insecticide. However, if professional help is required, our Pest Control Officers can treat the nest with an insecticidal dust or spray. Please be aware that West Lindsey District Council will 37

There are also a number of private pest control companies that can be found in Yellow Pages, who may be able to offer treatments where West Lindsey Council is not able to. You are advised to check in advance what charges they make for their services.

For further information on Pest Control issues: West Lindsey District Council Environmental Services Division 01427 615411 (Ext:407)

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Dunholme Boarding Cattery 25 Market Rasen Road, DUNHOLME, LINCOLN Situated on the edge of the village, 15 individual heated chalets, each with a covered run

All cats must be vaccinated

Enquiries (01673) 860142

Mouth-watering Meals Delivered Direct to Your Door Do you find cooking a chore? Would you like to avoid carrying home heavy bags?

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Visiting Nettleham Do you remember 1975? Nettleham looked very different then. It was so much smaller than it is now, with far fewer houses.

Kingsway was new. Most of All Saints Lane was even newer. The housing developments off Scothern Road and Sudbrooke Lane were no more than faint gleams in a developer’s eye.

expressing an interest in my offer to invite partially hearing pupils as guests into our home.

We are, I think, particularly fortunate in Nettleham because the spirit of the old community has largely been preserved. The old centre of the village is still the centre, and it is thriving with shops and other businesses, and places where folks can just linger and chat if they have a mind to.

There are enough young people here to make it lively and dynamic, and enough old ones to slow it down a little and share their good cheer.

It was like that in 1975, and visitors used to enjoy coming here then, as they do now.

Among the visitors were pupils from a school in southern Germany. They were fourteen and fifteen year olds, who attended a special school because of their hearing difficulties.

It all began in this way. Our own two children, Paul and Karen, were then aged five and three. Paul had been diagnosed as severely deaf, and attended a special unit attached to the Ermine schools in Lincoln.

Karen’s deafness had not yet become apparent.

Wiltrud Stenzel, a lady in Flensburg, in the extreme north of Germany, on the Danish border, had written an article in “Talk”, the British magazine for parents of deaf children, asking about the possibility of arranging a stay in Britain for a deaf girl who was known to her. Jörg Zimmer, a teacher in southern Germany, also read this article.

Both he and I wrote to Wiltrud expressing an interest, I in case I could help, and he because he also was looking to improve the arrangements that he was making for his pupils. The scheme he was operating at that time involved taking a group of pupils to stay with families in Luton, but the town was too large and the visitors too dispersed for this to be an ideal arrangement. The education of hearing impaired children in Germany was too different from the system in Britain for a school exchange to be practical.

Wiltrud brought Jörg and me into contact.

He wrote to me towards the end of 1974,

Jörg Zimmer Jörg taught English at a special school in Nürtingen, just south of Stuttgart, and he also taught German, History and Geography at the school. He wrote to me explaining something about his work: “Yes, there are particular problems in teaching English as a foreign language to partially hearing children. As most of them don’t hear the ‘s’ sounds they have to pay attention to follow dictations, the ‘th’ is rather difficult, and there are also other pronunciation problems due to the fact that several sounds are not heard. Grammar is no serious problem.

From the first year on, we speak only English in our lessons (of course there are some teachers who don’t dare do so, but they should) which helps a lot to create a natural relation to the foreign language.”

Five of Jörg’s pupils came to Lincoln in March 1975 to stay as paying guests with local families. Two boys stayed with us, one with the Mapleston’s in Wold View, and one with the Fish family at the bottom of Highfields. A girl was accommodated with a family in Washingborough. This group of five pupils, aged about fifteen years old, travelled alone from Stuttgart to Lincoln (and back) by train and ferry, having assistance only to help them cross London.

The visit was a great success and Jörg reported that all five pupils in the group were very satisfied with their experiences.

They were very much impressed with all they saw and they spoke a lot about it in school. Our impressions were equally 40

favourable. I wrote to Jörg a few weeks afterwards: “We were very pleased that our visitors put so much effort into speaking English. We were pleasantly surprised that their command of English was so good, and that they were so resourceful in organizing themselves.” Our experiences of French students coming to England on a scheme run on commercial lines, over several years, had not been so happy. We felt that this new school-based initiative had got off to a very promising start.

The visits to Nettleham by pupils from Nürtingen continued in 1977, again with pupils travelling unescorted. But also that summer, Jörg, who was again visiting Luton with a class, came here just for a day’s visit, so we were able to meet for the first time and I could show him round. The following summer we were able to cement our friendship when Sue and I and our children visited Jörg and his family at home in Nürtingen. During our stay we took the opportunity of visiting the school where Jörg taught and from where the pupils came to Lincoln.

That part of Germany is very attractive and is on the edge of the very hilly limestone area known as the Swabian Alps. One of the attractions of the region is the local Württemberg wine, most of which is a white wine drier than the wines of northern Germany. Unfortunately it is a wine that does not travel well. Not because it is inferior, but because the locals are so fond of it that they drink it themselves! It is not easy to find it, even in other parts of Germany, and outside Germany it’s almost impossible to find. The Swabians have a very civilized custom of opening a bottle of the local Württemberg wine after the evening meal, which always greatly helps conviviality and fostering of international relations.

Looking back through the correspondence that I was having with Jörg at that time, it becomes clear how we were trying to find a formula for the visits to Lincoln which would bring most benefit to the pupils and which would work best. In the meantime Sue and I also helped arrange visits by German pupils from Schleswig (near Flensburg) and also from near Aachen.

By 1979 we had established the pattern which has lasted until now. In June that year Jörg himself, together with another teacher, brought a class of pupils to Nettleham. During their time here, as well

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to ‘Live English’ as living with local families and practising their English by talking to them, they visited a local school, had a guided tour of the cathedral, looked round the castle, spent a day at the seaside and a day in York, and had a variety of other activities. I remember that the day at the seaside was particularly popular with the pupils, as this was a novelty for some of the fifteen-year-olds, who had spent their lives about as far from the sea as you can get in western Europe.

The pupils come from the ‘Realschule’ section of the school. In Germany the Realschule is the middle tier of the three tiers of secondary education. The upper level, the ‘Gymnasium’, is not catered for at this school. Pupils who show particular academic promise move on, after finishing at Nürtingen, to the Gymnasium at Stegen, at the other end of the Black Forest. This is the equivalent of transferring to the sixth form at William Farr or Christ’s Hospital School in Lincoln, except that it is further to travel and most pupils go as boarders.

The Nürtingen school also has boarding accommodation for weekly boarders who live too far away to attend as day pupils.

Pupil numbers at the school in Nürtingen are falling, with more pupils who have a hearing problem being educated in ordinary schools, as in this country. This means that in some years there are not enough pupils to form a viable class, so some pupils are moved up to a higher class and some are moved down. In some years, therefore, there is not a class to come on a trip to England. For most of the past twenty years or so there has been a class to come here, but not always. There was, for instance, no visit last year, but in June this year nine pupils will be coming, seven boys and two girls.

Barbara Gommel I have mentioned Jörg Zimmer as being the initiator of this scheme. Jörg retired last year, and prime responsibility for the arrangements has been passed on to Barbara Gommel, who has been bringing classes to Nettleham since 1984, usually alternating with Jörg. So after eighteen years Barbara knows Nettleham as well as some of its residents, I should think. She has such a lively and outgoing personality that she has made herself quite well known and popular in the village, and being a devotee of the English pub she has taken the opportunity to become well acquainted with village amenities!

will comprise two staff members (who will be staying with us in Highfields) and nine pupils (seven boys and two girls) aged about 16. We don’t ask you to speak German (even if you can we’d prefer you not to!), as they are coming to practise their English. We don’t ask you to put yourself out unduly, as they are coming here to experience the English way of life, and expect to fit into your usual routine.

Host families have not been restricted to the village of Nettleham. Ever since the early days, in some years pupils have stayed in Scothern, or on the northern edge of Lincoln, close to the bus route in and out of town, for ease of transport.

If we are to proceed in the future, we need your help - the continued help of the people of Nettleham. Perhaps you have hosted visiting students in past years, or perhaps you are new to our community and haven’t heard of these regular visits.

Perhaps your children have left home and you have a bedroom free. Perhaps you are looking for something new to get involved in from time to time.

Can you help by providing accommodation for a week this June? The group this year

They are due to arrive on Saturday 9 June and stay until Monday 17 June. They will require bed, breakfast and evening meal, and a light packed lunch, and will pay £14 per day to cover your out-of-pocket expenses. They will be out, with their teachers, during normal school time, visiting various places of interest locally and with possibly two day trips.

Is there anything else you would like to know? Have a word with Ian or Sue Young on (01522) 750314 at home, or 750779 at Autumn Leaves Bookshop. Or why not drop into the shop (behind the Co-op) and have a chat with Sue. Everybody does.

If you are interested in finding out more about the school that the pupils are coming from, you can visit the school’s website: www.jws.es.bw.schule.de Click on the yellow triangle, choose “Sitemap” and then “engl.Seite”.

You can then read about the school in English and see a photo of Barbara.

Ian Young

A party for visitors and host families, now a regular event at the end of each stay. Barbara is attempting to explain something - I wonder what it was!

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Memories of Old Nettleham

Nettleham News:

Childhood in Nettleham during the Nineteen Forties In far-distant childhood days, We made our fun in simple ways.

Through wood and field we’d roam at will, Free of restraint, with knocks and spills.

We searched for conkers and berries And found touchwood in Willow trees.

The village fulfilled all our needs, As we built dens and did brave deeds.

Its leafy haunts and warrened hills, Provided us with ample thrills.

One of the wildest places lay, Where the police field lies today.

This quarry on a massive site, Provided us with great delight.

It must have been forty feet deep, With three steep walls, up which we’d creep.

Deep pools covered part of its ground, And here leeches and newts were found.

There were two mounds like volcanoes, Up which we climbed, just like heroes.

There were huge coils of old barbed-wire, That hid brown rats, at which we’d fire.

The nearby service camps, dumped here And we uncovered souvenirs.

The Parish Pit on Washdyke Lane, Was a place, where we searched in vain, For buried treasure, but we found, Large fossils in the rock-strewn ground.

To Booth’s Quarry, we’d often stray, Where Cliff Avenue stands today.

We braved its two sheer walls with glee,

And fell, without much injury.

The Church Wood was a gloomy place, With fruit trees taking up much space.

Here Mr Bowskill, had two sheds, One selling fruit, one with a bed.

He lived there during warmer days, And we admired his Spartan ways.

We roamed along the eastward stream; And acted out, many a dream.

There were fresh springs and hollow trees, And stepping-stones to cross with ease.

You could walk for miles and see, No dwellings, or activity.

Just rabbits, hares and types of vole; A paradise for a young soul.

We dammed the beck and caused a flood, All the way down to Mansford’s Wood.

We built a cave on old Booth’s field, But we were caught, and had to yield Our spades and forks, to the harsh one, Who met our parents, later on.

We frequently explored the park, To find the tunnel long and dark, Which was supposed to run from there, To the Cathedral area.

Young Southward found a stone-lined hole And scarcely told a living soul.

But he was caught, and there and then, He had to fill it in again.

We sledged in the Park, near Mill HIll, And also, where a pump lies still.

The hollow was just made for tykes, For here we’d race our carts and bikes.

There were two ponds in which we’d play, The tree-lined one, remains today.

We attended the Sunday School, At the chapel and kept its rules.

Both Messrs. Baker and Mansford, Taught us all well, and afterward, Would give us pictures and booklets, Of Christian work and its outlets.

Every year we pulled a cart, On which an organ played a part.

Norman performed the hymns with flair, Whilst our voices rang through the air.

We sang loudly along the streets, Then received biscuits and choice sweets.

Later we raced around the park, Until it grew too cold and dark.

We children wandered everywhere, Quite happily, without a care.

When I look back to those fine days, It never ceases to amaze; That though we had few games and toys, Our fun was richer and our joys.

For we created wonderlands, That few today, would understand.

Our village gave us happy days, And in my case; it will always.

D J Fenwick

Back row, left to right: Peter Mason?, David Marshall, Bernard Ranshaw, Terry Marshall, Terence Clarke, Barry Green, Michael Betts, Alan Barrat, David Atkin, Gary Hill, David Fenwick, Brian Scott, James Townsend?

Middle row, left to right: Ann Kerrison, Pauline Jubb?, Mary Baker, Diane Smith, Pat Crow, Jean Baker, Margaret Brown, Valerie East, Mavis Jordan, Mary Lawrence, Patricia Coke?, Valerie Hindley, Christine Jubb.

Front row, left to right:Christopher West?, Brendan Calvert, John Pollard, Ray Sawyer, Jimmy Adair, Tommy Hill, Stefan Zaremba, Alwyn Coultan.

Teacher: Miss Bowen 42

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The Poetry Pages CREATIVITY The dreams of an enchanted world, Abound in a real poet’s mind; Where truth as beauty is unfurled, And doubt, with potent faith refined.

A wonderment dwells in his brain, Imagination is the key; He creates worlds, from which we gain A purpose, that will set us free.

David Fenwick

Poo-etry When my son was only one or two, There didn’t seem to be much poo On the pavements or on the grass, To the village we could safely pass.

But now he’s a few years older, Dog owners seem to be much bolder, Nobody will possibly see If we walk our dogs at night secretly, They can leave their calling card Without others staring long and hard.

The paths in Nettleham aren’t very wide, And with a child on either side Inevitably one walks on the verge And allows his little feet to merge With something brown and extremely smelly, Then starts to scream and shake like jelly, Because he knows when Mum finds out, She’s quite likely to scream and shout.

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Duck Tales Is this Duck Paradise or what!

Nettleham’s become their Camelot.

Perhaps it’s time to waddle back, Be first in line to grab a snack!

They congregate without a check, Shoulder to shoulder, by the Beck.

Come summertime, their numbers grow, As duckings cause an overflow.

Then wander freely round the streets, Researching suitable en-suites.

And Beckside gardeners find they’re stuck Each with a residential duck!

Where they can nest; or maybe pause To contemplate some other cause.

Do we love them? Of course we do, If only there were just a few!

R Benson

The work of the creative mind, Has a potential that is vast; Unique ideas, are defined With honesty, that’s unsurpassed.

The offspring of the artist’s soul, Are nurtured, loved and then set free; Enlightenment becomes their goal, However brief their lives may be.

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Keith Kerrison’s Farm When I was just a little boy, I found a place that gave me joy It was a farm, owned by a man, Called Keith - I was his greatest fan.

Myself and other noisy tots, Used to play in his yard, a lot.

He let us climb upon the stacks, Then herd the cows, whose rears we’d whack.

We were allowed to feed the hens, And hide in barns, where we made dens.

My friends were just as keen as I, To bring a twinkle to Keith’s eye: Dave Marshall, liked to herd the cows; John Pollard, helped to feed the sows; Dave Atkin, enjoyed climbing stacks; John Sawyer, rode on pony-back We all, were given great licence, Which helped to build our confidence.

We felt we had the right to roam, At Kerrison’s; our second home.

Madge, was the kindly farmer’ s wife, Who kept a home, free of all strife.

She made us welcome any day, And we’d watch ‘telly’ after play.

Keith was our hero, for he’d climb,

The highest tree or tell a rhyme.

He’d drive a bull or boss a boar And take our side, in a gang war I think he had great vision too, For he made childhood dreams come true.

Each year he took us to harvest, And trips to Sudbrooke were the best.

We’d climb aboard a long haycart, Then cling on tight as off we’d start.

Whilst labourers, cut crops all day, We’d explore, climb, or idly lay.

Then in the evening, we’ d ascend, A high-piled load, at the day’s end.

We felt elated, way up high, ‘A bunch of heroes’, in the sky.

When I look back, over the years, I recollect vague childhood fears.

For father, was far overseas, Which often caused me slight unease.

But I had many cheerful friends, And I feel that, this made amends.

One role-model, was Keith, our host, Who worked so hard, but would not boast.

So I still think of him today, With thanks, for golden years of play.

David Fenwick

So all dog owners please have a care, Think of those whose village you share, And when your dog decides to poo, Bag it up and take it home with you!

Joanna Benton PS Have pity on me, a poor child, Who has to face my mum - she’s wild!

To my great and eternal shame, I’ve gone and trodden in it again.

She’s really got enough to do, Without removing your dog’s poo!

Jonathan Benton (Age 9) 43

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Gas Wise Contact John Dyer Specialist Gas Service Engineer (ex-British Gas Engineer)

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Ian and Sue Young

19 The Green, NETTLEHAM, Lincoln LN2 2NR Telephone (01522) 750779 (24 hours)

Quality second-hand books and new CD’s at affordable prices New books obtained to order

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The Nettleham 2000 Running Club I don’t know about you, but there have always been things I have wanted to achieve, but for one reason or another I have never got round to doing them.

running, because that would be untrue, and I know I’ve a long way to go yet, but I have enjoyed the sense of achievement, the level of fitness and the friends I have made.

Running for me is one of those things. Last year my New Year’s resolution was to stop procrastinating and to actually do something, there was perhaps room for a bit of selfishness in my life.

Last year the club entered the Woodhall Spa 10k Run (6.2 miles) and although my own time was nothing to get excited about, I finished and I didn’t finish last! If someone had said to me at the beginning of that year that I would be able to run that far I would have scoffed and said “I can’t run”.

(How many people have said that to me since!)?

The Nettleham 2000 Running Club was set up by two running enthusiasts from the village in September 2000. I joined in February last year - a complete novice, I could not even run a mile without stopping - now one year later and several miles further down the road I am still going.

I won’t say I have enjoyed every minute of

As a club, and as individuals, there were representatives at numerous runs last year, and this year that includes the Lincoln 10km and the London Marathon amongst others.

Some of us are slow and some are fast, but we all encourage, work and laugh together.

I think that is what makes us a club and not just a group of people who happen to be all running in the same direction. Although I do run on my own, my motivation is not good, which is how the running club supports me. But it’s not all about running, last year we had a Christmas Party, a Pub-crawl and, every couple of months, a Club meeting where everyone can have their say. I am not sure what the social secretary has up her sleeve for this year yet!

The Running Club meets at Mulsanne Park on Mondays (7.00pm) and Thursdays (6.30pm).

The distances run are tailored to the needs of individual runners, so if you are already marathon fit looking for running companions or a novice like me looking for encouragement, there is something to suit all.

If you would like more information contact Les Ball on 750600 or Barbara Dobson on 808692. Finally, if you happen to be watching the Lincoln 10km in April this year, look out for the black and white strip of Nettleham 2000 and give us an extra loud cheer (or a lift!).

Jill Hill

The Boxing Day Village Walk On a nice, crisp, sunny day 28 of us and half a dozen dogs set out on this year’s Boxing Day Walk.

On arriving at Heath Lane we had a break to let everyone catch up with Dennis Gurnhill doing his ‘whipper in’ bit.

for a few weeks now and seems to be surviving well. Anyhow, where were we?

Oh yes, on Scothern Road.

We met, as usual, on the village green at about 10.30am and then set off up Beckside. By the time we had reached our cottage, Tizer, who was as usual leading from the front, thought he was going back home. He was happy to see us all walking past and heading up Green Lane.

The walk along the lane, I think, was the longest bit of the walk, seeming to go on forever, but we reached the start of FPl50, Skelton Corner and started our walk back to the village. (It was noted, however, that some walkers did ‘cut the corner’ - their names were taken and they were given 200 lines each! “I must not cut corners!”

We followed another permissive path to join up with FP149, The Scothern, and started across the fields back to the village.

Once again, walking across a ploughed field that was hard with frost made for difficult walking, but we soon arrived at the junction of High Leas and Highfields.

Once at the top of Green Lane, we turned right and headed across the road to the start of The Heath footpath. It was a lovely day and, as we got to the top of the hill, we had a lovely view of the Wolds in the distance.

It was a pity though, as we got nearer to Heath Farm, to struggle across land where the footpath should have been but hadn’t been marked or cleared. And later as we walked across the fields towards Heath Lane it was pure guesswork as to where we should have been going. Once we had seen the gap in the distant hedge we headed straight for it.

We then went via a permissive path to Scothern Road and, after turning right, we all noticed a Green Parrot in a tree! This gave us all a natural break while we watched the parrot for a while allowing everyone to catch up again. Most of us tried our ‘Parrot Language’ ie: “Hello Pretty Polly”; “Who’s a Pretty Boy Then” and “Pieces of Eight” Needless to say it didn’t take a blind bit of notice of us. It was interesting though and one wonders where it came from. It seems to have settled in the garden of 15 Beckside and has been there 45

When we reached the village we all dispersed to our various homes agreeing that it had been a lovely walk. It was a magnificent turnout on a lovely, crisp, sunny day, made all the better because we were able to walk on footpaths that we had been unable to walk on for the past year due to the Foot & Mouth outbreak My thanks go to everyone that attended and especially to Dennis Gurnhill for his work in checking the footpaths and making sure that nobody got lost.

Martin Farmer

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NSPCC A Record Year

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NSPCC COMMITTEE REPORT TO NETTLEHAM LADIES’ CLUB ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING 27th NOVEMBER 2001 I am very pleased to report on another year’s successful fundraising.

This year we have raised a grand total of £3,644.04, as follows: 2000 Christmas Fayre (includes Ladies’ Club AGM 2000 hampers)

£ 837.00

Garden Party

£933.20

Collecting Boxes

£61.32

Nettleham Carnival

£39.15

Jumble Sales

April October

£116.10 £155.00

Nettleham Cares

£109.10

Coffee Mornings (Average profit - £87.55)

We should like to thank all our supporters and helpers, also the local businesses who donate raffle prizes not only to us but the many other good causes in the village.

The Garden Party held in the beautiful setting in Church Street is one of the most Nearly New enjoyable events in our calendar, especially when the sun shines, as it did on this Donation from Birchwood Youth Club occasion, and the Committee appreciates 2000 Christmas Catalogue Orders Lorraine’s (our Chairman’s) generosity in hosting this fundraiser.

The Christmas Fayre held on 1st December, which begins next season’s fundraising raised £902.53 - so we are off to a flying start for 2002!

£ 271.10

January £ 95.68 February £101.91 March £ 98.02 April £67.51 May £82.36 July £62.56 September £100.66 October £93.16 November £ 86.10

£ 787.96 £4.00 £ 200.00 £401.21 £3,644.04

This marvellous sum again exceeds last year’s figure and represents all the hard work of the committee.

Coffee mornings continue to be a success and we thank all our regular customers for their support in buying our cakes, raffle tickets and refreshments at the Black Horse. We thank Tom and Clare Rankin for continuing to allow us the use of the kitchen and lounge bar on these occasions.

Nettleham and District Probus Club The January luncheon meeting of the Club, held at the Four Seasons Hotel, Dunholme, was the occasion when the President for 2002 , Derek Kirk, was installed by the retiring President, Ken Gibbard.

The meeting was extra special as all the surviving Past Presidents and Founder Members were able to be present as shown in the photographs.

Past Presidents of the Nettleham & District Probus Club Back row, left to right. Gordon Fidler, Gerald Smith, Bob Marshall, Ken Gibbard Front row, left to right. Robert Townsend, Bruce Doggett, Derek Kirk (current President), Philip Seymour 47

The President thanked Ken Gibbard for his year as President and as Outings Secretary, for arranging several excellent trips and visits. Special thanks were also given to two members who had retired from the Committee after many years of service, Bob Marshall and Gordon Fidler had both served as President and Secretary and the Club wished them well on their retirement to the “Back Benches”.

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BEST KEPT VILLAGE AND SMALL TOWN COMPETITION Alongside are the final results of last year’s Best Kept Village and Small Town Competition and at the base of the page are the actual points gained by our village in each of the nine individual categories.

The following are the the judges’ general comments about the village: We enjoyed our afternoon in Nettleham including a good cup of tea. Great pride is taken in enhancing the beauty of a naturally attractive village and the effort needed for this has obviously spread from the older residential areas to the newest ones. Well done everybody!

Editor: I wonder how one gets to be a judge for this competition - it must be a very pleasant occupation visiting all the different entrants and sampling their delights!

2001 Competition Final Results Class 1: Small Villages (population of 100-500) 1st North Scarle

Tealby

Class 2: Medium Villages (population 501-2000) 1st 2nd Sutterton Middle Rasen

Joint 2nd Witham on the Hill

3rd Scopwick

Class 3: Large Villages and Small Towns (population 2001-7000) (Nettleham is in this group) 1st Burgh Le Marsh

2nd Barrowby

3rd Scotter

Maximum

Given

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You are to be congratulated on a virtual absence of litter throughout this large village. Two telephone boxes with broken glass.

Category B Trees; hedges; ponds; streams; dykes (General appearance; man-made features)

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10

Hedges well maintained sides of Beck clear and no litter in the stream itself.

Category C Fences; walls; roads; paths; verges (General appearance; man-made features)

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13

Verges cut and fences in good repair on the whole. You were lucky that some developers built such attractive walls on some estates.

Category D Village/town centre and/or hall; schools; park; playing fields

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14

A naturally attractive area with the old houses, green and Beck (and ducks!) but all was tidy and an effort had been made.

Category E Gardens; window boxes; allotments; private out-houses; garages; caravans - caravan sites

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We could hardly find any neglected gardens!

Even a street lamp had a bird-box - a great effort.

Category F Churchyard; Chapel surrounds; cemeteries; war memorials

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18

Churchyard beautifully kept. War memorial bright with pansies.

Chapel tidy.

Category G Business premises including inns; farmsteads; workshops and stores

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9

Most had made an effort to brighten up their premises.

Category H Signs; notices; advertisements; signposts

10

7

We noticed the extra effort made with the footpath signposts.

General noticeboard tidy. Noticeboards rather let down by the shop on Lodge Lane corner.

Category I Marks for community effort

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9

The village is large enough for many activities to flourish but there was obviously effort and co-operation to make this a nice place to live.

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Category A Absence of litter; unauthorised/unsightly refuse dumps; bus stops; telephone kiosks

Judges’Comments

Notes: Absence of a feature listed in the score sheet will not entail a loss of marks. Natural and architectural beauty will not be taken into account.

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Nettleham Tennis Club When I was asked to do this article, I decided to trawl the records of the tennis club. The tennis club is a traditional village club and has been going for over 30 years being formed in 1969, which is longer than you would imagine, as I discovered when I read the oldest set of Nettleham Tennis Club rules I could find.

In 1970 the rules stated: Adult membership £2 per annum.

Players under 14 years old shall not use the courts after 7.00pm weekdays or after 2.30pm at weekends.

No playing after lighting up times, ALL players must vacate the courts before dark.

Occasional matches may be played with the permission of the Parish Council.

Ah yes, 30 years is a long time.

In 1977: the minutes read....“D...C... did not turn up for the tournament and had given no apology. It was suggested that the secretary write to him and in the event that no apology was forthcoming, the player would be banned from taking part in future tournaments”.

The club playing at Bill Bailey’s field had a membership that appeared to be quite a social lot with meetings held in the White Hart and the minutes crammed with social activities - with little talk of playing tennis.

The club became more competitive and in 1978 thirteen league matches were played.

1980: saw a protracted discussion between the Tennis Club and the Parish Council over repairs and the length of time it was taking to do them. (Perhaps times don’t change as much as I thought). The Parish Council did offer to put a roof over the middle toilet. In their first season in the Lincoln & District Men’s League the club were Champions. Fees were increased to £5 per annum.

1983: and a move to Mulsanne Park was getting closer, the aim: 3/4 courts within 3 years. The junior membership was steadily growing, with a lot of work coming from Alan Dawkins, aided by Brian Staveley and Stuart Johnson.

1986: saw a dramatic rise in the number of juniors with over 50% of the membership being under 18 years of age. If I remember correctly Chris Rawson (now Dawkins) and Marion Hensman started my children and many others on the tennis road.

1987: The club moved to Mulsanne Park.

1990: saw floodlights over the courts to allow night-time playing. No vacating the courts at lighting up time now. How times change. Juniors were still considered an important part of the club and were being coached by Phil Danby, a qualified LTA coach, with the aid of club members Chris Dawkins, Marion Hensman and Alison Ranshaw.

1992: and a protracted discussion over the speed with which the Parish Council carry out repairs. Perhaps times don’t change as much as I thought.

1996: saw the loss of several active players and committee people for various reasons.

This year also saw a 24% increase in membership fees to the Sports Association, with the consequence that tennis club fees were raised to a level that some found unattractive.

1997: The club continued to thrive with a total of 10 teams performing in various leagues. The tennis club were now actively helping local charities such as the NSPCC and Cancer Research.

1998: A sign of the times perhaps, the minutes start to make regular mention of damage and vandalism. Unfortunately, the club again suffered a loss of members but with a committee of 16 it was felt the trend could be reversed. The club held a Play Tennis day, which offered a full day’s tennis for both old and young players, members and non-members, free of charge.

A lot of work was being carried out behind the scenes for a lottery grant to improve the facilities of the tennis club.

This year also saw the first Annual Ladies Day, which proved a great success and continues to this day.

1999: Another increase in the fees to the Sports Association, this time 20% and, as had happened in 1996, an increase in club fees resulted with a corresponding drop in membership.

2000: The number of teams playing in local leagues numbered 9 and the club was finding it difficult to muster teams. Few apologies for non-attendance in the year 2000. There was a shortage of volunteers for just about everything. The club decided to appoint a qualified coach, who it was 50

hoped would spearhead the drive for more members. The social tennis side of the club continues to be popular and the club created their first website: www.communigate.co.uk/ne/nettlehamtennisclub

which became a source of information and sometimes entertainment. It is updated regularly and is well worth a visit.

Despite being a small club, junior and senior coaching has been offered over many years, with several junior members moving onto higher levels of play including the county junior and senior teams.

Currently the club have two coaches, both LTA qualified. Katherine Braund and Stephen Wood are running a successful junior section, with group coaching on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

You can contact Katherine on: 01522 826709 or 07751 534971 (mobile) or kbraund@hotmail.com Steve can be contacted on: 07786 443229 For the ladies, there is an active group who play on Tuesday afternoons and Thursday mornings all year round. For social players there is a very popular Friday club night, and for the very young there is the Saturday morning club run by qualified tennis leaders. The more competitive have their practice night on Mondays.

Tennis is played throughout the year. The club welcomes any player, who will be assured of a friendly welcome. Further details can be found on the website.

During the coming summer there will be another Play Tennis day which will give everyone the chance to visit the club, meet the members and have a full day playing tennis for free, even the balls and rackets are provided. Why not have a walk up one of these fine spring evenings and try us out.

Membership applications can be downloaded from the website or by contacting the Secretary.

Although the committee is somewhat smaller than it used to be, it does work extremely hard for the benefit of all the members and I thank them all.

Gordon Wood, Secretary e-mail: thwarted@everyturn.freeserve.co. uk

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Nettleham Football Club Currently the club are about two-thirds of the way through the season, and, as usual, some Nettleham teams are doing very well, others are struggling. Hopefully all thirteen teams in the club are enjoying their sport and players healthier and happier as a result of their involvement. Two teams have recently won through to Cup Finals - the Under 15s will be playing their League Cup Final against Wyberton on 20th March and the Saturday Reserves will have the advantage of playing in the Autumn Cup against Monsoons at Mulsanne Park on 27th February.

Discussions with the Lincolnshire FA are proceeding with a view to the Club obtaining a ‘Charter’ status, which will illustrate that certain defined standards are achieved within the club. The standards relate to organisation, administration, coaching and child protection.

We believe that this will be a worthwhile

development and eventually lead to the Club being classified as a ‘Community Club’. This classification is one being promoted by the Football Association, which has concluded that the long term sustainability of ‘grass roots’ football depends on clubs which cater for all sectors of the community - children, adults, males, females, etc. The concept is one which we have actively pursued for many years.

We have a wide range of teams, playing at various standards, so that any local residents have an opportunity to play if they so wish. Anyone interested in playing should contact me, in the first instance, on Lincoln 750532. I will then put them in touch with the appropriate team manager.

Mini-Soccer is still proving very popular.

We have run sessions for over ten years now, for boys and girls between the ages of five and ten and regularly have attendances of forty-plus. The highest number ever one

Saturday morning was 102! We managed somehow, so we would be happy to welcome more boys and girls from the village and surrounding area. Registration is from 9.00am every Saturday so come along and enjoy an introduction to a wonderful sport.

We also require more helpers to run the club, with opportunities for residents of Nettleham to assist with the coaching, administration, catering, maintenance, secretarial work, etc. I would be very pleased to hear from anyone prepared to undertake voluntary work.

All players and officials of the Club extend their best wishes to Belinda Jordan who has recently been in hospital. Belinda has worked very hard for the Club for many years helping to raise much needed funds.

We all hope that she makes a full and speedy recovery.

Clive Mason, Chairman

Nettleham Cricket Club Interested in playing cricket?

Nettleham Cricket Club is about to enter its 24th season with increased optimism for the future. The club includes teams to cater for all ages and abilities and we especially take pride in encouraging youngsters throughout the area to learn and to take part in the game of cricket, some for the first time in their lives !

Currently the senior first team play in the Premier Division of the Lincolnshire League, with the second team playing a more ‘sociable’ game in the fourth division of the same league.

For the 2002 season we intend to field the following teams: 1st and 2nd Saturday Teams Sunday Team Ladies/Girls Team Midweek senior Team Junior Teams in the age groups: Under 9s, l0s, 1ls, 13s, 15s and 17s.

We believe that this range of teams is unique to the area and through the club’s

youth policy young players have gone on to represent the County Teams at all age levels.

At Mulsanne Park we have what is commonly acknowledged to be one of the finest wickets in Lincolnshire, qualified ECB coaches, 2 all-weather nets, bowling machine, catching cradle and use of the comfortable clubhouse.

Players of all abilities are made to feel welcome, so why not come along and see for yourself? All junior teams have managers in place and receive quality coaching, as well as being entered into the local league and cup competitions.

One of the exciting events planned for 2002 is the proposed recruitment of an overseas player to bolster the 1st team’s chances of promotion, as well as providing further coaching options.

Our website www.nettlehamcc.co.uk has attracted interest throughout the world, with players from Australia, South Africa, India and Pakistan all registering their interest in playing from Nettleham.

Each year we have a family fun day in 51

memory of one of our founders (and former Editor of this magazine) - Mr Geoff Clarke.

This event grows each year and gives the chance for the whole family to come along and play a fun game of cricket.

This year we are also intending to host a charity cricket match in conjunction with St Barnabas Hospice.

We are no different to any other amateur sporting organization in that we rely on fund raising and sponsorship to keep going.

We are always very pleased to hear from local businesses which may be interested in sponsorship, which could be sponsoring an entire team or just the match ball.

If you feel that you can help in any way and want further information on the club, please visit our web site - www.nettlehamcc.co.uk or contact the chairman Mr. David Wheatley 01522 857933, or if you just want to spend a relaxing day watching cricket, just come along to the ground at Mulsanne Park.

Chris Brown, Secretary www.nettlehamcc.co.uk

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STOP THAT STAIN!

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When you need Professional Cleaning.... ....Call the Professionals

The Christmas celebrationss are over, but sadly we are often left with stains by which to remember the festive season.

Many of us are absolutely devastated when one of the kids, grandchildren or guests accidentally spills chocolate, wine, tea or tomato sauce on our cream carpets and new suites. The smallest stains and spots can ruin beautiful furnishings that we have worked hard to buy and of which we are justifiably proud.

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Unknown spill

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William Farr Church of England Comprehensive School

50th ANNIVERSARY YEAR 2002/2003 From September 2002 to July 2003 we shall be celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the founding of our School by the Reverend William Farr with a number of special events throughout the year.

If you, or any of your family, were: ● a pupil, member of staff or a governor at the school at any time since 1952 ● involved in the setting up of the school from 1946 to 1952 ● friends with, and have any memories or information about, the Rev William Farr ● stationed at RAF Dunholme Lodge during WW2. (44, 170 or 619 Squadrons).

Or if you have any old school photographs and other ‘memorabilia’?

We would like to hear from you.

To register an interest, and your details, please visit us, or contact the school in any of the following ways: ● in writing: ‘50th Anniversary’ ,William Farr School, Welton Rd, Lincoln LN2 3JB ● facsimile : 01673 862660 ● email : wfarr@wfs.lincs.sch.uk or ht@wfs.Iincs.uk ● website : www.wfs.lincs.sch.uk and click on to ‘ex-student’ page ● telephone: 01673 866900 giving the following details: ● Full name (and name at school if you are female and married). ● Date of birth ● Times you joined and left the school ● Permanent address and telephone number for communication ● Email address A programme of events will be published in the Spring and information will be available on our website and on the ‘Friends Reunited’ website.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Paul Strong - Head Teacher

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BECKSIDE NEWSAGENTS 751331

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A Selection of Parish Magazine Howlers A Parent/Governor View When I was asked to relocate my family from Merseyside to Lincoln about 8 years ago, one of the main reasons for choosing Nettleham as a place to live was the quality of the education that the village provided.

Before we looked at any houses, we visited the infant school and were impressed with what we saw - several months later we moved into the village. We have had three children pass through the school and have been more than happy with the quality of education they have received.

All three really enjoyed their time at the school and were sad to leave when they reached the end of year 2. Formal education is supplemented by fun events such as supporting World Book Day, when children have to dress up as their favourite character in a book, we have had Noddy, the BFG and Katie Morag leave our house for school. Trips out from the school whether to the local Post Office, or a coach trip to Skegness, are always looked forward to and provide happy memories both for parent helpers and children.

The “Friends of Nettleham Infant School” take an active part in school life and raise money for the school through events such as quiz nights, Christmas and Summer

Fayres, school discos and children’s fashion shows. The money raised is spent on projects such as buying additional computers for the computer suite or improving the quality of the school grounds.

For example last year money raised was spent on refurbishing the playground by buying new outdoor play equipment and paying for an artist to come into school and work with the children in designing and painting murals to be mounted on the outside walls.

Standards in the school are high and the SATS results over the years have been very pleasing. Governors and staff work hard to maintain and improve these results, yet try to keep a healthy balance between the Government’s continual drive for improving standards and school being a happy and fun place to be. As an ex-parent and a governor I think that balance has been achieved and will continue to be so.

If you are moving into the village or surrounding area and are after a school for your children, then I suggest you come and visit the Infant School, you won’t be disappointed.

Neil Campbell

Nettleham Ladies Club Just over a year ago I retired from work and moved to Nettleham from Oxfordshire.

What a wrench! No work, no friends, time on my hands.

So I picked up the Nettleham News to see what I could do to keep me sane. I saw that there was a Nettleham Ladies Club, so I went to their meeting and joined.

Now I am the Chairman (for my sins). So if anyone is new to the village or are residents of old, this is a brief outline of what the club has in store for the coming year.

On 20 February we gave a party for the Forget-me-not Club. We are holding our Annual Spring Fayre in the Village Hall

on 27 April at 2.30pm. This year it is in aid of the Lincoln & District Stroke Association; an illness that has no age limit - young or old. There will be stalls for cakes, crafts, toys, nearly new and lots, lots more, so please come and see for yourself.

Each month there are speakers on many different subjects such as Tracing your Family Tree, also outings to the theatre and places of interest. So, if like me, you want to make friends, our meetings are held at 7.30pm on the last Tuesday in the month at the Village Hall. Please come, you will be made very welcome.

Lillian Cleverley 55

A song fest was hell at the Methodist Church on Friday.

Thursday night is “Pot Luck Supper”.

Prayer and medication will follow.

Don’t let worry kill you, let the church help.

For those of you with children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Eight new choir robes are needed due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some of the older ones.

The Rector would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast on Sunday morning.

The above have appeared in the East Bridgford & Kneeton Parish Magazine and were kindly sent in by Ken & Janet Redmore

Editor: Have you seen any genuine howlers or mis-prints in the press? If so, do please let me have them for possible future publication in Nettleham News (if there are any in these pages, I’d really rather not know about them!).

JUST A STORY From Sutton on Sea Parish Church magazine

A man spent most of his life longing to go to heaven. Eventually he died and an angel took him on a conducted tour of majestic mountains, sparkling streams, fern-filled forests and green meadows. Children were laughing and playing, and music filled the air.

“So this is heaven?” said the man. “How wonderful!”

“No” replied the angel “This is the world you lived in and never saw.”

Just a story, but there may be a message for us all here.

Richard Emerson

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Working in Mozambique It all started about 2 years ago when two missionaries, Jerry and Gina Silva, who had been in Mozambique throughout the civil war and subsequently endured the horrendous floods that we all saw on TV, contacted a Lincoln organisation called Christian Partners in Africa and asked if CPA could provide some people to help in their mission based in Vilanculos, Mozambique.

They requested that the volunteers be able to give them 3 months continuous work.

This is where we came in, we being Linden and John Boothby, and Darren Clawson (all from Nettleham), together with Alan Hoare and Mandy Hunter from Lincoln. Jerry and Gina came to Nettleham to talk to us and to see if we had any skills that they could use.

Linden is a manager in the Health Service, I am a lecturer in Health & Safety, Darren works for the NHS as a District Nurse and a midwife at the Lincoln County Hospital.

Mandy is also a midwife at the County.

Anyway to cut a long story short, it was agreed that four of us would go out for 3 months from August - November 2001 and that Alan Hoare would do the last month.

Linden was to work on primary health care, this changed quite significantly when we got to Vilanculos - me to do some Bible training at the Bible School, (very scary), Darren and Mandy to develop a training course for the locals in Health Care.

The day came for departure to Vilanculos via Amsterdam and Johannesburg with KLM. Things went wrong immediately, what with late planes, unserviceable planes and missed connections, it took us 5 days to reach our destination!

Vilanculos is a small town on the Indian Ocean between Maputo, the capital, and Beira. The area is beautiful and the weather was tremendous. We were placed in different houses, Mandy and Darren stayed with Jerry and Gina in what became known as the ‘big house on the hill’, Linden and I were in a hut, which we affectionately named ‘cockroach cottage’ (for obvious reasons). Over three months there were many significant events, far too numerous to cover here, so I shall take just a snap shot of what went on.

Linden as mentioned earlier, had her objectives changed on arrival for many reasons and she was asked to train local

people in management and leadership skills. Surprisingly, they said through interpreters either in Portugese or Chitswa that they would like to be trained in Project Management, gap analysis, etc. Thus she developed a course to be delivered to local employees of Save the Children, Oxfam, World Wildlife Fund and Jesus Alive Mission. She carried out the training in Vilanculos, in Mabone township, to a group of young people who wanted to redevelop their town (following the devastation of the flooding of the Save river which runs close to the town and also to the workers of Save the Children) in the middle of the bush under the moonlight.

I was to deliver training on the Bible to six of the students at the mission’s Bible School. I did this for a month, in between building a roof for a large store barn from scratch using local wood. This was very exciting as I was working with the local people, and although we could not understand each other verbally, it is surprising how you can make yourself understood by using sign language.

During the day the temperature reached up to 35˚C, so we took frequent breaks and during this time I watched the local birds flying around, such as eagles, parrots, kingfishers, humming birds and many others with beautiful colours, of which I did not know the names.

One of my tasks was to accompany Jerry in his very old Mercedes 7-tonne lorry overloaded with building material, to set up a church in a village approx 200km into the bush - we also had (perched on top) a local pastor and his wife and child - they would run the church.

During the journey we had a flat tyre which was replaced by what Jerry called his ‘blessed’ tyre, one that had got him from Vilanculos to Johannesburg and back twice.

I looked at it aghast, as I have seen much better on the rubbish dump, but be that as it may it did not let us down. What did was the brakes. Jerry turned to me as we were charging down the bush track and quite calmly informed me that we had no brakes.

The journey through the bush and across rivers was completed with me a gibbering wreck, but Jerry was very calm, he just said four words - ‘You’re in Africa now’ - we returned unladen very sedately. Amongst lots of other tasks I was asked to train the 56

local football team, who were very fit but not very tactically aware - the captain said they trained four times a week starting at 4.30. I said wasn’t it a bit hot at that time, he looked at me and said 4.30am! Anyway, we managed to get up early enough those mornings and drove down the sandy tracks to the very sandy pitch. They played their matches on a Sunday pm, so, after church, we all went to watch.

It then became very apparent why we had been asked to collect football kit and send it out because they played either in no boots or boots 5 sizes too big, in sandals or in bare feet. I told them there were approx 100 pairs of football boots (all sizes) football kits and new footballs arriving from the Lincoln area. It was very moving when they all burst into cheering and clapping and singing and asking me to thank the people who had donated the kits - it was very much needed, as football was about the only thing the local lads could do. (PS the boots and kit have now arrived and are in use!!) I add my thanks to theirs, your donations were really appreciated.

I finished off the 3 months building a wooden church in a village about 30km from Vilanculos, again very local woods.

Finally I taught English to about 6 of the football team.

Darren and Mandy, after sorting out the medicines that had been donated to Jerry and Gina into ‘useful’ and ‘out of date’, developed a training course for 7 local people who had been selected to run clinics in the local villages - this covered baby clinics, health education, fitness training and equipping the volunteers. Darren and Mandy drove around the villages helping and advising throughout the 3 months stay.

The mode of transport left something to be desired being an old white Landrover, again with no brakes, always needing to be pushed off, having been injected with fuel into the manifold - this sometimes was a little worrying when in the middle of the bush.

All in all, the four of us learnt a lot about the local culture, animals, insects, etc - 3 months that changed our lives.

John Boothby The village health clinics do cost money to sustain and CPA would be glad to receive and pass on any donations.

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A Busy Time At Beckside Pre-School Autumn term at Beckside was as busy as ever this year. Getting ready for Christmas is always a beautiful time with the children.

There are so many things to do, making Christmas cards and crackers, Christmas hats and calendars and would the crocuses the children planted in September start to flower in time to make presents?

But before all that we had the themes of Bonfire Night and Remembrance to work on. The children made some lovely firework pictures using foil, crepe paper and lots of coloured glitter. We displayed all their work and talked about the sounds that fireworks make, like whoosh, bang and whizz to help the children use their imagination.

For Remembrance, we talked about what it is like to remember someone who has done something kind or nice for us. Perhaps sometimes we give or buy flowers to say thank you. The British Legion had given us a box of poppies and the children brought in their pennies to buy a poppy. The collection box got heavier and heavier, but unforunately, over the weekend before Remembrance Day, someone stole the collection box from the building. We had to explain to the children that some people are so sad that they sometimes do very unkind things.

The annual Christmas party is always a tremendous event and once again we were overwhelmed at the generosity of the parents as the party food was arranged.

Robert Rae, the magician, worked his magic and made everyone laugh and wonder at his tricks (where does that rabbit come from?) The children sang their Christmas songs and waited for the arrival of the big man himself, Father Christmas.

He took time off to drop in and gave all the children a present and a big smile to keep them going until Christmas Day. So as we packed away and tidied up after the party we started getting the church ready for the next event on Monday morning, our Nativity Play.

The Beckside Pre-School Nativity Play was a truly magical event! This year we performed it, for the very first time, in All Saints Church. Every child had a very important part to play and had been working very hard rehearsing songs and practicing lines. Each and every one of

An angel helps the shepherds look for the stable - Sioned, Ben, Damon and Jack

Three little angels shining bright - Hannah, Melissa and Ellie

them looked beautiful in their costumes and I think it is true to say that there was not a dry eye in church as the children acted out the very first Christmas story. We served coffee and mince-pies afterwards and the donations amounted to £25. We matched this figure and we were able to give £50 to Gordon (the vicar) to give to the National Childrens Charity on behalf of everyone from Beckside Pre-School.

So now we are all looking forward to Spring Term and the new themes we will be covering with the children, like the changes in the weather that springtime brings, the Beckside Ducks, Pancake Day and that wonderful time of the year - Easter.

So it looks like we are in for another busy term. But that’s the wonderful thing about working with young children, each new term brings new experiences.

Just look at these faces! The children were fascinated as they watched the magician at the Christmas Party 57

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Essential Looks Hair & Beauty Studio Non surgical facials

An extensive range of hair and beauty treatments without travelling to town

Specialised hand and nail treatments

Ample free parking. Gift vouchers available.

Wedding hair and make-up specialists OPENING TIMES

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9.00 - 5.30 9.00 - 5.30 9.00 - 5.30 9.00 - 6.30 8.30 - 2.00

24 hour notice of cancellation is appreciated

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At your service for 21 years

2 1 2 KRYSTALS CHEMIST 1 R YEA

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NETTLEHAM

LINCOLN 751702

SUNITA SHINGDIA, MRPharmS

Your Pharmacist is always at hand to give you advice and information, in private if required, on a wide range of matters concerning your health and medication.

Being in the village gives us a unique privilege of knowing our customers personally and gives us a great advantage in helping you to choose appropriate over the counter medication as well as dispensing your prescriptions.

All the assistant staff are qualified Pharmacy Interact assistants.

We also pride ourselves in being able to offer a competitive range of Toiletries, Perfume, Cosmetics (Rimmel and Beauty Without Cruelty), Baby goods, Fancy Goods, Toys (including the full set of Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends) and much more.

Daily Developing and Printing service.

ALL MAJOR CREDIT AND DEBIT CARDS ACCEPTED

Your continued support is much appreciated to keep your chemist in the village.

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Looking After Your Pet How to Give a Pill to a Cat Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks, whilst holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop the pill into mouth and allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat on left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open, push pill to back of mouth with right finger and hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws, ignoring low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand, while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.

Slide pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a mental note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains.

Carefully sweep broken porcelain figures from hearth and carefully put to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large bath towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink glass of water to take nasty taste away. Apply plaster to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet.

(See page 52 for suggested method).

Retrieve cat from roof of neighbour’s shed.

Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon and flick pill down throat with the aid of an elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check medical records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one.

Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat’s front paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves in shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner and push pill into mouth, followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour half a pint of water down throat to wash down pill.

Get spouse to drive you to casualty and sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill fragments from eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order a new dining table.

Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and call pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

Golden Couple Wanted On Saturday 13 July 2002, the annual village carnival will once again take place on and around The Green.

If you and your partner are celebrating your Golden Wedding this year, will be available on Saturday 13 July and would like to be considered, please contact Joe Falloon, leader of the Nettleham Carnival Team on telephone 595863.

Since it is Golden Jubilee Year, the theme of the event is to be GOLD In keeping with this theme, Nettleham Carnival Team are seeking a married couple, who live in the village and who are celebrating their Golden Wedding Anniversary during the year, to officially open the Carnival on the day.

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Should more than one couple apply, the names will go into a hat and the first one drawn will be invited to perform the official opening of the carnival.

Don’t be modest enjoy being famous for a day!

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Creating Nettleham News I just love putting Nettleham News together every time a new edition comes around. There is something very satisfying about compiling all the very different material and assembling it into the magazine which you are reading now.

I always endeavour to make the pages as interesting and attractive as possible, given the limitations which are imposed upon me in terms of the printing process and costs.

In between the publishing of one edition and the next, I continue to receive a very welcome flow of new contributions from both individuals and organizations, all of which is carefully filed away in readiness for the next issue.

However, there are a number of regularly occurring problems which, if resolved, would make it an even more pleasurable task and would assist in creating even better pages for you, the reader, to enjoy.

The following guidelines are offered in the hope that it may assist you in preparing your next (or perhaps it may be your very first!) contribution to our village magazine.

TEXT In today’s world of home computers, I receive more and more items which are very professional in appearance, having been keyed in and printed out on a desktop printer. Having been put through your spell-checker (Oops! see page 25 of this edition) most really leave very little for me to do. I try not to change them too much - a wide variety of personal writing styles helps to keep the magazine lively and interesting!

But do please avoid the use of fancy fonts and coloured paper when you are printing out these pieces - my scanner does not like them at all!

Similarly, please don’t format the text

(ie set it in columns, use drop capitals or embed pictures in the wording), but simply type straight across the A4 sheet - the separation of paragraphs with line spaces being all that is required.

Oh, and finally, whilst we are on this topic, please make sure your ink cartridge or typewriter ribbon is up to the job - grey and/or fragmented text can be almost impossible to scan with any degree of success.

Of course, home computers usually mean access to email and many of you are now using this medium to send material for the magazine. This is fine by me, but may I just ask you to send the wording for the article as part of the email and not as a separate attachment (usually some form of Word document) which I frequently encounter difficulty with opening and translating for use on my system.

If it is just a straight email I can copy and paste without any trouble and in about a tenth of the time!

PICTURES Perhaps some of you can remember Nettleham News in the very early days when there were no pictures at all just page after page of text (actually done on a manual typewriter in good old Courier font!) with only a few advertisements to bring a bit of visual interest and variety to the publication.

Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, please write your name, address and telephone number in ball-point pen on the back of every picture. I always take the greatest care of photographs, but doing this will assist greatly in ensuring their safe return to you.

A good quality original photograph is always preferable to a computer-printed image, which is, of course, already third generation - having first been scanned and then printed out.

Cuttings out of other publications like newspapers are (quite apart from the copyright implications) of no real use for reproduction and will always give inferior results which will disappoint both other readers and yourself!

Again, with email, I receive images as attachment files. Fundamentally there is nothing wrong with this method, except that when I come to open most of them, I find they are very low resolution and about the size of a postage stamp!

This is adequate for viewing a website or email on-screen - the small size and low resolution enabling the file to be transmitted down a telephone line in very little time (thus keeping your telephone bill down!). However, enlarge this image file up to that required in the magazine and the details in the picture inevitably begin to break up.

Well, thankfully those days are long gone and now we enjoy numerous images on the pages, many submitted by readers themselves to accompany their articles. They really do add to our enjoyment and understanding (the old saying that a picture says a thousand words is still as true today as it ever was) and I am certain you would want them to look as good as possible.

The resolution and size required for an image which will reproduce well on a commercial printing press is much greater and would take quite a long time to send electronically (unless you have a very fast ISDN connection, which most of us haven’t!), so perhaps the best way is still with the original photograph for now. (With digital cameras becoming increasingly popular, I guess film processing will eventually disappear altogether!).

So, here are a few tips to assist you when you send pictures for inclusion in the magazine.

I hope I haven’t bored you too much!

Enjoy the magazine and do send something in to me very soon!

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NEW FREE BUS SERVICE for the residents of Nettleham www.asda.co.uk

ROUTE 4 WELTON - ASDA TIMETABLE (EVERY TUESDAY) Welton Prebend Lane

10.00

Welton Village Hall

10.02

Welton Roselea Avenue

10.03

Dunholme Post Office

10.05

Scothern Bottle & Glass

10.09

Nettleham Lodge Lane End

10.14

Nettleham The Green

10.15

Nettleham Greetwell Lane

10.17

North Greetwell Westfield Drive

10.20

North Greetwell Bunkers Hill

10.25

Glebe Park Montaigne Gardens

10.27

Glebe Park Harvest Moon

10.28

Glebe Park Nettleham Road

10.30

via Relief Road

SIMPLY BRING THE LEAFLET OR ADVERTISEMENT WITH YOUR SHOPPING TO THE CHECKOUT. OFFER EXCLUDES ASDA FUEL, CALLTIME, TRAVEL INSURANCE AND PET INSURANCE. ASK IN-STORE FOR DETAILS.

Newark Road, North Hykeham, Lincoln OPENING TIMES Mon - Fri: 8.00am - 10.00pm Saturday: 8.00am - 8.00pm Sunday: 10.00am - 4.00pm ALL PRODUCTS SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY

TIMETABLE CORRECT AT TIME OF PRINTING

ASDA ARRIVE

10.45

ASDA DEPART

12.00

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RISEHOLME PLANT CENTRE at Riseholme Park Access from Riseholme Lane between the A15 and A46

Your local plant centre for competitively priced summer and winter bedding, herbaceous plants, shrubs and trees, produced in Lincolnshire Also compost and ceramic pots Orders taken for hanging baskets and container planting Opening hours: Weekdays 9.00am to 5.00pm Saturday 9.00am to 5.00pm Sunday 10.00am to 4.00pm

Telephone: 01522 895348 or 07753 940981

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THE FALCONER

GREEN LIGHT

F R E E H O U S E

TAXIS Ken & Chris Taylor

Specialised Transport for Wheelchair Users

The new venue for the very best in wining & dining ● Serving the new menu Monday to Friday 11am - 3pm and 6pm - 9pm (Light snacks in between) ● Serving food all day Saturday 11am - 9pm ● Serving food all day Sunday & Bank Holidays 11am - 7pm

6/8 SEAT PRIVATE HIRE VEHICLES Telephone

01522 821 631 (answerphone)

07850 479 160 07957 987 721 07939 212 795

● Party bookings and private functions available (Conferences, Weddings, Anniversaries, Christenings, etc)

Book early for

MOTHERS’ DAY 10th MARCH EASTER SUNDAY 31st MARCH LIVE MUSIC Last Friday of every month: 29 March ● 26 April ● 31 May ● 28 June FLOODLIT DRIVING RANGE OPEN 8am - 9pm

Hackthorn Road Welton Lincoln LN2 3PD (Six miles north of Lincoln)

01673 861888