The Voice Adoption Supplement 2019

OCTOBER 2019

THE VOICE| 31

Culture. values. family.

Share more than your home – adopt.

Don’t write yourself off.

When it comes to adopters we welcome all enquiries and applications, regardless of sexuality, status, and background. In short: if you want to adopt, we want to hear from you.

Find out more today, call: 0300 369 0556

We believe it’s important that an adoptive family can promote a child’s ethnic, cultural, and religious background. It can make it easier to gel as a family, and helps a child establish their identity.

32 | THE VOICE OCTOBER 2019 32 | THE VOICE OCTOBER 2019

Adoption special

‘Please come forward’ There is a shortfall of adoptive parents from a BME background – and if you have time, patience and a loving home, you could be one of many to take a youngster in need under your wing

M

ORE PROSPECTIVE adopters from black and ethnic minority (BME) communities are urgently needed to address the current shortfall.

That’s one of the key messages of this year’s National Adoption Week (October 1418). So if you live in London or surrounding areas and have ever thought about becoming an adoptive parent, Coram Ambitious for Adoption would love to hear from you.

Children awaiting adoption have often experienced very difficult early experiences and losses.

They therefore need uncon-

ditional love and support to help them form positive attachments and thrive in life.

For this small group of children, adoption provides the most successful route to the long term stability and emotional security most children can thankfully take for granted.

Prospective adopters across London are urgently needed to come forward as the latest figures show that the number of approved adopters in the capital fell by 27 per cent yearon-year, and the gap between children waiting for adoption and approved adopters has doubled over the same period.

Sue Lowndes, managing director of Coram Ambitious for Adoption says: “We encour-

age enquiries from prospective adopters across a diverse range of backgrounds and

“We can teach our son about his heritage” communities in London and surrounding areas. The most important thing is that they are able to provide safe, secure and loving families for vulnerable children.”

Lowndes continues: “We

@thevoicenewspaper

A LOVING FAMILY: Many children in need of homes come from a challenging background, so stability and security is key – and Coram offer a huge range of services to make sure you are fully equipped to provide it

help to find adopters for children from different ethnic backgrounds, and focus on matching children with families who can respect and promote the child’s ethnicity, culture and identity.”

Veronica and David adopted their son Ethan through Coram in 2017 when he was 15 months old.

As black adoptive parents, they felt it was important to adopt a child of African or Caribbean descent so they would be best placed to understand and promote the child’s cultural heritage as they grew up.

Veronica said: “We feel very comfortable to teach our son about his heritage and are best placed to support him with any

@thevoicenews

voicenews

www.voice-online.co.uk

OCTOBER 2019 THE VOICE| 33 OCTOBER 2019 THE VOICE | 33

Adoption special challenges and issues. In our culture, adoption isn’t something that’s always considered.

I think we need to dispel myths around adoption.

“There are children who need a home and there are regular people out there ready to adopt.

“I think that’s something that everyone in our communities could resonate with. Ethan has completed our family and it’s about letting others know that they can have this experience, too.”

Coram provides support and training to adoptive families at every step of the process, and afterwards whenever it is needed.

This includes parenting skills training, ‘stay and play’ groups, life story book training, and art and music therapy to help adopted children.

The first step for anyone interested in adopting is to join one of Coram’s free adoption information events, which take place each month.

These give prospective adopters the opportunity to learn more about the adoption process and speak informally to staff, social workers and experienced adopters. Upcoming

events are taking place on October 16, November 5 and November 20, and places can be booked at coramadoption.org. uk/adoption-events.

Coram will also be hosting an Adoption Activity Day focused on BME children on October 19,

“I would encourage you to come to an event”

open to adopters already approved.

Adoption Activity Days are a supportive, safe environment for approved adopters to meet with children waiting to be adopted.

More details can be found at coramadoption.org.uk/adoptionevents.

Also during National Adoption Week, Coram will be sharing real-life stories, showing the many different types of adoptive families out there, de-bunking some of the myths surrounding adoption and releasing new vid-

eos with advice and information to help prospective adopters at every step of the way.

Lowndes says: “If you’re thinking about adoption this National Adoption Week, I would really encourage you to come to one of our information events, to learn more about the process, how we work and how we can support you as adopters.

You can also take a look at our Adoption Information Pack to get an idea of what to expect.

“I hope you’ll be encouraged

by Coram’s unique offer, our friendly and experienced team and the support and guidance we can give you throughout your journey to becoming a family and beyond.”

Coram Ambitious for Adoption is a Regional Adoption Agency, a partnership between leading voluntary adoption agency Coram and local authorities across Greater London, working to find permanent families for children. Find out more at coramadoption.org.uk.

32 | THE VOICE SEPTEMBER 26 - OCTOBER 24, 2019

John, a Nigerian actor, and Jane, a Ghanaian lawyer, who live in Croydon with their one year old adopted son Ivan, share their story.

We started trying for a baby in 2009 but by New Year’s Eve I was feeling despondent but my husband John said that 2010 would be our year. Little did we know that we were at the start of a nine and a half year journey to become parents.

Between 2010 and 2016 we had 10 rounds of IVF. We were lucky enough to get pregnant four times: two pregnancies ended in miscarriage very early; two resulted in second trimester losses.

At the end of 2016 I decided enough was enough; we had to find a new way to build our family. I was keen to consider adoption. John less so at first, because although he did want to adopt at some point in the future he felt more wedded to idea of having a biological child first. He was also concerned about being able to bond with a child who was not biologically his and of being rejected by that child.

We attended information meetings to find out more and, slowly, John became convinced it was right for us. The main change for him came at an open evening when he had the opportunity to speak with a male Asian adopter who was there to adopt for the second time! This calmed the concerns John had. John also begun to reflect on his own up bringing and realised he as a child was taken in and cared for by his Uncle. Therefore he felt it was only right he gave a child in need a loving home and great start to life. We looked at our relationship with nieces, nephews, and friends’ children and we decided that we could love an adopted child so we continued to do reading and research.

We registered our interest in April 2017 and the journey began. Stage One took eight weeks and, during this time, we filled out forms, attended training and carried on reading to better understand the journey our future child may have been on. We then had to take a six month break before starting Stage Two, which we found challenging because it put our journey on pause.

Stage Two involved a series of interviews with our social worker. Yes, some of the questions were intimate, but all were necessary in order to form a complete view of us. We were approved at panel in May 2018 then the search began for our child.

We went into the adoption process definitely wanting to adopt a black African child and yet our son is Caribbean.

The reality is that it has not been a problem for us. The moment we saw Ivan we knew he was our baby. The bond for both me and John was immediate and Ivan came home with us in January 2019. Fundamentally, he is a little baby that needs feeding and looking after and to us it doesn’t mater where he is from. Some members of the family were concerned about breaking the blood line, but he is here now and they are very happy for us.

Parenting Ivan has felt no different from parenting a birth child, we don’t really look at him as anything different.

The challenges are the same: sleepless nights, worrying about his development, dealing with teething and colds.

We were really fortunate that we were able to meet Ivan’s birth mother. That, together with the preparation training and post adoption support available we feel confident in managing the questions Ivan will have about his adoption as he gets older.

We already know we want to adopt again. Ideally we would like three children, but it’s still early days. If we were allowed to adopt straight away we would, however, there has to be a gap of two years. We will hope for miracles, and if that doesn’t work we would definitely adopt again.

Our adoption journey has been amazing, yes there were tough bits on the way, but now that we have a child, we are looking at the whole experience through a different lens.

Join our adoption community call Adopt London South today on 020 7525 1746

SEPTEMBER 26 - OCTOBER 24, 2019

Adopt a child with us Adopt London South is the new Regional Adoption Agency that covers South London. We are recruiting and have children from all backgrounds waiting to be adopted. ➜ We run a bi-monthly transracial adopters support group in South London ➜ We produce a newsletter for Black, Minority Ethnic and Transracial Adopters three times a year ➜ We host an annual Black, Minority Ethnic and Transracial Adopters Peers Support Party each year in South London ➜ We deliver monthly adoption support groups across South London

We have a range of adoption information sessions and drop-ins across South London for you to attend.

These are a great way to find out more about adoption.

➜ Visit our website to get more information. adoptlondon.org.uk 020 7525 1746 south@adoptlondon.org.uk

THE VOICE| 33

36 | THE VOICE SEPTEMBER 26 - OCTOBER 24, 2019

These active and affectionate children need ‘forever families’ Could their futures start with you?

‘Hello! I love playing outdoors’

Kyle Kyle is an affectionate, energetic threeyear-old who loves spending time outside where he can ride his scooter, run around and let off steam. Indoors he enjoys Lego, his train set, cars and trucks. He also likes creative and imaginative play – dressing up and arts and crafts are two of his favourites. And for quiet time he adores snuggling up to watch Disney films.

Kyle enjoys the company of other children and plays well with his carers’ younger daughter. He sometimes forgets he’s bigger when playing excitedly, but is very caring towards her. He looks up to older

children and tries to copy their behaviour, this has been a really positive influence for him.

Born in the UK, Kyle is dual heritage White British and Black African.

Physically he is a healthy child and meeting his milestones. He is learning to try new foods and developing his own tastes with guidance from his foster carer.

Kyle has experienced significant loss so he needs patient and fun-loving parents who can offer him the security he craves.

You would need to support him to

build trusting relationships and provide opportunities for him to progress his cognitive and speech development.

He responds well to routines and consistency which offer him the security he requires, therefore a family who enjoy structure would support this. You would also need to be willing to support Kyle with ongoing contact with his sisters, at least by anonymized letters annually.

Despite his difficult start in life, Kyle is an enquiring, affectionate child with lots of bounce; could you offer him the home he deserves?

Will you be my family?

We are seeking a warm, stable and energetic family who live outside the Reading area and who can support Kyle to develop to his full potential and grow up to be confident in his future life.

Whether or not you are already an approved adopter, we would like to hear from you.

If you think you could offer Kyle a home, please call 01865 897050 (option 2 for Woodley) now and talk to Sue Beale or Jo Neale

‘I love to try new things’ ‘Hello! I like to dress up, to dance and to draw’

Adopt Thames Valley

VOICEATV2

needs YOU!

Here at Adopt Thames Valley children from black, Asian and minority ethnic backgrounds often wait far longer than other children to be adopted.

Part of the reason for this delay is a shortage of adopters who have understanding and experience of these cultural backgrounds.

If you would like to learn how you could grow your family through adoption and the support we offer throughout the journey, call 0800 731 0171 and chat to our friendly Enquiry Officer Karen. We welcome all enquiries and applications, regardless of sexuality, status, background. In short: if you want to adopt, we want to hear from you.

Adoption. It’s a journey worth making.

Georgia and Thomas Georgia and Thomas are five-year-old twins who are longing for an adoptive family. They are very fond of each other and love playing games together. Thomas is very active and loves spending time outside, especially climbing, riding his bike and playing on the swings or slide. Georgia is more thoughtful and loves to dance and sing and draw.

Born in the UK, they are dual heritage White British and Black Polynesian.

The twins both attend school and are fit and healthy. Georgia previously had support for her speech and language, but she has made great progress and is now a little chatterbox!

A child’s future starts wit h you

Happy and inquisitive, Thomas sees the fun in every activity and has a real zest for life. He is fearless and courageous and loves to try new things. Your home would be full of laughter with Thomas around! He loves playing with his sister or with friends at school, but he will also happily sit and play on his own quietly. He enjoys playing with toy cars and Lego and can remain absorbed in this activity for some time.

Georgia is a happy and sociable little girl, who loves to dress up in pretty clothes and to have her hair brushed and braided.

She looks to her brother for support and encouragement when faced with new activities. Her vocabulary is increasing all of the time and she likes to talk about things she enjoys.

Thomas and Georgia lived with their birth mother for the first four years of their lives but their care was erratic and inconsistent.

As well as experiencing significant neglect, they also witnessed domestic violence.

Despite this, they are happy and sociable children who bring a lot of fun.

Could you now offer them the safe and loving home in which they can flourish?

Could you be our family?

We are seeking a warm and nurturing two-parent adoptive family who can support these two delightful children to develop to their full potential and grow up to be confident in their future lives. Living outside the Swindon area, ideally you will have no other children but a family who do have older children will be considered.

We would like to hear from you, whether or not you are already an approved adopter.

If you think you could offer Georgia and Thomas home, please call 01865 897050 (option 3 for Oxford and Swindon) now and talk to Hannah Ferry or Katie Woollard

www.adoptthamesvalley.co.uk