August/September 2023 Valley Parent

Valley

Parent YOU R LO CA L PA R E N T I N G R ESOU R C E

B E R E A DY F O R YO U R

ParentTeacher Conference MEET MCSD’S

TEACHER of the YEAR

FREE September 2022

Valley

Parent 2 P A R E N T Parent

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ased on the photos our readers sent us, it looks like our Valley Parent readers fully embraced the break from school. Lots of you went to the gorgeous beaches that are just a few hours’ drive away. Some of you enjoyed the pools and splash pads close by and others spent their days at America’s favorite past time—baseball. However you used your time off, I hope you spent it making memories with your loved ones. But, you don’t have to travel to do that. It could be a family game night, a backyard cookout or watching a beloved movie. Any time together, is time well spent.

As summer winds down, it’s time to turn our attention to the approaching school year. To that end, we bring you an in-depth interview with this year’s Muscogee County School District Teacher of the Year Vanessa Ellis. Ellis teaches 8th graders Georgia Studies at Veterans Memorial Middle School. She’s the product of a proud community, attending school from kindergarten through college right here in Columbus. She’s married to Oliver Ellis, a teacher at Rainey-McCullers School of the Arts, so you know that education is top of mind in their home.

Ellis shares with our writer Janet Burden her insights on how to ignite a spark in students and how parents can encourage that spark. She speaks candidly about what impact—mostly positive—that the pandemic has had on our schools, students and the way subject matter can be delivered. She addresses the changes that technology advances have made and is quick to point out that they aren’t all good.

Please spend a few minutes with this article and I think you’ll come away with some practical ways that you can support your child’s education, whether or not he or she is fortunate enough to have Vanessa Ellis as a teacher.

It’s been a while, but I can still remember that feeling in the pit of my stomach when the end of the first grading period arrived, and it was time for the first Parent-Teacher Conference of the year. Tanni Haas’ article on page nine, will give you questions to ask your child’s teacher about topics from academics, behavior and social interaction with classmates to how the teacher prefers to be contacted. She’s included some items that you may want to take with you to the conference, especially if this is your child’s first year at that school. This will give the teacher some valuable history about your child’s strengths and challenges in previous years. Give this a read, and you’ll be ready to get the most from your meeting.

I hope this back-to-school issue helps all of our Valley Parent families have the best school year ever. Thanks for being a reader and for supporting our advertisers who make this free publication possible.

Editors/Publishers MIKE VENABLE & JILL TIGNER mike@columbusandthevalley.com jill@columbusandthevalley.com

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A F F I R M AT I V E PA R E N T I N G

Living with Children Q: When I discipline my 7-year-old daughter by taking away a privilege because she disobeys, she sometimes yells, “I hate you!” Should I tolerate her disrespect or punish her for it?

A: Contrary to public opinion, “I hate you!” is not disrespect. “You’re a dummy!” is disrespect. Notice the difference in subjects. The former statement begins with “I.” It refers, therefore, to the child’s feelings. The latter begins with “You.” It refers, therefore, to the parent. These deserve two entirely different responses.

A truly disrespectful remark may deserve punishment, but concerning a child who screams, “I hate you!” at a parent, the parent should simply say, “You know, if I was you, I’d probably hate me too right now. That’s fine, but it’s obvious that you need a private moment, so you might want to consider going to your room to calm down. If you need help getting there, I will gladly provide it.” That is an example of what I call “parenting ju-jitsu.”

Q: We let our 14-year-old daughter wear eyeliner this past year, but she is wearing entirely too much. She is well adjusted (plays sports, good grades), but seems insecure to go out in public without her make-up. When we tell her she looks prettier without it, she becomes defensive. Should we lighten up?

A: Your daughter is at an age where peer approval is more important than just about anything else (certainly approval from you) and wearing makeup is a ticket to that approval. That’s unfortunate, but in childrearing as in every other area of life, it is sometimes necessary to make compromises. Parents should always keep in mind that one can win a battle and still lose the war.

So long as all is well otherwise, and it obviously is, I’d back off on the eyeliner issue.

Sometimes, giving a child an inch, or even several, will prevent full-blown rebellion.

Continue, however, to look for signs that she is on a slippery slope and be prepared to set some boundaries.

To further defuse this potentially explosive issue, I recommend that you arrange an appointment for your daughter with a beauty consultant who can teach her how to use makeup in a sparing, attractive manner.

by John Rosemond, PhD

the family? This may be counterintuitive, but for disturbances of the family’s peace, I recommend that you put all three boys—and yes, even if only two are directly involved—in the half-bath (aka, “powder room”) for thirty excruciating minutes.

I virtually guarantee that while taking a powder in the powder room will not stop your son’s Alpha Male Child behavior, the boys will quickly learn that avoiding mutual confinement requires that they maintain their conflict at a low volume, which is really all you can realistically hope for under the circumstances. They will work it out, but in their time rather than yours. vp Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, parentguru.com.

Copyright 2022, John K. Rosemond

Q: Our eight-year-old, the oldest of three, is often rude to his siblings. I know some sibling conflict is normal, but this seems excessive. I hear him multiple times per day tell his younger brothers how annoying they are. In addition, he often yells at them to stop whatever they are doing that he doesn’t like. We’ve asked him to stop berating and yelling at them and have him rephrase his disrespectful words, but his disrespect doesn’t seem to be improving and it’s beginning to drive us up the wall. Thanks for any advice you can give us.

A: Your description causes me to believe that your oldest is merely establishing and constantly reminding his younger brothers that he, and he only, is the Alpha Male Child; that he is their Superior in all matters and they are expected to always and without question do as he commands. Ironically, however, he must also establish that they are completely incompetent to properly do anything he commands; therefore, he must constantly correct and berate like a stereotypical Marine Drill Instructor.

Dispel any worry you may be having over the possibility that your older son’s Alpha Male Child behavior toward his underlings is going to scar them psychologically. First, it is my belief that at some point in his life, every male needs a Marine Drill Instructor. Second, you’re describing normal boy behavior that will eventually run its course. By the time your eldest is a teenager, the likelihood is significant that his younger brothers will idolize him.

Meanwhile, the question begs: What, pray tell, should you do when your oldest son’s Alpha Male Child, Marine Drill Instructor behavior becomes disruptive to the peace of SEPTEMBER 2022 | Valley Parent

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Aug./Sep. 2022

VOLUME 17 NO. 4

D E PA R T M E N T S John Rosemond

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Birthday Party Guide

5

Family Fun Calendar

12

Valley Parent Locations

12

Valley Smiles

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F E AT U R E S Vanessa Ellis: MCSD’s Teacher of the Year

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Ellis shares advice on keeping the spark to learn burning.

Parent-Teacher Conferences

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Documents to Bring and Questions to Ask

ON THE COVER

On th

e Go?

Read every Valley Pa rent wher mobi e on your le de vices .

Joshua Duncan 4, is ready for his first day of school. He is the son of Brittany and Andrew Duncan of Columbus photos by Ritchie White Photography 2

Valley Parent | SEPTEMBER 2022

Classroom & Life Lessons FROM THE 2022 MCSD TEACHER OF THE YEAR Who is Vanessa Ellis and how does she keep Muscogee County students’ spark to learn burning?

by Janet Burden

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he past few years have taught educator Vanessa Ellis a thing or two about the importance of being flexible. Prompted by 2020’s COVID-19 pandemic, classrooms shifted from in-person to virtual to hybrid and then back to in-person. Through it all, Ellis did what she does best: Seize the chaos and redirect it to create lasting improvements. Given her success, it’s no wonder the Muscogee Educational Excellence Foundation recognized her as Muscogee County School District 2022 Teacher of the Year during its May 5 gala.

Recently the Veterans Memorial Middle School educator took a moment to reflect on how she ignites Muscogee County students’ desire to learn.

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What does a student’s spark look like and how can parents and guardians fan it?

A student’s spark to learn and excel looks like intense and sustained interest in something. It looks like enjoyment while engaging in the task. The spark is often a personal connection or a compelling intrigue to what students are learning.

Parents and guardians can fan that spark by having a genuine interest in students’ school experiences. When parents and guardians encourage and reward progress over perfection and growth over grades, students feel comfortable taking risks rather than being scared to fail.

Parents and guardians can also encourage students by buying them books, signing them up for classes, putting them in contact with experts or taking them to the places they are interested in.

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Valley Parent | SEPTEMBER 2022

What positive effect did you derive from the changes made necessary by the pandemic?

I am proud of the way I handled hybrid (based on parent choice) teaching during the 2020-2021 school year. I did not want to neglect my virtual students in favor of my in-person ones or vice versa. I strove to make my virtual spaces as warm, welcoming and inclusive as my physical classroom. We built relationships on grace and understanding. Students had to come to class during a global pandemic and at a time of social and political unrest. Some days, students loved coming to my class.

Other days, they just couldn’t manage.

Students appreciated my flexibility and usually got right back on course after having time to readjust.

What ignited YOU? I knew from a young age I wanted to be a teacher. I helped my younger brothers with homework and taught them basic life skills such as how to tie their shoes and how to play with others. In the summers, my family would fly to Jamaica, where I was born, to teach vacation Bible school to rural children. My parents saw that spark in me from a young age and gave me a platform to change lives in my home country. I tutored my friends who were “too cool” to ask the teacher for help but who felt safe and secure asking me. Teaching has been my passion for as long as I can remember. I was born to be an educator.

What classroom experience has warmed your heart?

After 11 years of teaching, there are so many things that have warmed my heart,

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My parents saw that spark in me from a young age and gave me a platform to change lives in my home country.”

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but here’s a recent example. Veterans Memorial Middle School has an English for Speakers of Other Languages program. This is the first year I taught students whose primary language is not English. One student from Vietnam came to us speaking little English and went through a silent period while he acclimated to American culture and our school system. I worked hard to make sure my classroom was a welcoming and loving space for ALL students and, as a result, this student flourished in social studies. He went from being shy and quiet to raising his hand, participating in group work and presenting in front of the class.

He would greet me in the hallway, teach me Vietnamese greetings and stay for tutoring to get extra help when needed. On the last day of school, he sent me an Instagram message to thank me. Although not grammatically perfect, it perfectly conveyed his meaning and still makes me tear up.

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Lessons Learned

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Valley Parent | SEPTEMBER 2022

How has education changed since you began teaching?

A positive change in education would be technological developments that enhance learning—reading programs, virtual learning experience, read-aloud and text-to-speech functions, to name a few. Technology helps make access to education more equitable so that students can get the resources and support they need.

A negative change in education would be the technology that distracts from learning—cell phones, online games and irrelevant videos on YouTube, for example. Teachers are constantly vying for students’ attention and many do not have the self-control to willingly close out the distractions and engage with their assignments.

Vanessa Ellis AT A GLANCE

What alternative subjects and habits sharpen learning skills?

Students can be very successful in school and in life using executive function skills. Executive function skills are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions and juggle multiple tasks successfully.

Many students are lacking these skills and some teachers aren’t explicitly teaching kids how to cultivate them. When students learn and master these skills, they can apply them to all areas of their life—academic, extracurricular and relationships.

Students also need to strengthen their habits of mind.

When students commit to growing habits such as persistence, striving for accuracy, listening to understand, communicating clearly, problem-solving and being able to laugh at themselves, for example, they become more thoughtful, responsive and innovative. These habits will help them now and in the future.

What is your wish for your students?

I hope that students will always realize the importance of history in our lives and will use what they learned in my class to be good humans and responsible citizens.

What would you tell young people considering entering the education field?

I would tell young people that we NEED them in the field of education. We need their passion, innovation and diversity to reach students. I would have them reflect on what school was like when they were students and tell them they have the power to change or enhance that experience for future youth.

Teachers are essential to helping shape ethical citizens who are not indifferent to the sufferings of others or to the

Ellis began her life in Kingston, Jamaica, where she was the oldest of seven children—and the only girl. She credits living in poverty there with shaping her work ethic and resolve to become her family’s first college graduate. After briefly living in Sarasota, Florida, the family relocated to Columbus in 1999 for her father’s work.

Ellis attended Dawson Elementary School, Rothschild Middle School, Jordan Vocational High School and Columbus State University. She has since received a master’s degree in history education from Columbus State University and certification to teach 6-12 U.S. History, World History and Political Science with endorsements in Gifted Education and English for Speakers of Other Languages.

She teaches eighth-grade Georgia Studies at Veterans Memorial Middle School.

Ellis’ drive to succeed has earned her not only top grades, full-time teaching positions, and recognition, it’s taught her an important lesson about work-life balance: Establishing a healthy work-life balance is essential for enjoying life as it happens.

Married in 2014, Ellis met her husband, Oliver, in Columbus.

Through the years, they’ve depended on one another for strength, inspiration and learning. In 2015, as one of the top three finalists for the Muscogee County School District Teacher of the Year, Oliver described his wife as a “rock-star teacher.” Now, it’s Ellis who credits Oliver, a teacher at Rainey-McCullers School of the Arts, for much of the success she’s experienced, whether by bolstering her understanding of the purpose and uses of data or by inspiring her to create such learning devices as content-based games and educational raps.

They are the parents of Xavier (17), Maverick (7) and Phoenix (2).

SEPTEMBER 2022 | Valley Parent

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violation of civil or human rights. It’s our responsibility to help young people appreciate, protect and defend our democratic institutions and values.

How do you want to be remembered?

Someone once told me that the true measure of an educator is the impact they have on students. I would hope that I am remembered for how much I loved and supported my students. How I made learning fun and accessible for all learners. How I worked hard to provide the best education for my students by reading education books, attending professional development workshops and networking with other teachers across the district, Georgia and United States. I hope that I am remembered fondly by former students, parents and colleagues.

I also hope to be remembered for my contributions to my school, school district and the field of education at large. I am always seeking ways to give back to education by leading professional development sessions, mentoring teachers and getting outside funding to pay for educational projects. Ultimately, I want to be remembered for how much I love teaching and how hard I work in this profession.

When the COVID-19 pandemic changed—often

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Valley Parent | SEPTEMBER 2022

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Teachers are essential to helping shape ethical citizens who are not indifferent to the sufferings of others or to the violation of civil or human rights.”

overnight—the norm, Ellis focused on the positive. Never deterred from her mission to provide Muscogee County students with the highest quality education, she continues to empower students and remains the kind of teacher all parents and guardians want for their children. vp

r e h c a e T t n e r s a e P c n e r e f n Co

by Tanni Haas

DOCUMENTS TO BRING & QUESTIONS TO ASK

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arent-teacher conferences are one of the best ways to communicate with your kids’ teachers about how they’re doing at school. But what’s the best way to prepare for these conferences? Based on the advice of such well-respected institutions as the National Parent Teacher Association, the National Education Association and the Family Research Project at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, I’ve compiled a list of important documents to bring and questions to ask.

SEPTEMBER 2022 | Valley Parent

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Documents to Bring > REPORT CARDS FROM PREVIOUS SCHOOL YEARS

This gives teachers a broad understanding of how your kids have been doing academically so far. It’s especially important to bring report cards if your kids recently changed schools and/or are doing worse academically than in previous years. > TEST SCORES

This gives teachers a good sense of whether your kids are thriving or struggling as test-takers. It’s especially important to bring test scores if your kids attend schools that place emphasis on such scores; teachers may be able to share useful test-taking strategies with you. > HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS

Bring examples of homework assignments that your kids had an easy and a difficult time with, spent little and a lot of time on. This gives teachers a nuanced understanding of your kids’ abilities when it comes to completing assignments on their own. > HEALTH FORMS

Bring documentation for any health-related issues that already have or could affect your kids’ learning, such as asthma, diabetes or serious migraines. This helps teachers better understand why your kids sometimes need certain accommodations.

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Valley Parent | SEPTEMBER 2022

Questions to Ask > HOW ARE MY KIDS DOING ACADEMICALLY?

Ask questions about how your kids are doing overall, relative to other kids in the class, and in terms of any standards they’re supposed to reach. Also ask questions about how they’re doing on tests, in-class projects and homework assignments, whether they ask questions when they don’t understand something, whether there are any areas in need of improvement and how they should go about making those improvements. > WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM MY KIDS IN THE COMING SCHOOL YEAR?

Ask questions about what your kids are expected to accomplish in the coming school year, which assignments they’ll get to determine whether they’re living up to those expectations, and how those assignments will be assessed (specific benchmarks, standardized tests, grading criteria). Also ask how your kids can best organize their time and what you can do to support them in their learning at home.

Or do they tend to disrupt the classroom by disturbing other kids? Also ask questions about how they’re doing socially with other kids? Are they thriving and having lots of friends or do they tend to be isolated and keep to themselves? > WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU PREFER TO HAVE WITH PARENTS?

Ask questions about what kind of relationship your kids’ teachers would like to have with you going forward. Do they want to stay in contact with you on a regular basis or only in emergencies?

Do they prefer face-to-face, phone or email conversations? How will they keep you informed about your kids’ progress? Is there anything they’d like you to do before the next scheduled parentteacher conference? vp

> HOW ARE MY KIDS DOING BEHAVIORALLY AND SOCIALLY?

Ask questions about your kid’s behavior in the classroom. Are they participating constructively in class discussions, talking when they should do that and listening when that’s appropriate?

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Calendar AUGUST 6-27 Toddler Time at Launch Trampoline Park

Every Saturday morning from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., toddlers can jump to their hearts content. This deal is good for children (ages 5 and under ONLY) and one adult to jump for the whole two hours. Launch Trampoline socks are required for all jumpers.

Cost: $10 Info: LaunchTrampolinePark.com/columbus

12 & 26 Homeschool Friday: Rock Climbing at Treadstone Gym

Every second and fourth Friday of each month, from 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m., is dedicated to home schoolers and family.

Take advantage of this two-hour block for only $10 including gear.

Info: TreadstoneClimbing.com

20 Great Georgia Pollinator Count with Oxbow Meadows

Join Oxbow for this fun, free citizen science day. All ages can join in the fun of being a citizen scientist.

Info: TGgapc.org

28 Toy and Comic Book Show at the Coca-Cola Space Science Center

Browse the quality vendors and crafters while also taking a flight on the Space Odyssey Shuttle and exploring the many exhibits the science center offers.

Cost: $6 each or $20 for a family four pack

SEPTEMBER 2 Labor Day Weekend at Callaway Gardens

Light up your Labor Day with a three-day celebration at Callaway. Stay and play all day with garden and beach access, food and drink specials and holiday merchandise.

The gardens transform each night with the extraordinary Hot Air Balloon Glow, where balloons illuminate Robin Lake Beach, and then fireworks take over the sky. Surrounded by their spectacular scenery, this is one memorable way to welcome September.

Info: CallawayGardens.com

5 Labor Day Mini Camp at the NIM

The museum offers mini-camps throughout the year for children interested in learning more about our nation’s history. Mini-camps are open to ages 5-11. Camp takes place from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Cost: $10 each Info: NationalInfantryMuseum.org/nim-kids

30 Look Forward: The Ruby Bridges Story at the Springer Opera House

This is the true story of the extraordinary 6-year-old who helped shape history when she became the very first African-American sent to first grade in an all-white school changing America forever. Set in New Orleans in 1960, Ruby eventually befriends students and teachers and lives out a faith that tells her to stand firm. Look at the world through Ruby’s eyes and discover the true promise of America.

Cost and Info: SpringerOperaHouse.org

See more local events at ValleyParent.com 12

Valley Parent | SEPTEMBER 2022

Valley

Parent YOU R LOCAL PARE N TI N G RES OU RCE

B E R E A DY F O R YO U R

ParentTeacher Conference

FREE September 2022

Pick up your copy of the latest Valley Parent at one of these convenient locations:

MEET MCSD’S

TEACHER of the YEAR

Academy Dance Center Acute Care Express All About Kids Learning Center Devica Alappan, MD Angel Academy Aranas & Stitt, OB/GYN Bare Ware Pottery Basilio Pediatrics Behavioral Health Partners Bluebelle Artist Market The Blushing Brunette Boutique Julie Braddy-Roberts, MD Regina Carpenter, MD Center Pharmacy Central Christian Church Central OBGYN Chambers OB/GYN Ritu Chandra, MD Chick-fil-a Bradley Park Childcare Network (Hamilton Rd) Clement Arts Columbus Children’s Dentistry Columbus Clinic Columbus Museum Columbus Pediatrics Columbus Public Library Columbus Regional Family Practice Columbus Roberts Center CSU Elizabeth Bradley Turner Ctr. Curves for Women (Phenix City) Curves for Women (Veterans) Dinglewood Pharmacy Divine Childcare Learning Ctr. James Dorchak, MD Easter Seals Miranda Y. Edwards, MD Fairview Baptist Preschool The Family Center Family Physicians of Columbus First Baptist Church Child Dev./PC Foot & Ankle of West Ga. Fort Benning Housing Services Fountain City Coffee Generations Knowledge & Care Ctr. Goo Goo Car Wash (Manchester Exp) Great Beginnings Child Care Greystone Falls Greystone at Columbus Park Greystone Inverness Growing Room Growing Room Too Hollywood Connection Imagination Station

Imagination Station Too International Friendship Ministries Joyful Journeys Childcare Just for Kids Kool Smiles Blake Lane, Orthodontist Mark Lawrence, DDS La Bella Party and Tea Lil’ Rascals Resale & Boutique Little Angels Child Dev. Ctr. Little Paws Preschool James Lopez, DMD Thomas Malone, MD Mathnasium Mica’s Child Development Ctr. Mickayla’s Place Midtown Medical Center Midtown OBGYN Mildred L. Terry Library My Gym Necco Foster Care North Columbus Library Northside Recreation Center OBGYN Associates Lirio E. Palmos, MD Panvelkar & Panvelkar, MD Pastoral Institute Pediatric Rehab Pediatrics at Brookstone Ctr. Phenix City-Russell County Library Pierce Chapel Methodist Preschool Polka-Dots Early Childhood Dev. Ctr. Preppy Pets Project Launch Puddle Jumpers Child Enrichment Ctr. Rising Star Child Development Ctr. Rivertown Pediatrics Russell County DHR Second Avenue Animal Hospital Jeffrey Serff, DMD Smiths Station Baptist Church Smiths Station Pharmacy St. John AME Church St. Luke Early Learning Ctr. St. Mark UMC Child Dev. Ctr. Lisa Alexander Strickland, DMD Summerville Baptist Preschool Sylvan Learning Center Nora Tan-Ngo, MD Toni’s Dancing Studio TSYS Childcare Center Uptown Pediatrics West Georgia Pediatrics Wynnton UMC Pre-school ZÖe Pediatrics

Distribution sites committed at press time.

Valley Smiles Send your photos and captions to ContactUs@ValleyParent.com.

Graves and Wells Dillon took a break from the Splash Pad in Uptown.

Olivia Martin, 3, was excited about the red, white and blue cookies at her family’s 4th of July celebration.

Chloe Garcia, 13, introduced her baby brother River Smith to the beach at Destin.

Cousins Lillie Rivera, 7, Hamp Land, 2, and Reaves Land, 1, spent time together on their family beach trip this summer.

Ruby Turner, 1, was decked out in her sun gear at her family beach trip.

Cayden Dimitri, 12, recently finished the baseball season playing for the Harris County 12U Little League All Star team that won the District 8 championship.

He is a rising 7th Grader at St. Luke School.

SEPTEMBER 2022 | Valley Parent

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