8-Opinion
8 Lone Tree Voice
June 13, 2013
opinions / yours and ours
Happy Father’s Day from an imperfect dad This past year has been very enlightening for me as I look back over the past 12 months and remember how I reacted or responded to the trivial as well as the major challenges and opportunities presented to me by my children. Some may argue that the larger issues or problems are still really just small or trivial in most cases and just blown out of proportion by an over-reactive father or parent. And I would have to plead guilty as charged. And as I recall conversations with other parents over the past year I have been reminded that it’s not just my children who get into trouble or make mistakes, it seems as though we have raised an entire generation of trouble-seeking and mistake-prone children as my friends and neighbors all share similar stories. That old saying, “misery loves company,” could apply here, but I really have found no comfort in thinking about it that way.
I love my children dearly, and I would have to agree that in most cases I could have responded better instead of over-reacting and making things worse or underreacting and not doing enough. The life lesson in this for me is to learn how to take the time to respond instead of react. I know they sound very similar and some would say that they mean the very same thing. The difference, I believe, is found in the way we think about each word.
question of the week
How do you travel with kids or pets? Colorado Community Media asked four people in the Arapahoe Lake neighbor-
hood for their best tip on traveling by car or plane with kids or pets.
“Entertainment. Entertainment. Entertainment. And keep it charged.” — Elizabeth Price, Englewood
“I try to make sure we’re all prepared before we even leave the house. Everyone is fed, has all their stuff … and then I pack blankets, pillows, snacks and water.” — Jodi Page, Englewood
“Be aware of the temperature inside the car. … If you have to stop, make it brief, park in the shade, crack the window and always have fresh water for the animal.” — Jody Schmidt, Lone Tree
“I don’t really travel with my pets, but I do think it’s important to always leave them in good, dependable hands and with someone you trust.” — Mark Wienckowski, Wautoma, Wis.
That’s not what I’m talking about I have no idea when “I have no idea” replaced “I’m not sure.” Most of the time when we say we have no idea we do have an idea, but “I’m not sure” is simply not as melodramatic. All I know is that I am tired of hearing “I have no idea.” I am at the end of my rope. I am at my wits’ end. It has become another “overly conventionalized linguistic expression,” and nearly a cliché by now. Most things that are said, you know, over and over become annoying, at least to a few of us who listen when someone is talking. What would you think of anyone other than Rodney Dangerfield who started every thought with “I have no idea”? Rodney could get away with it, because he would tug at his necktie, jerk his head, and say, “I was so ugly when I was born that the doctor slapped my mother.” Elocution has gone the way of handwriting. Most of us no talk so good no more. We get by, because it’s no longer expected to be any better. Ah, but when it occurs it can be wonderful. There are some things that are said over and over that I never get tired of hearing. For one, “I love you.” Unless it’s from Mr. Holly Martins in area rugs. We resort to clichés because they are familiar, handy, and readily understood. Few of us have a gift for making ourselves understood without them. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s one of them right there. It was somewhat clever 10 years ago. Now it’s a nuisance. The French gave us the word “cliché.” It comes from typesetting, and the reuse of single slug of metal for phrases that were used repeatedly. “A cliché is often a vivid depiction of an abstraction that relies upon analogy or exaggeration for effect, often drawn from everyday experience,” a Wikipedia entry says. “Used sparingly, they may succeed, however, the use of a cliché in writing or speech is generally considered a mark of
inexperience or a lack of originality.” It’s not rocket surgery. It’s been a hard day’s night. Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. See? Clichés and other phrases can be turned around, inverted, and even made into a malaprop (another column). Shakespeare referred to the “comprehension of two auspicious characters.” There is a song, “Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood,” and few of us want to be misunderstood, so it’s much easier to speak the tried and true (like “tried and true”) than to go out on a limb (there’s another) and offer something obtuse. But it can be fun when you connect, and the more you try to connect the dots (another) the better your chances are. You can’t win if you don’t play, although Fran Lebowitz said she has the same chances of winning the lottery whether she plays or not. I once quoted Wayne Gretzky at an AA meeting, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take,” and later thought that was a mistake. Words and phrases sometimes cross over from our occasional use to habitual use, and some of us don’t even know it, or seem to mind, that they can be mindnumbing. If I hear the word “transparency” one more time, applied to the IRS, for example, I will have an ax to grind. But it occurred to me that it might be kind of nice to be the father of a cliché, to Smith continues on Page 11
If we were to get sick and our doctor prescribed a medication that caused us to break out in a rash or some other side effect, it could be said that we are having a “negative reaction” to the medication. Conversely, if we were prescribed that same medication and started improving immediately, we would say we were “responding favorably” to the medication. And as a dad, I can look back over the past 12 months as well as an entire lifetime and remember all the little mistakes and huge errors I have made. And thankfully my children have not over-reacted, they have simply responded and loved me and forgiven me in the same way that I have loved and forgiven them. That is the wonderful thing about forgiveness, it goes both ways, and it goes such a long way in building and sustaining loving relationships with our family and friends. And forgiveness costs us nothing when we give it, but costs us everything
when we withhold it. If you are one of those dads or parents that I have spoken with or exchanged emails with or that just feels like you have had a brutally tough year with a noncompliant child, trouble-attracting teen, or mistake-magnet kid, just remember that as big as each of those challenges seem, at the end of the day they are all just trivial. And it’s not about how we react, it is how we choose to respond, love and forgive that will be the difference-maker in all of our relationships. Happy Father’s Day! I would love to hear all about how your Father’s Day weekend goes at gotonorton@gmail.com, and let’s respond our way to a better than good week. Michael Norton, a resident of Highlands Ranch, is the former president of the Zig Ziglar organization and CEO and founder of www.candogo.com
Littleton provides vibrant model For my entire life, I have called the Greater Littleton Community home. Before the strip malls and the incorporation of other parts of Arapahoe County, before even the idea of Highlands Ranch, thousands of us were going to church, shopping and living in Littleton. Some of my fondest memories include fishing with my father at Sterne and Ketring Parks, walking in the homecoming parade, and graduating from Littleton High School where my daughters now attend school. When first elected as an Arapahoe County commissioner, I drove by the original, historic county courthouse (where I received a curfew ticket as a teenager) on my way to be sworn in at the County Administration Building in Littleton, the county seat. I learned that the county owned the then-vacant building, so I asked about the history of the building and took a tour. It quickly became apparent that one of the most important things the county could do was to save that building. We had to restore part of our past in order to build a stronger future. The City of Littleton now has a beautifully restored courthouse thanks to our efforts. I’ve now been directly and professionally involved for over 16 years in the economic health of our county seat, the City of Littleton. I love its people, history and tradition, and I have become heavily involved in areas where citizens and government need to work together to ensure the city’s continued success, including the city’s changing demographics, its cultural norms, the strength of its commercial base, its transportation routes, and its neighborhoods. The city’s future is brighter today than I have ever seen it. Littleton has the
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potential to achieve an elegant balance between respect for its culture and tradition as a historic city (not just a suburb of Denver) and the critical role Littleton plays in one of the nation’s premier metropolitan areas, Denver. A spotlight is now focused on Colorado, particularly South Metro Denver. We’ve become the top destination in the country for young professionals to live and work, with major companies expanding and moving here. Littleton is responding accordingly with a variety of new residential and commercial growth. The Littleton City Council made a wise decision by hiring Michael Penny as city manager. Michael is an energetic, competent and hard-working professional. He and his staff have embarked on a series of long-range planning, communication and economic-development initiatives to improve the quality of life for our city’s residents, and we are beginning to see the fruits of their vision and labor. The economy over the last four years has proven difficult for many in our community, both in business and in our neighborhoods, but we now have the potential to grow responsibly Brackney continues on Page 11
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