Communication
EMBRACING CONVERSATION
In the Digital Age by Carolie Coffey, M.A. SOCIOLOGIST
C
onversation has always been a taken-for-granted feast of enjoyment for me. When I was a youngster, I used to love listening to family conversations around the dinner table. When adult company would come to our home for an evening of visiting, I would sit at the top of the stairwell and listen to all their talk. I especially enjoyed hearing my father tell true and often funny stories about his life. I never seemed to tire of listening to the same stories over and over again. Language is undoubtedly the most significant and unique aspect of being a human being. As such, it makes sense that language used in the context of face-to-face conversation, whereby people are talking with one another, is the other most significant and unique characteristic of being human. When conversation takes place among people who are in physical proximity of one another, each person engaged in that conversation has access to seeing the non-verbal facial and other physical expressions that reinforce the full meanings, both intellectual and emotional, that frequently accompany verbal conversation.
a point where the face-to-face conversation has significantly diminished. Human forms of communication are rapidly changing from interpersonal conversational strategies to impersonal ways of quickly imparting information. Lacking is the warmth of seeing a human face and hearing a human voice. According to these scientists, diminishing conversation has negatively impacted several very important processes that have, to date, filled our lives with profound, yet often unacknowledged, meaning.
Last but not least, according to MIT Professor of Sociology and Psychology Sherry Turkle, many people who have grown up in the digital age report having feelings of vulnerability when engaging in conversation. They may feel they have less control over the way they want to “present” themselves to others. Research indicates that people today seem to feel less vulnerable when their interactions are mediated through the electronics of the computer and smartphone, along with social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Messenger, These processes include phenomena such and text messages. In short, people seem to as empathy, intimacy, identity, and commu- prefer digital communication at the expense nity building, all of which require face-to- of face-to-face contact and conversation. face conversation in order to become fully actualized. If, in fact, people today feel vulnerable when interacting and conversing with each Empathy occurs when one person can other face-to-face, individuals might strive imagine how another person may feel in a to overcome these feelings of vulnerability given situation. Empathy is learned through through the process of self-empowerment. the process of conversations whereby the This is likely to occur as individuals become words we are speaking and the non-verbal more willing to reveal their authentic selves. ways we are expressing ourselves reveal what we might be feeling at a given time. Authenticity requires of us a willingness Sociologists and psychologists are telling us to be open, transparent, and real about who that their research shows that empathy is we are. People may become increasingly aumeasurably declining as members of soci- thentic if we have developed a strong sense ety engage less and less in conversation. It is of personal integrity. This would include conversation that can ultimately bring about honesty, trustworthiness, keeping one’s our sense of empathy and compassion for agreements with others, and a willingness one another. The same may be said about to take personal responsibility for what one intimacy. does and who one is.
In addition to the fact that we human beings acquire language and conversational skills from birth on, we must also develop our listening skills for conversations to become meaningfully complete. Language, conversation, and listening skills are all things that we human beings have taken for granted for most all of the thousands of years we have Intimacy is fostered through face-to-face lived on our planet. interaction and conversation. In fact, these two things are virtually a requirement for It is perhaps only within the past twenty true intimacy. years or so that face-to-face conversations and even phone conversations have begun Identity is established, maintained, to disappear. Digital technology has given changed over time as the consequence of us faster ways to communicate...ways such face-to-face interaction and conversation as text messages, e-mail, and all the other with significant others. We are largely dedigital modalities with which to impart a fined by the words, gestures, and responses message quickly, without having to hear a of these others. The absence of face-to-face human voice, or see the human emotions interaction and conversation over time and that people might naturally express as their throughout our lives threatens to leave a void reactions to the impersonal, digital message. as to who we see ourselves to be.
These three traits—authenticity, personal integrity, and a willingness to take personal responsibility—are all interrelated. If an individual strives to acquire these three personal characteristics, it is more likely that engaging with others in face-to-face conversation will not leave that person feeling vulnerable. Instead, it is likely that the person will experience joy in sharing the exchange of conversation with others. Perhaps the most important part of human living is the gift of genuine friendship and love of fellow human beings … accompanied by one’s own kindness and compassion to all creatures, human and otherwise. FaceSocial scientists are currently engaged in Community building quite obviously takes to-face interaction and conversation are reresearch as to the social impact of digital place as a consequence of people interacting quired in order to manifest one’s true and technology. This technology has developed to and having conversations with one another. full humanity. JANUARY 2022 | Central Coast Journal
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