COLlive Magazine - Purim 5780

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 5:51 PM Page 1

s”xc

TACKLING HATE CRIMES 3 Leaders Speak

KINUS HASHLUCHOS: Tips From the Frontline Special Photos from 5752

THE LATEST AND GREATEST IN CROWN HEIGHTS SCHOOLS WHY AM I NOT MARRIED YET? Shidduch Advice

4

ISSUE 3

SHEVAT 5780 / FEBRUARY 2020

vfrcv ,t wv vum itf

Unexpected recipes for Hamantaschen

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 5:52 PM Page 2

Tzfasman Jewelers | 718.774.2770 | 551 Crown St, Brooklyn, NY 11213

@tzfasmanjewelers

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 5:52 PM Page 3

providing all of your insurance for:

Personal, Business & Commercial

718.799.5607 BrooklynBrokerage.com Brookl ly ynB ynBrokerage.com 324 troy troy y ave av ve brooklyn, brookl lyn, y NY 11213

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 5:52 PM Page 4

CONTENTS KINUS HASHLUCHOS

12 34 42 46 4 COLlive Magazine

Tackling Hate Crimes: 3 Leaders Speak

18

10 Practical Tips for Life From Shluchos

22

How N’shei Chabad Got Started Room 212 in 770

29

Kinus Hashluchos with the Rebbe

KOSHER

The Latest & Greatest in Crown Heights Schools

56

Hamantaschen Extravaganza

60

Crown Heights Kosher Food Guide

Recipes by Nina Safar

COLUMNS

A Blessing and a Dynasty

6

From the Publisher

8

Dvar Malchus

Mica Soffer

From the Rebbe

10

Weekly Features on COLlive.com

32

Photo Gallery

50

Ask the Therapist Rabbi Daniel Schonuch

Medical Calling

53

Health

Profile in Chesed

64

Humor

A Personal Story

Purim in Crown Heights

Sara Chana Silverstein

Mordechai Schmutter

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 5:52 PM Page 5

Why have your business pay the mortgage for your landlord, when you can be your own landlord!

10% down payment, and you may even qualify for a 100% financing • Based on the cash flow of your business • You need good credit • You need to occupy more than 50% •

SBA Loan Group LLC is one of the largest SBA loan packagers in the United States!

We assist businesses in applying and receiving SBA loans.

With over 15 years of industry and SBA related experience - we help you qualify and determine whether you are eligible.

We make the process very easy for our clients!

Call us now for more information!

Get prequalified in a 5 minute no-obligation call!

Mendy (347) 409-0101

Yankie (718) 744-7459

mendy@sbaloangroup.com

yankie@sbaloangroup.com

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 5:52 PM Page 6

85x1

FROM THE PUBLISHER PUBLISHER

MICA SOFFER

Mica Soffer Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Libby Herz Chana Marozov Nina Safar Mordechai Schmutter Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch Danit Schusterman Sara Chana Silverstein Sara Spielman Chava Witkes DESIGN

Toiby Hayes PHOTOS JEM

Shimi Kutner Shmuel Amit RebbeDrive

My first and last memory of

accept the nesius (leadership) of

Rebbetzin Chaya Mushke

Chabad-Lubavitch, how her

Schneerson, of blessed

testimony won the Seforim Case

memory, was on a chilly

(“My father and the seforim

winter day in Crown Heights. I

belong to the chassidim”), her

was a young girl then,

devotion and the interest she

standing on Eastern Parkway

has taken in others and the

among 15,000 Chassidim and

world of Lubavitch.

Jews of all backgrounds. It

The fact that my only memory

was on the 22nd of Shvat

of the Rebbetzin was

5748, her levaya.

attending her levaya is a great

Although we merited to live in

lesson on its own. She taught

the same neighborhood, most

us all the great attributes of

of us had no direct interaction

humility and modesty by

with the Rebbetzin. Other than

living it as an example. It is

being the daughter of the

something we call can learn

Frierdiker Rebbe and the wife

from and emulate.

of the Rebbe, we know little ADVERTISING Phone: 718-679-9450 ext: 2 Email: ads@COLlive.com EDITORIAL INQUIRIES OR SUBMISSIONS Phone: 718-679-9450 ext: 1 Email: Editor@COLlive.com COLlive Magazine is published in print periodically by the Collive Media Group Inc. and is distributed free in Brooklyn, NY. COLlive does not endorse any products or services reported about or advertised in COLlive Magazine unless specifically noted.

The acceptance of advertising in COLlive Magazine does not constitute a recommendation, approval or other representation or quality of products or services, or the credibility of any claims made by advertisers including, but not limited to, the kashrus or advertised food products. The use of any products or services advertised in COLlive Magazine is solely at the user’s risk and COLlive accepts no responsibility or liability in connection therewith.

Magazine is published in honor

In was only during the years

of her yartzeit on Chof Beis

since her passing that we have

Shvat. We, therefore, put a

gotten to get a glimpse into

focus on areas that were dear

her life and hear treasured

to the Rebbetzin such as the

anecdotes about her special,

Kinus Hashluchos, Chinuch and

royal and pious personality.

Chessed in the community.

We learned how she

We hope you enjoy reading it

encouraged the Rebbe to

and get inspired.

Mica Soffer

FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

6 COLlive Magazine

This 3rd issue of the COLlive

about her.

@COLliveOfficial

Photo by: Nechama Photography

EDITOR

@COLlive

718.679.9450

COLlive Mag Adar1 2020 -- toiby11:03 monday 1 2/11/2020 5:52 PM Page 7 85x11_b_Layout 1/28/2020 PM night_Layout Page 1

sWxc

ONLY

$6

EACH

SEND PURIM BASKETS

TO ANASH IN CROWN HEIGHTS! PURIM IS AROUND THE CORNER AND OHOLEI TORAH PTA IS HERE ONCE AGAIN TO LEND A HELPING HAND WITH OUR POPULAR,

EVER GROWING ACHDUS BASKETS PROGRAM.

BY PHONE: Subie Rubashkin 646-221-3161 (daytime hours) ~ Chani Neubort 718-778-4881 Chani Kaminetzky 646-402-4934 (evening hours) ~ Esther Rivka Telsner 718-774-1301 (evening hours) ~ Sarah Popack 718-735-2484 ~ Aida Junik 718-953-3197

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:12 PM Page 8

CONNECTING TO OUR ROOTS The Rebbe’s letter to the Second European Convention of Lubavitch Women and Girls in London, 5739

This letter is presented by Rabbi Sholom Ber Schapiro and the Nissan Mindel Publications (NMP)

8 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:12 PM Page 9

DVAR MALCHUS

Shevat 5780 Edition

9

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 10

W E E K LY F E AT U R E S

ON COLLIVE.COM MOTZEI SHABBOS S H A B B O S N I G H T L I V E RABBI SHMUEL BUTMAN Now in its 11th year on COLlive.com, Shabbos Night Live is viewed by thousands of steady viewers from all over the world. Rabbi Shmuel Butman, Executive Director of the Central Lubavitch Youth Organization (Tzach), shares a weekly story from the Rebbe followed by a sicha of the Rebbe. Some programs are filmed at the Kosel, Paris and even Kazakhstan.

MOTZOEI SHABBOS STORY DOVID ZAKLIKOWSKI

A weekly Chassidic story for the Melave Malka table is presented by Dovid Zaklikowski, an author and writer and Director of Hasidic Archives. These cherished tales about the Baal Shem Tov, Alter Rebbe, Berditchever Rebbe and other luminaries warm the heart and inspire the soul.

S U N D AY MYLIFE: CHASSIDUS APPLIED RABBI SIMON JACOBSON An hour-long dose of insights into the teachings of Chassidus dealing with practical and emotional challenges in personal lives and relationships. Presented by Rabbi Simon Jacobson, choizer of the Rebbe and bestselling author of “Towards a Meaningful Life.” Every question is answered in a simple, clear language with eye-opening advice from the Rebbeim.

10 COLlive Magazine

M O N D AY STUMP THE RABBI Providing a quick answer to every question, Rabbi Yossi Paltiel, Rabbi Noam Wagner, Rabbi Shlomo Goldfarb, Rabbi Mendy Wolf, and others take on hundreds of topics and questions about Jewish life and Chassidic practice. Made possible by the Chanin Fund and Reliable Fast Cash.

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 11

T H U R S D AY H E R E ’ S M Y S T O R Y JEM A fascinating and uplifting encounter with the Rebbe is told in first-person as documented by the team of Jewish Educational Media (JEM).

T U E S D AY MOSHIACH SHMOOZE RABBI DOV BIALO A practical and clear approach to the Torah's concept of Moshiach and the era of redemption.

S O U L W O R D S RABBI SHAIS TAUB A 30-minute class on the Parshah based on a sicha of the Rebbe and presented with a story to share at your Shabbos table. Filmed at Chabad of the Five Towns - Levi Yitzchak Library and presented by Rabbi Shais Taub, renowned author and teacher of Chassidus.

H I S T O R I C T R E A S U R E S RABBI SHOLOM BER SCHAPIRO

‘Treasures’ from the archives of Rabbi Dr. Nissan Mindel OBM, the personal secretary of the 6th and 7th Chabad Rebbes, is shared by his son-in-law, Rabbi Sholom Ber Schapiro, Director of the Nissan Mindel Publications (NMP). The program uncovers fascinating stories, rare artifacts and precious documents from the Chabad-Lubavitch movement.

F R I D AY W E E K LY M O M E N T W I T H T H E R E B B E AVNER INSTITUTE A weekly feature showing a beautiful photo of the Rebbe along with an interesting document, Yechidus, story or letter from the Rebbe.

L A T E P A R S H A S H O W ELI WEISS Eli Weiss, who grew up on Shlichus in Miami Lakes in Florida and is a Yeshiva student, presents a humorous and meaningful take on the weekly Parsha - with the help of friends, special guests and even animals.

Shevat 5780 Edition

11

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 12

CHIEF TALK

Photos by Shimi Kutner

BY MICA SOFFER

12 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 13

SAFETY DEPUTY INSPECTOR TITO ROMERO, THE NEW POLICE CHIEF IN CROWN HEIGHTS, DISCUSSES CRIME, HATE CRIME, STREET LIGHTS AND WHAT HE WISHES RESIDENTS WOULD KNOW

D

eputy Inspector Tito Romero is back in the neighborhood as the new Commanding Officer of the NYPD 71st Precinct

which covers the central Brooklyn areas of Crown

Heights, Wingate and Prospect Lefferts Gardens.

He sat down in his offices at the precinct on Empire Blvd to discuss his new role and what police are doing for the community.

WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? This is my third go over here! I was a cop here in 2000 when I first started, and again as a captain here in 2017. I know the place very well…

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED THIS TIME AROUND? Back then, you didn’t have much opportunities to meet the residents. Now, as the Commanding Officer, I get to meet the stakeholders and leaders of the community. I’ve found that people may think that there's little communication between the different communities, but the fact is that there is a lot of communication. Community

DEVORAH HALBERSTAM:

GO VOTE

Whenever a hate crime happens, Devorah Halberstam immediately gets involved. As the clergy liaison to the NYPD 71st precinct, she is a point person between the Crown Heights community and the police. She is also the honorary commissioner for community safety in New York City.

Halberstam explains that even with a police department being “extremely on top of the situation,” the streets can only be truly safe if all aspects of the hate crimes issue are addressed.

“The police are just one piece of a complex system,” she says.

“The rest of it happens in courtrooms and judicial offices.”

The recent bail reform act, for example, is one that might cause alarm to anyone concerned for their safety, she says, because "it releases criminals in most felony crimes that people have been arrested for."

Another legal complexity, Halberstam points to, is when an attacker is considered an EDP (Emotional Disturbed Person) and is often sent back out on the streets. Halberstam would like that changed. "Criminals who have a history of mental illness, should not be let back into society, but rather mandated by the courts to a Psych institution,” she says. “The chance that someone who was acquitted will commit another crime is very likely. These are not the kind of people we want jogging with us in the local park.”

“There should be zero tolerance for hate crimes,” Halberstam says. For a policy like that to be enforced, though, Crown Heights residents need to get more involved. That's why she urges people to show up to meetings, vote, and petition.

Not everyone votes, and not everyone who goes to the ballot knows who has the community's interests in mind, she explains. “The people we put into office are the ones who will decide whether someone like the attacker of Rabbi Avrohom Gopin will be locked up, hospitalized—or released back onto the same streets where he first attacked,” she says.

To effectively participate in an improved justice system, people need to do their research, she says. “Google the judges!” Halberstam suggests.

Shevat 5780 Edition

13

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 14

SAFETY

leaders, clergy, and elected officials all talk

historic year: Crown Heights had the

and communicate, and we are all on the same

lowest number of shooting incidents ever

page for the benefit of the community. I don't

since CompStat (comparison statistics)

think that information trickles down to the

started in 1994. When I was a cop here in

community. A lot is going on together and I

2000, we had three shootings in a week.

wish the masses would know that.

There are historic lows in other areas as well:

WHAT ARE YOUR TOP PRIORITIES?

Second lowest number of homicides, of only 4

As any Commanding Officer, we want to keep

robberies. Crown Heights is a much safer

crime down and keep the community safe. We want the community to feel safe as well. If the perception is that they are not safe – even if that’s only a perception – that is the reality to them. We want everyone in the community to feel safe.

WHAT ARE THE LATEST STATISTICS ABOUT CRIME IN CROWN HEIGHTS? In terms of shooting incidents, this was a

14 COLlive Magazine

this year. And the second-lowest number of

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 15

RICHARD GREEN: community today due to the hard work of my predecessors, Inspector Francis Giordano and Norman Grandstaff.

TO WHAT DO YOU CONTRIBUTE THIS? What helped a lot was the inception of the Neighborhood Coordination Officers (NCO) program (which has officers engaging with residents in non-emergency settings to identify local issues). It provides more eyes and ears and getting the community involved.

It also helps with identifying things before they proliferate.

Another factor is technology: Video has helped us exponentially, whether it's our covert cameras or cameras that people have in the community. These videos help us close cases a lot quicker. If you get a robbery or even a package theft on video and we get that video, a lot of the people who commit these crimes, they are recidivists. We know who they are once we see them on video.

WHAT ABOUT THE HATE CRIMES? CROWN HEIGHTS HAS BEEN A PRIME TARGET OF ANTI-SEMITISM. We've supplemented our patrols with officers out on the streets. The borough has sent us officers from other commands, and we've put them out there in places where there is a lot of pedestrian traffic.

We have help from the State Police as well as counterterrorism. In addition, we have added

SAY HELLO TO YOUR NEIGHBOR

In a community where many still admit to being fearful of their black neighbors, Richard Green is optimistic about hate crimes. “The media blows things up sometimes,” he says. “99.9 percent of the black population doesn’t feel that way.”

Richard Green’s ties to the Crown Heights community go back over fifty years, to when he first moved to town in 1968, right across from 770, and acted as “Shabbos goy” for many of his neighbors. Now, he’s a community activist who runs Crown Heights Youth Collective, a NYC sponsored organization that aims to promote peaceful interactions among the younger generation. “We’re handing them the globe,” Green says.

Born in Honduras, Green moved to Brooklyn at 10 years old, attended schools in the community where he was friends with many Jews who “weren’t my Jewish friends. They were just my friends.”

He served in the Vietnam war, where he saw the furthest extremes of human cruelty. “I decided then that violence has to be the absolute exception, not the rule.”

Green’s passion also stems from his feeling of ownership. “I live here. My children live here. My grandchildren live here. I want them to inherit a community of peace.”

In an age where Green says, “information is more important than food,” the Youth Collective teaches black youth about their Jewish neighbors. “Kids need to understand what a hate crime is.

Sometimes they don’t know any better. They think throwing a tomato at someone is just a prank.”

While he works on teaching the younger generation, he says “the older people need to talk to each other” too. He wishes more people would say hello to their neighbors, acknowledging that because of religious restrictions, closer involvement might not be possible. “These are the people living down the block. We have to get along.” He suggests attending block association meetings regularly—”not just after a crisis.”

Green says there’s a story of the Rebbe that always stuck out in his mind. “Someone asked the Rebbe what to do about the ‘two different communities living in Crown Heights.’ The Rebbe responded, ‘There is only one community.’”

“That’s what we have to remember. We’re one community,” Green says. “Is us getting along and having a good conversation newsworthy?” Maybe not, but that’s Green’s mission, and one he’s been leading for 41 years, media attention or not.

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 16

light towers to the streets.

the vigilance. They are very

into the precinct, you'd be

People feel safer when its

helpful with video as well.

pleasantly surprised at the

more well-lit because of the

They don't hesitate to call,

help we afford you.

light towers and see more

and they have a great

patrol cars.

relationship with Detective

THE KINGSTON AVENUE MERCHANTS ASSOCIATION HAS BEEN LOBBYING FOR BRIGHTER LIGHTING ON CENTRAL STREETS. DO YOU THINK IT CAN HELP WITH SECURITY? We can reach out to the Department of Transpiration (DOT) and ask about that, even though it is not something that is in our power. We have also placed bright lights from the NYPD on the darker corners in the neighborhood.

HOW CAN THE JEWISH COMMUNITY HELP?

Vinny Martinos. They should keep up their great work.

As for the community, communication is key. By letting us know as soon as something happens, we can react quicker. I also want the public to know that if a crime happens and you don't see Shmira or Shomrim members - call 911. Calling 911 is your best bet. Once we get the job dispatched, we are coming

WHY DOES THE NYPD CHANGE THE 71ST COMMANDING OFFICER EVERY 2 YEARS OR SO, JUST AS THEY’VE GOTTEN TO KNOW THE NEIGHBORHOOD? Usually, we are at a command for 2-3 years, and they move on to get promoted to other things. The 71st is a prestigious command, so many of them are promoted to becoming chiefs and other prestigious jobs.

to help. And there's so many of us out there.

RESIDENTS ARE OFTEN WARY ABOUT FILING COMPLAINTS AND WORRY WHETHER THEY WILL BE HEARD...

There are the operators at

ANY FINAL WORDS THAT YOU WANT TO GIVE TO THE COMMUNITY? I'm happy to be back. The 71st always feels like home. It's my third go around here. I just want to let them know that safety is our top priority. I know that

the station that are here to

Shomrim and Shmira do a

many are concerned about

take reports, as well as a

great job assisting the

the recent bias incidents,

complaint room. We have

NYPD. They really are the

and I want to let the

crime victims advocates here

eyes and ears to keep up

community know that the

as well. I think if you come

71 is here for them. n

16 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 17

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 18

Doing It All,

Just Not

By Danit Schusterman

Motherhood is one of the most fulfilling journeys life has to offer, and so is being a full-time Shlucha of the Rebbe, but balancing it all can be emotionally and physically exhausting. When there are so many things vying for your time and attention throughout the day, it is easy to feel as though you’re not excelling in any of your roles, at home or in your shlichus.

While the perfect shlichus-family balance may feel unattainable, I spoke with 5 successful mothers and shluchos to discuss some of their strategies that they use to maintain their sanity and purpose as full-time shluchos, wives and mothers. The wisdom and tips they shared can be emulated by all - whether you are on Shlichus or not.

Here are the 10 tips from Mrs. Chanie Chein of Chabad of Brandeis University in Massachusetts, Mrs. Mushky Feldman of Chabad of Iceland, Mrs. Leah Namdar of Chabad Lubavitch Sweden, Mrs. Tzippy Weiss of Chabad of Miami Lakes in Florida, and Mrs. Altie Wolvovsky of Sonoma County Chabad Jewish Center in S. Rosa, California.

1. Set a routine.

Leah: It really makes a difference to make sure to take our spiritual vitamins - like davening and saying Chitas as soon as possible during the day. This gives energy, calm and perspective for the day ahead.

also make sure that I look put-together every day, even if I have nothing specific planned for that day. I get dressed nicely, put on makeup and get ready to face the day.

2. Prioritize.

Altie: Family is priority. After that, certain

Tzippy: I wake up very grateful to Hashem for

things that are a must like Shabbos and Yom

what I have. I tell myself, ‘today will be a

Tov and certain community events, come

great day and I will do the best that I can’. I

next. First, do the things you enjoy and later

18 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 19

Mrs. Tzippy Weiss and Family of 10

KINUS HASHLUCHOS

All the Time the things you least enjoy. I always say that I

Mushky: Our Shlichus involves servicing the

will not regret if I had one less class or one

many Jewish tourists that visit Iceland. So we

less event, but I will regret not giving my

needed to set up an efficient system for them.

children what they needed.

We have a very resourceful website with all the information they need, as well as a system

Chanie: To me, I need to give to my family

for Jewish tourists to order kosher food.

first. The only way I can do this to its fullest is to invest in myself. We all have our own version of self-care and how we can fill ourselves up. I allow myself to take stock of what's important and am able to bring my healthiest self forward.

Tzippy: Many years ago, I decided that my

4. Be in tune.

Altie: I learn from others, but most importantly learn from myself. Be honest with your kochos (strengths) and with your community and set of individual circumstances and work accordingly with one thing at a time.

family would come first. Well, specifically, Hashem, my family and then my shlichus. I feel that by putting my family first, the people in my community notice and respect the dedication I have to my family.

3. Work efficiently.

Leah: One thing that really helps when writing a daily checklist is to have 2 or more parts to the page: Family, Shlichus, etc. When you write down everything that needs to get done that day in each category, it really helps towards getting it done Mrs. Altie Wolvovsky with her Hebrew School students

Shevat 5780 Edition

19

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 20

6. Stop comparing yourself.

Chanie: We should only live according to our own expectations, and not what other people demand. Don't compare yourself to anyone especially from social media. Become the person Hashem created you to be.

Altie: In life in general, don't compare yourself with others. Just don't go there.

Mrs. Chanie Chein and husband, recording their podcast ‘A New Conversation with Chanie and Peretz’

Chanie: Life is fuller and more colorful when we accept that we are all constantly evolving.

Focus on the things that you need to do and how you are going to do them.

7. Self-care.

We are evolving, our relationships with our

Leah: I try to take a walk with my husband a

spouses and children are evolving. To

few times a week. This is a very enjoyable

understand and accept this, we will always be

quiet time that we have together. It is also

able to be fully present with ourselves and our

good exercise and it’s lovely to be out in

families.

nature with the best company!

5. Delegate.

Tzippy: I write. I write poetry and make up

Leah: Get cleaning help. The people who look

songs. I enjoy singing. I make sure to get a manicure or a massage once a month.

like they have everything under control are the ones who have cleaning help! If you don’t have, get. If you do have, get more!

8. Spiritual self-care.

Leah: I write to the Rebbe either by emailing

Mushky: If someone else can do it, let them do

my letters to the Ohel, or calling the Ohel by

it. And don’t be afraid to ask for the help you

phone. Sometimes I will put it in a Sefer. We

need. I homeschool my children but we are

try to send the Rebbe Besuros Tovos as often

having a girl come out to help us with that.

as possible.

When people in our community offer to help, I always say yes and delegate a job for them to do. If I see I need extra help with something, I reach out and ask people to help. The people in our community really like being asked to help as it makes them feel really involved. Oh, and get lots of cleaning help.

20 COLlive Magazine

Mushky: I see my spiritual connection to Hashem through homeschooling and educating my children. I also feel very connected to Hashem when I share Torah with others. We try to make all our meals like a farbrengen and celebrate all the Chassidishe Yomim Tovim together with much enjoyment.

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 21

KINUS HASHLUCHOS Altie: Do things that you like to do. I recently

None of us can manage everything at once at

started a Torah class. I love teaching, it gives

the same moment. There will always be one

me a lot of chayus, it's not stressful and it's

more thing to do. We need to just do one

something I enjoy very much. I really try to stay

thing at a time... and Hashem will help it

connected to the Rebbe as it gives me

happen!

tremendous strength to continue doing what I'm doing.

Chanie: It is fraudulent to say ‘if only I knew the secret to balancing it all, I’d be less

9. Be flexible.

Mushky: When we first arrived, we had no idea just how many Jewish tourists were passing through and needed our assistance. Same with

overwhelmed.” This is not true. Life is fluid.

There is no real secret advice or solution. Life keeps moving, as do we. And if we just dance through it at our own pace, we will all be okay.

the community. We realized quickly that we need to always be prepared for whatever Hashem sends our way. Recently, a plane flying from Poland had an emergency landing here in Iceland. There we 60 Jewish kids on board returning from a March of the Living tour who needed kosher food. We were obviously not expecting this but we were able to take care of these travelers while they were stuck here.

Tzippy: A few years back we took a family vacation. While away, there was an emergency situation with one of the members of our community and we had to cut the vacation short and go back and help the family deal

Mrs. Mushky Feldman and Family

with it. Our children understood that sometimes things happen that are unexpected and we need to be responsible and take care of what needs to be taken care of. It teaches the kids to “roll with the punches”, and that everything is by design of the Aibishter, we are not always in control.

10. Keep going Leah: Sometimes I think that we are often a ‘Jack of all trades, master of none.’

Mrs. Leah Namdar leading a weekly Ladies’ Lunch N’ Learn, Sweden

Shevat 5780 Edition

21

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:17 PM Page 22

THE COMMENT THAT SPARKED A MOVEMENT HOW N’SHEI UBNOS CHABAD GOT STARTED 60 YEARS AGO AND HAS EXPANDED SINCE

By Sara Spielman

“It says in the writings of

Mishkan and they showed a

the Arizal that the

great love for the land of

generation before

Israel. The reward for this will

Moshiach is the same

be that in the generation

generation as the Dor

before Moshiach, the

HaMidbar. At that time, the

Talmidei Chachamim will

women were exceptional in

follow the directions of their

a number of areas. They

wives. If we want to

did not participate in the

accomplish with the men,

Chet Ha'eigel, they gave

we first must accomplish

their jewelry for the

with the women.”

ROOM212 IN 770 IT BEGAN IN A SINGLE ROOM AND SPREAD ACROSS NEW YORK CITY

By Chana Marozov

Director of N’shei Chabad Mivtzoim

22 COLlive Magazine

In 1986, when the Rebbe was handing out dollars for tzedakah to people from all walks of life, the women of N’shei Chabad suggested that there should be a spot in 770 Eastern Parkway where non-religious women could prepare to meet the Rebbe.

Room 212, upstairs, was chosen. It provided a cozy environment and was stocked with tichlach, drinks and cookies. There was even a video titled “The Lamplighters” that played on a screen in a loop.

Room 212 was part of the beginning of N’shei Chabad Mivtzoim, a project that this past year alone has handed out 1,000 honey jars for Rosh Hashana, 50 sets of lulavs, 600 menorahs, 1,000 dreidels, 600 dried fruit bags for Tu B’Shvat, 4,000 shmura matzahs for Pesach and 1,500 more for Pesach Sheini, and 600 cheese pastries for Shavuos. This

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:17 PM Page 23

IN-REACH With those words, some 60

mitzvos for women: Taharas

received the brocha of “Azkir

years ago, the Rebbe

hamishpachah, Kashrus and

Al hatzion” from the Rebbe

launched what is now known

Neshek, with committees for

when they assumed leadership.

as N’shei Ubnos Chabad, the

Tznius and Chinuch added too.

women's arm of the Chabad-

The Rebbe also gave special

Lubavitch movement. The

directives to the women to

organization, based in Crown

place a pushka in the kitchen

Heights, now includes

and bedrooms and making

chapters in many sizable

every child's room a Beis

Lubavitch communities around

Chabad, with only kosher and

the world.

pure animals for toys or in

To gather the women in those

reading material.

An annual highlight of their activities was the spring convention in Crown Heights, which culminated with the women gathering in the main shul of 770 Eastern Parkway for a special sicha of the Rebbe. Participants would then be able to present their

first years, N’shei held

Some past leaders of N’shei

'pan' to the Rebbe and receive

gatherings called

Chabad were Chaya Sara

an answer.

“algemeiners” in Crown

Gorodetsky, Menucha

Heights Shuls on special

Rochelle Groner, Tema Gurary,

Chassidic days such as Yud Tes

Riva Chitrik, Riva Teleshevsky,

Kislev. Activities varied

Sara Katzman, Miriam Popack,

depending on whether it was

Esther Sternberg, Zelda

intended for outreach or for

Nemes, Leah Kahan, Fruma

inside the community, with

Junik, and Leah Klein.

different women in charge.

The current hanala of N’shei,

They also formed committees

consisting of Kreindy Klein,

based on the Rebbe's

Chana Ginsberg, Shterna

campaigns of the three

Spritzer and Cherna Light,

is in addition to countless Shabbos candles and pamphlets.

Back then, we would cut the checklist of hachlatos that Rabbi Itche Shpringer would publicize in the New York Times. We encouraged women visiting 770 to write their own hachlatos and put them in a big box. When the box was full, we would give it as a present to the Rebbe who received it with so much nachas.

I remember one woman who came with her baby. She said that a year before, she visited the Rebbe at the suggestion of a friend. A year later, she was blessed with a child and came to say thank you with the newborn in her arms. I suggested she take upon herself a hachlata such as

“We were waiting for Moshiach and it was electrifying, everyone’s moods were high”

Taharas Hamishpacha. The woman knew instinctively that this is what she wants to take upon herself and was so grateful that she had something she could do in honor of the Rebbe.

What N’shei Chabad Mivtzoim became known for was, well, Mivtzoim. As I went on Mivtzoim, I was privileged to have my mother, Rebbetzin Chava Belinow with me. She was the sole survivor of her family during the Holocaust. She once expressed to the Rebbe her concern that perhaps she didn't have the right talents do go out on Mivtzoim. The Rebbe told her that certainly, she does and that every Yid – man and woman – can spread yiddishkeit, especially the ones raised amongst chassidim.

Continued on page 24 Shevat 5780 Edition

23

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:17 PM Page 24

N’shei would also present

to go home and watch the

A few years later, there were

elaborate covention

children so that his wife can

women who expressed

centerpieces to the Rebbe, for

come to 770,” she says. “In

disappointment because so

which the Rebbe demonstrated

another incident, a woman

many of them couldn't make it

great appreciation for their

wrote that she wasn't feeling

to Crown Heights for the

efforts by stopping, examining

well and stopped going to

spring convention. The Rebbe

the centerpieces and taking it

N’shei events. The Rebbe

said that if they couldn't come,

along. Once, the centerpiece

responded that she should

N’shei should go to them. This

was quite heavy and the Rebbe's

attend N’shei farbrengens and

is how the midwinter out-of-

secretary immediately reached

they bring the brochos that a

town N’shei conventions began, bringing inspiration to

“We don’t have to go to the outside world. We have it all here, we just need to be connected.”

cities across North America.

On Yud Kislev 5752, the Rebbe spoke about everyone being involved in beautifying and enlarging 770. Women collected 5,000 dollars and

to carry it, but the Rebbe

person and family needs.

insisted on carrying it alone.

There were other women who

Shterna Spritzer says it was important to the Rebbe that women attend the convention.

“One year, the Rebbe told his

reported that while coming to the Rebbe for dollars, the Rebbe would inquire whether they attended the N’shei farbrengen.”

secretary Rabbi Leibel Groner

went to present a silver pushkah in the shape of 770 with a check and gave it to the Rebbe along with a brochah for the geulah.

The Rebbe gave each woman two dollars and said the money they gave to tzedakah will “hasten the geulah.”

So at the age of 80, my mother became my partner in Mivtzoim. She was and still is my strength in all that I do.

Today, I have tremendous nachas watching my children take their own children on Mivtzoim, and how much joy they have in bringing other Jews closer to yiddishkeit.

Yomim Tovim. We would set up tables with pamphlets for both Jews and non-Jews, reaching thousands of people doing their shopping. We also set up a kosher week about twice a year dedicating that whole week to teaching kashrus to the shoppers.

After Gimmel Tammuz, N’shei Chabad Mivtzoim decided to expand our activities to help bring Moshiach.

We also expanded to senior centers. At first, it was only a program on Sunday. Gradually, we added one day, and then another, of the week. Today, we have groups of drivers and women who go every single day of the week! They visit about 35 senior centers in New York.

We had a single yellow school bus in which women and girls from Crown Heights would go to Brighton Beach and bring Mivtzoim to the streets and boardwalk where many Russian Jews live. Eventually, this project was taken over by Rebbetzin Chaya Korf and the Beis Rivkah Girls.

We then started standing outside supermarkets before the 24 COLlive Magazine

These visits with the seniors created a ripple effect extending to their family members. One by one, the seniors' children and grandchildren were taking on mitzvos

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:17 PM Page 25

IN-REACH On the 20th of Teves in 5751,

was there from Crown

Crown Heights N’shei and to

N’shei organized a lavish

Heights and from all over.

follow the last one, the Melave

Melave Malka with prominent

The bleachers were full of

Malka in 770. Many other

speakers, including Rabbi

girls too.”

countries followed to make

Yitzchak Groner and Rabbi Chaim Gutnick (both from Australia), Rabbi Shneur Zalman Gurary,

“The Rebbe said to Chaim Halberstam: Thanks for the nachas and it will continue to

farbrengens to bring Moshiach. It became international.” Subsequently, N’shei held a similar

Rabbi Yoel Kahn and

event in the New

Rabbi Yehuda

York Javits Center,

Kalmen Marlow,

which had an

who all spoke about

amazing turnout

the imminence of

too.

Moshiach.

In more recent

Seventeen countries

years, Project C was

participated through

established to learn

a broadcast in 770.

about Inyanei Geulah

“Everything was

and Moshiach

beautiful in gold and silver,

cause nachas,” Shterna

simultaneously as a

fancy plates, food, it was

Spritzer added. “A short time

community. “The last Mitzvah

really beautiful downstairs,”

later N’shei in England were by

the Rebbe told us about was

Cherna Light said. “We were

the Rebbe and mentioned

to open our eyes to see

waiting for Moshiach and it

gatherings they were doing for

Moshiach in the world, to

was electrifying, everyone's

women. The Rebbe said it's a

permeate the world with our

moods were high, everyone

good idea to discuss it with

actions, it's the call of the

and reconnecting to yiddishkeit. So many daughters are now lighting Shabbos candles and many sons are now putting on Tefilin.

In conjunction with Tzach, N’shei coordinates with schools and families to sign up for Mivtzoim. It's incredible to see the effects of the dedicated teachers and parents encouraging the children to join Mivtzoim. About three years ago, we also started youth programs at JCCs, after school programs, among many others.

What is so impressive about all the women and girls involved is that they volunteer their time, and often even use their own funds to cover the pamphlets and other items. Our costs still reach approximately $50,000 a year.

We try to cover some of it with a Chof Beis Shvat auction.

The Rebbe famously said to Chassidim that “I have done all that I can and it is up to you to do all that you can to bring Moshiach.” A woman once asked the Rebbe what this means, to which he replied, pointing with his finger to her and all the people around her saying “You, You, and You.” Today, the opportunities to do Mivtzoim with technology and social media is virtually limitless. No place and no one is beyond reach. With anti-semitism on the rise and with so much false information being spread around the world, we need everyone, now more than ever, to come on board, and invest their talents in the fight to bring Moshiach.

Shevat 5780 Edition

25

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:17 PM Page 26

IN-REACH hour,” Spritzer says.

Last year, N’shei helped organize a “welcome Moshiach” event, held in Beis Rivkah's Rose Hall with communities around the world holding similar events for the birthday of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka.

“Every N’shei Chabad event highlights our achrayus and zechus to prepare for and bring Moshiach,” Light and Spritzer say. “There are numerous shiurim, Mivtzoim opportunities and Chassidishe Yomim Tovim farbrengens to inspire, uplift and keep us focused on our mission to bring the final geulah.”

The newest N’shei initiative is “Project Connect,” which aims to connect Crown Heights women in a more

26 COLlive Magazine

personal setting. Zohar

feeds on a regular basis. It

Sasson, who heads the

began when Sasson attended

project, says she realized a

a class on Tznius and the

need to create “round table

lecturer said, we should not

discussions” as a way for

need to follow celebrities for

women to connect. “Large

guidance as a way for women

events were not really

to connect. “It lit a fire in me,”

connecting women here to

she says, and together with

each other, as they filled a

Rivky Katz, she conducted 40

room to hear speakers and

short interviews with educators

then left,” she says.

and influencers featured on the

The first round table meeting was held with success on Rosh

Instagram account @Jewish_woman_influencer.

Chodesh Kislev. Today's

“We don't have to go to the

Project Connect hosts round

outside world,” she says. “We

table discussions at various

have it all here, we just need to

homes around the

be connected.”

neighborhood every Tuesday morning. This is in addition to evenings and farbrengens for special events.

The discussion groups give women strength all through the week following the discussions Indeed, accomplishing with the

Sasson has also been active on

women what needs to be

social media to bring

accomplished with the men, as

inspiration to young women's

the Rebbe requested. n

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 27

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:02 PM Page 28

KINUS HASHLUCHOS WITH THE REBBE Courtesy of JEM

Mrs. Chani Ceitlin Montreal, Canada

Mrs. Devora Bergstein Farmington Hills, MI

28 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:03 PM Page 29

FLASHBACK

OS

A special gallery of the International Kinus Hashluchos convention in 5752 (1992) showing the special care the Rebbe gave its participants.

Mrs. Chaya Werner, Monsey, NY - “Good Besuros (news) in all inyonim (matters)”

Mrs. Heftziba Shuchat, Caracas, Venezuala

Mrs. Esther Greenberg, Alaska

Shevat 5780 Edition

29

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:03 PM Page 30

Th M Su Ra

Mrs Binie Tenenbaum, Irvine, CA and her mother Mrs. Chava Hecht Brooklyn, NY

Mrs. Rochel Zamir from Israel asks the Rebbe for brachah for her work in the Ministry of Education. “May you go from strength to strength. Besuros tovos,� the Rebbe responds.

Mrs. Shterna Stern

30 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:03 PM Page 31

FLASHBACK

Mrs. Sara Bryski, Northridge, CA “For all your family, good news.”

The Rebbe calls back Mrs. Basya Gorelik of Milan, Italy. “Give this to charity in Milan.

Success in your speeches.” (Her husband Rabbi Gershon Mendel stands on her right.)

Rabbi and Mrs. Aaron Chein of Queens, NY, watch as the key to their Chabad Center is presented to the Rebbe.

Shevat 5780 Edition

31

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:03 PM Page 32

PURIM

CROWN HEIGHTS

HE PURIM T O T N I GET ITH A SPIRIT W ON OF SELECTI S E PHOTO FAVORIT RIM FROM PU N IN CROW D E T A R CELEB IVE

BY COLL HEIGHTS S! RAPHER PHOTOG

32 COLlive Magazine

Photo by Shmuel Amit

Photo by Shimi Kutner

IN

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:03 PM Page 33

Photo by Shmuel Amit

Photo by Shmuel Amit

Photo by Shimi Kutner

Photo by Shimi Kutner

GALLERY

Shevat 5780 Edition

33

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:03 PM Page 34

CHINUCH

The Latest and greatest in Crown Heights Schools Teachers enjoy a retreat, principal's 3 keys to success, 30 days of musical exploration, 100 exhibits at Moshiach fair, Color War in the winter, expanding to a new location, unforgettable Yud Shvat, new Shabbos minyan and a class for elder bochurim.

By Chava witkes

34 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:19 PM Page 35

Investing in teachers Once a year, the entire staff body of Lubavitch Yeshiva Ocean Parkway comes together for a weekend of inspiration and professional development. A Shabbos spent davening, eating, and learning bonds teachers in a way that the daily grind doesn’t. Says Rabbi Yaacov Sebbag, principal, “Spending time with a teacher’s family brings the full person into the picture ... it’s our way of creating a more supportive environment.”

The retreat, which took place at The Hilton in Scranton, PA, featured a full schedule of farbrengens and workshops.

Rabbi Yossi Rosenblum, an experienced educator from Pittsburgh who recently joined the ULYOP staff, took a lead role, empowering teachers to improve their craft.

“In order to teach well, we all need to be constantly learning,” says Rabbi Rosenblum.

Teachers came back with new energy to tacklethe many hurdles that come up in the daily exercise of educating boys. “We work really hard here, but we enjoy it” says Rabbi Zalman Friedman, 6th grade teacher. “The rigorous curriculum has pushed me to grow professionally.”

Unlike a typical school, at ULYOP all classes feature differentiated learning, which means 100% of the classroom needs to meet the learning standards.

“Teachers can fall into the habit of teaching to the middle,” says Sebbag. “Some kids are falling behind, while some kids aren’t being challenged enough, but everyone is happy as long as the average student is okay.” At ULYOP that’s not enough.

Thankfully, along with higher expectations for teachers comes more support.

Teachers receive a paid prep period for 60-90 minutes daily. Weekly workshops featuring expert educators coach teachers to upgrade skills.

“I’ve always loved to teach,” says Rabbi Shmuel Wagner. “I knew intuitively how to run a class, but in the past two years I’ve learned concrete skills that made my classroom technique more conscious.”

Though the workshops, prep time, and annual retreat add a bulk of costs to the school’s budget, Rabbi Sebbag doesn’t doubt their impact. “We choose to invest in our teachers,” he says. “They need to always feel that they can excel here.”

3 keys to success When Mrs. Shaindel Teichtel, principal of Bais Rivkah High School, entered yechidus with her husband, the Rebbe told the two educators that, “There are three parts to chinuch—hora’ah, hadracha, and hashpa’a.”

It was a yechidus that neither of them will ever forget.

“When I structure improvements in our school,” says Mrs. Teichtel, “I always have the three keys in the

back of my mind.”

For Bais Rivkah girls, that means constant growth in areas of curriculum, extra-curricular, and personal direction.

“Why do fish come to the top of the ocean when it rains?” Mrs. Teichtel asks, in her engaging educator’s style. “Aren’t fish always surrounded by water? But everyone likes something new.” Though the

Shevat 5780 Edition

35

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:19 PM Page 36

foundations of a

with the help of their supervisor Sarale Blau.

Lubavitch high school’s

“Escape the Room is our goal for this year. We need

curriculum stay the

to get out of golus!” Every month contains a sub-

same year after year,

theme that drives another point home—Shvat’s

innovations to the way

theme is mission 70, celebrating 70 years of the

material is presented

Rebbe’s nesius as “a mission, not a legacy.”

needs to change along with the times. “In Chumash class, we have to think: how does this apply to our lives? In Chassidus, how is this sicha relevant to today’s times?” The mark on the test matters in the shortterm, but the long-term impact of education is much more about how learning changes a person.

Of course, out of the classrooms, Bais Rivkah students are always busy. “I don’t like the word extra-curricular; it’s co-curricular,” says Teichtel. Bais Rivkah’s robust offerings of such programs are sometimes most memorable.

Another highlight for Bais Rivkah students is the school Shabbaton. This year, a new location took things to the next level. “We had almost 100 percent attendance,” said Goldy Junik and Miriam Spalter proudly, who helped coordinate the many logistics that go into pulling off a hotel weekend with over 675 people.

When it comes to girls receiving personal guidance, this year has brought new developments that allow for one-on-one attention for every student. Each grade’s principal now has a secretary that takes care of paperwork, freeing them up for personal meetings with every student. Two shluchos in every

Achos Hatmimim, a program that has been part of

grade focus on grade programming and work to

Bais Rivkah since the Frierdiker Rebbe started it in

develop relationships with each girl.

Riga, has seen some important modifications. “We used to have an opt-in,” says Itty Barber, director of the program. “But this year, every girl is automatically included.”

G.O. is that group of girls who make things happen in school (although no one is exactly sure what the name stands for). This year, they created a theme

“Hashpoa can happen by osmosis,” says Mrs. Teichtel, “Or, more importantly, it can happen through personal connection.”

With the three levels of education given due consideration, Bais Rivkah gears up for an invigorating and inspiring school year.

Facing the Music Silence may be golden, but music can make us far richer than any material wealth. And on that note, Bnos Chomesh Academy embarked on a 30-day marathon of musical exploration during its annual

36 COLlive Magazine

music month.

“The goal is for students to experience different styles of Jewish music and discover what appeals to them,” says the principal Mrs. Dena Gorkin. Command performances by Rogers Park, Esther Freeman, Tali Yess, Laura

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:19 PM Page 37

CHINUCH Melnicoff and Jeryko were some of the exciting

challenges like making an original music video or

surprises awaiting students.

sharing a favorite song on the school WhatsApp

“Sorry, girls... History class is canceled... please make your way to the—Whaaaat? Is that Shulem Lemmer?”

In addition to interacting with visiting musicians, girls worked to compile an eclectic playlist blending Jewish classics, niggunim, and contemporary tunes to enjoy after school. Musical

chat were part of the month-long unit. Those who jumped on the bandwagon earned weekly rewards and the chance to join a trip on a music bus limousine.

“Music has such a powerful effect on our gashmius and ruchnius,” says Mrs. Gorkin. “We’re proud to see our students aware of its power.”

Color War is Here Most people remember color war as the highlight of summer camp. But in Bnos Menachem High School, students will remember color war as a winter highlight. In honor of Yud Shvat, grades 9-12 split up into teams to compete in a two-day competition delving into concepts of Bosi L’gani. “We were proud to watch the teams present deep concepts in a fresh poster, moving song, and professional

a dollar from the Rebbe. “I studied every night,” she said. “For the past few weeks, I lived Chidon.”

A few weeks beforehand, 70 girls stood shivering on the corner of E. New York and Albany, tying a Yud Shvat hachlata to 70 balloons. Representing the 70 years of the Rebbe’s leadership, the balloons lifted off to the sky, reminding the girls of Bnos Menachem to always set the bar higher.

skit,” says the principal

On Yud Shvat, students

Mrs. Rishe Majesky.

davened in 770 and then

Another Yud Shvat initiative was a Chidon featuring the “Shivim Shana” kovetz published this year. The booklets were translated and distributed to every girl who join the program. “It was beautiful to see how the girls applied themselves to what they were learning,” said Sara Dubinsky, Bnos Chabad leader. “They worked hard for weeks.”

had the opportunity to visit the Rebbe’s room. The special program featured an inspiring talk by Rabbi Wolff from California and an inspiring Farbrengen with Rabbi Gancz. The central theme of the day was the Rebbe's message that the role of the Rebbe's nesiyus is to bring about the ultimate "Dira Betachtonim" with the coming of Moshiach. Students walked away inspired and empowered to rededicate themselves to their

Qualifying grades on weekly quizzes gave ten girls a

hiskashrus and to making our Rebbe's mission

chance to compete in front of the entire school on

statement come to complete fruition with the

Yud Shvat. The first prize winner, Rivka Pevzner, won

coming of Moshiach now.

Shevat 5780 Edition

37

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:19 PM Page 38

Yud Shvat for All Yud Shvat at United Lubavitcher Yeshiva – Crown St. was an unforgettable experience for talmidim schoolwide. Weeks of preparation geared the children up for this important day in the Chassidishe calendar. “A lot of thought and planning went into our Yud Shvat programs to reach every talmid, from Preschool through Kita 8,” says the Menahel Rabbi Yosef Simpson.

In the preschool, the entrance was transformed into a Basi L’gani garden. Flower-shaped mitzvah notes were added to the garden walls daily, while students learned fundamental concepts of the Rebbe’s first maamer through art projects, stories, and videos.

In the lower elementary school grades, each child created a poster with one of the Rebbe’s 10 Mivtzoim to hang in the yeshiva hallways. Daily Hiskashrus missions were sent home in the weeks leading up to Yud Shvat, including facts about the Rebbe, pisgamim, Moshiach concepts, and action items to complete at home. Kids received prizes for bringing their papers back to school and correctly answering questions about the Rebbe.

Talmidim in 5th and 6th grade focused on Torah, Avodah, and Gemilas Chassadim as their hachana.

They needed to excel in their learning, daven with extra concentration, and complete extra acts of chesed. They also learned Basi L’gani Baal Peh, with each boy memorizing as much as he was able to.

Prizes included pizza, seforim, and a trip. “Watching the Talmidim study Basi L’Gani in their free time was a true nachas,” says Rabbi Yosef Wolf, principal of Grades 5-8.

8th grade talmidim participated in a campaign called “The Mivtza Above the Norm.” Talmidim chose one “not normal” improvement every week, using the motivation of Shtus Dikedusha to push themselves beyond their comfort zones. They marked their successes daily in a duch to the Rebbe.

Finally, the school’s annual Yud Shvat production gave 7th and 8th graders a chance to express their talents in front of 1,500 community members. This year's “Generation Seven” production was titled “The Villain From Vilna,” based on a true story of the Alter Rebbe in the war against Haskalah.

Older students wrote panim and went to the Ohel in Queens, while Pre1A and 1st graders visited the Rebbe's room at 770 to say Tehillim and daven. To encourage chayus in davening and learning in honor of Yud Shvat, rebbis gave out daily coupons to the best daveners and learners. Coupons were entered into a grand raffle on Yud Shvat itself. “The atmosphere in the classrooms has been phenomenal,” said Rabbi Chaim Mayzlesh, Principal of Grades Pre1A-4.

Shliach appointed head of school 38 COLlive Magazine

After a winter Charidy campaign that raised over $200,000 without any matchers, Lamplighters Yeshivah has begun getting back on its feet. The school is working with new leadership, welcoming Rabbi Eliezer Sneiderman as head of school. Rabbi Sneiderman was the Director of

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:19 PM Page 39

CHINUCH Chabad at the University of Delaware for over 20 years, leading close to 30 Birthright trips, before directing Jewish studies at the international college-prep boarding school American Hebrew Academy.

“Not every kid can sit at a desk for eight hours straight listening to a teacher,” he says. Instead, classes are structured in an open classroom model, where kids are free to move around and work independently, with the teacher facilitating interactions. “We place a major emphasis on intrinsic motivation,” says Rabbi Sneiderman. “The goal is to develop a lifelong love of learning where the incentive is an inner drive to grow.

A social work team lead by Ari Perl, LCSW, and his team of three interns are currently working to develop a robust social-emotional curriculum that will make the school a more inclusive place. The introduction of standardized achievement tests along with a regular system of assessments will raise the bar for a higher quality of academics in both secular and Jewish studies.

Experiential learning has also been given a new emphasis. A schoolwide film-making program will give students a chance to write and act in their own screenplays, with older students learning and practicing video editing. A new robotics system that will be used among upper school classes lets kids build a passion for science, math, and engineering.

Moshiach is in the air Students of Bais Rivkah Elementary, in a joint effort of the Hebrew and English departments, presented close to 100 unique exhibits last month at their M’golah L’geulah Fair, highlighting the move from exile to redemption.

The fair gave girls in grades 6-8 a chance to work together and develop new skills. Each team created a poster and 3D model to represent a theme connected to the journey of golus, preparations for Moshiach’s coming, and the times of Geulah. Notable exhibits included ones on the Cantonists in czarist Russia, Mivtza Tefillin, and Israel’s Six-Day War. The entire school and parents were invited to watch the presentations, which also included a play and song. “The fair reflects this year’s theme,” says principal Mrs. Leah Jacobson. “We’re living the times of Moshiach.”

And despite fears earlier this year that the school might need to prepare for a closing, Lamplighers is excited to announce that registration is now open for the 2020-2021 school year. “We have big plans for the future,” Rabbi Sneiderman says.

Opening doors For years, the Darchai Menachem boys yeshiva with a unique approach to education had a full waiting list. Enrollment started in 3rd grade, because a maxed out building left no space for more students. That’s

all changing now, as Darchai gears up to close on a neighboring property.

“It’s been our dream for many years,” says the dean Rabbi Eyal Bension. A first and second

Shevat 5780 Edition

39

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- yossi_Layout 1 2/11/2020 7:19 PM Page 40

CATEGORY

grade class will open in Fall 2020, while the mesivta moves to their own location, where more classrooms will allow space for an additional 10 students, a 30% increase in the student body.

“In our new space, we’ll be able to expand our vision for rich and diverse coursework,” says Rabbi Dovid Marasow, menahel of the mesivta. Classes in Chassidus and

Gemara will go alongside electrician training and e-commerce. Enrichment programming would include apprenticeships with business owners around Crown Heights.

“We’re excited to respond to the growing needs of our community,” says Rabbi Mendy Vail, associate director. “It’s the first step in a series of expansion efforts.”

Going for Growth With ten different divisions and 1,850 students, Oholei Torah has seen tremendous accomplishments since it was founded 64 years ago with the Rebbe’s directives. And the constant improvement in all areas is a theme for this year.

Oholei Torah preschool will soon finish the dedication of a brand new indoor and outdoor playground designed especially for toddlers. Along with it is a new basketball court for older grades, which totals ten different play areas throughout the school’s campus.

In elementary school, a new library has been inaugurated, with technology that will track books on loan and keep the entire catalog of over 2,000 titles organized. “We’re proud to feature only Jewish material,” says Rabbi Mendel Levin, who runs the Tzivos Hashem office where the library will be housed. “Kids will grow up with a love of reading through topics that will strengthen their connection to Hashem at the same time.”

A new Shabbos minyan has been established for Oholei Torah Mesivta, an early version of the “class shul” phenomenon that is now common in Crown Heights. “Boys fill important leadership roles—from shliach tzibur, baal koreh, and gabbai,” says Rabbi Moshe Silman, Menahel of the Mesivta. “They’re learning skills that will help them succeed in their futures, whether in business or shlichus.”

40 COLlive Magazine

A new class, Shiur Hey, has been added to Oholei Torah Beis Medrash (Zal). “Students like school so much, they don’t want to leave,” says Rabbi Avrohom Chaim Stern, Menahel of Shiur Hey, only slightly kidding. A first for Chabad yeshivos around the world, bochurim can now spend an extra year learning before embarking on their future plans. The fifteen students who are currently learning “set an example for the entire school,” Rabbi Stern says.

Oholei Torah may have close to two thousand students, but every student’s success is important, emphasizes the Director Rabbi Sholom Rosenfeld.

“We’re always trying to improve our program to impact every neshama.”

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 41

SPECIAL DISCOUNT FOR THE

KINUS PRESENT THIS AD AND RECEIVE

15

% OFF

15% off on cash and Carry. 12% Off for credit cards

317 Kingston Ave. Tel: (718)756-2999 E-mail: kahans317@GMAIL.com CHECK US OUT AT

Expires &EBUUARY , 20

www.kahansKOSHER.com

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 42

FIRST PERSON

“AMERICA IS NO DIFFERENT” AND THE STORY OF THE COUPLE WHO BUILT A LARGE FRUM FAMILY Adapted by Rabbi Zalman Goldstein

a

difficult decision lay before the parents of Hinda Golda Winter, a

young teenage girl living in the town Premishlan, Galicia in the early 1900’s.

a Jewish family.

When the First World War broke out in 1914, Yehoshua was drafted into the Polish army and served in the army for several years traveling

described to his family the vicious anti-Semitism he experienced among the Poles during his time in the Polish army. “There is no future for us Jews in Europe,” he wept.

True to his words, he soon set

As was customary in those

throughout Poland. Through

days, her parents betrothed

merciful divine providence, he

her to her cousin Yehoshua

managed to return home

Winter whose family lived

intact physically and spiritually,

nearby while they were both

yet he brought with him a

After spending several months

young children, and she

new determination.

exploring various Jewish

excitedly awaited the day they would marry and begin raising

42 COLlive Magazine

Back in Premishlan, Yehoshua

off for America, hoping to find a haven in which to build his future.

communities, Yehoshua made his decision to set roots in the

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 43

safety of America and wrote

the rabbi’s relatives, the Rov of

home to his fiancée, Hinda,

Laslow, Rabbi Yoel Halprin,

asking her to join him,

who was passing through

enclosing the necessary visa

town. They hurried up to him.

travel documents and tickets

“Please help us get an

for passage.

audience with the rabbi, today is the final day for us to make

Hinda's parents were not

a decision of great

thrilled letting their daughter

importance, we must see

travel halfway across the

him!” they implored.

world, above all fearing for her spiritual welfare if she were to

Soon after the door opened, and they were ushered into

live in what has been called

the rabbi’s holy study. Inside

the Land of the Free. As the

they unburdened their hearts

expiration dates of the travel

to the rabbi and spoke of their

documents neared, they

worries about sending their

decided to put the question to

daughter to far away America

and all its attendant risks.

The rabbi turned to Hinda and asked, “What do you say?

What would you like to do?”

“I will follow whatever the Rabbi advises,” she replied.

Hearing this, the rabbi rose from his seat, “I say she should go to America. This is a woman who will maintain her spirituality at all times and in all places. With the Almighty’s help she will succeed in her marriage and raise a G-d fearing and upstanding family.”

Rabbi Avraham Halprin, known then as the Breszhan Rov who arrived in Lemberg after the war and got to know the family.

The parents and Hinda made their way to the rabbi’s synagogue, arriving a couple of hours after morning prayers.

The rabbi was in his study, still adorned in his Tallis and Tefillin and deep in his holy books. The family decided to sit and wait until the rabbi would emerge so they could seek his advice and blessing.

But the hours passed, and the door through which he received visitors remained closed.

Suddenly they noticed one of

The letter that the Frierdiker Rebbe sent to the R' Yehoshua and Hinda Winter upon their move to Pittsburgh

Shevat 5780 Edition

43

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 44

FIRST PERSON

“THIS IS A WOMAN WHO WILL MAINTAIN HER SPIRITUALITY AT ALL TIMES & IN ALL PLACES” With the rabbi’s assurance and heartfelt blessing, and their worry dissipated, they saw Hinda off to America at the port that very day.

and Hinda Winter.

“Tell me,” Rabbi Yoel asked the couple, “How, indeed, were you able to stay true to our traditions in America?”

The couple shared that the first few years were indeed very challenging. Finding a livelihood that allowed one to observe the Shabbos was impossible at the time, so Yehoshua decided to peddle various electronic wares, such as ironing equipment, door-to-

After some time, anti-Semitism

door, and while they barely

in Poland continued to

managed to scrape by, they

increase, as was sadly

were able to keep Shabbos

predicted, and as the ravages

properly.

of the Holocaust swept through their hometown, the entire family was wiped out save for the daughter and cousin who fled to the safety of America in the nick of time.

As their children grew, the

strengthening and establishing religious infrastructure throughout the major cities of America.

The dedicated couple enrolled their children in the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s yeshivos and this is how they were able to not only survive in assimilated America but also thrive, creating endless dynasties from their steadfast faith and devotion. Indeed, each of their children, Sarah Feigelstock, Chana Goldstein, Freida Korf, Ethel Biston, Chaya Gansburg and Yankel Winter went on to establish large families in the light and spirit of Torah. n

couple worried about appropriate Jewish schooling.

Around that time, they heard about a rabbi who recently arrived from Russia

Following the war, the Rov of

proclaiming, “America is no

Yaslow, Rabbi Yoel Halprin,

different!” assuring immigrants

managed to escape the claw of

that America will become a

the Nazis and made his way to

thriving place of Torah living.

America. Arriving in Pittsburgh,

This turned out to be the sixth

he inquired about kosher

Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi

lodging and was directed to a

Yosef Yitzchok Schneerson.

certain home that opened their

Through great miracles, he

doors to all travelers with grace

escaped from war-torn Warsaw

and generosity.

to America, and though

Much to his surprise, the young hosts were Yehoshua

44 COLlive Magazine

R' Alter Yehoshua and Hinda Golda Winter

broken physically, he was radiant spiritually and immediately set about

Their children (from right to left) Chana Goldstein, Sarah Feigelstock and Yankel Winter

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 45

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 46

MEDICAL CALLING An urgent eye surgery brought Rabbi Avraham Lider to the United States at a young age and has given him a reason to stay with a lifelong pursuit Lider assisting a patient with Teffilin

By Libby Herz Avraham Lider was 14 years old when he first stepped foot on American soil. Hailing from Jerusalem, he and his father did not have family in America and did not speak English. They traveled to visit a highly qualified eye surgeon.

“My father was in danger of losing his eye and a complicated eye surgery was the only way to save it,” Lider recalls.

Rabbi Lider, 2015

46 COLlive Magazine

When the Liders stepped off the plane, they felt alone - but that feeling did not last long.

Volunteers of the Rivkah Laufer Bikur Cholim of Flatbush soon found them and helped them both. “They did chesed with such love, and I dreamed that when I would grow up, I would do this type of chesed too,” he says. The eye surgery was a success, and Rabbi Lider and his father returned to Jerusalem.

Years later, Rabbi Lider married a Brooklyn native and the couple settled in Crown Heights.

He was working as a Pre-1A rebbi at Oholei Torah when he was asked to assist an elderly and childless couple who was in a bind. The husband was hospitalized, and his wife was bedridden at home. The Chaya Mushka Bikur Cholim of Crown Heights knew of Rabbi Lider’s fondness for helping those in need, and asked him to reach out to the couple. Rabbi Lider made a few phone calls and soon secured care for both the husband and wife. “After that,” he

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 47

CHESED

says, “the phone didn’t stop ringing.”

Rabbi Lider began helping more patients, and the demand for help quickly soared. “I saw how much could be accomplished,” he says. Rabbi Lider went to kos shel brocha to ask the Rebbe for a bocha for the many patients with whom he worked. “The Rebbe gave me a big smile,” he says. “The Rebbe said, ‘they should have a yeshuah b’karov.’”

Shortly afterward, Rabbi Lider left his job as a rebbi and began fulfilling his childhood dream of opening his own chesed organization. In 1995, Ahavas Chesed was founded as a medical assistance organization catering to the Crown Heights community and Shluchim worldwide.

Ahavas Chesed offers medical transportation, emergency medical assistance, medical supplies gemach, blood drives, medical advice and referrals, and kosher meals. Their emergency hotline is open 24/7 and their WhatsApp group connects medical patients and their families with desperately needed assistance.

The Rebbe deeply impacted Rabbi Lider’s outlook on running Ahavas Chesed. “After my father passed away, I went to yechidus with my mother. My mother was crying hysterically. The Rebbe smiled at her. “I want to hear good things,” the Rebbe said. This message comforted Lider’s mother, and it deeply impacted Lider, as well. “I learned that people should always remember the good things in their lives.”

At Ahavas Chesed, patients and their loved ones are treated like family and their spiritual needs

Lider with a group of blood donors at the monthly Ahavas Chased Blood drive

Lider going by the Lubavitcher Rebbe for Kos Shel Bracha

Shevat 5780 Edition

47

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 48

THEY DID CHESED WITH SUCH LOVE, I DREAMED THAT WHEN I WOULD GROW UP, I WOULD DO THIS TYPE OF CHESED TOO. are met alongside their material needs. Seven years ago, Daniel, a non-observant Jew, was in desperate need of a kidney transplant. When Ahavas Chesed was approached, they swiftly posted flyers and sent messages seeking kidney donors. At last, they were able to find a perfect match for Daniel. Ultimately, the operation was a success; but Rabbi Lider’s concern did not stop there. He also raised funds to buy Daniel his first pair of tefillin. Years later, Rabbi Lider calls the family on a regular basis just to see how they are doing. The conversation sounds familiar and warm: “How are you? How are the children?” Daniel and each of the family members speak with Rabbi Lider, keeping him up to date on their daily lives and reassuring him that they are well. To this day, Daniel remains healthy, and he continues to don tefillin daily. His

Photo courtesy of JEM

Lider with a longtime supporter of Ahavas Chesed, Mr. Yossi Popack

48 COLlive Magazine

wife continues to keep a kosher kitchen.

In addition to finding the best care for patients, Rabbi Lider is known for having strong connections with a seemingly endless list of specialists. He attributes his success to the Rebbe. “When people would ask the Rebbe for help with medical issues, the Rebbe often advised them to consult with a ‘Rofeh Yedid’ - a doctor who is also a friend. I put a lot of effort into this area and with all the doctors I work with.”

Rabbi Lider recruits doctors on a regular basis and has formed close relationships with many of them. “I really get to know them and we even have shiurim together,” he says. He has a Whatsapp group called Doctors of Chessed. “If someone is on Medicaid, I will give them a doctor who is a leader in the field. Not only that, they can see the doctor free of charge.”

Over the years, Ahavas Chesed has helped thousands of Jews from various backgrounds.

Twenty-eight years ago, a twelve-year-old Jewish girl named Nancy was in a major bus accident. She was taken to Kings County

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 49

KINUS HASHLUCHIM Hospital where doctors proclaimed her condition to be critical. Her parents approached Rabbi Lider with tear-stained faces. “I told them tracht gut, vet zein gut,” Rabbi Lider recalls. He helped the family as best as he could, and he even had his students in Oholei Torah say tehillim for Nancy.

One Sunday, Rabbi Lider took Nancy’s parents, who were not observant, to the Rebbe for dollars. “I told the Rebbe, ‘they need a blessing for a Refuah Shleima for their daughter who had a major accident.’” The Rebbe smiled at Nancy’s mother and gave her three dollars, along with three brochos: “She should have a Refuah shleima; Azkir al hatzion; and she should be a pretty kallah.”

brocha to be a pretty kallah.” Nancy married a frum boy from Lakewood. She has three children, and she covers her hair. “I gave her gashmius,” says Rabbi Lider, “and it became ruchnius.”

Today, Ahavas Chesed has over 200 volunteers.

The organization boasts a satellite branch in Jerusalem run by Rabbi Israel Cohen. They have an active WhatsApp group with people asking and receiving help within seconds. At 3:47 PM a message reads: “Anyone have a contact for a good GI doctor in or around the Brooklyn area?

Please PM, thank you.” The text is followed at 3:49 PM with: “I have one in Manhattan.” The WhatsApp messages pertain to doctor's referrals, advice for emergency situations, medical contacts, and more.

Although more individuals volunteer To volunteer or donate to their time to help the Ahavas Chesed, please visit organization every day, chesedcenter.org. You can also add 917-246-7856 and “Ahavas Chesed more volunteers are Group” to your contacts. The Ahavas still needed. “I visit Chesed 24/7 hotline can be reached patients and their at 718-221-2424. families in the hospital, and drive people to and from medical providers,” says Devory, a volunteer from Crown “Two weeks later,” says Rabbi Lider, “Nancy Heights. Other volunteers donate money so that opened her eyes. On Chanukah, I was lighting Ahavas Chesed can continue their critical work. the menorah and there was a knock on my door. I opened it and was shocked to see The organization relies upon the philanthropy of Nancy and her parents standing there!” community members. Ahavas Chesed thanks Unfortunately, Nancy showed no signs of recovery. In fact, on Erev Shavuos the doctors at Kings County gave up on her, and they moved her from the ICU in order to make space for other patients. She was transferred to NYU.

Years passed, and Rabbi Lider had all but forgotten the young Nancy. But ten years after the accident, he received a wedding invitation in the mail. “The wedding was to take place in a Sefardi shul, and I didn’t know many Sefardi families. I didn’t even recognize the names on the invitation. The kallah’s name was Nancy Markowitz. Suddenly, it dawned on me that this was the little girl who had received the Rebbe’s

Yosef Yitzchak and Batsheva Popack for their generosity and support which supports the medical supplies gemach, and enables Ahavas Chesed to give out approximately 7,200 meal coupons for any community member in need of a warm meal. “There is so much chesed to do in our community,” says Rabbi Lider. “We need your help because we cannot do it alone.”

Shevat 5780 Edition

49

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 50

ASK THE THERAPIST

WITH RABBI DANIEL SCHONBUCH, LMFT

Dear Rabbi Schonbuch, I’m a 32 year single Orthodox woman living in New York and I’m having trouble getting married. I’ve dated over 40 guys and never felt that I found the right one. What should I do?

— Why Am I Not Married Yet? helping singles get married,

psychology, I understand the

that about half of my clients

dynamics of singles who have

Unfortunately, the question

every week are in a similar

spent years dating numerous

you asked is not so

position that you are in today.

people but are unable to

Dear Reader,

uncommon. In fact, I would

close the deal. Let me share

say, as a marriage and family

Due to my knowledge of

therapist who deals with

family and relational

50 COLlive Magazine

with you one of the most

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 51

ADVICE profound insights I learned as

revealed in childhood and

If the child had a mother who

a therapist and I have shared

years later when the child

was worried and preoccupied

with hundreds of young

grows into and adult and

with problems such as

professionals who I have

engages in an affectionate or

emotional distress, poverty,

helped to get married over

romantic relationship. The

violence, divorce etc., the

the last decade.

three types of attachment are

child becomes anxiously

Secure, Anxious, and

attached. That anxious

One of the greatest

Avoidant Attachment. Let’s

attachment will be revealed

psychologists - and at the

briefly review all three.

in early adulthood when,

same time one of the most

trying to be involved in a

unknown personalities - of

Secure attachment comes

relationship, she finds herself

the 20th century is John

from having a mother who is

constantly worried if she is

“the same child who experienced secure attachment as a child will more easily be able to experience safe and secure attachment with their spouse” Bowlby. Over 60 years ago,

affectionate and bonds easily

“really” loved by her spouse

Bowlby developed one of the

with her child whether a boy

or fiancé. She will obsess

most insightful concepts in

or a girl. This mother is

about being loved and notice

relational psychology called

caring, giving, and highly

any changes in texting

“Attachment Theory”. This

empathetic. More

patterns or when her spouse

theory is built upon watching

importantly, the mother

won’t return her messages or

thousands of mothers and

listens to her child’s feelings,

will come home late by a few

babies interact and seeing

making the child feel secure.

minutes.

how they bond or fail to

What Bowlby noticed is that

connect.

the same child who

The third type of attachment

experienced secure

is called Avoidant

Most importantly, Bowlby

attachment as a child will

Attachment. This emerges

studied what happens to

more easily be able to

from a mother who was

those children 20 or 30 years

experience safe and secure

emotionally distant and

later. He noticed that there

attachment with their spouse.

possibly abusive. That child

are three types of attachment

This means they will have an

will be uncomfortable with

styles between mothers and

easier time of getting and

getting close to someone

children which will be

staying married.

and will avoid close

Shevat 5780 Edition

51

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 52

attachment, especially when it

person they are dating feeling

difficulties that are not

comes to getting married.

bewildered. Others, will spend

attachment related and need

Starting during childhood the

many months or years with the

to be looked into. However, if

avoidantly attached individual

avoidantly attached person

they are based on an avoidant

reasons to himself, “If ask my

blaming themselves thinking

attachment style, attachment-

mother for what I need

that there’s something wrong

based therapy will help you

emotionally or physically, I will

with them and not the

understand your issues and

only be met with rejection, so

avoidant. They may even give

guide you on how to move

it’s better to not ask for my

up the most precious years of

on.

needs”. As well, he will find it

their life trying to make

very difficult to enter into a

somebody happy but never

through, there is help. I

long-term and committed relationship, especially with someone whom he may depend on and have to ask for his own needs. This is true for both men and women.

As a therapist, I believe that most serial daters are people who have suffered with avoidant attachment for many years. Many of them have dated 30 or even 70 people, yet still find it difficult to get married. The reason Is that

“The reason Is that when they start getting close to someone their attachment system sends off an alarm that says “don’t open up because you’ll be hurt’”

when they start getting close to someone their attachment

feel they are responded to in

system sends off an alarm that

kind.

says “don’t open up because you’ll be hurt.” In order to

Of course, I have not met you,

avoid that feeling they will pull

and I’m not sure of your

back, especially when things

attachment style. It is possible

are going well, leaving the

that you are having other

52 COLlive Magazine

Despite what you are going suggest you read a fantastic book on attachment theory for singles called “Attached” by Dr. Amir Levine. Or if necessary, please call me to make an appointment.

Please send any questions you have about dating and marriage to Rabbi Schonbach at rabbischonbuch@yahoo.com. n

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) is renowned for improving the emotional lives of individuals, couples and families. He is the author of 4 books.

He can be reached at www.ItWillBeGood.com or 646-428-4723.

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:04 PM Page 53

HEALTH

By Sara Chana Silverstein

FLOWERS DON'T JUST LOOK AND SMELL GOOD. HASHEM EMBEDDED THEM WITH AMAZING HEALING ABILITIES.

Spring is in the air, and right around the corner flowers will begin to bloom. Flowers not only look pretty and smell fantastic but have been used for generations to make medication by people all over the world.

Jewish women would go out into the fields in the Spring and gather plants, make them into tinctures, oils, salves and vinegar. Flowers have a very short life so once they bloom herbalists take the petals and buds and quickly make them into botanical medicine. The flowers were placed in oils, vinegar, glycerites, grain alcohol or made into salves to preserve their beneficial properties.

Studies show that when someone is given flowers, no matter their gender or age, they get a rush of feel-good hormones and make people smile. Flowers have a powerful effect on our emotional and physical health. Herbalists know that when taken internally, flowers can help our psyche and our physical bodies.

Here's an intro into common flowers (many grow naturally in Crown Heights) and their healing abilities:

Shevat 5780 Edition

53

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:05 PM Page 54

Calendula: A member of the daisy family more commonly known as pot marigold. It grows naturally in the abandoned lot on the corner of Albany and Union. Traditionally, preparations made from the flowers are used to treat minor wounds, acne and other skin conditions. It is one of our greatest wound healers. It also helps with athletes' foot.

Taken as a tea it helps heal the stomach and intestines.

Chamomile: A bright yellow flower that grows naturally in upstate New York. This herb has been used as a tea for generations to help calm the stomach, indigestion, diarrhea and other gastrointestinal complaints. It is also helpful for our minds calming and soothing over-thinkers and helping them attain a deeper sleep. It is in the ragweed family so some people with severe seasonal allergies should choose another herb.

Externally, chamomile in a salve can help with various skin conditions that get red and inflamed.

54 COLlive Magazine

Dandelion Flowers: Grows on every lawn in Crown Heights. It is considered a weed but herbalists love this flower. The flowers are edible and the petals are delicious mixed into pancake batter. When infused in an oil, this flower is used as a massage oil to combat muscle pain. If you rub this oil on a skin tag for a few months the tag will shrink and fall off.

spring and red berries in the fall. Both the flowers and the berries are used worldwide to strengthen the heart and increase circulation. It helps to naturally lower blood pressure for those who are border-line, not yet needing medication.

Lavender:

Grows all over Brooklyn.

Although the flowers are used as a medicine, their roots have the most medicinal powers.

Echinacea is used to help balance the immune system. It is famous worldwide to help with sore throats, colds and the flu.

Planted in many gardens in Crown Heights. Keep your eyes open for this lovely purple flower as it has long been used in aromatherapy as an essential oil that helps people relax and manage stress, anxiety and difficulty sleeping. Lavender oil also has anti-inflammatory and antiseptic benefits as a topical treatment and is used in blends for burns on the skin.

What most people do not know is its ability to help with 'stuck-sadness.' If you went through a trauma and are having trouble 'letting-go', try drinking some lavender tea daily.

(Do not take the essential oil internally).

Hawthorne:

Linden:

This bush/tree grows all over Brooklyn (my favorite one is at the traffic circle on your way from Boro Park back to Crown Heights. You can see a Hawthorne tree to the left before you see the tennis courts). Hawthorne is part of the rose family and has stunning flowers in the

Made from the flowers of the linden trees which grow on President Street, between Brooklyn and New York. In the spring, when the flower blooms, the scent is

Echinacea:

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:05 PM Page 55

intoxicating. Stand under the tree and inhale (it's better than perfume!) This is a popular tea in France served after meals to help with digestion. In tincture form, it relieves stress and anxiety and is one of our best herbs for our heart health.

Passionflower: Grows all over Brooklyn and one of the most exotic and most interesting flowers on the planet. This flower is used to help people with insomnia to fall asleep easier and sleep deeper.

These flowers are also used for treating anxiety and panic.

Rose: Planted all over Crown Heights.

All wild rose petals are edible and can be used in baking (not the ones from the florists as they have added pesticides and coloring). The petals are often candied, and rose water is added to cakes and cookies all over the world.

Rose petals, drank in a tea, can help repair broken hearts. It is one of the best teas for people to drink after experiencing a trauma, be it emotional or physical. Also, rose petals can help increase circulation, fight depression and anxiety, relieve infections and combat viruses.

In the essential oil form, mixed with a carrier oil, it can help repair broken blood vessels.

The next time you walk down the streets of Crown Heights and see the flowers blooming, realize that Hashem has given these amazing colors for our eyes, their exquisite smells for our noses, and they can help us with anxiety, stress, to build our immune systems and strengthen our hearts.

Sara Chana Silverstein, IBCLC, RH (AHG) is the only frum Master Herbalist in the United States. She has been featured in international media teaching people how to safely integrate alternative medicine with conventional medicine. She is also a Lactation Consultant and has helped over 28,000 babies nurse.

Her book, “MOODTOPIA: Tame your moods, de-stress and find balance using herbal remedies, aromatherapy and more� has been a bestseller on Amazon.com. She can be reached at moodtopiabook@gmail.com

Shevat 5780 Edition

55

HAMANTASCHEN extravaganza

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:05 PM Page 56

Nina Safar is the food blogger behind kosherinthekitch.com and cookbook author of The Simply Kosher Cookbook.

Follow her online for super simple seriously tasty recipes @kosherinthekitch

Hamantaschen should be as fun and colorful as the holiday we eat them on. Forget classic fillings like apricot and prune, and be more adventurous when baking the three cornered pastry. I enjoy using non traditional ingredients to give the standard dish a fun and festive makeover.

56 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:05 PM Page 57

RECIPES

BBQ CHICKEN PIZZA HAMANTASCHEN These bite sized bbq chicken pizza hamantaschen take minutes to prep and are ready in about 10 minutes making it the perfect snack or appetizer to serve on Purim.

INGREDIENTS: 20 mini pizza doughs 1 rotisserie chicken 1 cup bbq sauce

POP TART HAMANTASCHEN

Cilantro for garnish, optional My childhood dreams are alive with these pop

DIRECTIONS:

tart inspired hamantaschen. Crispy flakey

Shred rotisserie chicken using a knife or two

sprinkled frosting these are a a crowd pleaser

forks. Combine chicken and bbq sauce. Place a

for both adults and children alike.

tablespoon of chicken in center of pizza dough.

Fold over left side, then right side pinching the corners together. Bring up the bottom to seal the triangle. Bake on 350 for 12 to 15 minutes or until dough is cooked through and slightly crispy.

Optional:garnish with additional bbq sauce and chopped cilantro.

dough stuffed with sweet jam, topped with

Servings: About 12

INGREDIENTS: 2 tablespoons ground flax seed combined with 6 tablespoons water (if you want classic dough and not vegan, replace the flax seed water mixture with two eggs) 1/2 cup oil 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2/3 cup sugar 2 teaspoon baking powder 2 1/2 cups flour 1 cup raspberry Jam (or your fav flavor!)

Frosting (recipe below) Sprinkles for decorating

Shevat 5780 Edition

57

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:05 PM Page 58

FROSTING: 3/4 cup powdered sugar 1 tablespoon almond milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extrac

DIRECTIONS: t

Cream together flax seed water mixture, sugar, oil, and vanilla. Slowly add flour and baking powder. Mix together. The dough might be crumbly, use your hands to smooth it out and combine it. Roll out dough on floured surface.

Cut out triangles using a triangle cookie cutter.

If you do not have a triangle shaped cookie cutter, trace out a bunch of hexagons connected then cut them out to create triangles. Fill center of triangle with 1/2 tsp. jam then cover with another triangle gently pressing

FRUITY PEBBLES HAMANTASCHEN Pastry dough studded with colorful crispy fruity pebbles will bring both the kids and adults to the table.

the edges down. Using a fork crimp the edges

Servings: about 20 hamantaschen

down all around. Bake on 350 for about 15 minutes. Once cookies have cooled off,

INGREDIENTS:

combine frosting ingredients and frost the

2 eggs

center of each triangle and immediately place sprinkles on top before the frosting hardens.

1 teaspoon vanilla 1/2 cup oil 2/3 cup sugar 2 teaspoon baking powder 2 1/2 cups flour 1/2 cup fruity pebbles plus more for decorating Strawberry jam for filling

DIRECTIONS: Cream together sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla.

Slowly add flour and baking powder. Mix together. Add fruity pebbles and combine with dough. Roll out dough on floured surface (about

58 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:05 PM Page 59

1/4 to 1/8 thick. Not too thick since then the circles are hard to shape and will open up. Not too thin since then it will rip when shaping or filling) If the dough is slightly sticky rolling it out on floured surface will help smooth it out. Cut out circles using a large circle cookie cutter or the rim of a large glass cup or mason jar. Fill center of circle with strawberry jam (about 1/2 tsp to 1 tsp) and bake on 350 for 12 to 15 minutes depending on how soft or crispy you want them. I like them super soft so took them out around 10 to 12 minutes. Once hamantaschen have cooled off drizzle melted white chocolate or icing on top. (icing is powdered sugar with water or milk mixed together until you have desired consistency) Immediately top with fruity pebbles.

HOW TO SHAPE HAMANTASHEN Place filling in center than slowly fold over one side. Then the next and finally bring the bottom on top.

Gently pinch the corners. You can also simply bring up the sides, forming a triangle by pinching the corners together.

EGG ROLL HAMANTASCHEN These mini egg roll hamantaschen are perfect the appetizer for your Purim meal or can be served throughout the day as a savory snack.

INGREDIENTS: 1 teaspoon corn starch mixed with 2 tablespoon water 1 teaspoon sherry wine 3 teaspoon soy sauce 3 cups cole slaw mix 1 inch piece of ginger shredded 2 green onions diced, for serving Egg roll wrappers

DIRECTIONS: Heat up pan with some oil then stir in cole slaw mix. Add sherry and soy sauce and combine. Add corn starch mixture and stir together. Add ginger and combine together. Heat through. Using a mason jar cut out circles in egg roll wrappers (1 egg roll wrapper yields 4 circles) Place a teaspoon of batter in center of circle then using water, wet the corners and pinch together creating a triangle hamantaschen shape. Place on greased baking sheet. Cook on 350 for about 12 minutes until crispy. Serve with sweet chili sauce or duck sauce.

Shevat 5780 Edition

59

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:05 PM Page 60

ALENBI

Crown Heights Kosher Food Guide

by Gegent.com

Kosher restaurant presenting refined Israeli plates in a chic, modern space with large windows.

Kosher Certification: OK 887 Nostrand Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11225 Phone: (347) 529-3739

Albany Bakery 339 Albany Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 778-1733

Almah Cafe Kosher Coffeehouse and bakeshop Kosher Certification: CHK 87 Utica Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (347) 533-6494

BAKERIE Modern bakery for kosher breads, sweets & daytime noshes with housemade spreads & coffee.

Kosher Certification: OK Kosher 252 Albany Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 693-8248

Baguette Express Israeli style falafel, shwarma and sandwiches.

Kosher Certification: CHK 250 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11230 Phone: (718) 484-7814

Basil Pizza & Wine Bar Kosher pizzeria & wine bar offering wood-fired pies & other Italian fare in a homey-sleek setting.

Kosher Certification: OU 270 Kingston Av, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 285-8777

Boeuf & Bun Innovative, handcrafted burgers pair with a variety of craft beers at this upbeat locale.

Kosher Certification: CHK 271 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 221-8900 60 COLlive Magazine

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:05 PM Page 61

Benny’s Brick Oven Pizza Dark wood & exposed brick adorn the interior of this upmarket pizzeria with specialty slices.

Kosher Certification: OK 419 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11230 Phone: (718) 484-4817

Brooklyn Artisan Bakehouse Rustic decor, down to earth ambiance and flavorful menu.

Kosher Certification: OK 529 E New York Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11225 Phone: (347) 292-1382

Bunch-O-Bagels Cafe offering bagels plus a roster of entrees, omelets, salads, sandwiches & pasta dishes.

Kosher Certification: OK 361 Troy Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 604-0634

Gruit A neighborhood restaurant & garden with a modern American kitchen and strong focus on seasonality & cocktails.

Kosher Certification: OK Kosher 252 Empire Blvd, Brooklyn, NY 11225 Phone: (347) 846-0622

Holesome Bagels Bustling shop offering house-baked bagels, breakfast, sandwiches, pizza & salads.

Kosher Certification: CHK 333 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (347) 955-5300

Izzy’s BBQ Smokehouse Kosher BYOB barbecue restaurant serving platters, sandwiches, sides & desserts in hip digs.

Kosher Certification: OK 397 Troy Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (347) 425-0524

Chocolatte Bright & Modern cafe in crown heights, free WiFi Open 24 hours.

Kosher Certification: CHK 792 Eastern Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11213

Empire Grill Full-service eatery for an assortment of sandwiches, & Chinese food.

Kosher Certification: CHK 597 Empire Blvd, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 221-8579

Ess And Bentch Offering hot dogs, shnitzel, sandwiches and french fries Kosher Certification: CHK 313 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 705-7770

Gombo’s Heimishe Bakery Counter-serve bakery specializing in jelly doughnuts, plus other sweets, sandwiches & coffee.

328 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 771-7701

Izzy’s Fried Chicken With fried chicken and waffles and fish and grits, Izzys Fried Chicken serves southern comfort and soul food.

Kosher Certification: OK 262 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 925-2242

Izzy’s Taqueria Kosher restaurant serving Mexican cuisine next door to the flagship izzy’s BBQ. Kosher Certification: OK 399 Troy Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 975-2295

Kingston Bake Shop Kosher Certification: CHK 380 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11225 Phone: (718) 467-2047

Koshertown Cafe Kosher Certification: CHK 469 Albany Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213

Kislev 5780 Edition

61

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:06 PM Page 62

MEAT

Sauce N Cheese

MEAT is where food and design meet.

Extremely elegant restaurant featuring modern Mediterranean cuisine.

Kosher Certification: OU 123 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (516) 888-1730

Stop-in kosher pizzeria offering slices, calzones & salads in a simple counter-serve setting.

Kosher Certification: CHK 509 Albany Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11203 Phone: (347) 425-1450

Mendy’s Mendy’s Deli is the place to go for burger, a delicious steak,or a heAvenly sandwich.

Kosher Certification: CHK 792 Eastern Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 907-8877

Deli & Home-style Jewish Food Kosher Certification:CHK 351 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 778-3100

Mozzarella Fine Dining Dairy establishment conveniently located in Crown Heights.

Kosher Certification: CHK 265 Troy Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (917) 633-6770

Noribar High quality Sushi meals using fresh ingredients and skilled preparation techniques.

Kosher Certification: CHK 326 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (347) 913-8888

Prime Avenue Prime Avenue offers a delicious global menu that includes schnitzel sandwiches & Chinese dishes.

Kosher Certification: CHK 377 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 576-6665

62 COLlive Magazine

Sushi Spot Snug storefront offering both basic & specialty kosher sushi rolls for delivery & curb-side pickup.

Kosher Certification: CHK 426 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11225 Phone: (718) 756-4040

Sweet Expressions Ice cream shop, candies, chocolates and sweets Hot and cold shakes and smoothies.

310 Kingston Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213 Phone: (718) 613-0188

takeout

Mermelstein’s

Dovid Malka 1552 Carroll Street 718-773-2335

Koshertown 469 Albany Ave phone 718-778-6171

The Marketplace 589 E New York Ave phone (718) 363-1300

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:20 PM Page 63

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:06 PM Page 64

Hot and

I didn’t get my cold on purpose. I got it from my kids, who got it from school, I think. My wife

and I are competing who has it worse. And then my mother-in-law caught wind of our condition.

BY MORDECHAI SCHMUTTER

I’ve been thinking a lot about

letter vav, so he came home

for colds, because I have

the common cold lately

with a virus. They get it in

deadlines. They say that half the

because that’s what you do

school, which means that

cause of colds is stress, and

when you have a cold – you lie

someone came to school with a

taking off of work to get better

there and think. Not all of it is

cold, and then we have to keep

is not going to relieve any of my

lucid.

our kids home, so they don’t

stress.

You believe me, right? Every

give it back to the kids who gave it to them, I guess. They

But this time, I can’t ignore it. I

have to give it to us.

got sick on Thursday afternoon,

Especially if I cough in the

So now my wife and I have it.

Motzoei Shabbos. So I have to

middle. That makes it worse.

Who has it worse? That’s the big

lay there and try to get better.

question. My wife and I are

And also somehow make

constantly competing about it.

Shabbos.

time I try to tell someone I have a cold, they think I’m faking.

I didn’t get my cold on purpose.

I got it from my kids, who got it from school, I think. These kids pick up the weirdest things in school. We send them there to get culture, and they’re bringing home the wrong kind. You’d think that for all that money, someone would teach them the difference.

I don’t know which kid brought it home originally. The kids kind of all got it at once. For all I know, it was my 3-year old, whose playgroup is up to the

64 COLlive Magazine

And we do it at the worst times.

One of our kids knocks on our bedroom door to tell us that we have to get up and drive them to school, and my wife turns to me and goes, “I’ve been up half the night,”, and I say, “Every time I cough, it gives me a headache,” and she says, “Well, my coughcoughcoughblegh.”

I don’t usually do this. Most of the time when I have a cold, I try to ignore it. I don’t have time

and I have a stand-up gig on

I don’t know what I’m going to do about Motzoei Shabbos. I can’t stand up there for an entire hour without coughing or blowing my nose. There’s nowhere to put the mike down, so I’m blowing my nose directly into the mike.

But on the other hand, my material is all written, so I can just have someone else read it aloud while I sit off to the side and blow my nose. I’m sure

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:06 PM Page 65

nd Cold

HUMOR

everyone will agree that’s worth

We, as a family, have been

But I’m not just spending all day

the price of admission, right?

going through thousands of

trying to teach my kid to blow

tissues a day. There are

his nose. I’m also trying to get

mountains of dirty tissues all

some sleep. This isn’t easy. I

over the house. My wife

went back to bed on Friday

recently bought a Costco-sized

morning, and kept having

case of tissues, from Costco,

dreams that I was getting up

and we’re plowing through it,

and accomplishing things --

making plow noises as we go. It

cooking, cleaning, memorizing

definitely doesn’t help that my

comedy. And then I woke up,

3-year-old does not use a tissue

and said, “Oh. Well, I’m

for more than one swipe. He

definitely not feeling well

takes the tissue, touches it to

enough to do those things

the tip of his nose, and lays it on

again,” and went back to sleep.

I’m also going to have people wondering if they can shake my hand. When we were growing up, our mothers used to tell us, “Don’t cough out in the open!

Cough into your hand!” But then scientists discovered that most of us actually touch things with our hands, and that coughing directly into them was probably making things worse.

So now they’re saying to cough into your elbow.

So my thought is that it might be okay to come over and shake my hand. But I’d suggest against people coming over to me and doing the Mexican hat dance or a Russian folk dance or anything else that involves linking elbows.

But on the other hand, even though I’ve been coughing into my elbows, I’ve still been blowing my nose with my hands. It’s really hard to do that with your elbows.

And I’ve been blowing a lot.

top of the pile. And his nose is still runny.

My mother-in-law caught wind

How do you teach a 3-year-old

the phone.

to blow his nose? Because he hasn’t been learning by imitation. “Follow me,” I say.

And I make a noise like a panicked moose. And he laughs. But he can’t really see what I’m doing, because the tissue’s in the way. So then I give him a tissue and I say, “Blow,” and he blows. With his

of our condition. So she got on

“What kind of sick are you?” she wanted to know.

I don’t know what kind of sick I am. The kind where I don’t go to the doctor, and I just kind of wake up periodically and go, “Better yet? Nope. Back to sleep then.”

mouth. The bottom of the

“Well, is it a fever or a cold?”

tissue floats forward for a

she wants to know.

second. But other than that, the tissue is still pretty dry.

I don’t know the difference between those two when I’m

Shevat 5780 Edition

65

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:06 PM Page 66

HUMOR feeling well. They sound pretty similar to me.

for a cold, even with honey.

But I keep drinking tea. From

“Well, when you have a fever,

previous years’ shalach manos. I

you’re hot, and when you have

am so sick of tea.

a cold, you’re cold.”

I even got desperate enough to

turn somewhere and coming out, months later, at a really opportune time. Such as during the Seder.

“Did anyone ask for saltwater?”

Really? Then I have both. I go to

try salt water. Whenever I got

I did try Advil and Tylenol,

sleep freezing cold, wrapped in

sick growing up, my father

though. My wife keeps telling

several blankets and a hooded

always told me to gargle salt

me that they’re not medicines --

sweatshirt with the hood drawn

water. It’s supposed to help. I

just painkillers.

so tight that you just see a nose

think someone discovered it

sticking out. Then I wake up

once when he was sick at a

sweating, and go, “Where did

Pesach Seder, about three

all these blankets come from?”

hours before the chicken soup.

So she asks, “Well, what’s your temperature?” And I’m like, “I don’t know. I don’t take my own temperature. When I say I’m

But not just salt water. Warm salt water. And my feeling was

“What’s the difference?” I ask.

And she says, “Well, they don’t make you better; they just make you FEEL better.”

always, “Look, I’d rather be

And I say, “I think that’s what I

sick.”

want. To feel better.” I’m not really feeling well enough to

feeling lousy, I believe me. I

But today I was desperate

don’t have to prove it with

enough to try the salt water.

temperature. I don’t assume it’s

Although I waited so long that it

But the bad news is that as

just a ruse that I’m coming up

was cold.

soon as I finish writing this

with so I can stay home. I

care about the difference.

article, I’m going to wake up One thing that I still refuse to do

and realize I have to write it

is something called “nasal “Well, I can’t open my left eye,”

again. I don’t have time for that.

irrigation”, and not just because

my wife says.

I just spent all this time

of the name. It sounds like

sleeping.

WORK at home!”

“I can’t open either eye,” I say.

You know, because of the hoodie.

you’re planting things in there.

Like you’re going to end up with more nose hair, growing toward the sunlight. But

I’m definitely trying to feel

actually, it’s when, instead of

better, though. I’m drinking tea

drinking your warm salt water,

for my throat, for example. I

you pour it into one nostril --

don’t even like tea, and I have

using a small flowerpot, of

no tolerance for hot foods ever.

course -- and it somehow

I usually don’t even eat my soup

comes out of the other nostril.

until my wife says, “Okay, let’s

It’s like a really gross magic trick.

start serving the chicken.” And

I’m actually afraid of it getting

lukewarm tea is not that helpful

lost up there; taking a wrong

66 COLlive Magazine

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia, COLlive.com and other publications. He also has six books out and does stand-up comedy. He can be contacted at mschmutter@gmail.com

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:06 PM Page 67

Every ten years, the US Census counts everyone in the US

Now is the time for us to count!

Ten years ago, Crown Heights was one of the most undercounted areas in the country. The more people are counted in our community, the stronger our voice in the US, New York State and N.Y. City government, affecting:

• SUPPORT FOR ISRAEL • VOUCHERS FOR EDUCATION • POLICE COVERAGE ON THE STREET

On approximately March 12, 2020 (Erev Parshas Ki Sissa)

you will receive a mailing from the US Census Bureau and instructions on how to fill out your census form online.

Your census form helps our community voice get heard more clearly and affects decisions you care about, including representation, vital programs, and resources like parks, roads, and schools which all contribute to improved quality of life, here in Crown Heights.

• Every Head of household should complete the census online.

• Include every person living in your home • If your home has separate apartments or basements without their own address or apartment number, include ALL those residents as if they were part of your family • Information about your home is NOT given to the City of New York

Look for this logo in your mail:

A message from

Crown Heights Jewish Community Council

The CHJCC Census team will be available to help at www.chcentral.org/census

COLlive Mag Adar 2020 -- toiby monday night_Layout 1 2/11/2020 6:06 PM Page 68