Introduction
Emotions are the feelings we have about thoughts, events and situations that we experience.
Emotions occur in our brain, but they affect our body, what we think and how we behave. And it works both ways. What we think, how we behave and what happens in our body also affects our emotions.
It’s important to know that all feelings (even unpleasant ones) are OK and entirely normal. They provide us with useful information that can help us to make positive changes or get our needs met.
The aim of this book is to help you cope with the feelings that cause you distress. It will help you understand what is going on in your thoughts, mind and body when such feelings occur. It will also give you lots of positive ways to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Then you can choose the options that work best for you and begin to feel back in control.
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sadness frustration 3
disappointment jealousy worry
fear shyness anger
1 Negativity
Feeling negative is when we focus more on what is wrong, than what is right.
We are all born with something called a negativity bias. The reason our brain developed this way is because in prehistoric times, we always had to be on alert for danger (in case we got eaten by sabre-toothed tigers!).
Our negativity bias is why we remember someone telling us off more than praising us.
It’s why we think about friends who don’t want to play with us more than those that do. It’s why we think of the two spellings we got wrong, rather than the eight we got right.
The problem with focusing more on the things that are wrong is that it can stop us seeing all the things that have gone well, and doing this makes us unhappy. Focusing on negative things creates strong neural pathways in our brain which causes negative thinking to
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become a habit. In order to break that habit and replace it with a positive thinking habit, we should purposely focus on what goes well.
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What can help?
A gratitude journal
Start a gratitude journal. Every day, write down five cool things (this could be the weather, a compliment you received, a great book you have read). This focuses your attention on what went well and boosts your mood.
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Compliments jar
Grab a jam jar and make it your compliments jar!
Every time you get a compliment from someone, write it on a piece of paper, fold it up and pop it in your jar. When you find yourself thinking negatively, take out your jar and read something positive about yourself.
compliments
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