HEART TIMES www.aasknd.org
AASK - ADULTS ADOPTING SPECIAL KIDS
June 2013
Please Meet AUSTIN
This kind hearted teen boy’s name is Austin, and he is anxiously waiting for his forever home! Austin enjoys being outside and even helping with yard work! He is looking forward to summer and plans to spend time swimming and tubing at the lake. His typical day would be riding his bike and playing video games on his PlayStation! Austin is a big fan of Monster Trucks and NASCAR. Austin’s says his favorite food is steak and loves vegetables. He has been helping his foster parents with the garden a lot this summer! Austin enjoys being around animals, and wouldn’t mind if his forever family had either a cat, guinea pig, or a hamster! Austin enjoys going to school and will be in the 8th grade next fall. Through the help of an Individualized Education Plan, he is practicing his independence in completing assignments. An adoptive family must be willing to work with their school system to ensure that Austin’s educational needs are being met. Austin performs best when he is provided with a structured routine, as he does not have a concept of time. Although Austin prefers to do many activities on his own, he is looking for an adoptive family that will be there for him when he grows up and to travel with him. Austin enjoys being around adults and will seek them out over children his age. Austin has a close relationship with his foster family and hopes to keep this connection after adoption To get to know Austin better, please contact Sara Renfrew at Adults Adopting Special Kids 701-235-4457.
AASK is a collaborative program of Catholic Charities North Dakota and PATH
OUR MISSION AASK commits to building permancy for children from foster care through adoption by stable and nurturing families. 1
AASK Staff Contact Information Fargo
Catholic Charities North Dakota 5201 Bishops Boulevard – Suite B Fargo, North Dakota 58104 Phone: 701-235-4457 Toll Free: 877-551-6054 Fax: 701-356-7993 Chris Martin AASK Director 701-356-7986 cmartin@catholiccharitiesnd.org Sonja McLean AASK Program Supervisor 701-356-7987 smclean@catholiccharitiesnd.org Nancy Germain AASK Worker 701-356-8023 ngermain@catholiccharitiesnd.org Sara Renfrew AASK Worker/WWK Recruiter 701-356-8039 srenfrew@catholiccharitiesnd.org Alicia King AASK Worker 701-356-8026 aking@catholiccharitiesnd.org
Grand Forks
Catholic Charities North Dakota 311 South 4th Street – Suite 105 Grand Forks, North Dakota 58201 Dani Thompson AASK Worker 701-775-4196 dthompson@catholiccharitiesnd.org Andrea Olson AASK Worker 701-775-4196 aolson@catholiccharitiesnd.org
Minot
PATH ND, Inc. 1425 21st Ave NW Minot, North Dakota 58703 Phone: 701-839-8887 Fax: 701-839-8990
Nichole Fearing AASK Worker 701-839-8887 nfearing @catholiccharitiesnd.org Chantell Bergsrud AASK Worker 701-839-8887 cbergsrud@catholiccharitiesnd.org
Devils Lake
PATH ND, Inc. 1820 East Walnut Street – Suite 5 Devils Lake, North Dakota 58301 Phone: 701-662-4913 Fax: 701-662-4963 Deanne Johnson AASK Worker 701-662-4913 djohnson@pathinc.org
Bismarck
PATH ND, Inc. 418 East Broadway - Suite 25 Bismarck, North Dakota 58501 Phone: 701-224-6840 Fax: 701-224-9747 Joan Allen AASK Program Supervisor 701-224-6840 jallen@catholiccharitiesnd.org Kathy Watson AASK Worker 701-224-6840 kathy@catholiccharitiesnd.org
Dickinson
PATH ND, Inc. 135 Sims Street – Suite204 Dickinson, North Dakota 58601 Phone: 701-225-3310 Toll Free: 800-766-935
Sarah Bernstrom AASK Worker 701-356-7981 sbernstrom@catholiccharitiesnd.org
Nicky Besette AASK Worker 701-225-3310 nbesette@catholiccharitiesnd.org
Morgan Nerat AASK Worker 701-356-8027 mnerat@catholiccharitiesnd.org
Director’s Corner
by Chris Martin
Hello again. Several people brought to my attention that, in my last (and first) Director’s Corner, I neglected to introduce myself. With apologies for my bad manners, please let me do so now. I was born and raised in Victoria, Australia. After taking some time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life I decided to become a teacher. I taught elementary and special ed and also became an assistant principal. Some of the things I love about Australia, and miss, are the smell of the trees, the colors of the earth, friends and family, and the wildlife. We really did have kangaroos in our yard, flocks of rosellas and cockatoos flying overhead, and kookaburras laughing in the morning. We lived next door to a park and often saw koalas quietly munching on the leaves high in the trees. I go back to Australia to visit fairly frequently and enjoy the leisure- oriented culture and the beaches. I met my husband, Bill, when he came as an American exchange teacher to the same town I was teaching in. After a couple of years we traveled to the states where his dad married us. We returned to Australia for several more years, and then, with our son, decided to return to the states to attend grad school.
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Director’s Corner Continued....
by Chris Martin
We first attended Iowa State where Bill obtained a masters’ degree in Math and I a second undergrad, in psychology this time. We then attended, and graduated from, University of Wisconsin at Madison with graduate degrees. Bill now works at NDSU. I worked at LSS of Minnesota, and then PATH of Minnesota, transferring to PATH, North Dakota, where I had the opportunity to supervise many different programs and wonderful social workers. Now I continue to work with kids and families with AASK. Bill and I have two sons (one in business, one in grad school studying statistics), three daughters (one an English teacher, one in college, and one working in retail) and 3 granddaughters. It’s a good life! I hope you all have a great summer.
WAITING CHILDREN
GARRET
Garret is a motivated teenager with a passion for learning new things! He enjoys school and does well with all of his subjects! His goal is to graduate by the end of the year. He has talked a lot about pursuing a college degree in Business Administration and will need an adoptive family to support and encourage him to reach his goals! He enjoys playing board games, card games, reading, writing, and running track. His favorite game is scrabble. Garret describes himself as “outgoing” and would like a family who can spend a lot of one- on- one time with him. To learn more about this exceptional and caring individual, please refer to www.aasknd.org
To learn more about some of these Waiting Children, please visit the at www.ndheartgalley.org
Jamison is part of a sibling group. His brother’s name is John and are both waiting for their forever family! Jamison is happy its summertime and plans to spend a lot of his time outside! He enjoys camping, playing basketball, and being out in the sun. Jamison, who is now 15 years old, enjoys LEGOS and adds to his collection all the time! He has an important relationship with his current foster family and would like this contact to continue in an adoptive home. Although the contact between them and their other relatives is limited, it is still important and he would like that contact to continue as well. He does well in school with the help of an Individualized Education Plan (IEP).
Jamison
To learn more about this exceptional and caring individual, please refer to www.aasknd.org
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More Waiting Children
John
John is the other half of the sibling group of Jamison and John. John is happy its summertime and plans to spend a lot of his time outside! He enjoys camping, playing basketball, and being out in the sun. John is a sensitive young man with a love for all animals and wouldn’t mind living on a farm one day so he can help with chores and take care of the animals. He has an important relationship with his current foster family and would like this contact to continue in an adoptive home. Although the contact between them and their other relatives is limited, it is still important and he would like that contact to continue as well. He does well in school with the help of an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). To learn more about this exceptional and caring individual, please refer to www.aasknd.org
Holly is a bubbly teen girl who is wanting a family who will claim and accept her as their own. She has no preferences regarding the composition of her adoptive family, although Holly’s team feels she would do best in a home where she is the youngest or only child. Holly needs a strong family that will commit to her and support her through times of happiness and times of struggle.I’d like a
Holly says “ I am a 14 year old teenage girl anxiously waiting for my forever family. I am fond of animals and wouldn’t mind if my adoptive family had pets in their home. My favorite colors are hot pink and lime green.”
Holly
To learn more about this exceptional and caring individual, please refer to www.aasknd.org
Travis has a laid-back personality and quite the sense of humor! His teacher could not be happier with his school work and he has a few close friends with whom he spends free time with during school hours. Travis is part of a work-study program, which has helped him to learn responsibility and basic job skills. His foster parents say that he is a pleasure to have in their home. Travis should be very proud of his accomplishments! Travis is not picky when it comes to the composition of his forever family, although he would prefer that his adoptive family not have very small children in the home. He hopes that his family would be there for him no matter what. Travis’ adoptive family should be ready to support him as he transitions into adulthood.
Travis
Travis says, “I’d like a family that will be a ‘forever’ family...the kind that is there for you all the time. To learn more about this exceptional and caring individual, please refer to www.aasknd.org
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More Waiting Children Say “hello” to 6- year -old Gabby!!!! This sweet little girl enjoys playing with horses and dolls. She hopes that her adoptive family likes animals, especially horses!
Gabby likes to play on the swing set, ride bike and draw pictures! Her favorite colors are pink and purple. All families will be considered for adopting Gabby, however priority would be given to Native families. Gabby says, “ I want a family that will love me. I would like to be in a home with other siblings.”
GABBY
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TESA
To learn more about these exceptional and caring individuals, please refer to www.aasknd.org
Bryanna is a 12 year old energetic girl who is looking forward to having a family that she will be part of forever. Bryanna is creative and enjoys making music. Bryanna plays the guitar and recorder. Bryanna states that she is a “black belt in guitar karate and recorder karate”. Bryanna also enjoys reading and playing board games, her favorite being “Hunger Games”. Bryanna enjoys school and states her favorite subject is language arts and Bryanna says she loves learning new languages. Bryanna also enjoys cooking and finding new recipes to try! Bryanna also enjoys being outside and being active. Bryanna’s team would like a family that has a calm and quiet home with structure and clear expectations. The team recommends a family for Bryanna where Bryanna is an only child or one other child. Bryanna does do well with other children, especially children who are younger than she is. Bryanna would like a family who has a good sense of humor and will laugh at Bryanna’s jokes and will also make her laugh. Bryanna hopes her adoptive family is respectful of herself and others. Bryanna wants her family to love her just the way she is. The team would also like the family to be supportive of services for Bryanna. To learn more about these exceptional and caring individuals, please refer to www.aasknd.org
I would like to introduce you to Tesa. She is a charming ten year old young lady. She loves animals, especially horses and house pets, and living in the country. Tesa is participating in Taekwondo and likes to keep active. Tesa came into care due to poor living conditions and medical and educational neglect. Although she has had a number of foster care placements, Tesa is doing exceptionally well in her current foster placement. Tesa is in the fourth grade, where she has an Individual Education Plan. She responds well to a highly structured setting with firm boundaries. She is an active participant in class and thrives on positive feedback. Like all of us, Tesa likes to know she is doing well. She does have difficulty staying focused and keeping herself organized. Tesa is legally freed for adoption. She has an older sister, who is 17. Tesa would like an adoptive home similar to her current foster home with parents in their 40’s. She would be agree able to a single female too. Tesa would do best in a family where she is the youngest or only child, as she is still working on social skills and boundaries. Tesa likes living in the country, but will need to be in an area where she can still access services. She has occupational therapy, counseling therapy and Taekwondo once a week. Tesa has a number of older siblings, but only has contact with her 17 year old sister, whom is also in foster care at this time. To learn more about these exceptional and caring individuals, please refer to www.aasknd.org 5
More Waiting Children
GISELLE
Beautiful little Princess Giselle is searching far and wide for the castle of her forever family, but she does not yet know what kingdom they live in. In her adoption journey to find her family, she would like her prospective family to know that she loves Disney Princesses, especially Cinderella, and she would dress up like a princess every day if she could. Her favorite color is blue (like Cinderella’s dress) and she loves to sing, put together puzzles, and draw pictures. Five-year-old Giselle loves to play outside, as well, and can ride a two-wheel bike with training wheels. Her favorite foods are waffles and pancakes, so she would like to live in a castle that serves these foods often! Giselle is very bright, and will be in Kindergarten this coming fall. She can write the whole alphabet and her name, and is working on sounding out words. She can count into the 30’s and does simple addition problems already! Giselle has been in foster care since 2012 and was the victim of severe neglect and abuse. She is in weekly therapy to work through her traumatic past. Her foster mother shares that Giselle can became easily frustrated and needs reminders to ask for help. She also can get bossy or demanding at times, but, overall, she is a sweet and engaging child. Giselle is physically healthy at this time, but came into foster care with many capped teeth and missing teeth from poor dental hygiene as a very small child. Giselle is not legally-freed for adoption at this time, but the court proceedings are scheduled for termination of parental rights. The ideal family for Giselle will be able to set strong boundaries in their home and would need to continue therapy for Giselle. Giselle’s team recommends that the adoptive family should be a two parent family and Giselle should be the youngest child in the home. The team would prefer if Giselle has her own room. The adoptive family must have the ability to supervise Giselle very closely, meet Giselle’s emotional needs, and give her feelings of stability and safety.
To learn more about these exceptional and caring individuals, please refer to www.aasknd.org
Donte is a 13 year old boy. He is very good at sports and has a big interest in hunting and fishing. He loves to spend time outside with friends. Ivy loves to do arts & crafts. She is 11 years old. She enjoys helping around the house and playing basketball outside. Robert (aka RJ) is a lively 10 year old who loves animals, especially horses. He also loves to play sports and dance. Dominic has a good sense of humor. He is 7 years old. He likes to spend time outside camping and boating. He loves to watch football especially the Vikings.
Donte, Ivy, Robert & Dominic
Donte, Ivy, Robert and Dominic are siblings who are patiently waiting to meet their forever family. These children are active and enjoy spending time outside with animals and friends. They also enjoy working on projects with their caregivers. They will surely liven up your home. These kids would benefit from a family who can help them understand their past and work on their feelings about their birth family. They would benefit from a family who likes to be active and would get the kids involved in the community. These siblings are eager to please and like to perform for adults. Potential adoptive families should be willing to continue therapeutic services for these children throughout adoptive placement and after finalization. Donte, Ivy, Robert and Dominic have very close relationships with their current foster parents and biological grandmother whom they wish to maintain contact with. These four children have three other siblings who are residing with three different families. Potential adoptive families must be willing to support and continue their sibling connections through face to face contact, Skype, phone calls, letters and photos.
To learn more about these exceptional and caring individuals, please refer to www.aasknd.org
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Nurtured Heart Approach Thought of the Month
by Sonja McLean, LSW
A time-out is the sole consequence for any broken rule in the Nurtured Heart Approach. A time-out is not the time for a lengthy speech or discussion on why your child should not have chosen that action, as that gives reward to a negative behavior. With the Nurtured Heart Approach, Howard Glasser prefers that parents simply say "that's a broken rule" or "that's a time out" and walk away. Warnings on behavior should not be given to your child. This gives power to the time-out consequence and allows your child to learn from the outcome of their behavior. Timeout locations can be a chair or area of the home. It does not necessarily need to be in the same place it just has to be a place where it is clear that your child cannot continue to participate in the activity. Once the child is in time-out, you as the parent should turn your back or walk away. Time-outs should be short and can begin once your child is calm and quiet, according to Glasser. It may be challenging to not get into a power struggle with your child if they start crying or tantruming, but remind them that a time-out begins when they are quiet. It may take some time for your child to calm down, but if you are not feeding energy into theirs, they will realize that you aren't going to be playing that game. He notes that a time-out should assist in redirecting a negative behavior. You may get adverse results if a time-out is too long, so gauge where your child is at. Ten to fifteen seconds to one minute may be all it takes for your child to reset themselves and move on. You as the parents should give your child permission to move out of time-out and let them know when it is over. After time-out is over, take the opportunity to positively energize them before they go on their way. Let them know you appreciate that they sat still while in time-out, or that you appreciated how calm they became. Prior to implementing this technique into your home, your child should understand the concepts. Glasser states: 1. The time-out process should be described to your child. They should know exactly what to expect when you say the words "time-out". 2. Be sure to explain to your child what will happen if they require a time-out when you are not at home. As the parent, make a plan that either your child will take their time-out wherever you are or as soon as you get back home. 3. Be sure that your child knows that you will not be giving them a warning or second chances for their behavior, no matter if you are at home or elsewhere. 4. Emphasize that your child needs to comply with your time-outs. It is not a choice for them. 5. Be sure your child understands that the time-out does not start until they are quiet and that you will be telling them when it is over. Glasser advises to keep time-outs short in length. 6. Let your child know that you will not be talking with them or answering questions during time-out. If the child does have questions, they can be asked afterwards. Glasser, H., Bowdidge, J., & Bravo, L. Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook: An Interactive Guide to The Nurtured Heart Approach. Brigham Distributing (2007). If you would like to learn more about the Nurtured Heart Approach, be sure to check out their website: www.childrenssuccessfoundation.com
Kid’s Corner
Coffee Filter Butterfly Clips
For any age with parental supervision recommended Materials Needed: Black chenille stem, paper coffee filter, water color paints, paint brush, water, wooden clothespin, 2 (4-6mm) Wiggle eyes, wire cutters and needle nose pliers
Instructions: Cut the black chenille stem to 4” (You will only use the 4” piece for this project). Using water color paints, paint the coffee filter and let dry. Accordion pleat the coffee filter in about 1/2” pleats, slide the butterfly in-between the opening of the wooden clothespin. Fold the black chenille stem in half and separate the ends of the black chenille stem. Bend one end of the black chenille stem over about 1/4” and bend again. Repeat with other end, this makes the antennas. Slide in-between the opening of the wooden clothespin and fan out the butterfly’s wings. Glue the wiggle eyes on the clothespin. 7
Spotlight on Staff
Alicia King
My name is Alicia King and I am an adoption worker with Adults Adopting Special Kids (AASK) program. I began my employment with AASK in March 2013 and am very excited about my new journey! I graduated from the University of North Dakota with a Bachelors degree in Social Work. I married my husband, Paul, in August 2012. I have two stepsons and we have a pet dog named Keeper. This summer we are keeping busy with residing our house, if the rain ever stops so we can work on it, and trying to keep the weeds out of our garden! We will take a break for a week in August as we are taking a family vacation to Washington State to visit family! We enjoy fishing, camping, spending time at the lake, skiing, hanging out with friends and family and really any outdoor activity. I worked for four years at the YWCA Cass Clay Emergency shelter providing case management to women. I wanted to expand my experience in social work and I have always had a passion for working with children and watching them grow. I have always enjoyed working directly with children and families, so I decided to endeavor on a new journey and accepted a position at Barnes County Social Services in Valley City as a Child Welfare worker. While at Barnes County I completed child protection assessments, provided foster care case management and also did some voluntary in home case management with families in the community. I learned the child welfare system and enjoyed providing the direct assistance to children and their families. There were many stressful and heart breaking situations that I faced as a child protection and foster care worker and also so many fun and enjoyable moments between families and children, birth families and foster families. My time at Barnes County taught me that there are many people who come together for the child and family. Those same people provide multiple resources and services to families to assist them in strengthening their family. I went in to homes and helped the family learn to spend time together, whether that meant initiating a game between family members or facilitating a conversation. I supervised many visits between children and their parents and watched many of those visits go from fully supervised to the child being in the home all day with their parents and being safe and eventually returning home. Many good changes come from the team of people that are there to support and encourage the family. We all know there are times that children can not return home and need another permanent plan for them. That’s where the AASK program comes in! I had made referrals to the AASK program as a county worker and was part of the very edge of the adoption process Driving every day to Valley City from Dilworth got to be long and so there starts my journey with the AASK program! I have learned that there is much‌ MUCH more that the adoption worker does than take the referrals from county workers. My first three months with the AASK program have been exciting. I have learned so much and am excited to continue learning the adoption process and being part of such an amazing program! (We are pleased to welcome Alicia, as a Social Worker, in the Fargo Office.)
LOCAL HAPPENINGS
Andrea Olson
May is National Foster Care Month! Throughout the month of May we take the time to recognize and remember those children who are currently in foster care, as well as those families that have come forward to meet the challenges of providing care for these children. The Region IV Foster Adopt Recruitment Retention Coalition held a ribbon tying ceremony at the Grand Forks County courthouse on May 3, 2013. Coalition members tied 188 blue ribbons. Each blue ribbon represents one child in foster care in the Northeast Region. The AASK program tied blue and red ribbons onto trees surrounding the Catholic Charities office in Grand Forks. The blue in the ribbons continues to represent a child in foster care and the red band on the ribbon represents the fact that there is an adoption plan being made. There are 33 children in the region whose goal is adoption. Thank you to our families who have gone above and beyond for children in the foster care system! Pictured left to right: Sandy Marquardt, Hayley Berg-Lefebvre, Andrea Olson. AASK staff in the Grand Forks office. Not pictured: Trich Heck 8
FEATURED FAMILY......IS IT YOU? MANY WONDERFUL TEENS ARE WAITING FOR THEIR FAMILy TO CLAIM THEM TOP 10 REASONS TO ADOPT A TEENAGER 1. We can program your cell phones and VCR’s and teach you how to run your computer! 2. We sleep through the night...even if grown-ups don’t. 3. We will be ready to move out sooner...but we can still visit. 4. No Formula, diapers or bottles required. 5. We can pick up after ourselves and do our own laundry. 6. We will keep you up-to-date with the fashions and trends. 7. You get to dress us up for prom. 8. We can show you new dance moves. 9. We will teach you how to be more patient, understanding, kind, and empathetic. And, most importantly 10. We all need someone to share our live, dreams, achievements, and holidays. Special thanks to the Oklahoma Youth Board - 2000 - who originally developed Top 10 Reasons to Adopt a Teenager!
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CONGRATULATIONS!
Congratulations to these families who recently celelbrated the legal finalization of their adoption through the end of May 2013! Aiden and Elena with Carrie Nicole with Daniel and Andrea Antonio with Matthew and Angela Madison with Lydia Ashton with Candyce Nevaeh, Makiya and Nikolai with Tommy and Cheryl Zackery with Neil and Darcy Noah with Thomas and Jennifer Grayson with Tim and Tana Daquota and Taelor with Delores Kiaya and Dade with Bruce and Vicky Kylei with Keith and Tracy Emillie with Jamie Sean with Michelle Pandora with Curtis and Rita Kabriel with John and Christina Derek and Shyenne with Steve and Rebecca Georgianna with Gordon and Mary Jo Mary with Louis and Geraldine Marco and Jose with Tony and Julie Destiny with Greg and Janelle Amanda with Edward and Tobi Diamond with John and Cassie Nichole with Kurt and Jennifer
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What’s Cooking!
Submitted
by Julie Hoffman, State Adoption Administrator
Note: This is a quick, easy and healthy meal that’s fun to eat and can be adjusted to your taste. You can spice it up or down as you desire, add different vegetables or topping to suit your taste! Serve with fresh pineapple or other fruit as a side. Chicken Teriyaki Lettuce Wraps Ingredients: 1lb boneless, skinless chicken thighs, partially frozen and cut into small (1/2 inch) dice 3 T. oil ½ large onion, diced 1 large carrot, diced 1 bell pepper (whatever color you like), seeded and diced 8 oz. fresh button mushrooms, sliced ½ c. (or more) teriyaki ginger cooking sauce ¼ t. ground red (cayenne) pepper – or to taste Salt and black pepper to taste 1 head butter or iceberg lettuce Directions: Wash and dry individual lettuce leaves and put aside. Heat large frying pan and sauté’ diced chicken in oil until just cooked through, doing it in two batches so that the meat browns a bit. Remove from pan and keep warm. Wipe out the pan and sauté vegetables in a bit of oil until crisp/ tender, adding one at a time in the order given. When vegetables are done, add in cooked chicken, teriyaki sauce and seasonings to your liking, stir and heat through. Serve meat mixture on lettuce leave, rolling up like a burrito. Optional: you can sprinkle on sliced green onions or chopped almonds before rolling for extra crunch.
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ADULTS ADOPTING SPECIAL KIDS CATHOLIC CHARITIES ND 5201 BISHOPS BLVD - STE B FARGO ND 58104
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MAILING LIST UPDATE: If you have an address change or do not wish to receive this newsletter, please email Shawna Johnson sjohnson@catholiccharitiesnd.org Thank you!
Did you know individuals can also support the program? Online donations can be made on our website at www. aasknd.org. Donations can also be mailed to CCND/AASK at 5201 Bishops Boulevard - Suite B - Fargo, ND 58104. Donations can be made in memory of a loved one who has passed or to honor a special occasion such as a birthday, graduation, wedding or birth of a child. What a great way to give tribute to someone who has impacted your life while making a difference for a child in the AASK program. Thank you for your support! It helps the program provide that “special touch” for the children and families we serve! www.aasknd.org