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Editor & Publisher Paul Blake

June 16, 2011 VOLUME 6 Issue 28

How some jackass gave up money allocated for education p. 6


News.Politics.Commentary. news deliciously Baked toddler narrowly avoided OPINION What is Racketeering, Trebeck, for 350,000? Cover Mick Zais plays one to the grand stands Crime watch The zips are back Vocal booth Throwing a redneck a bone Music Fr, Jones music reviews movies super 8 review

3 4 6 9 10 11 12

ARTS EDITOR Judit Trunkos Circulation manager Laura M. Music Kingsley Waring, Fr. Jones Pg. 6

Movies.Entertainment.Etc. soundboard punk/indie/emo/ska/hardcore/metal/rock movie times Music savage love adult sex advice Jonesin Crosswords Cartoons Derf & Red Meat Sudoku

10 13 12 13 14 14 15

Account Executives James Wallace Staff Writer Kerry Boyles Contributors S.M. Baleem, Garrett Kellerhals, WR Marshall, Todd Morehead, Will Moredock, Ted Rall, Dan Savage, Kingsley Waring, Baynard Woods

Pg. 10

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toddler. Brown faces charges of unlawful The person inside the suit reported no conduct toward a child. major injuries. Jail nurse in hot water for hummer Brown told police she simply forgot her child was in the car. Craiglist deal ends in vehicular A nurse at the Charleston County assault jail is facing charges stemming from GEORGETOWN allegations that she gave out more than A 44-year-old man contacted police prescription medication to an inmate Beach construction could harm after a man who agreed to buy his iPhone awaiting trial for murder. marine science area 4 on Craigslist got a little squirrely when According to sheriff’s investigators, they met in person. a nurse named Angela Marie Smith, 33, A beach restoration plan set forth by According to the Rock Hill Herald, asked to use a room to talk privately to wealthy seaside landowners and recently the men met at a pizza restaurant to a few inmates. However, one particular approved by DHEC could hurt research make the transaction. A man wearing all inmate was in the room longer than at a marine science laboratory, critics of black met the seller and handed over an the others, an incident report states. the plan say. envelope containing what appeared to be When Detention Officer Danielle Francis Gov. Nikki Haley has said that she money. While the seller tried to inspect opened the door to check on Smith, wants to cut DHEC red tape for businesses money, which later turned out to be she told investigators that the inmate and appointed a brand new DHEC board fake, the buyer hopped into a Mitsubishi was exposed and he quickly covered up. when she took office. In its first major Montero and attempted to flee the scene. Smith, Francis alleged, was “possibly environmental decision, the board voted When the buyer tried to stop the vehicle, performing oral sex.” unanimously to let property owners in the suspects drove off and hit him. Smith has been charged with first- the affluent, gated Debordieu community The police report stated that the degree sexual misconduct with an inmate build metal walls in the ocean to trap sand envelope contained five fake $100 bills. and faces up to 10 years in prison if for their private beaches. So far no arrest has been made. convicted. So far, the inmate has not been The walls are supposed to protect charged. around $20 million worth of oceanfront SPARTANBURG property while likely increasing erosion CLOVER downstream at the North Inlet estuarine Naked man arrested for haranguing research reserve. Irish pub Baked toddler narrowly avoided ROCK HILL Spartanburg police arrested a North A Clover woman is facing possible Carolina man for running naked through prison time after she allegedly left a Man in giant ice cream cone suit a restaurant district. 1-year-old child unattended in a car with attacked by teen According to the Spartanburg Herald no ventilation while she went grocery Journal Kenneth Burke, of Bladenboro, shopping. A 16-year-old will face charges in N.C. was charged with indecent exposure According to the Rock Hill Herald, York County Family Court following an after police were dispatched to the scene. Mary Jolley Brown, 35, left her toddler alleged attack on a mascot for an area ice Burke had allegedly been streaking near girl strapped into her car seat in the cream shop. Delaney’s Irish Pub on West Main Street. back of a Suzuki while she shopped for A Marble Slab employee dressed as Responding officers witnessed Burke groceries at Food Lion. the store’s giant ice cream cone mascot, race over to a pick-up truck and climb The doors and windows were closed, “Slabbie,” was reportedly waving to in. Police dragged him from the truck, the vehicle was not running, and outside passersby in front of a nearby Dick’s arrested him and clothed him before temperatures were 87 degrees, according Sporting Goods store when the teen hauling him to jail. to the report. Witnesses flagged down pulled up in an SUV, tackled the giant -Todd Morehead police who were able to remove the cone to the ground, and then sped away.

June 16, 2011


Following A Master Plan

Opinion by Paul Blake Developers Ron Swinson and Stan Harpe have finally found a master plan that works. The City of Columbia settled a lawsuit with the developers of Five Points South for $350,000. The developers sued after the City lowered the amount they were willing to pay for a parking garage, which would have been part of a six-story retail and condo project. H.R. Developers, owned by Harpe and Swinson, has been in high level talks with city officials since at least 2007, with the idea to build a multi-level shopping, parking, and residential structure in Five Points at the corner of Blossom and Saluda Streets. The City of Columbia, under its original plan, would have put up $1 million to finance a public parking garage in the structure. The Five Points Association (FPA) petitioned the city to create a new zoning classification specifically for large scale, mixed residential/ retail development –the project’s MX-1 zoning category didn’t exist until the FPA began pushing for it in 2005 (it was approved

official. After investing all that time, money and effort, Stan Harpe happened to be out of town on April 14, 2009 when it came time for an important zoning board vote. The week following the April 14 Board of Zoning Appeals deferral, representatives of the FPA quietly met with H.R. Developers. (Strangely, the developers were in town and cleared their schedules for that meeting.) The association then conducted a board member vote endorsing the Walgreen’s project, despite the structure being 40 percent larger than the guidelines they set forth in the original master plan, despite an unassuming Rite Aid a few blocks from the proposed site and despite the fact that an oversized corporate drug mart is anything but “local,” “funky,” or “eclectic.” Former FPA president and Future Five development mastermind, Dennis Hiltner, and former city councilwoman, Anne Sinclair, also attended the closed-door board meeting. Why did H.R. wait until the week of April 20 – the week after their April 14 zoning hearing – to schedule a summit meeting and vote with the FPA to shore up support? Wouldn’t they have wanted that cheerleading section at the original hearing? Unless they had planned to miss the April 14, 2009 meeting all along. In lieu of the original master plan, perhaps their Plan B was to sue and settle with the City of Columbia at a later date. Oddly, H.R. didn’t have a written contract with the city, so there was no reason for the city to settle this case. The developers were upset with the public outcry over the project and it seemed they didn’t care what took its place. There was pure arrogance from the Five Points Association with an attitude of, “Since you complained, now you get a Walgreens!” Meanwhile, they didn’t even warn Walgreens that their new store would be ankle deep in water every time it rained. Considering the state of the condo market and the various new condo projects in Columbia that remain empty, the concerned citizens did them a favor by blocking the project. But it looks as though Harpe and company had a plan to make their money.  

“Considering the state of the condo market and the various new condo projects in Columbia that remain empty, the concerned citizens did them a favor by blocking the project.”

by unanimous vote in 2008). The city eventually backed out of the public parking portion and neighborhood associations balked at the height of the structure. After sinking a few years and millions of dollars into the project, Swinson and Harpe decided to build a one story structure that now houses a Walgreens. H.R. Developers bought the former Kenny’s Auto site on April 10, 2007. Nearly two years to the day later, it appeared they intentionally delayed a zoning hearing to await the ousting of an opposing zoning


June 16, 2011

As I wrote in 2009, “It’s a shame that zoning officials can’t be elected. Instead, they’re hand-picked by development friendly city council members –one of whom, Daniel Rickenmann, received campaign donations from a fundraising party Stan Harpe’s wife hosted in his honor and whose real estate dealings with H.R. Developers and the former owner of Kenny’s Auto raised eyebrows during the last municipal election.” Once again Columbia, such observations fall on deaf ears and the same modus operandi will continue.

By Will Moredock The Palmetto State Pathology has many symptoms: poor public education, low personal income, high rates of poverty, crime, divorce, infant mortality, violence toward women and children, among other things. But all of these symptoms have one origin: a world view among the majority white population focused on past resentments and indignities, incapable of facing the world as it is, rather than the way it was or might have been. We saw a stunning example of this old thinking recently when State Superintendent of Education Mick Zais took South Carolina out of the competition for up to $50 million in federal grant money for public schools. That $50 million is part of a $200 million pot of money the U.S. Department of Education is handing out to help reform some of the lowest-performing state school systems in the country. South Carolina certainly qualifies. The money is allocated under a federal education program called Race to the Top. The state applied for one of the Race to the Top grants under previous state superintendent Jim Rex, a Democrat. Zais, a Republican, campaigned last year against South Carolina’s participation in the Race to the Top program. The white people of the state elected him and Zais made good on his word. He walked away from millions of dollars that might have supported teachers, schools and students in this woebegone state. People outside South Carolina probably have a hard time understanding this 6

June 16, 2011

decision, but I suspect it is popular enough among Zais’ supporters. It hearkens back to the day two years ago when then-Gov. Mark Sanford tried to reject federal stimulus money, even as the state floundered in 10-percent unemployment. Zais justified his decision, saying that taking federal education money was tantamount to taking “pieces of silver in exchange for strings attached to Washington.” This is strange logic, indeed, coming from a retired Army general who spent his career


saw a

member of the federal Advisory Committee on Student Financial Assistance. Holleman understood the value of good connections in Wasshington. Holleman has called Greenville his home for more than 30 years. He and his wife are graduates of Furman University. His children are products of S.C. public schools. Yet, during the fall campaign his opponents turned his experience against him. In true South Carolina form, they cited to his his “years in Washington,” as a point of suspicion.

stunning example of this old

State Superintendent of Education Mick Zais took South Carolina out of the competition for up to $50 million in federal grant money for public schools.” thinking when

taking orders from Washington. Zais’ career also includes a stint as president of tiny Newberry College in the Upstate. His resume does not reflect any experience in public education. By contrast, his Democratic opponent in last fall’s election was Frank Holleman, a Greenville attorney who served as the deputy U.S. secretary of education helped found the state’s First Steps to School Readiness program. Also at the national level, he worked in the Government Accountability Office’s Expert Panel for K-12 Education, and was a

(Years of experience in Washington never seem to diminish the appeal of Republican politicians. See: Thurmond, Strom.) What Zais did with the Race to the Top funds was cynical beyond words, yet it is what white politicians have done in this state for generations. When it is convenient, they will readily disparage federal money as corrupt and manipulative. It is a charade that dates back at least to the New Deal and it elicits strains of pride among whites, who still revere the idea of secession and belligerence toward Washington. I call it a charade because the same

politicians who spend their careers denouncing and denigrating everything that emanates from the national capital would dance of their Confederate granddaddy’s grave for the opportunity to go to Congress. And white voters who support those politicians who spurn federal stimulus and education money will reelect another politician who “brings home the bacon” to build a popular road, airport or bridge (See: Ravenel, Arthur) And Zais’ cynicism has an even darker side. Sure, many white voters will support him for turning down that evil federal money, but the money was intended to help children and children don’t vote. Zais pulled a grandstand play with little down side and I am sure he will remind his white supporters of it at the next election. What were the federal “strings” that were so onerous that they made tens of millions of dollars unpalatable to the superintendent of education? He didn’t specify, but it is hard to believe that running schools the Washington way could be any worse than they way we have been doing it for the last 140 years. As Andy Brack wrote Statehouse Report: “Maybe we need these so-called government strings. Why? Because what’s been happening so far with us at the bottom of education lists hasn’t been working out that well.” But that’s tradition and in the Palmetto State, tradition trumps all.

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June 16, 2011

29210 A young woman popped but just couldn’t stop and was caught trying to smuggle two containers of Pringles out of Wal-Mart. The juvenile was stopped and detained by store security after exiting the shop with the contraband chips. The items were returned to the store and the juvenile was later released to her aunt, who was a little ruffled. (5/31/2011) 110015948 29203 A police officer noticed a man walking in the middle of the road even though there was a perfectly good sidewalk for him to walk on. The officer gave the man a citation and found some marijuana on him and booked him on possession. What does he think this is a free country? (5/27/2011) 110015566 29203 Ever heard of drive thru rage? A woman became furious after two young ladies took too long in a McDonalds drive thru, walked up to their vehicle and began a “verbal altercation.” When they asked her to return to her car, she tried to hit them through the windows. She then got a

shovel out of her car and threw it at their in America. (5/26/2011) 11001546 bumper. When the ladies left the drive 29203 thru, they claimed the woman was still The custodian of Jehovah Baptist following them. We’d hate to see what she does if she doesn’t get a toy in her happy Church on Frye Road noticed that someone had stolen three air conditioning meal. (5/27/2011) 110015518 units worth $7,000 each and two copper lids worth $25 each from the side of 29203 A man called police claiming there a building owned by the church and were black men on his porch wielding called police. Looks like sinners won’t guns. When the cops arrived, the man be the only ones burning up this week. confessed to hitting his wife several (5/27/2011) 110015663 times, though his wife said she got 29205 A woman has accused a some good shots in too. Considering she outweighed him by about 50 pounds, maintenance man of stealing her laptop, we believe her. Another man appeared throwing the top of her blender on the and said, “Why’d you hit my sister? I’m floor and messing up her blinds while going to kick your fucking ass.” When he was in her apartment painting over the officers tried to arrest him for fighting a patch in the wall. The woman noticed words, he ran into the couple’s house the misplaced blender top and blinds while his hefty sister barricaded herself in when she entered her apartment but did the doorway, allowing the man to escape not notice anything missing and left. She out of the back of the house. Both the man returned later in the evening, noticed her and the woman were arrested, but here’s laptop was missing and called the police. to hoping those crazy kids stay together. We aren’t detectives, but don’t maintence men just use the front door when they (5/26/2011) 110015392 steal shit? (5/27/2011) 110015637 29203 29205 A man started harassing a A man was lying in bed when someone started shooting at his home. He woman after she told him his ex-girlfriend was struck in the forehead by something, wasn’t around. The woman told an officer bullet or otherwise, and was transported that the man called her yelling and cursing to Richland Memorial Hospital. A witness after she told him the bad news, and kept said he saw a red compact car with the calling even when she told him to stop. passenger side taped up fleeing towards This asshole sounds like a real catch, Gervais Street after the shots were fired. wonder why they broke up. (5/27/2011) So if you see a car like this, don’t lie down 110015603 because they really hate that. Guns don’t kill people, it is the great access to bullets

June 16, 2011


4) MAZE—Before I let go (Greatest Hits) 5) Biz Markie – Spring Again (The Biz Never Sleeps) 6) Fat Boys & Beach Boys- Wipe Out (Greatest Hits) 7) Sly & The Family Stone – Hot Fun The Summertime (Greatest Hits) 8) Bill Withers & Grover Washington – Lovely Day (The Best of) 9) Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg—Nuthin’ But A ‘G’ Thang (The Chronic) 10) Marcia Griffiths – The Electric Slide /Cha Cha Slide/Cupid Shuffle/Wobble (Various) 11) Ice Cube – It Was A Good Day (The Predator) 12) Outkast—So Fresh, So Clean (Stankonia) 13) Mariah Carey & Ol’ Dirty Bastard – Fantasy (Day Dream) 14) Tag Team – Whoop There It Is (Greatest Hits) 15) Roy Ayers- Everybody Loves The Sunshine (The Best of)

Welcome to the Vocal Booth. Hope all is well with you guys out there as the weather is heating up. As a DJ (Live/ Mix tape/Radio), music/concert promoter, former employee of the varied record stores in town, and still a vast collector of audible treats (with over 5000 albums at my disposal); the Vocal Booth & CCP aim to inform you of all things existing and entertaining. Music is such an integral part of our lives and it deserves proper placement amongst things we hold dear. Since it is summertime and the family outings are kicking off, here is the perfect UPCOMING EVENT(S) summertime play list to upload to your Fight The Power: Hip Hop Film Series Ipod or burn to a CD. A huge ‘SALUTE’ to Columbia City Paper for the continued featuring 9th Wonder (formerly of Little opportunities; this paper is definitely the Brother) taking place JULY 1ST, 2011 @ standard. Let’s get it!!!! The Columbia Museum of Art P.O. Box 2068 Columbia, SC 29202/ 1515 Main SUMMERTIME PLAYLIST Street (803) 799.2810 1) DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince – Summertime (Code Red) WORDS OF WISDOM 2) Isley Bros.—Summer Breeze and/or Enjoy all that you can out there…Be Caravan Of Love (Greatest Hits) safe!!! DJ Kingpin kingpinvillianofvinyl@ 3) Kid Rock—All Summer Long (Rock & Roll Jesus)


June 16, 2011

Returning to an established artistic medium after a lengthy absence has always been a dicey move. Look no further than the Guns n’ Roses Chinese Democracy disaster or the cinematic stain known as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Time both heals and nurtures collective opinionbut it facilitates expectations as well. This is why these audience reengagements tend to fall flat on their face. It’s hard to discern what an audience wants from what an audience thinks it wants. Memory is tricky that way. Take Rage Against the Machine, for example. I’ll never forget that feeling of unstoppable exhilaration I experienced when first listening toBattle of Los Angeles. I was excited, I was angry, I was fiery, I was sixteen. Years later, when Rage comes on the radio, I do not so much listen to the music as I recall the feeling. For five minutes, I wax nostalgicnot even processing the aural explosion of “Bulls on Parade”. For all intents and purpose, the music is dead to me and technically, that feeling of unabashed youthful initiative is dead too- but the memory of that feeling lives on. This is no longer art that is- it is art that was in every way the past tense can be applied. We live in an age of rapid cultural acceleration. The best forms of iconography travel with you through life, periodically dropping in at various personal touchstonesoffering a new, fresh perspective while still maintaining that familiar warmth; but, honestly, this doesn’t happen often. This is the main reason why lengthy absences are such a gamble. The art needs to keep the consumer at arm’s length as much as possible. If the consumer is allowed too much autonomy with personal recollection, the artist is facing the insurmountable obstacle known as relative memory. We need to miss our music or films while still resting assured that they will return in a timely fashion. The problem with iconic comebacks is that the rebooted product usually ends up a half-baked collection of ideas. Iconic influence can approach mythical status in the ability to marinate over time. However, removed from its generational

context, a once-forceful piece of art can suddenly seem dated and quaint. And when the artist in question attempts to rehash this material, it becomes quickly irrelevant. The next thing you know, people begin asking each other,“Why did we even like this in the first place?” Walking the tightrope between nostalgia and pertinence usually ends with the artist providing a lot of everything but not much of anything. Which brings me to Atari Teenage Riot and  Is This Hyperreal?- their first album in more than a decade. When I first listened to Atari Teenage Riot years and years ago, I was puzzled at the addictive nature of this unintelligible noise. 1997’s The Future of War was an auditory cyberpunk assault of distorted electronic loops, driving bass lines, and painful screams of political protest. This was a signature sound so unique, fresh, and unapologetically 90s that it was near impossible to determine whether or not you actually liked it- for fear of any negative remarks merely being the result of “not getting it”. Unfortunately, the band sounds exactly the same fourteen years later on Is This Hyperreal?. All of the well-worn elements are present in attendance (except of course Carl Crack who died of a drug overdose in 2001)- but what was once hypnotic in its audacity has now become boring and dare I say, irrelevant. Additionally, acts such as The Knife and Crystal Castles have wonderfully refined this genre of kitschy digitalism- a natural development that Riot opts to ignore. With such a huge gap in their catalogue- 1999’s 60 Second Wipeout was the last studio releaseAtari Teenage Riot was afforded the luxury of an entire new cultural zeitgeist to cultivate for ideas and influence. However, Riot blatantly disregards this zeitgeist en route to a full-bodied embrace of dated social expressions. The whole affair is completely interchangeable with any of their other material from the mid-to-late 90s. The only problem is that the world has taken giant cognitive leaps in self-awareness since 1999. We have been a Pre-9/11 world, a Post-9/11 world, and are now venturing into the beginning stages of a Post-post 9/11 perspective where individual privacy is ultimately phased out under the guise of self-choice. America’s mindset, in particular, has gone from fearing the enemy who hides within to fearing the enemy from afar to basically fearing the unknown in just twelve years. I don’t think we could have given Atari Teenage Riot more material for a comeback album if we tried. With this taken into account, the whole exercise feels fairly insignificantand more than a little frustrating. Furthermore, by reverting back to their outdated tricks, the band all but forces the listener to indulge in

nostalgia if they wish to actually enjoy the album. However, if there was one era that is not ready for the ironic, wistful, nostalgic treatment, it is the self-satisfied, VRobsessed, hacker culture of the mid-90s and it’s neon visions of cyberparanoia prophesied in films like Hackers and Virtuosity. Perhaps Riot’s fanbase will applaud the band for refusing to abandon their roots and ideals- and I suppose there is some merit to that. But it’s hard to take Riot’s anger and resentment seriously when one stops to realize that all the Clinton-era, post-Punk, fist-shaking became passé once those planes hit the towers. In hindsight, the fury of the unaware seems quaint. In the present, it’s pretty ridiculous.

When it comes to Battles, the question on everyone’s mind is whether or not losing their innovative frontman, Tyondai Braxton, to a solo career will have an irreparably damaging effect. It’s been four long years since the release of their 2007 epic debutMirrored- and any hype Gloss Dropcarries with it has been built primarily on the undeniable strength of this album and how the band will respond sans Braxton. An audacious hybrid of explosive post-rock and sonic texture,Mirrored was a daring, exciting experiment, largely successful due to their frontman’s role as central tether. The good news is that Gloss Drop is it’s own dynamic affair with several tracks far superior to anything on Mirrored. Beginning with “Africastle”, the listener is in familiar territory. All of Battles’ signifiers are wellrepresented- the tight, driving rhythms, the foreboding atmosphere, the playful time signatures. The first half of the album is highlighted by “Futura”; a relentless force of a track that insists upon itself in the best possible way for over six minutes. Gloss Drop is endlessly provocative in the ambitious sense- yet it also retains the userfriendly comfort that Battles fans will relish. It is admittedly an odd combination

that the band pulls off quite well. The bad news, however, and it’s only slightly bad, is that Braxton’s absence can be sorely felt in sporadic places- most notably, the album’s second half. As the various guest vocalists pile up (and they are remarkably varied- Gary Numan, Blonde Redhead’s Kazu Makino, Boredom’s Yamantaka Eye among others), there are moments where it seems Gloss Drop may have worked better as an EP. Subtle hints- especially on the albums midsectionindicate the band is scrambling to bulk up the material. But if Battles occasionally spins their wheels, they regroup with album closer “Sundome”- a roundhouse kick of a tune that infuses calypso influence and tribal sounds with the customarily dynamic percussion and chord progression all garnished with a tasteful, electronic flourish. It is one of the best songs they have ever done and a powerful reminder that, while Braxton may be irreplaceable, so is the entity that is Battles.

Future: YALL is a compilation concept album produced out of Columbia, South Carolina with the goal of unifying talent to create one, distinct voice. Combining themes of post-modern innovation and Dystopian rebellion, it features sixteen different up-andcoming musical artists from the southeastern region- including Pan, Cassangles, Coma Cinema, Forces of a Street, Death Becomes Even the Maiden, The Dirty Lowdown, and more. Tune into the Columbia Beet Friday, June 17th for an exclusive interview and performance from Forces of a Street where they will discuss their role in the development of Future: YALL and the first of hopefully many Future: YALL shows beginning this Saturday at Art Bar featuring Pan and Tor Johnson. Both digital downloads and physical copies are currently available. You can hear the entire album and learn more about the contributing artists at All tracks are available via pay-what-you-want download at www.FutureYALL.bandcamp. com.  The future is now, Columbia.  Embrace it. June 16, 2011 11

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Utopia Open Blues Jam w Vic Scaricamazza

Utopia Jellyroll & Delicious Dish

The White Mule Ingram Hill w/ Justin Trawick

Saturday June 18

Wednesday June 22

Art Bar Gritz, Pan, Tor Johnson

The White Mule Composer John Lane and John Cage

Cafe Strudel Juice Box

6/23/11 :: Thursday

New Brookland Tavern Columbia Quad Squad’s Rockabilly Derby Prom w/ the Capital City Playboys

Friday June 17

The White Mule Delnora Reed (early show) w/ tba

Cafe Strudel Big Dixie

Sunday June 19

New Brookland Tavern 5:30Lost In The Middle Broken Innocence Solar Tide 9pm Velvet Jonez

Monday June 20

House in Five Points DB Bryant & Friends New Brookland Taverm

Cafe Strudel Charles Walker Band Keith Urban Colonial Life Arena New Brookland Tavern Sun-Dried Vibes Tyler Boone Deleveled Ned Derrett & the Kindly Gents Caretta Thursday, June 23, 2011 The White Mule The Honeycutters

Friday June 24 Cafe Strudel Ten Cent Poetry New Brookland Tavern Gritz Trublklef Rawzen Utopia Mike Mahoney& Doug Pritchett 06/25/11 :: Saturday Art Bar Today The Moon, Tomorrow The Sun Mean Wiener Cooter Scooters The Dirty Lowdown New York Disco Villains The House 5 Points The Supervillains Lefty at the Washout Rumpelstiltskin Utopia Jackaroe The White Mule Taylor Moore w/ TBA Monday June 27

June 16, 2011

Killing Time, was released this past February 22. The first song off the album, “Already Gone”, was put up for streaming exclusively on Personally, I wouldn’t classify them as punk band, but more as a traditional indie band. I guess in great music there is always some crossover, much like a good blow job requires some testicular attention. If you miss this show then you’ll miss me getting on my knees for Sean Rayford on the NBT patio. -Samantha Norton

Road Trip

06/17/11 :: Friday Shaun Murphy The Highballs Melting Point Athens Total Recall 2 High Studios Atlanta, Maze featuring Frankie Beverly Chastain Park Amphitheater Atlanta, Donna Hopkins Market at the W Hotel Buckhead Atlanta, Lubriphonic Smith’s Olde Bar Atlanta,


The first blow job I ever gave was to a guy from Bayside. Now that is an inspiring story for a band name! However this bunch call themselves Bayside because they on their way to a New Found Glory show in Long Island, with the intention of giving New Found Glory a demo CD, they were trying to think of a name to write and passed the Bayside train station and wrote “Bayside” on it. The good news is that their music isn’t as uncreative as the band name, and it also doesn’t blow. Their most recent album,

VOTA DownHere Tenth Avenue North Stone Mountain Park Stone Mountain, Rayland Baxter The Grey Eagle Asheville, Grown Up Avenger Stuff Amos’ Southend Charlotte, Greensky Bluegrass Double Door Inn Charlotte, BT Phoenix Charlotte, The Suex Effect CINDERCAT Grupo Fantasma Salvador Deli The Earl Charlotte, Atlanta illicitizen Kryptonite The Smokey Joe’s Cafe Quad Atlanta, Charlotte, The Heavy Pets Lingo Turner Ian Thomas Field Atlanta, The Evening Muse Charlotte, Over The Rhine Lucy Wainwright Owl City Roche Variety Molo Eight Playhouse Atlanta, The Fillmore Charlotte, Girlyman Eddie’s Attic Decatur, Phish Delta Verizon Wireless Moon The Amphitheatre Cavern Live! Charlotte, Jon Griffin, Lindsay Sol Driven Train Butterflies Live Wire Music Hall Visulite Theatre Savannah, Charlotte,

Dailey & Vient Happy Holiday Campground Cherokee, Big Daddy Love Motorco Music Hall Durham, Randall Bramblett Geoff Achison & The Souldiggers Wood Auditorium Fine Arts Center Camden, Michael Bolton Kenny G Family Circle Mazine Stadium Charleston, Graham Whorley Smokey Oak Taproom Charleston, Infected Mushroom Randy Seidman House of Blues N. Myrtle Beach, Willie Nelson Jamey Johnson Randy Houser Brantley Gilbert Craig Campbell Lee Brice Lukas Nelson & The Promise of The Real Charter Amphitheatre (formerly Heritage Park Amphitheater) Simpsonville,

Henry’s Attic Fiery Ron’s Home Team BBQ Sullivan’s Island, 06/18/11 :: Saturday illicitizen Terrapin Brewery Athens, Total Recall 2 High Studios Atlanta, Def Leppard Heart Aarons Amphitheatre at Lakewood Atlanta, Robert Randolph & The Family Band JJ Grey The Dirty Guv’nahs Ponderosa Dr. Dog Candler Park Atlanta, Tim Lee Relapse Theater Atlanta, Ben Deignan Smith’s Olde Bar Atlanta, Mama’s Love Sweetwater Brewery Atlanta, Lloyd Cole The Five Spot Atlanta, The Coathangers The Highland Inn Ballroom Lounge Atlanta, Black Jacket Symphony The

Masquerade Atlanta, American Gun The Jinx Savannah, Building 429 Rush of Fools MercyMe Stone Mountain Park Stone Mountain, The Mosier Brothers Shorty’s Pizza Tucker, Dave Turner Freh Broad Chocolate Lounge Asheville, Joe Deninzon Stratospheerius Hannah Flanen’s Pub Asheville, Geoff Achison & The Souldiggers Jack of the Wood Asheville, Jon Lindsay The Boiler Room Asheville, Frontier Ruckus Neighborhood Theatre Charlotte, Bess Rogers Too Music Party/ Belk Theatre Charlotte, Butterflies Casbah Durham,

movie times Movie Times for weekend of Friday June 17. Nickeloden Theatre 937 Main Street, Clumbia, SC 29210 I AM I AM is an utterly engaging and entertaining nn-fictin film that pses tw practical and prvcative questins: what’s wrng with ur wrld, and what can we d t make it better? The filmmaker behind the inquiry is Tm Shadyac, ne f Hllywd’s leading cmedy practitiners and the creative frce behind such blckbusters as “Ace Ventura,” “Liar Liar,” “The Nutty Prfessr,” and “Bruce Almighty.” JUNE 17-23, FridayThursday Friday, June 17 - 3:00, 6:00 and 8:00 Saturday, June 18 3:00, 6:00 and 8:00 Sunday, June 19 - 3:00, 6:00 and 8:00 Mnday, June 20 - 6:00 and 8:00 Tuesday, June 21 5:30** and 8:30 Wednesday, June 22 3:00, 6:00 and 8:00 Thursday, June 23 6:00 and 8:00 Regal Clumbia Cinema 7 3400 Frest Drive Suite 3000, Clumbia, SC 29204 Green Lantern new! (PG-13, N Passes) 12:10 2:45 5:20 7:55 10:30 Green Lantern 3D new! (PG-13, N Passes) 11:40am 2:15 4:50 7:25 10:00 Mr. Ppper’s Penguins new! (PG) 11:30am 2:00 4:30 7:00 9:30 The Hangver Part II (R) 11:50am 2:30 5:00 7:35 10:10 Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) 12:30 2:40 5:05 7:40 9:50 Kung Fu Panda 2 3D (PG) 12:00 2:10 4:35 7:10 9:20

Bridesmaids (R) 1:50 4:40 7:30 10:15 AMC Dutch Square 14 800 Bush River Rd., Clumbia, SC 29210 NA

Mr. Popper’s Penguins new! (PG) 12:15 1:15 2:35 3:45 4:55 6:10 7:15 8:45 9:30

Carmike Wynnsng 10 5320 Frest Drive, Clumbia, SC 29206

The Hangover Part II (R) 12:10 12:45 1:40 2:50 3:45 4:45 6:20 7:20 8:30 9:10 10:10 Bridesmaids (R)

Judy Mdy and the Nt Bummer Summer new! (PG) 12:35 4:05 6:30 9:00

1:05 4:05 6:50 9:45 Jumping the Brm (PG13) 1:35 4:40 7:25 9:05

Super 8 new! (PG-13) 12:45 1:30 3:40 4:25 6:40 7:25 9:25 10:10

Water for Elephants (PG-13) 1:10 4:10 7:05 9:50 Sul Surfer (PG)

X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 12:30 1:00 1:30 3:30 4:00 4:30 6:30 7:00 8:00 9:30 10:00 Pirates f the Caribbean: n Stranger Tides (PG-13) 1:45 5:15 9:00 Pirates f the Caribbean: n Stranger Tides 3D (PG-13) Disney Digital 3D 1:15 4:45 8:30 Jumping the Brm (PG13) 1:10 4:10 7:10 Something Brrwed (PG-13) 12:45 4:10 Thor (PG-13) 9:55pm Fast Five (PG-13)6:50 9:50 Regal Clumbiana Grande Stadium 14 1250 Bwer Pkwy, Clumbia, SC 29212 nt available

1:20 4:20 6:45 9:15 The Lincln Lawyer (R) 1:25 4:10 6:55 9:40 Regal Pastime Pavilin 8 929 Nrth Lake Drive, Lexingtn, SC 29072 Green Lantern new! (PG-13) 2:30 7:30 Green Lantern 3D new! (PG-13) 12:00 5:00 10:00 Mr. Popper’s Penguins new! (PG) 12:10 2:20 4:40 7:00 9:20 Judy Mody and the Nt Bummer Summer new! (PG) 12:40 2:50 5:10 7:20 9:40 Super 8 new! (PG-13) 12:20 2:45 5:15 7:50 10:25 X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 1:00 4:30 7:40 10:20 The Hangover Part II (R) 12:50 3:00 5:20 7:45 10:05

Carmike 14 122 Afton Court, Clumbia, SC 29212

Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) 2:40 7:10

Green Lantern new! (PG-13) 12:30 1:30 3:30 4:30 6:30 7:30 9:20 10:15

Kung Fu Panda 2 3D (PG) 12:30 4:50 9:30

Green Lantern 3D new! (PG-13) Digital 3D 12:00 1:00 3:00 4:00 7:00 10:00

Pirates of the Caribbean: n Stranger Tides (PG-13) 1:10 7:15 Pirates of the Caribbean: n Stranger

Tides 3D (PG-13) 4:20 10:10 Regal Sandhill Stadium 16 450 Twn Center Place, Clumbia, SC 29229 Green Lantern new! (PG-13) 12:00 1:40 2:40 5:20 6:40 7:10 8:10 9:30 11:00 Green Lantern 3D new! (PG-13) 11:30am 2:10 4:20 4:50 7:40 10:00 10:30 11:30 Mr. Ppper’s Penguins new! (PG) 11:20am 11:50am 1:50 2:20 4:30 5:00 7:00 7:30 9:20 9:50 Judy Mdy and the Nt Bummer Summer new! (PG) 12:05 2:25 4:45 7:05 9:35 Super 8 new! (PG-13) 11:25am 11:55am 1:30 2:00 2:30 4:10 4:40 5:10 6:50 7:20 7:50 9:40 10:10 10:40 X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 1:15 4:15 7:15 10:15 The Hangver Part II (R) 12:10 2:45 5:15 8:00 10:45 Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) DP (Digital Prjectin) 1:55 6:55 Kung Fu Panda 2 3D (PG) 11:40am 4:35 9:15 Midnight in Paris (PG13) 11:45am 2:05 4:55 7:35 10:05 Pirates of the Caribbean: n Stranger Tides (PG-13) 1:25 7:25

In 1977, director Steven Spielberg made a film called “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” which explored the mystery of extra-terrestrial beings. Now almost 35 years later, Mr. Spielberg teams up with director J. J. Abrams to give us the world of “Super 8”. Combing the love of making a movie, the paranoia of the 1970s, and aliens, we get a wonderful little film that far exceeds expectations. The plot of the movie surrounds a small town in suburban Ohio during the summer of 1979. Here, we center on a group of kids who are making their own little zombie flick so that they can enter a local film festival. On particular night of filming, the group witnesses an account of a train exploding right before their very eyes. Soon, the local army comes in and tries to make everything look like as if nothing had happened. The kids, however, try to discover the mystery behind this unusual train crash that leads to a being from another world. “Super 8” is an amazing movie that needs to be seen. The reason behind this is because of how good the production values are. For one thing, the cast is perfect, making the actors and actresses be believable and the performances outstanding. The direction from J. J. Abrams results in some of the best tense moments to ever be put on film. Yet what really makes this movie shine is the setting of the entire production. The location that all the action takes place in really captures

the atmosphere of the 1970s. Speaking of the 70s, the film captures the paranoia that was happening of the time, mostly having the United States come out of Vietnam, and letting people be aware that some terrible force of evil is coming. This movie provides a lot of great moments including young filmmakers who want to make it to the big league with their student film. Everything stands out very well here, making this film a perfect movie to enjoy. The only negative aspects that I can say for “Super 8” are the build-up leading to the main sections of the film and the alien that is revealed. The amount of time we get to where the main action takes place happens nearly 10 to 15 minutes into the movie, and that kind of turned me off as I was hoping for the action to have a slower start. The other thing that I can criticize the movie for is the way the monster is detailed. I’m not going to spoil anything right now, but let’s just say that the creature effects could have had a better design to them. Overall, “Super 8” is a great movie that puts you back to a time when movies were actually creative. This film has it all, great cast, great direction, and most of all perfect location for a science fiction movie. I recommend this to anyone who loves scifi films and the chance to be creative with something. Written by author/moviedude

Pirates of the Caribbean: n Stranger Tides 3D (PG-13) 4:25 10:25 Bridesmaids (R) 11:35am 2:15 5:05 7:45 10:35 Thr (PG-13) 1:10 3:50

8 0 3 -6 6 7 -3 9 2 3

June 16, 2011


SavageLove Sex Advice by Dan Savage

I’m a 22-year-old FTM. I will become a legal male this summer. WOOT. Useless hole but still no pole. My friends—all straight— don’t know because I don’t feel it matters. I don’t know any other FTMs, and I really don’t care to. However, I like men. I have never had a boyfriend. I go to gay clubs, flirt, dance, and make out with other gay men. But when I am up front about being FTM, I never hear from a guy again. My question is, when do I tell a gay man I have been flirting with that I am not a bio male? I don’t want to deceive them, but I at least want a chance for them to get to know me first. No Pole, No Go

Getting married soon. We want to put a note in the invitation requesting donations to organizations fighting for marriage equality in lieu of gifts. Which organization is fighting the hardest/most effectively in your view? Gonna Get Married Freedom to Marry (www.freedomtomarry. org), National Center for Lesbian Rights (www., and GetEQUAL (www.getequal. org)—and thanks and congrats, GGM!

I’m wondering whether you have any thoughts on the male tendency when sharing “naughty” photos to go straight for a closeup shot of the penis. Representative Anthony Weiner’s tweeting disaster has brought to mind a number of recent cases where high-profile men— such as Brett Favre—sent other women similar shots in an apparent attempt to seduce them. The first thing Buck Angel—trans activist, However, the response I’ve heard from women to public speaker, and porn star—wanted to say, such offerings can be summed up as “Ew, yuck!” NPNG, was congrats in advance on becoming a Do you have any insight on why some men think legal male. The second thing Buck wanted to say this sort of overture would work? was that hole of yours isn’t useless. Totally Confused Female “If he isn’t familiar with my work, maybe he should check it out,” said Buck (www.buckangel. Some men think this sort of overture works, com). “I get tremendous pleasure from my hole. TCF, because sometimes it works. Whether a transman plans on getting a penis or Before we get into that, I want to say a not, there still has to be a time that he realizes few words about Anthony Weiner: Nothing the that what’s between his legs does not define who gentleman from New York said last week made he is.” him sound like a man who hasn’t taken a picture It seems to me that time—the time you of his cock at some point and sent it to someone realized that you’re not defined by what’s for some reason. Nevertheless, I’m confident that between your legs—had to have come before Weiner is going to beat this thing. you began transitioning, NPNG, otherwise you Watching Weinergate unfold is like wouldn’t be transitioning. As for how the guys watching the voters-getting-over-politiciansyou’re meeting in gay bars feel about what is or who’ve-smoked-pot story play out all over isn’t between your legs, Buck has some advice again, only this time at warp speed and with for you about that, too: “If he meets a guy and sexting standing in for THC. With pot, we went tells him about himself—which is the right thing from exposure resulting in an instantaneous to do—and he doesn’t hear back, then that wasn’t resignation in 1987 (Supreme Court nominee the right guy for him.” Douglas Ginsburg) to a tacit admission being a If you’re not having any luck with messy survivable mini-scandal in 1992 (Bill “Smoked, face-to-face meetings/make-out sessions in gay Didn’t Inhale” Clinton) to a collective shrug in bars, Buck suggests you consider online dating. 2008 (Barack “I Got High” Obama). With dirty “If he’s looking to hook up,” said Buck, pol pics, we’ve gone from instant resignation “here’s a site where he can start: www.ftmlover. in February 2011 (Representative Christopher com. He’ll see that there are tons—and I mean “Craigslist Congressman” Lee) to a tacit TONS—of men out there who are interested in admission looking like a survivable mini-scandal guys like us!” in June 2011 (Representative Anthony “Beat This But before you start meeting those guys, Thing” Weiner). At this rate, we’ll be shrugging NPNG, Buck thinks—and I agree—that you have off the dirty pics of Rep. TBD sometime before to become more comfortable in your own skin. Labor Day. “Be proud of your body,” said Buck. “When you Getting back to your question, TCF: feel confident that you are a man, no one can tell The cock-shot overture doesn’t work on most you otherwise.” women, I’ll grant you, but guys who send cock And do you know what might help you feel shots aren’t interested in most women. They’re more confident? Getting to know some other interested in the sort of women that this sort of trans guys. overture works on. And the sort of men who “There are many reasons that someone think only with their dicks—and not all men are might isolate themselves from other trans and that sort—figure the quickest way to determine if gay people,” said Ezra Goetzen, a mental health a woman is that sort of woman is to send the cock therapist and trans community activist. “Some shot. And one of the women you talked to about folks identify as male-to-male, seeing their cock shots may have been that sort of woman, transition as a medical procedure rather than a TCF, but told you, “Ew, yuck!” because it was path to a transgender identity. Others, due to the clear from the “Ew, yuck!” look on your face that fabulously flattering cultural/media images of “Ew, yuck!” was what you wanted to hear. trans people in general, internalize the shame, Gentlemen: The existence of a handful of indifference, and disgust—and they don’t want women who welcome cock shots does not give to be reminded of these feelings by hanging out you license to send cock shots to all women. with other trans people.” Cock shots are for women who have expressed a Whatever your particular reason for clear and unambiguous interest in receiving cock avoiding transmen, NPNG, you’re doing yourself shots. a disservice. Speaking of Buck Angel: Documentary “Being isolated from other trans folks leaves filmmaker Dan Hunt (Cruel & Unusual, little room to find support and role models for Dangerous Living, Bear Run) has been following loving yourself,” said Goetzen. “And it makes Buck for six years and now needs to raise $6,000 getting invaluable tips on how to get laid safely to hire an editor to help him shape his new film. and carefully harder.” Please join me in helping Hunt to finish Mr. Angel by making a donation via Kickstarter: June 16, 2011 14

JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS “Crossword of the Decade”--gee, already?

by Matt Jones Across 1 Like a ‘60s foursome 4 Salves 9 He’s ennui-inducing 13 Solder component 15 ‘70s UK band ___ Heep 16 Sherman Hemsley sitcom 17 “___ it seems...” 18 Guy you see to solve your muscle connection problems? 20 Responses to “Has this been invented before?” 22 It may have an equalizer 23 It’s grounded in Australia 24 Tree goo 27 “Absolutely” 28 Show opener 31 Crux 32 Alan of “Little Miss Sunshine” and “Sunshine Cleaning” 33 It’s said coming and going 34 Journalist you can’t take seriously ‘cause he’s just so gosh darn cute? 37 Kilt pattern 39 “The Smartest Guys in the Room” subject 40 Almond ___ 41 Element before tent or bar 43 Kung ___ chicken 46 “That hits the spot!”

47 1501, in Roman numerals 48 James in the Watergate scandal 50 Poe poem about getting good reception with the girl of his dreams? 54 Mound that leases out rooms? 56 Jogger’s attachment, perhaps 57 “Get ___ writing” 58 Learner, in some cases 59 Game with mallets 60 Final Four org. 61 Alleviated 62 How old Jonesin’ Crosswords recently turned Down 1 One of Peter Rabbit’s sisters 2 Infuse with bubbles 3 Tends to the turkey 4 Where Forrest Gump was shot 5 Geometry class calculation 6 “Perfect Strangers” actor Mark ___-Baker 7 “Sin City” actor Michael 8 “Prove it!” 9 Abu ___ (figure in Islamic history) 10 Something left out 11 Dog first voiced by John Kricfalusi 12 It may be studied as a second lang. 14 Active person 19 Original, to Orff 21 Got in the vicinity 25 Cigarillo leftover

26 After-school gp. 29 “___ the season to be jolly” 30 Singing well 31 “By the Time I Get to Phoenix” singer Campbell 32 “La Boheme” song 33 Immediately 34 1987 3-D arcade game sequel 35 End for end 36 Shook in one’s boots 37 Jimmy open 38 Comedy legend Costello 41 Main female character in “Swan Lake” 42 Official press agency of China 43 Khmer Rouge killer 44 Colored ring, in botany 45 Did too much of, as a drug 47 Range component: abbr. 49 Shorten nails 51 Granny 52 Little bugs 53 Away from the wind 54 Solder component 55 “And so forth” ©2011 Jonesin’Crosswords (editor@

June 16, 2011


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Columbia City Paper v6i28  
Columbia City Paper v6i28  

Columbia's only locally owned Alt Weekly. This issue digs into a $350,000 City of Columbia settlement with real estate developers, and has t...