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Contents

Editor & Publisher Paul Blake paul@columbiacitypaper.com

July 7, 2011 VOLUME 6 Issue 28

Columbia’s very own Chazwick Bundick, the man behind chillwave sensation Toro Y Moi p. 6

SALES MANAGER Anna Bozard annabanana@columbiacitypaper.com

News.Politics.Commentary. Regional news Ladies start their own shooting league OPINION Worthless city council needed dog and pony show Letters to the reader dear area hippies Crime watch The zips are back Vocal booth entertainment industry tips Music Fr, Jones music reviews: The Cults, Artic Monkeys Haleyscopes pointlessly idealistic horoscopes

3 4 6 9 10 11 12

ARTS EDITOR Judit Trunkos jtrunkos@columbiacitypaper.com Circulation manager Laura M. Music Kingsley Waring, Fr. Jones Pg. 6

Movies.Entertainment.Etc. soundboard punk/indie/emo/ska/hardcore/metal/rock movie times Music savage love adult sex advice Jonesin Crosswords Cartoons Derf & Red Meat Sudoku

10 13 12 13 14 14 15

Account Executives James Wallace Staff Writer Kerry Boyles Contributors S.M. Baleem, Garrett Kellerhals, WR Marshall, Todd Morehead, Will Moredock, Ted Rall, Dan Savage, Kingsley Waring, Baynard Woods

Pg. 10

Columbia City Paper 2965 North Main Street Columbia, SC 29201 803.667.3923

Advertisers in Columbia City Paper assume responsibility for the entire content of the advertisements. The first copy of Columbia City Paper is free. Additional copies are $1 and two-bits each. Views expressed do not necessarily represent the opinions of Columbia City Paper or its publisher. If you do not understand that this is an opinion publication that celebrates the First Amendment, then you are a redneck lawyer, back woods judge or un-American. (C) Columbia City Paper, LLC


AIKEN Shooting leaves three dead in Wegener Police are searching for a man they consider “armed and dangerous” after finding three bodies on Daytona Road, according to the Aiken Standard. Police are treating the case as a homicide and are on the lookout for 46-year-old Kenneth Meyers, who may be driving a white van with ladders on the top. He could be headed for Alabama, and anyone with information about this crime or Meyers’ whereabouts should contact the Aiken County Sheriff’s Office at (800) 922-9709. Because it is an ongoing investigation, the sheriff’s office withheld many details of the case, including the identities of the victims until each next of kin is notified. CHARLESTON Store agrees to pay firefighters’ families $2 mil A Charleston furniture store has agreed to pay the families of nine firefighters nearly $2 million to settle a wrongful death lawsuit four years after a blaze resulted in the largest loss of firefighters since 9/11. The $1.9 from the Sofa Super Store has been split among the families, along with millions from lawsuits against furniture companies and a roofing company, attorney Kevin Dean told the Times and Democrat. They also received at least $640,000 each from workers’ compensation funds. “For the families, it’s been a tremendous emotional undertaking that they can now bring closure to and feel like that they’ve brought public awareness to the issue of avoiding these fires and deaths in the future as well as adequately taking care of the families and the over 13 children who lost their fathers,” Dean said. “It’s been a long four years.” The fire is thought to have been started by discarded cigarettes at the store’s loading dock area, and a 2008 report filed by the city determined that outdated tactics, inadequate training and old equipment contributed to the nine firefighters’ deaths. Furthermore, sprinklers on the loading docks could have contained the fire. The families accused the building’s owners of violating national fire and electrical codes, but the store owners blamed the city and its fire commanders for the deaths.

FLORENCE Weight-loss success wins Miss South Carolina Pageant Bree Boyce, who once weighed 230 pounds, was crowned Miss South Carolina at the Township Auditorium July 2. Boyce, Miss Capital City 2011, shed 110 pounds before winning a preliminary swimsuit competition at the pageant. She chronicled her weight-loss journey through her Facebook page “Bree Boyce – Eating Healthy and Fighting Obesity.” Fans congratulated her on the victory by posting messages on her wall. “I am so proud of you,” said Terry Harper. “I know how hard you have worked to get here. You are already an excellent role model; I can’t wait to watch you on your journey to Miss America!” Others just said, “Congratulations,” but many told her that she is an inspiration. Boyce is also the winner of the Lifestyle Change Award from the American Heart Association and says she hopes to motivate others to become healthier through good eating habits, exercising and believing in themselves. Myrtle Beach Man dressed as SpongeBob sells ice cream from his moped Jay Shoop, wearing an ice cream hat and a cartoon costume, cruises the streets and neighborhoods of Myrtle Beach selling ice cream and beverages to families and businessmen alike. According to the Sun News, Shoop has built a following among the residents of Myrtle Beach, with some buying from him every time he rides by their homes. Others just stop to wave or talk to the friendly man while waiting at lights or while passing him on the street. Shoop will even jump off his moped and pose to the delight of people sitting in their cars. Shoop said he loses a few pounds a day because of his heavy costume. HBO series to film on boardwalk Myrtle Beach City Council members voted unanimously to approve a special events permit for the popular comedy series “Eastbound & Down” to film on the boardwalk between July 5 and 9, according to the Post and Courier. Creater Danny McBride stars as Kenny Powers, a once-great professional baseball player whose abrasive personality and career failures force him to accept a job as a substitute P.E. teacher at his former middle

school. In the new season, Powers will be playing for the Myrtle Beach minor league baseball team. A production assistant with HBO, Scott Clackum, said filming will take place at the boardwalk on Ocean Boulevard, on the beach, and at BB&T Coastal field, but the show will return in August to film aerial shots of the boardwalk and beach. “We are thankful you’ve chosen Myrtle Beach,” Mayor Rhodes told Clackum. “This will be great publicity for us.” Other stars tied with the show include Will Farrell, a producer, and guest star Matthew McConaughey, who will be in town to film. NEWBERRY Ladies start their own shooting league Newberry County started a ladies-only shooting league to help women with confidence, as well as improve their shooting skills. Women tend to feel intimidated when they are surrounded by men with guns, organizer Angie Wofford explained to the Newberry Observer. The small group of women will learn about guns, gun safety and self defense from Earl “Tex” Wicker, Cindia Deith, Barry Heffner and John Harvey, who are all experienced members of the Newberry Pistol Club. The coaches encourage women to learn how to protect themselves, but say that owning a gun isn’t necessary. Instead, they recommend a gun-cleaning kit which can be bought at Wal-Mart. Ladies who are interested in joining the league can attend the next meeting on Thursday July 14, at 7 p.m. at the Newberry Pistol Club. SUMTER Lighting strike causing smoky conditions weeks later An unreachable fire continues to burn in the Pocalla and Pocotaglio swamps after lightning struck a tree in the area on June 15. State Forestry Commission officials are warning drivers to take caution on smoky roads in nearby southern Sumter County until the next rain. Drivers are experiencing the dangerous conditions between Tidal Road and U.S. 521 toward Manning in the morning and late afternoon, according to the Sumter Item.

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Dog and pony show Opinion by Samantha Norton Two events happened recently that highlight a problem in our community and an inept attempt by government officials to correct that problem. Event 1 Carter Strange was running home through Five Points when he was savagely beaten by a group of men/boys ranging in age from 13 to 19. Mr. Strange had to undergo both emergency brain surgery and facial reconstructive surgery from the beating he suffered. Mr. Strange managed to escape and was found TWO hours later by a passerby. It has also been revealed that prior to the beating of Mr. Strange, the group of men/boys tried to attack others people, but those people escaped unharmed. Event 2 The City of Columbia enacted an emergency ordinance imposing a juvenile curfew covering the Five Points area for the next 61 days. The curfew basically extends (there are a number of odd carve outs and inclusions along the border) from Gervais Street to Blossom Street and Heidt Street to Gregg Street with a spur that incorporates Maxcy Gregg Park. Additionally the city has enacted a 2 a.m. bar closing which will go into effect later this summer and some other measly steps have been taken that I don’t have room

“in

Five Points. Yet, after midnight (albeit on a Monday) a group of teenagers in Five Points had the chance to not only threaten and attempt to attack several individuals, but eventually became emboldened enough to savagely beat an individual. And where were police patrols during all that time? The teens had the time to try and attack multiple people, yet it seems that the police were never aware of a potential problem until Mr. Strange was found TWO hours after the attack. And he wasn’t found by a police officer walking his beat or slowly making his rounds in a squad car. He was found by normal citizens TWO hours later. That is what is inexcusable in this situation; the police in Columbia are so ineffective at their jobs that they can’t even adequately patrol a high profile area where a specific demographic - male teens - are responsible for an increase in crime. How is this inadequacy going to change with the implementation of the curfew? The police still won’t be able to properly patrol the same area; they will just have broader powers to arrest people under the age of 17 (at least one suspect in the Strange beating was over 17 and would not be subject to the curfew). And later in the summer when another abridgment of citizens’ rights occurs - people’s ability to freely associate and consume alcoholic beverages in private establishments for as long as they want will the Columbia police be any more able to patrol the Five Points area? That perhaps is an even more important question with regard to Five Points crime seeing how drinking after 2am will simply move from a centralized bar district where they couldn’t prevent criminal acts to a decentralized series of house parties. In my opinion that will actually give teens contemplating a crime even better opportunities to commit one. So to sum it all up...in response to the

response to the inadequacy of our police

department, the worthless city council, needing a dog and pony show to validate their existence and paychecks, has passed a series of attention

grabbing ordinances and in no way addressed the underlying problem” to address. The issue here is how are these measures going to be effective in preventing the type of savage beating that happened to Mr. Strange in Five Points. I say they wont be and the incident itself points to why. There has been a pattern for many months now of groups of teenagers causing general problems and even criminal acts in 4

July 7, 2011

inadequacy of our police department, the worthless city council, needing a dog and pony show to validate their existence and paychecks has passed a series of attention grabbing ordinances and in no way addressed the underlying problem. talkback@columbiacitypaper.com

Letters to the

Reader

Dear guard dog, You’ve got to pull yourself together around the vacuum cleaner, boy. That’s all there is to it. Please understand, this is coming from a place of constructive criticism. But, I chose your particular breed in the hopes that I’d have a wingman in the event of a bear attack or Armageddon situation. Like Mad Max and Dog. Hell, to scare away panhandlers at the very least! “Just don’t,” I’d said to myself, “invest in a breed that’s ever been dyed pink or dressed up in a little tuxedo.” But, frankly, if you’re going to panic every time I flip on the Dust Buster, I might be better off with a poodle! Do we understand each other? Pull yourself together, man! Columbia City Paper

Dear Columbia drivers, This is a friendly public service announcement reminding you not to sext and drive. Take it from me. The deliciously lewd FOX News coverage of the Anthony Weiner scandal got me in a lather on my way to a liberal discussion group one afternoon. Speeding down Gervais, I decided to send a quick sext to an old flame I’d been stalking. To properly set up the shot, I displayed myself on the lower rung of the steering wheel, arching my hips up to get everything in the sunlight for a clearer photo. Using one hand to set up the angle on my iPad and the other to apply glitter (all while steering with one knee), I lost control of the car, careened toward the State House, and, in a moment of tragic irony, nearly plowed into a group of MADD protesters on the sidewalk. Don’t risk it, Columbia. “Fly closed, eyes open.” Columbia City Paper Dear fellow dudes, We should revisit the official dude rule against carrying umbrellas. Generally, the choice between getting wet and looking like a 65-year-old woman has been easy. But, shouldn’t logic, gentlemen, eventually prevail? Most farm animals come in from the rain. Or, will it be too difficult to warm up to umbrellas considering most of us don’t even own raincoats? Hell, some of us can’t even get past the dude rule against putting up the hood on raincoats. (Honestly, though, what kind of sissy would actually do that? Where are your pink galoshes, pal? Man, you couldn’t pay me!) Know what? Forget it. For now let’s just stick to jogging, macho-like, through the rain and forget about the umbrellas. Let our kids’ generation deal with it. Columbia City Paper Dear area hippies, Your Quaker-like frigidity, asexuality, and self-righteousness had always rubbed me the wrong way until I got a whiff of an Asheville cafe. Thank Dass you have at least rejected the notion that reeking like a Russian bum’s ass is somehow making a sociopolitical statement. You guys smell like roses in comparison to your mountain brethren and I applaud you for that. Considering the oppressive heat around here, life in local coffee shops and open mic nights could be so much worse. Thank you, area hippies. Columbia City Paper


July 7, 2011

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Fr. Jones shoots the breeze with Columbia’s very own Chazwick Bundick, the man behind worldwide chillwave sensation Toro Y Moi, about inspiration versus motivation, touring overseas, live hardware, and the inevitability of musical experimentation. FR: Instead of a chillwave question, let’s talk heatwave. It was 105 degrees on consecutive days this past week in your hometown of Columbia, South Carolina. Do you care to say anything about that? CB: How many days? That sucks. That’s too hot but I’ve seen that before. I like that feeling though- the humidity and hot weather. Feels like I’m at home. FR: Currently, you are neck deep in touring. Just glancing over the past dates you’ve performed on this year, and the shows coming up- it’s a little intimidating. How do you plan to approach this second half of the live circuit? CB: Well, we’re going to change the live set a lot and make it longer for one- our set was too short. When I got the band together, we were already low on time to learn songs. We pretty much did as much as we could, learned as much as we could, and tried to do the best show with that. But other than that, we just really want a longer show. FR: You spent this past May touring overseas. From Warsaw to Glasgow and all points in between, where was your favorite place to play? Did your journey bring you across anything that inspired you as an artist? CB: Yeah. One of my favorite places is  Poland. I love playing there in general. It has a really cool vibe. The crowds there are really enthusiastic. They like to show how much they are into it. Music doesn’t make it out there as often as the UK, y’know? They’re really enthusiastic. But also- the big cities, like  Rome and Paris. Those are always treats too. FR: Can you tell us a little about your experience at South by Southwest earlier this year? CB: It was cool. This was my second year. It was pretty much like starting over again because this was the first time I did it with a band. It’s just a totally different experience. We had to carry all of our equipment everywhere and there was this extra stress. It was cool,

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man- but it’s a lot of work. We tend to do more FR: Today, people listen to music on work than we need to. We did like nine shows just about every format available - vinyl, in three or four days. So it was a brutal week. ipods, laptop speakers, even cassette tapes are coming back into the fold. Do have a FR: Speaking of South by Southwest- in preferred format? Do you think your work your opinion, who is the best act that no one lends itself to a particular listening medium? has heard of? What do these various listening methods mean to the music scene in general? CB: We saw this one band called Ava Luna. They’re from New York and there are like CB: I’ve always liked the MP3s. But they seven of them. They make this really great all have their plus sides. I guess my favorite Motown/pop music with a contemporary spin. would have to be vinyl. It just sounds amazing. Very energetic, really cool. They invited me to You can actually feel the soundwave on the their show and I was like, “Yeah, sure. I’ll go.” violin. That’s just an amazing thing. But I think And I liked them so much, I asked them to go cassettes sound great too. It’s cool to know on tour with me in October. that audio files all over the world are keeping everything alive really. FR: Your music stands as some of the best fusions of experimentalist production FR: On that note- how do you see the with pop songwriting out there today. music industry developing throughout your Yet for the past decade, it seems that career? Does it feel like something you are experimentation and avante-garde sounds constantly competing with? have been a hallmark of independent music to the point of being almost required. Do you CB: It’s a job- so it’s going to be think that pushing sonic boundaries remains competitive. But it’s not like the labels run important, or has experimentation become everything. It used to be that the labels throw passe? How do you see your music in this big money into bands and that would be thatcontext? making money, whatever. But now I think it’s more like bands have the tools and the power CB: I’m not sure about passe’. Music is they need to do whatever they want at home. always constantly evolving naturally. I think They can put it online and showcase whatever the whole experimentation part… I guess that’s and then they can choose who they want to go

“One of my favorite places is Poland. I love playing there in general. It has a really cool vibe.” just natural too. What I do when I make music is that I like to put my spin on songs from different artists but because I’m a totally different person with a totally different mind, it’s not going to sound exactly the same so that’s naturally going to be my sound sort of thing, y’know? That’s what I mean by my spin on things. I can’t sing like Paul McCartney, but I can sing how I think I can sing or how I feel comfortable singing. And then in turn it changes into it’s own thing. It’s like a cycle. When it comes to my music… I’m into all types of music from shitty rap to avant garde whatever. I appreciate it all for what it is. When I listen to Soulja Boy, I’m not taking him serious. I know that it’s just ridiculous. You’re not supposed to take it seriously. It’s supposed to be fun. When it comes to my music, I just think about all these things. Yea, it can be ridiculous but it would be fun to do this because we’re going to be doing it live.

to when the labels come to them. So that part is totally different. But the industry is changing. I wouldn’t say that it’s not as powerful anymore. But it’s just starting to adjust to the internet influence of finding music and how music is free now. I like the direction of the industry. It’s more interactive with the actual audience. People can witness a band’s growth and progression. It’s better than wondering where these bands came from.

For this album, I was thinking about what was going on live, who was going to be playing what. I just wanted a better live show. As far as the next album, I try not to think about that. That’s not usually how I approach things. I know that it’s always important to keep changing. So if I do an album that is live-based, I’m probably not going to do it again right after. FR: Do you have a favorite piece of gear either for production or on tour? CB: I like all my keyboards probably the most. My JX3P, my Roland. And I have a Noric, which I just got, it’s awesome. I like hardware a lot. It makes sense to have a lot of gear onstage especially when you can make it happen that it’s not a burden to have a bunch of stuff with you. I think it’s good to eliminate the laptop as much as you can when playing live because it’s more interesting to see. FR: On a more personal level, what is your perspective on where your song ideas come from? Are your methods for writing new material hampered by your busy 2011 on the road? CB: I just like to make music whenever I have time to make music. It’s hard because my inspiration and motivation are kinda the same thing. It’s like something in the back of my head, the first thing I think about is making music. I don’t really feel inspired. It’s more like a drive. I don’t know, I just always want to make music. FR: Any advice to up-and-coming artists struggling to make it in the 21st century music industry?

CB: Yeah. Don’t be afraid to try anything. Be honest with people and yourself. I think it’s pretty understood that if you want things to happen, you have to do it. You can’t just sit around and wait for it to happen. If you want to release something, say “Look, I’m releasing this.” Surrounding yourself with positive people, you’re going to get positive results. It’s pretty understood I guess. I’m pretty shocked still about how I got to where I am now. It just happened really fast and it’s not really a FR: On Underneath the Pine, your familiar career path. The way I got here is the sound took at turn for more band-oriented most common way, through the internet. And arrangements, as opposed to the synths-and- that is still weird to me. laptops approach on Causers of This. Is this a sound that you are more comfortable with As it just so happens, Chaz will be making and plan on sticking with? Or can we expect a pitstop in Columbia before venturing back the unexpected on your next major project? onto the live circuit.  Don’t miss Toro Y Moi with Coma Cinema at New Brookland Tavern, CB: I don’t know. I don’t really think July 14th.  Doors open at 8. about that. When it came to this album, I really - Fr. Jones wanted the live show to be taken up a notch.


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29203: A woman complained to police after someone entered her home through a rear bedroom window. The house was ransacked and the burglar made off with a stereo system worth $75, three DVD players worth a total of $145, one set of pots and pans and dinnerware valued at $150, and assorted canned goods and meats valued at $526. We think you should reevaluate your life 29206: If you see anyone with a blue when the most valuable possessions in and white motorcycle that has a USC your house are canned goods. (5/5/2011) parking decal on the rear fender, they 1802 Bailey Street may be riding a hot bike. As in, stolen. 29203: An officer found a 30-yearA woman reported one worth $4000 old man sleeping in an unoccupied missing from the front of her house on apartment in the Ames Manor Apartment June 1. Brennen Road complex. Apparently, he was sleeping 29205: A woman confronted her there to get away from his roommate after husband for staying out all night, but they had a fight. He had also damaged a instead of apologizing to her, he decided light fixture in the building because he to punch her in the mouth. He was found was so upset. So, if anyone is looking for later by police and it turned out that there a new roommate who may be emotionally was a warrant out for his arrest in another disturbed, you know where to look. county. A criminal and a wife beater? (6/2/2011) 5779 Ames Rd Apt 7-A 29203 Ladies, I think we’ve found the next Bachelor! (6/2/2011) 1004 Pine St 29205

29203: Police happened upon several suspicious subjects loitering and engaging in an apparent drug deal. When police approached, the subjects fled. And when the police yelled, “Stop this is the police,” they didn’t stop. Were the police really expecting them to? One young fellow was detained and arrested for loitering and failure to stop on police command. CPD protects our freedoms! (6/2/2011) 1100 Dorrah Street 29203

29203: A woman told police that her neighbor called “Nay Nay” arrived at her home intoxicated and started banging on the door and yelling to be let inside. When the woman understandably declined to open the door to her deranged neighbor, Nay Nay went to the back door and kicked it in. She returned to her own apartment and may still be on the loose. Hopefully, Nay Nay won’t strike again. (6/2/2011) 1403 Bailey Street 29203

when she started to act erratically, even stealing money from her companion, the woman decided to cut her losses and leave early. The girl started texting and calling her, saying she had put a “hit” on her and her family. The girl’s boyfriend, Lamar, who is apparently wanted for murder, called her as well and threatened to kill her. Maybe she should stay off of Facebook for a while.(06/01/2011) Woodrow St 29205 29203: A patrol officer found a man in dark clothing lurking around the area of a recent burglary. He asked the man if he had any weapons or illegal items on his person, and the man admitted to having one bag of marijuana. Well, at least he’s honest. Probable cause now includes “dark clothing” in the Columbia, S.C. legal system. (6/1/2011) 5901 Fairfield Road 29203 29204: A woman was fighting with her intoxicated husband when he took the keys to her rental car and drove away without her permission. When will he learn not to walk away from her when she’s talking to him?! (06/2/2011) 4309 Pine Forest Drive

29201: A police officer was advising the owner of a local Hookah lounge that the music was too loud when he found an 18-year-old blonde girl drinking liquor. The owner got a citation and the girl got a ride all the way to the Alvin S. Glenn 29205: When a young woman met Detention Center. It looks like blondes another girl on Facebook, she decided to really do have more fun! (6/1/2011) 919 split a trip to Miami with her. No surprise, Sumter Street. the girl turned out to be a psycho, and

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Peace and blessings!!! Back with another edition of The Vocal Booth which is currently approaching its fourth year. This volume, we are going to revisit a few tips that should help any artist or group thinking about diving head first into the world of entertainment. ENTERTAINMENT TOOLS OF THE TRADE TIPS Entertainment is an integral part of any discipline. One must know how to put on show if your goal is to seek supporters. Entertainment, as with any life choice, has both a good and bad side. Here are 5 tips to use if you feel that entertainment is for you and success and happiness is what you are after…. TIP 1--- Be YOU. How can you expect for people to subscribe to and support what it is you are if you do not subscribe to and support yourself. Being YOU means that YOU are comfortable in your OWN skin regardless of whether or not someone feels you are not cut out. Confidence can do much for success. (Check out ‘Juicy’ by Notorious B.I.G. for proof) TIP 2--- Be ORIGINAL. As time has proven this world is filled with ‘knockoffs’. Any product you can imagine, for example Crunch & Munch, has a knock off; in this case Fiddle Faddle. The reason why knockoffs are so common is because the first or original person, product, or even idea made such a HUGE impact on society that others just want to ride the wave. In music this is definitely a common trend. Most one hit wonders are just that because of the blueprint laid down by others--- Lil Wayne is simply a knockoff of Jay-Z. (Check out ‘Dead Presidents’ by Jay-Z first then ‘Hustler’s Music’ by Lil Wayne for proof)

or she accepts the title, position, and responsibilities of a slave. In order to tilt the odds in your favor, YOU MUST be assertive in your talent, assertive in YOUR self-belief, and assertive enough to KNOW when you are in over your head. The entertainment industry has done extreme amounts of damage to the lives of people everywhere (add any name of anybody from anywhere here_____________________) because instead of speaking their minds, most people hand over the wheel to others to do the driving. One of the greatest things about being an artist is that you are the resource everyone is after. If you decide to give your wealth away, there will always be somebody in the wings waiting on you with open arms. Knowing that both YOUR WORTH and ABILITY matter more means people will see only what you show. (Check out the careers of 50 Cent, Lady Gaga, U2, Miles Davis, Eminem, and even MC Hammer for proof) TIP 4--- STUDY, PRACTICE, and RESEARCH your craft. There is truly no way around this one. To be the best you must push yourself. The saying is that ‘ignorance is bliss’; believe that propaganda IF YOU WANT!!! (Check out Michael Jackson or Elvis Presley for proof) TIP 5--- KNOW YOUR LIMITS. Having a good idea of when you should throw in towel should always resonate in your mind. Entertainment is as unforgiving a discipline as ever. Here today, gone tomorrow. Prepare your exit plan as you begin to prepare your business plan. Know your limits in dealing with others. Every success story is successful because of the people you do not see; the people in the background. Make sure you team is tight; meaning that everyone has the betterment of all on their radar instead of self-service. (Check out The Clash, Lynyrd Skynyrd, 2 Pac, and many more for proof) ---the importance of these tips can and will vary throughout your time in the spotlight. Knowing your limits, practicing your craft, staying assertive, being an originator, and never downplaying yourself are tips that should serve you well on your journey. SALUTE!!! WORDS OF WISDOM

Time is limited, be sure to keep following your dreams. Stay Free!!! TIP 3--- Be ASSERTIVE. Too many times people are labeled and treated simply DJ KINGPIN-Villain of Vinyl as stepping stones for other peoples wants. (kingpinvillianofvinyl@gmail.com) The slave will never be the master if he

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July 7, 2011


I first heard of the Arctic Monkeys in 2006 during that tremendous moment in the spotlight when debut album,Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not was named on the Top Five Albums of All Time by Britain’s New Musical Express. Of course the album was nowhere close to this upper-echelon of musical accomplishments- in fact, artists such as The Killers, My Chemical Romance, and Coldplay rounded out the list. However, this didn’t stop the Arctic Monkeys from practically parasailing in on the lethal hurricane of hype generated by the Strokesa Perfect Storm of Exposure and Planetary Alignment deadset on making these guys the next Beatles, Elvis, and Jesus Christ combined while simultaneously blowing up the internet. When removed from the thunderous PR and examined within a vacuum, the band was revealed to be a ridiculously talented group of musicians lead by 19 year old Alex Turner (“Him?” the doubters cried. “He is but a child!”). Over time, the outrageous level of exposure surrounding the Arctic Monkeys threatened to even transcend the group as a whole. If there was ever a band that seemed fated to evaporate, it was these guys. The thing is though- Alex Turner and the guys never really went away. They quickly followed their debut album in 2007 with Favourite Worst Nightmare, another catchy affair seemingly made to set in stone the argument that, at the very least, the band was capable of replicating themselves. Humbug arrived in 2009- a distinctly darker, murkier, and ultimately looser collection of songs. The new Messiahs of Britpop seemed to be more focused, developed, and dare I say… grown up. I was curious where they would take their sound next. Alas I was apparently one of the few who found Humbug to be an interesting direction for the Arctic Monkeys. Because, two years later, here we are with Suck It

and See and it’s pretty clear the band is choosing to ignore any artistic statement they made on that previous record. An smothering exercise in ironic kitsch, Suck It and See is the “That’s what she said” of contemporary music. The hardcore Monkeys fans will no doubt fawn over this record. But as a less rabid member of the fanbase, I find Turner’s songwriting excesses grating when left unbridled. He is obviously an exciting wordsmith highly capable of delivering acidic, edgy lyricsthe three previous LPs are peppered with dynamic examples of this. But listening to  Suck It and See is akin to watching that forgotten 1991 Bruce Willis/Damon Wayans actioner, The Last Boy Scoutrampant quips, one-liners, and witty turns of phrases reign paramount against a mindnumbing background of sound and fury. Only  The Last Boy Scout was a knowing self-parody of the action genre, while Suck It and See seems to exist out of pure defiance. Perhaps the band was attempting to releaseSuck It and See as an indicator that the mellow edginess of the Humbug exercise was all a dream. Musically, though, they are as good as ever. The rhythmic hooks boast the usual combination of harsh and delicate romanticism while guitarist Jamie Cook is exceptionally lean and efficient. Several tracks on Suck It and See, such as album opener “She’s Thunderstorms”, “Piledriver Waltz”, and “Black Treacle” stand out as some of the band’s finer moments. But Turner’s lyrical indulgences become inevitably distracting. Turner is no stranger to flirtacious theatrics- but he is inadvertently spoofing himself here. And too often Suck It and See will drip with smarmy irony as a result (“Call up to listen to the voice of reason/ and got his answering machine,” Turner sings on “Reckless Serenade”). A little of this winky self-awareness goes a long way, a lot of it can become borderline suffocating. So where does this leave the Arctic Monkeys? Cheekiness aside, Suck It and See should undoubtedly be more successful than Humbug. It is more fun in the traditional sense- plus these songs are bound to kill when translated to the live circuit. And it’s important to remember, considering their discography, just how young Turner and Co. actually are (twenty-five!). Still though, I’m a little disheartened by the direction of this latest effort and hope it is not indicative of an impending trend. The Arctic Monkeys are too good to become a novelty act. And this is a statement I can make with zero irony.

Cults first turned heads earlier this year with the release of their Go Outside 7”. Hailing from Brooklyn, the band seemed to disappear into anonymity for several months before announcing their self-titled first album would be streaming on NPR before it’s physical release June 7. The result is a collection of hard-edged sweetness punctuated by the echoey, Sirenesque vocals of Madeline Follin to go with Brian Oblivion’s fuzzy guitar hooks- as well as a xylophone cameo and the usual Pep Rally percussion. It can be easy for the sounds of Post-Homage to get cheeky in a hurry. Just ask The Raveonettes- whose potential seems currently stunted by the lo-fi distorted self-awareness that followed their successful debut- 2008’s Lust Lust Lust. Cults, however, is an exercise in

wistful innocence with nary a wink or nudge. An addictive blend of indifferent brood/ rock laced with powdered sugar, Cults’ self-titled debut album feels as if it was recorded in a haunted drive-in theater. It reinvents the wide-eyed harmonies of 1960s Midwestern Americana by eerily adhering to ancient principles within a modern erathe results are as toe-tappingly wonderful as they are sinister. The listener anticipates a casual 21st century self-referential irony with this type of genre exercise. Yet the band refuses to break the fourth wall. Instead they indulge the darkness beneath the seamless facade- all the while with a straight-faced effervescence. Cults is an album that rewards those who listen closely (eg -the origin of the album samples preceding “Go Outside”, the vague sense of restless edginess which sneaks it’s way into Follin’s vocals). This is substance over style- only the substance is a fierce commitment to style, leaving the listener with a ghostly vision of meta-nostalgia. And if that sounds convoluted for an album full of sockhop ditties, it’s okay- because Cults have sugarcoated their ambition in accessibility. With a tone so faultlessly Malt Shoppe/The Archies that it becomes almost Lynchian, Dirty Beaches’ Badlands would be an ideal double feature.

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July 7, 2011

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7/7/11 :: Thursday Cafe Studel Bobby Sutton and James Ervin New Brookland Tavern Stepdad One, Two, Skidoo Nathan K. Toucans Utopia Open Mic w Bentz Kirby 7/8/11 Friday House in Five Points Finding Solace Casual Kings New Brookland Tavern Decadence Obraskai Confliction Inviolate Sylis Tin Roof Brian Collins

Utopia Rev. Marv Ward & Congaree 7/9/11 Saturday New Brookland Tavern “TIKI PARTY AT THE TAVERN” W/: THE NOISE BRENT LUNDY Deleveled THE FEED CONCRETE ANIMALS Tin Roof Brian Collins Utopia Papa String Band 7/10/11 Sunday New Brookland Tavern Thrown To Belial Crop Circles Von Wolfe Fero Lux

7/11/11 Monday New Brookland Tavern SceneSC.com’s Acoustic Showcase

Utopia Open Mic w Brett Mello

7/12/11 Tuesday New Brookland Tavern East From West My Brothers Keeper Against City Ordaince

Utopia Soul Mites Irvin Thompson’s Bday

Utopia Open Blues Jam w Vic 7/13/11 Wednesday Utopia Genious of the herd 7/14/11 Thursday Cafe Strudel T.C. Costello New Brookland Tavern Toro Y Moi Coma Cinema

7/15/11 Friday

7/16 Saturday New Brookland Tavern Cherrycase (Farewell To Columbia Show) Frontier Sons The Lion In Winter Paul Brazell Utopia The Natty Vibes 7/17 Sunday New Brookland Tavern Scarlett O’Hara We Are Defiance Casino Madrid Wolves Among Men TBA

Shallow Palace’s latest release Moondog & The Chocolatier was recorded in May of 2011 live by Nick Brown and Max Price in Greenville, SC. Brett Kent mixed the tracks, and at the end of the day they had 3 songs they dubbed Moondog & The Chocolatier. (The songs are available at shallowpalace.com) Yeah, these guys must smoke a lot of weed. However, despite the weird name for the compilation, it

is American punk rock at its finest. Make sure you catch this show at The House in Five Points in August. Shallow Palace has also teamed up with Sleepy Eye Giant and started a Kickstarter to fund an upcoming split 12” vinyl record entitled Mamushka. It will be an awesome indie rock experiment if these bands find the support from the local music scene that they deserve. -Samantha Norton

Road Trip

07/08/11 :: Friday Animal Collective Atlas Sound Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre at Eore Park Alpharetta Dank Sinatra Farm 255 Athens The Hypsys Rye Bar Athens Indigo Girls Atlanta Botanical rden Atlanta

Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Chastain Park Amphitheater Atlanta Ike Stubblefield Market at the W Hotel Buckhead Atlanta Moon Taxi Peachtree Tavern Atlanta Marshall Seese Little Country Giants Smith’s Olde Bar Atlanta Dead Confederate The Earl Atlanta

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July 7, 2011

Children Of Bodom Obura RX Bandits Maps & Atlases Zechs Marquise

The Masquerade Atlanta Who’s Bad 37 Main Buford STACEY EARLE & MARK STUART The Crimson Moon Cafe Dahlone Natalia Zukerman Eddie’s Attic Decatur Slippery When Wet Wild Bill’s Duluth slight Street The Rookery Macon Ralph Roddenbery The Old Crow Grill and Tavern Sandy Springs The Train Wrecks Huc A Poos Tybee Island Domino Effect North Beach Grill Tybee Island Marco Panaia Jazz Festival Veneto IT Jimbo Mathus Dexter Romweber Pihe Gringo Grey Eagle Asheville Psychedelic Furs

Gleasons Drift The Root Bar Asheville

Dreamkiller Deep South The Bar Raleigh Tim McGraw Luke Bryan Time Warner Cable Music Pavilion at Walnut Creek Raleigh

Dark Star Orchestra Pish Brewing Black Mountain

Rush of Fools LifeWay Ridgecrest Conferee Center Ridgecrest

The Lizzy Ross Band Bynum Front Porch Bynum

Shannon Whitworth Cove Creek High hool Sur Grove

Orange Peel Asheville Dex Romweber Duo The Grey Eagle Asheville

The Diordian Society Salvador Deli Charlotte Taylor Swift NEEDTOBREATHE Time Warner Cable Arena Charlotte Dangermuffin Caitlin Krisko & The Broadcast Carolina Mountain Ribfest at W Agricultural Center Fairgrounds Fletcher Rusted Root The Family The Blind Tiger Greensboro Jackass Flats High Rock Outfitters Lexington

Electric Soul Pandemic Yesterdays Gravy Mac and Juice The Whiskey Wilmington Graham Whorley Charleston Marriott Charleston Super Bob (formerly Bob) Lazy B Fairfax Simplified The Handlebar Greenville Blue Mother Tupelo Fiery Ron’s Home Team BBQ Sullivan’s Island efren Machiavelli’s

Bristol

David Church Terri Lisa Church Paramount Center for the Arts Bristol 07/09/11 :: Saturday Lingo Matildas Cottage Alpharetta Shea’s Gin Rye Bar Athens Domino Effect The Nowhere Bar Athens Indigo Girls Atlanta Botanical rden Atlanta Idina Menzel Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Chastain Park Amphitheater Atlanta Jason Lefty Williams Moe’s Original Bar B Que Atlanta Taylor Swift NEEDTOBREATHE Philips Arena Atlanta Mia Borders Smith’s Olde Bar Atlanta Von Grey Saint Frais The Five Spot Atlanta


movie times Movie Times for weekend of Friday July 8. The Big Mo Monetta Drive-In Theatre Monetta SC (803)685-7949 July 8,9 &10 Screen 1 Zookeeper Cars 2 Screen2 Transformers, Super8 Screen 3 Green Lantern, Horrible Boss Nickeloden Theatre 937 Main Street, Columbia, SC 29210 MEEK’S CUTOFF Set in 1845, this drama follows a group of settlers as they embark on a punishing journey along the Oregon Trail. When their guide leads them astray, the expedition is forced to contend with the unforgiving conditions of the high plain desert JULY 8-14, FridayThursday Friday, July 8th - 3:00, 5:30 and 8:00 Saturday, July 9th 3:00, 5:30 and 8:00 Sunday, July 10th3:00, 5:30 and 8:00 Monday, July 11th 5:30 and 8:00 Tuesday, July 12th **8:30PM ONLY* Wednesday, July 13th 3:00, 5:30 and 8:00 Thursday, July 14th 5:30 and 8:00 Regal Clumbia Cinema 7 3400 Frest Drive Suite 3000, Clumbia, SC 29204 Transformers: Dark of the Moon new! (PG13) 12:20 3:40 7:00 10:20 Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D new! (PG-13) 12:45 4:05 7:25 10:45 Bad Teacher (R) 11:40am 2:00 4:20 7:50 10:10 Cars 2 (G) 11:45am 2:20 5:00 7:40 10:15 Cars 2 3D (G) 11:15am 1:50 4:30 7:10 9:45

Green Lantern (PG-13) 2:10 7:30 Green Lantern 3D (PG-13) 11:30am 4:50 10:05 Mr. Popper’s Penguins (PG) 11:50am 2:15 4:40 7:15 9:40 Carmike Wynnsong 10 5320 Frest Drive, Clumbia, SC 29206 Horrible Bosses new! (R) 1:30 4:05 7:20 9:40 Zookeeper new! (PG) 1:05 1:35 3:25 4:15 5:30 6:35 7:40 9:10 Larry Crowne new! (PG-13) 1:40 4:10 6:50 9:30 Monte Carlo new! (PG) 1:10 3:55 6:40 9:25 Super 8 (PG-13) 1:00 3:45 6:30 9:15

Monte Carlo new! (PG) 11:20am 2:00 4:45 7:15 9:50 Transformers: Dark of the Moon new! (PG13) 11:35am 12:20 1:05 2:55 3:40 4:25 6:15 7:00 7:45 9:40 10:20 Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D new! (PG-13) 12:45 1:50 2:15 4:05 5:10 5:45 7:25 8:30 9:15 10:45 Super 8 (PG-13) 11:50am 2:25 5:20 7:55 10:30 X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 1:00 4:00 7:05 9:55 Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) 12:30 2:45 5:25 Kung Fu Panda 2 3D (PG) 11:50am

Regal Pastime Pavilin 8 929 North Lake Drive, Lexingtn, SC 29072 Zookeeper new! (PG) 12:00 2:30 4:50 7:15 9:45 Regal Sandhill Stadium 16 450 Town Center Place, Columbia, SC 29229 Horrible Bosses new! (R) 12:15 2:45 5:15 7:45 10:15 Zookeeper new! (PG) 11:30am 12:00 2:00 2:30 4:30 5:00 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00 Larry Crowne new! (PG-13) 11:50am 2:15 4:55 7:20 9:50 Monte Carlo new! (PG) 11:35am 2:10 4:45 7:25 10:05 Transformers: Dark of the Moon new! (PG13) 12:10 12:55 3:35 4:25 7:05 7:55 10:35 11:25

X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 2:00 5:30 9:15

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (PG-13) 7:35 10:35

Midnight in Paris (PG13) 1:25 4:00 7:05 9:40

Carmike 14 122 Afton Court, Clumbia, SC 29212

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (PG-13) 1:15 9:00

Bad Teacher (R) 1:15 2:20 3:45 5:00 6:30 7:30 9:00 10:00

Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D new! (PG-13) 11:40am 12:35 1:20 3:10 4:05 4:50 6:40 7:35 8:20 10:10 11:05 11:50

Cars 2 (G) 1:30 2:30 4:10 5:15 6:45 8:00 9:15

Bad Teacher (R) 12:20 2:40 5:20 8:00 10:25

Cars 2 3D (G) Digital 3D 1:00 2:00 3:40 4:45 6:20 7:20 8:55

Cars 2 (G) 12:05 2:35 5:05 7:40 10:20

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 3D (PG-13) Disney Digital 3D 5:00pm Jumping the Broom (PG-13) 1:10 4:10 7:00 9:45 Regal Columbiana Grande Stadium 14 1250 Bwer Pkwy, Columbia, SC 29212 Horrible Bosses new! (R)12:00 2:30 5:00 7:20 9:45 Zookeeper new! (PG) 11:30am 12:10 2:10 2:40 4:40 5:15 7:10 7:40 9:35 10:15 Larry Crowne new! (PG-13) 12:15 2:35 5:05 7:30 10:00

Green Lantern (PG-13) 1:35 2:40 4:20 5:20 7:00 8:05 9:45 Green Lantern 3D (PG-13) Digital 3D 1:10 2:10 3:55 4:55 6:40 7:40 9:25 Mr. Popper’s Penguins (PG) 1:20 2:35 3:50 5:10 6:25 7:50 9:10 The Hangover Part II (R) 1:45 4:30 7:10 9:50 Bridesmaids (R) 1:05 4:00 6:50 9:40

Cars 2 3D (G) 11:35am 2:05 4:35 7:10 Green Lantern (PG-13) 2:25 7:50

Aires The love of your life will ask you for the time of day… and then remember she has a watch and a clock on her cellphone and doesn’t need your sorry ass.

be like “gimme your money” and you’re going to be like “what’s up?” and he’s going to be like “please don’t kill me” and you’re going to be like: BLAM “I totally did.”

Aquarius You will get into a tickle fight with Jesus and win! (Which is the same as losing).

Libra You will pimp your ride so hard that it will give you money it earned out on the street.

Taurus You will win a lot of money and blow it all on (invest it in) fleshlights. Gemini You will accidentally shoot your elderly friend in the face while hunting quail only to have him publicly apologize to you for causing you problems. Cancer You will totally rethink the confederate flag while taking a shower. The new flag will be something that everyone can feel proud of and does not inflict pain or anguish on anyone. By the time you’ve dried yourself off, you will forget it what it looked like. Leo You donate a lot of sperm and consequently increase the world’s population of angry, balding men with backne by .000001% Virgo You will buy a gun and it will be totally awesome because some robber will try to

Pisces Do not think you are alone. It is one of those things that goes unsaid. Most people moisten the paper with the water in the toilet to help with those five wipers. Scorpio Your cats will smother you to death in your sleep. You should have gotten a dog. Sagittarius A smoking hot Egyptian princess will send you an email asking for your help. Send her all your money. Capricorn You will get really excited about finding the two quarters that have been sitting under your car seat for months until you realize that you can’t buy shit with 50 cents anymore. *Haleyscopes are not really written by Governor Haley

Green Lantern 3D (PG-13) 11:45am 5:10 10:30 Mr. Popper’s Penguins (PG) 11:55am 2:20 4:40 Super 8 (PG-13) 7:15 9:55 The Hangover Part II (R)9:45pm Midnight in Paris (PG13)11:30am 1:55 4:20 6:55 9:40

8 0 3 -6 6 7 -3 9 2 3

July 7, 2011

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SavageLove Sex Advice by Dan Savage

I’m a single 24-year-old gay actor/ singer/comedian who’s going to be a doctor in a few years—I have varied interests—and I think being in a porn flick would be really hot. I don’t know what the ramifications of ramming on cam could be with regard to my future career. The field I want to go into is a very specific burgeoning branch of medicine generally unrelated to sex, but still involving patient care, and I want to be on the cutting edge of this type of medicine. I don’t know how much the world of medicine pays attention to this sort of thing when checking up on prospective doctors. Thoughts? Wants To Film Lusty Orgasmic Lovin’

subchoice to make: Either you can adjust your expectations and stay with this guy, MM, and try to appreciate the things he brings into your life, or you can refuse to adjust your expectations and (1) be miserable in this relationship or (2) leave this guy and get out there and find someone else or die trying.

I’m a 22-year-old male with a vaginal fisting fetish. I have yet to tell my girlfriend of three years about this. First, although we’re in love, no relationship is 100 percent guaranteed, and fulfilling this particular kink would result in drastic and permanent physical changes that could ruin her for anyone else if we don’t make it. Second, I’m not sure how to ask. I can’t just say, “Hey, hon? Mind if I jam my arm in there?” Third, even if she were for it, I don’t know where to start! I don’t know if appearing in porn will make Fetishist In Serious Turmoil going into medicine more difficult, WTFLOL, First, at three years, all your kink cards but it sure can fuck up a political career. Sigh. You know, for a few minutes it looked like should be lying faceup on the table. She’s not Anthony Weiner was going to beat this thing. But obligated to get into fisting to please you, as the prudes and hypocrites—in Congress and the you’re aware, so you’re not going to “ruin her” just by broaching the subject. media—carried the day. Second, you say something like “I think Back to you, WTFLOL: Considering the amount of time and money that you’re going vaginal fisting is hot and I’m curious what you, to invest in becoming a doctor, and considering the vagina-haver in this relationship, think about the recent moral panic about a few stray dick it.” Third, I’m tempted to say, “You start by pics, I would advise you to err on the side of removing your watch,” but no one wears a watch not appearing in commercial porn, which would anymore and all wannabe vag-fisters should require you to show your face. But go ahead and start by reading Deborah Addington’s A Hand show everything else on an amateur porn site in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting. like XTube—just edit out any shots that show “If fisting ruined one for other partners, I’d your face and don’t let the camera linger on any have been fucked outta luck a long time ago,” distinguishing features (a distinctive tattoo that’s Addington said when I shared your e-mail with visible when you’re clothed, the parasitic twin her. She recommends plenty of lube and lots of Kegels, if your girlfriend goes for it. “The only that juts from your neck). ‘drastic and permanent’ changes that occur are My boyfriend and I have been together for the changes of mind and body that come when 10 years. A few years ago, he informed me that one realizes how much pleasure one can have,” he was molested in high school by a teacher and Addington continued. “That’s life altering. The was in a sexual relationship with this man until stretched-out black hole of doom is a myth. I’m he met me. I don’t have a problem with him 46 and can still walk up a flight of stairs without being bisexual, but I do have a problem with him dropping the Ben Wa Balls—and that after plenty not having a problem with his molestation. He of fisting, with more than one partner.” Speaking of gaping orifices: Rick Santorum feels it was consensual; I feel this man preyed on him. He used to drink to avoid dealing with his told CNN’s Don Lemon that he has gay friends emotions. He stopped drinking when he met me, and he loves his gay friends and they love him but this secret causes him to have panic attacks. I back. The openly gay Lemon, oddly enough, did help heal his wounds, but what do I get in return? not demand names and contact information for Not what I want. I give him love and I accept these gay friends. him—and he tells me that he doesn’t want kids I’d like to hear directly from the gays who and doesn’t want to marry me. He also hardly love Santorum despite Santorum’s belief that gay touches me. We’re better friends than lovers. If people are no better than dog fuckers and child I leave him, he’ll have no one. If I stay, I feel rapists, his promise to repeal the DADT repeal, alone. We have fun and make each other laugh, his desire to write anti-gay bigotry into the US Constitution, his opposition to gay adoption, and so it’s not all bad. But I’m pathetic, right? Midwest Mess his belief that consensual gay sex should be a felony. If Santorum’s gay friends love Santorum I’m going to get slaughtered for this: There as much as Santorum loves his gay friends, I’m are people out there who have panic attacks and sure they would be only too glad to speak to the drinking problems, don’t want to get married media about their love of Santorum. or have children, are cold, distant, withholding Santorum told Lemon that his imaginary gay “lovers,” etc., who weren’t molested by high- friends prove that he’s no homophobe. But if you school teachers or anybody else. I’m not saying believe—as Santorum has said repeatedly—that that your boyfriend’s history is unrelated to his gays and lesbians are a threat to the family and a other issues—I can’t say that—but if he doesn’t danger to the country, then you should be openly regard that relationship as the source of all his and proudly homophobic. So either Santorum is troubles, MM, you should stop insisting that he lying when he says we’re a threat to the family, a feel terrible/victimized/damaged because that’s danger to the country, etc., or he’s lying when he how you think he should feel. says he has gay friends. Which is it, Rick? Are you pathetic? No, MM, you’re not. IN OTHER SANTORUM NEWS: You’re in a relationship that’s not living up to The number-one Santorum site—www. your expectations, and it’s making you unhappy. spreadingsantorum.com—is now being regularly Now you have a big choice and a smaller updated by a smart group of new bloggers. For all your Santorum/santorum news, head to www. July 7, 2011 14 spreadingsantorum.com!

JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS

“Better Living Through Chemistry” -- a simple formula. By Matt Jones Across 1 Stirs (up) 6 The Emerald Isle 10 Far from appetizing 14 Go with the flow 15 “___: First Class” 16 Matty or Felipe of baseball 17 Result of The Hulk’s first press conference? 19 Darkness 20 Toilet paper layer 21 Two-___ (some bathing suits) 23 Wanna-___ (poseurs) 24 Half of zwei 25 Font close to Verdana 27 Where a journalist’s stories get turned in 31 Iditarod finish line 32 Analgesic target 33 Rather than 37 Greek letters that look like P’s 38 Shoes near the Reeboks and Nikes 39 Ceremonial act 40 Come out on top 42 Yours and mine, in the sticks 43 “I screwed up” 44 Jon running for president 47 Chinese fondue 49 Indie rock band ___ Riot 50 Tool paired with a bucket

51 Huffington behind the Huffington Post 53 ___-tai (cocktail) 56 Working away 58 “Let’s see who can prepare for their colonoscopy first,” et al.? 60 Jupiter’s Greek counterpart 61 Scott Baio co-star Moran 62 “Moon Over ___” (original theme song for “The Drew Carey Show”) 63 Muppet who speaks in the third person 64 Stunned state 65 French section of the Alps Down 1 “Rent” star Anthony 2 Adam Lambert was on it 3 Word before Gaga or Antebellum 4 Prefix for dermis 5 “I’m with ___” (T-shirt phrase) 6 Over the top 7 Candy-colored computer 8 Stopwatch button 9 Contest participants 10 “___ the lizard king” (Jim Morrison) 11 Nightspot where you can’t be too big or too small? 12 Asian peninsula 13 Big laughs 18 “I got dibs!”

22 Jimmy Choo specialty 24 Viewing range 26 Brash contestant on “The Apprentice” 27 Sales rep’s handout 28 Number learned on “Dora the Explorer” 29 Drug that’s only smoked in pictures? 30 Jewish delicacy 34 Gloomy 35 ___ vez (again, in Spanish) 36 Actress Sherilyn of “Twin Peaks” 38 Soaked up 41 Early baseball Hall-of-Famer ___ Rixey 45 Word said a lot by Mork 46 Vagabonds 47 Baltic Avenue building 48 Headwear for Miss America 50 Activity on a placemat 52 Tombstone locale: abbr. 53 Game show producer Griffin 54 Sphere start 55 Words before “old chap” 57 1800s Chinese general now found on menus 59 Lamb lament ©2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@ jonesincrosswords.com)


July 7, 2011

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Columbia City Paper v6 i28  

Columbia, South Carolina's locally owned alternative. This issue features an interview with Toro Y Moi, Governor Nikki Haley Horoscopes, Mr...