CODE M Magazine 2021 September Issue

MICHAEL TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

COLOR

JAI

WHITE:

THERAPY

BREAKING

THE SPIRIT

THE RIGHT

BRIGHTENS

THE

PRECURSORS MAKE HISTORY INTERRACIAL DATING

LEGS

WAY

THE NEW

WORK-LIFE BALANCE

SEPTEMBER 2021 ISSUE

INSIDE

14

CRYSTALS KEEP YOUR SPIRIT IN BALANCE The healing power of Crystals is growing in the alternative medicine world.

Whether they work for you or not depends on how you use them, how you understand them, and if you allow them to work for you.

ON THE COVER

22

MICHAEL JAI WHITE: BREAKING LEGS THE RIGHT WAY To say, “Good Luck,” to an actor is actually deemed to be bad luck. But for martial

artist Michael Jai White, breaking legs on screen has led to a wonderful on-screen presence and an outstanding acting career.

8 MOVERS AND SHAKERS Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

10 COLOR THERAPY BRIGHTENS THE SPIRIT Color therapy (or chromotherapy) is an alternative remedy that uses color and light to treat physical or mental health by balancing the body's energy centers, also known as chakras. This concept dates back to ancient Egyptians who used sun-activated solarium rooms constructed with colored glass for therapeutic purposes.

18 THE PRECURSORS MAKE HISTORY The hidden burdens of the elite are no longer buried by time. Cynthia Curry covers the people who paved

the way for everyone to have a better education.

26 MAN CODES Quotes by people of distinction.

29 INTERRACIAL DATING Today, couples who date interracially leave behind the worries of public perception for a larger need. They desire the success of finding compatibility with the same-minded person.

CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 3

[ INSIDE ]

[ INSIDE ]

34 THE CROSSROADS OF AMERICAN RACE RELATIONS The coloring of America is real and growing. This is causing the unraveling of some white Americans to the point of overstepping their boundaries. But we are here to let the Karens and Kens know there is nothing they can do about it.

38 GAINING ACCESS HAS NEVER BEEN MORE IMPORTANT The recent changes for Blacks in business has never been more critical. Access to the right people and information is driving results and changing careers.

ADVERTISE WITH CODE M Men of color influence the latest trends of popular culture, fashion, and music more than any demographic. Reach this audience when you advertise with CODE M Magazine.

Call 216-273-9400 to request a rate kit.

42

THE NEW WORK-LIFE BALANCE As Americans head back to the office, managers are discovering that creating a balance for their employees is their job to manage as well.

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

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CODE M Magazine was created to be a guiding force in creating a dialogue for black men everywhere. Code M focuses on the conversations of advancement, mental health, career choices, the political landscape and relationships that define and shape the lives of black men everywhere.

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by CODE MEDIA GROUP, LLC © 2021 All Rights Reserved

[ TRAVEL ]

CODE M / AUGUST 2021 9

MOVERS &

SHAKERS

C O V E S A 8 SEPTEMBER 2021 / CODE M

Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

K E L L Y

[ MOVERS & SHAKERS ]

COVESA KELLY

FELESIA MCDONALD

Voted #1 Wedding Planning Company three years in a row

by Fox8’s “Hotlist,” Covesa Kelly Events has made event planning expert Covesa Gragg one proud owner!

User friendly digital products don't just happen naturally. A lot of research and planning to go into designing websites and apps.

That's where Felesia McDonald comes in. She is a User Experience expert.

Covesa is an author, an energetic and passionate speaker, coach, and a business strategist with a background in banking and finance.

McDonald manages a team of UX designers at a Fortune 200 company, teaches the next generation of designers at Kent State, and has her own web design company.

DUANE GRIFFIN Duane Griffin is an entrepreneur, an innovator, and a designer. His mission and vision represent giving back to others. “I want to build companies that make the world a better place, one product at a time.”

Griffin empowers people to live their best lives by encouraging entrepreneurship, freedom, and creating multiple streams of income. Griffin is also responsible for fostering relationships and initiatives that bridge the financial industry with the overall community.

LEE V. FIELDS Lee V. Fields, Jr., is the Vice President, Community Development Officer at Premier Bank. In this role, Lee is involved with economic and community development, corporate CRA, urban planning, assessment of housing needs, and revitalization projects in several Northeast Ohio markets. Lee works closely with numerous nonprofit organizations and various government agencies leading to highly effective partnerships focusing on neighborhood revitalization, financial education, and small business development activities.

CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 9

health COLOR THERAPY BRIGHTENS

THE SPIRIT Color therapy (or chromotherapy) is an alternative remedy that uses color and light to treat physical or mental health by balancing the body's energy centers, also known as chakras.

This concept dates back to ancient Egyptians who used sun-activated solarium rooms constructed with colored glass for therapeutic purposes.

Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.

O

ne of the great joys of life for most of us is our ability to see the world in technicolor — the human eye is able to distinguish approximately 3 million colors. With that capability, we use color to make a statement, create a mood, establish hierarchy, differentiate teams, denote levels of accomplishment, designate your tribe, rally the troops, and even warn off or attract someone. Colors are even instrumental in helping promote healing.

Before we go any further, let’s define the word “healing” because it actually includes different types and levels of personal health. First, healing

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is individual to each person, meaning no two people will heal in the same manner via the same methods. Secondly, healing is relative in that what is healing for one person may not be healing for another person. Third, healing involves not just our physical bodies, but also our mental and emotional beings.

Finally, and this is the hardest one to accept, healing never really ends, especially emotionally. Just when you think you’ve healed or resolved an issue, you’ll be served another challenge concerning that issue. It’s like peeling an onion — there is always another layer to address. Each layer we resolve takes us more deeply into the core of that issue and ourselves. Color can help with that.

Just as we have seven chakras, energy centers in our bodies, we also have colors associated with those chakras.

• Base chakra – red = protection, grounding, survival, nourishment from the earth, trust • Sacral – orange = emotions, creativity, sexuality

[ HEALTH ]

•

Navel/Solar plexus – yellow = mental activity, intellect personal power, willpower, wisdom

•

•

Heart – green = love, relationships, integration, compassion

•

Throat – blue/turquoise = truth, creativity, communication

•

Third eye – deep indigo = intuition, inner wisdom, awareness

Did you know that for businessmen and politicians to come across as powerful and confident that they’re advised to wear a navy-blue jacket, white shirt, and bright red tie? Not only does it convey power and confidence, it also, at least in America, says that you’re patriotic.

Crown – purple-white/white = universal connection, spirituality, consciousness

CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 11

PEOPLE

[ HEALTH ]

12 JUNE 2021 / CODE M

Ever notice that many spiritual leaders wear white? They do because it denotes oneness with the universal power, as well as purity. Buddhist monks wear orange because it represents fire, which to them is the symbol of truth. Judges wear black robes to signify that justice is blind.

LIFE

So, we use color to convey a position or concept. But colors also evoke emotional responses. We use red and purple to convey love on St. Valentine’s Day. We wear black to convey mourning or resistance to social conventions, bright colors to show that we’re happy, excited, creative, or feeling our oats. Some people wear green to attract money, others wear dull colors because they’re feeling somber, listless, depressed, suppressed, or bored with life.

When it comes to healing, colors are associated with specific energetic properties and they can be worn, you can surround yourself with a specific color, soak in a tub of colored water, wear colored glasses, be bathed in a specific-colored light associated with your issue or ailment, or just visualize yourself filled with and surrounded by a certain color. As an example, it’s believed that wearing red can address issues of high blood pressure, paralysis, exhaustion, and rheumatism. Working with the color red is said to be like giving yourself an energy boost.

There’s a reason why we’re attracted to certain colors. Generally, it’s because of how those colors make us feel. Depending on our mood, our agendas, circumstances or needs, we’ll most likely choose to wear colors that are in alignment with how we’re feeling or how we want to be perceived by others. Vice versa, you’ll decide not to wear certain colors for the same reasons.

A significant component of healing is based on what you’re consistently thinking and what you’re feeling. Just wearing a specific color is not going to address the core of your issue unless you are confronting the underlying emotions, as well as the behaviors and habits associated with the issue. And, as was said earlier, healing is ongoing as you peel away the layers and discover more about yourself.

However you use color and for what purposes, focus on how the color makes you feel and what you’d like other people to know about you. Being able to live and move through our world feeling good about yourself is paramount — and how you feel about yourself will radiate out into the world around you. That’s also a significant aspect of healing.

Choose to be the light, love, peace, and joy you want to see in the world. Let color uplift not only you, but all those with whom you come into contact. Amending the Skittles commercial, “Be the rainbow.”● CODE M / AUGUST 2021 13

[ HEALTH ]

Life has definitely thrown us a curveball.

Discovering a new method to create a healthy balance is paramount during a time when we all feel a little off. Crystals offer a different way to get back to being centered.

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[ HEALTH ]

CRYSTALS KEEP YOUR SPIRIT IN BALANCE The healing power of Crystals is growing in the alternative medicine world. Whether they work for you or not depends on how you use them, how you understand them, and if you allow them to work for you.

By Brad Bowling CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 15

[ LIFE ]

I

f there ever was a time to discover new methods for creating a better outcome for yourself, the time is now. With all that is going on in the world, people are searching for new ways to create drastic changes in their life. Alternative medicines are providing exciting and creative ways to reconnect with your inner spirit and create the balance you need for a better life.

Crystals might be for you if you seek such a change.

Whether they are displayed on tables, placed in water bottles or worn on the body, crystals are growing in popularity as a healing provider. Believers say the colorful shards of mineral deposits can sharply improve and change your life and they lack negative side effects.

Crystals have so many uses for people.

Whether you have them in your home, wear them on your person or use them for a singular purpose, they can work for you.

Amethyst, for example, is thought to eliminate addiction and improve intuition.

Clear quartz, on the other hand, is believed to boost self-love and enhance immunity.

Let’s be clear, there is no scientific evidence that crystals can accomplish any of the claimed results. Though there are detractors who argue against using rocks to create viable solutions, the gemstone industry pulls in approximately $23 billion annually.

Still, the overwhelming response people can have from interacting with crystals is powerful enough to research and try using them if you feel like you need an alternative to taking medication. Achieving a better outcome or a better way forward is always the goal for anyone. The power of crystals is hard to ignore when you speak to the people who use them.

“I carry my crystals in a small bag everywhere I go, and they protect me from tox-

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ic people,” Brian, from Chicago, explained. “I know for a fact that my crystals have helped me create a healthier lifestyle for myself and they protect my spirit from negative things,” Brian concluded.

Brian is not alone. Since the beginning of the pandemic, there has been a huge increase in the number of people who have turned to alternative medications to find and improve inner balance, joy, peace, and many other mental and emotional qualities in their life.

There are hundreds of crystals that offer different types of healing, uplifting, awakening, enhancing, energizing, and calming properties. Crystals can also promote the flow of positive energy and help rid the mind and body of negative energy. Here are several crystals to consider.

CLEAR QUARTZ This clear crystal is considered a “master healer.” It’s said to amplify energy by absorbing, storing, releasing, and regulating it. It’s also said to aid in concentration and with memory. Physically, clear crystals claim to help stimulate the immune system and balance your entire body. This crystal is often paired with others like rose quartz to aid and enhance their abilities.

ROSE QUARTZ Just as the color may suggest, this pink stone is all about love. It’s said to help restore trust and harmony in all kinds of relationships while improving their close connections. It’s also claimed to help provide comfort and calm during times of

The use of Crystals have increased over 60% in the last 18 months.

grief.

It isn’t all about other people, though.

Rose quartz is said to also encourage love, respect, trust, and self-worth within one’s own being — something we could all use currently.

JASPER This smooth crystal is known as the “supreme nurturer.” It’s said to empower the spirit and support you through times of stress by preparing you to fully “show up.” It’s claimed to protect you from and absorb negative vibes while promoting courage, quick thinking, and confidence. These are traits that are extra helpful when tackling important issues — which is exactly what this gemstone may be good for.

OBSIDIAN An intensely protective stone, obsidian is said to help form a shield around you against physical and emotional negativity. It’s also said to help get rid of emotional blockages and promote qualities of strength, clarity, and compassion and aiding you to find your true sense of self. For your physical body, it may aid in digestion and detoxification while potentially helping reduce pain and cramps.

There is no guarantee that using a crystal will work for you. Again, everyone has their own experiences when using crystals. But the overwhelming response from those that use crystals means that it is worth a closer look if you need an alternative.

[ HEALTH [ LIFE ]]

CODE CODEMM/ /APRIL JULY 2021 15 17

history

THE

PRECURSORS MAKE HISTORY The hidden burdens of the elite are no longer buried by time. Cynthia Curry covers the people who paved the way for everyone to have a better education.

Written by CYNTHIA CURRY Cynthia Curry is a certified grants specialist, writer, speaker and author. Her passion is inspiring, teaching, and encouraging others through faith and prayer.

T

he stars at night, shine big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas; or, how about, everything is bigger in Texas? If that’s the case, the University of Texas at Austin (UT) must be a big deal?

UT is ranked as one of the top two colleges in the state and is among the top universities in the world according to The Center for World University Rankings. Since 2012, they have assimilated data on over 20,000 universities and institutions of higher education across the globe to determine the top 2,000 colleges. UT is ranked 33rd of best colleges in the world and 21st in the United States. They are 7th among the nation’s public universities.

Since almost every state can boast about their own great colleges, why then is The University of Texas such a big deal? Some could even say, that with all that’s happening in the world, “Who cares about what lies deep within the heart of Texas?” These are valid concerns if it were not for a hidden gem called the Precur-

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sors. Precursor is defined as a person or thing that comes before another of the same kind — a forerunner.

In 1956, just one year after Emmet Till’s lynching, a group of black students, became the first of their kind to integrate the University of Texas. Although there was a precedent that allowed graduate students into UT Law School under the 1950’s Sweatt v. Painter decision, that successfully challenged “separate but equal” doctrine of racial segregation established by the 1896 Plessy v. Ferguson act, that decision opened the law school to students of color and set the stage for Brown v.

Board of Education of Topeka, which desegregated schools nationwide.

UT Precursors were the best students at their own segregated schools, most graduated at the top of their respective classes.

They were awarded scholarships because of their talent and academic brilliance. They bore the burden of being the first “of

[ HISTORY [ COVER] ]

their kind,” and broke barriers to unlock an educational system that was only offered to whites.

minority students to not only attend an all-white university, but to excel at it.

In the university’s attempt to include them, they were constantly excluded, stigmatized, and overlooked. Upon arrival, they were not given housing, they were ignored by professors and students, and they weren’t allowed to eat in the student cafeteria or in any of the surrounding white-owned restaurants.

The Precursors first protest was to obtain housing. The result, substandard barrack-style dorms called “Dorm D and F” were created for male students. Female housing was located off campus at nearby Huston-Tillotson University, a Historically Black College.

UT gave them scholarships but failed to arrange for their humanity. Rejected and neglected, they focused on their reason for being there, to obtain an education. These first-generation pioneers had no one to depend on but themselves. At the height of segregation, lunch counter sit-ins, and getting an education while Black, these trailblazers paved the way for

Precursors had no choice but to fend for themselves. Black students assembled in the only place allowed other than classrooms, on “the balcony” of the student union. They created their own unique college experiences that included the card game Bid Wiz. They became their own resource center and found places to shop and eat, on the east side, where most of the Black people lived. They held each other accountable, warned of good and bad professors, and shared unsafe places on and surrounding campus.

CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 19

[ HISTORY ]

As the Precursors celebrate their 65th Anniversary this year, the indelible bond built in 1956 remains a legacy they uniquely share.

One of the absolute delights in developing this story was my interview with Precursor Judith Jenkins, now in her mid-seventies, a retired physical therapist from Austin Independent School District, who was valedictorian of her high school class and serves as the Corresponding Secretary. Speaking with her was a lesson in civics, history, racism, family, determination, legacy, and the power of the human spirit.

Ms. Jenkins’s story is an example of the vision of a Black grandmother with a 7th-grade education, wise beyond her poverty status, who understood the power of an education to alter the trajectory of her children’s lives. The result: three of her sons graduated from college, one participated in a master’s program at UT. Ms. Jenkins attended UT and fulfilled her grandmother’s dream, completing both undergraduate and graduate degrees in Michigan. Both of her sons and her granddaughter are UT graduates, and her great-nephew presently attends UT on a full academic scholarship. From the vision of her grandmother, a legacy was birthed that is now five generations strong. Come to think of it, her grandmother was an original precursor.

operations of the five health and human services agencies, comprised of more than 54,000 employees working with a total annual budget of $25 billion. Mr. Hawkins also served as a Senior White House Staff member under President George W. Bush (LinkedIn Profile: Albert Hawkins).

With a 65-year legacy, this month, Precursors are perhaps one of the most elite groups of their kind. They defied trends and preserved the class and dignity they were founded on. The Precursors have continued to evolve, even beyond themselves, including the selection of their first female President, Cloteal Davis-Haynes, the owner and cofounder of her own general contracting and onsulting firm, Haynes, Eaglin Waters, LLC (HEW). The company is a Minority and Woman-Owned Business with projects ranging from $1 million to $20 million.

Today, membership is open to all Black alumni who attended or graduated forty or more years ago. With support from the UT’s Division of Diversity and Community Engagement, the Black Alumni Network, and many other parts of the university, the Precursors collaborate with UT adminis-

Precursors are forever woven into the fabric of UT, civil rights, and Black America. Forerunners like …

Charles Miles, a 1960 graduate, who became the first Director of the City of Austin Human Relations Commission. Mr. Miles was instrumental in helping to integrate Austin public schools and institute prison reform for the US Commission on Civil Rights.

Precursor Willie Jordan, a 1963 graduate, became one of the first Black architects to be licensed in Texas. His notable projects include the iconic George R. Brown Convention Center and the rebuilding of historical Phillis Wheatley High School — his high school alma mater.

Precursor Norma Lawrence attended UT in 1956 and became a social worker for the State of Texas. Ms. Lawrence later became a business owner, opening her own day care center.

June Singletary McCoy, graduated in 1960. Ms. McCoy taught junior high and high school home economics for more than 30 years.

(Re: https://alcalde.texasexes.org/precursors/).

This month, Precursor Albert Hawkins will be featured on the CODE-M podcast/broadcast to discuss their legacy. He served in the public service sector for 30 years before creating “Public Policy Consulting” in 2009. Mr. Hawkins was appointed Health and Human Services Executive Commissioner for the State of Texas by Governor Rick Perry. The Executive Commissioner oversees the

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The Burdens of the Elite, by Keith Curry.

[ LIFE ]

trators to improve recruitment and retention of Black students and faculty.

It’s fascinating that with their individual and collective accomplishments, the Precursors have not sought public recognition. Their goal remains continuing the legacy of excellence in education and building the next generation of trailblazers.

The success of every Black person is shared with forerunners who sacrificed and carried a heavy load.

There is a silk screen called “The Burden of the Elite,” a beautiful piece of art depicting Black excellence. In it, Black individuals are at the epitome of success, basking in their own glory, oblivious to the sacrifices made for them to be there.

Underneath are other Black men and women, of the same kind, but from a different time, toiling, worn and weary, but holding no intentions of letting go. Though they are not visible to the elite, they remain ever present, carrying the weight of a dream they may never see.

The University of Texas Precursors Charles Miles and Leon Holland.

CODEM M//APRIL MAY 2021 CODE 2021 27 19

COVER

[ COVER ]

22 September 2021 / CODE M

[ COVER ]

MICHAEL

JAI

To say, “Good Luck,” to an actor is actually deemed to be bad luck. But for martial artist Michael Jai White, breaking legs on screen has led to a wonderful on-screen presence and an outstanding acting career.

Written by BRAD BOWLING Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.

C

leveland film lovers will get a treat when they attend the 10th Annual Greater Cleveland Urban Film Festival beginning on September 9 when Michael Jai White comes to town to celebrate Blacks in film. Attendees will have a chance to ask Michael questions about his film success, the industry, and how he has dealt with the pandemic.

If you are not lucky enough to attend, we have you covered. I had a chance to ask Michael several questions about his up-and-coming roles and about life in general.

WHAT LED YOU TO BECOME AN ACTOR? “I always enjoyed acting in high school and college, but since I seemed to lack the extroverted energy I saw in other actors, I didn’t take it seriously. I could naturally transform into different characters and shoot my own short films not realizing the unusual nature of what I was doing. After becoming a middle

WHITE: BREAKING

LEGS

THE RIGHT

WAY

school special ed teacher who’d audition for roles in theatre, film and TV in New York on vacations and days off, I realized how deep the desire to act professionally was in my blood. Finally, I decided to pursue it as a career.”

YOU HAVE 7 BLACK BELTS, WHICH IS YOUR PRIMARY CHOICE TO USE? “I’ve achieved eight black belts now. Of all the styles, Kyokushin is by far my favorite because of its disciplinary components. Kyokushin is hard! I consider it the Navy Seals of martial arts because you must endure tremendous pain and discomfort that builds strong character that very few can accomplish to become a black belt in. In my opinion, the strengthening of one’s will to overcome obstacles is at the nucleus of success. Therefore, Kyokushin is my favorite.”

CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 23

[ COVER ]

were to pick something specific, it would be a biopic of Paul Robeson. I believe I have the physicality, voice, and internal fortitude to “As I pounded the NYC pavement in search of work, I kept do great honor to the man ranging from his early beginnings as a getting closer to booking roles against known actors I’d see on Rhodes Scholar/Football Hero to his final years as an actor/opera TV and movies. Finally, I booked the lead role of Tom Robinsinger/political activist.” son in the first Off-Broadway adaptation of To Kill a MockingDO YOU HAVE ANY PROJECTS COMING IN 2021 YOU CAN DISbird alongside Tony Award-winning Broadway actors. I was CUSS? consistently singled out and praised by critics, which led me HOW DID YOU GET YOUR START IN ENTERTAINMENT?

to book more dramatic roles.”

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM ROLE? “As a very eclectic person, my dream role would be to go undercover as several characters in the same movie. But if I

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“Yes. I have a comedy/drama movie called Headshop with Nicole Ari Parker and Loretta Devine, where I play a minister. A horror/ comedy called Black Friday with Bruce Campbell and Devon Sawa, an action movie called The Commando with Mickey Rourke, as well as Outlaw Johnny Black, a faith-based, urban, blaxploitation, west-

[ COVER ] ern, action, rom-com, drama in the vein of Black Dynamite with a host of well-known actors.”

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE ANY YOUNG PERSON LOOKING TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS? “First off, I’d hope ‘following in my footsteps’ would mean ‘pursuing what you love as a career.’ This may mean acting or working for UPS. Luckily, I found what I was uniquely born to do, which is to be operative in writing, directing, producing, acting, and achieving balance in family life. I think success is achieving personal happiness regardless of money, so make sure you follow your inherent dreams and not someone else’s.

For those wanting longevity in the entertainment industry, I encourage to learn all they can from every department, build with those who share your vision and status, do all you can on your own until you need help, and finally — know if you are pursuing your dream, you have already won.”

HOW DO YOU LIKE TO SPEND YOUR FREE TIME? “I love any free time with my wife and family, no matter what we are doing.”

designed to provide education and jobs in the entertainment industry to achieve generational wealth for those involved.”

HOW HAVE YOU MANAGED YOUR TIME/LIFE DURING COVID? “I’ve armed myself with as much knowledge as I can to protect myself and my family. Fortunately, we have many friends who are front-line doctors and nurses who’ve loaned us their expertise. Once precautions are met, the trick is to live life as normally as possible. My wife and I have been working quite steadily through the pandemic and continue to do so. I’ve learned I can edit an entire movie on my laptop computer, so I feel more empowered than ever.

Zoom meetings and self-shot auditions have changed my industry for the better, and the awareness of spreading germs could never go back to the ignorance it once had.

I’ve lost two close family members to COVID-19, which directly reminds me of how precious life is. We who live on need to protect our lives but remember to live them.” ●

FAMILY IS OBVIOUSLY IMPORTANT TO YOU, HOW HAS YOUR FAMILY DEALT WITH COVID-19?

“We’ve all had COVID, but luckily we weren’t hit hard by the symptoms. We got the vaccination as soon as it was available. The hardest thing was the social change to our young daughter’s lives, but their recent physical return to school has been a triumphant return to normalcy.

ARE YOU WORKING WITH ANY ORGANIZATIONS FOR MEN OF COLOR? “For over 20 years, I’ve been an active motivational speaker for several re-entry organizations and atrisk groups for men, women, and children of color across the US. I’ve since started an apprenticeship program in my new studio, Jaigantic in Connecticut, for the underserved African American community

White and his wife have created a wonderful family and business using martial arts as a platform.

CODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021

25

MAN CODES: “You never know how or when you’ll have an impact, or how important your example can be to someone else.”

– Denzel Washington “Defining myself, as opposed to being defined by others, is one of the most difficult challenges I face.” – Carol Moseley-Braun “One important key to success is selfconfidence. An important key to selfconfidence is preparation.” – Arthur Ashe “In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”

– Michael Jackson

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QUOTES BY PEOPLE OF DISTINCTION

“Where there is no vision, there is no hope.” – George Washington Carver “The walls, the bars, the guns and the guards can never encircle or hold down the idea of the people.” – Huey P. Newton “Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise. I rise. I rise.” – Maya Angelou

Compiled by Bilal S. Akram

“Dear Young Black Males, Encourage yourself, believe in yourself, and love yourself. Never doubt who you are.

Always believe in yourself, even if nobody else does. Strive to be selfmotivated!” ― Stephanie Lahart “You are never too old to reinvent yourself.”- Steve Harvey

“Being realistic is the most common “I prefer to be true to myself, even at the path to mediocrity.” –Will Smith hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false and to incur my own “The harder you work, the luckier you abhorrence.” – Frederick Douglass get.’’ — Mike Adenuga “The battles that count aren’t the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourselfthe invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us - that’s where it’s at.” – Jesse Owens

“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10

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HEALTH [ LIFE ]

Explore methods to get in tune with your body and create the peace and tranquility you need with chakra therapy.

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LIFE

INTERRACIAL DATING Today, couples who date interracially leave behind the worries of public perception for a larger need. They desire the success of finding compatibility with the same-minded person.

Written by Armon R. Perry, PhD Armon R. Perry, Ph.D, is a professor in the Kent School of Social Work at the University of Louisville. He can be reached at arperr01@louisville.edu or 502-852-3234. To order a copy of Black Love Matters, click here. https://rowman.com/ ISBN/9781793622044/Black-Love-Matters-Authentic-Men'sVoices-on-Marriages-and-Romantic-Relationships

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I

n the months since Black Love Matters: Authentic Men’s Voices on Marriages and Romantic Relationships was published, I have participated in several engagements designed to promote the book and solicit readers’ feedback. In sharing their reactions, readers have expressed interest in learning more about the study participants’ perspectives on myriad topics including Black men’s role in teaching Black boys about relationships and Black men’s receptivity to mental health treatment. Another intriguing topic that has emerged is that of interracial dating.

Of course, discussions about interracial dating and romantic relationships are not new. In fact, there is a long history of featuring interracial couples in media and popular culture. From Sidney Poitier’s Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner to Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever and the biographical film, Loving, there have been several explorations of the complexities of interracial romantic

tory. In sharing their stories, these men talked about being less concerned with what their mate looked like and more concerned with their ability to connect with them as partners and lovers, regardless of race.

Interestingly, there did not seem to be a specific pattern or link between men who expressed being open to and having had experience in dating interracially. Some men were older and others were young. Some were white-collar professionals and others were working-class men. And while it was true that the men had varying levels of experience with travel, given that they all lived in the same city, there also did not appear to be any geographic distinctions to be made. Therefore, my conclusion was that whether one was open to interracial dating was merely a matter of personal choice.

Beyond the men’s receptivity to interracial dating, within the discussions were retread stereotypes about Black women’s attitudes and White women’s submissiveness. There were also several men who lamented Black men who married interracially after achieving professional and material success.

However, there were also some interesting insights. Perhaps the most interesting one from men who had experience with interracial dating was their discussions of how refreshing it was to be able to date casually without the pressure to formalize or label their arrangement as a “relationship” that carried with it some presumption of exclusivity.

These revelations are important because they shed light on the impact of the historically negative narratives of Black sexuality framing women as promiscuous and men as irresponsible, virile, and hypersexual. In response, many Black families have socialized their members to behave in a manner deemed as respectable by the broader society.

relationships. Therefore, it came as no surprise when interracial dating came up in some of my interviews with Black men sharing their attitudes towards marriage.

When the topic emerged, I found that some men were more open to interracial dating than others. For the men who had not dated interracially, their stated preference was to partner with Black women because of the weight they placed on having a set of common experiences that they felt could help them form and sustain bonds.

However, there were a few men who discussed having had interracial relationships. When this happened, I inquired into the circumstances surrounding the establishment of the relationship and the experiences that shaped the relationship’s trajec-

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To be clear, there is certainly nothing wrong with being modest or reserved with regard to one’s sexuality. However, an unintended consequence of the pursuit of respectability has been that a lot of Black men and women have found themselves and their sexuality suppressed and restricted in the pursuit of having to appear respectable.

One of the ways this manufactured morality is manifested has been that large numbers of Black men and women find themselves in premature or unwanted “relationships” because they either succumb to external pressure or want to reject the stereotypes about their sexuality meant to control their bodies.

Contrarily, the men in the study who had dated interracially

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[ LIFE ] reported being struck by the lack of formality associated with dating outside of their race. They commented on the freedom that both they and their partners had to date other people openly and dissolve the relationship when it was no longer fun, fulfilling, or if they decided to become exclusive with someone else.

For these reasons, some of the men felt that they could be completely free and transparent, facilitating a genuine connection. This also allowed them to concentrate on enjoying their partner’s company and getting to know them rather than being distracted by the implicit assumption or expectation that they were a committed couple simply because they were spending time together.

Of course, this is not to suggest that the men described interracial relationships as perfect. The men’s narratives indicated that these relationships were fraught with many of the challenges that one might expect including cultural misunderstandings and difficulty securing approval from friends and family.

Nevertheless, to the extent that not being compelled to enter into artificial relationships was associated with feelings of liberation and facilitated transparency and sincerity, it is likely that there existed the foundational components for solid and sustainable relationships.

Given that negative stereotypes about Black men and women’s sexuality persist in the broader culture, I recommend the following as ways to allow the men’s experiences to inform attitudes and decisions concerning partner selection: •

Advocate for fair and accurate portrayals of Black relationships in media.

•

Reject disparaging language that serves to demean or devalue Black men and women including the use of phrases such as “THOT” and “belonging to the street.”

•

Encourage and support Black men and women in their efforts to get to know themselves and to explore their romantic options freely before entering into serious, exclusive relationships.

In sum, one of the major conclusions of Black Love Matters is that Black men desire genuine connections with their romantic partners that are built on a foundation of intimacy and interdependence. While most of the men preferred and were intentional about seeking these connections with Black women, there were some who were open to exploring interracial relationships. In these cases, the men found that they and their partners felt free to let the relationship unfold organically without any self-imposed or external pressure to formalize their union.

It should be noted that feelings of liberation and the ability to build genuine connections were not unique to the men who dated interracially. In fact, many of the men who had only dated Black women were able to achieve high levels of intimacy and most of the Black men who had long-term and stable marriages were married to Black women.

Rather, highlighting this emergent theme among the subset of men who had dated interracially is an attempt to learn from their experiences and raise awareness about the dangerous stereotypes concerning Black sexuality and their enduring legacy that still negatively impacts Black romantic relationships and marriages in contemporary society.

Perhaps now that the light of truth is shining on these historical wrongs, we can move forward, and all be free to love and be loved as our authentic selves. ●

People are dating outside of their race seeking love over acceptance.

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[ LIFE ]

THE CROSSROADS OF AMERICAN

RACE

RELATIONS The coloring of America is real and growing. This is causing the unraveling of some white Americans to the point of overstepping their boundaries. But we are here to let the Karens and Kens know there is nothing they can do about it.

Written by David St. Vincent

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any White Americans are terrified of the shifting demographics in the nation and what they perceive it means for their future place in American culture. That fear is causing them to unravel — and that’s bad for everybody. It’s destroying an already compromised political infrastructure, undermining relations between citizens and public servants, and poisoning the well we all have to drink from.

At this crossroads in American race relations, we would do well to redirect our discussions about the role of white supremacy to discussions about white “primacy.” These two concepts

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are related but are quite different and identifying the difference is the key to mitigating and eventually eradicating the legacy of white supremacy.

Before we proceed, we must first define our terms and draw key distinctions. “White primacy” describes the seemingly benign default setting that the vast majority of White Americans are born and socialized into that prioritizes the feelings of White folks as the dominant factor to consider in nearly all interracial interactions — regardless of context. So, a White person can abhor white supremacy, detest white supremacists, and still be a promoter and purveyor of white primacy

David St. Vincent is a political consultant and freelance writer on public policy and social issues from Atlanta, Georgia.

without even a hint of consternation or consciousness. Like the power grid that provides electricity for everything we turn on every day, people literally do not notice it and almost never think about it.

Here is the critical distinction: white supremacy stands on a foundation of malevolent immorality. White primacy stands on a foundation of pragmatism. It is easier to make headway in a discussion about an adversary’s pragmatic considerations than it is to discuss whether or not he is evil. A

[ LIFE ]

white supremacist cannot be a decent person; but one who adheres to white primacy can and often is a decent person.

That is why a great many white people find it equally offensive to call their behavior “racist” as it is for them to engage in racist conduct — so long as they insist racism was not their motivation. That is why a bad actor like Donald Trump can do and say the most overtly racist things and get off the hook with nonsensical platitudes like, “I don’t have a racist bone in my body” or “nobody in the world is less racist than me.”

We can all be forgiven for our reflex to moralize our conversations about

race in America. Many of us have mastered the verses and the cadence but if we are just preaching to the choir, our consensus conversations are unlikely to move us forward any further than they already have.

At this point on the continuum of history, absolutely nobody worth engaging in dialogue owns up to a belief in racism or White supremacy — even if they uphold and promote it in the subtext of their words and deeds. The fact is, though, that the kind of discussions we need to have in order to move the country and the culture forward today must adapt to the reality of widespread denial and still account for the perverse and durable rationality of racism and white supremacy.

That rationale is based on the reality that stakeholders protect the stakes they hold. And that has no connection to the purity of a person’s heart or even the content of their character. In a politics and a culture built on capitalism, competition is a constant element in every equation that must be accounted for.

And in any competition, what advantages one player, disadvantages another — setting aside all moral considerations.

So, when the average White American suspects that he may be divested of any advantage conveyed by whiteness — even those he or she does not feel, is not aware of, or cannot even understand — what he hears is that he is sacrificing some competitive advantage in the comCODE M / SEPTEMBER 2021 35

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petition for whatever he or she may be pursuing in life. Even if that advantage is purely psychological. An entire class of political consultants has become wealthy by wringing every ounce of angst out of that dynamic.

These are the facts: Almost nobody thinks of themselves as a racist, regardless of their personal history, character profile, or racial identity. And the tiny but vocal bunch who openly identify as white supremacists remain an out-group in polite society. This is true despite the fact that they just experienced the ecstasy of having one of their own in the White House and watched an entire party of seemingly normal people bend a knee to him.

Based on these simple facts, it should be no surprise that discussions revolving around racism and White supremacy are highly unlikely to move the needle in any measurable and permanent way because almost nobody believes they are really a part of the problem. Until that changes, we will continue to rev our engines and spin our tires at top speed while remaining stuck in the muck.

culture forward on the race relations front, we must reframe our debates around race. Far too few White people relate to the problems themselves to have a constructive dialogue — and simply casting a vote for a racist like Donald Trump does not make a White person racist. It does reveal his unabashed commitment to White primacy, however.

Whenever we find ourselves watching a White person who seems perfectly normal and rational in most scenarios conducting himself like the reincarnation of George Wallace, we are witnessing a massive attack of white primacy.

The antidote to White primacy is the full embrace of pluralism — culturally, economically, and politically. Envision this: A giant dinner table with all the identifiable groups represented by one couple sitting in designated chairs. Under White primacy, the table may be bountiful, but it is rectangular with the White couple sitting at opposite heads of the table. It is their table to helm and to bless for all.

going forward should revolve around that juxtaposition as often as possible.

We can continue arguing over where racism and White supremacy torment us, and White folks can keep professing their innocence. And one hundred years from now our progeny will still be protesting, debating, and fighting the exact same battles we are fighting today. Or, we can advance “round table pluralism” driven by the ethos of inclusion unburdened by the ancient albatross of racial hierarchy.

When we hear people responding to some disheartening development on the race relations front by saying “we are better than this,” their denial is actually their expression of hope for the emergence of “round table pluralism.”

We CAN be better than this. It is in us to be better than this. But we need the language to speak it into being and a vision for what it will look like when we get there.

There is room at the round table of pluralism for everybody just as surely as there is enough sunlight and air for all of humanity to share. ●

Under plurality, that bountiful table is round with nobody holding a special place of honor. That is the vision we must advance. The racial discussions we have

If people of good conscience want to get in gear, get out of the ditch of dead-end discussions and move the country and the

The faces of America are becoming more and more brown according to the 2020 US census.

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BUSINESS GAINING

ACCESS

HAS NEVER

BEEN

MORE IMPORTANT

The recent changes for Blacks in business has never been more critical. Access to the right people and information is driving results and changing careers.

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ccess is the most important currency in our world.

Those who are able to increase their access over the course of their life will have the doors opened to resources they could never have imagined.

I grew up in Cleveland, pretty close to East High School.

My father was a laborer, my mother an aid at a retirement home. I did not have access to a spectrum of possibilities beyond what I could see in my immediate environment.

When I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would reply “fireman.” Even as a student in junior high, I didn’t have exposure to the full breadth of career opportunities that were possible.

By luck, happenstance or fate, I started meeting mentors.

The first influential mentor I had was my high school track coach, Michael Bailey. Coach Bailey was the first person I came across who helped me to consider a wider array of possibilities. In addition to that, Coach Bailey’s wife was a director at Inroads (a program that supported minority

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Written by George Sample George is Assistant Vice President – Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Opportunity for the Federal Reserve Bank of Cleveland. He is President of the Cleveland Society of Human Resource Management and is a member of the Board of Directors for John Carroll University and the United Way of Greater Cleveland.

internships). That relationship gave me access to internships (Kaiser Permanente & General Electric) that I would have never even attempted to pursue.

My boss at General Electric was Jackie Boesinger. General Electric had a hiring freeze when I was exiting college, so I couldn’t begin my career there. Jackie had access to other organizations, shared my resume with an executive at Lubrizol (a company I had never heard of), which led to the beginning my career there.

As I have progressed through my career, I have either found or been given access to opportunity time and time again. I would like to think that I have been faithful to the amount of access I have received and provided value in those situations. The access to these opportunities has allowed me to grow both personally and professionally to a level that I would have never conceived of earlier in my life. This level of access is in short supply for many people.

There are countless people who grew up in my neighborhood or went to my schools who didn’t receive anywhere near the

[ BUSINESS ]

level of access I have received. So many of these people are caring, intelligent people that I am honored to call friends to this day. I never had any magical qualities or special abilities that made me something utterly different from the pack. How many of these people, who are just like me, could have flourished with greater opportunities if they’d had a few folks provide them access early in life? Is there a Coach Baily or Jackie Boesinger for everyone? If not, shouldn’t there be one?

Some people have significant levels of access from the moment they are born. They know a life where they are surrounded by supportive friends and family, they have great schools, reliable transportation, etc., etc. My kids have this. My wife and I have done well for ourselves, so our kids eat what they want, have the latest gadgets, play all the sports they want, go on vacations.

When it’s time for them to start looking for internships and jobs, my wife and I will use our access to help them land the best opportunities possible. We can do that because we now have access.

match the demographics of its community, it might have an access problem. If the demographics of the organization’s managers and leaders don’t match the demographics of its overall workforce, it might have an access problem. Promotions are usually tied to performance.

Performance is usually tied to high visibility, high impact assignments. Receiving high visibility, high impact assignments is tied to a person’s level of access within the organization.

There are a few tools organizations use to increase access for its underrepresented groups.

•

Sponsorship and mentorship programs provide access.

Why should access like this be limited to a section of our population? Can we, as a community, band together to provide greater access to a wider range of people? Can we give a broader range of people access to more resources, more knowledge, more relationships? While it is true that the internet has made many things easier to access, it’s impossible to find something that you don’t even know you should be looking for. The access provided by mentors and guides includes broadening the scope of what people think is possible for them.

I work for the Federal Reserve Bank of Cleveland. One of the most important programs we have going is our Program on Economic Inclusion. The premise: Our entire economy is stronger if everyone who wants to work has the opportunity to do so. How do we accelerate the skill building and credentialling needed to capture these positions and achieve this goal?

Access when one enters an organization is another story altogether. If the demographics of an organization don’t

As companies become more aware of diversity, Blacks are taking advantage and gaining in executive positions.

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•

Leadership cohort programs are a good tool for providing access.

•

Inclusive workforce and succession planning efforts provide access.

STARTING FROM

The most important access within an organization is the access to high visibility, high impact assignments. These assignments are where true growth happens, both for one’s skillset and their reputation.

HEAD TO TOE: REBUILDING Access is the most important currency in our world. Access impacts the education we receive (formal or informal), the career paths we take, and the resources available to us.

Give your closet the boost it needs with the right accessories.

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However, access is not evenly distributed. As long as those with access hoard it only for themselves and a select few friends and family members, our overall communities will be less prosperous. We benefit as a community when all have access, so let’s work together to make access a reality. ●

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[ BUSINESS ]

As Americans head back to the office.

Managers are discovering that creating a balance for their employees is their job to manage as well.

Written by Rodney C. Burris If creating this mighty oak forest of like-minded Black men is of interest to you, I would love to join with you and explore the many ways we can collaborate. Feel free to reach out to me via any of the means listed below. Rodney C. Burris Leadership Mindset Development Trainer www.RodneyCBurris.com

A

For now, let’s explore the five key tenets to taking care of our people in the workplace as we enter this new normal.

Instead of their struggle being perceived as a reflection of their misunderstanding the new guidelines and policies, more than likely, this outward struggle may be reflective of an inward turmoil to find stability in this environment.

1) Re-Matching: As the work progresses, it may become increasingly more evident that an individual’s proclivities are better suited within a different division within the organization. It is the responsive organization that institutes a system of regularly recognizing and assessing these changes within their individuals. That then determines where their skill sets now best fit within the broader scheme of the organization.

Rematching individuals to areas where they can best thrive allows for a healthy work environment and helps create conditions for improved work-life balance.

s leaders entering into the workplace under the conditions of this new normal, it’s helpful to remember that some of our people may struggle with the adjustments that lay before us.

Therefore, as leaders there are five key things we can do now to take care of our people and help them achieve a new worklife balance. In actuality, all of our people are really like little, tiny acorns. And we, we are just like the forest, embracing them towards growth. But more on that later.

2) Flexible Scheduling: Inadvertently creating conditions within an organization that requires a person to be ever-present, always on call, and to have little life engagements, duties, activities or even sources of income outside of a job is shallow at best and debilitating at worst. It is the responsive organization that

Blacks are findng joy in a full weekend of activities to recharge their batteries so they can be ready for Monday.

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[ BUSINESS ]

allows / encourages its employees to engage in endeavors beyond the walls of the organization and, most importantly, a responsive organization creates the scheduling flexibility for this to be accomplished.

3) Doing non-work-related company events (on the clock & off the clock, and both mandatory & optional): Encouraging individuals to work on volunteer projects and or pet projects, and/or side hustle is a natural way to build value within the organization and provides a healthy palate cleanser so that people can then reengage. As always, individuals should still be held to delivering on their outcomes at the agreed-upon times.

Sit down with your colleagues and explore which versions of this dynamic can work best for your organization.

4) Professional Development: A responsive organization brings in training opportunities during work hours to help their people grow and build. Some of these trainings are focused on skills directly related to the organization’s tasks. Other training sessions are de-

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signed to improve a person’s outlook, their character, and their mindset with the understanding that better people = better people. A responsive organization regularly sends their people out to training that the organization identifies as helpful for their growth. Finally, a responsive organization has a culture of encouragement centered around employees identifying training opportunities that they would like to pursue.

5) Pet Projects: These are internal or external to the organization, school/pleasure/volunteer, a part of the overall metrics.

This is very similar to organizations providing opportunities for individuals to hang out after structured work events. Team builders are great at providing these opportunities during normal work hours, which shows added investment in employees, and allows individuals to feel carefree and cared for. That in turn encourages employees to redisplay the love, loyalty, and commitment for the organization with which they are affiliated.

Doing these five key things will help strengthen our people towards expressing their best selves in this new normal, bringing out the best oak tree within them.

[ BUSINESS ] There’s an ancient, wise saying that says, “The mighty oak tree right now dwells inside of the tiny acorn.”

Everything that an oak tree is and has become is also what’s currently residing inside of that little seed today. The acorn looks nothing like what the mighty oak tree will eventually become, but clearly, the fullness of that potential is already present within the whole time — and THAT was me.

As a matter of fact, that’s all of us …

Every single oak tree we’ve ever seen in our life was once confined by the hard shell of the protective acorn.

For some of us, the hard protective shell that kept us blocked was our neighborhoods, our statistics, our profile, our lack of education, etc.

our storms until this very day. In fact, the simple truth that you are currently reading this is PROOF positive that you have made it through 100 percent of your worst days so far — ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. Sometimes, people look at us and only see a hard, tough exterior without making room to understand that our tough hard exterior is what has kept the precious, nutrient rich potential of our ultimate form — our future mighty oak — from being damaged.

There’s an ancient, wise saying that says, “The mighty oak tree right now dwells inside of the tiny acorn.”

The crazy thing is that just like the acorn’s hard shell that houses the soft potential of the oak tree, some of the very things that seem liked they kept us locked in have also been the very things that have protected us through the worst of

For me, my hard outer shell was goofing off, fighting, being a class clown, and then hiding behind “good manners” and “respectable behavior” when convenient. My approach to living — my “shell” — both protected me and yet also kept me from growing. ●

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[ BUSINESS ] If it were not for the Black men who acted as the nutrient rich soil, rainwater and sunlight I needed, I’d still be confined within the protective (yet restrictive) shell of my own acornlike experiences, to this day.

When many oak trees unite, a forest is formed. Forests are known to provide shade, comfort, and protection to help life flourish. Black men, as the leaders of families, neighborhoods and communities, together, we can provide a canopy for others to thrive.

The truth is, our ability to move from great to even greater resides in our awareness that alone, we can stand strong, but together, we can improve the healthiness of this entire planet. Teaching simple truths like the five key tenets of the new work-life balance can be essential for all of our growth.

Together, we can provide the protective environment for our people to thrive. ●

Exercise is a great way to create balance after a long day at work.

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