The South Coast Insider - January 2023

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JANUARY 2023 Vol. 27 / No. 1

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January 2023 | Vol. 27 | No. 1 Published by Coastal Communications Corp.

Publisher and Editor-in-Chief Ljiljana Vasiljevic Editor Sebastian Clarkin Sales Manager Mari Burns (508) 916-0374 Contributors Lori Bradley, Stacie Charbonneau-Hess, Michael J. DeCicco, Shauna Ferry, Paul Kandarian, Tom Lopes, Sean McCarthy, Elizabeth Morse Read Layout & Design Janelle Medeiros The South Coast Insider is published monthly for visitors and residents of the South Coast area and is distributed free of charge from Mount Hope Bay to Buzzards Bay.

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January 2023 | The South Coast Insider The South Coast Insider | September 2020

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January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

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CONTENTS JANUARY 2023

COVER STORY

8

From A to Zen

BUSINESS BUZZ

10

Self-care after the holidays

By Michael J. DeCicco

12

The ABC’s of the Y

By Sean McCarthy

We offer a wide variety of products such as hay, shavings, several types of feed, as well as landscaping materials. In addition to our organic lawn care line we also offer 9 types of 100% bark mulch and several different options for stone, to spruce up your home landscape. We also have loam, compost and a 50/50 mix that is just right for reparing or starting a new lawn or garden.

By Lori Bradley

16

Coffee & Community

THINGS TO DO

6

Rejuvenate in January

By Elizabeth Morse Read

14

Making healthy choices

By Stacie Charbonneau-Hess

20

Perusing pages

By Sean McCarthy

ON MY MIND

22

Hero with a thousand Facebooks

By Sean McCarthy

18

By Paul Kandarian

New year, new flavors

By Shauna Ferry

HOURS: Opened Monday-Friday 8-5, Saturday 8-4, CLOSED SUNDAY

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508-763-5405

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January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

ON THE COVER

YMCA Southcoast is more than a “gym and a swim.” Whatever your age or energy, you’ll find an activity and a community ready to embrace you.

Learn more about what’s going on at your local Y by turning to page 12, or by visiting ymcashoutcoast.org.

Photo credit: Tyler Lamar.

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Inside derr

JANUARY 2023 Vol. 27 / No. 1

Faces of fitness

Book buddies New recipes Mocha Mecca

Sponsored by

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5

THINGS TO DO

e t a n e v u j e R

Seal Watch Boat Ride from December through April with Save the Bay.

IN JANUARY

by Elizabeth Morse Read

January may indeed be the dead of winter, but there’s still plenty of lively activities and unique events to warm your heart and soothe your senses. Explore the frosty outdoors, warm your hands on a mug of hot cider or cocoa, listen to music by the fireplace, or bring together family and friends for a bowl of hearty homemade soup on a cold, snowy day! And don’t forget that the days are slowly getting longer!

Take the family on a guided Seal Watch Boat Ride from December through April with Save the Bay, leaving from Bowen’s Ferry Wharf in Newport (savebay.org/ seals)!

“Discover Buzzards Bay” offers an online portal with information about more than 100 public places to walk, bird-watch, kayak/canoe, fish, snowshoe or cross-country ski (savebuzzardsbay.org/discover). You can find other outdoor recreation spots along the South Coast at thetrustees. org and riparks.com or stateparks.com/ rhode_island.

Enjoy live music indoors!

Bundle up and get outside!

Get outdoors with your binoculars and watch for migratory birds and snowy owls with the Audubon Society of Rhode Island (asri.org), Mass Audubon (massaudubon.org), the Llyod Center in Dartmouth (lloydcenter.org), or Sachuest Point National Wildlife Preserve in Middletown (fws.gov/ refuge/sachuest)!

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Stomp your feet at Fall River’s Narrows Center for the Arts this month – enjoy Funky White Honkies January 6, Forever Young January 13, Neal and the Vipers January 20, Pearly Baker Band January 27, Johnny Hoy and the Bluefish January 28 (narrowscenter.com).

Stay warm indoors at the Spire Center in Plymouth and enjoy the music of Rhett Miller January 20, Joshua Tree January 21, Plymouth Philharmonic Orchestra: The Music of James Bond January 28-29 (spirecenter.org).

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

Head for the Zeiterion in downtown New Bedford to hear Get the Led Out January 19, the New Bedford Symphony Orchestra perform “The Magic of Disney: 100 Years of Wonder” January 28, Llama, Llama Live! January 29 (zeiterion.org).

Check out the concert series at the Newport Public Library! Listen to the Ocean State Ramblers on January 21 (newportlibraryri.org)!

Listen to the South Coast Chamber Music Series perform “Bassoonia” on January 14 at St. Gabriel’s Church in Marion or on January 15 at St. Gabriel’s Church in Dartmouth (nbsymphony.org/ chamber-music-series).

Don’t miss the Rhode Island Philharmonic’s performance of “Romantic Chopin” at The VETS in Providence on January 20-21 (riphil.org).

Check out who’s on stage at Taunton’s District Center for the Arts! Enjoy Draw the Line January 7, Nasty Habits January 13, MONSTA January 21, Living on a Bad Name January 27 (thedistrictcenterforarts.com).

The shows must go on

Enjoy Broadway show performances

What’s coming in February

Plan ahead for the Annual Newport Winter Festival on February 17-26 (newportwinterfestival.com), including the Bowen’s Wharf Winter Sale, with in-store events and restaurant promotions (bowenswharf.com)!

Take the kids to see Monster Jam on February 3-5 at the Dunkin Donuts Center in Providence (dunkindonutscenter.com)!

Relax and listen to Our Lady of Light Band, Banda Filharmonica Santa Cecilia and the Tri-County Symphonic Band perform on February 5 at UMass Dartmouth (tricountysymphonicband.org)!

Don’t miss the Fall River Symphony Orchestra’s Winter Concert on February 19 at BCC (fallriver symphonyorchestra.org)!

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Family fun on the ice and snow

You’re never too old to build a snowman or have a snowball fight! Get out the sleds and toboggans and put on those boots and mittens. It’s time to lace up your ice skates (or rent them) at indoor skating rinks: Viva Fall River!

by Portuguese-based designersAlexio Mariana Branco Driscoll ArenaCreated in Fall River, Hetland Arena lettering in New Bedford, and Arena Emanuel Barreira of Halfstudio, and executed by local artist Gregory Pennisten, a in Taunton, or Armstrong Arena in Plymouth. new 40’ by 60’ mural called “Viva Fall River” was unveiled at Fall River’s Kay Building, owned by Anthony F. Cordeiro and family, a short walk from the Quequechan River Rail Trail. The mural celebrates Fall Riverites of Portuguese descent.

The network startedHead as AHA! on the South Coast! for Fall the River through the Community of Providence PerformingFoundation Arts Center Southeastern in 2014 a focus on to see “JaggedMA Little Pill” with January 17-22, highlighting the31-February multitude of5art, music, “Annie” January (ppacri.org)! theater, charity, historical, cultural Take the kids to “Disney and on Ice” through events throughout greater Fall River.

January 2 at the Dunkin Donuts Center Since April 2017, it has been a 501(c) in Providence (dunkindonutscenter.

(3) nonprofit organization with a target com)! audience includes not only residents Head forthat Pilgrim Memorial Hall in but also visitors from towns on both Plymouth to watch Cage Titans on sides of the Taunton River and Mount Hope Bay, January 7 (memorialhall.com)! and from Boston to Providence.

Check out the new season of The “After three years working under the Wilbury Group in Providence – don’t AHA label,” Dennis “we realized miss “We’reDave Gonna Die” said, January this model wasn’t compatible with the 19-February 12 (thewilburygroup.org). needs of Fall River, notof tolive mention thewith Rediscover the thrill theatre difficulty connecting withTheatre the AHAinname. the new season at Your New Our financial stability since then has Bedford!

Enjoy “Proclivities” January allowed27-29 us to make the decision to move 20-22, (yourtheatre.org). inDon’t a new direction toRep’s position ourselves to miss Trinity performances better meet the needs and demands of a of “By the Queen” January 12-February gateway city. In 2017, through research, 12 in Providence (trinityrep.com). focus groups, and marketing specialists, we formed Creative Arts Network Inc. (CAN), alongAmerican with a branding logo, then Celebrate craft beers on formed a29 501(c)(3) nonprofit organizaJanuary at the 10th Rhode Island tion.”

Brewfest at the WaterFire Arts Center Covid restrictions this past year, inWith Providence (ribrewfest.com)!

Dennis said,out CAN has pivoted live Take a bite of winter!

Checkfrom out the eventsduring to virtual events through its menus Providence’s Restaurant Facebook page and(goprovidence.com/rw). website. Some of the Week January 9-22 creative events started with ArtWeek at Home in May where it offered a week-long virtual from lessons, cooking Learnevent how to lineart dance at the New

Eat, drink and be merry!

Learn something new

Bedford’s Kilburn Mills (facebook.com/ lessons, dance lessons, concerts, and aandmdanceacademy.com). crafts for kids. For Valentine’s Day it Try your handlessons, at pickleball at offered dance art lessons, Fairhaven’s indoor instructions on how Southcoast to set a perfect table, Pickleball arena how to make that(southcoastpickleball. special drink, and how com). to make chocolate-covered strawberries. head start on spring and attend ItGet hasaalso sponsored two groups of locala workshop January 21Community on Veggie Garden students from a local College Design Blithewold for theirat class projects.Mansion The mostand recent Gardens in Bristoltours (blithewold.org). class put together for National Check out the May Moby-Dick Marathon, Tourism Week, 2-8. CAN’s other with from was around the world, mostreaders recent event a collaboration at New Whaling Museum with theBedford’s Fall River Public Library for an (whalingmuseum.org).

Earth Day event. CAN has also taken on a Stroll throughto the Newport Car policy role in working have more public Museum in Portsmouth!

Ninety-plus implemented around art and culture. Over vintage driving simulators the pastcars yearand we have seen the newly (newportcarmuseum.org)! formed Fall River Waterfront Cultural District, June 25 has been proclaimed Hydrangea Day, the City Council voted the Stay healthy winter!

“Walk with hydrangea thethis official ornamental flower aofDoc” on Saturday mornings at the the city, and CAN’s current proposal Dartmouth Mall, partArt of Policy the New is for a formal Public with the Bedford Initiative (nbewell). formationWellness of a Public Art Commission.

Get touch with nature and yourself Thisin summer, Dennis said,–CAN hopes to –return at thetoNorman Birdlive Sanctuary small-scale events such as in Attendaamural “Winter anMiddletown! open-air art exhibit, wayfinding Wellness Workshop” on of January 13 project, the continuation the group’s (normanbirdsanctuary.org). hydrangea beautification program, and the videos in meditation, aCheck festivalout to highlight a variety of art and tai chi, yoga, smoking culture activities with acessation focus on the city’s or hypnosis and withshops. the New Bedford restaurants Wellness (facebook.com/ For more Initiative information on how to get newbedfordwellnessinitiative). involved go to creativeartsnetwork.org.

We buy GOLD and DIAMONDS

Take care of yourself

CELEBRATING 132 133 YEARS! CELEBRATING YEARS!

January June2023 2021 | The South Coast Insider

7 11

COVER STORY

From

A to

Zen

Meditation is not as difficult as the beginner may fear it to be.

S

erlingpa Meditation Center, 514 Pleasant Street, is downtown New Bedford's highest-profile practitioner of the art of relaxing one's mind and body through meditation.

Resident teacher Gerry Donovan explains why people visiting centers like his and teachers like him for the first time shouldn't be intimidated to get started.

He said beginners usually think they can’t mediate. "Maybe your mind becomes even more active, like a child who doesn’t want to do what they are told. But meditation doesn't require super powers, just patience and persistence. You don't have to be perfect at it to get something from it."

The beginner should start slowly, he said. "You don't change your breathing," he said. "Just breathe normally and follow the breath with the mind. Two to five breaths will do. Don't do it for a long time at first. Make it as short as you want. It’s much better to enjoy a very short period

8

of meditation than feel frustrated when you attempt a longer one. That's the basis of the understanding, of getting a greater sense of control over what's happening in your mind."

Donovan explained he started practicing meditation as a byproduct of his other profession: "I'm a psychiatrist.

I recognized the need for myself and my patients to have a more friendly relationship with the things happening in the mind."

The Serlingpa Meditation Center, named after a revered 11-12th century Buddhist teacher, has been open approximately 20 years

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

by Michael J. DeCicco

He sees his work as a resident teacher at Serlingpa as an extension of his belief in how meditation and mental health are related. "We all have problems. By focusing continually on them you can get stuck in a rut, feel depressed and discouraged," he said. "When you shift that focus to something peaceful like the breath, it's like taking a break without having to go anywhere."

The Serlingpa Meditation Center, named after a revered 11-12th century Buddhist teacher, has been open approximately 20 years. Donovan has been a disciple of its modern Buddhist philosophy since 2006.

He recently completed a six-month intensive teacher training program at Manjushri Kadampa Meditation Centre in England.

He elaborated on what guided meditation is all about. Thoughts are happening in our heads both good and bad, he said. Most of the time, we don’t

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sanitation crisis because worldwide, 4.2 With meditation, billion of us live without safe sanitation weThink learn that wetime can options. of that the next you’re lucky enough to be relaxing with away a magashift our attention zine in a comfy loo. fromNovember negative patterns Hungry? is your month, with tasty days sprinkled throughout, odes to of thoughts and feelings everything from banana pudding to vininto and more egar andhealthier everything in between, including hot sauce, nachos, pickles, espresso, productive patterns. In deviled eggs, French toast and more. this way, meditation Honoring all that grub makes perfect helps us lead happier, sense that November 15 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. more productive lives In closing, and in observance of November being an election month, I’d like to add it is now National Impotency Month, which has nothing to do with the feel like we have any control over those Republicans in Congress, much as it things. sounds like it should.

"With meditation, we learn that we can Happy winter, people! All eight damn shift our attention away from negative months of it. patterns of thoughts and feelings into healthier and more productive patterns.

In this way, meditation helps us lead happier, more productive lives," he said.

His center's meditations are in the Buddhist tradition, but people attending Donavan’s center don't have to be Buddhist to benefit from and learn from meditation.

His center offers weekly drop-in classes (Tuesday evenings and Sunday mornings), retreats, and in-depth study programs and classes. A prime example of the latter: an Introduction to Buddhism workshop that will start on January 3 and run the next five Tuesdays.

He also conducts regular chanted prayers, which are for those who wish to pray in the Buddhist tradition. "The Prayer Sessions are a guided meditation drawn from Buddhism," he said. "But our classes are for anybody with an interest in meditation. Regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, or faith. You don't have to be a Buddhist to learn how to meditate or to benefit from it."

The center website boasts that the majority of its weekly classes are drop-in and are designed to be easily accessible to new meditators while being very engaging for those with more experience, allowing experienced meditators to go deeper and enhance their meditation practice.

More information is available at meditationinnewbedford.org.

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23 2023 | The South Coast Insider The South Coast Insider | November 2020 January

9

BUSINESS BUZZ

Self-care after the holidays

November and December are giving months. Giving to others is the theme an refrain to which we are constantly subjected in most media and conversations.

T

he giving months can be invigorating and beautiful, but can also drain our stores of energy. When the quiet months of winter finally come, we can be left feeling utterly empty and exhausted.

Yet with the New Year celebrations comes social pressure to make self-improvement resolutions that have more to do with meeting the expectations of others than caring for ourselves.

How can we use the quiet winter months to seek out some true self-care that improves our physical and psychic wellbeing? Visiting the gym or a fitness center is an option, but are there places where we can focus on our wellness in a relaxing, low-key atmosphere with a personalized touch? Fortunately, a more personalized approach to wellness can be found in the many retreats and day spas opening to fill this niche.

The Southcoast is home to a growing number of spas and yoga centers, with varied approaches to helping clients develop individualized self-care strategies that lead to healthy connections between body and mind resulting in an enhanced quality of life. Establishing a personal liaison with a wellness provider is a gift to yourself that lasts a lifetime.

10

According to the National Wellness Institute, “Wellness is an active process through which people become aware of, and make choices toward, a more successful existence. This definition

by Lori Bradley

experience can help improve painful conditions but “beyond the benefits for specific conditions or diseases, some people enjoy massage because it often produces feelings of caring, comfort, and

The Southcoast is home to a growing number of spas and yoga centers, with varied approaches to helping clients develop individualized self-care strategies that lead to healthy connections between body and mind resulting in an enhanced quality of life describes a shift from unconscious living (where you do not think about your health until you have a problem or experience symptoms) to conscious living (where you are actively making healthy choices to promote your success and wellbeing)”

PERSONAL TOUCH

A cornerstone of wellness is massage, and a variety of massage treatments are available at local spas. According to the Mayo Clinic website, massage is increasingly used to address medical conditions such as fibromyalgia, sports injuries, anxiety, lowering heart rate and blood pressure, and reducing headaches and insomnia. (Of course, anyone with a medical condition should consult their doctor before receiving a massage.)

The personal touch of the massage

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

connection.”

Drift Day Spa, at 77 State Street in Dartmouth, offers an appealing menu of options, including Swedish and deep tissue massage for relaxation and muscular therapy. Clients can book customizable treatments from 30 to 90 minutes. Hot stone massage can soothe muscle pain and induce deep relaxation.

Other Drift therapies include relaxing full facial and hydrothermal massage that cradles the body in warm water and induces a feeling of weightlessness. In addition, the spa offers aesthetician and nail services for a full self-care day of relaxation and beauty.

Owner Dawn Oyenuga thinks there is both a need and a niche for smaller wellness paces, “I truly feel that the salon/ spa industry needs to be a smaller, more

customer-service focused businesses. the region’s coastal charms.

Their new It should notwas be about turnover and volume. property a former tomato farm, perIfect think wellness deserves time and for supporting the couple’s new hobby: raisingfrom chickens. precision start to finish.”

Fortunately them, they had a knack Dawn sharedfor how her highly-trained staff for it.together Before too Bishops work to long, makethe every client had feel more eggsacknowledged than they knewand what to do personally cared for. with.

Theysetting began selling thethe surplus, and “A smaller allows for details, learning about how to expand the farm such as having tea and water brought in a healthy and sustainable way.and hung over to you, your jacket taken To give sense ofof how this safely, theaoffering thesuccessful restroom and expansion been, the farm’s the friendlyhas chat and smiles fromchicken all of population ballooned from the origiour service has providers walking around the nal 20 toknow over 3000. spa who (or get to know) all of our Whilepersonally. her husband has kept his IT job, guests You’re welcomed into Ester has been able to commit herself to our space immediately! At the conclusion the farm full-time.

She prides herself on of your service, your jacket is brought providing her animals with joyful, back to you, water is offered again,stresswe free lives. “People should know where recommend products tailored for your their food comes from youare can really home-care routine, and–you always taste the difference,” said Bishop. thanked for your time and invited back

to visit. Wellness for us isn’t just about Green acres the massage or facial or nail service, it’s Bishop’s commitment “beyond orabout an experience withtokind people ganic” farming extends beyond cuddles bringing stress relief, peace of mind, and and words of affirmation to her livestock. a much-needed pause from the chaotic She ensures all the animals are provided lives we all live.” with healthy, organic meals, and that their Learn more about Drift Day Spa at waste is repurposed as manure. driftdartmouth.com.

“You can see how green the grass is where the turkeys have been,” Bishop says. “That’s because they fertilize the Yoga is a form of mindfulness through soil with their manure. Manure is the movement that, with regular practice, basis of organic fertilizers. There are no can profoundly contribute to mental and chemicals added, or needed, when the physical well-being. According to the animals do their job.”

Mayo Clinic, “Yoga is a mind-body practice Speaking of animals doing their jobs, that combines physical poses, controlled Bishop has conscripted her goats and breathing, and meditation or relaxation. pigs into clearing away swaths of underYoga help reduce stress, lower blood brushmay on the property – the “gnarly vines” pressure, and lower your heart that give the farm its name. rate. And almost can do it.” with neighGnarlyanyone Vines coordinates Direct farms healthto benefits yoga are boring provideofits customers improving range of joint motion pain with a variety of sustainable andand organic reduction, improving the function of products. Angus beef, for instance, will the system, moderating stress sell nervous out almost as soon as it comes into response and anxiety, cultivating dynamic stock. balance mindisand and But theinfarm notbody, bound byreducing terrestrial falls in olderthe people.

For people wanting limitations: Bishops have partnered to explore mindful movement, there are with Captain’s Finest and Sakonnet many options studios the Southcoast.

Lobster to bring freshinseafood to market.

Solshine Yoga, located in the Kilburn Bishop is particularly proud of a new iniMill complex 127food W. Rodney French tiative at the at farm: security commuBoulevard in New Bedford’s(CSA) South nity supported agriculture plans.

End offers “yoga with afarms view.”nationWide CSAs, popular among floor-to-ceiling windows out on the wide, allow customers to look pre-purchase sea and sunset and expansive “shares” of the farm’s produce,polished which are old wooden floors and high ceilings add a sense of visual transcendence to the CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE yoga experience.

MINDFUL MOVEMENT

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The South 13 TheJanuary South Coast | November 2020 2023Insider | The South Coast Insider 11 Coast I

COVER STORY

Y

THE ABC'S OF THE

by Sean McCarthy

A 35-year-old learns to swim. A 72-year-old learns a new dance. A mother of three learns to cook healthy meals.

The YMCA is more than “a gym and a swim.”

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egardless of age, ability or income, YMCA Southcoast is reaching out to you.

With locations from Swansea to Wareham, YMCA Southcoast is partnering with regional organizations with the understanding that strengthening our communities means investing in individuals and families in a wide array of ways.

From child care to education to exercise, the YMCA’s health initiatives aim to treat the complete person, including how they eat and how they move, how they learn and how they grow. The Y knows that there are many approaches to health and wellness.

“There’s something for everybody at the Y, we have resources for the entire family,” says Robyn Branco, Director of Mission Administration. “We are a

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place to grow, whether you’re a child, a parent, or a senior.”

You may be surprised to find out that the modern mission of the YMCA goes far beyond a basketball game or a dip in the pool. These regional branches are improving lives in areas such as food insecurity, education in diabetes treatment and prevention, programs for cancer survivors and their families, social activities for seniors, childcare, employment opportunities for teens, and more.

In many cases, the programming is financially supported – a greater benefit for those in need.

In just one year, the Y distributes between $750,000 - $900,000 in financial aid across all program areas including camp, membership and childcare.In 2006, YMCA Southcoast

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

took a significant step towards helping the community with the establishment of Sharing the Harvest Community Farm. A partnership with the United Way of Greater New Bedford’s Hunger Commission, the volunteer-driven project grows produce on a four-anda-half acre site in Dartmouth that is distributed to the underserved through local food pantries and senior development organizations in the South Coast region. This year Sharing the Harvest distributed over 20,000 meals.

The organization was particularly effective during the COVID-19 pandemic, as they teamed with the Greater Boston Food Bank to form an Emergency Mobile Market known as the Full Plate Project. The group was available two to three days a week,

staffed entirely by volunteers providing 15,000 pounds of food a week to meet the needs of the community. This year they have distributed over 1.5 million pounds of food.

The Y also provided emergency daycare for frontline workers during the pandemic along with remote learning for students across the region .

All together

Since the region is located so close to the ocean and other waterways, YMCA Southcoast offers free courses in Basic

These local branches are improving lives in areas such as food insecurity, education in diabetes treatment and prevention, programs for cancer survivors and their families, social activities for seniors, childcare, employment opportunities for teens, and more.

Water Safety and Drowning Prevention for people of all ages.

“Every person in this community should have the opportunity to learn how to swim,” Branco says. “It should be an essential skill, not a privilege.

Branco points out that many people who become affiliated with the YMCA become lifelong participants in the mission of the organization. Many young people who attended programs and classes with the Y eventually enroll in the organization’s Counselors in Training and leadership programs.

“We try to teach young people the value of being part of something more,” Branco says. “We want them to embrace diversity and celebrate the culture of our region. This is a chance for them to grow with the Y – to give back to the organization after they have benefitted from the programming.

“A lot of families work at the Y, and we have multiple generations of families.

The Y is a home away from home for so many.”

Children are often introduced to the Y through its youth development programs, including preschool and after-school opportunities, as well as athletic endeavors. For students in public schools we are reintroducing summer learning loss activities at certain Y locations, an extracurricular program that enhances their academic process in a fun and engaging manner, keeping them mentally fresh.

Staying fresh is also possible for

YMCA Southcoast has teamed up with the Greater Boston Food Bank to form an emergency mobile market known as the Full Plate Project. In 2022 the Full Plate Project, stuffed entirely of volunteers, distributed over 1.5 million pounds of food throughout the region. seniors, as the Y offers multiple classes for social interaction, including dancing, drumming, and yoga. Dance classes are also offered to children and teens at certain locations.

Certain YMCAs offer the LiveStrong program, which assists cancer survivors and their families. There are also classes in diabetes prevention and treatment.

But the Y doesn’t act alone. They team with a large number of local organizations, including Southcoast Health, the South Coast Food Policy Council, the United Way of Greater New Bedford and Fall River, and many of the local public schools and universities.

The YMCA has branches in Swansea, Fall River, Dartmouth, New Bedford, Mattapoisett and Wareham. For more information visit ymcasouthcoast.org.

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

13

THINGS TO DO

MAKING

by Sean McCarthy

Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

I

f that’s your belief, then you’re in the company of a lot of health professionals.

Creating a healthy future can have simple and easy beginnings. Everyday activities such as eating, sleeping, breathing, and moving can be used to improve how you feel and reduce risks to your wellbeing down the road.

If you think being healthy is a rigorous endeavor, you will be pleased to know that you can get started by making small adjustments to things you have been doing all of your life.

But you’re advised to start as soon as possible.

“It’s not about the sit-up, or the push-up, or the pull-up – it’s about the show-up,” says Jon Leaver of Jon Leaver Wellness in Westport and Wareham.

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“Some days you’ll have more energy, and some days you’ll have less energy, but it’s all about doing it. Just begin doing it.”

And one key to making progress with your health is making physical activity a routine.

“Increase your range of motion by being active every day,” Leaver says.

“With age we tend to slow down and use our bodies less, but as we exercise there is an unwinding of the tissues that takes place. There are different ways to be active: strength training, aerobics, cardio-vascular, yoga, or Tai-Chi, and more. You can join a YMCA or a gym. My advice is to find a buddy who wants to do it with you and commit to that person.

Meet at a specific time, and even if they don’t show up you’ll already be there.”

There can be enjoyable social aspects to getting your daily exercise.

“We have a welcoming atmosphere for seniors,” says Micki Poulton, Senior Director of Health and Wellness for YMCA Southcoast. “We cater to seniors with our classes so that they’ll feel comfortable with their peers. There’s a camaraderie.”

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

Y H T L HEA ES C I O H C The YMCA offers many classes for people over 55, including areas such as strengthbuilding, flexibility, mobility, stability, and balancing.

There are classes in culinary arts with demonstrations and recipes as well as classes in Diabetes prevention.

There are aqua-fit classes that assist in recovery from injuries that are easy on the joints. In addition, there are classes in line dancing and zumba/latin dancing.

STRETCHING OUT

Another exercise option is yoga, a practice that is growing significantly in popularity, and has shown numerous health benefits.

“With yoga you’re using your breath to establish a mind-body connection,” says yoga instructor Christine Maiato FitzGerald of Dartmouth. “It’s easy to get introduced, with forms such as gentle yoga and chair yoga, and you can go at your own pace.”

FitzGerald says that while you can do yoga on your own, the best option for beginners is to get started by attending classes at a local yoga studio. She also

recommends consulting a doctor before beginning any form of exercise.

“Get out there, find a beginner’s class, and don’t be intimidated,” she says.

“You might not be able to do every pose, but any movement is good movement.

Everybody is different. There’s a lot of good yoga studios in the area.”

Yoga has been shown to assist with back and hip issues, building muscle, improving flexibility, balance, and posture, heart health, sleep, and increased blood flow and energy. It has also shown to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as relieving menopause symptoms.

“I have a herniated disc in my lower back, so I often wake up with a lot of pain,” she says. “By doing one session in

Yoga has been shown to assist with back and hip issues, building muscle, improving flexibility, balance, and posture, heart health, sleep, and increased blood flow and energy. the morning I feel 100 percent relief. It’s amazing.”

FitzGerald says that ideally most yoga classes include some form of meditation, before or after. But she also points out that meditation can be done separately from yoga and will also show benefits.

“Meditation is something that is free and can be done anywhere,” she says.

“Sit or lie down comfortably and focus on something for five or 10 minutes, such as a word, a phrase, or your breathing. The mind is active, so it’s normal that you will get distracted, but always return your focus. If you do it regularly it will eventually become as normal as brushing your teeth.”

FitzGerald says benefits from meditation include reduction in stress and anxiety, and improved sleep.

And you may be surprised to find out that the act of breathing through your

nose instead of your mouth can have important benefits.

“Your nose is not just for decoration on your face, it serves a real purpose,” says Kelly Coucci, a Speech Language Pathologist dealing in Voice Disorders at South Coast Ear, Nose & Throat in North Dartmouth. “Nasal breathing filters, warms, and humidifies the air we breathe. It helps regulate air flow, making sure we’re not over-breathing, which can be detrimental as it can overwhelm and dry out the throat and airway tubes.”

Coucci says that nose breathing keeps us calmer, reducing anxiety and stress.

“Breathing is a pathway to our nervous system,” she says. “It can make us mentally healthier. Breathing also plays a role in the immune system, trapping bacteria and viruses, especially important now in the age of COVID. There are a lot of amazing connections between nose breathing and our health that most people are completely unaware of.”

Coucci says that we can train ourselves to be nose breathers.

“If you’ve been a mouth breather for a long time it’s possible to begin breathing through your nose, starting with awareness,” she says. “You don’t have to work hard at breathing because we live in an oxygen-rich environment.

You don’t need to be taking big, gigantic breaths to get oxygen. You can breathe more quietly through the nose with much less volume of air.”

CLEAN EATING

In addition to taking in air, we also take in food. According to Leaver, a good first step to improving your nutritional practicies is by significantly reducing or eliminating meat from your diet.

“Meat and animal fats are the causes of almost all cardio-vascular disease,” he says. “There are thousands of reports explaining this, but the American food industry wants you to eat a lot of junk – meat and processed foods.”

Leaver recommends a plant-based diet, but this doesn’t mean you have to be boring about your eating choices.

“I suggest starting with ‘Meatless Mondays’ and go from there,” he says.

“Find out how to flavor things, make

A good first step to improving your nutritional practicies is by significantly reducing or eliminating meat from your diet. enjoyable sauces to go with your meals such as cilantro, garlic, lime, honey, and maple syrup. You don’t need to be eating raw carrots all day.”

Leaver uses the natural world as evidence for his stances.

“We get a lot of protein from meat and chickens, but they get their protein by eating plants,” he says. “There’s a lot of strong animals who don’t eat meat.

There’s a saying: ‘If it’s made in a plant, don’t eat it; but if it’s made from a plant, eat it.’”

And you can also experience benefits when you’re not awake by practicing good sleep hygiene.

Meridith Pease, a Registered Nurse at Hawthorn Medical in North Dartmouth, says that you should think about quieting your mind 30 to 60 minutes before going to bed to get prepared for restful, quality sleep.

“Avoid over-stimulating your mind to get into a relaxation mode, it’s a lot easier than people think,” she says.

“A big part of sleep hygiene is putting down our phones and digital media a half-hour to an hour before bed, and not falling asleep with the television on. You want to have a quiet, dark place when you’re trying to shut your mind down.”

Pease says that you should establish a regular time to go to bed and wake up.

“Sleeping in on the weekends is enjoyable but it isn’t always the best plan, because you don’t want to disrupt your sleep schedule. You also want to avoid naps during the day that are longer than 15 or 20 minutes. You can’t force sleep, so if you’re lying in bed with thoughts and anxieties, it’s best to get up and do something calming, like reading or meditating. Ruminating on why you can’t sleep can only make it worse.”

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

15

BUSINESS BUZZ

by Stacie Charbonneau-Hess

Coffee &

Community

One of the most lovely parts of winter is finding a cozy café to meet friends or colleagues – a spot with character, a sense of place, and great food.

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es, there are times when the drive-through is necessary, but when I really want to connect with the people in my life, I go to those spots that feel like someone’s living room, or like those you find in European villages: people outside and inside, talking to one another, reading a newspaper, slowing down in the otherwise frenetic pace that comes with this time of year.

I’ve compiled this admittedly subjective list of wonderful South Coast cafés, arranged from east to west. These cafés ooze character; they are imbued with that feeling that Danish people refer to as hygge – the warmth and comfort you create when the world outside is dark and cold.

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I realize, too, that I am grateful these spots exist so close to home. In this afterCovid winter, I am trying my best to patronize the small businesses I so appreciate.

I hope this list inspires you to cozy up with a warm cup and a good friend.

Blue Foot Café

379 Main Street, Wareham Open 7 days a week: 6:30 to 3 p.m. weekdays; 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. weekends Blue Foot Café is home to creative smoothies and

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

smoothie bowls, like “The Galapagos” which is made with a blend of blackberries and mango and glows electric blue. Of course there is açai, but Blue Foot goes well beyond the usual. You can taste the love in the hearty “Savory Oat Bowl” that is topped with a perfect egg, garlicy kraut, and green onion lovingly strewn throughout.

Blue Foot is special because the surroundings invite you to settle in and stay a while: sumptuous velvet couches are perfect for cozying up with your love, or sit outside on a sunny day on the patio.

This is the perfect spot for a healthy, warm “Dirty Chai Latté” or an entire meal. The vibe is young, welcoming, with an unexpectedly cosmopolitan feeling – an oasis of calm in the bustling area of a Wareham Center.

Peoples’ Pressed

141 Union Street, New Bedford Monday-Friday 8 a.m. to 3 p.m.; Saturday 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.; closed Sundays You probably know that Peoples’ Pressed offers cold-pressed juices and features multi-day cleanses that you can pre-order for those times when your body needs a reboot. What you may not know is that they also have some of the most amazing coffee choices on the South Coast. You can

get a regular cup of dark roast, or try something more adventurous like “On Shrooms” which features a mushroom superfood blend.

If tea is more your style try the “Community Chai” with activated charcoal and honey. Peoples’ Pressed has light fare like avocado and hemp seed toast and almond butter, banana, and strawberry toast, all on gluten-free bread. The vibe is urban, with succulents descending from every nook and cranny.

tea here are as singular as Davoll’s itself: try the “Mayan Mocha” with its spicy chocolate blend, or the “High Spirit” which features adaptogenic mushrooms.

Oh yeah, and there’s wine, beer, and craft cocktails and mocktails. With the convivial atmosphere and the abundance of good quality delights, you may end up staying into the evening here.

If it’s a Thursday, you may even have the good fortune to sit in on a jam session with local fiddlers, banjo players, and musicians of every ilk.

Your new homegoods store in beautiful downtown Bristol!

Come visit us for handcrafted wood furniture, ethically sourced homegoods and unique gifts.

Wednesday - Saturday 10-4 Sunday from 12-5

Davoll’s General Store

1228 Russells Mills Road, South Dartmouth 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. TuesdaySaturday; 7 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Sunday; closed Monday Now that Davoll’s is here, I cannot imagine a South Coast without it. Davoll’s has gifts, books, local groceries, book readings, poetry openmic nights, jam sessions, Friday night dinners, and even, this past fall, a turnip festival. Davoll’s is quirky and homey and a community hub.

The food is ever-changing but expect home-baked breads, soups, and luscious, rustic baked goods. Lunch might be a sweet potato panini or a quinoa salad with local farmer Eva’s greens. For staying a while and chatting, there is no place like Davoll’s, with its antique hardwood floors and its central location in Dartmouth. Coffee and

474 Thames Street Bristol, RI 401-396-5281

Groundswell Cafe

3883 Main Road, Tiverton Tuesday to Sunday 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. (kitchen open until 3 p.m.)

Groundswell’s has a particular kind of lingering in mind with its “laptop free” environment. This is a spot for catching up with old friends and connecting with loved ones over Europeaninspired food like the croque monsieur and quiche lorraine.

The menu features creative breakfast items like the poblano tahini breakfast bowl with farro, toasted chickpeas, and a egg on top, and the ricotta & pear toast.

Groundswell serves amazing teas and traditional – rather than trendy – coffee options.

The café’s Four Corners location makes it extra appealing for a really long lunch hour or a Saturday afternoon with an old friend.

• Locally made organic coffee • acai bowls • smoothies • sandwiches Open Weekdays 6:30 - 3:00pm Weekends 7 - 3:00pm

(508) 322-9161

379 Main Street, unit B Wareham, MA

thebluefootcafe.com January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

17

THINGS TO DO

, r a e y w e N new flavors

by Shauna Ferry

January can bring on such a whirlwind of emotions. There’s relief that the hustle and bustle of shopping for presents, visiting family, decorations, Christmas music, and cooking elaborate meals is finally over, but then there’s sadness that the energy and cheer are gone.

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ou’re supposed to go into the new year with that fresh “new year, new me” attitude, but sometimes its difficult to pack away all the decorations and get back into the same old routine. For many, this is where New Year’s resolutions come into play – they’re about looking forward to

18

accomplishing goals in the new year and achieving that fresh start.

I’ve never been very good with resolutions. I either set the bar so high I get overwhelmed within the first week (diet, gym, cleaning routine, beauty routine, etc.) or I just don’t take anything on at all because I’m too jetlagged from holiday madness. This year I didn’t really set a resolution, but rather a weekly challenge: to cook a new meaI each week that I’ve never made before using as many locally made items as possible.

Back in November, I made a charcuterie board with many different locally made food items (check out the South Coast Prime Times Jan/Feb 2023 issue). It was so fun and I learned about so many small businesses in and around the South Coast that I had never heard of before!

Since then, I changed the way I shop and I’m so much more excited to try making new food.

My first meal I decided to conquer wasn’t anything specific, but I knew the focus was going to be seafood.

I decided on a fish dish with boiled potatoes, a vegetable, and a very specific Portuguese sauce my family

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

avidly makes, and which I had never made myself, called molho de vilao (fried fish sauce). My first stop was Kyler’s Seafood in New Bedford. I absolutely love Kyler’s and I highly recommend them. Their prices are great, and their fish is always fresh. I purchased 1.7lbs of fresh cod and a dozen oysters. My husband and I love raw oysters, so it was a little treat for us to start off with.

The next day, I went over to the farmer’s market in Westport. Skinny Dip Farm out of Little Compton had a huge variety of fresh vegetables, so I made my way over and purchased parsley and large-leaf spinach. I had no idea there was even such a thing as large-leaf spinach, and as a spinach lover I was excited and impressed. I couldn’t wait to cook it!

On my way home I stopped at Lee’s market in Westport, which is a cute little market with an abundance of local items. I was on the hunt for potatoes and cocktail sauce. I grabbed two pounds of white potatoes, grown and distributed

by Sampson’s Farm in Westport. It’s always great to support other farmers from town.

McGovern’s Family Restaurant

310 Shove Street, Fall River 508-679-5010 mcgovernsonthewater.com

Molho de Vilão

1955 on the historic wharf that dates to the 1700s, isn’t all about summer.

Last year they served up a feast of turkey, roast prime rib, sausage and more. The restaurant currently offers dine-in and takeout, including some oven-ready dishes like seafood casserole and stuffed lobster.

This well-known restaurant and banIngredients: quet facility overlooking Laurel Lake 6 cloves garlic usually packs them in for a large buffet 1 whole salted pimenta da terra on Thanksgiving Day. The menu typicalVinegar to taste ly includes traditional turkey dinner with 1 tablespoon minced pimenta da terra White’s of Westport Paul’s butternut squash, prime tablespoons cooking oil restaurant 66 State Road, Westport rib,4ham, and much more. The Chopped Parsley to taste 508-675-7185 has been offering dine-in and takeout, shop.lafrancehospitality.com including its locally famous corned beef Directions: and cabbage, for 50 years. Here’s a proWhite’s has been offering family-style in await frying pan and add thefor slicedtakeout cloves and of garlic and coarsely tip:1) if Put you oil can’t until Thanksgiving curbside meals pickup for chopped pimenta terra.

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Combine ¼ cup is dinner, rib, be a waste. Imignon, put the braised garlic inshort a saucepan at home and what was even better pumpkin puree with three ounces pickupofand delivery and more. addedCurrently, 8 tablespoons olive oil that it was delicious. Everything turned bourbon, two ounces ¼ is availableoilfrom thehealthier, regular menu, (avocado is a lot but I includdidn’t out perfect!

I did straymaple away syrup, a bit from ounce cinnamon syrup, one ounce oring their apple cider sangria to go.

We’ll have any). the recipe for the sauce, but it was ange liqueur, just have to wait and seefresh whatparsley, they dream very I then chopped up my similar toand my two grandmother’s. The dashes orange bit-was delicious and a up for Thanksgiving. which came out to about a half a cup, large-leaf spinach ters. Shake well. and added that into the saucepan. The fun new find. The fish and oysters were Fill two old fashrecipe calls for a whole pepper, but I only fresh, and the cocktail sauce was great The Wharf Tavern ioned glasses with added a ¼ Street, cup of the pimenta moida, and local, which made it even better. I 215 Water Warren ice, pour in the which is crushed red pepper sauce. I use had a great time making this dish and 401-289-2524 strained cocktail thewharftavernri.com the Antonio’s brand – it’s hot, but not adding some more local finds to my and garnish with a overly pantry.

Whilesalty. stuffed quahogs nibbled by the twist of orange peel The recipe advises adding whitetradiI'm excited for next week’s meal and water may not be a Thanksgiving and a cherry. vinegar taste.

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TheJanuary South Coast | November 2020 2023Insider | The South Coast Insider

19

BUSINESS BUZZ

Persuing pages

A book is an experience, and the Book Nerd is about the experience of books.

W

hen Cate Cote-Martel, aka Miss Cate, opened her used book store in Barrington in 2019, she aimed to create a richly unique experience for book lovers to indulge in.

And while the digital age has affected the way people experience books, it has made the Book Nerd a more charming and special venue that the Internet and chain stores can’t provide.

Miss Cate is a lover of books and people; the perfect concoction for an independent small business. So whether you’re in the hunt for an author or a topic, or you’re just browsing for a surprise, the Book Nerd offers a sense of comfort and community that is unlike any other book outlet, chain, or online retailer.

“There is a unique joy that comes from buying a book. It’s a process of discovery,” Miss Cate says. “With a used book store you come in and search the shelves – you can take your time and

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by Sean McCarthy

"There is a unique joy that comes from buying a book. It’s a process of discovery. With a used book store you come in and search the shelves – you can take your time and enjoy looking at the covers and reading the synopsis on the back. enjoy looking at the covers and reading the synopsis on the back. You never know what you’re going to find.”

Since its beginnings, the Book Nerd has been about more than just buying a book.

With her affinity for baking, Miss Cate often provides customers with complimentary cookies and other baked goods, in addition to free coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. The store is outfitted with tables and chairs for relaxed reading, including a rocking chair with a window view of the store’s exterior. Her 13-year-old dog, Abby, greets guests as they enter the store.

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

A professed Anglophile, Miss Cate sells British foods and teas, while the store also offers Harry Potter-related merchandise. Handmade bookmarks are also available for purchase.

“The whole idea of this store is about finding joy in the little bits of life,” Miss Cate says. “I wanted the Book Nerd to be a place I would want to go – someplace cozy. I want people to come here and feel like they can stay for hours and enjoy being around books. Maybe sit and enjoy a cup of tea as you read something. Used books have an energy about them different from new books

And Miss Cate remembers what it was like to be young and in love with books.

“When I was growing up in Central Falls, I spent a lot of time in our town library,” she recalls. “It was a calm, beautiful environment where I could always find something that took me out of Central Falls. I would go there and sit for hours, just being quiet and looking at these books.

“There’s so many reasons to love books. Some people love the story, or the setting, or the characters. I have a customer whose interest is reading every book he can find that is set in Paris.”

The Book Nerd is also popular for its’ policy of allowing customers to return books for credit towards their next purchase. that have never been touched or loved.

They fit the vibe I wanted.”

“I like the feel of the Book Nerd,” says Sarah Santaniello of Barrington. “It’s a tangible experience – you can feel the book, you can smell the book, you’re there in the moment. You can browse through the books, you can take the time to flip through it and see if it’s a style that you’d like to read. You can sit down and relax with it for a little bit.”

“Amazon can be convenient, but it doesn’t give you that homegrown, local small business feel,” says Tabitha Watjen of East Providence. “I appreciate that we don’t have to rely on Amazon to still enjoy reading a good book because we have the Book Nerd right around the corner. The experience of actually finding and buying a book is special, way more exciting than ordering it online.”

“Cate provides a very welcoming environment that builds community,” says Gloria Hwang-Forzano of Barrington, “It’s a great place for our young children, because Miss Cate engages with them, she plays games with them and has a great selection of books for kids to peruse through. My kids always have a hard time leaving.”

Under the covers

Miss Cate says that her store sees a wide swath of customers of all ages, genders, professions, and levels of education.

“There’s a connection that builds a community of readers. People and books go together,” Miss Cate says. “I know my customers, so if they tell me they are looking for a book I’ll be able to find something for them, different from going on a computer. Books are things you do with people. They’re a personal one-on-one kind of thing, something you don’t get on Amazon.

People love to talk about books they love and they want to share them with others. People will have conversations in the store, and recommendations mean a lot.”

A retired public school teacher, Miss Cate takes pride in contributing to the community. In addition to working with the local Lions Club, she allows young people with disabilities to accrue work experience by volunteering at the Book Nerd. And each month the store invites children from the Barrington area to help make and decorate cookie baskets that are given to local public employees such as teachers and police.

Miss Cate is optimistic about the future of books.

“The digital age of Kindle and audiobooks is not deterring people from enjoying physical books, including young people,” Miss Cate says. “The novelty of the e-reader has worn off. I had a Kindle because I wanted to try it, but there’s something about holding a book and the

sense of accomplishment when you’ve finished reading a 500-page book.

Books are not disappearing, they will be around forever.”

And there are economic benefits to buying from an independent used book store.

“It can be expensive to buy books straight from the publisher,” HwangForzano says. “You can spend five dollars on a children’s book from Miss Cate, that may cost you three or four times more at a chain store.”

“I like the idea of supporting local businesses as much as I can,” Watjen adds. “I enjoy a good sale and a good discount, so used books meet that need.”

The Book Nerd is also popular for its’ policy of allowing customers to return books for credit towards their next purchase.

“People need to realize how important these little bookstores are,” says Hwang-Forzano. “They’re gems. You just want to sit at the table to have tea and talk about books.”

“I never walk out of Miss Cate’s without a book or two and some good conversation,” says Liz Messier of Riverside. “Her selection is very versatile, I’ve bought many books for my grandchildren there.”

“Every time I’ve gone to Book Nerd I’ve found something new and different that interests me. It’s a gold mine,” says Colleen Dupre of Barrington. “It’s a unique and pleasant experience, and the books are all in good shape. In today’s world, Cate offers a personal touch. It’s nice to go into a place that’s personable and welcoming.”

“Very rarely do I know what I want to read, so I’ll stop in just to browse and talk with Miss Cate,” Santaniello says. “I’ll end up with some interesting conversation and come home with at least three or four books, maybe six or eight. She’s friendly, knowledgeable, and enthusiastic, and she loves imparting her knowledge to the people who come into the store – something that you won’t get in big stores.”

Located at 30 Maple Avenue, the Book Nerd is open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Thursday through Sunday and is accessible on Facebook and Instagram at thebooknerdonline.

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

21

ON MY MIND

Hero with a thousand Facebooks

by Paul Kandarian

Sally Field once famously and breathlessly said, “You like me!

You really, really like me!” to a few thousand people at the Oscars.

T

hat was 1985. When counting TV viewers, she said it to 38.7 million people. Not bad.

Flash forward to the Facebook era. “Baby Shark Dance” in 2016 had 11.8 billion views – yes with a B – making the most annoying song ever created not just viral but pandemic, which if it’s not a category for clickbait, it really should be.

Facebook is insidious, to say the least, including the chasing-your-tail way of how if you block one ad from ever appearing on your feed for the rest of eternity, you’ll instantly get 10 more just like it for the same length of time – a platform that’s a festering sewer of cheesy

22

unstoppable advertisements and ambulance-chasing shadowy lawyer posts, home to pathetic pathological and dangerous liars and bullies and brain-dead spreaders of complete b.s. – some becoming president – and an infinite supply of cute-kitten photos.

And we cannot stay away.

Myself included.

Why are we so addicted to Facebook and find it impossible to stay away from divulging every bit of minutia of every move we make (again, myself included)?

For the age-old reason that used to happen in very small doses every so often: instant gratification!

In the olden days (pre-

January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

Internet in general, pre-social media in particular), if you wanted someone to like what you said you had to 1) actually know the person, 2) actually talk to the person, and 3) actually like the person (more or less). You did this face-toface, on the phone or, wicked old school, in a letter in those quaint days of snail mail before the word “mail” was elongated by being prefaced by a small “e.”

And indeed, if you wrote an actual letter, or left a message on an answering machine that used tape and beeped (remember those?

I barely do), you had to wait for a response, sometimes for hours, days, or weeks – all

interminable amounts of time.

Now, you write something on Facebook and hit “post,” by the time your finger leaves the mouse, someone has hit an emoji reflecting their response to your post, a boring thumbs-up or a loving heart, or maybe a caring face or one that says they’re amused or sad or astonished or angry. Or if they’re being sarcastic or denigrating (tough to tell the difference in the cold conversation social media embodies), they’ll leave a big brown curly smiling turd.

“Oh, today I bought a new pair of socks and had a lovely latte downtown with an old friend,” one may post and

wait for the likes to mount up – and when they don’t, one gets depressed.

“Oh, isn’t so-and-so politician/business leader/ sports figure/you-name-it a complete piece of crap for corruption/greed/acting the diva/you-name-it?” one may post and when the likes mount up, one gets an enormous, albeit false, sense of their true worth as a human being.

In an article in the wonderfully named Brain World Magazine, Dr. Deborah Serani, a lecturer, professor, therapist, and presumably big-brained person, says “Facebook is the millennium’s new water cooler,” a pretty apt description. She said even though it’s a virtual, not face-to-face, design, “it serves as a way for us to catch up on the latest trends, share milestones, learn about juicy gossip or live vicariously through the experience of others.”

And hasn’t it always been thus? Haven’t we always done that because we’re human and tribal and need to feel good about ourselves and help each other survive, just in a much smaller, more intimate, and slower way?

Not only does Facebook give us a way to keep up with the Joneses, the article says, it’s a way to keep track of the Joneses, providing us with a new social capital that evolution at warp speed has birthed. And not for the best.

Social media has given us the attention we seek, making the world seem much smaller yet bigger at the same time by isolating us from the most important facet of human connection: actually being together.

It’s no surprise that the poor souls who have social disorders or mental illness

find themselves competing for the virtual thumbprint of approval and not finding it genuinely and constantly, often feel driven to a depth of self-worthlessness that compels them to end what they feel is a miserable existence.

A friend of mine, Val Walker, wrote a terrific book about this, called 400 Friends and No One to Call: Breaking Through Isolation and Building Community, in which she calls social isolation “a growing epidemic,” one studied by a 2014 National Science Foundation report which found the number of Americans with no close friends tripling since 1985.

Her book is a rare wealth of good information on how to break that isolation and find support in community – as we’d done for millennia before social media. Books like hers are an essential step in corralling the emotional madness that places like Facebook have unleashed.

But meanwhile, Facebook and all social platforms open to the public, unjuried and unfettered, are unapologetically here to stay, for better or, more realistically, for worse. How do we get back to feeling truly accepted and loved – a sense that Facebook provides so falsely and so well and so lucratively?

Maybe we can. Maybe we cannot.

With a tip of the hat to The Who and the new constitution, take a bow and hit “like” for the new revolution, smile and grin and click the heart emoji at the change all around, folks, cause the new boss ain’t just like the old boss. He’s much, much, much worse.

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January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

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January 2023 | The South Coast Insider

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