AUSTRALIA’S #1 COACHING MAGAZINE
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ISSUE TWENTY ONE/SEP 2019
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COACHING BEHIND THE MASK, COACHING TO LEAD, EMPOWER AND LEVERAGE GRAND FAILURES TO GRAND VICTORIES, TO COACH OR NOT TO COACH???
UNSURE?
Eau de Coach Apply liberally
Stewart Fleming
FROM THE EDITOR There is a lot to be said for pressure. It turns coal into diamonds and players into champions. We have known the benefits of pressure for centuries. The greater the pressure, the greater the results but you have to be able to survive the pressure being applied. Sure, it will change you but that is the point. You will be different but usually have a say in how that difference manifests. As coaches, we work with people who want more. More performance, more success, more wealth, more happiness‌ To achieve this, we must apply pressure. We must ask the tough, soul-searching questions that form the pressure of real change.
I am currently undertaking my own form of Grand Final, running for Mayor of my city. With no previous political experience, I knew at the outset that the pressure would be immense. Six months into the campaign, I am still finding new forms of pressure and using all my coaching tools to recognise, reduce and cope with these new pressures. Only time will tell if I will be successful, but you can be sure that working with the best coaches in the world has given me tools to survive the pressure and come out changed for the better. Whatever your challenge, face it with a coach and the tools we represent and you will survive. You will be changed, but changed for the better.
Whether your client is heading for a Grand Final or Corporate float, the pressure they need to perform at their best comes from our ability to ask the right questions at the right time.
It’s your time to Win the Grand Final for yourself and your clients Until we compete again, Happy Coaching.
Coaching is an art. It can be expressed in an infinite amount of forms but the results should always propel your client to a new level of performance.
Stewart Fleming Editor
COACHINGLIFE SEPTEMBER 2019 ISSUE 21 Coaching Life is published 4 times a year and is your authoritative source for information on coaching in sport, business, life and anywhere else you find a coach. Published By Operait Pty Ltd ABN 63 189 244 221 24 Leo Lindo Drive, Shailer Park, QLD 4128 Editor Stewart Fleming stewart@coachinglife.com.au Advertising & Directory Jack Fleming advertising@coachinglife.com.au Printing Inhouse Print & Design printing@inhouseprint.com.au
DISCLAIMER This publication is not medical or professional advice. It is intended only to inform and illustrate. No reader should act on the information contained in this publication without first seeking professional advice that takes into account personal circumstances. The publishers and editors give no representation and make no warranties, express or implied, with respect to the accuracy, completeness, currency or reliability of any of the materials contained and no correspondence will be entered into in relation to this publication by the publishers, editors or authors. The publishers do not endorse any person, company, organisation or techniques mentioned in this publication unless expressly stated otherwise. The publishers do not endorse any advertisements or special advertising features in this publication, nor does the publisher endorse any advertiser(s) or their products/services unless expressly stated otherwise. Articles are published in reliance upon the representation and warranties of the authors of the articles and without our knowledge of any infringement of any third parties copyright. The publishers and editors do not authorise, approve, sanction or countenance any copyright infringement. The publication is protected under the Commonwealth Copyrights Act 1968 and may not, in whole or in part, be lent, copied, photocopied, reproduced, translated or reduced to any electronic medium or machine-readable format without the express written permission of the publisher. ISSN 2205-6963 Copyright Operait Pty Ltd All rights reserved.
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CONTENT S
6
12
9
16 20
14 0
6 TO COACH OR NOT TO COACH
14 IT’S ALL ABOUT CHOICE
Are you willing to give up being the one that knows best? Coaching is not for every moment or situation. The amazing Marcia Reynolds gives her top tops on how to spot a coaching opportunity and what to do when the timing is not right.
When is choice discrimination? As a coach, we make decisions that can have a profound effect on people. Peter give us the lowdown on how to be inclusive and Play by the Rules. Peter Downs National Manager – Play by the Rules
Marcia Reynolds PsyD, MCC ICF Founding Member
9 ACCELERATORS TO BUILDING REFERRALS Marketing Coaching is about 3 things; building your audience, showing them that you are the expert and asking if you can help. Michael shares 9 tips to grow your business without having to spend money on traditional marketing.
16 COACH TO LEAD, EMPOWER AND LEVERAGE TIME Renée has spent the last 12 years working with 24 different industries, publishing two books on leadership. Based on her insights into leadership she gives her 5 tips to empower others and take your coaching to the next level. Renée Giarrusso Director-RG Dynamics
Michael Griffith The Referral Marketing Guru
12 FROM GRAND FAILURES TO GREAT VICTORIES We all know that success leads to more success. Winning increases dopamine levels which helps make you smarter and bolder. Nikita explores the role of Mindfulness in this cycle.
Nikita Yefimova Founder 1Moment
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20 WORD-OF-MOUTH ACCELERATION How can you develop any semblance of a word-of-mouth strategy when the audience for your effort is so gargantuan and diverse? It’s because of this very challenge that so many entrepreneurs are inactive in this regard. Read what the Founder of Flying Solo recommends. Robert Gerrish Founder Flying Solo
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CONTENT S
26 33 4
23
39 43 4 4
35
23 IS NON_JUDGEMENTAL POSSIBLE
35 GRAND FINAL GRABS
Have you ever claimed to be entirely ‘non-judgmental’? Jane Porter shares her thoughts on what this means and whether it is even possible to be truly non-judgmental?
Regular contributor, Wayne Goldsmith explores the lessons learnt under the pressure of Grand Finals. What are the tips learnt at the elite level and how can you use the in your coaching? Don’t miss this amazing insight into the pointer end of the sporting season.
Jane Porter MCC Leadership Coach
Wayne Goldsmith Founder WG Coaching
26 FIVE HABITS FOR EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE Developing emotional resilience is the key to having the capacity to handle stress in any form and at any time. Our clients want and need this, as do we. John is the leader in this field and shares his Top Five Habits Dr John Hindwood Founder – Stress Management Institute
39 PERSONAL BRANDING IS FOR YOUR FANS Branding expert Lauren Clement takes us through three examples of personal branding in action. If you are your product, then this is the article to help you find your perfect brand.
Lauren Clemett Ultimate Business Propellor
30 THE HOW… NOT WHAT OF COACHING As a coach, a fundamental factor in ensuring a pathway for your players to maximise their potential and engage them in loving (and staying in) the game is to know and understand them. This is the HOW of Coaching. Jonny McMurty Rugby Coach
33 UNPACKING CLIENTS BAGGAGE We all carry baggage and one of our jobs as a coach is to help our clients unpack theirs. This is really at the foundation of what we do and Keri uses her 20+ years of experience to explore how best to tackle this. Dr Keri Ohlrich CEO - Abbracci Group
43 COACHING BEHIND THE MASK What is Change Fitness and how can it help you as a coach. Steve Barlow, Founder of The Change Gym, explores the 7 elements of Change Fitness. A must read for every coach. Steve Barlow Director – The Change Gym
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To Coach or Not – How Do You Know When to Coach? By Marcia Reynolds, PsyD, Master Certified Coach
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H
ow do you know when someone wants to be coached, even if they say they do?
When I was learning how to coach, I jumped to practice whenever I could. Once, when a colleague tried to coach me on a situation when I wanted an ear to vent, I shut her down. I heard myself say, “Stop coaching me. Right now, I just need a friend.” That woke me up to my own intrusions. No matter how good you are at asking questions, there must be a willingness to engage in coaching for you to be effective. Outside of a formally declared coaching session, ask people if they would like some coaching before you start probing. You might ask, “What is it you need from me right now?” Often, people just want to be listened to, especially if they feel hurt or are grieving a loss. Even if someone says they want coaching, make sure they are willing to engage with you. The person must demonstrate willingness to question their own thoughts and motivations, not just seek affirmation for their views. They might just want you to take the time to create a plan, but they aren’t open to being coached around the plan’s purpose, practicality, or contingencies. However, don’t assume defensiveness or hesitation means they are uncoachable. Ask what is causing the push-back or uncertainty. They may respond defensively, but then willingly describe what they are thinking about.
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There are many times people don’t want or need coaching. You need to determine with them what they need right now. Then call what you are doing what it is – coaching or something else. They are probably more frustrated with themselves than they are with your coaching.
IF YOU AGREE TO COACH, DON’T DO SOMETHING ELSE
Many coaches say they do hybrid coaching that blends mentoring into the conversation. They say people pay for our opinions and the benefits of our experiences. There is no such thing as hybrid coaching. You are either coaching or you’re doing something else. Something else might be exactly what someone needs. Ask if they would like some advice or suggestions. Be sure to tell them you’ve taken off your coaching hat so they know the difference between coaching and giving advice.
There are also well-known people who call themselves coaches who declare just asking questions wastes people’s time. They staunchly defend their reasons for giving advice. I agree – only asking questions is a waste of time. Coaching includes many other conversational practices, including summarizing, noticing emotional shifts, and acknowledging courageous decisions. Coaching is a reflective inquiry process, not a question-asking activity. This notion of hybrid coaching dilutes the value of coaching. When you mix mentoring, advice giving, and leading people to what is best for them into what you call coaching, people come to expect the easy way out. They look forward to you telling them what to do. This might be helpful, but they miss experiencing the
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best technology we have for facilitating long-term behavioral change. There are many times people don’t want or need coaching. You need to determine with them what they need right now. Then call what you are doing what it is – coaching or something else.
BE SURE COACHING IS THE RIGHT OPTION
Sometimes the person lacks experience and knowledge to draw on to formulate a new perspective. You can’t coach something out of nothing. However, be careful this deficit is real. When they say they have no idea what to do, ask if they have no idea or are they afraid to try the solution that comes to mind? If there was nothing to lose, what would they try? If they still have no idea, then ask if you can offer advice or your experiences to jumpstart a conversation about possibilities. Coaching is best used clients have some knowledge and skills to draw on, but they aren’t sure about the options, what’s best to do first, or the reasons for their own uncertainty. If they have a decision to make, they are confused by the shoulds that bombard their brain, their
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DO NOT COACH IF YOU CAN’T:
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There is no such thing as hybrid coaching. You are either coaching or you’re doing something else. fear of making the wrong move, or the purpose of their actions isn’t clear. Sometimes people already know what they want to do and just need a sounding board. Coaching can help them sort out and organize thoughts. There doesn’t have to be a breakthrough in every coaching conversation. The best value you can give clients is to be their thinking partner. We do not see our clients as clueless and needing to be shown the way (consulting).
• Let go of how the conversation will go. Of course you want the person to resolve their problems, but you can’t be attached to how the conversation will progress or what the outcome will be. • Believe in their ability to figure out what to do. If you doubt the person’s ability to find a way forward, then choose to mentor or direct the conversation instead. Otherwise, your impatience will impact the conversation even if you have been trained to put on a poker face. • Feel hopeful, curious, and care. If you are angry or disappointed with someone, they will react to your emotions more than your words. If you are afraid the conversation won’t go well, do what you can to release your fear so you model what courage and optimism feels like. Not all conversations can or should be coaching sessions. Figure out what the person needs from you with the dilemma they are facing. Then choose to coach or do something else.
We do not see our clients as needing to be healed (therapy). We respect them as being just as smart as we are. They are able to use their creativity and resources to solve their own problems through a conversation that helps them see beyond their blocks. When I teach coaching skills to leaders, I ask, “Are you willing to give up being the one who knows best to be the coach?” You must step out of being the expert, the fixer, or the healer in order to coach. Dr. Marcia Reynolds, Master Certified Coach helps coaches and leaders make every conversation a difference-making experience. She has provided coaching and training in 41 countries and is recognized by Global Gurus as the #3 coach in the world. Excerpts from Marcia’s books Outsmart Your Brain; The Discomfort Zone; and Wander Woman have appeared in business and psychological publications world-wide. Her next book, The Coach’s Guide to Reflective Inquiry, will be published June, 2020. Marcia is a founding member and past president of the International Coach Federation, teaches coaching for schools in the US, China, and Russia, and speaks at coaching conferences globally. She is passionate about how coaching contributes to making the world a better place for all.
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9
Accelerators To Building A Business On Referrals & Warm Qualified Leads
By Michael Griffiths
Remember the days when it was easy? Remember when everything felt doable and it all just flowed? Well lets help you get back there, with getting new warm qualified leads and referrals into your coaching business every day. I often feel we over complicate things, we make it harder and therefore that gets us stuck. We spend too much time, effort, money on the wrong activities because either someone has told us the wrong things or we just don’t know what we don’t know. Myth: You have to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars each month on marketing to get new business
Facebook Ads, SEO, Pay Per Click, Funnels, Leads, Masterminds, Conferences, Networking Events….. It is enough to make any coach go crazy!!!
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Myth: You have to go to networking events every week to get new business Myth: You need a website or even a business card to get new business All you need is some basic structures and processes that become your key marketing activities.
Bottom line marketing is all about 3 things
1. Building an audience of people who have the pain point you solve and are looking for a solution. 2. Educating, nurturing and showing that audience that you are the expert who can help them. 3. Asking them if they would like help and getting them to raise their hand. So our first step is we need to build an audience (a fancy word for generating leads). There are cold leads (YUCK!!!) who don’t know you, like you or trust you. AND then there are warm leads who convert easier and are often much better clients. So I want you to start generating warm qualified leads and referrals as that
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Maintain engagement with your networks, it’s so important to be front of mind of your networks, as in this day and age, people will forget you every 45 days if you aren’t front of mind!
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will help your business grow faster and it will be much easier at your end. After much tweaking, stuffing around and trailing, we have perfected the 9 Accelerators to the Million Dollar Referral System. A system that has been filling our clients lead buckets with 15-20 warm, qualified leads and referrals each and every single day. So here we go… The 9 Accelerators that you want to focus on to grow your
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business without having to spend money on traditional marketing. 1. Build Referral Sources The first accelerator is all about finding the right places to get referrals from and creating your ‘go-to’ list of referral sources. When selecting your referral sources, make sure you select sources that are also in contact with your ideal client. Remember, the more referral sources you have, the more referrals you’ll get each week. 2. Create Joint Ventures and Affiliates Find the right people to create new partnerships and opportunities with. Remember, these relationships need to be beneficial for both you and the other party – when creating these relationships, focus on creating win-win scenarios for both parties. Think of this example McDonald’s promotes TimeZone and vice versa. All they are doing is sharing each other’s customers! 3. Systemise Client Referrals It is simple, without a system in place, people won’t know how to refer you. However, it’s important to remember,
that you can’t simply expect your clients to refer you – you need to deliver extraordinary value to your clients and then they will refer you. Once they’re ready to refer, your system comes into play and makes the whole referral process easier. 4. Grow Your Networks With Perfect People Find the right people to have in your network and surround yourself with them. Hot tip, when someone connects with you – start thinking about how you could partner together or open doors for one another. Once you’ve found the right people, you will find that they will start opening doors for you to new opportunities, this can only happen once you surround yourself with the perfect people. 5. Maintain Engagement Maintain engagement with your networks, it’s so important to be front of mind of your networks, as in this day and age, people will forget you every 45 days if you aren’t front of mind! The easiest way to maintain engagement with your network is to talk to them – send them an email, like a Facebook or Instagram post, send them a Facebook or LinkedIn message – just get front of mind! 6. Start Conversation Start new conversations, everything good in business starts with a conversation. Starting conversations doesn’t have to be hard either – the key to
starting a great conversation is to not overthink it. Start simple, something like ‘Hi! How are things with you?’ is a great place to start. 7. Leverage Access Leverage your networks to gain access to new people and opportunities. This accelerator is all about learning to fish where the fish are, but on a grand scale! Think big here, it’s not just other businesses where your ideal clients are, but the governing associations, professional bodies of your ideal clients.
8. Fill CRM Fill your CRM with new people to talk to - our Partnership Club Tribe add 500+ people to their CRM each month! The way we look at it is, if you have more people in your CRM, you have more opportunities to create new conversations, and ultimately, more sales. 9. Gain Mass Exposure The final accelerator is all about getting yourself out there! This is where you say yes to jumping on your friends podcast, doing a Facebook Live with a Joint Venture Partner, writing an article for a client’s monthly newsletter. Ultimately, if you get in front of more people you get more exposure, and more exposure = more opportunities. The key with the 9 accelerators is to start. Don’t worry where or on which one. JUST START!! They don’t have to be done in order, they all work side by side and when you put all 9 into your business you will be amazed at the momentum you will build.
Michael Griffiths is the founder of Referral Marketing Guru – The #1 authority on referral marketing training for service providers around the globe. The Million Dollar Referral System, focuses on helping businesses build out the 9 accelerators into their business to generate 15-20 warm qualified leads and referrals per day. Grab a copy of the FREE Guide – Building Your Million Dollar Referral System at www.michaelgriffiths.com.au/guide Jump into the Referral Network Facebook group at – www.michaelgriffiths.com.au/facebook
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From Grand “Failures”
to Great Victories W
e all know the age-old quote, “When one door closes, another opens.” What most don’t know is the other half of this famous quote by Alexander Graham Bell. “But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” The first half of this quote is meant to be aspirational, but the second half hints at the reality of how we often face failure. Nobody likes to fail. It is in our nature to aim higher and bigger, searching for greater things. When the door is slammed in our face, it can be difficult to see opportunity in the wood grain. So how do we make a conscious shift towards feeling more empowered and aligned with success?
By Nikita Yefimova
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The problem is not in the failure itself, it is the defeat that we experience as a result of it that makes success seem unattainable. When you shift from getting defeated by failure to learning how to manage it, you step deeper into your potential. In my practice I utilize four essential components for sustainable success management: integrate the neuroscience of success with mindfulness, practice engaging in strength, develop Growth Mindset, have a mentor and/or a network of support. There is a biological phenomenon called the “winner effect” that links the feel-good hormone dopamine to winning. In nature when an animal wins a fight against weaker opponents, its nervous system produces a large release of dopamine. A few victories over time change their brain structure and chemical makeup making them more confident and thus more likely to win against stronger opponents. This applies to the human
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brain as well. According to a cognitive scientist Ian Robertson,“Winning increases the dopamine receptors in the brain, which makes you smarter and more bold. Success and failure shape us more powerfully than genetics and drugs.” In a sense, a little success produces more success. When you accomplish small tasks throughout the day, you experience a steady release of dopamine. Experiencing these successive dopamine infusions creates a positive feedback loop resulting in a steady flow of dopamine that helps get things done. Consistency trains your brain to attach a dopamine burst to the task you want as a reward. Breaking a big goal into smaller ones and setting realistic timelines will assist in rewiring your brain for success. How does mindfulness play in to this? Mindfulness, essentially is awareness that arises through the intention to be in the present moment. The question I often offer to my clients and ask myself is, “What
is the best thing that can happen right now?” This question is an instant way out of stuck-ness. It links present situation with long term goals. It brings clarity and focus by aligning our decisions for short term goals with the grand vision. A regular meditation practice builds the capacity to stay present. Coincidentally, recent studies on the effects of meditation concluded that having a stable meditation practice significantly elevates dopamine levels. In addition mindfulness can facilitate a shift in mindset. It takes an incredible amount of self-awareness to be able to look past failures to see the potential that has not yet been actualized. In a fixed mindset, you believe that our traits are unchangeable. You rely heavily on your strengths and try to avoid situations that are challenging. Alternatively, individuals with a growth mindset believe in the ability to change with time and experience. They understand that growth requires effort. This extra effort and flexibility leads to more and more success. Next, is to see challenges as opportunities for growth. By avoiding discomfort
Nikita Yefimova
Mindfulness can facilitate a shift in mindset. It takes an incredible amount of self-awareness to be able to look past failures to see the potential that has not yet been actualized. In a fixed mindset, you believe that our traits are unchangeable. caused by challenges, you deny yourself the opportunity to learn new ways of being. As you teach yourself to lean into discomfort wholeheartedly with innocence and curiosity, you start to recover your original sense of Spirited Wholeness. You recognize that victory is an attitude and a choice. This takes us back to brain chemistry. Deliberately choosing the hard, more laborious route, (i.e. tasks requiring more work), stimulates dopamine release in the regions of the brain that encourage motivation! Persistent engagement in this process is what I call engagement in strength: intent followed by congruent action. Lastly, at the foundation of mindfulness is non-judgement which sets a whole different context for managing failure. By acknowledging areas that may not be your strong suit, you can start to see your latent potential. In fact, with enough awareness and proper support what you
originally perceived as “weakness” often turns out to be a special ability, talent, or even a superpower. This is the fourth key component in my success management strategy: no one succeeds alone. It is a well known fact that social support fosters positive emotions and can serve as a buffer against stress. Mentors, coaches, and peers keep us accountable. They are indispensable when it comes to reflecting your strengths, pointing out blind spots, and inspiring you to move forward. Ask any successful entrepreneur and they will tell you that somewhere along the way they got mentored, inspired, challenged, encouraged by another person. Every individual’s journey is unique. By sharing these four principles of holistic success management, I hope to inspire you to start seeing your grand failures as nothing more than stepping stones in the journey to great victories.
Nikita is a successful San Francisco, Bay Area based somatic coach and psychologist who works exclusively with mindful entrepreneurs, community leaders, and startup founders. What sets her apart from other coaches is her deep dedication to her spiritual path. In her work Nikita integrates her passion for meditation and energy work with cutting edge techniques in the field of psychology and human development. With over 15 years of experience under her belt, Nikita’s mission is to support her clients holistically so they can have a greater impact on their communities. Having a great appreciation for creativity and individuality, Nikita has designed a hybrid system composed of different modalities of human development work that helps people she works with to step deeper into their authentic creative expression and leadership. Nikita believes that there are no shortcuts to quality. She custom designs each program for every client or group of clients creating the perfect blend of engaging practices aimed to improve EQ, develop new skills, and engage in life and work in ways that promote healing and growth. In recent years, following her passions for international travel, Nikita has been focused on being able to offer her services internationally. She has worked with clients in the US, UK, Canada, Europe, and Central America. Her latest project involves building a community of mindfulness oriented entrepreneurs that meet around the world for one of a kind co-working and co-living experiences. These retreat style growth incubators encourage the attendees to learn and play together, get inspiration and support from each other, and provide them with new productivity and mindfulness tools. Within this community as well as in her personal and professional life, Nikita is always looking for ways to facilitate more growth, collaboration, and connection.
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It’s all about
CHOICE By Peter Downs
T
here’s no doubt about it. Inclusion and diversity is on trend in Australian sport. Being inclusive is the thing to be! Sports now have Inclusion Officers engaged to design programs that create greater diversity in sport participation. Some sports have entire departments dedicated to inclusion and diversity. Sport is increasingly reflecting our changing communities. All this is welcome and many would argue, long overdue. Coaching is front and centre of the inclusion movement. So it should be. The role of the coach is critical to engaging and encouraging anyone to get involved, and stay involved in sport. But what does it take to be an inclusive coach? What does an inclusive coach need to know and do to be inclusive?
What is inclusion, diversity and discrimination?
No doubt you’ve seen words like inclusion, diversity, integration or even mainstreaming as it relates to coaching. What do all these mean? Is there a difference between these terms? Well, that’s up to you! There are many different definitions for these terms you
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can find online. But, definitions are not that important or very helpful. Whatever you call it, inclusion is about your coaching being open to everyone, without unfair discrimination. A good way to think about it is to consider your local community and the choices you offer to participate in coaching. Who is in your community? Not all communities are the same. A community on the north shore of Sydney is not the same as a community in Bendigo or Toowoomba? Does your coaching group reflect your local community? Are people missing? If so, why are they missing? Are there choices you can offer that will encourage more diverse groups?
It’s all about choices and recognising unfair discrimination
A practical way to look at inclusion is to think about it in terms of the choices you offer. For example, to meet demand
you might run a specific coaching session for young people with disability. Your athletes might be training toward a disability specific event. But are other choices available? Could some of your athletes join other coaching groups and benefit from more generalised training and interaction with peers? Do you offer choices for women only coaching; or newly arrived migrants; or LGBTQI+ people? If you are open to diverse groups of people how do these people know that you are? Very often, this is where inclusive coaching falls over. It’s not that coaches are unwilling or deliberately unfairly discriminating against people, it’s more that people don’t know if a coach is willing to take them on. For many people that have experienced disadvantage in their lives it’s very difficult to approach a club about coaching. So, be proactive and let the world know that you are proudly inclusive and open to everyone. Even if you are open to everyone and proudly inclusive it’s still important to rec-
ognise where you may be discriminating against people. The thing about discrimination is that it can be fair or unfair and unintentional or intentional. Clearly, the majority of coaches want to be intentionally fair. However, it’s still good to be vigilant against unintentional unfairness. Discrimination can be against the law when it is unfair based on a personal characteristic (termed protected charac-
teristic). Truth is, this can be a grey area for many coaches, for example: • When you treat someone unfairly because of who they are. For example, not allowing someone to join your coaching group because they have a disability, or • When you treat someone unfairly because you think they belong to a particular protected group. For example, dropping someone from the team because they will not play on a Sunday and you think it is due to their religion, or • When you treat someone unfairly because they have an association with someone from a protected group. For example, you exclude someone from coaching because they have a son who is gay. This is known as discrimination by association. Of course, the issue of what is fair or unfair and whether it is based on a personal characteristic or not, can be difficult. As the nuances of these example show. And it’s not that unfair discrimination is always a deliberate act. Often, unfair discrimination can occur unintentionally. This is why it is particularly important for coaches to understand what discrimination is and what to do about it, should it be an issue? Being inclusive is not only about having a positive open attitude. That’s a starting point for ongoing work around offering greater choices for people to benefit from coaching. Stay vigilant about unfair discrimination and talk to colleagues on how your club and coaching environment can truly reflect the community it is in. Peter Downs National Manager – Play by the Rules www.playbytherules.net.au Peter Downs is currently National Manager of Play by the Rules, a multiagency initiative that promotes safe, fair and inclusive sport. He is former Manager of the Australian Sports Commission’s Disability Sport Unit for 17 years and a Churchill Fellowship recipient, studying models of inclusive practice in sport in Finland, UK and US in 2014.
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Coach to Lead, Empower and Leverage time C
“A good coach can change a game… a great coach can change a life”
By Renée Giarrusso
oaching is a topic I am extremely passionate about and the awareness of professional coaching is rapidly growing around the globe. In a recent ICF study over sixty-six percent of all respondents indicated that they were very or somewhat aware of the field of professional Business and/or life coaching (2017 ICF Global Consumer study). Of these respondents 31% indicated they had participated in a professional business and/or life Coaching relationship. Willingness to participate in coaching was also found to be high with those that have not yet engaged in coaching.
These findings excite me and with the younger generations coming through looking to be the most aware of coaching the future of coaching is more important and alive than ever.
When coaching, we need to add value when it is needed but “add” value, not just give it away. Don’t feel like you need to justify your position or share everything you know at all times, this is a key barrier many coaches face.
Any high performing team, be it AFL, sales, project teams, the customer frontline or a leadership team have usually had exposure to coaching. Limitless Leaders™ are seen as a coaching resource and know the importance of this in their role. When coaching we need to add value when it is needed but “add” value, not just give it away. Don’t feel like you need to justify your position or share everything you know at all times, this is a key barrier many coaches face. The more others think for themselves and
own their decisions the less likely they will depend on you, therefore, thinking for themselves and consulting with their peers to achieve their objective. This gives you, the coach or manager, more time to focus on what really matters and be a truly collaborative partner in their success. As a coach, you are not unlike a conductor in an orchestra. Your job is to guide, challenge, nurture and empower and to not be playing any of the actual instruments.
There is a plethora of motivations for people seeking coaching with the 2017 ICF Global study identifying the top 3 motivations: • Optimising individual/teamwork and performance • Improvement in communication skills • Increasing productivity Whatever the coachee is seeking to achieve I believe when coaching there are 3 key areas that need our focus as a coach: • True commitment • Know your purpose of coaching, the “why” of what you do • Effective Communication • Clear, concise, open and honest • Deep Connection • To our profession and clients Taking a few moments to reflect on these three areas can assist us in collaborating in a transformational experience versus a transactional one with our coachee. Recently when running our “Leader as Coach” program to senior leaders, one of the participants asked me for my definition of coaching to which I responded, “It’s like delegating thinking”. Until this point with over 24 years exposure to coaching, both as a coach and being coached, I had never really looked at it like
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this, but it made total sense. Empowering others to think for themselves by provoking thought and guiding them to come up with their own solutions is simply delegating thinking. So how do we do this? The first step is to start to ask and not tell or in other words coach and make coaching as simple as an everyday conversation.
of empowerment in others to think for themselves, grow their skill set and develop future leaders in the process. Think about what you are controlling or holding onto that you can delegate to someone else. We tend to hold on to the things we like without even realising they could be delegated. Could someone else chair or organise that next meeting? Letting go requires trust. What will it cost you not to do this?
Create the space for others to be empowered
What I have learnt, without giving you a lesson on how to coach, are the below 5 insights that you can instil right now to empower others to think for themselves:
I don’t believe you can empower others directly. What I do believe is that you can create the space for people to feel empowered and create ownership themselves. Whatever you do, make sure people have the space and choice of how they will achieve tasks. Give them the “what” but not the “how” and stand back and let them go! Check in where and when needed but ask them what that would look like. Ask for permission if giving suggestions and never underestimate the power of simplicity. Always acknowledge progress and action.
Let go of needing to add value
Ask Questions and Be Curious
“The best coaches’ leaders I know are seen as a coaching resource not an endless pit of answers, ideas and responses.”
By letting go of being the all-knowing coach or manager you create the space
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How easy is it to provide the answer when individuals approach you? Take a
Coaching, along with other postures such as mentoring, demonstrating and training can have a huge pay off if used with the right intentions and for the right outcomes. step back and ask them what solutions they have thought of. Many will say “they don’t know” but don’t buy into this. They usually aren’t stuck but instead are used to you thinking for them at certain times. Be strong on this and get them to go away and come back with possible solutions and then go from there. I call this “coaching on the fly” and is simply an informal conversation that can happen face to face, over the phone and by email. This is a great way to build your coaching muscle. Stay curious, avoid judgement and listen deeply.
Maximise Team Strengths
Mary isn’t great at reporting, but Dean is, so how about getting Dean to do the reporting and have Mary assist him? This
is a great way for peers to learn from each other and get stuff done without coming to you. I am a huge believer in building a strength-based team by identifying and then leveraging strengths and the things that energise each other. A bit like instruments in an orchestra, it takes all types to play a harmonised tune. Find out what lights your coachee up and help them satisfy this. Leverage a strength-based team.
Cut through Communication
People won’t buy into change if there is nothing in it for them. Communication is all about the response that you get. You need to build rapport as rapport equates to influence. In all the work I have done
understanding others, the key is you need to have conversations that count, that are clear and are with intent. Be a bit like the other person. If he or she loves detail, then be more detailed in your conversation. If they are big picture, then ensure you match this. Don’t change who you are but amplify your energy and approach a 20% match to fast track rapport. These conversations get the other person to be more open and honest and trust and respect is built. This will assist in the other person understanding why they need to do what they do and creates ownership and accountability. Coaching, along with other postures such as mentoring, demonstrating and training can have a huge pay off if used with the right intentions and for the right outcomes. International Coaching Federation studies have found that organisations that have a solid coaching program in place can enjoy up to a 70% improvement on overall work performance, a 51% increase in team effectiveness and 80% increase in self-confidence. Whether you are coaching from a leadership position or as a professional coach you have an important responsibility. Remember awareness and acceptance cultivates transformation and the relationship is about growing the coachee with the added bonus of you growing in that process.
To being Limitless Renée Giarrusso Director-RG Dynamics Accelerating Limitless Leaders™, Teams and Organisations www.reneegiarrusso.com
Renée Giarrusso is an accomplished speaker, author, facilitator, trainer and coach (PCC) who works with leaders, organisations and teams to accelerate mindset, communication leadership and performance. She founded RG Dynamics 12 years ago after 18 years working in senior leadership, sales and marketing roles within a global FMCG. She has been working with leaders and teams across 24 industries including Telecommunications, Building, Engineering, Fast Moving Consumer Goods, Professional services, Consumer Durables, Government (job services), automotive, electronics and many more. Renée is obsessed with working with individuals and their teams to fulfil their potential resulting in increased performance and success. She believes everyone is limitless in their ability to achieve through applying skills, habits and a leadership mindset. Her expertise in growing and developing capability and behavioural change around leadership, communication, coaching, presentation skills and sales effectiveness leave her clients inspired, re-energised and with improved results. Renée published her 1st book Limitless Leadership™ in 2017, was featured in the anthology Leaders of Influence in 2018, and her third book is currently underway.
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How to accelerate word-of-mouth in your coaching business I
t’s a common misperception that referrals only come from past customers. Undeniably they’re an important group, but to presuppose someone has to experience you before they refer others to you is simply wrong.
By Robert Gerrish Page 20
I recently asked a group of small business owners to share who typically referred business opportunities to them and below are just some of the responses.
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‘Past customers!’ ‘Close friends.’ ‘Parents I met at the school gates.’ ‘Members of my industry association.’ ‘Other businesses in my neighbourhood.’ ‘My mother!’ ‘Random people in my local community.’ ‘Members of staff.’ ‘My next door neighbour’ ‘General business contacts.’ ‘The networking group I attend.’ ‘My Instagram followers.’ ‘Suppliers’ ‘My barista’
And so the list went on. The responses are so broad and frankly it seems that anyone with a heartbeat can talk about you with others. While that’s a huge opportunity, it also presents us with a problem. How can you develop any semblance of a word-of-mouth strategy when the audience for your effort is so gargantuan
How can you develop any semblance of a word-of-mouth strategy when the audience for your effort is so gargantuan and diverse? It’s because of this very challenge that so many entrepreneurs are inactive in this regard.
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and diverse? It’s because of this very challenge that so many entrepreneurs are inactive in this regard. I figure it’s time to change all that! The solution is to group people together, regardless of where they come from, by characteristics rather than sectors. Think of people in terms of where they’re positioned within your sphere of influence and from there the job is to work to draw them closer. People start out as what I’ll call the great unknown and that’s an unwieldy audience! Once some kind of connection and dialogue has commenced, we might begin to think of people as new acquaintances and from there friends, fans or the altogether perfect raving fans and advocates. Raving fans and advocates are ultimately where we want people to get to. Not all will get there, but the ones who do have the power to open the door to a stream of referrals. These are the people who help grow your business by word-of-mouth. Surround yourself with enough of them and it’s possible to nail your marketing for life. We all know of those tradesmen, therapists or sandwich shops that have a constant queue of customers without spending a cent on marketing. That’s the power of referral marketing, and the good news is that it can be replicated in any business.
The referral-bullseye technique If there’s one device that I found incredibly valuable in the development of my own business and that I have shared countless times, it’s the referral bullseye. Let’s pull it apart now.
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As you can see, it resembles an archery target, a series of concentric circles, where the word ‘Advocates’ sits in the centre, the bullseye. With this target in your mind, strangers (or the great unknown if you prefer) is where a new relationship sits and advocates is ideally where each new contact will ultimately end up. Advocates actively spread word-ofmouth about the work we do and who we do it for. Often when we think of those who refer business to us, we tend to group people by business sector, or where you first met them. Much more useful, I think, is a model based on the nature of your current relationship. The challenge is to gradually move those at the edge of the target to the
‘bullseye’ where the true advocates for your business are. The ones who really get where you’re coming from and want to see you do well. You only need a few to work wonders for your business. When you start to think of your communication and actions based on where your relationship stands, it soon becomes clear what you should be doing at when. Do you promote heavily to new acquaintances? No of course not, you’ll repel them. Instead, consider fixing up a coffee catch up or take steps to help them in their life and business. Just don’t start selling! What about fans, the people who clearly like and support who you are and what you do? At this stage, this is perhaps the point to host a small event, an opportunity to ‘give back’ to those who already
feed your confidence and provide warmth when you meet. At your event, you can thank fans for their support AND invite them to become advocates, to take the next step. If I had a roomful of fans, I might say: “I really appreciate your support of my work and I’d like to invite you to help me help others. I’m looking for three creative entrepreneurs who would like to build a clear vision for the next stage of their ventures.” Does that sound clumsy or pushy? I don’t think so, because I’m saying it to the right people at the right time.
Robert Gerrish supports individuals starting, growing, fine-tuning or exiting their business. He founded the Flying Solo online community, co-wrote the bestseller of the same name, and in mid-2018 his latest book ‘The 1 Minute Commute’ hit the bookshelves. He’s a podcaster, speaker and works one-on-one with a small group of independent professionals and creative entrepreneurs. Find him at www. robertgerrish.com
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Is it humanly possible to be truly non-judgmental? By Jane Porter Many coaches happily claim to be entirely ‘non-judgmental’. I’m happy to admit I’ve made the same claim on numerous occasions. However, the more I learn about coaching (and myself), the more I’m led to question this claim, including my own version of it. So, let’s explore the question, is it humanly possible to be truly non-judgmental? Fresh from a recent break, I find myself smiling wryly at this concept of ‘coaches being non-judgmental’. I spent a lot of time with family over this period, which I’m fortunate to say was largely a positive experience, but was I ever truly non-judgmental during this time? Not a chance! Whilst I was not in the role of ‘coach’, as a way of dealing with the family mayhem I would find quiet moments by becoming present with myself and observing myself in the dynamic. My challenge to myself during these moments was ‘ok let’s just see how non-judgmental you really are’. You can probably predict the result of my experiment. Picture the scene…a large family gathering, relations of all ages from zero to 80 something, it’s hot, it’s noisy, kids, food
and dogs everywhere, and my brain was busying itself with all sorts of interesting thoughts… ‘What is C wearing? B is quiet today. F can’t keep those kids under control. K looks well… I could go on… and on…and on. Earlier in the piece I did say that it was largely a positive experience, so what was it that was causing my
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brain to engage in judgement with almost every thought? The in-depth answer to that question is well beyond the scope of these few lines, but let’s have a look at what’s happening through an explicit and implicit lens. On an explicit level I’ll happily tell you I’m non-judgmental and I had a great
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As a professional coach I have a choice, I can claim I am non-judgmental, say that I don’t take judgement into sessions with me, and claim I am something akin to superhuman, or I can embrace my well-practiced judging capability, and see it as an asset to my role as coach. time with my family during this time. Not dissimilar to the coach who claims to be ‘non-judgmental’. On an implicit level, a whole bunch of other stuff was happening. Siri Carpenter deals with this topic in an article in Scientific American (2008) entitled Buried Prejudice. Carpenter explains that, “… implicit biases grow out of normal and necessary features of human cognition, such as our tendency to categorise, to
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form cliques and to absorb social messages and cues…” He also states that often such associations exist outside conscious understanding, hence the term unconscious bias. The good news, it’s quite normal, the bad news is we are doing it ALL the time. If you don’t buy into this idea, have a go at Harvard Education’s Implicit Bias Testing. It’s humbling. So, there it is; we are judging all the time. In fact, we can’t switch it off.
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So,what does this mean for coaching? As a professional coach I have a choice, I can claim I am non-judgmental, say that I don’t take judgement into sessions with me, and claim I am something akin to superhuman, or I can embrace my well-practiced judging capability, and see it as an asset to my role as coach. So, let’s flip the statement. What would it be like for we coaches were to
claim our discerning inner judges and name this as a coaching strength? • Coaches would then be making effective judgement about which coaching approaches they bring to each session to best serve their counterpart. • When ethical dilemmas present in coaching discerning judgement would be used to decide whether and how the coaching will continue. • Coaches would judge what they think they heard and then make decisions on how this might be used to craft the next powerful question. • Coaches would judge what to share of what they notice about a counterpart. • Coaches would effectively judge how to manage the time in a session to ensure effective action and outcomes within the time available. • Coaches would have heightened awareness of their own biases and how they are showing up in the coaching session and relationship.
There is the point to be made here. All judgments are not made equal, depending on who and what the judgement is in service of. • Coaches would make judgement calls on whether what they were experiencing would be useful for the counterpart to hear. Given that this cursory list is only a few of many ideas, would it then be true to say that if a coach stops judging they will more than likely lose impact? There is the point to be made here that all judgments are not made equal, depending on who and what the judgement is in service of. For example, if I am judging the coaching action that you just committed to as ‘useless’ it’s simply my opinion and is self-serving. If I judge that the action you just set yourself doesn’t seem to align with what you said you wanted, I can use this information to ask a question such as, ‘As you imagine yourself taking that action, how do you see this moving you towards your stated coaching objective?’ So where do you stand on this? Should coaches strive for total non-judgement
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and wear this as a badge of honour? Or is there something here that we need to claim and integrate into our practice? For over 20 years IECL by GrowthOps has been coaching leaders and has been a centre for excellence in coaching, coach training and leadership development in Australia and the Asia-Pacific region. Our mission is to improve the performance of individuals, teams and organisations. Our ICF accredited programs are the region’s most highly respected organisational coaching qualification, conforming to the rigorous standards set by ICF and teaching the ICF core competencies to ensure we turn out great coaches, who get strong results.
BY JANE PORTER Master Certified Coach (MCC with ICF) and Head of Education, working across APAC both in person and virtually. Her focus is on increasing the ability of Executives and Internal Corporate Coaches to deal with the complexity.
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• Por (J)eve{oping
Emotional Resilience
By Dr John Hindwood
D
eveloping emotional resilience is the key to having the capacity to handle stress in any form and at any time in your life. Channeling stress into
a positive energy can radically im prove your performance and creativity, making you brighter and quicker. This is crucial in the short and the long term to build strong, lasting relationships with those around you, while managing your own stress in a healthy manner.
In Australia at this time of the year we are approaching the Grand Final season in the football codes. The Rugby World Cup is on in Japan in September. The winners of these
events will be the most resilient teams, not necessarily the teams with the most star players.
Asking for help increases resilience. While many people feel asking for help is a sign of weakness, it's just a mindset of insecurity and self judgement. The person who possess emotional resilience knows that they accept their own strengths and limitations. They understand that while having self-confidence, they realise that they don't necessarily know everything there is to know and aren't afraid to admit this. Asking for help decreases the secretion of cortisol and increases the secretion of 'happy hormones', which in turn decreases the person's level of distress.
3. They Can Discuss Conflict Clearly and Objectively
Here are five key habits that you can use to identify a person who has developed strong emotional resilience.
l. They Can Deal with Communication Problems in a Calm Way When they are having communication problems with people, whether it's their spouse, partner, family members, colleagues or strangers, they stay calm and remain patient. They have developed tools and strategies to cope with the frustration. This is a sure sign of emotional resilience. Their ability to listen to, and act on messages from their 'gut brain', that relies on intuitive feelings, is a key resilience strategy. Calmly being able to redirect or reframe the approach of their message when it clearly isn't getting across displays their emotional resilience.
2. They Know Asking for Help is a Strength Not a Weakness
Arguments can bring out the worst in people and bring up difficult emotions. It can cause feelings of frustration, feeling like you're not being understood or heard and goes against our need to be accepted and always right. People who are emotionally resilient can explain a conflict in a clear and objective way. They have self-awareness of their own emotions, they can self-manage these emotions, be empathetic towards where other people are coming from in their argument, and be good at handling the other person's emotions too.
The how... not what of coaching A
fter an excellent article written around Matt Wilkie, IRFU’s head of coach development, it pushed me down a rabbit hole, looking at how we can adjust our focus to the how and whom we coach, rather than the specific content, or focusing solely on the what aspects such as technical, tactical and strategic aspects. His interview addressed how he is more interested in how coaching is done, rather than the specific content; he talks of how the vast majority of coaches on the IRFU’s books have used him as a resource, mainly focusing on things like leadership, communication, learning outcomes, and educational models:
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The key thing successful coaches have is probably off the field...It’s their ability to connect, the relationships they form with their players, and their ability to man-manage... those interpersonal skills, communication, emotional intelligence – those seem to be the key attributes of the successful coach. Let’s focus on how we’re coaching, rather than what we’re coaching. There are some areas of significance which can be introduced into our coaching practices, echoing Wilkie’s comments - focus on com-
munication and connection to create bonds and relationships for long term athlete participation, enjoyment and development. I believe when it comes to coaching and player development, the player must sit at the centre of the environment; every individual in your group must sit at the centre of the environment. As a coach, a fundamental factor in ensuring a pathway for your players to maximise their potential and engage them in loving (and staying in) the game is to know and understand them; this means focusing on and
By Jonny McMurty
understanding the importance of coachathlete relationships. The challenging part of successful coaching is acknowledging social interactive dilemmas within individual and team goal setting and development, offering suitable scenarios and choices with all members’ involvement and collaboratively dealing with matters as opposed to eradicating them. Research by Mageau and Vallerand regards the “actions of coaches as (possibly) the most critical motivational influences within sport setting”. Coaching should be recognised as an educational dynamic relationship, where the coach can satisfy player’s goals and development but both sides have an investment of will capital, where human initiative and intentionality are both dedicated to show commitment towards goals and relationships. For example, the role of performance coach for specialising late adolescent athletes that I am currently dealing with is highly important. At this stage, coaches shall be “preparing athletes for consistent high-level competitive performance” (Côté,) through effective tactics such as integration of professional, interpersonal, and intrapersonal knowledge and developing player’s specific competence, confidence, connection, and character needs on a regular basis. Therefore, understanding player personal motivations within sport and an aware-
Coaching should be recognised as an educational dynamic relationship, where the coach can satisfy player’s goals and development but both sides have an investment of will capital, where human initiative and intentionality are both dedicated to show commitment towards goals and relationships.
ness of socio-cultural constraints which impacts and effects the athlete shall have positive impact on learning and development relationship. Galinsky and Maddux’s research to sporting context recognises that “taking perspective of (player) produced both greater joint gains and profitable individual outcomes”. In a sports context, this could be improved coach-athlete relationships, regular player involvement in decision making processes with honest and accurate goal attainment for all involved. The main aspects of influential and successful coach-athlete relationships
revolve around ideals such as mutual trust, respect, support, cooperation, communication and understanding of each other and impact of each other within the relationship. Both performance enhancement and physiological well-being is deeply ingrained within the coach-athlete relationship; for example, studies have shown that athlete satisfaction is related to the degree to which athletes understand their role and responsibilities within interactive sports teams. Therefore, a coach’s ability to acknowledge and develop positive interpersonal connections, driven by interpersonal skills and united
sense of purpose and achievement, can offer solid base for positive relationships and learning atmospheres. Coaches need to acknowledge and recognise the effects of positive, interdependent relationships, which are dynamic and interlinked with cognitions, feelings and behaviours to achieve common recognised goals. Jowett’s research recognises the importance of 3+1 C’s (closeness, commitment, complementary and coordination) being critical for successful coach-athlete relationships. I also believe a coach’s ability to use contrast principle, offering clarity by adding context, honesty and reasoning when offering perspective for dynamic and interactive coaching scenarios. My beliefs are echoed in past research including investigations by Mageau and Vallerand; they believe coaches need to offer players opportunity for choice, acknowledge player feelings and perspective, limit controlling behaviours while valuing initiative, problem solving and involvement in decision making. Coming back to address the how we’re coaching, rather than what we’re coaching, I believe we as coaches should assist players to identify problems as opposed to solving them, offering ideas and assistance for how to think and act as opposed to offering solutions. This allows coaches to act as mentors, supporting players to develop meta cognitive skills where the athletes are aware of and take responsibility of appropriate practices and thinking strategies. This idea of learning as being a series of episodes where players identify and build knowledge is termed scaffolding; the coach’s role within assisting players or athletes to work within Zone of proximal development. These methods positions coaches as mentors and have athletes sitting at the centre of the environment, where coaches shift from knowledge expert for their athletes during early stages of development to learning manager or facilitator, offering considerate yet constructive feedback for the player to investigate further. Sports coaches of athletes act as pedagogues and adopt comprehensive and holistic roles in the moral development of their athletes through their adopted and
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shared practices, languages and beliefs. If coaches are to develop knowledgeable, engaged athletes, capable of performing learned tasks when under pressure and not under direct instructions, I believe this shall require bidirectional transfer of knowledge or total ownership by athletes of their development, with support from the coaches as a “more capable other”. With these ideas and supporting research, what tactics or modifications can you make to your coaching practices? • Coach where your feet are: Take time better knowing and understanding your athletes to gain a holistic view of involved players; the art of coaching is knowing how and when to communicate, and how this varies from individual. Work on empathetic relationships and having a better understanding of your athletes or players as this will allow you to modify your environment or approaches for greater impact and understanding. Know your players, know their story, know their context
and then put it into practice. • Listen first…..then ask, don’t talk: A great way to make a meaningful connection is to get to know them and if possible talk about something other than their sport. Ask questions around family, friends and hobbies so you find areas of common interest. For sports related areas, listen to player’s ideas and opinions before offering advice as they may offer you the answers you were going to offer. • Be adaptable and complementary: People, personalities and environments shall change…therefore, so do your coaching methodologies. Asking questions and understanding the answers and whom they’re coming from will give you a snapshot for today yet this needs to be continually addressed and worked on. Be willing to change ideas or structures to match what your athletes or players need today and be reflective and flexible to change to what they need tomorrow.
Jonny McMurty Having been involved in high performance age grade rugby programs across Australia for nearly 10 years, I am currently completing research in conjunction with University of QLD and Rugby Australia, looking at age grade player’s engagement and understanding what motivates, engages and drives players’ participation. I am also working on sharing coaching concepts and findings in written format via website blog and practical format by working directly with coaches in other sports such as soccer, swimming and golf, utilising my background and passion in understanding people’s motivation and assisting them and the people they work with to achieve what they are striving to accomplish in sporting or working atmospheres.
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Unpacking baggage is removing hurdles for clients May I Check Your Bag?
You might be asking, what is this unpacking baggage, I am not traveling! Let’s have a real discussion about baggage. Yep, we all have it. We have good and bad ways of managing ourselves. We have our natural programming that guides us throughout our day. Most of the time, we are not even aware of the “why” of what we are doing. Over time, our bags can get heavier and large enough that we may not be able to see over them. It weighs us down and does not allow us to move freely and effortlessly.
Unbeknownst to ourselves, we can give our baggage to others to carry and weigh them down as well, especially when we are leaders of a team. Our goal is not to get rid of all of our baggage, well, maybe the ones that no longer serve us. We need to live with our baggage and not be controlled by it. We need to be able to use our bags to help us travel to new places, learn about others and ourselves. We need to be able to unpack our bags and know what is in them. And, this is where we can help our
clients. We are their valet who works with them to unpack their bags, see what they contain and help them to understand what works for them and what needs to be put in storage! This idea of uncovering (or unpacking) the baggage is a Grand Final moment. The a-ha moment of clients understanding themselves and examining the baggage they carry around. By understanding this baggage, we, as coaches, can remove those bags or hurdles that are impeding them from achieving their full potential.
By Dr Keri Ohlrich
Is That A Carry-On, Backpack, or Trunk?
What types of baggage do people need to unpack? • A client who realizes that her sense of urgency to get everything done right away is incredibly high. She puts intense pressure on herself and others because of this. She gets frustrated by others not responding as quickly as she does. By uncovering her strong bias for and motivation to “check the box”, she is now able to be kinder to herself, her team and peers. • A client who is highly accommodating in life and work, so much so that he is stressed out, falling behind in work, and leading an unhealthy lifestyle. What baggage did he carry? Saying “Yes” to everything and everyone, except for himself. Together, we unpacked the need to please and how that does not serve him, his health and others.
Let Me Help You With Your Bags
As coaches, it is not easy to help clients unpack their baggage, as it does take an emotional toll on us. We cannot help others if we haven’t unpacked our own bags. We need to model that behavior and explain the “why” behind our motivations, our traits, our modus operandi. If we are not ready to unpack our baggage and own what is inside, then we won’t be able to help our clients. Below are other lessons learned on how I have helped clients unpack: • Employing 360 interviews to help the client uncover their baggage. These interviews are phone calls or in-person discussions with the client’s manager, direct reports and peers. It is not a written survey. You want to hear the tone of the respondent and ask deeper questions than what a paper survey allows. • Providing a psychometric assessment that gives direct, clear, and understandable feedback that allows the client to understand their baggage. My favorite is the Caliper which provides insights into traits (e.g., aggressive, resiliency, empathy, abstract reasoning) in a percentile format. The client
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•
•
•
•
understands that if they are in the 99th aggressive percentile, then they are more aggressive (motivated to argue/debate a point) than just about everyone in the room. As a coach, learn as much as you can on human development and psychology. Knowing these disciplines helps you understand a client’s baggage and how difficult it is or can be to release it. Remind clients that many times baggage has helped them in the past but it might not be helping them move to the next level. Accept that this is hard work for many clients and for coaches! It sometimes might be easier to talk about other business items rather than the baggage. Both coaches and clients might want to avoid these discussions at times. Not every session has to be about unpacking the baggage, some days it might be great to talk about a different topic. However, it cannot be a consistent pattern to avoid unpacking! It is necessary as a coach, to have a flexible process to meet people where they are at and what they need, in-
stead of insisting on rigid adherence to a process. That process may serve you as the coach, but not the client. And, unpacking baggage is messy and convoluted, there is rarely a linear path from identification to management.
The Grand Final
Overall, unpacking baggage is truly getting to the foundation and root cause of individual behavior and motivations. Coaches can help clients with this difficult work by collecting data from others and from conducting psychometric assessments. It is necessary to have frank, direct and potentially uncomfortable discussions with the client in order to guide them to a break-through. Helping a client dig deep and uncover baggage is a Grand Final for a coach as well as a Grand Final for a client. Your client is now able to reflect on their actions and understand what motivates, what triggers, what inspires and what irritates. They are in control of the baggage and that, in turn, can lead to more joy and fulfilment from working relationships, and dare I say personal ones as well!
Dr. Keri Ohlrich, CEO of Abbracci Group, is an outcomefocused senior executive with over 20 years of success in the HR. Her broad areas of expertise include strategic planning, employee relations, talent management, culture change, conflict management, performance management, organizational development, workshop facilitation, and employee engagement and development. Throughout her career, Keri has held leadership positions at a variety of organizations ranging from start-up to Fortune 500 companies. Shas created and implemented HR processes, redesigned the talent function for an organization serving 25,000 global employees, led change management for a new business strategy, and overhauled the Human Resources department. Keri obtained her PhD in Human Development and Organizational Systems from Fielding Graduate University and co-authored, The Way of The HR Warrior.
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GRAND FINAL GRABS
WHAT I’VE LEARNT ABOUT PEOPLE AND PERFORMANCE UNDER PRESSURE By Wayne Goldsmith
I
’ve been fortunate to work with some outstanding coaches, athletes and teams for over a quarter of a century. And in that time, I’ve had some incredible opportunities to be part of several successful – and not so successful - campaigns at the highest level of professional and Olympic sport. I’ve learnt a lot about programs, about performance and most of all about people under pressure. It’s customary for people to wax lyrical about their sporting success stories: about how they worked hard, triumphed against the odds and then
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wrote their autobiography featuring inspirational and motivational memoirs of their journey to glory. However, from hard, difficult, painful, cold experience, I’ve found that the lessons learnt from failure at the ultimate hurdle are often more enduring – more impactful – more life-changing than holding up trophies, doing book tours and showing off medals. Here’s three times when I’ve lost – and learnt.
GRAND FINAL 1: 2004 ATHENS OLYMPIC GAMES – WOMEN’S AND MEN’S TRIATHLON FINALS.
DATE: 25TH – 26TH August 2004 LOCATION: Vouliagmeni Olympic Centre, Athens, Greece. GRAB: “Leadership is lonely and difficult but you gotta do it anyway”. STORY: I went to the 2004 Athens Olympic Games as the Section Manager of the Australian Triathlon team and as the National Performance Manager for Triathlon Australia. In the lead up to the ‘Games’, the athletes, coaches and support team were based in the South of France and like all Olympic teams, were working hard towards achieving success in Athens. During the Olympic team preparation, the National Performance Director, Bill Davoren and I faced several difficult, challenging decisions involving team strategies, training programs, equipment selection and practice routines. Bill was what I would describe as a strong leader. Incredible knowledge of the sport, considerable experience as a coach, not afraid of direct, honest, difficult discussions when required, post graduate trained in sports science – Bill had all the characteristics and capabilities required of a high performance sports program leader. Bill and I were managing a difficult situation with one of the athletes. After numerous attempts to resolve the issue, we decided that in the interest of the athlete’s well-being and the overall harmony of the team we needed to compromise on our perspectives. A few weeks later, we had to watch the athletes fall short of achieving their
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Bill and I were managing a difficult situation with one of the athletes. After numerous attempts to resolve the issue, we decided that in the interest of the athlete’s well-being and the overall harmony of the team we needed to compromise on our perspectives. goals and realising their potential in Athens, later lamenting that there was a good possibility our compromise may have led at least in part to that outcome. The morning after the Olympic final we were having coffee, reflecting on what might have been and sharing in the pain of learning from the experience. The overwhelming feeling at our table was that leadership counts – leadership matters and that it matters most when the stakes are the highest. (Bill subsequently demonstrated his considerable leadership qualities and personal resilience by committing himself to work harder than ever for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games where he led the Australian triathlon team to a Gold medal winning performance courtesy of the amazingly brilliant Emma Snowsill. He then continued his impressive sport leadership career in the AFL with the
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Western Bulldogs, St Kilda and Collingwood Football Clubs). LESSONS LEARNT: 1. Placing popularity before Performance is not leadership in high performance situations; 2. Making hard – often difficult decisions is necessary: it’s an inevitable aspect of effective leadership; 3. Do not compromise on the things you know are important or face the consequences.
GRAND FINAL 2: 2005 WALLABIES SPRING TOUR OF FRANCE, ENGLAND, IRELAND, WALES.
DATE: 12th November 2005 LOCATION: Twickenham, London, England. GRAB: “You can never give up” STORY: I was invited to travel with
Head Coach Eddie Jones, said to the coaching team, “I don’t know about you guys, but all I want to do is get out of here and start working and figuring out how we get better for next week!”. the Wallabies on their 2005 Tour of France, England, Ireland and Wales. The Wallabies lost their game versus England 26–16 and during the game suffered some significant setbacks and challenges to their set-piece play – particularly to their scrum. After the game, the players, coaches, management and staff were all feeling the loss but had to attend a traditional postgame function at the invitation of our hosts, the Rugby Football Union. Head Coach Eddie Jones, said to the coaching team, “I don’t know about you guys, but all I want to do is get out of here and start working and figuring out how we get better for next week!”. That night, none of the coaching team slept. The coaches met at 7 am the next morning all armed with new ideas,
potential solutions and strategies for helping the team to be successful at their next game. The following week, the team played it’s best game of the Tour with a 30 – 14 victory against Ireland. LESSONS LEARNT: 1. If you’re a leader or a coach in high performance sport, you have a one line position description…Find a way to win. 2. As a coach in a leadership role in a high performance team, you can’t give up: no matter what the challenges or obstacles may be: you can not give up; 3. If you’re the head coach in a high performance team, the “buck” stops with you! Learn faster, work harder, be more purposeful and deliberate in your actions and give everything you’ve got to the achievement of your goals.
GRAND FINAL 3: 2010 NRL GRAND FINAL
DATE: 3rd October 2010 LOCATION: ANZ Stadium, Sydney, NSW, Australia GRAB: “Good things don’t always happen to great people” STORY: In 2009 the Sydney Roosters, a foundation club in the National Rugby League had a disastrous season. They finished last for the first time in more than 40 years. As part of the organisation’s response to the disappointing result, they recruited a new coaching team led by Brian Smith – a highly regarded, respected head coach with considerable experience in the NRL and as his assistant, Trent Robinson, (who only a few years later would lead the organisation to a premiership title in his Rookie year as an NRL head coach). I had the opportunity to work a little with Brian, Trent and their leadership team over the 2010 season and observed their leadership and coaching first hand. There wasn’t an aspect of their leadership, planning, programming, preparation
There wasn’t an aspect of their leadership, planning, programming, preparation or performance environment that I could fault – let alone improve. Their attention to detail, their relationships with the players, their connection and honesty with each other as a coaching group was as good as it gets! They did everything they could to give themselves a winning chance.
or performance environment that I could fault – let alone improve. Their attention to detail, their relationships with the players, their connection and honesty with each other as a coaching group was as good as it gets! They did everything they could to give themselves a winning chance. I’d seen a lot of professional football teams and Olympic teams – and if any group ever “deserved” to win the title, it was this one. After collecting the wooden-spoon in 2009, the team found themselves in the 2010 NRL Grand Final: a practically unimaginable achievement in professional football of any code. Unfortunately, after leading at halftime of the Grand Final, the team was defeated by the St George Dragons, (coached by the legendary Wayne Bennett). LESSONS LEARNT: 1. Nothing guarantees success: all you can do is increase the likelihood of success; 2. You can do everything right and still not win – but that doesn’t mean you failed;
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3. It isn’t about what’s right or just or fair or what you deserve: sometimes it is what it is and you have to accept it, deal with it and move on. It is important to note, that Bill, Eddie, Brian and Trent not only demonstrated outstanding leadership and brilliant coaching in these specific situations, but their experience and their subsequently learning has only made them even greater. Now, many years after these events occurred each of these remarkable coaches is still learning, improving and leading. I’d like to thank each of you for the opportunity to work with you and to learn from you.
Summary:
Life teaches you a lot of lessons…if you’re willing and open to learning them. Sure – telling stories about summiting mountains and breaking records is brilliant but sometimes the lessons life has to teach you – the lessons you really need to learn – come from failures, disasters,
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disappointments and setbacks. Win or lose, success or failure, triumph or tragedy, always reflect on your experiences and consider what you’ve learnt from them. The fastest way to the top is to accelerate your rate of learning – and to actively embrace every learning opportunities you experience into your life.
WAYNE GOLDSMITH Mobile: + 61 414 712 074 Web: www.wgcoaching.com You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/wgcoaching Podcast Channel: https://podcasts.apple.com/ nz/podcast/sports-thoughts/id1451687616 TWITTER https://twitter.com/waynegoldcoach FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/waynegoldcoaching LINKEDIN https://www.linkedin.com/in/waynegoldsmith-coaching/ All NEW Business coaching course – Launching soon at
Personal Branding Is For Your Fans.
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eveloping a stand out personal brand as coach is exactly like preparing for grand finals, with equal measures of blood, sweat and tears. Not only does it require the same amount of effort, expertise and clearly
defined goals, there’s also the confidence needed for game day, when you step up to be seen as the leader in your industry, and of course the recovery and rebuild which is necessary to be sustainably successful. Most importantly of course, there are the fans.
By Lauren Clemett Your own tribe of followers who support and admire you through thick and thin, but also make it abundantly clear they don’t like it when you are doing something outside of your brand values. Author Coach Deborah Fay says that personal branding to her is about, “personality and USP. It is an important
Your own tribe of followers who support and admire you through thick and thin, but also make it abundantly clear they don’t like it when you are doing something outside of your brand values.
Deborah believes that one of the biggest benefits of having a strong personal brand as a coach, is that “when your brand is clear and you attract the right people, they become raving fans and sell your product and services for you.” way to articulate who I am and what I stand for and it is like flying a flag, helping my ideal target market to recognise me so that they can align themselves with me.” And she’s right. In the same way sports fans will buy and wear their team colours, waving their own flags at the grand final, as a coach in business, your fans will share your beliefs, follow you on social media and refer you to others, if you get it right. But they will find it difficult to do that if you don’t have a clearly defined mes-
sage about who you are, what you do and why you do it. You need to give them a reason to be part of your tribe. Your personal brand values are as important as your image. Deborah believes that one of the biggest benefits of having a strong personal brand as a coach, is that “when your brand is clear and you attract the right people, they become raving fans and sell your product and services for you.” And that’s exactly what coaches need, long-term, loyal clients who refer others,
Brands in sport are easily recognisable by their team colours and Business Happiness Coach Pat Armitstead agrees that it is vital your colours and imagery are understood as well as being recognised and remembered. Page 40
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giving you more time to coach and less time and effort required to attract new business. The increased turnover, as well as the loyalty she is experiencing from her clients is evidence that building a stand-out personal brand can have positive effects on a coaching business. Brands in sport are easily recognisable by their team colours and Business Happiness Coach Pat Armitstead agrees that it is vital your colours and imagery are understood as well as being recognised and remembered. She uses the monarch butterfly as her brand symbol, saying “Its distinctive image and my choice of orange and black in my stage dress has secured almost $900,000 worth of free media”. Pat even used her butterfly brand image in the “Humour in business awards”, her radio program “Joy in the moment” and even opened or closed keynotes with distinctive emerging art, including body painted artists with wings. People remember her 19 years later. Personal branding for coaches is not just about attracting the right prospects, or wearing the right colours, but also re-
taining clients and gaining a loyal fan base for your services. That way you can create an income generating platform with multiple streams of income from your coaching services to online programs, books, courses, retreats, mentoring and speaking. Fans are incredibly loyal to their teams, even if they lose and on grand finals day, we all want our team to win, but some teams stand out as consistent winners. They seem to have a discernible level of excellence or expertise. In a world seemingly full of coaches, standing out as different is absolutely vital if you want to win. Customer Retention expert Ross Keating has defined his coaching style as the ‘Client Orchardist’, harvesting profits from existing clients and its made him stand out from the rest. He says, “personal brand is my key differentiator. There are thousands of business coaches and being seen as a generalist means you are searching for problems to solve”, where Ross knows that pros-
Ross Keating confirms that, “my personal brand has given me a stronger sense of confidence as a result of the detailed business analysis and planning needed to develop the brand”.
Here are the top 4 tips to get your personal brand game day ready for grand finals so you can confidently step out in the field of coaching and stand out to attract the right fans who elevate your expertise. 1. Get clear on what you want to be known for and combine your creativity, passion and purpose with your image, expertise and credentials. You can be professional and appealing at the same time, after all, the business of coaching is human to human, not B2B or B2C. 2. Know what sort of fans you want, figure out what your shared values are and work consistently on making it easy for them to be part of and remain loyal to the brand. Give them what they want as well as what they need, be reachable, relatable and accessible and set the bar high for your own performance.
3. Don’t be afraid to differentiate, stand out or create curiosity. Our brains are overwhelmed with content and information, so having a personal brand that sets you apart from other coaches is going to attract attention and get the right conversations started. 4. Be consistent. The same image, message, colours, actions, behaviours over and over again, just like your favourite sports team. Yes, it might be boring, but if you want to have a sustainable coaching business with constant referrals, you need to step up and deliver a consistent level of communication in order to be known, liked and trusted.
No matter how important the planning side of business is, it’s not always the most exciting activity to participate in, and coaches tend to be more focused on winning fans than the management of the game. What if you considered your coaching business as your favourite grand finals team? Choosing your colours and imagery, set specific goals and mapped out a season schedule, creating a fan profile and delivering promotions to them that resonate and keep them loyal, then went out there and put in 100% everyday to win…sounds like a business plan to me, but a lot more fun!
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pects and clients are usually looking for a solution to a specific problem. Ross confirmed that by being different, he can more quickly get to the problem/solution discussion, “my brand name generates interest with the person inquiring “what is a Client Orchardist?”
Speaking Coach Trish Springsteen says branding for her is “how I stand out, who I am, making it easy for me to Get Known, Be Seen”, but also, “an unconscious, automatic, natural way for me in business and it results in people remembering me.” Page 42
and from there it enables the conversation to start”. Grand Finals winners tend to emit an air of confidence which attracts more clients, and fans love to share in that confidence. This is one of the major benefits of having a stand out personal brand as a coach. Ross Keating confirms that, “my personal brand has given me a stronger sense of confidence as a result of the detailed business analysis and planning needed to develop the brand”. The coach of a successful grand finals team of course is proud of what is achieved, but they also have personal goals to be reselected next year, or to go on to more prominent coaching roles.
As a coach with a stand out personal brand, you are doing the same thing, ensuring you are remembered, long after grand finals day. Speaking Coach Trish Springsteen says branding for her is “how I stand out, who I am, making it easy for me to Get Known, Be Seen”, but also, “an unconscious, automatic, natural way for me in business and it results in people remembering me.” Trish has created and developed a personal brand as a coach over the years which she says “goes towards credibility and trust”. As a result, Trish says that her personal brand has generated speaking gigs for her to stand out even more as the go-to expert, “people see, remember, think then ask” she says. At 8 years old Lauren was told she had ‘word blindness’ and would never be able to read or write properly, yet she went on to become a five-time bestselling author and International Award Winning Neurobranding expert, using her dyslexia disability as her greatest asset - helping entrepreneurs understand how the brain sees brands. She has over 25 years experience in brand management, and her practical guidebook to personal branding, titled “Selling You” has sold over 800 copies worldwide. The Authority Rocket training program she created has won multiple International Awards for innovation and quality and in November 2017 Lauren was awarded the International Women In Business Entrepreneur Of The Year at the prestigious Stevie Awards in New York.
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COACHING BEHIND7 Steps THEto MASK Success
By Steve Barlow
M
y first impressions of John were positive. He worked as a business advisor and came across as a self-assured professional. We got talking and he inquired about my line of work. I said I’m a change fitness coach (and then had to explain what that means). “Nope, no need of that over here”, he said, dismissively. Fortunately for both of us, we kept in regular contact over the next year or so. Periodically, he would inquire about my change fitness coaching programs. Was he just curious, or was there more to it? Then one day, out of the blue, John asked to enrol in one of the programs. I was delighted. At the beginning of the program (and again at the end) clients take a change fitness assessment. This helps me understand their needs and how to approach them (and enables us to measure progress). John’s scores revealed something interesting.
At the beginning of the coaching program, John thought he was a confident person who was successful around change. And then we began exploring the 7 psychological elements of change fitness. John thought about each one and considered how each applied to his own life. Gradually, as that happened, the scales began to drop from his eyes. www.coachinglife. com.au
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He performed well below average, and he masked it well. His outer persona was different from his inner psychological state. But John had no awareness of this mismatch (and I didn’t reveal it to him at the time). At the beginning of the coaching program, John thought he was a confident person who was successful around change. And then we began exploring the 7 psychological elements of change fitness. John thought about each one and considered how each applied to his own life. Gradually, as that happened, the scales began to drop from his eyes. About halfway through the program, John made his first breakthrough. He said to me one day, “Steve, I wasn’t interested in this program initially because I thought I had lots of change fitness. But now see that I don’t. And I can see how that has affected my life.” This was a breakthrough because John saw something about himself for the first time – not as he thought he was, but as he really was. His view of reality had
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WHAT IS CHANGE FITNESS?
It is the psychological fitness for the change process. The coaching focused on John’s capacity to succeed at change. If you don’t understand the change process, google the Transtheoretical Model of Change. expanded; he had learned new categories of thought and a new language to describe and better understand his world. John had a few more breakthroughs during the 12 weeks we spent together. The change fitness growing in his mind expressed itself in some impressive and courageous behaviours. For example, towards the end of the 12 weeks he decided to confront a family member about an issue that had long troubled him. This person, many years older than John,
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had always treated him with disrespect. His courage was rewarded with a sincere apology and a restored relationship. The final change fitness assessment score was the icing on the cake. John had trebled his initial score, putting him firmly in the ‘normal’ range and confirming (if such were necessary) that he had made significant progress. So, what happened here? What was John’s initial problem (of which he was unaware), and why did he change his selfperception and behaviour? To understand the answers to those questions, we first need to consider the focus of this coaching – John’s change fitness. What is change fitness? It is the psychological fitness for the change process. The coaching focused on John’s capacity to succeed at change. If you don’t understand the change process, google the Transtheoretical Model of Change. The point is, change is often difficult, and the most difficult parts are often not the technical parts. Let me give you an illustration.
To understand the answers to those questions, we first need to consider the focus of this coaching – John’s change fitness. What is change fitness? It is the psychological fitness for the change process.
About 5 years ago, I wanted to learn how to create a website. I had no prior knowledge of this, but I did have YouTube. I kid you not – it was one of the most painful learning experiences I have ever had in my life. I didn’t understand the strange language or the confusing ideas. Many of the YouTube videos were not very helpful. Eventually, I did master it. Technically, it really isn’t very hard, but what is hard is coping with what goes on inside your head.
I got really frustrated and discouraged. Many times, I felt like giving up. ‘I’m never going to get this’ was my thought. I really, really wanted to quit, but I also really wanted to make a website. On my own. That’s how the psychological demands of change sometimes feel. They can be exhausting, overwhelming, painful, discouraging. They make you feel like giving up and getting out of the black hole of frustration. So, what’s change fitness? It’s having the psychological fitness to overcome
all those painful feelings and negative thoughts that make you want to quit before you succeed. It’s the fitness that takes you through the pain and out the other side. And that’s why your clients need more change fitness. As do you. So, here are 7 elements of change fitness to look out for when coaching: • MOTIVATION – not just the motivation to begin change, but the motivation to keep going no matter how bad you feel and how much you want to quit. • INSIGHT – having a realistic understanding of what you are up against, what you have to work with, what you lack, who you can call on, and how long it might take. • AGENCY – having confidence in your ability to make change happen,
believing your decisions do make a difference. • VISION – seeing the future you want and remaining optimistic that you can attain it, regardless of what your current experience might be. • TRUST – being open to receive support from sources able and willing to help you succeed. • BALANCE – recognising that you are part of a larger system where your interests matter, and other people’s interests matter and time matters and you have to keep a workable balance. • BELIEFS – having worldview beliefs that empower you to be successful. Being low in any of these 7 resources makes it easier to quit when change gets hard. If you want to empower clients to push through their anxiety and become
So, what’s change fitness? It’s having the psychological fitness to overcome all those painful feelings and negative thoughts that make you want to quit before you succeed. It’s the fitness that takes you through the pain and out the other side. Page 46
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more successful at change, help them develop change fitness. Reach out if you would like some training in change fitness coaching.
STEVE BARLOW is a Director of The Change Gym and adjunct lecturer in leadership at the University of Tasmania. He is a pioneer in the field of change fitness and a co-developer of a unique change fitness coaching platform and suite of tools. Steve provides training in change fitness coaching. Steve also delivers training, assessment, and coaching to organisations in change readiness - helping them overcome disengagement and resistance and achieve greater success with change initiatives. Steve has a PhD and master’s degree in educational psychology. Contact him on steve@ thechangegym.com for information about change fitness coaching.
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