TRUST, PURPOSE, ANXIETY, IDENTITY
By Steve Barlow
“It was my first day on the job. I stood by the window, waiting for my first coaching client to arrive. I felt nervous, quite unsure of what to expect, but also mixed with a little excitement. I was unsure of how I would relate to my new client group. Would I understand their views of reality? How would I relate to their stories? How would they relate to mine? How hard will it be to make a connection? Will they think I am any good? There were no answers – yet. Time would tell. This was learning on the job. As I stood at the window, a man in his early 30’s made his way down the pathway. He was empty-handed and alone. He held his head down, as if fixed on the pathway and his feet. He seemed very intense and I wasn’t sure how to read him. I wondered, was he my first client? Then he stopped, suddenly. Something caught his attention – something on the ground. He made a quick movement, bent down, picked it up and put it in his pocket. I was curious. What did he find that interested him so? What made it important to him? Did he find some money on the ground? Or could it have been something more sinister? I felt uneasy about what he had in his pocket. To be honest, I hoped he wouldn’t walk into my room. But he did. He took a seat and looked at me. And so, the journey began.”
I tell this story because it reminds me of some of the challenges of starting a coaching relationship. How do we build trust? Why has this client come? How much awareness do they have of their needs? How will I come to understand what their needs are? What do they want to achieve? How can I help? Will we relate to each other? Will they be satisfied with who I am and how I coach? How do I feel about myself as a coach?
This article might help if you’re new to coaching, and it is still relevant to those who are old hands.
