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Vol. 2 No 36
Wednesday, November 13, 2024
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E notes
How to Avoid
Committing a Faux Pas in Friendship, Social Gatherings, and Business
Recently, the topic of decorum has increasingly come to the foreground of discussions after political matters are exhausted. I was recently speaking with a dear friend, and we found ourselves discussing how often people make assumptions about others, projecting their expectations onto them without considering individual perspectives. Here are some scenarios that illustrate these dynamics.
Scenario One:
You’re invited to a friend’s birthday dinner at a restaurant. Although it wasn’t explicitly stated, you assume that since other women are joining the celebration, everyone will chip in to cover the birthday girl’s tab. The party is wonderful, but when the check arrives, those who ordered multiple alcoholic drinks suggest splitting the bill evenly—even though some of us only had a single glass of wine. I speak up, proposing that we split the birthday girl’s tab while each guest pays for their own order. I reached this decision because I don’t drink, while others indulged in expensive wines and spirits. In my view, it’s an abuse of friendship to expect others to cover such high-end expenses. Unless a payment plan is discussed in advance, everyone should assume responsibility for their individual tab, splitting only the honoree’s costs. I’ve been in this position enough times to realize that some people run up the liquor bill with the assumption that those who “can afford it” should foot the bill for their indulgences. That’s simply not fair.
Scenario Two:
Once again, we go out for dinner and drinks. The bill arrives, and everyone looks at me, assuming I’ll cover it because I have done so on past occasions—though I always made it clear in advance when I intended to pay for drinks and dessert. This time, I hadn’t said a word about picking up the tab.
When the check came and all eyes were on me, I was annoyed. I calmly clarified, “I didn’t mention paying tonight because I’m not.”
Scenario Three:
I host a cozy dinner for a friend at my home, taking care of the flowers, food, drinks, and entertainment. It’s a mixed-gender party with people arriving solo, mingling, and some pairing off. Everyone is grown, and I make sure there’s a designated driver for those needing one. During the evening, I notice one friend missing, but think little of it; she could be anywhere around the property. Then, another guest tells me, “We have a situation.” It turns out our missing friend had passed out from drinking too much and then stepping into the sauna, causing her to overheat. We rushed her to the emergency room, thankfully with friends who stayed to manage the party while I accompanied her to the hospital.
Scenario Four:
When we were young and ambitious, we received an invitation to an exclusive party hosted by an associate in a prestigious neighborhood. Each of us arrived with a date or spouse, and we had even asked the host to extend the invitation to an acquaintance, which they graciously did. Imagine our shock and embarrassment when this acquaintance was discovered in a compromising situation in the bathroom, attracting a small crowd of guests before the host intervened. This was disrespectful, not only to our host’s generosity but also to our group as a whole.
Scenario Five:
In my professional life, I often interact with highly influential people. Occasionally, I work with professionals hired to provide services for our clients. It’s surprising, however, when these individuals try to hustle the clients—attempting to secure future business from them independently, without considering that they’re there to represent the hiring company. Such actions, overstepping
professional boundaries, could easily jeopardize future work with us. A more appropriate approach would have been to ask if introductions could be made, ensuring any potential business is conducted in a proper, respectful manner.
Problem:
In each situation, the individuals acted out of ignorance, envy, or a sense of entitlement, assuming that those with more resources should take responsibility for their indulgences. Scenarios One and Two reveal the assumption that those who make more money should cover the costs for those who cannot afford their own luxuries. If someone knows their budget, they should stick to it—or, if needed, ask for help from a friend in advance. Assuming others will pay is rude and entitled.
In Scenario Three, the guest who overindulged was inconsiderate of both the host and other guests, putting herself in danger and creating a disruption. Adults must take responsibility for their behavior; hosts would be wise not to extend further invitations to such individuals.
Scenario Four illustrates behavior that was uncouth and disrespectful, especially given that these were grown adults, not teenagers. Such actions risked embarrassing the very people who had vouched for them.
Finally, Scenario Five highlights the importance of understanding class, boundaries, and professional decorum. Professionals who overstep boundaries and inappropriately seek new business on the job risk losing future opportunities. Proper protocol would have been to request an introduction, ensuring professional courtesy is maintained.
Solution:
Observe those who are successful in the circles you wish to enter, and seek out a mentor. Ask them to share insights on the nuances and behaviors that can either make or break you in such environments.
Kai EL’ Zabar Editor-in-Chief
photo credit: Dot Ward
Chicago Urban League Gala Sells Out
hot topic After Harris’s Defeat, Democrats Search for Answers Amid Critique and Self-Reflection
It’s apparent that the Democratic Party is back at the drawing board, with many of its leaders still working to understand what went wrong. Last week, media outlets were filled with reports, analyses, and opinions from anchors, pundits, and strategists discussing the outcome. Democratic strategist David Axelrod expressed agreement with Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy’s critique of the Democratic Party following Vice President Harris’s loss to President-elect Trump in the 2024 White House race on CNN Thursday.
“The people pulling the strings in the Democratic Party, get rid of them—they’ve lost the plot. Tonight it is on the Democrats,” Portnoy said on Wednesday, adding, “They gotta look themselves in the mirror. This moral superiority complex they have, this arrogance— they need to wake up and see that.”
Axelrod, former chief strategist for President Obama’s
campaigns, aligned with Portnoy’s observations.
“I absolutely think that’s what it is,” Axelrod said during his Thursday appearance on CNN. “I don’t know if I’d put it quite that way, but I think he’s on point there.”
However, Axelrod disagreed with Portnoy’s claim that the election outcome was a “ringing endorsement” of Donald Trump, seeing it instead as a rejection of incumbency and, in part, of the attitude Portnoy described.
Following Harris’s defeat, in which she lost all seven swing states and Trump made gains in Democratic strongholds like Chicago and California, some figures, such as Sen. Bernie Sanders, argued that the party has abandoned the working class. Others, like Democratic National Committee Chair Jaime Harrison, pushed back, contending that President Biden was the “most pro-worker President of my lifetime.”
This claim may be valid in terms of actions on the
ground, as unions endorsed Harris. However, some argue that Democratic rhetoric might alienate the very people the party says it aims to support in socioeconomic advancement.
On Wednesday, Axelrod acknowledged that “racial bias” and “sexism” played a role in the election outcome. “I think we owe people respect for what they do and what they mean,” he said, noting that “blue-collar workers and people who work with their hands make this country go.” He added that these voters “feel like they are thought of as less and that their priorities are not the priorities of the Democratic Party.”
Axelrod concluded his critique by saying, “Let’s be honest: There were appeals to racism in this campaign, and there is racial bias and sexism in this country.” He also commended Trump’s team for running a “very smart” campaign.
Community Gathers at Gift of Hope Open House in Chatham Celebrating Organ Donation and
On October 29, 2024, over 100 attendees joined the inaugural Community Open House at the Gift of Hope Organ & Tissue Donor Network’s Jack D. Lynch Building in Chicago’s historic Chatham neighborhood. The event honored donor recipients, families, and the community, celebrating the life-saving work of Gift of Hope and the partnerships that promote health and education on Chicago’s South Side.
Gift of Hope Organ & Tissue Donor Network, a nonprofit coordinating organ and tissue donations in Illinois and northwest Indiana, has saved over 24,000 lives since its founding in 1986. President and CEO Dr. Harry Wilkins highlighted the organization’s mission to end the waitlist for organ transplants, noting that many of those in need are from communities of color.
“Currently, over 100,000 people are on the waitlist for life-saving organs,” Wilkins said. “Our goal is simple: to save as many lives as possible.”
The Jack D. Lynch Building is now home to several organizations working to improve community health and education. Executive Vice President Marion Shuck thanked supporters, including Congressman Danny K. Davis, who helped secure funding for the building.
“Today, we celebrate the home of Gift of Hope and our partners who share our commitment to community health,” she said.
Strengthening Community Through Partnerships
Each organization with a permanent presence in the building plays a unique role in the community:
1. Gift of Hope Community Foundation
Led by Executive Director Audrena Spence, the Foundation supports donor families, offers educational programs, and raises funds to continue Gift of Hope’s life-saving mission. The Foundation provides a space for community healing and remembrance.
2. National Kidney Foundation of Illinois
Under CEO Jacqueline Burgess-Bishop, the Foundation focuses on preventing kidney disease, which disproportionately affects communities of color. Through education and support initiatives, they work to empower those at risk.
3. Chicago State University (CSU)
Represented by President Zaldwaynaka “Z” Scott, JD, CSU provides workforce training and wellness programs, supporting economic mobility and educational equity. CSU’s involvement brings career resources to community members of all ages.
4. South Side Healthy Community Organization
CEO Kimberly Hobson shared the organization’s mission to improve health outcomes across Chicago’s South Side by expanding healthcare access and outreach. Their partnership with Gift of Hope seeks to address health disparities and support community well-being.
Honoring a Legacy of Service
Jack Lynch, retired executive and former senior ad-
Health Partnerships
visor of Gift of Hope, spoke about the organization’s impact since its founding in 1987. “We never believed in a ‘we can’t do it’ mentality,” Lynch said. “Together, we’ve built one of the most successful organ donor programs focused on the African American community.” His words underscored a legacy of resilience, growth, and service.
In closing, Spence thanked Alderman Michelle A. Harris and Congressman Jonathan Jackson’s office for their continued support. “This building holds so much history,” Spence said. “We look forward to making history of our own here— saving lives and impacting our community.”
The open house concluded with a tour of the Jack D. Lynch Building, symbolizing hope, health, and opportunity for Chatham and beyond.
For more information on organ and tissue donation, visit Gift of Hope at www.giftofhope.org.
Jack D. Lynch (center) surrounded by Nikki Taylor, representative from the office of Congressman Danny K. Davis (IL 7th District); Jackie Burgess Bishop, Marion Shuck, Alderwoman Michelle Harris (8th Ward), Chicago State University President Zaldwaynaka (“Z”) Scott, JD, Dr. Sonja Feist-Price, Kimberly Hobson, Audrena Spence.
This Ain’t Our Problem
More importantly, it ain’t our fault. Once again, this country has called upon the descendants of the formerly enslaved to save it from its tendency to stray from its stated ideals. And once again, the descendants of the formerly enslaved have stepped up, providing overwhelming voting support for those ideals. Yet, once again, much of the country has resisted, casting votes against those very principles. Let’s be clear: the descendants of the formerly enslaved include the Afro-Latin community as well, who bear the same brown skin as those descended from slavery.
So, this ain’t our problem. Fortunately—or unfortunately—the system under which we were forced to live,
after that “free” transatlantic cruise you gave our ancestors and the Jim Crow conditions our recent ancestors endured, has built us up with skills of resilience. We taught ourselves to turn discarded food into delicacies. We learned to create opportunities where none existed, to make something from nothing, to work long and hard and make the best of nearly anything. You didn’t. So when the system turns on you, it’s a lot harder to navigate. This ain’t our fault, and it ain’t our problem. We will survive and thrive because we always have, to varying degrees.
Given your own deficiencies, I offer this advice. You have an opportunity to make change through fiscal rebellion—purposeful, deliberate economic resistance— because most lasting change begins with some form of rebellion. My advice to you: engage in fiscal rebellion. Spend your dollars with intent. Support and empower the communities that have stood for this country’s ide-
The A.I. The answer.is...
In today’s sociopolitical environment, we hear a flood of opinions, stances, positions, projected fears, assumptions, and misinformation through various media platforms, often delivered with a sense of pomposity. These messages are intended to communicate the socio-economic and political goals of those promoting them. But we must ask: who are these people? What qualifies them to speak on the subject? Why are they delivering this message? How will it affect me, my community, or our nation—and what are they gaining from it?
Words matter because words have meaning, and irresponsible messaging, if not directed properly, can do more harm than good. We must understand that ignorance is not bliss. While we can’t stop the spread of loosely told “truths” spewed daily, we can seek facts by pursuing answers. First, ask: how do these words resonate with you? More specifically, how does knowing (or not knowing) their meanings impact your ability to comprehend the essential information in a battle for truth? For example, when you first heard the term “alternative truths,” did it prompt a question, or did it leave you with a disturbing feeling? This discomfort from things that
don’t sound quite right is your inner self nudging you to dig deeper. Ask yourself: what is the definition of “truth,” and what does “alternative” imply in this context? If you were 12 years old, what would you think an “alternative” to fact is? Are truths really based on facts? This line of questioning is crucial.
Seeking truth, facts, and reality is a responsibility we must accept, especially as we face a generation in which critical thinking skills seem less emphasized. Millennials and the generation that follows are often the products of an education system that has not adequately fostered critical thinking—a skill essential for developing a mature mind and fulfilling adult responsibilities. Although many parents address this within their homes, our public schools are struggling to produce young people ready to compete on a global scale.
Let’s explore a few key terms relevant to today’s sociopolitical dialogue. These terms have been widely discussed in the recent presidential campaign and frequently appear across media platforms.
Misogyny
Definition: Misogyny is a deep-seated prejudice, contempt, or hatred specifically directed toward women. It often manifests
als. Find a Black-owned grocery store, and drive that extra distance to shop there. If you’re buying a car, ask for a Black salesperson, and walk out if there isn’t one. Redirect your charitable donations to an HBCU, where many of the leaders who mobilize Black voters are educated. Attend and tithe at a Black church. Move your money to a Black-owned bank.
Stop spending your hard-earned dollars with those who don’t share your ideals; consider it a form of fiscal resistance. By economically empowering those who consistently support your values and withholding resources from those who don’t, you’ll make a stronger impact. We’ll likely be back to assist again in 2026 and 2028, but to make that support even stronger, engage in fiscal rebellion against those who oppose our shared goals.
Otherwise, stand up and take your lumps.
CNW Staff Report
in beliefs and actions that devalue women, enforcing the idea that they are inferior or should be subservient to men.
Example: An environment where women’s contributions are routinely dismissed or where abusive attitudes and actions toward women are normalized reflects misogyny.
Chauvinism
Definition: Chauvinism originally referred to excessive and irrational patriotism but has evolved to describe an attitude of superiority or dominance toward a particular group. In gender contexts (often termed “male chauvinism”), it refers to the belief that men are superior to women and that traditional gender roles should be strictly adhered to.
Example: Male chauvinism might manifest as the belief that men should always hold leadership roles, while women should stick to domestic or “supportive” positions.
Hyper-Masculinity
Definition: Hyper-masculinity is the exaggeration of stereotypical male behaviors, including a focus on physical strength, emotional stoicism, and aggression. It often glorifies dominance, control, and a disdain for anything perceived as “weak”
or feminine.
Example: A hyper-masculine attitude might reject empathy or cooperation as “weak” or “feminine,” emphasizing that “real men” should display toughness, competitiveness, and aggression.
How They Differ
Focus: Misogyny specifically targets women, chauvinism asserts a hierarchy (often favoring men over women in a gendered context), and hyper-masculinity elevates certain behaviors as inherently “masculine” while devaluing those seen as “feminine.”
Expression: Misogyny is an attitude against women, chauvinism is a belief in male superiority, and hyper-masculinity is an exaggeration of stereotypical male traits.
How They Are Related
All three can reinforce each other: misogyny devalues women, chauvinism reinforces male dominance, and hyper-masculinity elevates traits that exclude or demean women.
Together, they contribute to social structures and attitudes that uphold patriarchy, restrict gender roles, and justify unequal treatment based on gender.
GIRL GET UP! A MOTIVATIONAL NOTE TO BLACK WOMEN WHO BELIEVE THAT ALL IS LOST
Aweek has passed since Decision 2024, and for many Black women who supported Harris and Walz, the pain and disappointment feels especially deep. This election has left us carrying a unique weight—a blend of sadness, anger, and exhaustion that’s hard to shake. I understand it’s tempting to stay in this space of hurt, but I’m here to tell you: it’s time to get up. You did not get everything you wanted from this election—nationally or locally. But because you are a Black woman, resilience is woven into your very being. While others may have the luxury of sitting in their sorrow, wallowing in the loss, we don’t have that same space or time. Our struggles have always required us to rise.
Your feelings are valid. Feel, process, and honor them because they’re real. But I want you to remember that now is not the time to stay down; it’s the time to activate. Do you recall that sermon years ago when Bishop T.D. Jakes told you to “Run, girl, run”? I’m not tell-
Laura Miller Managing Editor
ing you to run this time; I’m telling you to stand up. Now is not the time to feel pitiful, it is the time to get activated. Activated for yourself, poised, and prepared for whatever comes politically, and what is to come in 2025.
One of my elders always says, “Honey, you gots to be prepared.” She says this about things as simple as putting your clothes out the night before, and things as serious as preparing for the end of your life. So whatever we are preparing for, whether it’s the media blitz of cabinet appointments or other challenges ahead, remember this: you are firmly planted on the ground. You can THRIVE if you choose to. Barriers can be overrun, glass ceilings can still be broken. So be prepared and stand up.
Black women, we must stand up, not just for ourselves but for the future we believe in. We don’t have all the answers, but we need to be ready.
As the next wave of announcements, appointments, and political changes comes, remember: you are grounded, strong, and ready. Take a moment to gather yourself, breathe deep, and stand up. This is your time. Stand up, Black woman. Rise. Thrive.
Laura Miller Managing Editor
La Shawn K. Ford Illinois’ Champion of Unity and Equity
La Shawn K. Ford’s life and career have been defined by an unwavering commitment to unity, equity, and public service. Elected to represent Illinois’ 8th District in 2006, Ford has built a record of legislative accomplishments reflecting his mission to create a fairer society. Drawing from his varied background as an educator, real estate broker, and community leader, he brings a people-centered perspective to the Illinois House of Representatives, representing the interests of Austin, Oak Park, and a handful of West Suburbs. Ford believes that his purpose in office is to lift up those most often overlooked in the system. Ford’s journey to public office has been anything but conventional. From aspiring to become an Emergency Medical Technician/EMT to studying in seminary school, teaching social studies in Chicago Public Schools, and founding a real estate brokerage, Ford has spent his life serving his community in various roles. He entered public service to make a difference on a larger scale—an ambition that has only grown stronger since he began his career in the Illinois House.
The People-Driven Path to Public Office
La Shawn K. Ford’s early career aspirations set the tone for a life devoted to service. Raised in Chicago, Ford’s initial dream of becoming an EMT was driven by the idea of directly helping people in moments of crisis. Seminary school soon followed as he explored a different path of service, and eventually, he began teaching social studies in Chicago Public Schools. Ford’s role as an educator, however, was more than just a job; it was a fulfillment of calling to make a difference in the lives of young people, to help them navigate a system he knew was stacked against them. “Teaching was never just a job—it was a mission to help young people understand the world around them and empower them to succeed despite the odds,” he said. But Ford’s time in CPS schools revealed to him just how much inequity affected his students—issues he knew one person alone couldn’t resolve.
After his teaching years, Ford his interest shifted to real estate, opening a brokerage that prioritized integrity and stability for first-time homebuyers, especially those from underserved backgrounds in an effort to make a difference on another level in the lives of others. His business grew rapidly, but
he maintained a people-first approach. “Your desire is our pleasure,” became his brokerage’s motto, resonating with clients who sought security in an unpredictable market. In an era of risky subprime loans, Ford’s emphasis on steady investments over quick profits meant that many of his clients avoided the crisis that devastated others. His role as a broker opened his eyes further to the impacts of policies on property taxes, development, and economic opportunity—and that experience is what pushed him into politics. In 2006, Ford ran for the Illinois House, winning a seat and taking his “people-first” approach into state government.
Legislative Achievements and Policy Focus
Since taking office, La Shawn K. Ford has proven himself as a tireless legislator, co-sponsoring thousands of bills and authoring hundreds more, covering areas from criminal justice reform to healthcare and housing equity. Ford’s legislative priorities underscore his commitment to equity across the board. “Equity in schools, equity in jobs and contracts, equity in city services—these are not just talking points. They’re necessities,” he states. Ford has made it clear that these issues aren’t merely part of his agenda; they are the foundation of his work. His vision for Chicago involves ensuring that resources and opportunities are available to every neighborhood, from the west side of Chicago to the western suburbs.
In his work to address systemic inequities, Ford has prioritized funding for public schools, advocating for equitable budgets that allow underserved schools to thrive, not merely survive. His drive for educational equity reflects his time in the classroom, where he saw firsthand the gaps between what students needed and what resources were available. For Ford, equity is more than an ideal—it’s a practical requirement for improving the well-being of Chicago’s families. His policy work extends beyond education to include health and environmental equity, too. Ford has spoken about the disparity in mental health services between his district’s urban areas and neighboring suburbs. “The opioid crisis impacts black and white communities alike, but in the western suburbs, people have access to recovery resources,” Ford explains, emphasizing how the lack of mental health infrastructure on Chicago’s west side has hindered families from dealing with the underlying issues of addiction. He also points out something as simple as the lack of tree cover in urban neighborhoods, noting how areas like Austin lack the greenery that makes suburban Oak Park more liv-
“Equity is essential, but so is recognizing each other in a shared struggle” La Shawn K. Ford
able. “Asthma is a major problem on the west side,” Ford notes, “and lack of trees is part of that—our streets get hotter, our energy bills are higher, and air quality suffers”.
Standing Firm on Controversial Policies
Ford’s passion for addressing difficult issues is evident in his push for an overdose prevention site in Chicago, a project he believes is crucial in tackling the opioid epidemic humanely and practically. The proposed site would provide a safe, supervised space for those struggling with addiction, connecting them with resources while helping reduce overdose fatalities. Though controversial, Ford remains undeterred: “It’s about saving lives and creating pathways to recovery,” he says. He points out that such sites have seen success in cities like New York, where overdose prevention initiatives have helped reduce fatalities. His advocacy on this issue shows his commitment to exploring realistic solutions to complex public health issues, even if they’re not always popular.
In addition to harm reduction, Ford has fought continuously for formerly incarcerated persons with re-entry. A new initiative was recently announced to give individuals with prior felony convictions the opportunity to serve in local government. Inspired by the belief that “we are a country of second chances,” the initiative aims to lift the ban that currently prevents people with felony records from running for office. “If people have paid their dues, they should be able to serve,” Ford insists. His advocacy in this area aligns with his principles of redemption and unity and emphasizes his belief in building a more inclusive democracy.
One of Ford’s most defining principles is his call for unity. Representing a district that spans inner-city neighborhoods and affluent suburbs, he views his position as an opportunity to bridge divides across race, income, and geography. “We all face challenges, but we have different resources to deal with them,” he says. Ford frequently discusses the importance of acknowledging each other’s struggles to work toward shared solutions. He’s concerned about the growing separation between communities, an issue he believes has been exacerbated by political polarization and competing agendas. Reflecting on the divisions he observes in Chicago, Ford sees unity not as a political ideal but as a practical necessity to tackle issues like crime, health disparities, and education gaps.
Ford has spoken candidly about how social unity is threatened not just by racial divides, but by tensions between migrant and Chicago resident communities. He describes encounters where communities clash over jobs and resources, revealing the deeper insecurities that complicate progress. “Equity is essential, but so is recognizing each other in a shared struggle,” Ford notes, emphasizing the importance of fostering understanding between groups, not division.
Despite the personal and political challenges of advocating for unity, Ford believes it’s a message worth pursuing. He acknowledges that unity is difficult to achieve but insists that it’s the only way forward for his district and the city at large. “If we can’t address these issues together, we can’t fix them at all,” he says. He
regards his role as not just about representing his constituents’ interests but challenging the political status quo if it means bringing people closer together.
The Future of La Shawn K. Ford’s Vision
As Ford looks to the future, he is candid about the challenges ahead. He knows that the work of creating equity and unity is far from complete and is prepared to continue pushing for systemic change on behalf of Illinois’ 8th District. Reflecting on past social movements, Ford is aware that lasting change depends on visibility, public awareness, and relentless advocacy. “People have to see the change to understand it,” he says, citing the impact of the civil rights movement and recent calls for police reform. To Ford, unity, and equity aren’t just ideas—they’re actionable goals that require commitment from all sides.
Ford’s career stands as a testament to what it means to be a true public servant. From his days in the classroom to his work in the state legislature, he has held every role with an unyielding commitment to justice, unity, and the well-being of his community. As he moves forward, he hopes to inspire others to approach public service with the same focus and resolve.
In a political landscape often marked by division and gridlock, La Shawn K. Ford offers a vision of unity and accountability, grounded in practical solutions and a genuine concern for the people he represents. Through his legislation, community engagement, and advocacy, Ford remains committed to building a future based on equity, compassion, and shared purpose.
Unity Amid Division: Building Bridges Across Chicago
love & Relationships
Bills, Bills, Bills
The Price of Power in Relationships
Let’s dive into a topic that’s real and relevant for many of us: the power dynamics in relationships, especially when one partner is bringing home more bacon than the other. You know how it goes—sometimes, one person’s success can shift the balance in a relationship, making it crucial to navigate that shift with grace, respect, and a whole lot of love.
The Success Spectrum
First, let’s acknowledge that success comes in many forms. It might be financial, professional, or personal. But when it comes to those dollar signs, we often see that traditional “breadwinner” narrative creeping in, and that can stir up some complex feelings.
Statistics to Consider
• According to a 2021 report from the Pew Research Center, nearly 29% of married couples in the U.S. have a wife who earns more than her husband—a significant increase from previous decades.
• A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples where one partner earns significantly more than the other often report higher levels of conflict and dissatisfaction compared to couples with more equal earnings.
In a conversation clip we’re referencing, Tia Mowry (The Game, Sister, Sister) discusses with her former co-star Jackée Harry the concept of “having it all” as it related to Mowry’s ex-husband, Cory Hardrict. Harry remarks, “If one partner makes more money or is more successful, it’s a gap that is so hard, and it can’t work out. It can’t have competition; it just does not work. And you can’t stop your career because you want to even it out.” Mowry reflects on her own balancing act, sharing that working, being a mother, and dating right now feels like “a lot to juggle,” wondering aloud if she might be repeating past mistakes from her marriage. This moment isn’t unique to Mowry— her experiences reflect a broader issue, often discussed on social media, around "going half." People frequently debate splitting bills, household responsibilities, and the idea of “bringing something to the table.” According to recent social research, a strong majority of Americans (77%) believe that children fare best when both parents equally prioritize careers and home duties, showing a notable shift from traditional views. Social platforms highlight how, in marriages where wives are the primary earners, the distribution of household responsibilities often remains unequal. Husbands are found to spend more time on leisure while wives handle more of the caregiving and housework—even when they’re also the primary earners. This imbalance creates tension for many couples navigating modern relationships.
The Idea of “Having It All”
er, and being open to change. Maybe you won’t have it all at once, but with communication and teamwork, you can create a life that feels fulfilling and harmonious.
Understanding
the Shift
When one partner earns significantly more, it can lead to feelings of power imbalance. The one making more might unintentionally take on a dominant role, while the other could feel like they’re walking on eggshells to maintain their self-esteem and independence. The key here is to recognize that love isn’t measured in dollars—it’s about support, understanding, and collaboration. As some have pointed out, it’s rare for anyone to have everything “clicking on all cylinders” all at once. But as Grant Cardone suggests in his book on success, if you put 10x the effort into all areas of life—spirituality, finances, relationships, career—you’ll create a buffer, ensuring not everything collapses simultaneously.
Communication is Key
Now, let’s talk about the idea of “having it all.” It’s something many of us aspire to—success in our careers, fulfilling relationships, personal happiness, and maybe even a bit of peace and quiet. But here’s the kicker: we don’t really know if “having it all” is possible. Life is complex, like a well-crafted R&B ballad, with unexpected twists and turns that can leave us breathless. But you know what? It’s absolutely worth a try! Striving for a well-rounded life—chasing your dreams while nurturing your relationship—is a beautiful journey in itself. It’s about setting goals, supporting each oth-
If you’re feeling a certain way about your partner’s success, don’t hold it in like a kettle on the stove just waiting to whistle. Open up that dialogue. Share your feelings, fears, and aspirations. A supportive partner will want to hear you out and work together to ensure that financial success doesn’t overshadow the emotional connection you share.
Celebrating Each Other’s Wins
Instead of letting financial differences create distance, take a moment to celebrate each other's successes. If your partner lands a big deal or gets a promotion, hype them up like they just dropped the hottest single of the year! And when you achieve your goals—big or small—allow
them to celebrate you too. This creates an atmosphere of mutual respect and admiration, reinforcing that you’re both on the same team.
Redefining Roles and Expectations
It’s time to break free from traditional roles. Just because one partner may be more commercially successful doesn’t mean they should take on all the financial responsibilities. Discuss your expectations openly. Maybe you split bills differently, or perhaps one person manages the household while the other works. Find what works for you as a couple and redefine those roles together.
Building a Power Couple Mentality
Instead of viewing success as a competition, embrace the idea of being a power couple. You both bring something unique to the table, and together, you can amplify each other’s strengths. Whether it’s supporting one another’s dreams, collaborating on projects, or just being a shoulder to lean on, remember that your relationship is a partnership above all else.
Love Conquers All
Love and respect are the true currencies of any relationship. So, whether you’re the one raking in the dough or just starting to find your footing, remember that it’s all about balance, teamwork, and open lines of communication. Let’s celebrate each other’s journeys together and create a rich, fulfilling, and empowering love.
So, what are your thoughts on this? How do you navigate success in your relationships? Let’s chat about it!
Erick Johnson Special Contributor from the Chicago Crusader
Chicago’s Black Press Urges Mayor to Fire Officers with Oath Keepers Ties city news
Publishers and owners of Chicago’s Black media organizations have united to urge Mayor Brandon Johnson to keep his campaign promise by firing Chicago police officers affiliated with extremist groups, particularly the right-wing Oath Keepers and Proud Boys.
Chicago’s Black Press, comprising local print, broadcast, and digital outlets, believes the recent surge in mass racist texts signals future targeting of Black communities, particularly in a city where the police department has a history of accusations involving misconduct, racial profiling, and heavy-handed tactics in Black neighborhoods.
With Donald Trump set to assume office in January, concerns are mounting that Black and minority communities may face intensified targeting from hate groups. In the hours after Trump’s election on November 5, Black individuals across U.S. colleges and workplaces received racist text messages, urging them to “pick cotton” at the “nearest plantation.”
The FBI has confirmed its awareness of these texts and said it is coordinating with the U.S. Department of Justice, encouraging recipients to report such incidents to local authorities. However, it remains unclear who orchestrated the mass texts, what motivated them, or how they obtained Black residents' contact information.
This week, owners and publishers of The Chicago Crusader, The Chicago Defender, The Chicago News Weekly, WVON 1690, N’DIGO Magazine, and TBT News sent a letter to Mayor Johnson urging him to dismiss eight police officers who remain on the force despite their known affiliations with the Oath Keepers, an extremist group involved in the January 6, 2021, Capitol insurrection. Some of these officers have faced accusations of racist policing by community members.
The officers in question are Michael Nowacki, Anthony Keany, Alexander Kim, Alberto Retamozo, Bienvenido Acevedo, Dennis Mack, Matthew
Bracken, and John Nicezyporuk. Following an investigation by the CPD’s Bureau of Internal Affairs (BIA), which concluded in the spring with minimal transparency, none of these officers were disciplined.
During his mayoral campaign, Johnson, whose victory was largely supported by Black voters in a heated runoff against Paul Vallas, promised to fire officers with ties to hate groups. However, he has yet to fulfill this pledge.
The Southern Poverty Law Center, Anti-Defamation League, Aldermen Matthew Martin (47th), Chris Taliaferro (29th), and Reverend Ira Acree have joined calls for Johnson to terminate the officers. Last weekend, North Side community groups and activists amplified their demands, expressing distrust in the police department’s internal investigation.
“The OIG’s office has compared this scandal to a case from the 1960s when a CPD officer was dismissed for being a KKK member,” said Grace Patino of the Chicago Alliance Against Racist and Political Repression, one of the event’s organizers. “Make no mistake—nothing about this situation is normal or should feel normal.”
In October, the civil rights group Color of Change and others sent a letter to the mayor, asserting that the CPD investigation “was a sham.” Johnson, however, has remained silent on the issue, prompting the Black Press to speak out. In their letter, Chicago’s Black Press expressed deep concern about officers with ties to the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys remaining active in the city’s police force. “With the divisive state of our country and the 2017 U.S. Justice Department investigation documenting a pattern of civil rights violations by Chicago officers against Black and minority residents, this city cannot afford officers affiliated with hate groups,” the letter stated. “And with the recent election of President-elect Donald Trump and the wave of racist texts sent to Blacks across the country, the urgency in Chicago is even greater.”
Last spring, Johnson and Chicago Police Superintendent Larry Snelling resisted calls to discipline or dismiss the officers, despite a push from Chicago Inspector General Deborah Witzburg to reopen the investigation. When Johnson and Snelling refused, Witzburg asked state regulators to bar the officers from
the force after investigators uncovered their extremist ties.
The investigation into these eight officers began in October 2023 after WBEZ, the Chicago Sun-Times, and the Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project published reports on the misconduct records of police officers connected to anti-government groups, highlighting the department's apparent tolerance for extremism. In July, the Inspector General’s office reviewed the BIA investigation and found it “suffered from deficiencies materially affecting its outcome,” recommending a reopening of the case. Witzburg further called for a City Hall task force to address the problem.
The Inspector General’s office stated that police leadership could have cited the eight officers for breaching CPD’s code against actions that bring “discredit upon the department.” In its letter, the Black Press noted, “Since you took office, Chicago’s Black Press has watched as you resisted calls from the Inspector General, Black leaders, and other or-
ganizations urging you to do the right thing. We were disappointed and remained silent when you and your police superintendent closed the investigation without disciplining the eight officers. We fully support Witzburg’s demand that the investigation be reopened.”
Last year, Johnson faced criticism for his response to calls to fire Chicago police officer Robert Bakker. Bakker was initially suspended for three days after CPD internal investigators uncovered inconsistencies in his statements regarding his association with the Proud Boys, an openly racist group with extremist views. Bakker admitted to participating in Proud Boys group chats, which the police department verified. Under pressure from civil rights organizations, Bakker received a 120-day suspension and returned to duty in February 2023.
The Proud Boys previously pledged their support to Trump. In 2020, Trump sparked outrage by failing to denounce the Proud Boys during a presidential debate with Democratic candidate Joe Biden.
entertainment
George Duke Tribute Concert Brings Generations Together to Celebrate Music Legend and Support Chicago’s Youth
The upcoming "Generation to Generation: A George Duke Tribute" concert is set to captivate jazz lovers and community supporters alike on November 30, 2024, at the Loews Chicago O’Hare Hotel. This special event will honor the life and legacy of George Duke, a jazz icon known for his groundbreaking work in jazz fusion and his timeless hits like "Dukey Stick," "Brazilian Love Affair," and "Sweet Baby." More than just a tribute, the concert reflects the personal and musical bond Duke shared with Michael Manson, a renowned jazz bassist and Executive Director of the Musical Arts Institute (MAI), who had the honor of collaborating with Duke on multiple projects over the years.
Reflecting on their relationship, Manson shared, “George taught me so much, not just about music but about the artistry of it—how to dig deeper into the notes, to play with heart. This concert is our way of sharing that part of George with Chicago.”
The tribute will be performed by Manson and artists from the Musical Arts Institute, a Chicago-based nonprofit
dedicated to providing high-quality music education to underserved youth on the city’s South Side. Since its founding,
MAI has taught thousands of students aged 7 to 17 and partners with 17 Chicago Public Schools, bringing music to neighborhoods where resources are often limited.
“We want this concert to inspire everyone who attends, especially the young people,” Manson added.
“George’s music speaks to every generation, and our goal is to keep that message alive and relevant.”
Proceeds from ticket sales will directly support MAI’s mission, helping them continue to serve Chicago’s youth.
The concert will be family-friendly, with free tickets available for students and special gifts included with adult ticket purchases.
Discounted hotel accommodations will
be offered at the Loews Chicago O’Hare Hotel for attendees.
For more information and to purchase tickets, visit SmoothChicago.com or call (312) 725-0740. Join the Musical Arts Institute in honoring the legacy of George Duke and supporting a cause dedicated to enriching young lives through music. This event promises an evening of soul-stirring jazz, unity, and inspiration—a true bridge from one generation to the next.
The Voice Of Black Chicago
CNW Staff Report Judith Jamison is Wading in the Water
Judith Ann Jamison was an American dancer and choreographer, often described as a "rock star" in the world of dance. Known as the principal dancer and favorite of Alvin Ailey, founder of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, she later served as the company’s artistic director from 1989 until 2011, after which she became its artistic director emerita.
Born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in either 1941 or 1943, Jamison passed away on November 9, 2024, at the age of 81 in New York City, where she had made her home. She never remarried after her divorce from Puerto Rican-born Miguel Goudreau, also a dancer and instructor with Alvin Ailey. Goudreau, known for his solo role in "The Prodigal Prince," passed away in 1996 at 49. Together, he and Judith made a remarkable dance partnership during their marriage from 1972 to 1974.
Jamison, standing a commanding 5 feet 10 inches, carried herself with grace that made her appear at ease. Her impeccable posture and presence were testament to her artistry. She earned her international acclaim for being an embodiment of grace, humanity, and humility, shedding a radiant light reflective of her brilliance. Her contributions to dance will live on through her work.
In addition to her tenure with the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, Jamison performed with The Jamison Project, Harkness Ballet, and the American Ballet Theater. As a dancer, she solidified her place in the dance world with her iconic performance of Cry, a 17-minute solo choreographed by Ailey and dedicated to “all Black women everywhere—especially our mothers.” In a 2008 NPR interview, Jamison explained that the piece resonates deeply because it tells a singular, universal story. “It had nothing to do with how high I was raising my legs or how many pirouettes I was doing,” she said. “It had to do with inner-self and vulnerability, and being able to share that vulnerability and for you to recognize it as something human.”
Her 1993 memoir, "Dancing Spirit," detailed a childhood rich in cultural experiences—visits to museums, zoos, operas, and theaters. At six, she began studying at the Judimar School of Dance. In 1965, she joined the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater and became one of the most recognizable talents in dance. Though she briefly left to start her own company, she eventually returned, succeeding Ailey as the company’s artistic director.
Under Jamison's leadership, the company thrived. In 2005, the company opened the Joan Weill Center for Dance, a physical
space and permanent home for the Ailey company. Jamison told NPR she had never thought such an achievement would be possible, saying, “We were just out there trying to keep the flame alive.”
Alvin Ailey’s timeless masterpiece "Revelations" remains one of the most wellknown and respected ballets in dance history, even recognized by a U.S. Senate resolution. Jamison was instrumental in presenting Revelations, helping to sustain its enduring popularity. This suite, using African-American spirituals, song-sermons, gospel songs, and blues, delves deeply into the experiences of grief and joy in the soul.
Jamison also created numerous celebrated works, including "Divining" (1984), "Forgotten Time" (1989), "Hymn" (1993), "HERE... NOW." (commissioned for the 2002 Cultural Olympiad), "Love Stories" (2004, with additional choreography by Robert Battle and Rennie Harris), and "Among Us (Private Spaces: Public Places)" (2009). She performed her swan song in 2011 before stepping down as artistic director.
Jamison has inspired countless young dancers, men and women alike, who aspired to a professional dance career. Since her passing, friends, family, and fans have shared tributes, including a heartfelt ac-
knowledgment from former First Lady Michelle Obama.
Upon stepping down as artistic director in 2011, Jamison expressed confidence in the company’s future. “I am fearlessly reaching into the future,” she told NPR—a vision she leaves for the next generation of dancers to carry forward.
Jack Mitchell Photography of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre Collection is jointly owned by the National Museum of African American History and Culture, Smithsonian Institution, and the Alvin Ailey Dance Foundation.
Food & Wine
Honey Mustard Pork Chops
Looking for a delicious recipe that’s easy on the budget? Craving that classic, comforting flavor but with a healthy twist? Look no further! This honey mustard pork chops recipe will win over your family, and they’ll crown you the best cook ever. The secret, of course, lies in the mouthwatering glaze that you baste the chops in.
Simple homemade sauces (or glazes) are a secret weapon in the kitchen. They’re the easiest way to turn a basic piece of meat into something truly irresistible. Case in point: this honey mustard sauce—a mix of honey, Dijon mustard, a touch of mayo for creaminess, and a few spices. Spread this sauce on your pan-seared pork chops, bake them, and finish with a quick broil. The aroma alone is enough to make mouths water, and the creamy, caramelized honey-mustard flavor is a taste sensation.
Baking Time May Vary
Cooking pork chops requires care. Overbake them, and they’ll turn out tough and dry. To avoid this, pay close attention to the cooking time. Use your cooking intuition! The estimated bake time for these pork chops is a general guide, but the timeline to reach the internal temperature of 145ºF can vary based on a few factors:
Thickness: Thicker pork chops need more time.
Searing time: The longer they’re seared, the less time they need in the oven.
What to Serve with Honey Mustard Pork Chops
Pair these pork chops with roasted Brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes. Since the veggies cook at a different temperature than the pork chops, bake them first, then lower the oven temperature for the pork chops. Other great options include roasted carrots, lemon garlic asparagus, and seasoned rice (try a mix of brown and wild rice).
1. Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Prepare the honey mustard sauce by stirring together the mayonnaise, Dijon, honey, garlic powder, paprika, salt, and freshly cracked black pepper.
2. Use a paper towel to dry off the pork chops, then season each side with a pinch of salt and freshly cracked pepper. Heat the cooking oil in a heavy skillet over medium-high heat. When the skillet is hot, add two pork chops at a time and cook until golden brown on each side (about 3 minutes per side). Place the browned pork chops in a casserole dish (slight overlap is okay).
3. Smear the honey mustard sauce over both sides of the pork chops in the casserole dish. Bake for about 30 minutes for 1-inch thick chops or about 20 minutes for ¾-inch thick chops, or until the internal temperature reaches 145ºF. For extra browning, switch the oven to broil and broil the chops for 3-5 minutes until golden brown and bubbly.
Serve hot and enjoy. Happy Chops!
Cashmere, Puffers, Shearling UGGs, Black Socks, and Yellow Shades
American fashion model Gigi Hadid, the 2016 Model of the Year, knows her way around the world of style, and dressing for the cold doesn’t keep her from staying model-perfect. Winter doesn’t have to mean drab, and Hadid is showing us how it’s done. On November 7, she was front and center in the latest campaign for Guest in Residence, her cashmere label launched in 2022.
This campaign marks her first winter collection of 2024, featuring looks that are cozy, whimsical, and maximalist—qualities Hadid makes look fun, vibrant, and functional. The collection is dominated by playful mixed prints and matched patterns, creating a unique spin with "styling mathematics." In several shots, Hadid layers pieces in twos, like two beanies stacked on top of each other in one look and two differently colored sweaters in another.
Nostalgic for some, her choice to bring back UGGs, a “middle school favorite,” gives them a fresh relevance— she’s made them cool again!
Winter Whites
WE
MADE QUILTED PUFFERS.”
Her Unexpected Surprise
The most unexpected and perhaps most exciting piece of her winter collection debut? A throwback to shearling UGGs.
Longtime fans know Hadid’s love for UGGs, so it’s no surprise that she brought them into the mix, albeit with a twist that feels fresh and perfectly aligned with her collec-
tion’s vibe. This season’s version features a shearling layer on top and chunky rubber soles, priced at $190.
We all know that wearing white in the winter can be tricky, especially if you’re planning to be outdoors. Hadid shows us how it’s done by modeling a cream-colored quilted cashmere outerwear piece, retailing for $895, that’s perfect for insulation. She pairs it with a $225 printed vest and $395 cream-colored knitted joggers. The standout styling point? She tucks her joggers into $95 striped socks, part of her own merchandise collection. On Instagram, Hadid enthusiastically wrote, “YES
Hadid Digs Deep Into Comfy
The collection images capture her in more winter whites with a pop of red—a white hoodie under a patterned cardigan, complemented by a bold red scarf and finished with black and red socks layered over white leggings. In another look, Hadid plays with primary colors, wearing a
red, black, and white rugby shirt beneath a cherry red sweater, with a second sweater tied around her waist in a vibrant blue. She completes the outfit with black leggings, yellow shades, and a fuzzy red hat.
Cashmere, puffer, shearling UGGs, black socks, and yellow shades—Hadid makes it all work.
