Missouri S&T Magazine, Winter 2001 by Missouri S&T Library and Learning Resources

Editor's note: On Oct. 20. the UMR Parents' Association named Alfreda Lewis of Grandview Mo. as this year's Parent of the Year The story of how Lewis became reunited with her daughter, Renita Oko. a UMR chemical engineering major, was the subject of a recent feature in The Kansas City Star It is reprinted with permission from the newspaper

Renita Oko roared off in a cloud of dust. Clinging to the back of a motorcycle rider she'd never met, she shut her eyes as adrenaline fired through her like a flamethrower. She had never done any thin g li ke thi s befo re. Perhaps she shouldn ' t be doin g it now. What if sO l11 ebody saw her? What if her fath er found out? By custOI11. N igerian children are considered the propert y of their fa thers. You didn ' t ju st run away frol11 thel11 and go where you wanted, even i f yo u were 18. But th ere was no turnin g back now. The 1110torcyc le's hi gh whine whirred in her ears. D ust coated her teeth. Onl y a few 1110re hours and l11ay be all thi s woul d be over. " 1y heart was poundin g: ' she sa id. " ) was very sca red but at th e same til11e w il ling to take the risk." Renita aka eas ily could have fel t like a character fro l11 a 1110v ie. Except for one thi ng. Renita aka had never seen a 1110v ie. Th ough born in the United States, by any l11easure Renita was not yo ur average A l11eri ca n teen-agel'. By her 18th birthd ay she hadn ' t used a l11i crowave, didn ' t ow n a CD player and had never gone to a l'i ll11. She didn ' t watch TV, didn' t own any blue j eans and had yet to chew a sin gle sti ck o f gUI11. Her house didn ' t even have a tradit ional teleph one. let alone heat, electri city or runnin g water.

Ren ita , a 22-yea r-o ld co ll ege stud ent with bi g brow n eyes and deep-di sh dil11 pl es. spent her early li fe in Kan sas Cit y. But beca use of an il l- fated tri p w ith her fath er in the l11 id- '80s. she did n't grow up here.

When she was S, Renita's Ni geri an-born fa th er had an id ea. He would take her to hi s hOl11eland for an extended v isit. She cou ld stay w ith hi s relati ves and lea rn N igerian culture. He'd have her back in two yea rs, he sa id. Renita 's 1110ther, A lfreda L ew is o f Grand view, had legal custody of her daughter. She had no reaso n to believe her well l11annered ex -husband wo uldn ' t keep hi s word. She gave her perl11 iss ion. A t first everythin g was fin e. In December o f 1984, shortl y after they left, a postca rd arrived. " N ita is handling hersel f very we ll: ' Lew is' ex -hu sband. Piu s aka, wrote. " She says ' Hi .' th at she is OK and happy. Love, Piu s." But every thing was not OK. aka did not provide L ew is wit h a telephone number, address or even a city. T hen i t got worse. In 1985 , a Mutual o f Oma ha in suran ce inves ti gator told Lew is that som eo ne had taken out li fe in surance po licies on Renita, reported her dead , then tri ed to co ll ect. A phony death certifi cate had even been submitted w ith the clail11 . The agent , who suspected in surance frau d. advised her not to contact her ex- hu sba nd or tel l him of the investi ga tion. Soon after. aka wrote Lew is askin g for money. She refused and w rote back to his pos t offi ce box. the only add ress he ever gave her, and reminded hi m o f hi s promise to return Renit a w ithin two years. He did not return Reni ta in two years. Or three. Or fi ve. L ew is was franti c. She had two other children by other fathers. But thi s was her baby. She wanted to run and get Renita. Brin g her home. But what could she do? She didn ' t have enough money to fl y to N igeria. A nd even if she did, w here wo uld she go? She didn't kn ow w here her daughter was. Bes ides, N igeria was beset by crime and co rrupti on. It was no place for a wo man trave lin g alone. let alone one who didn't spea k the language. "1 ju st longed to see her." Lew is sa id. ,./ dreamed about her cO l11 in g back. T pra yed about her coming back ." Des perate. L ew is ca l led the U.S. Embassy in (continued on page 12)

MSM·UMR ALUMNUS ! Winlcr 2001