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ISSUE 88.12


JANUARY 29, 2014


SLOPE STYLE As my board sliced the powder, I felt as if I’d epitomized agility. Two seconds later, I tumbled violently onto my five-year-old CASSANDRA Columbia jacket as my JOHNSON oversized mittens flew into oblivion. A young man skidded over. “Nice coat,” he scoffed, dropping the mittens and weaving out of sight. I winced, not used to having my style critiqued. And because my tailbone was in agony. Slope style is not much different from any other type of style. There are two

schools of slope style: those who dress for comfort, and those who dress to impress. Park rats are part of the latter. Steaze (or style with ease) predominates this school of thought. The key is to appear effortless, which usually requires much thought and research. They ride to impress. And when all eyes are on them as they fly airborne, they have to look the part. Like all styles, these change with the season. As avid boarder and Union student Jake Trana states, “Bright colors and baggy styles used to be very popular, but now it’s starting to be more earthy colors and fitted styles.” His recommendations

Photo courtesy of Jake Trana

Jake Trana taking it steaze-y on the slopes.

for specific brands? “Nitro snowboards, Thirtytwo boots, L1 outerwear, and Union binding company.” The potential downside of steaze? Warmth. After my unfortunate style blunder, I bought into the mindset of my park rat friends and found myself donning a slouchy name-brand coat, shivering my way down the mountain. Sure, I had become more steaze-y, but a day later, I purchased an unstylish wool sweater for warmth. A couple trails over from the park, you’ll find the other side of the coin— those who dress for comfort. Often fiftyyear-old, retired surgeons (and me), these people resemble the younger brother from “A Christmas Story.” The more layers the better—bonus points if you look like the Michelin man. Patagonia, North Face, and Columbia prevail. Conversations on the lift may turn to the newest heated gloves or goggles that project your speed onto the lens. We do not have steaze or boardside flips, but we do have circulation in our toes. Like all of my articles, I’ll end with my signature tip: dress with confidence. Rock your oversized, ridiculous marshmallow coat. Or try to keep up with Jake Trana. Either way, ride with confidence and let your skill speak for itself. CASSANDRA JOHNSON is a senior pursuing a business pre-med degree.











BEARD FEAR Like most men, I have long suspected that women who run from me when I wear a beard do so more out of jealousy than repulsion. It stands to reason that SPENCER WAY women who can grow thick, glorious facial hair rarely, if ever, actually grow a beard or express feelings about beards such as, “You look like the thing that Sasquatch fears.” My belief that women dislike beards because they cannot have them rests on this watertight logic. I think that women have the right to grow beards, but alas, so few have the ability. This unfortunate fluke of nature, no doubt a result of sin, has led to a largely female-led phenomenon recently recognized as beardism. Noted beardist Cassie Johnson was recently overheard voicing her hatred: “I just think that if I can’t have a beard that nobody should. Stupid beards. They’re stupid!” Reactive comments and attitudes such as this have been tolerated since the Pilgrims rocked sideburns large enough to knit with. Men, and the rare woman, wearing the “burns,” kept quiet about beardist comments and ostracism. But the beardist movement has gained

increasing grassroots support and is socially oppressing bearded individuals all over the Midwest, especially those on the fourth floor of Prescott Hall. The effects are devastating. One soon-to-be college graduate took a blow to his selfesteem when a crowd of beardless peers surrounded him, chanting, “You are going to die alone!” This individual later did poorly in school and suffered from decreased lifetime earning potential. The fear among the bearded population is that such rhetoric, despite its ignorance, may gain enough traction that those with beards may actually believe it and begin shaving. If the net nationwide square footage of face covered in beard were to dip below, say, 10,000 square feet, the bearded population would face a future direr than that of the perm. Beardism, though not as devastating as other isms (e.g. sexism, racism, ageism, etc.), comes from a lack of understanding, which breeds fear, which in turns yields discriminatory reactions. Recognizing an ism of any kind within oneself is never easy. It takes time and insight to see flaws in oneself; it takes fortitude and desire to change one’s biases. Change in all things, whether personal or public, begins with recognition, and it is to this duty that this

A few bearded blokes on campus gathering to appreciate each other’s facial fur.

article speaks. Join me as examine myself and ask, am I a beardist? Do I treat those with facial fur differently? My answer and yours will show us what to do next. SPENCER WAY is a senior studying business administration.




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It’s no secret that, if you want an easy A in an English class, you don’t sign up for class with Dr. Fitts. Though I haven’t experienced his SARAH classes firsthand, I’ve VENTURA had many a friend who coasted through academy English just to wind up shell-shocked with an F on their rough draft for his College Writing course. Dr. Fitts doesn’t play games; if you expect to do well in his class, expect to put in the work. For students whose scholastic weak spot is grammar, or for those who would rather learn anatomical insertion points than learn how to incorporate anastrophe into their poetry, surviving a Fitts class can seem like a struggle at best. However, for all of you taking one of his classes this semester (especially those who related all too well to my last sentence), take heart. There is hope. Since 1989, Dr. Fitts has incorporated Rock Pile Poets as a way for his students

to earn extra credit in his classes. Inspired by the movie the Dead Poets Society, Rock Pile Poets is a monthly grade-boosting opportunity for students to present their poem of choice to Dr. Fitts and their fellow classmates. For a maximum of 10 extra credit points, students can submit a hard copy and then either read or memorize an original or favorite poem. (For those who think you don’t have a favorite poem, just remember that song lyrics are poetry put to music.) Anyone who feels terrified at the thought of receiving critique on an original poem, you’re not alone. That would terrify me, too. The good news is that, while Dr. Fitts will point out a grammatical error, what he’s really looking for is all the things you’re doing right. “Sometimes students don’t realize the techniques they’re already using,” says Dr. Fitts. “Point them out, and they think, ‘Maybe I am a writer.’” Slade Lane, a self-described “Fitts-aholic,” has been a faithful attender of Rock Pile Poets during his six Dr. Fitts classes. He attests to the benefits of the Rock Pile

SUBMISSIONS OPEN FOR POETRY CONTEST BY APHELANDRA MESSER The Division of Humanities is hosting its annual poetry contest. Students and faculty of Union College are invited to enter a poem for consideration before submissions close at noon on February 7. Student entries will be judged by a panel of professors from the humanities division and the fine arts division. Faculty entries will be judged by a group of students (Micah Robinson, Michael Rohm, and Aphelandra Messer) and one alumna (Addison Hudgins). Winners will be announced on Monday, February 17. The top three student winners and one faculty winner will receive $20 to $30 gift cards to Barnes and Noble, and the top twenty poems will be on special display in the McClelland Art Gallery. Interested poets can send their entries to Christi Daniels at; one entry is allowed per person.

Poets, describing it as a “free environment to grow in and get compliments and feedback.” If you have the urge to become a better writer, or if you know that you’re going to need all the extra credit you can possibly get in one of his classes, make time join Dr. Fitts at Rock Pile Poets. For more information on when and where Rock Pile Poets meets, run up to the fourth floor of the Dick Building and ask the man himself. SARAH VENTURA is a junior studying exercise science.


ART IN THE GARDENS BY MAGGIE DORN Noyes Art Gallery will be presenting their Art in the Garden show August 23, 2014 from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. at the Sunken Gardens located on 27th and Capitol Parkway. This is the second time art enthusiasts will have the rare opportunity to enjoy beautiful gardens and art simultaneously. Guests can enjoy live music, original art for sale, free admission, and free parking. You won’t want to miss this event, so mark your calendars! This year the Noyes Art Gallery is sponsored in part by Great Western Bank. Partial proceeds will be donated to the Lincoln Parks and Recreation Center. In case of rain, the show will resume on August 24th. For questions or more information, please call the Noyes Art Gallery at 402-475-1061.



DO SWEAT IT Contrary to popular belief, the New Year may be the worst time to hit the gym. Why? Picture this: You head to the cardio machines EMILY to warm up, just to find SYVERTSON them all occupied with resolute, red-faced exercisers. You make do with a good shaking of the limbs and head toward the weights, stopping in confusion. Where can you go? Bodies are splayed and straining on every bench. A man is leisurely psyching himself up, possibly meditating, while he camps out on the machine you planned on using. A woman is hoarding half of the barbells, ensuring that no one else can interrupt her circuit. This environment is clearly not conducive to your fitness. So for those of you who still want to get your burn on in January—the month when gyms overflow like a hair-clogged sink—here are a few suggestions that don’t require a gym. Pay your school bill. One. Dollar. At. A. Time. Oh, and make the hike to sixth floor each time you want to hand over that precious dollar. Your commitment to debtfree living and rock-hard quads will work synergistically in this fitness model. Move out of the dorm. And then

move back in for funsies. After all, you can’t actually leave the dorm yet. Forget lifting dumbbells and start lifting your own material possessions. This might lead to a purging session brought on by the realization that you have too much stuff. By the time you move back in, your room will be decluttered and your biceps will take up more space. Track down Ben Tyner. This elusive professor will lead you on a cardio-filled, coffee-infused chase. By the time you find him (probably at The Mill), your aerobic capacity will have increased and your interest in writing daunting doctorate dissertations will have decreased. Walk in the wind. When winds exceed 60 mph, pull on your poncho (for optimal wind-catching capabilities) and head out for a hike. To take it up a notch, carry a large piece of cardboard for increased wind resistance. Prepare yourself for the occasional lift-off and guaranteed windchapped face. On second thought, wear a ski mask. Of course, you could always do workout DVDs or some pushups in your room, but I think the above suggestions will keep us more connected. What better way to enjoy our campus community than to experience its everyday aspects from behind sweat-filled eyes?

When gyms are stuffed to the brim, students must take alternative action.

EMILY SYVERTSON is a senior English major with a communication minor.

KEEP CALM Anyone who comes to my home can read a magnet on my fridge that states, “Don’t tell me to relax. Stress CHELSEA is the glue that holds ZUMWALT me together.” This little magnet puts a humorous twist on a serious issue for college students today. We have a chronic stress problem. Additional activities outside of the classroom, a call from our parents delivering difficult news,

a surprise quiz, or even a misplaced scowl from a classmate all have the potential to send us careening into a pit of despair— and yes, it does seem that serious. Since we’ve acknowledged the problem, perhaps it’s time to consider ways to manage and decrease our stress. This may seem like a cliché, but breathing is often the perfect way to fend off little stressors. When an angry glance catches you by surprise, taking a deep breath may be just the ticket to relieving that initial anxiety and getting a handle on

your emotions. Stress is a physiological and psychological response to overwhelming events, both good and bad. These events are aptly called stressors and can trigger our fight-or-flight response in which the sympathetic nervous system takes over. Stepping away from the stressors, even just mentally, can switch the control to your parasympathetic nervous system—the system at work during your resting periods. Spending time with God is especially important, even when we feel (continued on page 5)

SPECIAL INTEREST (continued from page 4) so stressed that we don’t think we have the time to. Without God as a buffer, my struggles overwhelm me. I’ve come to the realization that God has never demanded one way of worship. He simply wants a relationship with us. Discovering which form of worship fires you up for God is the first step in a fulfilling relationship with Him. Go on a walk, sit in nature, sing love songs to God as David did in the Bible, dance with God, write letters, or simply sit in silence. If you get too caught up in


the how, you’ll miss out on the why of spending time with God. Simply talking to someone else can be empowering in itself. Conversing with a friend, counselor, or teacher can also provide you with a new perspective on the crisis and help with moving forward. Be careful when you talk it out, however. If venting turns to gossip, it often does more harm than good. Finally, you could temporarily step away from the situation. Finding a hobby that helps you lessen your anxiety may help

you get a handle on the little difficulties. Sometimes focusing on something you enjoy lends a new perspective on the troubles you are facing and builds your self-esteem in the meantime. When feeling overwhelmed with momentary inconveniences and long-term ailments, remember that we each face stressful situations in our life and each one of us can get through it. CHESLSEA ZUMWALT is a senior studying nursing and pre-allied health.

ASK AMBER Dear Amber,

I am getting tired of drinking coffee every single morning. I want to start looking into other things that can get me energized for my day. Any suggestions? AMBER ALAS

Sincerely, Not-So-Energizer Bunny

Dear Not-So-Energizer Bunny, I am guilty of drinking coffee every single morning, but I have recently tried to do some new things to keep me awake. Good news! There are so many other options out there to energize you throughout your day. One of them is to get at least seven hours of sleep. Are you a student that stays up all night to finish last-minute homework or pulls all-nighters? If you can curb your procrastination, you’ll be able to sleep earlier and wake up feeling well-rested. With 30 mg of caffeine per cup, green tea will give you a

boost with health benefits. If you don’t like regular hot green tea, try a green tea latte smoothie. Buy Tazo green matcha tea latte concentrate (found at Target) and mix it along with your choice of milk and ice. Exercise, whether it means waking up at 6 a.m. to go for a run or taking time in the middle of your day to lift some weights, will wake you up and keep energy levels high even when you’re not exercising. Eat an apple. Rumor has it apples can provide an energy boost equivalent to that of coffee. And even if rumor is wrong, an apple a day is delicious. Finally, if you feel sluggish and have headaches, dehydration may be the culprit. Bring a water bottle with you.

Sincerely, Amber

AMBER ALAS is a senior nursing student.

Have a question or situation that you think could benefit from someone else’s perspective? Ask Amber at All inquiries are anonymous, so you get the insight without being in sight.



FRESH FACES OF LINCOLN Dunkin’ Donuts is finally moving into Lincoln and will be here by the end of the summer. QSR Services, the company that owns TYLER two of the three Dunkin’ ELLIS locations in Omaha, announced two years ago that they would be coming to the Lincoln market. Now that plan is finally coming to fruition. QSR Services bought the land at the intersection of 27th and Old Cheney and hopes to start developing immediately. Lincoln will be one of the last cities with 250,000 or more people to get a Dunkin’ Donuts, partially due to Lincoln’s reputation as a tough market to move into. Although Dunkin’ Donuts’s arrival is big, they are not the only business making a move on the Lincoln market. Pizza Rev, a make-your-own pizza chain based out of Los Angeles, is moving into Lincoln within

a year. Currently, their other locations are only in California, so picking Lincoln as the next market to move into is a big deal for us. The Best Buy in town is relocating from 48th and R to 70th and O, strategically moving to a smaller format store. With Lincoln acting as a test city for Best Buy’s change in direction, the smaller format’s success or failure in our town will affect their stores on a national scale. The new tenant for Best Buy’s old location is said to be “big,” but there is no official statement on who it will be. Lastly, following the wild success of Whole Foods, the grocery store trend is expected to continue. Aldi, a German discount grocery chain, and The Fresh Market are also planning on opening a location here in Lincoln near 84th Street. All of these planned openings demonstrate what a vibrant and growing town Lincoln is. And with unemployment

in Lincoln below four percent as more stores open up, this is a great city to live and work in!

Lincoln’s business market is expanding.

TYLER ELLIS is a senior business major.


MON 27

TUE 28

WED 29

THU 30


31 1 Preview Days Vespers: Maria Long (through Feb. 2) Concert, 7:30 @ CVC

Campus Store Sale (through Jan. 31)


5 Chapel, 10:30 @ CVC

Warrior’s Basketball: Women’s game, 5 p.m.; Men’s game, 7 p.m. @ Thunderdome MAU Education Club Banquet, 6 to 8 p.m.

6 Music Festival (through Feb. 8)

CVC Services at 9 a.m. and noon V2, 5:30 p.m. @ CVC

General Assembly 10:30 a.m. in DB

2 3 ASB Superbowl Party, 5 p.m. @ Student Center


ASB Ice Skating @ Mahoney State Park, 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.

7 8 Grad Announcement MAU Music Festival Rep @ Campus Concert, 4 p.m. Store, 10:30 a.m. to @ CVC Warrior’s Basketball: 3 p.m. Faculty Senate, 10:30 a.m.

Women’s game, 5 p.m.; Men’s game, 7 p.m. @ Grace University

Vespers: MAU Music Festival, 7:30 p.m. @ CVC

V2, 5:30 p.m. @ CVC ASB Splash for Cash




to med school

Michael Rohm: talk already!

to babies. Learn to

Spencer Way:

to Veggie Thug Life.

Dan Carlson: to double-punch Tuesdays at NuVibe. Amanda Ashburn: to Disney’s Frozen soundtrack. to your roommate playing it 24/7. Amber Alas:

to JT coming to Omaha.

The Clocktower Staff Editor-in-Chief Copy Editors Layout Editor Opinion On Campus

Emily Syvertson Taylor Roberts Aphelandra Messer

Feedback The Clocktower encourages reader feedback and strives to maintain accuracy. If you have comments, please email us at cltower@ The Clocktower is published weekly during the school year by the Associated Student Body of Union College, 3800 S. 48th St., Lincoln, NE 68506. The opinions expressed are the opinions of the writers and are not to be construed as the opinion of the editors, Associated Student Body, Union College, or the Seventh-day Adventist Church.


Spencer Way Michael Rohm Chelsea Zumwalt Steven Foster Culture Cassandra Johnson Katie Morrison Special Interest Amber Alas Tyler Ellis Sports/Tech Dan Carlson Emy Wood Online Cody Blake Photographer Online Content Manager Megan Prescott Michael D. Steingas Sponsor



SHALL WE TRAVEL? Different places inspire differently. Nowhere inspires sloth like Bocas del Toro, Panama. There is something about the SPENCER languid heat that frees WAY the mind to wander. Often my mind wandered to bed where it slept. Occasionally it strolled into more contemplative waters, and it is there that I took the time to notice the most relaxed place in Panama. I am sitting in a hammock chair midway out on a pier facing LaMama Loca, an area of Hostel Casa Verde in Bocas. Behind me are two hammocks, one striped with blues and yellows, the other decorated like an Indian blanket. Members of our group fill them, rocking. Tonight every face reveals

a bone-deep contentment or fatigue, the exhaustion of complete relaxation, or possibly the transcendence of travel. A sign warns that you swim at your own risk. The park bench beside the hammocks has lost its seat cushion. A mobile of stringed seashells decorates the ceiling beside a listless wooden fan. To the left a hammock chair mirrors the one I am sitting in. Walk forward on the pier and there are plants. Aloe, small palm, and flower beds, the herbs within easily confused with weeds. The flower box is painted yellow with blue lettering, “Music has no language.” The pier divides here, leaving two spots for docking on either side of the projected hammock area. Stretching the length of the shore is a covered porch with more plants and wooden tables. They’re thick with stools of whole logs saved from the fireplace and

Photo courtesy of Spencer Way

Travel is more than just a trip.

varnished. On the back bathroom wall is “TOURS,” a sign made of faux pebbles resting above the red and black dart board, darts helter-skelter. Quickly now, there is a picnic table to the right with hodge-podge chairs and park bench. Slipping toward the backroom kitchen you’ll find occupied green chairs under a bottle cap map with strings clearly showing that you’ve made it, Panama is the center of the world. You’re back, blind, only listening. Drums and guitar, “Deliverance” by Bob Marley is sung by six young hippies and the lapping of water against the dock. Why can voices, a cry, songs, drown each other out, but the lapping sing-song of water journeying in and out can’t be overcome? Is it the consistent breath of God? Transcendence seems almost likely in this surreal place, but instead my mind wanders to unanswerable questions. Can travel itself be transcended and made a part of oneself? It depends on what travel is. Travel is defined in some ways by what it is not. Travel is not necessarily a destination, trip, or journey. Travel is an experience, an action that exposes the traveler to the unexpected, reveals the unknown. Travel is an accomplishment and it is an adventure. Then transcendence is there, elusive but possible. Travel is a state of mind. A discovery of oneself, it is the comparative essay made possible through total juxtaposition to what you normally are and do. It is relaxation so intense it is tiring. It is possible to vacation and not change, but one who travels never returns home the same. It is angst. Restlessness in the mind, an unsettled feeling caused by the paradox of loving the learning experience, all the while knowing the benefit, and still thinking of the consistency of home. Travel is question-asking. Could life not always be like this? I suspect not. Yet, I still ask, shall we travel? SPENCER WAY is a senior studying business administration.

The Clocktower, Volume 88, Issue 12