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FOMO What’s gone down, who said what and what you should know…

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The Village sponsored by

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May 2020


The Village sponsored by

FOMO THE VILLAGE VOICE

to our first issue of FOMO – it’s a round up of what’s been happening on our village, news you can use, views and perspectives that you may (or may not) share, insight into how you’re navigating Covid-19 at home, ways you can help in your community and so much more – did I mention ‘how to survive being at home 24-7 with teens?’ There are now over 35 000 of us on The Village and I know with so much happening on social media, online schooling and hustling taking up our time, FOMO might help you stay in the loop with all the village chatter.

VILLAGE HEROES When one of our village teens recently took an overdose, your outpouring of support and advice was incredible… “This is such a difficult age for our kids in general and at the moment the whole world is upside down. Even some of the most upbeat non depressed kids are feeling serious strain and this is going to be a source

for many suicide attempts. She is begging for help. You have started again on the path to healing. Follow the path. It will be ok. “ This time in lockdown has been tough for us all but more so for our teens who need their peer group around them. Thankfully there is social media but nothing beats real live interaction. Stick by your daughter through thick and thin and all will be well, I m sure.

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“It’s been the craziest, most emotional and humbling time in our lives and I’m grateful that we all have this Village of caring, communityminded and capable women to call our tribe. While we’re still in the midst of Covid-19 chaos, I know that we have one thing in common – we all want the best for our families our friends and the people who feather our nests. FOMO is our snapshot of what’s gone down on The Village these past few weeks… Th monis th

...

2500 posts 59 400 comments Members: 35 500 & count ing 221 000 react ions It is not something you have done, or because something is wrong with your child. In fact, something is right with your child - and that is the fact that she is not already numb to the world. She feels things deeply and feels helpless against the enormity of these feelings. If you or your child is struggling, we cannot emphasise enough how important it is to speak to a professional sooner rather than later. Not sure who to speak to… ask on The Village – we’re all here to help!


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FOMO

A list to

From mosaic kits to homecooked meals, online tutors, plus yoga and meditation gurus, we’ve got all your physical and practical needs covered during lockdown (no hairdressers yet, sorry!)

CLICK HERE More than 200 services… If you have a business that could benefit from more people knowing about it, then we want to know… click here if you’re an online teacher, entertainer, homemeals provider, anything that will help make our lives easier.

SCONE SOS Afsana Khan needed a recipe… and so many of you came to the rescue especially Liesa Trengrove (the recipe is her husband’s…)

2 cups flour, 4 tsp baking powder, 1 tsp salt, 2 tbsp sugar, 2 t bsp butter, 1 egg, 3/4 cup milk.

Sift flour, baking powder, salt and sugar into bowl. Rub in butter with clean fingers to form a crumb mixture. Beat egg in a cup, add milk so the cup is full to the brim. Pour mixture onto flour mixture gradually and stir with a fork. The dough should not be too dry. Knead the dough on a floured surface so that it becomes fairly compact. Cut into scone shapes. Butter a baking sheet and sprinkle with flour. Place in oven at 200°C for 20 minutes.

RIP

Much-valued member of and contributor to the Village Tamsin Allison recently passed away following the birth of her 5th child. Please keep her husband Devan and five children in your thoughts.

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.

SUBSCRIBE Click here to subscribe to FOMO and you could WIN! Keep an eye on The Village for fabulous subscription prizes!

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HOME WORK

We Villagers are a resourceful bunch – keep an eye out for work-fromhome opportunities and advice on The Village. Some of you are even offering Zoom consults on how they make it happen – please keep on sharing advice and your success stories!

Get your products into the hands and hearts of 35 000 people! Click here for our rates

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FOMO LOCKDOWN LIFE (and praise be to Zoom) My daughter just yelled “Mooooooom. Lionel just vomited!” Hopefully, five times. I pretended I was on a very important Zoom meeting. (I am watching Masterchef Australia and gossiping via what’s app with one of my best friends, Suzy). My daughter is now retching very noisily as she cleans it up. Her father has taken pity on her I am still “busy in a Zoom meeting.”

Quaranteens in the Time of Corona Good news for villager Rachel and her daughter who are giving each other space in lockdown... ”Dad + daughter relationship in repair action for the first time in 7 years. Good story! Actually now I write this, it’s a flippin great story!! And all thanks to this virus!”

Doriann Chrichton, we’re with you!

TRY THIS:

Everyone gets ONE cup, glass, plate, bowl, set of cutlery for the day – s/he who uses more gets to wash everyone’s the following day. Worth a try?

For teenagers who are averse to finger wagging Corona Professors (AKA parents), especially when it comes to enforcing social distancing “Tell him to save the SA Gov Corona hotline number 0600123456 and send the message HI via WhatsApp... Then he can check the updates and info they send” Thanks Cathryn Howard Hewison for sharing!

She who shall remain anonymous (but really – our hero)

Covid-19 - How You Can Help

The need to feed our fellow South Africans seems impossible – but we CAN do it! There are many ways you are all helping – if you’d like to know which suburb your local Comnunity Action Network (CAN) is teamed with for food, clothing and essential supplies dropoffs, click here 03

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DID YOU KNOW? In April 2020 we had over 50 000 comments!

RESILIENCE ROCKS

Resilience Workshops now online! I know so many of you have benefitted from the wisdom and insight of Pippa Shaper and Gabi Lowe. Now they’re offering their brilliant workshops in an online format and they’re selling out fast!

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR PLACE

MASK UP!

Thanks Fiona Pfeiffer for the laugh.

TREAT YOUR MASK LIKE UNDERWEAR... 1. Do not fiddle with it (especially in public) 2. Do not borrow, lend or swop 3. Fit tight but comfortable 4. Make sure it’s clean 5. Wear it right side in 6. If holes in it, discard

The Village

YOUR BEST MASCARA BUYS

It seems the right mascara really is an essential service... 413 comments and counting! BEST FOR BUDGET

Essence Lash Princess DAILY LIFESAVER

Maybelline Great Lash FANCY BUT FABULOUS

Subscribe & W i n!

Clinique Lash Power

A HOME STUDY DESK WORTH R3150 SUBSCRIBE

to C lic k her e OMO F subscr ibe to

Tired of teens and their home schooling taking over the dining room table? We’ve teamed with amazing local company Spaas to bring one lucky Villager a flatpack Mini B home study desk to call their own. These designer desks are lean and mean – they’re so lovely to look at and are super easy to put together – no screws or glue necessary!

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FOMO OUR RESIDENT FUNNYMAN & POET’S MUSINGS

2019 Chronicles

When First Date Prep Goes Horribly Wrong:

Who remembers the exploits of #FIERYFIONA?

‘Dear Village, apologies in advance for the TMI… believe me, I am beyond mortified posting this, but I need advice rather urgently, please! To cut a long story short, in preparation for a big Date Night (this coming Wednesday), I decided to Veet my legs in the shower tonight. It was all going quite well, until I caught a glimpse of my lady garden… I don’t know what possessed me, but I decided to Veet my lady bits as well.. I was actually quite pleased with the outcome and the little effort it took to achieve the desired results. That is, until I had to pee before going to bed tonight… well, you might as well have wacked me full-on with a hot poker in the nether regions! It was that sudden and that painful. I immediately wedged a damp cloth in between, you know… and upon closer inspection established that my punani is indeed ablaze and raw… and not only that, the backdoor is on fire as well… It is now just after 1am and I am still awake.. legs akimbo, trying to ‘air it out’, so to speak. I’m too scared to apply any ointments, as I have already broken through the pain barrier and might separate body from soul if more pain is inflicted. Dammit, I was really looking forward to Wednesday night, as it would have been the first time I was going to be a bit naughty since my divorce last year. Plans have been made and all that, you know? Advice, please dear village. How do I fix my Fiery Fiona fast??’ The answers were many. In the end, coconut oil was suggested by the Village’s actual Gynae, happily, as it turned out. Click here for more and the happy ending.

THE NEWEST VILLAGE PERSON

Vanessa and her family welcomed a new furry child to the family – meet Daisy Rose, the cutest pup in the ‘hood’. Click on any of the links below to adopt your own marvellous mutt! • Aid 4 Animals For Distress • Animalwelfare Society of SA • Darg • Friend Of The Rottweiler Rescue & Rehome South Africa • Grace Animal Sanctuary • Golden Retriever Rescue SA • Leaps • Oscars Arc

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ADOPT-A-PET

• Pit Pals • PlumPets • Rescue Is Life • Rhodesian Ridgeback Rescue • Sidewalk Special • SPCA • Tears • Uitsig Animal Rescue


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