NAVIGATING
Compass Set & Steady When Mandi Bevando considers the early relationship advice she and her husband, Kelly, received, she still considers it solid for young couples. “Being that our parents had [each] divorced, … the advice was to look around and find older couples in successful relationships and figure out what it is that we admire about those relationships, and what seems to have worked for them,” said Mandi. It was advice that she and Kelly took seriously as a young couple. During those days, she said they spoke often about their hopes for the future. One of those talks included learning what the other wanted in a future family. Both of their experiences watching as their parents dealt with divorce and “other relationship hardships” are what Mandi believes gave them similar perspectives on a healthy dynamic. “We have always avoided mind games and challenges. We respect each other,” she said. Mandi and Kelly have been together for 24 years and are married for 21 years. When Mandi graduated high school, she met Kelly at a party through mutual friends. Despite the five-year age gap, she said there was something special from the start. “We knew we had something special when we saw each other every day for seven months straight and never got in a fight,” she said. “Three years later, we were married, and shortly after, welcomed 2 children into the world.” It was in 2009 when they decided to relocate from California to New Jersey. Mandi explained that what truly made that move possible was the closeness that they share with each other.
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February 2021 • Cliftonmagazine.com
“We make a point to spend time with one another,” explained Mandi. “There are so many distractions and expectations that life throws our way, and it would be easy to get caught up in all of it, but we make time for each other.” “We call most outings that we do together dates, even if it’s something as simple as a run to Home Depot,” she continued, “framing our minds around the fact that all the time we have together is a blessing, and why not enjoy ourselves?” The two of them also recognize the importance of compromise - “There is no point in trying to prove whose idea is ‘right.’” - and that you should always try to make your partner feel heard. As for the challenges brought on by the pandemic, Mandi believes the schedule changes are “for the better.” Now, without their commutes, they can eat all their meals together. However, they still recognize when to give each other space so they can return to a conversation later without placing needless blame. “We usually find that after giving ourselves some time to digest things that we can more easily see things from the other person’s perspective,” explained Mandi. Mandi also said it is helpful that they share a number of similar interests. Their shared interests include making and doing projects, as well as family game nights that their now-older children join. They also enjoy hiking, cooking and eating great food. “We are best friends and equals,” said Mandi. “Laughter makes every day brighter.”