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2 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

CWCONTENTS COVER STORY THE ZION ZODIAC

Local astrologer Christopher Renstrom looks to the stars to see what 2016 has in store. Cover photo by John Taylor

16 4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 12 NEWS 20 A&E 23 DINE 29 CINEMA 31 TRUE TV 32 MUSIC 44 COMMUNITY

CONTRIBUTOR STEPHEN DARK

Stephen Dark worked as a reporter in the U.K. before falling in love with Argentina in the mid-‘90s, only to be driven out in 2004 along with his family by social and economic instability. He is the 2015 recipient of the Best Reporter award from the Society of Professional Journalists Utah Headliners Chapter.

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LETTERS Toasting Toasted

I’m a retired A P reporter/bureau chief. I loved John Saltas’ Private Eye column on Christmas Eve. Last night, I toasted (a bit too much, methinks) to A Christmas Story, and Saltas’ writing [“Xmas Central,” Dec. 24, City Weekly], prompted me to toast to him (lightly, this time of day). Merry Christmas, John, and please buy the Tribune.

BILL BEECHAM Salt Lake Cit y

Never a Flour Tortilla!

As a gringa who loves to eat and has lived in Oaxaca for many years, I beg to correct some of your comments about tlayudas [“Monday Meal: Oaxacan-st yle Tlayudas,” Dec. 15, Cit yWeekly.net]. First, the name comes from Nahuatl and the “tl” at the beginning is pronounced like a “cl” sound. In fact, in older parts of town, most of the signs are spelled clayuda. This would be the sound used in other local words, such as Jalatlaco, Tlacolula. Definitely a “click c” at the beginning. It’s OK to pronounce it wrong, but never, ever, ever use a f lour tortilla. Only the Northerners here in Mexico eat f lour tortillas, unless you go to the pueblo of Tepelmeme on the way to Puebla. There, they take their local wheat and grind it into a masa with the metate. Think the best Indian chapati you have ever had, and

WRITE US: Salt Lake City Weekly, 248 S. Main, Salt Lake City, UT 84101. E-mail: comments@cityweekly.net. Fax: 801-575-6106. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity. Preference will be given to letters that are 300 words or less and sent uniquely to City Weekly. Full name, address and phone number must be included, even on e-mailed submissions, for verification purposes. it is better! In the markets, you hear women selling blandas (large soft handmade tortillas) and tlayudas (these are the same large size but have been carefully dried). A lways, always always, the masa is maize. You left out a key flavor: asiento. Or pork lard. It is always smeared generously over the entire tlayuda. Recently, we can buy a great product that tastes very good and almost like asiento. Strangely enough, it is ground sunflower seeds. Think sort of like tahini is to sesame seeds. The bean paste that is then spread on the tlayuda is the chef ’s secret. Not always with pasilla—I love pasilla, and I think I get it about half the time—sometimes, it is with just epozote or finished with hierba de conejo or hoja de aguacate (rabbit herb and avocado leaves). I have never seen a large quantit y of onion added. The bean paste I see is still black. Some people do make it on a comal, but the most common way is to put it folded into a wire basket (sort of like one used to grill fish). It is hinged and just the right size—all tlayudas are the same size. This wire basket is placed directly on the coals. When toast y, the tomato, avocado and, perhaps, cabbage or now lettuce is added with your required amount of salsa. The meat is usually grilled separately, and because it is somewhat tough, it is often just eaten with your fingers. Usually, it’s tasajo or cecina. If you come to Oaxaca Cit y again, let me know. The

lady at my corner makes heaven every night—tlayudas, melotes, tostadas, tacos dorados, empanadas de queso, and on Saturday, incredible pozole. Hard to spend more than 20 pesos. Never a f lour tortilla! Abrazos,

TERI GUNDERSON Oaxaca, Mexico

Correction: Utah guitarist Jamie Glaser is working on an album titled Grateful Am I. The album is inf luenced by the LDS faith, although Glaser himself is not LDS. The introduction to City Weekly’s Dec. 24 Five Spot column indicated otherwise.

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OPINION

WTF?

Cussing is gaining currency. You hear it often, unbleeped, in prime-time sound bites. That’s my observation after months of bluster from the presidential candidates. Even mild-mannered Jeb Bush is cussing: “We’re Americans, damn it!” he said with madefor-newscast gusto. Donald Trump handily trumped Bush with “bomb the shit out of ISIS,” while Rand Paul called “bullshit” on increased NSA surveillance necessitated by the Paris ISIS attack. “Bullshit,” by the way, is the same word Kirstie Alley used on The Today Show a few years ago, and “unadulterated 100 percent pure bullshit” is how NASA climate scientist James Hansen characterized the recent climate accord. Bernie Sanders was sick of Hillary Clinton’s “damned emails”—a welcome applause line in this offbeat campaign—and Ben Carson is “crazy as hell,” according to Lindsey Graham. Meanwhile, in Down East Maine, Jeb’s father took a swipe at “old iron ass” Dick Cheney. Vice President Cheney, you may recall, snarled a “fuck yourself” at Sen. Patrick Leahy while they stood in the Senate chamber. The current VP, Joe Biden, congratulated President Obama on the Affordable Care Act with a man-hug and a compliment— “This is a big fucking deal!” Biden said. Granted, that assortment of vulgarities may not constitute a big deal. Politicians have been cussing for years, just like me, stand-up comedians and damned near everybody else. It is no secret that Rahm Emmanuel and John McCain can cuss as well as Richard Nixon and Lyndon Johnson (who named his penis Mr. Jumbo). The difference is that off-color language is now on the record, unapologetically. Profanity is being deployed in a calculated way, I think. On the one hand, a “damn” here or a “hell” there spices up the gruel of talking points. On the other, cussing is intended to ingratiate. When Jeb says, “damn it!” he intends the subliminal message to be that he is authentic and therefore worthy. Is Joe Sixpack sick of slick, focus-grouped politicians? Hell, yes! If politicians are using vulgarity to win

BY JOHN RASMUSON

votes, others are using it for their own reasons. Browsing the bookstore for a gift for grandma yields Assholes: A Theory on prominent display. A recent edition of the Westminster College newspaper carried an op-ed about “fucking millennials.” Jennifer Lawrence tells Stephen Colbert that Amy Schumer has a “sweet little ass and great tits.” In my class at the University of Utah, the professor says, “What the fuck?” as nonchalantly as though he were texting WTF? to his homeboys. A review of The Big Short in New York Magazine by Jessica Pressler reads, “In the beginning, banking was a fucking snooze. But according to the audience, the movie was not. They laughed in all the right places and got quiet in the third act when it all goes to shit.” Movies provide evidence that cussing has become acceptable. In 1939, when Clark Gable said, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn” in Gone With the Wind, a righteous uproar ensued. In 2013, the 569 F-bombs exploding in Wolf of Wall Street received passing notice. The Martian was granted a PG-13 rating in spite of an F–word or two. It seems pretty clear that the censorious bleep will eventually fall into disuse, along with the verb “to bowdlerize,” as cussing becomes cool. Utah will be on the trailing edge of the trend, its head in the sand. But I do think change has begun along the Wasatch Front. I have LDS friends who prefer “hell” to “heck,” and “damn” to “darn” over the backyard fence. Peter—a churchgoing 9-year-old I know—wrote a confessional letter to Santa this year. Among his lapses, he wrote, was using the words “F, S and H.” He hasn’t tried the B-word yet. But “bullshit” shows up a lot in the columns Robert Kirby writes for The Salt Lake Tribune. (He spells it %&$#@*!) That a creeping transition is underway is evident in

a 2014 speech given by Orrin Hatch, our senator for 39 years. “I get a big kick out of [Democrats] using the word ‘progressive,’” he said. “My gosh, they’re just straight old dumbass liberals anyway.” If prim Hatch can go public with “dumbass,” the train has left the station! I am an old, dumbass liberal who cusses enough to irritate my wife. My father’s favorite expression was “Oh, for hell sakes!” His forbears were pioneers who enjoyed this bit of LDS folk humor recounted in Danish dialect: Jens Jenson was a good fellow. Everybody liked him as an honest fellow. His only fault was that he swore so much. The bishop came to him and said, “Jens, you should come to church. Come up to church.” And Jens finally came up. It happened to be a testimony meeting, and all of his old friends were popping up giving their testimony. Jens finally got nerve enough. He stood up, got started and said, “Oh, good hell. I can’t do it!” And he sat down. So right after church, the bishop came up and patted him on the shoulder. “You are doing all right, Jens,” he says. “Now, the only thing the matter with you is you swear a little too much. Especially you should not swear in church.” “Well, Bishop,” he says, “you do a helluva lot of preaching, and I do a helluva lot of swearing, but neither one of us means a damned thing by it.” Nor did J. Golden Kimball, “the swearing LDS apostle.” “I won’t go to hell for swearing,” he said, “I repent too damned fast.” I doubt Kimball took offense when others cursed and so provides a Golden lesson for those who cuss and those who don’t. CW

POLITICIANS HAVE BEEN CUSSING FOR YEARS, JUST LIKE ME, STAND-UP COMEDIANS AND DAMNED NEAR EVERYBODY ELSE.

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STAFF BOX

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

Should politicians swear in public? Scott Renshaw: It’s time to stop sanitizing discourse. We know bullshit when we hear it, and we know when someone is actually thinking “bullshit” even when we don’t hear it.

Mason Rodrickc: Absolutely, they !@#$-ing should. Swearing is honest thought; we all swear, and when we do, we tend to mean it. We need to hear what they actually mean.

Alissa Dimick: They should be able to say whatever they want. I would love for #FeeltheBurn to say “Fuck you, Trump!” just like the rest of us.

Kylee Ehmann: I think politicians should only be allowed to swear and all other words should be off limits to them.

Jeremiah Smith: Politicians should speak as plainly to the public as they would to their closest friends. It’s easier to ferret out bulls**t that way. I am fine with them cussing as much as their vernacular can handle.

Nicole Enright: I say yes. Because they are human and swearing is fine. Maybe it will help people loosen up a bit.

Jackie Briggs: I have the same policy on politician swearing as I do for grandparents. I don’t know that they need to go f#&king crazy with it. But when they let a “bitch” or a “bullshit” slip, I actually start listening to what they have to say. Grandma means business.

Derek Carlisle: Fuck it, if they wanna swear, let ’em, it’s probably the most honest words to come out of their mouths.

Pete Saltas: If a person is afraid to swear in public, I don’t trust them. Unless, of course, they never swear in private. So how do we know if they swear or not? Are they keeping cuss word secrets from us? What else are they hiding? So many questions! Shit!


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HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE

FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

@kathybiele

State-Approved Drinking

Avast ye! This may not be Captain Morgan, but it’s close enough for Utah. The state liquor commission just approved a new distillery, winery and beer brewer, according to The Salt Lake Tribune. Salt Lake City Distilling will be making a “modern-day” rum, and will even be able to offer tours and tastings. And in the I-can’t-believe-it category, they also approved a wine and beer permit for The Granary Café in Santa Clara. That’s despite LDS Church opposition and because there’s nothing else around, literally. It’s such a puzzler as to why this is even an issue. People do not go to restaurants to get roaring drunk. But the commission can be a hard-ass. It still won’t allow wine to be served at the beloved Cinegrill which moved to a parking-friendly locale in Salt Lake City, even though the LDS facility next door gave the go-ahead.

Clean Energy?

No, no, no. Let’s not get “overcommitted” to renewable energy. We get that Rocky Mountain Power is having to put out money to encourage clean energy. In the ’70s, Congress required big utilities to buy “co-generated power and small generation” facilities if they were “qualified facilities” meeting certain specifications, the Trib reported. But mother company PacifiCorp is getting a whole lot of contract requests, and that means they’ll have to pay out some $2.9 billion over the next decade to these facilities. Of course, RMP says this means the consumer will have to pay through the nose, because RMP passes down its costs. In fact, this is about encouraging clean-energy development in a monopolistic environment.

Elephant Rescue

With all the fear and loathing in the United States, it’s sometimes hard to think of plights around the world. But in keeping with the season, John Hollenhorst found a story worth smiling about. You may know about the plight of the elephant, particularly in Africa where poaching has endangered the noble beast. But in Mumbai, India, a one-eared elephant named Suraj was rescued from a Hindu temple where it had been abused for years. Wildlife SOS has a U.S. chapter based in Salt Lake City, and Salt Laker Lavanya Raju ventured to India to rescue the elephant with police help. Wildlife SOS also partners with Hogle Zoo, which helps train elephant handlers at an Indian sanctuary. National Geographic this week also brought attention to the problem of abuse, poaching and smuggling. In India alone, the elephant population has plummeted from 1 million to about 20,000.

Melissa and Brandon Ruff operate Firemass Metal Co., a local fabricating company known for its unique artistic metal design. Melissa, the company’s business manager, recounts that husband Brandon was a pro-snowboarder for 16 years. During the offseason, he became obsessed with classic cars and would mess around with welding. This downtime hobby gave way to Brandon leaving pro-snowboarding and the couple embarking on a new venture that recently received acclaim for its “man caves” and was featured on the Discovery Channel show, Epic Man Cave Builds.

What type of projects do you typically do?

I don’t identify Firemass as typical. We build anything from basic railings to a vintage bar constructed from an actual 1956 Cruisers Inc. boat with a custom blender made from the boat’s two-stroke motor. We’ve built a wraparound bar made out of genuine whiskey staves and steel. It’s crazy, but we try to utilize everything from pieces we salvage. Brandon’s brain is not typical. He’ll take a client’s idea and tweak it into something they never imagined. The most recent local project we did was the university location of the new Porcupine Pub & Grille, which opened in November 2015. All the metal work is ours.

How did you end up being featured on a show about man caves?

It’s ironic because Brandon’s humility doesn’t allow him to invite, or enjoy, a lot of attention. But they found us: A production company emailed Brandon out of the blue asking if we’d be interested in being a part of a TV project. Apparently, they had been cyber-stalking us for months and loved our unique work and ideas. It literally happened overnight. Our show is titled Epic Man Cave Builds and premiered on Discovery Channel in June 2015. They show re-runs of the program periodically, and we are in the midst of negotiating contracts for renewal.

What’s the most notable or outrageous man-cave projects you were involved in?

It was a project for an Army veteran in Chicago looking for a military-themed space. We wanted to go nuts to show him our gratitude for what he had sacrificed for our country. He had a number of guns and asked that we come up with a storage system to allow him to safely store his guns. Rather than building an ordinary locking gun safe, we came up with the idea to camouflage his gun storage. We custom built the entire arsenal and shelving out of steel; we machined the locking mechanisms and handles; and we used a motorized hydraulic system to submerge the arsenal into the ceiling, completely out of sight. It turned out to be pretty badass, and he was stoked!

—COLBY FRAZIER cfrazier@cityweekly.net


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10 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

BY CECIL ADAMS SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Earth Without Humans If humans were to die out tomorrow, how long would it take for nature to take over and overgrow most traces of our existence? After, like, 10,000 years, would you have to undertake an archaeological dig to find evidence of us, or would parts of major cities still be standing and distinguishable? —Jim Huff

W

hy not take it a step further: What if humans never existed at all? As the Republican primary race drags on, I can’t say it’s not an alluring proposition, and—helpfully—one that was broached this year by researchers at Denmark’s Aarhus University. They came to the fairly obvious conclusion that, sans Homo sapiens, the rest of the world’s fauna would be a hell of a lot better off—so much so that most continents would resemble Africa in the diversity of their mammal populations. In a human-free world, the authors imagine, not only wolves and bears but elephants and rhinos would right now be roaming northern Europe. Alas, we have to work with the facts we’ve got, namely: 1. we exist on earth, and 2. someday, we might not—whether by disease or nuclear winter, or because we’ve ditched this rock for one that’s not yet totally hosed. For the sake of your question, though, let’s imagine we simply vanished—a kind of nondenominational rapture. As it happens, such a scenario was entertained by the journalist Alan Weisman in his 2007 book The World Without Us. Weisman’s conceit was apparently seductive enough that it inspired not one but two documentary franchises: the History Channel series Life After People and National Geographic Channel’s Aftermath: Population Zero. Granted, that latter title carries a real whiff of basic-cable cheese, but Weisman’s no slouch. Working from interviews with botanists, structural engineers, art conservators, et al., he credibly predicts what might happen in cities and less-populated areas, as well as at sites whose abandonment would lead to notably dramatic results—think oil refineries and nuclear reactors. A particularly vivid passage gives the playby-play in New York City. How quickly would urban infrastructure go to s—t in a rapture scenario? Very, very quickly. “After we’re gone, nature’s revenge for our smug, mechanized superiority arrives waterborne,” Weisman writes. In New York’s, case it comes from below: With no one to operate the pumps that keep water out of the subway tunnels, the system finds itself inundated in “no more than a couple of days.” (Superstorm Sandy gave us a taste of what this might look like.) As the water rises toward ground level, it eats away at the soil; within 20 years the streets collapse, becoming rivers. Pipes burst, gas lines ignite—your standard post-apocalyptic hellscape. Within 50 years, their foundations scoured out by water, skyscrapers start to falter and crumble. It’s another few centuries before trees really recolonize the place.

(Interestingly, the animals that don’t make it are ones that adapted too well to human dominance, including several species fabled for their supposed indestructibility: cockroaches, which can’t handle northern winters without heating, and rats, which can’t replace the caloric value of a zillion tons of garbage.) But you’re thinking on a bigger scale than this, Jim. Here are the headlines: 1. Debris in high earth orbit stays there for more than a century. 2. Suspension bridges collapse within 300 years; other, heftier designs might hold up for a millennium 3. In cities like New York, the most durable structures will be stone walls, like those of St. Paul’s Chapel; Weisman sees them lasting “thousands of years.” 4. Meanwhile, the estimated erosion rate at Mount Rushmore is just one inch per 10,000 years. From this, Weisman extrapolates that we can expect parts of it to remain recognizable for about 7.2 million years. In 10,000 years, then, a visitor surveying the earth’s surface will find it largely reforested, with stone ruins here and there indicating the former presence of human life. How long till those are gone too? Here’s where Weisman and another scientist who’s written on the subject—astrophysicist Mayank Vahia, of India’s Tata Institute of Fundamental Research—demur. Vahia suggests that stone and metal building materials will hang on “for tens of thousands of years,” while Weisman figures whatever’s still standing in 20,000 or so years will be erased by another ice age. What’s left then? PVC plastics and glass remain under the ice, ground to a powder. Wiring and plumbing, which show up as subterranean metal deposits. Heavy metals and nuclear materials like uranium and plutonium residues, whose half-lives only begin at 24,000 years. You’ve heard of the Anthropocene, I presume—the name geologists have proposed giving to our current geological epoch, so profoundly affected by humans. Epochs are demarcated by identifiable shifts in the earth’s strata; the aforementioned is all the stuff alien archaeologists will find as evidence of us, millions of years in the future, just as today’s geologists find evidence of past glaciation. Of course, the likelihood of a coming ice age looks even dimmer now than it did back when Weisman wrote his book: We’re not doing such a hot job keeping the atmosphere cool. But that’s an existential problem for another day. n

Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope.com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.


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12 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

NEWS Fifteen From ‘15

News stories that will live long in our memories, or at least till the next news cycle. BY STEPHEN DARK, ERIC ETHINGTON & COLBY FRAZIER comments@cityweekly.net

U

tah found its way into national headlines for better or worse in 2015, depending on your view. Its elected leaders set the table for our national prominence to continue in the new year—proving that the Beehive State is often at the forefront, or tail end, of important news. What follows is a rundown of 15 stories City Weekly reporters thought led the pack. Some are well known, including the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage equality—a groundbreaking decision that traced some key roots to the toppling in 2013 of Utah’s gay marriage ban. Salt Lake City picked a new mayor—its first openly gay mayor—to lead the city for the next four years. Meanwhile Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams leapt in front of news cameras with other Democratic leaders to allege that his campaign manager and former Salt Lake City state representative, Justin Miller, had embezzled tens of thousands of campaign dollars. Utah’s wide-open spaces—around 30 million acres of largely pristine, widely beloved and federally owned public lands—continued to be at the center of a dispute in 2015. And in 2016, Utah’s fight could reach new heights with the Legislature poised to direct state attorneys to sue, an action that will cost taxpayers an estimated $14 million and will have drastic consequences for the state’s most renowned treasures: its open spaces. So enjoy City Weekly’s recap, and prepare yourselves for a new year sure to be filled with new twists and turns—much of which will be news.

Mayor’s Race: Biskupski vs. Becker Only Salt Lake City Mayor-elect Jackie Biskupski knows exactly how difficult it was to take on a popular two-term incumbent in the Salt Lake City mayor’s race, but it is not outrageous to say that Biskupski made it look easy. In the August primary election, Biskupski not only separated herself from the field of three other candidates, but she obliterated Becker, beating him by 15 percentage points. By the time the general election rolled around in November, Becker had clearly narrowed the lead, but he could not overcome the deficit, losing by just over 3 percent. Much of what Biskupski has to offer remains to be seen. Her first stroke of the mayor-elect pen was to ask

The SLC Mayor’s Race: Biskupski vs. Becker for the resignations of 34 of the city’s top appointed department heads, a sign that she is at least looking to start anew in every department from the streets division to the City Attorney’s Office. If nothing else, though, the election of Biskupski is notable on two large fronts: She became the city’s first openly gay mayor, a barrier she crossed more than a decade ago when she became the state’s first openly gay lawmaker. And secondly, Biskupski’s campaign spent about $200,000 less than Becker, a triumph in this modern political era where the democratic system, like items for sale on eBay, are very often won by the biggest spender. (Colby Frazier)

The Sage-Grouse Decision Utah continued to break from the herd in September when it blasted the U.S. Department of Interior for announcing a land-use plan to protect the depleted populations of sage grouse across the West. Governors from Colorado, Wyoming, Montana and Nevada were all on hand on Sept. 22 to applaud the deal that would keep the bird off of the endangered species list. However, Utah leaders, including Gov. Gary Herbert, balked, saying Utah, not the feds, should continue to manage sage-grouse habitat. A protection plan from the feds was always on the docket, but the question on many Utah land managers’ minds was how far would the feds go to protect the species? The answer is to protect 3.3 million acres of key sage-grouse habitat from surface disturbances—up from the one-halfmile radius surrounding the birds’ nesting areas that was previously protected. While these expanded protection areas will undoubtedly give some developers and energy drillers heartburn, Utah will continue to be a player in dictating how best to protect the birds’ habitat on state and private land—a luxury that would have been denied had the bird won endangered status. At the end of the day, the sage-grouse ruling was a lot like a football coach (the feds) giving his quarterback an “attaboy” for throwing for a first down, and the quarterback (Gov. Herbert) turning around and flipping the bird. (CF)

Mormon Policy on How to Deal With Children of Same-Sex Couples Never one to shy away from bad publicity, in November, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints once again found itself in the cross-hairs of equal rights activists the world over for its policy on excluding the chil-

Legislature Mulls Medical Marijuana dren of same-sex couples from church activities. The church’s policy stated that children of gay parents would not be allowed to participate in church activities, or receive any of its benefits in the afterlife, until they reached the age of 18, at which time, they would have to renounce their parents’ lifestyle and appeal to top church brass to join the church. Outrage over the policy stretched far and wide, but church officials stood firm, saying the new policy was needed in the face of the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage. The church did make one clarification, stating that the new policy would impact only those children whose primary home was with a set of gay parents. While many deemed the church’s new policy hateful, some Mormons simply left the church, much as anyone would leave a house party if the host refused to allow anyone with a tan line to eat the chips and salsa. (CF)

Medical Marijuana Bill Introduced In a state where the sale of alcohol is still regulated as tight as the disposal of chemical weapons in the west desert, it was with some shock in 2015 that one of the more conservative members of the Legislature, Sen. Mark Madsen, R-Saratoga Springs, introduced a bill that would have permitted the sale of medical marijuana. Madsen, a grandson of the late Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints prophet Ezra Taft Benson, and a longtime sufferer of back pain, drove to Colorado in early 2015 and got high. He returned to Zion much the same man he was before— hardly the scumbag his teachers, D.A.R.E. program officials and his church promised he would become if he partook. The experience prompted Madsen to take a giant leap toward legalized medical marijuana, and it actually made some waves. The bill cleared its committee on a 3-2 vote, but failed on the Senate floor 14-15, a pretty narrow margin for the virgin shot at pot. If 2015 is a foreshadowing of 2016, then the Legislature will have weed on its mind come mid-January. (CF)

Police Chief Asked to Step Down Two quite popular, and possibly the biggest big-shots in Salt Lake City, are no longer around, and their departures from the scene were interwoven in one of the larger political shakeups of the year. In June, Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker asked his longtime police chief, Chris Burbank, to resign for his handling of sexual harassment complaints

Chief Burbank ‘s Resignation

against one of the department’s deputy chiefs. The claims by the three women were substantiated, and Burbank placed the deputy chief, Rick Findlay, on paid administrative leave until he could retire with benefits. The exact nature of what transpired next is fuzzy. Becker insists that he came to loggerheads with his chief over the delicate topic of sexual harassment, and the man needed to be fired. Burbank has said Becker was kept abreast of the handling of the situation, and that the firing was strictly political. No matter what, Burbank’s dismissal loomed large over the mayoral campaign that saw Becker, a twoterm incumbent, get tossed out in favor of former state legislator Jackie Biskupski. (CF)

Marriage Equality & Antidiscrimination

In June, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down bans on same-sex marriage across the country, putting an end to Utah’s 2004 law prohibiting same-sex marriage. Utah Federal District Judge Robert Shelby’s 2013 prosame-sex marriage ruling spawned multiple lawsuits as some county clerks defied his ruling and denied marriage certificates, and the Utah Department of Health denied adoptions. The year 2015 also saw passage of a LGBTinclusive antidiscrimination law, touted as a compromise between the LDS Church and LGBT groups. However, some controversy remains as critics say no compromise is needed between religious freedom and civil rights, and that the compromise damages civil rights pushes nationally. (Eric Ethington)

Senate Bill 54 & Voting Rights

The battle over who gets to decide which candidates appear on your ballot raged on this year. While lawmakers intended 2014’s Senate Bill 54 as a compromise between the Utah GOP’s caucus-convention system and a direct primary, the fight between the Utah GOP and the state still landed in court. Sen. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross, has said party boss James Evans is acting like a dictator for his refusal to implement the law, and Evans fired back with accusations that Weiler is trying to scare off donors. In November, a judge sided with the Utah GOP, and struck down a portion of SB54. But now, the state elections office is warning that if the Republican party doesn’t allow its candidates to get on to the ballot via signatures, the party could lose its party status, and Republicans could be removed from the ballots. (EE)


Medicaid Expansion Failed Another year has gone by without help for Utah’s uninsured, as lawmakers continued to miss their own self-imposed deadlines to pass some form of Medicaid expansion. The governor’s Healthy Utah plan was passed by the state Senate but quickly died in the House. The highly anticipated Utah Access Plus plan, a collaboration of legislative leaders and the governor’s office, died in October without even getting a public vote after Republicans met in a behind closed doors and voted it down. Lawmakers could pass a bill this upcoming session to stop the Utahns who are dying without health care (it has been estimated that 360 have died due to legislative inaction), but there are also lobbying efforts in Utah like the Koch Brothers’ Americans for Prosperity (AFP) who allegedly attack Republicans who might be in favor of expansion. (EE)

Attacks on Planned Parenthood

Utah’s quest to take over public lands and put them under the control of state lawmakers marches on. Lawmakers spent $500,000 in June to hire New Orleans-based Davillier Law Group, whose local partners are also current or former oil lobbyists, to determine whether Utah has legal grounds to sue the United States for control of public lands. Despite almost every other legal authority saying such a lawsuit would be hopeless, Davillier delivered a 145-page report to the Legislature in early

As public scandals go, having Democratic Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams call his former campaign manager Justin Miller a thief was one of the juicier debacles to entrance media and public interest in 2015. Miller resigned his seat in the state Legislature and pleaded guilty to a felony charge. Miller’s counter-accusations against McAdams targeted the mayor’s relationship with Exoro Group, a lobbying and PR company. Though Mayor McAdams’ dealings were investigated by both the Davis County Attorney’s Office and then the FBI, the allegations were never given a public airing and no charges came to light. Perhaps the public deserves more insight to both of sides of this tale. (Stephen Dark)

Canyon Inn Shuttered Over the years, City Weekly has sought to get to the bottom of much-trumpeted issues regarding how Cottonwood Heights Mayor Kelvyn Cullimore and his Police Department under Chief Robbie Russo run their town. We followed Canyon Inn owner Jim Stojack as he fought what he alleged were abusive power tactics by the local cops to close down his bar. Then we profiled former cop and politician Beau Babka, who supported Stojack’s claims. In addition, we looked at how Cottonwood Heights appeared to undermine GRAMA, effectively thwarting attempts to obtain record requests out of CHPD or the city. Stojack sold the Canyon Inn at the end of 2015 and the drinking establishment is no more. It seems unlikely, though, that the discontent expressed by some in the town over Cottonwood Heights’ leadership will abate. (SD)

Prison & Parole Board Changes The Legislature executed the biggest real estate deal of 2015 by voting to move the Utah State Prison from its longtime home in Draper to a 700-acre site on Salt Lake City’s west side. The new 400-bed prison is expected to cost north of $500 million and will free up dirt in Draper that lawmakers hope will turn into a massive, and lucrative, development. Meanwhile, Gov. Gary Herbert brought criminal-reform advocates an early Christmas present recently when he picked Salt Lake Legal Defenders’ Office’s attorney

Triumph & Tragedy in Short Creek On July 4, 2015, George Jessop dusted off his Dutch ovens and brought back to the FLDS Church stronghold of Hildale, Utah, and Colorado City, Ariz., an Independence Day celebration that 5,000 people attended. After years of conflict, a sense of a community seems to be re-emerging. Friends who hadn’t seen one another in years reunited over eggs, potatoes, karaoke and fireworks. Yet in September, a tragedy in the form of a flash flood took the lives of three women and 10 children and again brought people together, this time in the harrowing search for survivors. FLDS Church members, ex-members and local residents banded together to comb the banks of the creek. Jessop hopes that the governors of Utah and Arizona will attend next year’s July 4 celebration to help cement the slow, and, at times, beautiful changes taking place at Short Creek. (SD)

Harry Reid Ensnared in AG Drama When Davis County Attorney Troy Rawlings confirmed to City Weekly in November 2015 that he was investigating the second most powerful Democrat in the nation, Sen. Harry Reid, D-Nevada, in connection with corruption charges that enveloped two former Utah attorneys general, the response from Reid’s office was to mock Rawlings as an attention-seeker. Rawlings, however, is regarded by many in the law community as a straight-shooter who puts justice ahead of conviction numbers and who will pursue his man or woman, no matter how high-profile. If that weren’t enough, he has publicly pilloried the feds for withholding evidence and even led the charge for transparency. While Shurtleff and ex-AG John Swallow were the original targets of corruption investigations, it seems that, if Rawlings’ investigation yields evidence, others far more powerful may be joining them in court. (SD) CW

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Public Lands Takeover

Hands in the Cookie Jar

Denise Porter to replace former Department of Corrections’ official Jesse Gallegos on the Board of Pardons. Defense attorneys have long complained about what they argue is the board’s prosecutorial mindset; its ranks include three former prosecutors. Advocates hope that Porter, if confirmed by the Utah Senate in January, will bring more balance to the process of evaluating inmates’ past and probable future. (SD)

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After an anti-abortion group released videos supposedly showing Planned Parenthood officials selling off fetal parts, Utah took the lead in going after the women’s health provider both nationally and here at home. Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah, chaired the committee that investigated Planned Parenthood, but he became the subject of national ridicule after he tried to stump Planned Parenthood’s president with a chart he got from another anti-abortion group, which didn’t actually make sense mathematically. In Utah, despite the videos being thoroughly debunked by every reputable news organization as highly edited and even Rep. Chaffetz admitting Planned Parenthood had done nothing wrong, Gov. Gary Herbert announced he would cut off funding for Planned Parenthood of Utah. Advocates of the group have protested, pointing out that the funding is for STD screenings and educational programs. (EE)

December saying they think Utah could win. Davillier is also offering, for an estimated $14 million, to represent Utah in the case. (EE)

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Democrats Square Off Over Missing Funds

Jim Stojack ‘s Canyon Inn Closes Its Doors

AG Drama Ensnares Sen. Harry Reid, D-Nev.

DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 13

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CITIZEN T! O REVOLT BIG SHINY ROB

THE

NUEVE

In a week, you can

THE LIST OF NINE

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ducking Rocky Mountain Power.

4. Accept your Mom’s friend request.

3. Much to the chagrin of your roommate, start fostering birds. off your bucket list.

1. Let your Twitter followers know that you’re quitting Facebook, but are still on Instagram.

FAREWELL CONCERT

Tell us it isn’t so. Fats Grill presents A Fond Farewell—An Epic Night of Acoustic Music. Last night ever before the iconic bar and grill closed and the building is demolished. Why? Let’s just say “developers.” Things are changing in Sugar House, and they’re changing without the little guy. Celebrate the good times, and hope Fats can find a new venue. The lineup, including Bob Bland, Michelle Moonshine and Fred Hayes with Jacob Dahlberg of the Gorgeous Gourds can be found on Facebook. Fats Grill, 2182 S. Highland Drive, 801-484-9467, Wednesday, Dec. 30, 6 p.m.-midnight. FatsGrillSLC.com

HIKES

Bring in the New Year with a little exercise. Go hike. Utah state parks are joining the First Day Hikes initiative with five-day adventures across the state. You can start at 10 a.m. with a trip to Antelope Island State Park for the Beacon Hill hike. A park ranger will lead the 5-mile moderate hike while talking about the history and wildlife of the island, smack dab in the middle of the Great Salt Lake. Gravel Pit Trailhead, 801-773-2941, Friday, Jan. 1, 10 a.m. StateParks.Utah.gov

NEW YEAR’S CELEBRATIONS

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Who says kids can’t celebrate New Year’s? Just don’t let them stay up too late. The Natural History Museum of Utah will host a Countdown to Noon at a New Year’s celebration for the whole family. You can make your own paper snowflakes, winter crowns and light sabers. Examine snow crystals under a microscope and check out Utah’s winter birds. Help them ring in the new year, natural history-style, with a group countdown, an explosion of confetti and streamers, rockin’ music, prizes and countdown fun from DJ Jarvicious! Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 801-581-6927, Thursday, Dec. 31, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., regular admission price, party pack $3. NHMU.Utah.edu

n You can eat your way into 2016 with Ballet West and Culinary Crafts. Join Adam Sklute and a collection of Ballet West’s dancers, along with Utah’s premiere caterer, Culinary Crafts, for a 10-course blowout New Year’s Eve celebration at the Rice-Eccles Tower, complete with dancing and fireworks. To attend this exclusive event, you must purchase your tickets in advance. They are very limited, so don’t delay. Rice Eccles Tower, 451 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake city, 801-869-6900, Thursday, Dec. 31, 7 p.m.-midnight, $200-$250. Bit.ly/1QYlZlQ

—KATHARINE BIELE

Send events to editor@cityweekly.net


S NEofW the

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

One-man Arsenal According to the flabbergasted sheriff of rural Chesterfield County, S.C., “This has completely changed our definition of (what constitutes) an ‘ass-load’ of guns.” Brent Nicholson, 51, had been storing more than 7,000 firearms (most of them likely stolen) in his home and a storage building on his property. Every room of the house was stacked with weapons, and it took four tractor-trailer trips to haul everything away, with help of 100 law-enforcement officers. Nicholson also had 500 chainsaws, at least 250 taxidermied deer, elk, alligator heads and more. No motive was obvious to deputies. (Nicholson would still be living in the shadows today if he hadn’t run that stop sign on Oct. 21 with bogus license plates on his truck.)

Updates Russian artist Pyotr Pavlensky, 31, has devoted his career to getting on the government’s nerves and succeeded once again in November. (News of the Weird last mentioned him in 2013 when he nailed his scrotum to the floor in Moscow’s Red Square to protest police oppression.) In his latest event, he set fire to the front door of the headquarters of Russia’s security service (the FSB, formerly KGB) and has been detained—though from his cell, he demanded his charge of “vandalism” be changed to “terrorism.” A member of the Russian band Pussy Riot called the door fire “the most important work of contemporary art of recent years.” Pavlensky once sewed his lips together protesting arrests of Pussy Riot.

Police Report The Human Fanny Pack: Brandon Wilson, 26, was arrested in November in Cedar Rapids, Iowa—his second bust of 2015 in which a substantial number of crack cocaine “baggies” were found in his rectum. Fifty-one were recovered this time (counting the ones with marijuana), down from the 109 discovered in his February arrest. Police in November also found $1,700 cash on him (but just in his pocket).

n Following prosperous news reported here (from New York, the Czech Republic and Massachusetts), the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster of New Zealand announced on Dec. 10 that the country’s official records now recognize the Church as a legal sanctioner of marriages. The Church must now nominate an “official marriage celebrant” (who will be known as “His Noodly Honour.”)

CHECK OUT THE WORD PHOTOS AT

WEIRD

The Continuing Crisis In November in Harare, Zimbabwe, Mison Sere, 42, was judged winner of the 4th annual “Mister Ugly” contest after showcasing his seemingly random dental arrangement (some teeth there, some not) and “wide range of grotesque facial expressions,” according to an Associated Press dispatch. However, many in the crowd thought their favorite was even uglier and threatened to riot. “I am naturally ugly,” said a jealous (former winner) William Masvinu; “He (Sere) is ugly only when he opens his mouth.”

Names in the News Arrested for burglary, in Porthcawl, Wales, November: Christopher Badman. Charged in two shootings in Medina County, Texas, November: Shane Outlaw. Arrested for allegedly having sex with a child, in Springfield, Mass., December: Mr. Long Dinh Duong. Arrested for trespassing at a Budweiser brewery in St. Louis, Miss., December: Mr. Bud Weisser, 19. Credited with rescuing two women from a man who was terrifying strangers on the street in Toronto on Nov. 22: the local professional clown Doo Doo (Shane Faberman). (Bonus: Doo Doo was in costume when he made the rescue.) (Also in the news was a “Vietnamese man” supposedly named Phuc Dat Bich, who had trouble getting Facebook to register his name. Despite having several mainstream-media outlets gullibly cover his complaint in mid-November, he admitted a week later that the name is bogus.) A News of the Weird Classic (January 2011) Parents of the 450 pupils (aged 3-11) at Applecroft primary school in Welwyn Garden City, England, were given individualized yearbooks recently (2010) with all the children’s faces obscured by black bars over the eyes (except for photos of the recipient’s own children, which had no obstructions). The precautions (described by one parent as “creepy,” like kids were “prisoners”) were ordered by headmistress Vicky Parsley, who feared that clear photos of children would inevitably wind up in child pornography. The year before, Parsley had prohibited parents from taking photographs during school plays—of their kids or any others—for the same fear.

NEW YEAR’S EVE VERS

EVE

AT CLUB X

AT THE SALT PALACE

DECEMBER 31

DECEMBER 29, 30, 31

NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION W/

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LEATHER + LACE WINTERFEST DOORS AT 9PM

MOKIE & TALIA KEYS AT THE FALLOUT (625 S. 600 W.)

DECEMBER 31 8PM

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FT. KNIFE PARTY AT THE GREAT SALTAIR

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DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 15

Thanks This Week to Michael Brozyna, Bruce Leiserowitz, Paul Peterson, Robin Daley, Edgar Pepper, Neb Rodgers, Steve Dunn, Dan Bohlen, Peter Wardley, Joseph Brown, Brian Rudolph, Elaine Weiss, D.I. Moore, Jack Miller, Gwynne Platz, Charles Lewer, Dave Shepardson, Chuck Hamilton and Katy Miketic, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

UPCOMING EVENTS:

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Wait, What? Kuala Lumpur International Airport took out ads in two Malaysian daily newspapers in December to find the owners of three Boeing 747-200Fs parked there for months (one for at least a year) and threatening to auction them off in 14 days if not claimed. Two are white, and one is “off-white” (if the reader is checking his inventory). The planes’ last listed owner said it sold them in 2008.

n According to police, Ryan Liskow, 36, badly violating the crimenovel “rule” about not returning to the scene of the crime, is now awaiting trial for robbing the Sterling State Bank in Rochester, Minn., on Dec. 14 —and 15. An on-scene reporter for KIMT-TV was on the air on the 15th describing the first robbery, unaware that Liskow was inside robbing it again, and as Liskow emerged on foot with a bank employee in pursuit, reporter Adam Sallet helped point out Liskow, who was soon arrested.

n Cool Moms? 1. Jennifer Terry, 44, was charged with driving her daughter and several other minors around Riverdale, Utah, in August to facilitate their tossing eggs at 10 to 20 homes. Some damage was reported, but so far, Terry is the only one charged. 2. Mandy Wells, 32, told police that she thought “for a minute” that it was a bad idea, “but did it anyway”—she invited 10 kids (aged 12 to 14) to her home for a party and served beer and marijuana. Wells, of Springtown, Texas, said her daughter, 14, smokes marijuana because the girl (go figure!) suffers from depression.

Least Competent Criminals Matthew Riggins had told his girlfriend earlier that he and a pal were planning to burglarize some homes around Barefoot Bay in Brevard County, Fla., and was apparently on that mission on Nov. 23 when an alert resident called 911, and the men scrambled. The accomplice was caught several days later, but Riggins himself did not survive the night—having taken refuge in nearby woods and drowning trying to outswim an apparently hungry 11-foot alligator.

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n Even if Armageddon doesn’t happen, the CEO of the massive online retailer Overstock.com believes there is a “10 to 20 percent” chance of a world financial meltdown in the next few years, and he is arranging to be back in business in the aftermath. Patrick Byrnes told the New York Post in November he has stashed away enough food in a well-fortified facility in Utah’s Granite Mountain to serve his 2,000 employees for “30 to 60 days,” along with several thousand other emergency preparations and $10 million in gold. But, he insisted, he’s not a gun-toting “prepper”; the plan is only about tiding employees over until the Internet and banking systems are back up and running.

12.26 VERS PRESENTS FRUITCAKE AT CLUB X

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Leading Economic Indicators Following the release of Apple’s yearly financials in October (and based on sales of its iPhone 6), the company announced that, apart from other assets, it was sitting on $206 billion in cash— about the entire gross domestic product of Venezuela—all in cash. Another way of expressing it: Using only its cash, Apple could buy every single NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL team, plus the 20 most valuable international soccer teams—and still have plenty left. Or, as the BGR.com blog also pointed out, it could instead simply give every man, woman and child in America $646 (coincidentally, about what a new iPhone 6 sells for).

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THE ZION

ZODIAC

A local astrologer looks to the stars to see what 2016 has in store.

16 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

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By Christopher Renstrom • comments@cityweekly.net

strology is not a science. Astrology is not a religion. What astrology is, is a calendar. It’s why every great civilization on this planet—be it Mesopotamian, Mesoamerican, Chinese or Indian—created some form of astrology. It was in order to tell time. In astrology, everything is seen from the Earth’s point of view. We know, scientifically speaking, that planets orbit the Sun, the star at the center of our solar system. However, in astrology, the horoscope (or astrological chart) is set up to show that the planets orbit the Earth. It’s not such a farfetched concept when you consider how the Sun rises in the east in the morning, travels across the sky during the day, and then sets in the west at night. In fact, we can tell time based on where the Sun is in the sky. This is exactly what ancient astrologers did. Only they added an entire cast of characters to their celestial clock. In addition to the Sun, there was the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. Each of these “planets” rose in the east, traveled across the nighttime sky and set in the west. Sort of. Orbital speeds being different, there were times when some planets disappeared from view altogether because they were traveling across the sky during the day and therefore invisible to the naked eye. But records were made of the planetary orbits, and these were used to predict risings, settings, disappearances, reappearances, retrogrades, apogees and perigees. All of this was cataloged and recorded exhaustively by court astrologers who were the forerunners to astronomers. Astronomy wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for astrology. Neither would trigonometry, for that matter. Hipparchus—the “father” of trigonometry—was a practicing astrologer. He used trigonometry to accurately predict solar and lunar eclipses. These were important events in astrological prediction. Astrology is often portrayed as the favorite bogeyman of the superstitious. It’s said that astrology takes away the freedom of choice and demands we cower to the planets. However, astrology gave us our first calendar, one that showed it took about 365 days for the Sun to return to the place in the sky where it was when we began clocking it. And when you divided those 365 days into quarters you came up with the

equinoxes and solstices—pivotal points that described when the Sun was “rising” (spring), at its “noontime” point (summer), “setting” (autumn), and then its “midnight” point (winter), when days were shortest and nights were longest. Now, you wouldn’t want to plant seeds in the winter or expect to reap a harvest in the spring. You could, but you wouldn’t be very successful. Astrology basically told you the time to launch your various ventures and enterprises. If there were a time to plant and a time to reap, then it only made sense that there was a time to go to war, to marry, to have a child, build a temple or make a major purchase or investment. Astrology doesn’t tell you what to do as much as it tells you when to do it. And that is the purpose that astrology still serves today. Think of it as a cosmic weather map and traffic report all wrapped up into one. Astrology’s purpose is to help you get to where you want to go based on the disposition of the planets. Are they helping or hindering you? If they’re hindering, what can you do about it? As you read your 2016 predictions, you will see for yourself the times of year that are auspicious and the times of year that are full of obstacles. This is no different than consulting the Weather Channel to see if you need an umbrella, or tuning into your radio station to see if you need to take an alternate route to get to work. Astrology is perhaps one of the greatest inventions that our civilization has ever conceived. No one has been put to death because astrology decreed it. Nor has anyone been excommunicated, persecuted, experimented on or nuked. Astrology is here to help us to realize our potential and maximize our resources. And it also teaches us that each person was born with an individual horoscope and is therefore a child of the stars. There are no borders or ideologies in the heavens—just stars to guide our ships by.

Christopher Renstrom


ARIES (MARCH 19-APRIL 18) Something’s got to give. You feel out of sync and out of sorts, and it’s this internal restlessness that’s driving loved ones, friends, and co-workers crazy. Nothing seems to sit right, which is why you’re resisting their advice and poking holes in their homespun wisdom. Clearly, the change you seek must come from within. But don’t expect any parting of the clouds, burning bushes or bolts from heaven to point the way. Thankfully, Mars in Scorpio on Jan. 3 gives you the gumption and drive to do whatever it takes to escape the rut you’re in. Indeed, you could be severing ties, pulling up stakes or relocating as early as Feb. 7. The end result will be you settling into a happier, healthier groove by your birthday. Unfortunately, Mars turns retrograde on April 17. Retrogrades are the “do-overs” in astrology, they signal a time when you will be pulled back into a situation that you thought you had wrangled free of. Mars retrogrades usually involve difficulties with men so you could be locking horns with a nasty competitor, a cheap boss or a deadbeat partner. Nevertheless, Mars—the warrior planet—is your astrological ruler, which means that you’ll come out on top in August. By September, you’ll once again feel like you’ve crossed the finish line only to be left wondering: Is that all there is? Somehow, the things you fought for just aren’t fulfilling you like you thought they would. You may feel like you should embark on a different path in November and December—something more spiritual and exotic?—but the stars show that the answer you seek lies closer to home. Have you thought about giving back? Consider doing volunteer work, mentoring or coaching. Helping people to help themselves may connect you to that higher purpose you’ve been searching for.

GEMINI (MAY 20-JUNE 19) This year’s eclipses occur in both the highest and lowest points of your horoscope auguring dramatic ups and downs. Thankfully, you were born under quick-witted Mercury so, if anyone can turn a setback into a stride forward or exploit the thinnest sliver of opportunity, it’s you. The solar eclipse on March 8 shows you taking charge of your destiny. You may graduate from school, master a discipline you’ve been practicing or assume a role that you’ve been preparing for. This is also when you will claim something that is rightfully yours—like a title, an entitlement or even a piece of property. The period between March 23 and May 26 shows you struggling with the consequences of this action. We are often told to be careful what we wish for because it might just come true; St. Teresa of Avila once said: “More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones.” But, then again, Geminis are famous for turning life’s lemons into lemonade and then selling it at a profit. Saturn, the planet of trials and tribulations, will continue to weigh heavily on your relationships. This often coincides with romantic dry spells or times where you and your partner act more like roommates than lovers. Thankfully, Jupiter’s change of signs in September will revive your love life from that coma it’s been under. September also shows a major shift in your home, family life and ties to the past thanks to the lunar eclipse on Sept. 16. This carries you through the end of the year as you’ll be working to get your house in order both figuratively and literally. Clearing away the deadwood isn’t easy, but you’re doing this in order to set up the life you want to live. If there was ever a time to make bold moves, it’s in December.

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DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 17

“Change is good.” That’s your mantra for 2016. This won’t be an easy concept to wrap your mind around because you value security over risk and consistency over caprice. But, there comes a time when doing the same old, same old just doesn’t cut it anymore. It’s something to think about on March 23 when the lunar eclipse shows that you can’t get to where you want to be unless you cut ties with a situation that’s been stifling you. It’s a hard choice but an easy decision because you’ll get your life back. And with that comes a flood of opportunities. The period March 23 to Sept. 9 is an extraordinary time. If you’ve been casting about for a new direction in your career—like exploring another line of work or applying for a job out of state—then this is when you will meet with success. If you’ve been looking to launch a business, then the alignment of planets couldn’t be more favorable. But don’t ignore the opportunities that lie close at hand. You don’t have to walk out on everything to reinvent yourself. Consider taking up an old talent that’s been collecting dust. You may find that you have a better feel for it now than you did before. Life at home improves in October and November when you decide to move with the forces of change rather than try to stop them in their tracks. Like you, loved ones are also undergoing a shift in their outlook, mindset and beliefs. These developments are rarely graceful—especially with people we see every day—which is why you should encourage them to explore new paths rather than lead them back down familiar routes. It’s an incredible test of faith, but love is about trusting that everything will work out for the best.

You were born under a peace-loving sign. You have a “live and let live” attitude and you pride yourself on being a low-maintenance personality. Hardworking and protective, you’re everyone’s go-to Rock of Gibraltar. The only things you ask for in return are respect, peace of mind, and for people to keep their hands off your stuff. Unfortunately Mars, the planet of strife, will be mixing it up in your horoscope throughout 2016. It’s Mars’ job to test your mettle by provoking you to fight for what’s yours. This will be especially evident from January to March when you will have to confront a colleague who’s horning in on your turf or a business partner who’s making a grab for more than his fair share. You will prevail because if anyone knows how to block an unstoppable force, it’s an immoveable you. But be forewarned that relations with your nearest and dearest will be strained from May 27 to Aug. 2 when Mars is moving in and out of retrograde. This is when the people who are burdening you with their troubles just can’t help themselves. They really are going through a rough patch. They could be out of work, short on funds, not in the best of health or weathering a very painful episode that leaves them feeling depressed and overwhelmed. Be patient and supportive because the gloom will lift in September. The years ends on a high note when you are approached by a headhunter or a high-profile agency. This is your chance to showcase your talents in a different setting and increase your earning power. The only catch is that it may require a move. That could be a deal-breaker, but meet with this person, anyway. At least, it provides an ego boost at a time when you could use it.

CANCER (JUNE 20-JULY 21)

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TAURUS (APRIL 19-MAY 19)


LEO (JULY 22-AUG. 21)

This year, you make the switch from identifying with exterior values to placing more importance on your interior ones. Contrary to what spiritual workshops say, we don’t really grow because we want to; we grow because we have to. Mars retrograde in Scorpio from May 27 to June 29 introduces a deeply personal crisis that will force you to take back the reins of your life. Born under the zodiac sign of marriage and partnership, you tend to yield the field to a lover or spouse in order to make your relationship work. You don’t do this to be selfsacrificing. You just believe that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Unfortunately, your partner isn’t functioning at full capacity due to an intensely private matter, psychological baggage or financial difficulties. This is when you need to put this person in the passenger seat and take hold of the wheel. It will be up to you to do the driving for both of you until late August when you’ll be on the other side of this energy. Jupiter, the planet of good fortune and higher purpose, enters Libra on Sept. 9. Named after the Roman god of rain and fertility, Jupiter showers good fortune upon you in order to make things grow. If you think of yourself as a start-up company, then Jupiter would be your financial backer. He will invest in you, but only as long as you follow a path that leads to maximizing and fulfilling your potential. And this is where the higher-purpose part of Jupiter comes in. Be true to the highest in yourself and you will make more headway between August 2016 and October 2017 than you have in years. Stray from that path, however, and you will see the lucky breaks and money dry up.

18 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

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Leos are ruled by the Sun, the universal source of heat, light and life. This is what gives you your warmth, charisma and indefatigable optimism. It’s also what makes you a people magnet. Like flowers craning their stems to drink in solar rays, people will turn to you for recognition, approval and love. They feel emboldened and enlivened when they’re around you. It must feel wonderful to be adored, but it also can get exhausting because you’re expected to be “on” 24/7. Your boss expects you to get the job done, friends come to you with their wrongs that need to be righted and loved ones rely on you to heal their emotional wounds. It can get to be too much if you don’t set boundaries. Your powers of resuscitation will be put to the test from April 17 to Aug. 2. This is when you will be locked in a struggle over an intensely personal family matter. A parent may face a serious crisis, a loved one may be in desperate need or your household may be unraveling before your eyes. You will feel like you aren’t doing enough to hold things together, but you are. Just showing up and being in this person’s corner will be all it takes. Things may not turn out the way that you want, but they won’t be as bad as you feared. In September, you will experience a major shift in planetary energies. After months of feeling like you’ve been running in place getting nowhere fast, you will experience a dramatic push forward. It’s like all of those long hours, compromises and sacrifices you made will suddenly pay off and you’ll be making progress in your life thanks to a one-time offer or opportunity in October. This is just the beginning of better things to come in 2017.

LIBRA (SEPT. 22-OCT. 21)

VIRGO (AUG. 22-SEPT. 21) The year gets off to a boisterous start thanks to Jupiter, the planet of good fortune and higher purpose, being in your sign. Jupiter will be showering you with its blessings from January through August. Not only will you experience an increase in cash flow (especially in January and May), but you’ll also emerge from that romantic dry spell you’ve been in. Named after the Roman god of storms and fertility, Jupiter will bring much needed replenishment to that parched landscape of your horoscope. Indeed, May 3-14 could be as good as it gets when it comes to matters of the heart. Eclipses in March and September are make-or-break times for you, triggering dramatic changes in your life. You’ll have to decide between the same familiar dead-end choices or embarking on something new. Jupiter in Virgo gives you an opportunity to get back in touch with your higher purpose and utilize your spiritual strengths and creative powers. This isn’t easy for someone who identifies with his to-do list. The Saturn/Neptune square on Sept. 10 frees you from a long-term obligation that’s been draining your time, energy and resources. The not-so-good news is that you won’t have the clearest idea of what to do next—especially since this obligation (maybe it’s was a thankless job or loveless relationship) gave you your sense of security and social status. Now the danger would be to go and find a situation like the one you’re leaving while the more creative challenge would be to invest your energy in the things that you truly want to do. This is where your powers of visualization will make all the difference. Hold these images of the life you want to live firmly in your mind, and you’ll see them begin to materialize in November.

SCORPIO (OCT. 22-NOV. 20) Ruling planet Mars enters Scorpio on Jan. 3. This is good because you’ll feel motivated, confident, and ready to take on life’s challenges—like Popeye after gulping down a can of spinach. Not only are you in peak form from Jan. 3 to March 3, but you’ll be making up for lost ground. If there are any love interests you want to pursue, sales you want to make or ventures you want to launch, then this is your window of opportunity. All of this changes on April 17 when Mars turns retrograde. A retrograde refers to a time when the planetary energy reverses itself. Instead of being gung-ho and driven, you will start to feel like you’re losing momentum and that things are coming to a standstill. This may be based on dwindling support, or people may actually be thwarting your aims. You’ll want to retaliate, but take a chill pill instead. You’re not going to get what you want from May 27 to June 27, anyway, and some heavy soul searching might be in order. Scorpios tend to adopt a “do-or-die” approach to getting what they want, and your scorched-Earth policy—especially when it comes to business—may be taking its toll. Scorpios are aggressive, but they’re also fiercely loving and deeply compassionate. Open your heart and try seeing things from another person’s point of view. Your sensitivity isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. This is something that will help you to rebuild a bridge with a loved one on Sept. 16. Bear in mind that with all of our talk of target markets and financial objectives, it’s easy to lose the people for the demographic. Introduce more of that humanity into the way you do business and you will see your numbers soar in November and December.


SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 21-DEC. 20)

It looks like those self-help mantras and pep talks in the mirror just aren’t cutting it for you, anymore. That’s because Saturn, the planet of trials and tribulations, is traveling through your zodiac sign. Astrology’s version of a wet blanket, Saturn dampens your enthusiasm, undermines your confidence, and sits like a monkey on your back. Expect Saturn to cast a long shadow of doubt from January to March 23. Astrologers regard Saturn as a teacher and not a tyrant; a builder, not a destroyer. But Saturn can’t build on a weak foundation. It has to rip out the deadwood first. These can be failed dreams, outworn relationships or self-defeating behavior patterns. Saturn doesn’t change you. Saturn makes you repeat the same routines until you are so sick and tired of being sick and tired that you make necessary changes simply because you can’t stand it anymore. On May 26, the real work begins. Some of you Sagittarians may try to walk out on your job, your marriage or your responsibilities during this time. Good luck with that, because you won’t get very far. That’s because Saturn closes off the escape routes so that you’re forced to make something of your circumstances. You see, it’s the limited choices that make us resourceful, it’s adversity that introduces us to strengths we never knew we had. Signs of intelligent life reappear in your universe on Sept. 9 when Jupiter enters Libra. That’s when a stalled promise or a pledge comes through and your rekindled hope will blaze. Instead of things leaving your life, you’ll see things enter it—but these will be things that you had tried before but didn’t pursue, such as an unrealized talent, a forsworn aspiration or even an impossible love. These are the rejected stones that you will use to build your new foundation in 2017.

PISCES (FEB. 18-MARCH 18)

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Christopher Renstrom is the creator of RulingPlanets.com, a subscription-based interactive astrology website adapted from his best-selling book Ruling Planets, published by HarperCollins in 2002. Christopher also writes daily horoscopes for The San Francisco Chronicle and SFGate.com. He created and wrote the horoscope column for Allure magazine from 1991 through 2009. Now the exclusive astrologer for Patti Stanger (the Millionaire Matchmaker), his weekly forecasts appear on Sheknows.com. Christopher teaches astrology classes and workshops here in Salt Lake City.

Life isn’t treating you as nicely as it once did. The cash flow doesn’t flow, the romantic interests don’t interest and even things you took for granted—like your talent, inspiration and vision—leave you feeling unmoved. Has your creative well run dry? You can blame Saturn at the top of your solar horoscope for this malaise. The planet of fear and anxiety, Saturn stirs up our doubts and insecurities. You may feel like your time has come and gone, that circumstances will always thwart you, or that you’ll never realize your true potential. And you’re right. This will happen if you keep turning your back on who you are. Saturn’s job is to scare you straight. Like the Ghost of Christmas Future in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol or the Guardian Angel Clarence in It’s a Wonderful Life, Saturn’s aim is to show you what will happen if you don’t wake up and smell the coffee. This comes to a head on March 23 when the Saturn/Jupiter square presages a health scare, a monetary fiasco or a close brush with disaster. You’ll survive it, of course, because the point is to rock your world and change your outlook. The result will be a braver bolder you. You will start to fight for the things you want because they suddenly matter. If there were ever a time to show people what you are capable of, then June 26 through Aug. 7 is it. You will showcase your talents like never before. Aug. 24 is the time to break things off if you feel like you’re in a relationship that’s been holding you back or bringing you down. And, finally, the lunar eclipse in September sets the stage for a productive and fulfilling fall where you will see for yourself that it’s better to be it than to dream it. CW

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(DEC. 21-JAN. 19) This year looks wonky. It will feel like the universe is being contrary for contrary’s sake, but it isn’t. What’s going on is that the stars are changing the game plan by moving the field posts. You won’t like it. Born under the sign of the mountain goat, you set your sights high and push yourself to reach the summit. However, your ruling planet, Saturn, is traveling through the most deeply soulful part of your solar chart. It insists that to find the truths you seek, you must turn within. That’s a problem because you don’t do navel-gazing. Nevertheless, you’ll be asking some big philosophical questions on March 23 when you find yourself at a crossroads. You’re really great at your day job. You meet the deadlines, deliver the goods and move the ball down the field. But a to-do list is not a higher purpose. For that, you have to lift your nose up from the grindstone and take a look at the life you’ve created. Isn’t there a project, a venture or a dream that you’ve always wanted to do but kept putting off because it’s too far-fetched? September is a turning point for you. This is when you make changes in your lifestyle and schedule so that you can do what you were always meant to do. You’ll want to start out small and build momentum over time. On Nov. 19, you will get a big confirmation from the universe that you are on the right track. Maybe it’s that record company calling you back, a backer stepping forward with a check, or orders coming in for a business you started on the side. In any case, it will be proof positive that it’s never too late to live the life you want to live instead of the one you feel you have to live.

(JAN. 20-FEB. 17)

You’ll be in peak form from January to April when Mars, the planet of gumption and drive, arcs over your solar mid-heaven. Mars is the planet of “what I want” in astrology. When Mars sets its sights on something it wants, it pursues it with the single-minded focus of a heat-seeking missile. This is the time to push for what you want, to strike a hard bargain and to climb as many rungs on that ladder of success as you can grasp. Mars is unapologetically aggressive and you will need to be the same way if you want to be successful in love and money. On April 17, you’ll experience an immediate drop in energy—not unlike the fatigue that follows the endorphin rush of a really good workout. You’ll feel like you should keep pushing yourself, but don’t. Focus on protecting your interests instead, because they may be under fire when Mars re-enters Scorpio on May 27. This portends difficulties with men in positions of power. Maybe you were too bold, brusque or radical in your approach. In any case, it would be a good idea to remember that men have oversensitive egos. Give them a share of the spoils of their victory—like credit, acknowledgement or even a cut of the action—and they’ll be fine. Jupiter enters Libra on Sept. 9. This planet is often connected to travel, and you’ll be doing a lot of it in September and October. Evidently, you’re quite a hit with people who live out of state or in another country altogether. Maybe you wowed them with a presentation, your wise advice or unmatched expertise. This could result in you being poached by year’s end. Even if you don’t follow through, it will provide you with a bargaining chip or a trump card that’s worth playing in 2017.

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CAPRICORN

AQUARIUS


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ENTERTAINMENT PICKS DEC. 31, 2015- JAN. 6, 2016

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THURSDAY 12.31

THURSDAY 12.31

FRIDAY 1.1

New Year’s Eve is overflowing with events for any interest. Some will partake of adult beverages at one of the many clubs; others will savor the cold, counting down under a disco ball; still others will be at home avoiding both, just enjoying whatever may be on TV as the clock hits midnight. But for those seeking a night of fun that doesn’t require six shots or three scarves, the Watchtower Café offers an alternative that’s hard to pass up. From 7 p.m. to midnight, the geekythemed coffee shop will host a five-hour gaming session. Bring whatever you’d like, or take part in the many board games available inside. Join a giant group of people playing Cards Against Humanity (or one of its 30 knockoffs), challenge someone to Simpsons Chess, or find out who the werewolves might be in One Night: Ultimate Werewolf. Or perhaps board-gaming isn’t your thing. No worry, the lounge will have a TV ready to go with whatever gaming systems you’d like to bring to the night’s pleasures. Hook up an SNES and go head-to-head in old school Mario Kart, or bring in a PS4 and show off your Metal Gear Solid 5 skills. The staff will be serving drinks and food choices all the way until midnight. Then, much as the old Semisonic song goes, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” (Gavin Sheehan) New Year’s Eve Game Night @ Watchtower Café, 1588 S. State, 801-4777671, Dec. 31, 7 p.m.-midnight, free, all ages. Watchtower-Cafe.com

Sarah is a kindergarten teacher, a nice Jewish girl who still very much wants to please her parents. So, when Sarah’s mother and father invite her boyfriend home for the holidays, Sarah needs to do some quick thinking. Her parents are expecting a Jewish doctor, but in reality, he’s Chris Kringle, a WASP executive. Written by James Sherman, Beau Jest premiered at the Victory Gardens Theater in Chicago in 1989 and was quickly grabbed up by a producer in New York, where the show had a two and a half-year run off-Broadway, despite bad reviews. But, since that New York debut more than two decades ago, the comedy continues to find appreciative audiences around the country— including at Hale Centre Theatre, where it returns following a 2014 run. Beau Jest certainly uses a timeless formula to produce laughs, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. After all, mixed-up identities and false suitors have made for great comedy since the time of Shakespeare, and Sarah’s situation seems particularly desperate. After promising to bring home her nonexistent Jewish boyfriend, she employs an escort service to get a Jewish date for the trip home. Instead, they send aspiring actor Bob Schroeder. Bob knows nothing about celebrating the Seder but is willing to play along. Whether or not he’s a convincing actor, the parents will get to decide. (Katherine Pioli) Beau Jest @ Hale Centre Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, Dec. 31-Jan. 30, Monday through Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinees, 12:30 p.m. & 4 p.m.; $16-29. HCT.org

There are a lot of ways a performer can deal with a tough audience. It’s particularly tough, however, when that audience is literally judging you. But that didn’t stop comedian Taylor Williamson when, during the 2013 season of America’s Got Talent, judge Heidi Klum remained unimpressed, saying that she was “looking for an act that I can go and see with my family.” He came back for the semi-finals with material he told Klum was specifically tailored to be “childappropriate”—like, “Anyone here ever go to grade school? … You know how they call them ‘number two’ pencils? That’s disgusting.” Williamson may only have been the runner-up in that competition, but he has taken that same sensibility—a meek and nervous demeanor mixed with a somewhat demented sense of humor— and turned it into a thriving stand-up career. He can take a riff on online dating—as he did on his 2012 debut CD Laughter? I Hardly Know Her!— and turn it into a bizarre tale of a woman plunging off a cliff into water filled with piranhas. And he can take the story of finding a mouse in his apartment, and let it evolve into a twisted lesson in making sure you get your money’s worth from a mousetrap. If the key to comedy is surprise, Williamson understands how to keep his audience on their toes. This delightfully inappropriate humor may not be what you’d expect from an innocent-looking guy in a hoodie. Just ask Heidi Klum. (Scott Renshaw) Taylor Williamson @ Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Jan. 1-2, 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., $20. WiseguysComedy.com

Watchtower Café New Year’s Eve Game Night

Hale Centre Theatre: Beau Jest Taylor Williamson

SATURDAY 1.2

Utah Symphony New Year’s Celebration

Every year, there are savvy souls who opt to delay their Christmas celebration until a day or two after Dec. 25. Sometimes, it’s because that’s the only time a family can be all together. Sometimes, it’s a way to get post-Christmas bargains. And sometimes, it’s just to take the pressure off and allow for more enjoyment when you don’t have to race the rest of the world to the stores. If you’ve ever had similar thoughts about New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, the Utah Symphony has you covered. In 1939, a New Year’s Day tradition began at the Vienna Philharmonic, with the popular music of Johann Strauss II migrating from private homes to the symphony hall. This week, the Utah Symphony honors that tradition, but does so a day later, allowing for a party after all the other parties. The program highlights the polkas and waltzes of Strauss the younger, including such beloved works as The Blue Danube (perhaps most popularly known for its inclusion in the film 2001: A Space Odyssey) and the overture to Die Fledermaus. The Feuerfest polka by Strauss’s brother, Josef, will also be featured, along with Prokofiev’s “New Year’s Eve Ball” from War and Peace. And then there’s Franz Lehár’s Merry Widow waltz and the “Meine Lippen, sie küssen so heiss” aria from Giuditta—the latter performed by Utah native soprano Celena Shafer (pictured). Spread out your New Year’s festivities, and start 2016 off with a one-two-three, one-two-three. (Scott Renshaw) Utah Symphony New Year’s Celebration @ Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, Jan. 2, 7 p.m., $18-$80. UtahSymphony.org


GET OUT

Powder Report

On the heels of the first winter storms, here’s what’s new at Utah resorts. BY KATHERINE PIOLI comments@cityweekly.net

Christening the Quicksilver Gondola.

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DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 21

Pinecone Ridge and drops them into mostly intermediate-level groomed runs. The gondola opened to riders on Dec. 17. On the opposite side of the spectrum, Brighton Resort this year has clarified the parameters under which skiers can access its slopes for no money at all. Consider that Brighton and most other resorts in the United States are on public land owned by the U.S. Forest Service (the former PCMR, for example, is leasing private land owned by Talisker Corp.). Logically, this means that skiers should have access to resort property on public lands all season long, even without a lift ticket, as long as they don’t use resort infrastructure and services like lifts and ski-patrol-rescue services. But, most resorts will turn away hikers as a matter of “safety.” Brighton’s willingness to accommodate nonticketed skiers is, therefore, extremely commendable, and its new uphill-travel policy does a great job of balancing skier safety and public access. The uphill-travel policy is designed with a red light/green light system to indicate when the slopes are open to hikers (it’s posted at the resort and online), and has designated uphill travel routes and rules of conduct. Another interesting development in the local ski scene is the grand opening of state’s newest ski resort, Cherry Peak, in Richmond, a 20-minute drive north of Logan. Cherry Peak is the first new resort in Northern Utah since Deer Valley opened in 1981. Built by local resident John Chadwick, on land owned by the Chadwick family since the 1960s, the resort is just what you’d expect from a little mom-and-pop venture. Its two triple-chair lifts access a modest 200-acres of terrain, and between 800 and 1,200 vertical feet, depending on who you’re talking to. Cherry Peak is opening to mixed reactions from local residents, some of whom brought lawsuits against the resort out of concern over limited backcountry access and impacts to the water supply, local roads, wildlife and hunting (the resort sits between the Richmond Wildlife Management Area and the Mount Naomi Wilderness). But the Chadwick family persevered, and is now welcoming skiers, for a $49 day lift ticket, to check out their slopes. Don’t come on Sunday unless you want to hike for your turns; Cherry Peak is closed “for religious reasons” on the Sabbath. CW

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T

he El Niño winter is hitting northern Utah pretty square-on this year—a welcome development considering the past few dismal snow years, and the fact that El Niño only guarantees a good snow season in the Southwestern states. But, now that it is actually snowing, don’t waste any more precious time. Give thanks by clipping back into your bindings and checking out what’s happening on Utah’s finest resort ski slopes. Several significant changes have taken place this year—and some of us might be better poised to take advantage of them than others. For starters, probably the biggest news is the merger between the former Park City Mountain Resort and Canyons Resort under the ownership of Vail Resorts, a mega company that owns a total of 11 mountain operations in Utah, Colorado, California, Nevada, Minnesota and Michigan. Under the direction of the Vail Management Co., the merger of PCMR (now called the Base Area) and Canyons (now called Canyon Village) has created 7,300 acres of skiing, which they claim is the single largest ski resort in North America—but officially, it has several hundred acres less than British Columbia’s Whistler at 8,171 acres. The biggest problem for most locals, however, will be coughing up the $122 oneday lift ticket, a price that reflects not only the elite nature of the new super-resort, but also all the money that Vail has dumped into the acquisition. Vail bought PCMR for $182.5 million in cash after years of expensive litigation with the resort’s former leaseholder, Powdr Corp. In addition, Vail poured $50 million into mountain improvement projects, the most necessary of which was the new Quicksilver Gondola that links the two resorts. Accessed from mid-mountain, at the base of the Silverlode Express lift on the PC side and from base of Flat Iron lift on Canyons side, the 8 1/2-minute gondola ride carries skiers over the top of

A&E


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MONDAY 1.4

Jr. Underground: The Next Gen

22 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

Chamber Music Series Kaysville Tabernacle, 198 W. Center St., Kaysville, 801-543-2814, Jan. 5, 7:30 p.m., DavisArts.com Utah Symphony New Year’s Celebration Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-3552787, Jan. 2, 7 p.m., UtahSymphony.org, see p. 20

COMEDY & IMPROV

The start of a new year, for many of us, is a time to look forward, to think about the future and all it may hold. And maybe that can include supporting the future of the arts. Jr. Underground—a new project created and mentored by United We Dance’s Underground Crew (pictured)—makes its public debut with The Next Gen, an 70-minute program of new works created by the youth dancers, thematically connected to “the light and strength of the youth today.” The 40-member group is made up of dancers ages 8-17 from a variety of cultures, brought together with a goal of teaching them a variety of dance techniques and styles, and preparing them to perform in a professional setting. Just like this one. Emerge from your post-holiday cocoon, and look toward the next generation. (Scott Renshaw) Jr. Underground: The Next Gen @ Rose Wagner Center Black Box Theater, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, Jan. 4, 7:30 p.m., $10 general admission. ArtSaltLake.org

Improvables CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, Tuesday, 10 p.m., 801450-7189, Facebook.com/The.Improvables.Utah Comedy Open Mic Sandy Station, 8925 S. Harrison St., Sandy, 801-255-2078, Sunday, 8 p.m., SandyStation.com Comedy Sportz Comedy Sportz, 36 West Center St., Provo, 801-377-9700, Thursday-Saturday, 8 p.m., ComedySportzUtah.com Gallagher Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, 435-649-9371, through Jan. 2, 8 p.m., EgyptianTheatreCompany.org Jeff Dye Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Dec. 30-31, 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., WiseGuysComedy.com John Moyer Wiseguys Ogden, 269 Historic 25th St, 801-622-5588, Dec. 31; Jan. 2, 8 p.m., WiseGuysComedy.com Taylor Williamson Wiseguys Downtown, 194 South 400 West, 801-532-5233, Jan. 1-2, 7:30 p.m.; 9:30 p.m.. WiseGuysComedy.com, see p. 20

PERFORMANCE THEATER Beau Jest Hale Centre Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Dr., West Valley City, 801-984-9000, Dec. 31-Jan. 30, Monday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m., except New Year’s Eve, with performances 6 p.m. & 10 p.m.; matinees Saturday, 12:30 p.m. & 4 p.m.; HCT.org, see p. 20 The Nerd Hale Center Theater, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, Dec. 31-Feb. 6, Monday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m. except New Year’s Eve; New Year’s Eve, 10 p.m.; Saturday matinee, 3 p.m.; HaleCenter.org You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown Terrace Plaza Playhouse, 99 E. 4700 South, Ogden, 80-1-393-0070, through Feb. 6, 2016; Thursday, Saturday & Monday, 7:30 p.m.; New Year’s Eve performance, Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m.; TerracePlayhouse.com

DANCE Jr. Underground: The Next Gen Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, Jan. 4, 7:30 p.m., ArtSaltLake.org, see above

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moreESSENTIALS

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Urban Vapor is home to the most affordable liquid in the State, Clouds4less Premium E-liquid, $20 60mls, refillible for $10 Complete remodel done in April 2015. Come check out the new Urban Vapor.

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LITERATURE LITERARY EVENTS

Eric James Stone: Unforgettable Barnes & Noble, 330 E. 1300 South, Orem, 801-229-1611, Jan. 5, 7 p.m., BarnesandNoble.com New Year’s Day Sale The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, Jan. 1, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., KingsEnglish.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKETS

Downtown Winter Market Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande Street, alternate Saturdays through April 23, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., SLCFarmersMarket.org

NEW YEAR’S EVENTS

Black & White Masquerade Ball Park City Live, 427 Main St., Park City, 435-649-9123, Dec. 31, 9 p.m., ParkCityLive.net EVE Winter Fest Downtown SLC, various locations, 801-333-1133, Dec. 29-30, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Dec. 31, 10 a.m.-11:30 p.m., EveSLC.com Guys & Dolls New Year’s Eve Party Red Lion Hotel Salt Lake City Downtown, 161 West 600 South, starts 6 p.m. for “Swanky” ($60) and “Spifficated” ($169) packages; starts 8 p.m. for “High Sprites” ($30) package; party runs till late; New Years Eve Torchlight Parade & Fireworks Snowbird Resort, Highway 210, Little Cottonwood Canyon, Snowbird, 801-933-2222, Dec. 31, 3 p.m.-1 a.m., Snowbird.com New Year’s Day Japa-thon Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple, 311 W. 8500 South, Spanish Fork, 801-798-3559, Jan. 1, noon, UtahKrishnas.org New Year’s Eve Dinner Harvest Restaurant, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-768-2300, 5-9 p.m., ThanksgivingpPoint.org New Year’s Eve Torchlight Parade Alta Ski Area, Highway 210 Little Cottonwood Canyon, Alta, 435-633-1394, Dec. 31, 5-7 p.m., DiscoverAlta.com Night Bright! Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-768-2300, Dec., 31, 8:30 p.m.-midnight, ThanksgivingPoint.org

Noon Year’s Eve Celebration! Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, 801-5814303, Dec. 31, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., NHMU.utah.edu Official NYE 2016 After-Hours Latin Party Infinity Event Center, 26 E. 600 South, 801-935-4034, Jan. 1, 1:30 a.m.-5 a.m., InfinityEventCenter.com

SEASONAL EVENTS

Christmas in Color Ed Mayne St./Oquirrh Park, 5624 S. Cougar Lane, Kearns, through Jan. 2, Monday-Saturday, ChristmasInColor.net Christmas Village Municipal Gardens, 25th St. Grant Avenue, Ogden, 801-399-4357, through Jan. 1, OgdenCity.com DecemberFest The Canyons, 4000 Canyons Resort Drive, Park City, 800-222-7275, through Jan. 3, ParkCityMountain.com Festival of Lights Spanish Fork City, 40 South Main Street City Hall, Spanish Fork, 801-8044500, through Jan. 1, 6-10 p.m., SpanishFork.org Holiday Lights Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-768-2300, through Dec. 31, 6-10 p.m., ThanksgivingPoint.org ZooLights Hogle Zoo, 2600 E. Sunnyside Ave., through Dec. 31, gates open 5:30 p.m. daily except Christmas Day; Sunday-Wednesday & Christmas Eve, till 8 p.m.; Thursday-Saturday, till 5:30 p.m.; HogleZoo.com

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

24 Hours in China: Photography from the China Overseas Exchange Association Part One Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-5248200, through Jan. 10, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. A Visual Feast Horne Fine Art Exhibit, 142 E. 800 South, 801-533-4200, through Dec. 31, 6-9 p.m., HorneFineArt.com Benjamin Gaulon: Corrupt.Yourself Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Jan. 16, UtahMoca.org Brian Bress: Make Your Own Friends Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-581-7332, through Jan. 10, UMFA.Utah.edu Brian Christensen: Reconfigure CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, 385-215-6768, through Feb. 7; CUArtCenter.org Cheryl Sandoval: Steps from the Reservation Mestizo Institute of Culture & Arts, 631 W. North Temple, Suite 700, 801-596-0500, through Jan. 9, MestizoArts.org Colors of the Season Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through Jan. 10, ArtAtTheMain.com Firelei Baez: Patterns of Resistance Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Jan. 16, UtahMOCA.org From the Collection of Thomas M. Alder Charley Hafen Gallery, 1409 S. 900 East, 801521-7711, through Jan. 9, CharleyHafen.com Highlights of the Collection Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-5817332, Jan. 2-3, 1:30 p.m., UMFA.utah.edu Holiday Group Exhibition Slusser Gallery, 447 E. 100 South, 801-532-1956, through Jan. 8, MarkSlusser.com Inside: Out: solo exhibition by Lindsay Frei Alice Gallery, 617 East S. Temple, through Jan. 16, VisualArts.Utah.gov Jennifer Jo Deily: Mostly Wildlife Anderson Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, 801-594-8611, through Dec. 9, SLCPL.org Mark Thomas Palfreyman: Little Monsters: Scientific Illustrations Sprague Branch, 2131 S. 1100 East, 801-594-8640, through Jan. 18, SLCPL.org


Those Were the Meals, My Friends

DINE

ssen e t a Delic ant n a r Germ Restau & JOHN TAYLOR

Memorable dishes & eateries of 2015 BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

I

Copper Kitchen’s beef bourguignon

Catering available Catering Available

Open Mon-Wed: 9am-6pm Thu-Sat: 9am-9pm 20 W. 200 S. • (801) 355-3891

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THE OTHER PLACE

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Lunch & Dinner

HOMEMADE SOUP • GREEK SPECIALS GREEK SALADS • HOT OR COLD SANDWICHES KABOBS • PASTA • FISH • STEAKS • CHOPS GREEK PLATTERS & GREEK DESSERTS

Breakfast

OMELETTES | PANCAKES • GREEK SPECIALTIES

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the unsurpassed ahi spring rolls, made with sushi-grade ahi tuna, shredded cabbage, carrots, cilantro, basil, mung bean sprouts and scallions, all swaddled in a thick wonton and nori wrapper, then flash-fried and served with a heaping mound of jasmine rice topped with a pineapple slice and pickled ginger. Of all of this year’s new restaurants, however, none pleased me more than Manoli’s (402 E. 900 South, 801-532-3760, ManolisOn9th.com), with Executive Chef/ owner Manoli Katsanevas’ elevated and updated modern Greek-inspired fare. Just don’t come looking for gyros and souvlaki. And, let us not forget the new highaltitude options for dining during the 201516 ski season. At Deer Valley Resort’s (DeerValley.com) Silver Lake Lodge, Bald Mountain Pizza morphed into a pho bar and the sandwich deli became a taquería. Snowbird (Snowbird.com) opened its massive new Summit restaurant atop Hidden Peak, while Park City (ParkCityMountain. com) updated Red Pine Lodge and opened the all-new Miners Camp, serving a mix of focaccia pizzas, a Mediterranean menu, fresh-tossed artisan salads, upscale soups, chili and more, including a pub within the Camp. At Solitude (SkiSolitude.com), the Roundhouse is now the Himalayan Hut, offering lamb rogan josh, butter chicken, dal, naan and such. But, let us also not forget the tried-andtrue restaurants that helped pave the way for all of the newbies. In the past year, I was reminded of the importance of groundbreaking eateries such as Martine, Mazza, The Paris, Hearth, Avenues Bistro on Third, Feldman’s Deli, Bombay House, Caputo’s, Valter’s, Caffe Niche, Settebello, Squatters, From Scratch, Alamexo, Red Iguana, Gourmandise, Caffe Molise, Hell’s Backbone Grill, Takashi, Naked Fish, Moochie’s, The New Yorker, Eva’s and so many others to the ever-growing culinary scene here in the Beehive State. I can’t wait to see what delicious delights 2016 will bring. CW

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in tandem with Ryan Lowder—has created a unique, distinct menu at Copper Kitchen. Draper’s Oak Wood Fire Kitchen (715 E. 12300 South, 801-996-8155, OakWoodFireKitchen.com) put another notch in Utah’s ever-expanding pizza belt— and, as I wrote previously, the Margherita pizza there is as good as any I’ve ever tasted. But in addition to excellent pizza, the service is stellar. So are nonpizza offerings, such as homemade spaghetti and meatballs, and the seared salmon salad. Although it opened prior to 2015, it took me until then to discover the perfect pizzas at Jack’s Wood Fired Oven (265 N. Main, Logan, 435-754-7523, JacksWoodFiredOven.Blogspot.com). With fabulous wood-fired pizzas, addictive Lyon bread and economical pricing, Jack’s is almost always packed, and rightly so. In the summer of 2015, I discovered “glamping” at Conestoga Ranch (400 W. 300 North, Garden City, 844-464-5267, ConestogaRanch.com), near Bear Lake. This, I determined, is my kind of camping. In addition to luxury digs, there were no freeze-dried meals in sight. But Campfire Grill at Conestoga Ranch is an eatery with food and drink that could vie with some of Salt Lake City’s best restaurants. Chef Gustavo Suclla Schiaffino has quietly created a gourmet dining experience, nearly in the middle of nowhere. His Wagyu beef alone is worth the trip. True to its name, Laid Back Poke Shack (6213 S. Highland Drive, Holladay, 801-6358190) has a super-friendly and helpful staff. It is their pleasure to guide customers (and offer free samples) through the dozen or so daily poke offerings, which can range, on any given day, from shoyu ahi, ginger ahi, spicy ahi, oyster ahi, California spicy ahi, shoyu salmon, sesame calamari and kimchi tako, to sweet chili shrimp, kimchi mussels, taegu (Korean seasoned cod) and spicy snow crab. A second Porcupine Pub & Grille brings the popular Porcupine food, drink and service to the U of U neighborhood (258 S. 1300 East, 801-582-5555, PorcupinePub.com), and it’s been a hit ever since the doors opened. There’s an eclectic menu and wide range of offerings to choose from, but my favorite is

K!

t seems like just about every year for the past decade or so, I’ve reflected upon Utah’s dining and drink culture and, each year, I come away thinking that the year just concluded was even better than the one before. The restaurant scene here might not yet rival places like San Francisco or New York City, but it’s beginning to look a lot like Portland and Denver/Boulder. The food and service improve yearly, and chefs’ and restaurateurs’ attention to the use of local, organic and artisan ingredients has hit an alltime high. There was a time when I felt like an apologist for the Utah food scene; now I’m an enthusiast and cheerleader, thanks to all the hardworking—and often underpaid— food-and-drink industry folks out there breaking new Utah culinary ground. Of the restaurants that opened in 2015, none has made a bigger splash than Current Fish & Oyster (279 E. 300 South, 801326-3474, CurrentFishAndOyster.com). The eye-popping collaboration of Mikel Trap (Trio Restaurant Group) and Joel LaSalle (LaSalle Restaurant Group) took the old Salt Lake Antiques building and simultaneously restored and rebooted that venerable location in tandem with the Luna Design Group. The best news, though, is that executive chef Logen Crew’s cuisine rose to the level of the delightful décor, and his whole grilled branzino fish was one of the most satisfying dishes I enjoyed in the past year. In January 2015, I made my first excursion to Provisions (3364 S. 2300 East, 801-4104046, SLCProvisions.com). Not quite knowing what to expect from the space that was previously home to Lugäno, I was bowled over by the top-to-bottom, bold new décor of designer Rachel Hodson. And I was equally impressed by the bold cuisine of executive chef/owner Tyler Stokes, which includes his contemporary renditions of classics like steak tartare, and innovative ones like the pig’s head torchon. I’m betting that Provisions is here to stay. With Holladay’s Copper Kitchen (4640 S. 2300 East, 385-237-3159, CopperKitchenSLC. com), Ryan and Colleen Lowder built on the success of their popular Copper Onion and Copper Commons eateries downtown. But this is no Copper clone; chef Justin Nelson—

Das ist gut

G

DISHING OUT 2015


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k

Sa

BY TED SCHEFFLER

ar B e

Now

SAKE TASTINGS

Op

en

24 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

FOOD MATTERS

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Stein’s Chef on Today

Zane Holmquist, the longtime executive chef at Stein Eriksen Lodge (SteinLodge.com), made his fourth consecutive holiday season appearance NBC’s Today Christmas Day morning show. In the past, Holmquist has mostly cooked up holiday specialties such as Stein’s famous Norwegian potato and bacon pancake. For this year’s appearance, however, Holmquist chose to focus on four festive holiday drinks from the lodge’s award-winning Glitretind restaurant. The luscious libations prepared on the Today set included a Sparkling Pear Tree Champagne, a Turtle Hot Chocolate Float, a Hot Lemon Toddy and a Hot White Chocolate Delight. “I have loved every opportunity I’ve had to be a guest on Today,” Holmquist says. “It’s such an honor to be welcomed back each year and a great experience to share a portion of Stein Eriksen Lodge with millions of viewers.”

2335 E. MURRAY HOLLADAY RD 801.278.8682 | ricebasil.com

IT TAKES A

village TO CURB YOUR HUNGER!

Boulevard Bummer

Although I’ve written about restaurants and the food industry for more than 20 years, it’s still mostly a mystery to me why some die and others survive. To wit, Boulevard Bistro in Foothill Village has closed, despite its terrific food, drink, service and atmosphere—all offered at economical prices. What was not to love? The good news is that the Boulevard staff has been dispersed to positions at Toscano (11450 S. State, Draper), and to Bistro 222 and Caffe 222 (222 S. Main, Salt Lake City). All Boulevard Bistro gift certificates and coupons will be honored at the aforementioned locations. Bistro 222 also offers validated parking attached to the restaurant.

DED

U INCL NOT AGE

VILL

italianvillageslc.com 5370 S. 900 E. / 801.266.4182 M O N -TH U 11a-11p / F R I - SAT 11a-12a / S U N 3p-10p

Vinto Out; Handle In

Another restaurant I hate to see go is Vinto, which recently shuttered its Salt Lake City location. Vinto Park City remains open, however. While I mourn the loss of Vinto—as I do all restaurants that don’t make it—I look forward to the new occupants of the space at 418 E. 200 South. The folks at Park City’s Handle restaurant (HandleParkCity.com) are planning to open Handle in Salt Lake City sometime in February. Stay tuned for updates. Quote of the week: Anyhow, the hole in the doughnut is at least digestible. —H.L. Mencken Food Matters 411: teds@xmission.com

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AFTER NEW YEARS

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26 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Wines of the Year Most memorable sips of 2015 BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

U

nlike wine writers at publications like Wine Spectator, I don’t get cases of the biggest, bad-ass Bordeaux or luxury Burgundies sent to me to sample. Granted, I do on occasion get to taste wines that would be far beyond my budget, but for the most part, I purchase the wines I write about, and City Weekly graciously reimburses me for them. If there’s an upside to not being able to sip luxury wines all that often, it’s that I’m forced to discover highquality ones that are also affordable. So, here are a handful of the wines that left the biggest impression on me in 2015, most of them priced well within the average wine drinker’s budget. Keep in mind that not all of these wines are available

here all the time, but the UDABC welcomes special orders. I think the biggest bang-for-the-buck wine of the year was Mezzocorona Anterra Chardonnay delle Venezie IGT, Italy, priced at—and this isn’t a typo— $5.99. It’s a new product that isn’t easy to find in the United States, but we’re lucky to have it here in Utah on a trial basis. Buy a case or two to make sure it stays! My wife, who eschews cheap wine and has a very good palate, loves Anterra Chardonnay and was dumbfounded when I told her the price. She thought I’d splurged on something special. Well, it is special; it’s just not a splurge. Speaking of bargains, a couple of South African wines come to mind. First, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better quality Rosé sparkling wine for the price than Graham Beck Brut Rosé ($17) from South Africa’s Western Cape. There are gorgeous cherry and raspberry fragrances, and more red berries to kiss the palate. At Tupelo restaurant in Park City, I BYOB’d a bottle of wine and poured a splash for our sommelier. “This is lovely,” he remarked. That lovely wine was Bellingham Bernard Series Old Vine Chenin Blanc 2014 ($22), another South African wine. Made from 100 percent Chenin Blanc (South Africa’s most popular varietal) by maverick winemaker Bernard Podlashuk, the vines for this wine

DRINK average 43 years in age. Beautiful white peach and guava fragrances invite you in, while fruit-forward flavors on the palate—along with hints of oatmeal—entice you to sip, sip and sip some more. While I’m a longtime fan of Bonny Doon wines and winemaker/philosopher/wordsmith/raconteur Randall Grahm, I especially like the latest vintage of his Clos de Gilroy 2014 ($19). As Grahm puts it, Clos de Gilroy isn’t made from the “weapons-grade grenache” that he uses to produce Bonny Doon Le Cigare Volant. This is a softer, more feminine, spicy wine that’s mostly grenache, with a smidgeon of Mourvèdre and what Randall calls “a homeopathic amount of Syrah” blended in. It’s a wildly versatile food wine. Although Rick Longoria is best known as a California Pinot Noir pioneer, I really love his Longoria

Pinot Grigio 2014, Santa Barbara County ($14.99). This is no flimsy Pinot Grigio. It’s brimming with pear and apple on the nose, and on the palate offers ripe melon flavors along with crisp acidity to harmonize with the wine’s rich texture and flavors. It’s a slam dunk with most seafood dishes. Anyone who follows this column even remotely knows I’m an unrepentant fan of Rosé wines. I love them for their overall lightness and versatility. For a sunny taste of southern France, I recommend trying the 2014 Whispering Angel ($18.99) from Caves D’Esclans Sacha Lichine in Côtes de Provence. It’s a peachy-salmon-colored Rosé with notes of sweet strawberry, raspberry and cherry, yet it’s completely dry with a solid acidity and a long, clean finish. Here’s to tasting more wine in 2016! CW


GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom & pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves! The Bagel Project

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Tony Caputo’s Cafe serves terrific sandwiches. But the market also stocks imported cheeses and meats, pastas, olive oil and vinegars, fresh truffles and about a thousand other items to tempt your palate. At times, Tony Caputo’s Market & Deli can seem like the center of the universe. Well, at least the center of the Salt Lake City universe. It’s nearly impossible to walk into Tony’s without bumping into someone you know. That’s especially true if the people you know are food aficionados. Some come for stinky cheeses from the cheese cave; others pop in to satisfy their sweet tooth cravings from Caputo’s vast gourmet-chocolate selection, which includes ultra-premium chocolates from Chocolatier Blue. There’s also the temperature-controlled curing cell where Christiano Creminelli cures his stupendous artisan sausages and salami. And then there’s the vast array of gourmet foodstuffs. If all of that isn’t enough, there’s also Caputo’s deli, brimming with made-to-order sandwiches, salads and lots more. Multiple Locations, CaputosDeli.com

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East-West Connection

At East-West Connection in Salt Lake City you’ll find both classic & nouvelle Vietnamese cuisine in a sleek, upscale setting. The delicate curries, fresh spring rolls and seafood entrees served here are a must. Noodle dishes are plentiful, including the popular pad Thai, but for a real treat give the delicious Saigon beef with noodles a try. The lemongrass chicken is fragrant and delectable, as is the unique ginger

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Robb and Kim Abrams spent months figuring out how to replicate a genuine East Coast-style bagel. As it turned out, they discovered the secret is to use an old-world preferment. This brick-and-mortar store a few blocks from Liberty Park grew out of this discovery after their bagels became popular at the Downtown Farmers Market. The Bagel Project also features the bagel’s sister pastry, the bialy (it’s baked unboiled and, instead of a hole in the center, there’s a little thumbprint or impression). It’s just as delicious here in the Beehive State as on the East Coast. 779 S. 500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-906-0698, BagelProject.com

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GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net shrimp with shiitake mushrooms. And vegetarians will appreciate the restaurant’s array of enticing tofu dishes. The small wine and beer list rounds out East-West’s appealing menu. 1400 S. Foothill Drive, Salt Lake City, 801581-1128, East-WestConnection.com

The Dodo Restaurant

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28 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

Deli Done Right

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The Dodo Restaurant in Salt Lake City has an aura of intrigue and delightfulness, just as the bird it is named after. “Baked cream cheese, marinated in soy sauce, breaded with toasted sesame seeds. Served with apple and Asian pear slices and crackers.” Maybe it’s just me, but this starter sounds well, unappealing. But nay! In fact, it’s a fantastic blend of salty and sweet, creamy and crunchy, warm and cold. It’s a generous serving that easily kicks off a dinner for four, keeping you occupied while the chef prepares signature Dodo restaurant entrées like honey-baked salmon, Cajun chicken Alfredo and decadent beef Stroganoff. 1355 E. 2100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-486-2473, TheDodo.net

East Liberty Tap House

Scott Evans, owner of Pago and Finca restaurants, opened East Liberty Tap House restaurant in Salt Lake City in late 2014 in the popular 9th & 9th neighborhood. The Tap House restaurant is a nice mix of modern and vintage, a neighborhood hangout (open noon to midnight seven days a week) with a well-curated craft beer selection and food sourced from local purveyors. Snacks, small and large plates are available, with options like duck-fat caramel popcorn, cheddarwurst corn dog nuggets and trout tartine. In a very short time East Liberty Tap House has made its mark on the Salt Lake City dining and drinking scene. 850 E. 900 South, Salt Lake City, 801-441-2845, EastLibertyTapHouse.com

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BEST OF 2015

It Was a Very Good Year

Looking back at the top 20 films of 2015 BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net

E

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 29

6. The Forbidden Room Guy Maddin’s fascination with silent film and other vintage forms explodes into a wild series of nested narratives, each one more hilariously absurd than the last. 5. Inside Out Pixar takes a high concept—personifying the emotions inside the head of an adolescent girl—and uses it to find resonant truths about the experience of growing up, and making peace with what’s left behind in the process. 4. 45 Years A long-married couple (Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay) finds preparations for an engagement party shaken by information from the past in Andrew Haigh’s wrenching study of the way an entire lifetime of memories can be re-framed in an instant. 3. The Look of Silence Joshua Oppenheimer’s follow-up to The Act of Killing continues exploring the legacy of the Indonesian genocide, this time discovering how hard it can be to find closure and grant forgiveness when those who have done harm can’t imagine seeing what they’ve done as a crime. 2. Timbuktu Abderrahmane Sissako’s portrait of a village overrun by a fundamentalist Muslim militia isn’t just a compelling drama, but probably the 2015 film that feels most essential for every American to see and grasp some sense of this complex world. 1. Mad Max: Fury Road It’s hard enough to revisit a decades-old franchise and make it seem like anything but a cash-grab. George Miller took huge risks all over the place—recasting Max (Tom Hardy), focusing the story instead on a woman (the magnificently minimalist Charlize Theron)—and created something that exploded with both visual imagination and genuinely powerful emotional content. CW

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

13. Bone Tomahawk In a year full of violent Westerns, S. Craig Zahler’s revenge yarn was the best, somehow taking elements like cannibalistic “troglodytes” and crafting a suspense tale full of great performances, phenomenal dialogue, hard-to-watch brutality and startling moments of heartbreaking humanity. 12. Clouds of Sils Maria The stellar performances by Juliette Binoche and Kristen Stewart— as a middle-age actress and her personal assista nt—prov ided the anchor for Olivier Assayas’ complicated examination of how hard it can be to deal with the simple passage of time. 11. Brooklyn / 10. Carol Unexpectedly, two of the year’s best were both stories of young women trying to define themselves while working in department stores in 1952 New York. Saoirse Ronan’s lovely central performance as a fresh-off-the-boat Irish immigrant lifted Brooklyn’s perfectly-pitched narrative of love and homesickness, while Carol found Todd Haynes’ breathtaking directing powering the “love that dare not speak its name” story between Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara. 9. Jafar Panahi’s Taxi The Iranian filmmaker—banned in his country from making movies—takes his camera undercover for a disorienting mix of documentary and fiction, creating a perfect portrait-in-miniature of a culture where it’s never clear how much “reality” you ever get to see. 8. Phoenix Nina Hoss gave the performance of the year as a Holocaust survivor essentially forced to pretend to be herself, in a psychological thriller that featured 2015’s most devastating final scene. 7. Kumiko, The Treasure Hunter The Zellner brothers took a story loosely based on an urban legend—about a Japanese woman trying to find the snow-buried treasure from Fargo—and turned it into a wonderfully mournful meditation on loneliness and the need to be understood.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

very year, it feels as though I start this column in the same way: I don’t know exactly what it means to say, “It was a good year for movies.” Some years, it’s about knowing you’ve seen movies for the ages; there may be only a few of them, but you know they’ll stick with you forever. Other years, it’s about depth. And that’s what 2015 felt like to me: My favorite 20 films were all good enough that reshuffling the order wouldn’t change things all that much. I feel obliged to go all the way to 20 this year, because stopping arbitrarily at 10, or even 15, risks omitting something I know I want to mention—especially some films that were released primarily to video-ondemand, or otherwise never made their way into Utah theaters. Space constraints don’t permit longer blurbs for those at the bottom of the list: 20. Spotlight; 19. Girlhood; 18. Creed; 17. It Follows. As for the rest, here we go. 16. Son of Saul Géza Röhrig’s fierce performance—as an Auschwitz prisoner determined to find a way to give a young boy a ritual Jewish burial—drives this drama that’s not just “another Holocaust movie,” but a tale of how focusing on one small act of humanity can somehow overcome incomprehensible horror. 15. Shaun the Sheep Movie Aardman Animation makes charming family entertainment seem so effortless, and the Plasticine adventures of farm animals looking for their missing owner is both hilarious and a better-choreographed example of action filmmaking than most Hollywood blockbusters. 14. The Duke of Burgundy Please get past director Peter Strickland’s basic premise—a period piece about two women in a dominant/submissive lesbian relationship—to find a pair of terrific central performances, and a story of the hard work of trying to be the person your partner needs you to be.

CINEMA


NEW THIS WEEK

CINEMA

CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS

AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. THE HATEFUL EIGHT BBB Take this with a grain of salt, because Quentin Tarantino’s films always seem deeper than their superficially visceral appeal with the benefit of multiple viewings. But this gritty drama—about several snowbound characters trying to survive treachery and personal conflicts at a remote general store/tavern in post-Civil War Wyoming—initially feels more superficial than the director’s other work. There are pleasures to be found, from sharp performances by Samuel L. Jackson, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kurt Russell, Walton Goggins and others, as well as Tarantino’s trademark gift for using dialogue to convey the power of myth, legend and story and the revelations of a backtracking narrative. Yet ultimately, this Western riff on paranoia-tinged horror like The Thing plays

out simply as a profane, blood-soaked genre exercise, where Tarantino has typically wrapped the appearance of profane, bloodsoaked genre exercise around something with a real moral compass. Sure, Q’s got a few salient things to say about cleaning up the legacy of American racism; it’s just harder than usual to hear them this time through the F-bombs, gunfire blasts and howls of pain. Opens Dec. 31 at theaters valleywide. (R)—Scott Renshaw

SPECIAL SCREENINGS PAPER PLANES At Salt Lake City Main Library, Jan. 2, 11 a.m. (NR) THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING At Park City Film Series, Jan. 1-2 @ 8 p.m. & Jan. 3 @ 6 p.m. At Salt Lake City Main Library, Jan. 5, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES

JOY BB For the first time since David O. Russell realized that Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper belong onscreen together, the result is something that never quite gels. Lawrence is woefully miscast as entrepreneur Joy Mangano, and the film sticks closely to the story of a divorced mom who travels a long, hard road before her triumph and vindication (because of course she was doubted by everyone along the way). There’s a weirdly stilted, forced quirkiness of how Russell casts Joy’s crazy family life as a messy, lower-middle-class version of a glitzy fantasy soap opera, with the cast never all on the same page. Only when Lawrence is paired with Cooper—as a fictionalized Home Shopping Network exec—does the movie come alive, but it’s nowhere near enough to pull off Joy as an entertaining whole. (R)—MaryAnn Johanson

30 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

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THE BIG SHORT BBB.5 If I were thinking, “Who should make a movie about the 2008 subprime mortgage economic crisis?” my first answer would not likely be, “The guy who made Anchorman.” But that counterintuitiveness is almost exactly what makes Adam McKay’s adaptation of Michael C. Lewis’s book—the true stories of the guys who saw the collapse coming—so effective. Though the subject is insanely convoluted, McKay refuses to turn it into a parade of somber finger-wagging, committing to puckish meta-humor that includes asides like, “Here’s Margot Robbie in a bubble bath to explain it to you.” There’s too much ground to cover for the individual characters’ stories to make much of an emotional impact, but there’s a snappy energy here that turns one of the most maddening events in recent history into something where all the greedy pieces suddenly make sense. (R)—SR

CONCUSSION BB.5 When it works, writer/director Peter Landesman’s fact-based story of Dr. Bennet Omalu (Will Smith)—whose research uncovered the effects of playing football on chronic brain injury—is less about “one man against Big Money” than impressive small details, like the footage from NFL pre-game shows celebrating huge hits, and Albert Brooks’ memorable supporting performance as Omalu’s prickly boss. But there’s little beyond those details in Landesman’s narrative structure, which meanders through Omalu’s courtship with his future wife (Gugu MbathaRaw), his collaborations with a former NFL team doctor (Alec Baldwin), and his struggles against attempts to discredit him. And the efforts to connect Omalu’s immigrant American dream with his battle against America’s Game feel frustratingly underwritten, despite Smith’s strong performance. While Concussion pulls few punches in making the NFL the villain, righteous anger isn’t enough to sustain two hours. (PG-13)—SR

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TRUE BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Bye, Felicia!

Recapping 2015: The good, the dead and the sucky.

T

his is a filler week; we all know it. A Christmas hangover leading into a New Year’s hangover, then we’re back to TV business as usual. In the meantime, The Only TV Column That Matters™ will remind you of what you should have been watching in 2015 (and can still ondemand), as well as the shows we’ve lost, and those that should just die already.

Shows I Told You to Watch (Cable)

The Man in the High Castle, Red Oaks, Transparent (Amazon Prime). Casual, Difficult People, The Mindy Project (Hulu). Bloodline, BoJack Horseman, Daredevil, F is for Family, House of Cards, Jessica Jones, Longmire, Master of None, Narcos, Orange is the New Black, Sense8, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, W/ Bob & David, Wet Hot American Summer (Netflix). Con Man (Vimeo).

Shows I Told You to Watch (OldTimey Broadcast)

Blackish, Fresh Off the Boat, Marvel’s Agent Carter, Quantico (ABC). Person of Interest, Supergirl (CBS). The 100, Arrow, Crazy ExGirlfriend, The Flash, iZombie, Jane the Virgin (The CW). Bob’s Burgers, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Golan the Insatiable, Gotham, The Grinder, The Last Man on Earth, New Girl, Scream Queens, Wayward Pines (Fox). Aquarius, The Blacklist, Blindspot, Grimm (NBC).

Justified

Blood & Oil, Revenge, Wicked City (ABC). Mad Men (AMC). Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Adult Swim). Battle Creek, CSI, Extant, Under the Dome (CBS). America’s Next Top Model, Hart of Dixie (The CW). Strike Back (Cinemax). Key & Peele (Comedy Central). The Grace Helbig Show, The Soup (E!). The Bastard Executioner, The Bridge, The Comedians, Justified, Married (FX). The League (FXX). Glee, Minority Report (Fox). Getting On, Looking (HBO). Garfunkel & Oates (IFC). Best Time Ever With Neil Patrick Harris, Constantine, Hannibal, Parenthood, Parks & Recreation, The Player, Truth Be Told, Welcome to Sweden (NBC). Hemlock Grove (Netflix). Happyish, Web Therapy (Showtime). Continuum, Helix (Syfy). Cougar Town (TBS). Agent X, Legends (TNT). Community (Yahoo!).

Shows That Belong in TV Hell

Better Call Saul

Jessica Jones

The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Dancing With the Stars, Dr. Ken, The Muppets (ABC). The Big Bang Theory, CSI: Cyber, The Odd Couple, Scorpion, Undercover Boss (CBS). I Am Cait, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Rich Kids, Total Divas (E!). American Idol, Grandfathered (Fox). Ballers (HBO). Heroes Reborn, Undateable, The Voice (NBC). Real Rob (Netflix). The Affair, Homeland (Showtime). Chrisley Knows Best, Donny! (USA). CW Listen to Bill on Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell; weekly on the TV Tan podcast via iTunes and Stitcher.

Supergirl

I Am Cait

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

Daredevil

Shows I Told You to Watch (Streaming)

Shows That Went to TV Heaven

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Bates Motel (A&E). Stitchers (ABC Family). Better Call Saul, Fear the Walking Dead, Halt and Catch Fire, Humans, Into the Badlands, The Walking Dead (AMC). Childrens Hospital, Mike Tyson Mysteries, Rick & Morty, Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell (Adult Swim). Doctor Who, Orphan Black (BBC America). Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce, Odd Mom Out (Bravo). Banshee, The Knick (Cinemax). Another Period, Big Time in Hollywood FL, Broad City, Drunk History, Inside Amy Schumer, The Meltdown With Jonah & Kumail, Review (Comedy Central). Kingdom (DirecTV/Audience). The Royals (E!). The Americans, American Horror Story: Hotel, Archer, Fargo, Louie, Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll, The Strain (FX). It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Man Seeking Woman, You’re the Worst (FXX). Game

of Thrones, Girls, Silicon Valley, True Detective, Veep (HBO). Vikings (History). Benders, Documentary Now!, Maron, Portlandia, The Spoils Before Dying (IFC). UnReal (Lifetime). Episodes, Penny Dreadful, Masters of Sex, Ray Donovan, Shameless (Showtime). Ash vs. Evil Dead, Blunt Talk, Flesh & Bone, Outlander (Starz). Rectify, The Returned (Sundance). 12 Monkeys, Dark Matter, The Expanse, Killjoys, Z Nation (Syfy). Playing House, Mr. Robot (USA). Manhattan, Salem (WGN America).

TV

You’re the Worst

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 31


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32 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

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Californian prog-grassers Hot Buttered Rum on their unique sound and unusual two-night SLC stand with Head for the Hills. BY BRIAN STAKER comments@cityweekly.net

T

here might as well be a musical genre for bands named after foods. They may sound as disparate as the smoking hot psych blues of erstwhile Jefferson Airplaner Jorma Kaukonen’s Hot Tuna, the “polyethnic Cajun slamgrass” of Leftover Salmon, or the ska punk of Skankin’ Pickle—but why categorize music by groups that create a similar impression on the ear? Or who already share the same fanbase? That assumes that people always want to listen to the same thing, and it takes away the element of surprise. In music, as in life, diversity is the key to keeping things interesting. Case in point: the San Francisco Bay Area progressive bluegrass band Hot Buttered Rum. Their story is, in part, an illustration of the way a very traditional, even oldtimey genre like bluegrass has, in recent decades, moved across audiences, generations and sheer geography from its roots in Appalachia to find eager listeners among the more widespread jamband scene. The quintet was founded in the early 2000s by a cadre of high school and college friends “endeavoring to combine the lonesome strains of Appalachian bluegrass with the sounds of some of California’s own acoustic music, past and present,” says Erik Yates, who sings and plays banjos, guitars and woodwinds. Musicians who’ve inspired them include bluegrass greats Doc Watson and the Stanley brothers, and, closer to home, Tim Bluhm (The Mother Hips) and David Grisman. The progressive strain of bluegrass, also known as “newgrass,” shares with the traditional form of the genre an emphasis on instrumental virtuosity, and ensemble playing, often on acoustic instruments with a repertoire based on folk music and other traditional genres. Newgrass adds electric instruments, rock or jazz-style compositions and playing style, and extended improvisations. You can see how the latter, in particular, found favor with jam-band audiences. Neither jam band nor newgrass is geographically specific. But Yates maintains there is something essentially Californian about HBR’s sound, which has helped them find a unique niche in a jamfriendly genre that has exploded with new artists over the past several decades. “We didn’t realize this at first, of course—we were just being ourselves,” Yates says. “In our minds, we were playing bluegrass music, but what everyone else heard was this weird sort of mix. We’ve started trying to listen for this blend now, specifically, and honing in on actually going further with it.” Paradoxically (or not), it’s the blending that distinguishes them as Californian. But the fact that it wasn’t some kind of conscious, strategic move keeps it genuine; they’re just making the music they find themselves drawn toward. Yates says: “There’s an openness to different rhythmic feels and subject matter. In general, I would describe most West Coast bands as genre-benders—though, that’s rarely our intention.” The band has found success performing at music festivals, but when you look at which festivals, that’s an indication of their eclectic style as well: Newport Folk Festival, Telluride Bluegrass Festival, the traditionally indie-rock dominated South by Southwest, and

Hot Buttered Rum jam band mecca Bonnaroo. The same applies to the list of musicians they’ve played with, including Phil Lesh of the Grateful Dead, Ben Harper, newgrass banjo master Bela Fleck and ’60s bluegrass legend Peter Rowan. Newgrass, and traditional bluegrass music for that matter, has plenty of energy, but seems to have an added element recorded live. Of Hot Buttered Rum’s seven full-length releases, three have been live discs. HBR is following a new direction with a series of EPs on different themes. The first is what Yates calls “our darker, earlier stuff,” recorded with producer Tim Carbone of New Jersey newgrass band Railroad Earth. The second, which he says is “a real, honest-to-God bluegrass album,” had help from producer Sally Van Meter and guest artist/vocal coach Laurie Lewis. The third ventures into unexplored musical territory with innovative jam ideas and arrangements from Kyle Hollingsworth of the String Cheese Incident. Hot Buttered Rum co-headlines with Colorado bluegrass band Head for the Hills on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. The bands will perform separately and together for songs on entertaining themes, again bending expectations for live performances. “We thought it’d be fun to have something more than just two blank-slate shows with Head for the Hills,” Yates says, “so we settled on doing one night as an old-school ski night and another as prom night. We’re also going to get some material up that uses all nine musicians at once, some covers and originals that we’ll just play once.” Audiences are asked to “dress in your finest threads” to celebrate New Year’s Eve, or wear a one-piece snow suit on Jan. 1. When asked to hint about the cover tunes, Yates won’t budge, but says there’s a “fan component” to the selection process on the band’s Facebook page. CW

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TUESDAY taco tuesday 2 for $2 (with beverage purchase)

free karaoke w/ zimzam ent 8pm

A Diabolical Love Story Music geeks, prepare to get a little misty. BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

PRIVATE SPACE FOR HOLIDAY PARTIES & MEETINGS. CALL OR STOP BY FOR A TOUR!

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2014 Now taking holiday reservations: 1-385-424-2592 326 S West Temple  801-819-7565

veryone wants to find their soulmate. Often, this faceless person is an ideal, a figment that lives only in our minds. Especially when the traits we assign him or her are difficult to match, like an enthusiasm for obscure music. Let’s pause, rock nerds, and consider how many conversations with potential date-ables that went thusly: Music Junkie: I really love music. Potential Mate: Me too! Music Junkie: I’m totally obsessed. I have tons of music, of all kinds. Potential Mate: Me too! Music Junkie: OK—top five records. Go! That’s where it falls apart. Potential Mate might rave about their Linkin Park or Dave Matthews Band station on Pandora. Their idea of “all kinds” of music is rock, country and rap. If they fancy themselves cool, they’ll toss out the now-meaningless “indie.” So, it’s rare that someone so obsessed with good music can find someone likewise obsessed and then become mutually obsessed. Diabolical Records proprietors Alana Boscan and Adam Tye are pretty lucky. They met at a shared birthday party for Boscan and a mutual friend, and hit it off immediately. “Music is my cornerstone for conversations with people. It’s like, ‘Oh, you like good music? We can be friends,’” says Tye. “Our mutual friend, we were independently friends with because of our taste in music,” says Boscan. “But we’d never crossed paths before.” They spent the evening talking about Nine Inch Nails and … And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead. Aww … When Tye visited Boscan’s home for the first time, he says, “it drove me crazy because she left all of her CDs stacked on top of each other. So when she went to go change, I started putting all the CDs in cases and alphabetizing them.” He says this story is a good metaphor for how the

Alana Boscan and Adam Tye of Diabolical Records

two complement each other. “She wants to listen to everything, and I’m the one who says, ‘But we need to categorize it. It has to be alphabetical!’” “It’s true,” Boscan laughs, beaming at Tye. Two years ago, when Tye had grown tired of working call-center jobs and his former employer, Slowtrain Records, was for sale, they decided to open Diabolical Records. “I figured I could be making crappy money working a crappy job, or I could make crappy money doing something I love,” he says. Instead of buying the more roots-rock oriented Slowtrain, the pair borrowed money and opened an account with Revolver, a distributor of the garage, punk and psych albums they favor. They also began actively buying local releases, becoming one of the biggest local music supporters in town. If you look around Diabolical’s store on Edison Street in downtown Salt Lake City, it’s as though the store is actually the home the two have made together since marrying in 2010. It’s tidy and well-lit. Even the stickers on the counter are somewhat neatly spaced. It’s cozy, but there’s ample room to move among the shelves stocked mainly with vinyl records. It’s a real mom-and-pop shop, just without the kids (so far). Unless you count the happy customers. In a short time, Diabolical Records has built quite a following, as music geeks get to know the shop as a reliable source of musical goodness—live and recorded. When the store opened, Tye and Boscan held an in-store performance by School Dance, a friend’s band from Philadelphia, and locals Onan Spurtz (now The Nods). That show bred other shows, and soon Diabolical started getting calls from booking agents for acts like The Coathangers and the Salad Boys. It’s a development as fortuitous, and even romantic, as Boscan and Tye’s musical meetcute. The shows have helped to drive sales in a time when brick-and-mortar stores struggle. So, to accommodate the concerts, Diabolical’s shelves are on casters, so they can be wheeled away to open up more floor space for the stage at the front of the store. “In two years, we’ve done 260 shows,” Tye says. “And we’re not planning on slowing down at all in 2016.” CW

DIABOLICAL RECORDS

238 S. Edison St. 801-792-9204


WHERE SOPHISTICATED MEETS CASUAL

Holladay’s Premier Martini & Wine Bar

Book any party or event for 2 to 250 people Quality drinks at an affordable price Saturday and Sunday Brunch til 3:00 Great food daily 11am - 12:15am Music Weds thru Saturday

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DJ’s Friday & Saturday 9pm - Close

Full dining menu available from Cafe Trio

Reservations for special events / private parties

6405 S 3000 E | 801.943.1696 | ELIXIRUTAH.COM

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Live Music Friday & Saturday 6pm - 9pm

300 S.

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Monday @ 8pm

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36 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

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THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

LIVE

854 South State Street 801-532-9002

BRIAN STAKER & RANDY HARWARD

THURSDAY 12.31

Emancipator, Cloudchord (D.V.S.*), Lapa, cameragrammar

Classically trained violinist Douglas Appling has become known to the electronic music world as Emancipator. In just under a decade, he’s made a definitive mark on downtempo music with his singular mix of cultural touchstones. With his Emancipator Ensemble, he has added a drummer and bassist, for a more organic approach although his solo releases made a big splash, he has almost become better known for his remixes—and the subject of one, guitarist Derek Van Scoten (who changed his producer name from D.V.S.* to Cloudchord), joins him in performance. Emancipator’s newest full-length, Seven Seas, has been eagerly awaited by those who look forward to seeing what new rabbits he can pull out of his hat. Ilya Goldberg, aka Lapa, is a long-time collaborator of Emancipator’s, and like him, the Russian-born producer is “first and foremost” a violinist. In addition to performing in the symphonic arena, his release Meeting of the Waters (Loci Records) has been highly lauded. Los Angeles chillwave producer cameragrammar rounds out the bill. This genre of music sometimes seems incestuous, with participants remixing one another’s tracks almost endlessly, creating innumerable versions of the same song. But even with its navel-gazing, it’s an examination that often yields fascinating sonic insights into untrod directions. For a New Year’s Eve activity, it’s an opportunity to immerse one’s self in that reflective world. (BS) O.P. Rockwell, 628 Main, Park City, 9 p.m., $55, OPRockwell.com

The Chris Robinson Brotherhood

SATURDAY 1.2

The Chris Robinson Brotherhood

You know those nights where you have nothing better to do than watch YouTube? Not that this is a bad thing. I’m talking about when you find a lull in your day, where what you thought was a stolen moment morphs into surprise incidental free time. Where you click on a song, connect with it and then realize you have the freedom to step into the wardrobe and see where it leads? Or let’s say you didn’t have free time. You are, in fact, effin’ off—but you ride the tangent anyway and forget to feel guilty about shirking your responsibilities. Even when your subconscious returns you to awareness of your obligations, and you know you’ve squandered a valuable hour, you still feel as though it was time well-wasted. In the midst of it, you didn’t have a care in the world. That makes it much easier to resume your grind, because you didn’t just find a new favorite band: You made a friend, and the two of you will be hanging out a lot, later on. You see where this is going? Give it a shot. You’ll discover the juncture where great songwriting—as much from erstwhile Black Crowes frontguy Robinson as from guitarist Neal Casal (best known from Ryan Adams & the Cardinals, but boasting a solo discography that’s 12 discs deep)—meets tasteful jamming, and how the two combined make for a great and welcome escape. (RH) Park City Live, 427 Main, 9 p.m., $30, ParkCityLive.net

People Under the Stairs

2

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE CITYWEEKLY.NET

“The Steely Dan of rap music.” That line (not mine) just sold some tickets, ‘cause when you invoke The Dan, their fans (what’s up, Deane?) react like cats to ‘nip. For them/us, the name carries weight. It doesn’t matter that it’s hip-hop and not jazz rock, because the comparison says the

Emancipator music has certain qualities: a laid-back vibe that belies the music’s degree of difficulty and genius, while cheekily showing it off. It’s like how b-boys pose after spinning out: They rest motionless, heads propped on their fists—grinning. They don’t need to be told that what they did was dope, but that wry smile says go ahead and put your hands together if you want. That, plus an encyclopedic knowledge of all music, a gourmet musical gluttony that shows in their samples, which span jazz, soul and even soft rock. And don’t forget the lyrics: Steely Dan mixes a wicked intellect and sense of humor, balancing serious points with flat-out fun. Hip-hop fans have known since the late ‘90s that People Under the Stairs does all of this—adding their own touches, like samples from the ‘80s arcade shooter, Galaga— with aplomb. See for yourself tonight, and don’t miss crafty local hip-hop artists DJ Juggy, Burnell Washburn and Better Taste Bureau. They’ll have plenty of tricks up their respective sleeves. (RH) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 9 p.m., $20, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

People Under the Stairs


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FRIDAY, JANUARY 1ST WISTFULL THINKING BLUE ZEN SATURDAY, JANUARY 2ND BLUE DEVILLE BLACKLIGHT

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The name of Provo folk outfit Grizzly Goat evokes images of some hybrid mountainous creature, Mumford & Sons comparisons and a somewhat unsavory definition on UrbanDictionary.com. Also, by no means last of all, a healthy amount of hipsterish facial hair. You know a few bits of musical munchies end up in those bearish beards, and maybe that’s why they seems as good as granola. Formerly the Wandering Woods, they actually formed in Las Vegas before pivoting to Provo, and a much more eager audience. The more wayward whimsies of the earlier outfit found themselves displaced in favor of a more rock-friendly— if not outright rock—approach, and their latest EP, Boring Conversation Anyway, is anything but. One more thing, and this is far from the most interesting tidbit about this quartet: None of them is from Utah originally, yet they still somehow gravitated towards Utah County. It’s been a far more conducive atmosphere to folk music

This is NOT A Lounge Act! os Our Dueling Pian T O H g in are Smok

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 37


SHOTS IN THE DARK

BY JOSH SCHEUERMAN @scheuerman7

4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

www.theroyalslc.com

❱ Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports ❰

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu thousands

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thursday, december 31 new year's Eve party W/ DJ LATU RING IN 2016, PIG STYLE! STEAK & LOBSTER DINNER $45 PER COUPLE ($25 SINGLE)

friday,,,january 1

Thursday 12/31

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New Year's Eve Dance Party

Sharon Maroney, Christi Glines, Natalie Maroney,Melissa Blackett, Britt West, Emily Wetzel

Ring in the new year w/

The Ruin

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

gton Ave 1215 E. Wilmin 30 (801) 869-37 /theRUIN facebook.com

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Weeknights monday

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OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

Andy Pitts, Bree & Nate Millard

saturday 1/2

tuesday

LOCAL NIGHTS OUT

wednesday

american hitmen

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

w/ berlin breaks | bury the wolf sunday 1/3

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

Great food

Greg Wrotniak, Kristina Barton, Ben Dickerson

Chase Worthen, Macey Truett

nfl jersey giveaway great food & drink specials every game day

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| CITY WEEKLY |

38 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

wednesday 12/30

LIVE Music

monday 1/4

MONDAY - FRIDAY

the royal blues jam

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10 brunch buffet

hosted by bobby reynolds & friends

SATURDAYS FROM 11AM-2PM

Tuesday 1/5

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open mic night

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

coming soon 2/9

Sam Grenny, Sara Day, Allison Shepard, Jay Coates

10 years I dead letter circus


THURSDAY 12.31 Resolution, with Felix Cartal

At the ripe old age of 28, the Canadian EDM/ house producer and DJ, Felix Cartal (born Taelor Deitcher), has two full-length releases, an EP and several world tours under his belt. His collaborations with unlikely bedfellows—including Death from Above 1979’s vocalist Sebastien Grainger and Johnny Whitney of The Blood Brothers— show him possessed of a remarkable instinct for innovation and uncanny combinations. In this three-room, nine-DJ event, Felix Cartal will be joined in the Depot’s Main Room by Ross K, Tee Jay and Z & Z. The 400 Room will feature DJ Delmaggio. In the Recess Club Room you will find NVIA, Bello Bastian and Jesse Walker. (Brian Staker) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 9:30 p.m., $25 in advance, $35 day of show (plus fees), DepotSLC.com

CONCERTS & CLUBS

AT THE BEST

01.01

Open Christmas Day @ 5pm

01.08 01.09 01.15 01.16

STONEFED CHICAGO MIKE SON OF IAN CANDY’S RIVER HOUSE

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 39

BROTHER CHUNKY LOW-CAL ACOUSTIC 01.02 MOLTEN BLUE 01.06 MICHELLE MOONSHINE 01.07 STICKS AND STRINGS

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SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY

bar in town

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Free Party Favors Champagne Toast at Midnight DJ Pookie No Cover

BEER

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

New Years Party

Enjoy Live Music &


| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| CITY WEEKLY |

40 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

CITY WEEKLY’S HOT LIST FOR THE WEEK

CONCERTS & CLUBS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

THURSDAY 12.31 LIVE MUSIC

The Ann Wilson Thing (Eccles Center) The Brocks (The Falls Event Center At Trolley Square) Bullets & Belles (Silver Star Cafe) Emancipator, Cloudchord, LAPA & cameragrammar (O.P. Rockwell) Dirt Cheap, Roll the Bones & Reloaded (Liquid Joe’s) Resolution feat. Felix Cartal (The Depot) p. 39 Figure (Great Saltair) Hot Buttered Rum & Head for the Hills (The State Room) p. 32 Kaleb Austin (The Westerner Club) Infected Mushroom, Pegboard Nerds & Virtu (Great Saltair) Los Hellcaminos (The Spur Bar & Grill) Pegboard Nerds (Great Saltair) Rage Against the Supremes (The Spur Bar & Grill) Reggae Thursday! (The Woodshed)

B NEW YEAR’S EVE EVENTS B

All Gold 2016 (The Moose Lounge) Arvo New Years Party, Goldensuns & Strange Familia (The Falls at Trolley Square) Bright Lights (Sky Bar) New Year Eve’s Dance Party (The Royal) New Years Eve 2015 & No Resolutions (The Urban Lounge) New Years Party (Bourbon House) New Year’s Disco Fever (The Canyons) New Year’s Eve Celebration (The Fallout) New Year’s Eve Masquerade Ball (Club JAM) New Year’s Eve Party! (Club 90) New Year’s Eve: Come Get Primed (Garage on Beck) No Resolutions New Year’s Eve (The Urban Lounge) NYE 2016 (Downstairs) NYE All Gold 2016 (The Moose Lounge) the U92 All Stars, Dj Erock & Jay R (CLUB ELEVATE) Stooges Brass Band (Salt Palace Convention Center)

OPEN MIC & JAM

Jazz Jam Session (Sugarhouse Coffee) Jazz Joint Thursday (Garage on Beck) Live Jazz w/ the Jeff Archuleta Combo (Twist) Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle)

DJ

2016 Opening Night NYE w/ Ginger Bess & DJ Elliott Estes (Fletcher’s) chaseone2 (Gracie’s Bar) Chris Masterson with Miss DJ LUX (Downstairs) DJ Ross One (Park City Live) DJ Gawel (Gracie’s Bar) DJ HotNoise (The Red Door)

FRIDAY 1.1 LIVE MUSIC

American Hitmen (Poplar Street Pub) Back x Burner & Gardens (The Loading Dock) Brother Chunky Low-Cal Acoustic (The Hog Wallow) Holiday Hangover Show & Balance of Power (The Royal) Kaleb Austin (The Westerner Club) Lee’s Party (The Woodshed) Micky & the Motorcars (O.P. Rockwell) Motherlode Canyon Band (Spur Bar & Grill) Natural Causes (Club 90) Nina Slippers (Area 51) Robyn Cage (Flagstaff Lodge) Johanna Johanna, Rook Takes Queen, HeD & Small Lake City (Kilby Court) Settle Down, Temples & Turbo Chugg (The Urban Lounge) The Traveling Dingleberries (Spur Bar & Grill)

DJ

chaseone2 (Gracie’s Bar) DJ Brisk (Downstairs) DJ Dolph (Gracie’s Bar) Après Ski, DJ Gawel & DJ Dolph (Gracie’s Bar) DJ Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Dolph (Gracie’s Bar) DJ Elliott Estes (Fletcher’s) Enjoy the Bassline Friday (The Red Door) DJ Juggy, DJ Brisk & Handsome Hands (Sky Bar) DJ Lishus (Club Jam) DJ Red (Downstairs) The U92 All Stars, DJ Erock & Jay R (Elevate)

SATURDAY 1.2 LIVE MUSIC

American Hitmen & New Year’s Hangover Cure (The Royal)

SOME PEOPLE GET ALL THE BREAKS... NOW YOU CAN TOO!

Backwash (The Hog Wallow) Chris Robinson Brotherhood (Park City Live) p. 36 Comfort Cage (The Underground) Crook & The Bluff (Johnny’s on Second) EL84 (The Underground) Grizzly Goat, Timmy The Teeth & Scott Rogers (Kilby Court) p. 37 John Pizzarelli (Capitol Theatre) Joy Spring Band (Sugarhouse Coffee) Molten Blue (The Hog Wallow) People Under The Stairs, DJ Juggy & Burnell Washburn (The Urban Lounge) p. 36 Pistol Rock (The Spur Bar & Grill) Rick Gerber & The Nightcaps (The Cabin) The Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Terence Hansen Trio (Stein Erickson Lodge) Tony Holiday & The Fingers (The Royal)

DJ

chaseone2 (Gracie’s Bar) DJ Dizzy D (Club 90) DJ Latu (Green Pig) DJ Scooter & DJ Juggy (Downstairs) DJ Sneaky Long (Twist) Flash & Flare (The Urban Lounge)

OPEN MIC & JAM

Joy Spring Band (Jazz) (Sugarhouse Coffee)

SUNDAY 1.3 LIVE MUSIC

Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Live Jazz Brunch (Club 90) Live Music at El Chanate (Snowbird Resort) Michelle Moonshine (Garage on Beck) Talia Keys (Alta Peruvian Lodge) Acoustic Showcase w/ Kate MacLeod (The Garage on Beck) p. 41

MONDAY 1.4 LIVE MUSIC

Analee (The Spur Bar & Grill) The Arvos, The Middle Mountain & Boone Sounds (Kilby Court) God Damn Hooligans (The Spur Bar & Grill)

TUESDAY 1.5 LIVE MUSIC

Amanda Johnson (The Spur Bar & Grill) Daniel Pimentel, Andrew Goldring, Kaleb Hanly & Spirit Twin (The Urban Lounge) Andrew Wiscombe (Sarah Daft Home) Daisy & The Moonshines (Kilby Court) Donner Pass (The Spur Bar & Grill) Lorin Walker Madsen (Donkey Tails) Orthodox, Hands of the Martyr & Allies Always Lie (The Loading Dock) Steel Belts (Gracie’s Bar) Terence Hansen Trio (Deer Valley)

OPEN MIC & JAM

Hell Jam (Devil’s Daughter) Open Mic (Alchemy Coffee) Open Mic Night (The Royal) Open Mic Night (Velour) Open Mic Night (The Wall) Whistling Rufus (Sugarhouse Coffee)

WEDNESDAY 1.6 LIVE MUSIC

The Anchorage, Pelicants & Quiet Oaks (Kilby Court) BoomBox & Ryan Bauer (The State Room) Brady Flores & Carrie Myers (Kilby Court) Hot Club of Zion (Gracie’s Bar) Jazz at the 90 (Club 90) John Craig (Gracie’s Bar) Jordan Young (Alta Peruvian Lodge) Lorin Walker Madsen (Spur Bar & Grill) Marmalade Chill (Gracie’s Bar) Michael Dallin (The Hog Wallow) Michelle Moonshine (The Hog Wallow) Parlour Hounds (The Spur Bar & Grill) Robyn Cage (Prime Piano Bar)

OPEN MIC & JAM

Jam Night feat. Dead Lake Trio (The Woodshed) Open Mic (Sugarhouse Coffee)

DJ

DJ Matty Mo (Willie’s Lounge)

OPEN MIC & JAM

Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Monday Night Jazz Session (Gracie’s Bar)

Sunday

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP VINYL RECORDS NEW & USED

Monday

Cash Paid for Resellable Vinyl, CD’s & Stereo Equipment

The South Valleys Best Neighborhood Bar!!!

CD’s, 45’s, Cassettes, Turntables & Speakers

NFL Sunday Ticket, Brunch Specials, The Best Bloody Mary in town Monday Night Football, Raffles and Jersey giveaways

“UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

Tuesday Poker night

Wednesday

Karaoke with Backstage Karaoke

Friday-Saturday Sat Live Music and DJ Lester

Call us to book your Holiday Party or Event 801-987-3354 - 11274 Kestrel Rise - S. Jordan, Ut Full Liquor Licence - Full House Every Night

ShuffleBoard ∙ Pool ∙ Darts ∙ LIFE CHANGING MAC & CHEESE

TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413


SUNDAY 1.3

Acoustic Showcase: Songwriters in the Round, featuring Kate MacLeod

CONCERTS & CLUBS

Salt Lake City has no shortage of great singersongwriters. Acclaimed—not just locally—folkie Kate MacLeod is one of the best, and her newly released Kate MacLeod Songbook (Dream Garden Press), which contains transcriptions of 52 songs from her expansive canon, proves as much. So trust that the lineup tonight—MacLeod, Duncan Phillips (son of Utah Phillips), Scott Willis and Jeremy Harmon—will be immensely satisfying for fans of great songwriting, in what MacLeod calls a “rare chance to hear them together in an intimate setting.” (Randy Harward) The Garage on Beck, 1199 Beck St., 6 p.m., free, GarageOnBeck.com

FRHESH CLOTHING PRESENTS: DEC 30:

8PM DOORS

JAN 5:

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

ANDREW GOLDRING KALEB HANLY SPIRIT TWIN

NYE W/ FLASH & FLARE MATTY MO, CHASE ONE TWO PHOTOS BY PHOTO COLLECTIVE

SPONSORED BY NEFF + SAGA + COALATREE

JAN 6:

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

JAN 1: FIRST MISTAKES PARTY:

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

SETTLE DOWN

JAN 7:

TEMPLES, TURBO CHUGG

JAN 2:

8PM DOORS

COLORS, RHIZOID BEACHWASTE MIKE COTTLE’S B-DAY PARTY

DUBWISE: SHANK AARON BANDWAGON STRICK 9 ILLOOM

COMING SOON

Jan 29: COORS PRESENTS Cherokee Jan 30: Flash & Flare Jan 31: The Knocks Feb 4: Conquer Monster Feb 5: Dubwise Feb 6: Great Dane Of Team Supreme Feb 12: Joe Kay Feb 13: Metalachi

Feb 16: Earphunk Feb 29: Ringo Deathstarr Mar 2: Wolf Eyes Mar 4: Dubwise featuring Djuna Mar 5: Prince Fox & Stelouse Mar 11: El Ten Eleven Mar 12: Ty Segall & The Muggers Mar 19: Rob Crow’s Gloomy Place Mar 21: Murder By Death

DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 41

COMING SOON: Jan 9: FREE SHOW Starmy Album Release Jan 11: David Dondero Jan 12: Blackalicious Jan 13: FREE SHOW Chalk Jan 14: FREE SHOW Slug Localized Jan 15: Joshua James Jan 16: Your Metoer Album Release Jan 20: Bat Manors Jan 21: Keith Murray Jan 22: Half Moon Run Jan 23: Saga Outdoor Retailers Party Jan 26: Ballyhoo Jan 27: FREE SHOW Beach Cops Jan 28: RURU

JAN 8:

9PM DOORS

THE NODS

BITCHIN’ DONNOR PARTY HOUSE RED BENNIES

| CITY WEEKLY |

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

90S TELEVISION

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

UINTA ALBUM RELEASE

AUDIO TREATS ROBOCLIP ELVDR

JAN 3:

PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS

BURNELL WASHBURN BETTER TASTE BUREAU DJ JUGGY

DANIEL PIMENTEL & THE SEVENTY SEVENS

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

DEC 31:

8PM DOORS

GIRAFFULA

MAX PAIN & THE GROOVIES LOST THE ARTIST CHRIS THE REDEEMER

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Join us at Rye Diner and Drinks for dinner and craft cocktails before, during and after the show. Late night bites 6pm-midnight Monday through Saturday and brunch everyday of the week. Rye is for early birds and late owls and caters to all ages www.ryeslc.com


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ACROSS

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 31, 2015 | 43

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

Last week’s answers

SUDOKU

1. West who quipped "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted" 2. Mont Blanc, e.g. 3. Words from someone claiming their innocence

46. They might make your mouth water 47. Brigham and Cy 48. First woman to appear on the front of a Wheaties box 49. Tally (up) 50. Singer Womack 53. Answer at the door 56. Basic point 57. "Take it!" 58. Part of FEMA: Abbr. 59. "That ____ last year!" 63. "... ____ lack thereof" 64. It has a round bottom

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DOWN

4. Withdraw 5. Store where you might take a number 6. Police action 7. Right on el mapa 8. "Yes, captain!" 9. One of the Simpsons 10. Darth Vader, at one time 11. Will Smith's "Men in Black" role 12. Bahamas capital 13. Upper crust groups 21. The sculpture "Kryptos" sits outside its hdqrs. 22. Look for 23. L'homme upstairs? 26. "____ knows?" 27. Iraq War no-shows 28. One way to go 29. Cloth whose name comes from the Urdu word for "dusty" 31. ____ Today 34. Eat by candlelight 36. Part of a sch. year 37. "Goodnight" girl of song 38. H.S. proficiency test 39. Duplicitous 40. Takes responsibility for 41. Fix, as an election 45. He won his first Grammy in 1985 for "Bach: The Unaccompanied Cello Suites"

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1. Operates, as a booth 5. The part of "The Wizard of Oz" that's in color 10. "30 Rock" actress Krakowski 14. Plant genus that was a reponse in a 2015 "Jeopardy!" category titled "4-Letter Words with 3 Vowels" 15. GPA booster 16. The same to vous? 17. Like some fails, in modern slang 18. Soda bottle measure 19. First name in '50s TV 20. Reject 23. "What ____ ever do to you?" 24. Tree that's a homophone of the last word in the clue for 23-Across 25. ____ kwon do 26. #1 Katy Perry hit with the lyric "Not losing any sleep" 30. French words describing how roast beef is often served 32. Rooster's mate 33. Speedometer meas. 34. Belittle 35. One stirring up trouble for management 42. Places for life-and-death decisions, for short 43. Actor Jeong of "The Hangover" 44. Eur. conflict that ended at 11:00 on 11/11 45. Cry of self-pride 48. 2014 Ice Cube/Kevin Hart comedy 51. Prize at las Olimpiadas 52. Never, in Berlin 54. Webster's entries: Abbr. 55. "Hey, a cool thing occurs in the middle sections of 20-, 26-, 35- and 48-Across ... oh, I don't need to explain ..." 60. Marriott alternative 61. Asparagus, mostly 62. "Don't have ____, man!" 65. New York and the New Yorker, briefly 66. Social customs 67. "I, Claudius" role 68. Helper: Abbr. 69. Janvier, across the Pyrenees 70. State bordering Manit. and Mont.


| COMMUNITY | | CITYWEEKLY.NET |

44 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

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New Year, New Look W

inter can be brutal on even the most lustrous locks, so if your hair needs a pick-me-up, check out the stylists at H 2 Blow, a blow-dry bar and makeup salon. Owned by Allison Varner and Meredith Wright, H 2 Blow opened itsdoors in Foothill Village in July 2013. Varner graduated from Westminster College with a degree in business accounting. She has always wanted to build her own business. She got the idea for H 2 Blow after visiting The Dry Bar in Scottsdale, Ariz. “I walked in and was in love,” Varner explains via email. When Varner returned to Salt Lake City, she ran into her friend Wright at the gym. Wright, a marketing professional, had coincidentally read an article in Forbes magazine about blow-dry bars. “The rest is kind of history,” Varner writes. After months of planning, the two selffunded H 2 Blow. It became the first salon of its kind in the city. For the uninitiated, a blowout is a wash, dry and style, and can usually be accomplished in under 45 minutes. “Full-service salons usually don’t like blowouts because they cut into the time when they could take a higher service ticket, such as a cut and color,” Varner explains. “We train on blowouts and have the best techniques for making [them] last for days.” Wright, who first began getting her hair blown out in 2008 while she was pregnant with her youngest child, considers the process an essential element of her beauty routine. “Until you have had a blowout, you can’t understand how drastically it can change a bad day to good,” Wright explains via email. Customers catch Wright and Varner’s enthusiasm for H 2 Blow. “I love all of the regular customers and seeing women and girls leave with confidence and a smile ...,”

H2Blow offers special “princess” pricing for little girls who want the blowout experience.

Varner writes. Wright also loves running her own business, but she has a word of caution to aspiring entrepreneurs: “Be prepared to live at your business if you open one!” she jokes. In addition to blowouts, H 2 Blow offers protein treatments for damaged hair, makeup applications, brow waxing and tinting and more. Discounts are offered for multiple services. H 2 Blow is available for special events. A popular spot for birthday parties and bridal showers, H 2 Blow will send its stylists to customers’ homes for special events. “If you have not been in for a blowout, you are missing out!” Varner writes. “Come in, relax and let us do the rest.” Varner and Wright are planning to expand H 2 Blow and are looking to hire additional stylists. Applicants may email their resumés to info@h2blowdrybar.com. n

H2BLOW 1400 Foothill Drive, No. 120, Salt Lake City 801-953-1017 Monday-Saturday: 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Sunday: noon-4 p.m. H2BlowDryBar.com

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Poets Corner

Old December

When old December rolls around The year is going gray The colors turn to black and white And night consumes the day

When old December sheds his tears They freeze upon the ground The trees are hung with icicles And miracles abound When old December spreads his cloak of white and drifting snow We gather close around the hearth And watch the fire’s glow

R.J. Beauregard Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

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| COMMUNITY |

and book section dedicated to conscious living, like Buddhism, meditation, healing, self-help, yoga women’s studies and cooking. Right now, I’m eyeing the new Gloria Steinem book, My Life on the Road ($28). A great start to any new year is to buy a beautiful calendar or journal, of which Golden Braid has a vast selection. Let go of the digital world for a moment and remember what it’s like to actually write about your feelings rather than click a “thumbs up” on Facebook. Enlighten yourself with a psychic reading with one of the Braid’s renowned psychics available seven days a week. You can walk in or reserve an appointment. Readings are $45 for 30 minutes, $60 for 40 minutes and $80 for 60 minutes. Also, every third Wednesday, you can sample all three readers for 20 minutes each for only $25. The next psychic sampler date is Jan. 20. Lastly, I am resigning my post as Shop Girl. This “little” column has been so fun to write, but my desire now is to build on my relations with my family, especially my young boys. I’m still here in Salt Lake City, always shopping and championing for all of the great stores that make this city bright. Thank you. CW

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’m done. I give up. I resign 2015 and am forging ahead to all of the opportunity and possibility that a new year represents. If you’re anything like me, you’re feeling as if you overindulged your appetite and overextended your wallet. Seriously, my cells have turned into a bloated mess of sugar and Andami prosecco. What do I do now besides feel guilty and cut out coffee for about two days? I go inward to those places that fill my soul with comfort, warmth and healing. It’s time to ditch my coffee, add extra days of hot yoga at Salt Lake Power Yoga and of course, go shopping on a different level. I have a two favorite “secret” spaces that are sacred to me. There’s no need to buy anything, yet, but you can definitely browse for later. But, take it all in. My favorite hideout is a store called Dancing Cranes Imports (673 E. Simpson Ave., Salt Lake City, 801-486-1129, DancingCranesImports.com). The shop is tucked a little off of 700 East and 2200 South. Upon entering, my nervous system immediately slows down with the sound of devotional music playing—think Krishna Das, Loreena McKennitt or Tibetan chants. This store is a hippie love-fest of gifts, chimes, wall hangings, rocks, crystals, books and anything you can think of for your spiritual advancement. The other reason I visit is for the Solstice tacos at the adjoining vegetarian café called Café Solstice. I’ve been eating these tacos since they were first served at New Frontiers, which later became Wild Oats, then Whole Foods, and, then, goodbye, tacos. Here they are in all their glory, just the way I remember, with miso paste and cheese as a base, sunflower seeds, salad greens and topped with zingy cilantro dressing. Golden Braid Books (151 S. 500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-322-1162, GoldenBraidBooks. com) is another spiritual haven. When I’m feeling used up, I love to browse this gift shop

CHRISTA ZARO comments@cityweekly.net

FANTASTIC MASSAGE


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46 | DECEMBER 31, 2015

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) John Koenig is an artist who invents new words. Here’s one that’s applicable to your journey in 2016: “keyframe.” Koenig defines it as being a seemingly mundane phase of your life that is in fact a turning point. Major plot twists in your big story arrive half-hidden amidst a stream of innocuous events. They don’t come about through “a series of jolting epiphanies,” Koenig says, but rather “by tiny imperceptible differences between one ordinary day and the next.” In revealing this secret, I hope I’ve alerted you to the importance of acting with maximum integrity and excellence in your everyday routine. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) The coming months look like one of the best times ever for your love life. Old romantic wounds are finally ready to be healed. You’ll know what you have to do to shed tired traditions and bad habits that have limited your ability to get the spicy sweetness you deserve. Are you up for the fun challenge? Be horny for deep feelings. Be exuberantly aggressive in honoring your primal yearnings. Use your imagination to dream up new approaches to getting what you want. The innovations in intimacy that you initiate in the coming months will keep bringing you gifts and teachings for years to come. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) In ancient times, observers of the sky knew the difference between stars and planets. The stars remained fixed in their places. The planets wandered around, always shifting positions in relationship to the stars. But now and then, at irregular intervals, a very bright star would suddenly materialize out of nowhere, stay in the same place for a while, and then disappear. Chinese astronomers called these “guest stars.” We refer to them as supernovae. They are previously dim or invisible stars that explode, releasing tremendous energy for a short time. I suspect that in 2016, you may experience the metaphorical equivalent of a guest star. Learn all you can from it. It’ll provide teachings and blessings that could feed you for years. CANCER (June 21-July 22) Be alert for an abundance of interesting lessons in 2016. You will be offered teachings about a variety of practical subjects, including how to take care of yourself really well, how to live the life you want to live, and how to build the connections that serve your dreams. If you are even moderately responsive to the prompts and nudges that come your way, you will become smarter than you thought possible. So just imagine how savvy you’ll be if you ardently embrace your educational opportunities. (Please note that some of these opportunities may be partially in disguise.) LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) The silkworm grows fast. Once it hatches, it eats constantly for three weeks. By the time it spins its cocoon, it’s 10,000 times heavier than it was in the beginning. On the other hand, a mature, 60-foot-tall saguaro cactus may take 30 years to fully grow a new side arm. It’s in no hurry. From what I can tell, Leo, 2015 was more like a silkworm year for you, whereas 2016 will more closely resemble a saguaro. Keep in mind that while the saguaro phase is different from your silkworm time, it’s just as important. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “The sky calls me,” wrote Virgo teacher and poet Sri Chinmoy. “The wind calls me. The moon and stars call me. The dense groves call me. The dance of the fountain calls me. Smiles call me, tears call me. A faint melody calls me. The morn, noon and eve call me. Everyone is searching for a playmate. Everyone is calling me, ‘Come, come!’” In 2016, Virgo, I suspect you will have a lot of firsthand experience with feelings like these. Sometimes life’s seductiveness may overwhelm you, activating confused desires to go everywhere and do everything. On other occasions, you will be enchanted by the lush invitations, and will know exactly how to respond and reciprocate.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) In the 19th century, horses were a primary mode of personal transportation. Some people rode them, and others sat in carriages and wagons that horses pulled. But as cities grew larger, a problem emerged: the mounting manure left behind on the roads. It became an ever-increasing challenge to clear away the equine “pollution.” In 1894, a British newspaper predicted that the streets of London would be covered with nine feet of the stuff by 1950. But then something unexpected happened: cars. Gradually, the threat of an excremental apocalypse waned. I present this story as an example of what I expect for you in 2016: a pressing dilemma that will gradually dissolve because of the arrival of a factor you can’t imagine yet. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) The longest river in the world flows through eastern Africa: the Nile. It originates below the equator and empties into the Mediterranean Sea. Although its current flows north, its prevailing winds blow south. That’s why sailors have found it easily navigable for thousands of years. They can either go with the flow of the water or use sails to harness the power of the breeze. I propose that we make the Nile your official metaphor in 2016, Scorpio. You need versatile resources that enable you to come and go as you please—that are flexible in supporting your efforts to go where you want and when you want. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) In many cases, steel isn’t fully useful if it’s too hard. Manufacturers often have to soften it a bit. This process, which is called tempering, makes the steel springier and more malleable. Car parts, for example, can’t be too rigid. If they were, they’d break too easily. I invite you to use “tempering” as one of your main metaphors in 2016, Sagittarius. You’re going to be strong and vigorous, and those qualities will serve you best if you keep them flexible. Do you know the word “ductile”? If not, look it up. It’ll be a word of power for you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) In his essay “The Etiquette of Freedom,” poet Gary Snyder says that wildness “is perennially within us, dormant as a hardshelled seed, awaiting the fire or flood that awakes it again.” The fact that it’s a “hard-shelled” seed is a crucial detail. The vital stuff inside the stiff outer coating may not be able to break out and start growing without the help of a ruckus. A fire or flood? They might do the job. But I propose, Capricorn, that in 2016 you find an equally vigorous but less disruptive prod to liberate your dormant wildness. Like what? You could embark on a brave pilgrimage or quest. You could dare yourself to escape your comfort zone. Are there any undomesticated fantasies you’ve been suppressing? Unsuppress them! AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Frederick the Great was King of Prussia between 1740 and 1786. He was also an Aquarius who sometimes experimented with eccentric ideas. When he brewed his coffee, for example, he used champagne instead of water. Once the hot elixir was ready to drink, he mixed in a dash of powdered mustard. In light of the astrological omens, I suspect that Frederick’s exotic blend might be an apt symbol for your life in 2016: a vigorous, rich, complex synthesis of champagne, coffee and mustard. (P.S. Frederick testified that “champagne carries happiness to the brain.”) PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) My Piscean acquaintance Arturo plays the piano as well as anyone I’ve heard. He tells me that he can produce 150 different sounds from any single key. Using the foot pedals accounts for some of the variation. How he touches a key is an even more important factor. It can be percussive, fluidic, staccato, relaxed, lively and many other moods. I invite you to cultivate a similar approach to your unique skills in 2016. Expand and deepen your ability to draw out the best in them. Learn how to be even more expressive with the powers you already possess.


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The Other Side H

iring movers can be a daunting task because it’s expensive—you have to plan and be able to trust who you hire. Would you hire a felon or an alcoholic or substance abuser to move your boxes? I don’t think I’d do it, unless it were a crew from The Other Side Movers. Who are these new kids on the block? The Other Side Academy has just opened in Salt Lake City in the historic Armstrong Mansion at 667 E. 100 South. It’s a nonprofit group similar to a very famously successful organization called the Delancey Street Foundation in San Francisco, Los Angeles, as well as in New Mexico, North Carolina, New York, South Carolina and Massachusetts. It’s a two-year, live-in educational program for ex-cons, drug abusers, homeless and other folk that teaches residents how to live successful, productive lives free from crime and substance abuse. Delancey Street is run by ex-cons and exaddicts and has trained people to become teachers, general contractors and truck drivers. It owns several businesses where clients work: a café and restaurant, a print shop, moving and trucking jobs, paratransit, landscaping, Christmas tree sales and decorating. The Other Side Academy could end up having the same success in Utah if potential clients understand the concept and support the cause. “Even though you might dread moving, you will love that you are doing good by helping save lives of those who once were lost, and you will be thrilled at the professional quality of our service. We do good work while doing good works,” say the staff. Proceeds from the fees charged for moving go directly to the house to feed and clothe those rebuilding their lives. Academy clients pay no fees. Most astonishing is the fact that The Other Side doesn’t take any government funds. Best-selling Mormon author Joseph Grennyand and business partner Tim Stay have chosen four felons to help create and lead the program here, with David Durocher as managing director. Durocher was arrested at the age of 13, spent 15 years in prison over four stays and ended up becoming the managing director of a Delancey Street facility with 250 residents. Other alumni of Delancey will join him: Alan Fahringer, Lola Zagey and Martin Anderson Imagine how hard it is to be an addict and being lucky enough to land temporary housing. But try getting a job as a convicted felon with little job experience. The odds of success are pathetically low, so kudos to these people who want to help in our city, our state. Call 801-784-8466. Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not by City Weekly staff

Julie A. Brizzée

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City Weekly Dec 31, 2015  

The Zion Zodiac

City Weekly Dec 31, 2015  

The Zion Zodiac