City Weekly March 19, 2015

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T

MARCH 19, 2015 | VOL. 31

N0. 45

Up In The Air Lawmakers may not have acted on health care or Zion walls, but they sure did juggle the issues.

By Colby Frazier

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2 | MARCH 19, 2015

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Up in the Air

Lawmakers may not have acted on health care or Zion walls, but they sure did juggle the issues.

Cover photo illustration by Bryan Beach

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CONTRIBUTOR

LETTERS opinion NEWS A&E DINE CINEMA true tv MUSIC COMMUNITY

cityweekly

Tiffany Frandsen Five Spot, p. 8 Tiffany is a journalism student, sleepwalker, hiker and avid playlist maker. As a native Salt Laker, she spends too much time searching for parking and can be bribed with saltwater taffy.

Accomplishments include unjamming hundreds of staplers.

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Letters Music & Memory

Thank you for a wonderful article on music therapy [Five Spot, March 5, City Weekly]. My caregiver’s support group recently watched the film Alive Inside about how music can help those suffering from memory loss—there was not a dry eye in the room.

My 96-year-old mother has macular degeneration and is legally blind. She also is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and has major memory problems, both short- and longterm. I would love for her to have her chosen music. I gave her activities director the article on Alle Salazar’s program and suggested we work on getting my mother and other residents in her assisted-living facility all set up. I’d like to help collect the necessary equipment.

May I suggest an outreach to prospective Eagle Scouts for them to do a collecting project? Teens are probably the most plugged-in group in America, and they go through lots of electronics. A scout in my neighborhood collected blankets for a homeless shelter—I believe he wound up with more than 100 blankets and helped a great many people.

How about posters at electronic stores and the electronic departments of department stores for customers to bring in their old iPods, chargers and Skull Candy? I see optometrists collecting eyeglasses to send to Third World patients; these recipients are close to home. What do you think?

WRITE US: Salt Lake City Weekly, 248 S. Main, Salt Lake City, UT 84101. E-mail: comments@cityweekly.net. Fax: 801-575-6106.

We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity. Preference will be given to letters that are 300 words or less and sent uniquely to City Weekly. Full name, address and phone number must be included, even on e-mailed submissions, for verification purposes.

Thank you for your dedication and enthusiasm.

Vicki Martin Clearfield Editor’s note: To participate, donate, volunteer or learn more about Jewish Family Services’ Music & Memory Program, visit JFSUtah.org/our-programs/music-memory.

Protect Water From Homo-Horde

What makes Gov. Gary Herbert think state legislation will be any more effective in preserving freedom of religion than it was in banning same-sex marriage?

The governor of Kansas revoked anti-discrimination protection for the LGBT after my letter to the editor was printed in the Kansas City Star describing the hateful, hostile, harassing homo-horde that used to gather around Temple Square at conference time.

Gov. Herbert should not support anti-discrimination laws if he wants to preserve our population from embracing homosexuality.

The Guinness Ted Scheffler noted in his somewhat inaccurate piece [“Guinness for St. Paddy’s,” March 12, City Weekly], which falls in around 4.1-4.3 percent, is the Guinness that’s sold all around the U.K., where the pub scene isn’t necessarily about just getting drunk. This same alcohol level is also (conveniently) sold in Utah to comply with the state’s archaic and morally misguided alcohol laws.

The second type is sold around the rest of the county, and can be found in Utah liquor stores—that’s 5.5 percent alcohol.

The third, containing 7.5 percent alcohol, is exported to Third World countries where bang for the buck is what’s sought. This type can be found at specialty beer stores as well as some Utah liquor stores, labeled “Guinness Special Export.”

Dave Wagner Ras Tanura, Saudi Arabia Editor’s note: Ted Scheff ler was referring to the alcohol content of Guinness draught in his article, not bottled beer.

Staff

Michael W. Jarvis Salt Lake City

Guinness Facts

There are in fact three different levels of alcohol in Guinness sold around the world.

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Protecting your most precious cargo

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Dr. Strangelaw

The continued existence of Neanderthals is why, in our enlightened society, we have laws.

Laws rein in and regulate the bruteforce power of the ruling class, and give us Average Joes a fighting chance to achieve self-reliance and freedom, and to contribute our geeky talents to society. Without the Constitution, there never would have been a powerful middle class such as existed during the mid-20th century, which allowed the United States to accomplish so much—from helping win two world wars and landing men on the Moon to creating Hollywood movies and developing the Internet—and is why historians call the hundred years between 1900 and 1999 “The American Century.”

In the 21st century, we have seen the middle class eroded to the point that now it’s just about impossible for Average Joe to catch an even break.

The cavemen are winning.

That’s why it’s so remarkable that Senate Bill 296 “Antidiscrimination and Religious Freedom Amendments” was signed into law.

The bill, which passed March 12 amid much fanfare by LGBT activists and LDS Church authorities alike, codifies the rights of people to be secure in their jobs and their homes without fear of reprisal from anti-gay bosses and landlords.

There’s just one problem: The bill also codifies the rights of religious organizations to fully discriminate against LGBT people if such organizations believe, for instance, that the gays are not only going to burn in hell for all eternity, but that society should also strive in this world, whenever legally possible, to go the extra mile to make gay people’s lives a little bit more hellish.

Now, I’m not sure that, as a gay man, I’ve ever been subject to employment discrimination. Since I was 15, I’ve made my gay identity very clear. There was only one job at which I tried to remain in the closet.

And I soon learned that, if some homophobes are uncomfortable around gays, they’re a million times more sketched-out

6 | MARCH 19, 2015

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OPINION

STAFF BOX

BY Brandon burt

around closeted gays. I don’t think I’ve experienced any stress greater than that of living a double life. I had panic attacks. I made myself sick. The day I quit, I was relieved.

When subjected to stress, the human endocrine system releases a cascade of hormones that assist in the fight-or-flight response. It’s a trait that has evolved genetically over aeons, and it has proved a valuable adaptation that allows us to escape or defend against attacks by meat-eating predators such as lions and tigers and bears (oh my!).

But how well does this adaptation serve us in the modern world? In this day and age, in Salt Lake City, a relatively civilized and enlightened society far removed from the savage forest inhabited by our Paleolithic Era ancestors, it is a rare occurrence that one of us might have to fight a tiger or run from a lion.

Back in the good old days, we might occasionally be pursued by bears, but such situations had the tendency, one way or the other, to work themselves out quickly. Sometimes you eat the bear; sometimes the bear eats you. That kind of stress resolves itself within moments.

But, in today’s Information Age, we are subject to more long-term, chronic stressors.

As late-night TV ads for cortisol-combating miracle supplements attest, it is stress hormones that cause weight-gain, inflammation, depression and all kinds of neurological disorders. This is the plight of modern humans. And few modern humans are more chronically stressed than humans who can be fired from their jobs or lose their homes at any moment for no other reason than that their employers or landlords believe that same-sex action is icky.

Today, it’s heartbreaking to think that, all their lives, many LGBT people may have to put up with the BS I went through during my short time on that job where I had to remain closeted. SB296 provides a measure of sanity and protection on most jobs. OK, so gay Scoutmasters still can’t come out of the closet. Neither can lesbians working in the

Church Office Building.

But a young gay man working in the same position I was, doing PC support and stringing network cable in the IT department of a local heavy-equipment manufacturer, can now safely claim his full potential as a talented member of staff and not worry that some homophobic manager will take offense and fire him.

This is how I stopped worrying and learned to love SB296. It is a great step forward. But where does that one step really take us?

Until this issue came up, many people assumed employment and housing protections were already in place for all Americans.

Lots of folks were surprised to learn it was legal to fire somebody for being gay.

It’s not that these folks were willfully ignorant or blithely unaware of the plight of LGBT people.

It’s just that the thought that somebody could be fired for an inborn trait seems inconceivable. It’s un-American. That’s not how things are supposed to work in the country.

Now these job and housing protections are real, set down in black and white as the law of the land in Utah.

Some fear that the religious protections included in the bill will actually turn out to give homophobes carte blanche to bully LGBTs employees. Some people see a man who’s too effeminate, or a woman who’s too butch, and it messes with their Neanderthal monkey brains. Stress hormones go through the roof, and their first instinct is to grab a club and start swinging.

But SB296 is not that club. The religious protections are strictly limited to church organizations. For the vast majority of Utahns, these job and housing protections are real. We can finally breathe a sigh of relief. One big stressor has been eliminated, and cortisol levels are dropping.

It’s an imperfect bill. It’s a compromise.

But it might work. CW Send feedback to bburt@cityweekly.net.

This is how I stopped worrying and learned to love SB296.

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

What stresses you out the most?

What makes you want to turn into a caveman and start swinging your club?

Andrea Moore: Accepting that my actions only make little changes when I really want to make huge changes right now.

Club swinging? Ignorance, arrogance and greed.

Jackie Briggs: Waiting. Waiting on answers, for people, for things to happen. My impatience has hit an all-time high. I need to know everything now.

Paula Saltas: The scale stresses me out. I thought the carb diet was to eat as many carbs in a day as you can.

John Saltas: Stress: Easy, pivoting this newspaper into digital channels and social information networks. Swing a club: When people pay more attention to inappropriate pictures of leprechauns on Facebook than they do on stories about education reform or tending the needy.

Alissa Dimick: My road rage. I will be the person you read about who dies in a roadside altercation. The second I get on the road, I hate every man, woman and child on the planet.

Nicole Enright: It’s not so much the stress, but the absurdity. People complain so much about getting free stuff. It’s insane to me. Now you have something that you wouldn’t otherwise have. Be grateful, not rude.

Jerre Wroble: Interstate 15 at 8:30 a.m.

Make way for the cave woman, fellow freeway-faring souls!

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Lady Bird Johnson would be doing a jig over the defeat of House Bill 407, the billboard industry’s definition of “scenic.” In 1965, the Highway Beautification Act was passed to protect the natural beauty along highways largely in rural areas. Rep. Mike Noel, R-Kanab, apparently saw scenic beauty in a different light. For Noel, the concept of property rights is not so much about protecting property values as it is “the right to do anything without thought about how it might affect anyone or anything else, even the state of the state,” Ty Markham wrote in the Park Record. The bill would have allowed property owners to “opt out” of the scenic byway designation and erect billboards on small portions of their land. Senate Majority Leader Ralph Okerland, R-Monroe, brought up the bill at midnight on the last day of the session, hoping to pass it when no one was looking. It died for lack of a look.

Directional Signs OK Noel’s bill might have been “the tit for the tat” over the passage of House Bill 269. That was a bill to allow UDOT to place directional signs in rural areas. Those are the square highway signs that tell travelers of restaurants and lodging in the area. Come on, these are not billboards.

But the billboard industry fought them nonetheless. In 2010, the Legislature, for some reason, agreed that UDOT should not administer the sign program in rural areas. John Holland, the Byway Coordinator for Scenic Byway 12, shepherded the bill through as a small shout-out to economic development in rural areas. The “not-a-billboard” legislation passed despite the billboard industry’s lobbying.

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Thanks goes to Rep. Becky Edwards, R-North Salt Lake, for passing House Bill 226 in a Legislature that wasn’t all that friendly to air-quality legislation. Edwards’ bill would have allowed the Division of Air Quality to draft its own regulations even if they were stricter than the federal government’s. The idea was for Utah experts to create and adopt Utah-specific solutions to air problems.

The bill has been debated for years and nearly died because of wording that didn’t play well with Edwards’ GOP colleagues. So, she changed the wording from “more stringent rules” to “different rules,” and the bill passed.

“Different” did it, she said. “We can only be different going in one direction.” Strictly speaking.

I/O, a post-rock band out of Boston’s Berklee College of Music, features Utah’s own Tyler Hicks (pictured above at center). The band was recently featured on Dorm Sessions 10, an annual compilation album showcasing 11 bands from Berklee’s student-run record company, Heavy Rotations Records. City Weekly recently chatted with Hicks, a native of Draper and guitarist for his five-piece instrumental band. You can hear I/O at CityWeekly.net/FiveSpot.

Where did the name I/O come from?

I’m a music production and engineering major at Berklee, and “I/O” is an audio term meaning “input/output.” We latched onto that, our music having no vocalist or words.

Listeners can impose their own meaning. What they put into it is what they get out of it.

We felt like that idea fit.

What’s your music’s message?

There’s no particular message. I like the idea of people putting their own story to it, putting themselves into it. Everyone in the band had a different feeling when they wrote those songs. Some people were thinking about ex-girlfriends, some were thinking about stress or school, but we all met in the middle and made the song. It’s a collective emotion between all of us. Even when we play the songs today, we feel different emotions than we did when we wrote them. My experience doesn’t have to be their experience, and they don’t need to have the same experience every time they listen.

You’ve already recorded your debut album Saudade. How did that come about?

I have a friend who graduated from the same program—music engineering—and he was freelancing in a studio. He got us together and we produced it ourselves. We already had the songs arranged and, to save money, we recorded the songs live. Everything you hear is live. We did that in seven or eight hours one night. We just got a bunch of Red Bull, pizza and coffee.

Do you want to produce when you graduate?

Yes, I’d like to open my own studio and record. Hopefully, pursue I/O as long as I can; hopefully, that will become a big thing, and I can do both. That would be my goal: to take the band as far as I can, open my own studio and help people record their music.

It’s quite the honor to be featured on Dorm Sessions 10, right?

It was really cool to play the showcase. That was the biggest audience we’ve played for.

It was completely free. They had all this merch they gave to people as an incentive to go, and it was cool to see how that affected people’s attendance. It was cool to see people who work on Heavy Rotation Records put everything together and put together a big show. And it was cool to be put together with so many great artists.

By Tiffany Frandsen comments@cityweekly.net

STRAIGHT DOPE Bad Medicine I once heard that Dr. Mengele’s experiments were medicine’s “dirty little secret”: Modern medical science had gained from his atrocities, but such a fact couldn’t be made public.

Later, though, a friend in the biomedical tech industry told me he had never found any reference to Mengele’s work in the literature and that his experiments had no medical value.

Can you shed some light on this?

—Gilad, U.K.

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hypothermia treatment technique called rapid active rewarming. On the other hand, he killed as many as 90 people to do it.

The Dachau data were published in a 1946 report by a U.S. medical advisor at the Nuremberg trials and quietly used by various researchers over the years until, in 1988, Dr. Robert Pozos of the University of Minnesota’s Hypothermia Laboratory brought Rascher’s work to wider attention in hopes of starting a discussion about bioethics. He got one: Impassioned doctors, ethicists, and Holocaust survivors weighed in; conferences were organized. The editor of the New England Journal of Medicine flatly declared the data unusable.

At around the same time, authors of a draft report for the Environmental Protection Agency cited Nazi data on phosgene from 1943, when doctors exposed 52 prisoners to the gas (used as a chemical weapon in World War I) and timed how long it took them to die.

This information was relevant to regulating phosgene use at U.S. plastics and pesticide plants, but 22 EPA scientists wrote a letter objecting, and the citation was deleted.

Josef Mengele’s work didn’t pose such ethical quandaries. He’d published one prewar paper on hereditary cleft palates, but his notorious experiments at Auschwitz on hundreds of pairs of twins produced no notable conclusions. He did, however, contribute significantly to a subtler Nazi plot: the channeling of thousands of victims’ brains and other organs, cadavers, and blood and tissue samples to major research institutions, including the prestigious Kaiser Wilhelm Institute for Brain Research. Many prominent German neuroscientists worked with the brains: Julius Hallervorden, for example, went on to discover a rare neurodegenerative disorder that until recently bore his name (now it’s called NBIA). Most of these doctors died with their reputations intact.

But that was legitimate lab work. By contrast, the camp experiments were never likely to be good science: Besides being overly concerned with efficient methods of killing people, they were tainted by racial bias and the use of atypically unhealthy subject groups. Their only really useful outcome was the Nuremberg Code—the first major enumeration of international research ethics, written into the verdict of the Nazi doctors’ trial in 1947. It took humanity 200,000 years, but we finally developed the moral maturity to realize you shouldn’t feed unwitting schoolchildren radioactive breakfast cereal just to see what happens.

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You’re actually both right—but then again, pretty much all medical research back then was a dirty little secret. These days, studies consist of college kids getting paid 40 bucks to smoke weed and sit in an MRI scanner for an hour, but things were different back in the day: The Tuskegee syphilis experiment, where rural men with the disease were kept ignorant of their condition and prevented from getting treatment, is justly infamous, but there’s also the 1940s case where inmates at a New York correctional facility were directed to swallow suspended fecal matter so researchers could study a stomach bug. In 1942, Jonas Salk himself led a study that injected insane-asylum patients in Michigan with a experimental flu vaccine, apparently with less than fully informed consent. The list goes on.

Of course, if we’re talking circles of hell, none of these would place you as deep in the inferno as the experiments conducted in Nazi concentration camps, which regularly crossed the line into pure sadism and horror—like the one where condemned female prisoners were told the date they’d be executed so researchers could study the effect of the psychological trauma on the women’s menstrual cycles. But most Nazi medical research was intensely professional; proportionately, more German physicians (48 percent) joined the Nazi party than any other occupation. And Germany was a science powerhouse; through 1939, Germans accounted for more than a third of all Nobel prizes in medicine, chemistry, and physics.

So yes, there’s plenty of Nazi-era research that doctors have used and built on ever since: Nazi scientists were pioneers in the study of hormones and vitamins, they were the first to discover the link between smoking and lung cancer, and they had the most aggressive and successful cancerprevention program of the time.

But the data gathered in the concentration camps tended towards the gruesome, unscientific and fairly useless. Two cases where these experiments did have some clear public-health application, though, involved phosgene gas and hypothermia. The latter was part of German efforts to save Luftwaffe pilots downed in the North Sea: Working at Dachau, SS doctor Sigmund Rascher had prisoners strapped down naked in freezing weather or submerged in ice water for hours at a time; blood, urine, and mucus samples were taken regularly while their body temperature dropped. On one hand, Rascher obtained data that no responsible researcher ever could, and he developed the life-saving

BY CECIL ADAMS

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OCHO

the list of EIGHT

by bill frost

@bill_frost

NEWS St. Johnson

L aw & O r d e r

Washington County sheriffs nonplussed about relationship with indicted businessman.

By Eric S. Peterson epeterson@cityweekly.net @ericspeterson

Eight lesser-known bills passed by the 2015 Utah Legislature:

8. Anybody can marry any-

body—but only in the presence of the Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost and that one Mormon relative who’s “cool with it.”

7.

Tougher clean-air standards for fat-cat corporate polluters.

6.

Easier discreet payoff solutions for fat-cat corporate polluters.

5. Medical marijuana, breast-

feeding mothers and e-cigarettes have been wished to the cornfield.

4. The Utah State Prison will

also be relocated to said cornfield.

3. Lyft and Uber drivers who force passengers to listen to dubstep will face the (newly reinstated) firing squad.

2.

Stricter regulation of local Liberal Media by the Illuminati.

1.

In addition to a raise, Gary Herbert also gets a new bouncy house behind the Governor’s Mansion.

Jeremy Johnson’s headline should have read “local man makes it big.” Instead, it’s “local man charged with a $275 million fraud.”

Unlike other Utah-based entrepreneurs who have landed in the crosshairs of federal regulators, Jeremy Johnson is unique because of his humble beginnings. In the mid-2000s, Johnson launched his Internet-marketing business, I Works, in St. George, what was then a relatively small city in Utah. And as his company took off, Johnson, ever loyal to his roots, gave generously to numerous local causes and made himself a hometown hero.

Johnson ingratiated himself to many politicians, and, in particular, to local law enforcement in Washington County. It’s a relationship that lately has felt a little awkward for individuals like Washington County Sheriff Cory Pulsipher.

That’s because in 2010, Johnson was hit with a civil lawsuit from the Federal Trade Commission, and in 2011, he was criminally indicted by the Department of Justice. The FTC would allege I Works sold a service to customers looking for government grants to start businesses or buy cell phones, and would then use numerous shell companies to tack hidden charges onto consumers’ credit cards.

Johnson then made headlines in 2013 when he told The Salt Lake Tribune that he’d enlisted John Swallow, who was then chief deputy at the Utah Attorney General’s Office, in a scheme to bribe Sen. Harry Reid, D-Nev., hoping to call off the Federal Trade Commission investigation of his company. Johnson’s alleged scheme didn’t achieve the desired results. Swallow, who would go on to be elected Utah Attorney General and then resign a year later, now faces numerous felony corruption charges. He has long maintained that he had only offered to help Johnson lobby Reid, not bribe him.

Sheriff Pulsipher recalls Johnson as a friend, though not a close one. He says he hasn’t socialized with Johnson since Johnson was sued civilly by the FTC in December 2010. Since Pulsipher took office in 2011 and even before, the sheriff recalls Johnson’s generosity to the department. Johnson loaned his plane and helicopter to aid in search & rescue operations, for example. Pulsipher recalls before he was elected sheriff and was only a deputy, Johnson for a few years paid for special Christmas dinners to be served to county jail inmates and bought them telephone calling cards. And, for a number of years—before Johnson’s charges came down—he recalls that Johnson paid for a corporate pass to Brian Head ski resort in nearby Beaver. The pass was left in the sheriff’s office, and deputies were welcome to take turns using it to go skiing and boarding in their off time.

In February and March 2010, Johnson donated $60,000 toward the construction of an equipment barn to be used by the Washington County Sheriff’s Office and to help fund a trades program for county inmates to receive vocational credit in return for helping build the facility.

“He was just all over the place, helping out wherever he could and with whatever he could,” Pulsipher says.

Johnson was also on good terms with Kirk Smith, the former Washington County sheriff. In late 2006, the two even swapped some real estate. Smith paid Johnson some cash and traded him an undeveloped lot in Santa Clara in exchange for Johnson’s resort cabin in what Smith describes as a beautiful location surrounded

by Zion National Park.

Smith says it was a win-win deal since it saved him the “hassle”

PHOTO COURTESY WASHINGTON COUNTY SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT

the

Top: Washington County Sheriff Cory Pulsipher; Left: Indicted businessman Jeremy Johnson

of having to build a home on the lot he owned in Santa Clara and that Johnson had been trying to sell the cabin for some time. “He didn’t give me more for that property than the lot was selling for, so there was no conflict of interest,” Smith says.

In a February 2015 interview with City Weekly, Johnson’s recollection was unclear about whether he was trying to sell the cabin at the time, but he remembers it as an ordinary transaction, started by Smith commenting to him about cabins in the area. “He wanted a cabin, so I said, ‘Hey, buy mine. I don’t even use it that much,’” Johnson says.

Smith retired in 2010 and has had little contact with Johnson since then. Still, he is withholding judgment until Johnson gets his day in court—his trial is now scheduled for September 2015.

“Just remember, in America, we’re innocent until proven guilty, and Jeremy is entitled to all of those same privileges that you and I are entitled to,” Smith says.

Pulsipher won Smith’s seat in 2010, and he noted that, while Johnson did not donate cash to his campaign, Johnson paid for at least 300 trifold brochures for his election. Pulsipher recalls that Johnson never told him how much the brochures cost, despite Pulsipher asking Johnson repeatedly for a figure so he could file his campaign reports. Unable to get an estimate from Johnson, Pulsipher simply told a county clerk how many brochures there were. A City Weekly reporter pointed out to Pulsipher that this printing donation was never disclosed on his report. Pulsipher told City Weekly in February that, after consultation with county clerks and others, he intended to amend his 2010 report to show an estimated $300 donation from Johnson for the brochure expenses—but, as of press time, Pulsipher had not corrected his campaign record.

Pulsipher says he got a lot of flak during that election because of his past friendship with Johnson. “People said he bought the election for me,” Pulsipher says. “Really? He just bought my trifolds.”

Johnson drew a blank when asked about the brochure donation. “I have no idea,” Johnson says. CW

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CITIZEN REVOLT

NEWS

EN V IRONMENT

by COLBY FRAZIER @colbyfrazierlp

Mindful Activity Utah’s School and Institutional Trust Lands Administration (SITLA) is busy every day making money off land that belongs to school children. The ways it makes money—oil & gas leasing, grazing, outright sales to developers and many more—will be open to scrutiny at their monthly meeting. Then, cure your legislative hangover by attending an event by the Forum for Questioning Minds during which a new Latino advocacy group will be discussed. Follow that up by training to become a school-programs volunteer at Red Butte Gardens.

SITLA Board Meeting Thursday, March 19

Anyone interested in what happens on Utah’s public lands should attend a meeting of the School & Institutional Trust Lands Administration, which, with rapidly expanding oil & gas leasing, and tar sands and oil-shale development, has bought a lot of books and pencils for Utah’s schoolchildren. At this meeting, they’ll discuss grazing and selling off parcels to developers, and a mineral lessee will give a presentation.

SITL A board room, 675 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City, March 19, 9 a.m.-noon, TrustLands.Utah.gov

Forum for Questioning Minds Sunday, March 22

The Forum for Questioning Minds is presenting a discussion concerning a new group called Latinos United Promoting Education and Civic Engagement. Luis Lopez, director of Community Education at Weber State University, and Azenett Garza, associate professor of psychology at Weber State, will present.

Salt Lake City Main Library, Fourth Floor, 210 E. 400 South, Salt Lake City, March 22, 2-3:30 p.m.

Red Butte Garden Volunteer Training

Wednesday, March 25 Red Butte Garden is hosting a pair of training sessions for its school-program volunteers. These volunteers work with students in kindergarten through sixth grade at the garden’s camps and at other events during the summer. In addition to getting to meet new people and spend time outdoors, volunteers learn about botany and ecology. An additional training session will be held March 26.

Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 9 a.m.-noon, register RedButteGarden.org / volunteer-application, e-mail volunteer@redbutte.utah.edu.

Lake Powell

Drink Up Lawmakers eye water pipelines as key to Utah’s water future.

By Colby Frazier cfrazier@cityweekly.net @colbyfrazierlp With California-like temperatures during a month-long chunk of winter, and a snowpack that on Feb. 1 was only 84 percent of normal, Utah and the West are once again speeding toward a year of hearty drought.

By midsummer, water woes will certainly be on the minds of anyone living in a desert community. But in Utah, a few things will most likely remain the same, drought or not: Utahns will remain among the most prolific water users in the nation. They will also continue paying bargain prices for their water, and the word “conservation” will be little more than a concept uttered in T V commercials.

Behind the scenes, and inside the granite fortress that is the Utah Capitol, lawmakers have long fixated on a couple of massive water projects that, while accomplishing nothing for the people who live here now, will—they say—provide water for the millions of Utahns predicted to arrive between now and 2050 or so, when state leaders say the state’s population will double in size.

For state water managers, the crown jewels of future water supplies lie in the thinning snowpacks of the Uintah Mountains, where the Bear River originates, and in the vastly depleted waters of Lake Powell.

Both of the overtaxed Bear and Colorado rivers are ripe for Utah’s picking. And proposals are underway that would affix a pipeline to each water system. The Bear would deliver water to the Wasatch Front, while the Lake Powell pipeline would stretch across 140 miles and deliver water to the booming desert town of St. George.

Skepticism about whether these projects, estimated to cost billions of dollars, are a waste of taxpayer money and whether the water they aim to deliver even exists outside of spreadsheets has been fodder for much debate.

But for the past 15 months, Utah’s Office of the Legislative Auditor has been working on an audit that was called, in part, to investigate whether or not state water bosses are using bad water-use data to justify these costly projects.

In spite of the pending audit and concerns from residents, the Legislature, on the final day of its 2015 session, approved a bill that will create a fund for future tax revenues to be diverted to help pay for these pipelines and tens of billions of dollars in other water projects.

The bill’s sponsor, Sen. Stuart Adams, R-Layton, said at a March 3 Senate committee hearing that “probably the only limiting factor to growth is water development.”

Adams fielded the toughest questions not from critics of Utah’s water policies, but from Sen. Allen Christensen, R-North Ogden, who said he couldn’t figure out why Adams would create a fund that lacks any money to fill it with.

Earmark funds with no money, Christensen said, are typically closed, not opened.

“For the life of me, I don’t see the purpose, the practical purpose, of doing this,” Christensen said. “Establishing a fund with no money, it’s like a homeless guy buying a wallet.”

As the bill sped through the process in the final two days of the session, any concern about lack of money was quelled by a last-minute infusion of $5 million, which will be deposited into the fund in 2016.

Zach Frankel, executive director of the Utah Rivers Council, says the haste with which an unnecessary fund was created was done to pre-empt the audit. “We think it’s a rush to get this bill passed before the audit comes out because the core of the audit is that the Division of Water Resources has been inflating future water needs specifically for Bear River development and the Lake Powell pipeline,” Frankel said.

Additionally, Frankel says, once funds are created, they are difficult to close. The mere existence of the fund prior to release of the audit could make it easier for lawmakers to begin diverting ever-larger sums of money into the fund with less scrutiny, Frankel said.

One of those who voted against the bill in committee was Sen. Jani Iwamoto, D-Holladay, who pointed out that in the case of the Lake Powell pipeline—which would pump the water 2,000 feet uphill along its journey to Washington County—the depleted Colorado River is already over-allocated to users downstream.

Gabriel Lozada, an associate professor of economics at the University of Utah, said the state needs to deal with its “massive price distortion” when it comes to water before it builds any new projects. Because Utahns pay for water through their property-tax bills, the actual costs of water here can be masked. And because the price of water is a key ingredient to encouraging conservation, the thought goes that Utahns could conserve much more than they do if they actually paid similar prices as consumers in other Western states pay.

“The projections of need for massive new water projects in the state is not because of population growth, but because of the way that water is currently priced in Utah,” Lozada said, noting that in St. George, a single penny buys 131 glasses of water, while in Tucson, Ariz., a penny buys 10 glasses of water. “What we need to do first is come up with a rational way of pricing water in Utah.

That’s the first necessity.” CW

NEWS

Car, Where’s My Dude?

Ride-hailing service Uber announced it is teaming up with Pittsburgh’s Carnegie Mellon University to research driverless vehicles. Uber boss Travis Kalanick said not having to pay a driver would make Uber so cheap that users wouldn’t need to own a car. (The Economist)

QUIRKS

Curses, Foiled Again British police investigating the theft of tools and a shower stall from a home-remodeling project in Crawley arrested Ryan Marsh, 18, after he returned to the job site and tried to sell the items back to the contractor. (Britain’s Crawley News) n Police looking for the man who beat up a woman in Ambridge, Pa., and held her captive for 12 hours, found him trying to flee town by bus. An hour after the victim called 911, suspect Donald Harrison, 22, posted the Facebook message, “It’s time to leave PA.” The next day, she told police she spotted Harrison’s selfie on Facebook, announcing, “OMW to Spartanburg SC.” The Spartanburg bus had just left, so officers caught up to it and arrested Harrison. “We like it when dumb criminals assist in our investigation,” police Chief James Mann said, noting the Pittsburgh suburb has already been featured on World’s Dumbest Criminals for “a couple of things.” (Beaver County Times)

Second-Amendment Follies Authorities accused Stefanie Felicia Stern, 28, of leaving her 3-year-old daughter alone in a liquor store in Deerfield Beach, Fla., while she left to hide a handgun after her boyfriend shot himself in the leg. Her arrest warrant said boyfriend Reginald Leon Lee, 34, got into an argument with another customer and chased him out by waving his gun. While putting the gun back in his waistband, he fumbled, and the weapon accidentally fired.

n A 4-year-old boy was shot in the leg in Wasilla, Alaska, when his mother’s .357-caliber handgun accidentally fell out of its holster, struck the pavement and fired. State troopers said the bullet went through the boy’s leg. (Associated Press)

Tough Love Elizabeth Hupp arranged the armed kidnapping of her 6-yearold son to teach him a lesson, Missouri authorities said, because his family thought he was being too nice to people he didn’t know.

Officials said the boy’s grandmother, an aunt and a co-worker of the aunt also took part in the ordeal, during which the boy was tied up and threatened with a gun, had his pants removed and was told he could be sold into sex slavery. After four hours, police said the boy “was unbound and told to go upstairs, where the family lectured him about stranger danger.” (CNN)

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When Guns Are Outlawed While delegates at a United Nations disarmament forum in Switzerland were discussing ways to improve transparency, the delegate from Belarus warned that opening meetings to the public posed a threat to security. “What if there were topless ladies screaming from the public gallery throwing bottles of mayonnaise?” the diplomat asked. (Reuters) Boom Market Shares of contraceptive companies soared in South Korea after the country’s highest court ruled that a law banning adultery was unconstitutional. The law was enacted in 1953, but the five-judge Constitutional Court decided the law “infringes people’s right to make their own decisions on sex and secrecy and freedom of their private life.” After the ruling, shares of latex-maker Unidus Corp. rose 15 percent. Hyundai Pharmaceutical Co. Ltd., which makes morning-after birth control pills, saw its stock rise 9.7 percent.

Prosecutors said the ban had resulted in 892 people being indicted on adultery charges last year, although none went to jail. (Reuters) Grand Dupery Two convenience store employees almost destroyed the premises after receiving a call from someone claiming to be the store’s security company. Police in Globe, Ariz., said the caller told the workers the silent fire alarm was going off and that to stop it, they had to discharge fire extinguishers in the store, throw the extinguishers through the windows and then destroy merchandise, computers, registers and security televisions, all while customers were shopping. It was when they were told to destroy the computers that the pair suspected the call was a prank.

Damage amounted to $30,000, and the store closed for 12 hours to clean up the mess. “They thought they were acting righteously,” police Sgt. A.J. Castaneda said. (Phoenix’s KSAZ-TV) Compiled from news sources by Roland Sweet. Authentication on demand.

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Hole-Diggery Japan’s 15th annual hole-digging championships awarded 100,000 yen ($830) to a team from Saitama that dug down 11.4 feet in the allotted 30 minutes. A record 305 teams entered this year’s event, tournament official Ai Okazaki said, adding, “It takes about a week for our staff to gradually refill the holes.”

(Agence France-Presse)

Lee claimed a stranger had shot him, but surveillance video proved otherwise. It showed Stern running out with the gun but without the child. (South Florida Sun Sentinel)

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Law-Makery A bill introduced in the Hawaii House would let people change gender on their birth certificates without first having a sexchange operation. “There’s a lot of people out there for whom gender identity and self-expression are fundamental issues,” said Rep. Chris Lee, House Bill 631’s lead author. Debate over the measure centers on whether the new certificates should indicate a change has been made. (Honolulu Star Advertiser)

BY ROLAND SWEET

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MARCH 19, 2015 | 13

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14 | MARCH 19, 2015

Lawmakers may not have acted on health care or Zion walls, but they U sure did juggle the issues.

By Colby Frazier

cfrazier@cityweekly.net @colbyfrazierlp

1

tah’s band of lawmakers entered the capital city in January prepared to take on the big issues of the day— health-care coverage for low-income Utahns, LGBT discrimination, religious liberty, criminal justice reform and the titillating thought of hiking some taxes.

In addition to these headline-grabbing issues, hundreds of other new laws filled the cracks. And in the midst of the 45-day session, as if the volume of controversy wasn’t turned up high enough, Republican Sen. Mark Madsen, R-Saratoga Springs, introduced the state’s first-ever medical-marijuana bill, which fell but a single vote shy of advancing to the House.

But the marquee job that weighed heaviest on the minds of politicians as they entered the session was deciding what to do about the roughly 126,000 Utahns who could be receiving health insurance coverage but aren’t because the Beehive State has dragged its feet implementing an insurance program.

Robust rhetoric from Gov. Gary Herbert, who had spent a large portion of his time since the 2014 Legislature adjourned working on a health-care plan, said that taking no action on health care was not an option. House and Senate leadership echoed the governor’s words.

But, alas, after much hand wringing, finger pointing, name calling and some political protectionism, no action on health-care expansion was exactly what happened.

The two sides, if there are two sides in a Legislature that has but 17 Democrats, simply couldn’t come to an agreement. In closed-door caucus meetings, committee hearings and in news conferences, lawmakers talked a lot about expanding insurance coverage. But the political divide—largely between the Senate, which favored Herbert’s Healthy Utah Plan, and the House, which seemed to favor anything but the governor’s plan—was filled with a murky stew of anti-federal government sentiment that few were willing to dip a toe in.

And so lawmakers concluded their time on the hill, having raised the gas tax by 5 cents per gallon, doling out $500 million in surplus tax revenues to schools and giving The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the religious liberty protections it asked for in exchange for supporting basic human rights for the LGBT community. They aso waded into the era of modern law enforcement, where the well-trodden path of warehousing drug addicted and mentally ill humans could be replaced with rehabilitation programs.

These lawmakers won’t be away from the hill for long. On March 12, the final day of the session, Herbert held a news conference and announced that, indeed, nothing would be done on health-care reform. But he set a July 31 deadline for a deal, and vowed to call a special session of the Legislature to hammer out the details once and for all.

For the uninsured sick and dying Utahns who listened to Herbert promise in 2014 to take action on healthcare reform, threaten to convene a special session, and then kick the deadline to summer, then fall, then by the end of the year and then to the legislative session, and now back to summer, the chance to visit a doctor really is just a big, shiny, moving target that is going to have to wait.

Here are four of the biggest issues lawmakers tossed around during the 2015 session, along with a bunch of other highlights. CW

Eric S. Peterson and Tiffany Frandsen contributed to this story.

Healthy Utah?

For people who just need to go get their cholesterol checked but can’t because they make too much money to be on Medicaid and too little money to buy health insurance or just pay out of pocket, the past few years might have seemed like a dizzying carnival ride of hope and disappointment.

The people operating the ride at the carnival are almost entirely white, male, affluent politicians who might not have any idea what it’s like to rent an apartment, let alone go without their yearly physical.

And so it was during the 2015 Utah legislative session, where the state’s most powerful people dickered over whether to bring back to Zion the hundreds of millions of dollars Utahns pay each year into the Affordable Care Act—but have so far chosen to forfeit the cash.

Gov. Gary Herbert’s Healthy Utah Plan, which would have mirrored full Medicaid expansion by insuring all of the estimated 126,000 Utahns who fall in the so-called coverage gap, seemed like the best bang for Utah’s buck. It would have been put in place for two years, netting nearly $1 billion that Utahns already spend for health-care programs, while costing the state $25 million. At the conclusion of these two years, the state would have had the option to review the plan or just straight-up shoot it dead.

This plan, marshaled through the Legislature by Sen. Brian Shiozawa, R-Cottonwood Heights, was approved by the Senate on a 14-11 vote.

But it hit a big, fat roadblock in the form of Republican House Speaker Greg Hughes, who, for several days, said his brethren and sisters in the House didn’t want to talk about it in public because in private, they had already decided Healthy Utah was dead, dead, dead.

Hughes caved in, kind of, when a rival bill emerged in the House in the form of Rep. Jim Dunnigan’s Utah Cares. This bill, which was approved by a House committee moments after the same committee killed Healthy Utah, would have cost Utahns three times more than Healthy Utah, accepted a fraction of the federal money available and provided insurance coverage to tens of thousands fewer Utahns.

The arithmetic didn’t really add up, and neither the Senate nor Herbert seemed pleased. All of this amounts to an impasse, which, at this moment, is squarely where Utah stands.

On the final day of the session, the House and Senate both signed off on House Joint Resolution 12, which says that everyone needs to come together and reach a solution to this sticky problem, and it set a deadline of July 31 to do it. On paper, then, it is perhaps not entirely accurate to say that the Legislature did nothing. They did something on health care, but no one is sure yet what it is.

2

Criminal Justice Reform

Utah lawmakers have a hard time masking their disdain for President Barack Obama, Washington, D.C.; progressive politics and spending money; even when they know that spending a little money now could save a lot later.

But, so far, 2015 has proven to be an abnormal year. A good barometer to back this contention up is House Bill 348, which allocated $15 million to pay for substance-abuse and mental-health treatment programs as an alternative to the rampant incarceration of addicts and the mentally ill in Utah’s prisons.

The common-sense factor on this bill seemed to resonate with both chambers of the Legislature, which overwhelmingly approved the bill.

A chunk of the Legislature’s enthusiasm might well have been tied to the likelihood that the main branch of the Utah State Prison, currently occupying acres of seriously valuable real estate in Draper, appears to be on its way to an as-yet-unknown place where the land is less valuable.

But another impossible-to-ignore fact is that Utah’s population is rapidly growing. And along with this growth will come an increase in the prison’s population. However, by treating the estimated 80 percent of prisoners who suffer from drug addiction and mental illness, and by reducing some drug-related offenses from felonies to misdemeanors, lawmakers estimate that the prison population will grow much more slowly, and that it could help save the state $500 million in human-storage fees down the road.

The cumulative impact these reforms will have on human lives in the years to come is difficult to calculate. It’s safe to say, though, that whatever happens, the Utah Legislature, with only three “no” votes in the House and unanimous support from the Senate, has never been more excited to drop millions of dollars on the state’s most underserved people—its criminals.

Zion Wall

| CITY WEEKLY |

MARCH 19, 2015 | 15

A favorite target for Utahns and non-Utahns alike when it comes to the state’s lampooned liquor laws is the Zion Wall, those partitions that shield the public from the cocktail-concocting process. And with the passing of each year, hopes rise that the Legislature will do as President Ronald Reagan did, and demand that a wall, any wall, be torn down.

This year was not the year. Lawmakers in 2015 did very little about anything having to do with alcohol laws. Perhaps the highest-profile matter regarding booze came from Rep. Curtis Oda, R-Clearfield, who endeavored to clarify the rules regarding the issuance of special permits. The law apparently stemmed from a kerfuffle in 2014 regarding Snowbird Resort and its efforts to obtain a special alcohol permit for its months-long Oktoberfest celebration.

But even this bill foundered and failed to be heard by the Senate.

Rep. Kraig Powell, R-Heber City, started 2014 and 2015 off with his sights set on destroying Zion Walls—or at the very least, making them a little more agreeable for restaurant and bar owners. But in 2014, the effort was torpedoed, at least in part by a strong public statement from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints—an impact that may well have carried over into this year’s effort, which crashed before it ever really got off the ground.

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For seven years, lawmakers have snubbed legislation to offer housing and workplace discrimination protections to LGBT Utahns. That was until the beginning of the 2015 session, when LDS leadership, in a rare public statement, called on lawmakers to pass just such a bill that would also at the same time protect the religious expression of Utah’s faithful—and, as if blasted at point-blank range by Moroni’s trumpet, lawmakers got the message loud and clear.

The end product was Senate Bill 296 which banned discriminating against Utahns simply on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation—except for certain exempted religious organizations and their affiliates (such as Brigham Young University) and parochial schools.

The bill gives employers the ability to regulate what kind of speech goes on in their offices.

And if an employer allows his employees to talk religion or politics in the office, then the employer cannot punish any employee for expressing religious or political beliefs in reasonable and non-disruptive ways. Nor could an employer penalize an employee for political or religious expression outside the office (donating to Planned Parenthood or volunteering for the Eagle Forum for example).

Such expression was protected as long as it didn’t run counter to an employer’s “essential business interest.”

Bill sponsor Sen. Stephen Urquhart, R-St. George, pointed out that the bill, for example, would have likely protected the actions of a Salt Lake City Police officer who made headlines for allegedly being fired for declining to ride his motorcycle in the Utah Pride parade. The officer has said that he had made a reasonable request and found a replacement to cover that detail, and Urquhart said that kind of religious expression under the bill would have protected him from being fired or punished by his superiors.

The bill seemed to accomplish the impossible and moved heaven & earth to bridge some very disparate divides, as evidenced by the jubilant smiles of LGBT activists rubbing shoulders with the likes of LDS Apostle Elder L. Tom Perry at the bill’s signing.

But even with the heft of the LDS Church’s shoulder to the legislative wheel, it was a tough and, at times, emotional process. Rep. Brad Dee, R-Ogden, the bill’s floor sponsor was one of many who urged his colleagues to consider the historic bill as a means of helping to heal the hurt between two often-polarized worlds.

“Please understand I’m not asking you tonight to condone a lifestyle that you don’t believe in,” Dee told his colleagues before the bill’s victorious 65 to 10 vote. “I’m asking you to guarantee their rights, the same rights you and I have today.” (Eric S. Peterson)

In a session full of ambitious bills, perhaps none was more surprising than legislation seeking to allow the growing, dispensing and use of medical marijuana in Utah, pitched by Sen. Mark Madsen, R-Saratoga Springs. While Senate Bill 259 was heralded by Utah families looking for medical alternatives—especially to narcotic painkillers that regularly take hundreds of Utahns lives every year in overdose deaths—Madsen’s bill was a little too far out for his colleagues to pass out of the Senate.

Madsen’s bill would have made Utah the 24th state to legalize cannabis for medical treatments, and it borrowed heavily from the knowledge of other states and the District of Columbia that have already legalized medical marijuana. But the bill also had unique Utah tweaks to it: Treatments couldn’t be rolled up and smoked, but rather could be vaped or eaten in gummi form, for example. Utah’s legislation also would have been the first to require that not only would patients already have to be undergoing treatment for certain conditions such as cancer or chronic pain, they would also have to get their medical weed script approved by a specialist—not just any quack doctor setting himself up to peddle weed as a profitable cure-all.

The bill drew some unique criticism, especially from a Drug Enforcement Administration official who made a strange warning after reflecting on a time he helped clear an illegal marijuana grow in Utah’s wilderness where he was shocked to discover rabbits that had become addicted to eating the crop.

Won’t anyone think of the bunnies? Not the Senate committee at least, as it voted in favor of the bill, if only by a narrow margin. But the real mellow harshing happened on the Senate floor where too many of Madsen’s colleagues felt uneasy about such a dramatically new concept being heard and passed in the final weeks of the session. The bill failed the Senate by a single vote, but such a strong start so late in the session will mean medical cannabis will be a potent contender for passage in the 2016 session. (Eric S. Peterson)

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Yes We Cannabis! … Almost … Sorta

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Just what do those 88 men and 16 women do up on that hill all winter? Here are the bills—failures and successes—that didn’t dominate headlines, but might just give Concurrent Environmental Resolution Regarding Qual ity Boards you heartburn. the Creation of National Amendment: SB 200—Sen.

Monuments: SCR 4—A very official statement from the Legislature, on behalf of all Utahns, that urges Congress to craft a public process for the creation of national monuments, such as the Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument. A provision in this resolution, sponsored

by Sen. Stephen Urquhart, R-St. George, initially stated that the “highest and best” use for large tracts of land in the San Rafael Swell and Cedar Mesa is for livestock grazing and energy development.

However, this language was reined in to state that these endeavors can continue on these lands in-step with recreation and conservation.

Proh i b i t ion on Tattooing of Minors: HB 143—Fifteen years ago, the late LDS Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley gave a popular speech to the Latter-day Saints about the evils of piercings and tattoos. That spirit lived on in this year’s Legislature, if only briefly, when Rep. LaVar Christensen, R-Draper, put forth a law that would have banned the tattooing and piercing of people under the age of 14. Anyone between the ages of 14 and 18 could still get inked and pierced with a note from a parent. It cleared the House on a 54-21 vote, but stalled in the Senate.

Margaret Dayton, R-Orem, is renowned for her efforts to shake up the compositions of various state boards.

This year’s session was no different, and one of the boards Dayton targeted was the state’s Water Quality Board. High on the list of rules for the board was language that Department of required it to have one member who “is Environmental Quality, not connected with industry.” With Amendments: SB 244—On its passage, Dayton’s bill put strict partisan votes, Sen. Margaret a fat black line through Dayton, R-Orem, combined two difthese words. ferent divisions of Utah’s Department of

Environmental Quality. What was once the Division of Radiation and the Division of Solid and Hazardous Waste is now the Division of Waste Management and Radiation Control.

Critics of the merger worry that pending decisions about how to deal with depleted uranium in Utah could be stripped from those familiar with the issue.

Analyses of Colorado River Wa t e r Management Strategies: HJR Infrastructure 25—On the topic of water, there is Funding: SB 281—This bill cresome debate as to whether or not the ates a bank account into which the Colorado River can be everything to everyLegislature will make a $5 million deposit in one. It already is everything to around 40 million 2016—the first step toward paying for billions Southwestern souls. In order to get a better handle of dollars in water projects. Chief among these on the load the river bears, Rep. Joel Briscoe, D-Salt projects are the Lake Powell and Bear River pipelines, Cockfighting: Lake City, put forth this resolution that would have which state leaders insist are necessary to keep the SB 134—After years directed the National Resource Council to conduct a lawns green for the millions of new Utahns expected of bickering over Utah’s soft comprehensive study on the way the Colorado River to arrive here in the next half century or so. Water conlaws pertaining to cockfighting, is managed. The bill met a tough crowd in the form servationists said the bill was little more than an effort the Legislature, with just over two of the House Natural Resources, Agriculture to jump in front of an audit that is expected to show hours remaining in its session, at last and Environment Committee (some like to that state water managers have inflated water-use took action. Anyone caught participatnote that environment comes last in numbers in order to justify construction of these ing in cockfighting will now be slapped Air Quality this list), where it failed badly on pipelines. Sen. Stuart Adams, R-Layton, who with a third-degree felony on their Amendments: SB a 3-11 vote. sponsored the bill, said it was an effort third offense. The bill from Sen. 208—This bill would have to be prepared. (See p. 12 for Gene Davis, D-Salt Lake City, increased the penalties levied more on this bill.) passed the House on a upon polluters and extended the A Utah 41-33 vote. statute of limitations under which polCall for a Balanced luters can be punished. Put forth by Budget Amendment to the Sen. Luz (Robles) Escamilla, D-Salt Lake U.S. Constitution: HJR 7—By narCity, the bill would have, in some cases, row margins (40-30 in the House and Death raised the fine for polluters who vio15-13 in the Senate), Rep. Kraig Powell, Penalty Procedure late Utah’s air-quality regulations R-Heber City, was able to get Utah to ask Amendments: HB 11—2015 was from $25,000 to $45,000. The Congress to convene a convention, at which the year that Utah brought back the firbill died in the Senate on states would presumably demand that the U.S. ing squad. Now, because of the bill from Rep a 12-14 vote.

Constitution be amended to include a provision Paul Ray, R-Clearfield, every single time an inmate requiring that it have a balanced budget. Don’t is killed in any state, Utah will be mentioned as that hold your breath while waiting for this to Wild West place that still shoots its prisoners. Of course, go down. Two-thirds of all states must it will use bullets only if a suitable chemical cocktail isn’t achieve the same notoriety as Utah available to inject into the veins of said prisoner. It’s hard before a convention could take State Air Quality Revisions: to imagine, though, that death-penalty advocates around place.

Domestic Animal: HB 226—The Utah Department the country aren’t frowning, while those opposed to killSB 53—To the relief of cat of Environmental Quality has said in ing prisoners are secretly smiling. Utah’s use of the firing lovers across the Beehive State, an the past that one barrier it faces in fightsquad does much more to ignite the flames of debate effort to crown the Golden Retriever ing the Wasatch Front’s lung-clogging air is about whether state-sponsored killing should be allowed the state’s official domestic house anithat it can’t enact regulations more stringent than it does for humanely killing bad guys. And, as mal, failed on the final day of the session. than those required by the federal government. evidenced in the narrow votes in both the House The House voted 27-43, dashing the hopes In 2014, an effort to change this failed. And in 2015, and Senate, many lawmakers understand that of a fourth-grade class that had petitioned it might have failed had the words “more stringent” Utah looks oh-so-stupid in the eyes of Sen. Aaron Osmond, R-South Jordan, for not been replaced by “different.” Now, Utah will the world for resuscitating this the bill, along with dog lovers everywhere. be able to enact air-quality laws that are “difavenue to death.

Had things gone differently, the Golden ferent” from those required by the federal Retriever would have taken a place government. Time will tell where this leads, right in between Utah’s cooking pot, but on the surface, the law represents the Dutch oven, and its state a small victory for air-quality symbol, the beehive. advocates.

Most Prolific 2015 Legislators

by Party Sen. Karen Mayne, D-West Valley City: 9 out of 12 pieces of legislation passed; 75 percent success rate

Sen. Curtis Bramble, R-Provo: 28 out of 32 pieces of legislation passed; 88 percent success rate

Public Lands

Total Percentage of Republican Bills Passed: 92 percent

MARCH 19, 2015 | 17

Total Percentage of Democrat Bills Passed: 8 percent

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Total Bills Passed by Republicans: 487

Total Bills Passed by Democrats: 41

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Total Bills Passed: 528

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Rare is a day that passes during the legislative session when Rep. Mike Noel, R-Kanab, misses a chance to take a jab at the federal government and the job it does managing around 31 million acres of public land in the Beehive State.

Noel commands a large stage as a member of the House Natural Resources, Agriculture and Environment Committee, where he trumpets the charge to seize large swathes of the public’s land in Utah.

But when a couple-hundred people showed up on March 5 in the Capitol Rotunda to urge lawmakers to give up their costly efforts, Noel wanted that stage, too.

During much of the hour-anda-half-long rally, called The Great Public Lands Gamble, Noel stood at the front row, appearing to listen intently as speaker after speaker declared his or her love for Utah’s natural treasures, and the need to protect them. When the rally’s lone musical act, The Slick Rock Stranger, strummed a version of Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land,” Noel sang along.

But when the last speaker had spoken, Noel marched up the steps and asked for the microphone. He uttered only a few sentences, saying he represented much of the land in question, and that he felt the speakers were spewing “misinformation.” The crowd booed, the microphone cut out, or was cut off, and Noel made his way into the crowd, where he met his foes face to face.

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ESSENTIALS

the

SATURDAY 3.21

Utah Symphony: Prokofiev’s Peter & the Wolf Live!

This week, the Utah Symphony performs Sergei Prokofiev’s Peter & the Wolf suite with an accompanying 2007 Oscar-winning animated film (pictured) as part of the Family Series. The clever, playful—and slightly dark—film illustrates the story of Peter, a genuinely tenderhearted kid, and his interactions with the outside world, including his animal friends and a not-sofriendly wolf.

Each character in the story is represented by its own instrument. Peter’s friend, the duck, for example, is an appropriately nasal melody on the oboe; Peter is an unassuming, jaunty tune played by the string section; the wolf is an ominous brass-section theme. A good story told through musical motifs and instrumentation make it a relatively easy entry into symphonic music, as it makes the storyline easy to follow—of course, the accompanying film makes it even easier. It also helps train the concertgoer’s ear to hear the difference between some of the more similarsounding instruments, like the clarinet and oboe (or, as in the suite, cat and duck).

The concert is only an hour long, so it’s good for youngsters who aren’t regularly exposed to art music. But the story is about a boy and a wolf—a carnivorous beast whose instincts are to follow the food chain. Throw in some bully hunters, and there might be a few scary elements for the younger kids.

Also on the bill are “Three Fun Fables,” which are witty interpretations of Aesop’s tales arranged by Daniel Dorff and narrated by Jim Christian. Guest Emmanuel Fratianni conducts.

(Tiffany Frandsen) Utah Symphony: Prokofiev’s Peter & the Wolf Live! @ Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, March 21, 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m., $6-$18. UtahSymphony.org

MONDAY 3.23

Utah Shakespeare Festival: Macbeth Every year, when the cast and crew are not busy entertaining audiences in Cedar City, The Utah Shakespeare Festival takes one of its shows out on the road to schools and community centers around the region. For 2015, the traveling players will spend more than three months plying their theatrical trade to more than 25,000 students throughout five Western states. Salt Lake City, though, will have the opportunity to host an additional performance open to the general public.

What’s on tap during this education outreach program is a condensed 75-minute version of William Shakespeare’s classic tragedy Macbeth, complete with elaborate costumes, detailed sets and full rigging. When a trio of witches mysteriously predict Macbeth will be the future king of Scotland, his wife encourages Macbeth to murder the current king and takes the throne for himself.

To hold on to his power, he plows a path of tyranny and brutality through his country. Considered to be the darkest of Shakespeare’s tragedies, Macbeth explores the mad treachery embedded in the bloody heart of political strategies, when power is at stake and evil is the most effective tool available.

After the performance, cast and crew members will participate in a discussion to provide a behind-the-scenes look into the world of professional theater, as well as small workshops where attendees can learn the craft of stage fighting, how to better read (or even speak) Shakespeare’s words, and how to build a character through the art of improvisation. (Jacob Stringer) Utah Shakespeare Festival: Macbeth @ Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-8655100, March 23, 7 p.m., free. www.CulturalCelebration.org

Entertainment Picks MARCH 19-25

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TUESDAY 3.24

TUESDAY 3.24

Best known as a best-selling author of youngadult novels such as Before I Fall and the Delirium trilogy, Lauren Oliver visits Utah this week with her new book, Vanishing Girls. Oliver’s latest psychological thriller is based on the complex relationship between two estranged sisters, Nick and Dara, whose contrasting personalities are as strong as the friendship they once shared.

A rift occurs between the teen daughters of recently divorced parents following a car accident that leaves the face of beautiful, free-spirited Dara permanently scarred and “good girl” Nick’s former sense of self lost. A mystery surrounding the sudden disappearance of one of the sisters skillfully unfolds, as past and present events are revealed through the narrative voices of Nick and Dara, alternately.

Oliver’s edgy, contemporary style shines once again with relatable characters and a cleverly executed plot, delivered in such a manner that makes it hard to stop turning pages. Diary entries and newspaper articles sprinkled throughout the text add charm to her storytelling. Themes about coming of age, family dynamics and sibling rivalry are interwoven into this suspenseful read. Oliver’s body of award-winning literary work also includes adult novels (Rooms) and middle-grade fiction (Liesl & Po). But, whether the target audience is young adults, tweens or adults, readers of all ages can appreciate the quality of Oliver’s work.

(Deann Armes) Lauren Oliver: Vanishing Girls @ The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, March 24, 7 p.m., free, KingsEnglish.com

The Chinese government cracked down on followers of the Falun Gong spiritual movement in the late 1990s, but members of the group living in New York City started the Shen Yun Performing Arts company in 2006. “Shen Yun” is translated as “the beauty of divine beings dancing,” and the group intends nothing less than the revival of “the essence of 5,000 years of Chinese culture,” which it believes has been decimated by the Chinese government and its repression.

China has blocked access to and even mention of Shen Yun on the Internet there, and the group has yet to perform in mainland China or Hong Kong, but the troupe regularly travels to more than 130 sites spanning much of the rest of the globe. Chinese culture and history is evoked through song and dance, costume and spectacle. The storytelling combines spiritual realms, centuries-old legends and modern heroism with classically trained dancers and musicians against vibrant animated backdrops of landscapes ranging from soaring mountains to placid beaches and villages, and from majestic palaces to verdant ponds and valleys—to create a spellbinding performance.

Shen Yun makes no secret of its political and cultural agenda, but its vibrant performance is something audiences can relate to—especially the value of artistic expression, and the freedom to criticize oppressive governments. The Shen Yun performance is a metaphor for a graceful, positive way of living in the world. (Brian Staker) Shen Yun @ Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, March 24-25, 7:30 p.m. $50-$150. ShenYunPerformingArts.org

Lauren Oliver: Vanishing Girls

Shen Yun

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A&E Oscars & Heroes Comic-book blockbusters don’t get awards—and maybe that’s just fine.

By Bryan Young comments@cityweekly.net @swankmotron

N

ow that awards season is over, we can look at the major awards earned by superhero movies and ask, “Why aren’t there any?”

The most obvious answer is that comicbook films aren’t taken seriously because they’re just that—comic-book films. As a genre, a lot of superhero movies are just bad. They don’t transcend their medium in any way, and they don’t add anything to their original stories, either. These are your Green Lanterns, your X-Men: The Last Stands, and your Amazing Spider-Man 2s.

Of course, these films aren’t going to win any awards because they’re not very good.

Aspects of each might be passable, but there’s nothing out of the ordinary about them, let alone extraordinary.

You might want to point to Heath Ledger’s posthumous Academy Award win for his portrayal of The Joker in Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight as proof that comic-book movies can be recognized and taken seriously when a particular performance or film deserves it, but there’s no way that Ledger’s performance is the only one worthy of recognition in a superhero film.

Look at 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier. The film blends the very best of 1970s paranoia thrillers and superhero films in a way that is emotional and satisfying to audiences of all stripes. The story was well told on a technical level. You could stand the Captain America sequel next to All the President’s Men or The Conversation, and it would rate a comparison.

Another example would be Guardians of the Galaxy. It was a goofy story, sure, with bizarre characters and an odd sense of humor, but it was well-crafted, as it stitched together the sensibilities of an adventure movie such as Star Wars with the storytelling flourishes one expects from comic books. Guardians was an illuminating film that, despite its quirkiness, spoke to people about the inner lives we lead, thanks to a heroic team of loners and misfits coming together.

After the joke-writers at the Academy Awards this year took a few potshots at the expense of these movies, Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn took to Facebook to say,

big SHINY ROBOT

“If you think people who make superhero movies are dumb, come out and say we’re dumb. But if you, as an independent filmmaker or a ‘serious’ filmmaker, think you put more love into your characters than the Russo Brothers do Captain America, or Joss Whedon does the Hulk, or I do a talking raccoon, you are simply mistaken.”

And I can’t argue with that. At all.

But what about people who are fatigued by superhero movies? An argument could be made that these movies need no artistic recognition because, 1. They’re already recognized in terms of box-office receipts, and 2. No number of awards can encourage the studios to pay more attention to superhero films. There is no shortage of these movies. In fact, there is no end in sight for them.

And perhaps that’s the most compelling reason for ignoring comic-book movies at awards shows: They don’t need awards.

While it would be nice to recognize the love and craftsmanship that goes into making them, they’re going to march on regardless.

It would be great if our favorite superhero movies got the recognition they deserved from the circles of critics and bodies like the academy, but we’re giving them all the ticket-buying recognition they need to keep going, and that’s all that matters. I’d rather the academy give people like Alfonso Cuarón and Alejandro Iñárritu awards if that’s the recognition they need to be able to keep making smaller, brilliant films.

Maybe it’s better not to award superhero movies at all. Otherwise, studios would have less than zero incentive to bankroll movies like Birdman or The Artist or No Country For Old Men. With the way things are now, we get the best of both worlds.

So perhaps it’s best if your favorite superhero loses this battle for now. CW Br yan Young is the editor-in-chief of BigShinyRobot.com.

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TUESDAY 3.24

Sister Helen Prejean In the early 1980s, Sister Helen Prejean of the Congregation of the Sisters of St. Joseph began corresponding with—and serving as spiritual adviser to—death-row convicts in the Louisiana State Penitentiary. Her interactions with two men who were executed in 1984—Elmo Patrick Sonnier and Robert Lee Willie—inspired her 1993 memoir Dead Man Walking, which in turn inspired the 1995 film of the same name, for which Susan Sarandon won an Academy Award for her portrayal of Sister Helen.

Twenty years later, Sister Helen Prejean is still a vocal activist for the abolition of capital punishment in the 32 U.S. states where it is still legal (including Utah, where the firing squad was recently reinstituted as a method for the death penalty). In addition to counseling death-row inmates and working with victims’ families, she speaks to audiences throughout the country. This week, join her for a conversation and book-signing at Westminster College. (Scott Renshaw) Sister Helen Prejean @ Behnken Field House, 1840 S. 1300 East, Westminster College, March 24, 7 p.m., free. WestminsterCollege.edu

Thursday 3.19 Performing Arts Fiddler on the Roof, Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, 435-649-9371 The Appeal, Good Company Theatre, 260 25th Street, Ogden The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-957-3322 Fiddler on the Roof, The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden

Literary Arts

Adam W. Dean: An Agrarian Republic, The King’s English Bookshop 1511 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-484-9100

Friday 3.20 Performing Arts

Dr. Adam Kossler in Concert, All-Saints Episcopal Church, 1710 Foothill Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-581-0380

Cosí Fan Tutte, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City Red vs. Blue, ComedySportz Provo, 36 W. Center St., Provo, 801-377-9700 Hairspray, Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Draper, 801-572-4144 Fiddler on the Roof, Egyptian Theatre The Appeal, Good Company Theatre The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre The Mikado, Heritage Theatre, 2505 S. Highway 89, Perry, 435-723-8392 Great American Tall Tales, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, University of Utah, Salt Lake City, 801-581-7100 Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theater, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-355-4628 Laughing Stock, Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-355-4628 I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City, 801-581-6961 Off the Wall Improv, The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-944-2787

moreESSENTIALS Shawn Paulsen, Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Ogden, 801-622-5588 Natasha Leggero, Wiseguys West Valley City, 2194 W. 3500 South, West Valley City, 801-463-2909

Literary Arts

Susan Adian: Tunnel Vision, The King’s English Bookshop 1511 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City, 801484-9100

Saturday 3.21 Performing Arts

Sunday 3.22 Performing Arts

Performing Arts

Shen Yun Performing Arts, Capitol Theatre The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre Man From Magdalena, Rose Wagner Center Open Mic, Wiseguys West Valley City

Literary Arts

Lit Knit, Weller Book Works, 665 E. 600 South, Salt Lake City, 801-328-2586

Visual Arts New Thursday 3.19

Kevin Marcoux, City & County Building, 451 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-535-6333 Bonnie Susec & Susan Beck, Kimball Art Center, 638 Park Ave., Park City, 435-648-8882

New Friday 3.20 What’s My Name, UAF Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, Salt Lake City, (801) 322-2428 Collective Experience, Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St. (455 West), Salt Lake City, 801-2457272 Paintings by Anastasia Dukhanina, Antonin Passemard & Mark Slusser, Slusser Gallery, 447 E. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-532-1956

Continuing 3.19-25 Other Places, Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, Salt Lake City, through May 8 Don Thorpe, Anderson Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, Salt Lake City, 801-594-8611, through March 28 David Wolske, Finch Lane & Park Galleries, 1340 E. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-596-5000, through April 17 Human Landscapes, Finch Lane & Park Galleries, 1340 E. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 801596-5000, through April 17 No Fixed Address, The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City, 801-531-9800, through May 15

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Monday 3.23 Performing Arts

Hairspray, Draper Historic Theatre The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre The Mikado, Heritage Theatre Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theater I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre

Shen Yun Performing Arts, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 1-888-633-6999 The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre Man From Magdalena, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway, Salt Lake City, 801-355-2787 Book Collector’s Evening, Alta Club, 100 E. South Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-581-3421 Lauren Oliver: Vanishing Girls, The King’s English Bookshop 1511 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-484-9100

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Tuesday 3.24 Performing Arts

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Cosí Fan Tutte, Capitol Theatre Fiddler on the Roof, Egyptian Theatre The Appeal, Good Company Theatre The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre Ashley Anderson Dances, Memorial House, Memory Grove Park, 300 N. East Capitol Blvd., Salt Lake City I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre Fiddler on the Roof, The Ziegfeld Theater

Wednesday 3.25

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Prokofiev’s Peter & the Wolf Live!, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Salt Lake City, 801355-2787 Red vs. Blue, ComedySportz Provo Hairspray, Draper Historic Theatre Fiddler on the Roof, Egyptian Theatre The Appeal, Good Company Theatre The Skin of Our Teeth, Grand Theatre The Mikado, Heritage Theatre Great American Tall Tales, Kingsbury Hall Fire and Ice!, Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, University of Utah, Salt Lake City, 801-531-7501 Indianapolis Jones, Off Broadway Theater Laughing Stock, Off Broadway Theatre I Hate Hamlet, Pioneer Memorial Theatre Babylon’13 “Stronger than Arms,” Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, Salt Lake City, 801-232-9845 Fiddler on the Roof, The Ziegfeld Theater Shawn Paulsen, Wiseguys Ogden Natasha Leggero, Wiseguys West Valley City

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

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Cheese

RIVERHORSE ON MAIN

CAVE #2 The Main Now Open!

DINE

Attraction Riverhorse on Main gets a long-awaited overhaul.

By Ted Scheffler comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

Happy Spelunking

Caputo’s Downtown 314 West 300 South 801.531.8669 Caputo’s On 15th 1516 South 1500 East 801.486.6615 Caputo’s Holladay 4670 S. 2300 E. 801.272.0821 Caputo’s U of U 215 S. Central Campus Drive 801.583.8801

caputosdeli.com

TED SCHEFFLER

W

riters often use the word “venerable” to hedge their bets. Most often, when I see the phrase “venerable institution,” I think of a place that’s dated and irrelevant, but still standing—like most of Congress.

To be honest, that’s how I would have described Riverhorse on Main a few years ago: It has weathered the years and culinary fashions but had become dated and hardly relevant. It wasn’t even on my Top 10 list of best restaurants on Park City’s Main Street. So no one was more surprised than I to discover that not only is Riverhorse on Main relevant again, but it’s offering up some of the best fare in Park City, a town with more excellent restaurants than you can shake a spatula at.

Long before all those other awardwinning Park City restaurants, there was the Riverhorse, which opened on New Year’s Eve in 1987. In 1995, it became the first Utah restaurant to receive the prestigious DiRoNA Award, and in 2000, became the Beehive State’s first establishment to be awarded the Mobil Travel Guide Four-Star Rating as one of the top restaurants in North America.

Many other accolades followed, including AAA Four-Diamond Awards and numerous recognitions of distinction by Wine Spectator.

Still, by the turn of the millennium, I, along with many other food and wine lovers, had lost interest. The Riverhorse just seemed tired, from the décor and service to the cuisine. Enter Seth Adams, who was hired as executive chef in 2004. The food got better; then, in 2011, Adams purchased Riverhorse on Main with a partner and began to make it his own.

When I visited recently, the décor and ambience had undergone such a thorough transformation that I hardly recognized the place. Beautiful wood floors and exposed brick blend with metal and stone, along with crisp, white tablecloths and cerulean banquets. There’s a snazzy bar area, and the menu itself, bound in what looks and feels like hemp, is beautiful. This ain’t your daddy’s Riverhorse.

You’re in good hands with a professional server like Michael Freyvogel, formerly of The Metropolitan, who will start you off with tempting libations and an amuse-bouche from Chef Adams. The Riverhorse has an enviable wine list, as well as a collection of craft cocktails and such. Wanting to start out with something light, we ordered the

Ahi Tuna Duo appetizer ($15), which was anything but appetizer-size. It was a generous plate, divided in half, with sliced sashimi-grade tuna raw on one side, and minced poke-style tuna tartare on the other, served with shredded green papaya, yuzu and crispy fried wonton wedges, and sprinkled with black & white sesame seeds. It’s a superb starter.

Just as great—for those who would lean toward a richer opener—is a decadent appetizer of housemade oxtail ravioli ($17) served with slices of crisp duck breast and bathed in a creamy foie gras emulsion with toasted baguette slices for soaking up that heavenly sauce. It’s a dish so delicious it took days for me to get it out of my head. We sipped Michael Thomas Sancerre 2012 ($56 per bottle), from the Loire Valley in France— just one of many options on a top-notch wine list that ranges from wines by the glass for $10 to a double magnum of BV Georges de Latour Cabernet Sauvignon 2007 for $895.

I don’t often get excited by salad, but the poached pear & burrata salad at Riverhorse on Main is outstanding. It’s a tender poached Anjou pear on microgreens with a dollop of silky burrata cheese, strewn with stuffed dates and dark figs, and drizzled with local honey and barrel-aged balsamic ($13.50). Throughout the evening, diners were treated to live music by talented singer-guitarist Matt Frey; The Riverhorse frequently features entertainment from Frey and other local musicians including Joy & Eric, Jeff Proctor and Mister Sister.

For as long as I can recall, The Riverhorse’s signature dish has been macadamia-nutcrusted Alaskan halibut ($38.50), and it’s not surprising that it’s very, very good. However, we decided to branch out and try the Utah red trout ($36)—and I’m glad we did. Tender, flaky trout fillets rest on a bed of black “forbidden” rice with orange and yellow roasted carrots and arugula, garnished with edible flowers and pomegranate-fennel “salsa.”

It’s as tasty as it is colorful.

The Utah red trout at Riverhorse on Main is served on a bed of black “forbidden” rice.

You don’t see veal chops on many menus anymore, and I’m always drawn to them when I do. Usually, though, I wind up disappointed by overcooked, dry chops. Not so at The Riverhorse, where Chef Adams knows what to do with a gorgeous, bonein veal chop ($40). Mine was grilled perfectly to medium temperature—so tender I hardly needed teeth to chew it. It came with housemade mushroom pirogies, shallotbacon jam and shoestring fried spuds, and it was sauced with roasted garlic-tomato sofrito. It was a sensational dish, right down to the pirogi. It turns out that Adams, who hails originally from Pennsylvania, learned from his grandmother how to make them. In my opinion, they deserve to be a dish of their own: maybe “Grandma’s pirogi in brown butter”?

Stuffed to the gills, but enjoying ourselves, we decided to indulge in the Dutch apple cake ($13). It’s irresistible, served in a cast-iron pot with vanilla ice cream, hot caramelized butterscotch and pecans. The perfect finishing touch to a fine Riverhorse on Main meal—especially since we weren’t driving—was River Horse Coffee ($13), a sensuous blend of coffee, Godiva liqueur, Kahlua, Cognac and Benedictine.

With Riverhorse on Main firing on all cylinders under owner/chef Seth Adams, who knows? It might just be around for another three decades, creating meaningful dining experiences. CW

Riverhorse on Main

540 Main Park City 435-649-3536 RiverhorseParkCity.com

NIN T H & NIN TH & 2 54 SOUTH M AI N

FOOD MATTERS

by TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

2014

Current Cuisine

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Explore EATING WELL in Utah

On Sunday, March 29, with reservations available from 5-8:30 p.m., Fratelli Ristorante (9236 Village Shop Drive, Sandy, 801-495-4550, FratelliUtah.com) will host a wine-pairing evening featuring Utah’s own IG Winery (IGWinery.com).

Located in Cedar City at the Iron Gate Inn, IG Winery produces wines that run the gamut from Riesling and Chardonnay to Tempranillo and late-harvest Zinfandel.

On hand at Fratelli will be IG owner/ winemaker Doug McCombs and winery manager Tony Dinges to provide information and answer queries about their wines. The five-course dinner is $40 for food, plus $35 for optional wine pairings.

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Pasta for the People since 1968

Looking for a nice new place to nosh?

Current Fish & Oyster restaurant (279 E. 300 South, 801-326-3474, CurrentFishandOyster.com) is now open in the revamped space that previously housed Salt Lake Antiques. It’s a collaboration between restaurateurs Mikel Trapp (Fresco, Trio, Luna Blanca Taqueria) and Joel LaSalle (Oasis Cafe, Carvers Steaks & Seafood, Faustina, Kyoto), who have turned the enormous space into a beautiful contemporary eatery; the high, arched ceilings made from wooden barrels are enough to bowl you over. At the helm in the Current kitchen is Chef Logen Crew, formerly of Log Haven and Fresco Italian Cafe, whose menu ranges from fresh East and West Coast oysters and steamed manila clams with chorizo, to whole branzino, Gulf prawns with whitecheddar grits, oven-roasted chicken and New York steak. I had the opportunity to taste a number of Current’s dishes during pre-opening preview dinners and was impressed. The branzino, in particular, was outstanding, and grilled lobster tail with miso-citrus sauce was to die for.

Stay tuned for a full review.

every season.

VISIT devourutah.com

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Quote of the week: One man’s fish is another man’s poisson.

—Carolyn Wells Food Matters 411: teds@xmission.com

MARCH 19, 2015 | 25

Utah’s new food publication devoted to local food for

As part of the monthly Libations at the Leo series (The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, 801-531-9800, TheLeonardo.org), on Thursday, April 2, Chef Zanetta Jones will teach attendees 21 and over to cook entire meals in a muffin tin, including appetizers, entrees and desserts paired with wines selected by Jim Santangelo of the Wine Academy of Utah. The cost for the class is $55, and includes food and wine pairings.

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BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Not Quite 50 Shades Sipping “gray” wines: Pinot Gris.

By Ted Scheffler comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

W

ith the warm temperatures and sunny days we’ve been enjoying lately, my thoughts and taste buds are turning earlier than normal to spring and summer picnic wines. And in a pinch, one of my favorites is a most reliable and very versatile wine: Pinot Gris—a white wine tinged with shades of gray (although not 50 of them).

Pinot Gris (aka Pinot Grigio in Italy) is named for the bluish-gray hue (“gris”) of the Pinot Gris grape, which is a white variant-clone of Pinot Noir. It’s also called Grauburgunder in Germany, and Ruländer when the wine is made in a rich, full-bodied, fragrant style. Just to confuse things a bit more, in Alsace where appreciation of Pinot Gris reaches cult status, it’s called

Tokay d’Alsace, and has no relation whatsoever to Hungarian Tokay.

Although there is some brilliant Pinot Grigio coming out of Italy’s Friuli region— especially Livio Felluga’s intense DOC Colli Orientali del Friuli—a lot of Italian Pinot Grigio is innocuous, insipid and undistinguished. Most of the really good stuff comes from Alsace and, increasingly, Oregon. Like its big, more popular brother, Riesling, Pinot Gris is a versatile and usually inexpensive wine that pairs very well with a wide range of foods. The best American Pinot Gris will cost about one-third the price of decent Chardonnay or Pinot Noir, and plays especially well with grilled salmon.

Typically, Pinot Gris has a slightly smoky characteristic, and tastes like ripe pears with some light lemon-citrus flavors. It’s dry enough to pair nicely with shellfish— oysters, crab, shrimp and such—but also works really well with Asian-fusion dishes and items from the sushi bar. And, when American producers go easy on the oak, Pinot Gris from Oregon and Washington tends to be much more food-friendly than most New World Chardonnay.

Keep in mind, though, that as with most grape varietals, Pinot Gris and Pinot Grigio come in a variety of styles, ranging from bone-dry and crisp to slightly sweet, and from being lighter than air in body to

DRINK full and rich enough to eat with meat. Indeed, Pinot Gris is the classic wine pairing for choucroute in Alsace, which is where I first fell in love with Pinot Gris, in Strasbourg.

W i nema ker s in Oregon’s Willamette Valley, in particular, are producing exceptional Pinot Gris. And, while they’re not all from Willamette—or Oregon, for that matter—some of your best Pinot Gris bets from Utah wine stores include producers like Eyrie, Adelsheim, A to Z, Ponzi, King Estate, Elk Cove, Etude and Seghesio.

Pinot is pretty easy on the budget, too.

Wines from the aforementioned makers range from about $16 to $25. I was recently bowled over by a Cline Cellars Pinot Gris, priced at a mere $10.95. It’s unoaked, bright and crisp with tangerine notes, and it paired beautifully with a butter-lettuce salad with grilled shrimp, crab, avocado and beurre blanc.

With Alsatian Pinot Gris—where the terroir consists largely of limestone and volcanic soils—you can taste the mineral-

ity in the glass. And, while a 375 ml split of Domaine Weinbach Altenbourg Pinot Gris Quintessence de Grains Nobles dessert nectar will run you around $260, you can find quite affordable Alsatian Pinot Gris for $15 to $30 from reliable producers such as Schlumberger, Weinbach, Zind-Humbrecht, Hugel, Trimbach and Helfrich. Willm Pinot Gris Reserve ($15.99) is a good introduction to the gray grape. Peach, pear and apricot aromas tease the senses, while modestly sweet honey flavors on the palate are balanced by good acidity. CW

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Award Winning BBQ

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom & pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves!

Piehole

1844 E. Fort Union Blvd Cottonwood Heights, UT 801-938-9706 | HDBBQ.NET

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Lord knows why it took so long for someone to realize what the proprietors of the Piehole pizza place did— if you stay open late downtown, you have a chance to thrive. The Piehole is open until 2 a.m. Sunday through Thursday, and until 3 a.m. on weekends, meaning there is a hot slice of tasty pizza waiting for folks shutting down the downtown bars. They’re also there to serve 9-to-5 worker bees and to deliver throughout downtown, the Avenues and on Capitol 951worth it: Besides Hill. Delving into a Piehole pie .is1well ESTPiehole the traditional toppings, the has some specialty toppings such as mango, Thai peanut sauce, brown-sugar-roasted jalapeños and chorizo that will expand your pizza palate. Inexpensive beer, salads, Buffalo wings and breadsticks round out the menu.

344 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-359-4653, PieholeUtah.com

Das ist gut en s s e t lica nt e D n a a Germ Restaur &

DRIVE-IN

Tree Room

Kick off dinner with an appetizer of crispy pork belly, cheddar grits and quail egg; a seasonal soup; or one of three specialty salads. A main course of Wagyu hangar steak is seared perfectly to medium-rare (or as ordered). The steak is sliced into thin, juicy medallions and served with a rich, velvety Cabernet Sauvignon reduction and roasted baby potatoes, and topped with a green herb “salad.” After you eat, make time to wander the Tree Room, taking in Robert Redford’s celebrated collection of American Indian and Western art, and enjoy a walk around the grounds. 8841 N. Alpine Loop Road, Sundance, 866-627-8313, SundanceResort.com/Restaurants-en.html

Stockton Miners Cafe

Located seven miles southwest of Tooele in the town of Stockton, this newly remodeled cafe has a smalltown vibe, with mining helmets and tools decorating the walls. Enjoy your bacon and French toast at the original bar in the middle of the room, or in one of the more intimate surrounding booths. Try the housemade scones with honey-butter, a terrific burger or ice cream made right on the spot. 47 Conner Ave., Stockton, 435-882-4418, StocktonMinersCafe.com

Boulevard Bistro

A blend of upscale and casual dining, Boulevard Bistro is a great place to take a date or enjoy a meal with friends. You’ll find a blend of American, Italian and French cuisine for breakfast, lunch and dinner at this hip, modern eatery. During the summer, enjoy your meal on the patio, and start off with an appetizer such as the trio of Mediterranean dips served with rye toast points. The pan-seared red trout and the clam linguini are excellent entree options, but make sure to save room for some gelato. 1414 S. Foothill Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-953-1270, BoulevardBistroFoothill.com

Catering Catering Available available

Open Mon-Wed: 9am-6pm Thu-Sat: 9am-9pm

20 W. 200 S. s (801) 355-3891

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net Martine

Martine, situated in an old, beautiful brownstone building in downtown Salt Lake City, has been pleasing customers with its world cuisine since 1999. Owner Scott Hale and Chef Tom Grant serve an eclectic array of tapas and other dishes. Grant’s menu is influenced by his love and knowledge of Mediterranean, Spanish and North African cuisines and features dishes such as mustard-crusted elk rack with potato & apple goat-cheese tart and huckleberry jus, grilled Scottish salmon, pan-roasted chicken breast and ricotta gnocchi. Dining in the classy but casual Martine can range from a glass of wine and tapas to a full multicourse extravaganza. A very fairly priced wine list just adds to the appeal. 22 E. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-363-9328, MartineCafe.com

Powder

Finn’s CafÊ

This new restaurant, headed up by award-winning Chef Briar Handly, organizes its menu by the headings Cold, Hot, Hearty and Sweet, and uses fresh local ingredients. That dependence on seasonal foods means that the menu often changes, with options ranging from shishito peppers to a classic chocolate-fudge sundae, you’re sure to find a winning option, no matter the time of year. 136 Heber Ave., Park City, 435-602-1155, HandleParkCity.com

La Dolce Vita

La Dolce Vita Ristorante Italiano has been family-owned & operated since 1984, bringing authentic dishes of Napoli (Naples), Italy, to Provo. The restaurant offers a great selection of food and drink for the entire family. Start dinner with mozzarella caprese or fried calamari, then enjoy signature entrees and pastas such as orange roughy with tortellini, fettuccine Alfredo (some say it’s the best in Utah County), cannelloni, manicotti, housemade gnocchi and rigatoni with ragout. The nice wine list rounds out the offerings at La Dolce Vita. 61 N. 100 East, Provo, 801-373-8482, LaDolceVitaProvo.com

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|145 E. 1300 S. Ste. 409 | (801) 364-1376 |

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The name Finn has been a mainstay of the Utah dining scene since the original Finn’s opened in 1952 at the top of Parley’s Way. Today, Finn Jr. and his wife, Vickey,

Handle

/ORTH .AIN 4T Č„ -AYTON Č„

| cityweekly.net |

Located in the gorgeous Park City Waldorf Hotel, Powder is a fine-dining restaurant that’s simultaneously elegant and devoid of stuffiness. Come as you are, and enjoy contemporary American cuisine that spotlights the French cooking techniques utilized by Executive Chef Ryker Brown. And with Powder’s top-notch service and beautiful dÊcor, your dining experience will be memorable as well as delicious. Start off with sweet-potato bisque, roasted beets or baby-kale salad.

For the main event, try the seared branzino with white beans, grapefruit butter sauce and pancetta, or the wild-mushroom pasta with garden herbs, Grana Padano, and black truffles.

2100 Frostwood Drive, Park City, 435-647-5566, ParkCityWaldorfAstoria.com

carry on the Finn’s family tradition at Finn’s CafÊ, where Scandinavian specialties such as Norwegian waffles with lingonberries and sour cream, Jule Kake French toast, poached fish, pyttipanna and the Norsk omelet with bay shrimp, Havarti and capers provide an interesting alternative to the more common array of standard breakfast choices. There’s a nice modern Euro-vibe here, too. If it’s non-breakfast grub you’re after, at lunchtime, the fried chicken and Wiener schnitzel are terrific. Ditto for the Reuben sandwich. 1624 S. 1100 East, Salt Lake City, 801-467-4000, FinnsCafe.net

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OPEN MON-THUR 11AM-9PM FRI-SAT 11AM-10PM SUN 12PM-9PM

REVIEW BITES

A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews Taco Taco

BEER MARGARITAS MOLCAJETE MONDAYS TAC O T U E S D AYS -ALL YOU CAN EAT TACOS

EVERY DAY FRESH!

3956 W. Innovation Drive (13400 S)

WE CATER!

801-565-8818 • salsaleedos.net

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930 ÝÛ:I<<BJ@;<ÛG8K@FJ ÝÛ9<JKÛ9I<8B=8JKÛ Û¬Û ~ ÝÛ ÛP<8IJÛ8E;Û>F@E>ÛJKIFE> ÝÛ;<C@:@FLJÛD@DFJ8JÛ¬Û9CFF;PÛD8IP¿J “In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s”

Tamales Tita

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains”

-CityWeekly

Adjacent to Cannella’s Italian Restaurant, this new eatery is a joint venture by Cannella’s and its longtime chef, Alberto Higuera Calderon. The menu isn’t extensive—about the range of items you’d expect from a taco cart—but it packs a punch. Tuesday is a particularly good day to drop in; that’s when all tacos are $2 each. But I’d enjoy the tacos here any day, especially the chicken mole negro taco, and the excellent zucchini-blossom tacos are a good choice for vegetarians. However, my favorite item is the carne asada burrito.

It’s a large flour tortilla stuffed—and I mean stuffed—with heaping amounts of tender, flavorful, slightly salty morsels of grilled beef along with white rice, corn and black beans. I love the simplicity of the tacos and burritos, all of which can be adorned with a variety of garnishes and sauces from the salsa bar. I’ll go so far as to say it is Salt Lake City’s best burrito. Reviewed March 5. 208 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City, 801-428-2704, TacoTacoSLC.com

Coming Soon

-Cincinnati Enquirer

RUTH’S CREEKSIDE www.ruthscreekside.com

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Breakfast until 4pm, Lunch and Dinner 7 days a week

You might know Tamales Tita from various farmers markets, and now they’ve finally opened their first restaurant, which features not-so-typical Mexican fare. There are no burritos, for example, and the tacos aren’t standard, but rolled tacos dorados. As the name suggests, tamales are the big draw—housemade from scratch, and in a wide assortment of flavors, including chicken, pork, jalapeño & cheese, chicken with mole, bean & cheese and vegan. There’s also a selection of sweet tamales, plus a breakfast tamale with bacon, sausage, egg and cheese. The tamales are about 50

percent larger—with a thicker masa exterior—than what you’re probably used to. So, the enchilada-style tamales feature a generous plate of two tamales of your choice, smothered with verde, rojo or mole sauce and topped with queso fresco, onion, shredded lettuce and sour cream.

Reviewed March 5. 7760 S. 3200 West, West Jordan, 801-282-0722, TamalesTita.com

Copper Kitchen

With its large, airy, open space and high, copper-colored ceilings, the latest venture by Ryan and Colleen Lowder is sort of an American brasserie, with a bustling vibe.

I’d expected Copper Onion 2.0, but the Copper Kitchen menu is far from a photocopy of its predecessor’s. A duo of duck croquettes is simple but exceptional—finger food at its finest. Even better is grilled porkbelly, pressed, grilled and served on a bed of frisee with carrot-ginger vinaigrette and apple-cider reduction. You’ll want to try Copper Kitchen’s chicken: a grilled Mary’s airline chicken breast atop a battered and fried Mary’s boneless thigh, stacked on fingerling potatoes and cubed squash and sauced with a light, tangy mustard vinaigrette. Copper Kitchen now offers lunch service—with menu items like tuna Niçoise, Philly cheesesteak, fried-egg sandwich and pasta dishes—plus, there’s an outstanding weekend brunch including a delicious chicken hash. It looks like the Lowders have another hit on their hands. Reviewed Feb. 26. 4640 S. 2300 East, 385-237-3159, CopperKitchenSLC.com

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REVIEW BITES

A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews Avenues Proper Restaurant & Publick House

Despite its contemporary décor, Avenues Proper somehow manages to feel comfy and cozy—an inviting neighborhood space. The amazing “Prop-corn” appetizer features popcorn tossed in seasoned duck fat with sea salt and fennel pollen, while the “small” side of the menu includes appetizers like a cheese plate and roasted beet salad. Entrees include comfort-food classics like rarebit, fish & chips, burgers and an interesting spin on chicken & waffles: two pieces of chicken sausage (made in-house) and a duo of sunny-side-up eggs atop two toasted waffles with thyme-infused maple syrup on the side. Avenues Proper’s poutine offers deeply flavored braised short-rib beef and dark roasted-chicken gravy smothering homemade pommes frites, garnished with truffled cheddar and minced scallions—and the fries at Avenues Proper are so good that it’s almost tragic to see them soaked in gravy. Of course, there are the craft beers, adding to a terrific spot that’s perfect for proper food, proper drinks and proper service. Reviewed Feb. 19.

376 Eighth Ave., Salt Lake City, 385-227-8628, AvenuesProper.com

Bandits’ American Grill & Bar

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The Goldener Hirsch Inn Restaurant

Classic European staples like fondue and Wiener schnitzel are on the menus, and probably always will be, but Executive Chef Ryan Burnham also offers up more delicate and creative dishes like his “mushroom tasting”—a mélange of fresh, wild mushrooms with sunchokes, cranberries, crispy prosciutto and sweet Pedro Ximenez balsamic vinegar—and a roasted-beet salad that looks as beautiful as it tastes. But the entree section of the menu is where things really get interesting. Potato gnocchi, made with organic spuds, is paired with duck confit, caramelized pear, arugula, lemon and a big dollop of housemade burrata. Reviewed Jan. 15. 7570 Royal St. East, Park City, 435-649-7770, GoldenerHirschInn.com

Karma Indian Cuisine

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Walking through this Indian eatery’s front doors brings you into a fashionable and beautiful space. However, as appealing as Karma is to the eye, it’s the cuisine that will keep you coming back. The korma—we ordered korma paneer—is divine. The paneer, a housemade South Asian-style cheese curd with a tofu-like consistency and texture, is bathed in a stupendously delicious and silky korma sauce made with

Occupying the old Lugano space, the brainchild of chef/ owner Tyler Stokes makes a bold design statement with its emphasis on the color orange. The cuisine is just as bold: comfort food with an edge. Steak tartare incorporates soy sauce and mint, not to mention Meyer lemon and sunflower seeds—and it was a revelation. There’s a small section of the menu devoted to “raw” fare like the aforementioned steak tartare, plus a dozen small-

At Deer Valley Resort’s main fine-dining venue, settle in beside a toasty fireplace for delicious appetizers like Kumamoto oysters on the half-shell with housemade seafood sauce and mignonette, or delightful sashimistyle diver scallop drizzled with lime & aji-chile-pepper vinaigrette and cilantro emulsion. I appreciate that The Mariposa menu is mostly small-plate-oriented, so it’s easy to try a lot of tasty dishes rather than just one or two big ones. More divine dishes came and went: pan-roasted boneless quail saltimbocca and miso-braised kale and mushrooms in a Cabernet reduction; Niman Ranch beef short rib with Pontack sauce and salsify-parsnip puree; and my favorite dish, housemade lemon-thyme gnocchi with beurre blanc, Rockhill Creamery aged Edam cheese and slow-poached wild Gulf shrimp. Table and wine service were, as always, up to Deer Valley’s ultra-high standards, where guest-pampering is taken to extreme levels. Reviewed Jan. 15. 7600 Royal St., Park City, 435-645-6715, DeerValley.com/dining

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Provisions

The Mariposa

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The original Bandits was created in the greater Los Angeles area in 1990 and, while the menus are similar at each location, the décor and ambience of each Bandits is unique. A cup of tri-tip chili was easily the best chili I’ve had in ages, and tri-tip—a specialty at Bandits—finds its way into many other dishes. The main sections of the menu are barbecue-heavy. Barbecue items come with a choice of house-made barbecue sauce or jerk sauce; I recommend requesting both, on the side. I opted for a BBQ combo with ribs and half-chicken; the chicken was tender and juicy, but the ribs were tough and chewy. The cedar-plank salmon was lightly spiced, juicy and flavorful—not an easy feat to achieve on a blast-furnace temperature wood-fired grill.

The sides of rice and a veggie medley were also enjoyable and perfectly cooked. Service is about as good as it gets— not something I was expecting from a place self-identified as a “family” restaurant. Reviewed Feb. 12. 3176 E. 6200 South, 801-994-0505; 440 Main, Park City, 435649-7337, BanditsBBQ.com

plates options, a half-dozen or so large plates, and a dessert quartet. Our favorite small-plate choice, by far, was the pig’s head torchons: Niman Ranch pork formed into hockey-puck-like torchons, deep-fried and served crispy with a cherry-ginger compote, pickled mustard seeds and butter-leaf lettuce for assembling pig’s head wraps. That’s what I like about Provisions: The food is complex, but not contrived or convoluted. Reviewed Jan. 29. 3364 S. 2300 East, Salt Lake City, 801-4104046, SLCProvisions.com

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A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews coconut milk, curry spices, ground cashews and golden raisins. I can never resist vindaloo, the traditional curry dish of Goa, when I see it on a menu. Like the korma, the vindaloo at Karma was superb. The tanginess in vindaloo comes from vinegar, which is blended with curry spices and made into a fiery (I ordered mine hot) sauce ladled over tender boneless chicken pieces and potato. Reviewed Jan. 8. 863 E. 9400 South, Sandy, 801-566-1134, EatGoodKarma.com

Mellow Mushroom

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I really do like the pizza at Mellow Mushroom, an Atlantabased pizza chain with a hippie vibe (which perhaps explains why my pizza took 25 minutes to make). The red sauce tastes of bright, ripe tomatoes—not the bitter tomato paste that mars so many commercial pizzas. And the toppings are plentiful and of good quality. The crust is of medium thickness, slightly crisp on the bottom with a nice crunchy and lightly blistered outer crust. And there’s wine, cocktails and a formidable beer selection, to boot, with two-dozen local craft beers on tap and more than 70 bottled brews, including ones from Deschutes, Big Sky and Rogue. They’ll help you remain mellow while awaiting your pie. Reviewed Dec. 25, 2014. 1080 E. 2100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-844-1444, MellowMushroom.com

The Annex by Epic Brewing

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The Annex got a revamp recently, and it knocked my socks off. A newly acquired club license allows patrons to drink alcohol without ordering food. And a new chef, Craig Gerome, is firing on all cylinders in the kitchen. A killer appetizer is a half-dozen Bouchot mussels steamed in Berliner Weiss beer with garlic confit and crisp, crunchy shoestring potatoes. Some of the starters—the pasta, for example—could suffice as small entrees, like the housemade tagliatelle pasta with beef-cheek ragout and the generously portioned housemade ricotta. The pasta was some of the best I’ve ever eaten, and perfectly cooked al dente. Exceptional entrees of steelhead trout with Beluga lentils and herb-fried chicken with fried green tomatoes and heavenly buttermilk risotto firmed up my notion that The Annex is one of the best dining options in Sugar House.

Reviewed Dec. 25, 2014. 1048 E. 2100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-742-5490, TheAnnexByEpicBrewing.com

Bruges Waffles & Frites Sugar House

The Bruges Sugar House location is a couple of years old and features its biggest menu and selection. You’ll find well-known items like Belgian-style fries with a multitude of saucing options, heavenly Liège waffles and the popular Machine Gun sandwich, as featured on the Travel Channel’s Man v. Food. But there is so much more, like waffle sandwiches made with toasted waffles where you’d normally expect to find bread. Even more interesting, in my opinion, are the unique omelets. The Averell omelet, for instance, is eggs with Brie, ham, roasted bell peppers, caramelized onions, portobellos and a choice of either one “freakandel” or two merquez sausages. The “freakandel” is a play on frikandel, a Belgian and Dutch deep-fried, skinless, chicken-pork-beef sausage. My ultimate wish is that someday owner Pierre Vandamme will open a full-blown Belgian restaurant serving dishes like waterzooi, tarte au riz, filet Américain, lapin à la gueuze and moules-frites. But for now, Bruges Waffles & Frites serves my Belgian cravings admirably. Reviewed Dec. 11, 2014. 2314 S. Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-486-9999, BrugesWaffles.

com

Kimi’s Chop & Oyster House

Kimi’s is certainly a fine-dining restaurant, one with warm hospitality and friendly charm. It’s also a feast for the eyes, featuring a modern bar with an LED “fireplace” that pulls the eye to the center of the restaurant. The bar would be a terrific place to enjoy a signature cocktail and nosh on fresh oysters on the half-shell, baked mussels with herb butter, or a plate of toast smogen, a Swedish crostinitype affair with shrimp, crab, dill, horseradish creme, fresh lemon and caviar. The cashew-crusted sea bass is a delicious dish, and the sliced bavette steak, served with a rich port reduction, asparagus, roasted garlic and (by request) pommes frites was tender and tasty, if predictable. Not so predictable were the frites, which were big, thick wedges of the sort I normally loathe. However, Chef Matt Anderson cooked these spud slices to perfection, somehow managing to make them crisp on the outside, but not mealy or undercooked inside. It’s the first wedge fry I’ve ever loved.

Reviewed Dec. 11. 2155 S. Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-946-2079, KimisHouse.com

Even Stevens Sandwiches

Karen Olson, formerly of The Metropolitan (one of my favorite restaurants of recent years), has always been keen on making her community better, and with her latest restaurant venture, Even Stevens Sandwiches, she’s helping to feed those in need. For every sandwich sold at Even Stevens, another is donated to local nonprofits helping to end hunger. The Sloppy Tina is a spot-on vegetarian version of a sloppy Joe, made with mushroom and chickpeas in a zippy tomato-based sauce. There is also a meat lover’s sloppy Joe, a slow-simmered combo of beef and chorizo topped with pickled red onions and served on a Kaiser roll.

The holidays are an especially fitting time to call attention to the work that Even Stevens is doing, as it’s a time when many of us gorge ourselves on holiday fare, while others can’t be sure where their next meal will come from. Maybe it will come from Even Stevens. Reviewed Nov. 27. 414 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 385-355-9105, EvenStevens. com

Harbor Seafood & Steak Co.

At Harbor, every effort is made to use local, in-season ingredients, and to fly in the freshest seafood. So, at a recent dinner, we started the evening with stuffed, battered and fried squash blossoms that came from the restaurant’s garden. An equally outstanding appetizer—although the portion size might cause you to think it’s an entree—is tuna carpaccio, which featured a big slab of sushi-grade tuna, sliced to about 1/8-inch thickness so that it covered the entire dinner plate it was served upon. It’s drizzled with a light citrus vinaigrette, and topped with an edible garnish of avocado, citrus salad and candied wasabi. The service at Harbor is also excellent. It wasn’t until we’d gotten through part of our meal that we discovered our server was none other than co-owner Taylor Jacobsen. Both owners pitch in and work the floor, and in doing so, can afford to pay the other servers better. That’s just another reason to dock yourself at Harbor. Reviewed Nov. 13. 2302 Parley’s Way, Salt Lake City, 801-466-9527, HarborSLC.com

Tosh’s Ramen

“Tosh” is chef/owner Toshio Sekikawa, whose name you

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Storytelling clutter gets in the way of the romantic star power of Insurgent.

By Danny Bowes comments@cityweekly.net @bybowes

T

Theo James and Shailene Woodley in Insurgent sages of utter gibberish. Kate Winslet as a villainous despot displays no more sign of being an organic life form than she did in the first movie (and, for an “Erudite,” she does dumb things almost exclusively).

Naomi Watts’ character might as well be the same person with a brunette dye job and a prole-ier wardrobe, though Watts and Winslet do what they can under the circumstances. Miles Teller thrives again as essentially the comic relief, although his character’s very presence in the story defies reason (perhaps owing to more material from the books that didn’t make it to the screen).

The reality is that little of the above matters. Insurgent is going to make a large pile of money, and moviegoers who have heard of it already know whether they’re interested in seeing it or not.

The story is gibberish, the world poorly conceived and the directing middling to poor, yet there are worse and more harmful ways to spend two hours. Like playing a drinking game where you down a shot every time someone says the word “divergent.” Do not do this. CW

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HH Shailene Woodley Theo James Kate Winslet Rated PG-13

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TRY THESE The Hunger Games (2012) Jennifer Lawrence Josh Hutcherson Rated PG-13

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) Jennifer Lawrence Liam Hemsworth Rated PG-13

Divergent (2014) Shailene Woodley Theo James Rated PG-13

MARCH 19, 2015 | 33

RED (2010) Bruce Willis Helen Mirren Rated R

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that there aren’t very many of them, but Insurgent clarifies that there are massive numbers of “factionless.” So massive, in fact, that another unanswered question manifests: If there are so many of them, and they’re so discontented, why have they not already rebelled? (There may be a reason given in the books, but if so, it did not make it to the screen.) And once one interrogative thread is pulled, the whole movie starts to unravel, since this is not a scenario that holds up under scrutiny.

Nor do the actions of the characters, which frequently seem completely arbitrary.

The lack of coherence manifests itself in the filmmaking as well. Robert Schwentke (RED) takes over as director from Neil Burger, but falls short of his predecessor’s clean arrangement of bodies in space. The action in Insurgent is particularly bad, with cutting implying at times that it takes a phalanx of soldiers five minutes to run across a room.

Additionally, it’s rarely clear whether people are shooting one another with bullets or knockout darts until it becomes evident this actor or that actor won’t be returning.

All of this calls even more unwanted attention to the drab production design and the odd way everything in Chicago is suddenly with walking distance of everything else, and despite the presence of a totalitarian autocracy, wanted political dissidents always get where they want to go with only the most perfunctory of subterfuges.

Despite not being given a lot to work with, Woodley and James manage to power through on sheer charisma, even carrying Insurgent through numerous pas-

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he most interesting aspect of 2014’s Divergent was its fundamental resistance to establishing its own story and world-building. Half the movie felt like a training montage with no particular goal in sight, occasionally interrupted by Shailene Woodley and Theo James being attractive at each other. This part was fabulous, because if training montages are their own cinematic reward, then romances are doubly so. Then arose the annoying intrusion of what the movie was actually about, and it became dumb and derivative of better material.

The second chapter, Insurgent, has none of the respites of training and romance. The dialogue about the factions that provide its post-apocalyptic (so everyone thinks, anyway) world stability is endless, and artless.

The world-building is too elaborate and literalized to function as straight metaphor, and too broadly and shallowly conceived to work as science fiction. The best level on which Divergent and Insurgent work—that of Tris (Woodley) and Four (James) being an unfathomably beautiful young couple in love—is marred by all the clutter.

At its core, Insurgent is a basic construction almost identical to its presumptive inspiration, The Hunger Games: Teen girl fights fascism. This is a fine thing for teen girls to do, and for the actors playing them in movies to be seen doing by other teen girls, who might learn to fight fascism, too.

But the thing that makes the Hunger Games cycle better—especially as movies—is their lack of clutter. The Divergent world is seemingly nothing but.

Insurgent does at least answer one question its predecessor omits: How can everyone in a city fit into five different, and quite specific, personality types? Divergent mentions “factionless” people, and implies

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CINEMA CLIPS

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NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

Insurgent HH See review p. 33. Opens March 20 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13) Do You Believe? [not yet reviewed] Several characters’ journeys of faith are touched by one reinspired pastor. Opens March 20 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13) The Gunman H.5 The cinematic trope of the “ex-Special Forces” badass on a twohour one-man righteous killing spree has become exhausting enough; it’s even more insufferable when it’s wrapped up in a political message. Sean Penn stars as Jim Terrier, who was part of a team that assassinated an uncooperative government official in the Democratic Republic of Congo to help the interests of a mining company; eight years later, a now-retired Terrier is targeted by someone trying to clean up that mission’s loose ends. The attempts to humanize Terrier include giving him post-concussion syndrome to incapacitate him at inconvenient times, and a woman he left behind (Jasmine Trinca) who can cry and be threatened, though only after she has spontaneous “let’s just forget you abandoned me eight years ago” sex with him. But whatever worthy notions might be floating around here—about the human consequences of Western pillaging of the Third World—are buried in the unimaginative parade of brutality, leading up to a truly preposterous conclusion. If you’re going to wag a finger at corporate opportunism, this is hardly the genre in which to do it. Opens March 20 at theaters valleywide. (R)—Scott Renshaw An Honest Liar HHH.5 If directors Justin Weinstein and Tyler Measom had offered nothing but a talking-head retrospective on the career of James “The Amazing” Randi—celebrated escape artist, magician and self-appointed debunker of paranormal frauds— it still would have been a tremendously satisfying experience.

The filmmakers trace Randi’s life from his childhood, through his early fascination with Harry Houdini, and on to Randi’s professional career, focusing on some of his legendary 1970s/1980s exploits—most notably his skeptical pursuit of “psychic” Uri Geller and his takedown of evangelist/faith healer Peter Popoff—in a way that’s both entertaining and evocative of contemporary attempts by scientists to deal with those who view empiricism as a threat. But there’s a curveball as the filmmakers also explore Randi’s personal life—notably his long-hidden 25-year relationship with his life partner, José— which casts a different perspective on the motivations behind Randi’s career of myth-busting. The compelling central figure comes to life in something more vital than a flashback biography; Randi becomes a thoroughly unique kind of modern-day hero. Opens March 20 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—SR Human Capital HH.5 Paolo Virzi takes a big swing at the individual-level consequences of a world focused on money and power, but this knotty narrative seems far more confident in its significance than is warranted.

The story bounces back and forth in time, looking at the same days—leading up to and following from an accident in which a car runs a bicyclist off the road—from the perspective of three characters. Dino (Fabrizio Bentivoglio) wants to invest with hotshot businessman Giovanni (Fabrizio Gifuni); Dino’s daughter, Serena (Matilde Gioli), is dating Giovanni’s son; and Giovanni’s wife, Carla (Valeria Bruni Tedeschi), devotes herself to restoring a local theater. The backtracking chronology creates the sense that this is something of a whodunit, only gradually revealing

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who was responsible for the accident, and that question does drive some interest in the story. But while the performances are solidâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Tedeschi is particularly good as a wife of privilege desperately trying to find a way to fill her daysâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the final revelations donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really justify the buildup. Yeah, greed isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always good, and little guys sometimes get squashed. Just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t act as though you discovered that notion. Opens March 20 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;SR

Django Unchained At Brewvies, March 23, 10 p.m. (R) Kumu Hina At Brewvies, March 19, 7 p.m. (NR) Manakamana At Utah Museum of Fine Arts, March 25, 7 p.m. (NR) Two Days, One Night At Park City Film Series, March 20-21 @ 8 p.m. & March 22 @ 6 p.m. (NR) Wagner and Me At Main Library, March 24, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES Chappie HH.5 Neill Blomkamp loves science-fictionalized allegories; he just hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite figured out how to turn them into cohesive movies.

In his latest, Johannesburg is policed by robots, one of which becomes a guinea pig for his creatorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (Dev Patel) experiments in artificial intelligence. The result is Chappie (Sharlto Copley), whose childlike innocence may be exploited by a group of criminals. Blomkamp and co-writer Terri Tatchell play around with the notion of kids nurtured in a rationalization of crime, and gets nice work from Copley as the morally confused AI. But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also typically Blomkampian in its messy execution of big ideas; he tries to tip his cap to Robocop while failing to understand what made Verhoovenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s social satire sting. Chappie winds up too weird and imaginative to dismiss, but once again, Blomkamp canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t achieve more than a collection of cool ideas. (R)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;SR

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Red Army HHH In the very first scene of Gabe Polskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s energetic documentary, legendary Russian hockey defenseman Slava Fetisovâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;busy on his smartphoneâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;responds to Polskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s questioning by giving him the finger. And itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fetisovâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feistiness that gives this study of the Soviet Red Army national hockey team a spark beyond its talking-head sports-doc fundamentals. Indeed, the movie is ultimately more about Fetisov in particular than about the Red Army team in general, using him as a representative example of how the system treated peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;getting the best players young, and controlling them throughout their careersâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that produced so many international championships.

While Polsky does track the arc of the Soviet Union itself through its early 1990s dissolution, he gives us a sense of Fetisov as a case study of those who pushed backâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;in the instance of Fetisov, against coach Viktor Tikhonov, and against the government balking at allowing him to play in the NHL. The sports footageâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;from the 1980 Olympics upset at Lake Placid, through the subsequent dominance of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Russian Fiveâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;is solid stuff, but Red Army finds its soul in Fetisovâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s example of patriotism at its prickly best. Opens March 20 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;SR

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Cinderella HH In theory, it’s not a terrible notion that director Kenneth Branagh might attempt an earnest re-telling of Charles Perrault’s fairy tale via the Disney animated classic about a plucky young girl (Lily James), an evil stepmother (Cate Blanchett), a romantic ball and a glass slipper. The problem is that this version is just about the humans—almost entirely a nice, slow-build romance between nice people. It is, therefore, almost entirely a huge bore, abandoning the animal characters and songs that gave the animated version all of its charm.

When Helena Bonham Carter shows up as Cinderella’s fairy godmother, goofing her way through prosthetic teeth, there’s a brief glimpse of the spark that’s lacking during the rest of the film. As Disney continues exploiting its own intellectual property, maybe next time they’ll wind up with something more than sappily ever after. (PG)—SR The Last Five Years HH If Richard Lagravenese didn’t want to direct Jason Robert Brown’s musical the way it must be directed in order to make any sense, he shouldn’t have directed it. The premise explores the relationship between Jamie (Jeremy Jordan) and Cathy (Anna Kendrick) in two distinct time lines: moving backward from their breakup from Cathy’s perspective, and forward from their first meeting from Jamie’s. Theatrical staging generally provides clarity regarding where we are in the chronology, but Lagravenese keeps Cathy and Jamie together in such a way that it’s impossible to make heads or tails of the narrative. And the casting shifts the balance of blame too heavily toward the douchey Jamie, as Kendrick beautifully captures every ebb and flow of her confidence in the relationship and in herself. The few lovely tunes and Kendrick’s performance are crushed beneath an approach that’s positively tone-deaf. (PG-13)—SR Run All Night HH.5 It looks like just another movie where bad guys threaten Liam Neeson’s family, and he uses his particular set of skills to kill them.

And in truth, it isn’t much more than that. But this sturdy genre exercise—Neeson’s third collaboration with director Jaume Collet-Serra—finds the imposing Irishman in top form. Neeson plays Jimmy, a drunken retired hit man drawn back into that violent world when his estranged son, Mike (Joel Kinnaman), runs afoul of the hothead son of his former employer (Ed Harris).

Pursued by cops and Maguire’s indestructible contract killer (Common), the Conlons must clear Mike’s name and reconcile their own differences. The themes are familiar, and the surprises are few, but Neeson, Harris and Kinnaman give steely-eyed, better-than-needed performances, elevating the material into the stuff of violent tragedy. It’s better than the past two Takens, anyway. (R)—Eric D. Snider What We Do in the Shadows HHH.5 If there’s an angle of vampire mythology that Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement didn’t find a way to turn into a great joke, I’ll be damned if I could tell you what it is. The fake-umentary premise posits a film crew following a quartet of vampires (including Waititi and Clement) around contemporary New Zealand, getting a sense for what it’s like to be bloodsucking undead in the modern world. Every main character gets a wonderfully distinct personality, allowing for great bits like a conflict between one member of the group (Jonathan Brugh) and a newly changed rookie vampire (Cori Gonzalez-Macuer) that plays out like sibling rivalry. Rarely is there an attempt at anything more substantial than punch lines, and the one exception falls a bit flat. But when a movie is delivering consistently killer punch lines, why pick nits? (R)—SR

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Theater Directory SALT LAKE CITY Brewvies Cinema Pub 677 S. 200 West 801-355-5500 Brewvies.com

Megaplex 20 at The District 11400 S. Bangerter Highway 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Broadway Centre Cinemas 111 E. 300 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org

PARK CITY Cinemark Holiday Village 1776 Park Ave. 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Century 16 South Salt Lake 125 E. 3300 South 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Redstone 8 Cinemas 6030 N. Market 435-575-0220 Redstone8Cinemas.com

Holladay Center 6 1945 E. Murray-Holladay Road 801-273-0199 WestatesTheatres.com

DAVIS COUNTY AMC Loews Layton Hills 9 728 W. 1425 North, Layton 801-774-8222 AMCTheatres.com

Megaplex 12 Gateway 165 S. Rio Grande St. 801-304-4636 MegaplexTheatres.com Redwood Drive-In 3688 S. Redwood Road 801-973-7088 Tower Theatre 836 E. 900 South 801-321-0310 SaltLakeFilmSociety.org WEST VALLEY 5 Star Cinemas 8325 W. 3500 South, Magna 801-250-5551 RedCarpetCinemas.com Carmike 12 1600 W. Fox Park Drive, West Jordan 801-562-5760 Carmike.com Carmike Ritz 15 Hollywood Connection 3217 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City 801-973-4386 Carmike.com Cinemark 24 Jordan Landing 7301 S. Bangerter Highway 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Valley Fair Mall 3601 S. 2700 West, West Valley City 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Showcase Cinemas 6 5400 S. Redwood Road, Taylorsville 801-957-9032 RedCarpetCinemas.com SOUTH VALLEY Century 16 Union Heights 7800 S. 1300 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Cinemark Station Park 900 W. Clark Lane, Farmington 801-447-8561 Cinemark.com Cinemark Tinseltown USA 720 W. 1500 North, Layton 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Gateway 8 206 S. 625 West, Bountiful 801-292-7979 RedCarpetCinemas.com Megaplex Legacy Crossing 1075 W. Legacy Crossing Blvd., Centerville 801-397-5100 MegaplexTheatres.com WEBER COUNTY Cinemark Tinseltown 14 3651 Wall Ave., Ogden 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Megaplex 13 at The Junction 2351 Kiesel Ave., Ogden 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com UTAH COUNTY Carmike Wynnsong 4925 N. Edgewood Drive, Provo 801-764-0009 Carmike.com Cinemark American Fork 715 W. 180 North, American Fork 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Movies 8 2230 N. University Parkway, Orem 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com Cinemark Provo Town Center 1200 Town Center Blvd., Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Cinemark Draper 12129 S. State, Draper 801-619-6494 Cinemark.com

Cinemark University Mall 1010 S. 800 East, Provo 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Cinemark Sandy 9 9539 S. 700 East, Sandy 800-326-3264 Cinemark.com

Megaplex Thanksgiving Point 2935 N. Thanksgiving Way 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Megaplex 17 Jordan Commons 9400 S. State, Sandy 801-304-INFO MegaplexTheatres.com

Spanish 8 790 E. Expressway Ave., Spanish Fork 801-798-9777 RedCarpetCinemas.com

TRUE

BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

We Are Family

TV

Necessary Neutral Negatory

Bloodline delivers the drama-soap, Childrens Hospital returns and Glee says buh-bye.

Bloodline Friday, March 20 (Netflix)

Childrens Hospital Friday, March 20 (Adult Swim)

Two-Hour Series Finale: Six seasons and I still don’t know the difference between Sectionals and Regionals. …

The Following Mondays (Fox) New Season: Speaking of shows that should have quit while they were ahead: Why is Fox promoting this season of The Following as being less violent and twisted? Besides Kevin Bacon as a not-quite-as-craggy-faced placeholder for Jack Bauer, that’s all this series has going for it! Would NBC advertise Hannibal as “Now with 75 percent less peopleeating”? (Trick question: NBC wouldn’t advertise Hannibal at all, they’d just move it to the summer and hope it goes away.) The fact that Bacon’s nemesis, Joe Carroll (James Purefoy), is back behind bars isn’t the problem—it’s called The Following, after all, not That Darn Cult Leader. But after a strong season-premiere episode, the series has fallen back into its pattern of making Bacon’s FBI cohorts look even less effective at catching cult murderers than the Reno 911! squad. Now, I just dream of a joint Glee/Following series finale wherein the entirety of McKinley High is killed off by the Carroll Club.

Bloodline (Netflix) Hot GRITS Wednesday, March 25 (VH1) Series Debut: Whenever I daydream of leaving the glamorous life of journalism for the glamorous-er life of public relations, there’s always a sobering press release to set me right, a chilling reminder that there but for the grace of Flying Spaghetti Monster go I. The latest comes from VH1—Hot GRITS is yet another redneck reality show that a PR hack was forced to summarize: “This down-home series explores the lives of loud and proud GRITS (‘Girls Raised in the South’) from the town of Valdosta, Ga. Dynamic duo Emily and Hailey are the poster girls for Southern belles: They love luxurious cars, glamorous shopping sprees and have dreams of living the high life in the big city. Jenna, Ratchet, Sarah and Bear are typical country girls: They wear camouflage, carry shotguns and serve up Southern sass for dinner.” I can feel my soul slipping down the drain just reading this. … Wait, PR hacks make how much? So long, suckers! CW Listen to Bill on Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell; weekly on the TV Tan podcast via iTunes and Stitcher.

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

Season Premiere: It spawned two great Adult Swim spinoffs, NTSF:SD:SUV and Newsreaders, but Childrens Hospital is still the benchmark for bizarro parody series. What began as a spoof of Grey’s Anatomy (a brave choice, since Grey’s is already ridiculous—and rumored to be still on the air) has evolved its own internal mythology, with a separate cast of “actors” portraying the “characters” of the show and varying international “location” settings that always seem to look like crap sections of Los Angeles—and yet you can still drop in on any episode and follow it.

As Season 6 of Childrens Hospital opens, the doctors are forced to return to “Brazil” after their base in “Japan” was destroyed … five years later. Cool, but is Grey’s Anatomy still on then/now?

Glee Friday, March 20 (Fox)

| cityweekly.net |

Series Debut: American television treasure Kyle Chandler (you know him from Friday Night Lights; to me, he’ll always be Gary Hobson of Early Edition—Wiki it) returns to the screen of your choosing in Netflix’s Bloodline, a juicy new family drama-soap that proves what you’ve always suspected: Floridians be crazy. Bloodline centers on seemingly straight-arrow Florida Keys family the Rayburns (which, in addition to Chandler, includes Sam Shepard, Sissy Spacek, Chloë Sevigny and Linda Cardellini), whose lives are upended when their outcast eldest son (Ben Mendelsohn) suddenly returns and threatens to expose Dark Family Secrets. Bloodline could have been a disjointed mashup of Revenge and Parenthood, but the show’s creators/writers—the team behind Damages—know how to do seething tension right, and the cast delivers. It’s time to start taking that “Netflix Kills Networks” buzz very seriously.

| CITY WEEKLY |

MARCH 19, 2015 | 37

| cityweekly.net |

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38 | MARCH 19, 2015

Go West Moving to Los Angeles breathes new creative life into Moon Honey.

By Kolbie Stonehocker kstonehocker@cityweekly.net @vonstonehocker

C

alling from her hometown of Baton Rouge, La., Moon Honey vocalist/ song w riter Jessica Ramsey remarks that after living on the West Coast for the past six months or so, she’d temporarily forgotten about the South’s ever-present humidity. “It’s oppressive, but in a good way,” says Ramsey, who was back in Baton Rouge at the time for a Moon Honey homecoming show.

But Ramsey and her bandmate, guitarist Andrew Martin, have found more than unLouisiana-like weather in their new Los Angeles home.

In 2014, Moon Honey—formerly a four-person band—became a duo when the group’s bassist and drummer departed to pursue school and other ventures. Left to determine the future of the prog-rock/psychedelic band, remaining members Martin and Ramsey decided to move to California, an area they’d become familiar with on tour.

“I really fell in love with the West Coast in general, just the mountains, the beach, the desert, the redwoods,” Ramsey says, as well as “the lifestyle in Los Angeles, being closer to all these people that have careers in music and likeminded artists in the community that we wanted to live in.”

So, Moon Honey headed west, a move that has reverberated throughout practically every aspect of the band, including the feel of their music and the pace at which they create. But most of all, relocating to Los Angeles signified that Ramsey and Martin were going all in, devoting themselves entirely to the music with rekindled passion and focus.

“When we decided to move to the West Coast, it was mainly because it was only going to be [about] music, and it was a life shift from where we cut out all of our other life ideas, and we wanted to dedicate our entire lives to this band,” Ramsey says. “We want the music to be our life’s work, nothing just trivial—just hard, hard work.”

Being a duo rather than a full band has proved creatively fruitful for Ramsey and Martin, who have come to rely on each other more and more during the writing process. “We’ve started to form an unbreakable bond, me and Andrew,” Ramsey says. “Musically, one does not want to exist without the other, and I think that that is evident in our style.”

Since the beginning, she and Martin have influenced what the other brings to the table. Martin’s mind-bending, intensely detailed writing—influenced by artists such as Jimi Hendrix and King Crimson—directly impacted the unearthly, feral vocals by Ramsey, who, surprisingly, doesn’t have a background in singing. The way her trill-laced singing style developed, she says, “was just in following the way that [Martin] writes. He would give me the tracks, and I would write the vocal melodies and lyrics over it.” The only goal Ramsey had in creating her vocal parts was “to just be authentic,” she says.

“Whatever came out of my mouth, I accepted.”

And now, with the duo pursuing a shared vision for Moon Honey’s future, listeners can soon expect the follow-up to the band’s surreal, esoteric and poetic debut album, 2013’s HandPainted Dream Photographs. “We’re more focused because we’re both on the same page, so things are moving a lot quicker,” Ramsey says. “Our energy is all going into music

Just the two of us: Moon Honey’s Andrew Martin and Jessica Ramsey and nothing else. So we’ve been writing new stuff and can’t wait to release it.”

As yet untitled, the new album will reflect Moon Honey’s new surroundings. Being in sunny California, Ramsey says, has made their music “a little bit more lighthearted. Which is interesting, because Los Angeles can be a very dark city— it’s so huge and there’s so much competition and crime. ...

It could’ve brought us down a little bit, but we are really, really enjoying the fast-paced nature of it and meeting so many people.” A couple of the songs “even sound kind of tropical,” she says, which she partly attributes to the fact that she and Martin—who grew up in the Cayman Islands in the Caribbean—are “finally getting to go to the beach.”

And thanks to “our energy being more focused, I think that the new music will sound more focused,” Ramsey says. Unlike Hand-Painted Dream Photographs, which was painstakingly recorded over three years in Moon Honey’s home studio, and made up of “a ton of layering and instruments playing on top of each other” that created a “very sonically dense sort of landscape that could be difficult for a lot of people to understand,” Ramsey says, the new album will demonstrate that “we are just working on our songcraft and being more minimal and really highlighting certain melodies—letting things breathe a little bit more.”

But even though Moon Honey has left Louisiana for the West Coast and is poised to release an album that could feature a new direction for the band, Ramsey and Martin’s approach to their music at the fundamental level remains unchanged.

“We want to write timeless songs that are full of soul and make people want the things we want, want freedom,” Ramsey says. “But we also want to be never replicating anything that’s happened before, and to be pushing the boundaries of music.” CW

Moon Honey

w/Dark Seas Club Elevate 155 W. 200 South Wednesday, March 25, 7 p.m.

Free MoonHoneyBand.com, TheHotelElevate.com

PAMELA LITTKEY

MUSIC JESSI ARNOLD

MOON HONEY

Cool Factor

By Matthew Quen Nanes comments@cityweekly.net @swansofnever

G

aslight Anthem bassist Alex Levine loves his fashion. In fact, Levine doesn’t have just a passing interest in looking good; it’s been a part of his life for years. “I used to cut hair in gentlemen’s barbershops and [have] always taken an interest in being well put together,” says Levine, who also runs the clothing label Tiger Cuts. “I’m all about leather jackets and greased-back hair.”

Beginning with the New Jersey alt-rock/punk band’s first album, 2007’s Sink or Swim, and up until their recent Get Hurt, singer/guitarist Brian Fallon has blurred 1950s greaser imagery with his real-life experiences. Just as Grease and Happy Days evoked simpler, nostalgic times, the combination of The Gaslight Anthem’s music and image does so in spades.

“In music, whether or not people like to admit it, you have to present yourself as a total package if you want to be a performer. Take The Clash, The Ramones, David Bowie—they all looked fucking cool. It’s a part of the creative process,” Levine says. “With any great band, there’s an underlying theme. People yearn for nostalgia, themes or for something that they know. I think with our band, no matter what our story is, there is something deep down that keeps our fans coming back.”

Although the band still looks the part, The Gaslight Anthem’s newest offering, Billboard Top 5 charting Get Hurt—released in summer 2014—finds the band shelving their greaser third-person narratives for more personal fare. With the upside-down heart album-cover art perhaps signifying the band wearing their hearts on their sleeves, Get Hurt found The Gaslight Anthem searching for new sounds that deviated from their punk tendencies (e.g. the blistering fuzz of “Stay Vicious” and the delicate synths of the title track) while staying true to themselves— despite public reaction.

“Whatever happened in anyone’s personal life aside, our goal was to make something sonically different than before,” Levine says. “Some of our fans don’t necessarily know what to do with the record. Some love it, some hate it, but we aren’t going to apologize for any of it.”

The Gaslight Anthem have come a long way from their humble beginnings (“We were practically homeless when we played Kilby Court,” Levine says) to where they are now (headlining festivals across America and Europe), but what hasn’t changed is the band’s devotion to expressing their style.

“The story back then was four dudes in a van, trying to fulfill our dreams. Eight, nine years later, it’s completely different,” Levine says. “At the end of the day, there is a theme to our band and it’s who we are. We are true to ourselves and our music is honest. We’re unapologetic about anything we do.” CW

The Gaslight Anthem

w/Northcote, Sammy Kay The Depot, 400 W. South Temple Monday, March 23, 8 p.m. $22 in advance, $25 day of show TheGaslightAnthem.com, DepotSLC.com

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40 | MARCH 19, 2015

THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS Thursday 3.19 4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

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Holy Ghost Tent Revival In contrast to what their name and hometown might suggest, Asheville, N.C.-based six-piece Holy Ghost Tent Revival play a style of laid-back, horns-filled rock that’s pretty far from anything resembling gospel, but still has a lot of roosty soul and human authenticity. In fact, Holy Ghost Tent Revival’s sound is more old school than Sunday school, a classic-rock-tinged blend of meandering bass lines and comfortable vocal harmonies that you can chill out and bob your head to.

Besides getting yourself to this show, a good way to get an up-close look at Holy Ghost Tent Revival’s warm, homey style is to look up the band’s entry for NPR’s 2015 Tiny Desk Concert Contest. In the video, they crowd around a desk in their living room and sing a rowdy rendition of “Trouble With the Truth,” from their latest album, 2014’s Right State of Mind. Bar Deluxe, 666 S. State, 9 p.m., $6, BarDeluxeSLC.com

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ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

popular local political podcast The Left Show) was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer.

Now, his medical bills and household expenses are starting to stack up, so Salt Lake City’s comedy, music and podcast scenes are joining forces to give Shaw and his family some much-

That 1 Guy

LIVE

needed assistance. Tonight’s benefit concert will feature a diverse lineup of local talent, including comics Melissa Merlot, Taylor Hunsaker, Kristall Starr and Rebecca Frost, as well as bands/musicians Mary Tebbs, Molten Blue, L.P.X., Magda-Vega, and Dave Hahn with Fred Hebling. The goal is to raise $10,000 from ticket sales and a silent auction to go toward the Shaw family’s medical debt and household bills (including their mortgage), as well as hopefully toward a family vacation so they can make some memories together.

If you can’t attend the show, donations are also being accepted at PodcastPhil.com. Bar Deluxe, 666 S. State, 7 p.m., $15-$100, BarDeluxeSLC.com

Sunday 3.22

That 1 Guy The experimental “earthshaking future funk” created by Las Vegas musician Mike Silverman, aka That 1 Guy, is something you just have to see to believe. Back in the day, Silverman started out as a bassist, but, wanting to explore his own style and unique sound, built his own custom instrument he calls The Magic Pipe, which is essentially a stand-up bass made out of steel pipes, thick bass strings and various electronic components. And the didgeridoolike sounds he gets out of this wild thing are insane; even if you watch all his hands and feet at work—as they wail on The Magic Pipe as well as a snare and bass drum—it’s nearly impossible to track where each sonic nuance is coming from. All the elements somehow come together to form a sound that’s bass-y, weird, spacey and full of visual and sonic surprises. The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 9 p.m., $15, TheUrbanLoungeSLC. com; limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com.

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE

CITYWEEKLY.NET

BY KO L B IE S TO N EH O CK ER

@vonstonehocker

Holy Ghost Tent Revival

Tuesday 3.24

Geographer After a series of family deaths in 2005, Michael Deni left his home in New Jersey and moved to San Francisco, where, armed with a synthesizer and a guitar, he started writing the songs that would become the beginnings of indierock/synth-pop act Geographer. Since then, Geographer has developed and deepened a sound that transports listeners through interwoven layers of wailing, shimmering synths and snappy pop rhythms. And at the center is Deni’s delicate, hypnotic voice, which delivers poignant lyrics with graceful beauty. »

Geographer

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MARCH 19, 2015 | 41

Get your tickets today!

SKYSLC.COM VIP:801-883-8714 or info@skyslc.com

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PUDDLE OF MUDD W/ Whiskey Fish

FASTER PUSSYCAT W/ Radiata

DJ SKRIBBLE America’s Best DJ

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DJ MARSHALL AARON Beginning March 21

THURSDAY, APRIL 2 Doors at 7PM

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W/ Texas Hippie Coalition

CHECK OUT PHOTOS FROM...

ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE Craft Spells Geographer is performing at The Urban Lounge the same day the band is releasing its brandnew full-length album, Ghost Modern, which, as evidenced by new singles “I’m Ready” and “Need,” is a must-listen. Wild Ones and Palace of Buddies will open. The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 9 p.m., $12 in advance, $14 day of show, TheUrbanLoungeSLC. com; limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com

| cityweekly.net |

Tuesday 3.24

Craft Spells Although often awful to deal with, bouts of creative block can sometimes be the impetus that

Coming Soon

Public Service Broadcasting (March 26, The Urban Lounge), Beat Connection (March 26, Kilby Court), Hurray for the Riff Raff (March 26, The State Room), This Will Destroy You (March 27, The Urban Lounge), Trampled

by Turtles (March 27, Park City Live), TV on the Radio (March 28, The Depot), Robert DeLong (March 29, The Urban Lounge), Talia Keys & Friends Woodstock Tribute (March 29, The State Room), Of Montreal (March 29, The Urban Lounge), Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band (April 1, The Urban Lounge)

COMEDY HYPNOSIS

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| CITY WEEKLY |

42 | MARCH 19, 2015

LIVE

bands need to make groundbreaking change happen in their work—at least it was in the case of Seattle-based indie-pop band Craft Spells.

After they released their Gallery EP in 2012, frontman/songwriter Justin Vallesteros moved to San Francisco to attempt to make inroads in the music scene there, but when that venture didn’t work out, he relocated to his parents’ house in Lathrop, Calif., to get a fresh start and deal with a case of creative slump. In his new surroundings, Vallesteros set aside his guitar for a year while he learned how to play piano, on which he wrote all the material for Craft Spells’ second full-length, 2014’s Nausea. In addition to piano, strings, floaty vocals and delicate guitar make up the lovely, dreamy sounds on Nausea; stand-out tracks include “Breaking the Angle Against the Tide” and “Changing Faces.” The Bilinda Butchers and Koala Temple are also on the bill. Kilby Court, 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), 8 p.m., $10, KilbyCourt.com

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May 4: Utah Beats Society May 5: Pianos Become Teeth May 6: Young Fathers May 7: Luke Wade May 10: Dan Deacon May 12: D.O.A. May 13: The Rentals May 18: Local H May 21: Bad Manners May 22: True Widow May 27: The Mountain Goats

 MONDAY NIGHT JAZZ SESSIONS. FIND OUR FULL LINE UP ON OUR FACEBOOK PAGE.

2014 326 S. West Temple â&#x20AC;˘ Open 11-2am, M-F 10-2am Sat & Sun graciesslc.com â&#x20AC;˘ 801-819-7565

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Apr 17: Michal Menert Apr 18: Better Taste Bureau Apr 19: Big Data Apr 20: Peelander-Z Apr 21: Twin Shadow Apr 22: The Soft Moon Apr 23: Buku Apr 24: Acid Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Temple Apr 27: FREE SHOW Starmy Apr 28: Tennis May 2: Strong Words Album Release

| CITY WEEKLY |

 ENJOY DINNER & A SHOW NIGHTLY. Mar 29: of Montreal Mar 30: Rubblebucket & Vacationer Mar 31: Stars Apr 1: Reverend Peytonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Damn Band Apr 2: Quantic Apr 3: DUBWISE Apr 4: Max Pain & The Groovies Return From Tour Apr 6: Monophonics Apr 8: Medusa Collective Apr 9: FREE SHOW Stag Hare Apr 10: Folk Hogan Album Release Apr 11: Electric Wizard Apr 13: Harsh Toke Apr 14: Black Milk Apr 16: The Bee: Dirt

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

MAR 19:

| cityweekly.net |

Join us at Rye Diner and Drinks for dinner and craft cocktails before, during and after the show. Late night bites 6pm-midnight Monday through Saturday and brunch everyday of the week. Rye is for early birds and late owls and caters to all ages www.ryeslc.com

| cityweekly.net |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| CITY WEEKLY |

44 | MARCH 19, 2015

SHOTS IN THE DARK

BY AUSTEN DIAMOND @austendiamond

stair, Psark Down in Street 625 Ma City 00 435-615-72 sPC.com ir ta s n w Do

LIVE MUSIC

FRI 3/20

TERENCE HANSEN SAT 3/21

CAVEMAN BOULEVARD

Marissa Salazar, Mike Johnson, Alyssa Rael

Savannah Kemp, Sam Bargar

Coming Soon 3/27 SALT SHAKERS 3/28 NED & THE DIRT

WEEKNIGHTS MON

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS WITH

TUE WED

LOCALS NIGHT OUT TRIVIA 7PM

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THE ONLY $12 BREAKFAST BUFFET IN TOWN! 10AM-2PM $12 SUNDAY BRUNCH $3 BLOODY MARY / $3 MIMOSA 7PM ADULT TRIVIA EVERY SUNDAY

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Lauren Walker, McKell Gunter

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Let us steam up your wedding.

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Bar exam

Draper’s First and Finest We are proud to be Draper’s first bar/social club.

Come see why we are the best.

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net Explore the latest in Utah’s nightlife scene, from dives to dance clubs and sports bars to cocktail lounges.

Send tips & updates to comments@cityweekly.net Sugar House Pub

Previously one of the newer kids on the block in Sugar House, “The Pub” has become a favorite of locals, including many of the Westminster College students residing in the vicinity. One of the best things about Sugar House Pub is that it’s basically two separate bars under one roof. So, when the younger bro crowd is getting rowdy in the small arcade or watching a game, a much chiller vibe can still be had on the other side of the dividing wall. 1992 S. 1100 East, Salt Lake City, 801-413-2857, Facebook.com/ SugarHousePub

MONDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

75 Wings Industry Night

3 Fried Burritos $ 5.5 Draft Beer & a Shot Karaoke w/ Krazy Karaoke

¢

TUESDAYS 50¢ Tacos $ 2.5 Tecate

SATURDAY

$

THURSDAYS

Beer Pong Tournament

by SLC Pong Cash Prizes & $7.5 Domestic Pitchers

1 Sliders & Live Music SUNDAYS $ 3.5 B-fast Burritos FRIDAYS $

RYAN HYMAS

136 E. 12300 S. | 801.571.8134

Area 51

PRESENTS

FRIDAY, MARCH 27TH

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WILDCAT STRIKE + H. GRIMACE + BEACHMEN + 90’S TELEVISION COMING UP

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follow us on facebook & twitter @club90slc • 150 W. 9065 S. • CLUB90SLC.COM • 801.566.3254

MARCH 19, 2015 | 45

MARCH 26TH: YAMN MARCH 28TH: STURGEON GENERAL APRIL 17TH: MR GNOME APRIL 22ND: SHY GIRLS

Millcreek Grill & Bar is a comfortable neighborhood spot to kick back with friends and enjoy tasty, affordable food. The décor—featuring local art and memorabilia, rustic barn wood and a handcrafted wooden bar—adds to the homey ambiance. The menu focuses on American comfort food, with unique entrees featured weekly.

If you’re thirsty, the beverage menu features local brews, wine and specialty drinks. On the weekends, you can enjoy live music along with your munchies. During nice weather, hang out on the outdoor patio and watch the sunset. 2020 E. 3300 South, Salt Lake City, 801-4840339, MillcreekGrillAndBarUtah.com

aS^R

| CITY WEEKLY |

SAT 3.21:

Millcreek Grill & Bar

COME DRESSED IN THE RIGHT COLOR: GREEN:SINGLE YELLOW: IT’S COMPLICATED RED:TAKEN

W/ MARY TEBBS + MOLTEN BLUE + MAGDA VEGA + L. P. X + MELISSA MERLOT + TAYLOR HUNSAKER + KRISTALL STAR + REBECCA FROST + DAVE HAHN W/ FRED HEBLING HOSTED BY J. M. BELL

This welcoming neighborhood gay hotspot— complete with ample room for booty-shaking, a comfortable patio and friendly service—will sate your need for non-boring drinks that couldn’t be more unusual. With drinks like Purple Kool-Aid, Sweet Swampwater and the Va-jay, your taste buds will be rocked. Try the Cyber Slut, a tasty combo of Malibu Black, peach schnapps, vanilla rum, raspberry rum and triple sec. Stop by on Sundays for barbecue on the patio or, in inclement weather, enjoy Gene’s legendary beer-soaked weenies indoors. 251 W. 900 South, Salt Lake City, 801-364-3203, ClubTry-Angles.com

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

=^YZ 6SQR^ :K\^c

Club Try-Angles

| cityweekly.net |

801-363-0565 | 580 E 300 S w w w. t h e a r t f l o r a l . c o m

Get weird, Salt Lake City. Themes are taken seriously at this dance club, and they keep clubgoers on their toes: hip-hop, ’80s, carnival, heavy metal, vampire and much more. It’s not for nothing, either: The club posts the photos of the festivities to Facebook, so patrons can show off their outrageous ensembles for weeks to come. 451 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-534-0819, Area51SLC.com

CONCERTS & CLUBS

VOTED BEST CABARET ENTERTAINMENT IN UTAH 2015 C H EAP E ST D R I N KS , CO L D E ST B E E R

&

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

H OT TE ST WO M E N

MONDAY NIGHTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S

SERVICE INDUSTRY NIGHT $2 DRINKS & CHEAP FOOD WE HAVE

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This is NOT A Lounge Act! os Our Dueling Pian T are Smoking HO

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&2%% #/6%2 "%&/2% 201 East 300 South, Salt Lake City

WWW.TAVERNACLE.COM

Beardyman Comedic beatboxer Beardyman (born Darren Foreman in London) intertwines as many genresâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;hip-hop, dance, dubstep and reggaeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;as he does threads of sound with The Beardytron, his creation that enables him to loop live and improvise. His 2014 release, Destinations, features intricate beats and vocal manipulation that create layered and complex soundscapes. Track titles are humorous, like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fndege.Gurp,â&#x20AC;? an industrial, vertigoinducing marvel that seems to move forward and backward simultaneously, and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Vampire Skank,â&#x20AC;? a playful ode to dubstep. Beardyman garnered his cult following on YouTube with his video â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kitchen Diariesâ&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;in which he breaks down the art of beatboxingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and his current video project is his â&#x20AC;&#x153;One Album Per Hourâ&#x20AC;? series, in which the audience writes the track titles, and he builds an album, live and unrehearsed. (Tiffany Frandsen) Thursday, March 19 @ The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 9 p.m., $15, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com; limited no-fee tickets available at CityWeeklyStore.com

| cityweekly.net |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| CITY WEEKLY |

46 | MARCH 19, 2015

City Weeklyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hot List for the Week

Same Great Club. Same Amazing Vibe.

-ALL NEW MANAGEMENT-

An Eclectic mix of olde world charm and fronteir saloon

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3200 Big Cottonwood Rd. 801.733.5567 | theHogWallow.com

Thursday 3.19

Friday 3.20

Salt Lake City

Salt Lake City

DJ Infinite Horizon (5 Monkeys) Adlib (Area 51) Holy Ghost Tent Revival (Bar Deluxe) Karaoke (Bourbon House) Live Band Karaoke With TIYB (Club 90) New Orleans Jazz Septet With Doc Miller (Dopo) Corey Christiansen (The Garage) Karaoke (Habits) Morgan Snow (Hog Wallow Pub) Magic Flip, Blue Jay Boogie, Spirit Tribe (Kilby Court) Sounds Like Teen Spirit (Liquid Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Antidote: Hot Noise (The Red Door) QueensrĂżche (Sky) Beardyman (The Urban Lounge) Karaoke (Willieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lounge) Live Reggae Thursday: Tribe of I, Wasnatch (The Woodshed)

Faux Metal Jacket (5 Monkeys) Terravita (Area 51) Save the Forrest: Forrest Shaw Family Benefit Concert (Bar Deluxe) Grind (Bleu Bistro) Canyons Spring Gruv: Keller Williams, Changing Lanes Experience (Canyons Resort) Paid in Full (Club 90) Bayside, Senses Fail, Man Overboard, Seaway (The Complex) Quintino, Timone, TeeJay, Ross K (The Depot) Beachmen, 90s Television, The Wild War (Diabolical Records) Knight Hawk Karaoke (Do Drop Inn) Cool Jazz Piano Trio With Fred McCray (Dopo) Jane Rose & the Deadend Boys (The Garage) Apres Ski With DJ Gawel, DJ Matty Mo (Gracieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Terence Hansen (The Green Pig Pub) DJ Scotty B (Habits) Stonefed (Hog Wallow Pub) Living Element, Alter Ego, Eat Crow (Kilby Court) Babylon A.D. Album Release, Black Vengeance, Berlin Breaks, Renee Plant Band (Liquid Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Âť

Ogden Thirsty Thursday With DJ Battleship (The Century Club)

Park City Cowboy Karaoke (Ciseroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Local Vibes: Kemosabe (Downstairs) Elephant Revival (Park City Live) Triggers & Slips (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Utah County Kindred Dead, LOXS, Spirit City (Velour)

The

Westerner

COUNTRY DANCE HALL, BAR & GRILL

2ND ANNUAL

| cityweekly.net |

BUDWEISER GIRLS GIVING OUT SWAG | BRATS & JUMBO PRETZELS BEER COCKTAIL MENU | NO COVER BEFORE 8 P.M.

FREE LINE DANCING LESSONS 7PM - NO COVER

FREE COUPLES DANCE LESSONS 7PM - NO COVER

fridays

LADIES’ NIGHT

NO COVER FOR LADIES FREE BEGINNER LINE DANCING LESSONS NO COVER BEFORE 8PM

saturdays

LIVE MUSIC NO COVER BEFORE 8PM

&2%% -%#(!.)#!, "5,, 2)$%3 s &2%% 0//, s &2%% +!2!/+%

3360 S. REDWOOD RD. s 801-972-5447 s WED-SAT 6PM-2AM

MARCH 19, 2015 | 47

www.we ste rn e r s lc .c om

| CITY WEEKLY |

STEIN WEDNESDAY

thursdays

wednesdays

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

SATURDAY, APRIL 4

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Nahko & Medicine for the People

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP VINYL RECORDS NEW & USED CD’s, 45’s, Cassettes, Turntables & Speakers

Cash Paid for Resellable Vinyl, CD’s & Stereo Equipment “UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

| CITY WEEKLY |

48 | MARCH 19, 2015

Spring Grüv: Nahko & Medicine for the People, The Motet & More It would seem like spring has arrived in Utah a little early this year, but whether or not the ski resorts will get any more snow before the warm weather is here to stay, Canyons Resort is celebrating spring’s arrival with its eighth-annual Spring Grüv mini-fest.

Until the end of March, Canyons Resort is holding free concerts in the Resort Village for everyone with a lift or gondola ticket. The lineup features a diverse mix of local and national musicians, including Virginia jazz/funk/reggae musician Keller Williams and local party-rock cover band Changing Lanes Experience on March 20; Portland, Ore.-based hip-hop/tribal/folk group Nahko & Medicine for the People (pictured) and Minnesota reggae/EDM/jam band Jon Wayne & the Pain on March 21; and Colorado funk/dance outfit The Motet and locally grown The Patwa Reggae Band on March 28. (Kolbie Stonehocker) Fridays & Saturdays, March 20-28 @ Canyons Resort, 4000 Canyon Resort Drive, Park City, 3 p.m., free with lift/gondola ticket, CanyonsResort.com Super Sly (Pat’s Barbecue) Wayward Molly & Special Guests (Rose Wagner Center) DJ Choice (The Red Door) Big Wild Wings, The Damn Handsomes, The Family Gallows, Nick Johnson Album Release (The Royal) Mac Lethal, Burnell Washburn, Umang, Gentry Fox, Q1, DJ Pookie (The Urban Lounge) Colt 46 (The Westerner) Jack Wilkinson (The Woodshed)

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| cityweekly.net |

CONCERTS & CLUBS

Ogden

�n S�� and �eyond A Free Public Event SLC Public Library Main Branch, Auditorium Join us for music and conversation as we explore the political and educational significance of hip-hop with award-winning artist and activist �eorge �ithm �artinez, Pace University professor �hristopher �alone, �� Street �esus, �ig �urna, and more!

Sponsored by the Tanner Humanities Center, the College of Humanities, the Department of Communication, and the College of Fine arts at the University of Utah. It has also received funding from Utah Humanities (UH). UH empowers Utahns to improve their communities through active engagement in the humanities.

Codi Jordan Band (The Century Club) Son of Iam (Funk ‘N Dive Bar) Brother Grey (Kamikazes) Wayne Hoskins Band (The Outlaw Saloon)

Park City Stereo Sparks (Cisero’s) Rage Against the Supremes (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Utah County Temples, Lemon & Le Mule (ABG’s) RKDN EP Release, Haarlem, I/O (Velour) Woodward Avenue (The Wall)

The Cliterinas, Year of the Wolf, Revolt (Bar Deluxe) Troy Lennerd (Bleu Bistro) Canyons Spring Gruv: Nahko & Medicine for the People, Jon Wayne & the Pain (Canyons Resort) J Boog, Inna Vision, Westafa (The Complex) Will Baxter Music (Devil’s Daughter) Knight Hawk Karaoke (Do Drop Inn) Black Market 111 (The Garage) Chaseone2 (Gracie’s) Caveman Blvd (The Green Pig Pub) Bonanza Town (Hog Wallow Pub) Tony Holiday & the Velvetones (Johnny’s on Second) A RELAXED GENTLEMAN’S CLUB DA I LY L U N C H S P E C I A L S POOL, FOOSBALL & GAMES

NO

C OV E R EVER!

Saturday 3.21 Salt Lake City Moose Knuckle (5 Monkeys) Grandtheft (Area 51)

2750 SOUTH 300 WEST (801) 467- 4600 11:30-1AM MON-SAT · 11:30AM-10PM SUN

CONCERTS & CLUBS Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

Ocean Commotion, Static Waves, Little Barefoot (Kilby Court) The Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Hollywood Undead, From Ashes to New (Murray Theater) Grenadillo (Pat’s Barbecue) Wayward Molly & Special Guests (Rose Wagner Center) Dance Party Divas, The Grey Dogs (The Royal) 88 Back, DJ Erockalypze, DJ Handsome Hands, DJ Juggy, DJ Dizz, The Mixed Apes (The Urban Lounge) Colt 46 (The Westerner)

Ogden Breakfast Klub (Brewskis) Lorin Walker Madsen & the Hustlers (Funk ‘N Dive Bar) Wayne Hoskins Band (The Outlaw Saloon)

Park City

Utah County Mark Carey (The Wall)

Sunday 3.22 Salt Lake City

Ogden Karaoke Sundays With KJ Sparetire (The Century Club) Mo

Monday 3.23 Salt Lake City

Park City Amanda Johnson (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Utah County Open Mic (Velour) Open Mic (The Wall)

Wednesday 3.25 Salt Lake City Karaoke With Steve-O (5 Monkeys) Tantric (Area 51) Couches, Wildcat Strike, Beachmen, H Grimace, 90s Television (Bar Deluxe) Moon Honey, Dark Seas (The Barrel Room, see p. 38) Jazz Wednesdays With the Jim Guss Trio (Bleu Bistro) Diabolical Daze: The Shivas, Twerps, Super 78, The Nods, Creature Double Feature (Diabolical Records) DJ Street Jesus (The Green Pig Pub) The Talbott Brothers (Hog Wallow Pub) Futuristic, Sam Lachow, Mountain West Fresh (In the Venue/Club Sound) Viet Cong, What Moon Things, Andy Shauf (Kilby Court) Have Mercy, Weatherbox, You Me & Everyone We Know, Head North (The Loading Dock) Kaustik, Sonic Prophecy, Call of Madness, Fatal Curse (Metro Bar) Entourage Karaoke (Piper Down) Ed Kowalczyk (The State Room) The Velvet Teen, Slow Bird, Francisco The Man, Artistic Violence (The Urban Lounge) DJ Matty Mo (Willie’s Lounge) Jam Night Featuring Dead Lake Trio (The Woodshed)

Ogden Karaoke (Funk ‘N Dive Bar) Karaoke (The Outlaw Saloon)

Park City Telluride Meltdown (Cisero’s) Miss DJ Lux (Downstairs) Brian Ernst (The Spur Bar & Grill)

March 27th - 28th

http://www.soundwarehouseutah.com

MARCH 19, 2015 | 49

The Gaslight Anthem, Northcote, Sammy Kay (The Depot, see p. 38) Monday Night Jazz Session: David Halliday & the Jazz Vespers (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig Pub) Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub)

DJ Stereo Sparks (Cisero’s) Shpongle (Park City Live) Alicia Stockman (Riverhorse on Main) Talia Keys (The Spur Bar & Grill)

| CITY WEEKLY |

Red Cup Party: DJ Matty (Downstairs) Open Mic (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Park City

Park City

Nights to Remember: DJ Jpan, DJ Bentley (Canyon Inn) Hell Jam (Devil’s Daughter) Diabolical Daze: Corners, Chalk, Fossil Arms, Tim Allen’s Forces (Diabolical Records) Craft Spells, The Bilinda Butchers, Koala Temple (Kilby Court) Open Mic (The Royal) Geographer, Wild Ones, Palace of Buddies (The Urban Lounge)

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

Funk & Soul Night With DJ Street Jesus (Bourbon House) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) The Steel Belts (Donkey Tails) Garage Acoustic Sunday: John Louviere (The Garage) Skizzy Mars, Prelow, Swizzy Mack (In the Venue/Club Sound) That 1 Guy (The Urban Lounge) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (The Woodshed)

Salt Lake City

| cityweekly.net |

DJ Bizzy, Concise Kilgore (Downstairs) Suzanne Vega (Eccles Center for the Performing Arts) Markus Schulz (Park City Live) Sin City Soul (The Spur Bar & Grill)

Tuesday 3.24

| cityweekly.net |

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50 | MARCH 19, 2015

| CITY WEEKLY • ADULT |

Adult

ESCORTS

(801) 307-8199 Visit afyescorts.com to view our models

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

Š 2015

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

10. Takes off 11. Network that became Spike in 2003 12. Wine: Prefix 13. Votes on Scottish independence 14. "So what ____ is new?"

18. 1998 Winter Olympics host 23. Alphabet ender in England 24. Calif. air hub 25. Lumberjack's tool 26. Response to "Am not!"

27. Meeting point 28. Hoopsters Archibald and Thurmond 29. Some versions of Windows 31. Coated candy 32. "The Lady's Got Potential" musical 33. Like the strings on many tennis rackets Down 35. Lived it up 1. Voice below soprano 38. Org. with auditors 2. Trim 39. Wisconsin city on 3. River through Florence Lake Michigan 4. Lightning ____ 42. Swabby's tool 5. 1980s TV show that inspired a 2006 film 43. Blasting stuff 6. Makes mistakes 44. Opposite of WSW 7. One-named singer of the 1998 hit "It's All 46. Partial About Me" 47. Buck's defense 8. "Lost in La ____" (2002 Johnny Depp film) 49. Towel off again 9. ____ regime (pre-1789 French government) 51. Part of NRA: Abbr.

52. "And every ____ tear can claim": Lord Byron 53. Brazilian pop star ____ Santana 55. Twist 56. Chowder tidbit 57. Do some fall cleanup 58. "Washingtons" 60. 55-Across airer 61. Suffix with winter 62. ____ Beta Kappa

Across

Last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s answers

| CITY WEEKLY |

MARCH 19, 2015 | 51

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

SUDOKU

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

| cityweekly.net |

1. Cellphone feature 6. 2015 Oscar nominee for her role in "Birdman" 15. "Vive ____!"

16. 1970 Oscar nominee for his role in "Love Story" 17. After catching some rays, actor Aykroyd headed a foreign film festival?

19. A dedicator of Central Park's Strawberry Fields 20. "No ____!" (Spanish "Uncle!")

21. Geometry fig.

22. Sugar suffix 23. Turn sharply 24. Tom Jones' "____ Lady" 26. Person who loves actress Hathaway's airport shuttle service?

30. Mutants of Marvel Comics 34. Draw inferences from 35. Backbreaking 36. Abbr. after a phone no.

37. Firms: Abbr.

38. Roth ____ 40. Zilch 41. "Do something about it! I dare you!"

43. Acquired by, in the big leagues 45. ____ buco 46. Disallow a guy from being an MRI technician?

48. What Command-P means on a Mac 50. "May ____ excused?"

51. Cobbler's tool 54. "Please, have some!"

55. "Celebrity Jeopardy!" show, briefly 56. ____-Magnon 59. "Let's do it" (or a comment about each word in 17-, 26- and 46-Across) 63. Summer cooler 64. Soda shop order 65. Fictional character beloved by Sandra Day O'Connor, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Sonia Sotomayor when they were girls 66. x

| cityweekly.net |

| COMMUNITY |

52 | MARCH 19, 2015

PHOTO OF THE WEEK BY

Daniel Gentry community

beat

#CWCOMMUNITY send leads to

community@cityweekly.net

Lightweight fashion

In the market for a unique gift for the man in your life? Check out Element Rings, a local company specializing in carbon fiber jewelry. Started by long-time friends and Utah residents Rylan Hayes and Max Pia, Element Rings are 100% original, handmade carbon fiber rings.

Carbon fiber, made of carbon and other materials to form a composite, has an extremely high strength-toweight ratio, which means Element Rings can feel almost weightless even though they are incredibly durable.

“My day job is involved heavily in carbon fiber in aerospace and industrial application, so I have a fair amount of background when it comes to dealing with the material in general,” explains Hayes. Element Rings are also perfect for customers who have metal allergies.

Hayes, a graduate of the University of Utah in mechanical engineering, has known Pia since high school. “Max and I started this, officially, in October 2013,” Hayes says.

“Before that, were fooling around, making rings for friends and ourselves. Based on the popular feedback, we thought it would make sense to start a small business and market the rings. Max has started up three or four successful businesses, so we brought our skillsets together.”

By combining the carbon fibers in different ways and angles, Element can create rings with wave, patchwork, striped, and checkerboard patterns. The rings start at $88 and range up to $235. According to their website, Element Rings started in a “lowly little garage” in Hayes’ backyard “and has grown to … um … wait, we’re still in a lowly

little garage in the backyard. But we are truly happy about that!”

Element Rings does not have a brick-and-mortar storefront, but they are looking to expand their product into stores around town so customers can see the product in person before they buy. “We’re looking for partners who are interested in working with us,” Hayes says.

So far, he is encouraged by the response local stores have to the rings.

“There’s a need for something unique and new and high-tech” in men’s jewelry, explains Hayes. “I’ll be shopping around the valley and [stores] seem to be really lacking in that realm.”

In addition to the craftsmanship that goes into each ring, Element Rings also takes pride in its excellent customer relations. “We currently have 44 review on our Etsy shop, and they’re all five-stars,” says Hayes. The reviews almost uniformly note the customer service, the unique and beautiful nature of the rings, and the durability of the product.

Element Rings are great for the guy who works with his hands because they are so strong. Carbon fiber is often referred to as “bulletproof,” but Element Rings are not quite that impenetrable. If the ring is hit hard enough or repeatedly abused, it may chip, but that’s not the end of the world. Simply take wet sandpaper (120 grit) to the chipped section until it is smoothed over.

Element Rings offers free shipping in the United States, free exchanges, and free returns. International shipping is just $10 for your first order. For more information about Element Rings, find them on the web at https://elementrings.com, Facebook at https://w w w.facebook.com/elementrings, and Instagram @elementrings, or check out their Etsy shop at https://www.etsy.com/ shop/Elementrings. n

INSIDE / COMMUNITY BEAT PG. 52 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY PG. 53 SLC CONFESSIONS PG. 54 URBAN LIVING PG. 54 poet’s corner Pg.55

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ARIES (March 21-April 19) You’re entering a time and space known as the Adlib Zone. In this territory, fertile chaos and inspirational uncertainty are freely available. Improvised formulas will generate stronger mojo than timeworn maxims. Creativity is de rigueur, and street smarts count for more than book learning. May I offer some mottoes to live by when “common sense” is inadequate? 1. Don’t be a slave to necessity. 2. Be as slippery as you can be and still maintain your integrity. 3. Don’t just question authority; be thrilled about every chance you get to also question habit, tradition, fashion, trendiness, apathy and dogma.

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Your mind says, “I need more room to move. I’ve got to feel free to experiment.” Your heart says, “I think maybe I need more commitment and certainty.” Your astrologer suggests, “Be a bit more skeptical about the dream lover who seems to be interfering with your efforts to bond with the Real Thing.” I’m not sure which of these three sources you should heed, Libra. Do you think it might somehow be possible to honor them all? I invite you to try.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “Without your wound where would your power be?” asked writer Thornton Wilder. “The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human TAURUS (April 20-May 20) By 1993, rock band Guns N’ Roses had released five successful being broken on the wheels of living.” Let’s make that one of your albums. But on the way to record their next masterpiece, there ongoing meditations, Scorpio. I think the coming weeks will be an were numerous delays and diversions. Band members feuded. excellent time to come to a greater appreciation for your past losses.

Some were fired and others departed. Eventually, only one original What capacities has your suffering given birth to? What failures member remained to bring the task to conclusion with the help of have made you stronger? What crucial lessons and unexpected new musicians. The sixth album, Chinese Democracy, finally emerged benefits have emerged from your sadness and madness? in 2008. I’m seeing a similarity between Guns N’ Roses’ process and one of your ongoing projects, Taurus. The good news is that I SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) think most of the hassles and delays are behind you, or will be if you “Creating is not magic but work,” says Kevin Ashton, author of the book How to Fly a Horse: The Secret History of Creation, act now. You’re primed to make a big push toward the finish line.

Invention, and Discovery. In other words, inspiration is a relatively small part of the creative process. Over the long GEMINI (May 21-June 20) The anonymous blogger at Neurolove.me gives advice on how haul, the more important factors are self-discipline, organized to love a Gemini: “Don’t get impatient with their distractibility. thinking, hard work, and attention to detail. And yet inspiration Always make time for great conversation. Be understanding isn’t irrelevant, either. Brainstorms and periodic leaps of insight when they’re moody. Help them move past their insecurities, and can be highly useful. That’s a good reminder as you enter a phase tell them it’s not their job to please everyone. Let them have space when you’re likely to be more imaginative and original than but never let them be lonely.” I endorse all that good counsel, and usual. I expect creative excitement to be a regular visitor. add this: “To love Geminis, listen to them attentively, and with expansive flexibility. Don’t try to force them to be consistent; CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) encourage them to experiment at uniting their sometimes The fictional detective Sherlock Holmes was a good Capricorn, conflicting urges. As best as you can, express appreciation not born January 6, 1854. In the course of Arthur Conan Doyle’s just for the parts of them that are easy to love but also for the 60 stories about his life, he revealed his exceptional talent as parts that are not yet ripe or charming.” Now feel free, Gemini, to an analytical thinker. His attention to detail was essential to his success, and so was his expertise at gathering information. show this horoscope to those whose affection you want.

He did have a problem with addictive drugs, however. Morphine tempted him now and then, and cocaine more often, usually CANCER (June 21-July 22) You have recently been to the mountaintop, at least when he wasn’t feeling sufficiently challenged. Let this serve metaphorically. Right? You wandered out to the high frontier as a gentle warning, Capricorn. In the coming weeks, seek more and ruminated on the state of your fate from the most expansive relaxation and downtime than usual. Focus on recharging your vista you could find. Right? You have questioned the limitations psychic batteries. But please be sure that doesn’t cause you to you had previously accepted, and you have weaned yourself from get bored and then dabble with self-sabotaging stimuli. at least one of your devitalizing comforts, and you have explored certain possibilities that had been taboo. Right? So what comes AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) next? Here’s what I suggest: Start building a new framework or English is my first language. Years ago, there was a time when structure or system that will incorporate all that you’ve learned I spoke a lot of French with my Parisian girlfriend, but my skill faded after we broke up. So I’m not bilingual in the usual sense. during your break.

But I do have some mastery in the language of music, thanks to my career as a singer-songwriter. Having raised a daughter, I LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) According to the international code of food standards, there are 13 also learned to converse in the language of children. And I’ve possible sizes for an olive. They include large, extra large, jumbo, remembered and worked with my nightly dreams every day for extra jumbo, giant, colossal, super colossal, mammoth, and super decades, so I speak the language of dreams. What about you, mammoth. If I had my way, Leo, you would apply this mind-set to Aquarius? In the coming weeks, I bet you’ll be challenged to make everything you do in the coming weeks. It’s time for you to think more extensive use of one of your second languages. It’s time to be very big. You will thrive as you expand your mind, stretch your adaptable and resourceful in your approach to communication. boundaries, increase your territory, amplify your self-expression, PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) magnify your focus, and broaden your innocence.

Do you need a reason to think sharper and work smarter and try harder? I’ll give you four reasons. 1. Because you’re finally VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “Half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too ready to get healing for the inner saboteur who in the past has quickly and not saying no soon enough,” proclaimed humorist undermined your confidence. 2. Because you’re finally ready Josh Billings. That’s an exaggeration made for comic effect, of to see the objective truth about one of your self-doubts, which course. (And I think that some of life’s troubles also come from is that it’s a delusion. 3. Because you’re finally ready to stop saying no too much and not saying yes enough.) But for you, blaming an adversary for a certain obstacle you face, which Virgo, Billings’ advice will be especially pertinent in the coming means the obstacle will become easier to overcome. 4. Because weeks. In fact, my hypothesis is that you will be able to keep your you’re finally ready to understand that in order to nurture and troubles to a minimum and boost your progress to a maximum hone your ample creativity, you have to use it to improve your life on a regular basis. by being frugal with yes and ample with no.

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I wear my girlfriends underwear to church.  My grandpa is like Ebenezer Scrooge and Montgomery Burns put together. He’s a stingy old asshole who only cares about money. I’m secretly excited for him to die, so that he can see us all happy at his funeral from the other side, and for him to know that we were only nice to his face to keep him from being a jerk to us.  I stay with a friend whom I’ve known for 20 years. Suffice to say, I’m appalled by how filthy her house is. There are clothes everywhere and the bathrooms are a health hazard. One of her kids shit all over themselves and they didn’t bother to clean her clothes and left the toilet unflushed. I have to clean everything because they have an aversion to cleaning. Her brother bathes once a week, if at all. At the first opportunity, I’m out of here. I can’t see how they can live in such filth.

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Dog Ponies

If you went to the St. Patrick’s Day parade at the Gateway this past weekend...

No, strike that. If you are SOBER enough to remember the St. Patrick’s Day parade at the Gateway you’ll remember seeing manyo-Great Dane dogs walking with their humans down Rio Grande Street. This is the first time that the dogs have made their presence known and well they did it right by dressing up with tiny green hats, sequined neck ties and one even decorating its butt with green sparkly polka dots.

Don’t you just love a big ole dog? I do but my cats don’t! Danes are originally a German breed of domestic dog known for its ginormous size. To me they look like small ponies and are one of the world’s tallest dog breeds. The back hips on one of the parade dogs came up almost to my navel and I’m 5’6” tall! Like so many dog breeds they were raised for hunting and are known by the American Kennel Club as a ‘working breed’. The bigger the dog, the bigger the prey. They were used to hunt boar and bears back in the day and their owners used to crop their ears so they wouldn’t get ripped up by prey during the fights that often came with the killing. The dogs are related to Mastiffs but have more grace and dignity than their bulky muscley Mastiff brethren.

There’s a local group in Utah called the Rocky Mountain Great Dane Rescue and they were the non-profit that brought the dog ponies to the parade. My friend Kara is one of the crazy-Dane-Ladies adopting the dogs and helping to rescue them. She is known for having raised a pot-bellied pig and a one legged duck, with three dogs, a wife and daughter in her tiny little lower Millcreek home. Her wife takes up a small corner of the house to watch TV and play video games, but the rest of the home is for the pets. Leisha (adult daughter of crazyDane-person who is also a Dane owner herself) has been yanked into the rescuing of giants too and also had a big beauty at the end of a leash in the parade. I like Leisha because she constantly carries a slobber towel to wipe the drool coming constantly from the dog mouths.

Folks often get Danes because they think they’re cool. Then they grow up and turn into something as big as a sofa. They can’t care for them properly and so good souls help find new homes for them. The Rocky Mountain Great Dane rescue folks need temporary foster homes for the dogs and volunteers to just drive legs of cross country trips to get them to their new homes. Want to help get these big dogs new homes? www.rmgreatdane.org​n

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