City Weekly August 17, 2023

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Breaking the Internet

U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren, DMass., is a school-marmish New England pseudo-liberal technocrat.

U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., is a Deep South pseudo-conservative militarist.

They’ve staked out their respective stomping grounds in opposing wings of the American uni-party. So when they agree on something—anything at all—Katie, bar the door.

Trouble’s on the way, because while they might seem like political oppo-

sites, they share one overriding value in common: Both of them want to run your life. The theoretical purpose of their “bipartisan” (another warning signal not to be ignored) Digital Consumer Protection Commission Act is to “protect consumers, promote competition, secure Americans’ privacy, guard national security and prevent harm online.”

Its actual purpose is to put a pack of bureaucrats in charge of the internet so you don’t get to see anything Warren and Graham think you shouldn’t see. Which, between the two of them, is probably pretty much everything (except perhaps press releases from the offices of Warren, Graham, and their fellow political cultists).

Aside from the risible “consumer protection” claim, naturally, they justify their prospective power grab on a “for the children” basis: It’s not that they’re megalomaniacs, see, it’s that they’re against all the things

everyone is against—“child sexual abuse material and sexual exploitation, human trafficking, drug trafficking, cyberbullying ... eating disorders, addictive behaviors and teen suicide.”

Presumably, most of us agree that the Graham/Warren laundry list is chock full of Very Bad Things. But it’s a giant leap of faith to expect a new government bureaucracy, armed with powers that clearly violate the First Amendment and other basic principles of anything resembling a free society, to accomplish much in the way of fighting Very Bad Things, real or imagined.

The next time that happens will be the first time it happens. And there’s not going to be a first time.

By the time the federal government gave up on alcohol prohibition, more Americans were consuming more booze than when it started. While the war on drugs may not yet be formally

ended, it’s increasingly clear that the drugs have won. And if you’d like to see a mass shooting, just park your car in any area marked “gun-free zone” and wait a little while.

Graham and Warren are just the latest pair in a long, eternal line of busybodies who think they’re entitled to police what you read, view, listen to, smoke, drink or otherwise ingest, and who demand that you trust them to do so.

I don’t know that these two are any less trustworthy than their predecessors, but that’s not the issue. The issue is that no one’s entitled to, or should be trusted to, make such decisions on your supposed behalf.

THOMAS L. KNAPP

William Lloyd Garrison Center for Libertarian Advocacy Journalism

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THE WATER COOLER

What’s your opinion on using AI?

Scott Renshaw

Don’t like it, don’t want it, not happy with where it’s headed.

Benjamin Wood

The potential to eliminate rote, mundane tasks is huge, which can free up people’s time for more creativity and exploration. It’s on us to keep guardrails in place.

Doug Kruithof

It’s a great tool to help identify potential rhymes … but it’ll always be a human endeavor to sonnetize!

Kelly Boyce

It’s here to stay. Now we have to adapt like we do with all new technology and make proper regulations as needed. Sadly there will be mistakes made in the process, and jobs and lives will be affected.

Wes Long

It will be used for selfish economic reasons and adversely affect those of varying crafts and trades. Our collective standard for the arts and writing will particularly suffer.

Bryan Bale

I wouldn’t rely on it to do any actual work. Large Language Models like ChatGPT are little more than glorified autocomplete engines, and image generators don’t do real artists any favors.

OPINION

BY JOHN RASMUSON

An Ode to Shoes

“Ode-writing is a two-way street. The universe will disclose itself to you, it will give you occasions for odes … but you’ve got to be ode-ready.”—James

Parker

Not since reading John Keats’ and Percy Shelley’s iconic poems in college had I given a moment’s thought to an ode. I certainly didn’t think of myself as “ode-ready” as three of my teenage kin tried on new shoes: cowgirl boots for a getaway to Nashville; sparkling Converse Chucks for a Taylor Swift concert; steel-toe work boots for a job on a landscaping crew.

But while I watched them model the new footwear, I heard the universe whispering like Obi-wan Kenobi: “Shoes,” it said.

What’s with shoes? That was one question keeping me on a mental treadmill for days afterward. Another had me wondering how I came to be in ode-ready sync with the universe—whatever that entails. I eventually decided that the back door to ode-readiness had been left ajar while I was writing a biographical sketch for a high-school reunion.

In it, I experimented with a “jukebox musical” structure, whereby songs are invoked for the emotional dimension they add to a past event. My experiment foundered somewhere between Elvis singing “Blue Suede Shoes” and Paul Simon’s “Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes.” Nevertheless, I sense that the failed autobiography left me in an ode-receptive state.

I think of an ode as a form of homage. That it is subjective and introspective is also in its nature. An ode draws

as much from the writer as it does from the subject, and there seems to be no subject that is off-limits.

Keats wrote odes about a Grecian urn and a nightingale. The west wind and liberty were celebrated by Shelley. Pablo Neruda penned a 160-word ode to his socks. If the universe is boosting shoes, who am I to argue?

I have enough shoe-related memories to convince me that a shoe ode could be written. In my elementary school, for instance, a pair of new shoes was such an uncommon event, it was celebrated in a song ritual. I remember skipping around the room as my classmates sang in unison: “John has new shoes on today.”

I mostly wore Converse sneakers. So did all the boys— but nary a girl. (Technically speaking, we wore “tennis shoes,” not “sneakers,” as prescribed by Utah’s dialect.) All these years later, the high-top canvas shoes are chic enough for Swifties. Like Vans, Birkenstocks, Doc Martens and Brooks Brothers White Bucks, they signal the wearer walks the talk of an affinity subculture.

Shoes are generally part of a story—usually a story reexamined. I wore Clarks Desert Boots for a time and then Danish Earth Shoes. Both were flatteringly hip, I thought, and both were as reflective of the 1960s counterculture as leather sandals and love beads.

At Highland High School in the early 1960s, black lowtops were must-have tennis shoes. Even more popular were the unisex penny loafers called Weejuns.

My first pair was tricked out with shiny dimes on top and metal taps on the heels. I soon ditched the coins and taps, but I bought the cordovan loafers successively until the Vietnam-era draft intervened. The Army insisted I wear black combat boots instead.

I eventually moved to Massachusetts, where Sperry Boat Shoes displaced my Weejun habit. In New England, boat shoes worn without socks were a mainstay of a clothing style dominated by L.L. Bean.

At the core of Bean’s preppy style was a balance between the utilitarian and the fashionable. The duck boot is a good example—with its leather uppers and brownrubber bottoms, the distinctive footwear has been a Bean

bestseller since 1911. You could wear them at a hunting lodge in Maine or a restaurant in Boston without raising an eyebrow.

Contrast that with a tactic adopted by Boston commuters, many of whom were women in suits. Some wore sneakers on the subway—they carried pumps in a bag and swapped out the sneakers at the office door. This concession to comfort was at odds with the wry premise of a Billy Crystal sketch on Saturday Night Live. It’s better to look good than to feel good, he said, spoofing actor Fernando Lamas.

The urge to look good weakens below the ankles. Clothes may make the man, as Mark Twain observed, but shoe choice is consequential despite having the status of a back-up singer. (Note, however, that Gladys Knight’s success relied on the Pips’ vocals.)

A careless choice of shoes could be risky. To wear white “dad sneakers” in a foreign city is to alert pickpockets of an American tourist, an easy mark. Wearing white bucks after Labor Day might draw a sideways glance in some quarters—so would sandals with socks.

On the other hand, the Earth Shoe’s “negative heel” improves posture. Hokas ease the pain of fallen arches. Duck boots are waterproof.

Narrowing the divide between comfort and fashion has been one result of the jogging craze that swept the country in the 1970s. The first Nikes were cushiony, feel-good shoes welcomed by weekend joggers. By decade’s end, the company’s logo had developed its own aesthetic appeal. The Nike brand looked good and felt good, the two becoming one in the same.

To reach this conclusion, the patient reader has walked a mile in my shoes only to stumble onto an ode in waiting. Named for a mythological Greek goddess and branded with a wing-inspired “Swoosh,” Nike provides everything an ode-ready scribbler needs. So, let’s just do it! CW

Private Eye is off this week. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

BY KATHARINE BIELE | @kathybiele THE

MISS: What About Now?

The truth hurts, but it also heals—at least that’s how the saying goes. It was heartening, then, to hear the Salt Lake County Republican Party speak out about the horrors of slavery. “So proud that the Republican Party was formed to fight this evil and has never waivered,” the party tweeted (or “X’d,” if that’s what we do now?). They did it in typical GOP fashion— grounding themselves in a past that no longer exists. “The problem is that the Republicans and the politics of 1860 bear almost zero resemblance to the Republicans of today,” a 2020 CNN reporter wrote. The Republicans of the Lincoln era abolished slavery and gave freed slaves the right to vote. Today, Southern Republicans—Alabama, for instance—make it harder for Blacks to vote and were not exactly leaders in the Civil Rights movement. Just ask Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, who thinks slavery was a pretty great opportunity for the enslaved.

HIT: Land Grabs

From Obama to Trump to Biden, national monuments have bounced back and forth in a political game of Wilderness Bingo. Now the cards have flipped back to Democratic protectionism, and Utah is not happy. Indeed, the state is inhibited by the fact that nearly 65% of the state is federal land. But much of that land is uninhabitable, while still a precious and unreachable commodity for the extractive industries. Now a Utah federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit from the state and Kane and Garfield counties. It’s all about the Antiquities Act and whether it gives presidents authority to name and protect new monuments over state’s objections. So, for now, Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante are safe from human tinkering. But of course, the U.S. Supreme Court is in the headlights.

MISS: Runaway Train

Speaking of extractive industry, “the Uinta Basin Railway would let producers, currently limited to tanker trucks, ship an additional 350,000 barrels of crude daily on trains up to 2 miles long,” the AP reports. While the country still needs fossil fuels, transporting crude oil on the rail line would be expedient but environmentally risky, at best. The rail line abuts the Colorado River and a derailment would be catastrophic. So far, trucking crude has been difficult and labor intensive, and Utah is investing billions with oil and gas companies to get an 88-mile line through tribal and national forest land. At this point, the rail line has gained some important approvals even though there are still bureaucratic hoops to hurdle. It’s unclear how President Biden will be able to stop it, or even if he would spend the political capital necessary.

Small Lake City

BY BENJAMIN WOOD bwood@cityweekly.net

There’s a habit among Salt Lake locals to joke about “Small Lake City,” typically in reference to running into someone they know while out and about in town but also used in any number of ineffably “smalltown” experiences. And it can denote a couple different emotions—from the awkward embarrassment of crossing paths with an ex-partner to the kismet charm of encountering old friends at old (and new) haunts.

To be clear: I’m into highlighting our connections and not suggesting we stop. In fact, beginning with next week’s special issue of City Weekly—in which we’ll kick off a 40-week rewind through our archives counting up to our ruby anniversary in the spring— this column will cease being “The Streets” and will become “Small Lake City,” a space for weekly conversations on hyperlocal topics by various writers.

Those writers need not necessarily be internal to the City Weekly staff and its regular contributors, though outside submissions will be held to a higher editorial standard (and discretion) than traditional letters to the editor, which appear in the Soap Box on Page 4. Email bwood@cityweekly.net for additional information.

But I digress. With regard to the phrase “Small Lake City,” I can’t help but strain when I hear some who negatively imply that it’s bizarre or atypical to run into acquaintances, or that the “small” vibe is damning evidence of us not being a “real” city yet. Far from it—it’s a sign of a healthy and increasingly thriving city.

There’s a concept described as “sidewalk ballet” by the urbanist writer Jane Jacobs, which encompasses and values the repeated rhythms of a person’s lived experience. Sidewalk ballet is that neighbor who tends to water their flowers while you walk your dog; it’s the mail carrier, delivery person or bus driver who you come to recognize, it’s the children and families whose morning routes intersect with yours.

Looking at it from a higher level: it’s Twilight concerts or ice skating at Gallivan Plaza; it’s the 999 bike ride; it’s a burger at Lucky 13 or mole at Red Iguana; it’s the International Market or Craft Lake City at the state fairgrounds; it’s Pride, Days of ’47 and Pie N’ Beer; it’s bumper-to-bumper traffic at the Chick-fil-A drive-thru and the intense schadenfreude of walking (or biking) straight through it.

That feeling of “Small Lake City” is predicated on people being out and about in their city—enjoying it, exploring it, living in it and yes, occasionally, being deeply frustrated with it. And while variety is the spice of life, sidewalk ballet is the bread and butter.

Society and the media will always tend to focus on “kitchen table issues”—the big, hot topics you fight with your uncle about at Thanksgiving. That’s all well and good, but in Small Lake City there are no small topics, only small column spaces. CW

War Games

Local wargaming enthusiasts gather to celebrate the appeal of rolling dice and pushing models.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

On a snow-covered ca. 1942 battlefield, the Hungarian and U.S. armies meet. The troops—infantry, artillery, tanks— are positioned in trenches and in the cover of forests, each with an objective to break behind enemy lines. A few key factors will determine who emerges victorious: a measuring tape to determine the range of the weaponry. A laser pointer to assess whether someone has a clean shot. And quite a few rolls of the dice.

In an upstairs gallery at Sandy’s Gajo Games, Shawn Bridges (Hungary) and Todd Wilsted (U.S.) participate in a tournament of Flames of War, a tabletop historical war game involving 1/100 scale miniatures and set pieces representing terrain elements like hills, buildings and trees, in campaigns that typically take around two hours. They’re part of a thriving local community that regularly plays war games— some with a historical slant (like Flames of War), others more fantasy-based (like the mega-popular Warhammer games)—and will be filling two venues near Salt Lake International Airport for the Salt Lake Open, the first combined convention of fantasy and historical wargaming in the area in more than 30 years.

Shawn Bagley has been a wargaming enthusiast for decades, but became what he calls a “super-volunteer” for Warlord

Games after moving to Utah from California several years ago; “I retired and reinvented myself, and I get to talk about dice-rolling and army tanks,” Bagley says. After observing a local first-year fantasy wargaming convention that took place last year, Bagley approached that event’s organizer, Mario Capizzo, and the two decided to collaborate on a joint convention that would also include history-based games.

Getting started with these games requires an investment—not just of money, but of time. Bagley says that, depending on the game, starter kits can cost $125 - $300. Every soldier or piece of equipment you want for your battlefield requires the purchase of that item, which then needs painting to represent the uniforms of your chosen army, camouflage patterns and more. There are even players who improvise combinations of components from different kits, a process known as “kit-bashing.”

For many players, according to Bagley, “part of this hobby, maybe 30-35%, is the painting. You get to tap into that creative force within you. The gaming part, you’re going to get frustrated, because the dice can kill you. But darn, that tank looks cool.”

Painting figures was an entry point for Gajo Games’ owner, Craig Tyrrell, who began with an online business selling prepainted figures before opening his brickand-mortar store. According to Tyrrell, the in-person component of these games represents a huge part of their appeal. “It’s visual like the computer stuff, but you have to actually sit across a table from another actual human being, and talk to them,” he says. “I get that from parents all the time: This is so much better than just sitting in front of a console. … It keeps people socialized and talking to each other. And these days, there’s not enough of that.”

Bagley acknowledges that COVID had an impact on in-person gaming, which took a hit during the period when most such activities were shut down. “COVID hurt game stores; it was just unsafe,” Bagley says. “We had to rebuild the gaming com-

A&E

munity. [The Salt Lake Open] is part of that—a community-building effort.”

The members of that community can certainly get heavily invested—both financially and time-wise—into this hobby.

Todd Wilsted estimates that he’s spent “thousands of dollars” on game equipment over the approximately 20 years he’s been playing; Bridges counters with a laugh that “I’ve only been playing two years, and I’m already thousands [of dollars] in.” A lot of that has to do with the requirements for each individual game, as Flames of War has variations representing World War I, World War II, the Vietnam War and more, with players needing a different army for each game.

But for the players, it’s worth it for the fun involved—and for the creativity that isn’t necessarily married to historical reality. Bagley mentions a game at a tournament in Las Vegas, where the scenario involved a battle in a particular geographic location. “I brought a mountain so the guys would have to fight in the jungles of Burma in World War II,” Bagley says.

“One player had a Finnish army. Were the Finns in Burma? No, but players build their armies of passion. … He brought to a jungle fight [figures of] Finns on skis. It works, because that rifle on that skier is the same as the rifle on a U.S. Marine in the point system.”

That’s why even when any game can have its super-competitive players, it can be a lot more fun not to take it quite so seriously. After all, when it comes right down to it, the essence is two people across a table playing a game, not actual war—or, as Wilsted puts it, “It’s roll dice, push models.” CW

SALT LAKE OPEN GAMING CHAMPIONSHIPS

Doubletree by Hilton Salt Lake Airport (5151 Wiley Post Way)

General Distributing Company (5350 W. Amelia Earhart Dr.) Aug. 18 – 20

Dates and times vary utahwargaming.com

SCOTT RENSHAW

New World Shakespeare Company: Antony & Cleopatra

Many of the most celebrated works by William Shakespeare are known for their genderbending plots, in characters like Twelfth Night’s Viola and As You Like It’s Rosalind—and that’s leaving aside the Elizabethan theater tradition of men playing all roles regardless of gender. So it feels like a natural fit to take one of Shakespeare’s darker works and break out of the more traditional, binary-gendered casting.

New World Shakespeare takes just such an approach with Antony & Cleopatra, the 1607 Shakespeare play that delved into the complex relationship between Marc Antony, one of the triumvirs of the Roman Republic, and his lover Cleopatra. While the narrative of the play includes plenty of political maneuverings—including conflict between Antony and his fellow triumvir, Octavius—much of the focus is on the choices Antony makes as a result of his infatuation with Cleopatra, and the tragic consequences of a relationship other people believe is causing damage to the republic, including Cleopatra’s legendary suicide by the bite of an asp. According to producer/director Blayne Wiley, ““Our production is gender-fluid, power-fluid and time-fluid. We chose non-binary and unexpected casting to help to portray surprising and ever-changing power dynamics while telling a quasi-historical story.”

Antony & Cleopatra concludes its run at the Alliance Theater’s Sister Dottie S. Dixon Blackbox (602 E 500 South) Aug. 17 – 20, with performances 7:30 p.m. Thursday – Saturday, 2:30 p.m. Sunday. The production offers its support for Trans Lifeline (877-565-8660, translifeline.org) and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988). Tickets are $20, available at the door or via newworldshakespeare. com. (Scott Renshaw)

SB Dance Curbside Theater: Tarotville

Where many people in the arts community saw their “pandemic pivots” as something they were ready to let go as soon as conventional performances were available again, choreographer Stephen Brown saw an ongoing opportunity for new creativity. The pop-up performances of SB Dance’s Curbside Theater make use of a 40-square-foot portable stage, and Brown loves the constraints, as well as the unique settings provided by outdoor, mobile shows. “When I go to the theater, there is an almost bottomless foundation to look to of rules, models, ways of doing things,” Brown says. “When I do this, it feels like we are making this up as we go.”

That includes an audience-participation component for the new production for 2023, Tarotville, which was initially inspired by Brown’s desire to move 180 degrees from last year’s focus on love to a focus on death. “If you think about Death in a tarot way, or like Jungian philosophy, it’s the end of one thing and the beginning of another,” he says. “And it just took off from there. As I learned more about tarot, its roots, it’s about archetypes. And that’s what almost all art is about anyway.”

Tarotville’s summer season runs through Oct. 7, with performance dates including Aug. 18 (Woodbine Food Hall, 545 W. 700 South, 8:30 p.m.), Sept. 6 (Pierpont Garage Rooftop, 147 W. Pierpont Ave., 8 p.m.), Sept. 7 (Legacy Bridge, University of Utah, 8 p.m.) and Sept. 9 (Jordan River Nature Center, 1125 W. 3300 South, 8:30 p.m.). Most performances are free with donation requested; visit curbsidetheater.com for additional dates and information. (SR)

City Weekly Utah Beer Festival

As the Utah craft beer, cider and spirits industry grows— seemingly adding new vendors by the week—so too must the City Weekly Utah Beer Festival grow. For 2023, the 13th annual Beer Festival moves from its recent home at The Gateway to a new venue at The Granary Live, with more space for breweries from around the state (and the nation), entertainment, shady spots and more.

The centerpiece, of course, is the collection of beverages, and its truly impressive: More than 60 breweries, including 25 Utah breweries, offering sample sizes of more than 250 individual craft creations to sample, with newcomers like South Salt Lake’s Chappell Brewing and Logan’s Prodigy Brewing. Music headliners will take the stage each day, including Dead Zephyrs, Soul Maloney, Makisi and Magda-Vega, with additional entertainment coming in the form of Drag Bingo, mini-golf and bar trivia competitions daily hosted by Questionable SLC. Bike Like City provides bike valet services for attendees, and the venue is accessible just four blocks from the 900 South Blue Line Trax station for those who would prefer not to get behind the wheel.

The 2023 City Weekly Utah Beer Festival runs Aug. 18 – 19 at The Granary Live (742 S. 500 West), 2 p.m. – 8 p.m. daily. Per-day tickets are $15 per day for entryonly/designated driver, $30 general admission (including 10 beverage punches), $35 for early beer drinkers (1 p.m. admission) and $75 VIP; full weekend tickets are also available. Refill punches will also be available onsite. Visit utahbeerfestival. com for tickets and additional event information. (SR)

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the Beer Issue

Each year, before penning the intro to the annual City Weekly Beer Issue, I take a minute to read through previous editions and refresh my memory of where we’ve been in an attempt to better understand where we’re at and where we’re headed. In the context of that exercise, 2023 is looking pretty good.

In 2021—my first year as news editor—I remarked on the Utah Beer Festival returning after a two-year COVID-imposed hiatus. And in 2022, I opened with the record-breaking heat and aridity that Utahns were suffering through on the long, slow march to winter.

This year, the heat is still turned up to 11 but so is the water—there might even be some lingering snow left in our alpine peaks if the shocking monsoon rains of the past couple weeks didn’t wipe it out for good. In 2022, we drank to survive, but now we can get back to drinking for leisure—like a rising tide, higher groundwater lifts all ships.

There’s good news from our friends in the beverage industry as well. New leadership and direction at the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverages Services (née “Control”) has proprietors feeling cautiously optimistic about their government partners. And the local market is increasingly diversifying with new breweries and taprooms in new parts of the state, offering fertile ground for experimentation, collaboration and innovation, plus some great places to just throw back a cold one.

Here at City Weekly, we’re gearing up for the 13th anniversary of the Utah Beer Festival—our state’s premiere event for those who imbibe—and at the risk of jinxing myself, 13 is looking to be a luckynumber year. With the festival’s new location at Granary Live, this year’s event will spread out on both sides of 500 West, offering big-

ger and better space for the more than 60 breweries sampling more than 250 different types of beer, cider and seltzer, plus live music, trivia and other entertainment and vendors across two days of partying in the Granary District.

After so much, seemingly endless upheaval, we’re all due for a lucky-number year. So here’s to you, dear reader; may this issue find you well-hydrated, well-rested and with a glass that is always half-full (if not, we’ll get you refilled lickity-split).

—Benjamin Wood Superintendent of sipping

Highlights of the Beer Year

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

We’ve seen some changes in Utah’s craft beer scene in the year since City Weekly’s 2022 Beer Issue. New breweries have opened, some have closed and one was resurrected. It’s been an interesting year to say the least, in a city with strong craft beer roots.

Below, I break down the latest developments around brewing in the Beehive State.

The Best Helper Ever

Salt Lake City is the primary hub of activity in regard to Utah’s local craft beer scene—with a dozen breweries and brewpubs in the city alone. But the enthusiasm for it all isn’t limited to within the boundaries of the Wasatch Front.

Rural communities from across the state are discovering the social and economic benefits of having a craft beer purveyor in the area. Helper Beer is the latest such brewery to open up in a region that has been craving local suds for quite some time now.

Jaron Anderson—Helper Beer’s owner and head brewer—has spent the past 16 years honing his craft. After learning under the tutelage of Kevin Templin at Red Rock Brewery, then later at the Templin Family [TF] Brewing, his dream could finally become a reality.

“I learned everything I know about brewing from Kevin Templin,” Anderson said. “I owe him everything because of that.”

Templin had built a strong reputation nationally and here in Utah, known for his flavorful and meticulous techniques. Anderson knew his experience would get Helper Beer started on the right foot.

“When I started at TF, I had already decided that I was going to start my own brewery, so I approached the work differently,” Anderson said. “I wasn’t just clocking in to make beer. I took it upon myself to learn about the business of brewing and get familiar with the lesserknown processes that I hadn’t experienced before.”

Not all bosses are keen on helping employees start up a competing business. So, how did that work out, I asked? “Kevin always knew that I was planning on starting my own place, and he did a lot to help prepare me,” Anderson said. “But it was hard to leave after working with a good friend for so long.”

Many people are familiar with the town of Helper, but few have spent time there. For most, it’s a town you drive through on Highway 6 while heading to and from Moab. It has a charming and historic Main Street that celebrates its rich mining and railroad history.

“Two of my friends moved out here and, after visiting them over the course of five years, we just fell in love with the town,” Anderson said. “During the big solar eclipse of 2017, we had a quasi-religious experience while we were here in Helper. That’s when my wife and I actually committed to doing it.”

In Utah, there’s no shortage of communities that shun adult beverages, let alone manufacturers. So, was the Helper community open to having having a brewery in its midst? “The city has been 100% on our side the whole time we started this,” Anderson exclaimed. “Every time we’ve needed something, they’ve worked with us to help us get it done. We even got them to modify an ancient city liquor ordinance to align more with the state’s code so we could get the brewery going.”

Location, location, location! That mantra is beaten into anyone considering opening up a business. The best building on the wrong property could be disastrous. None of that was lost on the Helper Beer team.

“At the time we were thinking of moving here, the town was all boarded up—revitalization was just starting to happen, and we thought this might be the right time to make our move,” Anderson said. “We looked at a lot of the older buildings in downtown Helper that were really cool but just too cost prohibitive to renovate into what we needed. Then we found an old antique store just off the freeway that was perfect for our needs. It was available, and we bought it.”

The brewery, with its white facade and desert-themed exterior, is small enough to maintain a pub feel, but big enough to brew up beer for the locals and for travelers who are just passing through.

“We have a 10-barrel brew house and six 10-barrel fermenters—two of those are horizontal lagering tanks,” Anderson said.

You might think there’d be a limited selection from a brewpub in a small town, but the Helper taps are fat with a dozen beers. “We have 11 beers on draft right now, with a West Coast IPA called Circle Back in cans [at 7% ABV] with a hazy IPA on the way soon,” Anderson said. People’s tastes in beer vary from house to house, and those variations can get broader when you go from community to community. So, what do the people of Castle Country prefer?

“The people in Helper seem to like dark beer, so we keep a nitro stout on tap. But, you also have your Bud and Coors drinkers, so I created what is probably our flagship beer, an American light lager called Helper Beer,” Anderson said. “It’s quite delicious and crushable. Then again, they love the weisse-bier and the pale ale, too, so I’d say the tastes here are about the same as they are in Salt Lake.”

More Helper beer will be making its way around the state. The brewery’s ability to can beers has already been established, and, soon, you may see some of their brews in DABS stores. For now, Helper Beer, along with its pizza oven, will continue to offer world-class beers in a not-too-stuffy manner.

“People tend to over-intellectualize craft beer sometimes, and that’s fine by me,” Anderson said. “I’m all about combining the art and science of it all—it’s a way to express my creative side without overthinking it.”

159 N. Main St., Helper 435-472-2337 helperbeer.com

The Beer Nerd looks at new and notable developments in Utah brewing.

Helper Beer owner and brewer Jaron Anderson

of the Beer Year

Continued from p.18

Epic Focusing on Utah

Back in 2009, something unusual happened that changed the course of Utah’s beer industry forever. A new state ordinance was added to the books that allowed beer manufacturers to sell “high point” beer (beer above 4% alcohol by volume, or ABV) directly from breweries, in what is called a Class 5 package agency. This gave breweries the ability to operate as agents of the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Services (DABS).

Right out of the gate, Epic Brewing Co. seized on the opportunity to test these new waters with a brewery concept that hadn’t been tried before in Utah: to make only high-point beer and sell it directly to consumers on premises. Their model was successful, and the Utah-born suds gained acclaim and praise within and outside of Utah. It was time for a second brewery to keep up with demand.

“We looked to Utah to build a second brewery, but the political situation at the time wouldn’t have offered us the opportunity to grow as we’d like,” said Dave Cole, co-founder of Epic Brewing. “We also looked at California and other places, and then Denver came up.”

There’s a misconception that Epic was relocating their headquarters to Denver because the Colorado capital city is a beer-friendly town, and the brewery was much larger than the one in Salt lake City. Cole insists that this was not the case. “Salt Lake has always been the base of operations,” he said. “Denver offered us a lot of opportunities to expand our production and distribution, but our home has always been Salt Lake.”

In 2013, Denver had—and still has—a very saturated beer market. There are more breweries in that one town than there is in all of Utah combined. Moving there couldn’t have been an easy business plan.

“We looked at downtown Denver, and couldn’t find what we needed real estate-wise,” Cole said. “But this brewery had just opened-up in an old part of Denver called River North [RiNo] and we saw that as a new, upand-coming area that would fit our needs.”

The gamble that Cole and his partner, Peter Erickson, took paid off, and RiNo became the new hot spot in town. “The brewery was doing great; the taproom was full. More breweries moved into the area,” Cole said.

“We were happy with our choice, to say the least.”

The Salt Lake and Denver breweries flourished for much of the 2010s. “At our peak, I’d say we were in close to 30 states, Japan and parts of Europe,” Cole said. “We could do 30,000 to 35,000 barrels a year out of there. We never reached that, but it gave us the ability to increase our distribution network.”

Then the pandemic hit. And like every other business in the world, Epic took the hit.

“We noticed draft beer sales were starting to slow before the pandemic. Then it hit, and it magnified all of those issues dramatically,” Cole said. “At that time, kegged beer was more than 50% of our sales from both Utah and Colorado—with the majority of draft beer coming out of Denver. The pandemic just turned those spigots off, and nobody was buying kegs anymore.”

As businesses slowly began to reopen, there was a visible change in the beer markets. “When distributors started opening back up, and they weren’t buying

many kegs, we started to see the writing on the wall,” Cole said. “We made the decision early last year [2022] that it was probably time to get out of Denver. The bright side for us in all of this was that real estate value in that area was really high, and we had a few interested parties looking at the property.”

Epic’s final days brewing in Denver came about earlier this year, though the brewery still has a distribution presence in the Colorado market. “Peter and I are pretty dedicated to Epic,” Cole said. “When we had a lot of success, we didn’t do too many crazy things and didn’t overextend ourselves like many breweries did. So all in all, we’re still in a very good position.”

That’s great news for a local business to share after coming out of the pandemic, but now there’s the present and the future to deal with.

“We’re still making great beer—our Chasing Ghosts IPA is doing phenomenally—but we’re keeping our eyes on the markets to see if the competitive landscape will continue to be less competitive or not. It’s going to take time, but we’re here for the long haul,” he

Though Epic can still be found in a few states besides Utah, Cole says the Beehive State is its priority. “We’re working on some cool new products for Utah that will be designed for our market,” he said. “Utah is our focus. This is our home, and our priority. That will include enhancing our brewery on State Street to make it a better experience for our customers.”

With new, old and classic offerings to take Epic into the future, the brewing company’s outlook is strong. “Our Peach Cream Ale is doing phenomenally, along with our new Double Cross Ale—and our Big Bad Baptist series will be moving to cans this year for the first time,” Cole said. “Now it’s all about concentrating on the things that are working while imagining new and interesting stuff for the near future.”

Epic Brewing co-founder and co-owner Dave Cole

Continued from p.20

Jason Stock’s Excellent Adventure

Prepare yourselves for a tale of rebirth and corporate chaos as Jason Stock, head brewer for Squatters/SaltLake Brewing Co., walks us through the history and process of turning his once local brewpub back into a local brewpub.

In June 2000, Stock began his decades-long career at Salt Lake City’s oldest craft brewpub: Squatters.

“When I started here 23 years ago, the craft beer scene was so much different,” Stock said. “We were making a classic style of 4% beer only and winning a lot of awards under head brewer Jenny Talley. It was a lot of fun, and I was just happy to be making beer in the background.”

Then, in 2009, something changed in Stock’s personal and professional life, when a life-changing beer came into his life: “Oh God,” he said, “the Hop Rising thing came about.”

Hop Rising is a double IPA that, over the years, has become the state’s highest-selling craft beer in state liquor stores. The label prominently features Stock as a hop farmer with his lengthy trademark beard along with a massive hop cone stuck on a pitch fork.

“I’m a little awkward talking about it,” Stock said. “It was a little weird to be thrust into this bit of local celebrity. I’ve never looked for that kind of attention.”

Not only was Stock’s image on bottles and cans but also on banners and billboards across multiple states. “It was so strange,” Stock reflects. “I was at the grocery store with my kids one day, and someone squealed to see the ‘Hop Rising guy.’ Sadly, it’s mostly middle-aged men.”

Fame aside—Stock’s mentor, Jenny Talley, had moved on to further her career elsewhere, and Stock was tapped to be the new head brewer.

“It was weird, but it also opened up a lot of cool opportunities for me,” he said. “We continued with some of the special beers like 5th Element and Outer Darkness, but as some of the brands began to find an audience, they would find their way out of my hands to be produced at the Utah Brewers Cooperative.”

The Brewers Cooperative—or UBC, as it was known— brews on a much larger scale than Stock’s comparatively tiny 10-barrel brewhouse. A few years later, more change was coming.

In 2012, Fireman Capital Partners, a Boston-based private equity firm, acquired a majority stake in the Utah Brewers Cooperative, a move that would change the direction of Squatters for years to come.

“This was the beginning of major changes in many aspects of my work life and the direction of some of the beers,” Stock said.

Now, you may or may not know this, but Salt Lake Brewing Co. has always been the official name (on paper) of the brewpub known as Squatters. It’s been prominently displayed over the doors since the brewpub opened in 1989.

When the Utah Brewers Cooperative—a Wasatch and Squatters partnership—was acquired by Fireman Capital, it was the beginning of a rollercoaster of acquisitions that kept Squatters and Wasatch bouncing around for a solid decade. Fireman Capital later acquired five other breweries and created a brewing collective known as CANarchy that included such craft breweries as Cigar City and Oskar Blues. Then, early in 2022, Monster Beverage (makers of Monster Energy drinks) reached an

the Beer Year

agreement to acquire CANarchy, which would become the arm of their new craft beer and hard seltzer division.

Stay with me, because here is where it gets good. In purchasing CANarchy, Monster acquired many restaurants and brewpubs that they really had no interest in owning. Monster had no desire to be in the retail food business and didn’t have much need for the small brew houses attached to them. So, they slowly began selling them off.

First to go was the restaurants. Locally, all of the pubs that bear the names Squatters and Wasatch were reacquired by their original owners: Peter Cole, Jeff Polychronis and Greg Schirf.

I should note that these gentlemen have always owned the business properties and the buildings they’re in. The only things sold in the earliest stages of these buyouts from the above-mentioned owners were the branding and brewing equipment.

So when Monster was ready to sell the brewing equipment that was already inside of the Squatters pub in downtown SLC, nothing really changed but the ownership on paper. Monster still owns the names “Squatters” and “Wasatch,” along with some of the branding.

Today, when you go to Squatters Brewpub in Salt Lake, you’re technically not going to Squatters. You are visiting Salt Lake Brewing Co. Yes, everything insideand-out screams Squatters—however, you’ll notice that the beer brewed in-house is made by Salt Lake Brewing. You will also find some draft and cans of Squatters beers as well, but those are made by Monster Beverage at what was formerly the Utah Brewers Cooperative.

“I’m literally entwined with this building,” Stock chuckled. “There’s a mural of my face on the side of

this building that I didn’t ask for, but my likeness is still there along with some of the cans and bottles you may have seen over the years”.

So after a decade of moving around, never leaving the building he’s always worked in, Stock finds himself back where it all started.

“We’re doing our best to differentiate the new beers from the old,” Stock said. “My entire brewing career has been here at this brewpub—it’s been fun coming up with a whole new lineup of beers that are all my own.”

One of those new beers is Stock’s European Vacation, inspired by a recent trip Stock and his wife took to the Czech Republic. The Old World pilsner is something new that his pub has rarely seen.

“Our pals at Strap Tank Brewing happened to have some of the Pilsner Urquell yeast on hand and were happy to share,” Stock said. “I had the good Bohemian malt and Saaz hops on hand, a lot of inspiration, and I went for it. I think this one might become a new house beer.”

And this story isn’t even close to being over. The Wasatch brewery—just the brewhouse, not the restaurant—at the top of Main Street in Park City is still owned by Monster, for now. That may or may not change in the coming months or years.

There’s an entire team up there that may find itself in the same situation. For now, Jason Stock is still making fresh, local beers for his newly acquired, old company, at the same address he’s always been at, and he couldn’t be happier about it. CW

147 W. 300 South, SLC, 801-363-2739,

Salt Lake Brewing Co. head brewer Jason Stock

How to Beer Fest

New location, new brews, same party

BY BENJAMIN WOOD | bwood@cityweekly.net

Come one, come all, to the Utah Beer Festival! Running Aug. 19-20 from 2 p.m.-8 p.m. at Granary Live, Utah’s best and booziest party is going supersize for its 13th year, straddling two city blocks in one of Salt Lake City’s hottest up-and-coming neighborhoods. Here’s everything you need to know in order to make the most of your wet weekend.

Get Your Passport

Find tickets to the Utah Beer Festival online at utahbeerfestival.com or at the door for day-of prices. Weekend passes and single-day entrance are available, with guests able to pre-purchase their drinking passports or refill their punch passes on the premises.

Whether drinking or not, the event is restricted to guests who are age 21 or older. Beer festival passports are required for sampling, and no package sales of alcohol are permitted.

Doors open at 1 p.m. each day for VIP and Early Beer ticket holders, and at 2 p.m. for general admission. The event ends at 8 p.m. both days.

Get to the Venue

Granary Live is located at 742 S. 500 West. Transit is a convenient option, with the Trax Red, Blue and Green lines stopping less than 1 mile away on 200 West between 800 South and 900 South. The regional FrontRunner train also stops within 1 mile of Granary Live at Salt Lake Central Station. Free bike valet service (tips appreciated) will also be available near the Utah Beer Festival entrance on 500 West. Both 700 South and 800 South are striped with cycling lanes, while the 9-Line multi-use trail is located two blocks south of the event on 900 South.

For those who choose to drive, street and garage parking is available in the surrounding Granary District and adjacent neighborhoods, but 500 West will be blocked off from direct vehicle access and guests are reminded to travel responsibly. The area is also close to downtown and served by Uber, Lyft and other ride-hailing services.

Get Drinkin’

The 2023 Utah Beer Festival will feature more than 250 different beers, ciders and seltzers from more than 60 breweries, with non-alcoholic beverages also availalbe. More than two dozen Utah brewers will be participating, representing roughly three-fourths of the local beer industry. Among the first-time participants are Utah’s Chappell Brewing, Prodigy Brewing and Helper Brewing, as well as Colorado’s Left Hand Brewing and Montana’s Kettlehouse Brewing.

Get Dancin’

Granary Live’s concert stage will host several live performances during the festival, with music from the Dead Zephyrs and Soul Maloney on Saturday and Makisi and Magda-Vega on Sunday. Other entertainment includes daily trivia, as well as drag bingo and mini golf hosted by the American Cancer Society. CW

New to Beer? Have No Fear!

Find your seat at the bar with this rookie’s beer bible.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

Genesis:I had my first beer after I had my first kid. Not that the lat ter caused the former in any way—my daughter is and has always been a delightful little soul, and I really like being a dad.

In fact, the only reason I compare the two events is to set the stage for the exploration of beer and other alcoholic beverages that I’ve been on for the past few years. I didn’t have the cocksure experience of adolescence or young adulthood on my side when I started drinking. Instead, I was a 30-something new dad explor ing a world that had been expressly verboten for most of my life. Oh, and did I mention that I grew up Mormon?

Once I successfully organized all that emotional bag gage, however, I realized that Utah is actually a pretty amazing state to start one’s late-stage beer exploration. I had the advantage of putting my Word of Wisdom days behind me while I was scratching the surface of Utah’s dining scene as a food writer for the fine publication you hold in your hands.

This gave me an inside track to where I could find the good stuff—the wisdom of age led me down all the right paths, and I had the advantage of cutting my teeth on some of the finest craft brewers in town. I suppose I owe a lot of that to the City Weekly

I was volunteering at City Weekly at a Beer Fest a few years back when I decided to launch my own beer odyssey—not a bad place to start if any of you readers are in a similar situation. I bought a roll of tickets and worked my way around the various vendor booths to determine what I liked and what I didn’t like.

My years of writing about restaurants had honed my palate and there was a point when I realized that sniffing out a good beer is comparable to sniffing out a good empanada—I just had to maintain an open mind and listen to my gut.

The details of this experience are a bit fuzzy for obvious reasons, but I came away from that event with new and seemingly forbidden knowledge. I had grown up thinking that beer would put me on a debauched trajectory straight into the arms of Lucifer himself. Instead, I realized that I was on the precipice of something rare and beautiful. Here I was, a dude in his mid-30s who was too lame to see beer as a party supplement, stumbling upon a new frontier of flavors, textures and colors.

It’s like giving a Seattle grunge historian who had somehow overlooked Nirvana the opportunity to hear Kurt Cobain’s sandpaper vocals as he rips through “Smells Like Teen Spirit” for the first time.

Since that point, drinking beer has been more educational than anything—I’m a food writer first and foremost, so the opportunity to try flavor combos that I’ve

never tried before is irresistible. I am by no means an expert on beer—I leave that to my fellow City Weekly columnist Mike Riedel.

But, I have picked up a few pointers for new beer drinkers on my own journey and I’m happy to share them with anyone who is curious.

“The more you learn about beer, the more you can pick out what you like,” she said as we took our places at Proper’s bar for some samples. “Saying you don’t like beer is a lot like saying you don’t like soup—which doesn’t make any sense when you think about it.”

At the bar, Cardaccio ordered up five samples that she considered to be good places for a new beer drinker to start at. I’m happy to say that I was familiar with most of them—my beer odyssey has brought me to Proper Brewing Co. on more than one occasion.

We started with SLC Pils, a mild pilsner that borrows its title from the legendary 1998 indie film SLC Punk!—the blue-mohawked silhouette of Matthew Lillard’s “Stevo” Levy is even featured on the can. Cardaccio suggests this beer for newbies because pilsners are traditionally on the mild side with less intensity on the hop end.

“Any time you are new to beer, you will want to go with something lighter because it won’t be overwhelming and you won’t have any trouble discerning flavors,” Cardaccio says.

This is definitely a good call. Not only is the SLC Pils forgiving on a new palate, but there is something poetic about a new Utah beer drinker kicking things off with a frustrated counterculture icon like Stevo.

Next up on our flight is the Do Less West Coast India Pale Ale—which you can call an IPA since you’re one of the cool kids now. Cardaccio is quick to note that the term “West Coast” simply refers to the locale where the ingredients and recipe inspiration came from. West Coast hops, for example, lean into a more bitter, resinforward flavor profile.

“IPAs are among the most controversial for new beer drinkers—especially for women,” Cardaccio said, before explaining how our hunter/gatherer evolution hardwired women to be a bit more averse to bitter flavors. “As a new beer drinker, the bitterness can cause a lot of people to shy away from IPAs, but you can learn to appreciate the flavor.”

Exodus:

My transformative experience at the City Weekly Beer Fest took place around five years ago, and since then, I’ve maintained an enthusiastic interest in what our local craft brewers are up to. I’ve gone on brewery tours to see how beer goes from mash to tap, and I’ve taken every opportunity I could to bring home a six-pack of something new.

I feel like I’ve got a decent foundation built, but I know my experience and vocabulary is a bit lacking when it comes to discussing beer with those a bit greener to the world of hops, barley and fermentation—which is why I reached out to an expert.

Rebecca Cardaccio, sales director at Proper Brewing Co. (857 S. Main, SLC, 801-953-1707, properbrewingco. com), is one of only two women in Utah to get her Cicerone Certification—which means she knows her shit when it comes to beer.

We met up at Proper Brewing Co. for a tour of their downtown Salt Lake brewery on Main Street and a chat about good entry points for new beer drinkers. Cardaccio’s confidence when chatting about Proper’s operation is effortless, and her enthusiasm for Proper’s roster of beer is as frothy and bubbly as the brewing process itself.

A fruity contrast to the West Coast IPA is the Yacht Rock Juice Box. Though it’s more hoppy than the Do Less, the bitterness isn’t as stark.

Somewhere during this conversation, Cardaccio filled me in on what an IBU—or international bitterness unit—is. You’ll see this number on craft beer every now and again, and it’s a snapshot of how bitter a beer will be. It’s a measurement of the isohumulone levels imparted by the hops in a given beer. So our Do Less sits at 32 IBUs while Yacht Rock has 0 IBUs.

Drinking the Do Less and the Yacht Rock side by side clued me in to the dangers of getting a one-track mind about beer drinking. When you try a type of beer that rubs you the wrong way, it’s easy to write off a whole sub-spectrum of beer that might have one or two offerings you could totally dig.

For example, I personally am not the biggest fan of bitterness in my beer, so it was easy for me to say that I didn’t really dig IPAs. But the Yacht Rock Juice Box has become one of my favorite summer beers, and I would have missed it completely had I not tried other varieties as part of this little experiment.

From here, Cardaccio suggested Proper’s Brunch Beer, a wheat ale made with grapefruit puree. Cardaccio

MICHAEL EASTHOPE

Certified cicerone Rebecca Cardaccio of Proper Brewing

Continued from p.26

explains that the wheat content makes for a sweeter beer while the addition of grapefruit imparts a nice citrusy highlight.

“How you use fruits and other ingredients can have an interesting effect on the base flavors,” Cardaccio says. “A lot of the time, extracts are used in beer which can lead to them being too sweet. When you add fruit to the fermentation process, the yeast just eats the sugar in the fruit, so you’re left with a lot of flavor without a lot of sweetness.”

Though the Brunch Beer is a bit sweeter because of the wheat, the grapefruit notes come through more crisply and clearly. Definitely something to enjoy with a plate of stuffed French toast or eggs Benedict.

The final beer in our flight was Lake Effect, a Gose ale made with coriander and salt. It’s one of Proper’s most notable contributions to the local craft beer scene, and it’s a great option for those people who like jumping straight into the deep end to start their beerdrinking journey.

“The Gose ale is an old style that has become more popular,” Cardaccio says. “It was originally brewed in Leipzig, Germany, and the river where they got their water had a higher salt content, which is what we’ve re-created here.”

Based on our own local history with salty bodies of water, it makes sense to sample a Gose ale produced locally. Whether it will trick your trigger as a new beer drinker is a call only you can make, but I can see the benefits of starting a beer journey here.

“If you’re new to drinking, try a lot of different styles and don’t let opinions or marketing throw you off track,” Cardaccio suggested. “If you go to any brewery in Utah, the bartenders want to talk to you. They spend a lot of time learning about beer and like talking about it. Just go in, don’t be scared, and ask for recommendations.”

Numbers:

To wrap up, I’d like to share a few of the beers that got me off to a good start. Again, we’re pretty lucky to have so many great craft breweries in our backyard, so feel free to start here and don’t be afraid to do a bit of digging on your own.

Blackberry Sour

This was the first six-pack of beer I bought, and I mainly did it because I wrote about a pinball championship tournament that was hosted by Kiitos Brewing and recognized the brand. Something about the blackberry in the title made me think this would be an accessible beer, and it turns out I was right.

I had tried kombucha before and thought this beer shared some similarities with the booch, but I appreciated the fact that it was not kombucha. It’s a pretty smooth drink, and the blackberry flavor goes well with the overall sourness.

Kiitos Brewing, 608 W. 700 South, SLC kiitosbrewing.com

1841 Viennese Amber Lager

I had always imagined what good beer would taste like, and this was the first beer that fit that bill. It’s an easy drink with a fluffy head, but the kicker comes on the back end when the flavor of a nice, crisp pretzel hits your tastebuds.

This beer does the trick for me pretty consistently, but if you can manage, snag a pint of this while dining on some pierogi and brats at the brewery itself.

Bohemian Brewery, 94 E. 7200 South, Midvale bohemianbrewery.com

Flathead American Lager

While visiting Strap Tank Brewery with a friend, we ordered a few beers before our food arrived. Not really knowing what I was doing, I went with the Flathead because it sounded cool when I ordered it. When it arrived, and I took my first sip, I had to pause mid-conversation to reflect.

This was the first time I had felt refreshed by a beer—like I wasn’t fighting it to quench my thirst. I suppose that came from its overall low intensity and accessibility, or simply because it was so cold when it came out of the tap that I couldn’t help but be impressed.

Strap Tank Brewery, with locations in Lehi and Springville straptankbrewery.com

Lime Pilsner

Admittedly, I first tried this local pilsner at this year’s Utah Arts Festival when the heat had reached its apex. Upon downing my first one out of the sheer need for refreshment, I snagged another for a more introspective drink.

The subtle lime flavor blends with the peak of this pilsner’s maltiness, and it reaches a point where the beer absolutely sings— especially on a hot day. I’ve had this one many times since and would definitely recommend it to someone who had started with the Kiitos Blackberry Sour.

Uinta Brewing Co., 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC uintabrewing.com

Revelations:

Those of us who have grown up in Utah often have limited experience tasting or appreciating alcohol. The most important lesson I’ve learned is to just stick to your guns. You’re not going to like everything you try, but don’t let that turn you off—and especially don’t let what other people think you should like sway your direction.

Just like creating beer, exploring beer is all about experimentation. If you maintain an open mind, Utah is a great place for new beer drinkers to play around. CW

Blackberry Sour 1841 Viennese Amber Lager Flathead American Lager Lime Pilsner

Gently Brewed

HK Brewing’s kombucha offers a low-stress, low-sugar option for drinkers and non-drinkers alike.

BY BIANCA DUMAS comments@cityweekly.net

Nestled at the edge of two neighborhoods in transition—the Ballpark and the Granary— and tucked between 300 West and Interstate 15, HK Brewing Collective is offering up everything you want in a taproom, and maybe a few things you didn’t know you wanted yet.

Like a lot of breweries, HK Brewing Collective is in a warehouse. You’ve got your bar, your high-top tables, your roll-up garage door wall and your conversation pit (that’s where the luxurious couch and a few really comfortable armchairs are waiting). If it feels a little warmer than most taprooms, that’s because a rosy glow is coming off walls where cinderblock mimics adobe, and a mellow southwest vibe expertly offsets the exposed HVAC and electrical conduit.

The collective is just around the corner from the Bouldering Project, adding to the number of great after-climbing hangouts in the area. They offer local craft beer and wine and some of the city’s best small bites, such as Creminelli meats and cheeses from Caputo’s and empanadas from Tina’s Bakery.

But when it comes to craft cocktails, HK Brewing Collective is offering something really special. Their drinks are made with local spirits and a very local kind of mixer—so local, you can see it being made in the back of the house.

That special ingredient is Han’s Kombucha, made on the premises in stainless steel vessels of up to 200 gallons. Kombucha starts with China black or green tea, cane sugar and a scobi, which is the fer-

menting agent that functions much like brewer’s yeast in beer.

After fermentation, the product is transferred to the same kind of bright tanks that beer brewers use to carbonate and chill their products, and then it goes to a can filler—Wild Goose—for packaging.

The end product is a sparkling stunner. Han’s Kombucha is sold in cans in 135 locations in six states, and about six varieties are always on tap at the bar, plus two local beers. Guests can drink their “booch” straight up, have a tasting flight or have it added to various cocktail offerings.

The star of the bar menu might be the Booch Mule. It’s made with local gin, lime, ginger and mint, and is swimming in a base of Ginger Hibiscus kombucha. Another option, the Rosemary’s Grapefruit, is served in a highball glass and is made with local bourbon, grapefruit, lemon, Averna (Italian bitters) and smoked Maldon salt in a base of Grapefruit Rosemary kombucha.

The drinks are light, flavorful and lightly carbonated. The kombucha base assures that they’re not overly sweet like some drinks mixed with soda, and it allows botanicals and fruit to shine through.

While one of the famous big-market brands contains 15 to 25 grams of sugar per serving, a serving of Han’s Kombucha only has 4 to 7 grams. This makes it healthier and lower in calories than a lot of commercial beverages and mixers, but the low sugar is also a crucial aspect of HK’s brewing process.

Brewmaster Hannah Hendrickson explains that kombucha with less sugar is fermented for a shorter period of time, which keeps it mellow and prevents it from developing a vinegary bite. This led Hendrickson and business partner Kate Lubing to coin the phrase “gently fermented” when talking about their distinct brewing process.

Like most in the brewing industry, Hendrickson began by making her own product at home—or in this case, in her dorm room closet.

It was so good that she began selling it at farmers’ markets and in local shops. Then she met Lubing, who was working as a restaurant consultant at Emigration Brewing.

“We yin’d and yang’d quite perfectly,” Lubing says of the initial meeting.

The champion of the lineup is the Cheers Queers, formulated as a seasonal offering for June. The soft, peach champagne taste was so popular that fans

demanded it stay on the menu year-round.

But soft isn’t all there is to this kombucha. Hendrickson likes to push limits as well. A shot of Blueberry Pie—designed for Utah’s Pie N Beer Day— comes with a sour, fruity bang. Depending on the season, other pours might include Pineapple Cactus Nectar, Raspberry Rose, Beet Lemonade and the beautifully labeled El Tigre—a blood orange and cardamom wonder.

“My favorite is the Ginger Hibiscus,” Hendrickson said while standing on a set of stairs near the top of a tank where 20-pound teabags are settled in for steeping.

Like beer brewers, Hendrickson created her version of a seasonal “land beer,” or a land booch, this year—Apricot Thyme—by sourcing locally harvested apricots through Green Urban Lunchbox. While all their kombucha is currently non-alcoholic, HK Brewing Collective has a goal of producing a hard kombucha in the future, as soon as the state gets on board with licensing.

HK Brewing Collective is also a community gathering place with a full activities calendar. Regular yoga, bingo, DJs and drag events are on offer alongside popups like a rolling VW photo booth and a mobile hat shop.

The space is available for private events. It’s also a place for adult non-drinkers to chill with friends.

“We took advantage of an opportunity to have a space where those who don’t drink are also going to have a good time,” Lubing said. “A lot of people who are sober choose not to go out because they feel uncomfortable. But we also make craft mocktails, so we have something for everybody 21 and up to enjoy.”

If you want to learn to brew your own kombucha, bring in a one-gallon jar from The Beer Nut and the generous brewers will give you a piece of their scobi to take home, so you can start making kombucha in your own closet. But when you need to take a refreshing break, come on over. As they say on the cans, it’s Darn Good Booch. CW

HK Brewing Collective Taproom & Bar

370 W. Aspen Ave., SLC 385-227-8240 hkbrewing.com

COURTESY PHOTOS

COURTESY PHOTO

COURTESY PHOTO

Kombucha adds a light, fruity touch to mixed drinks without the sweetness of soda.

Non-alcoholic Han’s Kombucha is made on-site and poured on tap.

HK Brewing’s taproom pours wine, local beers and “booch” cocktails.

Destination Brewings

Craft breweries worth the pit stop on your next roadtrip around Utah.

BY AIMEE L. COOK | comments@cityweekly.net

Craft beer is a staple of the drinking scene, with local breweries popping up all over the country. Some imbibers prefer the taste and uniqueness of a locally brewed batch over larger, commercial brands, while others appreciate and wish to support locals pouring their heart and soul into the creation of craft beverages.

Around Utah, local breweries take pride in crafting their brews, making them a true labor of love. So let’s hit the road and toss back a pint, shall we?

Ogden Beer Co.

The Ogden Beer Co. was established in January 2023 after Ogden River Brewing closed down, presenting an opportunity for Lane Montoya and Brian Zinsmann—owners of nearby taco restaurant Wimpy and Fritz—to acquire the property.

Prior to joining Ogden Beer Co., head brewmaster Jacquie King spent nine years at Roosters Brewing as head of research and development. And prior to Roosters, King was an avid home brewer who improved her skill set by taking classes.

“This is the closest I will ever get to starting my own brewery, getting in at the ground level with a new brand, new owners and a totally new concept,” King said. “Doing research and development for so long, I have a really clear idea of what I think would be successful in a brewery and what I think people want as far as beer styles in a lineup. So far, my theory is working.”

In July, the company introduced its beer into distribution, with its three top-selling varieties: a true Mexican lager, an IPA and the unique Hibiscus Haole, a hibiscus wheat ale. The plan is to keep the portfolio small so that they can maintain production as well as drinkability.

358 Park Blvd., Ogden

801-658-3045

ogdenbeercompany.com

Roosters Brewing Co.

When it comes to crafting beer, it’s crucial to prioritize the quality of ingredients. Roosters Brewing is dedicated to producing clean and palatable products that a wide range of customers can enjoy.

A top-selling beer is the easy-drinking Honey Wheat. For those seeking a stronger option, Roosters has the Niner Bock, a Dopplebock with 9% alcohol by volume (ABV). The word “bock” originates from German and denotes a goat, symbolizing strength. As the name suggests, the Niner Bock boasts twice the strength of a typical Bock beer.

Roosters prides itself on providing a variety of offerings. There are six flagship beers available year-round with six rotating season brews.

“I don’t know if we create a product that is unique, but it is definitely exemplary for what the craft is trying to achieve,” said Steve Kirkland, head of brewing operations for 28 years. “We don’t have a secret formula, just good clean beer, which seems to have a wide appeal.”

Roosters Brewing Co. locations

253 Historic 25th St., Ogden, 801-627-6171

748 W. Heritage Park Blvd., Ste. 101, Layton, 801-774-9330

B Street Taproom, 2325 B Ave., Ogden, 801-689-2879

roostersbrewingco.com

Zion Brewery

The beauty of home brewing is that you can experiment with different flavors and techniques, allowing you to create unique and memorable beers. Such was the case for Jeremy Baxter, the head brewmaster at Zion Brewery for the past 10 years, who ventured into allgrain brewing 25 years ago.

With an impressive lineup of 12 craft brews including seasonal rotations, Zion Brewery’s offerings include the refreshing Kolsch and the Juicy IPA, which are sure to satisfy even the most discerning beer aficionados.

“We have a pilot system so we play around with single-barrel batches,” Baxter said. “We have a 15-barrel brew house, so we will pilot one-barrel batches, and when we find something that is really exciting, we will do a 15-barrel batch of that and put it on the seasonal line. Right now, we have a strawberry lemon goza. It took a bit to get some of the recipes dialed in, but I think it is what sets us apart—my brewing history and the fact that every brewer has their own unique recipe formations.”

Zion Canyon Brew Pub

95 Zion Park Blvd., Springdale 435-772-0336

Station II Bar

142 N. Main St., St. George 435-673-7644 zionbrewery.com

Strap Tank Brewery

“We have a beer for everybody, and everything is brewed true to style,” said Derik DeBoard, brewmaster at Strap Tank Brewing. “We have six core beers served at both locations. The other six that we have on draft are rotating seasonal, which we tend to do differently at each location. At any given time, there should be 14 beers per location with a total of 20 different beers.”

Strap Tank’s brewers are allowed to individually create one barrel of their choice and offer it on the kegerators, resulting in a wide array of brews. This approach enhances engagement and offers all beer enthusiasts a diverse and exciting experience.

The task of creating a beer that appeals to the residents of Utah County presents a unique challenge considering that Diet Coke is the most widely consumed beverage in the area.

However, by blending creativity and innovation, Strap Tank has risen to the challenge and offers a diverse and engaging range of beers that cater to the tastes and preferences in the local community. While they don’t offer an abundance of sours or lagers, they have a strong tap list across the board. For example, each location rotates through different amber styles.

Best-seller Lehi Light—an American light lager— is low carb and low calorie, and the Flathead American lager is a well-balanced beer.

Strap Tank Brewery locations

3661 Outlet Parkway, Lehi 385-503-8443

596 S. 1750 West, Springville 385-462-8775

straptankbrewery.com

COURTESY PHOTO

COURTESY PHOTO

COURTESY PHOTO COURTESY PHOTO

Ogden Beer Co.

Roosters Brewing Co.

The Zion Canyon Brew Pub in Springdale

Strap Tank Brewery

Since 2013, Ginger Bowden has been the proud owner of this brewery. Drawing inspiration from her father’s home-brewing skills, she embarked on an exciting journey into the brewing industry, driven by her thirst for knowledge and passion for good quality food.

As a fourth-generation Vernal resident, Bowden continues the pioneering legacy of her grandparents, who were original homesteaders. With an impressive selection of 14 craft beers, this brewery has become a trailblazer in the Vernal area.

Guided by the expertise of head brewer Curtis Dille, they meticulously craft each brew, ensuring a delightful and distinctive taste and tastefully designed labels that pay homage to the locality. Not content with mere perfection, Dille experiments with new brews routinely, and if the folks like it, it stays.

The best-selling beers have an array of flavor profiles, ranging from the invigorating She’s A Peach—a peach wheat ale—to the velvety Allosaurus Amber Ale, a medium-bodied and dark copper beverage. Each sip reveals the sophistication and simplicity achieved through the meticulous combination of typically only four ingredients.

“Our water is what makes our beer different; the quality is amazing,” Bowden said. “We try to stick with traditional styles, so when you get an IPA, you are getting a northwest IPA, etc. Come to Vernal for the adventures and stay for the beer; Vernal is a phenomenal place to be.” CW 55 S. 500 East, Vernal 435-781-2337 vernalbrewing.com

2496 S. WEST TEMPLE, SLC LEVELCROSSINGBREWING.COM @LEVELCROSSINGBREWING

Vernal Brewing Co.

Continued from p.34

COURTESY PHOTO Tacos and beer at Vernal Brewing Co.

SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer

159 N. Main St., Helper, UT helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co.

1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Solstice Lager

Kiitos Brewing

608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Nitro Sinday Pale Ale

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST 550 S. 300 West, No. 100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Bat Country Blonde

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap: Golden Sproket Wit

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Tropical Crush–POG–Passionfruit, Orange & Guava!

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Drive, Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/

On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company 358 Park Blvd., Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com

On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W. Center St., Logan Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: Tranquili-Tea HefeweizenEpic Collaboration

Proper Brewing 857 S. Main, SLC

ProperBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Whispers from Krakatoa

- Helles Lager with Habanero and Mango

Proper Burger: Sour RangerBlackberry and Lemon Sour

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191

Moab, Utah 84532

On Tap: Angus McCloud- Scottish Ale

Red Rock Brewing 254 S. 200 West, SLC

RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 S. State, Murray Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction

1640 Redstone Center, Kimball Junction Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave., SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Skippers Delight Amber Lager

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Identity Crisis Session West Coast Hazy Cold IPA – the name says it all!

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Farmhouse Brett Saison from Foeder #2

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Oktoberfest Vienna Lager

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Scion Cider Fuji-La 8.1% ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 S. Main, Millcreek https://secondsummitcider.com

On Tap: Blackberry Lime Cider

Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave., South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Hellion Huckelberry

Sour Ale

Live Music: Thursdays

Shades On State 366 S. State, SLC Shadesonstate.com

On Tap: Hellion Blond Ale, an ode to Ellie, manager at Shades on State Karaoke: Wednesdays

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co. 147 W. 300 South, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/squatters

On Tap: Salt Lake Brewing Co.’s Kafka Dark Lager

Squatters and Wasatch Brewery

1763 S. 300 West SLC Utahbeers.com

On Tap: Squatters & Kiitos Collab: Ginger Rye Lime Sour, 5% Strap Tank Brewery, Lehi 3661 Outlet Pkwy, Lehi, StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: Spirit World Saison - Grid City Collaboration Sour Saison/ Wine Hybrid Strap Tank Brewery, Springville 596 S 1750 West, Springville StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: Spirit World Saison - Grid City Collaboration Sour Saison/ Wine Hybrid Stratford Proper 1588 Stratford Ave., SLC stratfordproper.com

On Tap: Yacht Rock Juice BoxJuicy IPA

TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Watermelon Gose

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave., Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Grillin’ Me Softly

Chinese street food-inspired cuisine at Matchstick Bar and Grill.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

If ou don’t have that little eastward stretch of 3500 South right off I-215 in West Valley City on your foodie radar, it’s really time to get your shit together. It’s one of the few local sprawls where you can get everything from Thai food to ramen to sushi to barbecue within one city block.

Recently I heard of a spot called Matchstick Bar and Grill that took over a space that belonged to a defunct Korean barbecue restaurant in the area, and couldn’t wait to give it a try. It specializes in chuan—grilled skewers of protein or veggies that are a popular street food throughout China—but it also offers gigantic, shareable barbecue platters that are prepped tableside. Add a fully stocked beer and spirits menu, and you’ve got yourself a decent place to party in the WVC.

So, let’s talk about chuan. Many cultures have some kind of spin on skewered meat, and the Chinese variation got its start in the northwestern province of Xinjiang. It was pioneered by the Uyghur, a Chinese ethnic group that is predominantly Muslim, so lamb is often the protein of choice in this region. Over the years, however, chuan has taken on more regional flavors as the popular street food

spread throughout China; these days, chuan can feature pretty much anything skewered and grilled.

One thing I love about Matchstick Bar and Grill is that their skewer menu does not skimp on the guts—intestines and chicken hearts are plentiful if you can dig it. Though I have eaten my fair share of intestines and chicken hearts and found them to be just not my thing, I will always celebrate their presence on a menu.

Their skewers range from around $3.99 for the veggie options—think grilled mushrooms, potatoes and eggplant—and get up to around $6.99 for your squid options. Each item on the menu appears alongside a checkbox, and you get a pencil to mark what you want, similar to dim sum spots I’ve visited. If you’re with a group of people, their BBQ combos ($29.99) are ideal. Combo A features pork belly, beef and chicken, while Combo B adds shrimp and scallops for a more surfand-turf option. These combos make use of the grill installed at each table, and are excellent choices if you’re looking for a bit of spectacle along with your meal.

I was flying solo during my visit, so I just ordered a bunch of skewers and sides a la carte. Though you’re maybe not getting as much of a show when you go this route, you do get quite a bit of food for your dollar. I went pretty basic surf-andturf with some pork belly, lamb, beef and shrimp, and added an appetizer of spicy fried tofu ($7.99). The pork belly and lamb were definite standouts—the chuan style is all about a flavorful dry rub of salt, pepper, cumin and other spices unique to each chef. In contrast to other kebabs and skewers I have known, the skewers at Matchstick have smaller pieces of meat that stay juicy on the inside, while their

exterior gets that nice barbecue bark that comes from an expertly applied dry rub.

The skewers themselves are such concentrated vectors of meaty, smoky flavor that you’ll want a few sides on hand to cut through the richness. I recommend their garlic cucumber salad ($6.99) or pickled radish ($3.99), which imparts a refreshing, vinegary contrast that helps balance your palate out as you plow through those skewers. You’ll also want to order up a side of rice ($2.99) and some grilled bread ($3.59), which is akin to some naan or a tortilla, so you can make yourself a nice Chinese-inspired taco.

While I was overall impressed with the skewers I ordered, I thought the beef skewers were a bit tough. Also, the shrimp is grilled with the shell on, so most of that lovely seasoning doesn’t end up on the shrimp itself, though you can lick it off your fingers after you’ve peeled each little shrimpy. They’re small gripes to be sure— there are few things as nice as sipping a cold beer while a wooden plate filled with grilled meat gets placed on your table.

Matchstick Bar and Grill is one of those local joints where you can really get lost in the culture behind a specific type of food. As chuan is typically eaten as a street food you snag while out socializing with your friends, the whole vibe at Matchstick facilitates a social dining experience. Skewers can easily be shared, and their sizzling barbecue combos lean into Instagrammable presentation. I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of this new West Valley restaurant, and I’m itching to go back for more. CW

the

BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Donations for Kyung’s Bakery

Fans of Kyung’s Bakery were shocked and saddened to hear that Kyung had been injured in a hit-and-run automobile collision late last year. As she and her family have tried to recover, medical bills have been piling up, and our local Korean-inspired bakery has remained closed while Kyung and her family recuperate. Kyung’s friend June Kim has organized a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for Kyung’s ongoing medical procedures. They’re still a bit off from their goal, so if anyone close to our local food scene is interested in helping out, you can find a link to the GoFundMe campaign via the Kyung’s Bakery Instagram page (@kyungsbakery).

Kensington Street Festival

Kensington Avenue will be the site of a pre-fall street fair hosted by RoHa Brewing Project and Salt Lake City events this Saturday, Aug. 19. The hub of this eclectic event will be RoHa Brewing Project (30 E. Kensington Avenue), and admission is free. The event will feature plenty of live music, local art vendors, a real-time mural creation, food trucks and a beer garden. Those who live in the area can also get a bit more information about the city’s Kensington Byway Project, which looks to make the area more accessible to bicycles and other non-vehicle transportation. The festival kicks off at 2 p.m. and will wrap up at 8 p.m.

Thai Better Opens

I recently popped in to check out Thai Better (11511 S. 4000 West, Ste. 101), a South Jordan fastcasual Thai restaurant, just after it opened. It’s an adorable little spot that features custom art where their chubby mascot is visiting numerous locales (Delicate Arch in Moab is one of many). They’ve got plenty of Thai mainstays—yellow, green, massaman and panang are all here to play— along with some traditional Thai noodle dishes and soups. The food is fast, tasty and hot hot hot when it arrives from the kitchen. I’ll be checking back on this place as they progress, but early reports are looking positive.

Quote of the Week: “Spicy stuff is addictive. That’s a known fact of science.” –Maureen

Johnson

Play Within the Play

Passages brilliantly captures a toxic brand of artistic narcissism.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

When we first meet filmmaker Tomas Freiburg (Franz Rogowski)—the anti-hero of co-writer/director Ira Sachs’ feature Passages—he’s on the set of his latest movie in Paris. As he fusses with the actors over the position of their hands while holding drinks, or swinging their arms too much while descending a staircase, we get a glimpse of the clapboard for his movie. Like the movie we’re watching, it’s produced by SBS Productions; its title, like the movie we’re watching, is Passages.

Tomas’s movie seems to be a period piece, so it’s not as though he’s specifically creating a version of the story we’re about to see unfold. No, the real point of having Sachs’ movie and Tomas’s movie share a title seems to be teaching us about the way Tomas treats his reality, in the way he treats his movies: as narratives over which he gets to exert control, even if he makes other people feel small in the process.

That’s the dynamic that evolves at the wrap party for Tomas’s movie, where he meets a young woman named Agathe (Adèle Exarchopoulos). They go back to her flat and have sex—and the next morning, Tomas has no problem immediately telling his husband of 15 years, Martin (Ben Whishaw), what took place. Tomas seems to think that their relationship can proceed with business as usual, but the ensuing attempt at a romantic triangle becomes one where it’s clear that one side is

always out of balance with the others.

Passages became the subject of a minor controversy over receiving an NC-17 rating for its sexual content—a decision that seemed predicated on the fact that much of the sex in question is gay, and inspired discussion that tended to bypass the question of why Sachs chose to include it. This is, to be sure, a fairly horny movie about a fairly horny guy, but it’s also true that Sachs is exploring the different ways people respond to being intimate with someone. The sensual, physical acts that are portrayed—both between Tomas and Martin, and between Tomas and Agathe— take on a different perspective as it becomes clear that Tomas doesn’t view them with the same emotional consequence as his partners do, particularly when a weekend getaway involving the three of them finds Tomas and Martin having sex while Agathe listens to them awkwardly through her bedroom wall.

And emotional consequence is at the center of Passages, as the script by Sachs and his regular collaborator Mauricia Zacharias probes the twists and turns

taken by these relationships, including an unplanned pregnancy. Rogowski’s performance magnificently evokes a certain kind of narcissistic artist so convinced that they feel things more deeply than the rest of the world that the feelings of the other people in their lives almost don’t exist. Agathe understands this instinctively when she responds to Tomas saying he’s falling in love with her by replying, “You say it when it works for you,” though it doesn’t prevent her from being drawn into his orbit. Both Whishaw and Exarchopoulos do excellent work, but are also effectively subordinate as the kind of relationships Tomas expects from people—ones where they’ll be there for him when he needs them, and not get in his way when he doesn’t.

Sachs complements this singular character study with unconventional filmmaking choices throughout. He cuts from an awkward bedtime silence between Tomas and Martin not to the kind of scene one might typically expect (pretending everything is normal the next day), but instead to the middle of the fight that clearly immediately ensued. There’s wisdom even in

a choice as simple as not revealing until the movie is nearly half over what both Martin and Agathe do for a living, almost as though we’re seeing through Tomas’s eyes how little the details of these people’s lives matter when they’re separate from him.

At just 92 minutes, Passages demonstrates a kind of narrative efficiency that’s almost ruthless, potentially leaving a sense that you’d want to know more about how these lives shake out. Yet that’s also part of what makes it stunning in its simplicity. We get to see Tomas wreck his own life through the fundamental inability to see those he claims to love as anything but supporting characters in a movie where he’s the hero. CW

Adèle Exarchopoulos and Franz Rogowski in Passages CREDIT MUBI

THURSDAYS

FRIDAYS DJ FRESH(NESS)

SATURDAYS POKER @ 2PM DJ DELMAGGIO

SHARK SUNDAYS POOL TOURNEY HOSTED BY JARED AND TANNER

MONDAYS REGGAE MONDAY WITH DJ NAPO

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS KARAOKE

Musical Mailbag

New music from three local bands

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

Another week, another fantastic batch of musical news from the local scene. Check out these exciting releases and add them to your playlists.

Cardinal Bloom, “Nothing Stays the Same”: SLC indie darlings Cardinal Bloom are at it again, bringing a new and exciting track as we drift out of summer and into spooky season. “Nothing Stays the Same” is an upbeat, yet emotional track about, you guessed it, about how things don’t stay the same. Cardinal Bloom is always able to take morose subjects like jaded love and turn them into a fun time. The song starts out with an addicting swing feel before it explodes at the chorus. It suddenly becomes a pop/punk-sounding anthem that will make you want to jump around and sing at the top of your lungs. The song is on the longer side (not that I’m complaining), so you really get a good feel of the vibe the group are working at. With each single the group puts out, it’s hard to imagine they’ll top their previous work, but they keep managing to do it, so bravo. facebook.com/cardinalbloom

Silver Cup, Songs From a Broken Laptop: Indie-pop duo Silver Cup have been steadily releasing singles all year as a build-up to their latest mixtape, Songs From a Broken Laptop, which is streaming everywhere right now. The SLC natives signed with a new record label, Anti-Fragile Records, in 2022, so this is their first work on the label. Silver Cup have insisted on calling the

new body of work a “mixtape” rather than an album or an EP, and that’s probably a word you haven’t heard in a long time, or a word you’ve never heard in the first place (am I right, the youth?)—but the duo have an explanation. “Calling the project an ‘album’ didn’t fit, but rather a ‘mixtape’ better described what the project encompassed. Instead of a cohesive body of work that is an album, the project is an arbitrary track list made up of songs written without overthinking and straight from the perspective of exhaustion. No conceptual deepness or a perfect package, just what was going on for the band from October 2022 to December 2022.”

You can definitely tell Silver Cup were wearing their hearts on their sleeves as they put together this mix. As usual, the duo have exciting pop beats on each of the songs, but the lyrics take a deep dive into more serious subject matter. On the surface, “Kill For You” is a catchy pop tune with fast drums and cool electronic elements, but the lyrics are a little more sinister. “So please just let me / Be with you when you’re sleeping / Coffee in bed for

two / And then you’ll tell me / ‘You’re the love that I’m needing’ / Realizing everything I’d do / I’d kill for you,” vocalist Hadley Nelson sings. Makes you wonder about fans that have potentially gone too far.

The mixtape is full of emotion and angst, a perfect sound for those tough and complicated days. Songs From a Broken Laptop is streaming everywhere now. Instagram: @silvercup_

Federal Heights, Federal Heights: Singer/ songwriter Callum Dingley has made his rounds around the local scene in other projects, but recently branched out to start a new one with his pal Jack Behrens called Federal Heights. Their first project is an interesting endeavor—recorded onto an 8-track cassette mixing desk. “As a songwriter, moving away from the endless possibilities of digital recordings allowed for a simplistic approach to translating an idea into a song,” Dingley said. “Recording onto cheap tape with limited engineering resources let us focus more on the songwriting process, as those basic ideas would be captured onto recordings in simplistic terms without a plethora of

effects plugins and editing tools. For the listener, that 1990s tape recorder captures a naturally vintage charm that we hope creates a unique and honest portrayal of our music.”

Analog definitely has a special feel to it when you listen, and that’s present throughout the debut album. It starts out with an instrumental track, “In Federal Heights,” that is so memorable and calming. The beautiful melody is perfect when you need something soothing after a tough day. As the album proceeds into its second track, “I’ll Stay,” it takes on a retro feeling. Perhaps that’s in part due to the recording equipment, but musically it has an old-fashioned feel. Federal Heights has an indie/folk/rock vibe, and it sounds like something you’d maybe come across in the ’70s. Check out this debut album if you’re in the mood for a nostalgic sound that was made on analog equipment in the age of technology. Federalheights.bandcamp.com

That’s it for this week’s musical mailbag, be sure to give these new and intriguing works from locals and enjoy. CW

COURTESY PHOTO

By Emilee Atkinson

Flogging Molly @ The Complex 8/18

It’s ironic that for bands like Black 47 and the Dropkick Murphys, the words “Irish” and “insurgency” have become practically synonymous, especially since these two outfits actually hail from New York and Boston respectively, cities separated by several thousand miles from the Emerald Isles. While Los Angeles’ Flogging Molly take a similar approach—they’ve drawn comparison to native sons, the Pogues in particular—they maintain a geographical bond of sorts, courtesy of founder, frontman and Dublin native Dave King, a former kingpin in the heavy metal outfit Fastway. King’s familiarity with Irish tradition is underscored by the group’s instrumental make-up, a raucous collision of guitar, fiddle, accordion, mandolin, bass and drums. King himself draws on his own roots and recollections to shape the songs’ themes, from childhood memories of religious and political strife and the untimely death of his father, to his forced relocation to the United States. The anger and defiance embedded in him early on became an integral part of Flogging Molly’s sound, as manifested in their brash, defiant anthems and a restless urgency that informs each of their albums. The band takes their name from the L.A. bar Molly Malone’s where they established an early residency and a lingering reputation. Indeed, a growing legion of fans and a chorus of critical kudos continue to hail them for their boisterous, blistering live act. You don’t have to be Irish to appreciate those saucy sentiments. Tickets for the all-ages show are $39.50 each, or a BOGO sale of $59.25 for two. Grab tickets at thecomplexslc.com. (Lee Zimmerman)

Flogging Molly RICHIE SMYTH

A Bluegrass Saturday Night @ The Gallivan Center 8/19

MUSIC PICK S

Hold on to your hats and fasten on your starshaped studded belts— it’s A Bluegrass Saturday Night under the velveteen late-summer city sky. Beginning in the early evening twilight and continuing on into the bedazzling darkness with not one, not three, but five bluegrass-based acts at the top of each hour, this promises to be a weekend for the books. The robust line-up offers performances by AppAlaska, The Backyard Revival, Mars Highway, Two Headed Trout and Band of Comerados. As each and every band slotted to take the stage is a highly regarded talent in their own right, this mini-fest guarantees a best-in-the-business block party that will please both newcomers and veteran bluegrass enjoyers alike. Hosted by the trusty local non-profit Intermountain Acoustic Music Association (IAMA), it’ll be a night that you can bet will run as smooth as a slab of butter on a hot piece of sourdough, each detail carefully and painstakingly planned with the intention of creating a desirable event for music lovers across the Salt Lake Valley. Oh! I forgot to mention the best part: This sweet little gig is 100% free. That’s right, you heard me correctly: F-R-E-E. There’s no excuse! Get off your butt and get down to the Gallivan to do a little dancing and soak up a lot of sounds. The music begins right at 5 p.m. and runs until 10 p.m. No need to find a sitter, either, since this all-ages concert is fun and fit for the whole family. (Sophie Caligiuri)

By Emilee Atkinson

The Backyard Revival

By Emilee Atkinson

Less Than Jake @ The Depot 8/19

Ska-punk professionals Less Than Jake have been at it for a hot minute now. While they haven’t gone anywhere, the Floridians are currently on tour celebrating the 25th anniversary of their third album that dropped back in 1998. The hyperactive and pristine-clean Hello Rockview is a time machine that’ll make one feel nostalgic right from the getgo. “It puts people into that time where they were at a show watching Less Than Jake or watching Goldfinger or the Bosstones. Maybe it lifts their spirits,” Peter “JR” Wasilewski told getalternative.com. “In broad strokes, it’s unbelievable it’s come back, and that people are excited by it, but it’s not that shocking if you look at the actual genealogy of it all.” Ska does come in many flavors; if a person is hesitant to get a taste, playing one song won’t make them convert. Ska is just a thing people have to find at the right time—and this is your time. There is just something fresh about combining brass instruments with punk rock and a mantra of “Hey, the world sucks, but let’s have a dance party, woo!” It really is impossible to listen to Less Than Jake and not smile. The Toasters and Devon Key and the Solutions open. Catch all of these acts on the Welcome To Rockview tour at The Depot on Saturday, Aug. 19. Show starts at 7 p.m.; tickets for the all-ages show are $26 and can be found at livenation.com (Mark Dago)

Featured Album Featured Album

James Ivy, Georell Magno @ Kilby Court 8/21

Finding your sound as a musician takes time, often years. A lot of experimentation goes into finding what works for you, and how you want to convey your message. For young singer/songwriter James Ivy, his style has changed and morphed into what it is today. Ivy started making more electronic-based music initially before getting into physical instruments. He could make a solid tune on his computer, but something was missing. “I was comfortable producing, but I wasn’t fulfilled,” he explained on his website bio. “Doing electronic music was confining me from what I could do with songwriting. I still needed to find my voice.” This is when he separated himself a bit from the computer and picked up a guitar. What’s resulted is something grungy and dreamy, a sound all his own. “There isn’t much Asian-American representation in rock music, and I don’t want to be boxed into any of those expectations,” he said. “I want somebody to see this and think, ‘I can do that too.’” His debut dropped at a time we wish we could all forget, fall of 2020, but that hasn’t slowed him down a bit. He’s put out several hits and has several million listeners enjoying his unique style. Catch James Ivy supported by Georell Magno on Monday, Aug. 21 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $16 at 24tix.com in advance, or $18 at the door. (Emilee Atkinson)

Convictions, Confessions of a Traitor, State of Decay, Acacia Ridge @ Urban Lounge 8/23

“We want to provide an escape for people, to embrace their belief when all else is lost,” says the bio for hardcore band Confessions of a Traitor. “Aggressive music, to build positive people. Honest and passionate, the band wears their hearts on their sleeves. COAT shares this through emotive lyrics that venture to some of the darkest places the band have endured.” Sometimes listening to the dark times others have gone through helps immensely; hardcore guitar rhythms and screaming vocals also definitely help get aggression and bad feelings out. COAT has all of this aplenty, and any of their tunes would be great for an intense workout or when you’re stuck in traffic. Local rockers Acacia Ridge will also help fill any of your heavy musical needs. They have it all from intense vocals, ripping guitar and heartfelt sound. They’ve released several singles so far in 2023 and if you haven’t heard them, you’re missing out. COAT and Acacia Ridge are in the mix with “aggressive worship” band Convictions and hardcore punk group State of Decay. If you need to get away and forget about life for a while pulling some muscles in your neck from head-banging, this is your show. Tickets for the 21+ show are $15 in advance at 24tix.com, and $18 at the door. (EA)

PARIS VISONE MICHAEL WOLEVER

Less Than Jake James Ivy

free will ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

The Lincoln Calibration Sphere 1 is a hollow globe of aluminum launched into Earth orbit in 1965. Fifty-eight years later, it continues to circle the planet—and is still doing the job it was designed to do. It enables ground-based radar devices to perform necessary calibrations. I propose we celebrate and honor the faithfulness of this magic sphere. May it serve as an inspiring symbol for you in the coming months. More than ever before, you have the potential to do what you were made to do—and with exceptional steadiness and potency. I hope you will be a pillar of inspiring stability for those you care about.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

“Live as though you’re living a second time and as though the first time you lived, you did it wrong, and now you’re trying to do things right.” Holocaust survivor and author Viktor Frankl offered this advice. I wouldn’t want to adhere to such a demanding practice every day of my life. But I think it can be an especially worthwhile exercise for you in the coming weeks. You will have a substantial capacity to learn from your past; to prevent mediocre histories from repeating themselves; to escape the ruts of your habit mind and instigate fresh trends.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Gemini author Jamie Zafron wrote an article titled “To Anyone Who Thinks They’re Falling Behind in Life.” She says, “Sometimes you need two more years of life experience before you can make your masterpiece into something that will feel real and true and raw. Sometimes you’re not falling in love because whatever you need to know about yourself is only knowable through solitude. Sometimes you haven’t met your next collaborator. Sometimes your sadness encircles you because, one day, it will be the opus upon which you build your life.” This is excellent advice for you in the coming months, dear Gemini. You’ll be in a phase of incubation, preparing the way for your Next Big Thing. Honor the gritty, unspectacular work you have ahead! It will pay off.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

You’re entering a phase when you will generate maximum luck if you favor what’s short and sweet instead of what’s long and complicated. You will attract the resources you need if you identify what they are with crisp precision and do not indulge in fuzzy indecision. The world will conspire in your favor to the degree that you avoid equivocating. So please say precisely what you mean! Be a beacon of clear, relaxed focus!

LEO

(July

23-Aug. 22)

Unless you are French, chances are you have never heard of Saint-John Perse (1887–1975). He was a renowned diplomat for the French government and a poet who won the Nobel Prize for Literature. Now he’s virtually unknown outside of his home country. Can we draw useful lessons for your use, Leo? Well, I suspect that in the coming months, you may very well come into greater prominence and wield more clout. But it’s crucial for the long-term health of your soul that during this building time, you are in service to nurturing your soul as much as your ego. The worldly power and pride you achieve will ultimately fade like Perse’s. But the spiritual growth you accomplish will endure forever.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

“Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.” Virgo author Christopher Isherwood said that. I’m offering his thought because I believe life will be spectacularly not bad for you in the coming weeks—whether or not you have a good physique. In fact, I’m guessing life will be downright enjoyable, creative and fruitful. In part, that’s because you will be the beneficiary of a stream of luck. And in part, your gentle triumphs and graceful productiveness will unfold because you will be exceptionally imaginative.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

“You know how crazy love can make you,” Mary D. Esselman and Elizabeth Ash Vélez write in their book Love Poems for Real Life. “On any given day, you’re insanely happy, maniacally miserable, kooky with contentment or bonkers with boredom—and that’s in a good relationship.” They add, “You have to be a little nuts to commit yourself, body and soul, to one other person—one wonderful, goofy, fallible person—in the hope that happily-ever-after really does exist.” The authors make good points, but their view of togetherness will be less than fully applicable to you in the coming months. I suspect life will bring you boons as you focus your intelligence on creating well-grounded, nourishing, non-melodramatic bonds with trustworthy allies.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“I don’t adopt anyone’s ideas—I have my own.” So proclaimed Scorpio author Ivan Turgenev (1818–1883). Really, Ivan? Were you never influenced by someone else’s concepts, principles, art or opinions? The fact is that all of us live in a world created and shaped by the ideas of others. We should celebrate that wondrous privilege! We should be pleased that we don’t have to produce everything from scratch under our own power. As for you Scorpios reading this oracle, I urge you to be the anti-Turgenev in the coming weeks. Rejoice at how interconnected you are—and take full advantage of it. Treasure the teachings that have made you who you are. Sing your gratitude for those who have forged the world you love to live in. You now have the power to be an extraordinary networker.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The Tibetan term lenchak is often translated as “karmic debt.” It refers to unconscious conditioning and bad habits that attract us to people we would be better off not engaging. I’ll be bold and declare that soon, you will have paid off a lenchak that has caused you relationship problems. You are almost free of a long-running delusion. You don’t actually need an influence you thought you needed.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

If you’re like many of us, you have a set bathing routine. In the shower or bath, you start your cleansing process with one particular action, like washing your face, and go on to other tasks in the same sequence every time. Some people live most of their lives this way: following well-established patterns in all they do. I’m not criticizing that approach, though it doesn’t work for me. I need more unpredictability and variety. Anyway, Capricorn, I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will benefit from trying my practice. Have fun creating variations on your standard patterns. Enjoy being a novelty freak with the daily details.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In July 1812, Ludwig van Beethoven wrote a 10-page love letter to a woman he called “My Angel” and “Immortal Beloved.” He never sent it, and scholars are still unsure of the addressee’s identity. The message included lines like “you—my everything, my happiness . my solace—my everything” and “forever thine, forever mine, forever us.” I hope you will soon have sound reasons for composing your own version of an “Immortal Beloved” letter. According to my astrological analysis, it’s time for your tender passion to fully bloom. If there’s not a specific person who warrants such a message, write it to an imaginary lover.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

At age 32, artist Peter Milton realized the colors he thought he used in his paintings were different from what his viewers saw—he had color blindness. For example, what he regarded as gray with a hint of yellow, others perceived as green. Shocked, he launched an unexpected adjustment. For the next 40 years, all his paintings were black and white only. They made him famous and have been exhibited in major museums. I love how he capitalized on an apparent disability and made it his strength. I invite you to consider a comparable move in the coming months.

Art Director, Salt Lake City, UT: Responsible for the whole life - cycle of the co’s UI/UX DESG projects. Approve dsgn DESG dvlpd by UI/UX dsgnrs. Hire, train, & direct UI/UX dsgnrs. Min. Reqs: MA’s deg in HCI DESG, ENGg DESG & innovation, / a closely rltd fld. 2-yr exp in an occu. (any job title) that provides UI/UX DESG / product DESG rltd exp. 2-yr exp in an occu. (any job title) that provides user research rltd exp. Strong KNWL of HTML, CSS, Javascript. Strong KNWL may be gained thru EDU c/w, TRNG, / exp. Must be will’g to work from home anywhere in the U.S. 100% telecommut’g is reqd. Send resumes: Kelly MacDonald, Databento Inc., careers+1@databento.com. Job ref: 1001.

IHC Health Services, Inc. DBA

Intermountain Health seeks a Senior Application Systems Technical Analyst in West Valley City, Utah. To apply, go to https://imh.wd5.myworkdayjobs. com/IntermountainCareers and search for the job title or Job Number R79582 or email resume to Mary Hansen at mary.hansen@imail. org. Applicants who fail to provide a resume and pre-screening question responses will not be considered. This position is for permanent direct hire only; applications for contract labor will not be considered.

Across 1. Danny of “White Christmas”

5. Enjoyed immensely

10. Words before fever or risk

14. Eco-friendly certification letters

15. Joe Cocker’s “You ____ Beautiful”

16. Online periodical

17. “This ____ outrage!”

18. Erin of “Happy Days”

19. Lydia Ko’s sports org.

20. Uncertainty about whether something is right or wrong

23. Adorns with Charmin, for short

24. Sedimentary deposit

25. Understand

26. Visual phenomenon at some raves

32. Batman and Robin wear them

35. Banister

36. “There’s ____ in team”

37. Black-and-white predator

38. Versatile utensil

40. Magazine founder Eric

41. Historic figure who appears on renminbi bank notes

42. Tubular pasta

43. Oohed and ____

44. “More than anything ...”

48. %, for short

49. Louvre Pyramid architect I.M. 50. Pajama-clad mag founder 53. Trademarked Arby’s slogan ... or this puzzle’s theme 58. Novelist Picoult 59. “Este minuto!” 60. Overabundance 61. Government takeover

10. “Phew!” feeling

11. Hyperbolic ordinal

12. Former Hungarian premier Imre ____

13. ____ Khan

21. Heaps

Last week’s answers

Down

1. “The Kiss” artist Gustav

2. “The Ant and the Grasshopper” writer 3. Quite a while 4. Poet ____ St. Vincent Millay 5. Actress Hedy in the National Inventors

urban LIVING

Faithful Art

Many people have strong beliefs in God and religion, especially in the land of Zion. This kind of faith is generally based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof and, for some, it manifests in creating art, music, song and/or literature. There are millions of examples of faith-based creativity around the world, from structures of all kinds to ancient paintings on sandstone or giant oils in museums. Utah has its share of rock art, churches, synagogues and cathedrals and is the home of one of the largest and most famous religious choirs.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was founded in 1830 by Joseph Smith. The Tabernacle Choir was formed 29 days after Mormons entered the Salt Lake Valley, on Aug. 22, 1847. Others inspired to express their LDS faith through art include Arnold Friberg (“The Prayer at Val ley Forge”), Gutzon Borglum (Mount Rushmore National Memorial) and singers such as David Archuleta and the Osmond family.

Sculptor Ralphael Plescia passed away in 2022. Known as an “outsider artist,” he created a bevy of sculp tures based on his Christian faith in a building behind a gas station at 1300 South State St. It’s been fun to take clients by to look inside the windows and see what he was working on. His creations were placed all over the in terior and attached to the foundation, walls and roof—from paintings of Je sus Christ to a massive concrete dragon. The building was sold and some art will be saved, but much cannot be due to how it was constructed. I would hurry to peer in the windows before demolition takes over.

SUDOKU X

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

In college, we used to smoke weed in a overgrown sculpture garden just east of Trolley Square. The forgotten stone art was fascinating, but it was unclear then who had carved the pieces, as there was no interpretive signage, and we didn’t even know it had a name—Gilgal Sculpture Garden. Now it’s a public park on 3 acres, and you can go during the day (for free) to see the works of Thomas Child Jr. There are 12 hand-carved sculptures and 70 engraved stone slabs depicting an outpouring of religious concepts from his Latter-Day Saints faith. His work was saved in 1997 when a group of locals stopped condos from going in and raised almost $700,000 to purchase the property and protect the works for generations to come.

I’m always surprised how many folks have never seen the garden. I highly suggest a visit (located at 749 E. 500 South, SLC). Who knows, you may walk away needing to creatively express your own faith! n

WITH BABS DELAY Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com

NEWS of the WEIRD

BY THE EDITORS AT ANDREWS MCMEEL

How Was Your Summer Vacation?

Alan Stevens, 50, of Hull, England, booked a surprise 17-day trip for his wife’s birthday to the Dominican Republic for late June. When they arrived, however, it was clear the resort’s “five-star” rating was a mistake. Hull Live reported that while at the resort, Stevens and his wife observed a variety of alarming behaviors.

“When we went out to the pool for the first time, we saw guests smoking weed in the pool, people having sex in the pool ... one woman being sick all over herself in the pool, and another guest actually defecate in the pool—it was disgusting,” Stevens said. “We were approached by people offering us drugs about 10 times in the 17 days we were there. A woman fell from a balcony while we were there, and we walked past and saw her body hidden under a sheet. ... We had no idea what was going on.”

He continued: “When we were out one day, I saw a man knocked clean off his motorbike. I just burst out crying because on top of everything else that had happened, it was such a shock.” The travel company Stevens worked with offered 200 pounds in vouchers and counseling credits, which Stevens called “a joke. This was 100% the worst holiday we’ve ever been on.”

The Aristocrats

Maryland’s Kimberly “Kimycola” Winter has eructed her way into history with a Guinness World Record, United Press International reported on Aug. 2. Winter broke the previous record for loudest burp (female) with a 107.3-decibel growler. That’s louder than a blender, an electric hand-held drill and even some motorcycles. She said she prepared for the event with breakfast, coffee and beer. Winter said to achieve the big belch, she takes a deep breath and tries to “manipulate that into something monstrous and magical.” She admitted she loves to shock strangers with her burps. “I love to be loud and proud!”

Suspicions Confirmed

The Hangzhou Zoo in eastern China has gotten a big bump in visitor numbers this week—30% more, to 20,000 a day!—since Angela the Malayan sun bear went viral. Reuters reported that Angela captured social media attention when she stood up on her hind legs and stretched her neck out to look at visitors. In fact, her behavior was so humanlike that people thought maybe the zoo had dressed a worker up in a bear suit. “After we saw the video on the internet, we specially took the high-speed train from Suzhou to come over to see the bear,” Qiang Ming said. “If this is fake, it deserves an Oscar for special effects,” said one commenter. But no! Angela is “definitely not a human. Our zoo is government-run, so that kind of situation would not happen,” the zoo responded.

Unconventional Weapon

Jennifer Colandrea, 42, of St. Petersburg, Florida, was charged with domestic battery after an incident on July 31, The Smoking Gun reported. As her ex-husband, Brian Drummond, 42, slept in the home they share, Colandrea allegedly violently ripped his CPAP machine off his face, causing a cut on his lower lip, and started arguing with him. The two divorced in 2009 but have been sharing a home. Colandrea was released on her own recognizance and ordered to stay away from Drummond.

Molehill, Meet Mountain

Cedar Point Shores Waterpark in Sandusky, Ohio, was the scene of what might have been a routine dust-up between patrons on July 27. But, as The Smoking Gun reported, it developed into much more. Cops responded

after a woman allegedly called a child a “brat” and “fat ass” and pushed him off a floating toy. She identified herself as Jennifer Lee Miller, 67, and said she was a “Christian woman, a grandmother, and she wouldn’t do such a thing,” police said. After officers gave her a warning and left the scene, they determined that the woman had given them a false name; she is really Janet Nale of Taylor, Michigan, and she was arrested for obstruction. “She lied about all her information and had no reason for doing so,” one officer said.

Wait, What?

Bob Blankenship of Ormond Beach, Florida, wants some answers after a May incident where he discovered airplane parts, including a windshield, in his yard, News 6 reported. Blankenship lives near the Ormond Beach Airport and is used to the noise, but pieces of fiberglass and metal falling from the sky concerned him: “It could fall on anybody out here,” he said. “Just think if it fell from 300 feet. What’s the impact going to be? Probably cut you in two.” Blankenship determined which plane had been flying over and contacted the airport, leaving his contact information. Later, he got a message from the pilot: “Hey, this is Douglas, and I’m over in DeLand and I lost a piece of my airplane yesterday. ... I’m wondering if I can connect with you and come and get it.” No, said Blankenship. He reported the incident to the FAA, which claimed that “the falling aircraft part situation is being taken seriously by our organization,” but he’s unsatisfied with their slow response. “The next time it could be somebody’s life,” he said.

Rude

British Columbia real estate agent Mike Rose is out on his ear in Kamloops after he was recently caught on video swigging milk straight from the bottle at a home that he was showing. Canoe.com reported on July 28 that Rose was waiting for his clients to arrive for a showing; and after slaking his thirst, he returned the milk jug to the refrigerator. Rose apologized, saying his behavior was out of character and he was “unusually dehydrated,” but his clients replaced him and he was ordered to pay a $22,500 fine.

Sporting News

During a friendly soccer match on July 21 between Gateshead and Dunston in England, players and spectators were astonished as men wearing balaclavas drove a hearse onto the pitch, the Independent reported. Just before 8:20 p.m., the funeral car and a Subaru made their way onto the field, where they spun around in circles as their occupants threw leaflets from the cars. The drivers of the hearse left that vehicle on the pitch and hopped in the other car, which drove away. Officials were forced to call off the match. Northumbria Police said four men had been arrested and remained in police custody. “Disorder will not be tolerated in the community,” police said. “Enquiries continue.”

n The Seattle Mariners are down a player after outfielder Jarred Kelenic took on an unlikely opponent in the locker room: a water cooler. CBS News reported that Kelenic kicked the cooler after striking out against the Minnesota Twins on July 19 and suffered a broken foot as a result. Manager Scott Servais said Kelenic “feels terrible. He knows he let a lot of people down.” While his recovery may be long, he will not require surgery—just therapy for his fractured ego.

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