City Weekly November 9, 2017 by Copperfield Publishing

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | VOL. 34 N0. 24

Impeach Trump now. Ask us how!

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY OH, WHAT A YEAR

Covfefe! Nambia! Alleged collusion! The continued systemic oppression of any and all minorities known to man! Coverillustration byJeff Drew jeffdrewpictures.com

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BY RANDY HARWARD

COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

@CITYWEEKLY

@SLCWEEKLY

Hits & Misses, Oct. 26, “#fakenews”

You really should do your homework and study what those stories are all about, simply by following the links provided, providing you even looked beyond the headline. Your attempt at labeling others for publishing fake news points to your own false and shallow views. D-News has mud on their face, but not as much as you do. ED WALLACE Via cityweekly.net

A&E, Oct. 26, “All Hallows’ Evenings”

Hope everyone will take a minute to read this article about the vision, creation and organization of Fear Con. PATTI HARDLE Via Facebook Thanks for the great article! MICHAEL HARDLE Via Facebook

Leave tweeting to the president

Dine, Oct. 26, “Atypical Indian”

We just went there tonight. The food was amazing! And the chai tea latte was the best I’ve ever had. ALISHA OHMANN Via Facebook

True TV, Oct. 26, “Downside Up”

Season 1 [of Stranger Things] was great. I’m binging on some Mario Odyssey first. I’ll get to Stranger Things sooner or later. RICHARD HUMBERG Via Facebook

Taxpayer dollars

$283 million bailout to upgrade the schools that they have ignored for more than 30 years. The best part is that they are calling it “tax neutral,” which means we will never have to pay this back. If this is true, why are we even voting on this? I will tell you why: If you borrow $283 million, someone has to pay it back. Guess who that will be? You guessed right; it will be the taxpayers, again. Anyone that thinks that we won’t get stuck with this bill should think again. We have watched for the last 30 years as school districts waste millions of our tax dollars, while the people on top are pulling in six-figure salaries. It is time that they learn to balance their checkbook the way we are expected to, without the taxpayers bailing them out, again. TONY PIGNANELLI, Cottonwood Heights

So, the Canyons school district is asking the voters to approve a

I was reading the Oct. 19 edition, and came across the Soap Box page that allows people to respond to articles. After reading many helpful and interesting comments by the public, I read several comments submitted via Twitter that were unworthy of your paper. When people write out intelligent, well-founded ideas they are a benefit to your readers, but you are aware that some people these days will use social media as a place to rant and belch out idiotic things without reprisal. The ability to hide one’s identity makes people feel that they can say any inflammatory thing and not have to justify their remarks or answer to them. Comments from @genrezero, @fredaschmauch, @carlial921, Carrie Teeter Ewing are

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not of any benefit to the conversation that your writers began, and there is no value in giving them voice, other than sensationalism and vice (loving argument for its own sake.) I hope you will consider your own paper worthy of public discussion that is thoughtful, and give your writers the respect they deserve by publishing comments that are worth discussion. I hope to find many more interesting and worthwhile articles and comments in your publication. CHAD CHRISTENSEN, Sandy

Correction, Opinion, Nov. 2, “Utah Political Lessons”: Though they are giants in their field, required height minimum during the time the writer attempted to join the NYPD was 5-foot-8, not 7-foot-8.

STAFF Publisher JOHN SALTAS Editorial

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OPINION

BY JOHN RASMUSON

Vetting Veterans Day Life, to be sure, Is nothing much to lose, But young men think it is, And we were young.

—A.E. Housman Saturday is Veterans Day. Originally known as Armistice Day, Nov. 11 marks the end of World War I, another generation’s war. Men my grandfather’s age fought in that “war to end all wars.” Nine million soldiers on both sides died before the armistice in 1918. The Greatest Generation fought the Axis powers in World War II. My father was deployed in the South Pacific when I was born. By the war’s end in 1945, at least 15 million soldiers had been killed. Vietnam was the Baby Boomers’ war—my war willy-nilly. It wasn’t abstract like other wars were to me. Vietnam had immediacy. After 1965, it was always in the background but frequently foregrounded on network news. As America’s first televised war and with a soundtrack of machinegun fire and whirring helicopters, the newscasts made the jungle combat real enough. So did a mounting American death toll that eventually reached 58,220. All these years later, Veterans Day gives me pause. Not just because it has been co-opted by retailers, not because of the commander-in-chief’s deplorable treatment of two Gold Star families, but because for me, this Veterans Day is ushered in by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s riveting new documentary, The Vietnam War. I was compelled to watch

the 18-hour film, episode after troubling episode, because Vietnam was a defining event in my life. To watch was to revisit moments either forgotten or suppressed. I struggled to reconcile the film’s historical footage with my fading memory of the 1960s and how it was to be young in the face of war’s existential threat. Reflecting led to thoughts of an old friend, Mike Hughes. I met Hughes at the University at Utah, and we became close friends. We both paid our way with part-time jobs. On Friday nights, we sometimes cruised State Street in his beatup, red Volkswagen, singing along with Mick Jagger on the AM radio. After turning 21, we hit the college bars, hoping to meet girls. Hughes had a boyish disposition, a ready smile and a deadly jump shot. We played tennis at Reservoir Park, golf at Bonneville and the pinball “dinger” at the Pine Cone Lounge in Sugar House. Student deferments enabled our carpe diem lifestyle and kept the draft at arm’s length. Our unease with the escalating war in Vietnam was offset by our calculation that it would end before the Army came for us. We were wrong. In our senior year, the draft looming, self-interest kicked in like a hit of amphetamine. Avoiding a year in combat became an urgent occupation. We rejected a move to Canada, but another option, exploiting the inequalities of the pre-lottery draft, had great appeal. Unfortunately, we had neither the status nor the influence it required. No one we knew had the connections to buck the waiting lists for National Guard and Army Reserve units. Bill Clinton and Donald Trump had benefactors able to jigger the deferment process. We didn’t. Graduation was soon upon us. The ink on our diplomas had barely dried when Hughes and I were dragooned into the Army. A year later, he was killed in a firefight. He was 24. Some would say that Hughes made the ultimate sacrifice while defending the American way of life. You hear that canard a lot on Veterans Day, especially from politicians who have never worn a uniform. That he died because of a poli-

tician’s duplicity is closer to the truth. Lyndon Johnson’s self-serving lies were documented in The Vietnam War. So were Richard Nixon’s. The documentary includes footage of the 1971 Vietnam Veterans Against the War protest when a young John Kerry testified before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee asking, “How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?” “Older men start wars, but younger men fight them,” Albert Einstein observed. You would expect that the wisdom of the elders would privilege the young, not sacrifice them in military adventures like Vietnam. Sen. Jeff Flake’s criticism of Trump’s record made the point directly. “I will not be complicit,” Flake said. “I have children and grandchildren to answer to.” Acting in the interests of future generations is a moral imperative, I believe. On the other hand, I wonder how many of Flake’s progeny will enlist in the Army out of a sense of moral obligation. The draft ended in 1973. Consequently, less than one percent of the population is fighting America’s long wars. The national defense is compartmentalized along class lines. Rich kids aren’t in the fight, which might explain why the Afghanistan counterinsurgency drags on and on. Young soldiers are deployed on successive combat tours. Their sacrifices go unheralded: CNN doesn’t tell their stories. Why? Because of our “reverent but disengaged attitude toward the military,” James Fallows wrote in The Atlantic. “We love the troops, but we’d rather not think about them.” Veterans Day is intended to redress that shortcoming for a single day. Nov. 11 memorializes the armistice of the “war to end all wars.” However, after decimating a generation of young men, WWI not only failed to deliver on its promise, it laid the groundwork for WWII. Irony might be what we’re left with on Nov. 12, but it gives no comfort to either old or young. CW

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CITIZEN REVOLT

BY CECIL ADAMS

In a week, you can CHANGE THE WORLD SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Queen’s English Why are some English names pronounced so differently than they’re spelled? I’m thinking of Churmondley (pronounced “Chumley”) and Featheringstonehaugh (pronounced “Fanshaw”). —Jenny

I almost hate to point out that those two names are actually spelled Cholmondeley and Featherstonehaugh. On the other hand, if you were making a joke about how tricky it can be to spell something as simple-sounding as “Fanshaw,” well—touché. The English language has got some strange orthographic conventions, and our pals across the pond are well aware of the humorous possibilities of such: It was a Brit who famously suggested that, using pronunciation as your guide, it’s possible to spell the word fish g-h-o-t-i. Think on it awhile and you’ll get there. Featherstonehaugh is an extreme example, but the tendency to pronounce a word more succinctly than its spelling would suggest pervades the language in both Britain and North America, particularly when it comes to place names. When was the last time you heard a Canadian, for instance, pronounce all three syllables or the second t in “Toronto”? It’s “Tronno,” more like. The British city from which the Big Apple takes its name, by the by, was originally called Eboracum by Roman founders; later, invading Anglo-Saxons updated that to Evorwic, which the subsequently invading Vikings couldn’t pronounce, so they rechristened it Jorvik, paving the way for the name it has now. With names like Cholmondeley, the simplest explanation is that the pronunciation of words shortens over time—it’s a mark of our familiarity with them. Beyond that it’s hard to stake out a unified theory, particularly since British names often derive from a tangle of mismatched lexical roots, what with all that invading. The elemant haugh, e.g., is from the Old English, denoting a nook or secret place. The -cesters, meanwhile—as in Gloucester, Worcester, et al— come from the Latin castrum, a fort or a town. Worcester—that is, “Wooster”—is already a truncation of what was once spelled Wigoraceaster, the Wigora evidently being a tribe that lived in that particular ceaster. “Wigoraceaster” is a bit of a mouthful; it’s a hell of a lot easier just saying “Wooster.” Ease is essentially what this boils down to: physical laziness, as exhibited in the linguistic phenomenon called vowel reduction. Because it takes more muscle work to clearly enunciate every syllable in a word, English speakers tend to downgrade the vowels in the unstressed syllables (the less-important ones, intelligibility wise) to a single all-purpose sound: the schwa, represented in the International Phonetic Alphabet by an upside-down-e symbol and pronounced (approximately) “uh.” Think

THE

OCHO

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@bill _ frost

TRANSFORMING GLENDALE

about the first a in amazing, the second e in basement, the u in lettuce. Three different vowels, but because the accent doesn’t fall on the syllable they’re in, they come out of our mouths the same: schwa. Hence a second phonetic tendency, schwa deletion: Having reduced your previously distinctive vowel to a generic unstressed vowel, you start skipping that syllable altogether. You see this with words like family, probably or corporate, which many folks pronounce, contra their spelling, with only two syllables. English speakers everywhere share a fondness for eliding their schwas, but the Brits seem particular fans: e.g., the contracted penultimate syllable in a word like secretary. That’s pretty clearly what happened in the Cholmondeley-to-Chumley transition. We can suppose Featherstonehaugh took roughly the same route, though it’s notable that the two-syllable version contains a sh found nowhere in the spelling. What gives? Hazarding a few guesses, the British phonetician Jack Windsor Lewis breaks Featherstonehaugh down to its constituent parts: “featherstone,” likely meaning “an assemblage of four stones”; “haugh,” discussed above. Eventually those shriveled to two syllables: fans-haw, which at some point, Windsor Lewis figures, got transcribed somewhere as “Fanshawe” and subsequently read incorrectly as fan-shaw. The transcription is an important element in this story. Pronunciation changes constantly, while spelling fixes words in time; it’s probably more helpful to think of the phenomenon you’re asking about as a quirk of spelling rather than speaking. English adheres to what the literary scholar Seth Lerer calls “etymological” spelling: Our language “preserves the earlier form of words even when those forms no longer correspond to current speech.” For instance, words like knight and through now sound nothing like they’re spelled— but back in Chaucer’s day they were indeed pronounced “k-nicht” and “throoch,” with a guttural ch as in the Scottish loch. Those who (understandably) bungle a name like Featherstonehaugh might wind up ahead of the curve, though. I point you to Cirencester, an English town whose name for a while had apparently come to be pronounced “Sissitter,” only to expand in more recent usage back to “Siren-sester.”n Send questions via straightdope.com or write c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago, Ill, 60654.

If you think adults have been screwing things up lately, maybe you should take a cue from kids. At the YouthCity Glendale Jane Jacobs Walk, you can join teens to walk around the community, the Jordan River Parkway and 17th South River Park while they discuss creative solutions to transform their neighborhoods and parks. Dress warmly and comfortably to be ready for any inclement weather, and open your mind to the possibilities. In a related venture, Salt Lake City is also engaged in a Girl Scout merit badge initiative (bit.ly/2zwTmve) to develop voices and skills through observation. Salt Lake Public Library, Glendale Branch, 1375 S. Concord St., Thursday, Nov. 9, 4:30-6 p.m., free, bit.ly/2hArBaB

SUSTAINABILITY REALIZED

Everybody talks about sustainability, but what does it actually mean? The concept was outlined in the 1987 United Nations “Brundtland Report” and defines sustainabile development as “development that meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs.” That might seem like a complex issue because it involves economic, social and environmental buy-ins. But at Frontiers of Science: Sustainability Realized, you’ll learn what it is, what it looks like and how it can be attained. Aline Wimot Skaggs Biology Building, University of Utah, Thursday, Nov. 9, 6-8 p.m., free, bit.ly/2zg4QCr

HOMELESS SOLUTIONS

You can never know enough about homelessness. At least in Utah, we are always looking for a way out—for them and for us. While the state and the city have been trying to clean up the Rio Grande area and channel the growing homeless population to appropriate services, it’s been with mixed results. In response, the Utah Foundation is hosting Homelessness: Exploring Solutions, a breakfast discussion with Senate President Wayne Niederhauser, House Speaker Greg Hughes, Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox and Jennifer Steele of the Department of Veterans Affairs to explore what’s working, what’s not and what’s next. State Office Building Auditorium, 350 N. State, first floor, 801-355-1400, Wednesday, Nov. 15, 7:30 a.m., $12/breakfast, conta. cc/2islvbR

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

Eight headlines possibly from defendingutah.org (spot the wacky, Ocho-fied fakes—answers below *):

8. “Best Friends Animal

Society: Saving Animals or Satanic Church?”

7. “State GOP Elites Admit They’re the Utah Illuminati”

6. “‘Womens Day’ in Salt Lake Has Strong Ties to Communist Movement”

5. “Immigration Being Used to Change the Culture”

4. “Legislators from Across the U.S. Meet in Salt Lake to Destroy the Constitution”

3. “Count My Vote: Conspiracy for Utah’s Surrender”

2. “Utah Actually Stopped

Abortions Until This Happened”

1. “Mike Lee Needs Your Help”

* They’re all real.

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

RACHELLE FERNANDEZ

FIVE SPOT

How does the needle-exchange program work?

[Participants] enroll into services and we do a full risk assessment for HIV and HCV. Then people have to turn in at least one, but it’s a one-for-one-plus exchange. If people are there for their first time, they can get up to 30. We just give them all that; they just come in and exchange as often as they need to.

It really has. We went from serving about 200-300 people every Monday and Thursday [and] doing about 2,000 encounters a month ... last month, I billed for 547 encounters. The month of September, maybe if I am lucky, I’ll bill 300 encounters, when we need to bill at least 1,000 to stay alive.

As a woman in recovery, how taxing is running UHRC?

Each one of these people that I have lost—like, I really loved those people. I love people on a very human level, I just can’t help it. It hurts me sometimes; it leaves me very vulnerable to getting hurt. But at the same time, the successes I see make it all worth it. But the thing that’s really the most taxing is being attacked by community members or like law enforcement. That’s really one of the hardest things that starts to get to me.

How is harm reduction a better way to handle addiction than abstinence?

—RACHELLE FERNANDEZ comments@cityweekly.net

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 9

Absolutely. Utah’s behind the times on lots of things. What we’re hearing from a lot of people is, ‘Oh, well, we don’t know what syringe exchange will do. We don’t know the outcome—there’s not enough evidence to support it.’ Syringe exchange has been around almost 40 years—that’s four decades of good, solid peer-reviewed scholarly research on syringe-exchange programs. So we do know the outcome, but a lot of people in Utah just need to see it for themselves. They need to see their worst fears are not coming true.

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Is Utah behind the times when it comes to harm reduction?

One thing people have to understand is that abstinence is on the spectrum of harm reduction. So you know it’s not a battle from harm reduction against abstinence. They really can work together, and the truth is, not everyone is ready to get sober and not everyone can obtain abstinence. I know that we like to say, ‘If you wanted it bad enough, you would do it.’ But that’s just not true. Some people have too much trauma; they don’t have the right coping skills; they don’t have the right temperament; they don’t have the ability to manage really difficult things; and people like that have a really hard time getting sober. So we have to reduce people’s harm. There are people that are still using that just aren’t ready to get sober yet, so do they deserve to be diseased? Do they deserve to lose their limbs, or to be in the hospital and cost taxpayers money because they’re not ready to get sober yet? That’s ridiculous to me.

Has Operation Rio Grande affected the exchange program?

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Before Mindy Vincent became the founder and executive director of the Utah Harm Reduction Coalition (UHRC), she was in the throes of heroin addiction. Her little brother used the substance and she lost her older sister to an opioid overdose. Fearing she’d have to bury another sibling, enough was enough. Vincent started the coalition shortly thereafter. Designed to offer addicts much more than just clean syringes, it also provides resources like access to drug treatment funding, low-to-no-cost HIV and Hepatitis C testing and housing resources.

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HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Shrug

We’ll see where this goes after the less-than-enthusiastic response to the state’s Medicaid waiver was finally approved. Both The Salt Lake Tribune and Deseret News wrote lukewarm editorials supporting the waiver. In other words, it’s better than throwing acid in the faces of the sick and needy. Meanwhile, many Utahns want to see Medicaid expanded but because the Legislature hasn’t made that happen, a stalwart group of citizens is working to put an initiative on the ballot next year to do just that. Still, it’s like screaming into the wind. The “men in charge”—both state and federal— simply don’t get it. Worse yet: “Even if the Medicaid measure wins in 2018, its effects could be short lived if Congress repeals Obamacare,” the Trib wrote.

Elephant in the Room

“I think we all want to elect Republicans,” GOP State Chairman Rob Anderson said. Well, duh. In Utah, you could throw out every single official Republican and their party structure, and Republicans would still be elected. That’s not what SB54 was about. The 2014 law allows candidates to bypass the cozy caucus system and the insiders-only convention to gather names for a ballot presence in the primary. But the state party bickered over continuing a lawsuit to scuttle the law, which was a compromise hardliners don’t like. Now they still face a $330,000 legal bill and an initiative to get rid of the entire caucus-convention system. The GOP elite (they call themselves “grassroots”) wanted to fire Anderson, too, but settled for pressing on with its lawsuit while fighting the new initiative. Apparently, money is no object.

Deep Breath

While Utah can’t bring itself to legislate anything that would clean the air, at least someone is trying to help a smallbut-dirty few. The Utah Clean Air Partnership is offering $1,000 vouchers to 80 households willing to trade their wood-burning stoves or fireplaces for natural gas. There are only an estimated 185,000 wood stoves in Northern Utah, but they pump out 1.7 million pounds of particulate and gas emissions, the Utah Division of Air Quality says. Meanwhile, 13 federal agencies released a report that—once again—definitively says that climate change is human-caused. No, the president doesn’t “believe” it, according to BBC News. But the Utah Museum of Natural History does (it unveiled a video game about balancing population and environment), and so does a panel of conservatives, which, according to the Trib, says the issue is just too scary for Utah leaders.

BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net @dylantheharris

At the climate change seminar, Mayor Biskupski said a shift in Salt Lake City’s dependence on electricity “means we can make a very large dent in that footprint through a singular act of securing clean energy for electricity needs.”

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 11

developments. But for the past 10 years, he said, coal production has also started to dip. “These things are definitely related, there is innovation and a decline in production that has led to a decrease in jobs,” he said. At the same time, the pie-slice representing coal on the U.S. energy profile—while still large—is proportionally smaller because it’s prohibitively expensive. “The reason you see an increase in renewables and an increase in natural gas is because it is cheaper,” Teigen said. “Almost nobody is building coal plants in the United States.” Many rural communities that house pristine public lands in their backyards are trying to diversify, Teigen claimed, without becoming tourist magnets in the vein of Moab. “A lot of these communities are positioned to bounce back from some of those job losses that they’ve experienced in the past 20 or so years,” he said. University of Utah professor Bill Anderegg, who talked about the risks and opportunities presented by climate change, said renewable energy needs to be marketed as an economic winner. Efforts to curb climate change don’t need to be an affront to rural jobs. A larger hurdle might require untangling climate change from partisan

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“This seemed like bad news because it means our electricity portfolio is very fossil-fuel dependent,” Biskupski said. “But it also means we can make a very large dent in that footprint through a singular act of securing clean energy for electricity needs. That is exactly what we are doing right now.” The city passed a joint resolution in July 2016 pledging to upgrade city facilities so that by 2020 half of the power will come from clean-energy sources, transition all community electricity supply to renewable sources by 2032, and reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 80 percent by 2040. “These are ambitious goals, but they are achievable,” Biskupski said. When Salt Lake City announced its plan, it was one of only a handful of cities across the nation to make that commitment. Now more than 150 mayors have signed on. Historically, buy-in has been most difficult in rural communities that have deep-ties to the coal industry. Shawn Teigen, vice president and research director at Utah Foundation, presented figures on Utah’s coal counties. In 1981, coal mining jobs peaked but have decreased since. At first, he discovered, the drop in jobs was conversely aligned with a rise in production because of new technological

oughly 50 percent of Salt Lake City’s carbon footprint comes from electricity use, according to Mayor Jackie Biskupski, who spoke as a panelist at a climate change seminar Nov. 3. The discussion, organized by the Utah Citizens’ Counsel and the University of Utah’s Global Change and Sustainability Center, featured several experts and influencers. Speakers outlined the problems posed by the warming climate, shared some strategies to counter its effects, and addressed the tactic of engaging in productive conversation about climate change that avoids polemics. Biskupski focused on what the city aims to do in light of its enormous reliance on electricity from non-sustainable sources.

politics. Utah, statewide, is deeply red; and out of political arguments, a battle often emerges about traditional beliefs. A majority of its population identify as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—the only major religion not to sign on to the Paris climate agreement, Biskupski noted. (President Donald Trump announced last summer that he intended to pull the U.S. from the same climate accord.) Brigham Young University professor and member of the LDS faith George Handley said, however, Mormon doctrine aligns with values such as sustainability. “Mormonism is very earth-centered in its theology, and it has some of the most explicit teachings about stewardship that you could possibly hope for,” Handley said. In his lectures to other scholars, Handley said he is approached by non-Mormons afterward who are “confounded why Mormons aren’t right at the very forefront of environmental activism.” Handley cited Mormon scripture that admonishes the faith to use natural resources judiciously, to refrain from waste, to eat fruits and vegetables in season—Handley interprets this as a mandate to eat locally—and to eat meat sparingly, “which has a lot to do with how we affect the climate,” he said. CW

Mayor says plans to shift toward clean energy are ambitious, achievable.

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Local notables grade Trump’s presidency (so far). By Dylan Woolf Harris • dwharris@cityweekly.net • @dylantheharris

olitics aside, Donald Trump’s presidency is peculiar. Sounding a Twitter bullhorn, POTUS isn’t one to walk away from an internet spat, no matter how low a road he must travel to get there. The media is a conspicuous target for Trump, and his unending use of the phrase “fake news”—a conflation of actual false stories that had spread on social media last year and coverage that he doesn’t appreciate—has lifted that term into the national lexicon. If that’s not aberrant, ask yourself this: When’s the last time a trio of former staffers were indicted on felony charges? All this, of course, while rumors swirl that his

Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski Grade: F

“My grade is not based on politics or on the many issues I disagree with Donald Trump. Trump has earned an F due to: His inability to effectively work with Congress on his legislative agenda, The federal courts blocking so many of his major executive orders due to their unconstitutionality, Consistent attempts to discredit the media, Uncivil Twitter rants, Abysmal foreign relations, Stoking and justifying racism and sexism And inconsistent hurricane responses between states he won and a territory he didn’t.”

Rep. Mike Winder, R-Salt Lake City Grade: B-

“On the one hand, he didn’t denounce white supremacy fast enough, his Twitter storms divide not unite, scores of key posts remain vacant, and he hasn’t led any big legislative wins through Congress yet. On the other hand, conservatives are being appointed to courts, regulations are being cut, the stock markets have boomed to record highs, unemployment is the lowest in 16 years, consumer confidence is the highest it’s been since 2000, and if the Republican Congress actually does their job, President Trump is standing by to sign their bills into law.”

Sen. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross Grade: D-

“Although there have been glimmers of greatness in speeches like the one he delivered in Las Vegas, I would give Trump a D- because of his frequent pettiness and his inability to get any major legislation passed.” The same day Weiler replied to CW, he also tweeted out this observation: “Realizing today that every child born this month was conceived while Trump was POTUS.” So the unofficial midterm report card is in: he’s earned four F’s, a D-, a B- and the governor’s incomplete. The composite score is roughly a 59 percent failing grade. Making America great again, turns out, is hard work. But, unless Freshman Trump is booted out of office or decides he’d rather return to reality TV, he’ll have three more years (seven if he is elected to a second term!) to study and apply himself.

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 13

President Trump deserves an F, because rather than thinking about the American people, he’s more concerned about putting on a show. The President of the United States should represent the people, not special interests. The President of the United States should bring people together, not target people because of their race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, country of origin, ability, gender or gender identity. Our country is at its best when we work together; President Trump is not interested in the type of collaboration that founded this great nation.

“Three words: Bears Ears desecration.”

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Rep. Angela Romero, D-Salt Lake City Grade: F

Sen. Jim Dabakis, D-Salt Lake City Grade: F

Through his communication team, Utah’s GOP governor declined to give a letter grade and pointed City Weekly to a news conference last month for his remarks about Trump’s “erratic” presidency. “He’s done some good things, some of the appointments he’s made. I support his appointment to the Supreme Court, Judge Gorsuch. I appreciate the fact he’s appointed a number of governors to positions. Nikki Haley is ambassador to the United Nations. Rick Perry, energy [secretary]. Mike Pence, you know, is the vice president, who’s a good friend of mine. Sonny Perdue, agriculture: All governors. So he’s—I think he’s done some good things with his appointments. “He has a hard time not addressing a thousand issues when he ought to be focused on five. He gets distracted with some of the other things that happen, some of the criticism. From that standpoint, I think he could sharpen his game a little bit by focusing more on the more important issues and let the other stuff slide. “So he’s done some good things, he’s done some things I think he could improve upon. And not to give him an excuse but this is his first time to do this. Running a government is different than running a business. It’s nice to have some of those business practices and an understanding of the free-market capitalistic system we have in America, that’s good news. But it’s not a dictatorship.”

Salt Lake City Councilman Charlie Luke Grade: F

Gov. Gary Herbert Grade: N/A

Public opinion polls show his approval ratings are tanking, recently sinking to 33 percent in one Gallup study. But, as Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders points out, polls also indicated Trump would get trounced in the electoral college, and they were dead wrong. When City Weekly reached out to local newsmakers to ask them how they’d assess the year since the 2016 election, a mixed bag was expected. Perhaps it’s telling, though, that even in our hyperpartisan clime, it was much more difficult to get local Republicans to play along. When they did, the support for Trump was tepid and qualified. Those who align with the opposite side of the aisle appeared more eager to weigh in and were clear in their disapproval.

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“The president should first and foremost inspire and unite our country. Since he took office, we have seen a spread of divisiveness by the current administration’s policies and, more regrettably, aggressive tweets. Fear and blame are not sustainable ways to govern. My hope is in the coming year, promised policies like financial investment in infrastructure and tackling the opioid crisis will become the focus over 140-character attacks.”

campaign was in cahoots with the Russian government. And while “different” doesn’t categorically mean “bad,” only the few times when Trump hasn’t demonstrated his quirks have pundits described him as “presidential.” But, hey look, the stock market is soaring, which people like Trump have credited to Trump. And his Supreme Court Justice pick, Neil Gorsuch, was confirmed—a feather in the president’s cap that GOPers cite as a major accomplishment. So when considering his disposition and the benchmarks he and his ilk taut, how is Trump performing as president? And how did he comport himself as presidentelect before that?

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14 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

Our Institutions Will Not Save Us Let history and the 25th Amendment inform efforts on impeachment. By Baynard Woods

comments@cityweekly.net @baynardwoods

hortly after Donald Trump took office, there was a rash of hot takes by “resistance” pundits like Keith Olbermann explaining how a majority of the cabinet could constitutionally remove Trump from office. Cue the 25th Amendment: Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President. A close analogy to the current scenario was when Louisiana attempted to remove Gov. Earl Long, another populist and the brother of the notorious Huey Long, due to mental unfitness. Some people say the reason was his affair with fa-

mous Baltimore stripper Blaze Starr, but late journalist A.J. Liebling’s spectacular profile shows how much of it had to do with his nascent attempts to introduce something like civil rights into the deeply Southern state. At any rate, Long’s wife and others committed him to the state mental hospital in 1959, but he was able to get out by firing the director and hiring another. He retained power. Throughout history, seven other governors were removed from office after being convicted of high crimes—the most recent being Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich in 2009. Currently, given that Russia fever has intensified, the national conversation has veered toward impeachment. Or even, in the most ridiculous cases popularized by gullible internet sleuths like Louise Mensch and Claude Taylor, sealed indictments. In any case, over the past year, leftists have started loving the FBI. And what a year it’s been since the dark night when the Democrats lost to Trump. Now, still lacking a serious vision, Democrats might use the promise of impeachment as an election strategy to try to take the House in 2018. It’s good to believe in the strength of our institutions and to think they might be stronger than the people who enact them. But it’s also foolhardy not to recognize that our institutions brought us Trump in the first place and that they are helmed by a bunch of shitheels more concerned about their own power than about the country. Let’s just step back and think about precisely who we are hoping might carry out these actions. In the case of impeachment, you are essentially placing your hopes in Paul Ryan and one of the most noxious Republican congresses imaginable. Remember how much courage Ryan showed about Trump’s sexist, racist and authoritarian remarks during the campaign? Yeah, me neither. Now, if Ryan could also impeach Pence, well, then maybe he would consider it—it would be his ascent to power as third in line to the presidency. But any committed Republican knows that if you were to impeach a sitting president, his vice would be doomed, forever associated with the high crimes and misdemeanors of the impeached POTUS. Even if Dems manage to take back the House—and they won’t—they would turn an impeachment into a political war, and the Senate, which they almost certainly will not regain, would not vote to convict. Like the impeachment of Bill Clinton, it would be a hollow victory. Also, the Democrats are nothing if not cowards. When Trump dissed John Lewis before the inauguration, plenty of Democrats lauded the Georgia congressman’s heroism 50 years earlier, but not a single one of them was willing to be arrested. During health care protests, Dems watched as people were dragged from their assistive devices without stepping in to risk their own bodies in the way that courageous activists would. As for the 25th Amendment, our chances are even worse. Yes, Rex Tillerson probably called Trump a “fucking moron.” But that does not mean he is going to save you. Neither will the generals. Seriously, look at what you’re thinking if you believe military figures can save us. What about Jeff Sessions or Betsy DeVos? When you invoke the 25th Amendment, these are the people you are counting on. These are the people to whom you are abdicating your political will and conscience. Covering Trump and the so-called Resistance for the past year, I’ve learned one thing: If we really want to stop Trump, it is up to us. He is betting that

By Kelly Kenoyer

comments@cityweekly.net @kenoyerkelly

e’re taking a stand: It’s time to impeach Donald Trump. There are myriad reasons to do so: the looming threat of nuclear war with North Korea; the embarrassment of having a “tweeter-in-chief;” the terrible, amoral example he sets for the children of this nation; numerous allegations of sexual assault and his unwillingness to denounce white supremacists—emboldening the worst elements of our country. Let’s not fail to mention his constant unconstitutional behavior by not extricating himself from business ventures— meaning he is taking money from foreign powers and thus violating the emoluments clause of the Constitution. Added to this, are a recent series of indictments (and a guilty plea!) of shady people in-

volved in his campaign for charges of tax evasion and making false statements. So we know why we need to impeach him, but the real question is how? Here’s what you can do. Head to impeachdonaldtrumpnow.org and sign the petition urging Congress to move toward impeaching Donald Trump. Why impeach? According to the Impeach Trump Now website, “The nation is now witnessing a massive corruption of the presidency, far worse than Watergate.” The nonprofit’s case for impeachment states: “President Trump’s personal and business holdings in the United States and abroad present unprecedented conflicts of interest. Indeed, President Trump has admitted he has conflicts of interest in some cases.”

You can also call or send a postcard to your local representative demanding action. And use social media to spread the message: #ImpeachWeek and #YoureFired. Take the #YoureFired challenge with the Impeach Donald Trump Now campaign. Film a 5- to 45-second video telling Trump “You’re Fired,” then share it to social media and tag five friends to challenge them to do the same. You can also sign an impeachment petition, spearheaded by environmentalist Tom Steyer, at needtoimpeach.com. As pointed out before, this is a matter of mass mobilization. Get out on the front lines. The nightmare won’t end until we wake up. Kelly Kenoyer is an investigative reporter at Eugene Weekly.

Let’s make a deal with Mike Pence

A plan for succession. By Bob Keefer

comments@cityweekly.net @bkpix

tion survived one of its worst political crises ever. Could that happen with Pence? On the surface, the vice president seems clean of the cesspool of corruption that surrounds Trump. But he’s already been sucked into parroting the web of lies coming out of the White House. If he made the mistake of repeating any of those lies to the Justice Department’s special counsel Robert Mueller, it might be time to play Let’s Make a Deal. Bob Keefer is arts editor at Eugene Weekly. On Jan. 21, 2017, he took part in a political demonstration for the first time since Nixon invaded Cambodia in 1970.

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 15

House to another crook, conceivably as bad or worse. The whole idea stank. The solution was a plea deal for Agnew and a job offer for Gerald Ford, a moderate, respected Republican without a whiff of corruption. Under the 1973 deal, Agnew resigned the vice presidency, paid a $10,000 fine and got probation but no jail time on a tax-evasion charge. Other charges were dropped. Ten months later, Nixon appointed Ford to the vice presidency—with the understanding that, as the new president, Ford would pardon Nixon from criminal charges in Watergate—which he did. When it was all said and done, the na-

| CITY WEEKLY |

But what about Pence?

That’s the question everyone asks when you bring up impeaching President Donald Trump. If Trump were to leave office before the end of his term, Mike Pence would become president—and that would mean a competent ultra-right-winger, possibly himself a crook, sitting in the White House in place of the current corrupt fool. Look to recent history for a succession plan. In the final days of Richard Nixon’s administration, people had the same concerns about Vice President Spiro Agnew, who was under investigation for bribery and corruption charges going back years. Removing one crook from office—Nixon—meant giving the White

Baynard Woods is the founder of Democracy in Crisis and a reporter and editor at The Real News.

Sign the petition and call your congressional reps. Let’s impeach Donald Trump.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

the constant stream of outrage will wear us down and make us quit caring, as has happened in Putin’s Russia. And it is exhausting. But instead of sinking into the private sphere, putting our heads down and hoping we make it through, we can begin to stop the private sphere from functioning, we can invade it and disrupt ordinary life. We can make the country quit working and thereby force the establishment to work for us. Back when Neil Gorsuch was first nominated, I talked to writer Lawrence Weschler, who covered the Solidarity movement in Poland in the 1980s and has seen the people bring down a regime. He argued that the only solution is mass mobilization. “We all need to start training for civil disobedience,” he said. “We have to have people being arrested everywhere … 500 a day arrested at the Congress, arrested at the Supreme Court, arrested at the White House.” Weschler argued that it can’t just be the political activists of antifa or Black Lives Matter getting arrested, but “everybody who attended the Women’s March.” “If you want to normalize something, it’s got to be a thing that 30 years from now your grandchildren will look at you and say, ‘Did you at least let yourself get arrested?’” he said. If we start to flood the jails in large numbers, something will happen. It might not happen because of all of the training and organizing—but it also would not happen without it. As with Solidarity or the Arab Spring, something will happen and it will be the spark to the wood we have been stacking. At that moment, you will either be there or not. You will be with us or you will be with Trump. Those are the only choices—not only for us but also for the members of Congress, the cabinet secretaries, the generals and the FBI agents we have been fantasizing about for the past year. They will do nothing unless we force them. And in that force, we could not only depose a mad president, but also reclaim our democracy. Or claim it, even, for the first time. If we do not do this, there will be more battles in the street. There will be doom.

You’re Fired!

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16 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

Songs of Protest, Songs of Hope

Tap your toes to this national alt-roundup of anti-Trump songs.

he one good thing about Trump, is that he’s made time slow down. As we get older, every year seems to pass more quickly than the last in the rush toward death. But Trump’s regime has slowed all of that down, and the year since that dark night when he was elected has felt as long as any since high school. As in high school, this slow-moving, but insanely intense, sense of time has seemed to heighten contemporary music’s emotional impact. When a song rings right and seems to express the horror and angst that emanates from the world around you, it feels glorious. The following collection comes from the music editors of more than 20 publications. Writing a regular column about the Trump regime for a number of alt-weeklies—and trying to find ways to take “alt” back from the Nazis—I ended up talking to a lot of editors and writers around the country. We thought if we could bring together the best protest songs from as many cities as possible, we might learn something about the state of dissent—while also finding some relief. —Baynard Woods

fingers and offering a blues-based, punkrock invitation to fellatio. And maybe also, as the final, snarling chord slides into silence, calling him a “fat baby fuckface.” —Randy Harward, City Weekly

Dooley, Lor Roger and TLow, ““CIT4DT” Baltimore, Md.

This Boosie-tinged Thee Donald diss from Baltimore that dropped long before Inauguration Day still thrills: “Boy ain’t even white, you yellow/ You said you’d date your own daughter you a sicko.” Stakes are high here, too—the mastermind behind it, Dooley, is Muslim for example—and rightwing semi-fascist snowflakes took the song totally seriously, denounced it as a “death threat” (“CIT4DT” stands for “chopper in the trunk for Donald Trump”) and bemoaned its Baltimore origins, where protest morphed into property damage and, as far as a lot of us were concerned, verged gloriously on revolution. Meanwhile, the trio responsible for it thought the shit was hilarious. —Brandon Soderberg, Baltimore Beat

Trombone Shorty and Dumpstaphunk, “Justice” Keith Morris, “What Happened to Your Party?” New Orleans, La. Trombone Shorty and Dumpstaphunk Charlottesville, Va. teamed up on a song called “Justice,” Known to at least one of his fellow musicians as “our rockin’ protest grouch in chief,” Keith Morris has a slew of protest songs, such as “Psychopaths & Sycophants,” “Prejudiced & Blind” and “Brownsville Market” from his Dirty Gospel album, plus “Blind Man,” “Peaceful When You Sleep” and “Border Town” from Love Wounds & Mars. His latest release: “What Happened to Your Party?” —Erin O’Hare, C-VILLE Weekly

Thunderfist, “Suck It” (demo) Salt Lake City, Utah

Sure, there are more articulate ways to denounce Trump. And revolution by example—countering blustery, bigoted bullshit with artfully composed, well-reasoned takedowns—is how we’ll effect change. That doesn’t mean we can’t occasionally vent our rage by strapping on Les Pauls, cranking up Marshalls, raising middle

which they released on the day Donald Trump was inaugurated president. A melange of funk, jazz and New Orleans brass band sounds, the video for “Justice” slyly marries video footage of Trump against pointed lyrics. “Inauguration day seemed to be an appropriate time to voice the need for equal say and opportunity for all people,” Dumpstaphunk’s Ivan Neville says. “We entered a New Year with a lot of unanswered questions on the subject of ‘justice’ that we all felt a little uneasy about. But there’s only so much we can do and this track is our way of expressing our worries.” The song is available on most streaming services.—Kevin Allman, Gambit Weekly

Lonely Horse, “Devil in the White House” San Antonio, Texas

Shots fired! Lonely Horse came out gunsa-blazing with the track “Devil in the White

House.” Opening with a sludgy cadence that crescendos into a tumultuous rock ‘n’ roll explosion, the “desert rock” duo of Nick Long and Travis Hild make very clear their feelings about the 45th POTUS.—Chris Conde, San Antonio Current

Anti-Flag, “When The Wall Falls” Pittsburgh, Pa.

Anti-Flag has always been a band that prioritizes the political, crafting catchy punk music that rallies the opposition to oppression and bigotry. “When the Wall Falls” off their latest, American Fall, is just one of 11 songs that urge resistance. “When The Wall Falls” is a reminder that not one American is free as long as any one is oppressed: “If they come for you in the night, they will come for me in the morning.” —Meg Fair, City Paper

Mal Jones, J. Blacco, Lost Firstborne and DJ Shotgun CODE RED “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” Jacksonville, Fla.

“We came up with this song after all of the recent acquittals in the cases related to the steadily rising murders of unarmed black men in the hands of law enforcement in America,” Jones says. “We wanted to protest about this issue in the most effective way we know how. Through song. Hands up don’t shoot!” “My inspiration for writing my verse was first the climate of events going on at the time,” Blocco adds. “It was right after the Alton Sterling situation. When my man Lost Firstborne played the beat, that’s just what the track was speaking to me. It had a haunting soulful vibe about it so once I heard it, everything flowed rather easily.” —Claire Goforth, Folio Weekly

Lingua Franca, “A Man’s World” Athens, Ga.

Shortly after Inauguration Day, two Athens studios invited 19 local bands to commemorate the dawn of the Trump Age, tracking 20 songs in a marathon 48-hour session. While much of the resulting album, Athens Vs. Trump Comp 2017, is suitably bleak, ascendant emcee Lingua Franca’s “A Man’s World” stands

out for its sheer defiance. “Frenzied and indiscreet,” it’s a fiery feminist anthem for the resistance.—Gabe Vodicka, Flagpole Magazine

OG Swaggerdick, “Fuck Donald Trump” Boston, Mass.

Among diehard hip-hop heads as well as artists, Boston’s underground rap scene is renowned as one of the most lyrically elaborate and intellectual anywhere. To that end, over the past year, such acts as STL GLD (Moe Pope and The Arcitype) and more recently The Perceptionists (Mr. Lif amd Akrobatik) have released their most compelling works to date, largely inspired by the mess that Donald Trump has made (though not always name-checking Dolt 45 directly). But when it comes to straightup protesting and verbally impaling the potty-mouthed POTUS, there’s something undeniably satisfying, even admirable, about the Hub’s own OG Swaggerdick’s simple and straightforward election anthem, “Fuck Donald Trump.” From the fittingly filthy rhymes—”never give props to a punk ass trick/ motherfuck Donald Trump he can suck my dick”—to the strangers on the street who gladly join along in rapping in the video, they’re protest lyrics that you’ll still be able to remember and perhaps even rap for relief on occasions when the president leaves you otherwise speechless.—Chris Faraone, DigBoston

Clint Breeze and The Groove, “Blood Splatter” Indianapolis, Ind.

Featuring over a dozen guest contributors, including poets, rappers and jazz musicians, Nappy Head weaves a phantasmagoric assemblage of words and sounds into a razor-sharp critique of racial oppression in modern America. “I wanted to symbolize the state of oppression that black people experience every day. From not getting fair treatment in the justice system, to getting shot and killed by law enforcement, to being unfairly treated in the workforce—you name it. I wanted to make a statement on how we as black people view this oppressive society that we live in. I also wanted to give a different perspective from white people. I have a couple of my friends who are white on the album speaking about

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the nature of white privilege,” Breeze says. “Blood Splatter” is the record’s most cutting track; featuring spoken word artist Too Black, with cascading cymbal cracks and careening sax.—Kyle Long and Katherine Coplen, NUVO Weekly

The After Lashes, “We the Sheeple” Coachella Valley, Calif.

NODON, “Alt-Wrong” Burlington, Vt.

NODON are an anti-fascist, anti-hate power-punk duo born out of the 2016 presidential election. Seething with caustic epithets, their songs condemn xenophobia, sexism, homophobia, white supremacy and, above all, President Donald Trump. “Alt-Wrong,” from their 2017 EP, Covfefe, delivers a swift and vicious kick to the alt-right’s figurative crotch. Over razor-sharp guitar riffs and seething drums, they scream their battle cry: “Annihilate this hate! Not right! Alt-wrong!” —Jordan Adams, Seven Days

Both exclusively on

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Rmllw2llz, “So Amerikkkan” Louisville, Ky.

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 17

Nationwide, when you think of the Louisville music scene, your mind probably bounces to My Morning Jacket, Bonnie “Prince” Billy or maybe even White Reaper—all who are great—but our city’s hiphop scene is packed with poignant artists, and if you’re looking for a pure protest song, look no further than Rmllw2llz’s “So Amerikkkan,” where he says “Fuck Trump, he’s a bum and Hillary’s trash, too.” The song was released a few months ago, but, if you give it a listen, you can hear a lot of the country’s past, present and future angst packed into a few powerful minutes. —Scott Recker, Leo Weekly CW

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There’s been no shortage of scathing political protest songs coming out of D.C. since, well, the birth of punk. But in recent years, post-punk quartet Priests have succeeded in reminding the rest of the country that D.C. is, and always has been, pissed the fuck off. “Right Wing,” off the band’s breakthrough EP Bodies and Control and Money and Power so perfectly captures the ass-backwardsness of living in a country controlled by capitalists, fascists, racists and war-mongers. “Everything everything/ So right wing/ Everything everything/ So right wing/ Purse searches, pep rallies/ Purse searches, SUVs,” Katie Alice Greer sings. It reads like

On their 2017 debut EP Home, Columbia’s Withdraw oscillate violently between bristling, pedal-to-the floor emo (think At the Drive-In) and brutal, clawing crust punk. And on “Disgust,” the band proves the virtue of their versatility, shifting from an unflinchingly blackened hardcore blitz that bashes sexual abusers to a more expansive, anthemic coda that seeks to lift up the victims—”You are not tarnished!” It’s a potent statement, a searing declaration of allyship in a musical realm more often derided for problematic gender politics. —Jordan Lawrence, Free Times

Priests, “Right Wing” Washington, D.C.

Withdraw, “Disgust” Columbia, S.C.

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The After Lashes is a new all-female punk band from the Coachella Valley that features Ali Saenz, the wife of former Dwarves and Excel drummer Greg Saenz. Frontwoman Esther Sanchez explains the inspiration behind the band’s song “We the Sheeple.” “‘We the Sheeple’ was an easy song to write, because it came from a place of frustration and growing resentment toward the current powers that be, and, of course, more specifically, Donald Trump,” she says. “We have a president who calls anything he doesn’t like ‘fake news’ while simultaneously spending an insane amount of time tweeting nonsense and lies like a crazy person. “The policies he intends to establish are harmful to pretty much everyone who is not wealthy; unfortunately, so many who voted for him were unknowingly voting against their own best interests. The song is very much about uniting against a tyrant, because that is precisely what we believe Trump to be.”—Brian Blueskye, Coachella Valley Independent

a short, poetic treatise on how the toxicity of right wing ideals infects everyday life. —Matt Cohen, Washington City Paper

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18 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

Christmas in the Wizarding World

Every year around this time, mall lines expand, Amazon orders soar and, along with the busyness, tension runs high. Few people would list shopping as a fun experience they look forward to. But The Shops at South Town is determined to change all that with Christmas in the Wizarding World. The first event of its kind opens this year in several cities, combining elements of holiday shopping, winter festivities and J.K. Rowling’s beloved Harry Potter series. Several mall retailers offer items Rowling created for her wizarding world, many of which, can’t be found anywhere else, according to The Shops at South Town Marketing Manager Heather Nash. Among them are Honeydukes-style confections, Ollivander’s-inspired wands and much more, from both Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Games like an interactive Quaffle Toss, animated windows and photo opportunities add to the magic, creating an immersive—and fun—shopping experience available nowhere else in the state. Plus, since the festivities run through January, “There really is an opportunity for everyone to come down to experience Christmas in the Wizarding World without feeling like they have to be there the first weekend,” Nash says. But that’s not even the best part. “We invested the additional dollars so people could come for free,” Nash says. So come enjoy the gratis Potter experience, and get your holiday shopping out of the way. (Casey Koldewyn) Christmas in the Wizarding World @ The Shops at South Town, 10450 S. State, Sandy, 801-572-1517, through Jan. 31, free, theshopsatsouthtown.com

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

LISA MARIE MAZZUCCO

CHRIS CALLOR

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS

THURSDAY 11/9

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, NOV. 9-15, 2017

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ESSENTIALS

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FRIDAY 11/10

TUESDAY 11/14

WEDNESDAY 11/15

Seeing your city in a whole new light isn’t something many people have the opportunity to do. Now, Illuminate Salt Lake is bringing together artists and performers to radically change downtown for just two evenings. Food, drinks, live music, light shows, art installations and much more will transform the city into a technological wonderland. Derek Dyer, executive director of the Utah Arts Alliance, describes the festival as “a free two-day community art event and a celebration of innovation and imagination for the community, art lovers and families.” He also says he’s excited “to see the community get together and experience light art” at this diverse festival. More than 50 artists will use lights and technology to build installations and perform at venues including The Gateway, Eccles Theater and the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art. To enhance the experience, festival goers can download the new Illuminate AR app onto their smartphone, allowing them to alter the existing exhibits and view virtual artworks. Illuminate Salt Lake promises a familyfriendly celebration, as well. A Light Lab at Discovery Gateway, educational demonstrations at Clark Planetarium, the Utah Film Center’s showing of Tumbleweeds Lite and a children’s music festival are among the great all-ages options. After the kids go to bed on the second night, enjoy a ticketed after-party at the Grand Hall at The Gateway: The After Glo Party, a 21-and-up-event, features DJs and performers as well as more light-based art. (David Miller) Illuminate Salt Lake @ various locations, Nov. 10-11, 5-10 p.m., free; special ticketed events $25-$100, illuminatesaltlake.org

What happens when a magic act goes too well? That’s the idea behind David Kranes’ new novel Abracadabra. It begins with Mark Goodson, a seemingly well-adjusted man who is a participant in a Las Vegas magic show where he is made to disappear—but doesn’t reappear. That vanishing act unfolds into what Kranes describes as “events which are mysterious to the central character.” That character is Elko Wells, a former professional football player who manages a missing-persons detective agency as well as a celebrity-impersonator business. Wells suffered a career-ending concussion, which also gave him the abilities to hear voices and recognize patterns. Those unique talents assist him in his search for Goodson, where he’s also hepled by a group of cocktail waitresses called “The Bloody Marys.” Kranes—the award-winning writer of short stories including the Pushcart Prize-winner Cordials and nationally produced plays—has served as the artistic director of the Sundance Playwright Lab for 14 years, and also taught at the University of Utah. The inspiration for Abracadabra, his first noir novel, was built on Kranes’ fascination with what he calls “dream space,” or “the mix of possible and impossible is part of the attraction of a magic show.” While he’s embarking on a new genre, the author says he already has two other novel ideas featuring Elko Wells to continue his story. Unlike Goodson, he won’t be disappearing any time soon. (Benjamin Benally) David Kranes: Abracadabra @ The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801484-9100, Nov. 15, 7 p.m., places in signing line reserved for those who purchase a copy of the book, kingsenglish.com

Classical music isn’t for sissies or snobs, and Pacifica Quartet can prove it. Formed in 1994, this Bloomington, Ind.-based ensemble is internationally acclaimed as one of the finest chamber quartets in the world, thanks to its fusion of Beethoven, Brahms, Mendelssohn and Shostakovich and daring new works by some of today’s most remarkable young composers. They certainly have the kudos to show for it—among them, various Grammys and a host of prestigious awards representing the highest achievements in classical creativity. Consequently, any performance by this well-seasoned foursome—Guy Ben-Ziony (viola), Austin Hartman (violin), Simin Ganatra (violin) and Brandon Vamos (cello)—becomes a remarkable experience for those who savor strings, or anyone seeking to expand their musical parameters. Each member of the quartet is an individual virtuoso, and together, their deft execution, sweeping arrangements and sheer daring have dazzled audiences. For their upcoming appearance, the group is scheduled to perform three works, a program that Vamos promises will provide a variety of moods and motifs. “The Haydn quartet is one of my favorites,” he says of the first. “It’s full of wit and humor and great surprises.” The second, Shostakovich’s third quartet, he describes as “an epic journey for the listener.” Vamos calls the final selection, Beethoven’s 59, No. 3 “a real masterpiece ... an exciting and energetic fugue.” And who doesn’t appreciate a good fugue? Classical music doesn’t get classier than this. (Lee Zimmerman) Pacifica Quartet @ Libby Gardner Concert Hall, 1395 Presidents Circle, Nov. 15, 7:30 p.m., $10-$30, tickets.utah.edu

Illuminate Salt Lake

David Kranes: Abracadabra

Pacifica Quartet

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NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 19

Rebel Rebel BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

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n 1943, during the Nazi occupation of Norway, a group of actors in residence at the Norwegian National Theatre found themselves faced with a dilemma. The acting cultural ministers launched a playwriting contest, which led to the creation of an unabashedly anti-Semitic play titled The Last Scream. Upon receiving scripts for this piece of Nazi propaganda, the acting company wrestled with the decision to either perform the play regardless of its hateful message, or refuse, which could lead to their arrest and possible execution. This often-overlooked tale from the annals of World War II history fascinated local playwright and retired theater professor Eric Samuelsen when he was completing his dissertation more than 30 years ago, and has since become a passion project that sees its debut this week as Plan-B Theatre Co.’s The Ice Front. “In every sense, this play is an act of love and collaboration,” Samuelsen says, “And this group of artists is one that I’m really honored to be able to work with.” Samuelsen’s interest in both Norway and theater was initially sparked by his father, Roy, who grew up there and pursued a career as an opera singer. “My father was in Norway during the Nazi occupation,” Samuelsen says. “His first public performances were singing and playing guitar in air raid shelters.” Throughout high school, Samuelsen was involved in theater. He eventually served an LDS mission to Norway, where he learned the language and became enamored with his heritage culture. After earning a bachelor’s degree at BYU and a Ph.D. from Indiana University, he joined BYU’s Theatre and Media Arts program as a professor in 1992. In 2004, Samuelsen started writing for Plan-B Theatre Co., which kicked off a longrunning collaboration with Jerry Rapier, the company’s artistic director. “We did a call for playwrights for our first SLAM 24hour theater festival, and Eric submitted,” Rapier recalls. “We liked what he wrote so much that we developed it into a fulllength play called Miasma, which we produced in 2006.” Rapier, who also directs The Ice Front, first became aware of Samuelsen’s idea during Plan-B’s monthly playwright lab. Rapier loved the concept of the play, but wasn’t sure they could produce it because of the size of the cast—but that was before Donald Trump won the presidential election. “[Plan-B managing director] Cheryl

JERRY RAPIER

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THEATER Eric Samuelsen’s The Ice Front explores morality in Nazi-Occupied Norway.

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Cluff and I asked each other how we should respond as a socially conscious company, and we made two decisions,” Rapier says. “One was to create our (in)divisible project, and the other was to produce Eric’s play. It felt prescient last November, and this November it feels prophetic.” Though Samuelsen came up with the idea of the play 30 years ago, he admits that the timing is rather appropriate. “I figured the play would open right in the middle of the hyper-competent, mildly progressive first term of Hillary Clinton, but, boy, did that not happen,” he jokes. “The Nazi political philosophy was fundamentally racist, and I really think there’s a parallel. Not everyone who voted for Trump is a white supremacist; but every white supremacist voted for Trump.” Samuelsen also notes that the Nazis’ decision to leave the Norwegian National Theatre open during their occupation was part of a strategy to normalize their cause, which reminds us of our president’s milquetoast reaction to the alt-right rally in Charlottesville earlier this year. “It’s pure serendipity, but from the decision to go ahead with the play last summer, finishing the final draft and starting rehearsals, it just seems more and more relevant today,” Samuelsen says. The Ice Front is dedicated to Samuelsen’s father, who passed away only a few months ago. “My father was encouraging this project from the beginning, and this past summer, my dad would call me every night and ask about my progress,” Samuelsen

The cast of Plan-B Theatre Co.’s The Ice Front

says. “He’d add some wonderful bits of wisdom, and it brought us closer than we had ever been. It’s hard that he won’t be able to see the play, but I’m really grateful that we had this wonderful thing to connect over in the last few weeks of his life.” From a larger perspective, the play represents the dichotomy between doing what is safe and doing what is right, but that message is all the more poignant considering the impact that Samuelsen’s father had on this particular play. Buzz for The Ice Front has already reached critical mass; Rapier reports that the play’s entire run is technically sold out. However, it’s still possible to see the show by reporting in-person to the Rose Wagner box office one hour before each performance and adding your name to the pre-paid wait list. Plan-B is also featuring two special previews Nov. 7-8 for those who make a donation to the Utah Film Center and/or the NOVA Chamber Music Series. CW

PLAN-B THEATRE CO. THE ICE FRONT

Rose Wagner Studio Theatre 138 W. 300 South 801-355-2787 Nov. 9-19 $20 planbtheatre.org

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PERFORMANCE THEATER

DANCE

Ballet West: Carmina Burana Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, through Nov. 11, times vary, artsaltlake.org Ririe-Woodbury Dance Co. Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, 435-649-9371, Nov. 10-11, 8 p.m., parkcityshows.com Utah Ballet I Marriott Center for Dance, 330 S. 1500 East, Ste. 106, through Nov. 11, times vary, tickets.utah.edu

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Doug Loves Movies Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Nov. 11, 4 p.m., 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com Karen Rontowki Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Nov. 10-11, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 21

COMEDY & IMPROV

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Faculty and Guest Trio Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, Nov. 13, 7:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu Utah Symphony: Mozart’s Great Mass with Brahms’ Songs Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Nov. 10-11, 7:30 p.m., artsaltlake.org Pacifica Quartet Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, Nov. 15, 7:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu (see p. 18) Salt Lake Symphony: Heroic Gestures Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, Nov. 11, 7:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu

A Bundle of Trouble Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, through Nov. 30, days and times vary, hct.org Christmas Vacation: The Polarized Express Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801266-2600, through Dec 30, desertstar.biz Forever Plaid Hale Center Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through Nov. 15, MondaySaturday, times vary, hct.org Hello Dolly Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, through Nov. 18, MondaySaturday, times vary, haletheater.org The Ice Front Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, through Nov. 19, times vary, artsaltlake.org (see p. 20) Mercury Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, through Nov. 12, Wednesday-Sunday, times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org The Petite Palace Utah Arts Alliance, 663 E. 100 South, through Nov. 12, dates and times vary, thepetitepalace.com Shopkins Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, Nov. 11, 6:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu The Weyward Sisters Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, through Nov. 18, times and dates vary, pygmalionproductions.org White Rabbit Red Rabbit Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, tickets.utah.edu

You Never Can Tell Babcock Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, Nov. 10-19, dates and times vary, tickets.utah.edu

Salt Lake City artist Lesly Abalos-Ambriz presents paintings of faces that evoke unique emotional colors through lack of color in the exhibition 24: Is This Lesly? at Chapman Library (577 S. 900 West, 801-594-8623, slcpl.org), through Dec. 27.

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Russell Peters Wisegguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Nov. 9-11, times vary, +21, wiseguyscomedy.com

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

The Urban Indian Center of Salt Lake Presents:

The 28th Annual Native American Holiday Arts Market December 2 & 3, 2017 Saturday: 10:00 am to 6:00 pm Sunday: 10:00 am to 5:00 pm Vendors will be offering both traditional and contemporary Native American goods including jewelry, pottery, paintings and more.

A.J. Jacobs: It’s All Relative The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Nov. 14, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com Charity Tillemann-Dick: The Encore: A Memoir in Three Acts The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Nov. 13, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com David Kranes: Abracadabra The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Nov. 15, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com (see p. 18) Jan Minich: Wild Roses The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Nov. 9, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com Michael Chidsey: Thaddeus: The Happiest Little Mountain Goat Ever The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Nov. 11, 11 a.m., kingsenglish.com Susan Adrian: Nutcracked The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Nov. 11, 2 p.m., kingsenglish.com

SPECIAL EVENTS SEASONAL EVENTS

Christmas in the Wizarding World The Shops at South Town, 10450 State, Sandy, through Jan. 31, shopsatsouthtown.com (see p. 18) Holiday Workshop: Living Green Ornaments Ogden Nature Center, 966 W. 12th Street, Ogden, 801-621-7595, Nov. 11, 10 a.m.-12 p.m., ogdennaturecenter.org

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Al Ahad: The Hijab Project UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Nov. 18, utahmoca.org

Cities of Conviction UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Jan. 6, utahmoca.org Cookie Allred: The Color of Places Corinne and Jack Sweet Library, 455 F St., 801-594-8651, through Dec. 20, slcpl.org David N. LeCheminant: Morning Walk Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, Nov. 11-Jan. 5, slcpl.org Illuminate Salt Lake various locations, Nov. 10-11, 5-10 p.m., utaharts.org (see p. 18) Ilse Bing Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, through Dec. 31, umfa.utah.edu Jaime Salvador Castillo & Michael Anthony Garcia: whereABOUTS UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Dec. 9, utahmoca.org Jerry Hardesty: Doublespeak Marmalade Branch Library, 280 W. 500 North, 801-5948680, Nov. 14-Dec. 29, slcpl.org Justin Watson: …the future is the past is the future is the past is… Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801-596-5000, through Nov. 17, artsaltlake.org Karen Horne: Ballet To Tango Exploring the Art of Dance Horne Fine Art, 142 E. 800 South, 801-533-4200, through Dec. 23, hornefineart.com Kristina Lenzi: Alien Matters Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, Nov. 11-Jan. 5., slcpl.org Las Hermanas Iglesias: Here, Here Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-581-7332, through Jan. 28, umfa.utah.edu Lesly Abalos-Ambriz: 24: Is This Lesly? Chapman Library, 577 S. 900 West, 801-5948623, through Dec. 27, slcpl.org (see p. 21) Rebecca Klundt, Liberty Blake and Elise Ostraff Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, through Nov. 17, saltlakearts.org Sarah Malakoff: Second Nature Granary Art Center, 86 N. Main, Ephraim, through Jan. 26, granaryartcenter.org Thomas Aguila, Etsuko Kato and Kelly O’Neill: photo_dot_alt Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801-596-5000, through Nov. 17, artsaltlake.org

Come on, Get Slappy BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @critic1

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 23

10431 S. State, Sandy 801-432-8440 slapfishrestaurant.com

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SLAPFISH

hake) and topped with crispy shredded cabbage, pickled onion, fresh cilantro, a lemon wedge and the house Awesome Sauce, a smoky and creamy chile sauce. It’s a helluva deal for the price. You can also try the epic fish burrito ($10), which, in addition to the aforementioned, includes guacamole, seasoned rice, tomato and black beans. There’s a smaller street taco ($4), as well. A cup of New England clam chowder ($4) was awfully good, but a bit skimpy clam-wise. With large chunks of red potatoes and crispy bacon pieces in a luscious, creamy chowder, it was quite pleasing. For $3 more, you can enjoy an order of fries smothered in it. There’s a south-of-theborder appeal to the fresh shrimp ceviche ($7)—shrimp marinated in lime, cucumber and tomato served with tortilla chips—as well as the lobster taquitos (two for $6.50). Since the market-priced traditional lobster roll was a bit steep at $25, I opted instead for the lobster grinder ($15). Stuffed into a toasted split-top butter roll was a generous heap of chilled shrimp and lobster salad garnished with minced chives. The shellfish mix was deliciously spicy, and I found I didn’t need any hot sauce to kick things up a notch. What I did need, was a knife and fork. Prepare to get messy here. At the most traditional end of the seafood spectrum are the fish and chips ($9)—battered and deep-fried whitefish served atop a bed of fries with tartar sauce made from scratch. It’s also available as a Dagwoodstyle sandwich ($9). The least traditional menu offering has to be the surf-and-turf lobster burger ($16), the only item that held no appeal for me. It’s a griddled beef patty with cheese, caramelized onions and— wait for it—lobster. Call me crazy, but I like surf and turf, not surf on turf. That one misstep notwithstanding, there’s a lot to love about Slapfish. I left the joint feeling slap happy. CW

andy’s Slapfish restaurant in is a selfdescribed “modern seafood shack.” It’s modern, yes, but is it a shack? Nope. At least, the new fast-casual eatery doesn’t resemble any shack I’ve ever seen. The idea plays off of funky seafood huts you’d find in SoCal or Mexico, with fresh fish tacos, ceviche, burritos and such. This restaurant offers those eats, but without the funk—it’s shiny, contemporary and spotless. Given the dearth of seafood restaurants along the Wasatch Front—particularly lowand mid-priced ones—I was keen to visit. It’s a step-up-to-the-counter affair, where you place your order, are given a number, and an employee brings the meal to your table. Signature menu items are sandwiches and rolls served with natural-cut fries that mostly run in the $7-$16 range. Think of it as the Chipotle of seafood. One feature that attracted me to this place is their commitment to serving only sustainable seafood, which is certified by the Marine Stewardship Council—an organization that keeps scientific tabs on whether seafood stocks are increasing or decreasing. Chef/Owner Andrew Gruel has built his business over six years, from a single food truck to a rapidly growing franchise with locations in eight states, plus London and South Korea. The menu describes the ultimate fish taco ($7) as “two-handed.” Apt, given you’ll need to wrestle this beast into your mouth. It’s a ginormous grilled tortilla packed to the brim with your choice of grilled or fried hoki (aka blue grenadier, whiptail or blue

Slapfish’s lobster grinder

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Find fresh, fast and sustainable seafood at Slapfish.

TED SCHEFFLER

DINE

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24 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

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Indigenous Dining

Even if you consider yourself a foodie, there’s a chance you still might not have been exposed to much cuisine inspired by the culture of Utah’s own Native American communities. On Thursday, Nov. 16, from 6-9 p.m., the Natural History Museum of Utah hosts Utah Diné Bikéyah’s Indigenous Dinner. The nonprofit organization— which supports the indigenous communities and lands of the Bears Ears area—is launching a Traditional Foods Program. The innagural event features creations by chefs Brian Yazzie (Navajo Nation) and Vern Defoe (Lake Superior Chippewa). The evening’s program also includes a fund-raising silent auction of Native artist items and donations by local restaurants, plus performances by local Native American artists. Individual tickets are $100 per person, available at bit.ly/2ypbRSi.

2991 E. 3300 S. | 385.528.0181

MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS

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Holiday Hours Starting Dec. 1st

Meatless Thanksgiving

As much as American Thanksgiving is associated with roasted turkey, there are plenty of meat-free ways to get into the holiday spirit. The Friendly Food Truck Family gathers eight participating food trucks—Falafel Tree, Poutine Your Mouth, The Salty Pineapple, Mama Lau’s, Pyromaniacs Pizza, Gerlach’s, Spud on a Stick and Udder Joy—for Vegan Food Truck Thanksgiving on Saturday, Nov. 18, from noon-6 p.m. at 327 E. 300 South. Enjoy your 100 percent plant-based items, with proceeds benefitting Rescue Rovers pet adoptions. Find more info at bit.ly/2zdMMJb.

RESTAURANT

MON-SAT 5:30-END 801.582.1400 or FIVEALLS.COM

Thu: 6-9:30pm | Fri/Sat: 5:30-9:30 1458 South Foothill Drive

CPK for Kids

In case the fun interactive exhibits aren’t enough of an incentive to get your kids excited about a trip to Discovery Gateway, how about some free pizza? On Saturday, Nov. 10, during four individual time slots—11 a.m., noon, 2 p.m. and 3 p.m.—Discovery Gateway and California Pizza Kitchen team up for a California Pizza Kitchen Pizza Party. Attendees get a chance to create their own personal pizza from a variety of fresh ingredients as part of a program that also includes information about healthy dietary choices. The event is free with museum admission, but space is limited; sign up at the front desk upon arrival on Nov. 10 to reserve a spot during one of the sessions.

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Quote of the Week: “You can’t go wrong with pizza—unless it’s terrible pizza.” —Andy Kindler Send tips to: comments@cityweekly.net

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NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 25

LUNCH • DINNER • COCKTAILS

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Contemporary Japanese Dining

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Utah’s freshest of the fresh IPAs. BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

rewers are always looking to take their beers to the next level, but doing so often requires a bit of unconventional thinking. Take IPAs for example. Every brewery makes one, and the odds are pretty good that you’ve got at least a partial six pack in your fridge right now. For the most part, IPAs are all pretty similar; depending on the hop varietal used, the average pallet will probably only be able to detect a handful (or mouthful, in this case) of differences. One way of creating the freshest hop blast is through a process called “wet hopping.” This method adds hops to the brew while the cones are fresh off the bine (the climbing plant that produces hops)—generally no more than 48 hours from farm to beer tank. Autumn is the only time of year to get true wet-hop beers, primarily because it’s harvest time, and breweries from all over do their best to snag as much of the bitter green stuff

BEER NERD

MIKE RIEDEL

Delicious When Wet

as they can. It’s not easy, and in some cases not very profitable, but it’s all good when that fresh-hopped beer hits your lips. There are three local breweries with wet-hop beers on draft right now. Let’s dissect them, shall we? Wasatch Brewery’s Clothing Hoptional: This beer from Park City’s original Wasatch Brew Pub gets its wet hops from from the hills outside of town. Back when Park City was a booming silver mining town, German immigrants planted hops from Europe so that they could craft their home brews just like Mutter used to make. The miners are long gone, but their hops still remain—and are quite plentiful. Clothing Hoptional is an unfiltered golden ale that pours a slightly hazy dark gold with a nice white head. The aroma has a hop character that’s lightly piney, floral and grassy, along with bready and caramel malt notes. The flavor follows the aroma with citrusyfloral and grassy hop flavors up front, followed by slightly sweet bready, caramel and honey-like malt notes, finishing with some bitterness to balance the beer out nicely. Overall: This is a nice, sessionable lightbodied beer at 4 percent ABV. It’s only available at Wasatch’s Park City brewpub, Sugar House brewpub and the Utah Brewers Cooperative. Proper Brewing’s Wetter Off Red: This American red ale is hopped with 100 percent Amarillo from Oregon, shipped overnight and put into the beer less than 24 hours after coming off the bine. The aroma is grassy with some caramel malt and light

citrus. The flavor continues with a solid malt backbone, accented by sweet resin and light stone fruit. The finish is bitter and juicy. The verdict? The Amarillo hops create a nice bitter citrus-rind smack. This 4 percent ABV seasonal treat is in limited supply, so get it while it’s here, only at Avenues Proper and Proper Brewing Co. Fisher Brewing’s Intermountain Juice: This one is hazy with a nice golden color that’s topped with a soapy head of foam. Upon first whiff, you get light tropical, piney and earthy aromas with a touch of grass. The

flavor mirrors the nose with a light fruitiness, bitter black tea, pine, grass and herbs, plus hop spiciness. The malts are subtle, offering enough sweetness to counter the bitter. Overall: This wet hop is made with 100 pounds of Idaho 7 hops from our neighbors to the north. Its citrusy herbal punch provides a unique hop profile that’s welcome in a session ale. These beers often pop up without warning at various local brewpubs and go fast when they hit the taps, so don’t wait too long. As always, cheers! CW

TED SCHEFFLER

REVIEW BITES A sampler of our critic’s reviews

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Husband-and-wife owners Borzin and Mary Mottaghian have opened one of the few Persian restaurants in all of Utah— right in downtown Provo. It’s a walk-up-and-order deal with rapid service, as meals are generally prepared in less than 10 minutes. The menu offers a straightforward selection of kebabs and side dishes at prices topping out at $8.99—a bargain for such quality meals. The fresh, flame-grilled kebabs—with chicken, beef, lamb or vegetarian options—start at $6.99 and include pita bread, lettuce, basmati rice or Fire bread (housemade Persian flat bread baked in the restaurant’s tandoor), plus unlimited toppings like onions, olives, feta cheese and cucumber. The seasoned ribeye steak kebab in particular was tender and juicy atop the house bread. Try the divine walnut salad ($6.99): a hefty serving of mixed greens with olives, cucumber, feta, grape tomatoes, strawberries, chopped walnuts and your choice of dressing. Service is friendly and helpful—particularly to confused first-timers—and Borzin is usually on hand to help with suggestions. The food, in general, is as fresh as fresh can be, and all the tasty kebabs are cooked to order. Reviewed Sept. 28. 180 N. University Ave., Provo, 801-373-3473

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FILM REVIEW

Parallel Lilves

Todd Haynes’ Wonderstruck unites two tales of youthful discovery. BY ERIC D. SNIDER comments@cityweekly.net @ericdsnider

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recurring theme through most of Todd Haynes’ films—spanning more than 25 years, including Velvet Goldmine, Far from Heaven and Carol—is breaking loose from convention to be true to oneself. Often this self-actualization has to do with sexuality, but the wonderful Wonderstruck—based on the 2011 illustrated novel by Brian Selznick (Hugo)—applies it to marginalized children trying to find their place in the world. It’s a charming, magical story, full of simple surprises and innocent beauty. It starts out as two stories, actually. In Minnesota in 1977, 12-year-old Ben (Oakes Fegley, from last year’s Pete’s Dragon remake) never knew his father and recently lost his mother (Michelle Williams) in a car accident. He finds an old book among her belongings—Wonderstruck, about New York’s American Museum of Natural History—and a bookmark with an inscription to Ben’s mother from someone named “Danny.” Could that be Ben’s father? While dialing the telephone number of the bookshop indicated on the bookmark, Ben is struck by lightning and loses his hearing, as if the universe didn’t want him to make the connection. Doesn’t matter to Ben, though: He sets out for New York to find the bookstore and, he hopes, his father. Meanwhile, in Hoboken, N.J., in 1927, a deaf, lonely rich girl named Rose (Millicent Simmonds) idolizes movie star Lillian Mayhew (Julianne Moore), and dreads the coming day when “talkies” will take over, spoiling her refuge. Fed up with her uninterested father (James Urbaniak), who seems annoyed with her for being deaf, Rose heads into Manhattan in search of Ms. Mayhew, who’s rehearsing for her Broadway debut. It isn’t as long a journey

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CINEMA

for Rose as it is for Ben—New York is just a ferry ride away—but it’s a grand adventure for a 12-year-old deaf girl in 1927. Haynes cuts back and forth between the two time periods regularly, underlining the parallels in the stories—both kids trek to New York and face dangers in the big city; both end up at the American Museum of Natural History—without indicating specifically how they are related. The 1977 scenes boast the rich, saturated colors and funky soundtrack of movies from that time, and while Ben can’t hear the metropolitan hustle and bustle around him, we can. We can practically smell it. To remind us that Ben is deaf, Haynes occasionally lets the dialogue drop from the sound mix. The 1927 scenes, on the other hand, evoke the silent-film era without duplicating it. The widescreen images are sepia-toned; we don’t hear any dialogue (you might be surprised to discover how good you are at lipreading), and there’s a near-constant musical score. That music, however—by the great Carter Burwell—is modern rather than Jazz Age era-appropriate; I like to imagine that it’s the music Rose hears in her head, accompanying her own life. Burwell’s score is gorgeous and yearning, and Haynes uses it across both time periods, tying them together even while we’re still in the dark about how Ben and Rose are connected. The parallel tracks do eventually merge— this is not a puzzle movie—focusing on Ben’s search for his father. He’s helped by

Millicent Simmonds in Wonderstruck

a new friend, Jamie (Jaden Michael), an eager lad without many friends whose own father works at the museum. Jamie is an endearing type, the good-hearted character whose only function in the story to help the protagonist and be his pal. His and Ben’s sweet friendship anchors the movie. Selznick, adapting his own book, has a storyteller’s gift for parceling out information. He reveals biographical details one small piece at a time, letting us enjoy the process of discovery in a manner similar to how Ben and Rose themselves are learning more about their world. They’re not after the same facts we are, but the path is the same: curiosity, wonderment, the joy of finding out something new. The movie is a celebration of all that, framed within a story about kids doing neat things like hide out in a museum after hours. This is a lovely, euphoric tale, made with skill and compassion. CW

WONDERSTRUCK

BBB.5 Oakes Fegley Millicent Simmonds Julianne Moore PG

TRY THESE Far from Heaven (2002) Julianne Moore Dennis Quaid R

Hugo (2011) Asa Butterfield Chloë Grace Moretz PG

Carol (2015) Cate Blanchett Rooney Mara R

Pete’s Dragon (2016) Oakes Fegley Robert Redford PG

NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change. DADDY’S HOME 2 [not yet reviewed] Co-parents Brad (Will Ferrell) and Dusty (Mark Wahlberg) get a Christmas visit from their respective dads (John Lithgow and Mel Gibson). Opens Nov. 10 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13) FACES PLACES BBBB French film legend Agnès Varda teams up with photographer JR to tool around rural France, creating art as a community project that captivates everyone they encounter—and us, too. JR’s medium of oversized portraits, spit out on the fly from his mobile photo booth, becomes a celebration of ordinary people as they paste enormous murals of a farmer on his barn, a waitress on a village wall her café overlooks, even Varda’s own eyes on a train. “Chance has always been my best assistant,” she tells JR, and this is a fun, often laugh-out-loud funny expression of how the filmmaker approaches not only creativity, but life itself—as an active joy that finds poetry in the hearts of everyone and canvases for expression everywhere. Varda and JR co-directed this crowdfunded documentary—more community involvement—and it’s a wonderful ode to seeing the world with truly open eyes. At almost 90, Varda remains a force of nature whose creative spirit seems to get enlarged, just as JR’s giant photos are, by their adventure. May we all be so happily engaged by life and art. Opens Nov. 10 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—MaryAnn Johanson

WONDERSTRUCK BBB.5 See p. 28. Opens Nov. 10 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG-13)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS CHASING CORAL At Main Library, Nov. 14, 7 p.m. (NR) JANE At Park City Film Series, Nov. 10-11, 8 p.m.; Nov. 12, 6 p.m. (NR)

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LBJ BB Director Rob Reiner and screenwriter Joey Hartstone take a page from Lincoln by keeping a narrow historical focus, but stay too narrow to allow for a complete picture. Woody Harrelson plays Lyndon Johnson in a story that ranges from his Senate leadership in 1959 through 1963, as the assassination of John F. Kennedy (Jeffrey Donovan) leads to his tragic ascension to the presidency. Harrelson’s performance (under mountains of prosthetics) solidly conveys Johnson’s Texas-sized ego and talent for getting things done, as well as his insecurities. Yet as efficient as LBJ is at showing Johnson’s skills as arm-twisting politician, it needed more room to breathe, packing multiple subplots—like Johnson’s contentions relationship with Bobby Kennedy (Michael Stahl-David)—into 98 minutes. Relegating Johnson’s stormy second term to closing captions can’t do justice to everything that was best and worst about the man. (R)—SR THOR: RAGNAROK BBB It does what Marvel movies do—all of them basically enjoyable shades of the same color—with a slightly different tonal approach. Here, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) finds himself lost in space when his sister, Hela (Cate Blanchett), takes over Asgard, while he tries to escape from a planet where he’s pitted in gladiatorial combat against the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo). Hela’s got style, but is mostly a waste of Blanchett’s talents for grand theatricality, and also suffers by comparison to Tom Hiddleston’s Loki. When the narrative focuses on Thor himself, though, Ragnarok is often hilarious, with director Taika Waititi showcasing Hemsworth’s ample comedic chops and a delightful Jeff Goldblum. The problem becomes the predictably over-stuffed plot, which doesn’t allow for any one “buddy comedy” relationship dynamic to develop fully. As Marvel movies go, this one is ... a Marvel movie. (PG-13)—SR

TOM OF FINLAND BBB Any suggestion that Dome Karukoski’s film biography of artist

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A BAD MOMS CHRISTMAS B The first of 2017’s miserable holiday movies is this grim sequel to last year’s modestly amusing “moms gone wild” raunchcom that thrived on chemistry between harried Mila Kunis, subservient Kristen Bell and reckless Kathryn Hahn. This time, returning writer-directors Jon Lucas and Scott Moore bring the moms’ moms into it—Christine Baranski, Cheryl Hines and Susan Sarandon, respectively—splitting up the three leads

and bogging them down with broad, farcical conflicts. The film’s level of reality is that of a comedy sketch—until the end, of course, when we’re supposed to care about these onedimensional characters’ feelings. Not only are Lucas and Moore careless with story details, but they sabotage themselves by limiting the time Kunis, Bell and Hahn spend together. It was a mediocre concept to begin with, and they made it worse. (R)—Eric D. Snider

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MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS B.5 Here’s the biggest mystery of director/star Kenneth Branagh’s lavish period mounting of the 1934 Agatha Christie novel: Why? No attempt was made to update the tale for modern relevance, which is a mixed blessing; there isn’t a lot of room to do so, but it also leaves the film feeling like merely a pretty box of random trinkets—lovely to look at, yet practically meaningless. Christie’s fiction was never strong on character, and that failing is only amplified here. As the suspects in a murder on the moving high-speed luxury train The Orient Express, en route from Istabul to Calais, the impressive cast—Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Judi Dench, Willem Dafoe—is underutilized, mostly left to pose in gorgeous 1930s costumes. And Branagh as detective Hercule Poirot struggles to get past the ghost of David Suchet, so recently beloved in the role in the long-running TV series; a fabulous moustache isn’t enough. Without engaging characters, we’re left with Poirot’s puzzlesolving, which here leaps from clue to conclusion with nary any detectiving in between. It’s all a sad cinematic derailment. Opens Nov. 10 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)—MAJ

Touko Laaksonen—aka “Tom of Finland”—traffics in stereotypes can be addressed by the fact that Laaksonen essentially created many of those stereotypes. The story follows Laaksonen (Pekka Strang) over more than 40 years, from his World War II service to years as a closeted gay man in Finland while working in advertising, through his rise to underground international fame creating gay fetish illustrations that shaped images of the mustachioed “leather daddy.” Karukoski treads through a lot of familiar territory in such stories—avoiding detection by authorities, dealing with family members who don’t understand—while introducing unique dynamics like an awkward romantic triangle involving Laaksonen’s sister (Jessica Grabowsky) and young dancer Veli (Lauri Tilkanen). But while much of the appeal here is of the historical “betcha didn’t know” variety about Laaksonen himself, Strang plays an effective character arc of a man who doesn’t realize that despite insisting “I’m not a freedom fighter,” his art is a political act. The movie itself is rarely groundbreaking art, but works at shining a light on Laaksonen’s. Opens Nov. 10 at Tower Theatre. (NR)—Scott Renshaw

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BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Dyn-o-Mite!

Maria Bamford drops more Lady Dynamite; Ill Behavior puts the can-do in cancer.

till sounds good, still feels right: Lady Dynamite (Season 2 premiere, Friday, Nov. 10, Netflix), Maria Bamford’s semi-autobiographical meta-comedy about dealing with bipolar disorder (much like, but totally differently from, BoJack Horseman’s bouts with depression or Jessica Jones’ lingering PTSD—Netflix, your one-stop therapy shop), is damned near impossible to explain. There’s time-hopping, there’s fourth-wall obliteration, there’s heartbreak, pugs and Bamford herself—long an odd-woman-out comedian who makes utter and complete sense within the surreal context of Lady Dynamite. You could skip Season 1 and just jump right in … but why would you do that, dummy? How do I know it’s November? Besides a mailbox full of fat checks for TV columns that ran back in the summer? The Hallmark Channel is cranking out Christmas movies. The Sweetest Christmas (Saturday, Nov. 11, Hallmark Channel) stars perennial Hallmarker Lacey Chabert, this time as a struggling—and, of course, single—pastry chef who’s made it to the finals of the American Gingerbread Competition … but her oven is broken! Desperate, she reaches out to her ex (Lea Coco—he’s a dude; relax, watchdog groups), a pizzeria owner with just the right equipment. Will she win? Can love re-bloom for a Christmas miracle? Will I resist the obvious hot, throbbing gingerbread-man/oven joke? I’m rarely wrong, and it’s even rarer for me to cop to it when I am, so hold onto your asses: Star Trek: Discovery turned out to be an impressive prequel, and CBS’ All Access streaming service might actually work in the long run. And here’s another winner: No Activity (series debut, Sunday, Nov. 12, CBS All Access), a Funny or Die comedy about the clueless humps (in this case, Patrick Brammall and Tim Meadows) on the periphery of those actionpacked crime procedurals, the cops who never get to slide across the hood of a squad car, bust a perp or do anything cool. Will Ferrell and other FoD usuals guest on No Activity, meaning you might want to keep All Access even though ST:D (ha!) is over. Sorry. What’s so funny about cancer? Ill Behavior (series debut, Monday, Nov. 13, Showtime), a British show acquired by Showtime, has an idea. Recent divorcé Joel (Chris

Geere) moves in with Charlie (Tom Riley), who then announces that he has cancer and, instead of clinical treatment, is going the holistic route. Naturally, Joel and mutual friend Tess (Jessica Regan) kidnap Charlie and begin injecting him with chemo drugs against his will. And if that’s not funny enough, also in the mix is alcoholic sexaddict doctor Nadia (Lizzy Caplan, who always makes anything better). It’s more hilarious (and chaotically British) than it sounds, and Geere almost tops his You’re the Worst performance. Almost. The rise of eSports baffles me—how the fuck is playing videogames a “sport”? I’m typing this paragraph athletically quickly right now, so can I be in the Olympics? Anyway: Future Man (series debut, Tuesday, Nov. 14, Hulu) is about a hapless gamer (Josh Hutcherson) who’s recruited by time-traveling badasses (Eliza Coupe and Derek Wilson) to use his eSkills to save humanity (obviously, these visitors haven’t been paying attention and don’t realize that humanity is no longer worth the effort). Future Man is a Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg joint, and the kitchen-sink action/comedy mix they brought to Preacher

Lady Dynamite (Netflix)

and This Is the End is in full effect here, just on a smaller scale. But humanity? Nah. The Mindy Project (series finale, Tuesday, Nov. 14, Hulu) is one of those rare shows that survived being cancelled by a TV network (Fox) by landing on a streamer (Hulu) and running longer than anyone ever expected (three more seasons). Not that Mindy Kaling’s rom-comgone-wrong really had six seasons and 117 episodes-worth of material, but kudos for going farther than anything called a “project” should (looking at you, Alan Parsons Project and Vanilla Ice Project). Over the years, unlucky-inlove OB/GYN Mindy Lahiri evolved from a hot mess into at least a warm mess, and Kaling smartly let her co-stars (a cast with a higher turnover rate than Papa John’s) shine. Now, when’s The Office reboot happening? CW Listen to Frost Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and billfrost.tv.

0 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

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CONCERT PREVIEW

Stairway to Heaven’s Metal

MUSIC

Looking back at my time as a Christian-rock groupie. BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

DJHÉ VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Mike Lee of Barren Cross

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NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 31

Wednesday, Nov. 15, 7 p.m., $15 Maverik Center 3200 S. Decker Lake Drive 801-988-8800, maverikcenter.com

WINTER JAM, FEAT. LECRAE, MAC POWELL, BUILDING 429, ANDY MINEO, MORIAH PETERS, FAMILY FORCE 5, WESTOVER AND MALLARY HOPE

petition around Granite High urging KCGL to play Christian rock. I never sent it in. That was probably the first step in leaving religion behind for good—that and the fact that I still partook in R-rated films and secular music, cursed and kept a hard-won copy of Hustler under my bed. It took another four years before I dared to declare my freedom from religion, and another six until I was ready to confess disbelief in a higher power. Eventually, I sold my Christian albums and began replacing what I destroyed. But years later, at the advent of Napster, I indulged in nostalgic downloading. I realized that many of these bands were legitimately good. Also, I didn’t need to buy into their message. I could take what I needed from the music. So occasionally, I listen to Christian rock: “Breakaway,” for all its cheese, reminds me it’s OK to disengage from vexing circumstances. Minus Jesus, White Heart’s “Over Me” is about basking in a summer rain. Taylor’s excellent, intelligent tunes criticize overzealous pro-lifers, condemn greed or use the work of surrealist artist M.C. Escher as a metaphor for when life gets tough to navigate. Other songs are just funny: Holy Soldier’s “See No Evil” rocks, but is hilariously manipulative, with verses from a fetal perspective and a pre-solo interlude where a child’s voice says, “Mommy, I’m scared.” Lust Control’s “The Big M” is the funniest, decrying masturbation as “artificial sex.” You too, perhaps, can become illuminated at a who’s who all-ages Christian rock concert happening Wednesday at the Maverik Center. In the end, my father and I grew further apart. He was a deadbeat. But by exposing me to Christian rock, he indirectly taught me that the beauty of art—especially music—is that it can mean different things to different people. One song might inspire someone to have or rekindle faith, while providing someone else with deity-free comfort or a bummer-busting belly laugh. All that matters is that we find what we need to get through the day. CW

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y father and I weren’t close. Music was our connection, so I expected excitement when, on our Sunday call, I told him that I’d been gifted an electric guitar. Instead he spoke in a strange, somnambulant voice that made me wonder if the Pod People had gotten him. Close—it was Pat Robertson. Like many fuckups, Dad had declared spiritual bankruptcy and the Great Trustee in the Sky had handed him a clean slate. My news warranted only an affectedly peaceful “That’s great, son” before he laid his Jesus rap on me. I’d finally convinced my mom to allow me to cease attending Mormon church, and I was to spend the summer with my dad. I wasn’t thrilled. The 10-hour drive to Carson City was like that road-movie trope where the only radio station for miles is 24/7 hellfire ’n’ brimstone, only the preacher was driving. New converts can be zealots and Dad spent the next two months making me shit-scared of Satan. Everything I did was a sin, including listening to Bon Jovi, Poison and Prince. When I started having nightmares about Ol’ Scratch whispering sinisterly into my ear, I relented. We knelt before Dad’s massive TV and prayed with preacher Pat. I said I felt the Holy Spirit take over, but only to stop the bad dreams. A week later, I went home. Thinking me safe through Jesus, my dad mellowed. We settled back into our musical conversation, only now we talked Christian rock. He told me that for every secular band I liked, there was a pious alternative. He turned me on to Petra (Jesus music’s Journey analog), White Heart (a squeaky-clean Survivor) and Idle Cure (whose fistpumping anthems like “Breakaway” filled the arena rock-shaped void in my soul). I subscribed to Heaven’s Metal magazine and discovered killer power metal bands Sacred Warrior and Barren Cross; glam bands like Shout and Holy Soldier; thrash/death from Deliverance and Vengeance Rising; and classic rockers like Rez and the Daniel Band. I also found punk bands: One Bad Pig, the incognito abstinence-preaching Lust Control (fronted by Heaven’s Metal publisher Doug Van Pelt), and the Altar Boys, who clearly worshiped The Replacements. Mad at the World mixed Depeche Mode’s synthpop with The Cult’s grinding, mystical rock; The Swirling Eddies had power pop covered; Steve Taylor dealt in heady new wave and alternative rock; Mortal was Christianity’s first industrial act. These bands made Jesus sound like a superhero. They made rock ’n’ roll a force for good, but it was still about rebellion. At the time, many Christians still believed Satan invented backbeat rhythm. I still wasn’t sure of my faith, but Christian rock became my god. Believing I’d found a spiritually nourishing alternative to soulcorroding secular music, I smashed my LPs and cassettes behind a Fred Meyer warehouse. I wrote a fan letter to Idle Cure and traveled to California to see them play at the Raging Waters waterpark from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. I drove everyone I knew nuts, pitching knockoff rock—that was every bit as good as the name brands!—like a musical Amway distribuitor. I even circulated a

It’s a twisted path pop culture has followed, if you even want to try to trace it to determine what “cool” is anymore. That path is enveloped by Portland band Guantanamo Baywatch, whose moniker crosses a hipster fascination with kitschy-sexy TV shows of bygone decades with real political anxiety and even a hint of dissent. In other words, it’s perfect! You’d be hard-pressed to find two better words to encapsulate their music, a similarly impeccable pastiche of ’60s Northwest surf and garage rock. Their latest, Desert Center (Suicide Squeeze), is a paean to a California town in the middle of nowhere. Oakland psychsynthers Night Shapes open, along with two locals: lo-fi popsmiths 90s Television and feminist indie rockers Dream Slut. (Brian Staker) Diabolical Records, 238 S. Edison St., 8 p.m., free, all ages, facebook.com/diabolicalslc

SATURDAY 11/11 Kid Cudi

After enduring a rather difficult 2016, Cleveland-based rapper and Kanye West acolyte Kid Cudi (née Scott Ramon Seguro Mescudi) is gathering his strength—or, as he put it in an interview with Billboard, “pre-cumming” before he “ejaculates a full spew.” Hot on the heels of the release of his latest album Passion, Pain & Demon

Kid Cudi

TODD WALBERG

Guantanamo Baywatch, Night Shapes, 90s Television, Dream Slut

Slayin’ (Republic/Wicked Awesome), Cudi is rolling through the nation’s clubs and venues in pursuit of his own artistic vision, giving zero fucks along the way. After dealing with the fallout of 2015’s poorly received experiment Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven and completing a stint in rehab, his new album and tour are the rapper’s testament that he’s still alive and rapping. Yes, fans can expect a return to his hiphop roots, but the next person who asks about Man on the Moon 3 is going to get a mic drop to the forehead—the rapper has made it clear that it’s just not in the cards. (Alex Springer) The Great Saltair, 12408 W. Saltair Drive, 9 p.m., $45-$50, all ages, thesaltair.com

Guantanamo Baywatch everything from serial killer T-shirts to fetal mandibles. Now his website is down. Bad omen? Previously the frontman of Gypsy River Haunts, opening act and Hailey, Idaho, native Andrew Sheppard is pursuing a solo music career, with songs (and a backing band) reminiscent of classic old-school country in tow. (BS) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $12, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

Amigo the Devil

SUNDAY 11/12

Dark Hearts: feat. Amigo the Devil, Andrew Sheppard, Mike Frazier, Will Ridge, Lorin Walker Madsen

DANA BEVERIDGE VIA WIKIMEDIA

Dark visions never seem to go out of fashion in music—“A friend of the devil is a friend of mine,” as some old rock band once sang. Goth-folk—or “murderfolk,” as Spicewood, Texas, singer/songwriter Amigo the Devil (aka Danny Kiranos) calls his stories of love and other earthly passions, like bloodlust gone wrong— is a genre that never lacks popularity, perhaps because we can all relate to the appetite if not the, uh, execution. Last time he came through here, Kiranos was all sold out of the ultra-dark merch he sells to complement his disturbing songs—

KAREN JERZYK

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BY RANDY HARWARD, ALEX SPRINGER & BRIAN STAKER

FRIDAY 11/10

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2013

2014

UTES VS WASHINGTON STATE @ 3:30 DJ BAD HAIR DAY SPINNING AT 10:00

$2 MIMOSAS NEW BRUNCH MENU

MNF WED

$1 TACOS, SQUARES BOARD, GIVE AWAYS

FOOTBALL IS FOLLOWED BY KARAOKE, ALL GAMES TELEVISED

NOV 22

3000 S Highland Dr, Salt Lake City, UT 84106 801.484.5597 | Lumpysbar.com

BREAKING BINGO AT THE SUE AT 8PM $1,050 POT 3RD ANNUAL TURKEY SHOOT POKER TOURNEY

$300 CASH PRIZE, BREAKING BINGO, AND DJ BAD HAIR DAY GET YOUR DRINK ON BEFORE YOU GET YOUR FAMILY ON.

9 60” 4K HD TVS, 2 GIANT HD PROJECTORS, PAC-12 NETWORK, NFL SUNDAY TICKET

8136 SO. STATE ST

EAT AT SUE’S! YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BAR · FREE GAME ROOM, AS ALWAYS!

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

VISIT US AT: ABARNAMEDSUE.NET

11AM-1AM

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUE

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUESTATE

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 33

801-566-3222

FACEBOOK.COM/ABARNAMEDSUESTATE

| CITY WEEKLY |

SUN FUN

WATCH ALL NFL GAMES EVERY SUNDAY, MONDAY, AND THURSDAY NIGHTS

HERBAN EMPIRE

d ken Wee h Until nc Bru

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

AS ALWAYS, NO COVER!

32 Exchange Place • 801-322-3200 www.twistslc.com • 11:00am - 1:00am

BREAKING BINGO AT THE SUE AT 8PM $300 POT

NOV 22

VJ Birdman @ 10:00 on the Big Screen

ALL UTAH HOME GAMES NOV 11 VS Washington State 3:30 NOV 25 VS Colorado

$1 TACOS, FOLLOWED BY KARAOKE

THURS

TUESDAY:

LUMPY’S BUS!

MAD MAX MONEY MACHINE

thursday, november 9 seattle @ arizona

INTRODUCING! $5 STEAK NIGHT @ 5PM EVERY THURSDAY EW!

N karaoke w/ dj bekster 9p,m

friday, november 10

DJ MATTY MO saturday, november 11

UTAH VS WASHINGTON STATE

DJ LATU Weeknights monday

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

wednesday

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

WEDNESDAY 11/15 Cindy Wilson, Olivia Jean, Primitive Programme

While The B-52’s might not have the street cred that some of their late ’70s contemporaries enjoyed, a look back over the last 40 years of their existence reveals that this eccentric little new wave band from Athens, Ga., has been extremely influential on ’80s and ’90s music. While band founders Fred Schneider and Kate Pierson have enjoyed moderate solo success, Cindy Wilson is mounting her own return to music, having released two synthpop EPs over the past year, with her first full-length album Change (Kill Rock Stars) poised to make a splash in December. Joined by her band— which features Suny Lyons (Dream Boat, Phosphorescent), Ryan Monahan (Easter Island) and Marie Davon (Powerkompany)— the singer’s dreamy sonic evolution has come a long way from the love shack. Americana witch Olivia Jean (formerly of garage-goth quartet The Black Belles) and local retro-futurists Primitive Programme open the show (AS) Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $20-$35, 21+, metromusichall.com

Hard Working Americans

thursday

KARAOKE W/ DJ BEKSTER 9PM

Most supergroups are cheap, orgiastic assemblies of familiar names that would just be another decent band without

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

| CITY WEEKLY |

Hard Working Americans

Cindy Wilson

their grabby résumés—and whose work is often, ironically, not up to their usual snuff. Sometimes, it’s because the project is contrived and money/ego-driven. Not that these bands were ever holy undertakings: The first supergroup, Cream, was orchestrated by notorious Rolling Stone cofounder Jann Wenner. But when a supergroup works, when they actually resemble the superheroic dream teams formed by forces cosmic and organic (that their managers portray them to be), where each player is the only individual that can perform their certain duty? Look out! More hype. Well, legend is integral to the concept; it’s all about getting your attention and selling a product. Some of these bands might come together like fated hearts in a serendipitous romance, but most don’t. This one did, founded by a barefoot gypsy stoner bard and a Sasquatchian bass player/ producer, along with guys you’d know from other bands. Except that Hard Working Americans doesn’t even want to be called a supergroup. In fact, although they’re not trying to hide—you might already know their names—the band insists that they be kept off of album covers and tour posters. That way, HWA can be taken on its own merits as a group of everyman superheroes making a racket only friends can muster. And getting to know a band that way beats the hell out of any hype. (Randy Harward) The State Room, 638 S. State, 8 p.m., sold out, 21+, thestateroomslc.com

Great food $

5.99 lunch special MONDAY - FRIDAY

12 sunday funday brunch $3 BLOODY MARYS & $3 MIMOSAS FROM 10AM-2PM

31 east 400 SOuth • SLC

801-532-7441 • HOURS: 11AM - 2AM

THEGREENPIGPUB.COM

JOSHUA TIMMERMANS

34 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

SEAN DUNN

LIVE Music

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

LIVE

WINE WEDNESDAY & JAZZ NIGHT | 6:15PM Join a professional to explore wines by the glass. November 8th Selviana Bucerchiale Chianti Riserva November 15th Inama, Carmenere Piu, Veneto, Italy Music at 730.

FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS Enjoy craft cocktails and live music. Get here early as it fills up fast!

THIRSTY THURSDAYS $3 pints and $3 whiskeys, $5 gin, $4 vodka, $5 tequila, $4 rum.

TASTING TUESDAYS Join us for a whiskey tasting with a professional. | 6pm

...

SUNDAY NIGHT Industry night $3 pints $3 whiskeys MONDAYS Blues night

...

1/2 OFF TACOS 11 AM-4 PM DAILY THIS WEEKS LIVE MUSIC NOVEMBER 08 NOVEMBER 09 NOVEMBER 10 NOVEMBER 11 NOVEMBER 13 NOVEMBER 15

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 10TH

COREY CHRISTIANSEN TRIO ERIC ANTHONY DJ CHASE ONE2 RICK GERBER MARMALADE CHILL THE NUMBER ONES BLUES ON FIRST WITH NICK GRECO THE JFQ QUARTET

| 7:30-10:30 | 6-9 PM | 10-1 AM | 6-9 PM | 10-1 AM | 10-1 AM | 7:30-10:30 | 7:30-10:30

HOT HOUSE WEST SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 11TH

TONY HOLIDAY

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

(801) 532-2068 155 W 200 S Salt Lake City, UT, 84101 www.lakeeffectslc.com

AND THE VELVETONES

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 14TH

VETS EAT FREE ON VETERAN’S DAY! 1492 S. STATE · 801.468.1492 PIPERDOWNPUB.COM

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 35

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

| CITY WEEKLY |

SHAWN WILLIAMS

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

36 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

WEDNESDAY 11/15

CONCERTS & CLUBS

MARC LEMOINE

The White Buffalo

Watch all College and NFL games

on our 30+ Full HD TV’s

Not to be confused with Buffalo Springfield, Buffalo Tom or Donna the Buffalo, The White Buffalo—the nom de plume for founder and mainstay Jake Smith—is in a herd all his own. Indeed, despite the handle, Smith has managed to make a formidable name for himself courtesy of six exceptional albums and various EPs released over the past 14 years. With his first efforts, released independently, he began building a brand by sowing a blend of frayed folk, punk and alt-country, establishing a sound that’s both gritty and passionate, edgy and insurgent. Given wide exposure through musical contributions to cable’s cult classics Sons of Anarchy and Californication, Smith quickly accumulated additional notoriety. However, it’s clear he’s hit his peak with an exceptional new album, the tellingly titled Darkest Darks, Lightest Lights (Unison). The record finds him elevating both his attitude and aptitude through songs that are rowdier than usual. Given its deliberate approach, it might very well be a breakthrough record, inspiring a stampede of ardent new admirers. (Lee Zimmerman) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 8 p.m., $17 presale; $25 day of show, 21+, depotslc.com

SPIRITS . FOOD . LOCAL BEER

$3 Miller Lite Imperial Pints Sunday and Monday Enjoy APPY HOUR 1/2 off appetizers every day 4pm-6pm & 10pm-midnight. Play Geeks Who Drink Trivia every Tuesday at 6:30 Play Breaking Bingo every Wednesday at 9:00

call for reservations

NOVEMBER 9

TNF SEATTLE @ ARIZONA MICHELLE MOONSHINE 10PM

NOVEMBER 12

NFL SUNDAY BRUNCH 10-3 SUNDAY NIGHT BLUES WITH HARRY LEE AND THE BACK ALLEY BLUES BAND 9PM

NOVEMBER 11

SATURDAY BRUNCH 10-3 COLLEGE FOOTBALL ALL DAY UTES VS WASHINGTON STATE FOLLOWED BY CHASEONE2

NOVEMBER 13

MNF MIAMI @ CAROLINA FOLLOWED BY MONDAY NIGHT JAZZ SESSION WITH DAVID HALLIDAY AND THE JVQ

NOVEMBER 15

DINNER AND A SHOW WITH ERIC ANTHONY 5:30-8:30 LIVE MUSIC WITH MATT WENNERGREN 10PM-1AM

OPEN

365 DAYS A YEAR

326 S. West Temple • Open 11-2am, M-F 10-2am Sat & Sun • graciesslc.com • 801-819-7565

•LIVE M U S IC• 11.9 11.10 11.11 11.13 11.15 11.16 11.17 11.18

MORGAN SNOW TONY HOLIDAY & THE VELVETONES LOS HELLCAMINOS OPEN BLUES JAM HOSTED BY ROBBY’S BLUES EXPLOSION GEORGE NELSON MICHAEL DALLIN LAKE EFFECT PHOENIX RISING

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD ROAD 801.733.5567 | THEHOGWALLOW.COM

CONCERTS & CLUBS THURSDAY 11/9 LIVE MUSIC

4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

www.theroyalslc.com

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu nfl football

jersey giveaways every sunday, monday & thursday

great food & drink specials

KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

wednesday 11/08

at the Royal

josh heinrichs

w/ special guests sol tribe i skillinja i amino cruz

friDAY 11/10

Live Music

KARAOKE

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke Thursdays (Prohibition) Zim Zam Karaoke (Funk ‘n’ Dive)

dulce sky

FRIDAY 11/10

cd release party saturday 11/11

Live Music

open mic night

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

coming soon

dubbest green leefs i funk & gonzo

12/1

wayland

october rage berlin breaks i reloaded ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

@CITYWEEKLY

DIAMOND POOL TABLES LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS

DART SUPPLIES PAINT NIGHT (THURS & SAT)

3425 S. State St. Suite D 385-528-2547 Tues & Fri: 3pm-1am Saturday: 11am-1am Sunday: 11am-9pm Closed Monday

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 37

11/22

Amanda Johnson (The Spur Bar & Grill) Artwork + Imalive + Citizen Soldier + A Lost Asylum (The Loading Dock) Big Face + Soulrise + Mike Ferguson (Funk ‘n’ Dive) Blockhead + Chaseone2 + Concise Kilgore (Urban Lounge) Don Felder (The Depot) Dulce Sky + Lord Vox + Musor + Whisperhawk (The Royal) Guantanamo Baywatch + Night Shapes + 90s Television + Dream Slut (Diabolical Records) see p. 32 Hectic Hobo (O.P. Rockwell) Hearts Of Steele (Outlaw Saloon) Hot House West (Piper Down Pub) Joshua James (Metro Music Hall) Kap Bros. (Brewskis) L.O.L + DJ Dance Party (Club 90)

TWITTER

PHOENIX SOFT TIP DARTS

| CITY WEEKLY |

poonhammer playing ghosts

LIVE MUSIC

Andrew w. Boss Tuesday 11/14

Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar & Grill) Dueling Pianos (Keys On Main) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) The New Wave ’80s Night w/ DJ Radar (Area 51) Gothic/Darkwave w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Zomboy (Sky) Twist Jazz/Blues Jam (Twist)

KARAOKE (THURS)

amfs & long islands 1/2 off nachos & Free pool

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

LIVE MUSIC

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

karaoke @ 9:00 i bingo @ 9:30, 10:30, 11:30 Thursday 11/09 Reggae

Bl_ank + Ada Babar + Sympathy Pain + Sister Missionary (Diabolical Records) Clan:destine (In The Venue) Consider The Source + Telesomniac + Afterhand (Kilby Court) Eric Anthony + Chaseone2 (Lake Effect) Honky Blue Tonky (O.P. Rockwell) Justin Jay (Elevate) Manatee Commune + Dave B (Velour) Morgan Snow (Hog Wallow Pub) Paul Cauthen + The Texas Gentlemen (Urban Lounge) Reggae at the Royal feat. Josh Heinrichs + Soltribe + Skillinjah + Animo Cruz (The Royal) Rittz + Sam Lachow + Eric Biddines (The Complex) Tropicana Night feat. Rumba Libre (Liquid Joe’s) Tobi Ali & Paria + Lisa Frank (Metro Music Hall)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

38 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

Trails Gentlemen’s Club

COLIN WOLF

BAR FLY

— Over 75 Beers Available — Live Music & DJ Fridays & Saturdays Brunch Party with Live DJ Every 1st & 3rd Sunday Every Month NEX BRUNC T H PA NOV. 1 THRTY 9 BUIL

UTES 5 MIN HE T FROM THE F BASE O OOD NW COTTO ONS CANY

LIVE MUSIC FRIDAY & SATURDAY 6PM - 9PM

D OWN B YOUR LO MIMO ODY, S BELLIN A & I BAR

DJ’S FRIDAY & SATURDAY 9PM - CLOSE

FULL DINING MENU AVAILABLE FROM CAFE TRIO

RESERVATIONS FOR SPECIAL EVENTS / PRIVATE PARTIES

6405 s 3000 e | 801.943.1696 | elixirloungeslc.com

THUR 11.9• PAUL CAUTHEN THE TEXAS GENTLEMAN

FRI 11.10 • BLOCKHEAD CHASE ONE TWO, CONCISE KILGORE

SAT 11.11 • FREE KITTENS COMEDY TANNER NICHOLSON, BRAIN D MOORE, NATASHIA MOWER, AARON ORLOVITZ

SUN 11.11 • DUBWISE 11 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Several weeks ago, I found myself walking past Trails. My mind flashed back to my first visit to the gentlemen’s club, in what must have been 1993. I’d heard tales of what was then called Golden Trails since high school—similar to the exaggerated legends repeated by Pee Wee, Meat and the gang about the titular establishment in the ’80s comedy Porky’s. I stepped out of the car into a night fraught with anticipation, my I.D. locked and loaded. Beneath flickering neon, I presented it like a magic amulet that rendered the doorman powerless to deny me entry. But once inside, I was a deer in headlights. The curtain had been pulled back, revealing what I’d heretofore only seen in magazines, on TV screens and in one brief glimpse inside Dracula’s Castle at Lagoon. I didn’t know what to do. My companions ushered me to the front row, giving me a crash course in using rolled-up greenbacks as bait. When a dancer zeroed in on my cylindrical bill, blood rushed to my cheeks. I hadn’t considered that this transaction entailed real interaction; unlike those glossy dream-girls, she could see me. Sensing my virginity, she gave me my money’s worth, and my friends some laughs. The novelty wore off quickly, but I sometimes find myself at Trails for birthday or bachelor parties. My priorities and perspective have shifted over time, so I’m more likely to drool over a Trails cheeseburger and cold, frothy beer than ogle the ladies. In fact, it’s a bigger thrill to spot the young kids on their first hurrah, and remember what it’s like to have your whole life—a real golden trail—ahead of you. (Randy Harward) 921 S. 300 West, 801-363-2871, facebook.com/trailsclub

Michelle Moonshine & Co. (The Spur Bar & Grill) Mindy Gledhill (Velour) Rick Gerber + Marmalade Chill (Lake Effect) Secondhand Serenade + Ronnie Winter + Nick Johnson (The Complex) Stacked Like Pancakes + The Anchorage + Scheming Thieves (Club X) The Stratmores + Escher Case + Swans Of Never (The Ice Haüs) Tony Holiday & The Velvetones (Hog Wallow Pub) Walking Corpse Syndrome + Incrypted + Dipped In Whiskey + Darkblood (Liquid Joe’s) Wicked Bears + Problem Daughter (Kilby Court) Wild Country (The Westerner Club)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

SATURDAY 11/11 LIVE MUSIC

Big Red Judy Band (O.P. Rockwell) Brother & Haarlem + Grove (Velour) Crook & The Bluff (Funk ‘n’ Dive) Death From Above + The Beaches (Metro Music Hall) Depths Of Hatred + Widowmaker + Rue The Day + Cries Of The Captive (The Loading Dock)

THUR 11.9 • THE EP RELEASE PARTY 11/16: THE HOLLERING PINES 11/17: L.A. WITCH 11/18: ALL YOU CAN BEAT 11/19: THE FLOBOTS 11/21: GRYFFIN 11/22: HERBAN EMPIRE

DJ MADD, ILLOOM

TOBI ALI & PANA OF CLEARSAUCE MEDIA, LISA FRANK

FRI 11.10 • JOSHUA JAMES TBA

SAT 11.11 • DEATH FROM ABOVE BEACHES

SUN 11.12 •FEED SALT LAKE

CERA, DOCTOR BARBER, DEELANZ, FIRST DAZE, LITTLE BAREFOOT, AND MORE!

MON 11.12 • AMIGO THE DEVIL

TUES 11.12 • NIX BEAT GOING AWAY PARTY

TUES 11.14 • GIRAFFAGE

WED 11.14 • CUT COPY

SWEATER BEATS, WINGTIP

PALMBOMEN II

TUES 11.14 • SLAINE VS TERMANOLOGY

THUR 11.15 • CINDY WILSON (OF THE B-52S) OLIVIA JEAN, PRIMITIVE PROGRAMME

ANDREW SHEPPARD, MIKE FRAZIER, WIL RIDGE, LORIN WALKER MADSEN

SEAN STRANGE, DJ ILLEGAL, SNOWGOONS, GLIFE, AND MORE

DJ Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Jpan (Downstairs) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Dueling Pianos (Keys On Main) Friday Night Fun (All-Request Dance) w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door)

• THEURBANLOUNGESLC.COM •

CALI BORDER PATROL, THE ARVOS, THE BOYS RANCH, BRAIN BAGZ

• METROMUSICHALL.COM •

11/16: ACEYALONE 11/17: ORIGIN 11/18: SLOW MAGIC 11/19: LEGGY MEGGY’S BIRTHDAY BASH 11/21: GUTTERMOUTH 11/22: DANCE EVOLUTION

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 39

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

40 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

CONCERTS & CLUBS Dubwise + DJ Madd +Illoom (Urban Lounge) Equinox + Flyt Plan (Flanagan’s) Hearts Of Steele (Outlaw Saloon) Ja Rule + Ashanti (The Complex) Kid Cudi (The Great Saltair) see p. 32 Kyle Flesch (Downstairs) Live Trio (The Red Door) L.O.L + DJ Dance Party (Club 90) Michael Ferguson (Funk ‘n’ Dive) The Number Ones (Lake Effect) Pixie and the Partygrass Boys (The Spur) Stonefed + You Topple Over (The State Room) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Slaughter Beach, Dog + Shannen Moser + Housewarming Party (Kilby Court) Thunderfist + Draize Method + Hi-Fi Murder (The Ice Haüs) Tony Holiday & The Velvetones (Piper Down Pub) WifisFuneral + Danny Towers + 458Keez + Cris Dinero + DJ Yazmine (The Complex) Wild Country (The Westerner Club)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Alternative + Top 40 & EDM w/ DJ

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Jeremiah (Area 51) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Dueling Pianos (Keys On Main) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Gothic + Industrial & 80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Sky Saturdays w/ DJ Dizz (Sky)

KARAOKE

LIVE MUSIC

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ B-RAD (Club 90)

SUNDAY 11/12 LIVE MUSIC

Dark Hearts Tour, feat. Amigo The Devil & Andrew Sheppard + Mike Frazier + Will Ridge + Lorin Walker Madsen (Urban Lounge) see p. 32 Hirie + Nattali Rize (Elevate) Irish Session Folks (Sugar House Coffee) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Mini Golf + Slow No + Fairpark Twins + Ashleigh FKA Cat Ghost (Kilby Court) Patrick Ryan (The Spur)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar and Grill) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig)

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke Church w/ DJ Ducky (Club Jam)

MONDAY 11/13

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub) Open Mic (The Cabin)

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP

Most LP's valued @ $2 - $7, some $8 - $10 Over 1500 LP's added on both Fri & Sat @ 10:00 AM

Cut Copy + Palmbomen II (Metro Music Hall) Corey Adams (The Spur Bar & Grill) Giraffage + Sweater Beats + Wingtip (Urban Lounge) Microwave + Household + Blis (The Loading Dock) Shawn Williams (Piper Down Pub) SonReal (Kilby Court) Son Little + Jade Bird (The State Room) Whistling Rufus (Sugar House Coffee)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Cabin Fever (The Cabin) Open Mic (The Royal) Open Mic (Alchemy Coffee)

KARAOKE

Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ Zim Zam Ent. (Club 90)

Indian Style Tapas

WINTER $2 VINYL SALE

FRIDAY, NOV 17TH & SATURDAY, NOV 18TH

TUESDAY 11/14 LIVE MUSIC

Aaron West & The Roaring Twenties + Steady Hands + Chase Huglin + Shortly + Crooked Teeth (Kilby Court) Amanda Johnson (The Spur Bar & Grill) Blues On First w/ Nick Greco (Lake Effect) Cecile McLorin Salvant (Jazz SLC) Children Of Bodom + Carach Angren + Lost Society + Uncured (The Complex) Kishi Bashi + Tall Tall Trees (The State Room)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Karaoke Bingo (Tavernacle) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

From the Creators of The Himalayan Kitchen Next to Himalayan Kitchen

The

Chakra Lounge and Bar

“UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

Nightly Music

Friday 11/10 - DJ Birdman Saturday 11/11 - J Godina & Caviar Club DJ’s Wednesday 11/15 - Live Jazz Thursday 11/16 - The SLC

ChakraLounge.net 364 S State St. Salt Lake City Open 5 - 1am Mon-Thurs • 10am - 1am Fri-Sun TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

SUNDAYS & MONDAYS

MONDAYS

FREE GAME BOARD FOR NFL

BREAKING BINGO 9PM $700

ALL SUNDAY GAMES KNEEL OR STAND @ JOHNNY’S! TUESDAYS

GROOVE TUESDAYS JOHNNYSONSECOND.COM

SATURDAY, NOV. 11

Offering full bar, with innovative elixers, late night small plate menu

WEDNESDAYS

KARAOKE

WASATCH POKER TOUR

SUN. & THUR. & 8PM SAT. @ 2PM FRIDAYS

FUNKIN’ FRIDAY

DJ RUDE BOY WITH BAD BOY BRIAN

165 E 200 S SLC | 801.746.3334

VENUE DIRECTORY

LIVE MUSIC & KARAOKE

| CITY WEEKLY |

NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 41

LUMPY’S ON HIGHLAND 3000 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-484-5597 THE MADISON 295 W. Center St., Provo, 801-375-9000, live music & DJs MAXWELL’S EAST COAST EATERY 357 Main, SLC, 801-328-0304, poker Tuesday; DJs Friday & Saturday METRO MUSIC HALL 615 W. 100 South, SLC, 801-520-6067, DJs THE MOOSE LOUNGE 180 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-900-7499, DJs NO NAME SALOON 447 Main, Park City, 435-649-6667 O.P. ROCKWELL 268 Main, Park City, 435-615-7000, live music PARK CITY LIVE 427 Main, Park City, 435-649-9123, live music PAT’S BBQ 155 W. Commonwealth Ave., SLC, 801-484-5963, live music ThursdaySaturday, all ages PIPER DOWN 1492 S. State, SLC, 801-468-1492, poker Monday, acoustic Tuesday, trivia Wednesday, bingo Thursday POPLAR STREET PUB 242 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-532-2715, live music Thursday-Saturday THE RED DOOR 57 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-363-6030, DJs Friday, live jazz Saturday THE ROYAL 4760 S. 900 East, SLC, 801-590-9940, live music SCALLYWAGS 3040 S. State, SLC, 801-604-0869 SKY 149 W. Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-883-8714, live music THE SPUR BAR & GRILL 352 Main, Park City, 435-615-1618, live music THE STATE ROOM 638 S. State, SLC, 800-501-2885, live music THE STEREO ROOM 521 N. 1200 West, Orem, 714-345-8163, live music, All ages SUGAR HOUSE PUB 1992 S. 1100 East, SLC, 801-413-2857 THE SUN TRAPP 102 S. 600 West, SLC, 385-235-6786 TAVERNACLE 201 E. 300 South, SLC, 801-519-8900, dueling pianos WednesdaySaturday; karaoke Sunday-Tuesday TIN ANGEL CAFÉ 365 W. 400 South, SLC, 801-328-4155, live music URBAN LOUNGE 241 S. 500 East, SLC, 801-746-0557, live music TWIST 32 Exchange Place, SLC, 801-322-3200, live music VELOUR 135 N. University Ave., Provo, 801-818-2263, live music, all ages WASTED SPACE 342 S. State, SLC, 801-531-2107, DJs Thursday-Saturday THE WESTERNER 3360 S. Redwood Road, West Valley City, 801-972-5447, live music WILLIE’S LOUNGE 1716 S. Main, SLC, 760-828-7351, trivia Wednesday; karaoke Friday-Sunday; live music ZEST KITCHEN & BAR 275 S. 200 West, SLC, 801-433-0589, DJs

THE FILLING STATION 8987 W. 2810 South, Magna, 801-981-8937, karaoke Thursday FLANAGAN’S ON MAIN 438 Main, Park City, 435-649-8600, trivia Tuesday; live music Friday & Saturday FOX HOLE PUB & GRILL 7078 S. Redwood Road, West Jordan, 801-566-4653, karaoke & live music FUNK ’N’ DIVE BAR 2550 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 801-621-3483, live music & karaoke THE GARAGE 1199 Beck St., SLC, 801-521-3904, live music GRACIE’S 326 S. West Temple, SLC, 801-819-7565, live music & DJs THE GREAT SALTAIR 12408 W. Saltair Drive, Magna, 801-250-6205, live music THE GREEN PIG PUB 31 E. 400 South, SLC, 801-532-7441, live music ThursdaySaturday HABITS 832 E. 3900 South, SLC, 801-268-2228, poker Monday; ladies night Tuesday; ’80s night Wednesday; karaoke Thursday; DJs Friday & Saturday THE HIDEOUT 3424 S. State, SLC, 801-466-2683, karaoke Thursday; DJs & live music Friday & Saturday HIGHLANDER 6194 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-277-8251, karaoke HOG WALLOW PUB 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, SLC, 801-733-5567, live music THE HOTEL/CLUB ELEVATE 149 W. 200 South, SLC, 801-478-4310, DJs HUKA BAR & GRILL 151 E. 6100 South, Murray, 801-281-4852, reggae Tuesday, DJs Friday & Saturday ICE HAÜS 7 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801-266-2127 IN THE VENUE/CLUB SOUND 219 S. 600 West, SLC, 801-359-3219, live music & DJs JACKALOPE LOUNGE 372 S. State, SLC, 801-359-8054, DJs JAM 751 N. Panther Way, SLC, 801-3828567, karaoke Tuesday, Wednesday & Sunday; DJs Thursday-Saturday JOHNNY’S ON SECOND 165 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-3334, DJs Tuesday & Friday; karaoke Wednesday; live music Saturday KARAMBA 1051 E. 2100 South, SLC, 801-696-0639, DJs KEYS ON MAIN 242 S. Main, SLC, 801-363-3638, karaoke Tuesday & Wednesday; dueling pianos Thursday-Saturday KILBY COURT 741 S. Kilby Court (330 West), SLC, 801-364-3538, live music, all ages THE LEPRECHAUN INN 4700 S. 900 East, Murray, 801-268-3294 LIQUID JOE’S 1249 E. 3300 South, SLC, 801-467-5637, live music Tuesday-Saturday THE LOADING DOCK 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 385-229-4493, live music, all ages LUCKY 13 135 W. 1300 South, SLC, 801-487-4418, trivia Wednesday LUMPY’S DOWNTOWN 145 Pierpont Ave., SLC, 801-883-8714

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A BAR NAMED SUE 3928 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-274-5578, trivia Tuesday, DJ Wednesday, karaoke Thursday A BAR NAMED SUE ON STATE 8136 S. State, SLC, 801-566-3222, karaoke Tuesday ABG’S LIBATION EMPORIUM 190 W. Center St., Provo, 801-373-1200, live music ALLEGED 205 25th St., Ogden, 801-990-0692 AREA 51 451 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-534-0819, karaoke Wednesday, ‘80s Thursday, DJs Friday & Saturday BAR-X 155 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-355-2287 BARBARY COAST 4242 S. State, Murray, 801-265-9889 BIG WILLIE’S 1717 S. Main, SLC, 801-463-4996, karaoke Tuesday, live music Saturday THE BAYOU 645 S. State, SLC, 801-961-8400, live music Friday & Saturday BOURBON HOUSE 19 E. 200 South, SLC, 801-746-1005, local jazz jam Tuesday, karaoke Thursday, live music Saturday, funk & soul night Sunday BREWSKIS 244 25th St., Ogden, 801-394-1713, live music CHEERS TO YOU 315 S. Main, SLC, 801-575-6400, karaoke Friday-Sunday CHEERS TO YOU MIDVALE 7642 S. State, 801-566-0871, karaoke Saturday CHUCKLE’S LOUNGE 221 W. 900 South, SLC, 801-532-1721 CIRCLE LOUNGE 328 S. State, SLC, 801-531-5400, DJs CISERO’S 306 Main, Park City, 435-6496800, live music & DJs; karaoke Thursday CLUB 48 16 E. 4800 South, Murray, 801-262-7555 CLUB 90 9065 S. Monroe St., Sandy, 801-566-3254, trivia Monday, poker Thursday, live music Friday-Sunday CLUB TRY-ANGLES 251 W. Harvey Milk Blvd., SLC, 801-364-3203, karaoke Thursday; DJs Friday & Saturday CLUB X 445 S. 400 West, SLC, 801-935-4267, live music & DJs THE COMPLEX 536 W. 100 South, SLC, 801-528-9197, live music CRUZRS SALOON 3943 S. Highland Drive, SLC, 801-272-1903, free pool Wednesday & Thursday; karaoke Friday & Saturday DAWG POUND 3350 S. State, SLC, 801-261-2337, live music THE DEPOT 400 W. South Temple, SLC, 801-355-5522, live music DONKEY TAILS CANTINA 136 E. 12300 South, Draper, 801-571-8134, karaoke Wednesday; live music Tuesday, Thursday & Friday; DJ Saturday DOWNSTAIRS 625 Main, Park City, 435-615-7200, live music & DJs ELIXIR LOUNGE 6405 S. 3000 East, Holladay, 801-943-1696 THE FALLOUT 625 S. 600 West, SLC, 801-953-6374, live music

NIGHT LIGHTS

Big Thief - Urban Lounge

Spoon - The Depot

Big Thief - Urban Lounge

42 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

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Spoon - The Depot

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Deer Tick - Urban Lounge

Black Angels - The Depot

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NOVEMBER 9, 2017 | 43

Deer Tick - Urban Lounge

ANTE

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

wright Paul ____ 52. ____-ground missile 54. Device read with a laser 57. Apollo plucked it 59. Its cap. is Quito 61. Cry upon getting a tough crossword clue

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

4. Janet who was #3 on the 2016 Forbes “World’s 100 Most Powerful Women” list 5. Kazan who directed “On the Waterfront” 6. Insurance giant named for a volcano 7. Record label for Pitbull and Pink 8. Like some seas and teas 9. Not yet acquired, as knowledge 10. Trailer park people, for short 11. Makes a queue 12. Having feeling 16. Moist towelette 21. Sculptor Noguchi 22. Underground Railroad leader 25. Hold nothing back 28. Cavern, in poetry 30. Styx and the Stones 34. “Phooey!” 37. Honey and sugar, e.g. 38. Yale of Yale University 39. Crumples into a ball 40. Makes aware 41. Red hot chili pepper 44. Steaminess DOWN 45. Rivera on TV 1. Subject of the photo “Guerrillero Heroico” 46. Approach 2. Jam fruit 50. Tony-winning play3. Reason for a 10th inning, say

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Prohibition era gun 4. 2018, e.g. 8. Throws 13. Reuters competitor 14. Monopoly util. 15. Visible 17. Emily Dickinson’s “Ended, ____ it begun” 18. Grammy-nominated Ford 19. “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” actress Headly 20. Self-appointed justice seeker 22. What’s left 23. Have ____ of the jitters 24. ____ Dhabi 26. Actor Armand 27. Pax ____ (uneasy peace) 29. E.g., e.g. 31. Tony winner Hagen 32. “Lemme ____!” 33. Illustrator Rockwell 35. Verve 36. Increase risk and reward (or a hint to solving 20-, 26-, 51- and 58-Across) 39. London lavs, initially 42. Picking up a quart of milk, say 43. ____ Mason (investment giant) 47. Pub pint 48. Greenish-blue 49. Evening bash 51. Early TV star Jimmy with a biography titled “Schnozzola” 53. “Everyone needs a little ____” (cable channel slogan) 55. Not having quite enough money 56. Radio’s “The Lone Ranger” and others 58. Coming-out party honoree 60. Onetime “Be all you can be” sloganeer 61. BP sale of 2013 62. Land in la mer 63. “The Homecoming” playwright Harold 64. One of 24 in a day 65. Christian denom. that observes the Sabbath on Saturday 66. Tight rope? 67. “Walk Like ____” (1963 hit) 68. N. African land

SUDOKU

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44 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Remember the time, all those years ago, when the angels appeared to you on the playground and showed you how and why to kiss the sky? I predict that a comparable visitation will arrive soon. And do you recall the dreamy sequence in adolescence when you first plumbed the sublime mysteries of sex? You’re as ripe as you were then, primed to unlock more of nature’s wild secrets. Maybe at no other time in many years, in fact, have you been in quite so favorable a position to explore paradise right here on Earth. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) As a courtesy to your mental health, I minimize your exposure to meaningless trivia. In fact, I generally try to keep you focused instead on enlightening explorations. But in this horoscope, in accordance with astrological omens, I’m giving you a temporary, short-term license to go slumming. What shenanigans is your ex up to lately, anyway? Would your old friend, the bankrupt coke addict, like to party with you? Just for laughs, should you revisit the dead-end fantasy that always makes you crazy? There is a good possibility that exposing yourself to bad influences like those I just named could have a tonic effect on you, Sagittarius. You might get so thoroughly disgusted by them that you’ll never again allow them to corrupt your devotion to the righteous groove, to the path with heart.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) I’m falling in love with the way you have been falling in love with exciting possibilities that you once thought were impossible. Oh, baby. Please go further. Thrilling chills surge through me whenever you get that ravenous glint in your mind’s eye. I can almost hear you thinking, “Maybe those dreams aren’t so impossible, after all. Maybe I can heal myself and change myself enough to pursue them in earnest. Maybe I can learn success strategies that were previously beyond my power to imagine.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Are you working on solving the right problem? Or are you distracted by a lesser dilemma, perhaps consumed in dealing with an issue that’s irrelevant to your long-term goals? I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I’m sure it’s important that you meditate on them. Everything good that can unfold for you in 2018 will require you to focus on what matters most—and not get sidetracked by peripheral issues or vague wishes. Now is an excellent time to set your unshakable intentions. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) We all experience loneliness. We’ve all felt isolated, misunderstood and unappreciated. That’s the bad news, Virgo. The good news is that the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to make loneliness less of a problem. I urge you to brainstorm and meditate about how to do that. Here are some crazy ideas to get you started. 1. Nurture ongoing connections with the spirits of beloved people who have died. 2. Imagine having conversations with your guardian angel or spirit guide. 3. Make a deal with a “partner in loneliness”: a person you pray or sing with whenever either of you feels bereft. 4. Write messages to your Future Self or Past Self. 5. Communicate with animals. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The drive for absolute perfection could undermine your ability to create what’s very good and just right. Please don’t make that mistake in the coming weeks. Likewise, refrain from demanding utter purity, pristine precision or immaculate virtue. To learn the lessons you need to know and launch the trends you can capitalize on in 2018, all that’s necessary is to give your best. You don’t have to hit the bull’s eye with every arrow you shoot—or even any arrow you shoot. Simply hitting the target will be fine in the early going.

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ARIES (March 21-April 19) Adriana Martinez and Octavio Guillen got engaged to be married when they were both 15 years old. But they kept delaying a more complete unification for 67 years. At last, when they were 82, they celebrated their wedding and pledged their vows to each other. Are there comparable situations in your life, Aries? The coming months will be a favorable time to make deeper commitments. At least some of your reasons for harboring ambivalence will become irrelevant. You’ll grow in your ability to thrive on the creative challenges that come from intriguing collaborations and highly focused togetherness.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) “Things to say when in love,” according to Zimbabwe poet Tapiwa Mugabe: “I will put the galaxy in your hair. Your kisses are a mouthful of firewater. I have never seen a more beautiful horizon than when you close your eyes. I have never seen a more beautiful dawn than when you open your eyes.” I hope these words inspire you to improvise further outpourings of adoration. You’re in a phase when expressing your sweet reverence and tender respect for the people you care about will boost you physical health, your emotional wealth and your spiritual resilience.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) The punk ethic is rebellious. It transgresses conventional wisdom through “a cynical absurdity that’s redeemed by being hilarious.” So says author Brian Doherty. In the hippie approach, on the other hand, the prevailing belief is “love is all you need.” It seeks a “manic togetherness and all-encompassing acceptance that are all sweet and no sour— inspiring but also soft and gelatinous.” Ah, but what happens when punk and hippie merge? Doherty says that each moderates the extreme of the other, yielding a tough-minded lust for life that’s both skeptical and celebratory. I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, because the punk-plus-hippie blend is a perfect attitude for you to cultivate in the coming weeks.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) The next two weeks will be one of the best times ever to ask provocative, probing questions. In fact, I invite you to be as curious and receptive as you’ve been since you were 4 years old. When you talk with people, express curiosity more often than you make assertions. Be focused on finding out what you’ve been missing, what you’ve been numb to. When you wake up each morning, use a felt-tip marker to draw a question mark on your forearm. To get you in the mood for this fun project, here are sample queries from poet Pablo Neruda’s Book of Questions: “Who ordered me to tear down the doors of my own pride? Did I finally find myself in the place where they lost me? Is it true our desires must be watered with dew? What did the rubies say standing before the juice of the pomegranates?”

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) In the coming months it will be crucial to carefully monitor the effects you’re having on the world. Your personal actions will rarely be merely personal; they might have consequences for people you don’t know as well as those you’re close to. The ripples you send out in all directions won’t always look dramatic, but you shouldn’t let that delude you about the influence you’re having. If I had to give 2018 a title with you in mind, it might be “The Year of Maximum Social Impact.” And it all starts soon.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) I had pimples when I was a teenager. They’re gone now, although I still have a few pockmarks on my face as souvenirs. In retrospect, I feel gratitude for them. They ensured that in my early years of dating and seeking romance, I would never be able to attract women solely on the basis of my physical appearance. I was compelled to cultivate a wide variety of masculine wiles. I swear that at least half of my motivation to get smarter and become a good listener came from my desire for love. Do you have comparable stories to tell, Taurus? Now is an excellent time to give thanks for what once may have seemed to be a liability or problem.

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46 | NOVEMBER 9, 2017

Notice by Publication Thomas S. Cornett is petitioning for a divorce from Laura Virginia Hernandez Morales and is seeking notification from Laura Virginia Hernandez Morales if she contest the divorce or not. Contact Thomas S. Cornett, inmate number 24548-081 is located a FCI Coleman Medium, 846 NE 54th Terrace, Sumterville, FL 33521. Summons By Publication In The Salt Lake City Dept. Of The Third Judicial District Court, Salt Lake County, State Of Utah. Case No. 179911639, Judge Barry Lawrence. Cascade Collections Llc, Plaintiff V. Samantha Olsen, Defendant. The State Of Utah To Samantha Olsen: You Are Summoned And Required To Answer The Complaint That Is On File With The Court. Within 21 Days After The Last Date Of Publication Of This Summons, You Must File Your Written Answer With The Clerk Of The Court At The Following Address: 450 S State St., Salt Lake City, Ut 84111, And You Must Mail Or Deliver A Copy To Plaintiff's Attorney Chad C. Rasmussen At 2230 N University Pkwy., Ste. 7E, Provo, Ut 84604. If You Fail To Do So, Judgment By Default Will Be Taken Against You For The Relief Demanded In The Complaint. This Lawsuit Is An Attempt To Collect A Debt Of $6,269.98. /S/ Chad C. Rasmussen

SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION IN THE SALT LAKE CITY DEPT. OF THE THIRD JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT, SALT LAKE COUNTY, STATE OF UTAH. CASE NO. 179912314, JUDGE MARK KOURIS. CASCADE COLLECTIONS LLC, PLAINTIFF V. RICHARD VICARS, DEFENDANT. THE STATE OF UTAH TO RICHARD VICARS: You are summoned and required to answer the complaint that is on file with the court. Within 21 days after the last date of publication of this summons, you must file your written answer with the clerk of the court at the following address: 450 S State St., Salt Lake City, UT 84111, and you must mail or deliver a copy to plaintiff ’s attorney Chad C. Rasmussen at 2230 N University Pkwy., Ste. 7E, Provo, UT 84604. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. This lawsuit is an attempt to collect a debt of $7,023.65. /s/ Chad C. Rasmussen

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Nuclear Apocalypse

The leader of North Korea keeps threatening to blow up the U.S. with nuclear bombs. Trump is currently visiting Asia to check on our preparations in case Kim Jong Un gets itchy fingers. Are you scared we might all be glowing with radiation in the near future? Are you ready for the apocalypse? When I was a kid, the same nuclear threat occurred in 1962 during the Cuban missile crisis. Our country feared we were all going to be vaporized in mushroom clouds from our neighbors to the south of Florida. School children like myself were drilled to protect ourselves by hiding under our desks when an alarm sounded. Nowadays, kids still practice drills in case of a mass shooting, but back then, our teachers never spoke of guns—just bombs. Additionally, if we were able to crawl out from under our desks after the “attack,” we were to go to the nearest “fallout shelter.” These hiding spaces were set up all around the country in public buildings and served as emergency sanctuary to protect survivors from radiation until someone told us it was safe to leave. Inside the shelter there would be provisions, bedding, water, medical supplies, flashlights, batteries, etc., that might last a week, a month or a year. Generally, the shelters were in basements marked with yellow signs emblazoned with three black triangles. The man who created that sign, Robert Blakeley, died on Oct. 25 at the age of 95. His sign of the times symbolized an era of fear during the Cold War, and it’s just as real today as it was back then. However, we no longer have fallout shelters. According to The Salt Lake Tribune, SLC had at least four: the Masonic Temple, the Utah State Capitol, the Pioneer Memorial Museum and the Y WCA. Yet, by the 1970s, we had enough shelters to house Utah’s entire population. I recently called each of the four and no one I spoke with said the shelters would be available to use during an attack. In 1962, it seemed every neighbor had dug up their backyard and installed a small underground bunker. My family, however, did not. I was terrified that we would die due to lack of planning. I asked my dad what we would do if we faced the end of the world and he said, “We’ll just use the neighbor’s shelter.” That sorta made me calmer. Luckily, the missile crisis only lasted about two weeks before the threat vaporized itself. n

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Traditions The 72nd annual Yellville (Arkansas) Turkey Trot, which took place on Oct. 14, is famous for its Turkey Drop, in which live turkeys are dropped from a low-flying airplane and then chased by festivalgoers. This year, KY3.com reports, several turkeys were dropped during the afternoon despite animal-rights activists having filed a formal complaint with the sheriff’s office, saying the pilot “terrorized” the birds. But pharmacist and past pilot Dana Woods told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette: “We treat the turkeys right. That may sound ironic, but we don’t abuse those turkeys. We coddle and pet those turkeys. We’re good to them.” Wild turkeys can fly, but in 2016, about a dozen turkeys were dropped and not all survived. According to The Washington Post, over the past several years, local sponsors and the chamber of commerce have distanced themselves from the Turkey Drop, now more than 5 decades old. The Federal Aviation Administration is checking to see if any laws or regulations were broken, but said it has not intervened in past years because the turkeys are not considered to be projectiles.

BY T HE EDITO R S AT A ND RE WS M cMEEL

started “cooking up a storm,” owner Will Colón told Newsday. Cameras recorded as the thief cooked beans, sautéed shrimp and chicken, and helped himself to a cold soda before enjoying his meal. “The way he handled that pan, man, the dude had some skills,” Colón said. Afterward, he carefully stored the leftovers in the refrigerator, cleaned his pans and wiped down all the surfaces he had used. Then he took off through the back window, the same way he had come in.

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WEIRD

‘Tis the Season Could turkeys be sensing the peril of the season? Police in Bridgewater, Mass., tweeted a warning to the town’s residents on Oct. 15 about aggressive wild turkeys, WBZ-TV reported. As proof, an accompanying video showed four turkeys chasing a Bridgewater police cruiser, but police were not as amused as their Twitter followers. “Aggressive turkeys are a problem in town,” the department tweeted. “State law doesn’t allow the police or [animal control] to remove them.”

Most Considerate Criminal Nelly’s Taquería in Hicksville, N.Y., suffered a break-in on Oct. 3, but the burglar redefined the term “clean getaway.” Surveillance video showed a man donning food-service gloves and starting a pot of water to boil before hammering open the cash register. He secured $100 in his pockets, leaving a dollar in the tip jar, then

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n An anonymous collector from Palm Beach, Fla., was the winning bidder in an Oct. 11 online auction for a half-smoked cigar that British Prime Minister Winston Churchill enjoyed during a 1947 trip to Paris. AP reports the 4-inch cigar remnant brought just over $12,000 in the auction managed by Boston-based RR Auction. The company says Churchill smoked the cigar on May 11, 1947, at Le Bourget Airport. A British airman, Cpl. William Alan Turner, kept the cigar after he and his crew flew Churchill and his wife between Paris and London. The label on the Cuban stogie includes Churchill’s name.

Least Competent Criminal Greensburg, Pa., police made a traffic stop on Oct. 19 and found drug paraphernalia in plain sight on the car’s front seat. When police asked where the occupants had obtained the heroin found in the center console, they said they had bought it from someone named Cody in the maternity ward at the Excela Health Westmoreland hospital in Greensburg. Officers arrested Cody R. Hulse, 25, at the hospital after he admitted to possessing and selling heroin just feet away from his newborn daughter. The Tribune-Review reported that police found 34 stamp bags of heroin, four empty bags and multiple hypodermic needles in Hulse’s possession. “I have an issue myself with drugs ... heroin,” Hulse told them. “I really didn’t want to bring it in.” Hulse’s girlfriend, the mother of the newborn, said she did not know he was selling drugs from the room. Crime Report Coroner’s pathologist Elmo A. Griggs, 75, was arrested Sept. 12 in Morgan County, Ind., for allegedly driving drunk, but it was what was rolling around in the back of his pickup truck that caught officers’ attention. Along with a half-empty vodka bottle, Griggs was transporting several labeled totes, according to The Indianapolis Star, containing organic material. Marshal Bradley K. Shaw of the Brooklyn Police Department said early investigations showed the totes contained brain and liver samples. Griggs’ wife posted on Facebook that he “had a bad day and had a couple of drinks before driving home,” but court documents revealed he failed all field sobriety tests. It’s Good to Have Goals Alysha Orrok of Portsmouth, N.H., will head to Las Vegas in February to compete for the $10,000 prize in the National Grocers Association 2018 Best Bagger contest, The New York Times reported. Orrok, who recently won the New Hampshire competition, is a teacher who moonlights at a Hannaford Supermarket. Competitors are judged on multiple skills, including speed, weight distribution, appearance and technique. Send your tips to weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

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Lucky! Kenyans Gilbert Kipleting Chumba and David Kiprono Metto were among the favorites to win the Venice Marathon on Oct. 22. Instead, Eyob Ghebrehiwet Faniel, 25, a local running in only his second marathon, took the prize after the lead runners were led several hundred meters off course by an errant guide motorcycle. Faniel is the first Italian man to win the Venice Marathon in 22 years. “Today’s race shows that the work is paying off,” Faniel said following his victory. Uh, sure.

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Sex Therapy Zookeepers believe China’s 4-year-old giant panda Meng Meng, currently on loan to the Berlin Zoo, displays her displeasure with her surroundings, food or caretakers by walking backward. “Meng Meng is in puberty,” zoo director Andreas Knieriem explained to the Berliner Zeitung newspaper on Oct. 22. “The reverse walk is a protest.” To address the situation, zookeepers will introduce Meng Meng to Jiao Qing, a male giant panda 3 years older, who presumably will ease her frustration by engaging in sexual activity with her.

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Update In 1990, Marlene Warren, 40, answered her door in Wellington, Fla., and was shot in the face by a clown bearing balloons (one of which read “You’re the greatest!”) and flowers. On Sept. 26, Palm Beach County Sgt. Richard McAfee announced that Warren’s widower’s current wife, Sheila Keen Warren, 54, had been arrested and charged for the murder, 27 years after the fact, and taken into custody in Abingdon, Va. Sheila Keen married Michael Warren in 2002, NBC News reported. Warren went to prison in 1994 for odometer tampering, grand theft and racketeering in connection with his car rental agency. Sheila had worked for him, repossessing cars, and they were reportedly having an affair when the murder took place. While Sheila had always been a suspect, new technology finally allowed prosecutors to retest DNA evidence and build a case against her.

People Different From Us In Lissone, Italy, 40-year-old fitness instructor Laura Mesi made news when she married herself in late September. “I told my relatives and friends that if I had not found my soul mate, I would marry myself by my 40th birthday,” Mesi said, according to The Independent. She spent more than 10,000 euros ($11,700) for the occasion, which included a white wedding dress, a three-tiered cake, bridesmaids and 70 guests. Mesi is part of a self-marrying movement dubbed “sologamy” that has followers all over the world. Her marriage holds no legal significance. “If tomorrow I find a man to build a future with, I will be happy, but my happiness will not depend on him,” Mesi declared.

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